#but once again I am taking all ideas
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Hypothetically-
If I were to make a Legend of Zelda-esque Batfam/DC AU, what would everyone be? What races in the games do you think would fit them best? (example: hylian, zora, twili, etc)
What ideas do you have?
#question#writing questions#batman au#batman#dc#dcu#batfamily#batdad#batfam#I will say I am tempted for Twili Bruce#but once again I am taking all ideas#legend of zelda#legend of zelda crossover#loz#loz crossover#dc crossover#batman crossover#LOZxDC#DCxLOZ#does this count as prompt#prompts
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Having the Pool Dream again, handsome?
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#lan wangji#mdzs au#MDZS disco elysium au#[Pain Threshold - Formidable 13]: Endure it.#I am once again putting my brain ramblings on display to give me a bit more time to finish the comic this is based off of#I promise this will make sense in context. Maybe.#Disco AU gives me the opportunity to explore the idea of 'what if wwx and lwj were even *more* neurotic and haunted?'#LWJ absolutely would have repetitive nightmares about wwx with the themes of inevitability and helplessness.#Sometimes its him dying as wwx stands by. Sometimes it is him - unable to move as wwx slowly fades away.#Haunted by the past....Lost to the pale tides of mourning. Welcoming the pain just to feel the memory nearby.#See you all tomorrow for the Real Comic (manifesting it by saying it over and over again)#side note: I think wwx would be a great lifeguard. He would love heckling teens and helping out kids and old folks.#Goofy but takes the health and safety aspect of his job very seriously.#There's gotta be an AU for that out there....right?
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walter white from breaking bad
Walter Hartwell White (Breaking Bad) is an Anime Girl!
#my name is walter hartwell white. i live at 308 negra arroyo lane albuquerque new mexico 87104. this is my confession. if youre watching thi#s tape im probably dead. murdered by my brother in law hank schrader. hank has been building a meth empire for over a year and using me as#is chemist. shortly after my 50th birthday hank came to me with a rather shocking proposition. he asked that i use my chemistry knowledge t#cook methamphetamine which he would then sell using his connections in the drug world. connections that he made through his career with the#DEA. i was... astounded. i always thought that hank was a very moral man and i was thrown. confused. but i was also particularily vulner#able at the time. something he knew and took advantage of. i was reeling from a cancer diagnosis that was poised to bankrupt my family. han#took me on a ride along and showed me just how much money even a small meth operation could make. and i was weak. i didnt want my family to#go into financial ruin so i agreed. every day i think back at that moment with regret. i quickly realized that i was in way over my head an#hank had a partner. a man named gustavo fring. a business man. hank essentially sold me into servitude to this man and when i tried to quit#fring threatened my family. i didnt know where to turn. eventually hank and fring had a falling out. from what i can gather hank was always#pushing for a greater share of the business to which fring flatly refused to give him and things escalated. fring was able to arrange uh i#uess you could call it a hit. on my brother in law. and failed but hank was seriously injured. and i ended up paying his medical bills whic#amounted to a little over 177000. upon recovery hank was bent on revenge working with a man named hector salamanca. he plotted to kill frin#and did so. in fact the bomb that he used was built by me and he gave me no option in it. i have often contemplated suicide but i am a cowa#d. i wanted to go to the police but i was frightened. hank had risen in the ranks to become head of the DEA and about that time to keep me#n line he took my children. for 3 months he kept them.my wife who up until that point had no idea of my criminal activities was horrified t#learn what i had done. why hank had taken our children. we were scared. i was in hell i hated myself for what i had brought upon my family.#recently i tried once again to quit to end this nightmare and in response he gave me this. i cant take this anymore. i live in fear every#ay that hank will kill me or worse hurt my family. i... all i could think to do was make this video in hope that the world will finally see#this man for what he really is.#breaking bad#walter white#your fave is an anime girl#your fave is#hall of fame
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digital ink comm round 2 done! for @trucbiduleschouettes, Alis, Sygdom, A. MG, @bakugames , F. Thorell, and Grumo.
With this round I've gotten to a decent place buffer-wise and with lunar new year prep, thank you very much to everyone who's commissioned me so far! I want to figure out something for the global strike however, so I won't be reopening digital ink comms until after this week. please stay tuned for that!
#bakuspecial#commission art#honestly my idea is straight up just aping the cartoonist coop's model. since I'm not with them yet#but yeah that will basically be how it works. but I'll limit the available type of art so I can actually finish all of it. and I'll stream#I just need to make the assets and write the post. and organize stuff#thank you once again to everyone who commissioned! cannot overstate how honored I am to be trusted with ur little guys#even if just for this one time. I hope ur having a good day wherever u are#have a good night! I wont be going to bed yet. but I will be enjoying myself. I take a hammer to it
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You know it's annoying how people accept gender being a complex thing. How the way you identify and the way you present are not the same. How complicated and fluid your gender can be.
And then turn around and deny ALL of it for sexuality. That sexuality is binary and strict.
#queer#'yes you can be masc presenting trans woman NO you cant be aro and date'#'yes you can trans by being girl most of the time and sometimes biy NO you cant be ace because of grey fluidity'#you know what fuck you all aplatonic are queer too gnc are queer too#(if they feel like it)#queer is about FUCK you socity for dictating what normal and not normal is#sometimes you are queer for how you are born and sometimes you are queer for how you live#queer is messy not the way society demands human identity to be#so once again FUCK YOU for reinforcing the same toxic suffocating ideas#FUCK YOU#yes i am angry#i am pissed off at people who supposed to know how shitty it is to be judged by who you are#to be pushed in one box only and cutting pieces off that do not fit#and then DO THE EXACT SAME THING#i KNOW queerness is complex#that it takes time to learn what being trans is what sexuality is how different kinds of attraction works#how society norms on what gender is supposed to be is bullshit#how society norms on how we are supposed to interact with each other is bullshit#but the VERY first rule should be to keep an open mind#something feels conflicting and off?#RESEARCH FIRST#learn more to figure out that its not all that simple and there are experiences beyond your comprehension#your first instinct should NOT be to hit WTFUCK
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i feel like reading/watching mbf immediately means knowing who i am as a person and... i cannot allow this
#you all know that i can't stand gatekeeping and how that's why i bring up what i like all the time in various contexts#but the surprising thing with mbf for me is that i can't talk about it as freely to people who don't know me#because i can't find a way to translate it without having to offer some crucial segment of myself#i enjoy sharing ideas and thoughts more than anything else but i don't like sharing me the person behind them#because i really cherish my individuality as something important in spite of where it takes me sometimes#i don't want to tarnish it!!!! i don't want even the smallest piece of it to be missing because i wouldn't know what to do anymore#i'll stick to typing out thoughts here and to my mom and to my med textbooks#but i must say it feels strangely refreshing to have something that is only my own this way because i always have to put myself out there#and this way i am not giving anyone the opportunity to twist it into something terrible about me#my spontaneous outbursts might ruin this for me though#letters from stephanie*#i dislike that i can't step outside of my own experiences with this like i usually do because art should be shared#this is suchhh a crazy person post#i think i finally get what my dad means when we fight about how i shouldn't say everything i think all the time#he doesn't want me to filter myself he wants me to preserve who i am from harm because stepping up sometimes won't help#who i'm trying to help but it will ruin me in some way even if it just makes me upset#i think that's how he manages to be calm without betraying himself?#he isn't lying he's just saying what he thinks when it matters and to those that matter#like most of the time i am right to single myself out but there is a particular shade of grey when i shouldn't do it#idk this is literally donna telling the dr YOU CAN STOP NOW.#realistically i just need someone to calm me down when my passions turn against me#overly personal post once again i am sooo sorryyyy look away
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For all the reasons I've seen for people to either love or hate James's arc in V8, I've never once seen anyone bring up his semblance. Specifically, I've never seen anyone mention what a disservice it was to have it merely mentioned on Twitter and never once bring it up in any sort of way in the actual show.
I hate information being released on the side and never once being brought up in the canon in any sort of way. It's lazy. It is relying solely on the audience to have seen it and to take your word for it. It's like adapting a book into a show or film but leaving out important details about the world and/or characters, relying on the audience to have read the book first (which a vast majority of them will not have done).
James's semblance, to put it simply, is tunnel-vision. It "strengthens his resolve to carry through with tough decisions", basically cancelling out rational thought and ignoring consequences. This is a major piece of information about James's behavior that is never once brought up, and because of that I can understand why a lot of people didn't like his 180 heel turn into antagonist territory--I didn't either for the longest time, and because of this a part of me still doesn't. While parts of his downfall were done subtly and done well, this particular part of it was not.
"But why would his semblance ever be brought up in conversation?" Good question, one that could be easily answered by the three characters in the cast that definitely should know about James's semblance: Qrow, Ozpin, and Watts. Qrow and Ozpin had been working with James for years, and before that it is implied that Watts and James also worked together for a period of time, getting to know each other fairly well. It makes absolutely no sense for neither of these three to ever once bring up the fact that James's behavior is likely due to his semblance interfering with his ability to make decisions. Hell, I can even imagine Watts being delighted by this; Watts knowing how James's semblance works and how to take advantage of it would definitely benefit Salem.
James Ironwood was such a fascinating character, but the fact that his semblance felt like an afterthought is a major disservice to his arc, in my opinion.
#rwby#james ironwood#I think about ironwood a lot#and how disappointed I was that they never once brought up mettle#yeah the audience can infer his semblance's interference by his facial expressions and the light going out in his eyes#but again that is relying on the audience to have seen that tweet#I am not on the cesspool that is Twitter so I would not have known about it if it weren't for tumblr#but the people who aren't on EITHER website?? and I know several people who watch rwby who aren't??#they had no idea about it til I told them#I hate hate HATE information being released on the side and being expected to just take it as canon#MAKE IT PART OF THE CANON#bc otherwise it is just trivia that doesn't effect the flow of the story at all#mettle should have been a bigger deal and part of james's arc#could you imagine if qrow never had the bad luck conversation with the kids??
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What if Peepers got left behind with the main duo tho (Patreon)
#Doodles#Wander Over Yonder#Wander#Commander Peepers#Sylvia#Dynamics ✨#Technically I have more to this idea but it ended up a bit meandering so y'know how it is lol#One of these days I'll learn how to draw the actual main characters but it's not today lol#That said I am very pleased with how Sylvia turned out in the first panel lol her Snoopy poses always get me bad <3#She may not Like the cutes but she Is the cutes so there ♪#This is basically just a character swap The Little Guy but also that episode already happened? Idk I'll figure it out as I go lol#The important parts to me were Peepers in a position with no authority and already-established dynamics with these two#Westley growing to trust them is fun and all but Peepers already knows them interpersonally - from fairly early on! The Prisoner et al#He's not in danger - at least with Wander there lol he turns his back and Sylvia rears back and he turns again and Peepers is cowering#Poor lad haha ♪ They'll go off to fight by themselves at some point#Both of them having a proper sparring partner they're not afraid to hurt tho?? This is why their dynamic works honestly lol#But just the thought of him being equal parts defensive and trying to use them for safe haven until Hater comes back to get him lol#Unlike Westley they really can't function without him so they'd make a return trip once they noticed but how long would that take ♪#So until then he has to get cozy! (Impossible)#But really the thought of no Hater acting as his alarm clock no force to manage no paperwork no schedule - I think it would stress him out#He's a creature of habit! He's lost without his familiar-and-knowns! Waking up to birdsong and bright sunshine is alien and wrong!#Hell even sleeping to crickets and the soft and warm breathing of other bodies - it's all strange and uncomfortable ♫#Probably gets up in the middle of the night - carefully - to lay a trap that Chekov Gun-style foils him or Hater by the end lol#Anything to settle him! It would take way longer than the Skullship returning to sway his deep-rooted habits hehe
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i don't know how to be merely acquaintances when we used to be friends. or i think we used to be. i don't know how to yearn for a simple hello when you've been heaping your affection on me months ago, and i don't know how to talk to you when you won't say anything. when suddenly it's all about me. you know i have nothing to say, you know my brain is void of everything but horribleness and i cannot tell you about my day because i don't even know about my day. i cannot tell you about my day when i know you won't listen, when i know you'll apply your philosophy to my world and don't believe me when i say that everything is terrible. i don't know how to be the person you seem to think i am, or the person you want in your life. i don't know if you want anyone else in your life now that you're in love and sappy, found another recipient for your affections, leaving me empty and wounded and yearning.
you said you missed me. said it many times, while i was gone. now i'm back, have been back, and i wonder how you missed me, why you missed me, when you won't talk to me. i think you mistook missing for worrying. i think you mistook caring for a feeling of obligation. i think you like missing me more than talking to me.
and i think i can't breathe with how much that hurts
#how do you miss me when you won't talk to me? how do you like me so much and then go to just. not?#how did i let you in when i try so hard not to let people do that because i know that once they get past the walls all i'll be left with#is the idea of them rotting and withering inside me. polluting the space i create to keep myself safe.#why does everyone leave? leave in silence too. leaving behind so many questions and so many words engraved in my brain#i am so tired of *grieving* when those i grieve are still alive and well and thriving and i'm reminded that it's versions of myself#that i'm grieving instead. how do you grieve yourself? how do you not fucking fall apart over it?#just. fucking talk to me. don't make it be true that all i'll ever be is nothingness and the memory of someone you liked once#but never never never liked enough#i'm so so cold already. i'm a shell. i want to be warm again but it always leaves me so hollow and hurting#i grieve the dio who was warm. i grieve them i miss them i am so so angry that he had to leave. to hide. with no way out#i'm happy for you. i'm happy you're happy. but you're no better than anyone else and it makes me want to run away again#but i have nowhere else to run and no one else to be. and it's so fucked that it doesn't matter who i am i'll never be enough#for someone to just. stay. to see me and to stay. to hear me and to sit and listen and just. just fucking stay.#maybe i'm not worth staying for. maybe there's nothing to know nothing to hear nothing to see nothing to listen to nothing to find#maybe all i'll ever get is one/two good months paid for with a lifetime of grief. and i'm at the point where i don't want the good months#anymore with you or anyone else who tears down these walls with affection that is so endlessly addictive and leaves me yearning.#on the off chance that it will keep the grief away too. but that's the thing about grief isn't it? it's here to stay. unlike you#god this is so fucked up and i'll delete this later but for now i just need to. let it out. poe said i should make a side blog for the grie#but poe's not there anymore. poe has stopped starting fires. so this goes on main until shame makes me take it down#blah#personal#not st
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cora’s bad time hell simulation steps or how to play “sprite station for girl” “harvest moon ds cute” the wrong way
(all ways are wrong this game is Accursed)
ok so here’s what my disorganized “guide” to myself for harvest moon ds for girl (aka indecipherable notes i wrote to myself as i played and revised as i tested various things and restarted due to mistakes) looks like. at some point when i become a real gamer i will write a legible guide meant for eyes to look at but uhhh this is how i play this accursed game personally
i’m not sure if anything i wrote will make any sense since i wrote it as notes to myself so probably definitely use fogu and fc2 jonason wiki (may not work but some pages should be archived) instead
ALSO if you’ve never played or barely played the game it won’t make sense at all! hmds was my first harvest moon so i am used to various horrors!
my play style is probably not fun in general HOWEVER if you are a grinding hell goblin like me then it’s GREAT!!!! if not you may still find it amusing that the game gives you permission to play like this
(it’s a great background task game while doing like productive stuff but otherwise playing this way would probably be unbearable)
(image limit)
anyway after that the days go a lot faster, you’ll get the island on summer 1, so on spring 30 i put all my money into million G tickets and sell 200 of em, do the 5x money thing, and save the rest. so when thomas comes the next day to sell you the 900 million G island you can just sell 180 tickets and do the 5x money thing again with like ~600 million G tickets left over. it takes up inventory but you’ll get the shelf in a few days. basically you just need to remember to order from the TV shopping every saturday and place orders with gotz and gray whenever they finish stuff.
random tips
after unlocking the fuckass hot spring sprites (the ones that require you to spend a total of 700 1 hour sessions in the hot springs) i usually grind grazing points— if you put your animals outside for 5 hours you get a “Love Point”, but if you interact with them after they earn that LP then the timer switches over and you can get another LP after 5 more hours. if you wear the time ring the whole time it’s 2.5 hours. i’m not very good at explaining this but basically if you’re super efficient you can get way more animal LP than you realistically should, which is great because the touch glove petting minigame is Bad!!!!
i usually wait on getting the rest of the purple sprites (the ones that require you to hire the purple team and ask for healing) until i’m totally done with the indigo team, cuz i wanna get HG’s purple heart event asap, but you can switch the order if you want
by summer y1 you’ll basically have a feel for everything. aside from Skye, Leia, HG and WP everyone can be married early-mid autumn if you want
if you want to Gay (in the japanese version only) keira is the quickest to marry. leia is the quickest to max affection but it’s impossible to get leia year 1 because the bottle you need to fish up can only be caught in spring. you have to wait until at least year 5 for WP and iirc year 6 for HG.
#i’m really sorry i can’t make this more organized#if i literally ever have time i’ll just make a video guide instead of pasting this because it’s easier to explain with visuals….#i can’t Write in an organized way i can only Visual Medium#i have a very complicated relationship with corobuckle station for girl#it scratches my brain#(derogatory)#(positive)#i have no idea how many hours of HMDS i’ve played in my life but it’s definitely the game i’ve played the most of all time#i’ll just paraphrase something i read on a japanese wiki for hmds/koroste a long time ago:#’i once again feel that the effort required for the completion of the task is unreasonable’#god i really hope ds gets a remake so all of the titles you can get in the mailbox become steam achievements#bokumono#if people find out there are achievements that take at minimum real life decades to complete with basically no reward#gamers will lose their minds and society will collapse#‘trying to accomplish it is like trying to collect a sparrow’s tears#so at some point it may be inevitable that you have to give up trying’#i really think the devs saw the ds could handle higher values than gba and went insane without considering balance at all#currently i’m trying to record as many cutscenes as i can in the jp version since y’know. english translation is very awkward#i am also trying to see if the pastor carter/cardi marriage option exists in the english version of cute#i will update so stay tuned for that if you want sex on the phone with pastor cardi b. i guess
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man i thought i moved out to escape my family but it turns out i've jumped from the pan into the fire because holy shit my guys what the fuck??
#at least at home we have people competent enough to not flush wet wipes and tampons down the toilet#let alone FOOD???#and we don't leave our dishes out for so long by the sink that they start to RUST#like ok my lil brothers make a mess sometimes and accidentally shat on the floor a few times but at least they're fucking children why tf#should i deal with shit water because of your incompetence#and yknow i can deal with noise. im the noisiest at night at home b/c i always go shower late but im not fucking SCREECHING and chatting#so loudly you'd think i was at a concert or some shit#and this bitch?? can't comprehend i just want to not have crumbs all over the couch???#like girl. how did this become a slight against you. why would i ask you to keep the couch clean b/c you slept there once or twice#BITCH I CLEANED THE COUCH COVER ON MY OWN DIME *BECAUSE* I KNEW YOU MIGHT SLEEP THERE AGAIN & WANTED IT TO BE CLEAN FOR YOU#YOU NOT ONLY INSULT ME BUT ENTIRELY MISCONSTRUE MY KINDNESS TOWARDS YOU??? WHY WOULD IT BE DIRTY B/C YOU SLEPT THERE???#you can't make this shit up i hate having roommates holy hell#only slightly made up for by the fact i get a room to myself these days#the other one smells like weed all the time and the other other one doesnt wash her hands properly after using the toilet + keeps her dishe#out by the sink + doesn't pick her hair up#also i'm the youngest so that's just even sadder#i was also the youngest last year and bitch. you have no idea#this is what being the eldest sibling does to a mf#not really related but they made the ugliest doormat ever i wish i had been there to stop them from that atrocity#and why do they not take their shoes off. girl i mop the floors like every 2 weeks#it's fucking clean trust me just take them off bitch#am i being holier than thou? probably but fucking DESERVED#i can't be taking care of people two years older than me like this. yall have too much fucking drama
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Granted I have the overall geographical and cultural knowledge of a 4th grader but from what I can tell the nuclear family model really does seem to be a white colonial invention
Different cultures have different approaches but I mainly hear about either large family units where multiple generations support each other and raise their children and grandchildren together or an "it takes a village" approach where children are raised somewhat communally
And I can't really speak on it much or claim that these families were free of abuse or that children aren't often an oppressed group basically everywhere I know of but the way ownership of your children is so engrained into white society is so bizarre
Like once you notice it you can't unnotice it even the most loving well meaning parents don't know what to do about it because everyone is so isolated from their own families and their own communities so you wind up with 1-2 parents who have full legal ownership of their child and are raised in a culture where you don't have personhood until you're 18 and all attempts at self actualization before them are seen as clueless rebellion. Like our culture is so divorced from the concept that a parent is someone who is helping mentor and care for their child so they can thrive as a fellow human being and it's actually so alarming
And ik this problem isn't unique to white and colonized people but it's honestly really soothing to hear about how other cultures approach and view parenting and community as a whole and to internalize it doesn't have to be this way
#like i was reading a book by Sabaa Tahir who's Pakistani#and the perspective on parenthood portrayed in it so healing#like when Salahuddin mentions that his mom taught him not to thank his parents growing up#''Ama taught me that saying thank you to your own parents is unnecessary. Akin to thanking your lungs for breathing. The times I tried#she looked at me like I’d rejected Saturday-morning paratha.''#and like obviously the idea isn't that your kids should be ungrateful im assuming that it's their behavior and overall respect thats thanks#but as someone who was raised thanking everyone for everything especially my parents no matter what it really stood out bc even little stuff#like that can make a huge difference yk? since I can remember white adults particularly my parents taught me i was a burden#and that their taking care of me was an act of kindness rather than a responsibility and I don't think it's some big conspiracy to make kids#feel horrible but it's not really teaching gratitude it's just teaching guilt#thats just one example tho#I also am at the extreme end of white cultural isolation (neither of my parents are close to their families we've never lived near them and#they specifically isolate us from everyone so the difference is a lot more drastic for me than it probably is a lot of other people#but when i hear ppl being close to their neighbors or anyone that lives near them i go a little insane with longing tbh#like what is that like? to grow up in an environment where your world is more than just your parents approval?#where there's some kind of insulation between you and all of your parents problems bc there is no one else#this was not a ramble with any kind of conclusion tho akehrjdhr#and once again I am absolutely not saying that child abuse is uniquely white bc. el em ey oh thats not how any of this works#it's just that white cultures view on children is sickening
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All my fellow writers out there! Do you ever have any lines of description or dialogue that you’re just kinda… proud of? Cause I kinda had two last night when I was working on my Boys in the Boat fic🤭
The descriptive line: The feeling, combined with the sight of her smile made him break into his own sort of smile: a subtle smirk that was very much lopsided.
Dialogue line: “He scream-sings,” Don went on. “Moch’s a better cox than a singer.”
NOT to pat myself on the back but… I had a moment where I was like “I WROTE THAT???” I couldn’t help but giggle and show my youngest sister (who also writes) kinda like “See what I wrote?? SEE WHAT I WROTE?! DO YOU LIKE IT?!” She did lol!
#AND WE ARE ALL HERE FOR DON’S (JACK’s) LOPSIDED SMILE!!!!#he jabs Bobby TWICE in this too 🤣#but since Bobby’s a good sport (mostly) he’s all🤨😒🙄🤣 he’s always dishing it to his boys; he’s gotta take it once in a while ya know?#I guess being a lil lovesick makes Don a lil sassy🤭#I AM REALLY ENJOYING WRITING THIS!!#I miss writing SwanFire but I’m enjoying having ideas again - I wrote them into a wall I think😭#the boys in the boat#don Hume#Bobby moch#writing#my WIPs
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I’m normal again it’s now yearning to kiss Yuuji hours
#sorry about the knife thing#once again I’ve forgotten to take my meds today#all my dark content ideas emerge when I am Unmedicated asskksksks#it WILL happen again…. because I am very forgetful#samaras yapping
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Recent things.. mostly just writing screenshots lol
#There's a water problem in the apartment so thats been taking most of my attention lol.. the way maintenance happens here is just#this big long vague wait with no clear communication. You just send in a request to the apartment building and then you might hear from the#any weekday from 8am - 4pm any time after that. Sometimes it's quick but sometimes its like days before you hear anything. So then#you just have to be operating under the assumption that at any time during working hours you might get a call or a knock at the door#Like if you were expecting company at any time for a week straight ghjhj.. ANYWAY.. I've been working on making a little discord#server thing for the game maybe for playtesters to communicate in initially i guess but then also after it's out or... something like that.#no idea how all of that works. but you hear about people doing it. or something... Still not entirely sold on the idea since I'm not really#a big user of discord format speaking (like little chats and stuff) but.. again idk.. seems like.. common.. for things...(< socially odd#hermit fumbling through trying to imitate what '''normal''' people do/enjoy/desire lol..). Since I think my biggest issue is I am very bad#at socializing and thus marketing since a lot of that is social. The type to just google ''what do people do about games once they've#made them'' and just go after whatever the top 10 things apparently are hjbjhbjh... But like I said. still unsure it will be utilized. it#all feels very awkward to me. then again most things do. But that's what the ''overall progress'' screenshot is from. the little channel#where I've been posting updates to myself lol. Also ''coding'' in that being used very lightly consdering it's ren'py and I'm only using#the very bare bones most basic functionality of it lol. Extremely intense highly daunting master level coding such as ''if x then y''. gbjh#slacked on writing a lot due to the evil maintenance and such things... and just general... appointments... events... aughhhhhh#I think it's Goose Time here or something because nearly every day I hear big V shaped rows of geese flying by like multiple#times a day and they're so pretty and neat to watch. They've really inspired me somehow. Today it was rainy and gray skied and high winds#and cold (some of my favorite most beautiful weather) and I went out to check the mail and like 6 or 7 rows of geese fluttered#by in the air. I felt like that meme image of that guy that looks kind of weird (william dafoe??) and its like black and white and#he's looking up at something almost teary eyed wide eyed in awe.. The goose... those are my goose.. the universe sent those gooses just#for me and the high speed winds blowing my coat open and chilling my face... a tender platonic kiss from the world is often delivered#by way of chilly weather and bird formations.. peace and love on planet earth truly..#OH and of course.. boy with boy!!!! shout out to those little mcdonalds toy animal plushies from like 2006 or something. I found the#gray cat one and was like.. hrmm.. I have one of those as well (a real life gray cat). surely they're friends now.
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so anyway, thanks for reading my little dissertations on byan's gender. sorry for not writing again today, i'm just. i'm fuckin goin through it rn man
#'it' being... *gestures vaguely*#i stumbled across this series of yt shorts yesterday (all by the same creator) that really fuckin resonated with me#and i mean that in the most serious way like. it spoke to me. never have i related to someone talking about their experiences more.#talking about their life growing up undiagnosed autistic & adhd... being in treatment for anxiety & depression for decades...#i can't really explain it but good god it's most exactly my same experience and i just. i have never felt that before.#it was so... idk. it sounds so dramatic bc it's literally a comedy short but holy shit#they verbalized things that I haven't been able to and#fuck. I felt seen and I felt like I wasn't alone in this miserable weird non-functioning barely even a human place I'm in rn#and just. idk. I'm still kinda processing some of it.#once again I am thinking back over my life and realizing things and it's. heavy. and tiring.#but like. in an ultimately positive way bc it's gonna help me change things & get to a better place.#I'm rambling IGNORE ME writing it out helps me process ig and for whatever reason posting on my dumb writing blog is easier than journaling#just. once again thank u all sfm for ur patience with me. it means SO much to me. genuinely.#you have no idea how much and I can't put it into words but. slow as I am... writing here with all of you is one of the few reasons#that I'm still kicking. and I'm just. so very grateful to every last one of you.#ok I'm gonna shut up before I get even more sappy and emotional lmfajdkgksg#love you guys. hope you're taking care of yourselves. 💜💜💜#━━ ˟ ⊰ ✰ ooc ⋮ don’t @ me.#personal cw
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