#but still it makes me sad and it makes me have a hard time talking to ppl abt oni

[heartlesscorpse]

Life w/ Mr Crawling!

A QUICK WARNING BEFORE YOU READ: This is following after the Blissful Love Life ending, if you don’t want spoilers I suggest scrolling! — Anyways moving on from that, I FINALLY got the fucking motivation to put something out after how many months, (yay!) Starting off with my new horror game fixation :)))) Finally got my brain juices going, and I thank Homicipher for this. This is probably going to be me posting abt it for a while. BUT it gave me the motivation to write stuff at least. If you also noticed I changed the formatting a little with my hcs and I think I like it better this way w/o the bulleted list, so Imma def keep this.

⭑.ᐟ — Ever since you’ve escaped the other world with Mr. Crawling, you had some small difficulties in getting back in the swing of things. You no longer had to worry about your safety, check over the shoulders for any monsters, you had your normal life back now.

⭑.ᐟ — And this time you had Mr Crawling to share it with! :D

⭑.ᐟ — When you first brought Mr Crawling home with you, man was absolutely ecstatic and he immediately went exploring around the house while you fixed him some food to eat.

⭑.ᐟ — Mr Crawling really liked your place, it felt cozy and warm, it had you too of course, and it was so much more welcoming and nicer in appearance compared to his world. Plus there was a lot of new stuff he hasn’t seen before.

⭑.ᐟ — It was a nice change not having the house to yourself anymore, Mr Crawling made the place a little more lively with his presence, following you around the house like a lost puppy, occasionally asking a few questions.

⭑.ᐟ — You showed him many things, movies, books, and lots of other things. He even had his first shower too!

⭑.ᐟ — You even tried teaching him basic words in your language such as “hello”, “goodbye”, “thank you”, or “please”. While Mr Crawling was having a hard time getting a gist of them, he still tried his best. <3

⭑.ᐟ — With your old life back it also meant you had to pick up your job/college again too.

⭑.ᐟ — Mr Crawling was never fond when you left the house for this long, so he mostly sat around at the front door waiting for your return.

⭑.ᐟ — Then upon your arrival it’s extra cuddles tonight to make up for loss time. He’s sad that you left him alone for this long :((

⭑.ᐟ — On the bright side however he likes going on grocery runs with you! Since nobody else could see him, it wouldn’t bring any unwanted attention. Of course with Mr Crawling’s babbling as he followed you into the aisles, you brought headphones/airpods with you so people didn’t think you were insane for talking to yourself.

⭑.ᐟ — Mr Crawling in general is very happy you let him tag along with you leaving his world, he couldn’t be any happier getting to stay by your side. And his love for you grew as well! :)

⭑.ᐟ — The first time he tried saying something in your language was “I love you” to show his gratitude. Though it sounded a bit butchered for a first attempt, the sentiment still meant a lot to you and it was a step towards somewhere to say the least.

[littlespoonevan]

your hand in my pocket to keep us both warm

post 8x08 because i'm SAD in a way that can only be eased with buddie hurt/comfort 💔 title from abstract (psychopomp) by hozier

-

Buck is the one to drive him to the airport because who else would it be?

It feels a lot like deja vu as he approaches the glass doors of Departures but his step only falters for a moment before Eddie’s hand is catching his sleeve at the elbow and leading him through them. It’s further than Abby ever let him get.

Eddie lets him go as far the security line and he almost looks regretful when he turns to face Buck.

Buck would like to think he’s handled this well so far. He’s been supportive, helped Eddie choose his new home, listened to his fears about his parents, reassured him about Christopher, promised to oversee the shipping of the rest of Eddie’s stuff next week. He’s done everything right.

It hasn’t made any of this feel less wrong.

They look at each other now, awkward in a way they never are, until Eddie drops his bag and pulls him into a hug without saying anything.

Maybe because there’s nothing to say. Buck’s heart has been lodged in his throat since he parked the car; he’s not even sure he could say anything if he wanted to.

Eddie’s arms around him are a familiar weight though so Buck allows himself to sink into them. To tuck his chin into the crook of Eddie’s shoulder and to fist his hands in the back of his jacket like if he holds on tight enough he might be able to convince Eddie to stay.

When Eddie does pull back he makes no attempt to leave the circle of Buck’s arms. Instead one of his hands goes to that same spot at the juncture of Buck’s neck – always the same spot – and when his thumb makes contact with the divot in Buck’s throat he seeks out Buck’s gaze.

“Hey,” he murmurs. “Don’t look at me like that.”

“Like what?” Buck croaks, the tell-tale burn behind his eyes becoming more pronounced by the second.

“Like I’m Abby,” Eddie sighs. “Or Ali. Or Tommy. I’m not leaving you, Buck.”

Buck tries to laugh but it comes out too hysterical and Eddie’s hand tightens on his neck.

“I’m leaving,” he allows. “But I’m not leaving you.”

“I don’t know what I’m gonna do without you,” Buck says, the words wobbling in the middle. His hands are still twisted in Eddie’s jacket.

“And you think I do?” Eddie asks with a half-laugh. “Who am I gonna talk to when my folks are driving me crazy? Who am I gonna talk to when I do anything? Besides, you think Chris will accept you not visiting at least once a month?”

Truthfully, Buck has no idea what Chris wants right now but he clings to Eddie’s words anyway.

“Everyone at work is gonna find me insufferable. It was bad enough that last time you weren’t there.”

Eddie laughs again, thumb brushing Buck’s neck seemingly absentmindedly. “No they won’t. And I’ll be on Facetime so much it’ll be like I never left.”

Buck ducks his head but nods anyway, gathering up the courage to say what he wants to say next. “I know you have to go,” he starts, steeling himself as he makes himself meet Eddie’s gaze. “But please don’t go forever.”

Eddie’s expression blanks, his mouth parting over nothing. Buck can only stare back, hoping that just this once it might be different. That he won’t get a, ‘Take care of yourself, Buck,’ and a hand to the cheek before the person in front of him disappears forever.

Eddie doesn’t touch his cheek. Instead he presses their foreheads together hard enough to hurt, hard enough to make Buck’s breath catch and rush out of him on a shaky exhale.

“I won’t. I promise,” Eddie breathes and his hand moves from Buck’s neck to the back of Buck’s head and Buck can’t help wondering for a moment what would happen if he closed the distance between them. If Eddie would kiss him back.

It’s not a thought he’s ever entertained before but he’s thinking it now and it feels…like it makes sense. Like an inevitability.

And what a time to have a realisation like that.

Eddie leans back then and Buck forces himself to unclench his hands, attempting to smooth out the back of Eddie’s jacket with trembling hands.

“You should go,” he says because Eddie won’t.

Eddie nods faintly in agreement and it looks like it takes every ounce of effort for him to take a step back. Buck picks up his bag for him, offers it to him, and tries for a weak smile so Eddie will know it’s okay. That he can go and Buck won’t cause a scene.

“I’ll call you as soon as I get to my parents place.”

Buck nods. “Give Chris a hug for me.”

“I will.”

Eddie starts looking towards the security line again and Buck blurts out, “Tell him I love him.”

Eddie looks back to him, a devastating smile of understanding on his face. “He knows already. But I will.”

Buck nods again and then there’s nothing left to say. Eddie turns to go and Buck does the same because he can’t watch until he’s out of sight. It hurts too much already and he can barely hold his tears back as it is.

He doesn’t need to watch himself get left behind again.

~

He’s just unlocking his car when his phone rings. He doesn’t check who it is as he climbs in, just shoves the phone between his ear and his shoulder as he reaches for his seatbelt.

“Keep me company while I wait for my flight?”

He straightens so quickly the phone almost falls into his lap but he catches it just in time. And he tries to laugh but he thinks it might come out more like a sob. “Keep me company on the drive home?”

“Always,” Eddie says like they’re driving home from work after a long shift.

Buck switches his phone to speaker mode and looks down at the keys in his hand, at the keys to the loft, Maddie’s place and Eddie’s house respectively, considering his options before turning on the ignition.

“So there’s the guy at the gate-“ Eddie starts and Buck lets the sound of his voice wash over him. Allows himself just one singular moment where he closes his eyes and holds his hand to his chest before he pulls himself together and drives out of his space.

Eddie is offering him a play by play of the guy at the gate who’s insisting his luggage is not chirping and Buck gets his breath back enough to make a quip about how that made it through the security scanner.

When he reaches the freeway it takes hardly any thought at all for him to take the exit that’ll get him to the Diaz house fastest.

He’s going home after all.

~

[lumitoiile]

xiao : [crapbag.]

☆ — fluff; he takes care of you while you're sick. gn! reader (no pronouns.)

"achoo!" 

you sniffle, nose red as you stare up at your ceiling in annoyance. ugh. you've been bedridden all morning, sneezing and coughing up a fit. you can't even remember how you got sick in the first place... it's all a blur. your head feels light and your thoughts have started to grow delirious. 

"this sucks," you groan, reaching over for a tissue on the nightstand and nearly falling off your bed in the process. why'd you have to get sick today, of all days? you'd been planning to visit xiao this afternoon, but...that's obviously out of the question now, given the circumstances. you barely even had enough energy to walk to the bathroom this morning. 

you sigh, leaning back onto your pillow after loudly blowing your nose. after trying your best to make yourself a little more comfortable, you gently hover your hands over your eyelids, keeping them shut. mmn...cold hands. that feels nice. a yawn escapes your mouth, satisfied tears brimming at the corners of your eyes. "i wonder what xiao's up to right now," you whisper. 

well, it’s not like the two of you are particularly close or anything—you hardly even qualify as friends, and knowing him, no progress was going to be made there any time soon. ‘human interaction is quite troublesome,’ so he says. but something about him feels…lonely, in your eyes. or maybe it’s sad? you can’t tell. it’s hard to get a good read on that guy, mister ‘i don’t feel emotion like you mortals do.’ 

“it’s you.”

you jolt at the sudden voice, sitting upright and frantically scanning the room for its source. and low and behold, there he is, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed. uh oh. he looks irritated.

”xiao…?” you blink a few times, rubbing your eyes to try and convince yourself he’s actually real, standing here before you. up until he spoke, you hadn’t even heard or noticed him. “wh—where the hell did you come from?”

he lets out a tired sigh, gold eyes narrowing. “you called out my name, did you not?” he says it like it should be obvious. “but you don’t seem to be in any danger…why have you summoned me?”

”what are you—“ oh. that’s right, you remember him saying something about that…whoopsie! you give him a sheepish smile. “s-sorry,” you mutter, voice raspy and laced in sick. “it was an accident. nothing's wrong, j-just feeling a little under the weather is all. you should leave before i get you sick too…”

he looks like he wants to roll his eyes. “you shouldn't worry over something so foolish. we adepti do not get sick," he scoffs. 

you nearly facepalm. ah, right. he said pretty much the same thing about sleeping a little while ago. regardless, you stumble out of bed, struggling to steady yourself as you plant your feet and lean onto the nightstand. "i still don't want to give you any of my icky germs. you should...you should go."

you're tempted to start pushing him toward the door, but that would defeat the purpose of trying to keep your germs away. he notices this and stares at you for a moment before letting out another sigh, speaking in a low voice. "you're in no condition to be left here alone."

"w-what are you talking about? i'm completely fine," you lie, holding back a wicked cough and chuckling awkwardly. "really, you don't to stay here. its...not even that bad! see?"

his gaze on you is intense and his eyebrows furrow. "your complexion is scaring me. please sit down."

"i'm telling you, i'm fine—" you try to take another step toward him, as if to prove that you're capable of doing so, but the archons don't seem to be on your side today because your knee gives out and you fall over again.

oh shit.

xiao's at your side in an instant, catching you and wrapping an arm around your waist, holding your own over his neck as he keeps you steady. "i told you," he scowls, eyes narrowed. "you need to be more careful." 

you start hastily start sputtering out apologies, but he pays you no mind as he effortlessly lifts you back onto your bed, pulling his touch away quickly as if he might hurt you somehow. "just—stay here. don't move," he mutters. "i'll...look after you."

your heart nearly stops and you start to feel your face getting warm, though this time it isn't from your sickness. did you hear him correctly? "y-you don't have to do that! i'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself...really, i'm sure you have other things to do."

he doesn't say anything. instead, he takes note of your red face and leans a little closer, very carefully brushing his fingers against your forehead. this, of course, only makes your cheeks heat up even more. he frowns, oblivious to your embarrassment as he pulls away. "you seem to have a fever...have you taken any medication?"

you nod, face flushed. "um...yeah, i took some a little while ago. i really am fine, you don't need to—"

but he's already dashed off to who knows where, the sound of rummaging through cabinets and water running easily heard from down the hall. he returns a moment later with a cold wet rag, wrung out for your use. he stares at you awkwardly for a moment before handing it to you. "...here."

you give him a soft smile and take it from him, gratefully draping the rag over your forehead with a content sigh. "whew. that feels...a lot better, actually...thank you. the cold feels nice."

he nods, leaning back against the wall with his arms crossed. "do you...need anything else? can i perhaps make you something?"

you bite back the urge to snort. "what, like cook? you know how to cook?" 

his expression changes, and if you didn't know any better, you'd say he was nearly pouting. "i'm not incompetent. of course i can cook. though i'll admit, it isn't particularly my favorite thing in the world. its not like i have any need for food in the first place."

you let out a soft chuckle. that's right...he doesn't need to eat. strange. he seemed awfully happy back when you made him that almond tofu...well, as happy as he can get, at least. he's so pissy all the time.

you nod at his question. "i was gonna make myself some soup earlier, but..." you shrug. "i've been stuck in bed all day and never actually got around to it."

"soup..." he gives you a single nod as he walks away back into your kitchen. oh, jeez. here we go...you call out a thank you as he leaves, really hoping he wasn't lying when he said he could cook. you can hear the opening of cabinets as he rummages through your stuff, looking for everything he needs.

a moment later, you call out to him again. "hey, xiao?" 

he stops what he's doing and the noises pause, perking up at the sound of his name. "yes?"

you smile softly. "please don't burn my house down."

[julieverne]

The first time Jane's not drunk enough to pass it off as a mistake. It's early into their friendship; Maura still asks for Jane's sweats instead of digging them out of a drawer. She's wearing them, her hair still wet from the shower. It's been a rough day, a gross day, one that requires multiple showers. Maura looks sad so Jane hugs her the way she'd hug anyone who'd had stomach liquid land in their hair.

Maura holds her close. Maura is awkward to hug; she stiffens but doesn't pull away. She waits to make sure Jane's not making some sort of mistake, and then she pushes forward too hard, her breath all raggedy like she's trying not to cry, her hands holding Jane too hard, as though Jane will push her away if she lets go too soon, like she's scared it's not real - like she's scared Jane's not real.

And that night, the first time, Maura's wet hair against Jane's chin, her hands finally learning how to relax on Jane's body so she doesn't leave her bruised, Jane feels Maura's pelvis press against her. It's not on purpose, but Jane's breath catches and she pushes back and Maura's breath comes all thin and thready, the warmth of her against Jane's thigh promising worlds Jane can't even imagine and then they're dry humping up against Jane's ancient refrigerator that came with her apartment and Jane comes with Maura with an irritated hum from the overworked appliance, gasping for breath.

Jane has only had two beers. She glances at them wistfully, looking for an excuse, then looks down to Maura's flushed, embarassed face.

Maura's her best friend. Maura's the best friend she's ever had.

"It's okay," Jane says when she can talk, and she feels Maura relax against her. They're still hugging. "It's been a long day. We're probably just frustrated."

They haven't kissed. That would make it something it's not.

+++

The next time Jane is too drunk. Maura finds her between her pain meds and a bottle of whiskey. Jane growls at her when she takes both bottles. Maura sits and pulls Jane against her, holding her. There is a bucket discreetly placed on the floor next to the couch.

"You're poisoning yourself."

"I put you in danger," Jane finally confesses. It's been weighing on her so long.

"You saved my life. Mine and Frankie's too."

"I should have known he was dirty. He should have never gotten near you." Jane's voice is low and raspy and she feels Maura's stomach clench as she speaks. She pulls away to look down at Maura. "I failed you."

Maura's crying. Jane touches her cheek and licks at the moisture on her fingers. She's dehydrated, and she lets Maura hold water to her mouth, lets Maura wipe her lips clear.

"You have never failed me."

Jane wants to kiss her, but they're not like that. She pushes herself on top of Maura and grinds down against her, gasping when Maura's pelvis rises to meet her, watching Maura's face beneath her. She brushes hair and tears away from Maura's face, with her fingers, with her lips.

Maura comes first, gloriously hard against Jane, arching up into her, a stifled little moan that sounds like Jane's name. It's enough to push Jane over the precipice she's been hovering over too long, and she joins Maura in pleasure, noting she's pushed Maura's dress up, her scarred palms brushing over Maura's bare thighs.

Jane collapses atop Maura, too tired and content to move.

"You have never failed me," Maura says again, and Jane feels those soft, strong fingers brushing through her messy hair, feels them on her back as Maura holds her tight enough that Jane wonders if Maura will ever let her go.

+++

The next time they're not drunk. They're at Maura's, and Jane doesn't know why she's not more freaked out about this. It's not technically sex, but it's close enough that she should be questioning herself, trying to figure out if she likes women.

Instead her hand is sliding up the hem of Maura's dress in her spare bedroom; they've avoided bedrooms so far, but here they are. Maura's hands are in Jane's shirt and she whimpers as Jane's fingers make contact with her satin underpants.

They're still not kissing because that would make it something else. Something like commitment, like Jane's heart doesn't break every time Maura has a date. This is new; Jane's never touched a woman like this before, but Maura's hips tilt and Jane can't withhold anything Maura needs. She can figure out the landmarks from here and she uses less pressure than she would for herself because she figures Maura's precious and delicate and whatever and she's right because she feels the pulse as it happens, Maura's hands holding her so tight that it's an effort to breathe, and then Maura's hand is on her, and she's never been so wet; she's almost embarrassed until Maura's eyes meet hers in awe and it's all Jane can do to keep from kissing her for being so sweet and understanding and so, so good at making Jane come.

Maura's hand cups her until she's sure Jane is done. "Sweet dreams," Maura says, and extracts herself. Jane collapses on the bed and wonders if she wants more or less from whatever they're doing.

+++

The next time they're in a shower. Jane fell into a river and Maura went in after her. They got hosed down at the precinct, but there is pond weed and an ickiness that remains. They shower together because they both need a shower and Jane's place is small. Maura touches the bullet wound on Jane's stomach and then gives Jane a knowing look as she slides her fingers lower, where the wet heat of Jane has been waiting for her touch. Jane's legs shake and she has to lean against the shower wall for balance, pulling Maura close and returning the favour. She's so wet - not from the shower, from touching Jane, and that's when Jane starts to wonder what they're doing. She's happy enough to be having mind-blowing sex with the most attractive person she's ever met, but she's not ready to talk about it. Not even with Maura.

She watches with satisfaction as Maura thrusts down against her fingers, grunts with pleasure as Maura bites down on her shoulder to muffle the noise she makes when she comes.

+++

And then Dean is in town. It's so, so awkward. Ma is pushing her. Maura is pushing her. Everyone wants her to be straight. Jane badly wants to be straight and Dean is there.

Jane doesn't even come. Doesn't even come close. She fakes it so he'll stop touching her so wrong. He falls asleep and Jane thinks of Maura's soft, gentle fingers, her fierce determination. The way she looks so pretty when Jane's inside her. Jane cries the way she should have when she put a bullet in herself to buy the woman she loved enough time to save her.

Jane cries because Maura doesn't love her, and Jane's just realised she does.

+++

Maura's mad at her. She throws Dean in her face. They bicker, but when Jane finally gets home, Maura is there.

"Your parents are in the hospital," Jane snipes, but there's no real ire left in her.

"I'm not... I'm not.... not mad. And I don't forgive you. I might never."

"Then why are you here?"

Jane knows; she can almost smell her from here. The air is thick and filled with everything left unsaid.

Maura crosses the room and shuts the door behind Jane, then slams her against it, sliding the deadbolt.

"How many?"

"What?"

"How many orgasms did he give you, Jane? What did he give you that I couldn't?"

"You told me... you chose the dress..."

"And you came when I called." Maura's anger leaves her and she slumps.

"I'll always come for you," Jane admits.

"You've never let me down," Maura agrees.

"You can shoot my dad if you want. It'll make us even."

Maura laughs bitterly and Jane wants to fix this. She takes Maura's chin in her palm and lifts Maura's face to hers. She lets her fingers stroke Maura's soft cheek as she looks into those deeply hurt hazel eyes, glittering gold with tears. She lowers her head so slowly that Maura has plenty of time to move away.

She doesn't. She meets Maura in the middle. They kiss, finally, after three years of not getting around to it. After three years of the most tender, loving sex Jane has ever had.

Maura's lips are so soft that Jane finds herself moaning into Maura's mouth. Maura grasps her like she used to; scared Jane isn't real, scared Jane doesn't mean it. Her tongue should be illegal because Jane's knees buckle when it brushes her own.

Then Maura's sharp teeth are dugging into her bottom lip and Maura pulls away, her eyes flashing angrily.

"On your knees," Maura says, and her lips are swollen from Jane kissing them and Jane drops like a rock at the order, her hands already pushing the dress up out of the way, already pulling down what remains between them. She devours Maura utterly; she's drenched and running down Jane's chin, over her lips and tongue. It's better than anything she did with Dean; Jane hasn't been touched and she is throbbing and soaked.

Maura's fingers curl in her hair and she thrusts shallowly against Jane's open mouth. Jane licks her clean, waiting patiently. Maura just retrieves her underwear and leaves without another word. Jane makes herself come quickly once the door closes, tears down her cheeks and Maura on her lips. She slumps and leans against the closed door, holding herself since nobody else will.

+++

Maura forgives Jane. She kind of has to; Jane saved her life and her leg. And Maura saved them both with the coordinates. They forgive each other but what lies between them remains fractured. They make sure they're not alone. They seek out other company.

And then Jane gets a new mattress and Maura is the only person in her life helping her.

"Can I come?" Maura asks, when Jane talks about her dream wedding. Jane rolls onto her side and looks at her. It's okay, being alone with her now. It doesn't hurt like it used to. She knows now she broke them up, knows now there's nothing she can say that will fix things.

"You always do," Jane says without thinking. Maura put her drink down and looks Jane over with a hunger Jane recognises.

"I left you hanging. I owe you one."

"It's okay," Jane says, even though it's not, even though she'd cried on the floor for well over an hour, hoping to hear Maura's footsteps outside, hoping she'd changed her mind. "I always let you down."

"You have never," Maura says, rolling onto her side to face Jane, "and I mean never let me down."

"Never even run around and hurt you."

Maura doesn't recognise the lyrics. Jane has never been able to RickRoll her because Maura never knows when she's being RickRolled.

"I was mad about Dean. But we weren't exclusive, and I was seeing people too. We never talked about it, did we?"

Jane's hands are shaking. She nods slowly, looking over at Maura. Her voice is low and sexy, and Jane loves when she speaks foreign languages. It's so hot. Maura is so hot, but she's at her hottest when she's underneath Jane.

Jane rolls on top of her so easily that Maura's already thrusting up at her. But this time Jane is leaning down and kissing her. Jane is holding her tenderly. Jane is pulling off her tank top and sliding Maura's buttons undone, she is pressing her bare skin against Maura like she's one of those animals that breathe through their skin and Maura is oxygen to her. Jane checks in with her as her hand crawls down Maura's strong abdomen.

"You know I love you?" Jane says, then shakes her head. "I mean, I do. I love you. I've missed you. I'm really, really into you."

"Not quite," Maura says, and tilts herself up against Jane's questing fingers until they slide home, Maura as always wet enough to take as much of Jane as she can. Jane's palm rubs the little circles that drive Maura wild and her fingertips brush slowly against the wet warmth of her, against the softness that makes Maura sob as she comes in Jane's arms, Jane kissing her gently, brushing her tears away holding her as she moves against Jane until she stills and pulls Jane closer. "I owe you two."

"You owe me a new mattress; we've ruined this one."

Maura chuckles, and Jane knows everything is going to be okay.

[animalistic00]

Hey!!! Here’s another breakdown of my thoughts I told you it was coming!!!! I just needed time to process because OMG🤯

Cleo’s post of SpongeBobs brain on fire and the mini hims panicking is a MOOD. She didn’t have to call out reader like that though, lmao even though it’s true and definitely how everyone reading it myself included was feeling. The reader then commenting; “help me” only for Cleo to post a SpongeBob and Patrick reaction pic IS EVERYTHING. Pope’s comment makes it even ten times better and more hilarious. AND THE AUDACITY OF JJ TO COMMENT 😂 like you did this brother.

NOW THE TEXTS🤯😭 I needed a whole ass warning for these. Died and came back to life, like you were so wrong (BUT SO RIGHT) for this. I had to take another pause while writing this because BABES this is so phenomenally OUTSTANDING words can’t describe it but I’m going to try my absolute best.

JJ immediately coming to reader and being like “we should wait.” STAWP 😭✋I can’t that’s so unbelievably sweet and thoughtful. Like you can tell, YOU WRITE/SHOW him caring for the reader so freaking well. Him also being like, “this isn’t the best time” you can tell he’s not only so deeply in love with her, but he cares about her so much. Like don’t get me wrong; I definitely get the vibe he absolutely loves her and has loved her romantically for ages; but I also get and feel that he loves and cares for her platonically so hard too. Like yes he wants to date reader, but that’s his best friend first and foremost and it just shows; YOU SHOW IT SO AMAZINGLY.

Him reassuring her😭 he’s so perfect STOP I want him. I want them to end up together. (BUT THEN YOU COME OUT SWINGING WITH RAFE AND IT AINT FAIR)

Okay; this is also another thing and I know I’m gonna repeat myself (I do that a lot) but you actually write him so well. Him being like ; “good or bad; wait no don’t answer that.” Is SOOOOOO- I have so many thoughts. JJ is such a reckless individual but he’s also extremely selfless and loyal to those he cares for and you portray that perfectly. Like poor baby definitely wants to know what reader is thinking and feeling, but he understands that this isn’t a good time and she needs time. SO being the selfless individual he is he’s like we’ll wait until YOUR ready. LIKE PLEASE; this is amazing and perfect. Indescribable. Him being like; “you need to think and I need to prepare myself.” Is so sweet and sad; like I know poor baby is preparing himself for the worst and rejection and how he’ll be able to keep reader in his life. Because let’s be honest he won’t want to lose her😭

THE PLANS BE HAD TO ASK HER OUT 😭☠️ four years ago, then the summer, and then after the season. Mans was trying and that’s actually really cute too and it’s totally in character for him to have plans but then BE IMPULSIVE AND IGNORE THEM

The line; “I always have plans when it comes to you.” I NEED TO SAY NOTHING ELSE.

Him still offering to have the conversation after everything has calmed down and the reader is ready is just MWAH. No words needed, it explains itself. Before he tells her that until then, they’re best friends and he cares about her being happy. That, that’s all he cares about. He’s so perfect LIKE I CANT. CAN I HAVE HIM? PLEASE??!?

Also the ma’am✋😍

Then them immediately talking about pranking Pope is HILARIOUS and actually such a great detail and addition. It shows how close they are as best friends and even though with all the drama and feelings in the mix they will be BEST FRIENDS first.

P4L

The instagram POST🥰 Besties fr. Sarah calling them trouble makers or finders is so real; CUZ THEY BOTH. Also I love Cleo so much. Her comment is nothing short of amazing, and I stand our wife. AND THEN POOR POPE😭😂 I love and LIVE for their and this dynamic.

The gingerbread houses post from Cleo, are amazing and I can’t. Her house, as it should be💅, WAS STUNNING!!! I have no idea what JJ was doing but GOOD LORD, he um…tried? Bless his heart, let’s keep him out on the football field. NOW CLEO COMPLIMENTING RAFE?!? 👀 his house does look good, but I know wifey still mad on readers behalf so I was SURPRISED when I saw that. Not only that, Rafe hanging out with everyone. Like reader is one powerful woman 🗣️💅 she’s keeping EVERYONE in line. (Rafe’s house was good fr though) I don’t even have words for John B’s house. LIKE HOW DID JJ DO BETTER?!? Also Rafe legit admitting that he tried so hard so he’d be invited back is so cute and sad.

Readers Christmas post is adorable. AND POOR TOPPER, like please this man is struggling for his life. Someone please update this mans, he’s so lost and I love it. Rafe needs to talk to him for real. Like please. (At the same time I love him being so lost and it should definitely continue on for a bit hehe 😈) Cleo was definitely right about crazy crowd choice because whew, again talk about readers power.

Now I’m not gonna lie, I’m a bit confused on the letter one. Is Rafe posting a picture of a letter the reader wrote (that was my first guess) or is he posting a pic of one he wrote to her? AGAIN TOPPER in the comments confused😂 Rafe telling him to “shut up,” was wrong of him.

THE PIC OF RAFE AND JJ. The POWER reader holds should be feared by all. Also the photo is actually so funny, (and I wanna know the story in real life) but even better I wanna know the story behind the picture in this AU. Like what was JJ doing with all those glasses MUCH LESS ON HIS FACE? How did reader get these two to agree to go out to dinner with her, and much less them staying civil for HER 🥰🤭😩 and this time Pope in the comments being confused is hilarious.

Now the texts between reader and Rafe…I can’t 😭 gonna have to break it down just like the JJ ones.

Rafe starting off the text with thanking reader and saying how he’s missed her is so sad. Like he obviously is still head over heels for her and is so glad for ANY crumb he gets.

POLYAMOROUS?!?? Please. Please. I beg because I cannot choose for the life of me and I don’t want there to be a choice. But her being like; “JJ had fun.” Is such a big deal even if it was her, it’s the fact that it was also her and them. Like you know they secretly enjoyed each others company. That or I’d like to at least see reader remain close friends with whoever doesn’t “win” and actually for Rafe and JJ to become close. Just for everyone to eventually become close and besties 😭 (FEED MY DELULU PLEASE?🙏)

Rafe saying we should give JJ a chance FLABBERGASTED ME. Still leaves me flabbergasted when I read it. Was not expecting that from him, but it honestly shows how much he’s grown and matured from before. And how serious he is about being our friend first and foremost. As he says. Which leads me to the; “because I’m your friend. I told you I would be the best friend you've ever had. Your friend would want you to be happy. And I think you need to give him a chance.” Like I can’t with him. That’s- it’s indescribable. That’s so selfless and truly shows how much he cares for the reader. I’d honestly immediately fold if someone told me this 😂☠️ poor reader cuz I could never. Why do they both have to be so sickly sweet and selfless?

I canttttttttttt; YOUR PAYING FOR MY THERAPY. Rafe being like as your ex, I know what I want, what you mean to mean, who my true love is, and what not. Is UGHHHHH and then him being like you deserve to figure out what you want and who you love and I’m here for whatever you choose. ☠️ I both love and hate that. I hate making choices so I’m like “NOOO, AHHHHH” but it is so sweet.

I apologize (LIES) I actually don’t; no but this is so long. I just had so many thoughts and feelings that I wanted to get out and share with you especially since you seemed to enjoy my last post. In case you’re confused I’m posting/rebloging this on my reblog account. I’m animalistic0, anywho I love your work so much this story is the best. Absolutely OBSESSED. Thank you for sharing, and creating this artwork.

Kildare University- Sophomore Year: 9

Synopsis: A Social Media AU in which you find yourself at Kildare University along with your friends. Starting over at a new school shouldn't be difficult. Well, except for the fact that your ex-boyfriend is the quarterback, and you are the drum major. Add in a little bit of drama, a lot of friendship, an ex who can't seem to let you go, and a best friend who has been in love with you since you were kids and well? Welcome to KU!

Pairings: Past!Rafe x Reader, JJ x Reader, Rafe x Reader

Masterlist

Taglist:

@akobx @onelonelybitch @the-universe-and-karma @beeskisses @frankoceanluvr11 @ivy-34 @rafecameronsloverrrrr @k-k0129 @asyouwish-fromcabin3 @xoxo-ada @aariahnaa @strawberryforks @urbrunettebombshell @whatisoutside @spenceatiny18 @animalistic0

[fyeahnix]

Ok lemme talk about this season of Arcane, the ending, and most importantly, Sevika. If you don't want spoilers, back away now but I'm leaving this open because people have a tendency to not open or read my posts with read more cuts after them 🙃

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First off, I will say that I like Arcane a lot. Like a LOT. I've watched the first season 4 times (rarely do I watch anything more than once) and I think it's a masterclass in adult animation. Fortiche really put everything into this series.

That being said...

While I did like season 2, I don't think it was enough. Animation wise it was phenomenal, writing wise...I think it could have been better. As I've learned through doing research for my Sevika fics, the League of Legends universe, lore, and worldbuilding is fucking MASSIVE and even if I don't give two shits about that community or game, I have to give it props in that department because they really put a ton of work into it to make it feel alive. Maps? Short stories? Timelines? Race and culture? Apex could never...

That ofc is why it's hard for me to say that the writing is amazing. We had far too many characters to keep track of in season 2 with far too many plot threads to finish in two seasons. I think ideally, this series should have been 3 seasons instead of 2. Acts 1 and 2 could have been its own season, and Act 3 could have been its own season. If not that, then at least one more episode per act would have helped a lot. Things just progressed and wrapped up far too quickly for my liking.

Also not a huge fan of how quickly video game related media tends to dip into the whole timeline and multidimensional business. It def works well for some games but here? Idk I guess it was bound to happen given some League character's abilities, but the stakes just elevated far too quickly for me. Not a fan of Viktor becoming one of the main antagonists at all, and DEFINITELY not a fan of the conflict between Piltover and Zaun being sidelined for an "enemy of my enemy is my friend" thing with the war against the Noxians. It makes sense, I just wish "war with the Noxians" came at a later date so we could focus on the twin cities.

And speaking of the generational conflict between Piltover and Zaun, let's talk about Sevika.

As I said before, Sevika is the most qualified person to become the leader of Zaun and I stand by that even after the ending. But first....what about her found family? Isha sacrificed herself and Sevika gets no on-screen reaction? The last two episodes just progressed SOOOO FAST that we and some of the characters didn't even have time to breathe. Did Sevika even get time to mourn for Isha? What about Jinx, who is now gone? Sevika barely even encountered Vander! I would have loved to see some of the aftermath there because I think season 1 did a better job of allowing characters time to process their emotions and grief, even if the pacing was still kinda fast. It was acceptable!

I am sad af she didn't get more lines, but remember, Sevika has always been a side character in this series. An important side character but a side character no less. The promo shot of her now feels like...what was the point? (more on that in a sec) but considering how many characters and plot points and plot threads they had to account for, I am not surprised she didn't get more screen time. Hell, Vi and Caitlyn didn't even get a chance to have a full conversation on eveything that happened and Caitlyn didn't even apologize on screen. The fuck bro.

Now about Sevika's ending....I am very happy she isn't dead. Like dawg, you have no fucking idea how happy I am about it. SHE FUCKING LIVED. But....

I am seeing some people saying they're not happy or they're confused or that her ending doesn't make sense. And I just disagree with those points. Let me explain why.

I posted something earlier today about it, but again, as people don't open my read mores, I'll repost it here:

We absolutely do not know how much time passed between the war and the final few shots of the season. So Sevika joins the council. I DO NOT THINK she would do this unless there's a good reason for it, and that's why I'm guessing she will be Zaun's ambassador on the council. That war probably significantly changed the relationship between Piltover and Zaun and while old wounds will take more than a fucking war to heal, her being on the council now means she directly has a say in Zaun's future. Remember, the council was literally about to hand Zaun their independence before Jinx blew it up, and Mel was in support of it. As I said before, Sevika is respected down there at a bare minimum with all the factions. She would know better than anyone how to lead Zaun at this point. So yeah I get the hesitation, but it makes sense in my eyes. And it makes it likely that Sevika could show up again in a future League animation, if not become a whole champion.

I like her ending. I am sorry but it just makes fucking sense. Sevika is extremely loyal to her home and her people of Zaun. We've seen that time and time again. She was willing to go to war and die for those people not just against Piltover but also the Noxians, so why on fucking earth would anyone believe she's making a bad choice here?

She is now in the best possible position anyone in Zaun could be to advocate for their independence and support their growth. She knows the chem barons and brought them to peace, she gained the respect of the Firelights with Scar leading them in Ekko's absence, and she even got the Jinxers together with them before the Noxian attack on Zaun. Sevika has experience, she has the ear of the people, she knows what it's like down there, she is made to lead and help advocate for them!!!!

Believe me I get that whole "changing things from the inside" angle doesn't work more often than not, but this doesn't feel like "changing from the inside," it feels like "let me advocate for my people's actual independence so we have a starting point to become self sufficient." Again, Piltover was literally about to let Zaun gain their independence, and while none of the previous council members that agreed to it are there, Mel is/was. Who's to say she didn't help negotiate for Sevika to sit on the council and start (or complete!) the Zaun independence process before she left for Noxus? I can't imagine Sevika would just show up to the table and sit there if she didn't have a damn good reason. Like come on now. This woman has seen first-hand what Piltover is capable of and does not like them nor looks like she wants to be there. But she's seen what Piltover has done to her people first-hand, and after learning from both Vander and Silco, this is how she feels she can best protect her people.

She IS the new leader of Zaun and their ambassador at the council.

And lastly, we've been told that some characters will be returning in future League animations. Mel seems like an absolute given, but what about Sevika? Zaun's story is only just beginning, and yeah they said they'd like to branch out to other regions, that doesn't mean a cameo or maybe another medium can't be used to continue that story (a book, perhaps??).

Anyway yeah those are my thoughts...

[underatreedrinkingtea]

Something Golden, Something Glistening

So I decided to write my first ever fic!! If you want to read on Ao3 there is a link below.

Spite x Rook

Spite wakes, Lucanis finally succumbs to slumber, he needs the rest after their trip to Arlathan Forest. And Spite has a mission of his own, he needs to speak to her. To Rook, her eyes always seem to look his way. Spite needs to know why, how. Nobody other than Lucanis can see him. He is..curious.

He walks to find her, finally he catches a hint of her scent and follows. Smells like vanilla, apricot and tea leaves. He ends up in the Lighthouse’s music room, her back is turned to him sitting by the harpsichord. Candlelight all around fills the space, but Rook is somehow surrounded by complete darkness. There is stillness in the room. She is humming a tune unfamiliar to him, but her emotions are sad. ‘Taste like agony, torment and shame!’, Spite exclaims to himself. Another mystery that needs to be solved for another time. 

“Spite, come to talk?” Rook says gently, not surprised he is here.

Purple eyes narrows. “You know. It is us. How!?” he asks impatiently. Rook turns around to observe him, her gaze feels heavy on him yet gentle, a warmth he’s not used to. Everything is usually sharp edges, harsh words spoken between him and Lucanis. Never a balance, always on pins and needles. She is so aware of him. It feels good. After a while Rook says;

“It’s good that Lucanis finally gets some sleep, I understand why he doesn’t want to but… maybe you and I can work together, speak to him?” Her voice is gentle and friendly.

‘She ignores the question! We want to know!’

Spite takes a few steps towards her. “ Agh! No. Answer us!” he grunts abruptly and fixes her with an aggravated look. Lucanis can wait, now it is his turn to be heard. ‘I matter too!’ He thought she was different when the mage and her dwarf companion rescued them from the Ossuary. Was he wrong?

“I apologise, Spite. Of course you matter. I don’t want you to think otherwise. I’m also curious about you two as well. But you are right, one thing at a time.” Her warm, gentle voice settles him a bit. He perks up, ‘Curious about us?!’

“Yes!” she grinned at him. “It’s funny you know, I can feel you all around, it’s the first thing I notice when you’re present. I see you clearer than most, your aura shines so brightly. It is hard to look away”, a soft smile is on her face. Dimples.

Spite walks closer. If he wanted, he could reach out and touch her. But for now it’s enough to be near and feel her warmth, so golden and fierce.

She pats on the seat beside her, inviting him in. “Come sit with me.” Her tone is still light and gentle.  Not tense, not scared at all. Rook wants him here and he does not know how to feel, unsure now. Once he is sitting down the smell of vanilla, apricots and tea hits him more intensely. He gazes at the half empty cup of tea infront of her. Lucanis would disapprove, he is sure of it. His heart calls out for coffee. He turns to glance at her now, golden hair so bright, a soft and kind face looks back at him. Scars that resemble lighting on the side of her face, rosy flushed cheeks. And her eyes, grey, blurry and cloudy. ‘Pretty.’ Some type of injury as well, Spite wonders?

“My eyes they…I have trouble seeing at a longer distance. Many colours are lost on me. A lot of my world is grey now. But spirits and the Fade are overwhelmingly colourful. I have learned to use the Fade to help me see the world in a new way. People now look more like an..aura at a distance. If that makes sense?”, she tells him calmly.

That explains why her companion were extra observant around her when they fought the Venatori vermin. Rook fought well still, the sight was mesmerising and passionate. Then she tasted like thick smoke, lightning and death. When Rook fights she is like a knife, piercing and quick-witted. Now all he feels is hot golden bliss. It was distracting, he only wanted more.

“I will. Watch over you! No one touches you!” Spite states forcefully.

“ Spite-” she protests.

“No! You fight well. And dangerous. I want to. Help!” He doesn't want to offend her, never her. He needs to make her see. ‘Listen’. Giving her a firm look. ‘Let. Me. Help.’ Spite will not look away until Rook understands. They stare at each other, equally stubborn the both of them. Who will crumble first? Not him, he likes when he gets his way, used to it. He wins, dominates. Despite looking at him so intensely, she is still so..relaxed. Her face perks up and gives him a mischievous look. At last she breaks their eye contact and laughs.

“Okay, you win.”

He grins. ‘Hah! I knew. I win!’ Spite is pleased and ready to leave. He got what he wanted. As he stands back up she takes his hand. Warm, so warm and firm. Purple glow meets a grey cloudiness. She gives him her dimples again and his- Lucanis heart flutters. Her scorching look warms him inside and out, it is almost too much to bear. He needs her to drop his hand. It tingles.             

“Will you make a contract with me? Let Lucanis sleep and not do anything stupid while he rests?”

 “No fun!” Spite objects. 

“Hmm..what do you say about hanging out with me again, here? Still holding his hand, but this time she squeezes it softly.

“And do what? Want to. Explore.” He demands.

“We can do that too, if you want. But I want to come with. Is that okay with you?” Rook suggests. Spite thinks it over, it could not be so terrible. He will ask her more questions and she will answer. He is very good at getting his way, this could work in his and Lucanis favour. Get information, Be useful.

He makes an irritated noise and sighs. “Fine! Contact accepted. And I want. To try. Tea!”

Rook only responds with a laugh and he once again sees her dimples.

[monstermoviedean]

if you have a good vibe/kind thought to spare and could send it my way. i'd really appreciate it.

[deoidesign]

.

[thearunadragon]

Okay, so this may be a controversial opinion on Ellesméra, but Eragon’s treatment there says this so loudly.

I don’t think the problem with elves is that they don’t feel the same emotions as others as Eragon speculated. I think the problem is that they feel emotions TOO strongly, and only accept the emotions they LIKE or APPROVE OF by accordance of the view of others, which is why they are so avoidant, and their social structure is built so heavily around constructs of courteousness and respect and not upsetting anybody to a point where it’s literally catastrophic to so much as look at someone the wrong way without thinking.

This kind of structure is HEAVILY problematic, and all is causes is trouble. It creates hyper-sensitivity and only escalates from there. And, though their whole thing is not being judgmental towards others, they become the most judgmental people of all to anyone who is not exactly like them.

It almost promotes a victim mindset while at the same time building unnecessary pride and self-importance and ignoring basic morals and principles for the sake of appearance and manners instead because, basically, so long as you are outwardly “good” it does not matter how you really are. And they choose to ignore every one of the negative aspects or the truths that do not appeal to them because they “couldn’t possibly be like that” and others are “generalizing” something even if it’s actually TRUE.

That is 100% going to blow up in their face one day.

They’re like modern America with social media, honestly. And don’t misunderstand, I am ENTIRELY supportive of being inclusive and being welcoming to everyone! We shouldn’t be judging people! But there’s a point where it’s carried out in the wrong ways and too drastically where it begins to abuse some people for the sake of other people. Maybe just have basic manners and courtesy and be a decent person towards people in general. That’s ALL we have to do!

I see a lot of the present day in Ellesméra and the elves—Vanir and his friends especially. They have so much potential to be the perfect society, but they’ve over-sensitized themselves so badly that they’ve basically ruined an amazing baseline idea. Eragon expresses a similar view when he talk about how it seems like, with all of their rules and courtesies, they’ve only made it easier to offend people. Thoughts?

[silkjade]

i haven’t been here much recently, and i’m sorry i’ve only been negative on the off chance i’ve been online, but let me just say one last piece before the end of this month, so that maybe the next might be better….

[moeblob]

Deacon loves two things: Ymber and digging himself a grave.

Fulj hates one thing: Deacon.

[joshuamj]

also i watch The Wild Robot the other day and oh my god 11/10, absolutely beautiful in every sense of the word, would cry again 👍

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[moonchild-in-blue]

Oh.

[iwaasfairy]

it's always sad to realize but people who never contact you first aren't your friends. i always let people into my heart very easily n it kinda comes around to bite me bc i always consider people friends even tho they aren't very friendly at all to me