#but so often that anger is a way to mask other more vulnerable emotions

[waitineedaname]

when im writing them, i often find myself thinking about the difference between jiang cheng and wei wuxian's anger. im not sure how to put it into words, but the way they both express anger is so interesting to me bc like... for jiang cheng, it tends to be his first response. he's confronted with something unpleasant and the safest response is to be angry and lash out, because then that protects the vulnerability hidden beneath whatever has upset him. his anger tends to be explosive, with shouting and violence, until eventually it ebbs away and the vulnerable emotion underneath is revealed. wei wuxian, however, tends to let it simmer until it eventually boils over. I think about the confrontation with jin zixun about the wens a lot, and how you can see him trying to keep a lid on the anger at first, and how that makes him cold and sharp (which is made all the more striking by how warm he is under better circumstances) until finally he can't keep a lid on it anymore and the anger boils over, which is the point at which you should probably aim to leave his general vicinity because an angry wei wuxian is very, very scary

[fisherrprince]

oh so alisaie’s exaggerated bully behavior is 80% fanon. saying this she casually picks up a large rock

[deartrent]

mum's emotions — taa

summary: pent-up emotions and frustrations as a first-time mom finally surface when you find yourself in the familiar arms of trent

pairing: trent alexander-arnold x fem!reader

notes: my first ever post on here. didn't really come out the way i intended, idrk if i like it, but let me know what you guys think!!

what you felt was wrong. you knew it was wrong on so many levels. you couldn't help but feel the way you did though. seeing trent take care of your baby so naturally, as if he'd experienced being a father before, sparked something inside of you that you didn't know you were capable of feeling. you couldn't tell if it was anger, disappointment or jealousy. all you could think of was how come i carried that baby for 9 months, just to be the worst mother of all time?

trent noticed your frustrations. he could tell when he'd come home from training and you'd greet him coldly or shoot daggers when he'd steal the baby from you, the cries stopping as soon as he held her in his arms, so gently. you were never the type to verbalise your feelings and trent knew not to push you to that point either, but he also knew you were slowly reaching your limit. he wished he could stay home more often to help you out, to take some of the workload off of you, but his schedule didn't allow him to.

"look she smiled," trent turned your daughter to face you, unaware that you had been observing them for the past two minutes. their smiles resembled so much, something you had prayed for way before getting pregnant.

it took everything in you to fake a smile, masking the emptiness you felt inside. trent could sense your mind was racing, your silence speaking louder than words. his heart ached seeing you in this state, reminiscing on the bubbly version of you prior to giving birth.

"she can sense your emotions you know," trent spoke after getting no reaction from you, walking over to where you stood, with your daughter against his chest, "when mum's stressed, she will be too, i read it somewhere." you felt vulnerable as trent towered over you, trying his best to read your facial expressions. you hadn't been too verbal lately, with trent having to rely on body language. he had no clue the reason you hadn't been verbal was the inability to hold in tears whenever trent would try and have a conversation about anything baby related. instead of confiding in him, you chose to distance yourself.

you didn't know how much longer you could hold everything in though, and without a single warning, you felt your eyes well up, a burning sensation confirming that your tear-filled eyes had turned bloodshot red by now. trent was caught off guard, not knowing what to do next. this was the first time you'd shown a different emotion than anger and annoyance since the baby had arrived.

trent's first instinct was to put the baby down on the playmat, before engulfing you into an embrace you didn't realise you needed until your face sunk into trent's chest, the all too familiar scent and sense of warmth, comfort and security washing over you. you sobbed into his shirt, his large hands caressing your back as he tried soothing you.

"please talk to me babe, tell me what's on your mind," trent begged and for the first time since bringing your daughter home, you thought of trent, instead of yourself. you thought about how he must've felt, being a first time parent himself and having to deal with taking care of the baby on one hand, but on the other hand having to deal with an angry, irritated girlfriend, not knowing what exactly is going on because you simply did not communicate with him. you could only imagine how scary and lonely it must have been for him.

"i just need a break," you sobbed, barely audible but you knew if anyone would understand you, it would be trent. "i don't know what i'm doing, i don't know if i'm feeding her correctly, i don't know if i'm dressing her warm enough, all she does is cry and i have no idea what she wants. i'm just a shit mother, i wasn't made for this." you took the opportunity to dump all of your frustrations.

"stop, don't say that," trent pried you off of him to create a little distance as he held your face with both hands, wiping away your tears with his thumbs, "you're doing great, i promise. she's alive, she's healthy, that means you're doing a good job." trent tried reassuring you, your breath shaky from all the sobbing. "she's crying, because she senses your emotions," you melted into trent's hands, the eyes you were so in love with fixated on yours, making your surroundings disappear, "she just wants you to be happy, we both do." guilt was the next thing you felt.

you felt guilty because you'd left trent in the dark, taking your frustrations out on him, while all he wanted to do was help, "i'm so exhausted trent, i can't remember last time i slept a full night," you continued your rant, "i miss just cuddling with you and not be interrupted," you could see the corner of trent's lips turn upwards, igniting the same warm, fuzzy feeling you'd been feeling ever since the first day you'd met; the one thing that hadn't changed since the birth of your baby. trent placed a gentle kiss on your forehead, before placing your head on his chest once more, "you know, i have a day off tomorrow, i can ask my mum to babysit and we could just stay in bed all day," trent suggested, earning a chuckle from you.

you could feel trent's heart beat against your temple and as you further sunk into his arms, you realised just how blessed you really were. you couldn't imagine having a baby with anyone other than trent, the idea of building a family with him easing your mind. he was everything you wanted and from the moment you told him you were pregnant, you knew that you and your baby were in safe hands. and that was all that mattered.

"i would love that," you looked up, pressing your lips to his luscious ones in a kiss you didn't know you craved.

[yoonavii]

Never popped a request to anyone via tumblr before but ahhh I loved your most recent Sanji fic so much. You're so talented ❤️

If you ever feel inspired, what about something where Sanji joins the crew, and sees how close reader and Zoro are (whether or not Zoro actually does have feelings for reader, idk!), and he gets jealous, until some event or fight and the reader shows how she cares for him and it all comes out in the open

(love me a bit of angst!)

Thank you!!🥺 and Welp, I’m inspired!! I tried my best with this one cause I’ve been a little dusty with angst lately so I apologize in advance. Hope you still enjoy it though!

Jealous

OPLA! Sanji x Reader

After the tumultuous events at the Baratie, Sanji officially joined the Straw Hat Pirates as their skilled cook. Initially, he was thrilled to be part of the crew, living his dream of sailing the Grand Line with an extraordinary group of individuals. However, as the days turned into weeks, he couldn’t help but notice something that gnawed at his heart – your growing closeness to Zoro.

On the surface, it was an inseparable bond formed through countless adventures, battles, and shared moments. You and Zoro seemed like kindred spirits, and it was clear to everyone that you had each other’s backs. They trained together, sparred together, and sometimes, they even spent hours talking about their dreams late into the night.

For Sanji, it was painful to watch. He had harbored deep feelings for you but never found the courage to express them. Instead, he masked his emotions with jealousy, believing that you and Zoro shared a connection that he could never hope to replicate.

As the crew continued their journey, heading toward the tumultuous waters of the conomi islands to save Nami, the tension between Sanji and Zoro escalated. Their arguments, once subtle jabs, had evolved into full-blown conflicts, often ending in physical confrontations. The crew couldn’t ignore the rift growing between them, and their division was affecting their performance in battles.

One day, as the crew faced off against the Fish-Men on the foreboding Arlong Park, the simmering animosity between Sanji and Zoro reached its boiling point. The battlefield became a stage for their pent-up anger to explode. Swords clashed against kicks, and fists met with blades in a cacophony of violence. You, exhausted from fighting alongside your bickering crewmates, couldn’t take it any longer. With adrenaline coursing through your veins, you stepped boldly between Sanji and Zoro, ignoring the danger of the ongoing battle. “Enough!” you roared, your voice cutting through the chaos. “We can’t afford to be divided like this, especially in a battle like this one!”

Sanji and Zoro froze, their faces flushed with anger, but they both turned their attention to you. Your presence had an immediate calming effect. You took a deep breath, then continued, “Sanji, Zoro, we’re a crew. We’re a family. And I can’t stand to see you two at odds like this.” Sanji’s expression softened as he listened intently to your words. You took a step closer to him, your voice quivering slightly with vulnerability. “Sanji, you should know that I care about you deeply. It’s not just about Zoro and me. I want us all to be close and support each other. If it’s causing you pain, then let’s find a way to work through it.”

Sanji’s heart raced as he absorbed your confession. He never expected to hear those words from you. Slowly, he nodded, a faint smile playing at the corners of his lips. “I… I feel the same way y/n. I was just being stupidly jealous.” You reached out and placed a hand on his cheek, your touch gentle and reassuring. “Let’s put this behind us, Sanji. We can be together as a crew, as friends, and as something more, if you want.”

With the tension diffused, Sanji and Zoro exchanged a begrudging nod of understanding. The three of you returned to the battle, but this time, there was a newfound unity among the Straw Hat Pirates. While they hadn’t completely resolved their differences, they had taken the first steps toward mutual respect, recognizing that they each had their unique strengths and weaknesses. The bonds of the crew were stronger than ever, and as you fought side by side, you couldn’t help but smile, knowing that you had mended a broken heart and solidified the crew’s unbreakable spirit.

As the sun set on Arlong Park, a feeling of hope and reconciliation washed over the crew. Sanji and Zoro had begun to understand that their differences could be complementary rather than divisive, and with your support, they would continue to grow and adapt as a unified crew. The journey continued, marked by a deeper sense of camaraderie, love, and acceptance, proving that even in the face of jealousy and conflict, the bonds of friendship could prevail and grow stronger.

©𝐘𝐎𝐎𝐍𝐀𝐕𝐈𝐈— Any sign/evidence of plagiarism made from outside this name will be dealt with by whatever means necessary. Legal action may occur if non fanfiction works are plagiarized.

[goodoldfashionedengineer]

Jason & Anger

Ever since his comeback as the Red Hood, people have started associating Jason with the word "angry", sometimes even before that.

But the anger he felt before his death is different to the one he shows now.

Robin!Jason is angry when he is met wit injustice and its perpetrator. You lie to him, he's going to be angry with you, a rogue killed someone close to him, he is going to be angry with them. It is righteous anger, but also hurt. Sometimes for himself, sometimes for victims.

And Jason still carries around that type of anger with him.

But writers have written him more and more as explosive and destructive. But other times, it is very calculated, like in Red Hood : Lost Days.

Jason was never one to hide his anger, but it is the main emotion he lets others see.

So why anger specifically? Why not sadness, despair, hopelessness?

For that, we need to take a look at anger itself.

Often, anger is just a mask for other feelings. Like hurt or betrayal. It os a mask so we don't have to feel as weak.

Sadness or Depression even, leaves you with this emptiness. This nothingness. It sucks everything from you. It establishes itself as a parasite where you're unable to distinguish if it is you who is thinking those things, or if it is depression.

It leaves you weak and vulnerable and it feels like it has control over you instead of the other way around.

So, how does anger compare to that?

Anger feels more like a friend. Sometimes a false friend, sure, but its company leaves you with so much power. Power you feel like you are missing. Anger can be so great, it causes us to hurt people, even those we love. And there might be instances for which you won't feel guilty for lashing out. When sadness shows you how powerless you are in this world, anger will tell you that you can do whatever you want.

It gives you control.

And for a character that had so little control in his life, as he had to experience one tragedy after another, when he cannot even trust the woman who birthed him and he can't disable a bomb because his hands are that damaged, it is no surprise that anger became a constant in his life.

Because what would happen if it wasn't? Where would that leave him? What truths would he have to accept?

[abby118]

I wanted your opinion on reading Thor's body language on Loki, with the touch of his hand on his neck. I have seen that when the touch is made on the back of the neck (Thor does it slightly more laterally) it is said to mean: I control and tame, the one who touches establishes himself as a guide, often influencing the choices and opinions of others. therefore it does not have a necessarily negative meaning, but it is not exactly a gesture that indicates closeness, friendship or reassurance. in fact it seems to mirror the dynamic we see between thor and loki. what do you think?

Thor is definitely more expressive and specifically more reactive than Loki and that partially comes down to his personality as well as the environment and position he was raised in.

People often wonder about the neck touching and to that I say, what do you do when you're an expressive person that conveys their emotions through touch? You touch someone and you do so in a way that they can notice and feel.

Loki is heavily armoured, as are the majority of Asgard's men (now, we won't count Thor here because he hates wearing his sleeves but generally, he would belong to this category as well). If you touch someone who's wearing layers of leather, fabric, metal and whatever materials make up the armour, they will not feel a thing. That is why he goes for the only spot that's not covered - as the fandom used to call it back in the day, 'the infamous Asgardian "insert blade here" neckline'.

But of course, that is not all, it's never that simple. I assume you mean the scene in The Avengers when they first meet on Midgard so I will talk about that one first.

In this particular instance, I did not read it as anything other than Thor trying desperately to make a point whilst lacking the emotional ability to do so in a way that Loki needed. He's the kind of person that tries to solve the problem first and deal with the aftermant and the emotions later. Hence, why the first thing he said to his brother after not having seen him for a year after his attempted suicide was a question about the tesseract's location. I would argue this doesn't mean Thor did not care; I think he really did but he didn't know how to show it + there was a problem that needed a solution first.

Thor and Loki's personalities are polar opposites; Loki is the strategist, he's perceptive and does have the emotional intelligence Thor lacks. Thor, on the other hand, acts before anything else, he deals with the consequences later, he is not the most observant and he hides behind this cheery mask that is supposed to conceal any signs of vulnerability because in Asgard, that is seen as a major weakness. I'm not even sure he, himself, knows it's a mask; we do see both of them repressing emotions which again, is a result of their world's culture with the added pressure of their position as Asgard's heirs.

So yes, I think he tried to show Loki he wanted him back and that he cared but he completely screwed it up with the way he went about it. I do not blame Loki for how he responded to that in the situation and circumstances he was in.

+ it was very much also a 'I see you‚ look at me‚ I see you' because Thor never looked at him before. He took his presence for granted.

However, fast foreward to Thor The Dark World, we see a clearer display of how Thor's frustration manifests which tends to be aggression and similar to what you're getting at. He is impulsive and has problems dealing with his anger which we already saw in the previous movies. This all culminated in the interaction on the skiff in Svartalfheim but before that, he broke Loki out of prison.

Obviously, he was trying to convince himself (and Loki) that he did not care about him anymore and that his plan was unrelated to their relation. Deep down, both of them knew that was not true but that's a different topic.

When he broke him out and Loki was having his annoying younger sibling moment, Thor shut him up by covering his mouth and slamming him onto the pillar to avoid the two Einherjar seeing them. Some might argue that was normal because he needed him to be quiet fast but I say that was him finding an opportunity to release his frustration with Loki and their relationship in general.

This has been brought up before, but that moment almost looked like kidnapping which, in a way, it was. Loki did agree to go but he was still a prisoner and essentially threatened.

But then again, it is almost childish and reminiscent of an exaggerated version of their relationship. I won't repeat any more of the points on this but I recomment you read this because I agree with some of the things stated here. (screenshotting in case the link breaks)

[sanslovesblog]

Unraveling Madness: San's Dark Secrets Pt. 2

Summary: You're a brilliant psychiatrist, but you were no stranger to internal conflicts. You had accepted the task of treating Choi San, the psychiatric ward's most dangerous patient due to his violent episodes. Despite skepticism from other staff members, you believed that beneath his destructive exterior lay a vulnerable human being, yearning for understanding and acceptance.

Trigger warning: mentions of harming others, self harm, trauma

Teaser | Master list | Part 3

As Dr. Y/n entered the therapy room, she noticed Choi San sitting in one of the armchairs, his gaze fixed on the door. The air was heavy with anticipation, and she knew that today would be different. She closed the door behind her, the sound echoing through the room like a silent declaration of intent.

"Today, we're going to talk about something new," she began, taking a seat opposite him. "We're going to explore your past traumas, the events that shaped you into the person you are today."

Choi San stared at her, his face a stoic mask hiding his innermost feelings. "Why do you care so much? Everyone else has given up on me. Why should you be any different?"

Dr. Y/n paused, considering her response carefully. "Because I believe there's more to you than just the violence. I see a complex individual struggling to cope with their past." She paused, allowing her words to sink in. "It's my hope that together, we can uncover the root causes of your pain and find a way to heal them."

Choi San studied her carefully, his expression guarded but hinting at vulnerability. "You really think you can make a difference?" He asked quietly, his voice barely audible.

"Yes," she replied firmly, her resolve unwavering.

"I truly believe that we can make a difference in your life. But it all depends on you – whether you're willing to trust me enough to share your deepest fears and pains."

Choi San watched her closely, his eyes tracing every subtle movement of her face. There was something in her gaze that resonated within him, stirring long-dormant feelings of connection and understanding. It wasn't pity or sympathy he saw reflected in her eyes, but genuine empathy and a desire to help. And somehow, that small glimmer of hope reassured him that perhaps things could change.

You continued to delve deeper int Choi San's childhood, hoping to uncover more about the root causes of his violent behavior. "What's your relationship with your parents?" You asked him. Choi San hesitated for a moment before describing his father as a strict and demanding man who expected nothing short of perfection from him. "My father would often physically abuse me if I didn't meet his standards, leaving me with bruises and scars" he said looking down, clenching his fists as his voice cracks with emotion.

Despite this, Choi San still felt a sense of loyalty and duty towards his father, as if he were the only one who truly understood him. As the sessions progressed, you began to see a pattern in the way Choi San dealt with his emotions. He would internalize his pain and anger, often taking it out on himself in the form of self-harm. "Instead of harming yourself, let's try a different approach" you added. You decided to approach the subject differently. Instead of focusing on the negative aspects of his past, you encouraged Choi San to express his emotions through art therapy.

You gave him a set of paints, canvas, and other art supplies, and asked him to create something that represented how he felt inside. At first, Choi San was skeptical, but as he began to paint, he found himself pouring all of his anger and sadness onto the canvas. The more he painted, the more cathartic the experience became.

[rimeiii]

Random demon HCs (SFW)

Eyo, it's your girl, the one WHB poster who's interested in this game for all the wrong reasons with something non-gameplay related for once! Part of what definitely interests me is the demons in general and how they'll play off with each other + the MC. Doesn't even have to be related to the sexy stuff - some of these demons I feel have the potential to have interesting and complex dynamics with each other, particularly the Avisos demons!

So, um. Yeah. Enjoy my brainrot-

(Also I will be particularly biased towards the demons who've caught my eye. Refer to tier list below. So, um. Yeah. Sorry about that orz)

I feel like out of all the demons in Hell, Belial would be the one most attuned to music. He'd be the one to replay songs again and again, probably wearing noise-cancelling headphones so that he'll truly be immersed in the music. He probably used to love singing as a child, so when his voice was taken away, he was completely and utterly devastated. To compensate, he'd take up an instrument (like an acoustic guitar) or learn how to compose, so that at least he can express his love for music and performance...

Gusion desperately wants to cut down on work, but it's hard. He spends countless days and nights just going around solving problems - and there's an abundance of them in Hell. Honestly, he thought of creating systems to help streamline his work and problem-solving shenanigans, but holy shit everyone just loves wrecking those too, huh. After calculating and approximating the time and effort required to perform his duties, merely solving issues as they crop up is the more effective and less tiring solution to everything. Which is saying something, when that in itself is already tiring as fuck.

Leviathan is a gentleman, through and through. Cool, calm, and collected on the outside, he practically perfected the art of hiding away his negative emotions behind a charming smile and a no-nonsense attitude on the battlefield. The only people able to pry away his emotions from beneath the mask are his fellow kings, the demons of Hades, and eventually MC. And even then, he'll only be able to show his most vulnerable sides to his nobles and, again, MC (eventually). It's hard to win his trust and openness, what with his jealousy often getting in the way of him forming healthy relationships with others.

Beelzebub is actually a pretty bad cook. Like, Mystery Food X levels of bad - at least, starting out. Now, though? Well, the people who said they enjoyed his cooking have somehow deluded themselves to think it's good before the side effects kick in. Does it have hallucinogenic properties? Is it a side effect of Beelzebub's tendency to have weird things happen around him? Or perhaps he really did improve on his cooking? Who knows...who knows.

Naberius and Gusion are the perfect drinking buddies. They'd get together at a random pub somewhere in Hell when they have the time, and they'll spend their time getting buzzed while unloading everything weighing them down at the moment. Honestly, this started as an effort to help Naberius - letting out his emotions bit by bit to ensure everyone's safety is much more preferable than letting his anger and annoyance explode to an extent he becomes a Kerberos. Sometimes, they'll be joined by Bael, although rarely as he is standing in for Beelzebub. More often, Satan shows up and chats with them, as amiable as always - and they end up being his main listening ears if he needs to vent. Satan's secrets are always safe with them, and for that, he is forever thankful.

Leraye and Paimon often make things together! The former has a knack for sewing, while the latter has a lot of ideas for clothes and stuffed toys! Working together, they'd be able to create a large variety of trendy clothing and cute plush toys.

I know a lot of people HC this but yes, Marbas would be a gentle giant. While he's aroused by being restrained, I'd like to think the reason why he's always restrained is because something bad happened while he was doing something while not being restrained. Perhaps he accidentally killed someone with his sheer strength, during a more "daily life" scenario. While his strength is his pride, his ability to heal is a larger source of pride for him - which is why he agrees with the notion that putting restraints on him is for the best.

Sitri is a tea connoisseur! He likes tea, knows which tea leaves are the best, how to make specific blends of tea, how long each tea needs to steep in order to bring out a specific sort of flavor...and among the demons in Hell, there are few who can appreciate the finer details in tea brewing like him. Some of these demons include Barbatos (surprisingly enough), Foras, Bael, Bathin, and Paimon. They regularly get together to sample his teas!

Whenever Bathin wants someone to accompany him in his travels, Amon often takes him up on his offer. They'll wander around without any prior destination, dealing with problems that crop up during their travels along the way. They both live in the moment while traveling, letting the winds dictate where they'll head to next. Amon deals with most of the logistics of travel while Bathin would focus more on finding and learning about the points of interest wherever they end up. An MC who enjoys traveling would love being travel buddies with them!

Mammon's way of showing his affection is gift-giving. Though his gifts might come across as overboard sometimes. Because what do you mean he already sent over some more jewels your way? Nobody needs that many jewels, sir! Either way, Tartaros is a prospering land purely because of the many treasures Mammon gives away to his people. Whether or not these overflowing treasures gets sent off to other areas is a different story entirely.

Andrealphus would be the most sympathetic towards MC, I feel. He knows how it feels to lose someone you care about deeply, to have your life ripped away from you in an instant. He had already been in that position a long time ago, and it would greatly please him if MC would let him support them any way he can - up to and including sticking by their side to protect them.

Out of all the demons in Paradise Lost, I feel like Morax would be the one most versed in the logistics involving healing and first aid. Which is understandable - his method of healing involves transferring his patient's wounds onto him in the form of pain. As a result, he'll have to be able to gauge just how far into the healing process he should perform with his abilities - especially on the battlefield. He'd have his nose buried in books during his free time just so he can increase his healing efficacy.

[the-nado-hunter]

Random Hetalia character head cannons/hc histories and characterizations that float in my brain but I’ve never written down - starting with England, America and Germany since I’ve thought about them the most lol:

England:

- Was the reverse of Alfred where he actually physically and emotionally aged much slower than most nations. He was barely not a teenager when he first took in Alfred (and his other “kids” by extension) when he was not at all ready/had even fully matured himself.

- I have a hc that nations who “get too big” (meaning the territory under their name grows) they kind of lose themselves and get less distinct and coherent in their motivations and sometimes don’t feel themselves at all, too many voices in their head so to speak. Unfortunately Arthur “lost it” during a pivotal part of his relationship with his family, hence all his strained relationships.

- Once he took on those responsibilities he suddenly jumped in physical age a bit. So while Alfred sees him as being SO much older (calling him an old man) his time in the nation equivalence of life stages was uneven and all over the place.

- it wouldn’t be until the 60s/70s/80s that Arthur had the time and ability to “make up for lost time” hence his musical and punk phases. He finds himself in some ways.., also likely dissolves into addiction problems at the same time.

- In the modern era he still has many anger issues but he’s a lot more calm and sure of himself, however he’s got a built up emotional wall and a whole lot of hidden self hatred that’s going to take a long long time to resolve, and he isn’t quite there yet and tends to lash out and push people away rather than deal with things.

America:

- He was very sheltered by Arthur at first, he was kept out of almost everything for most of his early life. If Arthur wasn’t present (which he often wasn’t due to the two having vastly different understandings of the passing of time) there were people hired and cycled out to take care of him. He can’t help himself though, even if he’s being treated like a sheltered little prince he wants to go run free in the fields and get into shit. He’s basically a Disney princess in his early life is what I’m saying lol.

- reality hits him like a ton of bricks when he’s roughly looking/acting about 14-15. He realizes likely through being exposed to other nations starting to come in and managing to slip out to talk to people just how much has been hidden from him and the resentment grows. And he starts REALLY growing even faster.

- Despite all that he went full on into a “fight” coping mechanism and never stopped. He put on a “mask” at one point in his life and it hasn’t come off. He’s never really deeply dealt with anything so he progressively seems more and more obtuse and seemingly arrogant to overcompensate for not wanting to face any sort of pain.

- He’s deeply deeply lonely and desperately wants closeness and to open up- yet at the same time the idea of seeming “weak” or “vulnerable” is terrifying to him. Him and Arthur are more similar than they would like to admit with how they mask and push people away despite really REALLY needing love and closeness.

Germany:

- it depends on if you accept the “Germany is HRE” theory or not, but either way I tend to think they at least have the same body but might be different entities or ‘spirits’ so to speak. That being said I imagine Ludwig specifically not only was “born” into a body that was preexisting and therefore already past a decent part of childhood, I imagine that his body was at first incredibly weak, frail, and he was very sickly for quite some time.

- I’ve written a fic about this, but I personally hc Ludwig from about 6-15 years old in appearance being almost completely unable to walk and needing braces and assistance to get around. His brother obviously loves and cares about him, but Ludwig couldn’t help but feel frustrated and like a burden. He really does look up to his big brother and is worried about being weak and reliant on others for the rest of his life.

- Ludwig GETS his strength, and as soon as he’s able to walk on his on he becomes obsessed with being as strong and capable as he possibly can be. He wants to never have to rely on anyone again, feeling an odd sense of guilt for needing so much help.

- he’s, in the end… kind of socially inept. Gilbert isn’t exactly the pinnacle of a socialized man himself - So despite being mostly independent and capable he doesn’t really understand social situations, or how to understand himself and others. Feliciano is both jarring and someone I think he becomes interested in him because Feli is capable in something he never has been and really is teaching him a lot.

- Unfortunately Ludwig had in face overcompensated for his past feelings of being a burden he’s taken so much on and has become such a protector that he’s almost unable to set boundaries and say no to requests to take on extra work- malicious or not.

- we already know Ludwig tends to explode and bark directions at people, to me it’s always been a clear sign of how much stress he’s under- but he winds up just appearing scary and he once again takes on more responsibilities and feelings of “something must be wrong with me”.

- i think many in the fandom have joked about it but Ludwig to me is SO repressed and SO gay it’s not even funny

-I would expect poor Ludwig to hit a breaking point and have a nervous breakdown eventually, which I do want to write at some point, just gotta not procrastinate lol

[bugflies00]

roman is like ctommy because they're both loud and brash and prideful and the designated comic relief and they so often end up insulting people without even meaning to and they have a strong sense of honour/right&wrong and they want to save everyone and they have a very complicated relationship with the role of the "hero" - one's put into it without ever asking for it and suffers its consequences, the other desperately wants to reach that ideal because he thinks he's worthless otherwise - and they have a hard time being recognised when they express emotions cause they're the designated funnyman so more often than not their problems are played off as a bit. they're also both adhd coded

roman is like cwilbur because they both feel like they have to put on a performance to talk to people and to deserve to exist because they've repressed so much of their inner self it feels like second nature to put on a mask - in fact they feel vulnerable whenever someone goes "off script" and doesn't react the way they expect them to, that is, with anger/rejection etc. the "hero" thing comes back up except it's more in the sense that they both cling strongly to narrative roles as a way to understand themselves and others, and when people inevitably reveal themselves to be more complicated than that, it throws their whole worldview off and sends them on a spiral. and god forbid when they stray from their self assigned role- that's an even worse spiral, and in the case of cwilbur the self-reassignment of another role, the villain. and they both create out of a very strong passion and idealism and they cling to their creations, so when they don't work or they're rejected or it blows up in their face (literally) it destroys them because they attach so much of their self worth to what they're capable of creating and it feels like one of the only expressions of their true selves given how much they act out a role simply existing

[zodiactalks]

How Each Zodiac Sign Deals with SADNESS

Sadness is one of those emotions we'd rather not feel.

No matter how honest we are about our feelings, or how self-aware we are, sadness has a way of surprising us and enveloping us when we least expect it.

While a perfectly normal part of the human experience, sadness has a way of bringing out our worst qualities, and we all react to it differently.

There are a few commonalities in how we tackle this unpleasant emotion, though, which is why today we'll be talking about the signs and sadness.

Let's get started!

Aries

It all depends on whether Aries has an appropriate conduit for their emotions or not.

When they lack an outlet, Aries's sadness transforms into anger, which they use against everyone around them at the slightest provocation.

When they have an outlet –be it in the form of exercise or a craft– then they'll pour all their negative emotions into it, transforming them into something productive.

Regardless of what they do, though, one thing remains constant: Arians refuse to acknowledge their sadness and will avoid it at all costs.

To cope with sadness in a healthy way, Arians need to conquer their fear of vulnerability and explore their negative emotions.

Taurus

Tauruses tend to be couch potatoes who enjoy outside activities only on their terms, so when they're experiencing sadness, it's not surprising that they double down on this.

A sad Taurus is a Taurus that will indulge in creature comforts while isolating themselves from others; They'll binge eat while binge-watching Netflix, and will reject social activities that they might've loved to participate in at any other point.

While they're not opposed to acknowledging their sadness, they can easily be consumed by the things they do to feel better, so they should be careful about that.

The best way of doing this is attempting to stick to a routine, no matter how unpleasant the idea may be, as this will provide the kind of stability a sad Taurus needs.

Gemini

Because they're always eager to please others and are often the ones making other people laugh, they're not particularly good at feeling sad.

In fact, they take it very hard.

A sad Gemini will become even more of an overthinker, focusing on the thoughts that made them sad, and feeling worse and worse in return.

Luckily, this approach to sadness comes with its solution: It's okay to overthink things, as long as you let those emotions out.

Writing, filming a vlog, even just chatting with a friend. As long as Gemini shares their feelings, they'll be able to get over their funk.

Cancer

Cancer's sadness is obvious and difficult to ignore, particularly when you're not a Cancer yourself.

Sad cancers become clingier and needier than usual, requiring constant reassurance and emotional support.

When they feel sad, it's not uncommon for Cancers to feel like they're not good enough, which makes them cling to their friends, which can be annoying to them, which in turn makes Cancer feel guilty and even sadder.

While the urge to be close to those they love is understandable, the best way for Cancer to deal with sadness is to distract themselves from the feelings of inadequacy by doing something that keeps their minds off things.

Arts and crafts serve the double purpose of distracting Cancer and leaving them with a little token they can gift to people supporting them through their sadness.

Leo

While Leo's don't make a conscious effort to mask their sadness, it tends to morph into stress.

A sad Leo is a theatrical Leo, someone who'll blow small things out of proportion and will react to even the slightest inconvenience as if it was the worst thing in the world.

They're unafraid of facing and acknowledging their sadness, but unless they have someone to confide in, they'll struggle to get through the negative feelings without feeling overwhelmed.

For Leo, the best course of action is to surrender their pride and allow themselves to be vulnerable with others for however long it takes to feel better.

Virgo

Virgos deal with sadness by multiplying every aspect of their personality in a way that rarely makes them look good in the eyes of others.

They'll become self-absorbed and blunt, will overthink even more than usual, and will simply stop considering other people's feelings while dealing with their own.

While these compulsive behaviors will scare away people, even those who want to stick around to lend a hand. Virgo is lucky in the sense that to improve, they need to tackle their sadness head-on and reflect on that rather than distracting themselves with other thoughts.

Apologizing to others after lashing out and hurting them is also the way to go, as it's harder to deal with guilt on top of sadness.

Libra

Always wishing to maintain a semblance of balance, sad Libras will attempt to put on a happy face for others, even if they're dying on the inside.

When alone, they'll be moody and lethargic, and once the effort to appear happy and unbothered becomes too much, they might shun social interactions altogether.

The healthiest thing Libra can do, thus, is to stop pretending to be okay for the comfort of others and lean into friends and loved ones for comfort and reassurance.

Scorpio

Though they might wish for support and understanding, a sad Scorpio will lash out and attack those who attempt to comfort them.

Scorpios always try to portray themselves as strong and capable, so when they feel weak and vulnerable, they prefer to hide and lick their wounds in peace.

Forcing themselves to socialize with others is counterproductive, so Scorpio should focus on spending time with only those they want to see.

Sagittarius

Sagittarians look for sources of escapism, be they positive or negative.

When sad, they run the risk of abusing substances to stop thinking about that sadness, and they become even more withdrawn and intolerant than usual.

They have everything they need to get over their sadness on their own, but to do so they need to actively work on it rather than escape.

Capricorn

Sad Capricorns fall into what can only be described as a robotic mindset.

They'll go through the motions of their day-to-day life, but will be disinterested and detached from the whole experience.

While the loss of inspiration will be challenging, continuing to do passion projects is a sure way of getting Capricorn out of their funk.

Aquarius

Aquarians, take sadness very harshly because they hate the feeling.

They'll attempt to appear happy in the hopes of feeling happy, but the truth is that, when they're sad, they can only feel numb and disinterested.

This numbness is often an attempt to protect themselves from negative feelings, so daring to tackle them head-on is the best way of improving.

Pisces

Pisces are sensitive signs by nature and they become even more sensitive when they're sad.

A sad Pisces will obsess over whatever is making them sad, which will unleash a spiral of sadness they won't be able to get out without conscious effort.

In order to improve, Pisces will have to work on getting out of the spiral or, better yet, not falling into it, to begin with.

[sequinsmile-x]

Hey!

I was wondering, would you ever consider writing a fic where Aaron and Emily experience a miscarriage but where Aaron’s feelings are shown? Because in most fics that I’ve read about pregnancy loss, it always focuses more on Em’s feelings, which is understandable as it impacts her the most (and I know in real life, it is always harder for the mother)

But I feel like it would be nice to explore Aaron’s feelings because I just know he would try to hide how he feels and how upset he is to support Emily because he knows she needs it and that she needs him to be strong for her. But I would love to see Aaron finally showing his feelings about the situation and him showing his vulnerable side to Em and how heartbroken he is about the situation and Emily maybe comforting him

hiii bestie!! Of course <3

Also, when I wrote this I realised I rarely write about Aaron being emotional like this, so it's a little outside of my comfort zone. I really hope it's in character and would love to know what you all think!

-x-

Lost at Sea - Part Two

He feels an all too familiar sensation wash over him, the sense of relief that everything was ok quickly turning into sadness, the reality of what they had lost earlier in the year finally hitting him in full force. 

-x-

Words: 2.7k

Warnings: Major themes of miscarriage

Read over on Ao3, or below the cut

He’d always been told that he was emotionless. That he was too serious. His stern expressions and practicality often mistaken for lack of care, and it had become an easy mask to hide behind, the truth buried deep within his chest under lock and key. A type of self-protection that had saved his life countless times. 

It was something he’d learnt to do when he was young, his father's rage dissipating whenever he saw he wasn’t getting a reaction out of his young son, and it was far too late to undo it now. It was automatic, something as easy as breathing, and most of the time Aaron wasn’t even aware he was doing it. 

It used to drive Haley crazy, especially when they argued. She’d always been prone to reacting sharply, her emotions getting the better of her as she said things she’d later apologise for, her frustration at him only increasing as he kept his cool. His voice and facial expressions even as he tried to explain his side. He wished every day that it hadn’t taken her dying for him to finally let it all out. His anger coming out in his fists as he beat Foyet beyond recognition. His love escaping in the tears that landed in her hair as he held her. The guilt he still felt to this day driving him to raise their son as she would have wanted. 

Emily was much more similar to him when it came to her emotions. She compartmentalised so well that it put his ability to do so to shame. Their childhoods were vastly different, but their outcomes had been the same - both of them afraid to express their emotions in case there were consequences. It was something that had initially made them friends. The fact they understood each other more deeply than the others could, well aware that what someone else might mistake for coldness was merely a defence mechanism born out of circumstance. 

It meant that they trusted each other and confided in each other. Each of them willing to crack their own facades just enough for the other to peek through. 

When they got together, his support for her after she returned from Paris slowly morphing into more, any pretence that they weren’t each other’s safe space fell away. They looked after each other. They never pushed each other. And they loved each other in the way that they had both always deserved. 

He feels his wife squeeze his hand and it drags him out of his thoughts. He smiles encouragingly at her from his seat next to the bed she was laying in. She smiles back, although it shakes, her anxiety written all over her face. 

“Everything will be fine no matter what, ok?” He says gently, his eyes flicking over to her doctor who was sitting patiently on Emily’s other side. 

Emily nods sharply and clears her throat, “Yeah,” she replies, her lips set in a firm line. 

“Ok, Emily,” the doctor says, smiling kindly, “Would you mind lifting up your shirt and we’ll have a look at your baby.” 

Emily does as she’s told with the hand that isn’t clasped around his, her pants already unbuttoned and loosened, “At least I get to keep my pants on for this one,” she jokes, her voice shaking. 

Aaron chuckles lightly and the doctor joins in, “It was still very early when I saw you a few weeks ago, baby should be much bigger now,” she grabs the bottle of gel, “This will be cold.” 

He watches as his wife doesn’t even flinch as the doctor squeezes the gel onto her skin. Emily’s eyes are fixed on the ceiling, staring straight up as she breathes out a slow breath. 

It had been 8 months since her miscarriage. At first, she’d been completely hesitant to try again having convinced herself that this was something that simply wasn’t going to happen for them. As she got more used to the grief that now had permanent residence in both of their chests, she started talking about it again as something they would do. A child of their own an inevitability, and the sense of hope that had surrounded them before the ultrasound that had changed everything slowly returned. 

As soon as she fell pregnant again her anxiety returned in full force. He felt it himself. The grief and emotions he’d expertly pushed down and locked away since she’d lost the baby so he could look after her, threatening to break free. 

It was her 12-week appointment, the same one where they had found out about the miscarriage last time, and Emily was as nervous as he had ever seen her. She couldn’t even hide it if she tried, her emotional control ravaged by pregnancy hormones and exhaustion, so any worries he had were pushed to the back of his mind as he assured her that everything would be fine no matter what happened. 

“Let’s see what baby is up to,” the doctor says, and Emily closes her eyes, screwing them shut tightly as if she can’t bring herself to look at the screen. He raises their joint hands to his lips and kisses her knuckles, keeping his eyes on her as the doctor presses buttons, the clicking sound loud in the otherwise quiet room, “And there it is.”

It’s the happiness in her voice, a complete contrast to when she’d softly told them something was wrong last time, that makes them both look at her, both of them drawing in stilted breaths as they look at the screen. 

“Is that…” Emily’s voice trails off, tears running down from her eyes into her ears, “It’s ok?” 

The doctor nods and smiles at her, “Everything looks perfect,” she confirms, “And,” she flicks a switch and a loud wooshing noise that he recognises from when Haley was pregnant with Jack fills the room, “Everything sounds perfect too.” 

Emily chokes on a laugh, the sound catching in her throat as she turns to look at him, her eyes shining, “The baby’s ok,” she chokes out. 

He leans down to kiss her, the salt of her tears against his lips, and he smiles, breathing slowly as he pulls away. 

“Everything’s ok,” he says, smiling at her, “I love you.” 

“I love you too,” she replies, looking back at the screen and addressing the doctor, “Can you print some pictures?” She chuckles, wiping her cheeks with her hand

The doctor replies, but their conversation fades out as Aaron continues to look at the screen, his eyes fixed on the flicker of the heartbeat of their baby. He starts to picture them, everything he’d thought about for weeks, months, finally coming into full focus. A little girl who was the double of his wife but with his temperament, or a little boy who looked just like him but was wild like his mother. 

He feels an all too familiar sensation wash over him, the sense of relief that everything was ok quickly turning into sadness, the reality of what they had lost earlier in the year finally hitting him in full force. 

___

Emily groans as she wakes up, blinking to clear her blurry eyes as she sits up, totally unaware that she had fallen asleep on the couch. 

“You are sucking the life out of me,” she murmurs, her hand pressing into her belly, “You’re totally worth it though. So just…stay where you are.” 

The relief that everything was ok with the baby was palpable, thrumming through her veins ever since the doctor let them listen to the heartbeat. Emily knew that there was a long way to go, that she would still have days where the anxiety would feel overwhelming, but right now she was as happy as she had been in a long time. Joy and hope that she hadn’t felt since she was pregnant the first time easing the tightness in her chest that had been present for weeks. She stands up and stretches, chuckling to herself as her stomach gurgles. It felt as if she kept going back and forth between being so nauseous she couldn’t imagine ever eating again and being so hungry she could cry. 

She currently felt the latter. 

Jack was with Jessica and Roy for the weekend, a camping trip he’d been looking forward to, and they were finally going to tell him he was going to be a big brother when he got home. In the meantime, she was looking forward to spending time with her husband and planning out a future that had felt so far away only that morning.

“Come on, let’s go find Daddy,” she says, walking from the living room towards the home office where she knew her husband would be. The door is slightly ajar, light streaming out from under it, and she pushes it all the way open as she walks in, “Honey, can we go out for tacos? The baby wants…”

She drifts off as he comes into view, his head in his hands, his elbows on his desk, and a glass of whiskey that clearly hadn’t been touched next to him. He looks up as she walks in and his eyes are shining. He quickly wipes his cheek and clears his throat. 

“You’re hungry sweetheart?” He asks, as if she hadn’t walked in on him crying, “We can-”

“What’s wrong?” She asks, cutting over him, “What’s happened?”

Aaron sighs and clasps his hands on his desk, “I’m fine.”

She stares at him and crosses her arms over her chest, leaning against the doorframe, “You’re not fine. You’ve been crying.” 

She could count on one hand the number of times she’d seen him cry. It was something he was rarely driven to. Unshed tears would make his eyes shine but never fall, something she knows was conditioned into him at a young age. A lesson he learnt from his father that he was desperate not to teach to Jack, both of them frequently telling the young boy it was ok to cry. She wracks her brain and tries to figure out what must have happened. They got home from the doctor’s office and settled on the couch for a while, both staring at the ultrasound photo that was still on the coffee table in the living room. She fell asleep and he must have slipped away to come here, weighed down by something he didn’t want to share. 

Now that she thinks about it he’d held her a little closer than usual as they snuggled on the couch, his lips against her temple as they spoke about everything that was to come. 

“Em-”

“We don’t keep things from each other,” she cuts over him, his denial clear on his face, “And we certainly don’t lie to each other.” 

They have a silent standoff, staring at each other until he sighs again and looks down at his desk, “You’re right,” he says, clearing his through in a failed attempt to hide the way it shakes, “I’m sorry.” 

Any annoyance she may have felt at him trying to keep something from her fades away, and her arms fall to her sides, as she watches him try to hold it together. “Aaron…” She’s across the room in a second, encouraging him to push his chair back just enough for her to climb into his lap. He holds her close, his arms tight around her, and she cups his face, a palm on each cheek as she makes him look at her, “What’s going on? Is someone hurt?”

“No,” he replies, shaking his head, “Nothing like that,” he assures her, leaning forward to press his forehead against hers. One of his hands slips around her waist and presses into her stomach, entirely covering the slight bump that had appeared, only obvious to the two of them. 

It makes her frown and she pulls back to look at him, her thumb wiping away a tear. It clicks into place. The way he’d asked the doctor countless questions at the end of appointment, how he’d bought her every pre-natal vitamin he could and mentioned on the drive home that they needed to start cooking healthier. 

“The baby is fine, Aaron,” she says, smiling reassuringly at him, “You heard what the doctor said. And you heard the heartbeat,” she adds, her chin trembling as she forces back her emotions, “Everything is fine.” 

“It wasn’t last time,” he says quietly, tensing his jaw as tears fall from his lashline. 

His words make her breath hitch in her chest, her body stiff against him as they wash over her. She tries to think desperately about that time 8 months ago when she first tried to act like she was ok before becoming so overwhelmed by the grief, by what they had lost, that she had almost drowned in it. He’d held her up, been the thing that kept her aloft when she couldn’t keep her head above water, and she feels awful that, beyond quiet conversations in bed, she never thought about what he had lost too. That he may have helped her to his own detriment. 

“Aaron,” she exclaims, her vision becoming blurry with tears, “I’m so sorry.” 

“God, Em, no,” he replies, shaking his head, “It’s not your fault. You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“Not for the…the miscarriage,” she says, her voice wavering. It was still hard to talk about and she wondered if it would ever be easier. If having the baby she was currently pregnant with in her arms would make the loss of the one she never held any duller. She had a feeling it wouldn’t. “For not thinking about how you’ve been struggling too.” 

“You were the one it happened to,” he says, almost sounding angry with himself as he furiously wipes the tears from his cheeks, “You were the one who was in so much pain you couldn’t sleep.” 

“And you had to watch it,” she replies, smiling sadly at him, “Seeing the person you love in pain isn’t easy. And it was your baby too,” she rests her forehead against his and they both close their eyes, breathing each other in, “If I hadn’t…we’d have a baby by now,” she says, her breath catching on a sob, “It’s ridiculous because we’ll never know, but I thought it was a girl.” 

“Me too,” he says, pulling back and looking at her, “And it’s not ridiculous.” 

She smiles at him and rubs her thumb back and forth over his jawline, “Please talk to me about this kind of thing.” 

“I didn’t want to upset you,” he says, tucking some of her hair behind her ear, “You were struggling and I didn’t want to add to it.”

She shakes her head at him, unsure how he could still think, after all this time, that his feelings weren’t important, “We look after each other. It’s what we do.” 

He nods, “Ok,” he clears his throat, his chin trembling as more tears fall onto his cheeks, “You’re right.” 

“I always am,” she quips, winking at him, smiling through her tears when he smiles back, “And everything is ok this time,” she says, taking his hand and pressing it on her belly, “The baby is the right size and is healthy and in 6 months-”

“The baby will be here,” he says, his smile shaking. 

“Exactly,” she pulls him in for a hug, his head resting on her chest, and she holds him tight, her fingers running through his hair, “I love you so fucking much.” 

“No swearing in front of the baby,” he jokes, his words muffled against her shirt, and she holds him a little tighter, showing her fake irritation without words, “I love you too.” 

She pulls away and looks at him, “It’s going to be great.” 

They share a smile, both thinking of all those months ago as they sat on their porch, the loss they had experienced the sharpest it had been, leaving an ache they weren’t sure would ever clear. 

“Yeah,” he replies, pulling her closer as he kisses her, “It’s going to be great.” 

-x-

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[religion-is-a-mental-illness]

By: Rob Henderson

Published: Oct 1, 2023

One of my favorite blogs from the Before Times was The Last Psychiatrist. He is most known for his writings on narcissism. When I discovered him in 2015, I read through most of his archive over the course of a few weeks. You can read my review of his book here.

On narcissistic injury and narcissistic rage:

“A narcissistic injury occurs when the narcissist is confronted with the reality that he is not the main character in his movie…The worst thing that could happen to a narcissist is not that his wife cheats on him and leaves him for another man…He's still the main character in his movie; it was a romantic comedy but now it's a break-up film…The worst thing that could happen to a narcissist is that his wife cheats on him secretly and never tells him, and she doesn't act any differently towards him, so that he couldn't even tell. If she can do all that, that means she exists independently of him. He is not the main character in the movie. She has her own movie and he's not even in it. That's a narcissistic injury…But all narcissistic injuries lead to rage…The violence serves two necessary psychological functions: first, it's the natural byproduct of rage. Second, the violence perpetuates the link, the relationship, keeps him in the lead role. ‘That slut may have had a whole life outside me, but I will make her forever afraid of me.’ Or he kills himself—not because he can't live without her, but because from now on she won't be able to live without thinking about him. See? Now it's a drama, but the movie goes on. So if you cause a narcissist to have a narcissistic injury, get ready for a fight.”

Psychological researchers have found that there are two categories of narcissist:

1. Grandiose narcissists: Dominant, extraverted, overconfident, exploitative, egotistical, low emotional distress. This is the version of narcissism people tend to be most familiar with.

2. Vulnerable narcissists: Self-centered, introverted, defensive, resentful, high emotional distress. Psychologists sometimes refer to them “hidden” or “shy” or “covert” narcissists because they don’t self-promote the way the grandiose types do.

Grandiose narcissists enjoy seeking any kind of attention. Their positive self-image is resistant to criticism. They always think they’re amazing no matter what people say.

In contrast, vulnerable narcissists have mixed feelings about seeking attention. They are overly excited at the prospect of positive feedback but excessively sensitive to negative feedback. They have a high opinion of themselves but this high opinion can be thwarted if the external world does not validate it.

Both types tend to be exploitative, hold high opinions of themselves, and see themselves as deserving of special treatment.

Compared to grandiose narcissists, vulnerable narcissists are more sensitive to insults, ruminate more about perceived unfairness, and report more anger when they do not receive what they think they deserve. Although vulnerable narcissists require external feedback to maintain their sense of self, they are often dissatisfied with the feedback they receive.

Narcissists, when they feel their carefully constructed identity is threatened, are prone to lashing out in an attempt to eliminate the source of the threat. Narcissistic rage is the response to a combination of shame and depression.

The Austrian-American psychoanalyst Heinz Kohut wrote, “the narcissistically injured cannot rest until he has blotted out a vaguely experienced offender who dared to oppose him, to disagree with him, or to outshine him.”

Narcissistic injuries result when a narcissist feels that the image they present in public has been threatened. They feel shame when their hidden “true self” has been revealed both to themselves and others.

To conceal the shame (which is often too painful), they react with rage. Some psychologists use the term “humiliated fury.” People who feel shame in response to their flaws being exposed are more likely to lash out.

But what kind of narcissist is most prone to this kind of explosive response?

In a widely-cited paper titled “Narcissistic Rage Revisited,” the researchers investigated which kind of narcissist is most prone to experiencing shame, hostility, aggressiveness, and anger.

Researchers gave different scales to participants, who rated the extent to which they agreed with statements such as:

Grandiose narcissism

“I can usually talk my way out of anything.”

“Modesty doesn’t become me.”

“I will usually show off if I get the chance.”

Vulnerable narcissism

“My feelings are easily hurt by the slighting remarks of others.”

“When I enter a room I become self-conscious and feel the eyes of others are upon me.”

“I often interpret the remarks of others in a personal way.”

The researchers were interested in which of these two types of narcissism would be most associated with:

Aggression (e.g., “I have threatened people I know,” and, “I have become so mad that I’ve broken things.”)

Anger (e.g., “I sometimes feel like a powder keg ready to explode,” and, “I have trouble controlling my temper.”)

Angry rumination (e.g., “I think about certain events from a long time ago and they still make me angry,” and, “I ponder about the injustices that have been done to me.”)

Hostility (e.g., “I am sometimes eaten up with jealousy,” and, “I wonder why sometimes I feel so bitter about things.”)

Shame (e.g., “A friend tells you that you boast a great deal. What is the likelihood that you would stop spending time with that friend?”)

Mistrust (e.g., “I am wary of others,” and, “I suspect hidden motives in others.”)

What kind of narcissist is more prone to negative emotion and violence?

Results:

Vulnerable narcissism (r = .56) was a much stronger predictor of aggression than grandiose narcissism (r = .23)

Vulnerable narcissism (r = .56) was a much stronger predictor of anger than grandiose narcissism (r = .15)

Vulnerable narcissism (r = .58) was a much stronger predictor of angry rumination than grandiose narcissism (r = -.06; not significant)

Vulnerable narcissism (r = .58) was a much stronger predictor of hostility than grandiose narcissism (r = .07; not significant)

Vulnerable narcissists were more likely to experience shameful self-evaluation (r = .29) and grandiose narcissists were less likely (r = - .32)

Vulnerable narcissism (r = .42) was a strong predictor of mistrust compared to grandiose narcissism (r = -.12; apparently grandiose narcissists are slightly more trusting than average)

In short, vulnerable narcissism is a consistent and powerful predictor of aggression, anger, angry rumination, hostility, shame, and mistrust. Vulnerable narcissism is more likely to lead to violence than grandiose narcissism. Additionally, vulnerable narcissism is associated with stronger shame responses, whereas grandiose narcissism predicts less shame.

As the researchers put it, these findings “consistently reveal narcissistic vulnerability to be a driver of narcissistic rage, an explosive mix of mistrust, anger, and rumination that results in lashing out at those who stand in the way.”

In his book The Status Game, Will Storr points out that “Humiliation has been described by researchers as 'the nuclear bomb of the emotions’” and that “the fundamental cause of most human violence is the wish to ward off the feeling of shame and humiliation and replace it with its opposite, the feeling of pride.”

These findings suggest we should be at least as wary of the “hidden” narcissists among us as we are of the grandiose ones.

==

We're living through the time of the vulnerable narcissist, and the aggrandizement of the victimhood they cloak themselves in.

[quodekash]

um. so.

I noticed this ages ago and promptly forgot about it, but when Win takes off his shirt at the start of episode 6, you can see a mark or bruise of some kind on his shoulder.

and win is always sleeping in class. He was late in episode 6 because he overslept. He wore the wrong uniform, was probably rushing to get ready due to oversleeping. We don’t know much about win’s life at home, apart from the fact that his dad wants him to continue the family car business thing (unless I’m remembering incorrectly but I’m pretty sure it’s something along those lines). his family doesn’t want him to peruse music. That could have detrimental effects on his mental (and therefore also physical) health and well-being. And there’s a bruise on his shoulder…

I’m not at all a professional of any kind in these matters, nor do I have any personal experience in anything like this, so hopefully someone with more knowledge/understanding than me can correct me or agree with me, but it seems a lot like there could be from some kind of ab*sive situation??

Or at least there’s probably some kind of problem with Win’s mental health, cos running late, getting dates mixed up, wearing the wrong uniform, really only having one group of friends that you’ve known for years, constantly starting fights to defend yourself and your friends, being so defensive it’s honestly showing signs of vulnerability/insecurity, “I actually feel like I exist today”, constantly appreciating words of affirmation to a deep level like you’ve rarely ever been told that you’re good enough… it all kind of points to some kind of brain… thingy.

In my eyes, as someone with adhd, I think Win probably also has adhd? The running late and sleeping in class and not really vibing with school (and a whole bunch of other stuff) are very reminiscent of adhd, so that could be why his family potentially doesn’t like him/treat him well

I’m not explaining this well, hang on.

the way I see it, Win is a kid with adhd. He’s never really worked well with school, it doesn’t agree with him. He finds himself constantly running late, always getting distracted, his focus narrows in on this one thing, and suddenly it’s 4am and he needs to go to sleep. So he’s constantly oversleeping, running late for school, and zoning out in class so much that he decides he might as well sleep in class because either way he won’t listen to the lesson so he should catch up on missed sleep while he can. And because of all this, his home hasn’t really felt like a home. His family constantly berates him for things outside of his control, continually yelling and screaming at him for being so unorganised, for being so late, for being so hyperactive. And maybe that anger is brought out into the physical world, is let out onto Win. And not just that, they want him to pursue something he doesn’t enjoy, something that isn’t his passion, and they don’t want him to enjoy the one escape he has, the one place he can go to feel safe and included. He starts masking his symptoms when he’s at home, making him even more exhausted cos masking is so freaking tiring, so whether he sleeps well at night or not, he still needs to nap in class. He spends as much time at the music club as he can, practicing as long as they’ll go, to avoid returning home to the screaming. His friends allow him to be him, they let him release his pent-up emotions, they make him feel a warm happiness he doesn’t experience often. These people stick by his side, day and night. If anyone says anything against them, he takes a stand and speaks up for them, he starts fights because that’s the only thing he knows how to do. During the beach trip, he just seems so… happy. Content. We never see him napping during the day. There’s never a moment where he’s yelling and defending and fighting. He’s friendly and chill and collected and alive. He’s not exhausted from masking, day in and day out, because he doesn’t have to around this group of people. He’s safe, as long as he doesn’t have to be at his house.

As for the inevitable fight… I’m not sure what it’s gonna be about, but Win probably explodes because he’s been having a lot of stuff building up at home that he hasn’t told anyone about, or because a lot happened on that particular day, or something along those lines.

idk if anyone will agree with any of this but it makes a lot of sense in my mind and I think it explains a lot, so I figured I should share it.

[kindness-and-friends]

//Character info because I was bored and I feel like posting random shit :3 also because I felt like lore

Blaze: The jock of the group.

Strengths: Strength, high determination, and of course bravery.

Weaknesses: Extenely impulsive, cares little to none about own safety, short temper

They aren't as reckless as people assume bravery souls are, but he can let go when in a fight. They are quite flirty and smug when it comes to the right people, but oftentimes can be serious. Blaze gets quite serious when friends of theirs are threatened and in danger. He is willing to sacrifice his life in times like these. On a lighter note, he will get bitches in approximately eight years. Willow sees him as a good offense.

Willow: The leader of the group.

Strenghts: Ability to immobilize enemies, manipulation, extremely obedient and loyal subjects, high determination

Weaknesses: Sleep deprivation, anger outbursts and strong emotions, pride

In no way do they meet the general expectations of a kind soul, with a high LOVE and terrible morals. Willow usually masks their genocidal and cruel self, giving off a calm - and in the future kind- appearance. They have anger outbursts due to this, and if you trigger them in any way, that mask will crack. When threatened, they usually depend on their loyal subjects. If the subjects aren't present, depending on the reason Willow will either be extremely vulnerable or extremely dangerous. The only thing they care about in a fight is eliminating the enemy. Any encounters with them will be a fight to the death.

Flo: The 'cute dumb one' of the group.

Strengths: Friendliness, easily able to socialize, adorable!!!, patience

Weaknesses: Gullible, trusting, low determination

They have aspects of a normal young patience soul. Flo is quite outgoing and sociable, allowing them to usually settle disputes between enemies. They are patient and kindly wait for enemies to realize they can be good guy. However, they do place too much trust in their enemies and easily walk into traps. But they are cute, so opponets don't hit them as hard! Most encounters are peacefully resolved. Willow sees them as a reliable communicater. They don't use Flo often though, the majority of times they prefer violence.

Raven: The stealth of the group

Strengths: Stealth, intelligence, maturity

Weaknesses: Not able to speak, low determination

Unlike most integrity souls, Raven isn't good at dancing. The experience and ballet shoes they've acquired allows them to silently and swiftly sneak behind enemies and distract them. Due to not being able to dance nor fight, Raven gave their ribbons to Willow so they can use it to immobilize enemies (as mentioned before). Due to being older and having more common sense, they know how to shut up the others so they don't break Willow's calm mask. It's easier said than done when they can't really say anything. Oftentimes they sneak away from most encounters, allowing them to peacefully move on to the next challenge. Willow sees them as a trusted distractor able to put the group in their place.

Xeon: The brains of the group

Strengths: Intelligence, fierceness, high determination, formality

Weaknesses: Close relationships, anger outbursts, fear

Xeon has the normal abilities of a perseverance soul but is more outgoing and brave than a normal one. Usually, he doesn't use this to his advantage, and he only puts his bravery to test after a loved one is... eliminated by the enemy. He usually bickers with Blaze (they're in love, i swear) and doesn't do much for the group other other than being emotional support (and being a nerd). Again, if anyone in the group is eliminated or badly injured by an enemy, depending on the care for the person he will get aggressive. Willow sees him as a good friend.

Clover: ████████ ██████ of the group.

Strengths: Dash ability, kindness, high standards, high determination, maturity

Weaknesses: Anger outbursts, oftentimes gets blinded by justice

Clover is a relatively normal justice soul and an average one. They usually have a blank expression and stare off into the distance. Nobody knows much about xem, and the members struggle to get close to them. Clover and Willow often had arguments about morality that resulted in both of them losing and isolating themselves in their jars. ███ █████ ██████ ██ ██████ ██████ ███ █████ ██████ ██████ ██████ █ ████ ████ ██████ █████ █████ ███████. Clover ████████████ ███████████ █████ █████ ████ ██████ ████████ ████ ███ went to visit their old friends. ██████ ██████████ ███ ███████ ███ ███████████ █████ ██ everyone voted for Willow to be the group leader after Clover left. Willow thought of them as a ██████ ███ ███████ ███ █ ████████ ██ ███ █████ ██ ████ ███████████ ██████ ██████ ████

[malorisaurus]

This has easily been the worst holiday season of my life, and I have been struggling profoundly. That is why I disappeared, really. Family I am no-contact with suddenly became excessively aggressive in their pressure, and a lot of grief that I hadn't addressed surfaced (ultimately positive because it means I am acknowledging and mindfully addressing it and moving toward acceptance). My father expanded his boundary pushing and I decided it was best for me to respond to him for the first time 2.5 years to establish my clear boundary so that if he continued to cross it I could block him without guilt (I still have to jump through a lot of emotional hoops with myself). He respected my request and didn't respond to my messages and has stopped texting, so now I have the annoying problem of the panic that comes with that—what are his motives? Is this a tactic and then he will redouble his efforts when he goes back to being annoyed that this has continued for so long?

I am trying to let it go while being mindful of the fear and panic that arises whenever I hear from him while also trying to look at this from more positive angles. I want my father to acknowledge my autonomy and respect me; in this circumstance, the only way for him to do that is to not reach out to me in accordance with my request. It doesn't mean that I have to change my position on this relationship, but it can be an opportunity to feel better instead of allowing intrusive thoughts to run rampant. It is very difficult for me to regulate in this way, though.

But between him and his mother, this entire month has been filled with ulterior motives expressed under the guise of birthday and Christmas wishes; I have not had peace. It made me feel stupid for not blocking them earlier, but to do so felt like abandoning hope of reform, and I had to realize that it was a bad premise for me to hold the door open for them with that demand on the other side of it. I don't deal in denial of another's autonomy or ultimatums. I am not safe with them, and I am not in a place where I can be vulnerable with them without being retraumatized, or at the very least, without moving beyond my capacity/ability to regulate. And since unmasking, it has become very difficult for me to mask my Autistic meltdowns and behaviors while in distress. I am not safe doing that with them, so it is an impossibility for me to open lines of communication at this point. That is a good enough reason to block numbers to avoid dealing with the stressors while I continue to process through the CPTSD.

On top of that, today my mother sent me an audio recording of my mentally ill brother going through an episode of psychosis because she didn't know what to do.

I talked her through ways to help him and was an ear for her to process her feelings—it is heartbreaking and so grief inducing (how can you not despair when someone you love is in so much pain?) but it is also a bit crazy-making having blaring music and wailing and shouting. I understand being frayed when that is your constant reality. My mom has been doing a good job of managing her overwhelm as her own issue, so that is fortunate. But she struggles to know how to offer him touchstone spaces that are low on pressure and still engage with him on his level, and instead, she leaves him to his raving and tries to ignore it. To be fair, she is the primary breadwinner of their household as well and she is working from home. It is a lot.

I feel pretty helpless most of the time, and I did have to go and cry and process through a huge surge of anger when she sent that message to me. She is doing the best she can with what she has, but it is often just so inadequate. The lack of healthcare options for low-income people is so profoundly damaging, and I grieve for our lack over our lives. And truly my parents have given us so much trauma and grief. My father is a truly awful person as it stands now. And while I believe that people can change, and I do not believe in dehumanizing even people whom I hate (unfortunately, I love him but I also profoundly hate him), he shows no interest in acknowledging his behavior. My mother has made a lot of very damaging choices, and my siblings and I bore the brunt of the consequences of those decisions. Now, she is too invested in maintaining the status quo when it absolutely does not serve anyone, least of all my brother. I am truly so angry at all that my siblings and I have suffered at the hands of our parents, which is a lot, sadly.

My brother carries so much pain. I listen to him and I see a man who is trapped in a prison of all of our shared traumas, his own unique traumas, and then the mental illness that he has no help or real support with. He desperately wants things in his life and has no recourse to achieve them. And unmasking is such a hugely vulnerable act, and he trusts no one and with good reason. I want to be a safe person for him, but I can't convince him to trust me. So he is just so trapped. I hurt for him, but all I can do is continue to reach out and let him know that I am there—a thousand unanswered text messages and voicemails.

So yeah, a lot of weight all at once. A lot of grief. I don't know what the future will hold, but I am working hard to be the person that I want to be through putting in the work to heal, putting the work in toward accountability, and by being present and available to those that need me.