#but saying that I 'need to do better' or that I am 'basically the same as the enemy' is like... bestie...

[hunkygreenbean]

The fact that there are mfs with the nads to talk about "AfAb PrIvEleDGE" in the comments of my Sam Nordquist post disgusts me to my very soul. A human being, with a family, dreams, hobbies, a job, friends, was taken from this world in a very slow cruel way, who just so happened to be a trans man. And all you little shit stains care about is using this as an opportunity to further demean trans men. If this was a trans woman who was victimized and trans men + their supporters were doing and saying the same shit y'all are saying right now, mfs would be doxxed, inboxes flooded, accounts banned.

The reason why we don't have that many stats on IPV or murders of trans men is because they are recorded as female. If Sam's family hadn't already filed a missing person's report that specified that he was transgender and if they had never come forward when his body was recovered, chances are he would have been written off as a cis woman.

People are dying, dead, and more are going to die in the coming years as a result of Trump 2.0. If you're sitting here and claim that there's some magic privilege trans men get because of their genitals or gender, then you need to sit down and reevaluate your beliefs. Trans men are still at risk for discrimination, violence, rape, kidnapping, and torture just as trans women are. Patriarchy doesn't differentiate between flavors of transness, we're all faggot degenerate trannies to the system. Transness is in inherent opposition to patriarchy. Genitals or gender identity do not make someone ontologically evil and bad. Good fucking grief, never in my life did I think I'd need to constantly dumb down basic intersectionality and solidarity and repeat it over and over again in the year 2025, but here we fucking are!

We've gone through so many of these phases where we attack another queer group for the most inane shit imaginable. When will you little fucks finally unpack your internalized fascism?? When will you finally kill the cop in your head??? It better be soon, because shit is only gonna get worse from here. Will "AFAB privilege" still exist when we're all in camps?

A man that was part of our community has died. Can you swallow your pride and come together with the rest of us to support his family and the rest of our community for five fucking seconds??? Jfc.

EDIT: It has come to my attention that the person who originally made the post in my comments actually supports trans men and made that comment sarcastically. I have apologized to this person, however I do feel that this post should remain up. Transandrophobia is still a real issue that must be combatted. I reacted so strongly because I live with and am very close friends with a trans man. I see how this strain of "feminism" has harmed him. These beliefs have tangible effects irl. I know somewhere out there, on Tumblr or elsewhere, there are people making light of Sam's death because of his AGAB and gender identity. I know its happening because I've seen this movie a million times. Y'all clown on trans men + mascs whenever they try to speak up on the minor stuff they face, so it would not be a big leap for folks to throw around "theyFAB" or other horrible slurs for this person. Tranandrophobes and excorsexists downplayed and mocked the death of Nex Benedict, so it would not surprise me if the same thing was happening in their little forums with Sam Nordquist.

[hurtspideyparker]

Avengers' Galentine's Day 💕

"You may be wondering why I've convened you here today."

Natasha looks around the table at the men, hands clasped and back straight. Bruce, Peter, Sam, and Bucky sit around her.

Peter perks up. "I'm just happy to be here, thank you for inviting me Ms. Romanoff!"

"You can call me Natasha. And don't make me regret it," she says pointedly.

Peter nods furiously, leaning in intently as she speaks again.

"Valentine's Day is tomorrow, and to my knowledge all of you are single. And my knowledge is always correct. So, I propose a Galentine's Day."

The men all share awkward looks.

"We're all...dudes."

"Yes, thank you Sam. I wasn't aware." She says sharply before continuing.

"Listen, contrary to popular belief around here, I am a woman. I want to do woman things. But Wanda has a boyfriend, Pepper is working, and Maria is out of the country. So, I'm left with you doofuses."

"Hold on, hold on," Sam puts a hand up, "why wouldn't we think you were a woman? I mean we treat you like a friend and not a sex object. That's not treating you like a man."

Natasha holds up a hand and starts counting on her fingers.

"You two were making fart noises and giggling during breakfast with me sitting right there, and only stopped when Pepper walked in for a bagel," she looks between Sam and Peter.

"You offered me your 3-in-1 when I forgot my toiletries bag on mission," she nods to Bruce.

"And you—" she raises her eyebrows at Bucky, "handed me a cup when I said I needed to pee during that road trip out West."

The men all turn to Bucky.

"Jus' instinct. My bad." he hunches under their scrutiny.

"What kinda road trips you going on man," Sam asks.

"Clearly not the same ones as you."

"CleArLy—"

"Anyways!" Natasha interrupts, "You owe me. And if you say no you're probably sexist. Who's in?"

Peter's hand shoots up enthusiastically, and the others reluctantly follow.

"Great! We need someone on decorations, someone to plan an activity, someone on dinner, I'll prepare the snacks, and then someone on drinks. Alcoholic and non. And yes this all has to be Valentine's theme. So...who knows a good balloon place?"

Sam gets dinner, Bucky drinks, Bruce on the activity, and Peter decorations.

"You're all capable people so do not call me every second asking stupid questions. Figure it out, it better be amazing. Steve and Tony are leaving at 6pm for their date and won't be back till late, so we have the place to ourselves. The dress code is red white and pink, be there or be square."

With that Natasha is up and breezing down the hall.

"Why do I feel guilty and manipulated at the same time. What just happened." Bruce contemplates.

"Spies man," Sam shakes his head.

Peter rolls his eyes, "you guys are so lame. Do you know what this means? Chocolate covered strawberries. Heart shaped balloons. Fun games. Frosting—I basically lived off of Red 40 when I was 13. And I like hanging out with you all, what's the difference now that it's Valentine's?"

"The difference is I have to party plan, and I can't go to the bar and flirt with lonely singles." Sam complains.

Peter shrugs and gets up from the table. "That's weird, and you're no fun. Later losers!"

Bucky crosses his arms and sinks into the chair. "Why is it Ms. Romanoff and Mr. Stark, but we're losers?"

"Probably because you two are morons and he beat your asses before his balls dropped." Bruce says nonchalantly, picking up his tablet and pulling out his reading glasses.

˖°. ⋆ ♡ ˖°. ⋆

Peter gets to work first, calling May because he has zero experience decorating anything, let alone a holiday themed girls' (?) night.

"Dollar store helium balloons. Honestly, dollar store for most of it; look in the Valentine's section. Also maybe ribbon, place settings, and of course flowers. And don't you dare leave the flowers in the plastic Peter Benjamin Parker—"

Peter finds most of what he needs at the dollar store, and then finds a red and white checkered tablecloth at the thrift store.

The day of he sets the table with heart doilies, pink dishware that Pepper found for him, and some random candles. The odd assortment makes it look rustic, and not like he stole them from people's rooms in the tower. (Wanda had a candle that smells like lavender! Score!)

He sets the balloons loose onto the ceiling and shrugs a good enough when they seem evenly spaced. He uses Mr. Stark's credit card to buy the flowers, because holy bejesus, 60 dollars for plants that aren't even going to make it to next month?! He fixes them up nice, an assortment in varying shades of pink with small white flowers in-between, and puts them in a vase he found when dumpster diving. He hangs streamers and heart garlands on the walls, and uses some Valentine's confetti to just... throw around. It looks like the dragon of capitalism threw up on all the flat surfaces, and Peter dusts his hands off with a job well done.

˖°. ⋆ ♡ ˖°. ⋆

Sam knows how to be romantic. He does not, however, know how to be "cutesy".

All his normal romantic dinner ideas go flying out the window—he is not ordering steak and salmon for a bunch of dudes and a minor, thank you very much.

The only thing he could find that would fit the theme without being romantic was heart-shaped pizzas. It sounds like the perfect party food and just might avoid disappointing a woman who carries a dozen weapons on her at all time (half of which are just the ways she can use her body with lethal force).

He calls five pizza shops trying to place a catering order for the 14th, receives a cacophony of "fuck you"s, "do you know what day that is? Do you know what day today is?", and some immediate hang ups before deciding that homemade pizzas are way more fun and creative anyways, and does a quick grocery shop.

˖°. ⋆ ♡ ˖°. ⋆

Bruce looks through blogs with pictures of millennial blonde women telling him about "great ideas for girls' night!" and finds his task far more difficult than anticipated.

Friendship bracelets? Clashing aesthetics aside, they'd probably rain down in a mess of beads mid-fight. He does not want to Home Alone his friends (don't even get him started on Hulking out).

Decorate your own hair accessories? He's not sure how the physics of trying to clip a hair bow onto Sam's head would work. Bucky and Natasha might appreciate a good claw clip though.

What he does land on is making clay fridge magnets. They have... a fridge. How hard can painting be?

He also pulls out Uno and Avengers Edition Guess Who—they get sent a lot of promotional items. Collectively their favourite was the Ben & Jerry's Super ice cream line, they bought a whole other freezer for it.

˖°. ⋆ ♡ ˖°. ⋆

Bucky buys 3 bottles of rosé, 2 tequila, 1 vodka, red jello packets, pink lemonade, edible glitter, and strawberry milk.

˖°. ⋆ ♡ ˖°. ⋆

Natasha placed an order for a beautiful array of cupcakes, chocolate covered strawberries, and a charcuterie board back in December.

She only waited so long to invite her guests because she wasn't sure how they'd react to her wanting a nice girly party. Her options were already slim to begin with, and it felt weird inviting a bunch of dudes to something she's been planning for months with the ridiculous expectation she'd magically have more women in her life.

Either way, she's determined to have a great night. These are some of her closest friends, why would it matter if they're men?

˖°. ⋆ ♡ ˖°. ⋆

"Maybe I should have been clearer about the dress code."

Natasha is wearing a beautiful red dress; mid-length, thin straps, and a plunging neckline. It fits her curves beautifully, emphasizing her hips in a silky fabric.

The men took the dress code in a...different direction.

Bruce is wearing jeans and a maroon cardigan.

Sam has a white button-up and a red tie, cuffs rolled up to the elbow, and nice black slacks.

Peter is wearing pink hello kitty pajama pants and a white t-shirt with an anatomical heart diagram.

Bucky is adorned in his usual black cargo pants and a baby pink hoodie.

The men all assess each other's outfits, eyes reflecting uncertainty. Sam in particular seems at odds with Bucky's pastel fashion choice.

"Where'd you get that sweater? I thought your favourite colour was "dark" and your closet consistent exclusively of black, noir, midnight, and charcoal."

Bucky seems content despite the fashion being out of his comfort zone. The soft warm colouring makes him seem sweet and approachable despite his perpetual glower.

"I don't know, it just turned like this one day. It used to be white."

Sam narrows his eyes, "I think you messed up your laundry dude."

"I thought this was just something that happened with your fancy machines. I like dark colours, so. I wouldn't know if this was normal."

"Did you wash it with something red? Used hot water?"

"I don't own any red."

Sam exchanges skeptical looks with the other confused Avengers, except Peter, who's completely turned away from them all and observing the wall.

"Peter." Natasha asks.

"Mhm?" he says, back still turned.

"You wouldn't happen to know something about this would you?"

Peter rocks back and forth on his feet, arms swinging like he hadn't a care in the world.

"Not a clue Ms. Ro—Natasha. I haven't the faintest idea."

"The kid did something to your laundry."

"Hey!" Peter spins around. "That is a wild accusation."

"Look me in the eyes and tell me you didn't do it."

Peter matches her unwavering stare, "I! ...Maybe put some of Spider-Man's things in the machine. It was already going and it was just socks—why would I start a new load for socks!"

"When the load that's already going is whites. Honestly, as a society shouldn't we have moved past separating colours? Cold water people, cold water." Bruce trails off.

Sam claps him on the shoulder with a "preach it brother!" while pumping his other fist in the air.

Natasha slices her hands through the air in an 'enough' motion.

"It's fine, it's fine. We're here, we're dressed, Peter managed to do a nice job decorating," Peter grins and shoots her two thumbs up, "so let's get the party started."

Natasha turns on some music while Sam grabs everything out of the fridge.

"We're gonna make heart pizzas! Thought I'd add a little fun and personality to the whole dinner affair."

Natasha looks him up and down.

"All of the pizza places told you to fuck off didn't they?"

"Loudly and immediately."

Her lips quirk subtly and then she helps him set the table up and pass out dough. Sam sighs in relief at the micro expression of joy.

The table is full of chatter and warmth, toppings being passes around. Peter sings along to Blank Space by Taylor Swift with an alarming passion, and Sam absolutely kills everyone with his rendition of Single Ladies by Beyoncé, even getting a chuckle from Bucky. There is a short stint between Natasha and Bruce in which she sees how many green peppers she can place on his pizza without him noticing after he said he didn't like the fruit.

"But you like red?"

"Red has flavour, green things all taste like water or small talk."

The answer was 6 before he noticed.

They take turns playing Avengers Guess Who while they wait for all of their food to cook. Peter and Sam are against each other as Natasha eats her fresh pizza.

"Is your character a man?"

Sam's eyebrows furrow. They just started the game, and already he's stumped.

"I don't know dude, I don't even know if he's got any junk in his trunk."

"Oh, so Vision?"

"Dammit!"

Bucky and Natasha go next.

"Would your character wear his own branded underwear?"

"Yes." Natasha replies immediately. "Would your character be picked for a stealth mission?"

"Nope," Bucky answers as he finishes flipping down his characters. He only has 3 left.

"Has your character had a press scandal in the last 6 months?"

Natasha thinks for a moment, "yes. Is your character Bruce?"

Bucky groans and slams down the last character he had up.

"Yeah. And yours was Tony."

"Indeed it was. Should have guessed when you had 3, better to gamble than play it safe." Bucky rolls his eyes but nods in agreement.

Bucky gets all of his drinks out while they eat, pouring lemonade and tequila haphazardly into their cups, stirring in glitter with an unenthusiastic flare.

"Voila."

Peter looks on.

"What about me?"

Bucky reaches back into the fridge and pulls out a litre of pink strawberry milk.

"Ta-da."

Peter looks at it with befuddlement.

"What, you want the glitter too?"

"Not a fan of micro plastics, thanks."

Bucky shrugs and pushes the jug of milk towards him.

˖°. ⋆ ♡ ˖°. ⋆

"Fridge magnets!"

They all stare at Bruce.

"Magnets! For our fridge!"

"And this made you think of us?" Sam asks.

Bruce throws his hands up. "I don't know man! Would you have preferred wine glass painting?"

Sam holds his palms towards Bruce in a soothing manner. "Struck a nerve there..." he whispers to Bucky.

Despite their apprehension they fall into a nice rhythm of sipping and shaping. The clay starts coming together under their palms; Bruce a pair of glasses, Peter an Iron Man mask, Natasha a pair of ballet slippers, Sam a set of sprawling wings and Bucky a kitten.

"You a cat guy?" Sam asks him.

"Is there something wrong with that?"

Sam's eyes flit between the small cat ears being shaped by gruff hands and the shadowed face of the taciturn super soldier.

"Naw, just didn't peg you as a cat guy. Or an animal guy. Or a loving guy."

Bucky stares at him for a moment before stretching a fist out and smashing Sam's wings-in-progress.

"Hey! Foul, foul! Natasha are you going to just let this happen?"

"It's Bruce's activity."

"Hulk smash."

˖°. ⋆ ♡ ˖°. ⋆

As the night progresses the adults become more and more tipsy, grazing the charcuterie board and sweets on the table.

"AH oh GOD what did you make these with, battery acid?!"

Everyone turns to Peter who's standing in the refrigerator door, holding a cup of half eaten red Jello.

"Oh, I forgot about those. They're Jello shots."

Peter balks at Bucky, "as in alcohol?!"

He rushes to the sink and tilts his head sideways under the faucet, water blasting onto his tongue.

"Well, that's dramatic."

"That is the most disgusting thing I've ever tasted. Why on Earth would you ruin perfectly good Jello like that?"

Bucky grabs the tray of Jello shots from the opened fridge, placing them on the table and handing them out to the adults.

"Cheers," they tap the plastic cups before shooting the gelatin down their throats to the sound of Peter spluttering in the sink. Bucky and Natasha's go down smoothly, Sam chokes a bit at the awkward chunk of food heating his throat, and Bruce spends 30 seconds trying to scoop the Jello out of the cup with an uncomfortable combination of finger and tongue action.

"How do you even know about Jello shots, you're like...old." Peter remarks once he's taken a few gulps of pink lemonade to wash down the aftertaste.

"How do you know about Jello shots, you're like...uncool." Bucky retorts. Natasha snorts and Sam bursts out laughing. Even Bruce chuckles.

"Dr. Banner," Peter whines at him.

"Sorry kid, but he's got a point. What kind of kid spits out a Jello shot. It's free, sugary, no-repercussions alcohol."

Peter just sits down with a pout and continues to sip on his lemonade.

˖°. ⋆ ♡ ˖°. ⋆

The night gets later, the adults more inebriated as they finish painting their magnets.

Sam has eaten all the salami off the board and Peter has taken to throwing the disproportionate amount of cheese leftover at people. Bucky is on his third cupcake, and Natasha keeps giggling into her cup of tequila.

"What if he was blue—" Sam starts cracking himself up, hovering a paintbrush near Peter's Iron Man face.

"I don't understand what's so funny about that. Stop, Sam stop!"

As the boys fight over the paint, Natasha and Bruce go with a quick all-over glaze of colour and then add the sealant and magnet before the others even make it to a second shade. Bucky paints his cat with an air of intense concentration, one even Sam doesn't want to go near.

Their finished magnets get placed onto fridge.

˖°. ⋆ ♡ ˖°. ⋆

The whole group seem to be moving around and restless, chaotic and boisterous. Sam complains loudly about the romcom they put on in the background, Peter, Bruce, and Bucky play a rapid round of Uno, and Natasha keeps popping in and out of rooms with a different cookie and drink in her hand each time.

Bruce starts to get weepy when he pronounces uno, mumbling something about being "uno" forever through a drunken tongue and snot as Peter rubs his back.

The next time they turn around Natasha and Bucky are on the other couch making out.

"Gross! No! No romance on Galentine's Day!" Peter shouts, throwing pillows and pink m&ms at them until they pull away. Peter couldn't see much other than the back of Bucky's head, but he shivers in disgust at the sight of reddened lips.

He starts counting down the time on the clock until Tony and Steve are said to come home. While the snacks, games, and company have been fantastic, the adults are becoming far too...exuberant for his taste.

Bruce is a weepy drunk, Sam simply annoying, Natasha is sneaky and suspiciously absent for odd lengths of time, and Bucky...

"Hey! What did I say!" Peter dumps his glass of water onto the brunet, watching him jerk his lips off of Sam's in dissatisfaction.

"I swear I'll get a spray bottle. Bad Bucky." he says before continuing to the bathroom.

He finds the door open and Natasha standing at the mirror, curling her hair.

"Why?"

Natasha just shrugs.

˖°. ⋆ ♡ ˖°. ⋆

The elevator finally dings a quarter to midnight.

"Oh thank goodness."

Steve and Tony exit with linked arms, broad smiles and sides pressed together in a matching gate.

Peter rushes up to them, backpack in hand as he starts shedding his t-shirt and socks.

"Woah there cowboy, I did not sign up for that kind of rodeo" Tony alarms.

Peter just pulls out his spider suit and starts slipping it on over his state of undress.

"Tell Natasha I had a great time, but I'm expeditiously out of here. Bruce is still hung up on his ex, Natasha feels distanced from her femininity and is trying to regain her girlhood, Bucky's a slut, and Sam is so totally tapping that tonight. I'd like to be far, far away when that happens."

Peter pulls on the final piece of the suit, masking up and sending enthusiastic waves to the couple.

"Hope your date was nice! This is not my problem anymore."

And then he scampers to the balcony and swings off into the night.

The couple share wide eyes, listening to the odd sound of their friends and the booming TV playing a romantic 90s soundtrack.

Is someone crying?

Steve turns away from Tony and steps towards the living area, but Tony doesn't loosen his hold on the other's arm, making his steps stutter to a stop immediately.

"Shouldn't we go check on them? Sounds like the party was too much of a hit."

Steve looks over at the empty bottles of wine and tequila tipped on the kitchen counter. There's food, half fallen streamers, and Uno cards everywhere.

"Right now? That is not our problem."

"But—"

Tony slinks forward, pressing their chests together and wrapping his arms around the Captain's neck, wide-eyed browns meeting baby blues.

"It's still Valentine's, and I have a far more pressing problem for you."

Steve stares mesmerized under Tony's touch, the man sly and hot against his front. They're close, close enough to feel...

"Oh! That's—"

"Mhm."

"Okay. Yeah, they'll be fine till morning."

Tony smirks and Steve matches his smile, moving his hands to his lover's waist before walking him backwards.

Tony allows himself to be guided to their bedroom without breaking eye contact, blocking all thoughts of the other Avengers with a slam of the door and giggling open mouthed kisses.

[roxxiies]

Hearts, chocolates, and giggles

synpss: mlbb men and woman matches valentine skins with you. gn!reader, fluff, valentine's day (matching couple) skins

ft: gusion, fredrinn, claude, hayabusa, beatrix, ling, moskov, hanzo

Oh, he’d be smug about it, no doubt.

Gusion brushes his fingers along the hem of your neck, making you flush red. “Sweet Valentine,” he chuckles, stealing a glance at his own outfit then back at your eyes, “A couple's look, huh? Don't mind if we do.”

He's immediately on the battlefield, stepping up his game, and earning kills over kills. All at the same time, flawlessly flexing his skin and going full on carry mode just to make sure the matching outfits don't go to waste.

“I bet our combo would be better due to our outfits. Y’up for practice?”

He’d pretend to be less interested, but if you push a little, Fredrinn would shrug and say, "Fine. But don’t expect me to start acting all sweet and romantic..."

If the skin is elegant and stylish, he might actually enjoy it. If it’s too pink or cutesy, expect him to complain nonstop—but still wear it anyway.

If you get attacked in-game, he’d immediately charge in and tank the damage like it’s personal.

He’d flex it in-game but in a way that seems effortless. "Look at us, turning heads already. Try to keep up, will you?"

Matching with Claude makes you think you have your own child. Because if he has matching outfits with you, then Dexter must have one too.

In the battlefield, Claude will be so giddy the whole game, flexing the skin because he's in love with the effortlessly shining outfit. But will often be ruined by a certain monkey when it notices he's hogging up all your attention again.

“Hey—! Dexter, stop that! They're not matching with you, I am!” But either way, you'd be smiling and giggling about their bickering and he'd be happy he made you smile.

Hayabusa would be so awkward about it. Wearing a matching couple skin would destroy his cool image. If you tease him, expect him to stumble over his words like, "I-It’s just a skin, alright?"

The moment you two appear in-game, he’s so focused on proving himself just so no one thinks he’s getting soft. But really? He kind of likes how it makes you both look like a well-made team almost like a couple. It makes him all warm inside that someone is on par with his skills.

If an enemy assassin rival sees it and taunts him? He’s diving straight into battle just to prove he’s still a menacing threat. He did.

Beatrix is a wild card. But someone to match that wildness needs a lot of work.

She'd be disappointed when you stressed that you wanted to play along with her as well but the enemies would just be afraid to approach you in fear of angering that one raging marksman.

The matching outfits seem like a mark of territory. The enemies just knew who not to mess with. But you'd scold her at the end of the game and she'll sulk before reluctantly letting you play normally the next game. She decides to just cheer you instead of camping in someone–

“Great job, sweets!! S’proud of you!!”

Ling would act indifferent at first but deep down, he's so flustered. Like him? And you? Ah, finally.

If the skins are elegant, he might play along. If they are overly romantic, he'd be so grumpy about it—but until he sees how good you look in it, he'd be often distracted during the game. Although he did carry early to mid game but expect him to disappear mid-game out of embarrassment due to those distractions. NWJS

“Sorry, it was so… uh, laggy. Yeah. But you look good in that…”

He's wearing it with zero emotion but actually, Moskov is really enjoying it.

He'd often stare at you from afar and when he was caught, he'd outright deny it, saying, “Just curious about the outfit.” Curious my ass. He's basically watching you like a hawk.

But if someone says anything about it—especially the enemies, they're getting speared immediately.

The moment you suggest matching Valentine’s skins, Hanzo would scoff. “Tch. Sentimental nonsense.”

But if you somehow convince him (or if you wear yours first and guilt-trip him), he’ll put it on begrudgingly. Expect him to act like he doesn’t care but absolutely refuse to take it off once it’s on. HAHA

His demon self would make it worse. Imagine his shadowy Oni teasing him like, “How romantic~” just to mess with him.

If an enemy assassin comments on it, he might go full rage mode out of embarrassment. Secretly, he enjoys how it makes him feel like someone was eager to match with him—but he’ll never admit it.

P.s. sorry guyss, my schedule yesterday was so packed!! Lolli dividers from @/dollywons

[sharklovingaquarist]

Hey! Well, to preface, I'll admit I myself am still an undergraduate (although I was in many biological science classes, still far from professional. I still believe I can ask questions because it is undeniable to me that science is based on a male perspective). I understand your gripe with the general, unprofessional nature of the word "conception." I myself use it because to me, the word "fertilize" seems like we are saying the sperm takes action against the egg. It makes it seem as if the egg is inviable or infertile until a sperm "penetrates" it. But eggs are more complex than sperm (if I remember correctly), so why isn't it that we word it as an egg fertilizing the sperm? I also made an inference based on the way people talk about reproduction outside of a scientific context. A mans sperm is sometimes called his "seed," but a seed is an embryonic plant, not a gamete. Another example would be the fact that eggs on their own are called "unfertilized." There's something off about the fact that there are "fertilized eggs," too. Maybe you could explain, but once sperm and egg unite, wouldn't it be considered a whole new thing (ex. zygote). To me, there doesn't seem to exist a vocabulary that depicts the action of sperm and egg uniting in a way that acknowledges female and male involvement, just male doing onto female. Again, this culture can be seen in how women are often treated as vessels for a fetus. I dont know if I made any sense there... I hope I did.

As for the actual mechanics, I very much thank you for your in-depth explanation! It was my mistake, I should have looked deeper into my claims as I only knew the general idea of gamete involvement in mate selection. I did look into the study you mentioned, very interesting!!! However, when I said that eggs chose sperm, I was alluding to the basic idea of eggs having a preference. I wasn't trying to be too specific because I didn't know all the details, but I should've elaborated 😬 but it still does prove my point. Eggs are (theorized) to be attracted to more compatible sperm from a certain mate. Even if it is not a choice between sperm from the same man, there is still interaction and choice on the female gamete. I guess my issue with the way we speak about reproduction is that it's almost worded in a way that portrays the egg as an inanimate house for a sperm.

I 100 percent also see your concern with this theory being misused. I think that comes down to people not understanding involuntary bodily functions and voluntary bodily functions. My concern is about the perception of the female body as a tool for males to use during procreation (I use that analogy a lot lmfao I'm a bit repetitive sometimes) not as a body that also puts in effort and has credibility during the process. Credibility other than "carrying a fetus."

As for this theory being correct, I'm unsure of its current status. However, looking at their findings, it's pretty convincing! I hope this can be the start of a more equitable science, to be honest. Maybe the female body is finally getting the credit it deserves, especially concerning our control and power in reproductive relationships. I mean, just from interacting with people in my area of study, they seem to forget about female mate selection ALL THE TIME. They insist that rape is a staple in nature, though from my observations its very inefficient! But that's a personal experience. Although I am still plenty ignorant on a lot of biological science, I do think my question has merit in some way. We do need to consider how males have vastly populated sciences. I mean, let's look at how little they even know about the female body. Just think of how much there's left to discover about our own bodies!

Thank you for your very respectful and educational addition. I understand where you are coming from with the religious part. To me, it just seems like "conception" acknowledges a team effort much better than fertilization (again, because it is worded as something a sperm bestows an egg. It appears, to me, that men have a bit of an obsession with controlling or defining a female body through their actions). Really, it may come down to our own personal opinions. Im a very unorthodox person with science, but I believe there is a place for questioning things within our studies. When I said, "My hands are tied academically," I was more talking about the fact that when I DO go to specialize in my selected fields, my unprofessional view will not be accepted.

Alright, sorry for yapping so much. I hope this cleared things up because it may or may not have 😛

Edit: And I would also love to include that the fact that so many sperm die before meeting the egg seems like a test in itself to weave out the weak ones and only include the best of the best haha 😈 sorry for any confusion I have caused or any misinformation I have spread. This was a great lesson in really diving into the things I say.

No @anomalys-bane you do have a point. I have many posts that concern the reproductive process and our wording of it. It always relies on the perception of a female vessel being done to by a male catalyst. You are the machine he operates. If men are feeling gracious, they'll say you're the goddess of life or whatever bullshit, but then word it as if they grant us permission to our "power to create life." I often talk about how I am going into zoological fields and how I am invested in animal hobbies (including breeding animals). The male ego is so vast, so prevalent, that a vocabulary does not exist to properly describe this process. I try my hardest, but academically, my hands are tied. I know later on I'll be corrected for not following the science made to make men feel more important than they are. More in control than they are. More credible and powerful. Fertilization, I try to replace with conception. We now know that eggs choose sperm, but that will never be integrated into our dialog as scientists. It's been a male field, it continues to be so. Women who enter don't question, I feel as if they actually enjoy this view of themselves bestowed to them by male overlords. As for "impregnation," I try to avoid seeing pregnancy as a direct action of a male and more as a process. Conception is male, "impregnation" is not. We become pregnant when an embryo attaches to our uterus, not when a sperm enters our uterus. Pregnancy is not an action done to by the male, it is a result of two people acting together. I refuse to see it as a man putting an embryo inside of me. He ejaculates inside of a woman so his sperm can meet her egg, not so he can impregnate her. The wording makes it seem as if she has no effort in the matter, when eggs are a more complex gamete than sperm is.

Basically, our view is heavily male centered. Most things are. It's miserable being in this field.

Edit: I feel as if I should provide an explanation for my take on female creation being the wrong way of viewing gestation. You have to see the process for how it is. People on the one side must stop acting as if female bodies are tools, and people on the other side must stop glorifying the female body in an inhuman, deified way. It is neither of the two radical ideas. Females do not create life through pregnancy. Females and males create life through conception (albeit NOT sentience, this is a process, after all. Sentience is achieved by an individual after birth). A bird chick forms away from a female in an egg. The truth of pregnancy is that it closely resembles parasitism. It's not a perfect definition because it can benefit females in the case of a healthy, stable-minded female spreading her genetics (impossible in our modern society imo). However, my point is that the fetus leeches nutrients from the female body. The female body is a nutrient source, not a machine that stitches together arms, legs, and a torso. The embryo is able to build parts to its body because of the nutrients it steals. The true power of female reproduction comes from our ability to withstand this. Endurance. But males are unable to eat their pride and admit this proves our capability, so then we become either vessels or artistic creators. We can not be strong in the same sense they are.

The female body should strive to be neutral. Not an inferior, not a deity. The fact is women have had their identities repressed for so long that we have no idea how to stay in the lines of humanity. I will say, though, that the women who glorify their female bodies are much MUCH better than those who see it as inferior. It is just a nitpick I have

[thecircularsystem]

Circ's Switching Advice

The number one thing to remember when it comes to switching and learning to control, in our opinion, is compromise. You have to work together to switch, and that can be difficult.

Tips and tricks I've learned:

Grounding and meditation have helped a lot. When we're triggered, it's a lot harder to sit with myself and say, "Who do I need to help me handle this?" If you need to switch, stay calm and breathe.

We have found it easier with various visualizations. For instance, when we switched today, Ve imagined herself flying out of the fronting circle -- but she was in too much pain from our headache to switch. So instead, she visualized me coming over and patting her shoulder, which I did. Then, I was close enough to take the control, and she could go lay down.

In connection with that above bullet, visualization helps in the outerworld too. We found it helped us a lot when we started writing our experiences through the lens of a robot with multiple "cores" who represented our alters. When the bot switched, the color of its UI switched as well to the colors we associate with. Now, when we switch IRL, we visualize our eyes changing color to the associated color, which helped to ground our switches more in reality.

We found it helped to have an accountability buddy for switching, in this case our spouse @circulars-singlet. They will remind us of how long we've been out, which in turn makes us think, "hey, you're right, I tend to get burned out if I'm out that long. How am I doing?" Those check ins are really helpful. They'll also remind us if we said we wanted to switch.

We sometimes have found it helps to focus on the feeling of our body while switching. For instance, Numb when he fronts tends to have a better posture than us, so if we want to switch to Numb, we often straighten our posture. It's kinda like... we make the house something the person would like to live in if we want them to come to the house, yknow?

We also used to use music to help switches along. Still works to this day. Roy's the only one who likes country, so hearing country music helps get him closer to front. Same with vocaloid for Tavi and swing for Numb.

Communication is vital, however you end up doing it. We've basically always been able to contact one another, but we have used journals before to do so. If you want someone to switch in soon, maybe writing them a note or calling out to them innerworld would be a good idea. Making them aware of that desire in any way is a great call.

Connected to that and compromise, it can sometimes be hard to suggest someone come and take the burden. We actually still are struggling with this concept. Asking someone to switch in is hard, because we understand how difficult life can be, and it's hard to ask someone to take that burden on. Our therapist has been working with us to view it more as "Thank you for your help" and less "Sorry for what I'm doing to you."

I'm starting to run out of steam, sadly, but please folks, feel free to chime in with your own ideas.

[hinamie]

playing around w slightly different hair renders

[labradorite-princess]

Someone yell at me.

I'm skin picking the sores I've made on my face.

[gigantomachylesbian]

Guys. I did not know before now that writing could be painfully millennial in a full prose book but the pho*nix ke*per has proven me wrong and I have to complain about it in the tags

[unproduciblesmackdown]

"normal" meaning "unquestionable" & the embrace of that cropping up anywhere such as an aim to be on the unquestionable side of a Normal / Weird binary, thus surely being a comfortable effortless indelible version of Good that stems from "just be normal"

ppl out here like freud 2.0 where well they had the sufficiently normal Nuclear Household family(tm) experience so they're sufficiently normal for it, versus the weirdos who had the Questionable family times so as to end up with Issues, surely unlike all those who are Family Issue free, i.e. normal, no question. like how also Going To School is Normal, so of course there's that idea that anyone who didn't go to school normal style or did but Did That Wrong are the people made Weirder with Issues. & when what's Normal is what's Good is what's Unquestionable it's like why would i need to question it when it's so normal? why wouldn't some rando asshole nepo man be Meritous & Good at business when he's so Successful at it. speaks for itself, same as Your role of being treated entirely differently does, this can't be questioned, blame it on your own failures; again how the supposedly "questionable" experiences (unlike other ones, which need no Legitimate questioning) are pathologized like. people talking about disabled ppl's lacking "social skills" being this meaningful Driver of ableism just like poor people's lacking "financial literacy" being that darn cause of classism & resource extraction, the already Questioned vulnerable [you're just doing it wrong / failing] people are the cause of their own mistreatment, Normal people who are so socially & financially successful are helpless, this victim blaming (can't question it. Normal) sure totally doesn't speak to abuse being "normal" as well

which, good thing abuse totally isn't Normal i.e. in the territory of unquestionable things (with, obviously, the idea that Abuse (Real abuse, if you like) must be Exceptional in addition to, if not to Really be, "obviously" questionable) since if something can't be questioned then surely it's also How Things Were In The Beginning, Are Now, & Ever Shall Be (catholic prayer paraphasing re: god, for referential context) & there's just nothing to do but invest in & play into it For Success & resent / punish / try to eliminate disruption, like people just existing but doing it Weird, c'mon, be a better person please, obviously....meanwhile people out here approaching queerness in a way that accepts & acts according to the unquestionable normal of abuse of queerness, such that oh the "abnormality" of being queer (that is, "normal" people's abuse in the face of awareness of queerness) is unquestionable, such that Oh No, investment in that abuse now & forever world without end amen, & now punching down on the people who are just Being Weird & Disrupting this embrace of the norm: radfems invested in "all bodies will be classed as men & women & the former abuse the latter" & hate women who already disrupt this premise; pointing out ace exclusionism as terf logic just applied in the different context where queer vs nonqueer binary is neatly detected just as the gender binary is & people who already prove that & the way it's defined is not the case are the real problems, infiltrating Unquestionable (Normal) Queerness & delegitimizing it i.e. being The Cause of e.g. homophobic abuse, which will also unquestionably exist, so if we're gonna blame someone as Needing To Change it'll have to be uhhh already also affected Weird people who are ruining things, they're the Real causes of this abuse, so they're basically men, basically cis, basically straight. boooo to trans ace bi pan aro nonbinary gnc people....hardest to be binary gender "same sex" "romantic" "visible" Truly Queer couple currently holding hands in public or in front of family, & it's You Mfs who make it harder, not, yknow, the people who were already always embracing & perpetuating the abuse bolstering Normal(tm) Cishet Just Being Normal. and of course don't forget going after poly people & others disrupting / not accepting premises about Unquestionable Relationship Structures/Requirements. so not just being normal

also the beloved concept broken out that, of course, Being Normal = Being Good, b/c hello, unquestionable?? where it's like meaningless ideas that abuse is Abnormal like ":( hurt people hurt people" (inherently a framing to counter any response to [person is hurting me] that's not silent secret sympathy forever i guess. nobody's using this catchphrase to argue for Hey Quick let's all intervene to stop someone being hurt, lest they go on to hurt anyone themselves) like & yet everyone is hurt, yet not everyone is doing shit where these arguments are broken out after they're already getting away with nonsense & we're telling others to just stop complaining, while also not everyone isn't getting shit on for being "disruptive" & perchance the real hurtful problems for trying to Stop being shitted on, or just have a little more breathing room to day to day live while it happens. everyone's hurt bitch let's get you some "what's the actual patterns & context of supported power imbalance made emergently evident by whose choices & life are constrained & undermined & made smaller" like. or the expanded idea as that well all abuse comes from Being abused, i.e. the Cycle, never mind that abuse is everywhere as per its being Normal, & nobody's intervening every time it manifests despite its supposed exceptionality thus rareness & supposed indication that someone's Being abused to cause it. just gotta roll with it, wow. & pathologize being victim to it, abuser in the making, Vulnerable People are dangerous, those insulated & given more access to systemically backed power in an oh so Normal way are surely oh so Safe as well. the very rich families are all lovely havens. the abused people are treated so well & embraced & supported by all the more Normal people they encounter, certainly not Also isolated, bullied, victim blamed by these Normal friends family coworkers new partners randos in public randos who are "professionals"

but yknow uh literally just be normal lol. aaand post. and like "lol being Anti Being Normal? just like a weirdo" like yeah of course. and what, i'm gonna try to win the heart & mind of someone like "of course you have blue hair & pronouns" & convert them, as would definitely happen if only all transgenderists were Normal about it? and the perspective of "what Unquestionable Good is ever actually coming from striving to get to point at Others as Weird" involves going like "nooo i wanna see myself & be seen as Just Being Normal" instead of like having ideas / arguments about how to be considerate towards people which can be articulated in any other way & involve effort & said consideration (ft. anything able to be questioned)

[gregmarriage]

this was meant to be a funny post, but then it got deep imao

not a relationship person, but i believe in their beliefs

[moredifferentthanusual]

Hey people of tumblr I have an idea of a way to help support Gaza. This one's especially for people living in Christian areas with a lot of mainstream acceptance of israel. It's only a few days until Christmas and as for all Gazans, things are incredibly desperate for the small population of Christian Gazans. In particular here are some articles talking about fears all Christians in Gaza will be dead soon.

So how about we call up our local churches and ask what they're doing to help the people of Palestine?

The articles I've linked come from a variety of backgrounds. Some predate oct 7th. All focus on the plight of Christians in Palestine. Take your pick for what source you think will speak to your audience.

I want you to find a church that is ignoring the genocide or even praying for israel and then point out it's not just people being murdered. It's their people being murdered. Contact your local church like "Hey I'm Name, I'm not really a member of any church these days but it's Christmas and I really want to do something to help people in Palestine. I was wondering if you have something planned over Christmas? Maybe a prayer meeting or a protest or something idk 🥺" Then if you recieve any pushback switch to "oh but I'm just sooooo worried about our fellow Christians unable to celebrate Christmas".

It's a great place to ease people into caring about genocide who normally wouldn't. And if you convince a priest they might tell their whole congregation about how this christmas they have to show up for persecuted christians in jesus' birthplace. Worth a try?

[mariemariemaria]

i feel kinda crazy bc whenever i was a teenager i created this sorta imaginary older big sister who had moved out of the house so in my head i could live w her whenever i wanted bc she had survived it all and was independent and she would also just comfort me in a big sisterly way whenever something bad or upsetting happened and recently ive been going back to that at my big age 😭 and its kinda sad and also just wish fulfillment and also kinda scary bc i really used to think that by my age i'd have everything sorted but i really don't and i know that's normal and nobodies twenties are perfect but some people also have good relationships w their fathers which is crazy just to think about sooo

[bandzboy]

no but like people are insane sometimes. like you said it's all about setting boundaries, and i feel like people need to understand that everyone has problems and most of us have our own trauma too. i've had situations where people wanted to vent about something heavy but they asked me if i could handle it first bc they didn't wanna trigger me. and sometimes i was okay enough to hear about their trauma, other times i had to ask them if we could leave that conversation for another moment bc i was too overwhelmed by my own problems/trauma/depression. they ALWAYS respected it, and we came back to that topic at a better time. not everyone is gonna be ready to have that kind of conversation at ANY time, and it's not bc they don't care. if it's someone who's literally NEVER there for you at all then yeah maybe they're not really your friend. but if it's someone who just needs their own space to heal sometimes, or they can't handle a certain topic bc it's too triggering for them, then they shouldn't be treated like garbage. everyone should prioritize their own mental health, but you can't ask other people to put your mental health above their own 💀

no literally i agree! everyone has their shit to deal with and honestly i like to feel that my friends support me and if i need them to talk about stuff they will be there for me! there are times where i even have to process my own feelings before even talking about them since there are things that i don't even understand that is connected to something that happened in my past and there was a time when i was going through things when i was in my preteens and i did not have friends to talk with and genuinely kept it all in and obviously it wasn't good! talking with somebody about certain things also helps you understand the situation better and what to do next and i will say that having someone to talk to about anything and everything is such a luxury i always thought this! but yeah i feel like it all comes down to respecting and understanding the other person and creating boundaries i feel like this is the genuine basis of what a friendship/relationship honestly is because if you don't have this foundation you aren't exactly friends at all i would say like apparently people don't know that and it's quite concerning... it honestly makes me not even wanna trust more people because they might pull some shit like these people online are probably doing to their friends 😭

[pepprs]

discovered miah_pie on t*ktok (<- i don’t have one btw i just stumbled upon her bc someone i follow on ig talked abt her) and her videos make me want to cry so bad. 24 year old dependent moment

[jackass-jones]

Posts about bpd need to stop being so damn relatable to me 🤨

[nientedal]

This protest had solid intent but it's unfortunately really frustrating to read about. The article above does a good job of framing it positively, but most of the articles from more widely-read sources maintain focus on the Gala itself rather than the protest, because of course they fucking do; you are not going to have the reach doing this that you think you are unless you actually make it to the location where the event is held and can disrupt the photos, as we saw success with last week at the White House Correspondents Dinner. The odds of making it to the door without a plan are extremely slim, and sure enough, it did not happen this time. Protesters lingered in Central Park; those who did attempt to march on the Gala were blocked by police at every turn. If you're protesting an event as big as this one, you need a way to get your people to disrupt the event itself. At the bare minimum, you need an extensive network of media contacts pushing pushing pushing this on social media and in the news, or you are going to be drowned out by the spectacle.

I am absolutely not saying Don't Protest At Celebrity Events, but for fuck's sake, part of protesting is pushing your cause higher into the public consciousness and that is not going to happen here and it just drives me up the wall. You have to make sure you have laid the groundwork for your voice to be heard when you do something like this! You're marching against the goddamned Met Gala with no strategy to make you bigger and actually get you to the Met Gala? What?

I dunno. I see what they were trying to do, and it did get some news articles. But it does not seem to have succeeded in generating focus the way it would have if they had, you know, actually made it into the crowd at the door. I'm not reading that they had any plan to that effect and it's just so frustrating.

ANYWAY "nobody better be posting about" etc. etc. without also posting a link to a local bail fund if possible. In this case, that'd probably be the Action Bail Fund, which supports protesters in New York. Bucknell has a multi-state list of bail funds as well, though many of these are cause-specific. Do your own research, but please support protesters where you can.

(Here's also a link to a list of Palestinian fundraisers that I believe have been vetted as legitimate. Clicking here will generate a random fundraiser from that list; the website's About page says they prioritize fundraisers that haven't gotten as much attention or have stagnated. So, that's cool. Donate & signal boost, you know the drill; getting more eyes on aid will hopefully help individual people a bit more than just posting a vaguely guilt-trippy link and calling it good.)

nobody better be posting about the met gala without mentioning the giant pro-palestine demonstration going on outside