#but on the internet ppl are mean. i dont want ppl to be mean to me. i just have strong opinions
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i have an issue I see with ppl trying to make shippers "understand" their ship could not become canon, and I dont think many would expect it.
Why are we pretending being in your late 30s is being middle age? Dont get me wrong, being a middle aged person doesn't have to mean anything about someone, but its just- not middle age literally.
I dont really understand bringing that up anyways, iit feels wrong to me to believe just ppl in their teens and 20s could ever do anything pro LGBT+ in general... I find it insulting, as if this is a new thing or impossible to believe older people could believe in queerness in a positive light or be queer themselves. The main reason in the west, and im assuming other parts of the world, there arent as many or as visible is, well, because people were dying because of the AIDS crisis + the isolation from being older and every single public space made for or just young queers or cishet older adults.
I get the point, but if I remember correctly every time I see someone trying to do that (of course im believing they have the best intentions in mind), they have to bring up how this is a Japanese middle aged man as a good enough reason.
I don't really mind about what others want to believe or how much they care in terms of shipping -if you prefer to be casual and not paying that much attention to what's canon or not, good for you! Many ppl are also like that and its completely valid, here in this side of Tumblr might seem like all of us believe and theorize about their endgame potential bc we are the ones that usually make more posts or longer content. But I dont like those assumptions about queerness being tied to young westerners, and I wanted to rant a little bit.
Again, I dont believe that was the intention in any of those posts, and im not trying to call out anyone, just rant.
#grrr talking#I just researched a little bit and well#Kaito who wrote blue flag with the first queer protagonists being serialized by shonen jump#he is literally just 2 years younger than horikoshi#he ended blue flag when he was 31#idk I just dislike how aging is being seen these days in the internet#we could say middle age starts around 45-60s depending on how long ppl usually live in your area#it would be a little worrying if 37 is considered middle aged considering ppl in Japan are known for living until their late 80s-90s#and stilllll#what's up with the age???#bring up the demographic bring up resistance from fans or how he just might not want to be remembered like that or be interested#but bringing age? why everybody that does this brings up age?#and also the sexuality of ppl we dont know#that has nothing to do with anything#an author being queer doesnt mean they want to make queer stories or characters#and an author not being queer doesnt mean they just want cishet stories#idk if I sound mean#I swear im just ranting ajdhjfhkdfshfksjh#you can look away folks
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ppl reviewing anti lawn books on goodreads and going "this is preachy" yeah its about a political movement what do you want. are they supposed to NOT advocate for their beliefs
#im getring nervous bc im writing the longest ever video essay that is a persuasive essay for the anti lawn movement#and i already overexplain shit sm#and in real life ppl r ususlaly receptive to my evangelicalizing of these beleifs#but on the internet ppl are mean. i dont want ppl to be mean to me. i just have strong opinions#also ok. american green is a great book and i find it annoying how its a Centrist Take That Acknowledges Both Perspectives on the basis that#sometimes it is jusy sooooo Obnoxiously Centrist#but it IS good to have both perspectives#but then at the end hes like ' and the ppl who wrote the landscaping revolution are CRAZY bc they think this is a moral issue '#and its like YOU DONT???? YOU RECOUNTED ALL THAT INFO AND YOU DONT. THINK THIS IS A MORAL ISSUE#HWAT???#the qhole book makes it Very Clear that anti lawn is the way to go just from Objective Facts#and then hes like 'and both sides suck!!! im better than them because im Neutral' and its like. did you read your own book man?
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really weird thing ive noticed lately re: hermits getting critiqued for stuff theyve said or done is that as soon as someone holds a shit opinion (even if it's just them being stupid, or a centrist, or saying a bad word without knowing what it means, or whatever) people immediately seem to flock to the 'this guy should die' 'kys' 'why are we giving this person a platform' rhetoric and like. that's not how meaningful change is made?
like, yeah, if one of my beloved CCs posted a tweet or video tomorrow about how much they hate gay people, or believe in conservative ideals, or they just said a bunch of slurs or whatever (these are hyperbolic examples obviously) then yeah, fuck them, they should go rot. but like, having some dumb takes, or saying bad things in the past, doesn't = evil terrible person...
idk, i feel like we can critique content creators without getting so insane about it. like, shit, there are things some of my favourites do that i don't like, but theyre not even really worth bringing up tbh. unless its something actually important, i feel like it just creates more drama out of nothing and all these assholes come crawling out of the woodwork to tell everyone how much they hate that creator. or find their content boring anyway so clearly they have no real merit to anyone.
more of an explanation of what i mean in the tags but yeah.
#this is kind of about ppl finding out x is a centrist and... apparently that means telling him 'kys' is ok#i dont even like centrism but like... wasnt he super right wing at one point? is this not at least a mild improvement? he's just some guy#i like his content. dont care enough to get into drama about him being a 'we should all just talk it out!' kinda guy. who give a shit.#this is also kinda about doc's little rant on twt about plestine/isral (spelling to not clog tags) which was basically just -#- 'stop asking me to speak on these things 1. i could get into legal trouble 2. i stopped talking about politics years ago for good reasons#which like. isnt my favourite response to things? but i also Get It yknow?#it wasnt as big of a deal as ppl seemed to think it was#(especially since he very clearly retweeted donation post and said hes against innocent ppl dying. which is pretty clear to me.)#anyway the milder things im talking about here is like. harry potter references or mild orientalism re: 'asian-style' builds#like. i could go mad about that but i really dont give a shit#i dont#and like im a hard leftist. but i just do not care. so long as they arent a massive right winger or a creep im fine#*i say massive right winger but tbh i kind of mean right winger at all. i just dont give a shit about ccs wanting to remain more centrist#especially online.#anyway#hermitblr#hermitcraft#mcyt#discourse#ben chats shit on the internet#to clarify im not tryna say that its cool to play both sides politically but also i dont think bringing up a 4 year old post -#- to stir up drama is very genuine. looking at the notes i just see a lot of 'wow fuck this guy i hate his content anyway' and its like. ok
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also like i partially found out i might be intersex because i was looking at trans stuff and there was like "(however many) months on t and finally seeing some bottom growth" and like pictures of t-dicks and i was like.... um.... that's kind of just what my clit looks like anyways. so i was like "hey google give me a quick rundown on this" and learned what clitoromegaly was and then i was like. hm. intersex resources. and it's like a sign? symptom? side-effect? of certain intersex conditions
#i mean like pcos runs in the mums side of my family but i dont have all the symptoms of that#i do also have like. more hair?? than the average afab person#like dark hair on my stomach and chest and back#and my face. whats disappointing about the face hair is that it isnt enough to be able to grow a beard#so i cant even fuck with gender that way#tagging as nsft just because of like genital mention#genital mention#nsft#shoutout to transmascs on t who show their t-dicks on the internet it was really helpful#also i dont know how to describe it but like. my natural face shape is kind of masculine??#like it would be plausible for a cis amab perisex man to have my face without looking feminine#if you get what im saying??#if it sounds like im reinforcing sex or gender essentialism please say i am struggling to find words#unshoutout to the boys in primary school who made fun of me for having hair under my arms and starting a whole decade of insecurity-#-about having hair on my body lmao#for the record i dont think certain face shapes are indicative of gender and all im just going by like. patterns?? in afab vs. amab faces#also not that i think afab vs. amab is the entire categorisation of human sex characteristics but um. working with what vocab i have here#i think what also really kicked it off. was relating to a fair few experiences intersex people have socially#particularly intersex ppl who were afab and faced a lot of pressure to make their bodies conform to feminine beauty standards#and it was like.... oh lol.... my mum did that to me!!#it comes from her own internalised shit bc she has pcos (idk if she identifies as intersex even tho she could if she wanted) but still.#dont project that onto a 10 yr old lmao. she keeps buying me hair removal products#ALSO floored by an experience i have. in which apparently half my friends dont feel pressure to shave their legs#because the hair on their legs is like. light and thin and barely visible and i was like?? huh??#what do you MEAN your legs don't look like your brothers/fathers if you dont shave??#im starting to think they dont shave their arms. their arms might just naturally not have a load of hair#i dont shave my arms though. cannot be bothered with that and also like. why would i do that#also you know that like. happy trail i think its called?? on “men's” stomachs??#yeah i have that naturally yeah thats right im naturally sexy#if you cant tell i am putting “girls” “mens” “boys” “womens” etc. in quotes to indicate that is just the normal society way of saying it
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Every time i cringe when old of mine gets notes again, I then get this kinda swell of pride
Like man I never would've thought that a silly doodle I did in the middle of a hyperfix in 2019 would over 4 years later bring a smile to someones face
Like how many times I've gone down internet rabbit holes and found fanart over a decade old but still managed to bring a smile to my face, how many abandoned fics and comics and art people dont really think abt anymore still bring me joy when I stumble upon them
And I might not be proud of my old work because I've improved and I get embarrassed because I know I could do so much better if I re-did it nowadays, but like thats not the point. When I made it way back when it made me happy, and while it's not up to my personal standards anymore, it still makes other ppl happy. Other ppl arent holding my old art to the standards i am.
My one lil moment of joy that sparked a doodle inspiration kinda went across time and brought a smile to someone else's face way down the line when im not even really in the fandom that doodle was for anymore
AUs I've since gone back and went "eugh" with because I know I couldve approached them with better designs and writing nowadays, even tho I don't think it's good enough, someone else does, and like. thats just. thats just nice.
Idk. I dont have a point to this. I just hope that stuff i make today makes ppl happy years down the road. That's a nice thought.
#esp since i just cant make art as much as i used to. still coming to that reality and still making peace with that.#i mean if we wanna get real deep abt it- like- how do i put this#thanks to ~the horrors~ i feel severed from the self i was back then for lots of reasons. and my memories are faulty at best#so when ppl interact with older stuff it lets me bridge that gap a bit yknow? it even helps me remember a lot from back then#not to traumadump or anything but yknow how it is. sometimes survival is severance and forgetting everything in order to forget the bad#so its nice to have people bring up remembering the good#but again i dont really have a point to this i just find it sweet that ppl still find joy in old stuff even if that old stuff makes me crin#its why i aint planning on nuking any of my inactive sideblogs anytime soon#ESP my fnafblr. i may not be super into fnaf anymore but i want that blog there still because it really made me happy back then#and yeah to my fellow artists i recommend not nuking old art unless its something you REALLY dont want associated with u anymore#(very understandable if u do. i nuked some old dnd art for those reasons so dont feel guilty if u ever do)#something something 'beauty of internet preservation'#uh idk#personal#i guess
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hot take everyone saying deadpool and wolverine is the gayest thing ever needs to watch more gay porn
#i feel thoroughly baited by you ppl what do you MEAN its the gayest thing you've seen#like yeah it was homoerotic at times but literally every time wade's passes at dudes is played for laughs#it's gay jokes with more steps#meanwhile his main emotional arc of the movie concludes with him getting back with his sad backstory ex#i liked the movie well enough i just feel slightly lied to#deadpool and wolverine crit#i guess??? its not like i plan to talk more on this im just mildly irritated and want complain on the internet#im glad yall are excited please dont take this too serious
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the bar for "revolutionary" webhorror is so low. what happened
#god lord im so sick of itttttttt ToT#if you dont know analogue horror is on is deathbed and now ppl are onto ''digital horror''#which is the same thing except using digital mediums instead of analogue (like the internet instead of vhs)#and i do mean the same thing lol nothing has changed#not the conventions of storytelling not the limitations of the medium not the types of scares it presents#the only thing that has changed is the aesthetic. and that is unbelievably sad#if youre going to do a horror series based in the internet then why not.... actually use the medium of the internet for horror#theres so many scary things about the internet (esp early internet!!!!!) and yet no one is using that for their series#just the same old ''missing children's spirit communicating through tape oops i mean the website :)'' like cmon man.... :(#why not use things like viruses or the sudden connection to any and everyone through the internet or early hoaxes/creepy ads#lack of regulation on the early internet or the isolating/uncanny aesthetics of old hardware (kid me was so scared of computers lol)#or literally anything else that is DIRECTLY CONNECTED TO THE MEDIUM YOUR SERIES IS BASED ON#does anyone else on earth care about this or am i just picky??? hello???#i just want smth that leaves a genuine impact. i just want a series that feels like smth thats never been done before#i just want webhorror that knows what it wants to be and fits neatly into the confines of its medium#petscop felt like a real videogame. it felt like smth i could see in an ''obscure ps1 games youve never heard about!!'' video#it had a will they wont they about whether or not the game was actually talking to paul (through ghosts or other users etc)#but it was never in your face and it was left just vague enough that instead of breaking immersion it sucked you in even more#paul felt like a real person playing a real game and experiencing genuine fear and obsession alongside the audience#there was never a point where the screen started turning red and pauls voice became distorted and ''scary'' while creepy imagery popped up#bc petscop works entirely within the limitations of a man playing a videogame. no more no less#thats the kind of dedication to the medium that i want!!!!!!#i only critique webhorror so much bc its my favourite type of horror and i want it to improve
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u ever have to back out of a drama explained video bc ur like. i agree that that person was in the wrong but the way youre presenting them is just unsettling
#like theres a difference between 'hey heres a breakdown of who waid what and what happened' and#'look at this zoo animal and what a freak they are for this freak thing they did‚ everyone point and laugh at them wherever they go forever#specifically if you put quirky music and a dramatic voiceover over a clip of someone having a screaming#breakdown in their car telling people to leave them alone i think thats uhhhhhh fucked up no matter what they did#and ppl will always be like 'well they could just log off so its fine' and its like a) didnt we learn in like elementary school that#cyberbullying is still real bullying#like to me that gives the same vibe as 'why didnt they just leave' irt abusive relationship if that makes sense?#like yeah physically they are capable of just logging off. physically they can choose to leave. but theres a lot more#that goes into it than just 'can i physically leave'#like. ppl who do abuse over the internet know how the internet works and know how to use#means other than ohysical strength to keep targets under their control#'if you dont respond to my messages whenever i send them ill kill myself. no i didnt directly say that but#i repeatedly messaged you at times i knew you had just gone to sleep faking suicide attempts making you feel#like its your fault for not being available to respond 24/7'#its 'youre the only person i can talk to about these things no one understands me like you. you are my whole support system and therefore#wholly responsible for my mental health#if you leave me ill have no one so you will be dooming me to fall apart on my own when i need support the most so you can never leave me'#its 'how can you break up with me right now knowing im feeling suicidal‚ its like you want me to kill myself‚ you did this deliberately bc#youre a bad person. my life depends on you staying with me and i will never not be suicidal#and even if i was you saying that would make me feel that way so you can never break up with me or youre responsible for me kmsing#im not saying thats at all the same as ppl taking drama too far and freaking out abiut stuff however i feel like a good portion of it#carries over specifically the fact that. they probably feel like they /have/ to stay logged in‚ to keep their drama public#they have to keep defending themselves and keep reading responses and keep going and going#plus like. of course its the big freakouts that get lots of attention and therefore get even worse#good or bad people like spectacle‚ you never see people calmly resovling disagreements because they.#get calmly resolved then everyone moves on and forgets it. so you only remember the wild ones#like esp for like. kids on tiktok#we all had meltdowns about petty shit at one point or another we just were lucky enough to grow up just before#social medias jumped over to video content so it doesnt have our faces tied to it#idk. i just think ppl should ask themselves 'how would i feel if an audience of thousands was watching my lowest moment like this'
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shoutout to people who post for attention or validation or some other form of interaction, you deserve the compliments, attention and/or interaction you are seeking or recieve and are cool for being who you are!
#shoutout#just. countering the tendency of ppl to see it as 'posting for clout'#obvi like everything there r unhealthy ways ppl do tjis#but yellinh at ppl for seeking positive attention isnt the way 2 deal w that...#entropies#inspired by. uh. idk reddit stranger who thought itd be cool to be mean abt my google blogger blog#when I was 15 AND it was a subreddit for posting links to your blog#that person was like even complaining abt the theme (and mobile format which I couldnt change)#like. you dont need 2 interact w content. you dont need to give ppl attention if you dont want to theres no point in being an asshole abt i#but again yeaj internet does make ppl like angrier somwtimes n its a colder form of communication so it gets ppl like that
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hm i want to comment on a tumblr/internet trend im noticing but i fear that, to do so, i must overshare
#& oversharing is my BIGGEST ICK#i mean#i don't know how to say “i don't like this thing”#w/o ppl automatically assuming the reason behind that the reason i don't like the thing#is bc of an intimate detail i dont want to share on the internet#like i cant think of a way to explain it at all w/o ppl being like HAHA LOOK @ U#hm#the horrors of being vulnerable
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nvm all that ill delete it, i just had a bad day and was thinking abt some annoying stuff that happened on here before o(-(
#blabs#its not that i dont appreciate that a lot of ppl wanna see my art#its just that i am literally just some guy and i dont exactly know how to manage an audience#so sometimes id rather just go back into obscurity#i am well aware that itd make ppl upset that want to keep seeing my stuff#internet communities just arent good rn and i do not have the chops to deal with it#nor do i really want to#which is why i keep my stuff incredibly tame#but it feels limiting#even just saying that i half expect someone to show up like uhh what do u mean tame tf are u doing 🙄#bc i get ppl like that all the time#sigh#anyway
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Sorry but if I see any donatello fans call mob swagless again or insult him I might lose it.
#like idk i am not saying mp100 fans always behave because LORD KNOWS.#but i just looked in the notes on the mob vs donnie poll while it was going on and it was just soooo many insults towards mob#and its like i dont care if u want donatello to win but just dont insult the other character esp when u clearly know nothing about him 😒#anyway never look in the comments.#it is always ny downfall#but for real the anger i felt seeing insults towards mob 😭😭😭 he means so much to me......#just be nice hellooooooo#uts just a fun internet poll we dont need to throw around fraud accusations and insult other ppls charas#sorry i just am thinking abt this with the final coming up and donnie being back in 🙄
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You see the problem with trying to talk to ppl abt oni lore is that most ppl who have read the logs are like on tier 3 while I'm on tier 7. And most ppl past that can't match my freak because of tier 6 being such a massive hurdle. And I theoretically have the power to make tier 6 stop existing and bridge the gap between layer 5 and 7 but that'd require me single handedly updating the wiki and god damn do I not want to do that
#rat rambles#oni posting#ignore my meaningless ramblings this is like 60% me being a pretentious brat lol#this is simply what I spent my shower talking to myself abt so now yall have to deal with it#but even outside of that shit is soooo fucked for anyone who wants to get into oni lore its miserable#people just do not document this stuff fully and it means that for a good chunk of the lore you do in fact have to find it in game#which is a tall task for a lot of ppl especially ppl who dont have $40 on hand#because a good chunk of the stuff the wiki is missing Is dlc exclusive content#so best prepare to buy the base game and both dlcs if you want to read everything at this point in time :/#that also makes it damn near impossible to recommend oni's story to people because huge swaths of it are in game exclusive rn#and dont get me wrong I adore oni as a game so fucking much but its a commitment yknow?#and it's definitely not for everyone#and those who do commit to the actual game usually are here just for the game yknow?#which is why nothing is fully documented and theres so much misinformation within the community surrounding the lore#so anyone who is like legitimately invested in the story that oni has to offer has to jump through hoops to actually experience it#which most ppl dont want to do from what I've seen#and like I get it its not great to have basic lore locked behind a paywall#but still it makes me sad and it makes me have a hard time talking to ppl abt oni#I look at oni lore discussions on the internet and its just me fighting for my life to not go erm actually☝️🤓 every five seconds
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i didnt wanna say this on anyones post because its a thing people could easily be upset by but
i wish i could talk about how my ptsd being triggered makes me feel without sounding like i have school shooter energy
#for context my friends i was traumatized most days for the first 18 years of my life due to problems in school#and just growing up obviously disabled from an extremely young age#was diagnosed with ptsd due to this#but if i talk about violence in regards to my trauma people (understandably) will be like 'dont joke about that'#i wish i could express the pain and the agony i still harbor from the trauma without being told not to speak like that#my condition is beyond the comprehension of most social media users and ik that so i dnt really fault them for saying it to me as a kneejer#i guess i mean to say that this blog is my own personal safe space because nowhere else is and#i appreciate everyone understanding that and those who support me#but if expressing violence/anger about school settings and subjects triggers u then either unfollow or take w a grain of salt#as it stands i would never ever hurt an innocent person who doesnt deserve it i promise you that lol#(i wanna talk about stuff like this more often but me being unfiltered will show the side of me that isnt sanitized for the internet lol)#i just dont want any of my followers to be surprised ig so if u cant handle me being unfiltered and open with my disabilities then farewell#above all this blog is a safe space for ppl with 'scary' conditions and disabilities otherwise seen as 'unacceptable' to openly have#and it always will be
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#go ahead. create a tumblr trained AI. it will be the most toxic bitch known to man and accelerate our downfall(via@xaveria)
So do we wipe our blogs or what?
#404 Media#the article is behind a login and I dont feel like working around it so I didnt read it#but I just want to say training your Text Generator on tumblr seems like drinking a glass of draino because you're thirsty#:|#Automattic#MidJourney#~AI~#I mean on the Automattic end: might as well get the rubes' money while they're throwing it at everything#but on the other entirely metaphorical hand: I always hate to see ppl bandwagoning on these stupid fads#Tech Companies#Bandwagoning#and of course: Im personally of the opinion that all internet writing is 'Personal Effects' for legal purposes#meaning: it belongs to the person WRITING IT not to the platform it's posted on.#meaning Automattic doesn't actl have the legal right to sell access to it#but obvsl US courts wrongly disagree with me#but anyway#minitagrants#Our Staff#Articles#informative reblogs
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why is every youtube drama nowadays such a nonissue lmfao
#like. before they were still fucking stupid but at least they were things that should've been addressed#now it's just “youtuber hurt my feelings and this secretly means they do really bad things to people behind closed doors xoxo💋”#and its always just ppl treating the internet as their personal jury#when the matter couldve been so easily solved with like. three dms#GOD im just tired of everythingggg 🫠#this is abt a bunch of stuff that i def dont want to get involved in so im not tagging/mentioning any of it. sorry for vague posting!#vagueposting#<- incase ppl have the tag blocked <3#they should make a “dying in a glue trap” emoji bc sometimes 🫠 just doesnt cut it ¯\_(ツ)_/¯#theres always absolutely NO PROOF either but everyone blows it way out of proportion#and acts like the youtuber like doxxed someone and conducted a smear/harassment campaign against a ten year old#whtever. back to my carefully curated hole-of-not-caring :D!!#rambles yadda yadda#uhhh if anyone wants this tagged as ranting lmk!#not sure if it counted bc most of it is in the tags but idk#personal yadda yadda
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