#but regardless. HOW DID THIS HAPPEN TO ME

[bringbackmaes14]

My mom has her TV on in her room almost 24/7 and it's always on some news outlet or other. We talk a lot about politics and world/national/local events. And we do have a lot of varying views on a lot of things but we're both adults who are capable of saying "well we've both stated we have differing opinions and it's clear that we're actually arguing at this point and not just talking so let's put away the topic for now." But there are also other times where I'm just too overwhelmed by my own life to think about what's going on in the bigger world around me, so my mom knows to be hesitant to bring up news stuff with me (i.e. she doesn't just start talking about politics/world events with me rather she'll ask if I'm in the mindset to discuss things when she wants my opinion on something). This is all relevant.

We've always been able to talk about nearly everything from the economy to the school system to human rights to human tragedy and we've never tried to censor ourselves around each other (outside of getting too emotional with our language). But about two weeks ago when the United Healthcare CEO was assassinated, my mom, who is in her 50s, came to me and she said "Did you see that the CEO of United Healthcare got unalived?"

And I just sat there and looked at her completely confused and she was like "did you not hear about it? It's all over the news. It happened in clear view on the street." Like the problem was that I hadn't heard of the event not that my Gen-X mother had just in a real life conversation said the word "unalived".

And I told her as much. "Yes I've heard that. Why did you say 'unalived' instead of 'murdered'?

And she told me that she just thought that since I'm touchy about heavier topics sometimes (which is definitely true, that does occasionally happen) she thought it would be better to just not use the "heavy" words. I asked her if she realized, honestly, how stupid that was because regardless of the word she used, she was still talking about a murder, it didn't change the subject matter, she was only making the subject matter seem less significant and severe by changing the word to baseless internet lingo that a bunch of misguided, clout-chasing influencers spread.

She hadn't. She's doesn't use the Internet replacement words a lot, online or otherwise. This was a first. She thought this was a different situation, and a fine one to use it in, and like the above stories people shared, it's still not.

I'm allowed to say there are days where I want to avoid heavier topics because I'm overwhelmed. I'm allowed to not ever really discuss certain topics because they actually trigger me based on my own experiences. But people who are out here living their whole lives like just talking about about difficult or controversial topics, or asking questions about it, or enjoying media where it's portrayed (especially when it's actually portrayed respectfully) are being ridiculous, and they're handicapping themselves. They're never going to learn how to talk about hard things, or how to handle hard things. And honestly I feel bad for them.

Luckily, in my case, once I explained why my mom saying what she said was incredibly weird and honestly devaluing to the conversation, she backtracked and told me that (like I said above) she doesn't talk like that regularly and she has no intention to start; it's just that this was a huge news event and that day had been particularly rough for me emotionally and she wasn't sure how to approach it. So her intentions were good and I'm very lucky that she understands and also agrees that the Internet censorship language is incredibly unnecessary.

we have GOT to kill tiktok/twitter self-censorship i just witnessed a grown adult say the word “smex” out loud to our professor

[enchantress-arc]

I recently learned that a particular sub of mine still had some conditioning from a while back that hadn't been used in quite a while, specifically that she had a bit of a tendency to become incredibly dazed and begin dropping into trance when presented with a cock (though, talking to her afterwards, she doesn't think that this conditioning would activate for most people). I learned this through a tiny bit of teasing on a call, when she saw my wonderful Bitchbreaker through the shorts I was wearing, her eyes rolled back and her tongue came out. Learning that on its own was very interesting. More interesting was just how effective this conditioning was, just how deeply she dropped from such a small tease, from only seeing it through my clothing. Naturally, seeing the effect that already existing conditioning had on her was quite a "blood in the water" moment for me, and, with her permission, I continued. After teasing her a bit more by showing off, it became incredibly clear that she was very, very suggestible in this state. I took my fingers, made a circle, and told her that however far down those fingers were on my girlcock, that's exactly how much she'd feel thrusting into her mouth. With her eyes rolling back and her tongue out, she took that cock like a wonderful, adorable little slut, so much passion and energy pouring into this imaginary girlcock fucking her face over and over and over. When it leaked and I told her to lap it up, she did, she was so empty, so mindless, so focused on serving this perfect Bitchbreaker, and I decided to have a bit of fun, to break my pathetic bitch a little more. I made her choke on it, put the whole thing down her throat as roughly as I could over and over, watched her drop even deeper with every single thrust, and reinforced this particular little piece of conditioning, just a bit, making it stronger, making it apply to my tits as well, making it easier to activate, even if she just saw me playing with either through my clothes she'd begin to feel the effects. Watching her empty little head take all of that new conditioning in with so little resistance as she kept mindlessly serving was absolutely wonderful. And of course, I couldn't just leave things there. I had her listen to me. I told her that, if she did a good job, if I finished in her mouth, she'd simply fall asleep. She'll get a nice little taste of Mistress, of her sweet, irresistible girlcum, and then she'll sleep for me. And she did such a good job, following along, listening, and when I finished, I simply told her to sleep for me. Her tongue twitched, lapping it up just as she had done earlier, and she collapsed onto her bed. I ended up staying in this call with her for a bit after that, just staying nearby, whispering little affirmations, until I was sure she was properly asleep rather than just in trance. Afterwards I left the call, left her a message telling her I hope she had enjoyed herself, and about an hour and a half later, I received a message from her saying that she had woken up covered in drool, and that her memory of what had happened was fuzzy at best, (which is rather interesting because I had never given her any commands related to memory during this, but regardless, it was incredibly cute). I'll admit I haven't done sessions that intense, that explicitly sexual (and especially focused on my own body) very often, but it was very, very fun. Seeing her eyes rolled back for that long, her drooling and sucking on a part that wasn't even really there with so much passion, it was wonderful, and I need to do something similar to her in the future, because the look that adorable, pathetic bitch had on her face made me want nothing other than to find ways to break her in even more.

[thewertsearch]

fedorafreak: preparing for expedition to reap gems from mischievous local fauna. fedorafreak: crafted sturdy bludgeoning instrument out of uprooted mailbox.

Interesting that the Underlings are still 'mischievous', even though they (presumably) haven’t been prototyped with a clown this time around.

Clearly, they’re naturally inclined to be pranksters, regardless of their prototypings.

fedorafreak: turning on hand-held device for brief report. fedorafreak: severe injury sustained in skirmish with undersized, sportive rascal.

Yeah, this guy’s not a fighter. Fedorafreak is an archetypical example of what would happen if an average person played Sburb, as opposed to a protagonist. Without all the assistance our heroes have received, you’d likely fall victim to one of Sburb’s many, many creative ways to kill you - from imps, to renegade Agents, to planets covered in oil.

Rose’s walkthrough really would be a godsend for any Player lucky enough to find it. Nanna, could you maybe text its IP address to my new favourite character?

fedorafreak: encountered rest surface. fedorafreak: horizontal stone slab exhibiting unidentified iconography. fedorafreak: a tall post at each corner. fedorafreak: mysteriously inviting. fedorafreak: mounting slab. exhaustion taking hold

Damn, he’s found his Quest Bed? Now that’s a lucky break for him. I’d speculate about his Title, but we have basically nothing to go on.

Plus, for all we know, Titles are only granted to Veil-cloned, ‘official’ Sburb Players, and we have no idea if the Freak came down on a meteor. I’d guess he did, because it would be a very Sburbian move to make sure that only meteor babies were predestined to play the game.

...actually, that almost certainly is how Sburb would set it up. In that case, a non-Player booting up a Sburb session would probably just doom the timeline, and the Freak really is a Veil baby. Hell yeah.

pipefan413: Excuse me, sir! fedorafreak: @ pipefan413, friend. fedorafreak: @ pipefan413, sound of voice nearly refreshing enough to distract from perpetual taste of warm, poorly filtered urine.

Imagine being FedoraFreak right now. He was about to die completely alone – and, just when things were at their most bleak, a fellow colleague appears completely out of the blue, here to keep him company in his final moments.

Maybe we can guess his Aspect, and it's Hope.

[starspangledbatter]

⭐️ “Dead Wife Rag”???: The Amazing Digital Circus Theory ⭐️

⭐️ About a day or two ago, Gooseworx released the entire soundtrack of episodes 3 and 4. Excited, I went and prepared to explore each and every one of the tracks individually. That is, until something strange caught my eye. This thing specifically, was a name for one of the latest tracks titled “Dead Wife Rag”. ⭐️

Now, this name could simply just mean rag. Rag as in a syncopated rhythm. But what if “Dead Wife Rag” is actually a double entendre? Let me explain…

🌟 You see, Gooseworx seems to title her tracks based off of the scene her tunes takes place in. “Character Quirks” plays during the living room scene where the characters show off what happens when they don’t breathe. “Still Friends” plays during the moment where Zooble comforts Gangle and admits that they are still Gangle’s friend, regardless of what happened at Spudsy’s. ⭐️

Now, knowing this information, the time and place where Gooseworx’s tracks take place seem to hold prominence in the track’s title names. So, knowing this, where exactly does “Dead Wife Rag” play within the series?

⭐️ Here. This is the scene where this track plays. The scene where a dead wife, Martha Mildenhall, explains to Ragatha that her husband accidentally kills her with his gun, while telling her about men and their “silliest priorities”. This scene follows with Ragatha turning to Jax, agreeing with Martha that she knows the feeling of dealing with a man who puts his own feelings over anyone else’s. ⭐️

Now, why does this matter? Well, what if I were to tell you that “Dead Wife Rag” actually means “Dead Wife Ragatha”, and that’s what makes the name a double entendre. This isn’t just my Bunnydoll bias speaking here. I actually mean it. Consider this.

⭐️ Jax’s episode is described as “guns!”. A gun is the thing that Baron uses to kill Martha, resulting in her demise ⭐️

⭐️ Gooseworx has said in the past that she “apologizes to the Bunnydoll shippers”, meaning that there’s something that could happen in the future that may strain their relationship, which could possibly involve abstraction. ⭐️

⭐️ When asked how Jax would react towards Ragatha abstracting or going missing, Michael Kovach responds with a tragic but surprising response (go to the 1:25:45 mark). He states that if Jax realized that Ragatha abstracted, he would be devastated. This is because Ragatha was someone he knew the entire time during his time at the circus. He would then continue to repress these feelings and pretend that everything is fine (like he did with Kaufmo, the stressful aftermath at Spudsy’s etc). ⭐️

⭐️ Jax’s episode (the gun episode) will explore each and every character, showing the audience how their personalities have changed amongst being at the circus. Maybe Ragatha and Jax used to be closer in the past? Maybe they weren’t always at each other’s throats? ⭐️

⭐️ So, where does this all lead to? What does all of this mean? Well, what if Jax does something in the future that hurts Ragatha emotionally. Something irredeemable, something unforgiving. What if Jax causes Ragatha to accidentally abstract, leaving the circus to cope with the death of one of their longest-surviving members? ⭐️

⭐️ Like Kinger said “In this world, the worst thing you can do is... make someone think they're not wanted or loved”. The worst thing you can do to Ragatha is make her feel hated or unloved. She doesn’t want Jax to hate her, despite how she feels about him and his actions. Jax always seems to push away others and constantly uses them for his entertainment. The only time he actually thinks about anyone but himself is during times that lack distraction. Maybe he says something that convinces Ragatha that he hates her. She believes in the one thing she can’t live with acknowledging. ⭐️

The guns aren’t actually guns. The guns are a symbol for a device or an event that leads to the accidental demise of a loved one. Kinger isn’t the only parallel to Baron. Jax is Baron. Ragatha is Martha. She’s “Dead Wife Rag” and he’ll have to live with what he has done. For the rest of his life.

[celli-ohs]

I Can't, I Have Rehearsal

pairing: socially awkward!park sunghoon x fem!reader

genre: high school au; crack, comedy, fluff

synopsis: What happens when you get seated right next to the most handsome boy in your entire grade? Well you thought it'd be a great excuse to get to know him better, but the guy won't even talk to you! After a mishap in the science lab, you come to find out that Park Sunghoon, the cold-hearted prince of EN High, isn't in fact rude, he's just afraid of women.

before you read: character profiles

warnings: language, stalking mention, cooties, wild subplot(s), loser enhypen, rickrolling, bad april fools pranks

word count: 3.62k

taglist (open): @ancnymcnzjy , @frankenstein852

note: part 1 of my and scene! series, loosely based off en-drama.

Log 4: Monday - April 1st, 2024

“I’m gonna say it. Y/n has been getting on my nerves recently.”

Everyone snaps their necks to look at Riki like he’s just admitted to committing a crime.

“Excuse me?” Sunghoon is appalled. “That’s my friend!”

It’s been about a month since you and Sunghoon had begun his “girlducation” lessons (You named it, not him). And luckily he’s been faring well!

Everyone’s noticed how he’s more open and friendly, and just last week he was finally able to look his homeroom teacher in the eyes and have a full conversation (about how he’s failing Algebra 2).

Talking to his female classmates has gotten easier too. He can’t say much though, as he still gets nervous whenever the conversation gets too complex.

You’ve helped him make leaps and bounds regardless, and Sunghoon can proudly state you two are friends.

“Come on you guys, you know what I’m talking about,” Riki shakes his head, clicking his tongue.

“No. We don’t. What did she do to you?” Jongseong raises a brow. Riki groans, rubbing his face.

“Yeah, there’s no need to be angry at her.” Heesung adds.

“This is exactly why! You guys like her more than me, I’m being replaced!” Riki throws his hands up in the air.

“Uh, no duh we like her more,” Sunoo rolls his eyes. “She’s nicer, funnier, and she’s prettier.”

Riki gasps. “I can be pretty!” He crosses his arms. “I’m prettier than you!” This time Sunoo gasps. “You can’t say shit to me cause do you got some guy stalking you because he thinks your idol material? I think not bitch!”

“Stalker? Sunoo! I thought you got rid of that guy?!” Jaeyun pauses, now the attention is turned towards the younger boy.

“He’s been on my ass recently, he even knows my order at my favorite cafe.” He shrugs as if this isn’t a concerning matter.

“Oh that’s not…” Sunghoon makes a face, eyeing the others.

“That stupid Belift guy is so persistent. It’s like he doesn’t take no for an answer.” Sunoo sighs. They all look at each other, skeptical. "I’ll walk home with you today Sunoo,” Jungwon decides.

“Speaking of stalkers,” Jongseong clears his throat, turning to Riki. “You’re banned from my house.”

“What?” Heeseung squeaks out in shock.

“Oh, so you liked my April Fool’s prank?” Riki grins, dodging Jongseong’s fists. “You went and switched my alarm clock forward! I was on my way to Jungwon’s at 5am this morning,” Jongseong grumbles.

As the others laugh and praise Riki for his joke, Sunghoon laughs the hardest. “Maybe you should keep your clock that way, you won’t ever have to worry about your mom nagging you to leave on time anymore.”

Jongseong rolls his eyes. “Haha, very funny.”

“How did you even do that?” Jaeyun laughs. Riki waves him off, smiling proudly. “Just asked his mom if I could come over to change it really quick while he was at baseball yesterday.”

“My mom was in on it?!” Jongseong looks betrayed. The boys soon make their way inside their school building.

“I totally forgot today was April Fool’s! I should’ve planned something,” Heeseung laughs, opening his locker.

“Don’t worry, I’m just getting started, I’ve got something for all of you.” Riki sends them an ominous smile. “Heh, what do you mean?” Sunghoon tries to hide his fear with a smile.

“Nothing. Just think of today as karma for replacing me with Y/n,” Riki waves before he jogs down the hall, greeting his other friends.

“We never replaced you?!” Jungwon shouts at him, sounding worried. “Oh my god, I’m scared, what if I open my locker and there’s like a dead rat or something?” Sunoo whines.

“No, Riki’s not like that,” Heeseung shakes his head, before turning to the others. “Uh, right?”

“Last year he put ink on my glasses, so when I took them off I had lines all over my face and hands, no one said anything till lunch!” Sunghoon reminds the others.

“In middle school we shared a class, I fell asleep and he clipped a hair extension to the back of my head. No one told me I had a mullet until I got home and showered.” Jungwon recites, shuddering as his fingers ghost over the back of his neck.

“He gets bolder every year, and somehow he convinces people to help him. I think he’s bribing them somehow.” Jongseong concludes.

“What if I just skipped school today? Huh? Anyone wanna join me?” Jungwon tempts the others. “No! If I have to be here, so do you. Plus it’s unfair that only I got pranked so far.” Jongseong huffs.

“Don’t worry Heeseung,” Jaeyun comforts the oldest. “You’re new, Riki will probably go the easiest on you.”

Heeseung doesn’t look pleased by this. As his friends try to figure out a way they can prevent Riki’s chaos from unfolding, Sunghoon slinks off down the hall to a certain locker.

You stand with your back towards him, talking animatedly with your friend Taehyun. As Sunghoon approaches, he signals Taehyun to keep quiet with a finger to his mouth.

“Boo!” He grabs you by the shoulder, causing you to jump. “Ah! Sunghoon!” You huff, punching him lightly in the arm. “Don’t do that!” You smile nonetheless.

“April Fool’s,” Sunghoon grins. You wave him off, your fingers grazing his own. He feels his ears heat up.

“I’m gonna get you later. You better watch out.” You warn him, but Sunghoon only smiles, shaking his head.

Suddenly, Taehyun clears his throat, reminding the two of you that you weren’t alone. “I’m gonna find Hyuka, see you later.” He waves to the both of you before departing.

But before he turns around, Taehyun sends you a wink, causing you to stiffen up.

“What was that?” Sunghoon asks, eyes trained on the back of Taehyun’s head. “Huh? Nothing, let’s get to class.” You cough, pushing Sunghoon down the hall.

“You remembered to do your slides, right?” You ask Sunghoon as you two sit down in your seats. “Yeah, it wasn't that hard.” He nods.

Your history class has just finished a project, and today everyone will be presenting. It was a solo project, but you and Sunghoon helped each other out.

“You’ll be okay talking up there by yourself?” You worry. Sunghoon feels special to know that you of all people care about him. A few days ago you’d voiced your concern to him about his fear or public speaking (around women).

“I think so, I usually just look at Jaeyun.” Sunghoon admits, shrugging.

“Well if you need to, you could look at me.” You suddenly suggest. Sunghoon feels the heat from his ears spread to his cheeks. “O-Okay.” He nods, focusing on his desk.

Even after all his training, you somehow had a way with words that could cause Sunghoon to shut right up again.

Not just that, you still made him nervous, there were moments he found you too beautiful to even look in your direction.

Home room goes by like a breeze, and soon enough it’s time for history, and one by one students begin to present their topics in the front of class.

“Park Sunghoon.” Mr. Song calls out, and Sunghoon awkwardly stands up, grabbing his notes.

“Good luck!” You send him an encouraging smile and a thumbs up. Just that alone made him feel invincible.

With newfound confidence, Sunghoon strides to the front, pulling up his powerpoint on the history of soybeans. But when he turns to his fellow classmates, his ego disappears and he’s suddenly reminded of how many eyes were on him.

He begins to panic, his words stuck in his throat and his thoughts become sludge. Everyone was looking at him. Everyone was whispering.

“What’s wrong with him?”

“Why is he taking so long?”

“Soybeans? That’s so boring.”

He can hear his teacher call out his name, asking him if he’s alright, but Sunghoon feels as if he’s been nailed to the ground, unable to move.

But as he focuses on his feet, he hears someone clear their throat loudly, his eyes shooting up.

You’re smiling. At him.

“You can do it!” You mouth, cheering him on. Suddenly it’s like he can breathe again. He can feel his body moving finally. All thanks to you of course.

“T-Today I’ll be talking about the history of soybeans in Korea.” Sunghoon announces suddenly, eyes trained on you.

You lean back into your seat, smile never disappearing as you listen intently.

“Where the hell is Riki?! I’m gonna kill him.” Jaeyun stomps over to the lunch table. Heeseung shrugs, mouth full of food.

“He’s not here, what happened?”

Jaeyun groans as he sits down, Sunghoon also taking his seat beside him. “He got Rickrolled.”

Jungwon snorts, choking on his food as he laughs. Jaeyun glares, picking at his lunch. “It’s not funny! He cost me my grade!”

“Pfft! Mr. Song docked you 10 points, you still have an A.” Sunghoon reminds him. The youngest of the bunch somehow got control of Jaeyun’s presentation, adding a bunch of memes into his slides.

“And ruined my 100 streak!” Jaeyun whines. “He won’t let me take any extra credit.” He sighs, letting his hunger take over as he shovels food into his face.

“Never gonna give you up! Never gonna let you down! Never gonna run around and desert you!” Riki sings and dances as he arrives at their table. He’s grinning from ear to ear, all the while Jaeyun glares mid-chew.

“Come on Jaeyun!” Riki nudges him. “Sing it with me! Never gonna make you cry-” He’s cut off when Jaeyun lunges at him, catching the boy in a headlock. “Nev-never gonna tell- a lie- ack!” Riki coughs as he continues to sing under Jaeyun’s grip.

“Shut up!” Jaeyun angrily sneers, just as Riki wriggles out of his arms. “Dude,” Riki is breathless. “Put on some deodorant or something! I almost died.” He gags.

“I’m seriously going to kill-”

Jongseong slams down his hand onto the table, making everyone jump.

“Uh, you good?” Jungwon eyes him. Jongseong zeroes in on him, his eyes ablaze. “No I am not good, Yang Jungwon.”

“Uh oh, cat fight,” Sunoo snickers to Sunghoon, earning a chuckle.

“Did I do something?” Jungwon eyes the others, before realizing Jongseong was only looking at him. “What do you think, Yang?!”

Jongseong suddenly digs into his pants pocket, and pulls out a crumpled piece of paper, tossing it to the first year. Jungwon catches it with ease, unraveling it suspiciously.

“Oh my God.”

“What? What is it? Show me!” Sunoo snatches the paper, his eyes reading as fast as lightning before he lets out a yelp, covering his mouth as he gawks at Jungwon.

“You’re being dramatic,” Sunghoon finally grabs the paper, sharing it with Jaeyun as Heeseung leans over the table to peer.

The paper turns out to be a list, and it has various names on it, including Jongseong’s and Jungwon’s. Nothing seems out of the ordinary. That is until he reads the title.

“How could you go behind my back and run for Student Council?! You knew I was applying!” Jongseong shouts.

“I didn’t!” Jungwon holds his hands up in the air. “Dude I promise, I think there’s been a mistake, I never even applied to be nominated!”

Jongseong eyes him, but concedes, looking just as confused. “But that doesn’t make sense. You can’t not know you’re running- for Student Body President!”

“Yeah, and to think you’re only running for Treasurer,” Jaeyun jabs. He earns himself a kick to the shin from Jongseong.

Riki is the only one who laughs, though it lingers longer than it should have, prompting suspicion.

“What did you do?” Jungwon questions. The youngest is too busy hugging his sides as he cackles.

“Oh my God! I’m gonna piss myself, you should have seen your face!” Riki wheezes.

“Riki, what did you do?!” Jongseong demands. After a few minutes, the boy’s laughter subsides. “We nominated Jungwon cause he fell asleep in homeroom,” He giggles.

“What?! Riki be serious.”

“Okay,” Riki shrugs. “Technically, I nominated Jungwon, but then everyone else voted for him. I found out the announcements were the same day as April Fool’s and thought it’d be a sick prank.”

“Someone’s feeling sick alright, me, that’s who.” Jongseong sighs. Sunoo pats his arm out of sympathy.

“Jongseong, dude, no one’s gonna actually vote for Jungwon.” Riki scoffs. “What kind of idiot votes a first year as their president?”

“The same idiots who voted for him to be a nominee?” Heeseung reminds him. Riki pauses. “That’s beside the point! Don’t worry, this will all blow over when they see how incompetent he is.”

“Hey! I’m competent!” Jungwon huffs. “I just choose not to be!”

“Make that your slogan, and you might just lose!” Sunoo teases. Jungwon rolls his eyes, rubbing his face.

“Hey guys! I heard the great news, congratulations!” Your sweet voice brings sudden joy to Sunghoon as you greet them all.

“Y/n!” He suddenly shoves Jaeyun to the side to make space for you to sit, causing both him and Riki to topple over. He ignores their complaints as you squeeze yourself in right next to him.

You finally take a good look around the table once you’re settled in.

Sunoo mindlessly picks at his food, beside him Jungwon seems to be experiencing his first ever existential crisis. Jongseong has a vice grip on a very beaten up piece of paper and Heeseung is too busy eating to notice the tension as Jaeyun keeps muttering about his grades. And Riki is blatantly glaring daggers at you.

The only person who seems relatively happy is Sunghoon.

“You guys seem to be having a really, uh- interesting day so far.” You cough. “As if you know what it’s like to be interesting- Ow! Jaeyun elbowed me!” Riki tattles.

“And you deserve it.” Jongseong sneers.

“Tough crowd today,” You whisper to Sunghoon as the others begin to bicker. “Yeah, Riki’s been burning some bridges, lately” He nods.

“Oh? Should I be worried?” You eye the boy, who is in fact now glaring even harder. “No.” Sunghoon shakes his head, trying to remain calm as you lean closer to him. “Um, maybe actually? Yes. Yes you should.” He finally decides.

“Uh huh.” You nod warily. “Well anyways, I was just wondering how you guys plan to run your campaigns? I have some experience since I helped last year when Taehyun was Secretary, and now he’s running for Vice President.”

Jongseong sits up straight, putting on a presentable smile. “I plan on winning by showing my responsibility and care for the students here at EN-High.”

The table goes quiet.

“Was that AI? Sounded like something ChatGPT wrote,” Heeseung looks around. “What? No! I’m trying to sound professional.” Jongseong sighs.

“Well I plan to drop out, I didn’t even want to be nominated, but someone thinks it’s funny to prey on the innocent.” Jungwon stares right at Riki, who is busy scrolling through his phone uninterested.

“I saw an opportunity and I took it, can you blame me?” He shrugs. “Yes! Yes, I can!” Jungwon shouts.

“Okay, so it sounds like both of you are losing.” You mutter beneath your breath. “Look, word of advice: students really value honesty and the ability to be realistic. People like it when you tell the truth.” You explain.

“Didn’t Taehyun win last year because he did magic tricks instead of a speech?” Sunghoon frowns. “Oh! I remember him! He was so cool! How did he pull that chicken out of that hat?!” Heeseung asks excitedly.

“He did have a speech, he just did his magic tricks after.” You correct him. “Also it was a parrot, not a chicken.”

“What does magic have to do with being on the student council?” Sunoo asks, looking confused. “If I vote for Taehyun, can he magically fix my grade back to 100?” Jaeyun questions. “Do you think if I partner with Taehyun, I have a better chance of winning?” Jongseong turns to you.

You hold your hand up to silence them, before looking at each of them individually.

“Apparently more than you’d think.” You say to Sunoo, before shaking your head at Jaeyun. “No, just take the L.”

“And yes, but only if you’re okay with him doing the Sawing-In-Half trick on you during the debate.” You tell Jongseong, who looks pale now.

Before you can say any more, the warning bell rings, signaling lunch would be over in five minutes. “Alright, see you guys later,” You stand up, getting out of your seat. “Let me know if you need more advice.” You joke.

“I’ll see you in class?” Sunghoon asks, as if you two weren’t seatmates. You laugh, and teasingly pat his arm, causing his whole body to burn.

“Yeah, see you!” You wave, running off. He watches you as you return to your friends at your table across the cafeteria, his heart swelling.

“Oooh! Someone’s got a crush!” Sunoo suddenly giggles.

Sunghoon feels his stomach turn excitedly, his ears burning a bright red. “Shut up!” He mumbles, covering his face.

His friends begin to tease him, Sunghoon shakes his head furiously, though he peeks through his hands to glance at you once more.

When you laugh at something Kai says, he begins to wonder if his friends are on to something.

“Ta-da!”

You’re grinning as you flip your paper around to present to Sunghoon.

He looks up, blinks, then frowns.

“You like to eat stomachs?” He reads your calligraphy. “Huh? No, I like to eat pears.” You look at your paper yourself, confused.

Sunghoon begins to laugh, before standing up to walk around the table to your side. “You need to press down lightly on this character.” He instructs, leaning over you.

Instead of taking your brush like he usually did when he showed you the correct way, he grabbed your hand.

“L-Like this,” He stutters, leaning even closer to you as you allow him to guide you on the paper. Your hand is really small compared to his own, his fingers are almost half as long.

Your skin is soft and warm, he doesn't want to let go.

“Oh!” You suddenly exclaim, and he jumps back, releasing your hand.

“So that’s how you do it? Let me try again.” You begin to attempt again on your own. He watches over you as you try your best, all of your focus on your calligraphy.

He finds the way you scrunch your face up as you focus endearing, you’ve made a lot of progress.

Your reattempt is still not the best, but Sunghoon can admit this time he could actually read it. “You’re doing a lot better,” He says as he returns to his seat. “Really? I’ve been practicing at home,” You admit.

“You’ve been practicing?” Sunghoon repeats, surprised at your dedication. If he were being honest, he thought your interest in calligraphy was only confined to the old library.

“Yeah,” You smile, getting shy. “I want to show you my best.”

Oh.

The two of you keep eye contact as Sunghoon feels his face and ears begin to heat up. He was probably red all over from just that one compliment. Didn’t help that you looked gorgeous while staring at him.

“I-I think-uh- You’re doing a really good job so far.” He finally looks away, his nerves getting the best of him.

“Thank you.” You hum, smiling to yourself. “Oh, it’s already almost four, we should probably get going.” You say, and begin cleaning up.

The two of you quickly grab your stuff and sweep down the table before heading out.

Outside the sun is still bright, yet it’s lower in the sky than before. You both walk down the street, shoulder to shoulder. Every time you bump into each other, Sunghoon feels his heart race.

“Hey, want one?” You suddenly ask, opening your palm to reveal two pieces of creamy milk candy. The bright bunny logo catches his eye.

The idea of sharing candy with you is exhilarating to Sunghoon. Your sweet nature mimicked the sweetness of the candy awaiting before him.

“Thank you,” He smiles at you, letting his fingers graze your palm.

Together you two unwrap the candies, poppin them into your mouths. Sunghoon takes a bite and-

“What the fuck?!” You spit your candy back into its wrapper, face contorted in absolute disgust. Sunghoon doesn’t hesitate to do the same, gagging as he does so.

“This is a crayon!” Sunghoon grimaces, wiping his mouth with his handkerchief. “Where the hell did you get these?!”

You shake your head, trying to get the taste out of your mouth, but to no avail. “I don’t- I don’t remember I just- Riki handed some to me, and-”

“Wait,” Sunghoon interrupts you. “Riki gave you these?”

You nod, first confused, then realizing what he meant. “Oh my god I’m so stupid.” You groan. “I should have known when he randomly apologized to me, he even suggested I share them with you!”

“He’s always one step ahead,” Sunghoon glares into the distance. “Ugh I can’t get the taste out of my mouth!” You spit.

“I swallowed a little, will I die?” He worries, voicing his concern. “I need water- juice, I need something!” You look around for a vending machine.

“There! A Family Mart!” Sunghoon points down the road. He turns to you with an eager expression, holding his hand out to you.

“Come on, let’s go!” He urges. You hurriedly grab his hand, and the two of you run down the street, groans of disgust soon turning into giggles of excitement.

Sunghoon's lesson he learned today was that he doesn’t mind holding your hand. In fact, he likes it.

He likes you.

Log 3: Wednesday - March 6th, 2024 | Log 5: Wednesday - May 15th, 2024

I Can't, I Have Rehearsal masterlist | and scene! series masterlist | kpop masterlist

reply/comment for taglist!

[genderqueerdykes]

We're appreciating these pro-endo posts as an endogenic, especially the fact you account for traumatized endogenics (we at least notice "usually" and other such words in a lot of posts, and were taught at a young age how to analyze shit because of being autistic) so like...thanks. :)

Hopefully y'all are okay, anti-endos are really showing their asses this time in your asks. And we hope everyone else realizes they have always been that bigoted.

hey of course, thanks for sending this ask!

yeah i don't know why people don't understand that endogenic systems can... also have trauma. like. endogenic doesn't mean 100% free from trauma. anyone can have trauma. trauma doesn't always manifest in the most extreme forms possible like dissociative disorders. like i cannot stress enough that dissociative disorders are a very specific kind of plurality, and should NOT be used as a metric to gauge whether or not someone's plural experience is legitimate or not. the diagnostic criteria for dissociative disorders is so painfully restrictive that a lot of people who probably do have a dissociative disorder don't get the diagnosis because it's so fucking specific

and again, i just want to stress that endogenic systems literally are not hurting anyone. you are not spitting in my face or talking over me as a system with DID. you are being respectful by using a term that suits your experience way better. like idk how that is offensive to people. endogenic systems developed a term to express a specific type of plurality. that's not trying to mock or ape on dissociative plurality. it's not an attempt to talk over dissociatives. it's creating an entirely new conversation that needs to be had

people getting upset about endogenic systems are creating mountains out of mole hills. it is quite literally a nothing burger of a problem. there IS no problem. nothing wrong is even happening. like i cannot overstate how fucking annoying it is when other dissociatives decide its time to get on their high horses and act as if they're suddenly experts on psychology and mental health. like it really pisses me off when other plurals with dissociative disorders decide the entire plural community is about them. the dissociative disorder communities are about plurals with dissociative disorders. specifically. you can still occupy spaces made for people with DID, OSDD and so on and leave endogenics alone and the world will keep turning. the sun will rise tomorrow regardless.

learn to mind your own goddamn business if you can't respect that other people experience the world differently than you do. maybe, just maybe, the dissociatives who are intentionally going out of their way to mock and harass endogenic systems are the fucking problem, here. you don't get to be a fucking bully just because you have trauma. you don't get to attack and hurt people who haven't hurt you just because you were abused. that's literally fucking perpetuating the cycle of abuse. if you think to yourself that because you are traumatized, that it's okay to take your anger out on people who have no trauma, you seriously need to reassess your life. what does that do for you? temporary catharsis? a rush of dopamine that lasts mere seconds? chasing the high of harassing strangers will not undo what was done to you in the past.

as a dissociative- i only understand what dissociative plurality is like. i do not understand other forms of plurality. and you know what? i don't find the fact that other types of plurality existing offensive to me. it's just not. i've been very close friends with so many endogenic, spiritual, natural, etc. systems out there over the years. i have never found it offensive for anyone to say "oh hey i'm plural too!" and then explain a different plural experience than the one i have. thats why the term plural even exists, because it encompasses a broad range of plural experiences, not just dissociative ones.

like, to the dissociatives who are pissed off that endos exist: literally stay in dissociative disorder-centric spaces and tags. they're right there. you HAVE a community that you can interact with who understand exactly what you're going through. if it offends you that you find a VARIETY of plural experiences in the general plural community- that community isn't for you. like seriously. if it offends you that deeply that other types of plurality exist- the general plural community is not for you. it's literally not made for you if you can't except that numerous types of plurality exist. you have spaces you can occupy that ARE made 100% for people just like you. you can quite literally stay in spaces made for dissociative plurals only. like. you can do that. that's an option. and you can stop bullying other people out of spaces that they rightfully belong in.

trauma is never excuse to be a fucking jackass. it's perpetuating the cycle of abuse. that's nothing to be proud of. break the cycle. stop abusing people just because you were abused.

[lexithwrites]

I NEED MORE ON CHUBBY REGULUS JEGULUS RELATIONSHIP I NEED MORE PLEASE I LOVE YOU 🙏

Oh my babies I missed talking about them (it feels like there’s a target on my back when I want to do it now bc of twitter lmao) this rep is v important to me bc I feel like it helps with my own insecurities lmao

— James has a habit of kissing across regulus’ stomach and nuzzling it, he loves feeling his hips and the curve of his body and he’s so soft, reg never understood it until James started to keep the weight gain and he did it back to him

— to James, the fact regulus gained weight is a good thing bc it means he’s relaxed, he’s seen the way his relationship with food evolved and it just makes him happy that he could help him through that

— I feel like it also happens to Sirius when he lived with James and his parents, so regulus is a bit more okay with it since his brother is happy in his own body as well now

— James’ shirts will always still be oversized on him since he’s broader so regardless of his weight gain reg can be comfortable and warm in them

— it also shows how he’s disconnecting from his old life, from his parents ideals of what they wanted him and Sirius to look like/to act like

— his favourite snack is probably Milky Way magic stars, he’s obsessed with them

— regulus can’t cook I stand by that lmao but James slowly teaches him little things just so he understands and doesn’t feel guilty (he just prefers James’ cooking tho Effie and Monty taught him well growing up)

[multi-fandomsfreak]

Heya! I was wondering if you could make a lil fanfic of shadow the hedgehog and mobian!reader

where the reader has a fascination with death and everything morbid due to seeing and being in lots of tragedies and shadow is mostly unaware of this but finally starts noticing the reader’s obsessive like fascination with death and wants to confront them about it

Shadow With A Mobian!Reader Who Has A Fascination With Death

Hey there! Thanks for the ask!

Sorry it took kinda long to do this. Honestly kind of lost motivation to write stuff lately but I think it’s coming back. I don’t know. Regardless, I hope you like it.

Pronouns: Not Mentioned

Warning: ⚠️Mentions Of Death + Suicide (Not Actually Committing But Talks About Wanting To) + Spoilers For Shadow’s Backstory⚠️

Requested: Yes/No

Characters: Shadow + Mention Of Maria

Proofread: ❌

Credits: Art by CoffeeBearSama on Twitter/X + Banner by salintvll (Edited by me) on Pinterest

———————————

- Honestly at first Shadow never noticed or asked about your obsession when it comes to death. He’s quite the loner so he doesn’t really indulge in anyone or their personal interests. That’s just what he’s like. Not that he’s completely dismissive of any of your interests, it's just his response to you telling him or him hearing about it is just ‘okay’. Maybe you could persuade him to join in but it may take a while but he does partake in it.

- Though eventually he does notice your interest in death. He might have heard it from someone else, maybe from you or he just so happened to discover it himself. At first admittedly he was a bit put off by it not outright it’s just he’s never really seen someone even remotely interested in death unless they’re willingly want to experience it. And to be honest even before he discovers how obsessed you were with it he’s still a little concerned that you want to end yourself so he decides to keep a close eye on you in case you actually do want to end yourself.

- However, his worry does become way worse when he slowly discovers how obsessed you actually were with it. He started to notice how you talked about it. The fact you were talking about it so casually, talking in depth about it makes him more concerned than when he discovered it. In his own way he’s genuinely worried about you. I feel like this kind of evolved from what happened to Maria that he feels compelled to make sure it doesn’t happen to anyone else especially if he’s somewhat close with you.

- When he does confront you about it you may have to spend most of your time convincing him that you're okay. Honestly with the way you're talking about it he’s thinking you genuinely want to end yourself and he doesn’t want that. To him you’ve still got a lot to live for and you shouldn’t cut it short. It probably took a while for him to be convinced that you were alright. You’d probably have to explain how you gained interest in it, more specifically the shit you had to go through which made you like this.

- When you do tell him about the horrible tragedies that’s when it hits him about your obsessive fascination with death. Now he understands why you're like this. He does feel bad for you for experiencing the things you did and thinks that it must be a coping mechanism for you in a way. Even with you convincing him that it's genuinely an interest nothing more he’d still be concerned for you and tell you that if you ever need to talk he’d be there for you and listen to what you need to say.

- I do kind of feel like Shadow would be kind of interested in a way. Not like how you are, I have a feeling it’s mostly for confirmation or reassurance. It’s not that big of a surprise that he’s greatly affected by the death of Maria, someone who he’s undoubtedly the closest with. Even if a lot of time has gone by since it deep down even if he doesn’t want to admit it he still wishes that she was still alive and misses her greatly. With your interest in death he may go up to you and ask about it. He really would like your opinion about it though at first not going in that great detail about it. Even though he claims he is not interested in it he kind of wants confirmation that she’d be alright and is proud of him.

- Oddly enough, having these talks with you is very comforting for him. He finds himself being more calm about his feelings when it comes to death himself. I think the fact that he doesn’t have to bottle them up like he usually does and is free to just let it out. As soon as he’s done ranting he can feel himself just relax as he thanks you for letting him talk about it. He likes having these moments with you and he really appreciates you listening to him and the other way round.

———————————

[narutouzumakiarchive]

How to deal with the homophobic and horrible ss, nh, sh etc. stans? Just reading their content makes me feel gaslighted and makes me want to quit my little sns blog, because I feel isolated.

First of all, I'm sorry you feel that way. The best thing to do is honestly to just ignore them. The canon ships, in particular, are horrid and are consequently routinely subjected to lots of criticism by people outside of the carefully constructed echo chambers of canon shippers. SS/NH fans cope with this by harassing SNS shippers who have been a particular source of insecurity for the entire run of the show. There's a reason why they routinely steal from the sns dynamic to prop up their ship and have to rely on fillers and novels and databooks, etc. instead of working with the manga.

This brings me to my next point. Part of the reason they are so emboldened is because the "victors" are the ones who write the story, and they've used this to control the narrative and recontextualize what actually happened during the original run of the story. So, something you should know is that SNS fans have always been right about the core of the manga.

While there were obviously endgame SS/NH believers, the idea that Sasuke/Sakura and Naruto/Hinata were mutually in love was not a unifying factor in those fandoms.

In the Naruto Collector Book 3, there was an interview in which Kishimoto himself acknowledged the fact that Sakura and Hinata's feelings of love were unrequited. This interview is practically lost media, and is conveniently never discussed but the book is still available. The collector series has other interviews with Kishimoto as well.

But the main point is that this interview was released in 2007, long after we were already into Part 2 of the manga. This firstly debunks the idea that there was a secret budding love story that was sabotaged by SP, though you don't need any interview to tell you that Sasuke literally only thinking of Team 7 during Sakura's love confession, or Naruto not reflecting on any special moments with Hinata was proof enough of the lack of romance. More importantly, however, this is connected to my point about belief in "true love all along" was not a unifying factor in the SS/NH fandoms. Many of them were aware of this interview (see the respective examples of a SS fan and a NH fan reacting to it below) and thus spent their time taking solace in databooks and writing longwinded posts about how mutual romantic development weren't required for endgame.

What DID unite solo/multshipping SS in particular was the belief that Sasuke considered Sakura special, and thus, she would be the one who helped heal his heart. And this belief is where the real "war" between SS/SNS lied. If you look at old SNS posts, you'll see that there was never a unifying belief that SNS would be canon either, for obvious reasons. You'll notice that many posts were prefaced with some variation of "regardless of the nature of their bond...." because it wasn't so much what they were to each other rather than how significant they were to each other. You'll see a lot of posts about them transcending traditional relationship categories.

So this was the primary context in which SS and SNS fans argued. You can see below just some of the drivel that SS came up with. They have always been relentlessly insecure harassers who used to attack SNS fans for simply seeing the direction in which the manga would go.

They ignored Naruto making Sasuke's heart beat repeatedly, they ignored Naruto being tied to Sasuke's sharingan transformation — which later in the manga was explicitly called out for being the reflection of the heart that SNS fans postulated it was. They ignored the fact that Sakura was rendered fungible [a fact you can see reflected in the interview below when Kishimoto discusses what makes Team 7 special and completely evades mention of Sakura] and that Kishi usurped moments that could have been special for Sasuke and Sakura by including Naruto (eg. Sasuke bringing up not wanting Naruto to worry in the FOD, Sasuke thinking about Naruto to keep the curse mark at bay as well despite the fact that Sakura was the one who was explicitly worried about him, Sasuke including Naruto and talking about precious nakama in the fight against Gaara despite the fact that Sakura was the only one in mortal danger, etc.). They ignored the fact that Sasuke quite literally hierarchially ranked Naruto as a more intimate friend than Sakura. Harassed SNS fans for pointing out the basic setup in the manga that served to reinforce SNS fans' interpretations because they constructed a version of the manga that was wholly centered on the special and unique "bond" between Sakura/Sasuke.

All this lasted to the war arc. They twisted themselves in pretzels to argue about how Sasuke leaving Sakura to burn in lava and outright stating that her and Kakashi's lives didn't matter was him repressing his super secret feelings of care for her while attempting to downplay the mutual affection displayed in the SNS bond. Even the more "neutral" pro team 7 SS fans looked for ways to subtly denigrate SNS' bond. Sasuke makes no mentions of Sakura when the 10 tails is about to blow up the shinobi alliance? Who cares because at least Sakura's face doesn't have a cut across it (yes, they really did misinterpret pro SNS moments where Sasuke individuated Naruto as negative). And they did all this while making anti Sasunaru clubs and hiding in forums to complain about how SNS was getting too much focus in the manga (something older fans can attest to) because deep down many of them saw the writing on the wall.

Now SNS fans, on the other hand, displayed the critical reading skills that the SS fandom lacked — and I don't mean that facetiously. They picked up on the fact that it was significant that Sasuke lost control of himself when Naruto showed up. They understood the significance of Sasuke specifically asking about the status of the 9 tails given the prior context of Sasuke specifically needing to kill Naruto because he wanted to become stronger. They recognized that Naruto was specifically singled out with a cut precisely because he was special by picking up on the patterns peppered throughout the text. They also respected the Team 7 bonds established in Part 1 — they had no need to undermine it because there was a confidence in Naruto/Sasuke's relationship being special — while understanding the disadvantage in the fact that Sasuke and Sakura dynamic always included a "we" (see example from a 2008 analysis below). They knew there would be a reconciliation in which the tension between duty and desire would be resolved and would lead to Sasuke accepting his heart/inner child which would lead him to Naruto.

And lo and behold, 698 came and SNS fans were validated while SS fans were livid and angry. They complained and harassed SNS blogs and threw tantrums and cried about the manga being retconned. It's so easy for them to pretend they knew everything in hindsight, but the receipts don't lie. There has never been anyone more in denial about the core facts of the manga than SS/NH fans. Don't let them prevent you from supporting SNS. The SNS bond was validated.

Even to this day, they have never gotten over the fact that Sasuke confirmed their worst nightmares which is why they have to cope by literally cropping Naruto out of panels (Look at the 97 likes — and this is tame for them), spreading poor translations, and taking glee in the idea of Kishimoto not being the arbiter of canonicity, so they can take refuge in material not written by him, because they hate what he did write.

As I type this, they are getting made fun of in different languages and SS fans are coping by pretending that anyone who points out the dysfunction of their implied no kiss couple has has no literacy and is ignoring 700 chapters of development, the development in question being Sakura still acting infantile while Sasuke remains indifferent.

Why should you feel isolated because you want to support the main bond when SS fans even have to lie about the poorly written filler novels that were expressly created FOR them (eg. Sakura forcefully kissing Sasuke and then Sasuke immediately grabbing Naruto and leaving Sakura to fall off the motorcycle they were all riding on; A scene SS fans repeatedly lied about and repeatedly misrepresented).

Unfortunately I've nearly run out of images and I didn't even get to finish highlighting all of the lies of SS or discuss NH fans the way I wanted too but please, don't worry about the hate and the homophobia. A significant part of it is them lashing out because of insecurity.

Then and now, nothing has changed.

They hated the fact that Kishimoto wasn't concerned with Hinata's unrequited feelings and patiently waited for Sasuke to fade into oblivion so Naruto and Hinata could ride off into the sunset. When that didn't come, and Naruto prioritized Sasuke even after Hinata's confession, they took to harassing SNS fans. All they have is a retcon movie that Kishimoto wasn't even devoted to, which is why, in addition to lionizing scenes from the film, they even have to read panels incorrectly to achieve some satisfaction.

SNS is amazing and enough to keep me occupied, but another way of dealing with the hatred and homophobia (which is the main point of this post) is remembering why it's so rampant in the first place. The reason you feel gaslighted is because they are literally trying to rewrite history (these people have even lied about how much their novel sold and had to be corrected by a sale tracking account).

I haven't even scratched the surface, but you can see a few more examples here, here, here, and here. Giving in to their bullying is how the liars win. Don't let them!

[brownsugaboba]

title: “The Tension Between Us: 19+ version.”

december 22nd, 2024.

————————————————————————————

nanami kento x reader.

- black reader. (anyone can read, but emphasis on black.)

- 19+. (NO MINORS, only 19+)

————————————————————————————

“nanami, are you teasing me?” you ask him with a smile as he continue to catch your breath.

he opens his eyes and they linger down your face, to your neck, and finally your chest as it rises. he couldn’t help himself, it was getting harder and harder for him to stand here and do nothing to the most stunning piece of art that landed into his fingerprints.

“absolutely.”

you can’t help but crack a small smirk at his blunt and honest response.

“at least be easy with me..” you tease back with your head tilted slightly, and eyes still not looking away from his brown ones; standing your ground still.

his eyes finally look past your chest and up into your own. “aren’t i always?” he gently traces small circles along your ass cheeks.

you smile widely, your small dimple on your right cheek finally breaking through. “you remember what happened last time..”

“you sure you can handle this, honey.” you couldn’t help but chuckle softly at your own response, considering nanami’s face changed almost immediately after.

he remembered the night unfortunately, and though he only lasted a few seconds, he remembered the intoxicating moment like no other. the tightness around your skin, and how only half of him could fit inside. regardless, the outcome was the same.

“it-“ he pauses. “it wasn’t entirely my fault.” he eyes grow destined for the moment to happen again after remembering it in full. the bulge in his pants already making it difficult for him to breathe.

“honey~“ you chuckle and he quickly interrupts you.

“no~” he mocks you, which makes you smile even more. “don’t honey me.”

“you couldn’t even fit all of me inside, sweetheart.” his voice was soft and whisper like, and it distracted you from him backing you up to the back of the front door.

“nanami i was-“

he interrupts you once again, his eyes completely full of lust and love now. “it made it a bit difficult to last, even then.. look at you. how long do i truly need my love?”

you gaze into his eyes and listen to his response closely, however, all you can think about was that day. that night..

“are you blaming it on me?” you ask him with a smirk.

“absolutely not.” he says with no hesitation, and continues to push you against the door. once you make it there fully he moves his hands from your back and bring them to your hips; tracing the curves of your body on each side.

“i came a bit earlier than we both would’ve liked..” he starts. “so let me show you that i wont. let me show you that i can last (y/n).”

you knew that he only called you by your name when he truly wanted something, needed it so dearly. and he knew that you wouldn’t say no. and though he had that one thing that could control you so easily, you loved it. just the sound of your name leaving his lips. though to everyone else it sounded exactly the same, it sounded completely different to you.

before you can respond however, he moves his head lower down to your level; and since you were already slightly tall, it made things easier. he places his head in the crook of your neck and gently whispers into your ear, his lips purposefully touching your skin as he did so.

“i want this.” his hands find their way to your backside again, and he gives your cheeks a gentle squeeze. you can’t help but arch your back and let out a small hitch of breath in reaction to his sudden action.

“nana~mi.” the last syllable of his name had a slight moan added onto it as he gently glided his tongue along the side of your neck. you weren’t sure where this boldness came from, but you loved every second of it.

he slowly places a few kisses up along the now wet trail along your neck. his hands move from your backside and instead go up to hold your now arched back and pulls you in more.

he then pulls his head away and connects his eyes with yours again. however, he doesn’t go too far, he lets the tip of his nose run along your face. feeling the bumps and grooves he knew all too well.

“let me show you that i can make you moan-” he pauses in his speaking and movement, moving his lips over to yours. he gently bites your lower one before continuing.

“louder than they can make you laugh.”

he lean into his bite, arching your back fully now, wanting him to now taste you fully. he had you. right where he needed you, and you knew it. you couldn’t do anything less but to give in.

“let’s go do it then.” you finally let out, your heartbeat beginning to beat a bit faster than the few seconds before.

he lets out a small scoff and moves his lips away from yours now, which made you a bit saddened but nonetheless curious.

“why walk upstairs in those heels, and hurt your pretty feet, when i can have you here?” he asked, but it came out more like a statement. he pulls his head away from yours a bit more and slowly turns your body around, so that you faced the front door now.

you eyes were now aligned with the small round opening on the front door. you could see the dark sky, and other surrounding neighbors homes.. but you could only hear and feel your husband behind you.

he looks down and eyes your backside as he turns you, the arousing feeling in his heart and trousers only grew. he brings his hands down to your ass once again, holding both cheeks in either hand. he gently strokes the silk fabric covering your skin, before giving both a tight squeeze.

“i can’t believe i let you leave out like this, what an awful husband i am.” he says truly saddened.

you tense just slightly at the squeeze, not fully expecting it from him again. you can’t help but to arch your back just slightly and push out your size a bit more.. though you quickly stopped once seeing your neighbors leave out of their home.

“nanami, we can do this upstairs? the pullmans just-“

you were interrupted by his quick action of pulling you in close, and pushing your body forward; closer to the front door. with your head, now to the side, he moves his own to go beside it.

“i’ll talk you through it to keep you quiet, don’t worry sweetheart.” he whispers, trying to reassure you, but it did nothing.

all you could feel was the coolness from the door and his warm hands making their way underneath your dress. you felt as the silk fabric slowly rose above your thigh then your stomach. he moves his head from your own and looks down at the sight of your lace panties in his favorite color. the color only his favorite because of how it fell perfectly on your skin.

“it’s like you knew..” he whispered and you couldn’t help but smile, but your smile soon turned into a small gasp once he gently ran two fingers down your crack; along the lace fabric.

the small touch made your whole body feel hot, something only he could do. “nanami please..” you let out softly, hoping your neighbors didn’t hear. you’ve never gotten any noise complaints before, but that’s because you weren’t right behind the door.

“my sweet baby is begging already?” he whispered to you with a smile, going to place a peck on your cheek.

he moves his fingers back up your covered crack, then back down again a harder than before. he moves his fingers fuller down, running over your other covered holes as well.

you let out a soft moan, trying to catch your breath once again. you bring you hand up to cover your mouth, but nanami quickly grabs it with his other. instead, he moves it to your front side, and slowly inserts it inside your panties. he moves two of your fingers lower down and gently glides them across the surface of your now wet pussy, before moving his hand away.

you breaths speed up even more throughout his actions, knowing exactly what he was doing before he does it. “nanami, they’re right outside..”

once you finally feel your fingers gliding around the wet surface you made, you let out yet another moan.. and watch your neighbors glance over at the door.

nanami moved his head from beside yours and gently removed your panties, watching them slide down your legs. he brought his other hand fingers up to his mouth, and gently licked the two before bring them back down and running them along your crack once again.

the cool sensation sent a small shiver down your body, which only made him smirk in response. he then, without hesitation, inserted one of his fingers inside of your asshole; gently beginning to move it back and forth.

you let out a rather large gasp before groaning and slowly closeting your eyes. however the sight of your neighbors pointing at the door and whispering to one another made you grow quiet. instead, your legs tightened together, your hand still in between your thighs.

“honey.. we-“ you stop yourself as you feel another groan come up, and another one of your husbands fingers entering inside your whole. you close your eyes and try to get used to the new sensation, but you were too tight and body already trembling.

“sweetheart breathe for me..” nanami breathes out, he uses his other hand to unzip and unbuckle his trousers, finally releasing a bit of fabric so that his boner could breathe a bit. he takes his member out with a groan.

he slowly takes his fingers out of you and bring them up to his mouth to lick the taste of you away. he then wraps his arms fully around your waist, and pull you in entirely so that his boner was aligned with your crack. now with it against it, he gently moves his hips upward a bit, letting his length rub against you.

with both of your moans now intertwined, you can’t help but forget about the neighbors outside; and nanami could care less.

he moves his head beside yours yet again, his breaths almost as heavy as your own. “you’re too tight sweetheart, you need to breathe and relax.”

you try to take deep breaths but the only thing you can think about is how good nanami feels against you. “i don’t think i can.” you finally get out, your eyes closing even more as he continues to rub against you.

“insert one baby..” he whispered and placed a small kiss along your shoulder. “insert two.”

with no hesitation, you obey. you insert two of your fingers inside your vagina. your back almost immediately arching because of it. you couldn’t help it. your body felt so good that every touch felt too much.

nanami keeps ahold of your body, close and against his own, even when you almost lose your balance. though, you almost do, you thrust your fingers in and out of yourself. only causing more moans to be released from your lips. as you speed up the motion, and finally find your g spot, you don’t stop.

nanami notices this, and realizes how focused you are on hitting your climax. he uses this to his advantage, and pulls himself away from your body a bit to find your asshole once again. once he does he holds his member in his hand and gently inserts the tip of it.

you stop your fingers for a second, once you feel the new sensation. your body involuntarily pushes back against it; wanting more of the feeling inside.

nanami watched this with a smirk as he lets out a rather loud moan, inserting more of him in you. he feels you body slightly lose its balance again but he of course holds you back up in place; ready to take more in.

he pushes more into you, then more, then finally the last bit of what’s left. when it comes to the last of him, you let out a loud whine, and throw your head back, away from the door. your fingers slowly slide out of your heat right before you can release..

“n…n..nanami please..” you cry out. “i’m so close..”

he doesn’t mean to ignore you, however he does by mistake. with you two fully connected now, he wraps his stable body around yours like before and pulls you close once again. his arms wrapped around your body entirely as you fall back onto him.

“(y/n)..” he breaths out, his head beside your own as he holds on to you for dear life. “i need you to gain a bit of control, can you do that for me sweetheart?”

“please..” he whispers and you nod your head.

you open your eyes slowly, allow for the build up tears of pleasure to finally fall. nanami slowly lets go of your body, and slowly find your balance once again. he backs away from the front door while still connected to you, and gently leads your hand to the foyer table to hold on to.

“hold this and breathe sweetheart, i’ll have us both finished in a few seconds.”

you shiver from his confidence, your body continuing to tremble from the overwhelmingly pleasurable sensation from behind.

before you could even get another breath in, your body jumped slightly at the rather large thrust nanami pushed against you. you lose your breath completely and try to find it again once you feel his member leave your hole. but nanami thrust back in again.. then lets it out.. then trust. then again, and again.

you grip onto the table and slowly start to bend over, enjoying the amounts of pain that came with the pleasure of nanami fitting inside of you.

he grips your cheeks as he thrusts over and over, his groans filling the house like a loud broadcasting channel. you thrust back against him, not nearly as hard as him, but hard enough to help him.

“(y/n..), (y/n…)” he lets out in heavy breaths as he continued to thrust.

“honey you feel so good.. i want to feel more.”

“i’m so close sweetheart, im-“ he pauses his speaking and actions, allowing for his member to tremble and twitch inside of you before finally releasing. he lets out a loud moan, along with you, and watches the sight down below.

you let out even more moans, and bring your thighs together to squeeze them, feeling your climax coming back.

he lets go of your cheeks and gently take out his member, allowing for the cum to run out of your hole, onto the floor. and for the rest, that’s on his tip, to wipe along your ass.

you shake your cheeks just slightly after feeling the warm substance on it, and turn your head to see his reaction.

nanami licks his lips at the sight, his eyes still hungry however when he finally locks eyes with you again.

he almost immediately drops his member and goes to cup your cheeks. (on your face.) “i haven’t seen those beautiful brown eyes in so long.” he whispers, his breath still shaky, along with his body.

you smile at his comment, your body turning around to face him, still trembling under his touch as well. “i could say the same about yours..” you breathe out.

“is it my turn?”

the question from you makes his heart flutters entirely, wanting to give you every last bit of him and more.

he gently picks you up and places you gently on the table that you were just gripping on for support. you keep your eyes connected with his own throughout his every move, not caring what he did with your body. you trusted him throughout it all.

he spread your legs and lifted them, placing them on his shoulders so that he could see you fully. his eyes slowly leave your own and trail down your body. he moves a bit of your dress out of the way so that he could see your breasts. he lets his hand now trail the middle of chest, down to your heat. he runs two fingers beside your lips before and brings his hand up to taste the substance you created.

your heat beat grows fast as you watch his every move.. once he put his fingers in his mouth, you couldn’t help but let out a small moan.. simply thinking about his tongue against you now.

he moves his hand down his body and grabs his still hard member, he runs his hand along the length before gently placing it inside.

you thought he was going to place only the tip like he usually did, however he inserted all of it. you kept your eyes connected with his own, though they closed a bit throughout feeling his full length inside of you.

you let out a gasp once all of him was inside, and you let out an even louder gasp once he started to move himself in and out of you.

his hands gently run along your naked legs, as he turns his head to the side and presses a soft kiss along your leg. he lets out a few groan against the skin there, and leans into it. fully enjoying how perfect his size fit inside of your vagina.

after a few more soft movements he slowly starts to speed up, his thrusting growing more rough this time around since he was a bit more stable; and you were less tight.

you legs involuntarily opened wider, and you let out more moans, closer your eyes as he sped up. you bring you hand to lay on your belly, feeling the imprint of him inside of you, then out.. then inside yet again.

“nanami honey.. n..nanami oh..” you mumble out and feel your thighs beginning to close and twitch.

he sees this as well and brings his hands down to hold them fully apart. he grips your thighs and quickens his thrusts inside of you, widening you by the second.

you throw your head back once again, letting out louder moans now. you were close, too close..

“i gonna cum.. b..baby i’m gonna c..cum.” nanami breathed out through his thrusts, your breasts moving in the same fast speed as him.

“me too baby.. tell me when… tell me when.” he breathed, waiting for his call.

he thrusts his quickest and holds it, pulling you in close to his embrace before finally releasing once he felt you did.

you let out a loud moan of his name and released as well, holding him tightly as you trembled still, now more than ever.

you slowly pull away from him and look down at the substances mix. nanami couldn’t help but smile at your quickness to see the sight. he gently takes his member out of you, and cum a bit more of your surface; slapping down his tip a few times just to get a small reaction out of you. like you did earlier with him.

you let out a small moan and watch as the cum slides off the table and onto the floor.

“should we go again, sweetheart?” he asks with a small smirk, pushing his tip along your heat.

fin.

————————————————————————————

note: i also didn’t read this over before posting.. it’s just been sitting in my drafts and i wanted to get rid of it. so if there are mistakes, close your eyes and shake your head a few times and they’ll disappear..

also, please let me know if you guys want me to include twitter links so that you can VISUALLY see what i’m writing about! i was going to include them but i wasn’t sure.

let me know some feedback!

thank you.

[verdantwyrm]

Going to platform myself off this because Hi. I talked about this. Thank you for providing a clip.

Audio in mouthwashing, the sounds, soundtrack, the SFX, everything, are all so incredibly well thought-out and it's a major influence on how scenes are supposed to be interpreted. This is the only time in the game that this audio cue is even played. And it's even a full audio clip found on the official soundtrack called "I Told Him" where you can listen to this more and uninterrupted.

Curly is panicking, why? because Anya Told Jimmy. He's panicking because he's terrified of what Jimmy is going to do now that she has Told Him. It could be anything, it could mean anything, and his only course of action is to Get To Him before he does anything at all. When you click on other interactive things in this sequence, you're only met with the chilling dialogue of

"I have to get to the Cockpit."

For a lot of reasons, but one that stood out the most to me was that's where the rope is, and that's where the gun is (Jimmy doesn't know it's not there.) He is terrified of Jimmy hurting himself, lashing out in some physical way that ends up hurting himself or doing something incredibly reckless that might end up hurting someone else (Which is why Curly insisted that he be there when Anya was Telling Jimmy). And when we do get to the Cockpit he is in fact, standing right outside and right, it's a potential thing that maybe Jimmy was looking for something to hurt Anya with, and because there was nothing his priorities changed to just taking everyone out, because it's easier, its quicker, and he isn't thinking about later, he's thinking about now and reacting accordingly.

Remember that when the ship is crashing, guess who's on the ground shaking? Jimmy.

And guess who's in shock that Jimmy went through with such a thing? Curly.

He knew it was bad, but this was worse, something so much worse than he could have ever anticipated. He thought he did what his role was, the mediator, to calm Jimmy down and to rationalise with him, to remind him and help him through whatever was troubling him. Whether you interpret this as him lying through his teeth, or him being genuine, the goal here is the same regardless, to Calm Him Down. Which Curly thought he did, hence, the small sigh of relief.

He had no idea what was going to happen, but his panic, his heart racing, and his urgency were all very well the right thing to have, but nothing could have prepared him for what was going to happen.

Something interesting to note, that others have pointed out before. As curly rushes to jimmy, the sound track sounds like a racing heartbeat. Curly is panicking here, maybe even on the verge of an anxiety attack or panic attack

[hunterofartemis7]

Adopted by the gods AU pt.13

Athena: OH BULLSHIT! Than how the fuck do you explain that!?

Anticlea: HE WAS TAKEN FROM US!

Athena: *roles her eyes* likely story!

Anticlea: *stands up pissed* you really think that I would abandon my new born son!?

Athena: well if the shoe fits!

Hermes: okay! Why not break this up before this gets out of hand?

Athena and Anticlea: SHUT UP!!

Hermes:😶

Athena: the man I saw throw him off the edge was the same white told you he was dead! Not a single of those men even went down to look for him! And you and your husband BARELY reacted to being told your son was dead so yeah, I kinda believe you tried to kill him!!

Anticlea: it was not!! And as you said, all you saw was a dark figure! They were two completely different people! And we barely reacted because we were just told our son was dead!!

Athena: and how would you know that if you didn’t send him to be killed?

Anticlea: I DIDNT TRY TO KILL MY SON BITCH!

Athena: *slaps her across the face*

Hera: ATHENA!

Hermes: *flies in between them* okay time to break it up!

Athena: he is not your son and he never fucking will be! You abandoned him!

Anticlea: even if I wanted to kill him, which I didn’t, why would I leave the necklace on him giving a VERY clear identifier that he’s a prince!?

Athena: if you were faking that he got kidnapped—

Anticlea: is she always like this!?

The gods: yes

Athena: regardless of the lies you’ve told-

Anticlea: I’m not lying!

Athena: ANYWAY; the matter still stands that you didn’t bother looking for him. If he was actually taken why the fuck didn’t you bother looking and just took the word of the first man who told you he was dead?

Anticlea: are you serious!? We DID look for him! Our guards followed his kidnapper out to the falls when they saw him throw our son off! I believed he was dead because they found no body and what infant can survive that!?

Athena: bullshit they barely looked! I’ve seen Herems look for snacks more than your guards look for Odysseus!

Anticlea: oh and if someone told you they saw your son being thrown off a waterfall you wouldn’t believe it!?

Athena: I wouldn’t have stopped looking until a body was found!

Anticlea: bullshit!

Apollo: she actually wouldn’t.

Hermes: yeah, Odysseus hid in my room for like 4 hours and didn’t tell anyone and Thea bout lost it trying to find him. *notices something* and Thea you probably need to stop while your ahead.

Athena: yeah no, I’m not done.

Hermes: sis please-

Athena: *turns back to anticlea* you might have created him but Odysseus is MY son! I don’t care what you say or what you claimed happened that night!

Hermes: Thea-!

Anticlea: I’m not claiming anything! I know what happened!

Athena: and you weren’t there! I was!! I saw him thrown off the falls, I saw not one of your men actually look for him, and I heard the conversation between you and your husband! You can’t change my mind on this!

Hermes: ATHENA!

Athena: WHAT HERMES!?

Hermes: *points to Odysseus who’s standing in the doorway, having heard the last part of the conversation*

Odysseus:……y..you said you didn’t know where I came from..

Athena:..Odysseus..

Odysseus: you said you didn’t know where I came from and that you just “found me”!!

Athena: ody—

Odysseus: YOU LIED TO ME!! *runs off in tears*

Athena: Odysseus!!

Anticlea: tt, some mom you are

Athena: *punches her in the face and runs after Odysseus*

[balrogballs]

The Clean Break

a little take on Aragorn and Elrond’s final meeting, a removed scene from Cast in Stone (no context required; it’s canon compliant) that I liked too much to toss.

Aragorn was Estel when he broke his wrist, somewhere between five and six years old. It was a perfectly ordinary break, which happened for a perfectly ordinary reason: he had been running about on a wet floor, slipped, and crashed over a threshold. Elladan and Elrohir had come running at his wails, picked him up and took him to Elrond.

He remembers how Elrond explained to him that it was a clean break, and a very small one — it would stop hurting in a few days if he kept it still. The twins, those ardent connoisseurs of broken bones, had kept up a steady stream of joking patter to distract him whilst their father slowly applied a pain-relieving poultice and began to wrap up the wound.

Estel had been sobbing and sobbing, regardless of how mild the injury truly was. He was only five years old, and was more frightened than hurt, because he had never broken a bone in his life and he did not understand what everyone was doing, did not understand why his arm was being covered in white cloth, and it did hurt quite a lot, so he wailed.

And at some point in the process, he remembers looking up and realising that his father was crying too. Elrond hadn't made a sound, but his cheeks were awash in silent, indecipherable tears. Aragorn remembers how his expression didn't change at all, blank and beautiful in the white afternoon light: wrought from stone like a weeping statue, a quiet miracle, a promise of faith.

He remembers Elladan's tense, barked-out "Ada! What is it? What is wrong? You said it’s a clean break!"

And Aragorn remembers how Elrond had sat back on his heels and smiled, the motion pulling his features back into familiar lines. He remembers sitting silently, watching the last tears fall down the marble face, as Elrond said: "hush, my boy, you will scare Estel. Nothing is wrong, it is only a clean break. He will be fine tomorrow."

"Then why are you in tears?" Elrohir had asked, equally worried.

"Oh dear, am I? Aha, I am. Truly, it is only because he is," Elrond admitted sheepishly, sniffing. He had stroked a lock of hair back from Estel's face, laughing self-consciously, and his voice shook only a little. "I hate seeing him in pain. It breaks my heart seeing him cry so ceaselessly, even for such a small cause. It is only that, Elrohir, do not worry."

At the time, the twins had laughed, teased their father for his softness as they often did, made so many jokes about it that even little Estel, who didn't really understand the fuss and at the time had just probably assumed Elrond had a broken wrist too, was laughing alongside the three of them for absolutely no reason at all. It was casual, domestic, completely ordinary and commonplace as far as his childhood went: there were funnier incidents, sadder scenes, happier conversations.

But for some reason, this one is Aragorn's first real memory. The day he broke his wrist is the scaffolding he built his life atop, the day he looked at his father and found something sacred within him.

________

"I thought for a very long time," Aragorn says, on the tallest tower in Minas Tirith, their final meeting. "About what I could give you as a parting gift."

"If it is anything extravagant," Elrond warns him, raising a finger. "You know as well as I that I will take it to mean you are offering me a bride price, and I will take deep offence."

Aragorn grins, winks: "it's actually less than worthless, financially speaking" and cackles at how Elrond actually looks somehow more offended at that option.

"And what is this less than worthless thing you are donating to the one who raised you all your life?" he raises his eyebrows, a smile playing on his lips. "What castoff hand-me-down do you deign to bestow me with?”

"I know you must be weary of rings," Aragorn gestures at Vilya, winking away on Elrond's finger. "But perhaps this one may restore your faith in them."

"I am of a race that thinks nothing: jewels, lives, wars, is eternal," he continues, hair drifting over his face. "Of an old jewelry box my mother had, many trinkets were lost to time, some earrings were without a pair. And such loss of heirlooms never grieved us. After all, they were not ours to grieve."

"The oddest thing in the box was an old, battered golden ring. When I was first given the collection, I was only twenty yet already that ring was far too small for me. I thought that it belonged to a petite woman, perhaps a sister or a mother. Yet more recently, I was thinking of it and it confused me — why would a noblewoman own a cheap, plain ring? The other stones in the box were all precious, valuable, true heirlooms. When my mother died, she told me to pass them on to my children, and I will: but with this ring, I intend to disobey her."

"It was only some weeks ago, as Arwen showed me her own rings, that I realised something," said Aragorn, fishing around in his collar. "That this trinket I carry was no woman's ring, it was made to be worn by a child. You had given me one of these too, if you recall, as per tradition — on my sixth begetting day, a flat gold ring like this with my name carved into the inside. That was when I looked closer at this one, at the inscription on the inside of its hollow."

He unfastens the clasp on the chain, slips a small ring into Elrond's palm. He watches as all the blood leaves the elf's face only to be replaced by a harsh, terrible expression.

"Nothing is eternal, Ada," repeats Aragorn. "But some things should be."

"You are — you are giving me this?" Elrond's voice is strangled, eyes wide. "It —"

"I am. It is not mine to grieve."

Elrond does not say a word, does not even look at Aragorn, instead turning away and walking towards the far side of the balcony where he stood silently, ring clutched tightly in a shaking fist. Aragorn allows him to hold on to dignity.

Dignity, and a small, burnished gold ring.

It was rather battered, some of the plating rubbed off, a groove carved into it from all the times its owner tied it to a string and used it to tease cats with. It had a small dent in the frame, warping it slightly, and if you looked closely you could make out a little tooth mark, as though someone had a habit of gnawing at it. It was less valuable heirloom, more solid proof that the ancient king Elros Tar-Minyatur of Numenor, had once been a messy, careless little boy.

A few minutes pass, in which neither of them speak.

"I had nothing of him," Elrond tells him quietly after a while. "All my life, I had nothing of him at all. It had felt wrong, you see, sailing off to Numenor and demanding his possessions from his grieving children. So for five thousand years, I had nothing of him."

"But I never told you of him," Elrond's voice is searching, harsh and confused, trying to find a justification for the gift. "I had never told you of him, and yes, you had known of him from your lessons but I had tried so hard never to speak of him to you lest you, for one second, thought that I only loved you because you were the heir of Elros. You had no reason to know how I loved him, how fiercely I missed him, how I had nothing of him at all."

Elrond sounds almost angry, wrenching the words through gritted teeth like a scolding, his back still turned to Aragorn: "who made you so kind, Estel? Who made you so selfless — that you — that you give me this without ever being told — that you thought of it — who made you, boy?"

Elrond is breathing in deep, clarifying breaths and Aragorn stands there silently. He does not answer any of the fevered questions. It was Elrond, after all, who once told him over a chalkboard: stupid questions did not deserve answers.

"I never wanted to hurt you, Ada," says Aragorn at last, when only a sliver of sun is left behind in the sky. "Not for a moment. That is why I had… I had… that is why I had hoped we could have a clean break. I just didn't want to hurt you."

"I know you didn't," Elrond says, half-smiling as he turns back, composed again yet not entirely unruffled. "But I would rather it hurt in such a way, than it not hurt at all."

"Would you?"

"Of course," Elrond tells him, unconsciously running a finger across the flat, golden surface of the ring he had slid onto his smallest finger. "After all, the most treasured things in the world are only so valued because of how debilitatingly painful it would be to lose them."

Aragorn cannot speak. He has dawdled and delayed, pushed this parting to a cliff-edge, given gifts and made jokes, all the while waiting for a clean break that would never come for those who love like the two of them. He walks forward in a daze, and Elrond takes him into his arms and Aragorn is five again — building a life atop the scaffolding of the heart Elrond offered to him.

"I do not know what divinity made you this way," his father's voice is rough as he repeats his earlier question, but it does not break. "I do not know which of the Valar wielded the knife that carved you out of kindness. But I am glad, Estel, so glad that I know you."

Aragorn stays pressed in that embrace, shaking. He fights a sudden, absurd urge to laugh and roll his eyes, to say don't ask stupid questions, to say who made me kind? oh, I don't know, perhaps the one who loved me so wholly that he beheld a five year old's silly, childish tears, and wept that I shed them at all.

Still, he does not move: he does not want to see Elrond's face, does not want to see his own, not at this moment. Time passes, strains like molasses through linen, slowly and with great reluctance. At last, the king draws away and takes in this final image, the one who raised him standing before his son with an inscrutable expression on his face.

When he was younger, Aragorn used to think it might make it easier for his father to bend with the marred world if he learned how to be as cruel as it was, instead of taking each slap in the face as a surprise. But he understands now that whilst he wasn't looking, the marred world had bent itself to Elrond's gentleness; that it is a strength, an honest one, to be kind when the world not only abides by cruelty but insists upon it.

Aragorn cannot bring himself to turn and leave, wanting to brand Elrond’s face into the back of his eyelids with knife-hot tears. It is anything but a clean break.

“I cannot bring myself to turn,” he admits, the moonlight limning the silver in his hair. “Because when I turn, you'll be gone, and it will be the end of everything. Is this the end of everything now, Ada? Are we done now, you and I?"

Elrond smiles, looking at Aragorn in the same way he had always looked at him, every day since the moment he was put in his arms: eyes bright with unconditional adoration, unashamed pride, and a constant, total faith in him. He shakes his head.

"You and I will never be done,” he says softly; resolute. It is the only oath he ever makes.

[cute-little-fly]

Random thoughts about Octavia and Stolas after sinsmas

I trully hope Octavia doesn’t get any hate after this episode, and also, Stolas deserves to be happy beyond his daughter. This two things are true at the same time. I hope that more people understand this. We don’t need more division in this fandom.

Octavia thinks her father was the one who broke the family, that, even if it was in shambles the family could have been ok if Stolas was ok with them, if Stolas accepted them. She never realized Stella behaviour was not normal, and that Stella didn’t loved him at all since the beginning.

She thinks Stella resents him because of his cheating and that the family would be ok if he hadn’t done that with Blitzø, she thinks Stolas is guilty of breaking the family appart because Stolas sacrificing his emotional life was the only thing keeping the family together.

But she never saw it, and I think Stolas did well things by not putting that emotional load on Octavia’s shoulders… but she also needs to understand the complexity situation now that she is more grown up. Now she might feel guilty because Stolas was so unhappy…

She thinks Stolas suffered because of her, that he didn’t leave before because of her and that he endured suffering because of her, but what she doesn’t understand is that all of that was for LOVE and not for obligation.

Is natural that she is so hurt, and is also congruent to what has happened in earlier episodes. Where Stolas is always caught up about the divorce or Blitzø and leaves her behind. Is normal that makes her feel abandoned. Stolas never tried to talk bad things about Stella to Octavia, so, she doesn’t think that the cheating and Stolas suffering is mostly due to her mother. Now, Stella doesn’t care about talking shit about Stolas in front of Octavia, so is logical she puts the blame on him. That made me so angry, it is so unfair… This is something common for people that live under scapegoat abuse cycles.

“The family scapegoat is singled out and blamed for problems in the family. The burden of dysfunction of the group is placed on one member, regardless of the true causes of these issues. This person can be a child, step-child, troublesome uncle, or even a family friend. Being the family scapegoat can be a painful and isolating experience throughout a person’s lifetime.” Source: https://www.choosingtherapy.com/family-scapegoat/#:~:text=A%20family%20scapegoat%20is%20a,sibling%2C%20or%20another%20family%20member.&text=To%20put%20it%20simply%2C%20the,our%20own%20actions%20and%20mistakes.

Of course, from Via’s perspective this makes sense because she doesn’t understand a huge part of the situation and Stolas did fail her a lot of times and broke her trust. But I find interesting that Stella is not a good parent either, and she never wonders what role Stella had in Stolas unhappiness, or if there is something else behind everything.

Concluding remarks…

Octavia was just like Stolas in a lot of ways this episode. She confronted Andrealphus and looked Blitzø to give Stolas his pills, even if she is mad at him and thinks he doesn’t trully love her. The same way Stolas saved Blitzø even without knowing that our lizard loved him or cared about him at all or not. (Maybe this is a little bit off topic, but I found that poetic and shows deep down that they are the same).

Stolas has the possibility of recovering Octavia’s trust. He needs to build that trust again because he didn’t properly cared for it before, and now, Stella and Andrealphus took advantage of that. She would have heard Stolas if he did better things before, now he needs to make her feel he loves her. Not that she is just a responsibility, give her more.

Also, she needs to understand that Stella is the real source cause of most of the family issues, and Blitzø and how the cheating happened was just the culmination of all of it. That Stolas just couldn’t take it anymore; and just after experiencing a little bit of what he had been missing he got completely out of himself. Of course, Stolas could have done this better, but, he was very young when he married, and he didn’t had a proper social development.

I feel that a lot of people miss this, I don’t know if it is because Stolas is a dad. Even if Stolas at least had his stars, books and plants, he was emotionally neglected and lonely his entire life and that will always damage a person. Stolas needs someone to lean his shoulder on, to talk about problems and share emotions… that is a human need and Octavia as his daughter can’t do that for him, because he is the parent. He needed someone else in his life to do that and Stella failed in that.

We can understand both of them. Is tragic, but we know they will be ok :)

Sorry for the long rambling.

[asarigg]

Inside the Character's Mind: Part 1

mentions of physical, psychological and sexual abuse towards both Koujaku and his mother

SELF DESTRUCTIVE BEHAVIOR

Let’s go back to the beginning. Or rather, what Koujaku tells us. He also talks about himself, of course, but usually when he talks about his past, most of the time he talks about his mother: because that’s what hurts him the most. He barely mentions the abuse towards him other than the tattoo and that one time his father punched him. But he always talks about all the hardships that his family put his mother through. And I’m sure you’ll agree with me that it is hard to believe that was it.

Koujaku’s father has proven to be an extremely violent piece of shit and a zero-empathetic person. I don’t doubt that Koujaku’s mother, because of her nature, was his favorite toy. What’s more, he did every cruel thing he could think of to her, his wife too, she had fresh wounds every day and she couldn’t even eat, and although it isn’t said nor implied I wouldn’t be surprised if Koujaku was a product of rape. I mean… most likely. We hardly know anything about his mother, not her appearance, not her name, not what she liked, not how the hell she ended up in that place, if there was any love involved in it or if it was something about debt, we only know that she was the perfect victim.

She was always saying sorry to her son, for everything Koujaku’s been witnessing, she feels guilty and responsible because he tries to stand up for her, and because she has brought him to a world where the one that decides for them is a criminal. She keeps a deep pain inside for everything that’s happening and she tries to hide it, especially from Koujaku, and seeing her son suffer doesn’t help. Smiling to him so he doesn’t worry, and saying sorry to try to comfort him. That’s why the last thing she repeats over and over to her son when she’s lethally wounded is “I’m sorry”, feeling sorry that it’s because of her that he has lived like this, because she wasn’t able to protect him, to give him a proper life.

Obviously all his father did was also psychological abuse towards Koujaku, even blackmailing him with hurting his mother. But I sincerely believe that his father would use physical abuse to teach the boy a lesson, nothing could stop him anyway, because Koujaku as a child complained and rebelled, he didn’t care if his father hit him, he would defend his mother regardless. This is why I sometimes give Koujaku more scars to his body, and besides defensive cuts I also give him cigarette burn marks. Lore expansion better known as adding trauma.

I think he just doesn’t talk about it that much because the abuse towards him isn’t what has hurt him the most. We ourselves often don’t give it much importance if someone tries to insult us, but maybe if it’s someone close to us, that does piss us off, some logic like that. Moreover, throughout the game Koujaku’s personality is just like that, always worrying about others and giving little importance to himself, to the point of being tremendously negative for himself.

Don’t you think those scars would make him look more masculine, intimidating, as if he’s survived dozens of dangerous, tough fights? It seems the perfect image for an environment like organized crime.

Despite all of Koujaku’s feminine traits, the perception of him both in canon and in fandom (usually) is that of a stereotypically masculine, super straight man who fucks a different woman every night, always joking with “no homo, bro” (which, mind you, I’m not saying I don’t like these jokes, I make them myself too). But in reality that couldn't be further from the truth.

With that image that we have of him, sometimes it would seem that he is someone with prejudices or that he really had a hard time accepting that he’s not straight, specially when in the scene where he confesses to Aoba he says the following:

The reasons he tries to hide his feelings is a mix between the fact that they are friends and he doesn’t want to ruin the friendship they already have, that he wants to hide his past and that he doesn’t want to be a burden on Aoba, so he keeps all those things to himself. (And he’s also been educated a certain way and has always seen things one way, never gave it much thought so when it crosses his mind, of course he’s confused)

When he first met Aoba he thought he was a girl because he had really long hair, and after all, when we’re kids we don’t have very developed features anyway, it’s a pretty androgynous state. When Aoba corrects him and tells him he’s a boy his behavior is exactly the same, nothing changes. He corrects himself and never treats him as a girl.

He is someone who has no problem showing his affection for Aoba, neither in private nor in public, he’s very comfortable with his bisexuality, the only one who is reluctant to do so, either out of shame or fear, is Aoba.

What I’m trying to get at with all this is that all that “gentleman” facade and the “always accepting women who want to have something with him” that makes him look so stereotypical in a first impression has a much darker origin, although underneath all that there’s a much more sentimental, vulnerable and open Koujaku about his true feelings, expressing them even if he feels embarrassed, as we see on some occasions (touching his hair nervously when he confesses, of when he explains why Aoba's hair is so important to him).

The relationship he has with his mother is the most direct connection, or course. Being the son of an abused woman has made him hyper-aware of his position as a man (so much that sexism in this game almost goes full circle like the Bourbon family tree, but this is NC’s problem and it happens everywhere, it’s so obvious it’s a writers problem and it’s a shame it affects Koujaku so much because he’s basically the only one who isn’t scared of a bad bitch). We’ll talk about this in particular some more later, but let’s focus on what concerns his father for now.

Being the family of criminals that they are, abusers and… almost slavers, the most logical thing to assume is that they are specially conservative. It could very well be that his father, once he decided to make him his heir, wanted the image of his kid to be as intimidating and masculine as possible. A criminal, a murderer who could run his business in a world like this.

We know that the tattoo is an experiment by Toue, and it wouldn’t be strange if his father knew what was behind it, because after all it would also be beneficial for him to have a way to control him, to mold him to his liking and to make him obedient, unlike he had been behaving, refusing to be his heir and trying to defend his mother. The image of an effeminate, soft, sissy man was not exactly ideal for the future leader. For me, Koujaku’s father either already intended to name him heir before agreeing to the tattoo being an experiment with Toue and Ryuuhou, or he ended up deciding to name him the heir precisely because they had already talked about the tattoo and its possibilities beforehand.

His father would want to break him, drive him to despair so that he would stop resisting, take away his will and, although this is mostly headcanon, “make him a man”. Be a man, be strong, tenacious, learn to fight and find a woman to continue the family with, etc. So it is not surprising that at first he didn’t even reconsider his sexuality and thought that the affection he had for Aoba was just friendship, which over time, with such strong feelings, he realized was not the case. I sincerely love that he is shown to be so nervous and that he confesses to be kinda confused about it and in a state of denial, without having any external reference and too busy hating his father and Ryuuhou to even think about it, it’s normal that it took him so long.

He was trained to be a gangster, while his father insulted him, hit him and threatened him using his mother, on whom he took it out. This training also implies not only fighting but also for doing business, how to talk to be well-received, how to negotiate, how to give the best impression of himself at any given situation. This pack of skills seem to resonate with those that he uses to flirt and run his own business, even if he does it on an unconscious level, he just knows what to say to strike the person he’s talking to in their weak spots. His father’s physical treatment would not only be a punishment, but also to teach him a lesson, to learn to endure the pain, just like he endured the pain of the tattoo. If he cried, it would be shameful, he would be punished. He had to hide his pain, his feelings, his thoughts, for the sake of his mother’s safety and his own. Practically becoming a puppet, thus evolving into the life he carries in Midorijima as an adult.

Him not wanting to open up to Aoba wouldn’t be just an “oh he’s going to hate me”. It’s also what he learned would be the best, having a charismatic appearance that everyone likes. After all wouldn’t it be logical to not want any confrontation with anyone after all that? A tough guy, with people around him who admire him, who never gets tired or cries, because nothing’s wrong. In a way it’s also a shield, a protection, a defense mechanism. To be a man.

Now, the way he behaves that almost everyone without exception associates with his mother. And this, for sure, is the intention, his desire to protect his mother and therefore take care of the women he meets. But it’s also him actively wanting to be the opposite of his father.

What kind of relationship does he have with women? The contact he has with them is mostly through all his female fans, who are crazy to say the least. We’re not going to get much into the subject of sexism but first of all it’s a huge mistake that his fans are only young women or the way they make them all act.

Koujaku spends all his time building a character that he considers perfect, someone gentle, who never says no to a woman and is always available to entertain them, it would never occur to him to deny anything to any of them, as his mother was denied so many things. Unlike that hard and tenacious masculinity that he was taught to have in order to take on his role as the heir or the bestiality of his tattoo, he presents a gentle and chivalrous masculinity on the outside. What he does is pamper them and give them everything they ask for (almost, because has never really had serious relationships. Which makes sense because he would be telling them pretty big lies, right? That wouldn’t fit with his own code). He doesn’t think very highly of himself, he has a low self-esteem as he thinks of himself as nothing better than a worthless monster that should have probably died a long time ago.

Sometimes people who are abused go through abuse again, in a cycle. I think saying that Koujaku is a playboy is incorrect. (He acts flirty and likes playing around, sure, but there’s something deeper). That perception of him is natural, of course, because the way he behaves and how he is presented to you, it is the image they want to give of him after all, in a basic and cliche way, so artificial that it is unsettling. I could believe that it sounds artificial on purpose, referring to that shell of how a confident and strong man should talk, if it weren’t for the fact that they do this kind of cliche and artificial situations quite often with other characters as well, and it makes it kinda hard to remain immersed. I honestly think that the foreshadowing could have been done a little better, but it still serves the narrative. Also this is practically almost all you see of his character the two first interactions he has with Aoba. Considering the structure of the game and how rushed everything is, it’s not very positive, but for the sake of your mental health it's better not to think too much about it.

In short, Koujaku is a very accommodating and attentive person. He listens and encourages others with their problems but doesn’t let anyone worry about him with his own, taking on everything himself. He even ironically tells Aoba that if he’s worried about what happened with Mizuki, he can blame him, and that he can always count on him to tell him anything. It’s a very lonely way to live, even though he has so many people around him.

Knowing this, it’s more than reasonable to think that more than him flirting with women, it’s simply him agreeing to give what those women ask of him. They come looking for something and he gives it to them. He’s a toy. It’s often joked that he’s practically a prostitute, and pretty much that’s what it is. And it’s in the balcony scene where we see a more personal side of him, where we can observe that in reality all this burden tires him, it’s not natural. It’s not like his character isn’t extroverted and charismatic, but that’s not everything, and in public he doesn’t allow himself to be “less”, so in private and in confidence is when he can afford to relax, with Aoba or in his own house.

Somehow, even though he is no longer with his family, the way he interacts with other people, or how he lets himself be used, be it consciously or not, even if there is a different intention behind, is not that different from before, people still use him.

ERHM... SOMETHING

I’ve sometimes wondered if there was some sort of sexual abuse on Ryuuhou’s part towards Koujaku. Nothing is implied canonically, at least physically, but the erotic connotations of the story of the tattoo artist he’s based on, the sadism, and his constant references to love make me think of it happening on a symbolic level.

I think it’s obvious that Ryuuhou loves Koujaku, in his own way, as his creation, and he’s referencing love at first sight and Koujaku’s abuse of Aoba. In a metaphorical way that abuse certainly happened, ever since he was tattooed, his body did not belong to him anymore. There are people who can’t stand the idea of having sex, and others who often seek it out to ease the pain. Ryuuhou made sure to mark his body and mind so that he could never forget him. His tattoos are his shame, his filth and sin. When Aoba touches his tattoos Koujaku practically jumps at contact.

[voraciouspangolin]

That is an absurd amount of admin+zepheniah dust to be following her around- I think she kneeled in the dust, catatonic, eyes unblinking, staring at what she thought her life would have been

I like that engie had a glass of water ready for her. I also like that he knows the administrator is gone, her entire scheme is over- I mean, it makes sense. He was there when the admin cracked that last vial of australium and took it all.

I think the whole death of the admin, I think this implies that the admin spent almost an hour straight in that cave of hers, talking to zepheniah. Going over her past, over his past, the way she inserted herself into his future.

I'm mildly upset that he doesn't have his gunslinger- but that's compliant to the way he was drawn in the comics previously, I suppose

Engie sitting down across from her and talking. He doesn't even ask what happened- he knows his employer is dust on the floor. Instead, he openly talks about his perspective of it. This gives me the vibe that pauling and engie are pretty close as work acquaintances, if not friends. Engie seems disapproving of the admin's endeavours, but not in the sense that he saw her as evil. Sure, he probably has his reservations with the admin's choices, but his moral grayness and choice to look past the evilness of it all, it really solidifies that he's a mercenary. He's even casually entertaining that pauling could fill the role of the admin, or create a new role to fulfill what pauling thought she would devote her life to, saying she could become whatever she wants, with the tone of voice of coworkers talking shop.

I like how dejected miss pauling looks. Hunched over, hair messy, outfit full of dust. Glass of water half drunk. She looks shell shocked, almost. I also like how engie is acting as a rock in this situation- he's grounding her, tying her down to reality. Talking her through whatever she's stuck on in her brain. Whether that's because he's intuitive enough to know to do this, and polite enough to want to do it to help her, or because he wants her to lucidly understand that he is washing his hands of involvement, I don't know.

The intensity of engie's suggestion says a lot, imo. "Make sure you get it all." His disdain that he's come to feel for australium is palpable here. Even after working with it for so many years, even after being privileged enough to fabricate things and tinker with australium to refine the admin's hand doohikey- it's like he's come to some conclusion that australium is a sentence imposed on whomever uses it, regardless of good intentions, that will always lead to bad things happening.

And there's that nickname again. Other names that start with Flo.... Flower? Florina? Flossy? Florris? Who knows. I'm inclined to believe that Flo isn't her full name, much like how she refers to the engineer as Engie, it would make sense for him to refer to her with a shortened version of her name.

I love how the glow of the australium shines in her eyes. Like a promise.

"You won't never be free of it." He's seen firsthand what this shit does to someone

Augh.... Her hair is so messy now. That second pannel, that's an expression we've never seen on her face before. She's utterly lost. But engie is there. He looks genuinely relieved that pauling took his advice to heart.

He's so jolly. I love him

Soldier did nobody ever teach you not to smear your grubby fingerprints all over pictures. Convenient as hell to block that figure in the picture that was never revealed... The only thing we can gather from this, though, is that the figure is perhaps extremely short.

Is it bad of me to say that this looks like Kim

he's SO done with this. I really like how the tattoos he got in prison are completely removed from his skin. I don't know if that's intentional or not, but it's an interesting concept if it's intentional

I don't know if being merasmus' familiar is what's causing this but I love that soldier can canonically see ghosts. That's awesome

lol his expression looks like his soul left his body

I love that we got so much more of soldier in this comic... He's so silly

Aw. For all his complaining, merasmus can't bear to look at his friend getting tortured so he looks away. Or maybe he understandibly just doesnt want to see someone getting tortured.

Awh hell yeah, creature.... perhaps of the Pilosa order... This swap to a different plot kinda confused me with its placement and the context it provided.... but ah well, I'll take it

Awww, when did bidwell learn to backtalk

love the delivery with this one. This typa humour is so good

Average australian attitude towards drinking. I wonder if she has an australian accent now... Idk. But I like her design

Wait I think that that's Uluru,,,, or Ayer's Rock, as Saxton calls it. There's no question now, Uluru is significant to Saxton's life... otherwise why would its frame be hung next to the other Hale? I'd have to look back through the other comic where scout and heavy go to the rock to investigate it to make any more inferences

dawwww

PAHAHA ... BEAR POLISH??? Reddy, you dog

Alright back to business. Big fan of Heavy's beard... could use more shaping though. I like that he uses Sasha has a bludgeon though. That's awesome

he just does not Stop YAPPING !!! Good for him tbh... The fact that only soldier can see merasmus... He looks insane to everyone else around him that's crazy

lol, I like how merasmus' ghost form also comes with a ghost version of the chair and binds he died with. There's actually only two chairs instead of three

ugh, girl, tidy that thing uppp

wjatever.... Big fan of people still calling merasmus an old woman. So true

this is the first time soldier's smile has faltered, and its right after heavy says he doesnt care that merasmus got tortured to death...

he's so wordly.... he knows currency rates off the top of his bald dome

girl that body of yours is absurd

Thread of my second read through The Days Have Worn Away

his stupid smile . I want to put him through a food processor

ok one of them came out wearing an eyepatch i think soldier got cheated on and zhanna had a kid with demo

he proposed with a grenade. and. and he pulled the pin and put the ring on zhanna's finger. and threw the grendade

tbh I fear for the person who becomes the centre of her devotion next

she is willing and ready to use her powers for evil

new sniper lore dropped too. He can fly bush planes

hes so real for this

i think these are the team classic characters... There's a plaque missing on the stone statue at the bottom, I wonder what was on it.

I like how everyone at… Administrator HQ is wearing purple

So earlier we got miss pauling's first name initial, f. Pauling.... so this is a confirmation that her name starts with F, and she's on first name basis with engie. Flo- like, Florence? Florida?

This might be a stretch but I think that these paintings on the wall, I think they're like, the BEST of the best mercernaries of their respective class. Pyro is looking at a hard to make out person surrounded by flames, and demo is looking at a high tech looking demoman

look at all these stupid idiots. i love them

she's SO done dude. SO DONE

also this whole thing. Love the detail that spy is checking his watch pompously . and how everyone else is lined up waiting for them to continue walkign

And this one... god, that smile she gives scout. The way scout beams

The art in this comic has improved so so much, its absolutely gorgeous. The way its layed out, the emotion it conveys without needing dialogue.... magnificent. I like how Miss P's undone hair shows itself as more messy. She's at her wits end- she's past the point of anxiety, past the point of tightening and adjusting her hair so that no strand sticks out.

I think this is the most creature like I've seen pyro and I'm so here for it. E's got eyebrows over the mask lol. Also medic's stupid ass tippy toeing to see over heavy

I love the placement of this context we're getting for how Helen became involved with the Manns. It immediately makes you think to the place where The Naked and The Dead ended, with Helen fully perked up on the final bits of australium she had. Yet its a look into the past

big fan of this painting. Three rifles... and these book titles. So silly i love it

New competitor for Most eyebrows, Zepheniah has two eyebrow spikes, beating medics mere one spike

A whole graveyard of Manns.... I like the one thats just a giant M. Really hammering in the notion that the Mann last name is an identity of immense value, that takes over your whole life. oh, and that panel before the final one, its so full of tension... so good

And here's the actual moment we get to see her in all her insanity. What a woman. I like that the screens all face him, constantly displaying the products of redmond's and blutarch's failure to follow the family line of succession. His eyelids constantly forcefully open, unable to speak, yet his brain still processes the information his body is percieving. He's like if Mr House (fonv) had a dominatrix

me too, scout. me too

big fan of how heavy's eyes are the only ones that are dots

her and miss pauling both, they share the Devotion, the ability to pour their entire beings and lives into one single thing

I bet that thing felt like jerky. who said that

Absolute cinema. Amazing. Magnificent. Wonderful. No notes