#but really proud with what I could do ♥

[carnal-lnstinct]

Fic Author Self Rec

I know me and the moots have been delivering some beautiful writing since this first went around so we're bringing it back before the end of the year! Post 5 of your favorite fics you've written and share a little about it ♥♥♥

Tagging: @yeowangies @actuallysaiyan @dreadsuitsamus @beneathstarryskies @emmacornell @missnebulaa @vegeta-bananabluish + anyone else who writes and sees this please share and talk about your favorite things you have written

My five favorites from my own fics(of this year):

— Gogeta Soulmates Valentine

Plot-wise, this was definitely in the top three of my favorite vday requests and I really enjoyed writing the soulmate concept. Gogeta is still one of those characters that doesn't come as easy to me to write but when I get it, I get it! And he's always softer than what I intend for which I love.

— Bedtime Story

**JJK SPOILERS** I honestly ain't been the same since Toji's second death and what it reveals about him. First death? Well okay you died doing what you loved sweetie time to rest. Second death? Please sedate me I have not known a singular day of peace! 😭😭 But I needed a Toji fic that wasn't him just blowing out backs. So I just wrote him being a dad and husband, happy, existing in the same space at the same time as his wife and child while she tells a bedtime story to Megumi that becomes about them AND THEY ALL LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER. Wishing everybody but the Zenin clan and Mahito a very peaceful rest of the year.

— All My Soul Within Me, Burning.

Wrote this mostly for the Halloween season and Fn-f movie, also I weirdly had just noticed at the time majority of Gero's androids have the same blue eyes and wanted to do something with that. This is probably one of maybe two fics I wrote this year without any pairings or romance. With this AU, I toyed around with the idea of an angry spirit (a la fn-f lore style) being trapped inside his own body from his violent death, only now his body is this "bio-android prototype" shell and he represents Android 16 instead of canon 16. After Bulma fixes him, the spirit starts to regain some of his memory and fights against Gero's android programming. I wanted to continue this but of course SOTS took priority and now I think it's fine as a standalone one-shot for its little twist ♥

— Royal Pains

Praise to the only threesome I wrote this year! Virgin!Vegeta plot has to be the highlight of the year though, I love how involved everyone was with this concept and the many fics that were born from it. ♥♥♥♥ Consider this one a fave more for what the prompt inspired from a few of my favorite fic writers than what I wrote, but I'm always proud anytime I get to write a flustered Vegeta. It's the only way I know how to write him.

— Back At The Garden

Obviously ss4 Goku is in my faves. He is my king 😭♥ This one is just a plot bunny that got stuck in my head until I wrote it down. One thing about my TWYSILY fics, they're probably gonna get sequels nobody asked for and this is always a safe space for SS4. ♥

[kajibunny]

.⋆｡🍓࿔˚what their kisses taste like...⊹ ࣪˖🍰˚⊹♡ w/ wind breaker boys

✿ featuring: ren kaji, haruka sakura, hajime umemiya, hayato suo, jo togame, mitsuki kiryu ✿ contains: fluffy fluff fluff, looots of kissing, descriptions of the way they taste ✿ a/n: i honestly think they would all taste really good (•ᴗ<˶)✧₊ ⊹ that's it, that's the post i guess! happy reading, cuties! ♥︎ ✿ wc: 1.5k

ʚɞ kaji - 

kaji asked you to hold his lollipop for him, entrusting you with his half-eaten candy in your hands while he went to buy a drink from the vending machine.

you pop the sweet sucker into your mouth, an unconscious habit. ever since you two got together you've always shared everything with kaji, so sharing his lollipop should be no exception, right? 

"that's mine." his eyes are now fixated on your mouth, where his lollipop stick hangs out of, and he can't help but think about how it's just been in his mouth about ten seconds ago, and he wondered if you could taste him on it too. 

"i'll buy you some more tomorrow." you told him, with no intention of giving back his lollipop at all.

"it's okay. i don't mind sharing with you." kaji takes out the lollipop from your mouth and gives you a taste of his own lips instead, pressing it against yours fervently. 

oh, so that's what he meant by sharing. 

notes of peach faintly made its way onto your lips, and transferring over to his as well. "this is mine, too." he declares, once again staking his claim on your mouth, which tasted just as sweet as the lollipop he just had, maybe even sweeter. 

kissing you left such a nice taste, fueling kaji's desire for more, so much so that it made him contemplate about the thought of replacing his lollipops with your lips instead.

ʚɞ sakura - 

sakura is still so, so blushy around you, even though you two have spent multiple nights together, his face still flushes scarlet whenever you did your nightly self-care routine, your shoulder touching his while he was brushing his teeth over the sink. he finished up and rinsed off, while you waited for him with a huge, proud smile on your face.

"good job, baby!" you peck his lips, obsessed with the way he adorably heats up every time you praise him, this time it was for not forgetting to brush before bedtime.

"wh-what are you doing!?" he jumps up after he felt your lips on his, which tasted of spearmint from the toothpaste he had just used. 

"giving you your goodnight kiss!" you replied, with a matter-of-factly tone.

the next night, sakura brushed his teeth again in your shared bathroom while you hovered over the sink, your cleanser in hand. after rinsing his mouth, he just stood there expectantly, as if waiting for you to do something. 

he stared at you with a blush sprawled across his face. "y-you're forgetting something!" he blurted out. you shot him a puzzled look. "am i?" 

sakura's eyes darted down to your lips, giving you a hint of just what he needed from you. "oh, your goodnight kiss? if you liked it so much, you should have said so!" you giggled, smooching sakura's lips like there's no tomorrow. 

ʚɞ suo - 

to say that suo is playful would be an understatement. underneath that sweet, smiling face, lies beneath a naughty guy who has an obsession with the way you taste.

"you have a little teacake at the corner of your mouth." suo, feigning concern, points to the space beside your lips.

"where?" you ask as you try to search for it with your fingertips, to no avail. your eyes brought itself back to suo's scarlet ones, now inches away from your face. 

his lips captures yours in an unexpected kiss, and suo's tongue darts out to lick off the little crumb of teacake at the corner of your mouth. "there, all gone!" he hums happily, a grin on his face, drinking his tea as if his mouth was not latched on to yours just two seconds ago.

now you know why you barely ever get to see suo eat, it's because he'll only eat if it tastes like you. 

ʚɞ umemiya -

you were supposed to wake umemiya up from his nap on the hammock five minutes ago, but how could you? 

his eyes were fluttered shut, hair down and relaxed, umemiya's chest heaving softly, looking like he was so at peace. you hoped he had been dreaming about you, which he probably was, judging from the way a content smile made its way across his lips. 

you just couldn't help yourself as you angled down and gave him a quick little kiss. you giggled to yourself as you caught the aroma of fresh herbs from kissing him, he was probably picking and sampling them and decided to take a little nap afterwards.

umemiya's eyes slowly opened to the sight of you, him immediately wrapping his arms around you and pulling you into the hammock with him. "i didn't even feel that, can you give me one more? pleeeease?" he pleaded, nuzzling his head on your shoulder. 

you complied, giving him another kiss, and he went to deepen it by pulling you even closer. "can you wake me up like this all the time?" umemiya could definitely see himself quickly becoming addicted to your kisses. 

you sighed and giggled, tightly embracing him. how could you ever say no to this man?

ʚɞ togame -

togame was definitely tall, no doubt about it. of course it has its perks and advantages too, like he can reach things for you really easily, he gave the greatest piggyback rides, he was your human furnace during cold nights, and the likes. 

but one thing his height got in the way of was kissing. particularly whenever you wanted to kiss him.

you tugged on togame's robe in a futile attempt to pull him down closer to you. a "hmm?" escaping togame's lips, as a little smile made its way across. he continued drinking his ramune while his eyes made its way to your form. 

"you're too tall, jo." you sighed. even on your tiptoes, you failed to bring his face down to your level so you could kiss him. 

"that so?" he let out a slight chuckle. togame eventually lends you a little help as he leans down until his face was directly in front of yours.

"you could've kissed me if you tried just a little harder, angel." he caresses your cheek, lightly teasing you, his lips capturing yours in a long, slow and passionate kiss. 

"i wanted to kiss you properly." a pout present on your lips. togame loved your cute little pout, it made him want to kiss you more and more. 

"don't worry, we can do it again and again until you are satisfied." 

jo togame was insatiable for you, loving the way you taste, always hungry for more. 

ʚɞ kiryu - 

you have been crushing on kiryu for quite a while now, him being 'totally your type', as you talked about him on and on to your friends, them eagerly listening to you gushing about kiryu's pretty pink hair, soft gentle eyes, beautiful piercings, cat-like smile and not to mention his silly hotdog phone case. 

your friends told you to just go for it, be bold and just ask him if he was dating someone already so that you could cease daydreaming about him occupying your thoughts all day and night, preventing you from getting a proper good night's sleep. 

"kiryu, is there a girl you like?" you nervously ask him.

"there is, actually." he replies. "would you like to see her? i can show you." 

oh. so he had someone he liked already.

the way he smiled as he gave you a direct answer made you want to bury yourself in the ground and never come out.

"y-yeah, sure! i want to see. is she pretty?" you tried to hide the discouraged tone in your voice, thinking about how kiryu's thoughts are probably filled to the brim with his crush, like what you had with him. 

"she is! super pretty! this is her." he picks up his phone and flashes the screen in front of you. half of you did not want to see the object of kiryu's desires, but you were curious and the urge to peek won over you. 

on his phone was a picture of none other than you.

it was a zoomed in photo of you, smiling and laughing while you talked with your friends, and it seemed to be taken after you had just waved "hi" to kiryu. it took a while for you to comprehend that what he meant was that the girl he liked all this time was actually you. 

"she likes you too, kiryu." your cheeks were tinged as pink as his hair, and as pink as kiryu's kissable lips. 

speaking of kiryu's kissable lips, they were making their way onto yours now, brushing against yours, as you felt the cold metal of his labret piercing touch the bottom of your lip. his lips were so soft and warm in contrast to his piercing.

"i've wanted to do that for a long time now." the corners of his mouth turning upwards in a sweet smile. little did kiryu know, you wanted his strawberry chapstick flavored kisses just as much, and maybe even longer.

© kajibunny 2024 / all rights reserved

[harrysfolklore]

plsss can you make a fake instagram where the reader is a lawyer

you know how to ball, i know aristotle - op81

i really liked how this one turned out ! we love sino oscar 🥰 make sure to leave your feedback

MASTERLIST | MY PATREON

liked by oscarpiastri, logansargeant and 18,637 others

yourinstagram greetings from the library 🧐 keeping an eye on my angel boy who started kindergarten (aka formula one) last month

tagged: oscarpiastri

view all 498 comments

username1 serving cunt in the library we love to see it ♥︎ by author

username2 fellow columbia student right here 🙋‍♀️

↳ yourinstagram omgg we should hang out soon

username3 since when are you into f1 bestie

↳ yourinstagram since i’m dating one of the drivers 🤔

oscarfan1 THIS IS OSCAR’S GF??? SHES GORGEOUS ♥︎ by author, oscarpiastri

username4 i’ve been following for ages now but i just found out that she’s dating a famous athlete 😭

oscarfan2 i was ‪hoping that oscar was single but now that i found out that he has a beautiful AND smart gf i want them to adopt me

logansargeant I’ve been taking care of him in the playground, don’t worry

↳ yourinstagram i wouldn’t expect any less from you

↳ landonorris We haven’t met yet but I’m also taking care of little Oscah ♥︎ by author

↳ landofan1 OFC HE HAD TO COMMENT

↳ yourinstagram well thank you, little lando norris

mclaren When will we see you in papaya gear at a race? 🧡 Ps. The last picture is so real

↳ yourinstagram omg when college stops kicking my ass

↳ oscarfan1 i love her already

oscarpiastri I miss you so much, but I’m so happy to see you in your dream school, smart girl🤍 ♥︎ by author

↳ oscarfan2 IM SOBBING THIS IS SO SWEET

↳ yourinstagram i love you 🥺

liked by yourinstagram, landonorris and 457,296 others

oscarpiastri The smile on my face could only mean one thing: It’s home race weekend 🇦🇺

view all 12,027 comments

oscarfan1 BABYYYYY

oscarfan2 he looks so kissable

mclaren Australia’s National Treasure 🧡

oscarfan3 MANIFESTING A PODIUM SO HARD

logansargeant Good luck on your home race bro 🙌 ♥︎ by author

↳ oscarfan1 bestiesss

username1 i’m still waiting for his girlfriend’s paddock debuttt

alex_albon The superior papaya boy ♥︎ by author

↳ landofan1 LANDO WAS FOUND CRYING

↳ oscarfan1 i love them

landonorris I’m going to categorically ignore what alex albon just said

↳ landofan1 HES SOOOO😭

landonorris Don’t to fool your audience, your smile is because your girl is finally coming ♥︎ by author, yourinstagram

↳ landofan2 OMFGGGGGGGGG

↳ oscarfan2 OSCAR AND YN PADDOCK DEBUT CONFIRMED BY LANDOOOO

↳ oscarfan3 goddd i was praying for this

↳ yourinstagram but can you blame him? ♥︎ by author

↳ username2 I LOVE THIS RELATIONSHIP SM

yourinstagram i can’t wait to see you, squish 🥺 ♥︎ by author

↳ oscarfan1 SQUISH I COULD SOBBBB

↳ oscarfan2 they’re so adorable i can’t do this

↳ oscarpiastri ❤️❤️❤️

yourinstagram added to their stories

liked by alexandrasaintmleux, oscarpiastri and 47,836 others

yourinstagram took a break from law school to finally go to my first race 🕺 SO PROUD OF YOU @oscarpiastri

view all 611 comments

username1 AWEEE your wag era finally

oscarfan1 QUEEN OF THE PADDOCK ♥︎ by author

carmenmmundt It was so lovely to meet you ✨ ♥︎ by author

↳ yourinstagram likewise beautiful carm 💓

↳ username2 i just want to be one of them

oscarfan2 thank you yn for giving us a weekend of blushy and smiley oscar and the best boyfriend content ever

oscarfan3 COME TO EVERY RACE PLEASEEE

↳ yourinstagram i would love to but i have to get my degree 🥲

mclaren You’re officially a papaya girl now 🧡

username2 they make the best couple ever bc she’s all brains and he’s all muscle ♥︎ by author

landonorris Go get that degree now, I need someone who can get me out of jail for free

↳ landofan1 WHY IS HE LIKE THIS 😭😭

↳ yourinstagram 🫡🫡🫡

username3 she’s stronger than me because is oscar piastri was my bf and i had the chance to travel around the world with him and look pretty u would drop out of college already

↳ yourinstagram just a few months till graduation i can do it okay

↳ oscarfan2 I LOVE HER

oscarpiastri Having you here made this weekend the best ever. I love you ❤️ ♥︎ by author

↳ oscarfan1 BOYFRIEND OSCAR I CANT

↳ username1 why can’t my boyfriend simp for me like this

↳ yourinstagram i loveeee youuuu

liked by charles_leclerc, yourinstagram and 654,386 others

oscarpiastri The perfect home race weekend 🇦🇺 I miss you already @yourinstagram 🤍

view all 15,099 comments

oscarfan1 AWEEEEE

oscarfan2 MY HEART

georgerussell63 I need more of those grandma Piastri cookies ♥︎ by author

↳ danielricciardo Same

↳ username1 LET ME INNNN 😭

mclaren We love Australia 🦘🌏

oscarfan3 yn and oscar shouldn't be separated that's like a crime ♥︎ by yourinstagram

oscarfan4 THE THRID PIC MY HEARTTTT

landonorris Your girlfriend is cooler than you btw ♥︎ by yourinstagram

↳ landofan1 and teammate of the year award goes to lando norris

↳ logansargeant I agree

↳ username2 imagine the entire grid loving you

↳ oscarpiastri You're supposed to be my friend

↳ landonorris And she’s going to be my personal lawyer soon so

↳ yourinstagram 😭😭😭

yourinstagram i love you so much, angel. thank you for this weekend 🥺 ♥︎ by author

↳ username2 their relationship is the purest thing ever

liked by yourinstagram, georgerussell63 and 764,389 others

oscarpiastri Little mid season recharge. Visiting my favorite future lawyer 🤎

tagged: yourinstagram

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oscarfan1 AWEEEEEE

oscarfan2 we love softie oscarrrr

username1 oh to be a columbia student

landonorris My kids ❤️❤️

↳ landofan1 lando is the biggest shooter for this relationship

↳ yourinstagram you’re just two years older than me..

↳ landonorris And? You’re my kids

↳ oscarfan2 I LOVE THEMMMM

username2 yn’s curls are so prettyyyy omg ♥︎ by author

nicolepiastri Our smart girl ! 👩‍⚖️ ♥︎ by author, yourinstagram

↳ oscarfan1 aweee mama piastri

↳ yourinstagram love you 🥺

username3 imagine chilling in the library procrastinating some homework and you turn around and oscar piastri is there

yourinstagram i love you so much squish 🫶 ♥︎ by author

↳ oscarfan1 why are her pet names for him so damn adorable

liked by oscarpiastri, alexandrasaintmleux and 49,635 others

yourinstagram i can’t believe it’s my last week here and i’m going to be a real lawyer soon 😳

view all 633 comments

username1 GRADUATION IS SOOOON OMG

username2 i’ve been following you since you graduated high school and posted tips about college applications and now you’re about to finish college omg ♥︎ by author

oscarfan1 OMG OSCAR MUST GO TO HER GRADUATION

lilymhe congratulations smart girl 🤍🤍 ♥︎ by author

↳ yourinstagram thank you lovely 🫶

oscarfan2 THE LAST PICTURE IM YELLING

username3 she has the coolest life ever

mclaren Everyone in the papaya department is super proud 🧡

↳ yourinstagram ilysm mclaren admin

logansargeant How come you’re still dating my friend, who barely finished high school 😂 congrats!

↳ yourinstagram he’s cuuuuute 🥺

↳ oscarfan1 oscar’s friends are always dragging him help

↳ landonorris And can’t win a GP

↳ oscarpiastri You surely got confident after Miami, Lando Onewin ♥︎ by author, georgerussell63, alex_albon

↳ landofan1 STOOOOOP😭

oscarpiastri I’m always proud and in awe of you, but specially now 🤍 ♥︎ by author

↳ oscarfan1 I LOVE SIMP OSCAR

liked by oscarfan1, oscarfan2 and 2,936 others

f1updates “My girlfriend graduating from Columbia Law School next week so as soon as the job is done here I’m heading to New York. I’m really proud of here and I wouldn’t miss this moment for anything else.” - Oscar Piastri for SKY Sports

view all 288 comments

oscarfan1 OMFG IM CRYING

oscarfan2 smile heart eyes and blush make an appearance again

oscarfan3 he’s super proud you can tell by his eyes

oscarfan4 flexing his lawyer girlfriend as he should

oscarfan5 SO HIGH SCHOOL IS ABOUT THEM

oscarfan6 my definition of a simp

yourinstagram has added to their story

liked by yourinstagram, landonorris and 865,388 others

oscarpiastri My girlfriend is a lawyer 💙

view all 27,034 comments

oscarfan1 I LOVE THISSSSS

oscarfan2 WHAT IF I CRY

username1 that cake is too iconic i need it

georgerussell63 Congrats YN! ♥︎ yourinstagram

oscarfan3 the cake is that tiktok audio 😭😭

nicolepiastri We’re all so proud of you @yourinstagram 👩‍🎓🤍 ♥︎ by author, yourinstagram

↳ oscarfan1 mama piastri loves her they’re getting married

↳ yourinstagram love you! thank you for the unconditional support 🥺

charles_leclerc Well done 👏👏 ♥︎ by yourinstagram

lilymhe 💓💓💓 ♥︎ by yourinstagram

username2 imagine having a columbia degree AND a hot boyfriend i can’t relate

mclaren Our favorite lawyer 🧡 ♥︎ by author, yourinstagram

↳ oscarfan2 the mclaren intern just loves yn

oscarfan4 good time to remind everyone that oscar barely finished high school but he somehow bagged a lawyer girlfriend

landonorris Yooo congrats @yourinstagram I can speed while driving and pass red lights now that I have someone who can get me out or jail for free

↳ landofan1 LANDO PLEASE 😭

↳ yourinstagram please do not do that i beg you

landonorris You’re welcome for the cake idea btw

↳ oscarfan1 I KNEW oscar could never come up with that

↳ yourinstagram so it was you ! huh

↳ oscarpiastru Shhhh

yourinstagram i love you so much ❤️❤️ ♥︎ by author

liked by oscarpiastri, logansargeant and 69,736 others

yourinstagram you know how to ball, i know aristotle 🤍 proof that we’re both awkward for pictures

view all 904 comments

username1 CUTIES

oscarfan1 I LOVE THEM SO MUCH 😭

oscarfan2 they really said 🧍‍♂️🧍‍♀️ ♥︎ by author

mclaren 🧡🧡 ♥︎ by author

oscarfan3 they match each other’s freak

alexandrasaintmleux ❤️ ♥︎ by author

username2 you look so cute together

nicolepiastri My babies 🥺 ♥︎ by author, oscarpiastri

landonorris Hug your girlfriend wtf @oscarpiastri

↳ landofan1 😭😭😭

↳ oscarpiastri Don’t tell me what to do thank you very much

oscarfan4 that lyric is literally THEM

username3 pretty, smart and a swiftie we love to see it

oscarpiastri I’m the trophy boyfriend 🤍 ♥︎ by author

↳ username1 ugh i need a man like him

↳ oscarfan1 exactly oscar know your place

[romugh]

TEACHER'S PET? NO, STUDENT'S PET!- NR

ROMUGH’S KINKTOBER

october 9th — classroom sex

DAY SIX || kinktober masterlist || 2024.

pairing- prof!natasha romanoff x gp!student!reader

cw- 18+!!; top!reader, bottom!natasha, legal age gap (23, 29 - not specified), oral (n & r rcv), handie (r rcv), blowie (r rcv), slight exhibitionism (?), praise kink, unprotected sex, soft & rough emotional sex, classroom sex, breeding!!, creampie (i'm a slut)

wc- 9.424k :) enjoy!

a/n- wrote this within the universe of suddenly, the star i studied was you, but it isn't the official second part i have in mind! could be read as a standalone, but i'm incredibly proud of that fic, so go give it some love :D i don't really know if this keeps up with the personalities i had written in that fic though, apologies :')

synopsis- it's been a few weeks since your 'confrontation'. what has changed? what will change?

taglist?- @lost-mortemanghel ♥︎, @idkwhatever580, @elliecoochieeater, @left-and-right-up-and-down, @deadlesbianwitches - comment or dm to be added :)

The classroom felt quieter than usual, the soft hum of the projector echoing in the background as Natasha’s voice droned on about particle physics. But even the intricate equations and complex theories weren’t enough to distract you from the tension that had settled between the two of you. It had been weeks since that night—the night when your worlds collided in a haze of heat and emotion, and despite your best efforts, neither of you had been able to forget it.

Natasha’s demeanour had been mostly collected—calm, composed, the epitome of professionalism. But there were cracks in her carefully constructed facade. You noticed it in the way her hand occasionally trembled when she picked up the chalk, the slight hesitation in her voice when her eyes accidentally found yours in the sea of students. It was subtle, but you could feel it, the way her walls were crumbling bit by bit.

Your own mind wasn’t much better. Each time you saw her standing at the front of the room, dressed in that form-fitting blazer or the sleek black dress she wore today, her glasses perched delicately on her nose, it took every ounce of self-control to stay composed. Every word she uttered, every gesture she made, sent your mind racing back to that night—the feel of her body pressed against yours, the way she had whispered your name as if it were the only word that mattered.

But now, all you could do was sit there, waiting, watching her, trying to keep the memories at bay as she continued her lecture.

As the hours drew to a close, Natasha cleared her throat, her eyes darting around the room as if to avoid yours altogether. "That's all for today," she said, her voice clipped, too formal. "We'll continue this discussion next class. Don’t forget your assignments."

The students began to pack up their things, the usual chatter filling the air, but you stayed seated, watching her carefully. Your heart beat a little faster when you saw her glance at you out of the corner of her eye, her posture stiffening ever so slightly. She was trying to ignore it, pretending everything was fine, but the tension between you was undeniable.

As the last student left the room, silence descended, and Natasha stood at the front of the room, her back to you as she gathered her things. It was now or never. You took a deep breath and stood, making your way toward her desk.

“Professor Romanoff,” you began, your voice steady yet low, the sound echoing in the empty classroom. The name felt bitter on your tongue, a reminder of the professionalism that hung heavily between you. You longed to call her something softer, something that reflected the intimacy you had shared—and wanted to share—rather than the formality that now seemed to stretch endlessly in the air around you.

Natasha froze for a moment before turning to face you. Her green eyes met yours, that mask of professionalism slipping for just a second. You could see it—the flicker of uncertainty, the tension that had been simmering beneath the surface for weeks.

"Yes?" she replied, her tone betraying the calm she tried so hard to project. Her fingers fidgeted with a stack of papers, her usual confidence wavering.

"I was hoping we could talk," you said, taking a step closer. "About… the last few weeks."

Her gaze hardened for a moment, the formality snapping back into place. "I don’t think that’s appropriate. We should keep things professional between us."

Her words were sharp, meant to create distance, but there was a tremor in her voice that betrayed her. You weren’t deterred.

“I agree,” you said, voice smooth. “But that has still been impossible, hasn’t it? Has anything changed since that night?  What are your true feelings for me, Nata– Professor? Not the ones you’re pretending to have.””

She blinked at you, her breath catching in her throat, though she tried to remain unfazed. But you saw it—the way her chest rose and fell just a little quicker, the way her gaze flickered to your lips for just a split second before she could stop herself.

The silence between you grew heavier, the air thick with the weight of unsaid words, of unacknowledged yet shared emotions. And then, without another word, you took another step forward, close enough now that the heat of her body radiated into yours.

"Natasha," you said, completely dropping the formal title, your voice a little softer, but still firm. "I’m not asking for much. Just… an honest conversation.”

She swallowed hard, her lips parting as if to speak, but no words came. You could see the internal battle waging inside her—the part of her that clung desperately to control, to keep everything professional, and the part of her that couldn’t deny the connection between you, the one that had begun to blossom hours before she saw you in class that day. The tension was palpable, her defences cracking, and in that moment, you knew she was struggling just as much as you were.

Her eyes flickered with hesitation, like she was testing the weight of the silence between you, trying to find a way to speak without losing herself. Finally, after what felt like an eternity, she sighed, her shoulders slumping just the tiniest bit as she let the tension leave her body.

“Fine,” she whispered, her gaze still locked on yours. “Talk.”

You waited for your words to come, expecting the flood of emotions that had been simmering beneath the surface. But instead, you stood frozen in the quiet, your lips parting and closing again, as if the truth you wanted to say was too heavy to let out. The silence pressed between you, thick and unyielding.

Her hands moved instinctively, adjusting the papers in her grasp, shuffling them just to give herself something to hold on to. You noticed how she avoided your eyes, her usual confidence in the classroom slipping, replaced by an uncertainty that hung in the air.

Without thinking, you stepped forward again, regaining control over your swirling thoughts. The tension between you felt alive, buzzing in the air that now seemed far too small for both of you. The need to reach out, to touch her, was almost unbearable, but you held back, grounding yourself in the moment. Your eyes never left the constellations of freckles on her skin, the silent pull between you growing stronger, as if even the smallest movement could shatter the fragile restraint she was trying so hard to keep.

"What’s wrong, Nat?” Your voice cut through the silence, low and wavering. “You’ve been avoiding me for weeks."

Her breath hitched at the sound of her name on your lips. It was a simple thing, just the use of her usual nickname, but it shattered the fragile boundary she had been trying so hard to maintain.

“I haven’t been avoiding you,” she said, but her words felt weak. You could tell she didn’t believe them herself.

“Really?” you challenged, a faint smirk tugging at your lips as you reached out to brush a piece of chalk dust from her shoulder. The touch was innocent enough, but the way her breath caught in her throat told you all you needed to know. She was unravelling, bit by bit.

“Maybe I should leave,” she murmured, her voice shaky, as she tried to step back. But there was no conviction behind the words. Her eyes were still locked on yours, her pupils wide and dark.

“You could,” you said softly, not moving an inch. “But we both know you won’t.”

Natasha blinked, déjà vu coursing through her veins, her chest rising and falling more rapidly now. Her tongue darted out to wet her lips, and you couldn’t help but follow the motion, drawn in by the subtle, unconscious act. She was trying so hard to keep herself together, but you could see it—the way her bravado was cracking, the controlled exterior fraying at the edges. The tension between you wasn’t just palpable; it was suffocating. You could almost hear the moment it all started to slip from her grasp, the walls she built slowly crumbling under the weight of what you both refused to say.

You took one more step, now standing right in front of her, close enough that you could feel the heat of her body. Slowly, you raised your hand, letting your fingers brush her chin, tilting her head up slightly. Natasha’s breath stuttered at the contact, her eyes fluttering shut for just a moment as she leaned into the touch.

“We shouldn’t…” she started, her voice barely a whisper, but the protest sounded weak, almost as if she was trying to convince herself rather than you.

“Tell me to stop,” you murmured, your thumb brushing across her bottom lip, testing the limits of her restraint. “If that’s really what you want.”

She didn’t answer, her lips parting as if to respond, but before you could register what was happening, Natasha took a step back.

Your heart dropped into your stomach. The abrupt movement left you standing there, frozen, watching as she distanced herself from you, her gaze flickering towards the door. For a split second, dread hit you like a shockwave, the weight of misunderstanding settling like a boulder in your chest. Had you pushed too far? Misread everything?

Panic surged through you, wild and untethered. The idea of losing her—Natasha—before you even had the chance to really feel her, to care for her, to love her sent a crushing ache through your chest. You felt the bottom drop out from beneath you, the gravity between you threatening to tear the moment apart. Already, your heart was breaking at the thought.

“I—” you began, voice unsteady, but she was already moving. Her back was to you, and the sound of the door clicking shut was loud in the suddenly suffocating room. Then, a heavier sound followed—the door locking.

When she turned back around, the hesitation was gone. Natasha crossed the space between you with slow, deliberate steps, her eyes fixed on yours. The intensity in her gaze made your breath catch again, but this time for a different reason entirely.

Without a word, Natasha’s hands came up to cradle your face, her fingers curling gently but firmly along your jaw. Her touch was warm, steady, grounding you, and it sent a ripple of relief through you so strong it almost left you breathless.

“Now you know how I felt when you did the exact same thing,” she whispered, her voice soft, but the amusement in it unmistakable.

The smile that tugged at your lips was involuntary, but it was there nonetheless, breaking through the storm of emotion you had been drowning in. Natasha’s lips quirked up too, her thumb brushing over your cheekbone as she leaned in. The atmosphere shifted again—less tense, but still thick with unspoken want.

She tilted her head and pulled you into her. The kiss was slow at first, almost tentative, as if she was savouring every second of it. Her lips fit against yours like two celestial bodies coming into alignment, each touch sending sparks through you, igniting something deep in your chest. You could feel her, soft but determined, as if she had been waiting for this moment just as much as you had.

The air around you felt electric, the pull between you undeniable. It was like gravity—impossible to fight, binding you both in a force neither of you could resist. Natasha's lips parted slightly as the kiss deepened, her fingers tightening around your jaw as her body pressed against yours, the space between you collapsing entirely.

It felt like the universe itself had shifted, and for a moment, everything else faded away. The room, the locked door, the rules, all dissolved into nothing. It was just you and Natasha, caught in this perfect, inevitable collision. The weight of reality slipped from your shoulders, leaving behind only the two of you—two strangers in a bar who had been destined to meet, destined to cross paths in ways you couldn’t have predicted. 

Destined to be.

Her mouth was warm, her breath soft and shaky as it mingled with yours, and you couldn’t help but revel in the taste of her. She tasted like infinity, like the moment right before the stars explode into life.

When she finally pulled back, her lips were swollen, her green eyes wide and filled with something raw and vulnerable. She looked at you like you were the only thing in the room, like every molecule of her being was drawn to you, unable to resist.

"You could’ve told me," you murmured, still slightly breathless, a smile curling at the corners of your lips.

Natasha’s hand remained cradling your face, her thumb stroking lightly over your skin. "And miss seeing the look on your face?" she replied, a quiet laugh escaping her lips. But her eyes, despite the teasing tone, were filled with a soft intensity that made your heart swell.

Her other hand came to rest on your chest, right over your heart. "You don’t know how long I’ve wanted this," she admitted, her voice barely above a whisper, the vulnerability in it palpable. "How long I’ve thought about it."

Your breath caught in your throat at her words, and before you could respond, Natasha’s lips were on yours again, more insistent this time. The kiss was rougher, more desperate, her need bleeding into the way her body moved against yours. You could feel her pulse quickening, matching the wild rhythm of your own heart.

Her hands slid down to grip your hips, pulling you closer until there was nothing left between you but blossoming love. The universe outside may have been vast and cold, but here, in this moment, all the stars burned just for the two of you.

The heat between you was palpable, an unspoken gravity pulling you toward each other, and you let it take you. There was no need to resist. Not now. Not when she felt so close, so real, as if every point in space had led to this singular, inevitable moment.

Her lips trailed down the curve of your jaw, sending shivers through you, as her hands slipped under your shirt, the cool air hitting your skin for just a moment before her warmth replaced it.

With a slow, deliberate motion, your hand traced down her side, coming to rest on the hem of her black dress. You didn’t rush, savouring the sensation of her skin beneath your fingertips, the way her breath hitched when you tugged her dress up, revealing the soft red lace of her underwear.

Your fingers grazed her thighs, and Natasha shivered at the touch, her breath coming quicker. Her hands were on your neck now, but her grip tightened as your fingers found the edge of her panties, tugging them gently to the side. The sight of her, so open and vulnerable in front of you, sent a surge of warmth through your chest.

You glanced up at her, silently asking for permission, and she gave a small nod, biting her lip as she leaned back slightly on her hands, her legs parting just a little more.

Lowering yourself to your knees, you settled between her legs, your hands resting on her thighs as you pressed a soft kiss just above her knee. You could feel Natasha’s breath falter as you kissed your way up her leg, your lips leaving a trail of warmth against her skin. The closer you got to her core, the more her body responded—her chest rising and falling, her lips slightly parted, and her hands gripping the edge of the desk as if she needed something to anchor her.

When your lips finally reached her centre, you didn’t rush. You kissed her softly at first, savouring the taste of her, keeping her panties pushed to the side. Natasha let out a quiet gasp, her body tensing for a moment before relaxing under your touch. The warmth of her against your lips was intoxicating, and you felt the gentle tremble of her thighs as you began to explore her with slow, deliberate movements.

You took your time, tracing your tongue along the delicate folds of her, each flick and swirl eliciting a soft whimper from her lips. Her fingers tangled in your hair, urging you closer as if she wanted to pull you into her very being. You could feel her heartbeat quickening, the way her breath hitched as you lavished attention on her most sensitive spots.

You could feel how much she wanted this, how much she needed it. Her breathing became shallow, her body arching slightly toward you as you continued your slow, rhythmic motions. Every time your tongue flicked against her, her hips lifted just a little, as if chasing the feeling, as if trying to get closer to the pleasure she had denied herself for so long.

The classroom was filled with the sound of her quiet gasps and the soft, wet sounds of your mouth moving against her. Your hands gripped her thighs, holding her steady as she lost herself to the sensation, her body trembling with each flick of your tongue.

Natasha's head tipped back, her mouth falling open as the pleasure built inside her. You could feel her body tightening, her thighs trembling against your cheeks as she got closer to the edge. There was something so raw, so incredibly real about seeing her like this again—vulnerable, open, completely consumed by the moment.

You quickened your pace, your tongue swirling in a way that made Natasha’s hips jerk upward, a louder moan slipping from her lips. She was close now, her breaths coming in short, desperate bursts. Her hands found the back of your head, her fingers threading through your hair, holding you in place as she rode the waves of pleasure.

Her body tensed, and for a brief moment, everything seemed to stop—the air between you still, her breath caught in her throat. And then, with a shuddering gasp, Natasha fell apart above you, her body convulsing as the orgasm washed over her in waves. Her legs tightened around your head, her hips bucking as she rode out the pleasure, her hands gripping your hair so tightly it almost hurt.

You didn’t stop, not until you had wrung every last bit of pleasure from her, not until Natasha collapsed back onto the desk, her chest heaving, her body trembling from the aftershocks. You slowly pulled away, pressing a final soft kiss to her inner thigh before standing, wiping your mouth as you looked at her.

She was a vision—her hair dishevelled, her skin flushed, and her eyes glassy with the aftermath of her release. And yet, even in her most vulnerable moment, she looked at you with such intensity, such unspoken emotion, that it took your breath away.

Still catching her breath, Natasha reached for you, pulling herself up toward you. You could see the hunger in her eyes, the unspoken need for more. And without a word, she slid off the desk and onto her knees in front of you, her hands making quick work of your belt as her eyes never left yours.

Natasha’s hands moved with a newfound urgency, trembling slightly as she worked the buckle of your belt. Her breath was still ragged, her cheeks flushed from the intensity of her orgasm, but there was no hesitation in her movements—just raw need. As soon as she freed you, her eyes flickered up to meet yours, a fire igniting behind them that sent a shiver down your spine.

Her lips parted, soft and full, as she leaned forward, brushing them against the tip of your length in a delicate, almost reverent kiss. The gentleness of it was a sharp contrast to the storm of emotions swirling between you. You could feel the warmth of her breath ghosting over your skin, and it made every inch of your body hum with anticipation.

Without breaking eye contact, Natasha opened her mouth wider, her tongue flicking out to taste you, the sensation sending a jolt of electricity straight through you. She started slow, her lips wrapping around you with a softness that had your knees nearly buckling. Her tongue worked gently, teasing the sensitive skin as she took you deeper into her mouth, inch by inch. The wet heat of her mouth surrounded you, and the quiet sound of her sucking softly filled the air.

You let out a quiet groan, your hands instinctively finding purchase in her hair, gripping gently as Natasha began to move her head, establishing a rhythm that was both slow and deliberate. Each bob of her head sent a surge of pleasure through you, and you could feel the tightness in your chest building, the way your body responded to the way she worked her mouth over you.

Natasha’s hands gripped your thighs, holding you steady as she continued, her lips gliding over you with memorised precision. She hollowed her cheeks, the suction pulling you deeper, and every time she pulled back, her tongue swirled around the head in a way that made you gasp, the pressure mounting in your core.

But she wasn’t content with keeping it soft for long.

Her hands slid to the base of your shaft, gripping you with just the right amount of pressure as she took you deeper. The first time she tried to swallow you whole, she gagged slightly, her throat constricting around you. The lewd, wet sound that followed made your head spin. But instead of pulling away, Natasha pushed herself further, determined to take all of you.

You could feel her struggling for control, her throat spasming around you as she worked to accommodate your size. The sensation was overwhelming—her warm, tight throat constricting as she swallowed around you, her lips stretched tight around your length. The sounds she made were filthy, the wet slurp of her mouth working over you mingling with her occasional gagging, and each one sent a jolt of pleasure straight through your body.

The more she struggled, the harder you felt yourself throbbing in her mouth. Natasha was relentless now, her pace quickening as she took you deeper with every pass. You could feel the tip of your cock brushing the back of her throat, the wet gagging sounds becoming more frequent as she pushed herself further, determined to take all of you, no matter the effort it took.

You groaned deeply, your grip on her hair tightening as your hips started to move on their own, thrusting into her mouth in time with her motions. Natasha didn’t pull back. If anything, she welcomed it, her hands gripping your thighs harder as she let you guide her, her eyes fluttering closed as she focused on the pleasure she was giving you.

It wasn’t long before you felt the telltale signs of your climax building—the tight coil in your core, the way your muscles tensed with each thrust into her eager mouth. Natasha must have felt it too, because she moaned around you, the vibration sending you spiralling closer to the edge.

"Natasha—" you gasped, trying to warn her, but she didn’t stop. If anything, she only became more determined, her pace quickening, her mouth working harder as she sucked you off with reckless abandon. Her throat constricted around you again, the lewd, obscene sounds she made echoing in your ears as your climax loomed just seconds away.

You felt the first wave hit you hard, your body tensing as your release surged through you. Natasha moaned as you came, her mouth still wrapped tightly around you as she swallowed greedily, not missing a single drop. The sensation of her throat working to swallow everything only heightened the intensity of your orgasm, and your hips bucked against her mouth as you rode out the waves of pleasure.

She didn’t pull away until you were spent, her lips and tongue still gently teasing you as she coaxed every last bit from you, ensuring there wasn’t a trace left. When she finally pulled back, her lips glistened with saliva, and her cheeks were flushed. She looked up at you with a satisfied gleam in her eyes, licking her lips as if savouring the taste of you.

For a moment, all you could do was stand there, chest heaving, completely undone by the sight of her on her knees, her breath heavy and uneven as she gazed up at you, her lips still swollen from the effort. The look she gave you was nothing short of triumphant, like she had conquered something within herself, and the sight made your heart race all over again.

Natasha rose from her knees, her body still trembling with the aftermath of the intensity between you. Her lips parted as she stood before you, her breath coming in soft, uneven gasps. You could see the raw emotion in her eyes—desire, need, something deeper that neither of you could yet name. Her hands reached for you, delicate fingers brushing against your jaw as she leaned in, pressing her forehead gently against yours.

For a moment, everything was quiet. The world outside faded to a dull hum, and all that remained was the warmth of Natasha’s body so close to yours, the lingering taste of her still on your lips. Her breath mingled with yours as she hovered just a breath away, her eyes searching your face like she was trying to memorise every detail. Then, with a soft sigh, she closed the distance, her lips brushing against yours in a kiss so gentle it almost brought tears to your eyes.

It was soft at first—tender, vulnerable, as if she was offering a part of herself that she had kept secluded for too long. You could feel the warmth of her lips, the way they trembled slightly against yours, like she was scared to give in completely but couldn’t hold back anymore. Her hands cupped your face, her fingers threading into your hair as she deepened the kiss, her need growing more insistent.

The softness of her lips pressed against yours sent waves of heat through you, but it wasn’t just desire—it was something more profound. You could feel the emotion behind every touch, the vulnerability in the way her lips moved against yours, as if she was pouring every unsaid word, every hidden feeling, into that kiss. It was a surrender, a trust that left your heart racing and your hands instinctively wrapping around her waist, pulling her closer until there was no space between you.

Natasha melted into you, her body pressing into yours as the kiss deepened. Her breath hitched as your hands slid up her back, your fingers tracing the curve of her spine, drawing her even closer. Her lips parted, and she let out a soft, needy moan that sent a shiver down your spine. The tenderness between you was starting to unravel, replaced by something more desperate, more consuming.

The kiss grew rougher, more urgent, and Natasha seemed to lose herself in it. Her hands gripped your shoulders for balance as her body pressed hard against yours. You could feel the way her chest heaved against you, her pulse quickening as her need overtook her. The softness of the moment shattered into something raw, and Natasha almost fell into you, pushing you backward until the chair behind you caught you off guard.

You fell back into the chair, the force of her body against yours making your breath catch. Natasha hovered above you for a heartbeat, her eyes dark with lust, her lips swollen and wet from both the kiss and your release. Her hands moved quickly, efficiently, as she straddled your lap, one leg on either side of you, her thighs pressing against your hips. She was wild now, driven by pure need, and you could feel it in every hurried movement, every rough kiss she pressed to your mouth.

With a low, needy moan, Natasha reached down, her fingers hooking into the waistband of her panties. She didn’t waste any time—didn’t hesitate—before taking them off quickly, exposing herself to you. The sight of her, ready, desperate, and completely bare, had your heart pounding in your chest. The slick heat of her pressed against you, the warmth of her thighs enveloping your hips as she positioned herself above you, sent a jolt of electricity straight through your core.

You could feel her trembling against you, her body so close, so needy, as she slowly moved over your shaft. Her wetness coated you as she aligned herself, the tip of your length brushing against her entrance, and you both let out a sharp gasp at the contact. Natasha’s hands clutched at your shoulders, nails digging into your skin as she bit her lip, her eyes fluttering shut for just a moment as she adjusted to the sensation.

The heat between your bodies was overwhelming, the tension thick in the air as Natasha lowered herself onto you. Inch by inch, she took you, the tight heat of her enveloping you as she slid down, her thighs pressing tighter against your hips. The sensation of her, so warm and wet and ready for you, had your breath stuttering in your throat. You could feel every tremor of her body, every shaky exhale she let out as she took all of you.

Natasha paused when you were fully seated inside her, her breath coming in short, uneven gasps as she adjusted to the fullness of you. Her hands moved from your shoulders to your face, cupping your cheeks as she leaned in, pressing her forehead against yours again. Her eyes were half-lidded, dark with desire, but there was still that hint of vulnerability, that moment of quiet between the storm as she let herself feel everything.

The connection between you was palpable, electric, as Natasha began to move. Slowly at first, her hips rolled in gentle, deliberate motions, the friction sending sparks of pleasure through both of you. You could feel the heat of her skin against yours, the slick slide of her body as she rode you, each movement pushing you closer to the edge. Her breath was ragged, her moans quiet but full of need as she moved against you, her thighs tightening around your hips with every motion.

Your hands found her waist, guiding her as she moved, feeling the way her body responded to you with every thrust. The heat between you grew unbearable, the way she moved—slow at first, savouring every inch of you—driving you both mad with need. Each roll of her hips sent you deeper inside her, and you could feel the tight clench of her body around you, pulling you deeper with each movement.

But it wasn’t enough for her. Natasha’s need overtook her, and her pace quickened, her hips slamming down harder, rougher, as she lost herself in the pleasure. Her moans grew louder, her breath hitching every time you filled her. The lewd, wet sounds of her body moving against yours filled the air, mingling with the sharp gasps and moans that escaped her lips.

She was wild now, her movements frantic as she chased her release, her fingers gripping your shoulders so tightly you were sure they’d leave marks. But you didn’t care. All you could focus on was the overwhelming sensation of her, the way she moved against you, the heat and tightness of her surrounding you as she rode you harder, faster.

You could feel the tension building again, the coil of pleasure tightening in your core as Natasha moved against you, her moans growing louder, more desperate with every second. You could feel her body trembling, the way her thighs quivered as she rode you, her need for release overtaking everything else.

Natasha’s pace quickened, the rhythm of her hips growing more urgent, her body seeking yours with a desperate need that matched your own. The way she moved, the way her body clenched around you—it was raw, electric, and yet there was still an underlying softness to her, a vulnerability that made the moment even more intense.

Her moans filled the air, breathless and ragged, each one sending waves of heat straight to your core. You could feel her hands gripping your shoulders tighter, her nails digging into your skin as she rode you harder, faster, her need consuming her. Her thighs pressed tight against your sides, her body moving with an almost instinctual hunger, and yet each roll of her hips was accompanied by a shuddering breath, a whisper of something deeper than just lust.

Your hands slid down to her hips, gripping her tightly as you guided her movements, feeling the slick heat of her skin under your palms. The connection between you was electric, the friction sending sparks of pleasure through every nerve in your body. Each thrust brought her closer, her body trembling against you as she pushed herself closer to the edge.

The sound of her—the obscene, wet sounds of her body moving against yours, the breathless moans that escaped her lips—drove you wild. Every gasp, every tremor of her body, pulled you deeper into her, and you could feel the tension building in your own body, the tight coil of pleasure winding tighter with every thrust.

Natasha’s head tilted back, her eyes fluttering shut as her lips parted in a silent cry of pleasure. Her breath came in ragged gasps, her body shivering against yours as she rode the waves of sensation, her movements growing more frantic. You could feel the way her body tightened around you, the way she clenched with every thrust, pulling you deeper, harder.

You leaned up, capturing her lips in a searing kiss, swallowing her moans as your hands slid up her back, pulling her flush against you. Natasha responded with a desperate, needy whine, her body arching into yours as she gave in completely to the moment. Her fingers tangled in your hair, pulling you closer as she kissed you like she couldn’t get enough, her lips moving with a hunger that mirrored the wild rhythm of her hips.

The room was thick with the sounds of your bodies moving together, the wet slide of her against you, the ragged breaths and moans filling the air as the tension between you built to a fever pitch. You could feel her trembling, the way her body shuddered with every thrust, her nails digging into your skin as she lost herself in the pleasure.

But it still wasn’t enough.

With a growl of frustration, Natasha broke the kiss, her breath coming in harsh gasps as she pulled back, her eyes wild with need. Her hands gripped your shoulders, her body shaking with the force of her desire, and before you could react, she pushed herself off of you, standing on trembling legs as she backed away.

Her chest heaved with every breath, her lips swollen from your kiss, her eyes dark with lust as she stared at you, her body glistening with sweat. She didn’t say a word, didn’t need to—her intentions were clear in the way she moved, the way her hands reached out for you.

You barely had time to register her next movement before she was on you again, grabbing you by the wrist and yanking you up from the chair. The force of it sent you stumbling, but Natasha was relentless, her fingers gripping your arm with surprising strength as she pulled you toward the nearest wall. Her back slammed against it with a rough thud, but she didn’t seem to care. She was too far gone, too consumed by the raw, animalistic need that had overtaken her.

Her hands were on you again, pulling you closer, her body arching into yours as she pressed her hips against you, grinding in desperate, wild movements. The friction between your bodies sent jolts of pleasure through you, and you could feel the heat of her, slick and ready, as she ground herself against you.

"More," she gasped, her voice raw, barely more than a whisper as her lips brushed against your ear. "I want more."

Her demand was primal, almost a growl, and it sent a shiver of anticipation down your spine. You didn’t hesitate. Your hands were on her in an instant, rough and demanding as you grabbed her hips, lifting her with ease and pinning her to the wall. Natasha let out a sharp gasp, her legs wrapping around your waist as she clung to you, her nails raking down your back as she bucked against you, desperate for the release you both craved.

The world outside faded into nothing as you slammed into her, hard and fast, your hips driving into her with a force that sent her head tilting back against the wall. The sounds that tore from her throat were obscene—loud, lewd moans that echoed in the room, mingling with the wet slap of skin against skin as you fucked her with a raw, primal intensity.

Natasha’s body arched off the wall, her chest pressing against yours as she moaned your name, her voice breaking with every thrust. She was wild, lost in the moment, her legs tightening around your waist as she rocked against you, meeting every thrust with an equal fervour. The feel of her, so tight and hot around you, was almost overwhelming, and it took everything in you to keep your pace steady, rough, giving her everything she wanted—everything she needed.

Her hands found your face, her fingers tangling in your hair as she pulled you into a bruising kiss, her lips moving desperately against yours. Her tongue slid against yours, hungry, needy, as if she couldn’t get enough of you. Every kiss was like fire, every touch igniting something deep within you.

Your bodies moved in perfect sync, a wild, chaotic rhythm that sent you both hurtling toward the edge. Natasha’s breath came in sharp gasps, her moans filling the air as her body tightened around you, her thighs trembling as she clung to you, her nails biting into your shoulders. You could feel her close, so close, and the thought of her unravelling in your arms only spurred you on, pushing harder, faster, until neither of you could take it anymore.

Natasha cried out, her head falling back against the wall as her body shuddered around you, her release hitting her like a tidal wave. The tight, slick heat of her pulsed around you, pulling you under as you followed her over the edge, your own release tearing through you with an intensity that left you breathless.

With a final thrust, you felt yourself spilling into Natasha, the sensation of warmth flooding her as you lost yourself in the pleasure of release. The world around you blurred, eclipsed by the intensity of the moment—her body pulsing around you, squeezing you tight as she milked every drop from you, her own breathless gasps mingling with yours.

Natasha’s eyes fluttered shut, her head tilting back against the wall as she surrendered to the overwhelming sensation. The heat of you filling her was unlike anything she’d felt before—a hot wave crashing over her as pleasure washed through her, leaving her breathless. She could feel every drop, the warmth spreading inside her, a tingling aftershock that made her pulse quicken even further. “God, yes,” she whispered, lost in the moment, her voice thick with desire and something deeper—something that had been brewing between you for so long.

Your own sensations were intoxicating, the feel of her surrounding you, the way her body reacted to every movement, every pulse of pleasure. You could hardly contain yourself, the mixture of euphoria and satisfaction consuming you as you revelled in the intimate connection you shared. There was something breathtaking about finishing inside her, about the trust, the intimacy, and the undeniable bond that felt more tangible than ever before.

As the waves of pleasure began to ebb, you cradled Natasha in your arms, her body trembling slightly as you pulled back just enough to meet her gaze. The intimacy of the moment lingered between you, and you both took a moment to breathe, hearts racing in sync. But soon, the practicality of the classroom flooded back in, and you gently guided Natasha back to the desk.

With a quick motion, you pushed aside her papers and markers, sending them tumbling to the floor with a soft thud. The suddenness of it all made Natasha scowl at you, though her eyes still held a spark of ecstasy. “Those were my actual papers, you know. Students’ exams, assignments,” she said, her voice mockingly stern but the flush in her cheeks betraying her arousal.

You shrugged, a playful smirk creeping onto your lips. “I promise I’ll clean up for you later.” Then, without hesitation, you slowly ground yourself into her, drawing a low, needy moan from her lips.

Her expression shifted, that scowl faltering as pleasure flickered in her eyes, but she quickly regained her composure, some of her confidence returning. She shook her head, grabbing you by your tie with a firm grip. “Clean up now.”

“Alright, alright!” you laughed, pulling out of her with a reluctant groan, the sensation of leaving her tight warmth making your body ache for her again. You hurriedly gathered the scattered papers and markers, your heart racing not just from the lingering pleasure, but from the silly urgency of the moment.

Once everything was piled neatly on the other side of her desk, you turned back to find Natasha waiting for you, her legs spread wide and her gaze sultry, yet commanding. There was a newfound softness to her submission, a flicker of vulnerability beneath that confident exterior.

“Look at what you’ve done,” she teased, her voice low and laced with satisfaction. She shifted slightly, showcasing the aftermath of your union—a glistening creampie that had pooled at her entrance. The sight sent a rush of heat straight to your core, desire rekindling in an instant.

The sight of her, flushed and beautiful, a mixture of confidence and submission, made your breath hitch. You took a step closer, captivated by her, by the warmth of the moment and the spark of something new blooming between you. The playful tension hung thick in the air, a sweet promise of what was to come.

You couldn’t help but be captivated by the sight of Natasha sprawled out before you, her body a beautiful mess of satisfaction and desire. With a mix of awe and urgency, you knelt down and gently lifted her legs, holding them up to give yourself a better view. The sight of your shared release oozing from her made your breath catch—an intoxicating mix of both of you, a physical testament to what you had just shared.

It kept coming, slow and steady, and you felt a surge of possessiveness wash over you. Mesmerised, you simply looked, taking in every detail—the way her slickness glistened against her soft skin, the way her breathing still quivered with remnants of pleasure. Natasha chuckled gently, her eyes sparkling as she took in your reaction, the rough moments from before fading into a sweet memory. “Come here, Дорога́я [Darling],” she murmured, caressing your cheek with her delicate fingers.

Before you could fully respond, she pulled you back in with a gentle tug on your tie, a smirk playing at her lips. The heat of her touch made your cheeks flush deeper, and you made a mental note to wear a tie more often, just for her. As her legs shifted, wrapping around your waist, the connection between you deepened, the weight of her body pressing against you in the most inviting way.

You gently pushed back inside her, entering her again with a deliberate slowness that drew a soft sigh from her lips. The warmth enveloped you, a beautiful contrast to the cool air of the room, and you could feel the shared release mixing with the sensation of her body welcoming you back in. It felt like coming home. The trust between you was palpable, an unspoken agreement that only strengthened the shared bond.

Natasha’s gaze locked onto yours, and in that moment, you could see the love blooming beneath the layers of your physical connection. There was a softness in her eyes, an openness that melted the remnants of your earlier roughness. You felt possessive, yet tender, wanting to cherish this moment, to worship her as she surrendered beneath you. Each thrust was deliberate, coaxing soft whimpers from her lips, and the way she arched into you only fueled your desire to give her everything.

“Look at you,” you breathed, your voice thick with emotion as you watched her face, her expression a mix of vulnerability and trust. She smiled back, a small, knowing grin that sent a thrill down your spine. In her gaze, you saw a world of possibilities, a future that began right here, right now. And you couldn't wait to explore it with her.

With each movement, you found yourself lost in her, in the way she surrendered, in the way she filled your heart with warmth. The trust was unbreakable, and as you held her close, cradling her like the treasure she was, you knew you’d do anything to keep her safe—body and soul.

You couldn’t get enough of Natasha—her warmth, her softness, the way she surrendered to you completely. As you pound into her, the desk creaked beneath you, a quiet reminder of the chaos you had just created. Your body hovered over hers, and you allowed yourself to drink in the sight of her in this exact moment—hair splayed across the desk, cheeks flushed, and those captivating eyes shimmering with a mixture of desire and trust.

With a tender touch, you lowered yourself to her, capturing her lips in a kiss that was both soft and passionate. It felt like an unspoken promise, a reminder of the connection that bound you two together. Natasha melted beneath you, her fingers tangling in your hair as she pulled you closer, deepening the kiss with a fervour that ignited your own desire.

The world around you seemed to fade once again, leaving only the two of you in this intimate bubble, but as the kiss deepened, a fire ignited within you. You began to move faster, harder against her, your body fitting against hers in the most delicious way, feeling every inch of her against you. The warmth of her skin beneath your fingertips sent shivers down your spine, a stark contrast to the cool wood of the desk beneath her.

You settled into a rhythm, wanting to savour the moment, the way she responded to you. Her breath hitched, a soft moan escaping her lips as you hit that perfect spot, drawing forth more of those loving, yet utterly pornographic sounds that filled the room.

“Just like that,” she breathed, her voice thick with pleasure. “Please, don’t stop.”

Her encouragement was like a spark, igniting something primal within you. You pushed deeper, your pace quickening as the need to feel her completely enveloped you. As you pressed into her, you could feel her pulling you closer by your tie, the connection between you becoming more electrifying with each tug.

But as the intensity built, so did the chaos of the moment. Your movements became slightly rougher, the desk creaking more beneath the force of your passion, and you felt the neatly stacked papers you had just organised go flying in a flurry, scattering across the floor like fallen leaves. A soft gasp escaped Natasha as she looked at the mess, her expression a mixture of amusement and desire.

“Oops,” you murmured, a grin breaking across your face as you continued your relentless pace, not willing to let the interruption slow you down. The laughter that bubbled up from Natasha turned into a series of moans as she found her rhythm with you again, her pleasure rising higher.

“Don’t you dare stop,” she gasped, her legs wrapping tighter around your waist, urging you deeper.

You couldn’t help but comply, your desire morphing into something more intense, more commanding. You felt powerful, her submission only fueling your fire, and as you took charge, you could see her surrendering completely.

“Tell me how it feels,” you demanded softly, your breath ghosting over her ear, and you felt her shudder beneath you.

“More,” she moaned, shaking her head, her voice thick with need. “I need more.”

That simple command ignited your desire further. You focused your thrusts, pulling back just enough to thrust back in harder, the sound of your bodies meeting filling the air. Each movement sent shockwaves of pleasure coursing through both of you, and as her moans grew louder, you felt her body tightening around you, drawing you in deeper.

With every thrust, you pushed her closer to the edge, feeling her body respond so eagerly to yours, the world outside fading into nothingness. The connection between you was raw, electric, and as Natasha’s fingers tightened in your hair, you felt a rush of pride wash over you. She could be yours—this beautiful woman beneath you, completely yours to love and cherish.

With every thrust, the tension coiled tighter and tighter in your core, a delicious pressure building that threatened to overwhelm you. You could feel the heat radiating between your bodies, the raw intimacy wrapping around you both like a warm blanket. Natasha's body responded eagerly, urging you on with every moan and whimper, her legs still tightly wrapped around your waist as if she never wanted to let you go.

“Please,” she gasped, her eyes locking onto yours with an intensity that left you breathless. “Inside. W’na feel you, please.”

Those words sent a bolt of electricity through you, pushing you closer to the edge. The way she begged for you only heightened your desire, your body moving in a desperate rhythm, driven by an instinctual need to fill her. The universe stood still as you surrendered to the moment, pouring every ounce of yourself into her.

As you felt the wave building, your heart raced in tandem with your body, anticipation igniting every nerve ending. “Natasha…” you gasped, feeling the overwhelming pull of pleasure.

“Да [Yes], yes! Please!” she urged, her voice a desperate whisper as the connection between you ignited. 

With a final, deep thrust, you felt the wave crash over you—an overwhelming rush of pleasure that sent you spiralling into ecstasy. You released inside her, warmth flooding both your bodies as the sheer amount of your orgasm spilled into her. It felt electric, each pulse of your release sending shockwaves through Natasha’s body. 

Her moans turned into gasps, the sound rising from deep within her, a symphony of pleasure that reverberated against your chest. The sensation was overwhelming—her walls clenching around you, tighter and tighter, as if trying to draw every last drop deeper inside her. “Oh m– s’too much!” Natasha gasped, her breath hitching as her eyes widened, a mix of pleasure and surprise washing over her features. “Cлишком много, пожалуйста, слишком много, ещё— [Too much, please, too much, more]” The urgency in her voice sent a thrill through you, igniting a possessive fire as you felt her body shudder in response to your release. The warmth of your orgasm mixed with the slickness of her arousal created a heady sensation, drawing you closer together, deeper into this moment of blissful intimacy. You could feel her heartbeat, wild and frantic, echoing in time with yours, as her body quivered beneath you, a perfect melding of desire and urgency.

The kiss that followed was frantic, filled with the taste of each other’s desperation, but in the frenzy, you didn’t notice as a final spurt escaped, landing directly on her dress.

As the intensity faded, reality rushed back. You pulled away slightly, breathless and flushed, and that’s when you noticed the mess you’d made. Natasha’s laughter filled the air, bright and melodic, breaking the tension of the moment. “You’ve really done it this time,” she teased, the playful scowl back on her lips, even as her body betrayed her with soft, lingering shivers and twitches of pleasure. “Those were my students’ papers, you know! One of those is yours!”

You chuckled sheepishly, a small hint of embarrassment creeping in as you glanced at the scattered papers across the floor, remnants of your earlier chaos. “It was calculated,” you said, trying to sound earnest as you began to gather the papers back into a pile.

But just as you focused on tidying up, Natasha gasped, her eyes wide as she looked down at her dress, spotting the evidence of your earlier mistake. “Oh my god,” she said, shock mingling with delight. “You did NOT just—”

You couldn’t help but grin, your cheeks warming as the reality of your clumsiness hit you. “I didn’t mean to—”

Her gaze softened, and that familiar spark lit up her eyes again. “You’re lucky I’m so turned on right now,” she quipped, her lips curling into a playful smile. “But you might have to make it up to me.”

Once the papers were neatly stacked, you turned back to her, noticing her legs still slightly parted, a lingering invitation. But her gaze was focused on you, amusement dancing in her eyes, and you couldn’t help but wonder what she was thinking.

“I can’t believe I’m falling for my clumsy student I met in a bar,” she said aloud, shaking her head in disbelief, even as a smile crept onto her lips. “They’re incredible at this—and at maths and physics—but my god, she’s such a mess.”

And in that moment, you felt a warmth swell in your chest, knowing that amidst the chaos, something beautiful was blooming between you both.

–

The soft hum of the engine filled the space between you, and as you glanced over at Natasha, you noticed the way her gaze lingered on you—like you were the entire universe contained within her eyes, the very centre of her galaxy. It made your heart swell with warmth and a sense of intimacy that felt brand new.

“So, what do you call this?” you asked, a playful smirk tugging at your lips. “I mean, since I’m not really your pet.” You furrowed your brow, feigning deep contemplation. “Teacher’s pet seems a bit off…”

Natasha couldn’t help but laugh, shaking her head at your antics, her laughter bubbling up like sunlight piercing through clouds. “You’re a special case, you know that?” she replied, her eyes sparkling with delight. The confidence you wore so easily now intertwined beautifully with a vulnerability that both of you had shed in that classroom, revealing the deeper parts of your personalities that you’d kept hidden.

“So, are you a student’s pet, then?” you shot back, a teasing grin spreading across your face.

That made Natasha snort, a sound that was both unexpected and delightful. You couldn’t help but join in her laughter, the sound echoing through the car as you interlaced your fingers, feeling that shared warmth enveloping you both.

–

Once you were nestled together in her bed, the world outside faded into insignificance. The room felt like its own universe, wrapped in the glow of the moonlight filtering through the curtains. Your head rested on Natasha’s chest, her steady heartbeat beneath your ear like a soothing rhythm that kept you grounded. Your fingers traced the soft strands of her hair, twirling them gently, while her fingers danced across your back, tracing patterns that felt like constellations only the two of you could understand.

In the quiet, you could feel the depth of your connection, the vulnerability between you. After a moment, you looked up at her, heart fluttering with the memory of her earlier words. “You know,” you whispered, your voice soft and filled with affection, “your Russian was really attractive.”

Natasha chuckled, her fingers still tracing stars on your skin, her eyes filled with a warmth that seemed to encompass you entirely. She leaned down, pressing a soft kiss to the top of your head. “Is that so?” she murmured, her tone playful but tender, her affection unmistakable as she continued to hold you close. Natasha's smile widened, a faint blush creeping across her cheeks as she looked at you with an expression that held both playfulness and sincerity, but mostly love.

[clovers-housetree]

Activities for Regressors Without Caregivers! (or just fun regression activties!)

(Although you're always welcome here if you'd like any form of comfort anyway! ^w^)

This one's kind of a long one, after the few tips I list, I've mentioned an app I use called Finch, which will be talked about below the cut.

Since that's the case, I'll put my little ending message here instead:

Knowing how to take care of yourself can take a lot of work and practice, but I believe it's worth the effort, because then you'll be a happier and healthier you! Especially if you can find ways to make it fun!

I'm more than happy to be here for you and offer my support in any way I can, anyhow! I'm proud of you for doing what you can, I know it can be very hard.

I myself don't have a caregiver for when I regress, so most of the time I end up taking care of myself! Here are some fun activities and things I do when I regress to keep myself calm and happy! ^w^

Paci mentions/pics not long after the first section for those of you who'd rather not see 'em.

♥ Arts and crafts! I absolutely LOVE coloring and making bracelets with beads, something not too complicated for little hands, but also something fun!

With coloring, you can buy coloring books, or draw something of your own to color in- even printing out a page you find online, coloring digitally, or tracing over something to color in could work! I prefer coloring more than drawing personally because I don't draw all the time, but I bet I could learn a little thing or two from the artists around here!

For bracelets (and other jewelry), strings can be hard to knot with little hands (at least they aren't those small, slippery clasps!!), but the beads shouldn't be too hard to handle if you're careful! Even just planning out patterns is fun!

Here are some My Little Pony bracelets I made, and the decorations I did for my pacis!

♥ Making playlists! Dancing is fun, and a good way to get the zoomies out, but you can just make playlists for any occasion! I have playlists that help me pet-regress, songs with sounds I like, adventure playlists... (Well- a lot of these are still in progress, but- you get the point!)

I also love those playlist videos on YouTube! Animal Crossing, Super Mario Galaxy, Minecraft and music box music are typically my go-to to help me settle or just make for comfy background music! Here's one of my favorites, shadowatnoon has lovely Nintendo music mixes!

♥ Playing with your plushies! You can take them on adventures, or make your own!

Like Toby, climbing The Great Pillow Mountain!

(This is Toby by the way, he's one of my best friends and a VERY good hugger!)

You can play games with them, too! Toby's REALLY good at hide and seek... Maybe you can find him for me? :0

♥ Finding shows to watch! I really like Paw Patrol and Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles at the moment. Plus, you can look at agere content and fics from shows you like! People make really cool stimboards and moodboards, for example, and I like reading through all the fun stories people write!

Here's a silly picture of Rocky I found! :3

Finch

Finch is a self-care app where you take care of your very own little bird friend by taking care of yourself!

You can set daily goals, or for each day (or more specific ones as well I think.). By completing these goals, you give your bird energy to go on adventures! They usually come back with a funny little story or silly questions, because they're learning, too!

Through completing these goals (or daily, at least), you can get Rainbow Stones, which you can use to buy clothes for your bird, make them different colors, or give them furniture for their house!

They're also LGBTQ+ and disability-friendly!! :3

This is my little bird, Honeydew! You're welcome to friend me as well if you'd like, my code is: Z3E2T7VRK6

It's helped me learn a lot about taking care of myself and keeping track of my goals, and I get little rewards for it! I've used the app for several months now, and it's helped me out a lot!

"Fluttershy protects this blog! SFW interaction only, please and thank you! ^w^"

"Wouldn't show a kid? Doesn't belong here!"

[candy-rat]

☀️ˏˋ°•*⁀➷✧Puppy Love✧

♡ Percy Jackson x Fem!Apollo Reader

♥︎ Summary: you attempt to teach the cute boy you may or may not have some feelings for how to better work a bow and arrow. || Percy blurb!

☆ Warnings: None!

(ofc i know the relations between Apollo, Zeus, And Poseidon but the readers relation w Percy and the reader is the same w him and annabeth so use that info as u must) 

★ A/N:  I’ve only ever read the first and a bit of the second book + the two movies so this is based off the new series(Walker Scobell) + plus I have the BIGGEST crush on Walker Scobell.

♪ Credits: Ty Bunny’s RPH for the divider<3

+Barely Proof read

It was another sunny day at Camp Half-Blood, kids either chasing each other around or actually putting effort to train and what nots.

Surprisingly the archery field was as empty as ever, which is why you find yourself here.

As the daughter of Apollo you tend to neglect your gift of archery rather finding yourself in simple socialization, but today you thought differently.

Your dad would be proud, wouldn’t he?

As you were in the middle of your archery session you swore you heard the sound of bushes rustling.

The sudden noise caused you to turn around, trying to identify where the noise was coming from.

You were met with the sight of a boy.

Not just any boy.

Percy Jackson.

With earlier memory you can recollect, the boy was definitely not the best with a bow and arrow, so why would he be here?

“Uh, hi” the boy spoke up.

“Oh uh, hi?” You responded in a confused yet optimistic tone.

There was an awkward silence for a moment.

You’ve seen the boy on multiple other occasions, you never really talked to him before.

To be honest with yourself, you probably had the slightest crush on the boy.

The tiniest one of course, you barely knew him.

“So, do you need something? Or?” you spoke, breaking the silence.

“Oh! Uh yeah I did, yeah.” He replied with a slight crack in his voice.

Another moment of silence.

“Uhm, what do you need, uh Percy was it?” You questioned.

You didn’t need to ask, of course you knew his name.

It’s not creepy, word just gets around you know?

“Yeah uh that- that’s my name, you’re (Name) right? Daughter of Apollo?” He asked.

“Oh yeah, that’s me.” You replied.

“You’re like really good at archery right?” He asked once more.

“You could say that, being the daughter of Apollo kinda you know comes with it, but my older siblings are definitely better.” You confirmed.

“Well I was uh wondering-“ he responded.

“Mhm?” You simply hummed in reply.

“If you could, i don’t know uh teach me how to get better at archery?” He finally let out.

You looked at your bow and back at Percy.

You wonder exactly why he asked you.

Maybe he just came here in hopes to ask the first person he sees, or maybe he was looking for you specifically.

That’s a nice thought.

“Really?! Okay, I don’t mind!”you replied.

“You don’t?!” He replied.

“Of course not! I don’t have much to do anyway.” You giggled.

Before anything you told him the basics, how to stand, how to correct your breathing, and how to aim better.

The day went on.

Percy missed the target completely most times.

But once he finally got remotely close, you had to say you were proud of the blonde.

You were happy to even spend time with him.

“There you go Percy! That was great, you’re getting better!” You chuckled, swinging you arm over his shoulder squeezing him a bit.

He froze at the sudden contact for a moment.

“Thanks! I really c-couldn’t have done it without you, you know!” He went on blushing.

“Awe don’t sweat it, it comes naturally so I never need to put much in to it, but thanks!” You thanked the boy, feeling your face heat up.

Percy handed you the bow back queuing the end of your lesson.

“You know if you ever want me to teach you again I’d be happy to, just swing by cabin 7 I’m usually there.” You mentioned.

“Yeah sure, but about that-“ he started.

“About what?”

“Well uh, seeing each other again you know? Like not during training” He blushed.

“O-oh! Yeah i wouldn’t mind at all, I enjoy your company!” You responded.

“Really?!” Percy added.

“Yeah really.” You confirmed.

“I uh- like being around you too.” Percy smiled.

The two of you got along perfectly.

Like a puzzle piece.

You definitely had a crush on him.

He might like you back.

Percy definitely is too scared to confess anytime soon.

And maybe that’s good.

Love takes time.

Especially puppy love.

A/n: innocent puppy love is deff the vibe I’ll always go for with my Percy fics so hopefully I’ll have time to do more      (Miles 42 fic in the making!!!!)<3

[magics-neptunes-things]

Bang, Bang.

Hi guys!

So this is from this request and it won't be an happy one. It might contain some medical things who aren't right, but I'm not a doctor even if I made some research to write something logical.

Please enjoy and thanks again dear anon for your perfect request ♥

Also no proofreading for now, sorry!

TW : Fight between lover, gun, shooting, bleeding, hospital, coma, sadness and a lot of angst.

Champion’s league finale. You are playing with your team against Barcelona and more specifically your girlfriend’s team. The Spanish are looking for another cup to continue to break all the records, but your team is very motivated to stop them. It would be the first Cup for your club and for you, too. It’s not ideal playing against your girlfriend honestly, but you knew when you start dating that it was a risk to take.

Alexia and you are together for more than two years now, your forever crush becoming reality at a point during the Euro and when Alexia did her ACL. It’s not easy being away from your girlfriend, even if you are playing in Manchester city with some of your national teammates and friends (Laia Aleixandri and Leila Ouahabi).

The game is tough, at the end of the ninety minutes, each team has scored two goals. At the 93 minutes, you manage to take the best on the defender who is marking you, using your full speed after having received a very good pass from Laia. You can hear the crowd screaming, City’s fans encouraging you while Barcelona’s fans are booing. But when you are facing the keeper, you shut everything and send a cannonball in the upper corner of the net. The keeper can’t do anything.

You don’t have time to register that you just scored 1 minute before the end of the adding time, your teammates tackling you on the ground. This is a mix of jersey, hair, hug and pat on the head for several seconds, before the referee ask you to go back to your position to start the game again.

She made you play two minutes more to catch up the time you lost while celebrating, but Barcelona don’t score. Then the whistle resonate in the stadium and you just won the UEFA Champions League. Not knowing how to react, you stay still for many seconds, before someone jump on your back to train you in a group hug.

You don’t stay a long time though, you want to check on Alexia. You easily find your girlfriend sitting on the ground, her jaw clenched. There is no one around her, so you chose to go to see her. You promised each other that you won’t be resentful to the other, whatever the ending of this game is.

So you think nothing more than being a recomfort to your girlfriend when you arrive next to her.

“Hi” you say softly.

You don’t know if Alexia realized your presence before you talk, but the eyes she lays on you aren’t really friendly. But you decide not to stress about it, kneeling next to her to put a comforting hand on her arm.

“You played very well. I’m so proud of you for the way you leaded your team. And this goal was something else.”

You smile, referring to the second goal, a real banger from Alexia. She doesn’t answer anything, so you just continue talking.

“You can be proud of yourself too, you know? You did everything you could and gave all you could. It’s –“

“Can you please shut the fuck up?”

Alexia doesn’t look at you when she cuts you, but you can tell how angry she is just with the tone of her voice. You are surprised enough to stay quiet and she continues.

“Don’t act like you have all the merits on this win. Your team is lucky that some girls are injured and that we don’t have our usual team playing tonight. If we had all the players, we would have crush you. Don’t take your win for what it’s not. You are just lucky, this has nothing to do with talent.”

Well, you didn’t expect that. Alexia has always been supportive of you, but more generally she always has been respectful and fair play to her opponents. You realize that there is Leila and Patri standing behind you when Alexia gets up to go somewhere else.

“Alexia.” Patri says in a tone of reproach.

But your girlfriend doesn’t answer anything, still walking to the Barcelona’s bench. You can only look at her leaving, stunned by her reaction. You take Leila’s hand who helps you to get up.

“Don’t listen to her” Patri says before hugging you. “You were amazing.”

“Thank you” you mumble.

Leila hugs you tightly too, not without looking at Alexia with reproach too. After that, the ceremony has a bitter taste for you, to be honest. It can’t be seen on picture, you are smiling between Alanna Kennedy and Laia, raising the cup or kissing it. Or being kissed on the head by Laia.

But in reality, you just want to talk to your girlfriend. She didn’t look at you when she passed between the two lines of your team when she goes to take her silver medals. And then she just went to the locker room, not even watching you raise the cup. It hurts, as much as her words did.

But you try to be understanding, you know how bad your girlfriend deal with the idea of losing anything, probably taking all the mistakes on herself. You manage to catch her, hair down and wet, before she leaves with her teammates to take the bus to go back to her hotel.

“Alexia!” you call her.

You don’t see her sigh and roll her eyes, which is good otherwise you probably will be hurt a little more. She was walking with Irene and Ona and turn around to look at you. You already talked with the two others after the game, so you smile back at them when they smile to you before leaving both of you.

“What do you want?” Alexia says harshly.

You are a little stunned, by the tone of her voice and the question. But you don’t say anything, trying to ignore the strange feeling in your stomach. Alexia never talked to you that way. You almost never fought since you are together.

“Talk to you? Can we at least have some minutes together?”

There is a moment of silence.

“No. I don’t want to talk or see you right now.”

********

The celebrations are strange after that. You make all the efforts you can to keep a smile on your face and not ruin your teammate’s joy. Alanna and Leila are looking at you with intensity and you’re pretty sure that Leila told to Alanna what happened between you and Alexia. But you manage to keep them away from you enough to be able to leave as soon as Kerstin.

You tried several times to call Ale when you go back to your hotel, but she doesn’t answer. You prefer to think that she’s asleep and not ignoring you. You send her a message after that, hopping to have an answer during the night or in the morning.

You didn’t.

The morning after, when you wake up, you realize that there is no message from Alexia. Your social media are full of notifications but nothing from your girlfriend. You haven’t post anything either, not wanting to upset your girlfriend even more.

You were supposed to stay in Paris, where the finale was played, together for two days before going back to Barcelona. But with Alexia not giving you any news, you are really scared that she chose to go back to Barcelona without you.

After reading the list of your friends in the Barcelona’s team, you chose to try to call Ona. You can’t help but smirk when you hear Lucy’s voice instead of the Spaniard. But your friend comes several seconds after, and you are finally able to ask if she has news from Alexia.

You are relieved to learn that she’s still in Paris, and even more when Ona accepts to make you sneak in the hotel. Your plan is to go buy some flowers and chocolate for your girlfriend; this is her guilty pleasure. You discovered that during the first weeks of dating her.

After some research, you chose the best chocolate shop around your hotel and go to it to buy some. You take some time to select them, being sure that Alexia will enjoy every single one of them. When you are happy with it, you pay the box but add a cute white teddy bear sitting next to the cashier. No one seems to recognize you, which you are glad for. Like this you can take all the time you want.

You decide to walk to go to the florist, situated between the chocolate shop and Alexia’s hotel. The weather is great, sunny but not too hot. It’s still hotter than Manchester though.

The florist is very nice, and you look around while she’s serving other people who were already here when you arrived, right now it’s a family with a small girl smiling at you. You love the smell in here. The roses are amazing, and you ask the florist something with red roses in it. You look at her ease to make a wonderful bouquet with amazement.

“Tout le monde les mains en l’air !“

You hear the shout before you see the man, but the sweet florist’s face is suddenly very white. You don’t understand what was told, so you turn around to look what is happening.

There is a man with his face hidden behind a mask who is pointing a gun in your direction. You are glad that the family with the cute toddler left.

“A genoux!”

You don’t understand and you have to look around to know what he’s asking. The other raised their arms and are now kneeling, while you are still standing without moving.

That seems to make the man very mad. When you turn your eyes to him once again, he says something that might be a swear word. Then there is a sound of gunfire and the pain you feel is worst than anything you felt in your life.

You hit your head hard on the ground and suddenly the people around are screaming, but you don’t understand why. They are talking in French, and you have trouble to understand anything. It seems to you that the man got the money he wanted before leaving. The rush in your ears is very unpleasant and when you look at your chest, you realize that there is a big, red spot on your white shirt.

Suddenly there is a woman kneeling next to you, grabbing your face to make you look at her. It’s the florist.

“Hey! We called the ambulance, they are coming, ok? Stay awake, please.”

“I need to call Alexia” you breath, while taking your phone from your pocket.

“OK. I’ll press something on your stomach to stop the bleeding, ok?”

You just nod. Your hands are shaking while you open your phone, and your vision is blur when you look for your girlfriend’s number. It’s not hard to find though, she’s on the top of your list. You let the phone ring for several longs minutes before accepting the fact that Alexia won’t answer.

“She’s maybe still asleep” the girl points.

“No” you whisper shakily. “She’s mad at me. Those were supposed to be gifts for her”

“I’m sure she’ll love it”

You start to have trouble to breath. You close your eyes and try to take a big breath. You start to feel anxious too. Are you going to die without having heard your girlfriend’s voice a last time? Without being able to tell her how much you love her, how much she means for you?

You suddenly feels very tired, you understand what it’s mean. Fighting to open your eyes, you look for the woman’s eyes before talking. It seems like you don’t speak very loud, because she leans on you to understand.

“Will you tell her that I love her? Please. She always meant the world to me and I’m sorry that she’s so upset. Will you tell her?”

The woman’s eyes are wet when she talks to you.

“You will tell her yourself, Sweetheart.”

You know you won’t be able to. So you need her to promise you.

“Please. There are no words strong enough, but I love her more than anything. Will you give her my presents too? I wrote a card with the bear”

Your words are hard to pronounce, but you manage to say every single one of them, being sure to be understand. The woman nods and you feel relieved.

“I’m sure she loves you too.”

The woman cup your face and you decide to believe her. You close your eyes again and let yourself being wrapped by the memories you have with Alexia. The best of your life.

********

Alexia is sitting in a chair, her head in her hands. Everything seems unreal. Her eyes are red from crying, her throat is dry, and her head is pounding painfully. And she wonders if her breathing will be normal again at a moment.

She feels awful.

She was the worst girlfriend in the world for you and you never deserved it. You took the time to find her to talk to her even if you were probably drunk with the adrenaline of the win. You said sweet words to her, took the time to comfort her and she still had this behavior.

To be fair to her, she was really trying to find a way to come back to you to apologize. She was showering when you tried to call her after being shot, not knowing that you already made a plan with Ona to come to her.

Then, she received the worst call of her life. She’s the number one on your emergency calls so the hospital you were transferred to call her as soon as they could. It was three days ago, and she never left this room since.

You had a surgery and when she arrived in your room at first, you weren’t even here. Then they bring you in it and she learned that you probably won’t make it. But it’s been three days, and you are still here, your brain seems to still work correctly, and your heart is still beating.

You lost a lot of blood though and several of your organs got touched by the bullet. You are healing and it’s only because you are an athlete and in a very good shape that you are still alive.

Just when she thought that nothing could get worse, she received a visit that she didn’t except. She frowns at first when a cute girl entered your room with a teddy bear, a chocolate box and flowers. But then the florist explained to her what you ask her to do and that the precise moment where Alexia lost it.

You parents and Alexia’s mother join you in the hospital to be there for you, but for Alexia too. Ale’s mother never managed to get Alexia out of your room. Alexia sleep on the chair, Alexia eats the awful hospital’s food, Alexia takes shower in the bathroom of your room.

Sometimes she cries, sometimes she just looks at you. No one never heard her voice since she’s here. She’s so hurt that she feels like she can’t speak anymore. She only speaks to you when you both are alone. She’s so hurt, too, that she wants to rip her heart of her chest.

Alexia lost track of time, her mother and your parents left several hours ago now, and the sky is dark. The bips from the monitoring are still in the background, but Alexia doesn’t pay attention to them anymore. Unless they are making strange sounds, like yesterday. Your heart was suddenly in great difficulty.

The nurses explain to her after having stabilized you that it’s because your body need a lot to heal, and it could be hard for your heart.

The Spaniard keeps thinking that her behavior probably had hurt your heart so much that she’s responsible of your state. She is wrong of course, even if she was bad after the game, it’s not in any case of her fault.

When Alexia raises her head again to look at you, you are still with your eyes closed, your skin paler than ever. You are Spanish too, you have a natural tan skin, but now you look… ill. Alexia hates it.

“Mi Amor” she whispers while taking your hand in hers, her throat hurts when she talks. “I know you are doing everything you can to heal and come back. You don’t know what your life means to a lot of people here. Your parents, your family, your friends, your fans… Me, of course. But I don’t know if you steel want me after everything that happened. You got hurt because of me.”

If she wasn’t a little shit, you wouldn’t have been in this flower shop. That’s what she shouts to her sister when Alba tried to make her leave your room. Tears are rolling again on her cheeks, and you would probably kiss them if you were awake.

“I am so sorry. I’ll give everything to be at your place. I’m not able to ask it, but please come back. I need you so much. I don’t know how I am supposed to continue without you. You weren’t at Barcelona, but it’s seems like you are everywhere every time. Everything makes me think about you. I need you. Please. I’m so sorry.”

Alexia lost her father several years ago and it was heartbreaking, of course. Her father was her model when she was younger. Her guide. But you, you are the love of her life and she is convinced that she won’t survive your lost.

“Take the time you need to heal and then I’ll do everything for you to forgive me.”

Tears are rolling freely on her face, but she doesn’t care anymore since a very long time. She rather kisses your hand, relieved to feel the warm of your skin on her lips. Alexia frowns slightly while looking at your fingers though. They had to remove the ring you were usually wearing on your finger; the one Alexia offered you for your one year together. Alexia wears it around her neck on her chain, her fingers being too big to wear it on her finger.

“I love you. I’ll stay with you every second until you wake up.”

She means it and she did it. Even when they were other games played, she never left your side. They talked about transferring you in England, where you live, but Alexia refused, and your parents agreed with her. They never doubt about the love Alexia had for you; you never hide from them how good Alexia treated you during your time together.

You weren’t really aware of that to be honest. You were somewhere over the rainbow, far away from your girlfriend and the one you love. Even if it isn’t the case for Alexia, it’s better for you. Seeing Alexia’s distress would probably break you. You sometimes feel lighter, but you like to think that it’s the time when Alexia takes your hand or kiss it.

********

“We would like to make her try to breath without monitoring. We need to see if she’s able to breath alone.”

“No.”

Alexia’s answer is harsh and cold, but her mother puts a hand on her shoulder to calm her. Your mother is more diplomatic about her answer.

“Isn’t it risky?”

“Everything is risky” the doctor says, trying to ignore Alexia’s glare. “But her organs are better, and we need to revise her treatment. We will stop the monitoring for an hour, and we will check her oxygen constantly during the process.”

“What if she stops breathing?” Alexia asks.

“The chances are very rare. In fact,…”

“What. If. She. Stops. Breathing.”

Your father smirks when your girlfriend talks again, carefully articulating each of her words with cold anger. He always loved Alexia and he probably loves her even more right now.

“We will put her back on monitoring and try something else.”

Alexia snorts and crosses her arms on her chest. She hates that idea; she hates the idea that they are putting you in danger without any reason. She doesn’t say that it’s bullshit just because her mother is here and she is always careful about the words she chooses when Eli is around.

“I won’t leave her side a single second” she rather informs your medical team.

She doesn’t when they try, her eyes being on the screen with the indicator of your oxygen in your body or on your chest, watching it raise every single time. When one hour is passed and you are still breathing normally, she feels a little better. The medical team decided to let you like this for now, wanting to see if you can make the night.

The night pass and you are still breathing. Then a whole day.

“I’m so proud of you” Alexia whispered against your forehead before kissing it softly.

She explained to her mother how she treated you the next time you saw her, the guilt was eating her alive. Her mother didn’t try to tell her that she’s wrong to feel that way, Eli agreed with Alexia about how bad she was. She nevertheless comforts her daughter with words she knew were true. She remembers to Alexia how much you love her and that you still went to grab her presents before wanting to come to her.

Three days without monitoring and you are still breathing like you are peacefully sleeping. They are still feeding you with your catheter but other than that you don’t need anything to be alive.

Everything was fine and that’s why she panicked when you start to whine suddenly. Hands shaking, she jumps from her chair looking around before pressing the button to call the nurses. She doesn’t know what she managed to say, but the nurses start to talk way to fast in French, one of them taking her phone to call the doctor.

“What is happening?” Alexia asks, her breath almost impossible to take.

“We need you to leave the room for a little time” one of the nurses asks her.

“No way!”

“Alexia…”

Eli’s voice makes her daughter looks around, but the blond doesn’t move. She just shakes her head, informing every single person in the room that she won’t leave you. Bad or good news, she will be here. She needs to be here.

The three women don’t have the time to convince Alexia a little longer, because the doctor suddenly comes into your room, talking in French too and Alexia wonders if she will explode from frustration soon.

She sees several monitors coming into your room too and when your mother-in-law comes to your girlfriend to pass her arms around her shoulder, Alexia looks at her with lost eyes.

“Is that it? Is she dying?” she whispers.

Eli feels her heart break, but she doesn’t answer. She doesn’t know. She just cups her daughter’s face and keep her face on her chest. Eli doesn’t move when Alexia grip her arms pretty hard, tightening her daughter even closer to her, trying to protect your girlfriend from another lost.

The next minutes were agonizing for your girlfriend, and she can’t open her mouth when the doctor comes next to her. She doesn’t understand all the bip from the different monitors around you. She doesn’t know if you are still alive or not.

“She is ok” he says at first, having learn to understand Alexia through the days, and your girlfriend feels like she might faint from relieving. “I think she is trying to wake up. The next hours will be decisive.”

After that, Alexia sits even closer to your face to have a better look at you. Every night her mother goes back to the house Alexia rent for her and your family so they can be close to you.

She hasn’t sleep since more than twenty-seven hours when you move again. But this time you open your eyes and look around. You seem scared, your eyes looking around you.

“Sh Bébé, can you hear me?” Alexia whispers after having regained some composure.

Her hand is on your face, soft like a feather. She manages to calm you quickly and you nod very softly. Alexia sees it anyway.

“You are at the hospital. You are safe, ok? Just try to breath a little slowly.”

You keep looking at her, trying your best to calm yourself. You don’t know how many minutes have passed before you swallow your saliva and open your mouth.

“No. Don’t talk. Keep your energy, ok?” Alexia whispers again.

As your memories come back, you are relieved to see that Alexia is by your side. She looks like she hasn’t sleep or eat in the last two weeks, but you don’t leave her face with your eyes, even when she moves to let the doctor and nurses check several things on you.

You tiredly let them do what they want with you and Alexia never left you with her eyes either. She watches the medical team to be sure they are doing things right with you. When they talk to you in English, you are way to tired to understand what they are saying. Luckily, your girlfriend is here to translate in Spanish.

“They want to know if you are hurt somewhere. Don’t shake your head, just close your eyes two times if you are hurt and one if you are ok.”

You blink slowly one time. You are not hurt, you are tired. Your answer seems to relieve everyone around and you close your eyes to rest when they are talking in English again. Alexia answers something and you trust her to make things right. They are talking for several minutes before the silence is here again.

You open your eyes suddenly, scared that Alexia has left too. But she’s here, typing on her phone, informing your parents and family that you are awake. She seems surprised to see you watching her when she puts her phone down.

“I thought you fall back asleep” she says softly, turning her body to look at you. “Do you want to drink?”

You blink once and she almost run to get you a glass of water from the bathroom. If you were able, you probably have laugh at her. You hope to have a little of water in your mouth can help you to talk. Alexia uses the buttons of the bed to make you seat and is very careful in every of her move to help you drink.

“They said a little bit at time”

You oblige and the feeling is amazing honestly. You look at your girlfriend and you focus on your sentence before talking, not wanting to waste any energy.

“Did you get my presents?”

Your voice is awful, but it’s not a surprise. You don’t really know since when you are here, without talking. But you need to know.

Alexia turns in your direction and suddenly her eyes are wet with tears and her hands are shaking.

“I did. That sweet girl came in here to give them to me the first day. The flowers are here” she points them. “Thank you, even if you shouldn’t needed to get me any of this. We will talk about it later, but Y/N/N I’m so sorry. You didn’t deserve the way I treated you. You are the sweetest and most perfect girl in the world. And I love you more than anything.”

“Alexia…”

She puts her finger on your lips, putting you in silence.

“Keep your energy for when your parents are coming.”

You roll briefly your eyes and for the first time in weeks, Alexia smiles. Not her sometimes awkward smile, who makes you think about that Friend’s episode where Chandler is supposed to smile for his engagement’s pictures. You always teased her about it.

“I love you more than anything too” you whisper when she takes her finger back. “Stay with me?”

“Of course I will”

You don’t know that she never left your side since you are here. Just like her mother several hours ago, she cups your face with extra care before stroking your hair. Right to her words, Alexia never left you for a second and wait for you to be able to go back to Barcelona for your recovery.

********

Several Months Later.

“What would you think about me coming to play in England?”

In shock, you spit out the pudding you were innocently eating. Like every morning since your hospitalization, Alexia and you are talking over FaceTime while you are eating your breakfast. Like always, Alexia just came back from her morning jogging and is eating her breakfast too.

“What the hell are you talking about?” you ask, the choc passed.

“Me playing in Manchester? I really want to be close to you. I hate being so far away from you and being able to have you in my arms only for two weeks every two months.”

You probably are dreaming or hallucinating. You look at your girlfriend on your screen like if you were waiting for her to tell it’s only a joke. That’s what you are waiting, to be honest.

“Alexia, you will die in the English weather” you point. “And they are eating pudding and beans on a toast for breakfast here, I don’t know how you would survive.”

Your girlfriend rolls her eyes – just like she hates you do – and seems suddenly to find her tortilla very interesting.

“Don’t you want me there with you?” she asks with insecurity.

Since you got shot, you sometimes have the impression that she’s just waiting for you to break up with her. Something you will never do, how in the world are you supposed to live without your reason to breath?

“That’s not the point Cariño” you assure her with a smile. “I would love to be able to wake up every morning next to you.”

“What is it then?”

She’s almost pouting and you want to squeeze her cheeks with your hands.

“There is something I haven’t talked to you about.”

She looks panicked when she raises her eyes on your, turning your head back on you so quickly that you wonder if she hurts herself.

“What?”

“Don’t be mad, ok?” you begin, starting to eat your porridge again. “But I might have received an offer from Barcelona. I haven’t talk to you about yet because I wanted to be sure that it’s a real offer and that they are serious about it. City seems ok with me coming back to Barcelona, but nothing is signed for now.”

“Do you want it? Coming back?”

You look at your girlfriend thoughtfully. You understand where this question comes from, Alexia just wants to be sure that you are not doing things for her, but for you and your career.

“I miss Barcelona. I miss the Spanish weather, I miss my family… Sure I’ll miss Laia and Leila and the RFEF is still shit, but I want to give it a try.”

“Ok” Alexia smiles.

You can see that she’s thinking about something, but you don’t pressure her to talk. You know that it will comes when she will be ready. You finish your breakfast, talking about everything and nothing while Alexia looks at you from the corner of her eyes. The thoughts haunting her mind come out loud several minutes later.

“Are you going to go back to your parent’s?”

“Like living with them?” you raise an eyebrow before continuing when Alexia nods. “No, of course not. I’m 24 years old, I’m way to old to live with my parents again” you laugh softly. “Why?”

“I was thinking that there’s enough room in my closet for both of us. If you want it.”

“Are you asking me to move in with you?” you smile tenderly.

“Yes, if you want to?”

“I would love it, Ale.”

______________________________________________________________

To be honest with you I wanted to make R died but I can't stand a sad Alexia.

[pink-amethyst-tarot]

🤍 Why You Should Be Proud Of Yourself 🤍

credit to @crystallilytarot for the idea 💕

P I L E 1 P I L E 2 P I L E 3

Close your eyes, take a deep breath and choose the pile that you think is the one for you ♥

P I L E 1 - You have come so far! Four of Swords, The High Priestess, Two of Pentacles, Eight of Pentacles, Ten of Pentacles, The Fool, The Magician

The first thing I heard before even pulling cards is The Party's Just Begun by the Cheetah Girls and that feels like a sign that you should be having fun, dancing and living your life to the fullest! Your life can be so beautiful if you let it.

You know much more than you think that you do. I feel like you are back and forth between losing faith in yourself and feeling like you are finally breaking through. (I know what that's like, I've been there too much.) You've got to cut yourself some slack. Yeah, it's not perfect now but, you have made so much progress and that is important. You are so much closer to the finish line than you realize. Don't give up now. You've worked too hard and have come too far to give up now.

party cuz you know the future's all yours // dance 'til your feet don't touch the floor // celebrate the day you've waited for // party like you're ready for so much more // do it like you know it's never been done // go a little crazy // have too much fun //today's the day, c'mon everyone // the party's just begun //

Channeled song - The Party's Just Begun by The Cheetah Girls

P I L E 2 - Going With The Flow Two of Pentacles, Nine of Pentacles, Two of Wands (Reversed), Six of Pentacles, Justice, Queen of Pentacles, Eight of Swords

Despite your fear of change, you have overcome, finding your balance in your life and either now or soon, you will be enjoying the fruits of your labor. That could be financial abundance for this pile - it seems pretty likely, considering all the pentacles. You have been a very giving person and now it's time that people start giving to you in whatever way that may fit you.

You should also be proud of yourself for getting yourself to a point where you don't feel sorry for yourself. You've done the work to really see the truth of the situation - where you have been both right and wrong - and you've seen that you aren't as stuck as you once thought.

P I L E 3 - You've opened your heart again! King of Cups, Ten of Swords, Seven of Swords, Seven of Pentacles, Ace of Swords, Eight of Pentacles (Reversed), The Moon, Ten of Cups

You've been through some hard times. I feel like your heart was really bruised and batter but, despite the things you have been through, you have taken your lemons and turned them into make lemonade! I can see some of you turning to writing, journaling, or posting on social media. You have been working on yourselves and you are so happy with the progress you've made. You should be proud of yourself; I know I am! This work you have done on yourself is leading you to a new beginning in your life, a change of pace that you have be dying to have!

Your dreams are coming true and your intuition is spot on! You are about to get everything you wanted and then some so you can relax and know that your life is about to change for the better.

If you are looking for a personal reading, you can look on my shop on Etsy at PinkAmethystTarot, DM me or send me an e-mail at pinkamethysttarot@gmail.com

If you feel called to tip:

C@SH@PP: $oddlycozycottage

P@YP@L: @oddlycozycottage

KO-FI: @oddlycozycottage

Thank you all so much for interacting with me and my readings, it really does mean the world to me!

Page Divider by @cafekitsune

LEGAL DISCLAIMER: FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY. THESE READINGS ARE FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY. no guarantees are implied. These readings are not a substitute or replacement for any professional help or services. My readings are not a substitute for any form of professional legal, medical/psychiatric, relationship, religious/spiritual or financial/ business advice nor consultations. You should always see a professional legal/trained adviser for help in any matter. I am not responsible for any decisions/ actions you take.

[daphwritesworld]

Would you write for player x player x reader???

If so could I request a Leah x Alessia x Reader fic?? I feel like they'd be the perfect combination of strict and soft, so interchangeable too!

Leah x Teammate!Reader x Alessia

content: Top!Leah, Bottom!Reader, Top!Alessia, overprotective!Leah, peacekeeper!Lessi, strap on use (R receiving), pussy eating (R & Alessia receiving), nipple play, squirting, overstimulation

warnings: talk of passing out & being unconscious, little bit of Leah semi shouting but only bc she’s worried about you, Reader pushing herself too hard

synopsis: You push yourself too hard your first game back on the pitch. It’s a good thing you’ve got two extra worried girlfriends to remind you to properly rest.

word count: 2.8k

!! 18+ NO MINORS !!

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━♥♠♥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

They warned you. Told you to be careful and not to push yourself at your first game back…but did you listen? Absolutely not. Why would you listen to them? The two people who care about you most. Why listen to them when you’ve got a thick skull and an even thicker will to do whatever the fuck you want.

Sure they’re just looking out for you, but your need to prove yourself to everyone in this stadium is overwhelming. And the need to prove it to yourself is suffocating. Like a pair of invisible hands around your throat— squeezing and squeezing the life out of you until you go out there and score.

So that’s exactly what you do. You get put in the last half of the game, fire coursing through your veins as you run out on the pitch. Your brows are furrowed as you stay focused, you see Leah in the midfield shooting the ball, and next thing you know it it’s coming right at you. You let the adrenaline take over, your brain realizing you’re blocked in.

So without hesitation you do the only thing you can think of— you kick the ball towards the goal. You don’t even turn around, too scared to see your failure play out in front of you. But the boos never come, a wave of cheers erupts within the stands as your teammates surround you as they scream words of encouragement towards you.

Alessia and Leah are the last to leave you, giving you quick forehead kisses with whispered “Good job, darling!” & “So so proud of you, love!” before they run back out to their positions on the pitch. The energy pumping through your veins is enough to drown out the dull ache in your head. You’re fine! You’ve been cleared to play, and you’re starting back on restricted time. At least that’s what you keep telling yourself. That’s what you tell yourself as the seconds tick down, your foot making contact with the ball as your vision starts cutting in and out. You can hear the cheers from the crowd and then all you see and hear is black.

You come to in the med room. Each of your girlfriends on either side of you as you slowly blink open your eyes. You groan out as you get use to the new light source— two heads snapping up as you do so. “How are you feeling, love?” It comes out so soft and pillowy light.

“Like she fucking pushed herself too hard, that’s how she’s feeling!” A less sweet voice cuts through the air. You dart your eyes down at the tone, eyes filling up with tears as your teeth bite down into your bottom lip. You really don’t want to break down in here, praying you can at least make it to the car. “I-I’m really sorry. Can we please just g-get in the car..then you can yell me all you want. Okay? I..I’m sorry,” you’re picking at your fingers as you say it.

Your body language is so drawn into yourself— you know you messed up. You’re shutting down right in front of them as you retreat into your own body for comfort. Leah lets out a sigh, her anger dissipating as she leans down to bring your eyes up to meet her’s. “I’m sorry, too. I was way too harsh, my love. I know you just wanted to play good, and you did. You scored us two goals, and the winning one with only seconds to spare…” her voice trails off as her eyes get a little more serious. “But then I had to watch you go down— again. No, we did. Me and Alessia. We had to stand by on the sidelines and watch a bunch of doctors work on your unconscious body as they hooked you up and wheeled you away. We were terrified, darling.”

You look up to meet her eyes, tears filling up in hers mirroring yours as the weight of everything finally hits you. She pulls you into a hug as you both let it out. Crying into each other as she caresses your back. Alessia stands up to lean into the embrace. A hand on the back of Leah’s head and the other one runs up and down your arm. She’s trying to be strong for the both you— take the brunt of the emotional tax. She can calmly kisses your foreheads and tells you both it’s gonna be okay. One of you has to hold together, and right now that’s Less. Like the glue you always say she is, she bonds you three on that small little medical table. Held together by nothing but sheer love and adoration.

“Come on lovies, let’s go get in the car,” she says it so soft, to not disturb the comfortable silence you’re all bathing in. She tugs you both a little, urging you to hop down. You untangle your arms as Leah helps you hobble off the uncomfortable table. Alessia walks up behind you both, a hoodie of hers ready to be put over your head. You lift your arms as she slides it on, planting a kiss to your cheek as she fixes the hood for you. They both lead you out of the building and into the chilling night air of London.

Alessia gets in the back with you, letting you snuggle up to her as Leah climbs into the drivers seat. It’s a short ride to your flat, thankfully being a home game this time round. You don’t even notice that the car’s stopped moving. Not until Leah’s opening the backseat and Less is rubbing your back as she coaxes you out of your sleepy daze. “Come on, love. Gotta get inside so you can eat.”

You sigh before leaving her warmth, climbing out of the car as they once again surround you, on either side as the guide you into your shared home. They set you on the couch before Leah settles down with you, letting you climb into her lap as you get comfy. You know she won’t be cooking, letting Alessia do all the work as she focuses on keeping you awake. That’s always how it ends up…well usually a little more R-Rated, but you don’t except her to want you after pushing her and yourself like you did today. You lean your head up to rest on hers— forehead to forehead as you speak so softly you’re not sure if she can even hear you, “I am really sorry, baby. I hope you’re not still mad at me.”

She lets out a deep sigh before tapping a finger on your cheek, you direct your gaze to hers already knowing the telltale sign. “I’m not mad at you, love. But you will be getting punished after dinner. I’ve already discussed with Less. No if, ands, or buts. She agrees you deserve a little lesson on pushing yourself, too hard. You understand?”

A smile pulls at the corner of your lips as you giggle a bit at the realization. “Yes ma’am, I understand.”

“Don’t look so happy to get punished. What are we gonna do with you, darling?”

Dinner pasts smoothly, all of you eating as you finish a new episode of the show you’re watching together. You lay there for a while after you’ve all finished, bellies full and end credits rolling across the screen. You almost forget about your fate upstairs, that is until they’re both sharing a look before turning to you. Trapping you in a corner to the couch with only them to turn to. “I’m gonna do the dishes, and by the time i’m upstairs you better be listening to Less’s every word. Are we clear?”

“Yes ma’am. We’re clear,” you swallow between words. Fire running through your veins for a whole new meaning now.

She backs away from you as she collects the dishes on the coffee table before you. Alessia starts guiding you up to your shared bedroom where you know you’ll be pulled apart and put back together. When Leah’s harsh and by the book, Alessia is lenient and bending rules for you. But don’t be fooled— they can switch at the drop of a dime, too. They fill in whatever roll they need to, anything to balance out exactly what you need.

You’re being laid down into the bed before you know it, Alessia pulling away the articles of stained clothing that separates your body from her. She’s being so sweet and gentle, kissing your naked body as it’s gifted to her sight. You swear you could fall asleep like this. That is until your other girlfriend comes into the room, laugh light on her breath as she walks closer to the edge of the bed. It sinks down as she climbs forward on it, stalking her way towards you. Like a predator and its prey. You lie still as you watch her with wide eyes, body cowering as you think of all the things she could do to you.

“Spread your legs for me, sweetheart,” She licks her lips as she says it. A dark color overtaking her irises as she keeps looking at your exposed body.

You listen, spreading them as far as you can before her, presenting yourself to her fully. You know you’re dripping wet— you can feel it. You’ve been able to feel it ever since you sat on her lap before dinner. She groans out at the sight of you. Her fingers pulling your pussy lips apart as your face flushes at the way she’s studying your cunt. Like she and Alessia haven’t had you like this too many times to count— their little personal fuck doll.

Leah can’t hold herself back before she’s sinking her mouth down onto your clit, sucking on your bundle of nerves as Alessia starts playing with your nipples. Her mouth switching between them as her hands hold yours down onto the sheets. Can’t have your pesky little hands pushing them away because you’re too drunk off their touch. You swear you can feel every nerve in your body responding as it jerks around, pleasure wrecking in through waves. They’re toying with the your most intimate parts in ways you haven’t felt in weeks. You’ve missed there touch so much— craved it even.

Leah’s tongue moves down to your hole as her fingers come to rub on your clit, her eyes never leaving your face. She loves tasting you like this— when you’re so helpless. Pinned down and shaking like a leaf, spread out for both your girlfriends’ enjoyment. She’s being so messy tonight it’s making your head spin. She’s shaking her head with her tongue held out, pulling back and spitting on your clit, and just straight up making out with your pussy. At this point it’s all for Leah’s pleasure. She’s eating you like this because she wants to, and who are you to deny her? It doesn’t take long for that familiar burn to start brewing in your belly. A fire starting that you can’t put out. “I-I’m gonna cum!”

“Go ahead. No ones stopping you, love.”

You look up at her in disbelief, thighs clenching as you hold back your orgasm. There’s no way she’s letting you cum after today..right? Your eyes are bouncing around as your brain scrambles.

“Y/N. It’s okay. Don’t worry this is still a punishment, you’ll see,” Leah says it as she rubs little shapes into your clit. Kissing your inner thigh before shoving her tongue back inside you, tongue fucking you at a rhythm you didn’t even know was possible. You’d have to remember to pamper her later— you know her jaw must be about to fall down off after this. “Cum for us, love,” this time it comes from Alessia as her tongue starts circling around your nipple, her wet fingertips mimicking her tongue’s pattern as it goes around your other bud.

Your vision starts to get blurred and you clench your thighs around Leah’s head— an ungodly noise ripping from your chest as you cum on her face. Cum painting her nose and cheeks as she moans into the liquid gold leaking out of you. Alessia’s running her hands up and down your arms, leaving little kisses on your face as she tells you what a “Good Girl,” you’re being.

You go to open your mouth, but get cut off by a whimper leaving your mouth. Your hips go to jerk away, but Leah holds them down. Tsking at you as she shakes her head with a smirk. “I told her this was still a punishment, didn’t I, Less?”

“Mhm. You sure did, Le,” Alessia says while straddling your head. Her fingers never leaving your sensitive clit as she keeps rubbing into it. They both share a laugh as they look down at you between Lessi’s thighs, your big wide eyes staring back up at them. “Be a good girl and make Less cum, baby.” Then she’s sinking down onto you, silencing you as she starts grinding down onto your face.

You get lost in the task— moaning up into her as your hips grind against the air. You’re not sure where Leah went, but you’re not too worried at the moment. Which is unfortunate…because if you were listening close enough you would’ve heard the bedside drawer opening and closing, or maybe the unmistakable sound of Le sliding on her favorite harness. Maybe then you wouldn’t be bright red with embarrassment— hiding your face between Alessia’s thighs from the way you squirt on just the tip of Leah’s strap. Making a defining silence take over the room as both girls stop their ministrations. She’d barely got it in before the liquid shot out and sprayed both her, Alessia, and the sheets below them. A loud high pitched moan breaking out of your chest and into Less’s cunt that had her cumming early all over your face as well.

You’re about to say something— defend your busting early, but Leah beats you to it. With the way her hips pull back and then slam down into your slick heat, “Someone’s missed my cock, huh, darling?” she’s making out with Less as she says it. You can’t tell if she’s talking to you or your other girlfriend, but it doesn’t matter. You wouldn’t be able to respond anyways with the way your brain is turning to mush. Less is still sat on your face— pussy wetter than ever as your tongue keeps exploring her.

You don’t know if you’d wanna respond anyways..Leah gets so cocky when she has a fake dick tied around her waist. Her mouth can be deadly in the best of ways when she knows she’s making you feel good with it. She’s had you cumming in minutes when she runs her mouth, telling you how much your pussy loves her, “Ohh look darling, she’s practically begging. Crying out for me isn’t she?”

That’s what she says when you’re wet— that your pussy is crying out for her. She can be the nastiest of talkers when she wants to be, talking straight to your pussy as she leans down to finger fuck you open to take her cock. She’s even shushed you before, “Shhh, baby! I’m not talking to you. I’m talking to your pussy.”

But Less is always there to balance it out, with kisses to your furrowed brow until the wrinkles there are gone and your relaxing back into the pleasure. Leah may love to tease you, but Less always knows when to reassure at the right times. The yin to Leah’s yang.

Before you know it, you’re cuming around her again— Alessia’s fingers still rubbing tight circles into your clit as you squirm away from her touch. Leah’s grabbing your hips as she starts fucking you faster, a new found energy to render you boneless. “I told you this was a punishment, love. You wanted to push yourself on the pitch? That’s fine. We’re gonna push your record for most orgasms in a night. Aren’t we Less?”

“Mhm, you’ve got four more to go, darling! Almost there,” She hops off your face as she plants a kiss to your lips. Disappearing behind you as their words sink in. Your arms go to Leah’s shoulders as she changes angles a bit, throwing one of your legs up over her shoulder. You don’t even notice the bed dip back down, or the buzzing sound infiltrating the air now…but you definitely feel the vibrations on your red, puffy clit. Sending tears to your eyes as your legs start to shake, screams and pleads skipping from your kiss swollen lips as you cum once more. Then Alessia’s leaning down— licking up the tears from cheeks before she presses a button on the wand vibrator..sending it up into a faster setting. Your nights truly only just beginning. Lord be with you.

[crheativity]

Hello! I'm not sure if you're taking regular requests, but can I request hcs for the Malleus, Deuce, Epel, Ace, and Azul finding out that the reader has a crush on someone from their dorm but it isn't them? The reader actually has a crush on one of the NPCs, and that NPC requites the reader's feelings. How would they react?

It's ok if you don't want to do this also. No pressure

-💀💅

SUMMARY: They find out you have a crush on someone from their dorm… that isn’t them.

WARNINGS: Cut-off swear in Epel’s section, angst D:

NOTES: why must you do this to me. I love these boys sm. how could you do this.

(Also, sorry for the delay D:)

There’s a hole inside of him that can’t be plugged with your friendship anymore. Almost everyone knows something is up - everyone except you. Around you, nothing’s different. He’s the same happy, goofy guy he always is. But the minute you’re not around, the smile fades, the joy is gone. He has zero motivation to do anything. And yet, he’s gotta continue being your friend. You don’t have a whole lot of people here for you. He’ll hide himself until he’s numb if it gives you the support you need.

“…”

He’s calling his mother, in tears, as soon as he gets a moment to himself. He doesn’t know what to do - he’s never really dealt with love before. His mother, fortunately, knows just how to soothe him, and he begins to move forwards and onwards. He distances himself a little out of respect - at least, until it all goes away. He doesn’t want to make you uncomfortable - especially since he tends to wear his heart on his sleeves. As soon as he can act normal around you again, he will, but please give him the opportunity to move on first.

“Hey, mum? …what do I do?”

He hated himself. Of course it wasn’t him. Of course it was another Octavinelle student. What was he thinking?! It’s just like those kids would tell him - he was slow and chubby and stupid, and that’s not counting the overblot incident, why would someone like you even look at someone like him? Azul isn’t proud of it, but he finds himself looking for dirt on the student. He’s not gonna use it or anything, but he needs some kind of way to cope, and throwing himself into his work seems the best possible course of action. At least, until his silly hopes and dreams stay shoved in the trash can where they belong.

“…those kids were right.”

It’s because he looks like a girl, isn’t it? He KNEW talking to Vil and Rook about this kinda thing was a bad idea - look at where it got him! Now he’s gotta live with the fact that he’s always playin second fiddle with you. Makes sense though - who’d wanna date a girly boy like him? Although, maybe if he proved to you that he’s the better choice, you’d like him instead? Or, maybe he could fistfight that other prissy pomefiore kid. He’s honestly not sure what would help him feel better right now. He feels very uncertain - like the world is both shattering and strangely familiar at the same time.

“I’m gonna beat his a-“

He’s sulking. You’re in love with someone else and he’s sulking. What is he supposed to do now? It’s entirely unfair that you are his everything, his happiest dream, yet he’s barely in yours - at least, not in the way he wants to be. He’s avoiding you for a while, locking himself in his roomm. The rain seems endless, thunder and lightning acting as proof of his bad mood. Sage Island almost floods. Lilia and Silver respect his wishes for you to be around less but think he’s being a bit dramatic.

“Malleus? It’s been storming for weeks now. Can you come out of your room?”

♥Thank you for reading!! I hope you enjoyed it!!♥

[from-the-clouds]

savior complex - joel miller x f!reader

masterlist | song inspo | gif: @joelmjller

All the skeletons that you hide Show me yours, I'll show you mine

summary: Joel shows up at your doorstep, battered and bruised. Despite the bad blood between you, do you have the heart to turn him away? Enemies to lovers. Takes place pre-television series/game. Was written as a companion piece/prequel to my other joel fic, but can be read on it's own. pairing: joel miller x f!reader words: 7k warnings: SMUT - 18+ ONLY, minors DNI. porn w/ plot, unprotected sex, dirty talk, implied age gap. Enemies to lovers. Heavy angst, multiple POVs, implied drug abuse, alcohol use, implied death of a family member, canon-typical suffering! Descriptions of injuries, blood, stitches (please dm for specifics if you have any questions). a/n: I haven't seen the enemies to lovers trope written for joel yet, and I'm also obsessed with the trope of a character showing up at their enemies house because they don't have any place to go. So maybe this is a little self-indulgent. Special shoutout to @ay0nha for letting me talk to you about this fic! Please enjoy, I'm really proud of/excited about this one.  ♥

“What do you want?” 

The ice in your own voice comes as a surprise. You weren’t sure you were even capable of sounding so cold, but it’s probably a good skill to have nowadays. Plus, he’s probably the last person you expect to see, and certainly the last person you want to see standing in your doorway.

“I need your help,” he says. 

You snort, lips pressing together in a bitter smile. “Uh-huh.”

It’s so dark in the hallway, you can barely see his face, but you can imagine what Joel might look like, lines etched in his face from the permanent frown he’s always wearing, particularly when dealing with you. You’ve known him a handful of years, here and there, and you’re pretty sure you’ve never seen him smile….or laugh…or display any emotion other than irritation, or indifference. 

The breeze from your open window shifts your curtains to the side, lets a sliver of light from the full moon pan over him, and you can see him clearly, just for a second. 

He’s covered in blood. 

It’s hard to see exactly how much, but it’s all over his face, his shirt, and accompanied by dirt and grime. One of his hands hangs limp at his side, his opposite clenched into a tight fist. The breeze dies down, the curtain falls back into place, and he’s cast once more in shadow. 

Crossing your arms, you lean against the doorframe. Anyone else, you’d help without question. At one point, you would’ve let him in willingly. But it had been months since you’d last spoken, and you had no intentions of ever seeing him again.

“Why should I help you?” 

He lowers his eyes, looks at the floor. When he answers, his voice is strained. 

“Because I have nowhere else to go.”

The more your eyes adjust in the dim light, the more you can see. Tattered clothes, rain dripping from the tips of his salt-and-pepper curls, his eyes dull. You wonder if he’s trying to make himself look like a kicked puppy, petulant and pathetic, but it doesn’t really seem like something Joel would do.

“Please?” 

He’s in pain, you can read it on his face, and you wonder if it’s because of his injuries, or because of how horrible it must be for him to beg you for help. Historically, it’s always been you in his place, needing something – and if it didn’t serve his interests, he’d leave you in the dust. Joel never made exceptions, no matter the circumstances, despite how long you’d known one another. With that to consider, you have every right to turn him away. You should feel satisfied, seeing him so desperate. You wished you could feel satisfied, but you didn’t.

“Fine.” You let him in. What is it about him that always makes you cave? 

Pulling a chair away from your small kitchen table, he staggers behind you, favoring his right foot, bracing himself on any surface he walks past – the doorframe, the countertop, the table, until he finally lowers himself into the chair.  

You cross the room. It takes most of your bodyweight to shift the couch in the corner of the room away from the vent behind it, and you kneel down. Air conditioning and heat are a thing of the past, but it’s got other purposes now. Using a blade of the knife you always keep handy, you’rable to pry the metal grate away from the wall, to pull out a tin tackle box that you haven’t had to touch in awhile. 

Joel’s still at the table when you return to him, breathing labored, and you flick on the lights. He blinks, his eyes are on you, you can feel the way his body is pinched with nervous energy – like a starving feral cat that’s been trapped in a cage, and still can’t decide if it trusts you yet. As if you’d ever done anything to hurt him. If anything, you should be scared.

“Alright,” you say. “Let me take a look at you.”

His eyes have shifted away from your face, but, too proud to cast them down, he’s glaring at some fixed point behind you, glazing over. He doesn’t want to register what is actually going on. It doesn’t stop you from the task at hand, and you begin to take inventory of his injuries.

“So what happened?” you ask. He’s got a black eye forming, several small cuts all over his face, one of which is slicing through his bottom lip, causing it to swell.

“It’s none of your business,” he quips.

“It’s precisely my business, if you want me to be able to actually help you.” 

“A deal went wrong,” he said. “I was in someone else’s territory. They said rather than turning me into FEDRA, they’d let me off easy.”

“This is being let off easy?” you ask, then cluck your tongue. 

Joel doesn’t answer. 

“And that?” you eye the bump forming on his opposite temple. 

“It’s nothing,” he says, even though, when you graze a thumb over it, he swallows hard. 

“You’re gonna need to be more specific.”

“Got uh, shoved into a brick wall.”

You slide two fingers underneath his chin, using light pressure to tilt his face towards you. “Look at me.” When you’re staring at him like this, studying him closely, you’re forced to acknowledge how handsome he is. Even battered and bruised, it’s the dark, sad eyes, sharp jawline, long lashes that draw you in. He’s hardened by the world he’s been surviving in for twenty years, like everyone is, but he wears it well. You’d never tell him that. 

“Any blurry vision, dizziness?” You aim your flashlight in his eyes, and his pupils constrict. 

“No,” he says. You study him a moment more, and know what to look for. But you don’t find anything of concern.

“Well, I don’t think you have a concussion,” you say. “But I’ll keep an eye on it…..What else happened?” 

“Got me with a knife.” That is what you’ve been the most concerned with since he’s stepped inside. There’s a dark stain blooming on his shirt, just below his left ribcage

“I see,” you say, stepping back. “Take your shirt off.” You open the tin that you left on the table.

It’s full of medical supplies, ones you’d pocketed from the QZ hospital the last few years working there. It’s not easy to sneak them out, nor is it entirely ethical, but you’ve gotten pretty good at it, and now have a decent sized stash built up in case of any emergencies. You’re still deciding if Joel Miller’s well-being is worth the waste of supplies it’s going to be.

When you turn back to him, he has unbuttoned his shirt, but is struggling to shrug it off his right shoulder, where his arm hangs limp at his side. 

“I….” he manages….”I can’t move my arm.”

“Sit up,” you instruct, and he does, which gives you room to slide the rest of his shirt off his shoulder. You immediately notice the obvious deformity. “Looks dislocated.” 

He nods, looking at the floor. “I was trying to defend myself.”

The idea of him, outnumbered and outmaneuvered, a position he’s so rarely in, is unpleasant. He might be an asshole, but because of it, he always comes out on top. There’s something almost comforting about that kind of consistency these days, and it’s tough to stomach the idea that he doesn’t have superpowers, he’s just another person. You’re not sure why you still hold him in such high regard.

You can’t dwell on it. Especially because what’s more pressing is the cut below his ribs, a few inches in length. It’s still bleeding, but not severely. It’s not a stab wound either, even though it’s deeper than you’d expected, but there’s no internal organ damage.

You take a clean cloth and place it over the wound, guiding his left hand overtop it. “You’ll need stitches.” You slide your hand from underneath his, ignoring the warm weight of his touch. “But we need to stop the bleeding. Apply pressure.” He does, and winces.

“You don’t have anything for the pain?” you ask, raising your eyebrow. 

“Front pocket of my shirt,” he says. You fish out a pill. Oxys. You’re not sure how strong they are, and you don’t want to encourage the habit, but this might be a case where he actually needs one. 

There’s a glass of water already sitting on the table, and you grab it, standing over him. Neither of his arms are free to accept the offering.

“Open up.”

He glowers at you like a defiant child. 

“Are you serious?” you tilt your head. “Come on.”

Reluctantly, he opens his mouth, and you tilt your hand to drop the pill in and lift the glass of water to his lips. 

When you’re done with that, it’s time to work on his shoulder. You had done this a few times before, even once to your mother, who had also been a doctor. Med schools didn’t exist anymore, but you didn’t need a degree now to provide care, at least not in this QZ…just experience. And your mother had taught you everything she knew. Before your part of town fell to the virus, she’d even had you reading her old textbooks. So you felt like you were only missing the degree.

You pull up a chair to face him, so close it’s touching the corner of his own, and sit, carefully taking his injured arm and bending it upwards with one of your thumbs in the crease of his elbow, your opposite hand wrapped around his wrist until his forearm is resting against your chest. 

It’s way more intimate than you want it to be, but you don’t have much of a choice. His jaw is set so hard you think he might crack a tooth. “So sometimes, if you relax your muscles enough, you can actually get the shoulder back into place that way.”

You release his wrist and reach out to knead the muscles around the problem area - his chest, his shoulder, in between his shoulder blades. He tilts his head back in the chair, his face pinched. 

“It’s okay,” you say softly. “Just don’t hold your breath, that makes it worse.”

Joel hates this, you can tell. How often does he have to rely on someone so much to help him, that he lets them touch you like you are, lets them see him vulnerable? 

As much as you can, you avoid eye contact, looking down. You didn’t need to see him shirtless before to know that he’s muscular – not perfectly cut, but that isn’t really your thing, anyways. He looks good enough that your eyes are being drawn to places they shouldn’t be, down his torso to the v-lines dipping into the waistband of his jeans. He clears his throat, and you turn to find him watching you. You hope he can’t feel the way your heart is hammering against the back of his hand. 

It’s been a few minutes that you’re trying to get him to relax, but he can’t seem to. You should’ve known that this method wasn’t going to work for him of all people.

“Okay, I’m just going to try to move your arm a bit, see if that’ll work instead.”

He nods.

“Just keep breathing,” you instruct. “In through your nose, out through your mouth.” you slowly guide his elbow forward, still keeping traction. 

He hisses. “Relax,” you soothe. It’s hard, despite the bad blood between you, to resist the urge to be warm, gentle. To reassure. It’s in your nature, it’s part of your job.

Eventually, and with a little patience, you’re able to get the joint to move back into place, and you check to be sure Joel is able to move it on his own. He can, even though it’s sore. You fashion him a sling made out of an ace bandage. 

“You’re probably gonna be a little sore for a while, so take it easy.” It’s probably a useless instruction to give because you know he won’t take it easy. 

He has a sprained ankle, and you wrap it up, elevate it. There’s a near-perfect footprint left behind in dirt on the skin there. Like someone had stomped on his leg hoping to break it. You’re glad they failed.  

Next is the stitches. There’s a few cuts on his body that need one or two, but you start with the big one. The wound has stopped bleeding, so you disinfect it, pull out your tools, and begin working, bent over him. Every time the needle pierces his skin, he tenses. You wonder if the one oxy was enough, or if it hardly touched the pain because he’s using them so often.

The entire time you’re treating him, you’re trying to be as clinical as possible. You’ve got to focus because if you think too much about him, you think about the last interaction you shared, and how pathetic you’d been. And the fact that he’d thought to come to you of all people for this makes your head spin. It’s not supposed to. You aren’t supposed to feel these things for him. You aren’t supposed to owe him anything.

Joel’s fist curls so tightly into itself that his knuckles turn white, fingernails leaving crescents in the skin of his palms. “Kind of feels like you’re making this as painful as possible.”

You smirk slightly. “Don’t give me any ideas.”

He sniffs, and you glance up to see him looking down at you, the ice that had been in his gaze before has thawed.

You squint at him, try to act indifferent, and turn your attention back to the stitches. “Don’t worry, I’m almost done.” 

“Thank fucking-”

“Shhh, you’re distracting me.”

His hand relaxes slightly as you keep working, slow and methodical, silence casting like a spell. 

“Why me?” you ask, finally.

“What?”

“Why did you come here? To me?” you pause. “It’s been forever. You’ve got Tess, right? Couldn��t she help you?”

Joel rubs his aching shoulder. “I didn’t want to scare her,” he answers. “And…I know you’re used to handling this kind of thing.”

“Uh-huh,” you say. “I am.”

One of you should probably acknowledge what had happened. But it won’t be me, you think.

“There,” you tie off the last stitch, and cover the wound with some gauze and a waterproof bandage. “You’ll probably need antibiotics. I’ll try to snag some from the hospital tomorrow.” 

Once you’ve fixed the most pressing issues, you focus on cleaning all the cuts and bruises on his face, his torso, cleaning and wrapping his bloodied knuckles. It’s probably been at least two hours since he arrived when you finally draw away from him, your surgical gloves snapping as you pull them inside-out, and off your hands, discarding them on the table, which is now littered with bloodied gauze, bandage wrappers, and medical supplies. You wish you had more ice packs than just the one for his shoulder and ankle, since he could use them just about everywhere, but it’ll have to do. 

“Could use a drink after all that,” Joel says, looking at his hands, flexing his fingers. 

“Don’t push it,” you answer, scraping the mess off your kitchen table into a bin. It dawns on you that you do have a half-empty bottle of bourbon sitting in your cabinet that’s surprisingly good. “But now that you mention it….” 

He snorts, the closest thing to a laugh you’ve ever heard. 

You pour a few fingers of whiskey into two glasses, sliding one across the table to him. Neither of you clink glasses, but you do eye each other over the rims of your cups as you take the drink in one go.

Joel places his empty on the table. “I should get out of here.”

“In your shape, it might be better to wait for light.” As much as he won’t admit it, you know he’s still weak, not in his right mind, and vulnerable to any FEDRA agents working the streets. “But I have to sleep, I’ve got work in the morning.”

Surprisingly, he doesn’t fight you. 

You curl yourself up on the couch, that is old and worn but still surprisingly comfortable. Joel sits at the table awhile more, and has one more drink. After all the activity of the night, you’re out within minutes. 

Joel drags himself over to the bed, which you’d never offered him directly, but he assumed to take since you were on the couch. He doesn’t think he’ll sleep, but he can’t sit upright in your uncomfortable kitchen chair anymore. Every part of his body aches. Your bed is in the corner, neatly made, even though it’s just threadbare sheets and a blanket. His never is, and he finds it ridiculous you must waste the time at the beginning of your day for something like that.

He sprawls across it, surprised at its comfort. A breeze coming through the open window drifts your curtains to the side, and he catches a glimpse of the full moon. Between the liquor, and the pills, the pain has subsided enough that he’s able to relax a little. The sun will be up soon. He just has to wait…

— — — — — —

The next thing Joel hears is your voice, muffled by the buffer of your front door. He looks at the clock next to your bed, it’s early in the evening. The sunlight trickling through the gaps of your curtains is golden, a slanting orange glow in the corner of the room. The window is closed. Fuck. Did he really sleep all day? He uses his good arm to shield his eyes from the offending light before stretching. 

Sheets on top of him rustle, he must have climbed under them at some point the night before.

It feels like he’s been hit by a freight train, and he groans. Pain drips through him, settles in his shoulder, his side, his head. His mouth is dry, and he sees a full glass of water next to him, two white pills. He couldn’t remember you leaving that morning, but it had to have been you who left them there. Who else would it have been? Without thinking, he indulges. 

There’s a note scrawled on a scrap of paper underneath the pills. He picks it up with his free arm, the other one still wrapped in a sling. 

– Take pain meds

– Ice shoulder, eye, temple, ankle

– Change dressing

– LEAVE

The last word is underlined twice. He exhales, letting his head drop back against the pillows, until it snaps to attention….you’re still outside, but your voice has gotten louder, more animated. You’re talking to someone….no…..you’re raising your voice at someone. He can’t make it out through the door, and for all the bad things he could say based on the nature of your relationship, he knows that you don’t often lose your temper. 

‘I think you should leave,’ he catches the end of what you’re saying and is immediately jolted out of the fog of discomfort, leaving your note on the bedside table.

He’s crosses the room, ignoring the protest of pain from his ankle, hears a man’s voice respond, but just a snippet – ‘stupid fucking bitch’ – and he’s throwing open the door, nearly trampling you, since you’re pressed against the threshold with your arms around your backpack, eyes wide. 

When Joel follows your gaze, he spots a man about your age standing a few feet away, chest puffed out and chin up. 

“Joel,” you say, and he’s taken aback by your tone – relief. He’s never heard you say his name like that. Somewhere, in a small part of his brain he doesn’t want to acknowledge, he thinks he might like to hear you say it again. 

“You didn’t tell me you had a boyfriend,” the guy tilts his head back to look up at Joel, giving him a once over, and steps backward in consideration. 

Instead of correcting him, you say nothing. 

“What’s going on here?” Joel asks, and you lower your arms, move your shoulders back, standing up straighter as you turn to look at him.

“Ben was just leaving,” you say. 

“Sounds like a good idea,” Joel answers. His hand instinctively comes to rest on your shoulder – reverent, protective. He knows he’s in no shape to get into a fight right now, but he’s significantly larger than the other man, and figures that alone will be enough of a deterrent.

Ben notices, and nose curls into a snarl, rolling his eyes. “Fine, whatever. He’s like…old enough to be your dad,” he mumbles under his breath.

You don’t answer, just stare with contempt as he retreats down the hallway. Once Ben has turned the corner, you step into your place, Joel’s hand falling from your shoulder. 

“Who was that?”

“Just some guy from work,” you say, sounding uninterested, dropping your backpack onto your kitchen table.

“How often does he–?”

“Let’s not get into it,” you shake your head as you pull open the curtains, sunlight casting warmth all over the room, specks of dust glittering in the air. But he wants to know more. He’s tried to ignore all the suffering that isn’t his own since the world went to shit, but he’s at least aware of how dangerous it is to be a woman, living on her own.

“I didn’t think you’d still be here, did you sleep all day?” 

Joel doesn’t answer.

“You probably needed it.”

You disappear into the bathroom, and Joel sees a rush of light through that door, the creak of a window opening. “I brought the antibiotics, they’re in my bag,” you say when you exit, hands on your hips. “You’re not feeling feverish, are you?”

Joel shakes his head no, and sits back down on the bed. 

“Well that’s good,” you go to the counter. “Hey, if you need to shower here, it’s probably better because I can dress your wound before you go. I was actually thinking today about how you would definitely fuck it up if you tried to do it youself.”

He rolls his eyes at the insult, but answers. “That’s fine.”

You’re making yourself something to eat. He notices a polaroid on your bedside table. It’s two kids – a girl and a younger boy, her arms around him – their lips curled into identical smiles. When he looks closer, he realizes the girl is you. 

Please? My brother is sick, he’s in a lot of pain, you had said, on your knees in front of him, swallowing hard. Your fingers were curled in his belt loops, the cold steel button of his jeans pressed into your chin, so close he thought it might leave a permanent mark. In one of your hands was a wad of credits, only a couple short of what he’d asked you for in exchange for the pills. I’ll do anything you want me to.

Of course he wanted you, how could he not? He wondered if you knew that already, and were just trying to take advantage of his weakness. Or maybe you were just that desperate. It didn’t matter either way. He can’t do it. Not like this, he thought. 

No, is his answer.

He stepped backwards, away and you still tried to cling to him. Sensing his reluctance, you continued to talk.  Joel, whatever you want. I’ll do whatever, please…it’s nothing. Eventually, he slipped from your grasp, and you fell back to your heels. He left you there, and he didn’t look back.

The memory is burned into his brain, and has followed him to sleep more times than he’d be willing to admit. He swallows hard, and you’re standing in front of him with an opened jar of applesauce and a spoon against your lips. “Are you looking through my shit?” you ask. 

“It was sitting out.” 

You snatch the photo from his hand so quickly that one of your nails knicks his thumb, shoving it in your back pocket and jerking your head towards the bathroom. “Hurry, I can’t be up late like last night.”

The shower feels nice, even if the pressure is shit and the water is cold. He still has blood caked under his fingernails that he can’t seem to fully eradicate even after scrubbing them against his palms. He slips back into his jeans when he’s done, and he notices a clean shirt has been left on the bed when he exits. 

“You done?” your voice calls. There’s the sound of a book snapping shut, your weight shifting on the couch. “I want my bed back.”

Joel grunts an affirmation, and you round the corner with the tin of medical supplies from the night before, discarding what you were reading on the foot of the bed. “This’ll take two minutes. Let me see.” Pausing in front of him, you press your fingers, a little experimentally, along his ribs, peering closer to examine your work. “Oh, this looks good. It should heal nicely.”

“It doesn’t feel good.”

“Uh-huh, but it’ll get better. Give it time.”

He sits down while you shimmy out of your flannel shirt. You begin to work, quietly, quickly, and at first, he tries to look away, at the top of the bedside table where you’ve placed a bag of antibiotics and a fresh glass of water. The note that was there earlier, with instructions on how to take care of himself in your absence, that also told him to LEAVE, is gone. He gives in and turns back to you, knelt between his legs like it’s nothing, pressing an adhesive bandage across the wound. 

He’s not sure why he had expected you to be cruel. You should be cruel, he knows that, but you aren’t. Your touch is confident, firm, and surprisingly tender. It must be muscle memory, he thinks, because he’s never known you to be sweet. Maybe he hadn’t been paying close enough attention.

“There,” you say, pulling away. “Now, I’d recommend changing that once a day at least, if you can. Take an antibiotic once a day, and make sure you do the full course. Ice your elbow, eye, ankle, all that every couple hours. Also, you should really use a sling for at least a month-”

“No.” He knows he won’t do any of those things, can’t really afford to between work, life, and resources.

“Suit yourself.”

“I will.”

You don’t scoff or roll your eyes at him or try to convince him why he should, and it’s like a peace offering. I could fight you on this, because I’m smart, but I won’t. It’s everything you’re saying, but you’re silent, and you sit on the edge of your bed a foot or two away, poking your fingers into the laces of your boots, untying them. 

“I’m sorry.”

Joel says it before he can stop himself. He can’t remember the last time he’s said those two words.

You balk at him. “For what?” 

Everything. “Your brother.”

“Oh,” you say, focusing back on your feet, pulling them out of your boots and pressing your thumbs into each arch. You shrug, shake your head.  “Yeah, well….I’m just glad he’s not in pain anymore.” 

“Yeah.”

“...And at least it wasn’t….you know…” The infection. 

He nods, takes a beat.

“I should get going,” Joel says, his hands on his knees. “The next time you need something-” 

“Uh-huh,” you cut him off tersely. “Right.”

“All I’m saying is that I owe you one.”

“You really think I believe that, coming from you?” You snort, shake your head, and reach to pat his leg in a patronizing way, until his hand lands atop your own. He thinks it might make him feel better, to see if your reaction to his touch gives anything away. But it doesn’t. Everything about you is rigid, cool. 

“I’m sorry….about that night,” he decides, purposely changing the subject. “But I don’t make exceptions.”

“Right. Then, I guess I’m a fool for doing this,” you gesture towards him, with your free hand - all the work you’d done. 

Joel shakes his head no, fingers tightening around your hand, clasping it hard. He’s sure, or at least he hopes, somehow, you can see it. That this isn’t a jab, that he means it. 

I’m sorry. 

You look down at where his hand is squeezing yours, and he watches your throat work once. 

“No,” he begins. “You just have every reason to hate me.”

A wistful smile crosses your face, but it’s hard to decipher what it means. To him, you’re still unreadable, even staring right at him. Most people avoid Joel’s eyes at all costs, but not you. You slide your hand out from underneath his, and he thinks for a second you’re going to retaliate. His body is facing yours, his hair is still damp, dripping onto his bare skin. It doesn’t stop you from placing your hands on either one of his shoulders, and learning forward. 

The white tank top you’re wearing clings to every curve of your body, except where it’s shifted off your shoulder, revealing a black bra strap. It’s intoxicating to have you this close. You must be able to hear the way his heart picks up, thuds heavy against his ribs, being so close to him.

“You think I hate you…” you say quietly, voice a low murmur, tilting your head, studying him. “That’s why you want me, isn’t it?”

This is why he’s never liked you. That uncanny ability to stare right through him, crack open the camera, spool out the film. 

“Isn’t it?” you prompt, when all he can offer is silence.

Of course it is. It is always easier when hate is involved. Hate bolds the blurry lines, boils everything down to its simplest point – that’s all that this would be, just two people trying to escape, if only for a little bit. And you, he’s sure, would make it so easy. 

“Yes,” he answers, though he’s not sure if he believes it. In this case, hate is just another medium to channel energy through. Passionate energy. True hate, maybe, would be your indifference. And neither of you are indifferent.

“Well….” you lean forward, your lips are nearly touching. He’s still frozen. “Maybe I do hate you.”

It’s a beat before anything happens, a few seconds of uninterrupted eye contact, your eyes have darkened, pupils wide. 

He pounces on you, ignoring the scream of soreness through his body as he cups both sides of your face, his tongue already scraping on your teeth, swallowing the surprised noise you make, which he finds ridiculous because what did you think was going to happen, talking to him like that?

But you can’t be that shocked, because your arms have tightened around his shoulders, you’re pulling him closer, he’s pulling you closer. A tightrope, about to snap. 

He wraps himself around you protectively, you feel so small there, he’s aware how easily he could break you, but he won’t. Or at least…he’ll try not to. 

You break away first. “Fuck.”

Your lips are full, wet, flush, parted, and you’re panting. He pulls you back against him, and you oblige, much more pliant this time, letting him claim you. Two sets of hands fumbling for purchase. 

“I do want you.”

“Then have me.”

He pulls you onto his lap, still sitting on the edge of the bed, and it’s shameful how easily you move there, settle your weight across his hips. You’re warm, so warm…too warm. His skin pricks.

Your hands thread into his hair and tug, it’s heavenly. He’s not used to being touched like this.. Grinding down, you find him already already rock hard – he has been since you were knelt in front of him cleaning his stitches, but he’d been trying to ignore it – and he moans. “You like that?” 

He hums into your mouth, agreeable. Yes. 

Joel wants to touch you, won’t be satisfied if he can’t, and he tugs at the hem of your shirt. You pull back, just for a split second to pull it over your head. It takes him a moment, but he still remembers how to unclasp a bra with one hand, and you’re bare before him. All he has to do is run a calloused palm up your spine and you’re arching your body closer, until he can mouth at your breasts. 

You sigh as he cups, squeezes, pinches. Latches onto one of your nipples and grazes his teeth over it, watching you closely….your eyes closed, head falling back, murmuring. Yes.

What he wants to do is to lift you up, spin you around, and press your back against the mattress. He wants to spread you open across the bed, put his head between your thighs and lave at you like a man starved. He wants to hear every way you can cry, moan, whimper his name as his tongue works your clit, fingers in your cunt, washing over him. Of course, he’d go gentle at first – not too gentle – but gentle enough, work you up. He wants to dangle you over the ledge, hold you there until you’re begging to be let go. And after you finally come, pulsing around his fingers, he’d wrap your legs around his hips and fuck you into the mattress until you do it again. After the first time, he thinks, it’d be even easier to get you to do it again. And again. Would you face his steely gaze head on, eyes fluttering? Would your nails scrape track marks down his back? Would you stifle a moan by sinking your teeth into the pulse point on his neck? He wants to- no, needs to know.

But he’s weak right now, and can’t do any of that. He’ll settle for what he can get.

Your fingers are twisting the button on his pants. “Come on,” you murmur. 

“You shouldn’t want me,” he warns.

“I know.” But I still do.

Your hand is down his pants, and he shifts his weight backwards to wiggle further out of them. It’s far more hurried than either of you deserve. You don’t even attempt to tease him through his boxers first, your hand wrapping around him in one swift and confident movement. 

Hissing, Joel sees you duck your head, feels the press your lips against his neck, his cock jumping in your grip as you run your thumb over the head, pump him once.

“You’re so big,” your voice is all breathy and soft, the sound of it has him growing even more frantic. He tugs at the loops on the side of your jeans. 

“Take these off.”

Yes. There’s no protest.

It’s torture when you leave his lap, for the brief time you do, his gaze tracing the curve of your ass as you wriggle out of your pants, then your panties, and when your return to him, he holds you closer.

“I knew you’d be so fucking good for me.”

“Did you?” It's playful, breathless, your arms around his neck. The lightest he’s ever heard you. 

You’re wet, already dripping onto him, and he dips a finger between your thighs, sliding it through your slickness, dipping into you just so, enjoying the noises you make before withdrawing. It’s a shame he can’t take his time. He’s too impatient. One of his hands he uses to guide his cock to your cunt, and the other he uses to steady your hips. His head drops to watch himself sink into you. 

The stretch of him inside you makes your toes curl, you’re already pulsing around him and he hasn’t even given you everything.

“Fuck,” Joel whispers your name when he feels you around him, all-encompassing and overwhelming. “So fucking good.”

You’re whining, but it’s unintelligible, your head bobbing into an enthusiastic nod, teeth snagging your lower lip. When he’s reached the hilt, you pause only for a moment before you begin to move on your own accord. Experimental rolls of your hips, not drawing back far at all, keeping him deep inside you, rutting and writhing with no reprieve. He thinks he might come right then and there, it’s been so long, and it’s you. This young, pretty thing who – if this whole fucking world hadn’t gone to shit – wouldn’t have looked twice at him before. It’s just another injustice – that you’re going to let someone like him ruin you.

You begin to bounce on him, dragging yourself along his length. “That’s a good fucking girl,” he groans. “Just like that.” 

“It’s so…fuck, Joel, you feel-”

“I know.” He answers, partially in agreement, and partially to shut you up. If you keep saying his name like that, it’s not going to end well. 

He tries as best as he can to answer your hips with ruts of his own, but it’s sloppy, erratic. The whole thing is, and he wants to curse himself because it really shouldn’t be, just like he shouldn’t be thinking about what he’ll do differently next time. 

It’s the first time he’s been with you, so he doesn’t know what it feels like when you’re getting close, but you’re throbbing and pulsing around him, your breathy pants and soft sighs start sounding more desperate. 

You’re so fucking wet he can hear it, can feel it seeping out, dripping down his balls onto the mattress. He realizes one of his hands is just clenched into a fist, nails digging into his palm, trying his hardest not to come before you do. All he wants is to give you something, a chance to make up for everything that he’s taken.

“More,” you murmur, you don’t even seem to remember, or care, that he’s hurt. That you’d spent hours the night before after he’d been torn apart, putting him back together. “More, please.” 

His lips quirk into a boyish smile, something you’ve never seen before. He likes you like this, begging, desperate, sweet. “Don’t laugh,” but your lips are quirking, too, and you fucking nuzzle against his beard to hide it.

“I’m not - fuck.”

The shower was useless, he’s already sweating again, but so are you, and he trails his tongue across your neck to taste it, then unclenches his fist, moving it between your legs. He takes your clit between his knuckles, circling it carefully, steadily, while his cock keeps hitting the same, soft spot over and over again. 

You can’t get enough. “Harder, Joel…please.”

Of course, he obliges. And he’s lucky, because he doesn’t have to do much more. You slow, legs shaking, and you’re suddenly so tight around him he can’t move. “That’s it, baby, come on, so fucking good…” he would, is, saying anything to feel you. His name is a mewl on your lips, the rubber-band snaps, and you come around him, pressing every part of yourself against the hard line of his torso. He aches, it’s the sweetest torture he’s ever known. 

He knows, because he’s going to fuck you through it, has to, that he will not last any longer. 

“Where?” he pants, and you’re still peaking, gasping, grabbing. 

“Inside me,” you answer. “Please, inside me.”

He’s too lost in the moment to consider the consequences. Doesn’t care about them at all. When he comes, you groan at the feeling of him fucking you full, cunt still squeezing him, not as tightly as before, but still apparent.

The last bit of arousal is still waning, and he leans back to lie on the bed, pulling you with him. You fall to his chest, hands pressing lightly to adjust your position, suddenly aware again of the wound beneath his ribs, the bruises on his shoulder, settling so you’re pressed against his side, his arm still loose around your waist.

Neither of you say anything for a long time, and he notices your legs are trembling. 

We shouldn’t have done that, he wants you to say, as you should. But you show no signs of remorse.

Before all this, when he was a different man, he would’ve helped clean you up after. He would have soothed you in the aftermath; stroked your hair, peppered kisses along your neck, your cheeks, pulled you close so you could fall asleep in his arms. He can’t now, because you’re smart and you’d know what it means, but the guilt gnaws at him. 

When you sit up, pulling your shirt back over your head, sliding on your panties, and walking towards the bathroom, he imagines you think you’re doing him a favor. You are, in a way. Or maybe, you’re resisting the same impulse that he is.

You return a few minutes later, wrapped in a tattered robe, and climb next to him on the bed, propping yourself up on your elbows, then looking down at him. Between the combination of being tired, stiff, and fucked-out, he still hasn’t moved. 

“Don’t you think Tess is worried about where you are?” You bend your knees back and cross your ankles. 

“She knows I can take care of myself.”

Your eyebrow quirks. Can you? Joel turns away and stares up at the water-damaged ceiling panels.

“You should probably go.” 

His head snaps back towards you. He thinks of every person over the last twenty years he’d said the equivalent to after sex, and wonders if it made them feel as nauseous as he does hearing those words from your mouth.

The feeling fades – only a little – when you reach over to press your palm to the side of his face, cupping his cheek, before tenderly moving a piece of damp hair off his forehead, nails scraping against his scalp.

He lets his eyes close just for a beat, before nodding and sitting up. “Thank you,” he says, and he’s not sure what for. All of it, he supposes.

“Uh-huh,” you roll over, reaching to grab your book that had fallen to the floor at some point during your coupling, while he pulls on his clothes, laces up his boots, and takes the antibiotics from your bedside table.

Joel takes one last look at you, already engrossed in your reading, and then walks to the door.

“You know where to find me, if you need anything.”

You look up, nod, and he’s gone.

— — — — — —

part ii

[wanderersbell]

when he lets you wear his hat

wanderer x gn!reader

genre: fluff

warnings: dark humor (just in the beginning)

word count: 1168

a/n: i am a firm believer that scara loves dark humor yes i might be projecting but nobody can change my mind ( ˘ ³˘)♥ enjoy!

your unwavering patience is something you’ve always taken pride in. 

there have only been a few instances where you’ve lost your cool in the fleeting years of your life, always feeling a certain kind of superiority in situations where you can hold your own even if it would be reasonable to let go for a moment. 

but now, after weeks of nonstop backhanded comments and complaints from your traveling companion, it is through sheer willpower alone that you haven’t turned around and tried to bite his head off every time he opens his mouth. 

“you seriously can’t swim?” the wanderer asks from somewhere behind you. “didn’t you ever have fun as a kid?”

you bite the inside of your cheek and keep up your brisk pace while he snickers to himself like it truly is the funniest thing in the world. the unforgiving desert sun is hot against your back and the fine grains of sand that keep finding their way into your shoes feel like they’re rubbing your skin raw, leaving you sweaty and miserable. 

the one traveling with you doesn’t share these sentiments, hardly even taking notice to uncomfortable sensations anymore, and thus remains entirely unbothered, much to your annoyance. 

he almost seemed understanding at first, suggesting you take a dip in a nearby oasis to cool off before you overheat, but one insignificant mention of your swimming skills, or lack thereof, had turned into him making fun of you for it before you could even begin to regret bringing it up. 

the wanderer doesn’t relent even when you keep ignoring him. “surely it’s not because you’re afraid, right? what’s so scary about water?” 

“quit it.” you warn him sharply, gritting your teeth so hard your jaw begins to ache. of course, you’re already expecting him to do the opposite. 

“wait, don’t tell me.” he starts, jogging a bit to catch up to you. “nobody bothered to teach you? mom just too busy to make time for you?”

this has you freezing in your tracks, coming to a halt beside him, and before you can even process the thought going through your head-

“at least i actually had one.”

the silence that follows is deafening as you snap your head up to stare at him, his expression of shock mirroring your own. guilt starts twisting around in your stomach as soon as the words leave your mouth, but the joyous laughter that erupts out of your traveling companion the next second chases it away as he hunches over and cackles.  

“that was incredible,” he gasps out. 

you narrow your eyes at the sight but you can’t help the smile that starts tugging at your lips seeing him thrown into such a genuine fit of giggles, the sound melodic and tugging at your heartstrings. “why are you laughing?”

he lifts an arm to wipe the sweat off of his forehead as he starts to calm down, leaving you with a bundle of conflicting emotions tangled together in your chest. 

“i never thought you had it in you.” he explains, sounding almost… proud? there’s an undeniable glow of satisfaction on his face, and it’s only then that you realize, this entire time, his goal was to get you to play along. 

“looks like you really can teach an old dog new tricks,” the wanderer shrugs, his usual shit-eating smirk returning to his lips. 

“i- wha?” you sputter incredulously. “haven’t you been around for centuries? and you’re calling me old?”

he makes a noncommittal sort of hum as you two start walking again. a comfortable silence falls over you both, the man beside you finally silent after getting what he wanted out of you. however, the heat isn’t any less forgiving than it was moments prior so your pace inevitably slows until you’re forced to stop and lean down to rest your hands on your knees, each inhale of hot air offering absolutely no relief. 

when he realizes you stopped walking and turns around to send you an unimpressed look it’s quickly replaced by poorly masked concern that shows in the furrow of his brows and the tight line of his lips. it’s only then that he remembers the bottle he watched you pack earlier that morning. 

“drink,” he says as he reaches into your bag and pulls out a full flask of water. you grab it from him gratefully and can’t help the sigh you release at the coolness of the liquid from being inside of a metal container. 

the wanderer watches you wordlessly as you twist the cap back on and turn to put it back in your bag, and the second you look away the feeling of something being placed on your head as well as suddenly being enveloped in the shade catches you by surprise. when you whip around to meet his gaze he avoids yours and walks a few steps ahead, arms crossed and hat mysteriously missing. 

when it clicks, your jaw drops a fraction and you reach up to slide your fingers along the gold metal leaves, finding them hot to the touch from the scorching sun. 

the wanderer never lets you touch his hat. not even as his trusted companion. every time you’ve tried in the past, he’s quick to step out of your way or slap your hand back whenever he sees you going for it. there’s a sparkle of joy in your eyes when he peeks out of the corner of his to take in your reaction and scoffs when he sees the awe on your face. 

“come on, let’s keep moving.” he huffs, tone sounding irritated. 

unused to the weight of the wide hat balanced on your head, you catch up to him on wobbly feet, one hand still holding onto the rim so it won’t tip off. how the wanderer manages to jump around and run without it sliding everywhere is beyond you, because it feels like it could fall off at any moment. 

this does not go unnoticed to the man next to you, but you’re too busy trying to stand straight and walk without tilting too much, so you’re not prepared for the gust of wind he flicks at you that tips the hat up and off, saved from falling to the ground only by his hand that shoots out to grab it and put it back the way it was before. 

“hey!” you pout indignantly, sending him a look of annoyance. when your meet eyes meet his, his vibrant indigo irises are swimming with mirthful contentment, and a small smile rests easily on his face. it’s not an expression you get see on him that often, but like always, it causes pitiful flutters in your chest. 

your frown softens despite yourself and you avert your gaze to the horizon where the sun hangs high in the sky, feeling thankful that you can just blame the flush staining your cheeks on the heat if he points it out. 

what a truly insufferable travel companion you have. 

[ya-zz]

Can I request some headcanons with Cassidy, Hanzo and Reaper? Of them holding their newborn baby for the first time? The baby fever is going crazy feral for me rn

I thought I would've gotten to this sooner, but hello, it is finally here!

This was such a cute concept and I'm really glad I got to do this and to finish it! Thank you for the patience ♥

CASSIDY

He panicked when you mentioned you were going into labour, words fumbling out his mouth in incoherent sentences that made you question whether or not he was okay.

He was there with you the entire time you were giving birth, holding your hand, moving the stuck hair from your face, wiping the sweat off of your forehead.

He never once let go of you, wanting nothing more than to soothe you throughout the entire process. 

When the moment arrived, a screaming and crying baby in the nurses hands, Cassidy immediately felt the relief run through him. 

“I am proud of you, honey.” 

“You’re okay. Everything is fine.” 

When the nurses eventually handed the small infant over to you, he witnessed your features getting soft, tears pricking your eyes once more. They weren’t painful tears, but rather tears of love. 

The baby continued to cry for a minute or two longer as the conversation around the room continued.

Cassidy sat on the edge of the bed, hand still holding yours, watching you as you admired the soft bundle in your arms

When you turned to him with a smile on your face and asked if he wanted to hold his child, his heart almost stopped. 

He had felt overwhelmed before, but this time it felt different. 

His child was in his arms, bundled up in a soft blanket.

The cries had stopped, soft noises being made and when their eyes opened, looking at the cowboy, Cassidy felt the entire room spin. 

Finally, another reason to fall in love all over again.

HANZO

Hanzo was careful throughout every stage of the pregnancy. He’d listen to you, and get you everything and anything had wanted and needed. 

The moment Hanzo saw you grimace in pain, he knew exactly what was coming.

He was quick on his feet to get you over to medbay, hand never leaving yours as he helped you settle onto the bed.

The entire time he would whisper to you, sweet little words and praises to flood your mind and to take it off of the pain you were experiencing. 

“Stay calm, sweetheart.”

“My love… You are doing amazingly.”

He would keep his fingers laced with yours all throughout the birth of your child. 

The moment that new life was brought into the world, your hand squeezed your partners hand tightly, the relief flooding through your body.

His heart fluttered as the nurses brought the newborn over to you and him. 

Every emotion was heightened when he saw you hold the small bundle and when you offered for him to hold the baby, his eyes widened. 

His hands were gentle as he took the bundle to his chest, gently rocking his arms. 

He was almost a natural, and when the cries calmed down, he chuckled. 

Hanzo saw the pride within your face as you turned to look at him. The love for you and his child was overflowing.

The archer had another reason to keep fighting. To keep living.

REAPER

Everything changed rather quickly the moment you became pregnant.

The cold demeanour was suddenly calm and caring, something of which was what you needed during the pregnancy. 

When labour came around and pain was surging, Reyes moved fast, carrying you to the medbay.

He was worried and rightly so as you cried out in pain. 

Reyes kept his hand on your forehead, soothing what pained emotions you were receiving and letting out. 

Your body was on fire for your partner did what he could to make sure you were pain-free as possible.

“Stay calm, You’re doing good.”

“Almost there, don’t worry, you’re doing well.”

He listened to your cries and it pained him, but the moment that it fell silent and another cry was heard, Reyes felt warm.

His heart felt bigger as he watched you hold your newborn baby.

Tears spilled from your eyes, Reyes moved his hand to cup your cheek, thumb caressing the warm and damp flesh.

When you held out your newborn to your partner, he hesitated, but his arms opened up and accepted the small bundle of newborn joy.

His eyes softened and he smiled, a genuine smile that made your own heart flutter with joy. 

Reyes was happy. He was in love. 

[vroomvroommuppett]

two

lando norris x ex vettel!reader, max verstappen x vettel!reader

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blakelyvettel

liked by mickschumacher, francesca.cgomez, and others

blakelyvettel "happier than ever" out now ❤

fan1 she really said "imma surprise them"

carmenmmundt YES BLAKELY

sebastianvettel Proud of you, sweetie.

maxfewtrell Target has been reached. Thank you for your service.

fan2 SHUT UP

maxverstappen1 Simply lovely.

charles_leclerc YESSSSSS

mickschumacher THATS MY MOM

liamlawson30 She's mine. logansargeant Back off she's mine oscarpiastri No she's mine. mickschumacher Nuh uh! blakelyvettel you're all my children logansargeant Then who's your favorite? blakelyvettel i love all you equally. lewishamilton It's Mick. blakelyvettel SIR LEWIS CARL DAVIDSON HAMILTON mickschumacher HAHAHHA TAKE THAT

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blakelyvettel

liked by lewishamilton, yukitsinoda0511, and others

blakelyvettel gina decided to take me to a drive through safari. never again @/ginaschumacher (blakely is on the left)

carlossainz55 oH mY gOd YoUrE sO pReEtY aNd BiG

ginaschumacher Sorry B.

logansargeant 🤣🤣🤣

charles_leclerc Dead.

georgerussel63 Who knew B got scared?

blakelyvettel theY WERE LARGER THAN I THOUGHT, OK?! georgerussel63 Scaredy cat. blakelyvettel Shut up.

maxverstappen1 You don't have that reaction with Jimmy and Sassy

blakelyvettel that's cause they're small animals, not big ass ones, maxie fan1 why do i lowkey ship blakley and max? fan2 same

carmenmmundt This is amazing.

francescac.gomez 💀

alexandrastlmeux I can't.

oscarpiastri So I take it you wouldn't want to pet a kangaroo?

blakelyvettel maybe

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@barnestatic @daemyratwst @obsessed-fan-alert @boiohboii @dark-night-sky-99 @jointhehunt67 @nichmeddar @poppyflower-22 @lieswithoutfairytales @claudiajacobs

[coichii]

CLEATS - HYUNJIN

pairing - fiancé!hyunjin ♥︎ professional soccer player!fem!reader

genre: injuryfic, angst, fluff, and comfort

word count: 2.0k

warnings: cursing

A/N: i really like how this story ended up, so please let me know what you think !! also I’ve never played soccer a day in my life…so

You can hear the cheers and roars of the crowd outside, giving you that feeling you’ve had since the first time you stepped on that field.

Undeniable excitement.

It was the first playoff game of the season, multiple championship titles were on the line. As one of the key players of your team, the pressure was on to give the best performances ever.

The feeling made your heart soar with pride, but also made your body tremble in fear. The thought of letting the ball slip right past your feet, or aiming right where the goalkeeper can block it, had you sweating bullets.

However, the game had to go on no matter what. So with a shaky breath, you were stepping out onto the field with the rest of your team, the cheers getting astronomically louder.

You’re face to face with the opposing team now, a rival team at that. They had practically kicked your ass last year. 2-6. It was embarrassing. You hadn’t cried that much over a game ever.

Your boyfriend, now fiancé, Hyunjin, practically had to bring you back to life. All the hate from your “fans” and media got to you bad, and he was scared. He had never seen you like that before. So vulnerable. So broken. You never wanted him to see you like that again.

So you silently vowed to not let that happen ever again as your captain called heads for the coin toss. The referee called out her choice and threw the coin up, the arena was silent.

“Heads! Home team gets the ball.” The referee announces, and the crowd goes wild. Your heart beat relaxes back to normal as you take position on the field.

Focus y/n. Focus. Focus. Foc-

A sharp whistle cuts through your head as the ball is kicked onto the field. Your head is completely locked into the game. Every movement feels dynamic and calculated. You feel as if you can see everyone’s moves clearly, and it feels good.

Block. Run. Run. Pass. Block. It all feels so clear.

Now it’s halftime, and you couldn’t be more excited than you were right now.

The score was 3-1, your team. You were drenched in sticky sweat, but you couldn’t care less. You wanted payback for what happened last year, and you were going to get it no mater what.

During the fifteen minute break, which you swear goes by way faster than it sounds, you receive a text from your fiancé with a small “ding!”

—

new message from “Hyune!💍”

Hyune!💍: I’m watching right now.

Hyune!💍: You’re doing so good, my love.

Hyune!💍: I’m so proud of you.

You: Thank you so much baby!

You: I thought it would be really hard to face them, yk, after what happened last time

You: But the fans have been very supportive!!! And so have you.

Hyune!💍: Everybody loves you baby, told you so.

Hyune!💍: I’m sorry but I won’t be able to watch the rest of the game :( I’m super busy! But I’ll text you right after.

You: Ok :) it’s fine. They’re calling us back on. Ttyl!

Hyune!💍: Love you, ttyl <3

—

The conversation makes you smile, but that can only last for so long. You need to get back in the game as you step back onto the field.

This time, you’re able to admire the the stands filled to the brim with fans. Team colors flying everywhere, some fans even adorning a jersey with the same number you wore. That always made you feel warm and fuzzy inside, so you wish you could think about it longer.

But another whistle blows through your mind, and it’s the same situation as before.

Block. Run. Run. Pass. Blo-

All of a sudden, the silhouette of a player on the opposing team is coming out of nowhere. They ran into you clean, not even looking at where they were going.

You’re knocked back far, hearing the distant oohs and ahhs of the crowd in the background, but you couldn’t care less. You couldn’t even focus on it, because all you could focus on is the splitting pain coming from your knee.

The pain is so heavy it makes your head reel. Flags go flying in the distance, or atleast you think they do; your sight is dizzy and blurred from when you hit your head on the hard, artificial grass, so you can’t really tell.

Immediately, your teamates are rushing over to you as they scream and call for the coach and medical team to come check on you, concern inadvertently evident on their face.

“Y/n! Are you okay? That was a really bad hit.” Your captains voice cuts through the ringing in your ears. “Y/n?”

“No. No I’m not. My knee hurts so fucking bad.” You weep as tears spring to your eyes.

No, don’t cry y/n. You don’t want the media to react the way they did last time, do you?

The medical team made its way over to you by now as the crowds surprise quickly dies down to hushed whispers.

They examine rather quick that you can’t finish the rest of the game, or even walk for that matter. They lift you onto the stretcher swiftly and precisely, but it still hurts like a bitch.

You’re transported to the hospital soon after that, teammates wishing you their goodbyes as you’re carted away. To say you feel pathetic would be an understatement. You feel terrible, guilty, and embarrassed all at the same time.

◂—♥︎—▸

“Well Ms. Y/N, you’ve seem to have torn your achilles. It’s safe to say you won’t be playing anymore games for the rest of the season.“ The doctor announces flatly, as if it was the easiest thing ever. But to you, it was completely different. It was earth shattering.

You sat there in silence as even more tears cascaded down your cheeks, the doctor muttering a small, useless sorry as he walked out.

I’m so dumb. How did I not see them? Now my seasons over. I let my whole damn team down. I should just-

“Y/N! Oh my god y/n. I saw what happened on tv and I came running. Are you okay? What hurts? What can I d-” He rambles, stopping when your tears come into his view.

“Oh baby.” He pouts as he envelopes you in a tight hug, and the tears fall even harder than they had been.

Your tears soak his hoodie, but he couldn’t care less. He just wants to comfort you, and he’ll do what he has to do to make that happen.

“I-I’m sorry. I let you down. I let my whole fucking t-team down.” You sob, pushing your head impossibly farther into the crook of his neck.

“Shhh. No you didn’t, angel. You could never ever let me down. I’m so proud of you. More than you’ll ever know. And I’m sure your team understands, it could’ve happened to anyone, baby.” He consoles, and it’s working a little bit. Your breath is evening out slowly but surely, and tears are still flowing down your eyes, just not as aggressively.

“I tore my achilles, Hyune. My whole seasons over. All because I made a dumb mistake. I wasn’t paying attention, and now I’m gone. I’m so usele-“ But he’s cutting you off.

“Y/N, baby, you are no where near useless, you hear me? I’m so so sorry you tore your achilles, love. I know that must be so painful. But don’t you dare blame yourself. That girl fouled you, and she was thrown off for the rest of the game too. You can’t blame yourself for something that absolutely wasn’t your fault.” His voice sounding a little more angry at the thought of someone fouling you. “You were fouled, angel. That isn’t and will never be your fault.”

You allow his words to soak in, coating the insecurities swirl in through your mind with a warmth that could never be matched.

The door creaking open interrupts the moment, a random doctor you hadn’t seen before and your team’s health advisor walking through.

“Y/N, we’re going to have to perform surgery soon to make sure the injury heals well.” Your advisor says, and your heart drops.

“S-surgery? I didn’t know I would have to get surgery.” You stutter, and Hyunjin can practically feel the fear coursing through your veins.

“The surgery isn’t very invasive, don’t worry. It shouldn’t take more than two and a half hours and you’ll be unconscious. If it goes smoothly, we should have you out here by today.” The doctor reassures. Her words bringing you some since of comfort, but you’re not all that convinced.

“Don’t worry baby, I’ll be here for you when you get out of surgery and I’ll take care of you well. You’ll be fine, I promise you.” He kisses your hand as he says this, knowing how it makes you feel fuzzy inside.

“Ok. I’ll do it.”

◂—♥︎—▸

You feel dizzy as you slowly wake up from your drug induced daze. The surgery had gone smoothly and just as he had promised, he was still waiting there for you in the hospital despite his hefty work schedule.

“Welcome back, angel.” He whispers gently, kissing you right between your temples. You look over at him, your vision still a little blurry as he calmly strokes your cheek, warm hands bringing you comfort.

“Mhm. Can we leave the hospital now?” You ask. In the back of your mind, you’re wondering if your team won, but that’s pushed back even farther as Hyunjin’s strong arms envelop you in a tight hug. He always knows just what to do keep you with him.

“Yeah, there’s just a little paperwork to fill out and we’ll be out of here.” And you hum in response. “Oh yeah, your health advisor said you would need to be completely off of your leg for a while, so I took a week off of work to help you.”

“What?!” You exclaim. “A whole week? Hyune, are you sure? I don’t want to distract you from your work. I know your schedules are so busy baby, and you’re missing some recordings too.”

“Shh. Don’t worry, it’s already taken care of so there’s no point in worrying about it. Plus, I want to take care of you, what kind of future husband would I be if I didn’t.” He assures, cracking a smile.

“Are you sure? It’s really ok.” You tremble, but it’s almost fabricated worry. You want him to take care of you; it feels really nice when he does.

“I’m positive. Cmon, let’s go baby.”

◂—♥︎—▸

“I think I can ice my own knee, Hyune.” You giggle at the way he’s laser focused on making sure he’s applying the proper amount of pressure.

It’s been three days since the match occurred. Your team still won, thank god, and your teammates came to visit you after the match had ended.

The media was still as cruel and heartless as it always was. You couldn’t even count how many times you were called dramatic by various 12 year old boys who had never even stepped foot on a soccer field before, but it didn’t matter as much to you as it usually does. You have Hyunjin with you, so how could it ever?

“Nonsense baby, this is my job now.” He winks at you, stifling a smile to keep the joke alive, but he’s doing a horrible job.

“Jokes aside, thank you so much for these past few days Hyune. You have no idea how much it means to me.” You watch as his gaze softens at your admission. He smiles gently at you as he lets go of the bundle of ice and grabs your hands in his.

“Stop thanking me, angel. It’s what I’m here for. When I say those vows, I’m going to mean every word of it, and I’m going to prove it.

And he does.

He proves that through thick and thin, through sickness and health, he will always be there for you.

No matter what.

back to masterlist

[luveline]

hi!! i was wondering if you would write more ab spencer, r, and baby amanda from your single dad au? :o they’re so precious <3

Thank you for your request! ♥︎ fem!reader 1.6k

"How come you aren't hungover?" Spencer asks. 

You can barely hear him over the cacophony of the crowd. You're waiting for Hotch to finish his decathlon, the girls in their sunglasses, Jack and Morgan holding a homemade sign aloft. 

Amanda's sitting on the barrier with her weight against Spencer's chest, her soft brown hair splayed out against his collar like a wave. 

"I know the meaning of moderation," you say with a sweet smile. 

You might be imagining the pinking of his cheeks. "Not moderate enough, clearly," he jokes. 

JJ hadn't picked Henry up until three in the morning. Which is fine, Spencer will take Henry whenever he needs to, as per his self-ordained godfathering duties, but when JJ hadn't appeared at 11 like she'd promised, Spencer had obviously been worried. 

"Things got a little… out of control." You dip your face to his ear. "I've never seen Emily dance like that. It was crazy." 

"I wish I could've been there, but we had a date with Edward Tulane, didn't we, Amy?" 

Amanda tips her head back at her father's affectionate tone. "Daddy, I can't feel my butt." 

"Not your butt!" he says, taking her seriously but chuckling at the same time as he pulls her up and off of the barrier. With some careful manoeuvring, he's tucked Amanda into his chest, one hand held protectively over the bottom of her back. The other hooks behind her knees. 

"Is that better?" 

He speaks to her with the same fatherly fondness as always and every time you find yourself melty like butter in the summer sun. In Spencer's eyes, Amanda is the smartest, most interesting girl alive. You're tempted to agree. 

"I was worried it might be depressing for her," he says, tucking her hair behind her ear. "It's sad for a children's story, you know? But she's really interested, and it's important for kids to hear sad stories. Children who read stories with unhappy plotlines are more empathetic, and have a stronger sense of justice." He smiles at her. "Plus, I think it's her favourite so far. She asked if we could read it again, all in one go. It's gonna take hours." 

"That doesn't surprise me. I mean, she's yours. I thought you'd be reading her Tolstoy by now." 

"I'm saving Tolstoy for first grade." 

He's serious. 

Hotch runs through the finish line and the members of the BAU that are assembled cheer loudly. He doesn't seem embarrassed at all, only proud, ducking down to give Jack a sweaty hug. Then he, Jack, and his new girlfriend move away from the group. The remaining members of your team start to break away, too.

The girls all want to go home and die in their own beds. Rossi and Morgan have separate dates. You're thinking you'll go home and shoot the breeze until a more reasonable bedtime when Spencer turns to you with his usual genial smile.

"Do you want to come over? We're gonna make pasta and watch Fraggle Rock." 

Spencer's changed a lot since he became Amanda's primary caregiver, but some things stay the same. He loves doing things with other people and he'll always extend an invite if he thinks the other party might enjoy themselves. Going over for dinner feels a lot more intimate than his having an extra ticket for a foreign film festival, or late night takeout, though. 

"I don't want to impose," you say awkwardly. 

"Do you think you're an imposition?" Spencer asks in concern. 

"No, just, you know, I don't…" 

"Amy doesn't mind. Do you, sweetheart?" 

"What?" says Amanda's little voice. 

"Can Y/N come for dinner?" he asks. 

Amanda smiles, pearly white teeth and cheeks chubby with baby fat. "Yes! We're gonna make pasta and watch Fraggle Rock!" 

You laugh in delight. 

"We decided in the car," Spencer explains. 

"Here I thought you were telepathic." You direct your smile at Amanda's doe eyes. "I'd love to come for dinner. Thanks, baby." 

Spencer has the cleanest car any parent has ever had. You know he spent days choosing the safest one he could find in his budget, and even more days on a car seat. His apartment is just as clean but way more crowded, stuffed to bursting with Amanda's toys and his books. 

"I'm gonna change, do you mind?" he asks, leading you down the hall into the kitchen. Amanda had tipped half a juice box down his front, and the stickiness is clearly making him uncomfortable.

"No, by all means."

He smiles. "Stay here," he says with a feigned sternness, pointing one of his pretty fingers at Amanda. His daughter only giggles. 

You follow Spencer with your eyes as he leaves. 

"Will you take off my shoes, please?"

You look down. Amanda stares up at you, her round eyes pleading, one foot held a half inch off of the ground. 

You leap to action, and say, "Oh! Yeah, baby, no problem," as you get down on your knees. 

They're simple buckles and take all of ten seconds. Amanda holds onto your arm and lifts her feet one at a time so you can pull them off. Her small toes wiggle in her socks when she puts them back on the floor.

"Feel better?" you ask knowingly. 

"Daddy says shoes are a con-d-struct," she tells you. 

"They are!" you say, though whether you really agree might take some thought. "They're silly, huh?" 

"Yeah. If we walked with no shoes, we would have tough skin like trees!" 

"Like trees," you repeat. You love listening to little kids speak because they're so full of joy to share what they know, and Spencer Reid's kid? She is a walking book of facts. "That's so cool, did daddy tell you that?" 

"Daddy tells me everything." 

Spencer appears in a graphic t-shirt. You've only seen him dressed down through barely open hotel room doors or in photographs with Amanda. It takes a second for your brain to recognise what you're seeing. 

He's a genius, so he understands what you're doing immediately. 

"Oh no," he coos, bending down to take Amanda's shoulders into his hands. "I'm so sorry," —he kisses the top of her head— "I forgot all about your shoes. How will you ever get tree bark feet?" 

It's sweet to see how she responds to his affection. Her eyes squint closed and she smiles softly, giggling when he scratches her shoulders through her dress. 

"Thanks for releasing her, she can't stand wearing shoes when she doesn't have to," he says to you, nudging her out of the way to offer you his hand. 

You take it, letting him pull you up. He doesn't let go of you straight away, instead brushing his thumb over your fingernails, one after another. 

"I've been meaning to ask you to dinner for a while. I– I've never been any good at this part, I thought it would be harder, because Amanda's the only girl in the world I understand no matter how many books I read, and that's not going to last forever, but I…" Spencer's voice steadily quietens, until the tone he's using is dulcet, and his brows have pulled together. He's just as pretty frowning as smiling. "It feels easy, with you," he finishes. 

"Are we having macaroni?" Amanda asks. 

Spencer looks torn. "I was thinking rigatoni," he says. 

"Gross, dad." 

"Farfalle?"

"Bowties?" she questions suspiciously. 

"Is that better than rigatoni?" he asks. 

Amanda dwells on this, leaning her weight into your leg. It's an unthinking gesture that fills you with light. 

"We can't have macaroni?" 

You know from Spencer's bemused sigh alone that she's about to get her way. 

"Do you mind?" he asks you. 

Amanda pins you with a pout, raising her hands into a praying triangle. Her puppy dog eyes are killer and unnecessary. 

"Whatever you want, babe," you say hurriedly. 

She bursts off to her toys with an excited cheer. You're sorry to see her go, petrified of embracing yourself, and still majorly caught off guard by what Spencer said. He's wanted to ask you over for dinner for a long time, does that mean he likes you? And the way he'd held your hand — that's not an ambiguous affection. 

You like Spencer. All the small things that make him him, and the huge things too. His daughter, his books, his genius mind and his clumsy heart. If he likes you too, you might just combust. 

Spencer nips into the living room to put Fraggle Rock on TV. Amanda's sweet voice chases his heels, her singing a mixture of melodic gibberish and passionate recitation. 

You linger as he starts to gather what he needs for dinner. He's either not worried about what you think of his confession or trying to hide that he is, knee deep in a recount of the invention of boxed mac and cheese when you touch his elbow. 

"I know what you mean, about what you said before, I feel the same. It feels easy with you." 

You don't know what it is. But Spencer knows everything, so you aren't worried. 

He beams. His smile warps each word he says as he turns back to the saucepan he's filling with pasta. "Maybe we should get dinner without Fraggle Rock, sometime." 

"I don't know, I don't think it gets any better than this." You nod your head toward the living room, Amanda's singing an adorable echo. 

His smile grows impossibly bigger. 

"Me neither," he says.