#i literally missed it because i suck :(
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Hmmmmngh. My transphobic sister has been inching back into texting with me after years of not talking and I’ve been allowing it since she’s reading again and I know if she could leave her abusive husband things would get so much better in her brain but she just called and I’m not ready to talk on the phone and I’m just soupy brain anxious about checking the voicemail. I’m sure it’s just a birthday message but. Stress.
#ramblies#she literally said trans people don’t deserve rights and I was like peace im a trans people#and we went years without talking but I know she misses me and it sucks because not having support benefits her shitty husband#but on the other hand she told my mom how gay people go to hell and she’s so grateful her son isn’t gay#like I am not responsible for fixing that
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The audacity of well established bands to only sell merch for their most recent album. You bastards, you fiends, your peak popularity was in 2007, sell me a tshirt with old album art for the love of god.
#my stuff#every band i like is fucking ALLERGIC to letting me represent their greatest hits#like im sorry starset but Transmissions was a royal flush#im sorry 3DG but OneX was a royal flush and Human's cover art FUCKED#my lords powerwolf please please please let me pay you 1 million dollar for Best of the Blessed tshirt just because it goes hard#breaking benjamin and trivium sell me literally ANY decent merch i SWEAR!!!!!!!!!#HOW is trivium not selling a shirt from the Sin and the Sentence#MISSED opportunity#emo#three days grace#<- tagging the boys specifically bc im fighting for my life to rep anything besides the Explosions album (sucked imo)
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Since you're asking for requests... Maybe Ran from Case Closed?
YEAHHHH if no one else got me i know my one follower who likes the same bad japanese detective show as me got me ‼️
#IMPECCABLE timing too since i literally started rereading the manga like a month ago. im on chapter 398#which sounds like a lot but this shit is basically one piece in terms of length and plot insanity so#the amount of plot that i did not remember AT ALL is crazy to me but i KNOW i got further than this last time because there are still like#major characters missing from the story. which on chapter FOUR HUNDRED is insane but yk. theres 30 years worth of plot ig#anyway. wish me luck god willing im going to actually catch up this time#my little conan phone strap watching me draw this with that smug ass look on his face. im mentally ill#this show sucks btw don't watch it i just love detective shows
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attempted to watch the decameron series on netflix for shits and giggles and now i want to die. that is not the decameron that is a fucked up version of too hot to handle where you could die of bubonic plague at any time
#listen ik perfectly well that the decameron is essentially classic smut but still. it's completely different.#the show literally just took the setting and some of the names and ran with it#NOTHING of what happens in that show is accurate to the book and I'm so mad about it because the book is good! it's good!#they literally just did random things with the characters!!!!#there is no conte leonardo there is no wedding. there is no servant/master switcheroo thing. and dioneo is not a fucking doctor#half of the characters are missing. panfilio and neifile have never been married? and by god WHERE is fiammetta#dont even get me started on the forced diversity. why is panfilio fucking the postman in the pig stable?? what??#i could keep going but anyways. netflix kys i was so excited for this and it sucks#the decameron#the decameron netflix#netflix
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Need everyone to know that last year I had recreated 21 and 24 in both tomodachi life and tomodachi collection, originally on life but when that file stopped working I passed them on to collection and the funny thing is that they got married on BOTH games. Truly the definition of they will love each other in every universe
(Though I had a pic of the proposal in life but ig not? Just have to believe me on this one please)
#i need to try to get life again but loading the shaders on citra was so hard for no reason?#which sucks because that's the FUN version#literally at one point the game was either going too slow or had missing shaders or was weird#venture bros
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So I think I'm over my Obey Me Phase or like at least over Nightbringer because it's Season was shit but just you know food for thought...
Aint it funny how MC is now completely isolated from other humans/their friends/family/pets?
Like my friend and I were talking about it and like imagine MC has HUMAN/MORTAL family and friends that they talk to every time they were separated from the brothers. Like whenever the Immortals really tries them or pushes them they can go to their human friends for like a palate cleanser and a clear head/remind themselves and ground them to the reality of their situation/support from NOT blind lemmings. Like sort of remind them that they're still human and not on the same playing field as immortal Demons/Angels/Sorcerers
But now in Nightbringer that's literally stripped from them; MC has NO ONE outside of the Brothers/Immortals they're literally FORCED to bond with their circle of dysfunctionals and its like now you are stuck in that toxic friend circle because literally your circle of support hasn't been born/exist yet. That's fucking horrific.
No wonder MC is far more clingy and annoying in Nightbringer than they are in OG; Every lesson is a chip away at their original personality and sanity to replace it to the codependent creep MC is now lol.
#obey me nightbringer#obey me#obey me MC#obey me nightbringer MC#MC is so fucking annoying this is the only headcanon i can work with#No but like its so creepy because i always imagined MC balanced their human life and their Devildom life to stay rational but now#Well now with no circle of human/mortal supporters like their friends and family theyre literally forced to cling to the brothers#Its so terrifying about Nightbringer thats why Im still so upset we're stuck in the Past#Its shit like this that makes me unable to enjoy Time Travel Shit like I want to go for Boba with my friends but I cant do that#No i cant do that because I got a toxic friend group to babysit#No but like MC seems more stupid and clingy so my guess is theyre mentally unraveling to the point they just dont want to be alone#Like begging for validation and attention from anyone especially the immortals#Pray for MC theyre going into their codependent phase now#Don't worry; just like with real friends theyre not gonna break out of this for years until they get the courage#Which we all know MC doesnt have the balls to drop the brothers/Immortals like bad habits lol#Ima play with this headcanon until MC stops sucking or we go back to the future.#I miss MC's family and friends who have to live with the fact the immortals took them from them again
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Fuck all of y'all in Florida how dare you misrepresent my liberal king that man loves women (not in that way) and he would not STAND for this smh
#yk damn well he'd make the vague but absolutely not vague threats and then actually follow through on them#HE WOULD NOT MISS!!!!!!!#anyways this week has sucked so bad dear god#the cold I've had for a month has apparently been pneumonia#And I coughed so hard I TORE A FUCKING MUSCLE in my ribs and I could barely move for days and had to sleep in a recliner#also finally got diagnosed with adhd but found out all my old teachers told my mom they think I have it and I should get tested but NOOOOOOO#SHE DIDN'T WANT TO DEAL WITH IT#there literally couldn't have been a clearer sign than when I almost failed fourth grade because I couldn't turn in my homework on time#The election obviously my immediate family are full Kamala but my grandparents are VERY Trump#Oh and my brothers therapist told us he apparently has the most severe case of executive dysfunction he's seen in his 30 years of working#He literally told us to just take him out of college and let him live at home forever because he won't be able to finish school#because of it so THAT'S gonna be fun since my dad said if he ever tries to come live back here he'll throw him out on the streets#THIS IS JUST IN A WEEK#WHO IS MY OPP I DON'T KNOW WHAT I DID BUT I DON'T DESERVE THIS FANFIC WRITER ASS LORE#LEAVE ME ALONE ����#red vs blue#rvb#rooster teeth#rvb florida#election 2024
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sorry but as someone who *had to* live in a van I will never understand all these trust fund kids who *choose to* live in a van
#it sucks. especially if you live in a van WITH someone. they will get on your every last nerve because youre sharing such a small space#shit will go missing that you need#it will never be as clean or organized as it was when you took those aesthetic pictures#and the amount of $ youll spend on gas for your not-at-all-fuel-efficient conversion van is astronomical#nasty people who hate the homeless bc theyre edgelords or far right will slash your tires and smash your windows#actually probably not if your van home is ☆aesthetic☆ vs literally homeless tbh#sorry i just fucking hate how homelessness is getting gentrified and trendy when actual homeless people are suffering
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one of my favorite fic authors just anonymized all their stories :/ another nail in the coffin of a truly depressing week
#they were my number 1 Comfort Otp From Childhood Understander which extra sucks because almost all the content for that pairing is. bad.#deeply depressing one was at 3/4 chapters and i was very eagerly awaiting the final chapter since july#they werent big or anything tho so its a vigil of one#rip ao3 user 24parts you will be missed#if you somehow see this please send me the last chapter idc if its done i will love you forever#before anyone says anything ofc i commented and bookmarked on like literally all their shit
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It’s crazy to me how so much of the fantasy genre fandoms here on tumblr are just.. SJM. And not even that, it’s just acotar.
I know for a fact there are other series yall read and I want to talk to people about them. I wonder if people outside of tumblr are just scared to come here because not many people talk about books and instead just fight over the same 4 fae.
There used to be so many blogs doing book reviews, where did y’all go?
Just thinking… but hey, what are you guys currently reading?
#am I the only one who like.. missed when sjm wasn’t as big#when you can ask for a book rec or walk into a store and not see sjm everywhere#she overshadows some really cool series that people don’t talk about as much#and it has me thinking like#it must SUCK being a fantasy writer these days because literally every single reader will be comparing you to acotar#that sucks 😭#acotar#sjmaas#throne of glass#books#fantasy books
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When V.IV Rusty calls you buddy for the first time in a playthrough
[id: simple stick figure drawing of a person frowning deeply at a computer with their hands clasped. Overlaid is the person’s head with three different expressions, one filled with dread, one sobbing, and the third laughing with tears in their eyes. End id]
#ac6#v.iv rusty#doomed yuri but its one mech pilot calling another one buddy#armored core 6#i literally did 90% of the boss’s hp with only 317 ap remaining lol. i really sucked at that last fight outside#and then i completely missed the supply sherpa because im unobservant
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lines i think about way too often
#the way literally everyone is yelling SELF-SACRIFICING TENDENCIES ARE NOT AN INHERENTLY GOOD OR DESIRABLE TRAIT TO HAVE#and miss chise hatori says “sorry what was that? i wasnt listening i was too busy sticking my nose into another students personal life”#“because her life clearly sucks and i see too much of myself in her to NOT feel the intense urge to save her the way i was once saved”#i want to study her under a microscope#tamb#mny#the ancient magus bride#mahoutsukai no yome
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one of my biggest hopes for future fnaf releases is bringing the tapes back
#please bring back actually interesting storytelling and classic 'phone person talking to you'#instead of cryptic 3 setence long 'stories' that could mean any character because of the wrong pronouns being used in ruin#like god i miss the tapes soo much#patient 71 and 46 were so good and cool#and then ruin was like 'heres a recount of what you literally just watched happen on screen told in a shitty way'#pandas.txt#pre hw2 dlc#its so baffling that hw2 had no tapes bc so much of hw1s story was told in the tapes#thats why hw2s story sucks lmao there were no tapes and nothing on screen made sense#just like zero recognizeable things happened#in a game like this telling is better than showing man#discourse
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I actually really like what you’re doing with Crowfeather, he feels a bit like a foil to Bramblestar almost. They’re both prophesied Sundrown Patrol cats who end up being awful fathers and bad people. But, Crowfeather matures and changes his behavior. He can never fix what’s already broken, he’ll never be close to Breezepelt or his Grandkits, but Can still become a better person, and he’s still willing to put in the work to change.
Bramble is the opposite. He never matures, he changes for the worse. He looks at the broken shards of his relationships with Squirrel and The Three and instead of attempting to fix it he doubles down and drags the remains through the mud. He gets a second chance to be a good father, now to Spark and Alder, and without care or hesitation he tears opportunity apart. What’s already broken can never be fixed, but unlike Crowfeather he will never be willing to change just for the sake of being better.
Exactly, like... my intentions aren't to 'redeem' every bad parent or family member, or totally erase how they hurt their kids. I think it's especially important to show situations that can't be fixed, and people who never do get better.
But you don't have to be 'rewarded' with a person's time or attention to make that effort worth it. Being a better person has its rewards in the new bonds you can forge, and the meaning you can find in other things. You're never too far gone to be unworthy of happiness and fulfillment, even if there are things that will never be the same.
I think being like Bramble is a very lonely experience. It sucks to be like that. People end up drifting away from mistreatment, which just prompts the abuser to claw harder and hold on tighter to what they haven't already lost, in an endless loop. It's really sad AND infuriating, it's like watching someone try to fill a vertical hole with tears and blood.
It was really helpful to me in my own life to realize that, that a person can be hurting, and that still doesn't mean you personally need to give them the time of day. Real pain and trauma in the heart of someone who's hurting you does not entitle them. They can even be trying to make amends-- you don't need to be their salvation. Regret is just how wisdom turns a wound into a scar, y'know?
But anyway, glad to know that my Crowf changes are going over smoothly. I was a bit worried of the response, since I'm both trying to establish he has some serious differences from canon to establish he could be a competent leader AND still keep that he was an abusive father. I hope I'm hitting a good balance.
#I think canon crow should be an AWFUL leader#Like. The sort of person who really should not be around power#Even if he is trying to make amends and improve#I don't think power is something to 'deserve' I think it's something that should go to the most qualified#TNP bothers me a lot that it concludes Yes Brambleclaw Bad-At-Judgement DESERVES power#because it Proves Everyone Wrong about him#Like... no. No you shouldn't get power just to Prove Em Wrong#You should get power because you have good judgement and make a good leader. Something Bramble actively disproved#And by all accounts Canon Crow has never been able to see the bigger picture without serious effort#But unfortunately no one else in WindClan is like... a recognizable person#with well-defined traits#Even Heathertail has become weirdly bland since having children which sucks#I miss Heatherstar leader of DarkClan give that sassy little weasel back to me#''I found the hideout so I get to be leader'' literally cannot argue with that. go off queen#bone babble#tw abuse
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#i’m not answering this one because. idk LMFAO#both are tragic#on one hand#the doctor will never love jack as much as jack loves the doctor#sucks but. it’s true lol#ianto loves jack so much but he’s only a moment in jack’s life#no matter how much jack wants ianto to be more than just a moment in time they really didn’t know each other too long#yknow. considering how long jack’s life is#(if we ignore that period of time jack was buried alive at least)#(but even then it’s not a long time in the span of jack’s life)#which also sucks#the doctor will always be out there throughout jack’s life which kind of gives him something to hold on to#like he told her when they reunited in season 12. he’ll always be there if the doctor needs him#so it’s like. hm#do we go for the long lasting ship or the more requited ship??#either way jack doesn’t get to keep either of them in his life lmfao#whether they die (rip ianto i miss u) or they ditch him or something 💀#i’m literally just rambling here sorry#lmfao#torchwood#doctor who#doctorjack#ninejack#tenjack#thirteenjack#janto#captain jack harkness#ik there r other jack ships but idc. these r The jack ships to me (not including doctorjackrose)
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Monday blues are hitting me hard today
#you can ignore this if you want cause im gonna talk a lot of shit and sads and feelings#but as i’ve realised i literally have no one to empty my heart out to irl#and it’s fucking heartbreaking cause i love my friends but I don’t think they love me back#which is an insane though but I genuinely think it’s true like#i moved away 4 ish months ago and i know that communication comes from both side but like i wanted to test smt#so i stopped texting first and guess what?? only 2 friends texted me#1 because she’s genuinely a good friend i think and the other because she needed money (which i gave her like a fucking fool)#my heart just hurts cause i realised i’m not as important to them as they are to me and I’m completely misreading our relationship and#it sucks because I thought they were going to be my friends for life but now they’re all posting recaps of 2023 and im in none of their pics#even in pics where i was present at the time#and i dont know if it’s intentional or if im just being an insecure little bitch but it fucking hurts#i just want to be important to someone#i want to be someone’s person#not a last resort like#they keep doing stuff together which i get like life moves on and i’m the one that left#but not a single text or a pic or a ‘we miss you!’#not even a fucking heart on insta stories#am i being desperate?? or do I actually have shitty friends#like i have impostor syndrome in my own fucking friendgroup???#I can’t just drop them either cause then I’ll actually have no one#idk i must exude some sort of energy#i dont think ive ever had a genuine good best friend like for some reason they leave after 3 years#(and this is why i have trust issues and attachment disorders)#anyway I’ll probably just suck it up and go about my day#ive lived 24 years like this what’s an entire life#it’s wild cause i have a good time whenever i’m with them (i think) and then i leave and it’s crickets#i feel like hired entertainment sometimes#idk my head hurts so I’m probably overthinking but like these feelings come from somewhere right?#i have to stop
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