#but not gonna get diagnosed sooo

[inlovewithmyhyperfixations]

so idk if this is just me, but do you just get this urge to hang out with people??? Like, hanging out drains my social battery SO QUICKLY, but i NEED to hang out with people SO I DONT HAVE TO DO MY WORK. I’ve been bored AND overwhelmed AT THE SAME TIME. i have so much work, BUT NO. my brain chose to ignore that and scroll on this instead

[zincbot]

i don't even know what's going on in here (my brain)

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

aita for deceiving a psychiatrist with lies to get diagnosed with a psychological disorder so i could get attendance accommodations at school where it was really nazi strict and evil forced attendance and they would fail me for not going to class EVEN THO I DID EVERYTHING TO THE TOPS?????? Sick fucks tbh. May those “educators” burn in torment💖 i wasn’t allowed to have my anxiety/agoraphobia/aversion/truancy/YOUTHFUN absences excused bc of the fasc policies in place as a standard in our christofascist bluemaga joe biden hillary fucked bernie in the ass dry clinton fake woke coopting bullshit society. so because of their nazi policy i had to find a way to get accommodation bc clearly i couldnt be in class every day in a row and needed leniency, not academo nazi policy, i was like. Fuck it let me get my papers for that accommodations letter approval. Bc like i had already been going to the counselors for stress and general social bullshit So since i wasn’t allowed to use that for accommodation i hd to make sooo many months long appointments w this far af psych and i didnt have a car and what an added stress. They were like “we dont got a car to pick you up like a normal fucking doctors place. Take the bus!” Ok die first. Next fucking help me!!! I did the meds they really sucked bc i guess i didnt need it and it was all side effects, no benefits, and i was like FUCKING DIAGNOSE ME!!! after reading the DSM5 and “practicing whats wrong w me” so that they are like . Hm yeah that sounds bad. Then IN THE END IT WAS A FUCKING PERSONALITY INVENTORY THEY USED TO ASSESS MY ILLNESS. IT WAS A BAR GRAPH. It was bullshit service in the goddamn american healthcare system and then bullshit actual healthcare bc it was fucking fake. Dumb psych couldnt even tell i wasn a liar???? DUMBASS BITCH LOSER FAGGOT CUNT SCUM. I remember how they made me wait AND CHARGED ME WHEN I MISSED AN APP BC IT WAS SO FCKN FAR AND ANOTHER BC I TOOK A NAP. CHARGING UR POOR MENTALLY ILL CUSTOMERS??? They can explode forreal💖and so can the dumb school policy bitches who couldnt just let me get my A had to be like ohhh cant accomodate u even tho u hve a 98 u are gonna fail :/ DIE ON FIRE SCREAMING YOU SCUM BITCH!!!! <-me to that professor nazi. May she be tortured. ANNMYWAY im sorry to everyone who’s gone thru academic ableism and abuse by this bullshit system!!!!! my school ended up being transphobic and zionist so i transfered anyway bc i dont want that bullshit on my titles. I’m glad i got my classes accomodated tho! I only wonder if im legally beholden to that diagnosis or if we can just be like fuck that doctor. Hm. Like i lied 😂 ffbsjfbsjfbjsnfjekfnsjs FREE ATTENDANCEE THOOOOOOOOOO it should be like that always for everyone. Kill every nazi teacher forreal. And kill teachers who dont give free B’s. Fuck your grade curve bitch. Fuck your admin. FUCK IT ALL!!!!! And i know its possible bc ive had actually good teachers. Hmmm the nazis WISH they could hide!!!

[cr33p-a-z01d]

Yap the headcannons at me, please. I want to read

omg YAYYYY alright anyways

headcanons under the cut :33

Alex

ok so I feel like he is SOOO EMO like all he's plays in the car is fall out boy and everyone is SICK of it

this man is egotistical its crazy

like thought his script was so good

really good with fixing cameras and shit

literally the way him and jay met was jays camera was broke and alex offered to fix it

I feel like they all have a but of internalized homophobia but him and tim have it the worst imo

brian came out to him and he was like "don't try and flirt with me bro 🤨" and brian was like "I was not planning on it?"

bro is so bisexual its crazy

one of the main reasons he hired tim and brian was cause he thought they were cute

Brian

this one is probably gonna be one of the longest cause I have so many thoughts about him :,)

ocd (< I'm projecting)

because of said ocd this man can't drive

but when he does he drives like a fucking maniac

I feel like he just listens to whatever ppl have on in the car

so whenever you ask him to play music it's like a mix of jimmy eat world, country, and like. pop music

asks ppl out as a joke alllllll the time

cause of the yk. falling out of a window thing, his back is all fucked up

like it healed but it never really healed

he can walk and stuff but sometimes when the pain gets bad he has to use a wheelchair

how does he survive you may be asking? 1. the power of homosexuality. 2. because I said so

I also think he's gay and asexual btw

I have more but I don't want this to he TOO long :,))

Tim

diagnosed with autism at a very young age

this man cannot do eye contact to save his life

this might be a hot take but I don't think he listens to music at all

it's either country music or nothing

mostly nothing

grew up catholic so he has a lot of internalized homophobia

he figures it out tho :)

honestly hated alexs movie

he thought it was cool at first but then they actually started filming and he realized how stupid it was

him and brian talked shit about it all the time

I feel like the song alligator skin boots by mccafferty fits him SO WELL

homeschooled until he was like a freshman

Jay

also autistic

the definition of the meme "stares at you with my autistic eyes"

ok I know it doesn't line up timeline wise but I feel like he would LOVE mccafferty and the front bottoms

like look me dead in my eyeballs and tell me his favorite song isn't bottom by mccafferty 🤨

a FREAK no I will not be elaborating

I don't have any more for Jay very sorry 😔

I dont have many jay thoughts

ok thats it :33 this was actually sm fun

these are just the mh guys but honestly I have a bunch more for the regular creepypastas too sooooo

[thewickerking]

mutual 1: WDYM none of you have heard explosion gun ???? theyre from the 1930s, sure but they literally made the best song ever [long title or series of numbers that have no meaning]

mutual 2: hey guys can you fill out this survey for my class? its about 15 minutes and it would mean a lot!! i love you

mutual 3: ughhhhh can this guy stop flirting with me? i told him to kill himself after he said [horrifically racist sentence] and he hasnt gotten the hint

mutual 4: im liveblogging a game from 12 years ago if you dont want spoilers im tagging my posts about it as #plwm3 liveblog !!

mutual 5: [poll] should i brutally murder this oc before or after he gets divorced

mutual 6: ok I knowwww im learning 6 languages rn but it would be so fun to learn russian.....

mutual 7: what do you mean you freaks dont dip your bananas in orange juice??? This is literally so normal why are you call me the weird one

mutual 8: just finished meeting up with mutual 9 irl it was so fun im gonna miss you now that you're home again </3

mutual 9: mutual 8 locked me in a basement for 4 hours and played clown music. i wish i couldve stayed longer

mutual 10: OMG THE NEW TRAILER FOR BRIMBLUS JUST DROPPED?????? EVERYONEEE LOOOOOOOK

mutual 11: my dad got me a milkshake breakdown cancelled everyone 🎉🎉

mutual 12: this post reminds me of *******

mutual 13: mutual ^ is talking about scorblo btw

mutual 12: HEY???? MUTUAL 13???? CAN YOU KILL YOURSELF????

mutual 14: [describes the most horrific repeated childhood trauma] but idk if im allowed to say i have mental illness cause im not diagnosed

mutual 15: guys do you think im more blue or purple coded :3

mutual 16: in response to all the transformers fandom callout calling me lesbophobic and racist: [ten paragraphs that make it clear they're clearly the only normal person in this scenario]

mutual 17: wait you guys are actually going to pumpkin patches? i thought those were made up ive never seen a pumpkin irl before...

mutual 18: guys can anybody see me. Please. No one's responding am I shadowbanned or do you all hate me [they're shadowbanned]

mutual 19: ugh this one customer keeps brutally murdering our servers at the restaurant i work at i wanna quit sooo bad but i might get promoted soon so idk

mutual 20: [reblogs a web weaving post about judas] UGH i need to fuck him sloppy style and **** ****** ***** **** *** ***

mutual 21: spam reblogs a genshin character

mutual 22: [screenshot of mutual 21s blog with filtered tags of the characters] you're lucky i care about you so much.

mutual 23: i think im losing my grip on reality. omg wait but look at this cute dog i saw walking home the other day

mutual 24: hi everyone! i just got back from a 6 month social media break :) hope everyones been doing well!

[nanathott]

i absolutely love how you get medical question and anons are sooo real bc if you're in the medical field you better shut up about it bc i will treat you as my own personal doctor 😭 my friend has checked absolutely everything on me, mouth chest bruises puss eyes you name it (i am so sorry to medical pookies that know me)

it’s funny bcs i’m not even to that point yet LOL like im learning anatomy rn so when people ask me to diagnose them im like :D IDFK!! IM JUST A GUY!! but it is really funny when i get those asks lol

also that’s so real, i’m gonna bother the fuck out of my friends when i need to use them to practice medical stuffs ^.^

[bunnakit]

last twilight e3 thoughts feelings etc

so in the past ive watched the episodes and digested them and come back and rewatched to put together my thoughts but im kinda crunched for time today and have a mountain of work to do sooo i'm just gonna do this in one sitting and i'm so sorry if it's not as good or as coherent as what i usually deliver aaa. it's also going to be a bit longer than normal probably but i'll try to cut down on stuff that seems unnecessary or maybe just too obvious to comment on.

OH ITS STILL REALLY LONG EVEN WITH EDITING I'M SO SORRY.

oh them being playful with each other is everything to me. oh my god and Mhok learned, he listened to Porjai and he learned to organize and clean and do things with Day as an active participant so he knows where everything is and is taking control of his own life. oh we're only 3 minutes in and i'm emotional, okay.

i do love that we get to see the way Day has isolated himself and that while his family haven't helped there's also a large part of it that is his doing. ive said it before but when you're newly disabled it can be so so easy to isolate yourself. hell, i've been diagnosed for almost 10 years and i still do it from time to time as my condition worsens because it's hard. there are so many questions you have to answer, there's the anxiety of not knowing if people are going to be accommodating to your needs, and sometimes it takes twice or even three times the energy it used to take before because every action is a little harder now. it can be terrifying to put yourself out there again and you will lose friends in the process. there will be people that don't understand, that find you to be an inconvenience, that won't make accommodations for you, and it will hurt every time but saying goodbye to those people is always ultimately for the better - but it doesn't make it hurt less. as much as i'd love the realism of it, i hope we don't have to see Day go through that.

Day's story about his friend is interesting, too. he says he doesn't want to be pitied by his friends but the thing is. they just did that, they accommodated their friend, and from the sound of it they did it without judgement. so why couldn't it be the same for him? it just shows more of his anxiety and his fear.

"i felt like my life was worthless. all i saw in people's eyes was insult."

screaming. crying. throwing up. i don't need to say anything about this but i thought you all should know it made me ill.

"once i'm ready you'll be the first to get my invitation card." Porjai and Mhok's friendship means so so fucking much to me.

here's the thing, my best friend and i dated in high school, we were 16 and fucking stupid and toxic and our home lives were shit and we took it out on each other and we made each other fucking miserable by the end of things. we didn't talk again for over five years. it took time to come back together, to heal and accept our own faults in what went wrong. we stumbled here and there as we came back together but now? almost 10 years later i don't know what i'd do without him. that's my platonic soulmate, that's the one person besides my husband i can share anything with. fuck, he knows more about my life than my husband does because he was there to see me at my worst, at the scariest point in my life where i almost wasn't around anymore to see tomorrow. that kind of friendship is so fucking special, i cannot even properly put it into words, and for Mhok to keep that? to have that with Porjai? i'm so fucking glad he has that. i'm so glad he got to keep his platonic soulmate.

small aside, i love that Mhok consistently announces himself to Day. it's a little action but it's so considerate. he's honestly doing such an incredible job.

Day puts his sunglasses on like armor; like they can shield him from the judging stares or looks of pity he can't see. maybe someday he won't need them, not because his heart has hardened to take the blows, but maybe because he knows Mhok is by his side. because remember - it's the way they look at us.

"i heard you wanted to take time off and focus on badminton" Night i'm going to drown you in your own toilet. this is just furthering my thoughts from episode 2 that Night is ashamed of his brother and his condition, or perhaps that the family is trying to hide his condition for some fucking stupid reason.

the bravery it took Day to come here and admit whats happening to his is huge, but i'm also in love with the admissions admin saying sure, you can have time off, but you're not allowed to quit. you're not allowed to give up on yourself.

"we must live with hope, Day" and that's it. you have to. you just have to. every day is going to be so hard and so much, you'll have good and bad days, but at least in all those days you'll have hope. and maybe someday that hope won't be for new eyes. maybe that hope will turn into acceptance, into determination, into pride at what you've accomplished in spite of it all. in my opinion, hope is an amazing fuel but it's not sustainable, it's just a vehicle to get you to where you need to be.

Mhok asking a blind man for a tour, oh fuck fuck fuckfuckufkcufk-- Mhok essentially saying show me your world exactly as you remember it, let me in. see how things have changed and how they've remained the same and do it with me by your side.

THE WAY MHOK SHIELDS HIM AT THE LIBRARY. DAY DOESN'T NEED TO WEAR HIS SUNGLASSES LIKE ARMOR BECAUSE MHOK IS BY HIS SIDE AS HIS SHIELD. chewing my own arm off brb.

"and you also have me. nothing to be afraid of" because i will always shield you, i will always protect you, i will stand by your side AAAA--

on part 3/4 now, i promise i'll shut the fuck up soon. if you've read this far pls take this as a smooch checkpoint, i'm giving you a little forehead smooch. have you had any water today? taken your meds? relax your shoulders, unclench your jaw.

ok back to it - Mhok continuously having Day make his own selections in these various machines. Day's fate is in his hands, he can do these things himself, but Mhok will be there with him the whole way.

"my eyes don't work well but my legs do just fine." this is such a massive leap from the man that wouldn't even leave his bedroom, from the man that was suffocating in his environment. Day is no longer a dying man, a shambling corpse. he is an active participant in his own life again.

"stay close to me, that's all i need" bitch i'm gonna throw up, you can't just hit me with that after that's all i've been saying this whole time what the fuck.

OH FUCK ME. okay. alright. hang on. so when they enter the shop Mhok describes it to Day, explains where the jeans are, where the shirts are, asks him what to do and what he wants to take a look at. this is a direct antithesis of Night in episode 1 asking where Day was going to wait for him, where he could leave him so he could get his shit done. Day isn't being asked to wait, to just sit idle while life passes him by, he's being asked what he wants to do, where he wants to go, what he wants to see. FUUUUUCK. and knowing Mhok is doing this because Day expressed that he liked dressing nicely? how the fuck am i supposed to just go to my job like a normal person after this episode.

wow the shirt buttoning scene just made me so mentally ill. right now, Mhok is doing his job. he's helping Day get dressed. but someday? someday this could be Mhok dressing Day not because he needs him to help but simply because Mhok likes doing to for Day. there's the sensuality of caring for your partner, of running your hands over the planes of their shoulders, of skimming your fingers down their chest to pluck every button. it's an exploration and a declaration of love. if we get this again in a future scene and it's something like that please remember me fondly because i will perish.

at the bookstore Mhok recognizing Day doesn't want to wait, but Day has become so accustomed to the other people in his life telling him what to do that he falls back into that behavior - but Mhok doesn't let him. he prioritizes Day's needs and desires, even if it's something as little as finding a book, without being asked.

THE LAST PAGE IS MISSING.

(because one can't see his future and the other can't see in the future, but also because they'll make their own ending, they'll face that when they get there, but they'll do it together -- what if i lost my shit completely of it?)

when Mhok leaves Day to get him a drink the camera is focused on Day and the clear warring emotions on his face but if you look in the background Mhok hesitates, he stops and turns a few times to look at day. he's reluctant to leave him and worried. Mhok worries so much but it's always so understated or in the background, covered by the emotions of others he values above himself. (or overlooked because of 'what type of person he is')

while its anxiety inducing i do enjoy this regression of behavior because adapting to a new life is hard. you will regress, you will stumble, you will fall into old habits or sometimes old fears will return. its what you do after that that is important. the one thing i hope doesn't happen is i hope this doesn't cause a rift with Porjai. i think Mhok needs her right now, maybe not forever, but definitely right now.

HE PUT ON THE FUCKING SHIRT. THE FUCKING SHIRT DAY COULD SEE FROM MARS. OH MY GOD. i know this doesn't need to be commented on, i know it's obvious, but FUUUUCK.

Day's mom trying to weaponize Mhok's past and Mhok taking the ammunition from her hands and telling Day himself. the acceptance of the past and the determination to move on and grow from it. Day's refusal to let the past repeat itself with a new caretaker. whoo boy.

and again Day wants to see Mhok, because even bruised and battered Mhok is worth seeing.

if the last episode ends with "sweet dreams/good night" i will be burying myself alive, thanks.

THE PINK SHIRT RUINING HIS BAD BOY IMAGE BECAUSE IT IS BEING RUINED. HE'S MOVING ON, HE'S GROWING, HE'S BECOMING A NEW PERSON. FUCK OFF.

i'm so so sorry this was so long, every episode makes me feel more and more things and makes me analyze shit more and more.

tagging @benkaaoi and @callipigio as requested (if you want to be added to my last twilight meta tag list just let me know!)

[blackjack-15]

the way nat is treated is sooo sad and predictable. she doesn't always (present day) handle things well, but...with an upbringing like this? and good on her for pouring the liquor down the drain and bringing paper towels

"oh you're gonna make sprite?" "yeah, i'm gonna make sprite" that's carmy in a nutshell. push on a wall, it becomes a bridge.

"holding everything in and then letting it out inappropriately" you've reduced the bear to its most basic components!

he made sprite! something from nearly nothing, that's carmy. and no one even thanks him to his face. he didn't have to do it, he was doing 6 other things at once, and he still made sprite for someone who was having a hard time

also richie's ex wife reminds me strongly of mrs. berzatto. just saying.

"why isn't someone listening to me?" "i'm listening" "WHY IS NO ONE LISTENING TO ME" and this is mrs berzatto at a 4/5? we're gonna see her at a 6+ before long

i hate to armchair-diagnose, but there's pretty obviously a personality disorder present here in the Matriarch of the Berzatto clan. histrionic personality disorder is my immediate thought, but could be something else.

"no one's f//kin with you why would you think that?" gee i wonder.

"we ran into the love of your life" "i don't have a love of my life" 1) they're 100% talking about claire 2) carmy baby. you're so right you don't yet.

wow i hate mikey/richie right now. but! this adds a whole new dimension to carmy re: claire! because claire is tied to mikey, to what mikey 'wanted' for carmy, and that makes this whole thing come full circle, doesn't it?

"what did you do. what did you do." maybe christmas in copenhagen would have been a good idea.

carmy's absolute distaste for this whole 'conversation' (the glasses came off? the body is banging? really guys? you're being disgusting) is beautiful. carmy's got many, many vices and makes a lot of mistakes, but this is Not something he puts up with

"i don't understand why you would do this. why are you like this" oh carmy honey.

"i'm not in love with her, that's what i'm saying, where did you guys get that?"

THERE IT IS.

there's the reason for showing how carmy reacts when someone wants something from him, why the awful phone conversation with claire has her making him go from not wanting to give his number to saying "i want you to have my number". we have to see how carmy goes from saying no -- the truth -- to saying yes -- a lie -- after pressure is put on him. because this is where it starts.

claire represents what others want for carmy. normalcy, a chance -- his "only" chance -- to be with someone deemed societally Valuable. to not be an "other", to fit in, to have something "Good" that everyone thinks is good. carmy/claire is nauseating, but it's supposed to be. people spend so much time on screen telling us how Good claire is, when the show itself doesn't back it up. she's a figure of myth, a representation of the expectations others set on carmy and that he bows to, not a character. full stop.

and wow this is legitimately hard to watch. carmy attempts to set boundary, boundary is ignored. rinse, repeat.

they think carmy's in love with her -- this is a man in his, what, late 20s at this point? -- because he used to draw her in high school? the tenuous is getting more tenuous my Gosh.

"carm. this is a good thing." oh and no it really really isn't.

okay nice moment here for richie. does he think carmy is weird? yeah. does he still kinda brag about his sprite-making abilities? yeah

okay, ex wife is the worst. the boy makes you sprite b/c you don't feel good and there's none in the house and you ask why they'd 'punish' a nice girl like claire by hooking carmy up with her?

richie is adorable with his daughter and despite everything going wrong in his life (both his fault and not) is a really good dad ("do you think that she'll like us?" is such a soft question). i am really, really glad he's divorced. i want him to find happiness -- i don't know what that would look like for him just yet, but.

"we just have to not be like our parents" the other distillation of the bear!

richie trying to get a better job for his kid is really sweet. mikey telling the bill murray story in the background? hilarious

we're further breaking down the Mythos of Mikey -- he's introduced as a perfect, tragic figure, and we've spent a season and a half showing his foibles...which are Many.

[brunchbitch]

Crazy how much more acceptable smoking is here than in the U.S. There are ashtrays everywhere, including on our balcony and next to the pool. I haven’t had any weed since we left Seattle last Tuesday (wow almost a week!) but I let myself get a nicotine vape at the corner store which has helped slightly. We were already gonna take a month off drinking and smoking when we got back (though we hadn’t totally decided on edibles) so that will certainly be easier having like two weeks without weed already. I think we’ll allow ourselves to smoke the first couple days after getting home (already can’t wait lol. My tolerance was sooo high) but then stop again until A’s bday at the end of September.

We’ve also been having more discussions around starting a family, but both of us want a couple months of being much healthier re: weed/alcohol under our belt before starting to try. It’s crazy to think about. I do feel conflicted but I am feeling more and more like I’ll regret it if we don’t have kids while we’re still young-ish. I have patients on OB that are diagnosed with “advanced maternal age” at 35 and that’s only a couple years away for me. Idk lots to think about.

[bonesneedednow]

Please read this

Sooo I got married - love that, going to Japan - love that, but what I don’t love is the adult life I have to adjust to.

For the past half a year I’ve been trying to become an adult but with no results. I just don’t want it, I really don’t. For the past 6 months I’ve been unemployed, depressed, panicky and overwhelmed. The wedding was great and it made me happy, I love that I’m going to Japan, but they’re just temporary aspects of life. They happen and then they’re gone.

When I finished school I just felt even more like an empty shell of a human being (I have diagnosed bpd) and that I’m not ready to grow up. So besides that temporary happiness from these two situations - I’m miserable. Before them I at least had something to look forward to but now? Now it’s going to be over. I don’t want to grow up, I want to be young and stupid and immature and skinny.

I think the only thing left is just to lose more weight. It feels like the last accomplishment I need to achieve to be a complete human ready to die and at the same time the only way to keep me sane throughout the journey. It just helps me remain… not an adult. I desperately need to lose weight and I’m gonna get truly serious about it when I come back from Japan in a few weeks.

I really have no one to talk to about any of this, I’ve been bottling it up for the past months and pretending it doesn’t exist and I feel so, so alone. I won’t ask you for dms, but if you could just heart this post it would mean a lot. It would mean that someone understands and heard me. It would feel less alone. Thank you.

[fandomfluffandfuck]

hi S ok you definitely dont have to answer this bc its basically just me venting and its pretty lame haha but im curious if its something you've ever dealt with or if u have advice... basically i have diagnosed ASD and marvel is my special interest and has been since i was a kid and im pretty positive its going to stay my favorite thing for the rest of my life lol. and sometimes i get so sooo sad and kinda lonely thinking about the fact that like .. i know its basically still one of the biggest fandoms out there but like all my favorite fics were posted like 5-10 years ago mostly from authors that arent even in the fandom anymore and theres never gonna be another movie with steve and bucky together that everyone gets excited about and wants to talk about and theres also just so much less of a fun goofy little tight knit community for stucky on tumblr and online like ... idk i just miss so bad when the mcu was at its peak and there was so much content to consume and so many people passionate about it... and i know theres definitely still a huge presence and like im so thankful that youre an author that i love thats still super active and im always glad to visit your page and to see that theres still so many fans out there that care and wanna interact yknow. but tumblrs different now and its been like ten years since peak stucky content and the actors are all doing their own thing now idk it just makes me sad 😩😩 i feel like such a loser saying it i swear i have other interests and an irl life that is very fruitful and lovely hahaha its just makes me a bit frustrated at my autism because i know i wont be able to ever really stop loving these characters even as others move on

Hey, sweets!

I understand what you mean and you're not a loser, not at all. It's fucking great to have an interest in something, anything--what else is life for? You gotta have something to be focused on and interested in that gives you joy, otherwise, what is there? Just blandness. And, yeah, Marvel fandom is still very much active and that's wonderful and great! But, it's also true that it will never be the same as it was in its heyday. Personally, I wasn't around when the stucky fandom was exploding along the release of CA:TWS/the general MCU height, but I certainly see all the old art, edits, cosplay, etc. that's still reblogged and I've read so many of the fics from years prior, so I have a grasp of what was happening. And I can totally see how you'd miss generally, but especially if your fixation has attached deeply to these characters.

I have a sibling on the autism spectrum (who's old enough to have been diagnosed with Aspergers's syndrome before that was phased out but they are, of course, on the spectrum regardless of arbitrary hierarchical labels that I will restrain from ranting about because I fucking hate that shit, don't talk to me about "high functioning" ugh) and they have a few different life-long hyperfixations as well. So, you're not alone, but, it is hard to think of any actual advice per se. I think you're already doing what you need to be doing, y'know? You're here and enjoying what is going on now, connecting to blogs that are active, finding space where you can talk about these characters, you've got other things to do that also capture your attention, and, of course, you know you're sad about what isn't going on anymore. It's okay to be sad. You can't control what you're passionate about in the same way you can't control who you fall in love with. Are these silly little fictional characters not just people we've fallen in love with a little or a lot, no matter if they don't "exist"? I love that for us. Humans are so cute and full of love.

Fandoms and people change and sometimes it fucking sucks when it happens, sometimes it's great. Either way, it's part of the ecosystem of life. Water and nutrients and air and sun--it makes people change, it makes them grow, and you're allowed to be sad about what they used to be, you just have to keep growing, too. Remember what they were and know who they are now.

Hopefully, something in there helped you feel better, even if it was just from telling someone how you feel.

[celestie0]

I’m sure medicine can put you through hell but at least in time your gonna be a good doctor Ellie I wish I could consult you 😭😭 personally I’ve had the most disappointing experiences with doctors of late like just a whole lot of dismissal and condescending attitude one doctor interrupted me and basically told me stop self diagnosing and reminded me that she’s the doctor when all I was trying to do was explain my experiences with my own body like I know I don’t have a fucking degree in the field but I’m still an educated adult trying to discuss what MY body has struggled with for so long and then she proceeded to tell me it’s psychological, anyway after being shut down and unsuccessful one too many times I’ve kinda given up on seeking help, funny thing is I walked out of the consultation room and saw a poster about women’s health that said to not “suffer in silence” like bitch please

Anywho I’m sorry for the rant, as an online entity I perceive you as a lovely person andddd your also very smart, as much of a pain this career choice may be at times I’m positive that you will make a good impact whatever you specialise in, keep up the good work! I sound like a teacher lol

Take care 💗💗💗

aw yeah unfortunately there is sooo much dismissal in healthcare it’s so sad. as someone who’s been on the other side though, it really is shocking the working conditions that healthcare professionals have to deal with/had to deal with to get to where they are, only to continuously still be mistreated…but that doesn’t really give them any excuse to act that way to patients haha. medicine has always been an inherently selfless field and it’s sad to see how many inconsiderate people join the field for prestige, power, or money, or also how many people first joined with hopeful altruistic intentions but then became jaded overtime

in any case! i hope to be a doctor someday that listens with full care and compassion. i have also been a patient that has been dismissed, discarded and distrusted and it’s such a sad feeling. i’m so very sorry you went through all of that! hopefully you have better experiences going forward :( there are definitely wonderful doctors out there that care about their patients so much, even behind the scenes, i have seen it

your words are so sweet thanks bb <3 much love

[borderline-culture-is]

Sooo uh not a culture ask, but I strongly suspect I have bpd (have done for a few months, i match up with nearly all the symptoms and i appear to also have a 'fp' as theyre called (AND IT SUCKS COS SHES A SINGULAR ALTER IN A SYSTEM WHO ONLY FRONTS WHEN THEYRE STRESSED SO WE NEVER GET TO TALK)

Also I have autism. And i dont know the point of this ask tbh Advice? Help with resources? Advice on how to deal with it without having to get diagnosed?

(currently a minor in an emotionally abusive household where my mother also hates everyone with stereotypically 'scary' disorders like bpd, bd, did, etc sooo diagnosis and proffessional help isnt really an option.)

gonna give myself a tag hope it doesnt hafta be emojis

-fairy anon

i'm not sure if therapy is an option for you, but if you're looking to manage it, i think it would be good to start with DBT therapy or DBT skills as it usually works good for pwBPD (not all of course). you don't have to say it's specifically for BPD symptoms, just that you'd like to try that type of therapy for [insert whatever thing or stressor or concern]

just know that you and your struggles are still valid, even if you don't got a professional diagnosis, and it's understandable if you didn't want one either with all of the issues a diagnosis comes with it. i can't find it right now but i will try to come back and reblog with a masterlist of resources.

- oliver

[ghostdoctor]

midoriya analysis because im fucking insane and hes insane

Midoriya analysis because I'm fucking insane and he's insane

Ps i won't be covering the movies bc I like to leave them as their own entities 

pps this contains spoilers

god okay so we all know that Midoriya has SOME kinda issue because... yk.... he was literally bullied and abused by his peers physically, emotionally, and mentally for all of his formative years and that's gonna FUCK SOMEONE UPPPP

but but but Midoriya so so obvi has a thing for escapism!!!! yeah, his quirk thing started before he was diagnosed as quirkless and then abused, but did you see how intense it got after he was abused??? how that was literally all he spent his time doing and how it was the only thing he was known for?? AND THEN. HE MEETS HIS IDOL WHO CRUSHES HIS LAST HOPE. and then said idol proceeds to try and build up an already destroyed boy (it doesn't work) because THEN we see even more escapism in UA because they make it so clear Midoriya spends so much time training and pushing himself to be a better hero because it's the only way he knows how to be useful and escape away from his reality of believing that's he's really not worth all that he's been given. Btw pls dont say that “midoriya is just ideally heroic he doesn't have a hero complex” this is an analysis for my opinion ty 

Midoriya can be viewed as a narcissist for many reasons as well but that is because he's a product of his environment. Honestly there's ways to show midoriya has a hero complex, is a narcissist, has self esteem issues, has a superiority complex, and more. Im slapping midoriya and going “This bad boy can fit sooo many issues it him” 

Another btw before you continue reading: I have really bad adhd and halfway through this forgot what I was writing about so my points get super blurry but I just wanted to state it here. I believe midoriya has severe self esteem issues and a hero complex. I can explain why concisely if anyone asks! 

Going by arcs now because I need some order to follow and regretfully can't just throw my thoughts about Midoriya at a wall and hope they stick (I will happily just spout nonsense at anyone who wants to listen): 

Pre ua-

Most of this I already covered in the above paragraph but I still wanna break down why Midoriya's childhood set him up for a hero complex and a love of escapism. As mentioned before, Midoriya has always had a love for analysis and heroes but it got much more intense after he experienced large bouts of trauma. You can see him isolating himself and getting completely absorbed into his analysis in multiple parts of the pre-UA sections of bnha. His hero complex stems from the fact that there genuinely was no one to save Midoriya. Because he knows what it's like to be alone without help, he takes it upon himself to save people (he basically says this himself too like my god this boy's hero complex is so so clear). Not to mention the fact that his abuser has been called a hero throughout his formative years. like….god….

All might training- 

And THEN all might destroys his dream by telling him he can't be a hero then LEAVES. Midoriya has not had a single good personal hero at this point. Like even his own mother doesn’t save him from this blatantly obvious abuse. So midoriya is just like. Left there to evaluate everything being broken in his life when he falls back on his escapism aka he walks to the scene of a hero feet because “[his] feet carried him [there]” ARE YOU KIDDING ME. he is literally doing something that brings him joy on autopilot. As a response to being told he can't do his life long goal by his idol. Following that he sees bakugou in pain and trouble and this is like right when the hero complex forms. The entire ‘feet moved before you can think’ IS NOT A GOOD THING!!!! He has NO self-preservation in this moment. AND THE ALL MIGHT PRAISES HIM FOR IT. literally cementing his hero complex as a ‘positive’ thing and not at all the self destructive thing it actually is. 

Following this all might tells midoriya he has to be the next symbol and that he has to be the one to make everyone feel safe. That is NOT a healthy mindset for a child to be in. Here Midoriya is told that he needs to protect everyone and this is where he starts to feel the need to be the one to fix everything, this is where he feels that everything is his fault. 

Usj-

Bro just got put into a hugely traumatic situation and did you see how he literally like blacked out when he went to protect Tsuyu? I’d also like to point out that at this point he's been told by all might that his lack of self preservation is a heroic quality. PLus plus plus being put into a situation like this would hurt your brain function so immensely, the adrenaline rush he must be having at this moment. 

Sports festival- 

Todoroki. Just the entirety of the todoroki thing. Someones gonna go “he was just doing the heroic thing, that makes him hero quality!!” BUT!!! I GUARENTEEEE MIdoriya saw some of himself in Todoroki then. Like, todorokis situation is ‘boy whos in bad situation with no one coming to save him because no one would believe him/step up against the number ½ hero’ and midoriya's situation as a kid was ‘boy whos in a bad situation and no one is coming to save him because no one would believe him and no one wants to help the quirkless kid’. So midoriya obviously took it upon himself to be the one to save todoroki and at this point he's had all mights words drained into him so he probably has taken it upon himself to save everyone in similar situations.

Hero killer- 

Speaking of people in similar situations: Iida! Sooo you're probably going “ghost. Iidas situation is NOTHING like midoriyas” and to that i say LET ME EXPLAINNNN because at this point iida has seen so many people be killed by stain that he more than likely believes no one can stop him but iida himself. This situation is ‘things are happening and no one is actively trying to stop it in the way I should, no one is coming to save this situation.’ so iida takes it upon himself and Midoriya sees this and recognizes it because of his own situation. 

Final exams- 

Bakugou. I have thoughts about this arc. Midoriya has no self preservation here at all. I could quite honestly say I believe midoriya is in some way suicidal. There is no ounce of non hero complex actions here. Midoriya takes it upon himself to save bakugou from failing the entire final exam even if bakugou doesn’t want that. And the their fight afterwards??? Where midoriya is like “youre all I look up to [bakugou]” (side note i hate calling him kacchan)???? WHERE IS YOUR SELF RESPECT MIDORIYA!!! BAKUGOU BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF YOU VERBALLY AND PHYSICALLY FOR YEARS!!!!!! 

Hassaikai and Paranormal liberation-- 

Combining these because during both arcs midoriya shows absolutely ZEROOO self esteem and self preservation. These two arcs are combined because therye basically him on the brink of absolutely losing his shit and fully leaning into the hero complex.

Dark hero (so important r you kidding)-

R you serious rn..this is literally him going ‘no one else is fixing it so I WILL. in a dangerous way this IS the hero complex arc 

But it's also the most self centered arc midoriya has had. His entire childhood has taught him to rely on himself and only himself so it's a given that he would only think about himself when anything happens that he needs to take care of as he's the only one who's ever shown to care about himself and others for a large portion of his life. Midoriya is such a complex character but you genuinely can only tell if you look deeper than what bnha has on the surface of it which makes me sad. I’m not here to diss horis writing and world building skills-he's much better at it than me- I just wish he would go deeper into his characters issues than having them fixed in short spurts (momo)

[my-castles-crumbling]

Hii cas it's limbo anon here! (Love the name u gave me btw).

I don't have a lot to update you on how I want to see if I have adhd besides the fact I finally have an appointment with my doctor. I kinda knew the process was gonna be slow, but I still wish it would go faster. It's honestly making my anxiety creep in bc of the reactions I've gotten from just saying I want to get diagnosed in the first place. Like, I know there's a chance that I might not have adhd but I feel more hesitant now.

I told my teacher bc I felt like I had to bc I'm struggling to keep up with work. And idk I feel like she was thinking "oh look its another mentally ill teen who couldn't get her work done on time" this makes me feel really torn between on whether I actually want to have a diagnosis for anything really. I feel like stopping the counselling and dealing with it. Idk how else to explain how I'm feeling besides the fact it feels like I'm spiralling for no good reason :( I don't always feel like this tho sometimes I feel really amazing and life is just so great until its just... not anymore. I really don't like feeling like I'm crazy but I really don't want to get looks for being different.

Anyways, I'm still gonna go to the appointment (I think) sooo ya :) hope you had a nice day/night!

Hi!

Honestly, I still think you should go. Fuck the people who don't think you have ADHD- if you get diagnosed they can't say shit about it, and if they do, they're being stupid. You deserve validation and help, and if the diagnosis gives you that then screw everyone else.

[danothan]

dc dreams i’ve had in 2023

highlights:

- reconnected with an old friend who asked what i’ve been up to lately and i immediately started showing him my (non-existent) flash collection, including but not limited to: flash jacket, flash lunchbox, and a flash figure (i need all of these now.)

- superman/GL crossover comic where clark kept outshining hal and hal was getting mad abt it but then clark gave him a big ol hug and it wasn’t such a big deal anymore

- my therapist made me annotate a batman comic bc they thought i would have a lot in common with him 😭 edit: the dream that diagnosed me w ocd.

- went to an ice creamery with jason who was begrudgingly playing a video game with damian bc dami wouldn’t stop yelling at him to over messages, but by the end of the dream he was proudly showing me his scores

- wally and martian manhunter’s nephew m’hammed were friends and wally was helping m’hammed disguise himself as human and hide in society and it took ages for anyone to pick up that “muhammed” was actually a martian. also wally was a kid but barry was already dead in this version :(

and the rest of em are below cut:

- nightwing/GL crossover comic where dick and hal were cowboys that came with cowboy trading cards

- dc pride parade where multiple alt universe barries showed up, one of them had the nonbinary flag painted on their face

- babysitting damian (twice recurring)

- halbarry making plans in the gc 🙄

- found a comic where hal was an orange lantern

- wonder woman was nimona’s mentor

- yja artemis finally became a character in the comics and they made a figure of her to celebrate!

- halcarol wedding in an airport

- brought my hal and superman plushies with me to go somewhere but i got confused why barry wasn’t with me :(

- tried to buy a christopher reeves’ superman vinyl for my sibling’s bday gift

- barry puppy plushies. 5 of them. woke up to have NONE.

- some terrible stuff was happening idk, i was too busy infodumping abt barry to someone and making sure they wrote it down. archiving history as the world ends ig, that’s my contribution

- found an awful comic called darkseid warside (?? had nothing to do w darkseid) that was beautifully drawn and had sooo many fun characters details (ex: barry won the lottery and named his winning ticket betty, there was also a letter in his handwriting that was perfect for character studying, hal kept sneaking selfies to commemorate his time w carol, ollie and roy were simultaneously trying to figure out how to talk to each other again and it was sad + sweet, etc) but it was so horribly written. so so ooc, basically injustice again but so much more gory, thawne died in the first issue and it wasn’t even bc of the flash, it was superman ripping his body into two and there were intestines splayed out everywhere (in front of the young justice too). it was so awful, but the character details and panelling were so unique, everything i couldve asked for, so i lamented abt having to buy it. the clerk was like “you don’t have to” and i was like “but im gonna 😔”