#idk I just dislike how aging is being seen these days in the internet
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i have an issue I see with ppl trying to make shippers "understand" their ship could not become canon, and I dont think many would expect it.
Why are we pretending being in your late 30s is being middle age? Dont get me wrong, being a middle aged person doesn't have to mean anything about someone, but its just- not middle age literally.
I dont really understand bringing that up anyways, iit feels wrong to me to believe just ppl in their teens and 20s could ever do anything pro LGBT+ in general... I find it insulting, as if this is a new thing or impossible to believe older people could believe in queerness in a positive light or be queer themselves. The main reason in the west, and im assuming other parts of the world, there arent as many or as visible is, well, because people were dying because of the AIDS crisis + the isolation from being older and every single public space made for or just young queers or cishet older adults.
I get the point, but if I remember correctly every time I see someone trying to do that (of course im believing they have the best intentions in mind), they have to bring up how this is a Japanese middle aged man as a good enough reason.
I don't really mind about what others want to believe or how much they care in terms of shipping -if you prefer to be casual and not paying that much attention to what's canon or not, good for you! Many ppl are also like that and its completely valid, here in this side of Tumblr might seem like all of us believe and theorize about their endgame potential bc we are the ones that usually make more posts or longer content. But I dont like those assumptions about queerness being tied to young westerners, and I wanted to rant a little bit.
Again, I dont believe that was the intention in any of those posts, and im not trying to call out anyone, just rant.
#grrr talking#I just researched a little bit and well#Kaito who wrote blue flag with the first queer protagonists being serialized by shonen jump#he is literally just 2 years younger than horikoshi#he ended blue flag when he was 31#idk I just dislike how aging is being seen these days in the internet#we could say middle age starts around 45-60s depending on how long ppl usually live in your area#it would be a little worrying if 37 is considered middle aged considering ppl in Japan are known for living until their late 80s-90s#and stilllll#what's up with the age???#bring up the demographic bring up resistance from fans or how he just might not want to be remembered like that or be interested#but bringing age? why everybody that does this brings up age?#and also the sexuality of ppl we dont know#that has nothing to do with anything#an author being queer doesnt mean they want to make queer stories or characters#and an author not being queer doesnt mean they just want cishet stories#idk if I sound mean#I swear im just ranting ajdhjfhkdfshfksjh#you can look away folks
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Survey #304
âsheâs got a hold on me / maybe she is just what they want me to beâ
How many foreign friends do you have? Only one that I know of that actually immigrated into America in their life. I think. In which countries do they live? She was born in Asia, either China or Japan. What was your dream birthday party as a kid? I either wanted to go to the skating rink or Chuck E. Cheese. Have you ever come up with your own game? As a kid, definitely. Whose hand did you hold last? Probably my niece's or nephew's if they were taking me somewhere. What was the last thing you planted? Habaneros, I think. Do you have a green thumb or are you all thumbs with plants? I don't really try with plants because I'm not interested in the maintenance. What or who was the last thing you gossiped about? Does telling your therapist about another person and what they do to stress you out count? lol Any books on your night stand? Wings of Fire: The Brightest Night. Would you ever consider going vegetarian? I was briefly one, but I had to introduce meat back into my diet because I just hate too many foods needed to keep me healthy without meat. I would love love LOVE to go vegan, but I just can't. When's the last time you helped a senior citizen somehow? Probably holding open a door for someone in a wheelchair. What's the most selfless act you have done? I don't know... Maybe letting my mother use all my Christmas and birthday money (which was a lot) to take care of bills to keep us from being evicted and losing the car. She was going to pay me back, but then cancer happened. Have you ever intentionally fed a house spider? No. What makes you feel lucky? The fact I have a roof over my head, food on the table, access to water... That kind of stuff. Never take it for granted. How many Lidls are there in your town? One. Last time you went to Ikea, what did you buy? I don't believe we've ever bought anything from there? But I wouldn't really know. How do you like your favorite beverage? Really cold in a can, heeeeell yeah. What's your big family secret? We don't really have one. What did you think you were good at, until you saw someone else do it? I remember thinking I was the "gifted" artist in school until I met my acquaintance Cailin in the 5th grade, lol. She is SO talented. What is something nice going on in your life right now? My partial hospitalization program is going well. I'm getting more comfortable with talking via things like Zoom, it's a good opportunity for me to socialize with like-minded people almost every day, and I ADORE one of the teachers so much so that I want him to be my normal therapist. I have never in the entirety of my life felt less judged and more cared for from any therapist before him, and it's almost supernatural how easily this man reads people. You could twitch a certain way and he picks it up. I'm ready for him to teach more of the sessions. What was the pinnacle of wealth to you as a child? The idea of owning one of those toy crane machines, haha. If I saw one in a store, I would like beeeeg for it. I remember I cried once when I came across one I adored, it was just too expensive, lol. I did eventually get a little one, I think. What's something that you hate, but can't live without? My meds. What skill do you not talk about, because you feel it sounds like bragging? I don't really brag about anything I think I'm good at because I feel bad about it and don't wanna emit a "better than you" vibe. Who's the worst person you've encountered on the Internet? Ahhh, a lovely "friend" nicknamed Shakes. God she hated me. If death wasn't a consequence, what would you try? Probably ride a motorcycle. I'm too scared to risk the possibility of crashing, and those wrecks are nasty. What's the dumbest thing you've heard someone say? There's this one video of a TV show host thinking the moon was a planet and it was just- What is the worst smell you can remember? This smell was forever branded into my memory as if it was fuckin trauma. When my late dog Teddy had a massive, infected cyst near his ~you know~ and also wore diapers because of incontinence with his age (also keep in mind he had a UTI we couldn't afford to fix, and that smells bad enough), changing the diaper he would wear overnight could, swear to God, be enough to make you puke. It literally came to a point that I personally could no longer do it. It sounds so so bad and selfish, and it probably is, but Mom had to do it before she left and came home from work; she's way less fazed by stuff like that than me. Yes, when we had the money, we got the cyst removed. What song gets better the louder it gets? Only like, every song I enjoy. The louder the better until it becomes obnoxious to others. What's the biggest inconvenience that does NOT ruin your day? Having to pee at like an unnatural frequency? haha What's something everybody should know how to do? Cook... which I don't know how to do. What is a great movie no one knows about? I'unno. I don't really know the success level of most movies unless you see stuff about it everywhere. What type of person could the world use less of? Rapists, pedophiles, monsters like that. What makes you tingle? I have this odd reaction to rubbing my hand while someone is holding it???? idk why????? Whatâs the best Wi-Fi name youâve seen? Oh MAN, I wish I could remember 'em all. I've seen some goodies. What's easy to learn, but hard to master? God, it's pathetic that my immediate response is related to a video game, haha. Then again it's such a common idea that it's basically a meme in the World of Warcraft community. So, playing hunters in the game. They're argued to be one of the - if not the - easiest classes in the game that requires little to no skill, while as a hunter main, I disagree with the second part firmly. I don't know about the other specializations because I don't play them, but at least in beast mastery, it takes focus and thinking ahead to master your rotation for optimal damage and just to generally be a skilled player of the class. Not to mention you need to watch your pet(s), too. What's something you've changed your opinion on? Wow, LOTS. Tons of political ideas, like my stance on gay rights, transgender folks, etc... If you had a refilling bowl, what would you want it to contain? For some reason my mind immediately jumped to fresh strawberries. I'm picky with the firmness of fruit, so I won't eat them if they're older because ew. If your bedroom had three portals to anywhere, where would they lead? I mean this in the least creepy way possible, but Sara's house so we could actually hang out, Dad's house so I could see him more, and then uhhh South Africa to regularly see meerkitties. You can ask any author one question about their story. What do you ask? Oh, I dunno. I've got some for writers of other media, but I guess by "author," you mean this is for books exclusively. If you have caffeine late in the day, does it cause you to struggle with your sleep? Shit, I wouldn't even know because I essentially always have caffeine in my system. I don't believe it affects me. When you struggle to sleep, what do you do instead? Keep trying to sleep, or more common than not, I do exactly what you shouldn't do and get back on the laptop for a while. Who was the last person you spoke to for the first time? How did you come to speak to this person? My most recent therapist in the PHP. I love love love him. The therapists rotate the days they teach, and he was the last one I met. Are there any TV shows from your childhood that you still watch today? I'm not opposed to it if I actually watched television. Do you enjoy buying gifts for other people, or do you never know what to buy them? If I actually have the money to, omg yes. I honestly do think I create or buy very thoughtful gifts, and I just really enjoy reminding other people that I love and think about them. Who were you with the last time you went out for a meal? My sisters, Mom, and I went to the Cheesecake Factory for my birthday dinner. That place has come to oust Olive Garden as my favorite restaurant, haha. Whatâs the last thing you watched on TV? Is this a programme you watch regularly? I believe it was this amateur cooking show called Nailed It!, I think it was, with my mom when I sat in the living room with her for dinner one night. Do you have a favorite documentary subject (eg. nature, celebrities, history, crime)? Absolutely animals. Does having to wear a mask stop you from doing anything, just because you dislike them or find them uncomfortable? Do not fucking talk to me if you're anti-mask. If I set foot in public, I'm wearing a mask like a goddamn considerate human being. Do you prefer zip-up or overhead hoodies? Overhead. I really dislike the appearance of zippers on them. If you have a yard or garden, how much time do you spend out there? N/A When was the last time someone bought you flowers? What was the occasion? I think it was the first time Tyler came to my house. This was quite a few years ago. When was the last time you stayed overnight away from home? Was this with friends, family or in a hotel somewhere? What was the occasion? Hell, I'm pretty sure I haven't slept over anywhere since the last time I was visiting Sara, which was like, two years ago. Whatâs your favorite period to learn about in history? What got you interested in this particular era? The Renaissance; I always found it to be an attractive subject, art being in its "glory days" and all. My Art History course in college really hooked me in. What is the smallest thing you lose your temper over instantly? Homophobic bullshit. What's a job that doesn't get enough respect? As others have said before me, teachers might just top the list. The shit they gotta put up with for so little pay... What did you take for granted until you visited another country? I've never left America, so I wouldn't know. Who is your favorite scientist and why? I don't have a favorite; I don't know nearly enough about any. Do you prefer emoticons or emoji? I'm from the emoticons era, so I'm biased, haha. How did you meet your pet? Roman was the kitten of one of my sister's mother-in-law's females. They have quite a cat problem and wanted to adopt the kittens out, and Mom knew I desperately wanted a cat, so there we go. One day when we were over there, she showed me the kittens, and Roman caught my eye instantly with his beautiful blue eyes. Venus, I "met" via the Morph Market, a reptile hub website for selling, as the name implies, reptiles that are generally morphs of their species. I was clicking through the genes, keeping my price ceiling in mind, and really fell in love with champagnes, and I thought Venus in specific was just absolutely beautiful. I officially met her as a little thing mailed to me, and she was and still is just the sweetest. I wanna point out that when I chose Venus, I hadn't the slightest idea that champagnes harbored "the spider gene," as otherwise I would have avoided adopting her and feeding the market. Regardless, I love her to death and wouldn't trade her out. Did/Do you have any PEZ dispensers? I did as a kiddo, yeah. Do you enjoy erotic stories? If so, do you read them or write them? No; they make me really uncomfortable. When writing RP, some scenes can get sexual, but I have my limits for sure and know when to stop writing and just time-skip. If you had to choose, which one would you rather have: a pet or a baby? Keep the baby away from me. Gimme a plains hognose or tarantula, please. ^Why did you choose the one you chose? I don't want kids at all but would love the mentioned animals as pets. Do you live with your parents or on your own/with a partner? I live with my mother. What's the car of your dreams? I don't have a "dream car." Have you ever witnessed something or someone die? Animals, yes. Has anyone ever told you that you snore or talk in your sleep? I don't snore, but I talk a LOT. Do you have any houseplants? No. Are you more on a laptop or a desktop computer? I only have a laptop, and I prefer them for portability's sake. If you could do absolutely anything, what would you like to do the most? Entirely leave behind my anxiety, probably. Or PTSD. Do you think your parents raised you well? Yeah. Dad didn't really take much part in "raising" us/enforcing rules and stuff, but hey, my sisters and I wound up being good people. Do you have a Facebook? Yeah. Do you know any of your neighbors? Definitely not well. We haven't lived here long at all. Does/did any of your relatives have an interesting, nowadays unusual job? I'm sure somebody does. Have you met your ideal partner yet? I think so. Have you had a serious relationship yet? If so, how many? Yeah, two. Do you enjoy books, magazines or comic books the most? Books. Are your parents old-fashioned or up-to-date about certain things? Dad is more old-fashioned I think, while Mom is pretty up-to-date. Do you or did you at some point keep a diary? I very briefly did on a few occasions. I always had a journal I wrote in during all my hospital stays. Have you ever upcycled trash into useful items? I remember I once followed this craft idea on Animal Planet where you turn a milk jug into a bird house. We never got any birds in it, though. Which color Skittle do you like best? The only right answer is red. Whatâs your favorite element? Of the classic four, fire. If you had your own radio show, what would it be like? YIKES, I don't want one. Don't make me talk in front of (through a radio or not) people. What has been the biggest surprise youâve ever gotten? An "impossible" breakup over Facebook Messenger lmaoooo. Is there a holiday you canât stand at all? There aren't any that I "can't stand," but I do hold at least some degree of dislike of ones bastardized by religion. It's disrespectful as fuck. Who is your favorite person in the whole world? My mom. Has there ever been an activity you became obsessed with? I was definitely obsessed with RPing in my early teens. Like, I ALWAYS wanted to be writing it. What has been the strangest place you ran into someone from your past? I can't think of an occurance. What is something people tend to come to you about? Anything related to English and grammar. If applicable, what's the furthest you've traveled because of a hobby? For purely a hobby, definitely not very far, partially because I can't drive or afford travelling via plane or whatever. Do you have souvenirs from other countries? If so, what and from where? N/A What do you do when someone is talking to you about something you don't care about? Pretend to be interested to avoid being rude. Do you have Photoshop installed on your computer? Yeah. Do you put lotion on after you get out of the shower? No, but I need to. Has anyone ever given you a promise ring? No. Do you have any bruises on you? Yeah, on my shin. When getting in Ash's van the other day, I hit it against the thing that helps you step up into the vehicle. Because of my muscle atrophy, I, and I am not kidding, can barely manage to absolutely yank myself up there. And mind you, her van isn't even very high up at all. My legs are just that damn weak. Any changes in appearance lately? Gaining weight is fucking lovely. Who was the last person to call you babe or baby? Probably a gal friend commenting on a selfie or something on Facebook. Do you hate the person you fell hardest for? Sometimes. Do you actually care about other's problems? Probably too much for my own good. Have you ever gotten a teddy bear from someone? Besides my mom, I don't think so.
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Great points about Twitter. What I love is all the experts on other peopleâs lives. I understand being a fan but itâs just crazy to me that people think they know whatâs best for ppl they barely know. Iâm sorry Iâm not taking life advice from strangers on the internet just because you say youâre a fan. Iâm sure these celebs appreciate us being fans but lets stay in our lane. What these celebs do with their lives is their business. We are there to support & enjoy them on the screen fr a distance
And most of those people could not even IMAGINE going up to a person they barely knew and making such bold claims about their lives and choices. Hell, most of the stuff people tell random celebrities on twitter to do I wouldnât say to my best friend.
âCelebrityâ at this point is treated nearly like itâs own sub-species. It always feels like celebrities are treated one of two ways at all times; like theyâre more than human, a âgodlikeâ figure who should be praised, or less than human, like an object for other peoples enjoyment.
Itâs WILD how much we have dissociated the human aspects of a person with their noteriety. Celebrities are entirely our own creation, because of our interest in them and how we treat them.
Itâs one thing to compliment them on the thing that have created, or to even critique it! But the way you do it matter so much!! Why because this person stars in a tv show we like do we think we can tell them who they should be with, what they should be speaking out for, how they should be behaving, hell, even just for being the actor who portrays a characters storyline you have feelings about that THEY DID NOT WRITE?
I donât think celebrities intrinsically dislike talking about the art forms that they create but that is so often ... not what people on twitter or the general public talk to them about. With every tweet that says âI loved your performance tonight! I got so emotional when you started crying! I really felt itâ there are 10 that just say ânotice meâ âyouâre a fucking waste of space, go dieâ âi love youâ âwhy donât you spend more time with so and soâ âYou and so and so should get married!!!â âYou treated her like shit in that episode, youâre a piece of trashâ etc. etc. etc. There are so many more these where the first I thought of that I remember specifically having seen. Itâs exhausting.
And at the end of the day, that persons job, the thing they are in the spotlight for, is often just one thing, like acting. So why do we think anything else is up for discussion? Or give them this great power outside of that? I get that their large following has power, but arenât we kind of tired of letting people who got famous for writing song lyrics be the driving force behind nearly every prolitical/social movement? Why do we give them so much power over something that has nothing to do with the reason they are in the public eye to begin with?
Idk I go back and forth, I do think itâs important for people in positions of power or with large audiences to speak out for the underrepresented. But at a certain point, we need to stop listening to them, and start listening to the people who actually have the expertise and personal experience when it comes to stuff like that. We shouldnât need an actor who played a gay character on tv at a Pride Parade to make us care about the LGBTQ+ community.
I dunno, maybe Iâm getting off track here haha I just think the way we treat celebrities, especially in the age of social media, fundamentally, has really broad and negative consequences for society.
#fuck it im tagging the fandoms i see this shit happening in#the flash#taylor swift#stranger things#glee#brooklyn nine nine#twitter#time vault
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725
Your name? Robyn. Age? Just turned 22. Ugh, Iâve finally reached the point where future ages â other than 30/40/50 etc â wonât be much of a milestone anymore. I can hear Monica Geller tell me, âwelcome to the real world, it sucks.â Gender? Identify as female. Ethnic background? I usually just say Filipino to make it easier but technically Iâm mostly Tagalog with a bit of Mangyan and Ilokano and I think BulakeĂąo? in me. What do you like the most about your ethnic background? Itâs hard to find anything to be proud of from being Filipino sksksk I like our cuisine I guess? Especially the seafood?
The least? Itâs not something I dislike directly about our own background, because what I like the least is the hundreds of years of colonization by four different nations that led to the near-complete wipeout of our native culture and the severe colonial effects that followed. The reason I find it so hard to rack my brain for stuff about our âethnic backgroundâ is because everything about it has already been penetrated by Spanish, English, Japanese, or American influence, even down to how well I can speak English right now. Itâs almost impossible to look for something thatâs ours. Who is your favorite golf player? Iâve never liked watching golf. Whats your favorite kind of gold? (White, Yellow, Rose, Traditional) Rose gold looks pretty. Would you rather wear turquoise pants or purple? Highkey would not wear either of these but if it came down to it, purple. Would you ever go on a jungle safari? I kind of already did. It was a lot of fun and I would rather keep going to safaris if I wanted to see wild animals as itâs a much lesser evil than zoos. If you saw a UFO what would you do? Hope my fingers are quick enough and immediately take a video. What color is your mailbox? We donât have one. Mailmen just place it by the handle of our screen door. Are you taller than your Mom? No, Iâm the smallest one in the family. Who is your meanest friend? I never really counted Patrice as a friend but sheâs been the least nice acquaintance I remember having. Her attitude is actually the reason I hadnât seen her as a friend, so that said I wouldnât really be befriending anyone who I thought isnât very nice. Have you ever thought about suicide? Yeah, well Iâm not exactly the most mentally well person durrrr. I donât think of it as often as I used to, but itâll cross my mind more or less once a month. Have you ever broken a pinata? Iâve never had that experience before actually. Iâve only seen it in cartoons. Who loves Orange Soda? I donât like soda, period. Where did you go the last time you used public transportation? I dunno if it counts because the jeep just goes around the campus hahaha but I took a jeep coming from CAL going to CMC, my home college. My dad accidentally drove the car I was gonna use that day so I had to book a Grab (our local Uber; also I canât do public transpo for long distances hence the private car, heh) going to school, and then the campus jeeps to go from one class to another. If you were to start a band what would you name it? Never hire me to name stuff. Would you rather spend a year in the abyss or outer space? Outer space. Itâs where Iâve always wanted to go anyway. I fear for my sanity if I wind up in the abyss. Do you know someone who has shot off a part of their own body? No but I know someone who had been shot (or stabbed? I canât remember but he was attacked); it was my Kuyaâs close friend. What TV shows stick out from your childhood? Mr. Bean, Pokemon, SpongeBob, Jimmy Neutron, Drake and Josh, The Suite Life of Zack and Cody, Thatâs so Raven, to name a few. What is/was for dinner tonight? No idea yet. My dad usually whips something up at the last minute but it always turns out so so good. Whatâs really the best cure for a hangover? FRIED CHICKEN and I will die on this hill. Do you eat the stems of broccoli? Oooh I donât think thatâs been served to me before actually. Iâm not opposed to trying them though cause broccoliâs my favorite vegetable. How many cavities do you have? I had a couple before but theyâve since been fixed at the dentist. Have you ever given money to a bum? Yes I always give them money ranging from âą10 to âą20, and biscuits if I have some in my bag, if they knock on my window. If you found 100 dollars on the floor of a church what would ya do with it? If I found it in a church Iâd absolutely run the fuck away with the money lmao. Is your head a fun place to be in? Iâm a bit of a workaholic and am always thinking about the next thing to accomplish, so tbh I imagine it looking like Spongebobâs brain HAHAHAHA as in exactly this shot
What is your favorite word? Poignant to me sounds and looks the way it means, which is so satisfying. Why is going to poop such a social taboo? We covered a bit of this in my anthropology class last semester and our prof shared a theory that says our body is in and of itself clean but once substances exit the body theyâre seen as impure and already dirty - which is why weâll have no problem talking about the circulatory system but many tend to faint if they cut their finger too much and see blood leaking out of them. Same explanation goes with poop, saliva, sweat, etc. Iâm too lazy to check my notes if every bit of this is accurate, but the impure/dirty is the one I remember to be correct. Who is your worst enemy? Donât really like the idea of enemies per se but after Marielle betrayed my trust twice I vowed to never speak with her again, and I never have. When was the last time you passed gas? I donât like farting. If I feel one coming I suppress it on purpose. Do you eat raw hot dogs? No, that sounds so nasty. Do you ever speak out loud what you should be typing? Eh, sometimes and only if Iâm by myself. Itâs not a habit though. Do you own a squirt gun? We call them a water gun here but it used to be one of my favorite toys from childhood. I donât own one anymore as I largely donât need them. Do you like the Subway $5 footlong? I donât really eat Subway. What is the last thing you ate with Marshmallow in it? Hate marshmallows. I always remove it if it had been added to the food Iâm eating. Would you rather live in a shack on the beach or a mansion in Ohio? I love you beach, but Iâm taking the damn mansion lol. Do you believe that zombies could really invade the Earth? I donât think zombies could ever surface naturally but at some point in the distant future, when technology and human knowledge advance enough and if someone was ambitious enough to use such knowledge for the worse, I feel like some chemical or substance causing someone to become a zombie could be made. Idk, people have come up with crazy shit from science that were initially thought to be impossible so for me Iâm not ruling out zombies or at least a milder version of them haha. If you were to buy a boat what would you name it? Margo, as an homage to Margo Martindaleâs role from BoJack Horseman. Who is your internet provider? PLDT. What has the tv show two and a half men taught you? Nothing, because Iâve never watched an episode. Whatâs something youâre not supposed to be doing right now? Not thinking about my unfinished thesis. I should definitely be thinking about it right now lol. Whatâs hotter topless or pantless? A bit TMI considering the time ksksks but topless for me. What would you do if you found a four leaf clover? I donât know what thatâs supposed to mean (but I wanna say it means good luck?) so maybe Iâll just take a photo of it heh. Miami Dolphins or NY Jets? I donât even know what sport these teams belong to. What is your favorite kind of instant popcorn? I donât like popcorn, so itâs a pass for me. Do you pay attention to the expiration dates on food? Yeah I check on them quite often since I once had a terrible experience drinking spoiled milk; but Iâve also been told by my dad that the expiration dates donât necessarily mean spoilage and molds and all that nasty crap, and that the date just means by when the productâs quality will slowly start to decrease, like if chips start to get tougher to chew or if a chocolate bar becomes less sweet. Itâs a source of relief, but Iâm still paranoid about expiration dates overall. What ringtone is on your phone? Just the ones Apple provides. What odd thing do you wish you were doing right now? Driving in circles around the village just to enjoy the outside world :( Are you a smoker? Socially. How do you feel about not being able to smoke in a lot of bars? I donât mind it. Iâm not desperate to smoke ever.
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1811.
Have you ever had a computer virus before? yeah
Are you dependent upon anyone? yes
Are there any book characters youâd like to portray? sure.
Who did you last text? my sis
Is there anything on your bed right now? blankets and pillows
When was the last time you went to the grocery store? last week i think What way would you like to die when itâs your time? idk
What are you most afraid of in the world? losing people i love
Have you ever been caving? iâve been in a cave
Do you do well in math related things? no
What is your favorite fruit? blueberrise
If you had to choose, which sibling would you live with? my sister
Do you have any tattoos? yeah
Are you planning on getting any in the near future? No.
When was your last date? valentines day
When did you get Facebook? 2008
Are any of your family members in jail? no
What was your first petâs name? Ginger
Are you good when it comes to computer issues? iâm alright
Are there any people at your job who absolutely hates you? -
What was the last book you read? Catching Fire
Have you ever read any books in one day? yes
What was the last thing you bought? dvds
What are your plans for tomorrow? nothing
Is there any jewelry you wear constantly? yes
Are your fingernails painted at the moment? no
Do you prefer cool, warm or neutral colors? warm
Have you ever taken art classes? no
Whatâs the most boring movie youâve ever seen? idk
Do you know how to work a cash register? yes
Fact or fiction novels? both
Have you ever suffered from depression? yes
Do you think youâre a clingy person? no
Do you enjoy kisses on the cheek? sure
Have you ever been in a physical fight before? no
How often would you say you disagree with your parents? often iâm sure
What color shirt did you wear yesterday? black
Do you have a job? If so, do you like it? no
Have you ever been called a slut before? yeah
Whatâs something youâve been craving? mexican food
Have you ever slept with your window open? yes
Can you play violin? no
What was the last desert you had? chooclate
Have you ever had a wild animal as a pet? no
Do you know anyone you talk to on Facebook but wonât talk to in person? yes
What color are your motherâs eyes? hazel
Do you have a best friend? If so, how long have you been best friends? yes. one since we were 13 and one since 2010
Do you cry easily? yes
Have you ever been into a court room? yes
How many necklaces would you say you own? a few
Do you plan on being strict towards your children? yes
Do you own any tie-dye shirts? yes
What would you say is your favorite day of the week? i donât have one
Do you ever wear lipstick? no
Do you own a pool? no
Do you have a Tumblr account? obviously
Would you say youâre overweight? iâm average
How many colors are in your hair? one
Do you flirt with a lot of people? no
How many bank accounts do you have? 1
Have you ever been falsely accused of starting drama? Probably.
How old are you? 29
Do you attend church regularly? i wish
Have you ever found a song that describes your whole life? probably
What time did you wake up this morning? 10am
What time do you plan on waking up tomorrow morning? iâm sleeping in
What kind of car do you drive? a chevy cruze
What kind of car would you like to have? 1967 chevy impala
Have you ever been to Dairy Queen? If so, whatâs your favorite thing to eat from there? yeah. a burger
How old did you turn on your last birthday? 29
Ever felt like falling apart? yes
Have you ever been in an ambulance? yes
Do you tend to worry a lot? yes
How old were you when you lost your first tooth? 7 i think
Do you remember your first time on the internet? yes
Which website do you email from? yahoo
Do you enjoy receiving souvenirs? yes
Do you get angry with people easily? lately yes
Do a lot of people dislike you or is it the other way around? people dislike me iâm sure
Have you ever had the flu? yes
What about strep throat? no
What would you say is the worst kind of emotional pain? um all kinda
Have you ever been to a psychologist? yes
Whatâs the worst part about school? waking up early
Do you normally have a lot of homework, if youâre still in school? -
When was your last vacation? idk
Would you ever consider going on a cruise? idk
What did you last buy from the store? food
Would you say you enjoy being single or in a relationship more? i mean i like being married so
Do you try to stay busy a lot? i suppose
Whatâs your favorite quote? "i am fucking crazy but i am freeâ
Do you lie a lot? no
Do you still act childish most of the time? probably
Did you ever enjoy gym class? no
What is your biggest insecurity? everything
Have you ever painted a room alone? no
Speaking of which, when did you last paint your room? when i was a teen
What does your favorite jacket / hoodie look like? itâs grey and my husbands lol
Whatâs for dinner tonight? we had mexican
Do you ever drink alcohol? yes
Have you ever had a terrible hangover? yes
Do you ever get migraines? no
Do you know how to garden? yeah
What was the last thing you plugged into an outlet? charger iâm sure
Do people consider you to be a funny person? i think so
Do you have any bad habits? well yeah
Do you like children? If not, why is this? yes
What is your favorite snack? string cheese
Do you own any gaming systems? yes
How old were your parents when they had you? my mom was 29. i think my dad was 25
Is there a big age difference between you and the person you like? just 5 years
Do you trashtalk people a lot? yeah lol
What is the most amusing thing on the internet, in your opinion? "wokeâ teens
Does the future excite you or scare you? scares me
Have you ever been to Disney World? If so, how many times have you been? no
Do you try to spend a lot of time with family? no
How often do you shower? i try to every day
What would you say is your favorite genre of music? metal
Do you need to clean your bedroom? yeah
What do you plan on doing with the rest of your life? idk
Do you enjoy Chinese food? yeah
Do you smile a lot? not really
What is your favorite movie from the nineties? Titanic
Which decade were you born in? 90s
Are you good at giving advice to people? >> I donât know, I donât usually do it.
How many huge secrets do you have? a few
How many people know these secrets? a few
How many times a day do you brush your teeth? twice
Do you ever floss? yes
Have you ever been in a long-term relationship? yes
Ever considered suicide? If so, did you try to commit suicide? yes and yes but you shouldnât ask people this.
Is there anyone out there who makes you feel completely useless? yes
Do you like texting or calling people more? depends
Whatâs your favorite band? flyleaf
Do you have a lot of friends? no
Have you ever painted something and been impressed by it? no
Would you rather go out to eat or stay in? either is fine
When did you last babysit, if ever? when i was a teen
Do you have any younger siblings? yes
Have you ever thought of someone as useless? idk
Have you ever considered bleaching your hair? yes
Do you drink vitamin water? no
Do you ever straighten your hair? yeah
Whatâs the best way to end a conversation? idk
Are there any old movies you absolutely love? yes
Have you ever had a Big Mac before? yes
Do you think you attract the opposite sex at a reasonable rate? no
Where is your favorite place to travel? idk
What is your goal for the next few months? stay alive
Can you count to ten in another language other than your own? no
Do you own a lot of shoes? no
What is your favorite season and why? spring because the weather
Does photography interest you at all? naw
Have you ever played on a sports team before? If you have, what was that sport and when? yes when i was a kid i played baseball
Have you ever filed a lawsuit on someone? no
Do you think youâre a good singer? yes
Would you rather wear jeans or sweatpants? sweats
Do you think you have a good sense of style? no
Do you enjoy reading often? yes
Have you ever had a deadly illness? no
Ever had food-poisoning before? yes
Where did you last eat dinner at? my house
Have you ever shot a gun before? yes
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Maybe you've answered this before, but why don't you just leave your church? Doesn't it bother you being part of something that rejects you? Don't you want love? I don't understand why gay people ever stay in that church.
I get these questions from time to time. Never sure what to make of them. I get that itâs unusual for a gay guy my age to still be part of church. I hope part of this is they like me and want me to be happier. But it also feels like they are looking down on me, idk.
I donât have a short, simple answer, so strap in, itâs going to be a long ride.
1) I was a teenager in the 1980âs. It is hard to be gay now, but it was so bad back then. Being gay was shameful. The 80â˛s was the AIDS crisis, so mostly what I heard about being gay was death. There were no legal protections, society was against us. Actively hostile, bigoted statements were common. My own dad told homophobic jokes to big laughs. Coming out looked like Iâd be condemning myself to a terrible life and strip all the good things from me.
Also, with no role models, I was having to work through what it means to be gay. I also did manage to get ahold of a gay porn magazine (this is long before internet was a thing). I was crazy to think I could hide it. I shared a room with three brothers so no privacy. Despite my denials, my parents knew this was mine and they were so upset. My dad now tells me he wishes he sent me to conversion therapy once he learned I had this magazine. Can you imagine?
2) I grew up believing in this church, which included the terrible things taught about me as a gay person. At age 19 when my bishop challenged me to pray about going on a mission, I instead prayed to know if God could possibly love me (which is really sad that a kid could grow up in church and not know that). I felt love radiate across my body as a voice in my ear said âYou are not broken.â That experience sustained me for a long time
3) I went on a mission in the 1990âs. If you havenât been on a mission, itâs probably a surprise that it can be a relief. Thereâs no pressure to date. I could form close bonds with other men, and even though these are non-romantic relationships, they are intensely close.
4) I was still in the closet when I went to the church schools in Rexburg & Provo. At the end of my first semester, my roommate came on to me and let me feel him up and stuff. I went to sleep thinking maybe the two of us could leave the church, transfer to a different school, say goodbye to my family and we could have a life together. It would be a huge sacrifice for both of us and I thought he felt the same, but the next morning he turned me in to our bishop. I thought I was going to get kicked out of school, be sent home in disgrace, maybe disciplined out of the church, but instead I was put on probation and had to stay the summer in Rexburg. I was heartbroken and swore off love and focused on school. At the end of the summer, to my surprise the bishop made me the elders quorum president.
That first roommate, we were best friends. He is Bi and decided a life with a woman would be easier, and considering it was the 1990â˛s, he was correct. He left school a few days later, met a woman and got married. I hate how he ended things, but I donât blame him for the future he chose for his life.
5) BYU in Provo was my backup school, and reluctantly itâs where I transferred to. It turned out that I genuinely liked BYU with 2 exceptions, the severe restrictions the Honor Code placed on LGBT students (which was the same as at the Rexburg campus), and the fierceness with which the Honor Code Office sought to enforce those restrictions. Occasionally Iâd hear rumors of sting operations they had done to catch gay students. There was this low-level fear always of getting caught whilst a student in Provo. My roommates also expressed their dislike of anything remotely gay. Even though I kept the rules, I didnât dare tell anyone that Iâm gay because the potential cost was high.
While at BYU I had a major faith crisis. I no longer believed a lot of the truth claims of the church, but I wasnât about to lose all that tuition money. I stuck it out. So not only was I pretending to be straight, I also had to act as though nothing about church bothered me.
6) The same voice that told me I am not broken would occasionally tell me that itâs okay to pursue relationships. It gave me great hope. I still get that message. Being a good Mormon, I thought this meant that somehow God was going to change the church. In the temple Iâd hear that itâs not good for man to be alone and the law of chastity was presented in a way that could include me if I was married to a husband (the temple says no sex except âwith your husband or wife to whom youâre legally and lawfully weddedâ).
7) After BYU, I should have come out and gotten on with life, but I didnât. My first job was working for a Mormon boss. A landlord who is LDS gave me a deal on rent. Coming out seemed like it would disrupt my life in really negative ways. Plus YSA Wards were a source of friends and support network.
8) In my 30âs I was no longer in YSA wards, and the world was getting better for gay people. The fight for gay marriage was in full swing, and so many of the people in my life were very opposed to it. It bothered me that the church was so opposed and fought gay marriage because in my head, it was a way for me to follow Godâs promptings and pursue a relationship.
Being a Mormon is very much an identity. Itâs hard to peel off. Itâs my social network, itâs what much of family life revolves around, Itâs a belief system and way of viewing the world. itâs a map of what oneâs goals in life should be, and so on. Staying in the closet kept the rest of my world intact.
I know youâre thinking wtf, youâre a grown man, own your life!!! I grew up in an unstable family situation (we had many financial troubles and moved frequently), so I crave stability. Remaining in the closet and in the church were keys to maintaining that stability.
9) Squashing all my romantic and sexual feelings also shuts down most other feelings. I spent most of my 20âs & 30âs feeling numb, like I was watching life but not a part of it. I spent those years wishing I was dead, that a bus would hit me or a major disease would strike. Those kinds of deaths would end my misery and also be okay for my family because they wouldnât have to know Iâm gay. I recognize now how messed up that is.
10) The great source of happiness in those years was being an uncle. Iâm the oldest of 7 children, my siblings had lots of babies born in those years. The joys of being an uncle only increased the pressure to stay in the closet and in the church because if I didnât, my only source of happiness might be taken away.
11) I finally reached the point where I was tired of going through the motions of having a life. I was ready to come out. Rather than make some grand announcement, I decided to be honest with anyone who asked about my life. When someone tried to set me up with their friend, I would ask if she had a brother. As these sorts of situations came up, I was coming out to people one by one.
I didnât exactly âcome outâ to my family. I figured since my parents had found the gay porn mag when I was a teen, and then gay porn malware on the computer when I was college student, they probably already knew (and they did, but were in denial). Also, I thought coming out would be saying Iâm not trustworthy and an awful person for having pretended to be something I wasnât for so long (not true, but thatâs how I thought of it).
12) Iâm such a late bloomer that I sometimes am embarrassed about it, especially now that so many people come out in their 20â˛s and even as teenagers. At the first Pride parade I attended, someone told me that we all come out when itâs right for us, and this was my time. I think thatâs true.
13) Most of my adult life in church was being pianist in Primary. Shortly after I started telling people Iâm gay is when I was called to be in the stake young men presidency. My stake president says he looked over at me playing piano one day and thought, âthat man has much more to offer.â I wonder if itâs because I was more confident, my identities were less in conflict than theyâd been in the past, I wasnât afraid and hiding.
As stake young men president, I made sure I knew by name and something about every youth in the stake. I wanted them to know they were seen, they were heard, they were loved. Teens go through such hard things and I wanted to be a kind, supportive person in their life. Most youth donât know who the stake youth leaders are, but they all knew me. Several told me about hard things in their life and some even came out to me. Parents of gay teens would come speak to me and Iâd let them know life in church is hard and unfair, ways they could help support their teen, and prepared them that their childâs likely path would be out of the church. I felt like I bloomed in this calling and made a difference.
14) In 2015 marriage became legal for same-sex couples across the USA due to a Supreme Court ruling. I thought that finally the church would have to come to terms with it and accept it. But then came the November policy banning the children of gay couples from being members. It felt like a punch in the gut and I nearly walked away. I was still stake young men president and weighed whether the difference I made in this calling was worth putting up with how church clearly didnât want me.
15) To help my parents buy a house, I had a bunch of their debt put into my name and I lived in the house with them. At the time it seemed a good way to avoid the loneliness of being on my own. But living with them also made walking away from the church tricky.
16) A month later I hit the 3-year mark of serving in the stake young menâs program, I was released from that and called to be stake executive secretary. My stake president told me that anyone can make appointments, but he wanted my unique viewpoint in all the highest councils of the stake. In this calling I occasionally meet general authorities and I speak with them about being gay in the church. My stake President recently joked that he has twice been a counselor in a stake presidency and now is a stake president, and in those years heâs met many general authorities, yet I have way more impact on them than he ever has.
17) Shortly after getting this new calling, in 2016 I started my tumblr blog. Eventually I used the blog as a way to examine, explore and record what itâs like to be gay in the LDS church. In some ways this blog is one giant pep talk to myself.
18) In 2017 my blog exploded, one of my posts went viral. Itâs almost like God got tired of waiting on me, now I was out to everyone who knows me, and many more.
All of a sudden I had so many hurting Mormon LGBT people contacting me, most were teens and twenty-somethingâs. Iâve tried to help them, to affirm them. In many ways it feels like the years as stake young men president working with teens, the years I spent developing a spiritual independence, the studying & thinking about how being gay can work with the gospel, the fears & worries that are part of being in the closet, all of that prepared me for this.
19) Later in 2017 my mental health dived. I became suicidal. I started therapy. I finally had to face how harmed Iâve been by my time in church. I also had to admit I will never be enough in this church, I can never reach the goals & purpose of life as laid out by the church,. My therapist helped me see that I need another framework for what a successful life looks like and what would make for a joyful life.
In 2018 I was still in therapy and was diagnosed with social anxiety disorder, which partly explains why coming out and leaving the church were so difficult. The major driving motivation of this disorder is wanting to not disappoint people.
20) My therapist says I feel things more deeply than most people, but because Iâd pushed down my feelings so long, itâs actually a bit scary to feel so much. I also started dating and trying to get gay friends. These sorts of big changes were hard for me. The psychologist said, in an amused tone, that I fully examine a path before Iâm willing to take a step down it, meaning Iâm cautious and slow to get going, but am certain when I begin of where Iâm going.
21) Some of my family openly embraces me as gay and loves me no matter what. Some make their love and access to their children conditional on my being in church.
22) I thought 2018 would be the year I leave the church. Thereâs a personal reason I havenât; I feel thereâs one more thing to do, a friend whom I can help. That I came ahead to pave the way for this friend.
I know this all sounds crazy, talking about a voice telling me itâs okay to have gay relationships or that I have some missions in life to accomplish. Thatâs part of faith, I guess.
23) Itâs unfair to say Iâm still attending church for my friend. First, I donât want him to feel any pressure. Second, itâs my decision, not his. I also am working on paying off debt so I can more easily live on my own, Iâve joined Affirmation and met a lot of LGBT Mormons/post-Mormons and feel like thereâs something of a potential support group/friendships there. Iâm thinking of changing jobs, even moving to a different university. In other words, Iâm laying the groundwork to make any shift more smooth. Whether I take a breather from church or not, these are good things to do.
24) Iâm in my 40â˛s and can see that in some important ways Iâve lived a stunted life. But Iâm also able to use my voice to speak up for LGBT individuals inside the church, to try to make this little corner of church kinder and more receptive.
25) I canât even imagine what youâre thinking of me. A hypocrite, someone who stays with an organization that contributed to my own mental health crisis. Someone too afraid to live. I canât undo my past and all that lost time. Iâve made a lot of progress and am moving forward. I also believe and hope that things I share on this blog and things I say in my local church help LGBT members.
Maybe you can understand, maybe you canât, why my life went so differently from yours. Iâm certain you wonât agree with a number of decisions I made, but they were mine to make and they explain where Iâm at now.
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I am literally copying and pasting from Discord heck
You ever just wake up and get a lot of stuff to write down so you jump on that immediately before sleeping again? Like, jump on your computer to type it easier and all that? yeah. ok so I'm gonna honestly sit and hammer out why ZaDr is so shipped, despite the controversial status. Maybe put some logic/reasoning on this extremely old ship, prolly post this up on Tumblr or Twitter. Cause I'm extra about yesterday, and want to at least give people some form of clarity, cause that's nice to have. Ok uh. aHEM ANYWAY blabbing away aside:
ZaDr is extremely popular, and the biggest thing I hear most outta people other than moral out cries of 'age disputes' (we don't know ZIM's real age at all, and it's very possible he very well could still be a kid. There's stuff that supports this, but I'm not here to post my proofs for my very vanilla 'ZIM is actually a kid' AU. Maybe some other time. Whatever, moving on) and 'they hate each other/are enemies disputes' (enemies -> friends, as well as enemies -> romance is an age old trope and everywhere. Seriously. This is in every fandom just about and is inescapable. It even happens in canon in a lot of them.) So here's some clarity on why this gets shipped to hell and back:
The two have a LOT of common, in fact, a LOT more than the rest of the cast do. Their chemistry is prime for shipping compared to everyone else, despite the 'moral issues': -ZIM and Dib are both EXTREMELY passion/overly zealous about their goals, ambitions and beliefs to the point of ludicrousy and mockery. -People don't believe them and do not believe in them. At all. -They crave acceptance in their beliefs and ability to succeed in their goals. -They also crave acceptance/being commended/acknowledged by their superiors, who regularly put them down/mock them over their goals/ambitions/beliefs -They are so so so stubborn about this, despite the clear odds stacked against them -Both have no friends. Both are incredibly lonely and can only, realistically, confide in each other at this point. This has even happened in canon, tho that episode was never finished and aired (Mopiness of Doom) -This is the only ship with an episode like Mopiness of Doom -They fuel each other's ambitions and would be nothing without each other
These are the primary reasons why this gets shipped like crazy. Other ships exist, and boy howdy do I ship some of them too as I am shipping trash, but I'm willing to admit and accept there's very little in the way of 'proof' or chemistry for them. Some ships I ship that have no hope compared to ZaDr honestly:
RaZr: -A common trope. SuperiorxUnderling. But they got nothing going really -Seriously. RED fucking hates ZIM, and while this argument is used against ZaDr, Mopiness still happened. -RED actually regularly tries to get ZIM killed. Same with PURPLE. Both sent him to a part of the universe they thought would yield nothing in the hopes of ZIM dying off from the long travel/never returning/getting lost -All they have going for them is: 1. That trope and 2. They uh grew up together -ZIM will probably someday kill him and PURPLE tbh
TaGr. This is a VERY popular ship... but like: -What... what have they done together in screen time -Or transcripts -Or comics? -No seriously. What? Hardly anything at all. People just ship them cause they're both grumpy and girls tbh.
RaPr is ACTUALLY the only other ship that's very viable and has canon support that I can think of: -I don't have to explain this -Just look at them -They're like. Married, dude! -MARRIED!!!
Gonna get into ships that I see are done to spite ZaDr, which... makes no... sense...Like... why do people ship ships to spite other ships...It's like me going up to a buffet of cakes, seeing people eating chocolate cakes mostly so I pick vanilla just to spite the chocolate cake fans and I'm all " -ZIM LAUGHTER- FOOLS!!! YOU INSOLENT EARTH-PIGS!!!! COWER AND TREMBLE AND CRY FOR I HAVE CHOSEN CHOCOLATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!" like... what are they seriously gonna do....? Drop their cake and cry? No dude they're gonna keep eating lmao
anyway. anyway. salt aside, let's get into this:
GaDr (Gretchen and Dib romance): -Why? -They never... really... maybe a couple times in the comics and once in the show. But that's literally it. -All the people I have personally interacted with who ship this ship proudly proclaim it's to spite ZaDr like. Good for you? -Like dawg it's ok if Shadow is my favorite Sonic character man. You don't... you don't gotta stan Cream the Rabbit just because so many people stan Shadow the Hedgehog. Like it's ok. It's ok. It's ok.
ZaSr (ZIM and Skoodge romance): -I actually enjoy this ship. It can be done cutely, but like... -Dawg, ZIM is AWFUL to Skoodge -Fucks him over -Mocks him -Nearly gets him killed a number of times -They got nothing going for them other than being short, being unfortunate and the same species
ZaTr: -The only straight ship I ship lmao -Ummmm -Again. Why. A lot of these 'spite ships' actually contain the problems people complain about most, but ignore in spite ships or when TAK is in the equation (DaTr) which I don't get, but like hey, I said what I needed to earlier already. -No seriously, WHY? I don't... because... enemies->romance, right? They just don't have enough material. It would be like if ZIM and Dib only had Nightmare Begins are their material, and that's it. If that were so, I too would be saying WHY?
I think this concludes my brain vomit, and I can finally get back to bed, but yeah idk.
Disclaimer: It is fine to like ships, it is fine to dislike ships, but don't be a bully over it. I've seen tireless arguments against ZaDr that are honestly? Easily broken down through a couple google searches. This doesn't invalidate disliking something, but this doesn't mean it's 'right' either. All in all, we're all watching IZ 'wrong' by shipping these characters. Hell, we're watching it 'wrong' by even liking them enough or thinking any of them are cute. Seriously. At the end of the day, Jhonen hates how we're all going about fandom participation, and practically has since day one, even if there was nothing shipped ever (which is impossible tbh.) That's why he stirs the pot. That's why he likes to make crude/random statements just to get easy people riled up, and that's classic 'don't take the bait/feed the trolls' internet 101 at play.
And double Disclaimer: You simply cannot make noise against ZaDr over the joke of ZIM being âOLT AFâ, and then continue on with TaGr and DaTr. You just cannot. You also cannot make noise against ZaDr for âmoralâ reasons and then ignore... DaGr (Dib and Gaz). Seriously. That one has absolutely no fucking defense. None. Thatâs disgusting, thatâs incest, thatâs sick, thatâs Iâm getting off topic but. Still bro.
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I can see it now. In the future. People will say Akito Souma is trans. And I'm here feeling a headache over that assessment of Akito is trans.
I had to think about this for a bit before answering. Sorry, but both my love of in-world cartoon conspiracy theories/headcanons & my dislike of combining people into one giant label make me the worst person to start fandom drama with questions like this.
Hereâs the thing, I can tell you right now there will be 3 (maybe 4) people in the series weâre going to hear trans theories for:
1) Ritsu
2) Akito
3) Yuki
4) (Maybe) Ayame
And thatâs fine. People are allowed to have their head canons & if Iâm searching through the tag & see a post that goes âYuki from Fruits Basket is a transman I donât make the rules.â I can scroll past that easily. That stuff is fine.
Itâs the posts that say the show is garbage because no one is actually trans (except maybe Ritsu- idk I feel like that oneâs the most compelling argument) or winds up in a same-sex relationship that Iâm going to block people for. Similar to Miraculous Ladybug- I donât care if people make posts w/ Marinetteâs hair & eye-color changed or have theories about Adrien being trans. I start blocking people who go into the tag to talk about how the writing & writers are shit for one reason or another and froth at the mouth when their ship doesnât become canon. I also do the same thing for Star vs The Forces of Evil (youâre not escaping the Marco is trans theories in that fandom. You can only let people have fun & block when someone takes things a step too far- like insulting the creators or something).
I think, however, at the end of the day, the largest issue isnât going to be the trans theories. People like to have fun with headcanons for shows they like & if they want to believe Akitoâs trans, then sure. Iâm not gonna stop anyone. For me the greater concern is going to be the age-gap relationships:
Akito & Shigure
Kyoko & Katsuya
Arisa & Kureno
Saki & Kyoâs foster dad (is a gag- theyâre just fucking w/ Kyo & it does not become canon)
Akito & Shigure will be the triggers for this, because that relationship is very toxic, but I think Kyoko & Katsuya will be the larger target for someone starting drama because A) Katsuya was her teacher(âs aid? Idr) & B) the relationship is seen as mostly positive (until Kyotoâs breakdown). Because Akito x Shigure are KNOWN as a fucked up couple, trolls will get more attention from stans if they target the healthier pairings. These are the people Iâm going to look for & block.
Look, this series came out when I was in high school & was my first introduction to fandoms, ever. I literally wore a Kyo beanie during the winter & made collages of cutouts from magazines & pics I printed from the internet. It was my first (and last) RP experience, and it brought me into an amazing group on Gaia who I had so much fun with finding translations for chapter updates & theorizing where the story would go. They were also the group who set me aside as an internet newbie & explained to me why I canât just take translations from someone elseâs website and how to properly share the information while being respectful. Most other communities would have shunned me out for not knowing these things immediately, but that group actually worked with me so I could still participate, and I will always be grateful.
So Iâm not going to be hypocritical & tell someone HOW they should enjoy this series. If someone wants to believe a character is trans or gay, they should have that freedom. However, Iâm not going to give trolls trying to police what is or isnât considered acceptable media the time of day. If you donât like the series then keep moving. Youâre not going to change my mind on this.
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lord of the flies | mock trials
hi everyone!! i played jack merridew in my senior year mock trial, and i had a really hard time figuring out how to answer anything because there is literally no sources on the internet to even slightly help jack defend himself. there is a few, yes, but theyâre mostly written by sixth graders or the opposition, so i decided to help all the jack merridews and the defence team lawyers of the world by posting everything i wrote, answered and behaved as jack. i should probably announce right away that my team did not win the mock trial, but that was because the character witnesses we had besides me were not prepared to be cross-examined, so this is also a friendly reminder to tell your buddies to pick up their slack!! jack canât do it by himself.
Direct examination:
1) Summarize your childhood.
I was born to a rich family who often spoiled me with materialistic luxuries, and sent me to a PEDAGOGIC education facility on top of the additive tutoring classes, however, due to my diligence in my work, I did not have a single friend, as a friend would have âtainted the teachingâ as my mother used to state- i did not have much of a social life, at least until i became leader of choir.
2) Why did you leave Ralphâs tribe?
I left Ralphâs tribe because his way of leadership wasnât fun at the time.
(rules (make this! make that! collect fruit!, meetings.)
3) What was it like under Ralphâs leadership?
Ralph was rather drab as he listened to mostly piggyâs ideas. (conch, uhh, rules, uhh, can i get a number 15, burger king foot lettuce
4) What happened on the night of Simonâs death?
At the start we had prepared meat to be eaten. I supplied even Ralph himself with meat. Nobody objected the meal, except probably andrew, and after the feast we did our dance and we saw a dark figure moving in the bushes. Alarmed, we attacked. Afterwards, we found it was Simon.
5) Why did you become chief?
I became chief because the lifestyle I offered was more appealing to the boys than Ralphâs. No prepubescent boy wants to spend his time lugging around materials for huts or picking coconuts off trees.
6) What was it like when you arrived to the island?
It was unUSUAL, like it would be, for any one of the boys. I doubt anyone wanted to crash-land onto some mysterious island. â this is a really weak answer idk
7) How did you start to feel after spending some time on the island?
I felt better about the situation. It was clear that we needed someone to lead, so I offered to do so.
8) Can you tell us about the events leading up to Piggyâs death?
We had taken piggyâs glasses because we needed them to start a cooking fire to feed the tribe. Afterwards, Ralphâs group came to come get them back. After some heated conversation, Roger got too riled up and triggered the lever that fell onto Piggy and the conch.
9) How did you adjust after you returned back to civilization?
(something along the lines of: when i got back to civilization, the presence of adults and rules led me to return to my civilized self)
I did go to an approved school, after I saw the contrast of myself at home and on the island, which I did continue until I was a young man. After the island, I can safely say that I did return to my old self. (say that without the governing of laws or adults we had all descend into savagery?)
( it helps so so much to memorize your affidavit. )
Affidavit:
SUPREME COURT OF THE UNITED KINGDOM
LONDON, ENGLAND
GREAT BRITAIN )
)
Plaintiff, )
)
vs. )
)
JACK MERRIDEW, )
)
Defendant. )
_____________________)
For a verdict of Innocence
Hello, my name is one Iâm sure youâre all familiar with; Jack Merridew. I am the accused of this case, for which brings me to a type of desolation but which I acknowledge fully. For the purpose of the court, I have been asked to prepare a small insight into my life, prior to arriving on the island, and after the incidents that befell upon all of us.
Iâll begin as early as my memory allows; I was a promising child, born to a affluent family. My parents were good to me, and I had a sheltered childhood where I did not have much chance to experience the outside world; they carried me into my adolescence, for which I respect them deeply. I always did well in school, attended tutoring classes to refine my skills, most of which required me to be very focused, which broadened my book smarts, but restricted crucial knowledge of basic human behaviour. And most importantly; I always got high grades in choir, which eventually found me to become the leader of the school choir. I had to order the other boys to do tasks often, which was quite a different experience than I was used to, and I figured I was good at it after some time.
Naturally, when we arrived on the island, due to the fact I had already had experience leading, which Ralph did not, I felt it was necessary to appoint me as the groupâs leader. I felt unsettled when I did not originally gain power, because I then believed I had all the traits necessary of a leader. Arguably, when I did obtain leadership, I was a leader of questionable practices. Perhaps this was because I was so used to the laws and order of the society I had been groomed into that I became overwhelmed when I suddenly had to create my own. On the island, we were forced to take actions in our own hands, and make decisions for the group instead of the individual, which sometimes doesnât parallel with whatâs ethical. After my experience on the island, I pleaded my parents to send me to an approved school so I could forget the island in sort of skewed way, to which I attended until I was a young adult. Now I exist as a quiet young teacher, working in the same area I had grown up in-- London, that is-- I teach history and also instruct a single after school music class. As I aged, I felt a growing sense of remorse towards those wronged on the island, but not once did I ever feel as if I was indebted to them nor their families.
In my experience leading the boys of the island, I had to experience many tragedies that I feel sorrowful towards but not liable for... I am mainly being blamed for the situations because of my position of power over the other boys, which I understand. As an eyewitness of the events that came upon the island, I feel responsibility to give my truth to the story.
During my time on the island, I was subjected to many unfamiliar situations. for instance, the death of the child with the mulberry birthmark, the first tragedy to come about. The child died, presumably from the fire that had accidentally devastated a small part of the island while we attempted to make signal fire. This is where my questions arose for the usefulness of the signal fire that Ralph pushed so insistently began.
The second death was Simonâs. Simonâs passing was the result of ignorance on our parts. We believed he was the beast, we had limited vision due to the darkness of night and Simon was crawling through the bush, where we could not possibly see. Simonâs death, although a terrible occurrence, was not murder; we simply had no idea. Finally, the death of Piggy heeds a similar answer; we hadnât the simplest clue that he was to die, as Roger pulled the lever and Piggy, without his specs, could not spot the boulder in time to move out of the way. Although we had nicked Piggyâs specs, We had no idea that this would have been the cause of his untimely demise, therefore I cannot claim responsibility for something that was not my doing.
Character Sketch:
Parentâs names:
Mother (Anne Taylor Merridew, maiden name Millar)
Father (William Merridew)
School attended prior to the island : Westminster Abbey Choir School (London)
School attended post-island : St Peterâs school (York)
Age on the island: 14
Age now: 24
Past residence: Monck street, house no. 12
Current: Tufton street, house no. 102
I am playing Jack Merridew, a fictional main character from Lord of the Flies. In the novel, Jack is portrayed as a very hard-headed, aggressive young leader with a lot of spite built up in him for Ralph and some of the other boys on the island. He preys on weakness, and dislikes societal order. For my own entertainment purposes, I have distinctly chosen Jack to hide this side of him and have the appearance of a very reasonable, calm man who wants nothing but resolve between himself and the families that feel wronged by him.
I intend to play Jack to have very indifferent behaviour. Iâll make it so that Jack appears to be very analytical and calculating, conscious of his own actions, but on the inside he actually doesnât care that much for the deaths of the two boys, because they are seen as an irrelevance to him, especially since he doesnât think their deaths were caused by him. Jack will be quite sure of himself, but not cocky, as he wants to appear as if heâs had a huge humbling from the island, although he perhaps really hasnât changed that much, aside from being more discreet about his callous ways.
Jack will have some quirks, like blinking when he is faced with a question that he knows he can answer perfectly, and he will have a tendency to smile and stare directly at those prosecuting him to show his confidence, especially if theyâre asking him a question he doesnât think he can answer, so he doesnât show his nervousness. Jack, deep-down, may have more insecurities than the other boys. He needs reassurance and safety, and without it he feels like heâs walking blind.
pointers:
+ be vague in your answering, but not too vague. the only thing they could object to during my cross-examination was my contempt of court, e.g: dancing around the subject, not answering and adding a bunch of random things to the answer, like; âit was a beautiful day, the sun was out--â iâm a writer so i had to try really hard not to do this.
+ do not show nervousness. itâs really hard to be confident on the stand, but you should try your best. there is usually a reason that the teacher chooses you to be jack!
+ at the end of the day, remember that this is just a class project. i probably had ten million panic attacks the days leading up to the mock trial, and thatâs not ok. if you need someone to give you peace of mind, my message box is open!!
#lord of the flies#lotf#jack merridew#lord of the flies mock trial#mock trial#school#education#ralph#simon
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Survey #244
âyou could stand me up at the gates of hell, but i wonât back down.â
What accent do you find most difficult to understand? Heavy southern. Has your music taste changed over the years? Not very. I do like more indie stuff now than I used to, though. What movie never fails to make you cry? The Notebook. What movies do you think need a sequel? Hm... I'm sure there's plenty, but they're evading me for now. Let's see... yeah idk. Do you have to see it to believe it? I mean it depends; see what exactly? But in general, yeah. I believe in spirits, maybe even auras, stuff like that. What was the last thing you bought for yourself? Food. Do you like 3D movies? Yeah, they're cool. Have you ever had breakfast in bed? Not the "my partner brought me food and it's romantic" type of way; I've just eaten breakfast food in bed. Have you ever practiced kissing on a stuffed animal? No, that's always been. p wild to me. Do you still talk to your childhood friends? A few. True/False: You live with your parents. Just one. At the dinner table do you always sit in the same chair? We rarely eat at the table, but generally, yes. Is your signature legible? I think so. Have you met any bands/singers? No. Have you ever witnessed a miracle? No. Do you know someone that looks better as they age? *shrugs* Do you know the order of the colors of the rainbow? Yes. Do you sometimes wish you were the opposite gender? No. Have you ever kissed a picture? of who? I donât think so. Did/do you distract your teachers to get them to tell you stories? I didn't really speak in class unless I was pretty sure I had the answer to a question or had a serious question myself. Who makes you feel like youâre worth something? My mom, more than anyone. Do you remember a lot of your childhood? Yeah. I have a crazy vivid long-term memory. How many pets is too many? Depends on available space as well as what you can afford to care for sufficiently. Do you stare at dead people in a movie to see if you can catch them moving? lol no. Does your hand fit inside a Pringles container? Probably. I can curl my thumb really inward to make space. Do you know who your maid of honor/best man will be? Sara, unless I end up marrying her lmao. In that case, it'd be Mom. If you had the opportunity to be famous, would you take it? I don't like the term "famous" for me personally, but rather "well-known" for a photographer. What is your favorite healthy snack? Strawberries, I guess? What is the best song by your favorite artist/band? I HAVE TO???????? PICK???????????? Oh jeez. At least right now, "Time" is one that I hold incredibly close to my heart and usually brings me to tears because it reminds me of Teddy. It's just a beautiful song. I'd say overall, probably "Trap Door." It's cool as hell. How many times did your phone ring today? None. What theme do you want for your wedding? Halloween/fall-ish. How much do you spend a month on make-up? Nothing. Do you have any of your future childrenâs names picked out? I don't want kids, but if I did, Alessandra Quinn is the girl and my spouse cannot argue, and I'd love Damien Vance or Damien Victor for a boy. What was your favorite childhood meal? Spaghetti. Would you ever date someone over the internet? I don't *think* I'd do it again, no, unless it was Sara and we were actually making arrangements to move in together ASAP. Do you find it hard to believe that a dinosaur was once right where you are? No, but rather cool as hell. What is your favorite part of the movie âThe Lion Kingâ? The intro (up to where the title pops up, not just NAAAAAAAAAAAAASEBENYAAAAAAAAAAA). It's just... magical. I, without fail, get goosebumps all over and smile. Do you have any bug bites atm? No. Do you knock before entering someoneâs room? Yeah. What was the last thing you shot in the garbage? Like, shot as a basketball? Probably just paper or something. Would you freak out if you saw a spider crawling on you right now? Fuck yes I would. Who did you last call beautiful? Venus, my snake. Have you ever used a tanning bed? Nooooooo. Do you think people will eventually stop believing in God? Oh, absolutely not. The belief in some sort of higher power has evolved since the dawn of civilization, so why would it stop? Do you and your best friend have the same favorite band? No. Do you prefer watching movies or playing video games? Vidya games. Have you ever been go-cart racing? Ha ha yeah, fun. Up in NY with my cousins. How many jobs have you had in your life? Three. Does your shower have a door or curtains? Two curtains. Do you have any posters of your favorite band on your walls? Metallica and Manson, yeah. Are you good at remembering names? NOOOOOOOO. Have you been outside today? No. Have you ever walked the opposite direction on an escalator? No. When making pancakes, do you try to make cool shapes/pictures? No. Do you use your hand when youâre explaining something? Oh yeah. Do you play a lot of video games? Not anymore, really. I would, but I can't afford a new console. I want a PS4 super badly (hell, even a PS3) to play new games, especially ones I haven't seen let's plays of. You can only replay a game so many times before you get bored, y'know? The only game I play regularly is WoW and that's because it has like... endless content to do. Who is your favorite Disney princess? Probably Jasmine. What word do you hate that people use often? (yolo, derp..) None off the top of my head. I just don't care. When was the last time you had hiccups? Idr. Have you ever thrown up from drinking too much alcohol? No. Do you ever buy the same piece of clothing, just in different colors? No. What is the last movie you saw in a theater? The live action The Lion King, I think. How many bank accounts do you have? I don't think I even have one... I know Mom was talking about opening me up one, but like, why. I don't make an income. Have you ever been falsely accused of starting drama? Oh sure. Do you attend church regularly? I never go. Have you ever been to Dairy Queen? Good. Shit. They have THE best chocolate milkshakes. Do you tend to worry a lot? Only always! How old were you when you lost your first tooth? Idr. Do you remember your first time on the internet? Not really, no. Which website do you email from? Hotmail. Do you enjoy receiving souvenirs? Yeah. Do a lot of people dislike you or is it the other way around? Idk. Have you ever had the flu? No, knock on wood. What about strep throat? Yeah. Would you ever consider going on a cruise? No. What is your biggest insecurity? My more "different" interests/hobbies. Have you ever painted a room alone? No. Speaking of which, when did you last paint your room? Never. Have you ever had a terrible hangover? No. Do you ever get migraines? Rarely. Do you know how to garden? I mean, I could put it together... What was the last thing you plugged into an outlet? A phone charger. Do people consider you to be a funny person? I don't know. Do you like children? No. If not, why is this? I'm just... uncomfortable and feel like I'm playing with slime against my will or some shit any time I'm in their presence. I don't like how they stare, I don't like how rude they can be, I hate how demanding they are of attention (YES, I am aware that is healthy behavior for the baby of a social species, I just can't provide it), they ask too many questions... I have a lot of reasons I don't like them. Is there a big age difference between you and the person you like? No. What is the most amusing thing on the internet, in your opinion? YouTube, I guess? Does the future excite you or scare you? Both. What do you plan on doing with the rest of your life? I don't want to think on this. How many huge secrets do you have? I don't know about *huge* secrets... How many people know these secrets? ^ How many times a day do you brush your teeth? Once. Do you ever floss? Not really, oops. Have you ever been in a long-term relationship? Two. Ever considered suicide? Yes. If so, did you try to commit suicide? Yes. Is there anyone out there who makes you feel completely useless? No. Do you like texting or calling people more? TEXTING. Don't call me omg. Have you ever painted something and been impressed by it? Yeah. When did you last babysit, if ever? I actually did last week in an emergency situation with my nephew. I was the one and only person capable due to everyone being sick. I was scared as shit and very anxious the whole time, but I did it. Ultimately, it was a good bonding experience for us. Do you have any younger siblings? Yes, one sister. Have you ever thought of someone as useless? I'm sure I've thought of myself like that before. Have you ever considered bleaching your hair? Not to remain blonde, no, but I did that on the occasion I dyed it purple, I think. Do you drink vitamin water? No. Are there any old movies you absolutely love? Well of course. Have you ever had a Big Mac before? No, it doesn't appeal to me. Do you think you attract the opposite sex at a reasonable rate? I don't know or care. Where is your favorite place to travel? Mountainous and wooded areas. What is your goal for the next few months? Do well in school, get back into driving, maybe get a job I can actually handle. Can you count to ten in another language other than your own? German, yeah. And I think Spanish. Have you ever played on a sports team before? Yeah. If you have, what was that sport and when? All of these are from when I was a young kid. T-ball/softball, basketball, cheerleading, soccer... I think that's it? Oh wait, dance for many years as a pre-teen/teen. Have you ever filed a lawsuit on someone? No. Do you think youâre a good singer? Not really. Do you think you have a good sense of style? I don't care. What matters is I myself like what I wear. Do you enjoy reading often? No... but I want to get back into it. Have you ever had a deadly illness? No, thank goodness. Ever had food-poisoning before? No. Where did you last eat dinner at? Like, eat out? I think it was a local Mexican restaurant with Mom and the sis. Have you ever shot a gun before? No. Where do you apply cologne or perfume? My neck and just generally around my torso. I don't really pay attention to exactly where. What completely and totally disgusts you and turns you off? Disrespect is what came to mind first this instance. What song makes you laugh when you hear it? I'unno. Do you take surveys hoping someone will see your answers or just âbecauseâ? Just because. It's a time-killer and a way for me to just. Talk. Not at anyone, just to get thoughts out of my head. It's therapeutic to me. Whatâs your favorite flavor of ice cream? Chocolate or vanilla, depending on my mood. What diet could you never do? "Raw." <<<< Yeah. Do you have a curfew? No, not that I ever leave the house. Do you actually like your job? N/A What is the last song you sang? I think it was "Ordinary Man" by Ozzy feat. Elton John. GOD I am ready for this album. Describe the best kiss youâve ever experienced: Bro idk I've had a lot of those and I've never like ranked them in my head. Think to the last time someone said thank you to you, what had you done to earn it? I commented on my friend's picture that she was fUCKING BEAUTIFUL. Grab your cellular. When did you last receive a text message? Like three hours ago. Is there anything thatâs worrying you at the moment? Just a lot. Honestly, do you wish there was someone still in your life who used to be but for whatever reason isnât anymore? I mean yeah, there' s multiple people like that. Who in your household do you not have a good relationship with? My sister's dog. Who in your life are you scared to lose more than anything? Mom.
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Can you do the entire unusual asks pls for me babe
oh of course lmao
1: Do you ever wish you were someone else?
Umm sometimes I like to pretend Iâm someone else but usually that person ends up sucking? So no, I guess not.
2: What is your full name?
Beaver Head William
3: How old are you and how old do you get mistaken for?
Um Iâm 22 going on 23 and idk not a lot of people ask my age.
4: Have you ever dyed your hair?
Nah. Never. Just kidding I just realized that literally not a single one o yall knows my hair is blue unless youâve met me in person.
5: Whatâs your eye color?
Brown
6: Your opinion about your body and how comfortable you are with it
Um???? It took me a while to get here but I am pretty okay with my body, minus the crippling gender dysphoria literally every single day. Tattoos help me with this though.
7: Do you have any tattoos or piercings?
Uuuuummmmm HELL YEAH! I have like 24 or maybe 25 tattoos and two piercings.
8: What would you say is your best quality?
Ummm wow good question I guess my ability to stay level headed in 90% of situations and give good advice.
9: What are you really bad at?
Being romantic. Lmao. Also stress management lmao.
10: What talent do you wish you had?
Itâs not a talent but wow i really wish i could fucking read.
11: Are you nice to everyone?
I try to be.
12: What do you think about the most?
Wow that is a hard question. Right now all I think about is beating this level on Two Dots, and also Pusheen. I really love pusheen wtf.
13: Things you like/dislike about yourself
Like: My bone structure, my hair, my tattoos, artistic ability
Dislike: My anxiety and assigned gender.
14: What is your least favorite word?
âMoist.â
15: What is your favorite word?
Amazing
16: Are you more like your mom or your dad?
God I really try to be like my dad. When I was a kid my dad used to tell me I was just like my mother in a really bad way and since then Iâve been like FUCK that
17: Would you ever smile at a stranger?
Uhh unless I was at work and being paid to, probably not.
18: A reason youâve lied to someone
When I donât want to hurt someoneâs feelings, but usually only about something small or situational.
19: Are you lying about anything right now?
Nah.
20: Have you kissed someone older than you?
Yeah.
21: Do you believe in love at first sight?
No
22: Do you believe in soulmates?
Only in terms of dogs, tbh.
23: Are looks important?
Well yeah just donât get carried away.
24: Opinion on relationship age differences
As long as its legal, go for it.
25: Would you date someone off the Internet?
I am at the moment lol.
26: Have you ever cried over a boy/girl?
Of course
27: Have you ever wanted someone you couldnât have?
YES
28: Anyone youâre giving up on right now?
Yeah.
29: Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated?
Yes, definitely.
30: Have you ever liked your best friend?
Idk she went to maine for a few days and i was like really sure i was in love with her and then she came back and i was like oh nvmd idk it was a weird day.
31: How does someone win your heart?
Honestly, my standards have never been very high.
32: What turns you on?
UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
33: What turns you off?
im constantly in a state of turned off tbhhhh
34: Do you get jealous easily?
Not in a relationship way but like if someone i work with or do stuff with gets different treatment than i do im like wtf do they hate me
35: What is your definition of cheating?
I feel like I canât talk for other people in other relationships because sometimes people are into different things but if u date someone else while I am under the assumption that we are dating, then you just cheated on me pal.
36: Do you forgive betrayal?
Depends.
37: Have you ever been cheated on?
Not that I know of.
38: Have you ever cheated on someone?
No.
39: How often do you listen to music?
Every day.
40: First concert you attended
Beach Boys, but the drummer had just died or was in the hospital or something and so John Stamos played drums.
41: Last movie you watched
I watched the tail end of the Emperorâs New Groove a few hours ago.
42: Favorite type of movie
Idk I donât really watch them
43: Is there something that happened in your past that you hate talking about?
No literally even terrible, scarring things that happened to me I talk about like hey wanna hear for the thirteenth time about how my piece of shit boyfriend invited me over to his house when i was 16 when his parents werenât home and touched me and I had no idea how to tell him i didnât want it because i was a fucking child? me neither. lol. I overshare.
44: Are you good at hiding your feelings?
Uhhhhhh no not at all.
45: Do you fall in love easily?
With dogs, yeah, with people no.
46: Do you think people say I love you too much?
No. Say it all the damn time. Love makes the world go around. JustâŚ.never ever stop loving.
47: Whatâs your favorite holiday?
Halloweeeeeen
48: Are you a forgiving person? Do you like being that way?
Yeah. No.
49: Whereâs the most magical place on earth?
Thereâs this place out in central PA that I drove through once, and like for a few hours beforehand we were just aimlessly driving through trees, and the trees are so thick in pennsylvania that underneath them it looks like night time and then you emerge and itâs like still day time. The sun was setting and I just remember coming up over this hill covered in wind turbines, and it was honestly like nothing I had ever seen. I love feeling small.
50: Whatâs your âtypeâ?
Um? Someone who gets me and gets that I am a really fidgety person and im really inconsistent about my expression of feelings.
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I found this âAbout Meâ template here on Tumblr. Iâve reblogged it on my account if you wanna see the blank one.
1: Name - Gracie
2: Age - 19
3: 3 fears - The dark, heights, and spiders
4: 3 things I love - Ducks, math, and singing
5: 4 turn-ons - Being dependable, a good listener, funny, and artistic
6: 4 turn-offs - People who are messy, narcissistic, only care about looks/like me for my looks, and ignorant
7: My best friend - My sister, Caroline
8: Sexual Orientation - Panromantic Demisexual
9: My best first date - I saw Black Panther and got ice cream with my boyfriend
10: How tall I am - 5â8â
11: What do I miss? - South Carolina
12: What time was I born? - 7:57 a.m.
13: Favorite color? - Purple
14: Do I have a crush? - Do crushes on fictional characters count? If so, my current crush is Fatgum from My Hero Academia
15: Favorite quote? - âSurround yourself with people who are smarter than you, and donât be afraid to be the dumbest one in the room because that gives you the most potential to learn.â - Markiplier
16: Favorite place? - Lexington High School
17: Favorite food? - Ambrosia
18: Do I use sarcasm? - Frequently
19: What am I listening to right now? - My cat purring
20: First thing I notice in a new person - Probably their hairstyle
21: Shoe size? - Womenâs 13
22: Eye color? - Hazel
23: Hair color? Dark Brown
24: Favorite style of clothing? - Graphic Tees or Dresses; there is almost no in-between
25: Ever done a prank call? - Nope.
26: Meaning of my url - My URL (BringBackMaes14) is based on one of my favorite animes, Fullmetal Alchemist (Brotherhood is better you can fight me) and one of its characters, Maes Hughes. His death was the first anime character death I experienced, and he died in 1914 which is where the 14 comes from.
27: Favorite movie? - Robots (2005)
28: Favorite song? - Thereâs a Platypus Controlling Me from Phineas and Ferb
29: Favorite band? Panic! At the Disco
30: How I feel right now - A little bit tired, and my back hurts, but my mood is good
31: Someone I love - My sister, Caroline
32: My current relationship status - Single
33: My relationship with my parents - My relationship with my dad has always been bad. He was pretty abusive. My relationship with him is okay right now, now that I donât see him but once a year. Iâve always been really close with my mom, and a big part of that is Iâve been disabled my whole life and so Iâve always needed her by my side, so weâre just together all the time. Things are a little rough right now though.
34: Favorite holiday? - Thanksgiving. It has all the same big meals and family gatherings as Christmas, but I donât have seasonal depression then or gifts staring at me from under a tree for three weeks, driving me mad with anticipation.
35: Tattoos and piercings I have - My ears are pierced
36: Tattoos and piercings I want - I want a rubber duck tattoo, probably just a small one on my shoulder
37: The reason I joined Tumblr - To look at anime memes
38: Do my last ex and I hate each other? - No, things ended on good terms. Weâre still friends and we talk occasionally
39: Do I ever get âgood morningâ or âgood nightâ texts? - No
40: Have I ever kissed the last person I texted? - No
41: When did I last hold hands? - Itâs been a few weeks
42: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning? - On a regular morning? Maybe 10 minutes. On mornings that I shower? About 45 minutes
43: Have you shaved your legs in the past three days? - I havenât shaved my legs in 19 years
44: Where am I right now? - In my living room
45: If I were drunk and couldnât stand, who would be taking care of me? - Probably one of my sisters
46: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level? - I only turn songs way up when they have great bass
47: Do I live with my mom and/or dad? - I live with my mom, my two sisters, and my brother-in-law. Itâs my older sister and brother-in-lawâs house. I have a brother who still lives back in South Carolina where Iâm from
48: Am I excited for anything? - Iâve got a virtual Halloween party Iâm going to this week
49: Do I have someone of the opposite sex that I can tell everything to? - No
50: How often do I wear a fake smile? - Not very often. I wear my emotions pretty openly
51: When was the last time I hugged someone? - Last night I hugged my younger sister
52: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone right in front of me? Thatâs none of my business really. We never actually dated and I donât talk to her a lot anymore.
53: Is there someone I trust even though I shouldnât? - Not that I can think of
54: What is something I disliked about today? - It rained while I was in the middle of going on a walk.
55: If I could meet anyone on Earth, who would it be? Iâd like to meet J. Michael Tatum. Heâs a voice actor in a lot of animes that Iâve watched and I really like his voice.
56: What do I think about the most? - Probably myself
57: Whatâs my strangest talent? - I wouldnât call it talent but I can make a really disturbing horse-like noise.
58: Do I have any strange phobias? - Iâm afraid of swingsets and trampolines
59: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? It doesnât really matter to me. I donât take a lot of pictures of myself, but it doesnât have to do with not liking having my picture taken
60: What was the last lie I told? - âIâm not in a lot of pain.â
61: Do I prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online? - I actually prefer video chatting. It seems more personal.
62: Do I believe in ghosts? - Yes. Iâve seen my twin sisterâs ghost several times in my life.
63: Do I believe in aliens? - Yes
64: Do I believe in magic? - No
65: Do I believe in luck? - Yes
66: Whatâs the weather like right now? Itâs 60 degrees Fahrenheit and cloudy
67: What was the last book I read? Mother Knows Best: A Tale of the Old Witch Best by Serena Valentino
68: Do I like the smell of gasoline? - No
69: Do I have any nicknames? - Boo, Gracie Pie, Dot
70: What was the worst injury I ever had? - I broke my spine when I was 16
71: Do I spend money or save it? - I tend to spend it but Iâm trying to save it right now
72: Can I touch my nose with my tongue? - Yes. I can also touch the bottom of my chin with my tongue
73: Is there anything pink within 10 feet of me? - Yes, thereâs a pillowcase and a blanket
74: Favorite animal? - Panda Bear
75: What was I doing last night at 12 a.m.? - Sleeping
76: What do I think Satanâs last name is? - I donât know, Smith? Weâre probably all overthinking it and itâs something much more simple than Morningstar
77: Whatâs a song that always makes me happy when I hear it? - Flashy by GameBoyJones
78: How can you win my heart? - By not judging me based on my past and my disabilities
79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone? - Quacked to Death
80: What is my favorite word? - Feshnickit - the act of consuming alcohol until a point is reached where an individual is unable to function normally
81: My top 5 blogs on Tumblr - lady-raziel, just-shower-thoughts, plus-ultra-writings, drawing-prompt-s, and writing-prompt-s
82: If the whole world was listening right now, what would I say? - What that tongue do? (Idk I think itâd be really funny if the whole world just randomly heard that in their heads). If weâre talking like Iâm on tv and broadcasting to the whole world and Iâm not just telepathic/mind reading, then Iâd probably say something about rights for women, colored people, and LGBTQ+ people
83: Do I have any relatives in jail? - Nope
84: Superpower of choice? - The power to affect probability. Whatâs the probability that Iâll ace this test? 100% Whatâs the probability that it will rain on my wedding day? 0% Whatâs the probability that my dad will shit his pants every time he hears the word âdragonâ? 80%
85: What would be a question Iâd be afraid to tell the truth on? - Have you been handcuffed before and if yes, then why?
86: What is my current desktop picture? -
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87: Had sex? - No
88: Bought condoms? - No
89: Been pregnant? - No
90: Failed a class? - Yes. I failed IT twice and Java Programming once.
91: Kissed a boy? - No
92: Kissed a girl? - Yes
93: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain? - No
94: Had a job? - It wasnât an actual paid job, but I worked as a student aid in my schoolâs library in my senior year of high school.
95: Left the house without my wallet? - Yes
96: Bullied someone on the internet? - Iâve bullied people in real life, but not on the internet.
97: Had sex in public? - No
98: Played on a sports team? - I played basketball with a church league for 6 years
99: Smoked weed? - No
100: Done drugs? - I take prescription drugs for my disabilities, but Iâve never âdoneâ drugs, no.
101: Smoked cigarettes? - No
102: Drank alcohol? - No
103: Am I a vegan/vegetarian? - No
104: Been overweight? - I currently am
105: Been underweight? - No
106: Been to a wedding? - Iâve been to 4 weddings
107: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight? - Yes
108: Watched TV for 5 hours straight? - Yes
109: Been outside my home country? - No
110: Gotten my heart broken? - Yes, but not in a âI got dumped or turned downâ kind of way. Someone close to me told me something really devastating.
111: Been to a professional sports game? - I once went to a Clemson Tigers vs University of South Carolina Gamecocks game, which was a pretty big game for South Carolina
112: Broken a bone? - I broke my L5 vertebrae
113: Cut myself? - Never on purpose, but yes. I sliced open my thumb knuckle once and had to get 3 stitches.
114: Been to prom? - I threw my own prom at home my junior year of high school because my schoolâs actual prom was 3 days after my spinal surgery so I wouldnât have been able to go. I went to my schoolâs prom the year after and the theme was Emerald City from The Wizard of Oz
115: Been on an airplane? - No
116: Flown by helicopter? - No
117: What concerts have I been to? - I once went to a concert at my church for a Christian barbershop quartet called Soulâd Out
118: Had a crush on someone of the same sex? - Yes
119: Learned another language? - I took Spanish classes for 3 years and French for 6 years
120: Worn makeup? - Iâve worn makeup before for stage performances but I donât like to wear it regularly. Every once in awhile Iâll wear some mascara.
121: Lost my virginity before I was 18? - No
122: Had oral sex? - No
123: Dyed my hair? - Iâve dyed my hair purple, and blue. I liked it better purple.
124: Voted in a presidential election? Voting day for the 2020 election is in 8 days, and itâs the 1st presidential election Iâll be old enough to vote in, but I donât think Iâm going to vote.
125: Rode in an ambulance? - Several times. I had a lot of seizures when I was a little kid. My longest one lasted at least 2 hours.
126: Had surgery? - Iâve had 2 major surgeries: I had my gallbladder removed and I had a spinal surgery to fix my broken vertebrae where they screwed 3 of my vertebrae together and used part of my hip to make a bone graft to cover it.
127: Met someone famous? - Unless the guys from Soulâd Out count, I donât think so.
128: Stalked someone on a social network? - Definitely not (and if I had, I probably wouldnât tell you guys)
129: Peed outside? - Do Porta Potties count?
130: Been fishing? - Yes. I went once when I was maybe 8 years old, and I was the only one of my siblings to catch a fish. I caught it by the eye socket though and its eye fell out. Iâm still not sure exactly how that happened.
131: Helped with charity? - Yes. I donât remember what the charity was called, but I worked in a warehouse once to collect shoes for homeless shelters
132: Been rejected by a crush? - Yes, but it was when I was 11 so I donât know if that really counts
133: Broken a mirror? - No, but Iâve punched a hole in a wall before
134: What do I want for my birthday/Christmas? - The number one thing on my list is some Artemis Drawing Figurines. They have adjustable and interchangeable hands, and they come in both male and female shapes.
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Either I couldâve written this on this post or âunderground giftâ but would it matter? no, because itâs about summation. why do you think people see the playlist and they see 32 > 23. Itâs full circle. In fact, go look at how many dislikes the FKA twigs song has. Itâs always going to equal what I think my neighbors are going to dislike. At this very moment itâs â362âł = 3+8=11=2
Idk why everything gotta be about getting hate with me, but itâs a sad day and no one wants a sad day lol and apparently itâs my bday and im the only one willing to break my own heart for the sake of entertaining yall lmao
So let me explain exactly what just happened on my Insta page: I decided to end summer on the internet. No more posts till next summer and my profile is on private. Then I decided, letâs not just stop there, I mention previously about me not having to need to follow anyone and iâll end up with just girls. well, that happened. except for two pages that arenât just person based. so just in case youâre wondering who was left, well, let me put it another way: there are some girls i am very very attracted to but the thing is, just like in the past, those same girls tend to be the ones i feel most uneasy about. if i start feeling like theyre really just tryna keep their followers interested then i start to lose interest. remember i mentioned like i could see a cute girl but then her occupation is like âwild n outâ girl... similar idea. they aint even gotta be extra like that, but itâs just you know, i fall in the category of âoutsider artsâ meaning i wonât ever get that recognition even if someone thought i needed it which is fine with me. there is literally something extremely intriguing of not being known and people not known and you only knowing.
also, if you notice on insta, if you start following too many people/pages, then those pages will drown the ones you actually wanna know about more. plus, itâs still a win win because you still got a hidden page of all the photos youâve liked so technically speaking they know about you and even if they are private right now, you still see their photos lol thats why insta is literally cop haven. if you wanna get in trouble asap, donât be exposed on insta esp if youre doing a lot of illegal shit. showing your faces and shit.
another thing i wanted to exemplify is that, at any moment life will pass you by and you could miss something. Thatâs on some Ferris Buellerâs Day Off shit. Like at any moment, no matter how much you think we connect, I could literally wipe myself out of the internet completely, delete my Tumblr/Insta, and youâll never know where Iâm at and all youâre going to hope for is that one day, you might come to LA and youâd see me at a show you think Iâd be at, and trust, that would be extremely difficult and on some fate shit, because LA is poppin all the fucking time. now how cruel would I be to do that? all the connections Iâve made all these years, even if youâre new, like bam! abandonment. Luckily for you, Iâm kind of like you, in the sense that, because I have disconnected with my peers IRL, I still need connection. Sure, I got my parents, but I need more. Sometimes I feel like Iâm on here just to talk to myself. Because when Iâm stressing, writing really helps. But my mission in life is relief. I have to say something. Itâs in my nature to ease. To please. To do something of substance. Thatâs why Iâm here.
And another explanation right... notice itâs 32 23 repeated. Because thatâs life. Itâs always coming back and forth to some familiarity. In the burbs, itâs so bloody quiet, I know who will come and go way easier than living in the city. Sometimes I feel like living in the city because itâll just be constant noise and I donât have to feel so crazy even though Iâm sure living in the city will make me even crazier. Probably smoking or drinking more, but that wouldnât happen as long as Iâm living with my parents. My parents would not be seen in the city because letâs face it: Thereâs no Filipino markets around. Thatâs literally a big concern lol. I mean, how far would we have to travel to get to a 99 Ranch Market? haha.
I donât live an artistâs life. I donât social network, Iâm not a socialite, although I do like going out and randomly meeting people. I donât stay in contact very long. I could seriously like think youâre super hot, touch my dick to you for some days, and the following week I will think youâre whole aura is making me uneasy. Because most likely, youâre kind of opposite of me, where you need to be around people. People who care for you, and itâs understandable, because maybe you donât have your parents around. Then you deserve even more love.
I just think at my particular age, I wanna be alone. And yes, I do what love, but even in that sense, I wanna be alone. I donât want those other options involved. Like when you wanna figure out what to do, and your friends are texting you like câmon letâs hang and I donât wanna take that away from someone if thatâs what they love. I used to rave, remember that. My whole relationship was dictated on where my other friends were at, which meant it never really became a relationship, more so it was like a good friendship with trust and sex. I want totality. I want to be consumed. Idk if thatâs a sign of age, or just me disconnecting, but I just donât want a group factor. Itâs always messy with a group. Some are too drunk, some are too sober, if youâre all on the same page, thatâs perfect but Iâve never gotten perfection, ever. There are friendships I know I should not have lost, but at the same time, I felt like they werenât really there for me like that and were pretty much just looking for a way out.
A lot of the time with my friendships, they like that Im open. They like that I donât judge them, but in the end, all we had was escapism. With drugs. WIth parties. With music. Like when you say to people âIf you leave, take me with youâ They always will leave you if a better opportunity comes their way
Thatâs why Iâm very very iffy about dating people in LA. People here need to focus on surviving so hard because most likely they are struggling artists, they are people dedicated to their arts and with that said, itâs very difficult to find a connection worth seeking
and thatâs another thing- if you heard that Tokio Hotel song with the interviews, itâs true. Love is about sacrifice. My dad quit drinking and smoking because my mom loved him that much and he could not just keep ignoring that. because by the end of the day, he didnât wanna be doing what he was doing in the Philippines and he obv has a son he needs to hang out with and shit. For me, if you got a lifestyle that isnât really in tune with mine, I canât accept that. Usually itâs like the woman is in charge, I gotta adapt, but see it isnât a gender thing. Itâs the fact that, I want to be alone. I want to be in such a small loving group that I donât worry about competition and even if it isnât competition, thereâs always that sense of too open with openness. Artists that like to collab, all that. If I was part of a scene, a socialite, then weâd work out perfectly. Reminds me of my girl cousin and her girlfriend. She works in the industry and she works or used to work on a magazine and now with some swag shit, but sheâs also like a photographer. So thatâs what people would call âpower couplesâ you know people who can join forces to uplift each other. Thatâs a pure artistic relationship. That is something I will never experience because I donât want that. You know, the kind of relationship where if I was being posted on her page for real, theyâd be like âOh you guys are so cute, #relationshipgoalsâ
In a smaller way, been there done that. I truly do not want the fame aspect even though I consider myself âhood famousâ lol
You talk enough, you talk like how I do, over a decade of just chopping it up both online and in reality, people are bound to listen
So yeah, that pretty much sums up everything.
Oh yeah, I also think Iâm the only person on Tumblr who blogs like I do. Itâs the unconventional way of using old posts and renewing them with things that relate. I basically use any space I am given to write something. You could say my blog is my canvas, and I use words to make shit epic... Call this Atlantis. Because my whole vibe is like a Lost City. You will only know if you look for me.
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[Pann] The Level of Hate that a Produce 101 Trainee is Currently Getting (Clean Version)
Source: ěľęˇź ęšě´ęł ěë íëĄëě¤ ě°ěľěě íĽí ě
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This post got deleted again so I re-uploaded it again. I tried to censor the hate as nicely as possible, though it feels like covering the sky with your hands (t/n: not sure about this). Apparently, it got deleted because it contains violence, curses, and slanderă
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Nate Pann, are you joking with me? All of the posts on Pann before were this badă
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Why were those posts acceptable, but my post which compiled all of the hate deleted? Ah, now you realize that itâs actually bad? Or did you not want people to know that you allowed those postsă
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Though Iâm sure my post got deleted because someone reported ită
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Produce 101 is very trendy everywhere, which is why thereâs a lot of talk about the trainees that appear on it as well. Recently, thereâs a lot of interest(?) around Joo Haknyeon, a trainee who prepared Open Up, a concept evaluation stage.
Heâs greedy even though heâs unskilled, he made mistakes onstage, he covered another traineeâs face onstage, etc etc. For all of these reasons, heâs getting hate. I can understand constructive criticism but the problem is that the hate has crossed a line and has become excessive..;;;
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/f4e043754315c250ea78564be6fc5180/tumblr_inline_oreoupsyUz1tddi6o_1280.jpg)
If you miss your dad so much, why donât you just follow him? Why are you crying..
Just follow your dad.... the worldâs air is wasted on you.
Just feel free to beat up the nuisance, pig bastard Joo Haknyeon
Heâs ugly, untalented, and his personalityâs trash. I was wondering why he was like that and itâs because he doesnât have a dad.
His momâs crying every night while having s** with pigs
t/n: Idk what the last two are saying.
As you can see, the comments towards his parents are so bad itâs hard to read;;;; Joo Haknyeonâs dad passed away last year;;;; Itâs not only that but there was also a clarification post on him supposedly covering another traineeâs face onstage but...
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/9231c0aa0d8d597efeb3b74e800ac758/tumblr_inline_orep7kNXVn1tddi6o_540.jpg)
t/n: People were saying that he covered Yonggukâs face on purpose because he wanted more spotlight. Someone wrote up a clarification post on Pann to clear up this misunderstanding but it still got a lot of dislikes. Hereâs a translation of the post (original).
To sum it up, he was supposed to walk in front of that trainee to get to his ending position and the reason why he looked like he was covering the traineeâs face is because of the camera angle.
But all of the people who are just hating rather than giving constructive criticism completely ignore clarification posts like this. Look at all of the dislikes ă
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The post was only pointing out false assumptions and telling people to judge based on factsă
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But the haters responded with âthe post is too long,â âso what?â, and âdo you think thatâs why heâs getting hateâ
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/d528e74078eb25342928d9caf439ef83/tumblr_inline_orephr7PL21tddi6o_500.jpg)
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Haknyeon, you would just be better off working at a host bar. What are you even good at, you canât even dance. Just give it up.
[+5, -0] What the hell... His chin is long and his stare is dirty but the Sangam fancamă
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That fansite master (T/N: Aquamarine) is a con artist.
[+14, -2] I felt like Joo Haknyeon was acting like he was kind last week. At this point, heâs not even acting, heâs just straight-up evil.
I canât even tell that heâs a face pick..; I can tell that Guanlin, Hyeongsub, and Jinyoung are all good-looking but they say that Haknyeonâs a face pick... they say that he has a refreshing charm and smells like hallabongs. He has a well-developed jaw and jutting chin so Iâd at least accept it if they said he was a manly type instead of a refreshing type..;;
Iâve said this already but I can accept constructive criticism about his skills or greed. However, you hated on him for purposefully blocking a traineeâs face even though it wasnât true. It doesnât make any sense to me that he received hate and sexual harassment comments because of something that wasnât true..
Itâs not only Pann thatâs like thisă
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Every online community has been attacking his looks and making terrible personal attacks to an excessive degree.
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/8ee2516c61a82b91389ea6617d7fdf96/tumblr_inline_orexqoT4JB1tddi6o_1280.jpg)
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t/n: More here. Theyâre all just terrible comments about his face, body, skills, and personality. Comments about how they want to beat him up or nasty comments about his chin or shoulders. I donât want to translate these anymore because they annoy tf out of me.
Iâve said this before, but I think constructive criticism about his skills or greed is acceptable. But all of the personal attacks, sexual harassment, and hate comments about him purposefully covering another traineeâs face.. even though this isnât true..ă
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You might think this only happens on DC Gallery because there are a lot of weird kids on there. However, the hate comments come from DC Gallery, Twitter, Facebook, Pann, online cafes and communities, and comments under videos and articles. These hate comments are everywhere.
I hope Haknyeon doesnât search his name on the internet. The sexual harrassment and comments about his parents are too much..... It also seems like his agency is waiting for the right time (to sue).. I hope they accept the constructive criticism but deal with the sexual harassment, comments about his parents, and the like...
Overall: [+1124, -163]
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1. [+422, -21] He used to smile constantly and proclaim that heâs Joo Haknyeon and point to his nametag to strangers, but now he doesnât even smile and his expressions are dead whatever he does. What did he do that was so wrong? Heâs not as skilled, yes, he expressed some greed, he made a mistake, but he quickly fixed his mistakes on M Countdown after being criticized. I was shocked that there were people bating their breath, waiting for him to make even one mistake on M Countdown. My heart hurt and I felt ashamed when people laughed mockingly and said that him being pushed around during the parts selection (t/n: not sure about this) was justified. His face was red and he couldnât even hide how flustered he was. Heâs only 19 years old. What kind of righteous, amazing life did you live that youâre so desperate to take him down? You need to stop it, for real.
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/5568834bc793d6b12979a468c278978b/tumblr_inline_ordctrrBAi1tddi6o_540.jpg)
2. [+414, -20] Iâm honestly worried for Joo Haknyeonâs mental health.. Iâve never seen anyone from a survival show receive this much hate. Every community online has been attacking his personality, his skills, and his face to excruciating detail. Now theyâll curse him whether he smiles or cries.. They shame his fans for liking him so all of his fans seem like theyâre hiding (I have never seen anyone taking his side). Itâs to the point where people will say that they pity the other trainees because of Haknyeon or that itâs because of Haknyeon that so and so got eliminated. He gets hate just for breathing.
I didnât even want to go to school after fighting with someone from my class, but as soon as he turns on the internet, theyâre all hating on him so proudly I bet he wants to leave Korea. Iâm so, so worried.. If he doesnât debut, will people forgive(?) him?
3. [+412, -16] Didnât he smile and say that heâs never been loved so much at the beginning of the show....ă
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Do you realize how cruel this system is? The kids first say please love me and then end up saying sorry and donât hate me...The kids need to go to therapy, and all of the people attacking these young kids with hate comments have terrible personalities... I copy-pasted this best reply from beforeă
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I knew this would happen^^
4. [+67, -2] After watching yesterdayâs episode, I could tell that he knew that he was lacking in skills, and they even edited out scenes where he was practicing by himself. I just feel so bad for this 19 year old kid. He gets hated on just for breathing.. Donât all kids at this age have lots of bravado, ambition, and playfulness? Is this something that deserves this much hate? Letâs not even acknowledge the people who think they know everything about a person based on a show. They wonât even listen to reason.. Haknyeon, hang in there.
5. [+67, -3] Iâve read this post several times already but I still canât calm down. My hands and feet are trembling... I hope heâs never seen these hate comments...but he apparently looks at all of the comments...Iâm really sorry, Haknyeon...I only wanted you to see pretty words.....ah....seriously.....Even though weâre the same human beings, these people are just so disappointing ă
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6. [+59, -1] Iâm so sadă
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just as the haters say, if Haknyeon really didnât put any effort, would he have been able to perform Open Up in three days? Yes, Haknyeon does lack skills, made some mistakes, and is a slow learner, but Iâm wondering if a 19 year old kid really deserves this much hate.
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/f5ea5655f9a6c084d2cdfeeb421d3f99/tumblr_inline_orde5mwlpH1tddi6o_500.jpg)
First Picture: When he was practicing by himself (during Right Round) Second Picture: He took detailed notes of Donghoâs advice on his singing. Third & Fourth Picture: Heâs memorizing the lyrics during rest time.
7. [+57, -0] The worst thing is that fans of higher-ranked trainees would say that he'd be a nuisance to their picks while fans of lower-ranked trainees would pick on him because they were threatened by him. On top of that, they even made him out to be some kind of outcast among the trainees and said that him being treated like an outcast was justified. There wasnât anybody who didnât curse Joo Haknyeon, online or offline. Did he really do something that terrible? I was shocked by how everyone was relentlessly hating on him. Itâs not even a matter of him debuting or not anymore. Iâm worried if heâll even be able to return and start a new life after Produce 101. Why are you guys so determined to take him down?
8. [+54, -1] If youâre human, at least have the decency to realize there are things you shouldnât say. How can you hate on a kid whoâs says heâs going to work hard when you haters would probably go through a mental breakdown if someone cursed you in real life? Do you have any right to act like this? He made a mistake? Youâre just giving constructive criticism? Heâs unlikeable? I can understand all of these, but this (t/n: referring to the post) is just character assassination. How is he supposed to live after this when he knows that are hundreds and thousands of people that hate and curse him to this extent? Letâs not be like this as human beings. I hope his agency sues these haters and they get what they deserveă
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9. [+53, -1] Iâm so angry I canât sleep. I didnât even hear Haknyeonâs voice in the sports day segment in last weekâs episode. There are people saying that Mnet and Loen are on bad terms, and itâs definitely true (Cre.ker is a Loen subsidiary). Also, please stop making hate remarks about his personality. Even though he dropped from #10 to #18, heâs still a fragile kid who cried when they announced Yongguk was #21;;
(t/n: Haknyeon and Yongguk are close. They trained under the same agency together before, and Yongguk mentioned that he was close to Haknyeon in his Vapp live.)
10. [+47, -2] Whenever I see Joo Haknyeon, Iâm reminded of Kim Sejung. I just feel somewhat sad for them because they both seem the type to smile by default. Whenever he makes a mistake, he smiles. Even though he was kicked out of Never, he smiled. When he was pushed around during the parts assignment for the final songs, he smiled even brighter. It just seems like he smiles to control his emotionsă
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This is something I felt since the first elimination round. By the way, Iâm not a Haknyeon fan. My one pick is Hyeongsub.
11. [+46, -2] They really close their eyes and ears to everything
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/ac7cbff348c042caa2726d63ca513827/tumblr_inline_ordegfiHMU1tddi6o_540.jpg)
12. [+39, -2] Before this post, if we said that the hate was too much, theyâd either shut us up by saying that 1) weâre Haknyeonâs fans or 2) that his actions deserves this much hate. Do you know what people said in response to the talk about Haknyeon being an outcast? They asked why the others would even like a guy like that. Do you like making out your faves to be bullies/bystanders and saying that Haknyeon deserves to be alienated? Youâre all attacking him like youâre all just having a good time pissing on him.
13. [+38, -5] You have to debut. So I can see all of the haters choke.
14. [+34, -1] Iâve seen this post before but it got deleted.. why didnât they delete all of the hate comments before then.. All of the haters will eventually get what they deserve... Youâre being too much to a 19 year old kid.
15. [+31, -0] The comments make me want to throw up. Haknyeonâs not my pick but I just feel so bad for Haknyeon and his fans. He really didnât get any screentime in the beginning and all of his fans looked for him in the corners and edges of the show and they stuck through with it for weeks. But starting from the 6th episode, there were lots of people who began to say that it would have been better if he just didnât get any screentime... There was also shots where you could see him practicing alone in the corner, but they donât show any of that. When they showed scenes of the kids playing with each other and showed who was close to who, they didnât show any cuts of Haknyeon. Even now, itâs hard to find even a strand of his hair in bts videosă
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Because of this, there are people whoâs saying that heâs an outcast or whatever, but how would we know that when they donât even show him.. Iâve been getting a weird feeling about this since before, but after watching last weekâs broadcast, Iâm certain that the PD doesnât like him. He was completely cut out of the sports day segment and the traineeâs talk time.
16. [+25, -0] I became a fan after seeing Haknyeonâs innocent, bright smile. These days, he doesnât smile much, and when heâs smiling, he doesnât even look like heâs smiling for real.. Iâm sad because heâs not like how he was before. What makes me sadder is that he doesnât express how he feels inside. I hate myself for thinking this, but I sometimes think it would have been better if he had received more PR training (heâs too innocent so he doesnât know how to act on broadcast) or if he was a bit more sly and knew how to act accordingly to get more love from the viewers... Iâm just very scared and worried that Haknyeon will change.. so please stop it with the hate. Just think of it as saving someone.. I just want to continue seeing Haknyeonâs bright smile that we saw at the beginning of the show.
17. [+25, -0] Haknyeon fans, donât give up just because heâs #18. Vote even harder. The show doesnât show any of Haknyeonâs relationships with the other boys so it makes sense that he dropped during 2-pick. It may have actually been a good thing. Now that I think about it carefully, they really didnât show any of Haknyeonâs friendships on the show since the first episode and the bts videos. Now that itâs one-pick, continue to vote for Haknyeon. Just struggle for one more week. Vote furiously so that Haknyeon can achieve his dream of debuting.
18. [+25, -0] Creker needs to sue them. They think they can just say anything onlineă
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My heart hurts.
19. [+25, -0] Heâs been hearing stuff like this, but he thanked (the national producers) for giving him the chance to be onstage again? I pity him. Iâm worried for his mental health.
20. [+24, -0] Iâm reuploading my comment because the post got deleted. You think the whole fuss that happened with Haknyeonâs Open Up fancam involved just a minority? For two hours, all of the best replies on Haknyeonâs fancam were reported and taken down. They didnât even reach 500 likes before getting taken down. The hate comments and the fanâs comments were all too much. Youâre the ones who posted on different communities, asking people to like the hate comments so that they can be the top comments on his individual cam. Thatâs why his fans were so desperate to make the positive comments the top comments on his video. You're the ones who wrote that Haknyeonâs fancam would be a hot issue and that everybody should go look for another mistake he made in his fancam. And youâre still claiming that youâre only âcriticizingâ him?
21. [+23, -0] Pann is hilariousă
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What were you guys doing just watching when everyone was maliciously attacking him? Youâre all the same.
22. [+23, -0] Haknyeonâs not my pick but Iâm upvoting this. A post like this should go up on the rankings. Not only Haknyeon but all of the trainees didnât do anything to warrant comments like these. These people have no right to say such harsh things. They think theyâre important because of the national producer label. Donât fool yourself, you guys are nothing.
22. [+23, -0] This is a misunderstanding. Haknyeon didnât cover Yongguk;;; Haknyeonâs supposed to walk in front of Yongguk to get to his ending pose, the camera angle was weird, and if you look at their picture on the official facebook page, he didnât cover Yongguk.. Also, Yongguk mentioned Haknyeon as one of the trainees he was closest to during his Vapp live, and Haknyeon cried for Yongguk when he got eliminated. Would he really cover Yongguk on purpose?
23. [+21, -0] I thought he wasnât a bad kid, seeing how the people around him have always come out to say something against the negative way the show portrays him. I knew that people were criticizing him, but I didnât know it was this bad. Why donât people know their limits..? This isnât constructive criticism. This is just senseless hate.
24. [+21, -0] Eunki and Hwanwoong fans donât even hate on Haknyeon because they know that Eunki and Hwanwoong are actually close to Haknyeon and that the editing was weird. Itâs so obvious when people pretend to be Eunki and Hwanwoong fans to hate on Haknyeonă
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25. [+20, -1] Itâs goosebumps-inducing how youâll hate on Haknyeon using the other traineesă
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ăą So, did you guys ever vote for Hwanwoong, Eunki and Yongguk? Theyâre actually close to Haknyeon and genuinely support him. Itâs funny how youâll make all these assumptions based on five minutes of a show.
26. [+16, -0] Haknyeonâs expression... He looks like heâs flustered and his heartâs beating fast and like heâs about to cry because heâs so surprised, but heâs trying so hard to hold it in... heâs swallowing with his mouth, and his eyes look like theyâre at a loss. Itâs a face that canât decide on any particular expression. How flustered he must have been. In that short moment, so many thoughts must have run across his head.
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do all 155 questions you reblogged
you are a good person
1: Full name Delaney Quinn _____
2: Age 19
3: 3 Fears Failure, elevators, my college
4: 3 things I love biscuits, broad city, carpeted garages
5: 4 turns on men sighing, intelligence, deep, low voices, people who take action immediately in bad situations
6: 4 turns off arrogance/narcism, men who talk about cars a lot, flip flops, really strong perfumes and colognes
7: My best friend Matthew!!!!
8: Sexual orientation Straight
9: My best first date Every single first date I have ever had has been utter shit in every way and I could explain but thereâs no time nor drive to do this
10: How tall am I 5â˛4âł - 5â˛5âł maybe?
11: What do I miss Bahn mi......i am paleo now and it sux but I do love complaining about it and seeming important for doing paleo
12: What time were I born Like 12:15pm
13: Favourite color green!
14: Do I have a crush like 100 but none are realistic, accessible, or serious
15: Favourite quote âFrom my rotting body, flowers shall grow and I am in them and that is eternity.â - Edvard Munch
16: Favourite place honestly i love my bathroom i love pooping and workin on my best self
17: Favourite food gnocchi
18: Do I use sarcasm yeah i think everyone does
19: What am I listening to right now broad city dialogue
20: First thing I notice in new person how they greet you/tone i guess
21: Shoe size 6 1/2 - 7
22: Eye color brown
23: Hair color dark brown but the dyeâs faded into just muddy brown with some red how interesting
24: Favourite style of clothing vintage
25: Ever done a prank call? yeah
27: Meaning behind my URL i do theatre and iâm pretentious
28: Favourite movie The Help
29: Favourite song ??? stupid ass question idk
30: Favourite band ??? stupid ass question idk
31: How I feel right now ??? stupid ass question idk
32: Someone I love My sister!
33: My current relationship status Single
34: My relationship with my parents really great tbh
35: Favourite holiday Halloween
36: Tattoos and piercing i have none
37: Tattoos and piercing i want i would like to get my ears pierced
38: The reason I joined Tumblr to complain to my friend Jenna
40: Do I ever get âgood morningâ or âgood night â texts? No
41: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted? No
42: When did I last hold hands? Yikes who knows
43: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning? 45 min?
44: Have You shaved your legs in the past three days? yep
45: Where am I right now? my room
46: If I were drunk & canât stand, whoâs taking care of me? iâm taking care of someone else and i do not like drinking
47: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level? depends
48: Do I live with my Mom and Dad? when iâm not at college yeah
49: Am I excited for anything? iâm in spring awakening and we start rehearsals on saturday!!
50: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to? yes my sweet sweet matthew
51: How often do I wear a fake smile? as dramatic as this question is, so am I, and a lot
52: When was the last time I hugged someone? today I hugged my beautiful and perfect sister
53: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me? thatâs okay it was for a scene
54: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not? oh yeah
55: What is something I disliked about today? this was the worst day in a while so a lot
56: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? dave malloy
57: What do I think about most? anxiety dude and currently what caused my ptsd
58: Whatâs my strangest talent? ?? idk i do a great Viola Dais in The Help impression as risky and bad as that sounds
59: Do I have any strange phobias? sure but mostly just elevators
60: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? in front
61: What was the last lie I told? great question
62: Do I prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online? neither
63: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens? yes and yes
64: Do I believe in magic? I believe in the power of God so sure that counts
65: Do I believe in luck? nah
66: Whatâs the weather like right now? itâs like 67 rn
67: What was the last book Iâve read? I ready mostly scripts now so idk
68: Do I like the smell of gasoline? no
69: Do I have any nicknames? Squeaky, Del, Delami, Lane, Joanne, Jew, etc.
70: What was the worst injury Iâve ever had? I had like a kidney stone that sucked. Idk about injury. A chunk of my nose is missing due to skin strep I had as a child.
71: Do I spend money or save it? Both
72: Can I touch my nose with a tongue? If I help it up there yeah
73: Is there anything pink in 10 feet from me? I have an old Lady Be Good postcard near me with some pink on it, and Sorcererâs Stone is beside me and thereâs some pink on that cover
74: Favourite animal? Koala I think
75: What was I doing last night at 12 AM? Sleepin maybe or playing Sims Freeplay
76: What do I think is Satanâs last name is? None heâs got one name like Beyonce
77: Whatâs a song that always makes me happy when I hear it? The Private and Intimate Life of the House from Great Comet
78: How can you win my heart? Genuinely respect me
79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone? âRip it upâ
80: What is my favorite word? I like cynosure a lot. Someone called me that once and it was always very special to me.
81: My top 5 blogs on tumblr rossgellerfanclub 5 times
82: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say? does anyone wanna pay for my college
83: Do I have any relatives in jail? no
84: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and whatâs even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power? shapeshifting
86: What is my current desktop picture? a pixelated ocean and sky itâs very cute
88: Bought condoms? no
89: Gotten pregnant? no
90: Failed a class? maybe? to be seen
91: Kissed a boy? yes
92: Kissed a girl? yes for a scene at school
93: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain? no
94: Had job? define job
95: Left the house without my wallet? yes
96: Bullied someone on the internet? no
97: Had sex in public? no
98: Played on a sports team? no
99: Smoked weed? no
100: Did drugs? no
101: Smoked cigarettes? no
102: Drank alcohol? a sip once or twice and itâs bad man i hate it
103: Am I a vegetarian/vegan? paleo bitch!!!!
104: Been overweight? ya
105: Been underweight? no
106: Been to a wedding? yes several
107: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight? yes easily
108: Watched TV for 5 hours straight? yes easily
109: Been outside my home country? yes
110: Gotten my heart broken? no
111: Been to a professional sports game? yes
112: Broken a bone? no
113: Cut myself? yes
114: Been to prom? yes
115: Been in airplane? yes
116: Fly by helicopter? no
117: What concerts have I been to? american idol but the season with carrie underwood
118: Had a crush on someone of the same sex? no
119: Learned another language? like partial sure
120: Wore make up? yes
123: Dyed my hair? yes
124: Voted in a presidential election? yes
125: Rode in an ambulance? yes
126: Had a surgery? no
127: Met someone famous? yes! a few but i donât feel like listing
128: Stalked someone on a social network? we all have
129: Peed outside? no
130: Been fishing? no
131: Helped with charity? yes
132: Been rejected by a crush? yes
133: Broken a mirror? no
134: What do I want for birthday? cash and a nice dinner and maybe a kiss!!
135: How many kids do I want and what will be their names? 2! i would like a boy and a girl. Names like Ezra and Porter and stuff idk
136: Was I named after anyone? Elaine from Seinfeld, cause her nickname was Laney
137: Do I like my handwriting? itâs alright yeah
138: What was my favourite toy as a child? i loved barbies man and I had a lovely babydoll
139: Favourite Tv Show? 30 Rock
140: Where do I want to live when older? NYC then Chicago then somewhere weird like Vermont and then Germany
141: Play any musical instrument? i used to play flute and a lil piano but now like nothing. trying to work a vocal looper tho
142: One of my scars, how did I get it? cutting myself
143: Favourite pizza toping? caramelized onion and basil
144: Am I afraid of the dark? yeah a bit
145: Am I afraid of heights? yeah
146: Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad? i made a friend online when I was like 12 and did not tell my parents lol
147: Have I ever tried my hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end? yes of course
148: What Iâm really bad at dancing
149: What my greatest achievements are surviving ptsd is pretty fkn cool
150: The meanest thing somebody has ever said to me not discussing that here
151: What Iâd do if I won in a lottery pay off college, pay off my parents debt, donate to charity, buy myself some luxury apartments and a dog, some amazing food, get some good bras, see a ton of shows on broadway!!!!!
152: What do I like about myself persistence and humor
153: My closest Tumblr friend jenna we donât talk much anymore but Iâll always love that b
154: Something I fantasize about being a greek goddess or in the center of a victorian love triangle quite honestly
155: Any question youâd like? ------ N/A
THANKIE!!!!!!!
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Survey #256
song lyrics here.
Would you date someone who still lived with their parents? Well considering I still live with my mother, I'd be quite the hypocrite if otherwise. Are you a generous person? I personally think so. Do you have a close relationship with your family? With my mom, extremely. Do you think there is life on other planets? Well, define "life," I suppose. Bacteria, stuff like that that science defines as life, yes. Complex life, I don't know. Would you enjoy a night of playing video games? Fuck yeah. Are you sexually attracted to any inanimate objects? ???? No. Would you watch a porno with your partner? UH NO I'm personally not at all interested in porn, and I feel it'd be awkward anyway? Have you ever stolen from your work? No. How much does intelligence turn you on? I guess like your average person that finds intelligence attractive. Do you ask someone out or wait for them to ask you? History shows it varies. Do you own any sex toys? No. Do you talk about your sex life with either of your parents? Well I don't have one now, but historically, I very timidly have with my mom about something. Generally though, I don't. I keep that very private. Do you search someone on the Internet before a first date? No. How often do you use Facebook at work? I'm unemployed. Do you enjoy television or movies better? That's hard, but maybe movies. I don't really watch either, but movies, when they have a good plot, are usually more enjoyable. Would you consider donating your body to science after you die? Sure thing. I personally want to donate my organs and have the rest cremated, though. Are you a romantic person? Yeah. Would you be okay with your partner hanging with their ex as friends? It would seriously depend on the depth of their relationship, where they're hanging out, how long... that kind of stuff. I am very serious about letting your partner have friends, including w/ the gender they're interested in, so I try to be open-minded here. Are you careful with your money? It's hard to even say with how seldom I have any. Do you like to be friends with someone before dating them? Absolutely. Do you like soccer? No. Is it more fun to go out just with your date or on a group date? Depends. I'd say I USUALLY prefer uhhh... single dates? How often do you go dancing/clubbing? Never. Is marriage a necessity for two people who love each other? Uh, no. Do you meditate? No. Have you ever been fired from a job? No. Is there anything you think science will never be able to explain? The soul. Do you cook fancy meals for dates? I don't cook. You don't want me to. Is intoxication ever an acceptable excuse for acting stupid? Fuck no. Do you believe in an afterlife? Probably. Do you litter? NO. Would you have sex with someone hot who you hated? nO????????????? Do you have a career plan? Kinda, but who knows when the fuck that's coming true. Do you mostly cook your own meals? Well, I mostly microwave stuff. I never use the stove or oven. Could you live with someone who was really messy? To a certain degree, no. Do you believe in fate or destiny? No. Have you ever had sex with someone you worked with? No. Would you date someone just for the sex? Nope. Have you ever had a one night stand? No. Have you ever lied about the number of sexual partners youâve had? No. Are sex and intimacy the same thing? "Sex is just one example of intimacy. Thereâs other ways to be intimate, including ones that donât involve being sexual at all." <<<< Exactly this. Have you ever played strip poker? No. How often do you get angry? "Iâm someone who gets irritated, moody, upset, and frustrated often, but not angry." <<<< Also this. Do you consider yourself an emotional person? VERY MUCH SO. Is work important to you? Considering how harshly I shit on myself for not having a job, most certainly. Have you had cosmetic surgery? No. On a first date do you pay or do they? In every experience but with Sara, they did. I only paid on Sara's and my first date out of trickery lmao. Do you only date people who have jobs or are full-time students? No. Could you date someone who does drugs? Nope. Medical marijuana is fine, though. Have you ever been to a sex shop? No. Have you ever had a threesome? Nah. Do you enjoy discussing politics? Noooo. Would you do a striptease for your partner? WHOA I would feel WAY too awkward gd. Would you date someone who doesnât have a car? Yeah. Is it wrong to watch porn if youâre in a relationship? That depends on the people in it. Some mind, some don't. Idk how I'd feel it if was my partner. Do you think men should pay for everything on dates? Hi, it's 2020. Women don't need to be "taken care of." Would you tie up a partner if they asked you to do so? Yeah. Have you ever had sex in a public place? No. Would you date someone twice your age? No. Should a child caught masturbating be punished? It'd be weird at a certain age, but no. It's normal to explore sexuality and what you like, and perhaps even more importantly, it's way better for you to let your sexual urges out privately versus... you know. Being forceful on others. Do you tell your friends you love them? Of course!! Maybe it's just how I was brought up, but I've always gotten kinda confused when (particularly good) friends don't. Love is platonic just as much as it is romantic, and you should let people know! Do you like playing tic-tac-toe? I mean, I guess? What about hangman? It's more fun than the former. Did you play hopscotch when you were younger? Yeah. Did your older sibling ever tell you freaky stories that you believed? I remember at least one. Do you have a yahoo account? It exists, but I haven't touched it in an eternity. I don't even remember the password. Are you a violent person? Definitely not. Do your siblings dye their hair? Not really. They occasionally get highlights, though. Do you still have any of your exesâ stuff? Besides gifted stuff, no. I think. Who can you best relate to in the last book you read? That I finished, Clay. Because he's dumb and hungry. Are you indecisive? Unbelievably. Do you collect anything? What? Meerkat and Silent Hill stuff. What are you listening to? An Emzotic video. I'm like,,, hooked on her stuff. I've been on a MASSIVE animals video binge lately, and she's a FUCKING MOOD. What was the last compliment someone gave you? Idr. What are your petsâ names? Roman and Venus. Gah, I need more bbz. What did your first best friend look like? Last I've seen a picture of her, she was a somewhat bigger person with long, curly brown hair, and she's always been very tan. Did you have a role model growing up? Steve Irwin. If you could learn how to play one instrument, what would it be? Guitar. Is your best friend dating anyone? Do you like them? No. Do you want to move? Very badly, and we probably are soon. Do you have a big family? My extended family is giant. Do you want more or less siblings? I'm happy with what I have. What is your idea of perfect happiness? Great contentment in all I do. Surrounded by love, changing the world in even tiny ways, etc. What is the trait you most deplore (dislike) in yourself? I realized it semi-recently and honestly don't want to share it. Only my old therapist knows, I think. Besides that one, the fact I'm very impulsive with words when I'm upset, probably. What is your greatest extravagance? I'm really creative and passionate. What do you consider the most overrated virtue? Probably the glorification of virginity. I would know. It was a MASSIVE DEAL for most of my teenage years. On what occasion do you lie? When it's a thing where I feel it's just better to not be honest. Now I honor honesty a lot, so I avoid it as much as possible, but no, I don't believe it's always the best policy. What do you most dislike about your appearance? My weight. Which living person do you most despise? I don't know about one specific person. The traumatized part of me says Jason's friend that encouraged him to break up with me, but I know I rightfully shouldn't even dislike him, save for the fact he was pretty arrogant. What or who is the greatest love of your life? I don't know. When and where were you the happiest? Well, it depends. If you mean in a specific moment of most intense happiness, lots of times with Jason. An extended period of happiness, early into recovery when I lived with Colleen. What do you consider your greatest achievement? Recovering from the breakup. If you were to die and come back as a person or a thing, what would it be? A house cat. Seems like a pretty good life. What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery? At least from my experiences, harsh rejection when you try your best to please that person. What do you value most in your friends? As far as a sweeping characteristic they all share, the will to listen and just be there for me in times I really need companionship. Who are your favorite writers? I don't really have favorites. Who is your hero of fiction? Hm, I dunno. Which historical figure do you most identify with? Uhhhh I also don't really know. I'm not enough of a history buff for this. Who are your heroes in real life? I answer this enough. What are your favorite names? Alessandra and Severin. Do you like watching reruns? No. What do you think is worth waiting for? Deep relationships. Should parenting classes be mandatory for new parents? No. What is the number one thing people are always asking you for help with? English/writing. What movie did you love the original but hated the sequel to? I remember the Ghost Rider sequel was nothing compared to the original. It was okay, but. Are you more talk and less action or vice versa? More talk. Have you ever given someone a handmade present? Yeah, especially as a kid. What type of person angers you the most? Probably those who can't put their pride aside for anything. What do you think should be a wonder of the world that currently isnât? I don't even know what they all are to get a proper grasp on the question. What comforts you on bad days? My mom and Sara, sleep, YouTube, sometimes regrettably food, etc. Do you treat yourself and your body with respect? Not very well. Something you eat that other people would find gross. *shrugs* Nothing that's too weird. Have you ever broken the law and didnât get caught, if so how? Yeah, and obviously by not screaming it to the world, but also because none are massive. Something you fear might change you. The aftermath of heartbreak. It still affects me today and makes me see less hope in love. What personality trait in people raises a red flag with you? Volatility. Have you ever resented someone, if so what for? "Stealing" Jason, and the other person for accusing me something of so fucking selfish and vile I don't even like saying it, especially when she was my damn therapist that I loved and trusted. How old do you think is too old to have a baby? "Old enough that getting pregnant would cause significant harm to you or the baby." <<<< How have you changed over the last five years? I've definitely become wiser and more open-minded. Have you ever painted a house? Nope. Have you ever had a surprise party (that was an actual surprise)? No. What makes you feel miserable? Eating badly (particularly too much sugar makes me feel shitty), doing nothing/extended boredom. Whatâs the best costume youâve ever worn? Don't have a clue. Whatâs been the hardest loss youâve had to take? Jason. A loss without actual death is, wow, awful. I mean death is too, but holy shit it hurts when that person chooses to leave you. Do you like sunny days or rainy days more? Depends on the temperature and my mood. Who is your favorite movie director and whatâs your favorite movie from them? Tim Burton, of course. Alice In Wonderland. What is the furthest youâve ever got a paper airplane to fly? Not very far. Nothing impressive. Do you like the person you are becoming? It depends on the context. Honestly, by this point, not really. Whatâs the highest youâve ever jumped into the water from? Not high at all. What inspires your ideas? More than anything, music. Just a single lyric, sometimes one word, spawns a sometimes very complex concept. Have you ever assembled furniture by yourself? No. Have you ever bolstered your resume to get a job you really wanted? No. I have a really, really hard time lying for a job. Have you ever had an internship, if not what would be your dream intern job? No. Do you prefer chicken, beef, or seafood? Chicken. Have you ever had a health scare? Yes. What do or did you hate the most about dating or the dating process? Opening up again. What do you frown upon when it comes to raising kids? Spanking. Have you ever been professionally photographed? Yeah. Do you influence people more than they influence you? I very much doubt that. If you could ask one person, alive or dead, only one question, what would you ask? If he regrets me. Do you buy anything organic, if so, what is it? I don't think so? What was the name of the first album you ever bought and who was it by? I believe it was You're Awful, I Love You by Ludo. Do you have any prejudices youâve admitted to yourself? No. Who is the very first friend you ever remember making and how old were you? Brianna; I was two. What makes you lose sleep? Stress. Anxiety. PTSD. Do you floss or use a toothpick when food gets stuck in your teeth? I floss. Have you ever made out in a bathroom? Pretty sure that's a negative. Ever physically fought with member of the opposite sex? YIKES no. Well, besides playfighting. Ever walked in on your friends having sex? No. Ever kissed a friendâs crush? No. Has anyone ever called cops on you? No. Do you swallow gum when youâre finished? Noooo that's so uncomf. Ever tackled someone to the ground? Not in a way that was a harsh fall. More like a crumbling to the floor. Where was the last place you fell asleep other than your bed? Hm. Maybe in the school library, but I doubt that, really. I don't think I ever actually fell asleep. Did the last person you kiss have piercings? No. Did your parents spoil you as a child? No. Have you ever had alcohol poisoning? No. Ever thrown up in public? Yes. Has anyone laid on your bed besides you? Yes. What bothers you more, when people lie or when people complain? Depends on the severity. I think lying is more hurtful, though. How many bracelets do you have on your wrists right now? Three. Who took your profile picture on Facebook? Me. Do you sleep on a certain side of the bed? More towards the left. Has anyone ever drunk called/texted you? No. Would you ever date anyone your parents disapproved of? Yeah. I'd consider their reasonings, of course, but it's my decision.
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