#anyone have any tips for me
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I have this little headcanon cause i was reading the comic of obey me and we as mc have been given the neutral name zephyr in the very early chapters since we are a sheep and all and they want to make it inclusive since the name itself is gender neutral but I was thinking that let's say one day the curse is solved and sheep!mc gets their body back but the characters continue calling mc zephyr, what if one day someone (probably a side or secondary character) brings up the fact that "hey you know what? Your face doesn't really scream zephyr" and mc is like "yeah that's because that is not my actual given name, my actual name is ________" and the characters are like "😱😱😱" I mean they did know that this wasn't their real name since they gave it to them cause they can't just call them human and all but it's still shocking to hear it coming out of their own mouth, they would also probably coo when mc tells them their birth name because it means they learn more about their favorite person, well I mean they would coo at everything mc does regardless so-
#i also want to add that mc saying their actual name would proably lead down to a whole other rain of questions#about where they are from what is their mother tongue blah blah blah#obey me#obey me lucifer#obey me shall we date#obey me x reader#obey me mammon#obey me barbatos#obey me beelzebub#obey me satan#feel free to add your own thoughts#obey me!#obey me imagines#diavolo obey me#belphegor obey me#obey me simeon#leviathan obey me#obey me luke#every time i write it always somehow ends up as a long ass paragraph one way or another does anyone have any tips?#im actually quite new to writing these are my pure thoughts slapped on the screen#obey me solomon#obey me mephistopheles#obey me nightbringer#obey me manga#obey me comic#obey me the comic#obey me leviathan#obey me levi#312005
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I think my ibispaint possessed... He kinda cute tho..
#does anyone have any tips on how to get him out?#wait a minute... did the ad change?#i swear it wasnt like that before..#obey me solomon#solomon#obey me
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every loona music video: heejin - vivid (acoustic ver.)
every day, there’s a flash in my heart, a shining rainbow.
#mine#gifs#loonamv#loona#heejin#i have not made a gif in 4 years...#if anyone has any tips#please let me know!#femaleidol#idolady
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I think I just realised that ever since the start of the year I’ve gotten really really really bad burnout/art block and I’ve got no idea why :( I used to draw multiple times a day all day every day with no issues, and now I struggle to pick up a pen once a week let alone finish a piece just for myself that isn’t for a deadline or anything and I’ve got no clue how to fix that, and it’s been making me feel super anxious about my art, so if after serennedy week posts are a little slow that’ll probably be why and I’m sorry in advance!!!!
#again I CANNOT express enough just how HARD I’m finding it to just sit down and DRAW even just the SMALLEST thing once a day and I#genuinely have no clue how to fix that so if anyone has any tips that’d be really really really appreciated :(#for me art is pretty much my entire life it’s the one thing I’m best at its what I’ve based my career goals and my life goals around and#it’s kinda like the one thing that keeps me going every day and without it I don’t know who IIII am if that makes sense??? so this#art block/burnout has ARGH!! it’s SUCKED!!!!! I’m so so sorry for the big ramble I promise I’ll be ok!!!
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Can you draw Arin and Danny from Game Grumps, but in Present Mic and Eraserhead’s hero outfits? I think their dynamics mesh well. (And perhaps Suzy in Midnight’s 👀)
Best I could do (i'm still sick)
#I havent drawn them since August wow#shocked I remember how#hey does anyone have any tips for getting rid of a tickly cough#game grumps#arin hanson#dan avidan#present mic#shota aizawa#also does anyone want to play webkinz with me
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warframe 1999 spoilers
dude i'm so so bad with these friendships/romance systems i swear to god, i wasn't sure why i felt so anxious when playing bg3 and was worried about making the wrong choice but I FEEL EVEN WORSE WITH WARFRAME WHY AM I LIKE THIS first of all i want them all to like me T T not even romantically but i just cant handle bad responses LMAO and second of all..... i'm just so curious about their replies to everythinggggggg i want to know all the paths and options! now i dont know, should i just wait till people come up with tutorials so i can pick the answers i want? :') but thats gonna take so long and im also excited to play and and ig thats like inauthentic but aaaa i dont know OTL im stressed out lmao I SHOULDNT BE SO STRESSED OUT ABOUT THIS why am i like this
and the fact that its like... in game? not a replayable thing like bg3 but youre stuck with your choices??/ T T i hate it here shdfsdfsdf
#warframe#warframe 1999#i blame my autism for the record#im a little control freak with rejection sensitivity dysphoria </3#i LOVE the chats dont get me wrong im just stupid and have faulty emotional regulation and cant be normal about things :D#anyways if anyone has any tips on how to deal with this shit let me know lol#i dont even care about romance THAT much so that also makes it difficult but i just want them to like me idk qwq help
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colouring sketchbook scans to get more familiar with csp :)
#idk what's in those brushes but i feel like i ascended#also i don't have a lot of practice drawing black hairstyles so if anyone's got any tips they'd be much appreciated! please be nice ;-;#anyway. watch me not be able to create anything remotely similar to this now in the near future#art#my art#my artwork#digital#digital art#drawing#flowers#digital artist#artwork#artists on tumblr#csp art#clip studio paint#clip studio art
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Can't stop thinking about wanting to make a video game :[ Don't know how to make a video game :[[ Could I find the time and strength needed to learn? Perhaps. But something will have to give in return :\
#for real i'd have to pass off some stuff i do for my business before there's any hope of having room for such things#to who and how and when? i do not know#plus since i just recently started doing tarot videos that's a decent chunk of free time now taken up with filming and editing#anyway i'm haunted by an idea for a picross x GROW x stardew sort of game#i want to play it but it doesn't exist#so must i make it? seems that way#i can do art of course and planning#and i have basic programming abilities#beyond that tho i know nothing#i'm considering picking up and messin' with gamemaker to see if that'd work as an engine for it and not be too difficult for me to learn#if anyone has any suggestions or tips pls let me know#ramblings#text post
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I’ve seen a few posts recently talking about how important it is for us to share our tips for dealing chronic illness with each other, and I’ve realized that as a freakishly avid community enthusiast, I’ve been falling down on the job. So, I present
Wellplacedbanana’s Ridiculously Long List of Tips for All Things Chronic Illness (Curated Over 8+ Years):
Infusion Centers
Headed to an infusion center to get that sweet sweet (expensive as hell) live-saving medication pumped directly into your veins? Here’s what I do.
Bring headphones or earplugs. Most infusion centers try to maintain a semblance of quiet for the patients, but it can get loud fast—beeping IVs, pulse ox monitors, loud families, codes. Some infusion centers do pods of multiple people and some do individual bays, so this can affect noise levels.
Drink lots of water before if you have to get an IV placed. Don’t worry too much about bringing a water bottle because they’ll give you one when you get there. (Of course, if you have something like POTS and need more intense hydration, bring the damn water bottle.) If you’re not hydrated and they can’t find a vein, they’ll call in the ultrasound tech, and they’ll bring the longest IV needle you’ve ever seen. It hurts. Drink water.
Bring a book or your Switch or something else to entertain you, but don’t expect to actually do it. I tried bringing papers to edit the first time because I was like “Oh it’s an hour and a half of uninterrupted free time. I can get so much done!” I was wrong. The nurses are constantly checking in for vitals, the unit can be loud, and I spent the whole time trying not to vomit everywhere. Different infusions will have different side affects. Knowing what yours might be will help you plan for what you want to bring. Knowing how long your infusion will be can also help. Most infusion centers have to keep you 20-45 minutes after your first dose of a new medication to make sure you don’t have an allergic reaction, so factor that into your time too.
If you’re in a pod with other patients who’re friendly and if you feel up to it, don’t be afraid to talk with them. Lots of them are lonely, bored, interested in other people, etc. I met an elderly Thai lady one time who had been there for three hours and would be there for another four AFTER I left. We talked about her husband and her kids, and she listened to me talk about punctuation as style in prose. It made me feel less alone in the medical system and helped distract me from the nausea.
Conversely, if you don’t want to interact with anyone, snap on those headphones and block everything out. The nurses will get your attention if they need you. Don’t worry about staying lucid. Your job is to get the infusion and do what’s best for you.
You can bring snacks if you want, but most units/centers will have something to munch on or can order you something from the cafeteria if you’re at a hospital. Also the medication and the smells in the unit always make me nauseous, so it’s kind of a waste for me to bother pulling together food before I leave. You can always eat before or plan to get something on the way back. Going through a drive thru to get something with protein is my go to.
If possible, schedule your next appointment while you’re there. I have to go every three months, so I schedule the next one while I’m there, and then I never have to make any fucking phone calls. Phone calls are the worst.
My last and most important tip: ask the nurses when you need something. Blankets, water, snacks, pain meds, the lights turned off. If they can’t do it, they’ll tell you. They’d rather have you ask and have to say no, then you be uncomfortable. Don’t suffer if there might be a solution.
Dealing with Shitty Doctors
There are shitty doctors everywhere, in every specialty and every hospital system. It sucks, and you can do your best to avoid them, but most chronically ill patients will have to put up with one at some point. Here are my suggestions:
If they’re refusing to acknowledge one of your symptoms is a problem (won’t order tests, won’t refer you out, won’t ask any questions), tell them it’s affect your Activities of Daily Living. ADLs are one of the ways doctors measure severity of symptoms and quality of life. ADLs are the absolutely essential things you need to do to be a functioning human: eat, shower, get dressed, brush your teeth. ADLs are a trigger word for most doctors. Physical therapists and occupational therapists were created specifically to help patients achieve their ADLs. If you’re having severe joint paint, say it’s affecting you’re ability to shower and dress in the morning. If you have intense fatigue, say you’re too tired all the time to cook food to eat or even brush your teeth before bed. Tell them your symptoms are affecting your quality of life and your ability to function daily. This won’t always work, but it’s a good starting place. (A side note: if you have have to submit an insurance appeal for something that was denied, citing ADLs as a reason to receive the treatment/medical equipment/doctors visit, will often spur them into action. Sometimes, it’ll just make them ask more questions, but questions are better than flat out denial. This was a very helpful tactic when I was trying to get my manual wheelchair approved. I told them I was unable to complete my ADLs and it was affecting my quality of life, and they eventually came around. It’s also important to remember that ADLs are only the most base tasks that you need to live. Driving, working, socializing—those aren’t included in ADLs, and insurance especially will laugh in your face if you try to say you need medical equipment for something like that.)
Lots of doctors, consciously or unconsciously, will judge how you’re actually feeling by your mood in an appointment. I had a pediatric neurologist who couldn’t be convinced that my pain was at an 8 because I would laugh with my mom in the waiting room. Eight months in, I started getting real quiet, not talking, crying when he talked, all that shit, and he was so fucking flummoxed. He was like “what changed?? Are you depressed??” And I had to remind him that I was thirteen with a severe shoulder inure that hurt every time I breathed. Doctors will judge you based on how you look and how you present. It’s horrible, but it’s true. Present to them in the way that represents what they’d expect to see for your symptoms.
Whatever you do, don’t say anything (or send any snappy messages) that might be considered aggressive until you are absolutely, 100% positive you will never ever have to see them again. I’ve had a few doctors that said ridiculously horrible things to me. It’s tempting to send them a message about how shitty they’ve been or how much they’ve hurt you, but it won’t help. Shitty doctors have fragile egos and they don’t like to be challenged. They won’t take this well, and they’ll mark you as attention seeking, emotional, mentally unstable—you name it. When your other doctors call to ask questions about symptoms, etc, they’ll start talking shit, and everything gets complicated. This might sound dramatic to anyone who hasn’t seen it happen, but honestly, the medical system abuses emotion and mental illness to discard patients that aren’t afraid to advocate for themselves, and this is one of the least immoral ways they do it.
Remember that you don’t owe your doctors anything (except basic human decency). If they ask you to do something and you can’t or don’t want to, don’t. My psychiatrist was really fixated on me getting a light box to cure my depression. I did Not want to do that, so I didn’t. Sometimes, your doctors won’t move on to further treatment or tests until you try it, but most of the time you can say, “that’s not something I’m able to do right now. Let’s explore further options,” and they’ll move on.
Remember that learning to advocate for yourself takes years of practice. Just do your best, and try not to blame yourself for the ways you get mistreated. Therapy is the best investment I’ve ever made for this. It’s helped me learn how to advocate and how to process medical trauma.
Medication
For gods sake, take the as needed medication when you have a migraine or if you’re nauseous. Don’t punish yourself.
This might seem like a no brainer, but if you’re traveling and you’re going to take your medication bottles with you, put them in a ziplock bag. They will definitely open in your suitcase, and you’ll have to pick Levothyroxine out of your socks.
If a medication gives you icky side effects, tell your doctor and ask if there’s something that doesn’t do that. For me personally, it’s hard to find medication that works at all, so I often get stuck with things that make me feel like shit. But it doesn’t hurt to ask. Sometimes new medications come out or they dig up old ones.
Some medications come in dissolvable tablets or suppositories. They’re not fun, but if you have trouble swallowing pills, this is a good way to go. Again, communicate with your doctor about these things. I know that there are Scopolamine patches for nausea too. I’ve never used them before, but it might be worth looking into if need easy nausea relief.
All Things Wheelchair
Man, wheelchairs suck, but they’re also amazing. If you find yourself using one, you’ll encounter a steep learning curve.
If you’re not super buff when you first start, it’ll seem impossible to go up even a slight incline. Your arms will get stronger the more you move around, but it might take time. I eventually bit the bullet and started doing personal training. I’m lucky that I can afford it, and I know it’s not an option for everyone, but if you can, find a trainer who won’t saying anything shitty and who’s willing to accommodate. I worked with a queer-owned gym to find someone I was comfortable with. We do upper body strength training, and it gives me a chance to move my body more often. I still can’t go up big hills, but I feel infinitely more mobile. Give yourself time to adjust to the new strain on your body, even if you don’t do training for it. You’ll be sore in the beginning. Ice and heat will be your friends after long days. If your wrists start hurting a lot, you’re not wheeling correctly, and you should ask your doctor for a referral to PT or OT. Oh and your hands will be fucked for the first few weeks. I bought special wheelchair gloves to try to combat this, but it just made it harder for me to maneuver. Now I only use the gloves if it’s cold, if I’m going down hills, or in the rain/snow. (But seriously, if you’re going down steep hills, use traction gloves.)
Learn to pop a wheelie as soon as possible. It’s such a helpful skill. If you get good enough, you’ll be able to get up over single steps and traverse shitty pavement.
If your wheelchair has a cushion, then it has a cushion cover. Wash it.
Time for the grossest part: cutting hair out of your caster wheels. I hate this. I hate it so much. It’s fucking disgusting, but you have to do it. It’ll fuck up your wheels and make it harder to maneuver. Also it’s just gross to have all that nasty hair hanging out by your feet. Get yourself a long pair of thin scissors and cut all that hair out every week or every two weeks. If you don’t have long hair or live with people who have long hair, then you might be able to wait longer. You should also sanitize your hand rims while you’re at it. Hand sanitizer or Clorox wipes are great for this.
You’ll notice that it’s fucking impossible to carry shopping baskets or suitcases if you use a manual chair. Some people try to balance them on their laps or wedge them onto their footplates, but it’s pretty precarious. I got these weird peg things that attach to the frame. You can place a basket or your bag on it and still keep your hands free. Here’s the link for the ones I got, but it depends on your make and model, so do some research and call some different companies before buying anything. Also, make sure to measure the distance between the two sides of your frame to make sure a basket will be able to balance on the two pegs. Your frame might be too wide for this. Mine is, but I bought a special basket to take to the store that’s wide enough to reach across.
Lots of people will offer to push you. Some won’t even offer; they’ll just grab on and take you in whatever direction. It’s insanely invasive and dehumanizing. Don’t be afraid to put on your breaks if someone does this. I can stand and take small steps, so sometime I just get up and stare at them. You can also buy covers for your handles that have spikes so people can’t grab them. I know some wheelchair users who like it when people offer to push them. That’s good too! Take the help if you want it. Just remember to prioritize your safety and comfort. I had a big debate with another disabled person about whether it was infantilizing for someone to offer to hold open the door for us. I’m firmly on the side that they can offer, and I can say no, and they can listen, and then we can both appreciate the moment of shared humanity between us. They did not agree. Disabled people fight and disagree all the time because we’re not all carbon copies of each other. That’s okay! Just be respectful.
Getting a customized manual wheelchair was one of the single most stressful things I had to deal with. Insurance doesn’t like to pay for them because it’s about 3-12k, depending on the specifications and add-ons. But it’s also been the most liberating thing I’ve done since getting my mobility stripped from me. I’m not sure how it works for everyone, but I got a referral from my doctor to a custom wheelchair company. From there, they took measurements, discussed needs, and showed me different models. It’s going to be really really difficult to know what you want the first time. There’s a lot of different brands and customizations, so do your research and talk in depth with whoever’s making your chair. Ultra lite rigid frames are my favorite because they’re usually only 15-40 pounds, and the wheels can come off to make it even lighter. However, rigid frames don’t fold together in the middle like classic manual wheelchairs that you might find at a hospital or get at a rental company. They can be difficult to fit in the backseat of a car or in some trunks, so make sure to measure any cars you ride in regularly. Some people prefer to have tilted wheels so they can turn easier. Some people don’t want anything to do with that. Depending on your mobility and the people in your life, you might choose not to add push handles to your chair. I added some to mine because I often get dizzy, and it’s helpful to have handles in case I need someone to push me out of the crosswalk or into the shade. People who are highly independent and extremely strong might not want push handles because they won’t need help up steep hills. I like my handles a lot; however, my chair back is shorter than a standard wheelchair because it helps increase range of motion when I’m wheeling, so my push handles are lower than normal, and anyone who wants to push me has to hunch a bit to reach. Again, do your research and talk to your rep before making final decisions. Some companies will let you test out the chairs they have on hand to see what you like. It’s important to work with a wheelchair company you really like because you’re literally putting you life in their hands. I’ve had better luck with smaller, locally-owned companies, but you can’t always get referrals there, and not every town has them. Here’s my tip to you: Numotion sucks ass. Avoid them. My branch of Numotion seems to be an outlier; I’ve had really good experiences with them. But most of the time, its impossible to get ahold of anyone, their hours are few and random, and their customer service reps are rude. But! After you’ve completed your order form—gotten measurements and found customizations—they’ll submit it to insurance. This is the tricky part. I went through four appeals, before I got mine approved. Luckily, I had insurance through my mom’s job, and after the last appeal, her company told the insurance that they had to pay for it. This won’t be the case with everyone. Be diligent with your appeals. Have your doctors write specific, clear letters about why you need it, including information about all the customizations and add-ons. It’s likely that they’ll only pay for the base chair, and you’ll have to pay out of pocket for any extra things. Another note: most insurance companies will only pay for a new chair once every five years (if they approve the first one at all), so be sure that the chair you pick out will work for you for at least the next five and a half years.
I had an advisor in college tell me something devastating once: there is no AAA for wheelchairs. I’d broken a caster wheel and gotten stuck on a university sidewalk in 102 degree heat, and she was telling me about her own experiences getting stranded after one of her tires popped. She’s right; if you’re wheelchair breaks, you’re stuck wherever you are without any backup. Carry your phone with you. Tell your friends or family where you’re going before you leave. Familiarize yourself with the wheelchair repairs shops in your area. Sometimes places like bike shops will be able to help you fix smaller things. I always carry an Allen wrench with me in case I need to take a part off. And don’t worry; you’ll find that if something does go wrong, people are far more willing to help than you’d expect. One of the sculpture professors in the art department found me that day and went back to his workshop to get all his tools. He brought me water and sat in the sun while he tried to fix my wheel, and when he couldn’t, he offered to drive me wherever I needed to go. This man was a tenured professor with a prestigious MFA, and he was running late for a party where he was supposed to be handing out awards. You’ll find lots of good people when things inevitably go to shit.
Going along with the last point, your wheelchair will break, and you will have to send it into the shop to get repairs. If you can, invest in a cheap manual chair that you can use in emergencies. If you live with other people, you can buy a transport chair for cheaper, but you’ll need someone around to push you because it won’t have hand rims.
If you’re new to wheelchair use, give yourself space to feel all the emotions. When I first started, I had been using an office chair(!) to get around. My mom would push me from my bed to the bathroom and then back to bed while we waited to get a rental. I was so relieved when I got my own chair that I pushed everything else down. It took months to allow myself to be sad about all the things I couldn’t do anymore and be angry about all the inaccessible infrastructure that America has. Don’t push it down. Talk to a therapist or find people in the community to discuss it with. (If I choose to talk about my frustrations with friends, I always start with “I need to vent right now, and I’m grateful you’re willing to listen to me, but I’m not looking for any solutions to this at the moment,” or “can you give me some suggestions to work around these things that are frustrating me?” This gives my friends insight into what I need, instead of making them guess. It keeps us both from getting frustrated, and I highly suggest it, especially if you or your friends have trouble navigating social situations/expectations.)
Hand Controls
Hand controls are great option for your car if you’re unable to use your feet to drive. I got mine about a year back, but it was tricky and really confusing at first.
First thing you need to know: you can’t get hand controls without a prescription from a specialist. Usually a certain type of occupational therapist. You can look up driving rehab OTs in your area, but there aren’t many of them, and lots of the time you’ll have to drive several hours to see one. There’s usually a long wait list as well. (And of course, a lot of them don’t take insurance.)
If you’re able to find someone who’s certified, they’ll do an intake appointment and assess your physical abilities and needs. Sometimes, they’ll do the assessment and decide you aren’t fit to use hand controls. This can be for a multitude of reasons, including impaired mental cognition and slow reaction time, issues with hand or arm mobility, or there might be a better way to adapt a car for you. Again, it varies greatly on the person, and I’m not an OT, so I don’t know all the ins and outs. If you pass the assessment, and they view you got to drive with hand controls, you’ll be required to do a certain amount of training where you practice using different equipment. Some OTs will know what you need to use right away, and others will have you try different things out to see what fits best. There’s a lot of types of hand controls and a lot of adaptations that can be done to a car, so it really depends on the person. My training was only about 15 hours (plus independent driving practice), but it’ll depend on whether this is your first time ever driving, if you’ve driven without hand controls before, and if you have any other medical issues that might make it hard for you to adapt. Once you’ve completed the training and received your certificate from the OT, they’ll write a prescription to send to a shop that does specialty car adaptation. Kind of like wheelchairs, the shop you go to is very important. Ask your OT if they have any favorites in the area. Insurance never covers this, and some shops will way overcharge you if you’re not careful. My hand controls were about 3k out of pocket, but it was definitely worth it. It would’ve been a lot more to add other adaptations like a lift or a ramp, but sometimes you can buy used accessible vans for cheaper than adding it to your own car. Something to know: you’re usually able to turn your hand controls on and off. So if your friend needs to borrow your car, or you need to let a mechanic test drive it, you can disable to hand controls and allow someone else to use the foot pedals as normal.
Overall, it’s a very long, very expensive process, so plan ahead and be prepared to wait and pay.
Navigating Raising a Kid with Chronic Illnesses
I don’t have any kids, but my mom was my sole caretaker growing up, and I can offer you some of her thoughts. You have to remember that no matter what age your kid is, chronic illness is an impossible thing for them to deal with, and yet they have to deal with it anyways. Sometimes, there’s no good way to comfort a child who’s in 10/10 pain, or who’s about to undergo a life-altering procedure. All you can do is your best. Communicate. Offer support. Give affection. Make your love unconditional. I was a very angry teenager. I was angry with my mom that she couldn’t fix it, and I was angry with my doctors for the way they treated me. There were days where I would yell and sob and refuse to take my meds, and there where days where I would stare at the wall and not respond to anything. It drove my mom up the wall. She’s used to fixing things, and this was one of those things she couldn’t even help. I know she stills holds a lot of guilt for this, but she shouldn’t. She did her best. You’re doing your best too. You can’t fix everything. That being said, here are her suggestions:
Therapy, therapy, therapy. They might hate it, but some day, they’ll thank you. Remember that not every therapist is right for every patient. If your kid wants to switch to a different therapist, let them. It’s better than them sitting and not speaking the whole session.
Lots of kids with developing rare undiagnosed diseases will go through this vicious cycle where they get a new symptom, get sent to a specialist, get dismissed, and then develop a new symptom and start the process all over again. It’s not easy. My mom was a fan of throwing Pity Parties. Every once in a while, when the grind of it all started making us feel hopeless, she’d take me to the store and say, “pick out snacks and drinks. We’re going to throw a pity party, gorge on sugar, watch Lord of the Rings, feel bad for ourselves, and tomorrow, we’ll dust ourselves off and try again.” It helped. It was good to know that sometimes you can let life feel unfair, and it was even better to know that the next day it would be easier to try again.
A lot of being chronically ill as a kid is getting decisions stripped from you and having unexpected negative experiences. My mom would try to do spontaneous things every once in a while to remind me that not all surprises are bad. Instead of driving straight home after school one Friday, she took me to Starbucks without saying anything. After an MRI, she stopped at an art fair and let me pick out a necklace. We would go to the library after I spent the day in the hospital. Sometimes, she’d call my aunts while I was at school to come over and play card games on the weekends. And she was really big on giving me choices in everything. She never made me agree to new (non-lifesaving) treatment. Ever. If she really wanted me to do it, we’d talk it over and come to an agreement that made us both happy. Sick kids are forced into adulthood early; they know how to make calculated, logical decisions when needed. Let them be a part of their own healthcare. (They should also be given the chance to make rash, stupid decisions that have no bearing on their health.)
Keep track of everything. Doctors, meds, ER visits, PT exercises, diets they’ve tried for GI issues, everything about the surgeries they’ve undergone. Some day, you’ll need it. Or your kid will grow up into a chronically ill adult, and they’ll need it.
Talk to their school counselor about getting a 504 or IEP. Even if they’re not struggling. I was a super academically minded kid; I didn’t struggle to understand new concepts or complete homework correctly. But eventually it became hard for me to attend class and finish assignments. Having an IEP saved me. 504s are a lot easier to get (a lot less paperwork, less testing, less pushback from admin), but they’re not legally binding. If you want something concrete and all-encompassing, go for the IEP. IEPs are also really helpful when trying to get accommodations in college. You can also start with a 504 and switch to an IEP later. While we’re on the subject of school: remember that education is important, but school is not the end all be all of your child’s life. What should matter the most to you is that they end up safe and happy. I didn’t graduate high school; I took a proficiency test my junior year and dropped out. It was the best choice I could’ve made at the time, but it was still tough for my mom. I ended up going to college, and now I have a pretty solid job, but every kid will be different. Their mental and physical health is the most important. School is a huge huge huge stressor. Don’t make it harder for them than it already is.
Dating
God dating sucks enough on its own, but adding in chronic illness and disability just makes it a shit show. I don’t have a lot to offer on this other than you shouldn’t settle for anyone who doesn’t respect you, treat you with love and compassion, and accept every part of you for what it is. People will say rude shit. They’ll be nasty, fetishizing, infantilizing, dismissive. Some won’t be able to put up with all the things that come along with being ill. I sound like a broken record, but find a good therapist who can help you voice your needs and expectations clearly. Remember that you never have to go on a date if you don’t want to. Participate as you see fit. Throw it all out if you want.
I don’t have enough time to go into my tips for intimacy/sex and disability, but I’ll give you the highlights.
Communicate. Make it very clear what you’re able to do, what you’re interested in doing, and what you don’t want.
There are lots of ways to have sex. If you’re both having fun, being safe, and engaging consensually, then you’re doing it right. Don’t let abled bodied people tell you the way it should be done. There are lots of accessibility friendly toys to invest in, too.
As weird as it might sound, don’t be afraid to take breaks. Keep water near by. If you have POTS, keep salt or electrolyte tablets on hand. If you have to stop to vomit or go to the bathroom, don’t let it shame you. Go at your own pace and take care of your body.
Misc
Having seizures on a college campus: Most universities have a policy that if you lose consciousness while on campus, they have to call an ambulance. You are not required to ride in the ambulance. You can decline, and the paramedics will make you sign a form before leaving. If you’re still actively having seizures, then they’ll take you anyways, but you probably won’t be in any shape to try to decline. If you’re having seizures regularly, tell your professors. It’ll freak them the fuck out, so warn them ahead of time. It makes the whole thing a lot less awkward when you collapse in the aisle during a lecture. Related to that: communicate with your professors about all your accommodations and emergency health needs. They really honestly appreciate it when you talk to them about this stuff. Even if they have a big class and don’t remember you, it’s good to send them an email and introduce yourself. Hopefully, you’ve also talked to your college’s Disability Resource Center. If not, go do that. Now. (There’s a whole lot of shit that I have to say about campus accessibility and disability resource centers, but I’m not gonna go into it right now.) Also, wear your medical alert bracelet. I know they suck, but it sucks more for someone to be digging through your pants pocket while you’re seizing to try to find your wallet. And keep your emergency contact info pinned up somewhere in your dorm. I used to put mine on the fridge and point it out to my roommates at the beginning of term. It can take a while for RAs to pull yours up, so it’s best to make sure it’s easily accessible.
Remember that you do not function like a normal person. There is no wrong way to solve one of your problems. If you need to put a stool in your bathroom to sit at while you brush your teeth, do it. I got an extra tall stool to sit at while I cook at the stove because my wheelchair is too short. (Cooking in a wheelchair is another thing I could talk about forever.) If you need to wear a sleep mask on the bus because the light makes your migraine worse, do it. People can look at you funny all they want. Like I said, I rolled around my house in an office chair while I waited for a rental wheelchair. What I’m trying to say is find things that work and implement them, even if they’re non traditional.
Here’s what I pack in my bag for an ER visit: headphones, phone charger, book, zofran, Naproxen, water bottle, wallet with cash, socks, and sleep mask to block out the waiting room lights. If I’m expecting to be admitted, then I’ll pack more, but I try to keep it light if it’s just triage and a visit with the ER doctor. Sometimes I’ll stuff a granola bar or some almonds in there too.
My biggest tip for surviving hospital stays is to get out of your room (if possible). Go on walks around the unit. Some hospitals have little courtyards patients can sit in. If you’re in peds, go visit the rec room, even if it’s awkward. Their activities are usually meant for the younger kids, but it can be fun to connect with other people your age, and you’ll thank yourself later when you’re stuck in bed at 3am. Also, tell your friends to come visit you. Not everyone will be able to, but most people are happy to come hang out for an hour or two. It’ll help; I promise.
Clean your room every few weeks. Dear god, clean your room. I have trouble with executive functioning and finding energy to do housekeeping type stuff, but I get more depressed when my room is gross. So clean your room. Especially if you have hypersomnia/sleep excessively.
Don’t force yourself to use a pill organizer. I know everyone says it makes it easier, but I get overwhelmed when I have to refill it, and then I just don’t end up taking my meds. If it doesn’t work for you, don’t do it. If it does, then do it!
Don’t buy the self help books your therapist recommends unless you’re actually interested in reading them. It’ll just sit on your shelf and make you feel guilty for not being good enough.
Mental illness is tightly bound to physical illness. Try to be an active listener in your body. Sometimes, when I’ve been feeling really nauseous, my PSTD symptoms will get triggered over nothing, and it’ll frustrate the fuck out of me because it seems like it’s happening over nothing. I try to track when my emotional state is worse to see if it’s correlated to my physical symptoms. This helps curb the frustration and guilt. Sometimes it makes me dissociate more. It’s a balancing act. Just do your best.
Hobbies are so so so important. Make sure to give yourself time to work on them! And there are a million ways to adapt the activities you love if you’re having trouble, so don’t afraid to do some research. I know they have crochet hook grips for people with arthritis or loose grips, and there are super intense magnifying glasses for people who like to cross stitch and are having trouble seeing the tiny ass holes. I have a color blind friend who sends us pictures of paint to see if it’s the shade he wants. Very occasionally, you’ll come to the conclusion that there’s a hobby you can’t adapt. Let yourself be sad. I can’t hike anymore and it sucks. I can’t go tide-pooling either, and its not like if I just work really hard I’ll be able to do it some day. Life is shit, and sometimes you have to let things go. Be angry, be sad, tell people to fuck off if they try to turn you into inspiration porn, but also remember that there are lots of other cool things out there to try.
Going along with the hobby thing: take the time to learn ASL if you’re having trouble with your hearing or if you often go nonverbal. One of my friends had to get hearing aids last year, and we offered to learn with them, but they were hesitant because it feels like a non necessity to them. Something selfish that would take up all our time. If you think it’ll help, you should grant yourself the time to learn. Capitalism makes us think that we shouldn’t engage in activities unless we gain money or power from them, but that mindset will kill you. Your life will be infinitely easier if you learn ASL online with your partner or friends or siblings.
Look up Spoon Theory. It’s not a helpful metaphor for everyone, but most people in the community talk about it, so it’s good to be familiar with it.
Don’t be afraid to go out and find community! Find support groups, look up wheelchair sports if you’re into getting sweaty, brave the awkwardness of starting conversations with other patients in the clinic. I’m wholly and completely of the idea that humans are innately good. There are lots of interesting chronically ill/disabled people who’re looking for connection. Insurance companies and other medical entities rely on us feeling isolated, alone, and uniformed to continue making money and hold power. It’s important that we share with and support each other.
I know a lot of this is basic stuff, but it’s helpful to have reminders, and if you’re new to the whole song and dance, then it’s nice to get a sneak peak. There are a million things I didn’t get to, but this was what was on the top of my brain.
Also, I’m not the collective voice of every chronically ill person in the world. My experiences are not yours and they’re not everyone else’s. What works for me, might not work for you. Be kind.
#thanks to @thenarrativefoil for reminding me that we need to share with each other!!#if you have any suggestions for dealing with gastroparesis please hmu#I’m still waiting for my gastric emptying scan but I’d like to try out some of y’all’s tips#hopefully some of this is helpful to someone#chronic illness#chronic pain#disability#seizures#nausea#wheelchair user#ptsd#mental health#hand controls#medical insurance companies suck#therapy#so much talk of therapy#spoonie#if this is helpful to anyone I’ll make another
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hi yall i know these posts are getting old but ive been kinda hitting a wall lately vis a vis pain management which has made art Kinda Rough (it's been getting progressively worse over the past few months which is why i didn't too great @ artfight this year), but. Working on it 👍ty to everyone who attacked me this year!! i love everything sm it all made me so happy to see & hopefully ill get something figured out soon that makes things a little easier :'^)
in the meantime i am feeling a little stressed abt money stuff. i'm working on figuring out voc rehab etc so i can get a source of income but at the same time i'm having more stuck-in-bed days from pain which is. yippee
reminder that i have a ko-fi page with little adoptables/a tip jar [clickable link to ko-fi] and an etsy store [clickable link to the store]. im a little slower at order fulfillment rn BUT i'm still getting them out within the 2 week window i have listed on etsy
#splat.pdf#eventually i wanna reopen commissions but my hands are......... not being super cooperative rn </3#i have one in the queue and with how long thats taking im not comf taking any rn even if people Say they understand that itll be a bit#i dont like asking for help lmao. this is the most straightforward its gonna come from me#in the meantime if anyones dealing w like. chronic pain stuff. and has any tips or tricks for working on making things more. tolerable
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hello <3 does anyone have any last-minute tips for idk . enjoying a (taemin!!!!!!!) concert when you have autism + adhd? HSJSJSJS
#im sooooo nervous holy shit. it's been a While since i did the whole queuing thing for an artist#and when we did it for harry i had moments were i felt truly Terrible HSJSJSJSJ and im also nervous it won't feel real#or i won't be able to like. feel grounded or present??? and just close off emotionally???#i know this is silly and ive only listened to taemin since 2020 and never religiously like i did for bt s and seventeen ofc#but yk!!!!!! it's taemin!!!!!! and obviously feel v v lucky i get to go at all (yk. godwilling everything goes well)#also if anyone has any taemin specific tips hmu dhsjsjdh i haven't looked up the setlist bc i wanna be surprised#i know all his songs i think but not all by heart?#(also everything about queuing is Stressful HSJSJD and we have to travel 3.5 hours by train first which really is a record distance#in this country GSJSJSJD)#(anyways hiiiiiii sorry)#(oh and how be at peace with what you have djjsjdd and not to regret things constantly)#(which ig with taemin im constantly like Just So Happy To Be Here but then if it's me who could've done things differently it's >:[)#also in hindsight i think i just had a ? shutdown? meltdown? at one of the harry shows rip that wasn't great#can i even say that. idk if i get those. but i was quite literally shaking crying (not throwing up!) and couldn't explain a thing#anyways i think i'll take my adhd meds so i at least won't have a billion other thoughts in my head??#i just haven't in ages but i took them today and my heart has been Pounding HSJSJS also im sweating and nervous but yk we deal#i realise im making a huge deal out of this and it will most likely be fine#it's just like. if I don't feel anything at this????? what's the point#so no pressure HDJSJSJSJDJ maybe that's not a great thought#concerts are just... tricky and so much worse still now with covid and wearing a mask as one of the only people there#also sensorily + heat wise whew. but for the best
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Rainy day
#art#fan art#pixel art#mo4#marikinonline4#mo4 art#sigkin#sigkin mo4#bachikin#bachikin mo4#not a ship#you're free to view it as one though#i headcanon sigkin as a gay man and bachikin as a lesbian#which is why this isn't meant to be ship art#the lesbian umbrella was because i had no other ideas for the colors#and because i thought it was funny#i've never drawn rain before#nor have i worked in a perspective like this before#at least if memory serves me correct#if anyone has any tips let me know#i need to learn more pixel art/aseprite tricks#but yeah#hope you enjoy
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YES FELLOW KAEYA ENJOYER 🙌🙌🙌🙌 I woukd LOVE to hear your thoughts its so hard to find anyone talking about all of kaeyas lore and implications
HI FELLOW KAEYA ENJOYER!!!!
Thank you so much! I have actually started the process of writing down my thoughts and even realized that, because of how much all of Kaeya’s lore and implications and references connect together, a mind map might actually be a better format for listen all of my thoughts than just a text post. But then, ah…I started the VERY rough draft for this mind map and I’m realizing it’s already getting so huge and complicated, I’m actually worried about whether or not I’ll be able to make it cohesive and readable.
I think that might be why it’s so hard to find anyone talking about ALL of Kaeya’s lore & myth connections & implications. THERE’S JUST SO MUCH!!! Kaeya, you have so much going on!!!! And, like, good for you, beloved, but it’s not easy for the theorists!
Anyways, in case anyone is curious, here’s a look at what I’ve got so far for the super-rough draft of a mind map for all my unhinged Kaeya lore thoughts:
Thank you for the nice message, anon!
#genshin impact#kaeya alberich#I hope the text in that mind map is legible#I think it should be if you zoom in on it enough#there is so so much still missing#explanations connections sources other topics just a bunch of stuff I haven’t been able to put it yet#I could’ve probably added more but it’s late and I’m tired and my brain is fried as it is#if anyone has any tips on how to clean up a mind map so it’s more legible I’d be so grateful#or any alternative apps or websites for making mind maps#I’m using mimind so far and it’s pretty nice but not perfect#the fact I don’t have it on desktop bothers me because I can’t type as fast#this may have been a bad idea#this post of all my Kaeya lore thoughts will probably take so long#but it’d be worth it for him#anything for the blorbo#I really hope I don’t offend anybody with this#I probably don’t have reason to worry about it but I can’t help it I’m a socially anxious people pleaser#okay I’m going to bed now the brainpan needs recharging
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ladies and gents and sea floor vents this is what we call "i'm in college and by the time i get this done the chinese new year will be long out of season so we're gonna post a sneak-peek"
#idk i guess i take suggestions on this or something???#it's not nearly done but we roll#my paintings#sneak peeks#there now i have a tag for posts like this#tell me what to name the cloud snakes i guess#also if anyone has any tips for like. the ground i am lowkey panicking#original art#my art#artists on tumblr#year of the snake
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a before and after of my lil baby ٩(ˊᗜˋ*)و ♡
#lati speaks#first pic was back on september 13th i'm so happy that it lost the sickly brown color and became much healthier since then <33#i had it on the balcony but noticed it didn't get as much sun as i would have liked so i moved it inside to my bedroom window and boom#if anyone has any tips for me i would love to hear them i adore my lil succulent baby and i want it to live a long happy life ( ⸝⸝´꒳`⸝⸝)
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I keep saying I'm cooking but babygirl my stove ran out of gas months ago
#this is about writing burnout#im itching to create but every time i sit down my brain stops processing words and i hate everything i write#ive gotta find a way to fix this and refuel but not even other hyperfixations have saved me#i just keep getting banger fic ideas and no way to actual execute them#im in Hell for real right now#if anyone has any tips i would appreciate them i need to break out i neeeed to write or im gonna lose my marbles#dragons chatting#writing#writers block
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