#but somehow this sort of helped
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one of my favorite things about zedaph is that on a server full of people that find strange and oft-overlooked minecraft mechanics or rare events and then see just how far they can push them in the name of spectacle or efficiency or world-breaking, zed is over here finding these mechanics in order to do the weirdest things he can think of in as entertaining a manner as possible
like i 100% have faith in zedaph's theoretical ability to be just as efficient or spectacular or world-breaking. if he wanted to do that stuff, i trust that he absolutely could. but thats so far from being his priority. instead, hes going to spend around a week of irl time focused entirely on eventually having the good luck to spawn in something insanely rare so that he can convert it into something even rarer, the result of which being something that 99% of the server reacts with complete and utter shock that it even exists in the first place, just because its zany and funny and he wanted to. and i love that
#zedaph#hermitcraft#genuinely i adore the clucky few project im not even done watching the episode and i had to pause and make this post#i saw impulses video first and went ''that HAS to be some sort of datapack or something-''#only to immediately go ''no. no it cant be. because this is zed#and its practically a trademark of his to push the limits of the game as far as possible in the direction least expected#not for the purpose of efficiency or spectacle or intimidation or whatever like some players who push limits#but purely for the purpose of making something so funny you cant help but laugh at whats going on#and maybe being a bit impressed that he ever thought of it in the first place''#at which point i went ''holy shit. since its zed doing this. somehow he ACTUALLY got a villager on a chicken. with no cheats. thats INSANE'#i was relieved when i checked my subscriptions to see what the next video i had to watch was and saw he would be next in line#bc if i had to sit through 19 other hermits videos before i could watch his and find out what the fuck he was doing i would have been so sa#sidenote but i feel like a zed video where he interacts with this many other people all in the same video is so rare#idk i didnt watch season 9 and i know he started collabing a lot more w/ other hermits then#so maybe its not nearly as rare these days#but like the last one that *i* saw where he interacted with this many people at once was towards the end of season 8#when all the people he experimented on earlier in the season came back to experiment on him#and like i would like zeds videos with or without the collabs. but its a lot of fun to see him interact with people#so its very cool to me when he does it with a lot of people all in the same video
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cody, frowning: what are they in for?
obi-wan: cody, this isn't a prison.
cody: they can leave?
obi-wan: no dear, but–
cody, peering quietly into an enclosure, quietly as he eyed a rather plump looking porg: i bet that one stole someone's rations.
#commander cody#star wars the clone wars#obi wan kenobi#codywan#obi wan x cody#incorrect quotes#codywan incorrect quotes#its basically a zoo of sorts#plump porg#cue a few troopers in the back just staring#wooley has somehow gotten in with the lothcats and is at this moment being swarmed#dads please help#wooley is codys favourite
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fake ep idea + doodles
#i was thinking abt how funny it would be if there was a shiftythrifting blog equivalent in lmk. and half the stuff on there is#submitted by wukong. so i thought a yard sale ep would be funny lol#basically the hoard becomes problem one way or another and wukong figures the best way to get rid of his junk is thru ebay#somehow ends up selling world ending artifacts to random megapolis citizens so mk mei and redson have to scramble to find em#purposely meant to mirror the weekly shenanigans s1-2 style eps that are really goofy (dumpling ep noodles ep etc)#but it gets darker and darker because MK is not fucking ok after that whole thing with the scroll and some unchecked identity crisis#for me id want him to kind of. freak tf out because they have to find MULTIPLE chaos inducing items that could end the world while trying t#be sillygoofy and funny about it. so hes trying to mask his panic with “ohhh guys its just like the good ol days ^_^ remember that ^_^”#ESPECIALLY after that whole thing with the ink scroll. also mei doesnt buy any of it and is worried for him the whole time#as for the B plot it could be monkey king also trying to be very relaxed abt selling 4000 years worth of stuff and tang getting all huffy#like “these are priceless artifacts that could help us learn so much about the past!! wtf man!!!”#and maybe it reveals smth like wukong not wanting to hold on anymore bc his past weighs him down. and theyre all reminders#i think azure mentioned that wukong is sentimental (idk if that was genuine or lying to mk) so that could be touched on to#so basically. the theme would be some sort of conversation abt nostalgia. i think. im not a writer so its very fuzzy in my head#if anyone wants to add on or include their own spin on it feel free. also included undercut redson as a treat somewhere in there#myart#lego monkie kid#monkie kid#lmk red son#lmk mei#lmk MK#lmk xiaotian#lmk xiaojiao#lmk sun wukong#lmk swk#doodles#lmk tang#lmk pigsy#lmk traffic light trio#yard sale ep
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please do yourself a favor and listen to david tennant malvolio reading the fake love letter to him (act 2 scene 5 of twelfth night). im going to actually start sobbing. oh my GOD
#twelfth night#malvolio#david tennant#my edits#DYING AND SCREAMING. SHAKING AND SOBBING#HOW DOES HE MANAGE TO BALANCE HOW FUCKING FUNNY THIS SCENE IS BUT ALSO PLAY IT IN SUCH A WAY#WHERE MY HEART BREAKS SO BADLY FOR HIM AND I AM ALSO SUFFERING THE WORST SECONDHAND EMBARRASSMENT OF MY LIFE#DAVID TENNANT MALVOLIO MY WET BEAST OF ALL TIME MYYYYYYYY PATHETIC LOSER EVERRRRRRRRRRR#I CANT TAKE THE HANDS OFF MY FACE I AM SO EMBARRASSED I FEEL SO FUCKING BAD FOR HIM PLEASE SOMEONE HELP THIS POOR MAN#THE WAY HE TRIPS AND FALLS OVER THE BOXTREE AT THE START AND ITS SOMEHOW DOWNHILL FROM THERE#th production of twelfth night i just watched (mark rylance's version) has malvolio played in such a way#where he's sort of like this doddering old fool that gets easily duped by the prank#here it's like. david really plays into how malvolio thinks he's ALL that he thinks he's soooooo so smart#and that's why he's even falling for it at all#and like this def has more basis in the text cuz maria is like Oh this loser thinks so highly of himself and thinks everyone likes him#this is going to be how my plan works#which is so so mean btw i think this woman has something wrong with her too
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to be, or not to be (romanticization of the inevitable)
#ray's tag#keys' art#undescribed#skeletons#ok to reblog#the skeleton model that i traced for this was provided by the incredible kiku @kikunai whom you can find right here on tumblr!#so uh. This is a piece about chronic fatigue although the original idea i had for it drifted a bit as soon as I started coloring the linear#(i really enjoy shading and lighting things and got a bit carried away here but i stand by my choice because this is my favorite thing#that i've ever drawn)#anyways. i often feel especially lately with school being back in season that my bones are leaden with this sort of. weariness. theyre heav#it weighs on our mental health and energy a lot and although there's a couple of reasons we have been given for it#that doesn't remove the fact that this is still a thing that affects us in a very real way day to day although we are good at masking it.#often i come home to find that i do not have the physical mental or creative energy to work on things i really want to#especially project: nexus which i feel extra bad about even though i can't help it because i just started it so recently#it is a mild to moderate struggle to make it day to day and i just. wanted to represent this somehow#my original concept for this was a skeleton with some black goop gunk whatever leaking from its joints#but as i started adding the cracks and coloring them gold (a personal touch; kintsugi is a concept that is very dear to us)#i realized that the focus here was less on the condition itself and more on the body that it afflicts.#so i put it into a spotlight.#ironic i know since very little people acknowledge this irl or even know it exists at all but i added rim lighting. I added color gradients#I colored the lineart and made it all fancy and even added a flare for the head to get the point across that even at its core; disability i#a performance. this is not implying that disabilities are fake in fact this is the opposite of that. i wanted to show that with disabilitie#especially i think in my personal opinion the invisible ones#we are all masking at least a little bit during the vast majority of the day. humans are social creatures and it is only when we are alone#or with someone we deeply trust where we allow ourselves to be who we truly are without fear and even then that can be rare#so i wanted to show this bit of the soul in as broad a limelight as i could. idk this is a really abstract piece and i dont know if anyone#will even get it but it matters to me at least. and even though we've been largely bedridden for the past week i think that's okay#we will get it figured out. all of us. okay? okay. i love you. i fucking love you. we are going to fucking make it#(also the xes over the eyes are because i thought they looked cool they have no deeper meaning at least i think they dont#actually i think they do but i cant put it into words idk. Art is subjective assign your own meaning i'm gonna go get a shower)
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just watched beetlejuice beetlejuice at the theaters, and can I just say, I loved it! it definitely didn’t disappoint and was a zany adventure, just like the first one.
and it kinda added layers to betelgeuse in a way. because spoilers I definitely thought they would go the same route for astrid and jeremy, the same way they did for lydia and betelgeuse in that what jeremy wanted was for astrid to marry him so that he could get out. instead it was a more sinister method, and it makes me wonder why betelgeuse never tried it. it can’t be because he doesn’t know about it, because he’s the type of ghost to read the handbook backwards and forwards just so he can find every loophole to exploit. like my head keeps going in circles. especially for the first movie where lydia had initially wanted ‘in’ while he wanted ‘out’, the switcheroo method that jeremy tried with astrid would’ve been perfect then. even in this movie where he already has experience of lydia backing out of their deal, he could have had lydia promise to exchange her soul for his. with how much she wanted to save astrid, I’m sure lydia would have agreed. instead, he just wanted to remarry her. it’s interesting because it means betelgeuse, as putrid, crass, disgusting, and opportunistic as he is, actually seems like he has lines he won’t cross.
#beetlejuice#beetlejuice beetlejuice#beetlejuice beetlejuice spoilers#lydia deetz#astrid deetz#like sure betelgeuse did end up killing his ex wife but it was a qpq kind of thing#so is it like jeremy was even a worse kind of monster thing?#betelgeuse is interesting because while he seems every bit a cheater#when he gives his word he’ll see it through#he plays fair…in a way#even at the end it seems like he lets lydia banish him#like some sort of fae he will trick you dont trust him but if you beat him fair and square…#I mean I loved the cartoon#part of me thinks that even movie!beetlejuice has a soft spot for lydia#because he will (try to) horrify and traumatize her#(and I love that her reaction to this is just an unimpressed weirded out look)#but he will still help her#he treats her differently than other women for example…somewhat#weirdly enough they remind me of jareth and sarah#so my favorite dynamic of theirs will always be lydia somehow still getting the upper hand on him
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CAN WE SEE THE HOSTAGE ROWAN DOODLES
Oh to be at the mercy of someone so far removed from reality that they can't see how much they're hurting you, and wouldn't care if you told them.
#'rubber ducking' is when you speak aloud to an object and it helps you sort through your thoughts#two of us AU#two of us!Red#two of us!David#somehow having a whole ass man tied up in your dorm seems a lot darker than the fun-free-range-nightmare-house#David healed Red's eye with magic and by that I mean Red just straight up doesn't have an eye hole anymore#but hey! at least he's not bleeding out!#art#doodles#kidnapping#whump#I am working so hard to not be a freak about this
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When you're one of the most selfish mc who only saves people because it's part of a job you never wanted and did not get to chose or you would've died, who took your co-workers' morals and ideals because you didn't have any and desperately wanted to fit in somewhere, be it with the heroes or the villains, who's activelly haunted by one the most tragic past to have been created and suffer from a psychosis so bad (dare I say schizophrenia) that even your enemies acknowledged that you are mentally ill and objectively flawed in your judgement, never hesitated to try to kill anyone and has the most egoistic reason to be a good person but the fandom still thinks you're just a kind crybaby "I don't know what a gun is" homosexual twink.
#him being refered as an angel by Shibuzawa is FUCKING IRONIC !!#ASAGIRI IS ALWAYS IRONIC WHEN IT COMES TO LIGHT NOVELS CENTERED AROUND ATSUSHI#Ex : The plot of 55min being parallele to the Decay of Angels arc#He's also called the Man-eating tiger and yes I do think that Dazai lied to him when he said he never ate anyone to preserve his psyche#and was also called “the man who can see the future” and has time travelled with Akutagawa like why aren't we talking about that#his relationship with Mori is also actually good#Mori is one if not the only character who saved and helped Atsushi during their first meeting and kept good contacts with him#because yes Atsushi has seen Mori knowing that he was the pm boss off-screen and they had a normal exchange#I also think that Shibuzawa Atsushi and Fyodor are connected to a form of Holy Trinity#Believer/God/Angel or Messenger#Joseph/Jesus/Mary#or Fyodor and Atsushi as Jesus and Judas#but the instance of trinity in bsd are dare I say extreme#Oda/Ango/Dazai#Sigma/Fyodor/Nikolai#Atsushi/Akutagawa/Kyoka#and so on#and the whole situation around his ability which is unlike any other#It turns him into Byakko (her own being) (similar to Natsume) and nullify his wounds no matter how lethal (similar to Dazai and Yosano)#and enhance him even with his ability off making him constantly stronger than other characters and dare I say equal to the hunting dogs#yk the MODIFIED humans#and the plot of both 55mins and Dead Apple being around abilities and giving us Atsushi lore make me think that Atsushi and Byakko are 1/2#probably a sort of higher being since some abilities are very religious centered (how Fyodor sees abilities and Shibuzawa) 2/2#but I think it would lend toward a “sinner” position which would be crazy because that Atsushi would then probably be the reason why Fyodor#hates abilities so much if Atsushi and Byakko are somehow be connected to the “sin” of abilities#and so you guys know Atsushi's orphanage was a church so yes he's related to christianity#and the Decay of Angels is LITTERALY full of religious people to different degrees#and it would be ironic (once again) if the antagonists were the “Angels” and the protagonist a demon#I just realized that I did a lot of typos sorry I got too excited#but yeah keep calling bsd bad written (we're on barely chap.115 no good manga was finished by chap.115 guys just wait for the rest to drop)
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I can imagine a scenario during the war where Wu, Acronix, and the previous EM of Ice are all meant to be the seers of the Elemental Alliance, and they're all huddled around a bunch of Spirit Smoke, trying to trigger any possible future outcomes/visions.
#I think Wu doesnt have inherent vision powers but the spirit smoke responds to him greatly because of how in tune he is with spirits#he meditates a lot which makes him sort of a spirit magnet#which is why spirit smoke shows so much#the spirits of time smile greatly upon him#spirit smoke on a seer can typically trigger their visions#and on a master of time it can help them more clearly understand each outcome#i think visions are inherently tied to ice#a friend mentioned the ice caves when i brought the ice ems have visions idea and i havent been normal since#i think when the first em of time stole the power from cloud kingdom#an amount of vision powers somehow stuck themself to the element of ice. thus all ice ems get visions#ninjago#raine's rambles#raine's lore#wu ninjago#ninjago wu#master wu#acronix ninjago#ninjago acronix#ice ninjago#ninjago ice
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Today's Daily Degurechaff is… Huevember 2023 - Day 12
#huevember#dailydegurechaff#youjo senki#the saga of tanya the evil#tanya von degurechaff#when i look at this i just cant help but think she looks like shes in LSU colors#i dont even like football but somehow thats my first thought#anyway thank u to madmarchhare on the previous post who pointed out purple can also symbolize corruption#thats sort of the vague inspiration for this one#with her hands posed like a cute little monster i guess
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sometimes looking at like Self Help Strategies lists for the symptoms I'm having is always just like:
thing that I already do
thing I have tried 10 times
thing I already do
thing that I don't have the money to do
thing I already do
thing I've been doing since I was 10yrs old to no avail
thing that is impossible given my situation
thing that doesn't apply to me
thing that I already do
thing I have already tried
hrmm, oh wait, maybe finally- OH, yeah.. okay. thing that I already do but it was just phrased slightly differently
thing I have already done
#I think maybe productivity tips help less if the reason you're unproductive is partially like.. physcial health and other extenral things#out of your control. rather than just like having trouble paying attention or spending too much time on tiktok or whatever#all the strategic to do lists in the world are not going to somehow prevent me from waking up with a debilitating migraine or whatever#or having external stressors or lacking resources and connections or other Productivity Essentials etc.#especially many tips involve stuff like 'cut off from social media' since thats the modern day time waster for so many poeple#and it's like.. lol.. i can hardly even maintain a blog even thuogh i actively WANT TO DO SO. 'shut off your smart phone!' already#done babey i fucking hate smart phones i shall never use an app unless i am forced to. 'delete tiktok' yep. already covered. tiktok and#all of those thinsg are my enemies. 'save money by cancelling some of your services' cool. already ahead of you.#who the fuck is out here paying for like 10 different subscription services. pirated videos uploaded to google drive and youtube to mp3#my beloved. etc. etc. and so on. 'socialize less' .........LOL.. if only you knew.. mr.writer of the article. i can barely muster#talking to friends more than once a month and even less if I'm actively sick (often occurence) etc. etc. ... hewoo#I think maybe instead of generic productivity tips I need more like.. how to refocus and be productive anyway even if you have a headache#or are nauseous or etc. Not that those are always things to ignore. and of course you should let your body rest and etc. But plenty of peop#e have mild physical symptoms and just work through them. Ithink something about the way my body/mind is SOO hyper attuned to all#sensory information just makes it like... constantly 'GRR well I cant focus on WRITING right now because my lef#t ear feels weird and my socks are too itchy and my back has a strange pressure and I'm vaguely warm and my eye feels some ssort of#way it doesnt normally feel and I'm hyperaware of my breathing and also nauseous for no reason' and like half of those things I#think '''normal''' people wouldnt even notice or at least would be able to just live through. but for me it's like.. nealry impossible to i#gnore and soooo distracting always. like 'wahh.. nooo we can't draw or get anything done.. my legs feel slightly heavy or something!!'#like............. ok......... who cares. thats not even a PAIN sensation it's just something weird. but it's just like.. NO. constant#mental alerts about the 'heaviness' of your legs be upon ye. Though Imean like.. yes.. 70% of the time I am in genuine pain#or having some sort of actual ailment with trackable physical symptoms. but sometimes it's just like... we could totally be working right#now and ignoring this silly thing but my brain is fixated on it for no reason uncontrollably. etc. etc. I guess it's the same way that like#most people can go to a grocery store without the whole experience being so overwhelming and so much stuff going on at once#that they have to rest afterwards but like.. in my own HOME doing NOTHING i feel like I should be able to not get overwhelmed lol. ANYWAY#Rolling my bastard little rock up a dumbass hill and so on and so forth
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first art post of the new year!!! granted, i don't share my art here that much anyway, but– shhh.
hehehehhhooo,, here's something i've been working on for 'bout a month,, albeit not consecutively– took a few,, very very long breaks in between working on this,, but i managed to finish it in the end! am i satisfied with it? .......ehhhh? not completely, but if this took any longer, it might not have seen the light of day, so like. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯.
anyway,, made a little poster for my favorite fic, tommyinnit's services for villains, vigilantes, and various other vagabonds, by @scorpionoesit!!! it's really really good,,, and i've always wanted to make more art for it,, so i decided– poster! at least,, that's what it's mean to resemble,,, dkdmkdmdkd.
i will freely admit,, i'm... not the biggest fan of the fan-made logo i tried to design for it,, feels a bit boring, and could definitely have used a bit more pizazz, something to make feel more like the fic itself(what does that mean? you figure that out),,,, but– again, steam was running low,, dkdnksjs. graphic design is my passion. i do also have other complaints, but i'm afraid i already punched my one-use self-critique card,, oh well,,, dkdnkxjdkd.
regardless,, even with the flaws only i can really see,, this still turned out pretty okay!! hope you enjoy it, mx. scorpio and mx. alibi!!! and i hope everyone else has a wonderful new year!!!!
#my art#dream smp#services for vagabonds#tommyinnit fanart#tommyinnit#i don't wanna try tagging the rest of them so i'm just not gonna <3#anyway wrow i wonder who the skull guy and mysterious shadowy figure are....... could be anyone.#i was gonna try and fit in some sort of hero so i could check all the dots of everyone tommy's help#specifically either dr**m (derogatory) or phil#(was mostly leaning towards phil)#but 1) couldn't figure out a way to make it look good with the current set up#my first thought was to try moving the current characters around a bit; but then it would feel too crowded#my second thought was to have them appear from the smoke; somehow? a smoky figure?#but that only really looked good in sketch form and i didn't have the patience to figure that out properly#and 2) no clue what their designs look like. don't even know what their powers are; yet!#was also wanting to fit fundy in but it didn't work for the first reason#fun rapid fire character design facts: niki has a littol sharp tooth 'cause of the joker stuff!#i originally gave tubbo green eyes;; but i decided blue-green looked cooler#tech– [cough] i mean;; *orion's* cloak has a faint lil orion pattern on can barely see it but it's there i assure you !!!#(i tried my best for his design but i am. not the greatest at outfits;; especially hero/villain ones)#tommy has long hair bc it's *MY* art and *I* say he gets long hair. this definitely isn't canon to vagabonds i just like to do this#<- also why michael and tommy have freckles#tommy has a bit of green in his design(through the patch) due to a theory of mine :D#might have over-rendered the hair a bit but. fuck you i like it#anyway i think that's all i have to say about it? if you've actually read all these tags;;; have a cookie -> 🍪#pretend it's a peanut butter cookie#actually. no pretend it's both. you get two cookies. as a treat.#anyway have a good rest-of-your-day !!!!!!
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I genuinely can't stand it anymore, the whole "get a job" as a comeback, the whole shaming people who are unemployed, shaming people who live in their parents basements. Can we stop that already? "Get a hobby" is a lot better anyway.
#jobs aren't accessible and a lot of people who don't work actually have a valid reason like disability like me?#somehow im too disabled to work but at the eyes of the government I'm not disabled enough to get any sort of help#so im kinda doomed to stay at my parents house forever#it's getting hard trust me because woth age i kinda want my own money but we can't really do anything for that i have less than#50€ a month to have hobbies and all so yea it's really difficult but at least i dont pay food and bills#i fucking hate capitalism#i just wanna enjoy my life without stressing out about starving to death#grem stuff
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Belle I mean this with only respect and genuine love and apologies if it's upsetting: every time you go off about religion and start reinventing heresies, I am taking a frontrow seat and making notes like it's my first day of college. You understand me, all your thoughts are better-articulated versions of my own, I am your most devoted disciple. Religious trauma gang <3
It's not upsetting at all. (Except the part where you put yourself down, stop doing that >:[)It's incredibly validating to have others understand what I'm talking about. My heart goes out to all of us who are suffering under this. A big struggle I've had for decades and continue to have is actually calling it abuse because so many times I've been told "It's so hard to raise a child, your mother was only doing was she could!". But we were never difficult kids. We just wanted to be heard and have our voices be respected when we said "No, I don't want this life." We deserved that much. It wasn't our fault.
Another Biblical story I'm thinking a lot about lately is the one of Abraham and Isaac. Where god tells Abraham to sacrifice his only son and Abraham goes to do it without question. His child. The one he and his wife prayed for, for so long. Laying on that stone slab as his father raised the knife. Choosing his god over his flesh and blood because Abraham couldn't even conceive of disobeying him. Isaac must have grown up hearing that story. How he was so wanted and so precious only to end up on the sacrificial altar anyway because this faceless god demanded it and his father put more value into that than his love for his only son.
I don't think god talks to Abraham again after he sends the angel to stop him. Do you think Sarah ever knew? Did Isaac ever tell her what Abraham was willing to do? Would she have been horrified or was she too, lost to this state of mind. I don't know. It's two thirty in the morning and I'm thinking about the cycle of abuse.
Thanks for letting me ramble, Mal. It will happen again. 🩵
#especially if my yapping somehow helps other people with family guilt and religious trauma#also please take this vision of a painting i've been seeing so vividly:#a portrait of the holy family in a sort of holy icon style. haloes on their heads like spotlights marking them out.#Mary seated with her hands in her lap#eyes half lidded and face serene#you think at first glance she is praying but her face is gaunt and her eyes are hollow#and there are tear tracks on her cheeks like she was crying just before she sat down#jesus as a child with wide eyes as he plays with a dove#in the reflection of his ouoils you see the hill with three crosses#and the dove is bleeding from a fatal wound to its breast but glows with light as it extends a wing. brought back from the dead.#joseph with his hand firmly on Mary's shoulder to show je won't leave her but he's not looking at them or the viewer#instead he's looking longingly as another little family walks by in the distance#mother's head thrown back in laughter as her child runs to their father. the other mother is visibly pregnant.#over the painting you see a great oair of heavenly hands to show that this family was special they were chosen and set aside#set aside like lambs to slaughter. and that is held up as a point of pride that this tragedy happened.#that this family was doomed from the start.
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I tried to mod something and the good news is, it didn't crash the game. 🥳 The bad news is, not what I was looking for lmao.
Like, don't get me wrong. I've seen way worse (the stuff of nightmares) on a modding channel I've been teaching myself this stuff lately, so. It's not like I completely fucked this thing up or anything like that.
It's just... I still gotta ask though.
What went wrong here?
#personal#my mods#(sort of kjdkd)#i was just lamenting this stuff on a fandom discord channel. saying i'm at my wits' end here and about to quit this shit#i tried following a tutorial on a modding channel and i got the whole thing working for the most part#he's sized correctly. animations seem to work. nothing is stretching apart from hair. the textures are all fucked up now but yeah#but because what i'm trying to do here is a little different than what that tutorial does#(they still keep pointing to that very same tutorial though)#it seems that either i did something wrong. maybe i skipped some important part?#(because one answer claimed if it's a model extracted from the same game it doesn't need to be rigged or weight-painted)#but then that video tutorial also says you need to separate some parts so that nothing's stretching etc.#which is obviously a thing that's happening above. that hair is in fact stretching. A LOT#i'm guessing because cloud and zack have different hair. so they must have different hair physics or something#but then. i also learned on that channel that zack doesn't have his own animations. because he's neither playable/non-playable#because he only appears in this one cutscene towards the end of the game. he has his own model and textures though#so i don't know whether that means he doesn't have his own physics either or...?#meaning i probably need to use another model's hair physics as well and somehow transfer them on zack's hair too or smth like that maybe#i don't know. i'm so confused#like i've put so much effort into this. so many retries already. i'm getting sick of the shaders input part actually lmao#and i'm so close but i'm stuck!#i tried asking for help on a modding channel but because my question didn't get answered in a couple of hours i chickened out and deleted i#and now i'm like i need help. i just don't know what i did wrong 🙈 i need strength and courage
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Actually i feel like my voice goals are not that unreasonable since the people i get jealous of the most really are my age or older
......
Well, reasonable though they may be, realistic is another matter
#100% секретный дневник левы НЕ ЧИТАЙ#trans#trans ftm#transmasc#my dad has a pretty deep natural singing voice and SO DO I so i expect i'd end up sounding like him :/#it pisses me off to no end that there's just some innate quality that cis men's voices have that i can't imitate; no matter how low or open#*how low or open i try to push my voice#well - i actually do sort of know because i've stumbled over it a time or two#it's not just keeping like.. the space in your throat open#it's a completely different way of moving your mouth around and it feels a) weird as all hell and b) bad for my jaw somehow?#the unfair part is by the time i feel safe starting hormones it'll be past the window where it's normal to want to sound like that ...#i don't actually have that unusually deep a voice i just .... fucked it up a little i think. for singing anyways.#this too pisses me off cause why do i gotta be Obviously Weird in gender BUT no voice to help that assumption along#i dunno anyways. consult coming up and i CAN pay for it i HAVE the money but hough surgery itself is all up in the air until then#i already know i won't have enough but...... i really could pay it off in about a year#ESPECIALLY if i get either more hours or get commissions#i can do it ... i know i can it's just scary to have the prospect of it all falling down on me#due to the fact that this is my first major medical procedure Ever#and i am soso anxious about money#i mustn't spend on little treats..... even if i can... even if i have more than enough money......
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