#but still it makes me sad and it makes me have a hard time talking to ppl abt oni

[brawberryz]

Please don't leave me alone

Batfam Yan! × Eva Pilot! Reader

Note:English is not my first language, sorry if there is any translation error

You were a normal student

Or well almost nothing was normal in this world, but in your life it was pretty normal

You were a first year student, you weren't very sociable but it's not like you didn't have friends either. You were the middle point of being someone extroverted and introverted

But that's not the main issue, a few days ago you had received a letter from your father, father...

Years ago you hadn't heard from him, well when you were younger you remembered him but since the incident you haven't seen him anymore

Since then you have been living with your teacher, he was a good guy and he was a good father figure for your depressed self

You didn't imagine that after so much time your father would want to talk to you although you didn't complain

You were in front of a telephone booth, you were trying to contact the boy in the photo which your father had sent to look for you

Richard "Dick" Grayson

But your attempts failed, all the telephone lines were cut so it was impossible to have some kind of contact, apparently it was because of the attack of something, you didn't know very well what but the streets were empty so it must be something serious and dangerous

"Ugh, I shouldn't be here..."

You said as you left the phone and picked up your bag, you were still in your school uniform, they hadn't even given you time to change, now you were here in the middle of an abandoned city with no signal

"I guess it won't make it in time, I should go to some shelter"

You said letting out a long sigh, you knew it wasn't a good idea to listen and come to this place, but your desire to be able to see your father after so long won but you were slowly regretting that

You put your bag on your shoulder and began to walk through the abandoned streets trying to find some kind of shelter to protect yourself

But before you could do anything a loud explosion was heard near you made the whole city shake like some kind of earthquake or schism, that explosion could have easily damaged your eardrums and made them bleed

"What's going on..."

You said scared looking up right where like some "airplanes?" Strangers came out of a place

And there you saw it... a giant thing maybe bigger than a 30-story building, it was too scary you had never seen anything like that before, your body was in shock and you weren't able to move

You tried with all your might to make your body react in some way but it was impossible, it was as if your feet were stuck to the ground

Some large missiles passed close to you and you instinctively crouched down protecting your head, whatever that thing was was too dangerous

You saw how those missiles barely did any damage to that creature, what kind of strange monster was that creature, the only thing you could do was watch in a daze as the fight developed

The creature threw something from its hands causing one of the planes to fall and to your bad luck it fell right next to you, you could barely react when the plane fell in front of you, you were lucky not to be crushed

But it seems luck was not on your side today (if it ever was) You were lucky) there was another explosion and the creature staggered towards you causing its foot to step on the plane causing a huge explosion, you fell to the ground and tried to cover yourself with your arms accepting your end

But you didn't feel anything, you heard the sound of a car braking hard in front of you and the door opening, you looked up and saw it

"Come in, sorry for being late"

The boy said giving you a sad smile, you could barely process everything that was happening it was too much for your poor teenage brain

"What are you waiting for? Come in now!"

The boy spoke again, it felt more like an order than a request, you quickly came out of your state of shock and quickly climbed into the passenger seat, buckling your seat belt tightly.

"Hold on tight, this is going to be a bit of a dangerous ride."

Before you could respond, Richard accelerated the car as fast as he could before the car was run over by the creature.

He drove as fast as the car would allow him until he reached a more remote place, you felt like you were about to die from the car flipping so much.

After a few minutes, Richard stopped on a small hill in the distance, he let out a sigh of relief and then turned his gaze to you.

"Sorry about that, I know it was too much to process but- wait a minute."

Richard stopped talking in the middle of his sentence as soon as he saw something in the window, he quickly took out a pair of binoculars from a small drawer in the car.

He quickly moved closer to the car window to see more clearly.

"Wait a minute, are they going to use the N-2 mine!?"

Richard said in surprise before grabbing your arm and pulling you against him to use his body as a shield.

"Bend down and hold on to me!"

You barely had time to react when a huge explosion was heard making everything nearby shake, with so many explosions you heard today you swore you were about to go deaf

A strong gust hit the car causing it to fall and spin around on the ground, you felt Richard hug you tighter, he wasn't going to allow you to get hurt in any way and if that meant he had to be some kind of human shield he was going to be

After a few minutes things calmed down and they were able to get out of the car unharmed

"Hey little one, are you okay?"

Richard asked worriedly looking at you on the ground trying to calm your labored breathing

"Yes...yes I'm fine"

You gave him a half smile, so many things had happened in less than 1 hour and your head was only full of doubts and more doubts

You just wanted to go home and have that monotonous life

"Okay, now help push the car"

You just nodded getting up from the ground and shaking off your uniform, you helped him push the car with all your strength

It was difficult the car was too heavy but after a few minutes they were able to do it

"Thanks for the help, (name)"

He gave you a grateful smile, he gave you a small pat on the head

"Don't worry, I should be the one who should thank you, thanks grayson"

You said shyly, in a way you were grateful that he had risked his life to protect you

"Just call me Richard, there's no need to be so formal"

You just nodded and then got into the car with him. It was going to be a long trip, but you felt a little safe with him. It was like having an older brother.

_

"This place is so big!"

You said in amazement walking through the large facilities, you had never been in a place like this

NORV was an amazing place, you couldn't believe that you were going to have something to do with this place

"Too big I would say.."

Richard said as he looked at a map of the place, he hadn't remembered that the place would be so confusing and giant

The two of you were going down an escalator, you were too focused on reading the manual that Richard had given you to pay attention to your surroundings

"I wonder where Barbara is..." he said in a small whisper "I'm sorry, I don't know the place that well"

The boy said embarrassed, you just nodded without paying much attention to what he was saying

You were walking for a few minutes until you reached a hallway

"I think it should be here, follow me"

He said grabbing your arm, you weren't going to tell him out loud but it bothers you a little that you touched you so freely, you felt that he had gained too much confidence in such a short time and that made you uncomfortable, he barely gave you your personal space and treated you as if he had known you all your life

You just made a small sound of acceptance and then continued walking, you got into a small elevator and you were there for a few seconds

Just when the elevator opened a red-haired woman appeared with a serious expression looking at Richard

"Ah!, hello Barbara, how long?"

Richard said greeting her with a smile, you just kept your eyes on the book pretending not to pay attention

The girl just nodded and got into the elevator with you

"I could say the same..."

She said in a monotone as she leaned against the wall of the elevator, Richard let out an awkward laugh as he adjusted his uniform

You just pretended not to feel the awkward atmosphere that the two of them radiated together

"Is this the girl Bruce was talking about?"

Barbara pointed at you, you just shrank further into your book

"Yes, the institute reported to us that she is the third kid chosen"

Mmm, I see, well it's nice to meet you"

He gave you a small smile as he gave your shoulders a small squeeze

"Likewise"

You nodded nervously, you returned your attention to the book at this moment you felt that your only safe place was this manual on the NORV facilities

"You and your father look so alike, it seems that neither of you are able to smile or show your emotions"

Richard let out a small laugh as he said that, Barbara simply nodded at Richard's poorly made joke

They continued to go up in the elevator, they began to talk about something that you didn't really understand nor did you care

They exited the elevator and arrived at a hallway, just as the three of them arrived and entered the door slammed

"I-it's really dark!"

You said confused, it's not that you were afraid of the dark you were just afraid of not seeing your way and tripping over something

But before anyone could answer the light went out Suddenly it turned on

And there it was, it was the biggest robot you had ever seen in your life, you could only see its head but it still looked big, it was buried in a bright pink liquid you wanted to ask what it was but you decided not to say anything

You decided to flip through the book to see if you could find any information about this giant robot

"You won't find any information there"

Barbara said staring at you

"Uh..."

You looked at her confused as you listened to what she was saying

"This is the latest combat weapons system created by humans, an artificial life form called...evangelion or in a few words unit 01"

You just nodded at all the information you received, you barely understood what she was telling you, this was too much to understand for a teenager like you

"Is this what my father does?"

You asked curiously staring at Barbara

"You got closer, congratulations, (name)"

You heard A voice, one you recognized all too well, you looked up and there he was

Watching you from a window above, it seemed as if nothing had changed he still had that cold and disinterested look he always gave you when you were younger

"D-dad..."

You said in shock, so much time had passed that you didn't even know how to start a conversation with him, what should you tell the man who left you for more than 10 years

"Activate the Eva"

Bruce said bluntly as he stared at you

"Activate the Eva!? But unit 01 is still in preliminary phase, did they lose their minds?"

Richard couldn't believe what Bruce was asking, it was too dangerous for you to get on that Eva, you could easily die or get hurt

The mere thought of you being hurt made Richard's stomach turn, he wasn't going to allow another innocent child to get hurt to fulfill Bruce's whims

"We have no choice, Richard"

Barbara said dryly

"But Damian is too hurt to be able to be a pilot and (Name) doesn't even know how to fly one!"

Richard tried to get Barbara or Bruce to see reason but his attempts were only ignored

"Well today he will learn, are you ready (name)?"

Barbara turned her gaze to you, you swallowed hard you felt too scared and confused were you supposed to get into that thing!?

"What...really?"

You said confused

"Yes..."

No There was time, all the pilots they had were too injured to be able to handle any Eva, (name) was the last salvation

The angel was approaching and causing destruction in its path, it was now or never, the fate of the world right now weighed on your shoulders

"But it took Damian more than 6 months to synchronize with the Eva! She barely arrived and if it's too dangerous and she won't stand it, have you thought about that!?"

Richard got defensive again trying to get Barbara to see reason

" (name) just needs to get into the capsule and everything will be fine" Barbara said "But-" Before Richard could speak again Barbara interrupted him "defending humanity from the angels is our highest priority, we need someone to be able to synchronize with the Eva even if the chances are almost zero"

Richard just stayed quiet, he knew she was right but he didn't want to admit it, he hated the way he felt his heart tighten every time he thought about the possibility of you getting hurt or worse yet dead

"Fine, but if something happens to (name), you'll regret it"

Richard spoke in a somber tone looking at Barbara, the woman just looked at him for a few seconds before just nodding

"Okay, (name) get ready you'll get on the Eva"

You just nodded, you didn't know what was about to happen but you didn't like it

_

You had woken up in a hospital bed, your whole body hurt, you felt like you had a bandage on your left eye

You barely had time to react when the door opened abruptly, there was Richard

He had a worried look on his face, before you could say anything he launched himself at you giving you a big hug

"(Name)! Thank god you'are okay I thought you were going to die..."

He said hugging you tighter, you didn't know what he meant by that you could barely remember what had happened but you thought that finally you were going to be able to be calm

But how wrong you were

The days passed faster than you would like, you were accepted to be an Eva pilot

It seems that in your fight with the angel the Eva went into an aggressive mode and controlled itself while you were in a state of shock

During your short time being an Eva pilot you learned to control it better But you still hated handling it

You managed to meet other Eva pilots called Tim and Damian

Tim was very talkative not as much as Richard but he still talked a lot, you made a small friendship with him

With Damian it didn't go so well, he was too quiet it seemed as if he had no emotions, you simply decided to leave him since you thought he didn't like you

Days passed and you met more people like Jason, stehp, Cass and Duke

Some were retired pilots and others who helped repair the Evas like Jason and Stehp

For the first time you felt important as if you really mattered

Too bad that happiness ends little by little

Every day that passed you felt like each one of them became more possessive and weird

Every time you met someone other than them that person disappeared out of nowhere

Every time you came back from a fight with an angel and was too hurt Richard treated you like a fucking baby

And you hated him too much, you were old enough to be able to take care of such superficial wounds

They didn't even let you be with other people other than them, they even fought to see who would sit with you at lunch, in those cases you simply went to your room to lock yourself in and eat

But you didn't even feel safe there, the last time you checked your room to clean it you found a hidden camera among your things, and there was only one person who would be able to do that

Bruce, that son of a bitch you swore that if you saw him again you would kill him

But you knew very well that you would never You were going to be able to do it

You had no one, Bruce was the only family you had left out there you were no one, not even your mother her death was still engraved in your head, you still had nightmares about it

The only thing you could do was ignore all of that and pretend it didn't affect you

You felt like you were tangled in a spider web and every time you moved you only got more tangled

Maybe you should just stop moving and hope that maybe at some point those spider webs would loosen and you could get out

But you knew it wasn't true

You were trapped just like an insect, being the spider's prey and you would stay trapped there until your body is completely rotted

Dying there without being able to be free again

What's the point of living if you're not even able to enjoy life

If you see any similarity with Evangelion chapter 1, it is literally lol

So far I think this is the longest one shot I wrote

I hope the person who asked me for this enjoys it, I'm really happy with the result

Maybe I'll do other one shots about this Evangelion AU 🔥

[wooataes]

Real Eyes, Fake Lies (Part 11)

Pairing: soulmate!Lee Jihoon x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 2.8k

Warnings: Hanahaki!AU, angst, all hurt no comfort, swearing, tears, the usual 🙂‍↕️

Summary: What do you do when you find out the one person that was created by the universe to be yours doesn’t want you back?

A/N: It has been WAY too long since I've updated this story and I apologise for that 🙂‍↕️ I finally feel like I've gotten my life back on track to finally be able to post a long awaited update!! Thank you to everyone who still reads and enjoys my fics, it means a lot ! 🥹 - Tae 💜🌸✨

Previous | Next | Masterlist

Ask to be added to my taglist!

“Do you know what’s wrong with him?”

“His girlfriend left him, genius. What do you think is wrong with him?”

Jihoon rolls his eyes. His housemates have as much subtlety as an earthquake. Their naturally loud voices seep through the closed door of his bedroom as he stares at his ceiling, a sigh leaving his lungs in the darkness as the outside voices drone on.

“Hyung,” Mingyu sighs. “It’s been over a week now… Should we call someone?”

“Who would we call?” Junhui retorts. “His soulmate? Because up until last week, I thought his soulmate was Ji-ah.”

The mention of her name creates another pit in Jihoon’s stomach. He hates it. He wishes he could just get over the stupid emotions that run through his veins at the mere thought of his not-soulmate, now also not-girlfriend.

“His parents are hours away and he has no siblings that we can contact.” Junhui continues, frustration laced in his voice. “I don’t know who we could call.”

“Doesn’t hyung have a cousin who-”

“I can hear everything you guys are saying. You know that, right?” 

Jihoon’s hard voice carries through the door, his housemates falling silent on the other end.

“Jihoon-ah.” A deep voice mutters, causing him to tense up. He knows that Wonwoo knows how to get through to him. “Can we talk?”

After a long pause, Jihoon’s bedroom door slightly creaks open. “Wonwoo, I told you yesterday,” he stares at the ground, refusing to make eye contact with the older man. “I am fine-”

“You are not, Jihoon-ah. And we both know it.” 

“How do you know?” He snips.

“You haven’t left your bedroom since Ji-ah left you last week.” Jihoon sucks his teeth at her name.

“I never left my bedroom before she left me.” He hisses back.

“Yes, you did.” Wonwoo retorts back. 

“When? To go on dates with her?” he barks. “To take her out? To go visit her family? Well, guess what? She is gone, Wonwoo, so I have a whole lot more free time and I choose to spend that time at home.” his voice cracks slightly, bottom lip shaking as he moves to close the door once more, his frown deepening as Mingyu grabs a hold of the door before it closes.

“Hyung, we’re sorry.” Mingyu’s voice is softer now as he looks at him with sad eyes. “We’re so fucking sorry that you’re going through this but we are here for you and want to be there for you.”

“I don’t need-”

“Please don’t push us away.” Wonwoo frowns, his hand resting over Jihoons. “Jihoon-ah…”

Jihoon shakes his head quietly, a small hiccup leaving his lips. “Wonwoo, I promise, I’m fine.” He gently lets his hand fall from Wonwoo’s as he moves to shut the door to his bedroom once more, wiping the stray tears that threaten to spill from his eyes.

“I truly don’t know what to do, guys.” Jihoon winces at the defeated tone of his older housemate’s voice as he climbs back into the comfort of his bed once more, hoping to forget about the world around him for a little bit longer.

Jihoon heaves a loud sigh as he steps into his first Film Studies class in nearly two weeks, slumping down in his chair, rubbing at his temples slightly as Professor Park begins his usual droning on. He really should be listening to the lecture at hand, but he can’t bring himself to. Not when he can feel the eyes of multiple people in the class lingering on him. He’s sure that word has gotten around now about his very public dumping and the fact that Ji-ah was obviously never his soulmate. He hates that he can feel the sympathy radiating off of his peers, and even off of you, his real soulmate, sitting directly beside him with your stupid perfect hair and stupidly neat notes that you wordlessly offered him to help catch him up on the classes he missed. He accepts them graciously, spending most of the lesson copying your notes into his notebook.

“Professor,” a deep voice from the back of the room calls out near the end of the lesson, drawing Jihoon from his thoughts. 

“Yes, Jaebeom?” 

Your soulmate glances at you at the sight of your body tensing up at the mention of the newcomer’s name. He tilts his head slightly as he feels nerves begin to bubble in the pit of his stomach from you, causing him to raise a brow. You take a slow breath before scribbling idly on your page again, indifference on your face, but Jihoon knows it’s a front. 

Why are you so tense?

“About the extension on our group project?” Jaebeom’s voice lulls out in a drawl, a clear cockiness hidden in his tone. 

“Ah yes,” Professor Park hums, nodding his head. “I know some of you have gone ahead and already submitted your essays and presentations to me, and I’m thankful for you guys for getting these to me on time and even earlier. For the remainder of you all who have yet to submit your projects, I’ve extended the deadline by two weeks, due to an unavoidable event I must attend.”

Jihoon hears his classmate’s sighs of relief, and in turn, he breathes out as well. He knew he had neglected his end of his project with you for the last week, and he feels grateful that he can make up for it.

“I do hope the rest of you,” Professor Park sends a look to the back of the room, “get this done in due time. Class dismissed.”

Jihoon wordlessly offers your notebook back to you, a frown forming on his face when he sees you duck your head, letting your hair fall over your face. He glances to see a taller man wearing low jeans and a beat up baseball cap on his head march- no, strut down the stairs to reach the door, sauntering out with what Jihoon can only describe as a sleazy grin on his face. Once he steps out of the room, you immediately collect your things, bow your head to Jihoon with a little smile, and jump up to leave the classroom.

“Professor,” your soulmate approaches the teacher. “I appreciate you extending the deadline-”

“Oh, Jihoon-ssi!” Professor Park smiled. “Are you feeling better? Miss Choi told me that you were unwell when she submitted your project to me last week.”

“Oh.. Yeah, I’m feeling alri- Wait. Submitted?” Jihoon blinked.

“Yes,” he smiled. “Both of your arguments had wonderful points to pit against each other. Well done! I will be posting your grades in a few weeks!”

You finished off the project for him? Why are you so… nice?

“Uh… Thank you, Professor.” Jihoon bows his head in thanks before slowly stepping out of the classroom, starting to walk in the direction of home, the sound of thunder rumbling in the distance.

Jihoon takes a deep sigh as he finds himself sitting down at the park bench that is so familiar to him now, letting the raindrops land on his clothes and face as he tilts his head back.

“Jihoon-ssi?” your voice is quiet over the sound of the loud rain, but Jihoon could hear you. He always does. He blinks as he feels the heavy raindrops that land on his hoodie abruptly stop, looking up to see a pastel umbrella being held over his now drenched body. “What are you doing out here?”

Jihoon shrugs quietly for a moment. “I… don’t know.” He glances down at the wet sleeves of his hoodie. “Just.. Thinking.”

“Well, I think you should think away from a torrential downpour next time,” you quip with a little smile, hoping the joke makes him crack a smile.

“Nah,” he hums. “It’s comforting, the rain..” 

“Comforting?” You echo, tilting your head innocently as he hums a confirmation.

“Mm. Rain doesn’t have colour.” He glances at you for a moment, slightly amused by the cluelessness on your face as you just blink at him. “Ah, it’s silly, really,” he continues. “The sky doesn’t have colour when it rains, it reminds me of what the world looked like before everything changed. Everything is so different now.”

“You’re right.” You agree quietly. “Everything is different.”

“Thank you,” Jihoon mumbles after a brief silence. “For helping finish off the project while I was… y’know.”

“Oh, that?” You shrug. “That was nothing. You had all the arguments, I just articulated them for you. Figured that you already had enough on your plate so I thought you wouldn’t mind if I submitted a little early to get it out of the way for the both of us.”

“How do you do it?”

“Huh? Do what?”

“... Live.” Jihoon’s voice is barely above a whisper as you settle down on the park bench beside Jihoon, still holding the umbrella over his head. “How do you just live life so damn happily while you feel like absolute shit all the time? And don’t deny that you don’t, I have felt every single emotion you have felt for weeks now.”

You pause for a moment, looking up at the sky before humming. “I suppose I just got used to it.” You shrug. “It kind of just became like a background noise for me. It’s just always there.” 

“Even when the pain is doubled now? Because of me?”

You shrug once more. “It’s not something I haven’t dealt with before. I can feel the pain for both of us, Jihoon-ssi. It’s okay.” You give him a little smile. “I have had a lot more practice at loss than you have.”

Jihoon feels the irritation bubbling up inside him slowly.

“What is that supposed to mean?”

You blink in confusion as you glance at him. “Huh?”

“I have experienced loss too, you know.”

“I know that, I just-”

“I am more than capable of feeling these emotions too.” He frowns.

“I know,” you emphasize, “I just wanted you to know you don’t have to face them on your own.”

Jihoon scoffs quietly. Who does she think she is, giving him advice on how to deal with his emotions? “I know that too. You don’t need to point out the obvious, Choi.”

“Do you know that?” You retort, raising an eyebrow. “Because from what Mingyu told me, you’ve barely left your room until this week.”

“Ugh,” Jihoon groans, leaning his head back. “Am I not allowed to have time to myself?”

“Of course you are,” you sigh. “But you’re also-”

“You know, you should think about facing your emotions on your own instead of relying on everyone else around you.” Jihoon hisses at you with a glare as you freeze with wide eyes. 

“H-huh?” He can feel your doubt seeping into his veins.

“Your brother, his soulmate, Soonyoung, Seokmin,” he rambles. “They’re always at your beck and call when they could be living their own lives with each other and not have to worry about you every five fucking minutes like you’re their child.”

“I…” You balk, Jihoon wincing at the feeling of your stomach twisting inside him. But he doesn't care, he wants you to hurt as much as he does. It’s your fault he doesn’t have Ji-ah anymore, afterall.

“Just go away!” He barks. “When will you realize that your help isn’t needed?! You’re not needed! I lost the one girl I truly fucking loved because of YOU! Why would I want you around?! Leave me alone already!”

After a long silence, Jihoon finally turns his head to look at you, staring at him for what seems like hours with the same look that you had on the day you brushed hands for the first time. That isn’t what frightens your soulmate, though. What frightens him is the fact that he can’t feel anything inside him anymore, besides his own pain.

“... sorry, I’ll leave you alone.” You mumble robotically, delicately placing the umbrella beside him before rising and walking through the heavy rain in the direction of your house, letting the rain run down your clothes.

“Fuck.” Jihoon sighs heavily and buries his face into his hands, squeezing his eyes shut as he hears your footsteps move further and further away.

He needs to apologize. He knows he does. He knows he said those words out of anger and hurt, and he knows you definitely didn’t deserve it. 

But why can’t he find it in himself to go to you and do it? You’re literally two tables away from him right now.

Jihoon, he scolds himself, it’s been days. You need to man up and tell her you’re sorry. 

Could he be worrying a little now because since he confronted you, he has felt no emotions whatsoever from you? Has he finally lost the tether from you?

“Hello you!!” A loud, cheery voice snaps him into reality. He blinks as he stares at his cup of ramen in his hand, fidgeting on the hard steel of the cafeteria chair underneath him, trying to figure out where the loud voice had come from.

Seungkwan makes his way over to where you’re sitting, draping himself over your back. Before he can ask how you are, you jolt up quickly, scooting away from him like you’ve been burned.

“Hey.” You give him a little smile, pressing yourself up against the wall. “Where’s Hansol? You should be with Hansol.”

Seungkwan’s face contorts slightly as he sticks his lips out in almost a pout. “He had to run to make his next class… Bug, what’s wrong-”

“I actually have to run too, Kwan.” You stammer out quickly, grabbing your backpack and stepping out from behind the table. “Talk later?”

“But, you haven’t even touched your lunch…” his voice fades out as he watches you rush quickly out of the cafeteria, surprise etched on his face.

Jihoon watches on, just as surprised as Seungkwan as he reaches the table with him, Soonyoung and Seokmin.

“Okay, what the hell was that? What happened to Bug?” Seungkwan immediately questions Soonyoung, who upon further inspection, looks just as out of it as you are.

“We don’t know,” Seokmin speaks for his soulmate. “Every time she’s at home, she stays locked up in her room and only leaves to cook dinner for us and clean up. She didn’t even come down for movie night the other night.”

Your soulmate’s eyes widened slightly as Soonyoung took a deep breath. “Something has happened and she won’t tell us what. She doesn’t even speak when she’s at home anymore.”

“We’ve tried to talk to her, get her to come out of her room, do anything, but she doesn’t budge. I’m getting worried.” Seokmin bites his lip.

“I don’t know what the hell has happened to our Bug. She is literally just doing fucking chores and whenver one of us tries to hang out..” your best friend rubs at his temples. “She keeps insisting we hang out with our soulmates. With each other. I don’t know why the fuck that doesn’t mean she can’t hang out with us too.”

Jihoon feels sick as your housemate’s words sink in to him.

When will you realize your help isn’t needed? You’re not needed!

Fuck.

“Jesus Christ, Jihoon-ah.” Wonwoo breathes out when Jihoon finally steps through the door. “You were supposed to be back four hours ago. What the hell were you- Jihoon-ah?” 

His eyes widened at the sight of his housemate stepping under the lights of the hallway, lip trembling and hair sticking in six different directions. Jihoon truly didn’t mean to take so long making it home. He supposes he lost track of time wandering campus with his racing mind.

He knew his words had gotten to you. At the moment it felt good, for you to feel the pain he did. But now? Seeing his friends, your family agonizing over how detached you are? 

What has he done?

“Jihoon…” Junhui looks on worriedly, reaching forward to slip the backpack off his housemate’s shoulders.

“I… I knew what I was getting into when I chose to date her, Wonwoo.” His voice quivers as he stares at the ground. “I knew that she already had a soulmate, but… I-I didn’t think…” 

“Of course you didn’t.” Wonwoo agrees.

“She told me that he had moved countries years ago… There was no chance he’d come back…” a small tear slides down his cheek as his housemate hums in acknowledgement. “And when I… when I found my soulmate and I-” Jihoon chokes back a sob. “And I rejected them to keep a hold of Ji-ah…” His soft cries echo into the quiet hallway. “I… I felt their heart break inside of me, I’ve felt their pain for weeks a-and now I feel their pain on top of my own and… fuck, I broke her, man.”

“Oh, Jihoon…” Junhui sighs sympathetically as Wonwoo pulls Jihoon towards him, bringing his head into his shoulder as his arms wrap around his back in a warm embrace. 

Jihoon pauses for a moment. He blinks once, twice, and a third time before he lets out a soft sob, his hands gripping onto Wonwoo’s shoulders desperately as he buries his face into the soft fabric of his shirt.

“Hyung,” he chokes out. “I r-really fucked up.”

Real Eyes, Fake Lies Taglist

@vixensss @hemmingsness @lizzymizzy-blog @kawennote09 @breakfastburritosattiffanys @im-gemmy @friendlywraith @devinkelsey19 @kameko-ko @mar-627 @Woozieeeee @milopenne @stellauniverse @addicsvt @changbinisms @phenomenalgirl9 @lanatheawesome @maidachi @jeanjacketjesus @sunnynapp @jihanniee @reallyshypost @jaeminsbuckethat @sweetchelly @iarayara @opheliaas-stuff @claireleem @hotricewoozi @beardedartgamingbakery @sumzysworld @lavayeon @unusuallyshy @woozixo @mirxzii @mhlsymlysn @seventeenthingsblr @kwanniesboo @loomsuhcats @markleehee @scuzmunkie @tumblerluvver @wooanghae @xxpr3ttyk173rxx @comingupwithacoolnameishard @whorecore-world @sana-is-ms-rmty @bitterbluemorningstar @reverieisntready @gaslysainz @softforyoongles @artemisdoe @studykaystudy @kpopishealing @kyrojackson @winchestersllama @palmsugr @j0j11 @cookiearmy @lateforlatte @eisaspresso

Permanent Taglist

@misshale21 @etaerealboy @kawennote09 @im-gemmy @devinkelsey19 @woozieeeee @loveless-lie @lixiel0ver @keymins @nen-nyy @lisaaaaamanobannn @i-dont-give-a-fok @miriamxsworld @jovialpartyneckoaf @jojowantstocry @roe-sinning @sarahisupset @sun-daddy-yoriichi @coveyland @side-angel @ateez-atiny

[paperyowl]

This is a weird ask. Feel free to ignore it.

But post breakup Buck staring at Rockon thinking Tommy has a date with this hot silver daddy (he ain't blind) and confronted them cos he's jealous to find out he was wrong. They bought him home for either a threesome (cos David never had one) or maybe just cuddles cos looks at the sad puppy and doting on Buck.

(what buck doesn't know is that Donovan is Tommy's cousin with a hilarious sense of humor who texted him the very next day to collect his man cos he ain't sharing his daddy with his cousin's ex no matter how pretty he is)

It's not weird at all. I love the idea! And I have two vastly different thoughts for this - lets go with this one for now. (I might have changed it a little bit - but I definitely need that threesome happening sometime still.)

+++

Pick up, idiot.

Calling me names doesn't make me want to talk to you more.

Tommy dropped his phone somewhere on the couch, not really bothering to check where it fell. He was not in the mood for his cousin's antics. His week had been so busy that Tommy was aching in more places than he knew he could. Maybe was is getting too old for this job.

Or perhaps he'd been slacking. Not eating well, not sleeping enough. These days, Tommy is usually good at taking care of himself. A hard-learnt habit, but he'd put in the work.

Not that it mattered now when his mind kept circling back to the rather sweet sentiment of someone saying, 'You don't have to do everything by yourself' and 'I'll take care of you'.

It was a certain someone with those impossibly warm baby blues that Tommy was trying very hard not to think about. (And failing miserably.) He deserved this. After all, he'd been the one to implode what they had.

His phone kept buzzing. After the third or fourth time - which frankly was ridiculous Don, what the fuck, get a life - Tommy hunted it down in the cushions and unlocked it.

Only to almost drop it when he saw the last message was a photo of -

"Hi, cuz," Donovan drawled, sounding deeply satisfied with himself. But Tommy wasn't focused on that at all.

"How do you have a photo of Evan? Is he there with you? Why is he with you?"

"Okay, first of all, ouch, I think I'm insulted-"

"Donovan."

Tommy heard his own voice rise and wondered since his fuse had become this short. Then he remembered that Donovan had always had this way of riling him up. That's why they hadn't talked in months. They'd been fighting about something; Tommy couldn't really remember what it had been about.

"Figured that pic would get you to call me," Donovan said. "No 'Hello, my favourite cousin, how are you doing?' It's nice to hear you, too, you know."

"Don't be mean, Rocker," another voice said in the background, one that Tommy didn't know. Or actually, he might - he'd heard it once before, and now he could remember what the fight had been about. But his focus was somewhere else completely.

"Hi. How are you. It's been too long. I miss you - is Evan okay?"

Donovan laughed at the way only one of those sentences ended in a note high enough to count as a question. Tommy hissed his name again, and finally got a 'yeah, yeah, alright.' before the phone was handed off to -

"Hi," Evan said softly. He sounded like he'd been crying. His sniffeling was hard on Tommy. "Your cousin and his partner are nice."

Tommy couldn't help but scoff. "Maybe they're doppelgängers."

There is a momentary pause, and Tommy is almost certain that the rustling he hears is a bit of a grapple for the phone. But it's still Evan on the other end when the noise dies down.

"I wouldn't know about that," Evan said. "You never mentioned them."

Fuck.

"Evan-"

"So we're back to Evan?"

"Bu-"

"Don't," Evan pleaded. "Just. Don't."

"Want me to go and rough him up a little? I still remember where he lives."

Donovan's offer sounded weak, and Tommy could imagine the way he had probably put a hand on Evan's shoulder. Or his back.

Evan didn't exactly laugh, but it was similar enough. The sound still unravelled something in Tommy's chest.

"Can we talk in person?"

"I'd like that," Evan breathed. "Just maybe not tonight?"

"Of course. Do you want me to text-"

"I'll take over from here," Donovan said, and Tommy vaguely heard the muffled noise of the receiver being covered. He checked his watch, aware that whatever conversation happened on their end took less than a minute, but to Tommy, it felt like ages more.

"You free tomorrow? Wanna come over for lunch?" Donovan asked without any lead-up, startling Tommy a little. "I somehow think you have a bit more of a reason to say 'yes' this time."

Tommy huffed a laugh.

"Yeah. Yeah, I'm free," he said. "Is he alright?"

"Are you going to stop being an idiot?"

"Don."

Donovan sighed. "Listen, I know it's not really my place, but I know you, and I can make an educated guess what happened here."

"I don't like you," Tommy groused.

And like the total bastard that he was, Donovan only laughed and responded, "But you love him."

Like that was a normal thing to say. Tommy spluttered.

"Just be here tomorrow at noon, I'll cook" Donovan completely ignored Tommy's rather childish comment, 'You can cook?' and just went on. "And I'll introduce you to Deacon."

"The ominous partner that you wouldn't tell me more about when I asked?"

That was a rather shortened version of the outright shouting match of a phone call that they'd had all those weeks ago. There had been a lot of implications about very different, and Donovan wouldn't even tell him the name of the man who had him all secretive.

It was easy to read between the lines, and perhaps Tommy had been protective in exactly the wrong way. But he'd never been able to help that when it came to Donovan. The only family member that Tommy cared about.

"He just filed for divorce," Donovan told him. Tommy hissed in sympathy, starting to apologize for the whole fight, but Donovan went on: "And you wouldn't believe the things he can do with his tong-"

"Shut up."

Donovan kept laughing at him, and Tommy felt too exhausted to do something about it. And perhaps a little relieved.  

"Noon, you said?"

He might have only imagined it, but Donovan softened a little after that. But he proved he was still an absolute asshole when he yelled out, 'Hey Evan, say goodnight to your daddy,' and like the absolute cheeky brat he was, Evan did just that. (Tommy almost choked on his own spit, but after hanging up, he felt like he could breathe properly for the first time in months.)

[lynzishell]

Prev // Next

Transcript below the cut:

Iris: That was so good. I’m going to be thinking about that dinner for weeks. Ezra: How have you lived here your whole life and never been to Elliot’s? Iris: Eh, there are certain places I’ve always avoided because it’s where all the tourists go.

Ezra: Do a lot of tourists come to the Bay? Iris: Oh yeah, you’d be surprised. People love a charming little coastal town. Ezra: That makes sense. I mean, that’s why I moved here.

Iris: Why did you move? Ezra: Uh [heavy exhale] I needed a fresh start. Iris: Because of your divorce? Ezra: Yeah, pretty much.

Iris: What happened? Ezra: We just… [shrugs] grew apart. Iris: That’s a very vague and cliché answer. What’s the real answer? Ezra: [chuckles] Okay, um, the real answer is… religion. Iris: Oh.

Ezra: When we got married, we believed in the same things. But then, I lost someone close to me, and I began to question everything… everything I’d been taught my whole life to be true… and the more I questioned, the more it all felt like bullshit. For a long time, we didn’t talk about it. I still played the part, and I continued going to church with her to save her the discomfort of people asking after me, and I think that made it easier for us to ignore. But when we started talking about having children, we couldn’t agree on how to raise them, what to teach them, and we realized that it was never going to work. We still loved each other, but we’d become fundamentally different. And it was… sad.

Iris: So, you really did grow apart. Ezra: Some things are cliché for a reason. Iris: Are you still in touch? Like, did you stay friends? Ezra: No. There are no hard feelings, but we agreed a clean break was for the best.

Iris: You’re lucky you figured all this out before having children. A lot of people don’t. Ezra: Very true. Iris: Is that still something you want? Kids? Ezra: I think so, yeah.

Ezra: What about you? Iris: What about me? Ezra: Marriage? Kids? Religious affiliations? Iris: Oof. Pretty heavy topics for a first date, don’t you think?

Ezra: You brought it up. And besides, if you count coffee, this is technically our third date. Iris: Hm. Do you always wait until the third date to kiss someone? Or are you just not that into me? Ezra: Oh, I’m into you. I’m just waiting for the right time.

Iris: Well, if you ask me, now feels pretty good. Ezra: It does, but… Iris: But?

Ezra: It kinda feels like you’re trying to distract me. Iris: I don’t know what you mean.

Ezra: Then answer the questions. Iris: [sighs] Fine. No, I’ve never been married. Yes, I- I want kids. And no, religion is not my thing.

Ezra: That wasn’t so hard, was it?

Iris: No more talking.

[shaylene-the-praline]

rambling under the cut 😩

I think there's just truly something deeply rooted within that doesn't allow me to connect closely with anyone even if they have good intentions. I've been thinking back today for whatever reason, and that's just the truth 😩

There was really only one guy on here that I ever really let get to know me. We'd talk on the phone, (google voice, not my phone number ☠️) and I really did genuinely enjoy it for a while. Out of the many manipulative pieces of shit I've encountered on here, he wasn't one, so I let myself try to allow a friendship, life wasn't treating me so well at the time.

That was hard enough for me, then he started wanting to meet up, and I automatically just ran away from the whole situation completely and cut it off. I didn't ghost, I just apologized and said I don't want what he wants. Like I said, he was an amazing and interesting guy, I wonder what he's doing sometimes, but he didn't understand how terrified I was.

I do take accountability on the fact I could have explained sooner that I didn't want to take the friendship that far to a relationship...but at the time I was going through so much, and I didn't want to lose someone that wasn't out to get things from me. So I let it build on his end instead of saying it was going too far, and for that I was wrong.

Months and months later, it still rings the same, it's just so hard to let anyone in. I've encountered people that aren't liars or laced with ulterior motives, but it doesn't really change anything. As soon as things go beyond casual, I clam up and go into extreme panic 😩

It's obviously something that's going to take a while to disarm, and it makes me sad because it does promote a very internally lonely lifestyle

[akindaflora]

Say it with Conviction

Bangchan (idol) x Reader (Fluff)

Warnings: Thoughts about depression, Insecurities in not being enough, Some kissing and some suggestive themes were mention. Bangchan is called Chan, Channie, and Christopher.

Description: Morning depression hits you hard as you awoke in your lover arm. He finds you crying and he comforts you with words of passion and truth expressing his love for you.

Author note: Hey gang was feeling major morning depression and I just couldn't help but think about Chan and how he might comfort a lover in deep insecurity about their relationship. Instead of mopping I wrote this. Now glad that I did because in a way it did help me feel less alone in my little delusional bubble. Hope this warms you as much as it did me when writing this story. :)

WORD COUNT 2,357

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You have always dealt with deep depression since you could remember. Always sad on days you should be the happiest scared for the start of a new year wondering if worse things will come. But when you got together with Chan, you did your best to hide the sadness away. Afraid he would leave like all the others did when they found you crying over nothing or laying in your bed like the wakening of a funeral.

“You are always sad, why can’t you see the good in the world,”

“You are so self-centered it’s not always about your problems,”

“I can’t take it anymore Y/N it’s your birthday and all you can do is be anxious,”

“You need help and I just can’t be it,”

The phrasing of words from past lovers cut through your heart like a knife. Constantly afraid you were undeserving of love and constantly holding back to show only the best sides of yourself. It had been a problem with most of your relationships. And yet while you tried to build your walls so high only a few ever stood up to the test. Your close friends who'd never let you shut them out and to your surprise Chan.

That was the most surprising thing about your relationship with Chan. Every time you tried to push him away he’d do something unexpected getting a laugh out here and there. Finding the root of the problem before you could even find the words to explain. Even going so far as to wash you when the world was heavy. And he never said a word against it only that you should always feel comfortable talking to him about anything. He made it his purpose that you were to always feel love even if he was miles away. And when you simply needed space to process he would give you it but never stopped at making sure you eat by sending a few deliveries here and there. Sending a bouquet of your favorite flowers with simple love notes that remind you why he loved you.

Even when you felt alone he was always there. Apart of you was afraid that one day he’d wake up and leave. Walk through the door and never speak to you again but every day he found new ways to stay. Planning trips so you always had something to look forward to. Buying matching clothes or jewelry so you’d both have a piece of each other no matter the distance. He always did his best to respect your boundaries and still somehow pushed the limit that you didn’t know could be pushed.

But as you lay on his chest listening to his heartbeat you couldn’t help but to let a few tears slide down your face. If there was one thing Chan was scared of in your relationship it was your tears. “You never make a noise when you're sad, please find me don’t close yourself off, you don’t even have to say a word,” he would say as he would caress your head and hold you like it was all he was ever made to do. And while you wanted to wake him up you didn’t. The voices in your head had been growing these days. Reminding you of all the things he did for you but what did you do for him?

Nothing

The voice ranged deep in your head reminding you of feelings you did your best to talk yourself out of. As if he could sense your sadness in his sleep his hand that rested around you tightened pulling you closer to him, his spirit trying to remind you that you were his everything. Tears fell from your face even more like a damn breaking gushing from your eyes. You thought about getting up to whip your eyes before he woke but you remained frozen in his warmth more afraid to ruin the sleep that he desperately needed. No matter the painful thoughts telling you to leave him before he did. You couldn't, he is everything you could have ever wished for.

With that thought you carefully tilted your head to look at him. He was smiling in his sleep, your heart clenching at your lover. You slowly brought a hand to his face pushing away the wild hair that peaked towards his closed eyes. And softly you fell into a trace slowly running your hands on his nose. Softly touching around the shape of his lips. He slightly shudders at the feeling of your touch and his eyes slowly opening. His hand sleepily looking for your face but his eyes shot open at the feeling of your tears.

“what’s wrong baby,” he said voice groggy with sleep as he turned to face you not letting go of your waist. “did you have a nightmare?” he said whipping the tears from your eyes. You only smiled at him, your morning sadness slipping away at every touch.

“It’s nothing do you want breakfast?” you asked stroking his cheek as his eyes looked at you with worry frowning only a bit at your dismissal of your own emotions. He studied your face looking deep into your eyes searching for whatever may be the cause to make you cry so early in the morning.

“It’s not nothing if it makes you cry, tell me what’s wrong I'd find a way to make winter stop if it made you too cold or hid the sun away if it made you too hot. There is nothing in this world that’ll stop me from caring even about the simplest things that make you cry, tell me please so I can find a way to bring you peace,” he said with urgency. You only smiled quietly at his determination to bring you joy.

“but I'm happy right now see I'm smiling,” you said giving him a light peck to ease his mind. “your the reason I'm smiling now so you have nothing to worry about,” you said running you fingers over his furrowed brow you began to try and leave the bed. Key word tried. Chan didn't let go only pulling you closer. Rubbing softly at your back gliding up and down from your arms as he looked see into your eyes.

“Yeah but I found you crying, why didn’t you wake me what do I always say,” he said but as he started you said the words in sync, “Always find me” him giggling at your joking expression. “it’s nothing to worry about I promise,” you said after he still didn’t let go. He only pulled you in more in response. Your head back to his chest as he caressed your head. You couldn’t help but sigh in relief. Tightening your arms around his waist.

After what felt like hours only a few seconds he spoke again into your head. “You know when you say it’s nothing, I get afraid that you’ll leave. I’m afraid that I’ll never be your cure anymore,” he said quietly almost in a whisper. If you weren’t so close you’d probably miss it. Your head rose from his chest quickly as you looked into his eyes sternly. “I would never leave you, Chan, if anything I’m more afraid you’ll leave me thinking I’m too much or too little,” you said caressing his head softly. Trying to push away the fear from his mind.

“Is that why you were crying this morning,” he asked quietly. Putting your head back in his chest you sighed. He always found a way to wiggle the truth out of you. You both never being good at hiding from each other. It was always scary how well you both could see each other and how easy it was to confess your darker sides. But yet you never ran from it. If anything it brought you both closer like it did in this moment.

Tracing shapes on his chest you began to whisper out, “I’m afraid I don’t do enough for you,” you said quietly. He remained quiet as if giving you space to explain more as his grip tightened slightly. “You do so much for me love, you give me space when I need it, you buy me flowers and food and you even help me wash when I can’t. I’m afraid all I do is take from you. I’m worried I don’t add up to you,” you said with a bit more courage. He pulled back slightly pulling you both up to sit and look at each other but he didn’t let go. Fear ranged in your eyes as he did so worried that your words had woken him from this dream to a nightmare of reality.

He looked in the distance as if trying to find the words. This is it said the voice in your head he’s gonna finally break up with you.

He took a deep breath before looking at you carefully reaching for your face to rub away the tears that flowed with ease. And he softly kissed your forehead before he spoke.

“My love, you do more for me than you can even see,” he said with determination. “I’m never leaving you if anything you’d leave me. You do so much for me. When I’m sick you take care of me with such care. When I get hurt from practice you force me to rest and even go so far as to find ways to ease my pain. You make me lunches with cute notes that taste only of your love. When it’s my birthday you make me the most beautiful cake and get only the most thoughtful gifts that I don’t even think about. When I’m stressed from work you give me massages that help ease my mind. When I go to bed sometimes I get too excited to sleep because I can’t wait to experience another day with you. You fill my mind even when I dream it’s only about you. You’re so caring and kind and you have these moments of true bliss that I work hard to keep on your face. Hell, even now when you are crying you are more worried about me. You are my everything I'd never leave you.” In between every sentence that left his mouth, you couldn't help but smile gripping onto him as if he disappeared and he did the same looking into your eyes with worry as he said each sentence. But no matter how worried he was there was a fire of determination to prove his love was real and that you were his end game. “if anything I'm trying to find ways to keep you with me forever. I’d plead to the gods just to have you again in another life,” he said again rubbing your cheek as you laughed.

“Your obsessed with me aren’t you,” you said sweetly looking into his eyes. He only nodded smiling at your smile. “Good because I’m just as obsessed with you,” you said back. his smiling deepening as he rushed to take your lips.

“You’re forever mine,” he said in between pecks. You giggled at his possessives. “And your forever mind right,” you asked questioning. He looked at you with slight confusion a small pout. “Say it with conviction,” he said looking into your eyes studying your face as you smiled again, “Your forever mine,” you said this time with just as much determination as him. He smiled as he peck your lips.

“Louder,” he said simply. “say it again but louder,” he said again pleading running through his voice.

“YOUR FOREVER MINE,” you said again. Him slightly wincing at your loudness but he giggled as he pecked your lips again.

“And don’t you dare forget it,” he said going back in for a longer kiss. Deepening as your lips moved. You sighed happily feeling every loving thought every loving touch he tried to tattoo upon your heart your soul.

The kiss grew with urgency to help you remember this moment for the next time that stupid voice was in your head.

He suddenly pulled away but not before pecking the areas of your face. You giggled in response, “Channie” you said softly with giggles still slipping from your lips. He pulled back so he could kiss your lips softly only touch your lip as if stamping his love with approval.

He pulled back again this time picking you up in his arms as he led you to the kitchen. You laughed loudly and slapped his chest softly.

“What are you doing,” you said as he walked looking down at you with a smile.

“Oh nothing just taking the love of my life to the kitchen so we can have breakfast together,” he said as if it were the simplest thing in the world.

Your heart beating at his words and looking at his face for any lies or anything foul but as you looked you only found his love for you. You only leaned up kissing his cheek. “And what does the love of my life want to eat,” you said whispering in his ear. His cheeks blushing at your question.

He smirked a little something naughty brewing in his mind, “I’d say you but sadly humans have these things called stomachs and while I think you are more than enough I guess I can settle for some pancakes and maybe if you're keen I can have a little nibble of you,” he said setting you down on the counter. You looked away as a deep blush settled onto your face. Still to this day, you could never understand how he could be so sweet and charming to so devilish in a mere second.

“Christopher,” you said covering your smile as he only laughed kissing the side of your head. “chocolate or blueberry,” he said simply in response pulling your face back to his own smiling face.

“Chocolate,” you said back with your own smile. But as you tried to get off to help with the ingredients he shook his head keeping you there. “Nope not today,” he said rubbing circles on your hips with his thumb. “Today my love gets to sit pretty as I make them breakfast,” Your face forming to protest but he silent you with a kiss that linger only slightly before pecking again.

“If you're really itching to help you sit their and tell me hot I am when I mix the batter,” he said again. You only laughed at him, “your egos so big,” you said looking lovingly into his eyes. He only scoffed, “How could I not be when I get to wake up to the love of my life every morning,” he said inches away from your lips.

You only pushed him away before he could kiss you again, he looked slightly offended at you pushing him away but smiled as you blew him a kiss, “You dork just go make the pancakes and maybe I’ll cheer you on hot stuff,” you said jokingly his smiling winding at your words as he caught your kiss bringing it to his heart.

Oh yeah, you guys were definitely stuck with each other. But you wouldn't have it any other way.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After reading notes: hahahaha I hope I didn't fill your delusions too much. But when looking for my own stores to read I can't help but feel a lack of soft Chan moments. He always written as the leader and this tough steam engine that could if you read the feugo like stories. And while I don't disagree with him being this hot dom, I can't help but to crave more of his softer sides that we get to see pop out every once in awhile when he decides to make his presence known in content. I treasure those moments because it reminds me that he still gets to feed into that inner child every so often. I just hope he feels as loved as he does with Y/N in this. Sorry brb gonna go write in my diary about being obsessed with some random Idol that doesn't know I exist. Ha very much feeling spain again. RIP :(: Hope you enjoyed, write again soon.

[miwiheroes]

Dropping Byler Evidence Every (Other) Day Until Season 5

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁ Day 25: Mike's Mind was on Will . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁

So after a full day of us bylers getting bombarded with asks from this one crashing-out mileven anon DAHSDGKASD I am going to drop this piece of evidence from the final post in the Airport Scene saga :)))

So during the beginning of Season 4 we see that Mike is not being himself which is super strange, and we are angry that he's ignoring Will during the airport scene and the Rink o Mania scene. We think that while Mike and El are 'cute' (eh, they're literally lying to each other but whatever) Will is sad. Then, we find out that Mike was thinking about Will. The whole time.

Mike had noticed that Will was mad at him the whole day, Mike was disappointed that Will had been ignoring him in Rink o Mania and being upset, sure, but there are other times that he is sad at Will ignoring him.

The first is when Mike finds out that the painting must not be for him because Will acts so stand-offish about it. The most notable time however.... is the scene with Mike, El and Will walking through the airport while El is talking about her plans. Mike seems so absent from the conversation, looking around and thinking about something else. He glances at Will a total of:

6 Times

Watch this clip to see it all:

Before I argue about this with people in the asks (ugh) I wanna say that these glances are not accidents. Can you imagine being Finn in this scene and accidentally TURNING HIS HEAD in the same place a total of 6 times??? This is not an easy accident to make. He is extremely good at micro-facial expressions, and this is one of those instances.

This scene is supposed to be subtle and quick, so it makes sense why you would not pick up on it straight away. You are only supposed to pick up on it when you know the information later (that Mike picked up on everything Will did that day).

First off we need to establish that Mike is already feeling nervous about meeting Will because he knows from El's letter that Will could be making a painting for a girl. He hasn't been able to reach Will for months, and it gets confirmed later that Mike was acting so standoffish because he was afraid to lose Will. We see Mike's nerves in the way he asks about the painting -- "what's that?"

Mike is now even more nervous because he gets those worries confirmed when Will doesn't elaborate on the painting even when Mike lets him.

So now that we have established that: I will be talking about every instance he looks at Will during the video above and what it all means -

1. "Wha-- really?"

Will glances at Mike at the same time that he glances. Mike then realises that Will is also glancing at him and they quickly AVERT THEIR GAZES at the same time. This action of 'oop almost got found out' makes Mike also get interrupted in the middle of his word. The way he says "really" as well is high-pitched and nervous after what just happened.

2. "Yeah no I trust you"

Honestly these are so hard to take screenshots of, because you really need to watch it to get the full effect so make sure to just rewatch the part in the video above pls <3

Again, not sure why Mike actually glances at Will in this moment other than just to check on his reaction, showing that he's being so careful with what he's saying and doing around him.

3. "Rink o Mania..."

Another super subtle one, but again it still furthers the argument that Mike was caring about Will's reactions to everything that El is saying more than anything. Maybe he just wants him to get in on the conversation or he's worried that Will's being so quiet -- his mind is still on acting normal though.

4. "Okay, are your friends gonna meet us there?"

This one is the one that inspired me to make this post in the first place. It is perfect.

First of all, El was never insinuating that her friends were going to be there. Mike had never been told by El in a previous letter that they were going to meet up with some friends. SO WHY DOES HE EVEN MENTION FRIENDS??? Obviously, he knows that she has made friends but in the letters, he's heard that Will maybe has as well.

RIGHT AS HE SAYS FRIENDS -- he looks at Will. This is no accidental head turn. This is the directors and writers trying to show you that while Mike may seem to be asking about El here (because he's asking about her friends), he's actually got his mind on Will's friends. The reason he asks is because he wants to confirm or deny the worry that he has about it.

This is literally rehashed later when Mike gets angry at Will ignoring him. He does all of thESE THINGS BECAUSE HE WAS SCARED OF LOSING HIM <3 which he says in the bedroom.

5. After "Friends? What friends?"

This one makes sense because Will's just spoken, although it is a little ambiguous whether Mike is looking at him in this frame above. Watch the video if u really wanna know ig. He's probably just looking for what this means as it's the first thing Will says the whole time.

6. After "Angela?"

It's odd how Mike clearly gets a little weirded out by what Will says here but it's pretty much clear that he has no clue that El has any bad blood with Angela. This is clear from later on, when he completely denies that El has been lying to him, and ignores that El gets taken away by Angela and everyone.

There must be another reason for his strange reaction that clearly catches him off guard. He asked the previous question about friends because he wants to put his worry to rest. BUT He now just found out that Will does have friends (or so he thinks, ofc), which is specifically a girl. El talks about a girl in relation to Will in her letter.

Again, I'm rehashing this point: It gets confirmed that Mike thought he had lost Will. So it totally makes sense why he would be caught off guard here.

THEN EL SAYS:

"I want this day... to be about me and you!"

Perfection. This is supposed to be ironic. Because clearly, Mike is not all thinking about her. He has been glancing at Will the whole scene and El saying this is the best little kicker to end it. Mike barely notices something off with El, he notices everything that Will's doing, nervous about his reactions.

Perfect ending to that scene lmao

[boofeine]

Just saw the Mingyu jealous drabble can you please do one for scoups too?

WARNINGS: mdni, cute but not really (type of thing is just cute on fiction ig), suggestive,,, unrevised work !!!

Seungcheol has his back to you, but you can still see the way he shakes his head. You stare at his broad shoulders as he cuts some onions on the other side of the kitchen island.

"Seungcheol! Just stop for a moment and talk to me" you say, trying again. He's been sulking and giving dry replies for the whole day.

"I'm occupied" he says, and you groan, cursing under your breath for the thousandth time.

You are pretty sure his behavior is from one of your friends he's so sure is in love with you. All you did was greet him and do a small talk, and the man turned your back to you right now thinks your friend is about to drop on his knees and ask your hand in marriage. It's always a hard time when Seungcheol is jealous and you hope someday he overthinks less. He truly turns a fool

"Okay, if you don't look at me and talk, I'm taking my stuff and eating at home. I won't stay in a place I'm ignored" you say. You're not proud for playing like this, but sometimes Cheol just doesn't give you any other chance.

"WHY!?" he turns around with a loud tug of the knife on the dashboard, and when he looks at you he has a big pout, and you have to stop yourself from smiling, scrunching your nose in the process, he looks cute "I'm cooking for you" he adds, brows screaming frustration.

"Tell me what's bothering you" you demand.

"You know what it is, I don't get why are you pressing me to say it" He replies.

"I don't know if you don't tell me" You reason.

He buffs out air, half annoyed, half irritated, this man has a big ego when it comes to admit anything. "I don't like him and you know that" He finally shoots.

"I do know" you simply respond. "But you can't just get like this every time he's the same place we are" you conclude.

"I won't if he stays a few meters away" he says, all serious and you can't help but laugh. He looks at you even more annoyed "You think it's funny?"

"I'm sorry" you say, recovering, your face red from a loud laugh. "We know each other, Seungcheol... We won't just act like we don't. That's quite impolite, actually" you say.

The silence takes the room as he throws himself on the chair beside yours, leaning his head to the side as he breathes out quietly "I know..." he stays staring at somewhere far as he adds "but we can still run away before he sees us"

"Seungcheol!" you scold, but finding it funny again.

He has a sad look, like a kid who just got rejected a candy. You reach for his hand that is resting on his lap and entrelace your fingers together as he looks at you. "I'm sorry" He says, pouting, taking his face closer, resting his cheeks on your chest while looking up at you.

You smile, taking a piece of strain hair from his face before caressing his hair. "You are?" you tease, and he closes his eyes, brushing his head until he's safe on the nap of your neck, humming as an answer as you giggle again.

"I forgive you if the dinner tastes great" you joke. He kisses the line where your neck and shoulders connects and looks up again.

"You know I'm competitive" He grins, making his way back to the kitchen and to work.

"Do I? Prove me once again, and maybe you get a reward for being good" you shoot a look.

"I'll be good" he says, taking his back to you again after sending you a wink.

[pumpkinpenguin]

okay so i was talking to my sister abt this but i'm kind of heated over it now and must share it with the 10 of u that i keep in my echo chamber

i love evil 2012 donnie aus. he's such a creechur and i think he should be able to commit crimes. as a treat.

however.

i HATE evil donnie aus where he's emotionless and/or turns on his brothers.

donnie is emotionally driven and he doesn't hide what he's feeling. excitement, anger, sadness; if he's feeling it you'll know he's feeling it. a lot of his mistakes/the trouble he gets into is because he's having an emotional outburst of some kind or he's thinking with his heart over his head. he's also incredibly anxious and high strung. if something goes wrong it could ruin his whole day. if donnie were to be evil and not hold back anymore, he'd be the most unhinged villain ever with emotions that switch faster than a spirit box surfing through radio channels, and they'd be intense as well. this could be said for rise donnie as well, to be honest, and there's a conversation to be had there about autistic characters who are awkward and standoffish getting turned into emotionless and stoic villains, but that's not what i'm here to talk about atm.

when it comes to why he would snap, i think it would probably have to do with feeling rejected by humanity. donnie didn't ask to be the way that he is, a mutant turtle, but he's punished for it anyway. it's probably hard for him to rationalize. a big part of his character is his insecurity about being a mutant, which is also part of the reason i think he tries so hard to get april's affections. i DO NOT condone his behavior towards april, but it does kind of prove my point here. april rejecting him, to him, confirms that he'll never be accepted by humans. again, not april's fault at all and obviously she doesn't care that donnie is a mutant, she just doesn't like him that way. but like i said, donnie is emotionally driven and it would be very easy to spiral into that line of thinking. some people say that his brothers not appreciating him or asking too much of him would make him snap, hence why they have evil donnie turn against his bros. but i don't think thag would make him evil? to donnie, his brothers are all he has. they annoy him and pick on him and get a little too entitled to his tech skills, but i doubt he'd ever be motivated to hurt them. and if, IF, by some small chance he'd turn on his bros, leo is going first LMAO

raph teases donnie a lot and says mean things sometimes, but at the end of the day, i feel like he's still closer to raph than leo. not only that, but leo is one of the main contributors to donnie's stress. there's a problem? donnie, fix it. make some invention for the team. work harder. don't you know we're all counting on you? you know how much this means to splinter. don't even get me started on the metalhead situation. leo is on screen more often than not telling donnie what he can and can't do. not to mention he can be kind of a hypocrite sometimes. he judges donnie for his obsession with april, but he's just as obsessed with karai, more often than not putting his brothers in danger for her time and time again. i hate leorai with a passion but i cannot deny that it gets brought up in the show frequently. even if you ignore the romantic implications, i would still argue that leo is a hypocrite in this situation. also, through subtext, we can kind of infer that donnie and raph are closer than donnie and leo. i also feel like raph gets got first in these aus because there's an inherent bias against his character within the fandom, but i have a video essay in the works for that.

but again, if anyone were to be the victim of villain donnie's wrath, it'd be humanity. ESPECIALLY after the don vizioso thing (which is ANOTHER thing leo is hypocritical about??? "meh meh meh donnie killing ppl is bad ur stooping to their level meh meh meh" *literally TWO OR THREE EPISODES PRIOR decapitates shredder and carves his skull from his helmet* ?????!?!?!??!!?) he'd grow frustrated with how he can't do normal things. he's punished for something he has no control over. he feels alienated. why not give them the monster people think he is?

obviously ppl can write what they want, but so can i lmao. i usually don't care if something is OOC (it's funny a lot of times tbh), especially in something like a villain au, but when it comes to the turtle bros hurting each other?? that's the one thing i CANNOT stand 💀 of course i'm not telling ppl to stop writing it, but these are just my thoughts! lol i tend to avoid those fics/aus like the plague bc of what i'm personally comfortable with but!!!! i can see how they're fun to explore

i'll probably reblog later with an evil donnie WIP i haven't touched in three months when i have my laptop on me 👍

[oonajaeadira]

For the Love of Fic Ezra

I started trying to catch up in my reading at the end of last year thinking I could tackle one character at a time. Let me tell you, I'm not even half the way through my Ezra reading, but here's what I wanna rec thus far!

A Forgotten Scene by @fromthedeskoftheraven It's a sweet, domestic snippet of fluffy bliss and I want to live in it forever.

We all agree Ezra just *loves* the sound of your voice, right? by @haylzcyon I am all for Ezra just giving in to his innate hornyness. I am all for grinding all out in the open where anyone can see. I am all for knowing about being watched. I am all for loss of control and making a mess and am I sweating? I think I'm sweating over this.

Ezra Goes to Church by @beefrobeefcal Listen. Ezra's hung like a whale and he doesn't care who knows it. Props to great-grammy who knows what's what.

A Light at the End of the Tunnel by @artemiseamoon I'm always so afraid to read whump stories, afraid that they'll end in sadness and misfortune for the character. I'm really glad that isn't the case here. It's hard to watch Ezra struggle with PTSD; I always want the best for him. But I'm so so glad that at the end of it all that means he gets what he wants and most definitely what he needs.

The False Queen by @blueeyesatnight This is a fun AU where Ezra grows up as a con artist...and he's real good at it too, although he may have never chosen the lifestyle if it wasn't for his partner in crime. Love is rough when you know you should be focusing on the con....

Fairy Gold by @julesonrecord Okay yes I know I'm late to the party on this but dang! All the screaming gifs. All. And yes, it's Ezra being a smooth talking Gold Rush prospector and seductive AF, but it's the ending what got me. The realization of what's in the box and what it means? Gorgeous. Knocked me out cold.

A Kiss in the Dark by @something-tofightfor There's something very visceral and sweet about this birfday kiss scenario with Ezra. I love that Rachael has him telling the reader how much he loves them not by saying it outright, but rather heaping heartfelt gratitude on the day that they came into the world. It's so very intimate and quiet, and the perfect start to a birfday.

by @insomniamamma

Threefold Here's an Ezra that lives up to the man we first meet in the movie--a world that J is an expert in. He's done a lot of people dirty and this reader character is one of them. But things have changed and there's a chance for riches--both literal and figurative. And the risk is so so so worth it.

Needles and Pins Tattoo artist Ezra helps to cover some literal and emotional scars...and maybe offer more time together than is needed for the inking. I would absolutely fall head over ass for tattoo artist Ezra. Especially if he was this gentle and accommodating, if he and I clicked over a design, if I needed my life to start again... I really need to book an appointment...guh.

by @morallyinept

Hydrate Jett writes some poetic stylings and I'm here for it. Especially when she likens Ezra's bits and pieces to his morals--heavy and loose. I kinda lost my mind. I mean, on top of the whole thing about watching Ezra skinny dipping in a waterfall pool. This is as much a work of art as that boy is.

Wipspiration: Sleazy Psychic Ezra Based on one of her etherial moodboards, Jett presents a seedy scene of tension and tarot and horniness that I'm still recovering from.

[things-arent-what-they-seem66]

If you want angst, maybe in the middle of having sex Lucifer moans Lilith's name. Making Adam think Lucifer never loved him and is only using him for sex. Making all the pain from Eden and Earth come up again, making Adam close off from everyone.

Lucifer had no idea it was an issue, Adam didn't yell at him or anything, so it should have been fine.

And shit gets dark with Adam before Lucifer finds put what's going on and talks to him.

He's the sin of Pride, he doesn't notice when someone else is hurting, especially I'd it's because of something he did.

Boom. Angst.

Feel free to go dark with this. My heart craves it 😉

I'm going to make this my own because Lu can NOT be that stupid to know it wasn't a problem lol

-

Lucifer doesn't even know why he said it, it just kind of slipped out and the look in Adams eyes was a cross between fiery anger and deep sorrow.

Adam: Get off me. Now.

Lucifer cringed but did what he was told, Adam rolled over and started getting dressed.

Lucifer: Adam-

Adam: Oh, now you know my name.

Adams heart felt so heavy, how the fuck could Lucifer have said her name during sex!? Sadness and anger swirled in his chest he needed to go.

Lucifer: Adam wait!

Adam: You have a hand, finish yourself and think of her since she's already on your mind.

He got up, his clothes haphazardly on his body. His voice conveyed more hurt than anger. Did Lucifer even fucking love him anymore? Or at all for that matter?

Lucifer: Adam, I don't-!

The door slammed leaving Lucifer alone, he sighed he really fucked up this time.

Adam went to his old room and slammed his door and locked it. He threw himself on the bed and cried his eyes out.

There was a soft knock on his door.

Adam: Go away!

Angel: It's me!

Adam: Oh...... Come in.....

Angel came in and sat down on his bed: What's the matter? You're slamming doors like you get paid to do it.

Adam told him what happened as he cried, Angel held him and just let him get his feelings out.

Angel: The fuck is wrong with him?

Adam: I don't know...... He.... What if he doesn't love me?

Angel: ..... I think he does love you, he's just really fucking stupid.

They stayed up the rest of the night and drank a little bit until Adam fell asleep.

He avoided Lucifer for a while, he knew they would have to talk about it but he didn't want to because he didn't know what the fuck would happen.

Would they break up? Did it even bother Lucifer like it bothered him? Each passing day he wanted to die a little more.

Lucifer came into the kitchen where Angel was eating some jello: Have you seen Adam?

Angel: Oh, so you do know his name.

Lucifer sighed: He fucking told you?

Angel: I'm his best bitch, of course he did. How the fuck could you do that to him? You should thank your short ass he didn't break up with you.

Lucifer: ..... He's that upset?

Angel: Lucifer, if Husk moaned someone's name other than mine during sex I'd cut his cock off, feed it to him, and leave him in the dust. Especially if it's a hot ex! What's the matter with you?

Lucifer: It was an accident! I don't even know why I said it okay? Where is he?

Angel: ..... His room. I hope you have Chapstick because you're gonna be kissing his ass for a while.

Lucifer walked off and summoned a bouquet of sunflowers. He teleported into Adams room, it was mostly dark in the room with Adam on the bed.

Lucifer: Addie?

Adam flinched he hadn't heard his voice in a while: Get out.

Lucifer: No, we need to talk about this.

Adam turned over and glared: And you thought I'd want sunflowers? Why don't you give them to your true love.

Lucifer sighed and placed them on the desk: I didn't mean it Adam, it was an accident.

Adam teared up: Do you still love her?

Lucifer: No! I love you! I always I have I told you this.

Adam: You have no idea what this has done to me Lucifer. I've tried so fucking hard to be who you want me to be but you're still thinking of her! And during sex of all the times.

Lucifer: I'M SORRY!

Adam: .......

Lucifer sighed: I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said it.

Adam: No you shouldn't have, do you have any idea how bad that hurt my fucking feelings? How bad I wanted to die? How the fuck would you like it if I moaned Michael's name?

Okay, he sees his point.

Lucifer: I didn't know it was that bad....

Adam: I love you so much and that fucking hurt me to my God damn core. Especially after everything.

Lucifer: It won't happen again I fucking promise.

Adam: You better forget her fucking name.

Lucifer: Who's name?

Adam gave a tiny smile: Cheeky.

Lucifer: Can I hug you?

Adam: ..... Sure.

They hugged each other, Lucifer wiped his tears away.

It was a start.

[blackcatxmagic]

"Terpsichore...Kira..." Brook repeated, trying to figure out how Kira could be a nickname for that. Maybe it was an alias or something; this movie was sounding wilder and wilder the more they talked about it. Deciding not to worry about that now (it seemed like he'd be finding out soon anyway if River had anything to say about it), Brook refocused on his new friend, laughing at how forward he was. It was actually nice to see someone so sure of themselves (or at least pretending to be), and the attention was definitely flattering. "You like to flirt, don't you?" Brook asked, smirking at River. "It's okay, it's not a bad thing. Is this your way of asking if I want to watch the movie with you?" The answer would be yes, though Brook felt like River would find some way to persuade him even if he tried to say no.

As he continued listening to the other, Brook looked at him sternly, pretending to be perturbed. "Hey, I'm already past 40 you know," he said gruffly, but then Brook started to laugh; he knew River hadn't meant anything by what he had said. "40 was actually my benchmark for when I'd have my life straightened out, and, well...I'm about to be 42, so I've missed the mark a little." Or possibly a lot - Brook's life was pretty far off from what he thought it would be at this point. "Let's just say we're both still young enough to find out bliss," Brook decided. "I guess everyone is unless they're dead." He just hoped they wouldn't always be searching for it. Grinning at River, Brook replied coyly, "It's an okay outcome, sure."

"It's really nice of you to help your aunt," Brook said as they continued along. "I hope she appreciates it." He hated the thought of someone taking advantage of a kind soul like River. It made him sad to hear the other talk about being lonely, and the truth was that Brook could empathize. "I've been spending most of my nights alone too," he replied, realizing that that was a sort of loaded comment to make, some unspoken suggestion just below the words, but really Brook didn't mean them in any particular way. "It's been hard for me to really find my place," Brook went on somberly, not realizing how much this bothered him until now. "I don't really think I'd found my place back in Salem either, but I'd been so busy all the time that it hadn't really bothered me. Here though...I think about it a lot more." Suddenly feeling a little melancholy, Brook sighed, apologizing, "I'm sorry. I'm really bringing the mood down."

River nodded "She is, shes actually the muse Terpsichore, but simply goes by Kira..." They rambled and then stopped themselves again, getting too excited. "Well, I'm always game for movie nights..." They mused, even if they knew that they were unlikely to pay attention in the company of such a hot guy- though they for once kept their lips zipped at that admission. "I can of course, I'm extremely flexible in what I can show off..." They purred, unable to help themselves. The witch sighed "But it's only 9 years away from 40 with literally nothing to show, it's crazy" The blonde whined at the thought, though they then shrugged it off- such was their nature. "There's nothing stopping you from finding the right one, it should never be based on age, what matters is that you continue to enjoy yourself, at least indulge in the pleasure of others from time to time, hm?" They mused, a small smirk on their lips as they spoke. "I'd like to think that's a very excellent outcome..." They mused, their tone still flirtatious, unable to help themselves with it. "Hm, perhaps..." They chuckled, giving a playful grin at them "It's mostly about reading people in their expressions, trick words, making them express their desires to you subconsciously and then you pick up on them" They explained. "Oh my aunt is a real tough gal, I'm mostly here to just help with groceries, fixing up her home...You know, just an extra set of hands. Plus, free room and board for me to save up for the big leagues" They joked. "Well, I'm not sure. It's been lonely I must admit, I'm used to sharing a bed with people either nightly, or for short bursts....I've had no actual action in this sleepy little town" The snickered, finding it easy to be honest with Brooke. "But I can admire the quaint, pretty nature of the town?. You should totally go and meet your family!" They then chided playfully. "I'm glad you have your place here though"

[monstermoviedean]

if you have a good vibe/kind thought to spare and could send it my way. i'd really appreciate it.

[deoidesign]

.

[zoennes]

30 NOVEMBER, 2019 • ZATERDAG, 09:41

[fantasystrangers]

it was a bit of a sad thought, indeed - so anton put it in the back of his mind to ponder over later. he knew his mind wouldn’t be able to stop ruminating on it for a while... but unlike back when he had been in school, now he was more forgiving to himself. or at least he liked to think that way. he’d dwell a bit on it, his anxiety would be temporarily soothed. and that would be the end of it. until the next time. ❛that’s nice to hear. and thanks.❜

he gave a light laugh at himself. ❛when i got my first guitar, it was all i could think and talk about for weeks. i wrote my parents a few songs and i’d play and sing for friends... i sometimes joke the guitar was my first great love. still going on.❜

anton then nodded. ❛it can be hard to let go of beliefs you’ve had for years. or at least for me, it was. it’s difficult to stop reacting to certain situations in a specific way unless someone points it out to you that that might not be the best way to handle those situations.❜ he crossed his arms in front of his chest, hugging his arms close to himself, shuddering. did that bring back memories. he’d been told to man up not once and twice when all he had wanted had been to find a common ground with his friends - and each time, it had stung.

he couldn’t say with complete confidence that he had stopped being indecisive for good. but he had a far better idea of who he was and what he wanted now. that had to mean he was walking the right way.

❛yeah. some people have different pen names, too, for different genres of books. not the same like with music, there you brainstorm names that sound like you and try to pin one down, and that becomes a part of your image. but i’ve been told our music is like fire, full of passion and catchy. or at the very least heating people up when they dance to it,❜ anton laughed again. ❛i can say the same about myself. a lot of the music i like sounds like what i make, but i also like electro swing and some older pop songs.❜

ah, nothing could compare to how light he felt. he had needed that laugh. even if it had only been temporary.

❛piano, guitar, drums, they’re very unique in terms of how they’re played. and wind instruments are something else entirely. i could never get that, myself.❜ anton glanced at his hands. ❛the guitar hurt in the beginning, and if i forget to practice first, so does singing for too long. but yes, exactly, you’re right. it’s extremely satisfying.❜

hmm. i’ve been wanting a little pick-me-up for a while now, i was thinking coffee... but y’know what, cola sounds good for now, anton thought. ❛yes, please. thank you.❜

❛once you start school and work, it’s all you get.❜ anton grimaced - though he looked rather thoughtful instead of sad or annoyed. ❛a couple hours a day is more than enough, though. unless of course you turn your hobby into your job.❜ now his grimace looked regretful. ❛not that that’s easy, of course. but it’s possible, if your heart’s in there. and if you accept the fact that shit will suck in the beginning.❜

he had learned it well through experience - sometimes (not always, but sometimes), a bit of faith in yourself in the dark could guide like a dim light.

❛yeah. i suppose that might be why i think this way. like everything we’re unfamiliar with, death is scary. but no one likes to be afraid, i know i don’t. so i try to have thoughts that help. whether they do help or not, whether they’re good or not... that’s a different question entirely,❜ anton winced.

❛thank you. back in the day our first few songs were... a bit more rebellious. hence the name. we have a bunch of songs online if you don’t feel like committing to a concert yet. hope you hear something you enjoy.❜ he chuckled.

it was a couple of minutes until anton stopped laughing. what a precious moment. it’s been a while since i last laughed like this. ❛i still very much admire people who can play the piano. i know, like, three songs at most, all very easy. the guitar ended up being more fulfilling to play.❜ he took a note to scribble his phone on a napkin and give to russell later.

when russell’s acquaintance waved hello, anton waved back, returning the smile. ❛hi. nice to meet you.❜ he took a few seconds to decide what to order, his face becoming thoughtful. ❛...what do people order most often when they come here? i’ll have that for now.❜ oh man. ordering at a new place where he hadn’t been previously always felt a bit... well, scary wasn’t exactly it - but definitely a bit of a challenge. and, previously, so had been meeting new people and making friends.

it seemed that was about to change for the better with russell around...