#but shes clearly wrong
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secondhand trauma is so fucked up because you have these horrible doom feelings and you dont even know why. youve been told the world is scary and you believed it and it was never something you made your own mind up about. its just part of life. and how do you argue with parts of life
#hi this is about my mum projecting her trauma with psychiatric medication onto me#and leaving me too afraid to take even headache medicine all my life#kostik speaks#i had a blood test recently and the vitamins and stuff came back fine. my depression and illnesses arent about my intake#my mum Insists they are. she Insists that if i just eat well enough ill see theres nothing wrong with me and i dont need meds#but shes clearly wrong#and its occuring to me maybe theres more for me out there than doing one thing a day and being sick every week#Maybe theres medication for this#and i dunno thats a weird thought. i keep echoing her telling my therapist im fine dont need meds. but i genuinely cannot function#and im chill about it because its all ive known and i like to be blase but. to anybody else. my health is pretty concerning#my constant exhaustion is pretty concerning. and i know why i have it#but it didnt really occur to me that i might benefit from medication#someone brought it up to me. ill have a ponder
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I think depictions of Anya being cruel to Curly or drawing out his suffering are artful and chilling but completely miss the point of the story and her character.
I'm not saying she doesn't deserve to have that "I told you so" moment with him but not in something callous or cold. Even if that is how it happened, she'd immediately feel guilty cause at that point she's not tormenting her tormenter or even the person truly at fault. She's doing something cathartic, similar to how Jimmy likely hits Curly to release rage he can't against the rest of the crew. She'd see herself as no different when she'd come back from the moment and see Curly cowering at her. She wants someone to take responsibility but how does being cruel to the defenseless help? Why would she want the power Jimmy has over her over Curly?
The idea of her extending someone else's pain is just so against the struggles she already faces and how she can't even bring herself to cause someone pain even to help them. Her very desire is to release herself from her own suffering and I doubt she'd even fine some sort of guilty release in being cruel to another.
#anya is not a character i see taking agency or indulging in cathartic behaviors#not knowingly like i see her as a character trapped in her head and maybe in the scenario she's cruel to Curly she is envisioning Jimmy#in his place but its not a story about justice or those deserving of punishment and those not like its the opposite of people projecting#their issues on the wrong people and saying things to the wrong people and doing things they shouldn't but anya uniquely falls out of it as#she is subjected to a lot of it but it is also not something she wants to subject another person to like you are doing what Jimmy does and#placing ur rage into another persons and viewing their actions through your eyes like she'd more likely yell at him than do harm or#cause him more pain like at least make it in character#but also she clearly doesn't want to see jimmy or curly in the same light and doesnt because she still repeatedly goes to Curly for comfort#and protection and god there's like concepts that need to be applied to characters individually and then the story as a whole#we can not view the game through only one themed lens less we forget to inspect the compounding factor of Anya is so much more than girl#that needs to be allowed to go off but a woman that simply wants right to be done by her and no more harm like she doesn't want to be aroun#the suffering like idk but some of yall would just benefit from like understanding that people are inherently grey with the capabilities of#black n white thinking or actions#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#anya mouthwashing#i like her the most but then again i am defensive of all women in media and hate when people change the way the character would take agency#for themselves like yes I want her to tweak out but she just wouldn't and I like seeing realistic depictions of a woman suffering the way#she is like shes not the type at the end of the movie to have a one liner but feel a shallow freedom cause she needs to realistically heal#idk but its just like there is an obbsession forming with making her character her pain and not how she handles and navigates the issue
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Dp x Dc AU: Dani has a too many break-ups for Danny’s heart to handle as an older brother- So he gives her a criteria that her next boyfriend needs to fit for Danny to approve of their relationship.
Dani was really excited about her new boyfriend. He was witty, and charming, knew how to sword fight and was absolutely stunning. He loved his family, was passionate about animals and social justice causes, and he was an artist! She had a thing for green eyes, and hey, he was actually super chill about them having flexible schedules to see each other (she had vigilante shit to do that she couldn’t explain)! It’s been going on for a few months and she’s honestly ready for him to meet Danny & Jazz but...
The last time she was home it was for a broken heart and Danny was beside himself with worry over her. He made the guys recently deceased ancestors come forward to speak on his behalf and it was Mortifying- Danny was ready to throw down. And Dani had to admit, it was super sweet that her big brother cared so much. He’d happily given a shovel talk to each of her partners when she brought them home and he’d happily tried to bond with them and integrate into their lives. Danny always allowed her to make mistakes but respected her choices to only ever ask two questions when a new partner came into the picture: Do they make you happy? Do they treat you well?
This last time he made a simple request, just could they please fit this one criteria?
The thought comes to her unfortunately when she’s making out with her perfect match, her soul mate, this beautifully stabby man Damian Wayne, that she should bring up the deal breaker. Her brother gave her literally one request for her next partner, and by the ancients she didn’t want to disappoint Danny.
Pulling away from her boyfriends kiss for just a moment, Dani quickly asks “Sorry, Sorry, it’s just...Have you ever died before?”
Damian’s look of confusion and then concern grew on his normally collected face, which told her more than enough.
“Okay great!” And she leaned back in, only to realize that he’s pulled back.
“Would... Would you care to explain why you just asked me that?” Damian was doing his best to not jump to conclusions.
“Sorry, I just got in my head a bit about how you’re like, the light of my life and I want you to meet my family and then my brain wandered, before you did that thing with your teeth, to the fact that my brother kind of requested... um, well, he just asked that my next partner be, uh, don’t freak out if this sounds weird, but uh, be dead.”
“He...He wants your partner to be dead.”
“Well, Dead adjacent is perfectly normal in my family! It’s not like a whole thing! You’ve died before, so he’ll absolutely love you! And he’ll love you even more because you love me!” She smiles as brilliantly as the stars.
Damian isn’t sure for a second, but eventually asks: “Your family is ‘dead adjacent’ and you want me to meet them?” to which she happily confirms.
“Do you... Wish to know how I-” Damian begins but she cuts him off “No! Never, I would never ask that of you. He won’t ask either! He actually has a better vision for these things so it probably won’t even come up! How does next Tuesday work?”
“That should be fine, however, well...On the subject of family expectations ... Is it even possible that you might be a vigilante?” Damian’s worries melt away when his girlfriend smiles and lunges forward to kiss him.
Families could have such weird expectations, you know?
#Dcxdp#dpxdc#dp x dc#dc x dp#danny phantom#dani phantom#damian wayne#serious chaos#lmao dannys actual words were 'could you please just date someone i can relate to for once?'#dani interpreted that as meaning dead/undead#she's honestly not wrong for thinking that tho cause he's only ever tried to set her up on blind dates with other ghosts#Danny is a good big brother to her and i believe this to my dying breath#damian is so sure that shes a vigilante but has never dared to cross that line and ask#damian is like 'she can knock me on my ass she is clearly the perfect woman'
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the psychological horror created by Hasbro’s desire to sell more toys rather than honour the desires of the original creator resulting in an immortal alicorn princess of friendship doomed to watch her friends grow old and die without her is so interesting to me. by trying to cater to children more you have accidentally created a reality in which death of the main characters friends as she lives on for centuries is not just implied but confirmed. idk it’s fascinating to think about
#EVEN MORESO BY G5#with discord in the comics clearly descended into misery without fluttershy#their absence speaks volumes#and I know kids are able to handle mature topics like death earlier than we often assume#but still it’s so strange to think about death of the main characters being canon and confirmed in the colourful pony cartoon#wild#mlp#major character death#character death#DONT GET ME WRONG I LOVED THE LAST EPISODE SO MUCH#it’s just !!!!! I wish twilight was growing old alongside them#I don’t like how much she looks like celestia too#she’s grown so apart from her roots it feels like it undoes much of her growth#at the same time it’s the best ending we could’ve hoped for all things considered#I JUST MISS HER ICONIC FRINGE
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nicki is the prime example of an older bitter woman. she need serious help fr. like to hear her on live stuttering and going on and on about megan and her deceased mother is sickening. she stooped low af fr. all over one line. megan ain’t even say that girls name and it got her yapping out her mouth like somebody grandma. and she’s only proving everyone’s point about her nasty ass husband. now if megan say sum bout her father or brother???? don’t go crying to kenneth or papa about how everyone’s against you cs you’re the queen of rap blah blah.
#and don’t get me wrong. ADORE nicki’s music. i was too a barb. but time and time again has she lessened her value#she continues to bash every woman she collabs w#she has beef with EVERY WOMAN IN THE INDUSTRY. she’s clearly the problem.#she hates seeing anyone be great or do more than her.#i hope megan say a lot more about her lil ass. talking about a mother like that would get a bitch STOMPED in my city#also her doing this dr seuss ass rhyme#LMAOOOOOOO.#giving one fish two fish#talking about her foot but didn’t you say she was lying??? so you agree??? she got shot? oh okay.#៹ ࣪𖥔 ━━━ ꒰ 𝑚𝑜𝑐ℎ𝑎’𝑠 𝑝𝑟𝑒𝑡𝑡𝑦 𝑡ℎ𝑜𝑢𝑔ℎ𝑡𝑠 .ᐟ ꒱#megan thee stallion#nicki minaj
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If you saw this 5 seconds ago when it had a cropping issue no you didn’t
#have you ever made something and thought “I need to go back to therapy because something is clearly wrong”#yeah.#revolutionary girl utena#shoujo kakumei utena#rgu#sku#utena tenjou#anthy himemiya#utena shitposts#nanami kiryuu#ohtoriposting#Nanami says no to watching her duel because why would you want to watch her lose#she also says no to watching episode 31 because why would you watch her get traumatized
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I hate you mfs that don't like Gwen after across the spider verse it smells like misogyny
#i liked her MORE after atsv#like yeah she needs to apologize to miles duh#but why is she not allowed to make mistakes without being villanized#ive heard more people talk about how bad gwen is than fucking Miguel#shes CLEARLY being influenced if not manipulated by Miguel and jess#shes only doing those things because she wants to PROTECT miles#she doesnt want what Miguel is saying to be true#like yall im p sure she fully accepted that her dad was going to die#they had to have said some shit to make her accept that#and at the end shes trying to right her wrongs#shes become such a more nuanced character than she was in the first movie#why are you guys fucking stupid#AND shes trans shes literally amazing#gwen stacy#spiderverse#spider man across the spider verse#across the spiderverse#spider gwen#marvel
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- Answer the question, Miss Scully! - What is the question?
The X-Files | S04E09 'Terma'
#the relief she must have felt#we have to think that she was almost certain he was dead at this point#and then he just Arrives#from outta nowhere no warning#clearly injured but not too obviously#and it galvinises her to continue and make the case she wants to make#beautiful for them#aside but the fact that the orchestra didnt '''swell''' here is actually a musical crime#i mean i appreciate the trumpet dont get me wrong but like. we could have had a string swell!!!#x files#the x files#s04e09#terma#the scientist speaks#my gifs#gillian anderson#dana scully#david duchovny#fox mulder#notes: 100
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"why don't you want him to know how much you love him?" "that's a little personal. he knows." "uh-huh."
#interview with the vampire#iwtv#armand#the vampire armand#loumand#louis de pointe du lac#daniel molloy#alice molloy#must preface that NOBODY IS ALLOWED TO USE THIS FOR LDPDL HATE PURPOSES#even though louis (well both of them lbr) clearly had communication and commitment issues#armand directed a play that would KILL louis all because he was self conscious that louis didn't love him enough#anyway this is just one interpretation of the 'alice rejected daniel's proposal' convo scene#cause i see soo many people ask 'why did armand say all that' (and have wondered so myself)#even though we cant rule out the possibility that devil's minion happened in the past and that this was armandaniel history tease#armand could be projecting his choice re: louis and the trial onto alice's choice here#similar to how daniel was projecting his feelings about paris onto claudia in this same episode#i just think this would make sense thematically w armand's arc this season#(ie revealing what a deeply insecure and selfish and fucked up lover he is under his guise as a 500 yo devoted and caring husband)#armand 🤝 lestat: i will love you and i will hurt you. if i cant have you then i will break you#[plays under your spell by desire] whats the difference between love and obsession and desire? do you think this feeling could last forever#c.txt#mine#'she didnt think she could trust you' sounds like a YOU problem buddy#and then armand realizes he was wrong too late and bro was SCRAMBLING#the start of something beautiful aka failmarriage!!! :D
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Mal's Avatar: The Last Airbender rewatch: The beach 3.05
#atlarewatch#avatar the last airbender#atla#azula#princess azula#zuko#prince zuko#mai#ty lee#gifs#avatarthelastairbenderedit#atlaedit#azulaedit#useramys12#tusersimone#userthing#smallscreensource#will not hear anything about 'ursa wasn't a bad mom to azula she just didn't enable her' cause that's not fucking true#i'm not saying ursa should've let azula get away with the bad stuff she did or that her intentions weren't good (which we literally have no#way of knowing ursa is barely a character) but if your child EVER feels like this you have FAILED as a parent sorry not sorry#she said out loud when she clearly knew azula could hear 'what is wrong with that child' DUDE WHAT IS WRONG WITH *YOU*???????#you gotta balance out reprimand with actual affection otherwise the child will not take in the message you're trying to teach them they'll#just think you hate them#AND SHE DID THAT RIGHT WITH ZUKO WHEN HE IMITATED AZULA AND THREW BREAD AT THE TURTLEDUCKS! she scolded him then showed him affection after#on another note!#i think the pause azula takes after saying she doesn't care is super interesting! cause it's VERY similar to the 1x20 zuko moment i#giffed when he's talking about how ozai favoured azula!!! i might make a separate parallel gifset just for that#GOD these siblings make me insane
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Thinking about "So Long, London" as one does and the "I'm pissed off you let me give you all that youth for free" which is devastating enough on its own as a succinct shorthand of saying "I gave you some of my most formative years thinking we were committed to the same life plans together" (as in building a family life together) but with ~everything~ can also be a statement of her entrusting him with her youthful hopes and dreams and joy and earnestness only for it all to be cast aside and not returned (and at worst, weaponized).
#especially after everything she went through before they met#that it would have taken a lot for her to let someone in#and trust in them#and reconnect with that side of herself#and you compare her demeanour in 2017-2022#to how she is now#and it's like a completely different world#and there are a lot of reasons for that and not just *** don't get me wrong#but you see the way she - to quote a certain someone - has such a love of life#and is so earnest in everything she does#and the way she is present in the world now is way more like her teenage self than how she'd been in the last decade#and not in terms of maturity because she's clearly a grownup#but just in her zest for life and her embracing of who she is#idk idk it's a lot#writing letters addressed to the fire#this will flop because it's the middle of the afternoon during a show day but i had to get it off my chest
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I want you to be aware that I KNOW you have treated me infernally—infernally! Do you hear? And if you flatter yourself that I don't perceive it, you are a fool; and if you think I can be consoled by sweet words, you are an idiot: and if you fancy I'll suffer unrevenged, I'll convince you of the contrary, in a very little while!
—Emily Brontë, Wuthering Heights
#this is my tumblrina moment... the moment I say Heathcliff has done nothing wrong in his life (shoves the many instances of crazy ass abuse#under the rug)#Heathcliff the freak that you are... I feel so exhilarated when I read their conversations with Catherine. Absolute MADNESS#the way they will tear at each other and they turn around and bully whoever DARES insult one or the other#that's it. cracked the code. blew everything out of the water. Emily gets it#I'm also obsessed with the way she CLEARLY equates sexiness with evilness despite Nelly's unreliably disgusted POV#like babygirl aren't you a clergyman's daughter? You saucy lass#anyway none of these things are new but rereading them is like a shot of electricity to the brain I forgot the delight I FORGOT and NOW I'm#insane again#lit#emily brontë#wuthering heights#u
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ambrosius asking who nimona was, ballister should’ve answered with, “our new daughter” with nimona in the corner with a clearly fake adoption certificate that she more than likely annoyed ballister to sign
#this is how nimona remembers it duh#is this not what happened#tell me im wrong#i did the thing#hope you like my art#i drew it#nimona#she clearly signed for them#and she (and i) couldnt give a single fuck into drawing the directors face#ballister blackheart#ballister boldheart#ambrosius goldenloin
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I've been sitting on a headcanon for over a year now because I know that once I put it out I will want to expand on it.
But fuck it what is one more writing project?
I want Ghost to be fucking paranoid about Laswell finding out about him and Johnny. Not even because she would necessarily tear them apart but because she would absolutely use it. To her advantage and thus potentially against them.
Send them out on a dangerous undercover op for months under the guise of having left so they could be together. Infiltrating some dubious PMC perhaps that doesn't quite care, they're getting the Ghost and his Sergeant after all, if they just look the other way. What a fucking deal and how dumb the government is to let those 2 become mercenaries just because they like to fuck each other. One wrong step one wrong word and they might both end up dead.
But far more than physical harm just the threat of keeping them apart if they don't comply. Days that easily spin into weeks and months that they just keep missing each other, mission beginning before the other gets back from his current one. Until Laswell pointedly asking if they are going to behave this time is "graciously" giving them another chance to work together.
Because really, there's nothing they can do, right? They could be dishonourably discharged for fraternisation and instead Laswell is "only" using it to twist their arms.
Price, even if he knows can't really help them either because again, any kind of ruckus about this and it could end so much worse.
Soap probably has a little more faith in Laswells morals, although I'm sure the more they work together the more that quickly fades and he understands Ghost's caution. That woman got to where she is in life for a reason.
So they are still close with each other when she's around. Would be weird if they stopped all of a sudden, bound to draw her attention too. But always minding a careful line. Keeping it to the "brothers in arms". Never giving away too much. And sometimes that stings even more. When Ghost sees Johnny's need for physical contact and can't do more than give him a manly pat on the shoulder. Torn apart by the need to hold him.
When Soap notices that Ghost isn't sleeping on an op, knowing he should be there and talk him through the night until the bad dreams fade and Ghost gets at least a few hours of shut-eye. Nothing he can offer but empty phrases and a dumb comment about Ghost clearly needing to get laid.
They both know of course. What they really mean. It's still grating.
Better than it could be if she knew though. Worth to keep what they have safe.
#please dont get me wrong i love laswell so much#i just think this is an interesting way to think about her and how far she is willing to go for “whats right”#and the things shes willing to sacrifice#and ghost having dealt with so many kinds of betrayal from superiors is just immediately wary of her#like he clearly states that he doesnt fully trust her in alone#because he doesnt really trust anyone but price when it comes to upper brass#idek the idea has been haunting me for a while now#ghostsoap#soapghost#simon ghost riley#john soap mactavish#cod mwii#johnny soap mactavish#cod#cod mw2#ghoap#cod hc#kate laswell
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Alice is in her third trimester
I've seen a few comments about Daniel possibly cheating on Alice with Armand and I'm kinda like . . . you're assuming that Daniel or Armand -- who regularly, at least in the books, would be in situations where Armand would sit in a chair and watch Daniel have sex with other people -- would themselves view that as cheating. Because I don't think they would've. (At the very least, not younger Daniel.)
It's been talked about, more than once, about how the vampires in this universe are inherently polyamorous. I don't think Armand would care at all about sharing Daniel with another lover. And Daniel, being entangled with Armand (and quite possibly Louis as well) for so long might have himself become not overly concerned with such a thing.
I think Alice is the only one who would have cared that Daniel was sleeping with someone else (if she ever found out), and would have seen it that way. But I, personally, can see Armand and younger Daniel not caring about that view of things in the slightest . . . particularly because they were the ones who were together initially anyway. And that Daniel probably first ever got together with Alice during one of Daniel's running away periods.
Because the main thing that led to their splits sometimes, i.e. Daniel running away, was because Armand's refusal to make Daniel a vampire. Other than that, though? Nothing else in the relationship between them was a problem, particularly for Daniel. And I think that is going to be true wrt the show's version of events. Still being with his vampire lover, even after he may have gotten married? Don't think it is at all outside of possibility -- or that Daniel would have any guilt about it.
And THAT piece of information -- that the only problem he had with the relationship with Armand is that Armand wouldn't turn him -- is going to be the info that Daniel, in the present, likely won't want to face about himself IMO.
Daniel is clearly accepting of the fact that he was a shit father and a terrible husband. But accepting the possible true reason behind all of that?
I said it last year, and I'll say it again -- the revelation about the Devil's Minion that's going to hit Daniel the hardest is very likely going to be the one that reveals he has ZERO moral high ground when it comes to these vampires.
At the moment, Daniel can tell himself that he asked Louis for the Dark Gift because he thought Louis was wasting it. But that excuse is not going to work when it comes to the years and years he asked and wanted Armand to turn him.
That Armand refused to break his vow to never bring another into The Blood -- that is what ended up being what drove them apart. Not any moral conscious Daniel ever had, or grew, about being with Armand at all. Not even whatever transpired regarding Daniel and Alice (and Daniel getting her pregnant likely not just once, but twice, never mind marrying her.)
If Armand had decided to break his vow back then, then IMO, Daniel would have accepted. Alice or no Alice. Kids or no kids. Because while Daniel in the present has nice, even sincerely heartfelt memories about Alice? His past self was clearly emotionally checked out of whatever relationship he had with her by the time of that pregnancy announcement in 1985.
1985. The same year when, in the books, Armand finally did break his vow and turn Daniel, on Halloween. And this is what Daniel had to say about it when Armand finally decided to turn him:
"But don't you see," Daniel said, "all human decisions are made like this. Do you think the mother knows what will happen to the child in her womb? Dear God, we are lost, I tell you. What does it matter if you give it to me and it's wrong! There is no wrong! There is only desperation, and I would have it! I want to live forever with you."
As long as Daniel held any knowledge of not only vampires but of Armand specifically, this is what he would think, what he would always want. And that, IMO, is why he was emotionally checked out when Alice announced that pregnancy. Because, at that point in time, he still held the knowledge, of not just vampires, but Armand himself.
And they were still very much entangled with each other at that time IMO. Still lovers.
My theory is that it isn't Daniel kicking his drug habit that had him "getting his shit together." Well, okay, he did kick a drug habit, but the drug in question was actually Armand's blood. Not to mention Armand himself.
And I think that event happened sometime around when Alice was in her third trimester. (Hence, the name of that track listing).
. . . .
I'm also beginning to wonder if Armand actually was the one who repressed/blocked Daniel's memories of him, or if it was someone else. No, I don't think Louis was the one who did it, (or Lestat either btw), and Armand doing it does make the most sense, given he clearly is not harboring any happy thoughts about Alice, and Daniel splitting from him for her. But a day or so before the new clip came out, @faerywhimsy made a comment to me about who could have also done it, given a comment I made elsewhere about the timeline length Daniel and Armand were apart, and what book-event that matches up with and well . . . .
That person being the one who took Daniel's memories not only tracks wrt the timeline Armand and Daniel spend apart, but it would also track when it comes to the relationship Armand has with that person too. That's all I'm saying . . .
. . . .
Anyway, yeah. I think it was around Alice's third trimester when Armand and Daniel actually split for good. Which, depending on when she got pregnant could conceivably be around towards the end of 1985. Though, more possibly, go over into 1986. But I think that is why there is actually a track named that when it comes to the score for Season 2. Because that time period became a significant one. The time when Daniel actually "got his shit together."
And maybe why, in the present, he can have such love and loving thoughts about Alice. Because the reasons for his being emotionally checked out were no longer at the forefront of his mind for so long anymore (even if he still ended up being a shitty husband and father still -- with Alice as his ex and his kids not speaking to him -- without them).
#Daniel Molloy#Daniel Malloy#Armand#The Vampire Armand#armandaniel#Interview with the Vampire#amc iwtv#iwtv#iwtv meta#amc interview with the vampire#Armand x Daniel#Daniel x Armand#I think Daniel's relationships with both Armand and Alice are going to overlap for a while#longer than we might think when it comes to the 1980s#and ESPECIALLY if Night Island still happened and for the reasons it even first came into existence in the first place#just some thoughts#I'm prepared to be wrong#but there is clearly something wrt Alice going on#I never thought she was actually Armand and I always was sure she existed#and I DO think some of Daniel's emotional memories of Armand and now mixed with her#but there is something specific going on there wrt her -- and it ties in/with/about Armand I feel sure#and WHO was Daniel's second wife?#interesting how she hasn't been mentioned or anything aside from just knowing Daniel was married twice . . . .
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Do you ever just really think about what having Aylin and Isobel in camp must have been like though. Like. Just in general. On a daily basis.
#bg3#isobel is UNHINGED like there is genuinely something very wrong with her#(affectionate)#she does the virtuous moonmaiden act really well but like#this is a woman who took one look at Aylin and fell in love instantly#and I'm not saying she doesn't have good taste#I'm just saying the virginal act is clEARLY A KINK THING AND ISOBEL THORME IS D E R A N G E D UNDER THE HOOD
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