#but realised im feeling real good.
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im gonna write.
im gonna write.
im going to write.
I. AM. GOING. TO. WRITE.
Im feeling a little bit better today. for the first time in a long time. i feel okayish. thats crazy. i actually feel.
#surreal.#im actually smiling?#its late#i feel okay#x reader#quotes#marvel#tasm!peter x reader#no way home#paul lahote x reader#originally started to write#but realised im feeling real good.#i went on a jog today#walked half of it sure#but still.#dc x reader#marvel x reader#twilight x reader
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RRRRAAAAAAAAAAAA I LOVE HIM SO......!!!!!!!!
#art#rdr2#rdr2 fanart#rdr1#john marston#barghestland#i just realised that his relationships with jack are basically.. me and my dad LMAO#my dad is a bit late being a real dad tho im 27 :/#but it's nice it kinda feels like i actually have one! wow!#jack. my poor guy. i understand.#oooooh it hurts actually#but i love john anyway. listen he's doing a good job ok#im proud of him#ok im sad now just look at pretty (i guess) art alr<3#artists on tumblr
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I have to preface this by saying that the hades team absolutely fucking cooked with Moros. 10/10 character, i have not known peace from the moment I heard this absolutely dork ass manifestation of doom talk with the most babygirl inflictions known to man. I'm rotating him in my mind constantly. I'm down diabolical. Immaculate. The things I'd do to this man are certainly not in the bible but they may be referenced in ye olden ancient greek anecdotes
HOWEVER
He SHOULD have been more creature. Make that man a beastie. As a treat
#IM TALKING BLACK SCLERA AND SLITTED EYES AND ALL THAT SHIT#MAKE HIS ANTLERS REAL MAKE HIM SLIGHTLY SCRUFFY MAKE HIM SCRUFFED#GIVE HIS FANGS GIVE HIM A WEIRD DEAR TAIL EVEN#actually good thing they didn't maybe because then i would truly became insufferable#anyway#feeling very normal about hades 2 :3#hades game#moros#moros hades#please supergiant i need him to have a romance route with Mel#i need these cringefail idiots to accidentally start dating eachother without even realising it either#melinoe#hades 2#hades ii#hades supergiant#this post is incoherent but I'm not surey i think
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ships where muse a is outwardly insane and while muse b is much more calm than them, is equally or in their own way insane inside ( especially if its towards their dynamic with muse a. ) are truly beautiful though.
#❛ 𝐒𝐈𝐃𝐄 𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐒 ⧽ — ooc.#good eveningggggggggggg chat.#real talk i am exhausted. my sister had her baby this week and so we've all been helping her and my bil out!#ive spent the majority of this weekend travelling between my house and their house#with every moment ive had to rest in anticipation for a lift to go to the other house -#meaning ive had no chance to write and im very :(#MY MUSE ON THE OTHERHAND ... (my head feeling like its gonna explode with the ideas ive had come to mind)#hoping this week things will be a lot easier but either way ill find a way to write something#and get back to my dms ... tysm for your patience as always!!!#this came to mind as i got to reading some fanfic and realised the dynamics that were coming up there were very much like this#why cant both our muses be a lil bit insane as a treat --#also replace insane with possessiveness ( youre all gonna be so tired of me bringing this up for ships im so sorry HFJDKSDJF )
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wip thing...
of my bg3 avatar hellebore. i also did some casual nude studies of my 3 characters which i'll put under a cut... rather unlike me after all. (so WARNING for abrupt non-sexual full Artistic nudity lol...,,,,) (< won't be making a habit of this)
they mean the world to me
#bg3 spoilers#?? idk. gith look so..Emaciated. And long. i guess we don't eat on the astral plane :) anyway..well..too much to say.....#it is very very very depressing having to live in the Real World after that final playthrough meant so very much to me.#i normally feel Hope & suchlike after finishing a highly immersive emotional game..but it's too hard this time and it hurtsssss lol yippee#i appreciate bg3 very much for being a place where i could access the concept of nudity & such like in a way that finally felt comfortable.#bodies are inherently non-sexual. they just Are a Fact of Life. this game being NORMAL about nudity from the character creation screen#makes it possible for someone like me to actually have a chance at accessing sensuality in a way that feels comfortable from there.#dont feel like putting it into words further. im ace. just very grateful to this game. even despite the horrors i will never ever forget it#augoh..gugf.. want to go back. my friends & love are in there.....i'm supposed to just move on? in the real world??? THIS place???? UHH????#my characters canonically look like that too!! i see them as intersex and not so much trans. They just look that way.#Diversity win!!! the people who enacted horrors upon you and are trying to kill you again respect your pronouns!!!! <3#I FAILED HONOUR MODE IN THE STUPIDEST WAY POSSIBLE..ACCIDENTALLY TOUCHED AN ITEM. MY LOVER TOUCHED SOME BLOOD-TOUCHED RAG ITEM @ THE CRECHE#AND MY PEOPLE MASSACRED US... YOU BELOVED PRAT. OF COURSE IT WOULD BE YOU AND IN THIS WAY#grateful for love triangle chaos...INTENSE EX DRAMA... IT HAD MAJOR REPURCUSSIONS THIS TIME...ohh so very much happened ohh my dear#truly don't know how to face the Real World now for real. I Don't Know. something has snapped. ive realised twt just makes me feel sad lol#if something in my spare time isn't at least half as fun as bg3....like.. it's not good enough. god we only have one wild and precious life#being Online makes me feel a loneliness so wretched and painful and horrible i really don't think this is the answer.#Why did you even start drawing in the first place? Why did you start this?#For real..the need to work this out and decide what on earth i'm going to do now has presented itself. Why try to get better..why be online#someone who has an imagination that can keep them so happy and fulfilled...has no business also feeling a loneliness as profound as this.#why was someone THIS introverted and withdrawn and anxious also cursed with such a restlessness?#What are you going to DO now? because hellebore and their lover are fine....... So what about you...?#hellebore..😭😭 AUUGHH!! I JUST WANT TO GO TO MY BED IN THE INN...PLAY ON MY VIOLIN THAT'S WHAT I'D DO!!!! i'd drink some ALE DAMNIT!!!!!#i was rereading My Lesbian Experience With Loneliness- the only time i've seen this level of emotional isolation depicted-and was grateful.#but then i read her latest book and now she has a debilitating substance abuse situation and it's upsetting.#I hope she finds what she was looking for. I hope we all make it. kind of wild that i dont do such major self-sabotage at this point myself#I truly think anyone who manages to find dear friends and achieve fulfillment and happiness with others outside themselves are amazing.#I see it happen from my tower. i hope we all make it. I hope we can make it through everything to come.#Why did i say all this on drawings of my characters naked. ah who even cares any more......
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HI I DIDNT KNOW YOU WERE INTO ADAMANDI HOLY SHIT. Can’t believe so few people know about this masterpiece of a musical
:OOOOO hai i agree it is criminally (haha yknow bc there are crimes..) underrated!! and really brilliant!!! discovered it literally midway through the week and akdfjgsjhdsjhjgdf
have a doodle of the saints :3
#this is kinda because on someone's insta i saw one of the saints doing a peace sign dksajh have smth silly#adamandi#ask me stuff???#realising i have to put my tags at the beginning before rambles or tumblr won't catch it#i am into adamandi. now. this is terrible timing because exam season but hMM the academic grindset really resonates now huh#the moment i caught myself in the ao3 tag i was like ''oh.''#i have so many thoughts. so many many thoughts. im so insane about this musical actually. also the fandom so far seems so nice#also yeah! the number of people who know about it is quite small huh.. it makes me kinda feel like im infiltrating the group... ?#late to the party as ever. but it's. so so good. such a musical ever the brainrot is real#also the way the creators themselves are active on tumblr :OO rly cool. ngl the tags they left under my posts had me#giggling screaming kicking my feet etcetera... and bc apparently i thrive off positive reinforcement that sparked the whole cut fruit art..#i am itching to know about the track thing with portia. also portrix real the lesbians keep winning!! also also i may have spent half a day#internet stalking ><. secret pinterest boards where :O#anyway thank you for the ask anon idk how to answer concisely but yes. adamandi. oh my god.#miscellany: can we appreciate ambrose's high notes.. also i was on wiki reading about ''apollonian vs dionysian'' it's insane#on yet another note. im entering my lin era rn i think. what a time. where can i run so true + vincent's surname my beloved. forest imagery#side note? tiny little detail i'd love to do smth about in the future: in word to the wise there's smth about “appraising your rings” and i#the one who pulls the strings beatrix mentions “bought my classmates rings” like. kjdfhsgjkhd???? thinks.#.. but new fav musical unlocked is all#between this and watt i am maybe into my murder musical era. confession that i don't do horror much because i have an overactive imaginatio#but like those two hit the spot. and i think organic imagery.. blood visuals.. is very cool// and the moment you start looking at literal#life and death situations then the dramaticness especially comes in and that's fun!! // also i read smth today about tragedy making you#appreciate irl stuff more. like ''wow thats messed up im sure glad that isnt me i love life''. and lowkey?? yeah
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my mum: you've been doing really good lately. every part of your life is really stable and you seem genuinely happy, it's great to see :)
me, who's felt like ive been going actually crazy bananas insane for months now: yeah haha
#sometimes i forget that 'being in total control of my emotions at all times' isn't just my cringe lore & is actually something im good at#like wdym my MUM said this. girl im experiencing horrors over here!#i got really offended by it? ilke i just smiled at her and agreed but inside i was like HELLOOOOO CAN ANYONE HEAR MEEEE#i just genuinely feel like i am so detached from myself and im entirely manipulative and i micromanage every facet of my personality#and change it day-to-day person-to-person and not in the Normal Human Way but in a crazy insane I Am Manipulating People Way#& it's a CONSCIOUS thing & like. idk who the real me is idk if there is a real me idk if id like her if i saw her idk if im a good person#but i look like im doing fine. i seem really stable and happy atm according to the person who knows me better than anyone#like that's the extent of my control on myself. even my mum cant tell. HUH#idk i feel like im being dramatic bc last week and this week ive definitely been feeling a lot better#and like maybe i was just having some sort of months-long episode but that doesnt negate the fact that while i was IN it no one could tell#not even the closest people to me that see me every day in the same house where im most vulnerable could tell#that's like. worrying surely. maybe. i think. whatever im just saying shit at this point#i always do this tho i go 'i fundamentally base my self-worth on how little i share vulnerability with people#and it's been a constant part of my personality since childhood that i dont talk about my feelings' and then i get SO pissed off#when people dont realise im going through shit. like girl what did you THINK was gonna happen. look inwards#hella goes home
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sometimes my bestfriend is like an angel in disguise istg
#i was justttttt thinking that aw it's so sad that navratri music is playling everywhere and i don't have friends to go with#like last year atleast i had tuition sorta friends but now ive isolated them too it sucks#but i was like well it's okay ill do it when i grow up celebrate every festival i didn't get to in my house because we just never do#and then she calls and she's like let's go this club jahan every year famous hota hai full celebration#and i was like ehh i don't want to i don't even know how to play and ill have to convince dad for raat can't we just#go to a cafe or something dopahar mein uske liye i don't even need permission#and she even agreed but she sounded sad and disappointed about it so i was like well fuck it you want to go club na#and she was like yeahhh so i was like aagh okay and i asked and we're going tomorrow!!!!!#and it's so ridiculous like i just say i don't want to go but it's actually so exciting to go someplace other than a cafe!!!!#and i was complaining to her ki okay ill go but i won't dress up and five mins later me and mumma are making full outfit with dupatta#style decided jewellery she has saved for years that are specifically navratri types and she's like we'll get my blouse altered it's fine#you know being sick has really given me perspective on my parents#im not going to hate my mom anymore i never used to growing up i always thought she was brave but helpless#but a stupid day in 12th i realised when we were talking that technically she COULF get divorced she just#doesn't want to because she'll be alone and she thinks we're growing up and leaving anyway so why should she let go of financial#stability for us. which is wild to me because girl you can't buy anything you want without his permission so i don't understand what's the#point if he's rich or poor but whatever whatever she's been raised this way etc etc#but anyway being sick really made me realise who the real monster is😭 all dad did was shout horribly at me all the time#and was like don't you dare take meds they're fake this is all just junk food stop eating it and you'll be fine. when i was literally#having 103 FEVER.#and mom was the one who was making me different drinks juices cutting up fruits staying with me as i get my blood drawn#checking my fever sote jaagte#like wow i literally wouldn't have gotten better if it wasn't for her and i couldn't believe how attentive and nice she was being#like yes i understand she just thinks this is her duty she's just playing her role a mother a housewife but still#idk i just realized that okay atleast she's good at being a mother dad isn't even that why am i feeling good about him when his love#not even love his politeness is so fucking conditional#and mom healed me even tho i told her about clubbing and drinking lots of alcohol she's kinda against it because she's seen#horrible things in life family yucky men but still she understands ans trusts my sister mostly and know we just do it for fun and she#wasn't even mad!!!!!!! like wow ooay#moms love is actually not conditional for the first time in my life i felt like if i fall maybe she could be there to catch me and dad wld
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Its weird because i dont actually have much of a desire to move to france or use french reguarly in my life but at this point ive deadicated over a year to learning it so i might as well keep going and finish
#it just makes me frustrated but whatevee#its like a pretty big part of my life but A. i never feel like i can chat about it#b. its generally increadibly difficult with no real way to track progress#c. its both. increadibly alienating and connecting#its so easy to feel lonely as a foreigner#foreigner isnt the right word since its the internet but thats the closest thing ive got#and i want to talk about it and share my music and what ive found but thats also difficult#because then people either expect you to be good at it which im literally not or#one time my friend made a comment at me like 'your french rap because your so cool'#and like NO!!!!! IM NOT COOL IM A LANGUAGE NERD!!!!!!#idk it made me feel bad and like. everytime i try to express my love for learning this i feel like a pretentious ass#when NO. im literally just enjoying a process and developing a skill that im very excited about and it sucks not beinf able to talk about it#it also doesnt help that the majority of instences are very small things#like today i met someone and asked them if they had a portal and they said no#THATS MASSIVE FOR ME. I ASKED A QUESTION AND GOT A RESPONSE. I TRANSCENDED LANGUAGE BARRIERS ARE YOU FUCKING ME#how is that not frankly INSANE#anyway idk. i want to be better but the joy is in the process or whst fucking ever#im also realising a lot of the time i feel like i have to prove myself to french servermates#i have to be useful i have to be generous i have to be a good builder#because if im not then im annoying and slow and everyone gets confused#im starting to want to find characters in shows like me who are stuck between languages and who are trying o reach across to others despite#idk learning a langauge has given me so much perspective on the world. other things seem to fall flat#its nice to feel smarter than i usually do#i often think im just not very smart at these kind of things but i am it just takes a different method for me i guess#idk#fish talks
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Post more Ocs and original ideas they said! It will be fun they said! sure dude
#iancu sketches#iancu realness#well ig nobody actually likes my art they just like that i post fanart#and thats fine until you realise im a person#im overreacting but lately i feel like shit and if the minimal effort OC content isnt good enough idk what to say
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Another year closer to 25 🤡
#this is so depressing 😭#because i dont wanna graduate and i dont wanna move out for mba and shadi AND ADULTING JUST FEELS SO REAL WITH EACH PASSING YEAR#I JUST WANT TO STOP AGEING OR AN APOCALYPSE THAT ENDS EVERYTHING BECAUSE GROWING UP IS SO OVERWHELMING#just the fact that im in my twenties and not a teenager anymore is SO HARD TO DIGEST LIKE HOW DID THAT HAPPEN WHEN DID THAT HAPPEN#IM SORRY I WAS TOO BUSY BEING NUMB AND DEPRESSED TO REALISE I WAS GROWING UP AND I DONT EVEN REMEMBER MY 20TH FROM LAST YEAR WHICH IS SOON#GONNA BE 2 YEARS AGO AND THEN ILL BE 30 IN A FEW YEARS AND ALL OF THIS—MY LIFE— WILL FEEL LIKE A BLUR LIKE HOW DOES THAT HAPPEN#im deleting my tumblr on my 25th birthday. thats it#also a very serious question (istg im not being cocky) how do people in their early 20's decide they wanna get married or have kids#because oh boy its like everyone's getting married young and having babies like how do you feel youre ready because that is some MAJOR LIFE#ALTERING SHIT#HOW DO U WRAP YOUR HEAD AROUND IT#HOW DO U FALL IN LOVE AND KNOW THIS IS THE RIGHT PERSON GOOD GOD LIFE IS NOT THAT EASY BUT PLEASE SHARE LIFE HACKS AS TO HOW YOU FIGURED IT#ALL OUT#like anytime i think about shadi its like no im too selfish to share my personal space with another person and then having to interact with#their family is all SO FKING DRAINING ESP WHEN YOURE NATURALLY NOT A PEOPLE'S PERSON#like how do people not get the urge to runaway before their wedding because holyshit my 19 year old self couldnt deal with all that#responsiblity and neither can this 21 year old#like its being stuck between feeling old AND young simultaneously like as a baby why would i want to have my own baby 😭#and oh god the pain that comes with it makes me envy men SO BAD#like its so easy for u to say oh yeah lets have a baby and its gonna be shared responsibility BUT YOUR BODY DOESNT GO THROUGH HELL FOR THE#NEXT 9MTHS AND EVEN AFTER THAT I KNOW MY BODY WONT BE THE SAME AND SUE ME BUT IM NOT LOSING THIS FIGURE AND THEN FEEL SHIT ABOUT MYSELF WHEN#I DRESS UP WHILE YOURE OUT THERE CHEATING ON ME WITH OTHER WOMEN#i know not all men do that but knowing my luck i know i wont be ending up with the exception so fuck marriage and kids and having a family#and then he gets to excel at his career while i raise this kid and then few years down the lane when I consider getting a job again ill be#way behind in my field and i cant be financially independent. how do housewives not feel miserable? how do u make peace with catering to a#family#ZINDAGI KYUN AKELE NAHI GUZAR SAKTE BHAI LIKE IM ALREADY SO USED TO BEING ON MY OWN I DONT FEEL THE NEED FOR A HUSBAND OR BABY#WHY IS THAT THE ULTIMATE SETTLEMENT WHY CANT IT BE A GOOD JOB AFTER MBA#at this point the only way out of all that is death before 25 and im manifesting that for the next 4 years#i missed ranting on tumblr so much omg this feels heavenly
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💯🪐✨
#ITS SO SO GOOD OMG IM GONNA SAY IT AGAIN: WE’RE SO BACK!!!!#being completely objective this is on the top of my favorite kpop gg albums list this year!#I genuinely love every song they gave me everything they truly captured Loona’s colors so well with the lore in the mv and the sound#Loona is so alive still can’t believe they revived OEC and now this#the members get to shine more it’s like the units we always wanted f*ck you again BBC#the intro is just magical#perfect... « searching for their friends 🥹#Real World really surprised me the beginning sounds so much like a RV song I LOVE it and oh my their vocals on it are so good#really impressed by the vocals and production of this album#Colouring might be my favorite it’s very Loona makes me realise how important their vocal colors are to Loona's sound#like Gowon’s tone give it that otherworldly feeling#Newtopia ooooh yessss the instrumental reminds me of OEC the production again is AMAZING this sound suits them so well!!!#Strawberry Soda is so refreshing such ear candy how wonderful & heartwarming that Yves is part of this amazing album#can’t wait to hear more of what she writes#Day by Day is the perfect closer to this perfect album it’s so uplifting it makes me so hopeful and excited about Loossemble’s future#honestly 10/10 what a flawless redebut#went beyond my expectations#very very proud and emotional I can’t find the words#every song is on my best kpop b sides of 2023 ) / current playlists & on repeat#can’t wait to receive my physical album and for Chuu Heejin and Yves' solos then ARTMS full group debut aaaaah we made it out of the drough#Loossemble#kpop#ggs#girl groups#music#korean#2023#Spotify
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top 5 oddly specific feelings in the whole wide world 💌💐🧸
HANA <3 this is a such a you coded question, i absolutely adore it! this time, it's in no particular order <3 i thought about it all morning and this is what i came up with!
- when you're feeling a little down all day and you sit outside to look at the sunset. it just- fills you with this pure admiration for the world and hope for the future. i don't know if it's because of the bad mood but the sunsets are always the prettiest at those times as if the world knows about it all. it's like it tells you here, have a pretty sky. hang in there, it will be okay. honestly, i talked about sunsets but it could be anything that's beautiful in this world. a butterfly, the moon, flowers, animals, books... anything.
- when you wait to meet up with a friend you haven't seen in a long time/at all. as someone who pretty much has only internet friends, i know this feeling so well. rather than the actual moment of meeting them, i love the excitement that buzzes in my heart at the thought of seeing them, of hearing all of their voices through the day, of touching them again. the internet is cool but seeing your friends be life in front of your own eyes- it's so beautiful. (tmi: one of my least favorite feeling is the opposite of this: when your friend goes back home. tmi 2.0: my bff went home last night and i miss her sm already.)
- when you look at someone you love do whatever,, they could be watching tv, doing laundry, cooking, tying their shoes or- showing their vulnerability to you (that one always gets me) and you feel your heart swell with recognition, love, admiration, gratefulness- it's like in that moment, you realise, you feel what this person has given to you throughout the last weeks, months, years you have known them and what you owe them. it's like- you knew you loved them all along but now you realised it. (i just really love loving people)
- when you're spending time with your family, friends, acquaintances- whoever, really, and there's a cat or a dog and it chooses you. i get choose a lot by animals, and it gets my heart filled with so much happiness every time! it really never gets old <3 like my uncle's dog absolutely love me, my brother's and sister-in-law's dogs ADORE me, my sister's cats always comes hang out on my lap,, i just attract animals, they always come to me at every gatherings and it always makes me the happiest <3 (maybe they feel how anxious i get around people hence why they come find me)
- this one i think you'll relate to, hana! when you read a new book, watch a new movie/tv show and it's just everything you needed. the feeling of getting to know new people, a new story, a new universe and feeling like, despite our world being so beautiful, that this should be your world. just the feeling of finding your home, your people, within a fictional story. i just adore this feeling of being able to relate, to lean on a story, on people that are not real. in the end, books/movies/shows are not living things and that means it can always be with you. forever, if you decide so.
#this was SO hard wth#there's just so many feelings that i love#and so many situations that makes a feeling feel different#but those are the ones that came up to me when i thought about it#i also have two other ones: when you go to place you always wanted to visit and you realise that it is real#just like you are and that it's living in the same world as you#that's an amazing feeling#and another one is eating good food#im a big food lover ok#but yeah!!!#i love the world#tag games#moots 💌#hana <3
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.
#. hm.. thinking about la chopper ……. mayb he shud look like a capybara#fucked up deer looking human thing whatever creature#solar-talks#i was talking abt this w my sister but like i think it was a really fun choice not to disclose how kuina died in la#like when i first watched his backstory in la i really thought he was going on some revenge quest or something#so watching ep19 was really fucked up actually i remember being real iffy about it but god the Layers#zoro’s thing with fate and not really luck but his acceptance of wtvr outcome he gets is doing some cocomelon shit tio my brain#itd b so neat if they revealed her death in loguetown like Come On having it right beside the kitetsu scene would b such a smart choice#WITH TASHIGI god i hope they give tashigi a little more something#ok now im thinking abt the la changes …#what iv noticed is how they seemed to isolate the eastblue kids from their islands a little more .. not exactly a flaw tho#zoros basically the same but usopp didnt have his oh my god i just realised usopp didnt have his babyguy gang oh my godddd THAT was what was#missing my whole train of thoughts derailed NOOO USOPPS BABYSITTER CHARACTER TRAIT …….i get it they couldnt fit the vegetable kids bc#of the tone but waugh…. primarily hanging out w a bunch of 8yos says so much abt him………. it was cute#anyways back to it yeah they didnt syrup village noticing his absence and the rest of baraties connection w 3ji which honestly i dont#really mind either i think the only ): to me was how they did cocoyashi#lost a bit of it’s depth my making them hostile to nami tbh#its a good thing i watched the anime After la bc i feel like i wouldve been way sadder abt that decision#these arent real complaints btw the la did a reaaallyy great job#if they didnt i really wouldnt be here thinking about this show . in depth . god how did it come to this SKFHDJFJSHF#anywho . they missed some bits of course but oughhh they did baratie really good ..#ill b honest zeff n 3jis backstory is seriously my favorite thing about the la#some absolutely breathtaking execution it really Got Me ..#the all blue speech …. taz skylr yuoure line delivery skills are insane#whats rlly crazy is how when u take away 3ji’s 1 flaw hes fucking unstoppable . why r u favorite character material . explode forever#head in hands its the themes of hunger .. hate it here so bad …..#ack he grows on u like mold . it was the stupid curry filler episode that got me i rewatched a while ago goddd hes so annoyinggggggg#the curry filler ep was cute . i liked it . <- mad about it#ugh spent 2 hrs writing these tags i dont wanna do my psychology essay .. nico robin save me ……. save me nico robin ……………..
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2/2 Do you have trust issues?
yeah dude where the hell did my assets go. think i have to sue the mf who ran away with them
#uhhhhHHHHHH#i don’t actually know how to answer this question#like... on the one hand i don’t THINK i have ‘trust issues’ per se but#on the other these asks are probably the most open i’ve been willing to be as of late and how do i do them.. by putting a joke in the post#and then proceeding to tuck my real answers away in the tags. which on my theme is effectively a collapsible hidebox.#so no one has to see them unless they opt in#good lord#i guess i kind of do? but for me i feel like i struggle to see it that way because it’s not as if i don’t take people by their word#(given i don’t have a reason not to obviously)#and i don’t particularly think my friends are gonna ditch me#i just. i don’t know how to talk to people about myself????#i’ll go on like a madman about my interests every day of the week but when it comes to my thoughts and feelings outside of that#it seems inaccessible#i’ll be like oh i’m pretty genuine around people but the next second i realise do these bitches even know what my favourite colour is#contrary to my reputation outside of the bit i don’t think i ever lie to ppl outright. i just lie by reduction like a lot. like a lot a lot#and ig the logical extension to that is my bitch ass peacing out of existence for a while when things aren’t going so great for me#and promptly reappearing once i manage enough stability to be around folks again without going dead silent whenever im asked how i’ve been#only to be greeted with ‘???? BITCH WHERE THE FUCK WERE YOU??? IT’S THE YEAR 2037 WE THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD’#i hate how much i make people who care about me worry#but i also kinda don’t know how to solve that problem? ? ok google how do you be fine with the mortifying ordeal of being known#when in the first place you’re not sure how talking things out like that works#it’s weird. sometimes i think about how i’ve known my friends for years but i’m only just beginning to realise people want to be around me#and who don’t just interact when they need something from me or to have me answer their questions#not out of any mistrust towards them as individuals but moreso. ‘oh. this is a thing you can do? i didn’t realise that’#just... didn’t know that was an option until it was presented i suppose#wow this is probably the most personal one of these’s gotten how’d that happen
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Day so bad I had to pull up leon Kennedy comforts you asmr on my break 👍
#.personal rambles#I feel like the one friend where bad things keep happening to them as of lately and its nit fun#literally spent my break crying in the car listening to these audios that ik arent real n just various vas but i needed the validation#i needed to hear someone tell me that im good and im loved and im cherished#but also horrifying realisation that bc my birthday is in abt a week+ thats why all this bad shit is happening#its the cursetm
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