#but secretly cares so fucking much

[somerandomdudelmao]

Part 2 is here! :D

And you know what?

Sensei Leonardo and Master Michelangelo are good. But Donnie is not a master or a teacher or a professor for Casey. Nonono~

Donnie is that totally crazy uncle and I will fight for that concept.

Part 1 Next episode

[team7-headquarter]

HE WAS SO MAD

[gay-jesus-probably]

Seeing as the Gerudo turned on Ganon, he might not have been that much better of a ruler.

First of all, we literally have no idea, because the only ancient Gerudo that we actually get to interact with is Ganondorf himself, and he has nothing to say about his own people. The ancient Gerudo sage doesn't count btw, she doesn't have a name, we never even see her face, and she has literally nothing to say except repeating the exact same dialogue as the sages for the other races. The narrative does not treat the ancient sages as people; they are four completely interchangable weapons that are owned by the royal family.

And secondly, I don't care how Ganon ruled them; the Gerudo only get one man every century, if their king sucks, they've obviously got their own system of government to fall back on. I have no idea what kind of authority the sages had among their own people, but honestly I'd say if the four of them were in charge of their respective people, then they were just puppet rulers appointed by Rauru, given that all four of them happily agreed that to sell their entire race into servitude the second Zelda asked them. Say what you will about Ganondorf, but I fucking know that if he was told the Gerudo people existed for the sole purpose of serving the glory of Hyrule, he'd drop kick Zelda into the fucking sun.

And don't get me started on the implications of the cultural differences we see between the independent Gerudo and the annexed Gerudo. The background Gerudo characters all have their own models, and we can clearly see that the ones siding with Ganon have their own unique looks - for example, the amazing lady with the mohawk that summons the molduga swarm in that one flashback. And men are never mentioned in these flashbacks at all, which implies that the Gerudo genuinely didn't care about settling down. Ganon even speaks derisively about marriage, implying that it's very rare for Gerudo women to make serious romantic commitments with men. It implies that their culture is more along the same line as their portrayal in OOT - they are a closed culture. Men trying to force their way into their areas are arrested, and mocked for being entitled dumbasses. Outsiders are only welcome if they can prove that they respect the Gerudo as people, and aren't just there to try and pick up chicks. It's never outright said, but OOT also makes it pretty clear that the Gerudo women just aren't interested in marrying outsiders - close relationships occur with other Gerudo, Hylian men are only considered useful for making babies.

Meanwhile the Gerudo we see serving Hyrule are all trying to measure up to Hylian beauty standards, and appeal to their men. Their one goal in life is to meet a man and get married. Men are welcome in their lands, and only kept out of the town itself... and even then, there's a small army of guys trying to force their way into the town anyways, which is brushed off as just haha, boys will be boys. No men allowed isn't even about independence, it's just a silly romantic tradition.

Of course this is just a fictional culture in a game world, but it's still really fucking uncomfortable that the 'evil' Gerudo are the ones that have independence, both politically and socially, and display a unique culture that refuses to tolerate disrespect from outsiders. Meanwhile the 'good' Gerudo are the ones that canonically exist to serve a kingdom where 95% of the population is light skinned (even setting aside the unfortunate implications, just saying one race exists to serve a different one is super fucked up), they have classes on how to be more appealing to Hylian's, and their entire social structure is built around finding a Hylian man to marry, making them all inherently dependent on the goodwill of outsiders. Even their biggest value of 'women only' is treated as a joke; men trying to trespass in BOTW are just shoved back out the door, letting them keep trying all day if they want. The crowds of men plotting to force their way in are laughed off as a joke. Nobody cares that there's a guy running laps around their city walls and trying to trick women into being alone with him. I mean for fucks sake, in TOTK we find that the creepy guy trying to lure women away has taken advantage of a massive disaster to get into the town, and he's still there once things return to normal. You can't kick him out, or alert anyone to his presence. And the Gerudo just tolerate Hylians blatantly ignoring their boundaries. For fucks sake, TOTK even reveals that the seven legendary heroines they've been revering the whole time were actually completely useless and unable to achieve anything... because they needed the eighth hero, a Hylian man to teach them basic tactics and do all the heavy lifting.

TOTK does not respect the Gerudo people in the slightest. It doesn't respect anyone who isn't Hylian or Zonai.

...This got a little off track, but the point I'm trying to make is, no, I don't consider the Gerudo turning on Ganon to mean anything. The entire game does not feel like the real story of what happened, it feels like the propaganda version of history meant to make Hyrule look as good as possible. I genuinely cannot believe that we're being told the real story about the Imprisoning War, because none of it feels real, and we don't get to know any details that might have made Hyrule look even slightly imperfect. We're told that Ganondorf is evil because he hates Hyrule, and he hates Hyrule because he's evil. The Gerudo people followed Ganondorf and saw him as a hero of their people, then suddenly he was their worst enemy. Hyrule is a perfect kingdom that has strong, equal alliances with the other races, but also all of the non-Hylian races exist for the sole purpose of serving Hyrule, and their leaders are expected to swear eternal loyalty and submission to the Hylian royal family. King Rauru and Queen Sonia united all of the races in peace and equality, which is why they're sitting on the world's supply of magical nuclear missiles, and every member of the Hylian royal family is allowed to walk around wearing them as cute accessories, but everyone else only gets them at the last second, and they all need to outright swear to only use that power to benefit Rauru and his descendants.

There's just so many fucked up contradictions, and so many hints of something more nuanced going on... but the story refuses to acknowledge any of it, and just keeps aggressively pushing the narrative that Hyrule is the ultimate good and couldn't possibly do anything wrong. I don't even believe that Ganon was a bad king honestly; we never hear why his people stopped following him. We also never even see if the Gerudo people turned on him at all; all we know is the ancient Gerudo sage wanted him dead, and given that she also happily sold her people into slavery, she's not exactly the most trustworthy source of information. All we know is that Ganondorf was a hero to his people, only one of his citizens is ever shown having an issue with him (and her motives are never explained), and then he lost the war and was sealed away, leaving his people open to be conquered by Zelda and annexed into Hyrule. By the time we see any Gerudo actually opposing Ganon (apart from the ancient sage), it's been ten thousand years since the war, and all anyone knows is the Hylian version of the story.

[antiquepearlss]

I actually really want Eugene to officiate the Varigo wedding because one, it’s not a very official or proper wedding. If anything, it’s something Rapunzel and Varian put together in one week and is essentially just a giant party where they blow stuff up and eat cake. Varian totally asks Eugene thirty minutes beforehand if he will officiate and after five minutes of sobbing, he agrees.

And two, because I want him to say this line-

“It has been a joy to watch your distracting childish rivalry turn into a distracting childish courtship, which will undoubtedly turn into a distracting childish marriage.”

[bartonbones]

unless you can actually look into my eyes and tell me you think carmy would be able to tell sydney or marcus or ebra or tina "you should be dead, you're not good at this" i need you to stop saying he's in his psycho/dictator/nyc chef era it is annoying to me YES he's a bitch NO he's not abusive

[vanmarkham]

i don’t think varric and anders are friends /or/ enemies in a world state where anders lives post da2. I think it’s much more complicated than that

[woodblxssomcrowned]

.

[snixx]

me: *explains why and how they hurt me and why I really didn't want to bring this up because I just broke up with my best friend and favourite person in the whole world and im tired of losing people and being too much but also they really hurt me and I consider them one of the closest people to me and I want to be honest*

them: ...

them: sorry

me: ...

them: *offers no further explanation*

me: ...

them: ...idk what else to say I have no excuse im sorry

me: uh. okay it's fine (I guess)

them: so how are you

me: fine i guess [elaborates]

them: ah.

me: how are you what's up

them: fine.

*20 minutes of extremely painful one sided conversation later*

them: hey I gotta go *doesn't reach out again. for weeks now*

[biblicalhorror]

Thinking about my Rook hours </3

[trans-estinien]

i think its hilarious i tried to be friends with the other theater seniors last year like. bestie you are the weirdest freak of them all theres no way they like you. why did i even tryyyy. i wouldve been better off not giving a fuck but i ruined prom and my entire graduation. wow.

[secretlythatsme]

anyway dc x dp is my new fixation hell and i've had so many ideas for aus but one that's really sticking with me is a classic "danny has to run away to gotham because his home is no longer safe" au where danny is explicitly looking for other ghosts or at the very least is pulled to gotham because there are so many of them there.

he flies around for a while and finds this manor and he can sense so many nice ghosts! so he just. goes there! and stays! and this can be human danny showing up at their door injured or it can be ghost danny just flying in but regardless, the waynes would never turn him away. bruce would get suspicious absolutely, but he's seen enough traumatized abused kids to know the signs. thomas and martha? they think this new ghost kid is adorable!!

there could be angst sure but idk i love the idea of danny getting hurt by his parents or the giw and being so wary of more humans, and this place full of friendly ghosts would be so enticing. ghosts that don't try to immediately wreck his shit? ghosts that get territorial but are also extremely welcoming and have a habit of letting new kids into their haunt? the batfam who've dealt with the paranormal before and wouldn't give a shit? that's a normal tuesday for them babes. like please, danny just found heaven and it's in gotham.

despite all the "batfam adopts danny" aus i've seen, i rarely see people mention the ghosts of dead family members who would absolutely still be there and would definitely want to help danny :(

[rxttenfish]

google search why is the "golden retriever but a person" my least favorite type of character ever. why do i hate every sunny, genuine, kind-hearted character that gets presented to me over and over. why is this so miserable for me.

[pennamepersona]

woke up thinking about the narrative use of astarion & how weird it is that his personal quest doesn't tie into the main narrative At All bc something is wrong with me, etc

ftr, i'm saying all of this as a bigtime astarion fan. love this guy. i keep romancing him and it's begun to feel like a cry for help. And Also, @ larian it's really fucking weird that you made a guy who doesn't tie into the plot at all

i'm putting the rest of this under a readmore. also i'm maintagging this mostly just for being able to find it later, if anybody wants to come @ me then pls know i basically never engage w/ tumblr and you'll probably be disappointed.

best i have for a real justification is that astarion exists in part for players who want to be Evil And Fucked Up. none of the other companions are fully down with using the tadpole powers or trying to take over the cult. and it is genuinely good to have a companion who gives you that option! if players who wanted to explore the fucked up options had complete disapproval from every companion, it would be kinda feelbad and make those options feel less like a real choice you're allowed to make.

why does that matter re: astarion being entirely detached from the main narrative? thank you for asking. it means that "guy who is down for being fucked up and taking over the cult" doesn't come across as secretly being in league with the bad guys the whole time. astarion having no link to ketheric, orin, or gortash means that his power play ideas don't make you suspicious that he's been lying to you and is just waiting to deliver you to the Chosen.

to be clear: still weird that he has no direct tie-in. but this is the best reason i could think of for why he'd be so completely not involved.

the other Point Of Him, i think, is for The Dark Urge. it's no secret that astarion is a killer parallel for durge. i'm not gonna go into that but goddamn, i love it.

and if we're looking at things from the durge perspective, i think it kinda works for astarion to be so detached. he then becomes Random Baldurian Affected By Durge's Actions and it adds more strength to him also functioning as a piece of nuance for the tadpoles. he's the only one who directly benefits from the tadpoles existing! and that on its own is a cool bit of narrative. i think the durge side of things makes astarion's narrative tie in just a bit more. we've now got Dude Who Was Saved By Player Character (Albeit Unintentionally). i think it adds more depth to the durge narrative, and if the dark urge was the only non-origin option and tav didn't exist, i think it makes astarion's lack of narrative relevance a bit less glaring.

tldr; useful for the guy who's down to be fucked up to not be involved with the villains At All so you don't get suspicious of him and the option to be fucked up feels like more of a real option

(also tasty durge & astarion narrative depth)

[jikigo]

you ever just see a post and just

. 😭

.⬅️🫀⬅️

[thebleedingeffect]

It's one of those nights where I can feel the childhood neglect, isolation, and loneliness creeping up on me like some kind of familiar, hungry wolf

[sk3l3t0n444]

i feel like everybody hates me, but especially those who i look up to...i feel like a little kid again...looking up to those who only look down upon me, instead of picking me up and embracing me.