#but not gale bc *check notes* reasons ????

[wild-magic-oops]

take notes, Gale bby

[nejackdaw]

Got to BG3 act 3 and all of a sudden I feel like I'm playing Skyrim (why is everything bugged to hell) (can I get Gale's romance scene) (can I PLEASE get Gale's romance scene)

[the-phantom-otaku]

My Astarion Origin run may prove to be the thing that finally gets me to finish the little oneshot I've been trying desperately to write for weeks now.

The issue I ran into is that I wasn't entirely sure how the others would react upon learning he's a vampire, so I've been stuck on that for a while. The option to just tell them and see their in game reactions really helps.

Gale - Surprised but relatively chill about it. Reasons his way through by saying he hasn't been bitten yet and he sees that as a sign that he can trust Astarion. A little surprised he didn't have his suspicions considering how well-read he is, but idk I guess he hasn't read up much on vampires. Honestly, he didn't seem very worried about the news.

Wyll - Actually knew immediately bc he's a monster hunter and has dealt with spawn before. Laughed at me when I told him bc, in his words, "It could only be more obvious if you painted a red V on your forehead." Was still willing to trust tho bc he doesn't easily abandon allies once he's made them. He also noted how charming Astarion was. Then offered a deal: Don't bite any innocents and he won't kill me. Overall, also pretty chill w it probably bc he's sure he can just stake Astarion if the need arises.

Karlach - Suspected but wasn't sure. She liked it when I told her bc she liked the honesty. Took it pretty well, didn't seem all that concerned. Probably wasn't worried bc a vampire isn't much compared to the devils she's killed. Her engine also protects her from being bitten, so there's that. Overall, she seemed very quick to accept and trust. Oh, she also said she'd break Cazador if he came to camp.

Shadowheart - Was surprised, didn't even suspect anything. Seemed more... annoyed(?) than anything. Said she "just wanted normal companions for once" and then asked if her neck was safe. Overall, she didn't seem terribly worried or against the idea of him staying, but she did still seem to want some reassurance that she wouldn't get bit.

Lae'zel - Exactly what you'd expect. Had no idea (to my surprise) and jumped to threats (tho I did fail a charisma check so she might not be so aggressive if you don't fail that). Not exactly trusting in him but trusting in her own ability to eliminate him if he were to glance at her neck. She also noted that he was useful, so she wouldn't kill him unless he gave her reason. I thought it was interesting that she had no idea until I remembered she's likely only been around githyanki her entire life. Humans, elves, tieflings, and so much more are a strange and new sight for her. As a result, she might not recognize the signs of vampirism in these species bc for all she knows, elves can have red eyes and long canines and be that pale naturally.

Anyway, that's their reactions summed up for anyone curious or also struggling to write their reactions.

[blackjackkent]

Highlights from investigating the Reithwin morgue:

Like so many other places in Reithwin, it smells very badly of blood. Rakha is feeling exceedingly tense. She's not quite at breakdown level again yet but she's certainly feeling the strain of being around the remains of so much brutal death, mixed with the strain of all the mysteries around Moonrise and the strain of the continuing temptation to cut Isobel into component parts.

Lots of zombies wandering around. I'm not entirely clearly, in retrospect, on WHY there are so many zombies, except to provide combat fodder. I might be forgetting something obvious, but I'm assuming they were either corpses touched by the shadow curse in a weird way, or the result of Malus's experiments, or something Balthazar was doing down here. The impression I get from Malus's notes is that he was trying to be a necromancer too but wasn't as good at it as Balthazar.

Based on what Rakha sees of the laboratory deep in the bowels of the morgue, many of the people who died in Reithwin were subject to experimentation afterwards. Again, this resonates unpleasantly with the memory from the noblestalk of Rakha and Sceleritas working in some indeterminate lab cutting apart someone who was still alive. She hates the recollection - but also clings to it, in an odd way, because it means there are other memories somewhere, unreachable.

She is, however, utterly fascinated by the notebooks in another room, near the body of a dead Harper. One of the notebooks details the events immediately surrounding the curse's initial onset when Ketheric was initially defeated. The other is notes on magical experimentation:

Rakha definitely sits and stares at this book for a LONG time, reading it intently. (Perhaps Wyll goes and checks out the laboratory while she does so, since being there definitely makes her uncomfortable anyway.) This is very interesting to think about. For her, magic is simply something that happens naturally; she can instinctively determine the way the Weave needs to move and stretch to accommodate whatever she's trying to accomplish.

This is more like how Gale studies magic, she thinks. Learning, experimentation. Practice. A little like how she draws magic from Alfira's lute, finding right notes and chords that resonate into light.

She takes the book back to Gale later, curious if he can make anything out of the experimental spells the Harper was working on when he died. Gale can't - but does immediately try out Vita Cava just to see. Chaos ensues in camp afterwards.

I almost never remember to try out Speak with Dead on corpses; finally remembered in this case and got the message "Corpse Too Damaged." This always happens when I do manage to remember the spell exists. XD

Another of the notebooks in the lab ("Blood and Bodily Fluid Log", ewww), notes:

I just realized this is probably referencing the enormous behemoth-sized enemy that's hanging out in Balthazar's lab in the mausoleum. :O

Once again, big shoutout to Rakha's whole team now being loaded up with Misty Step, bc I'm pretty sure there's no other way to get to the Kuo-Toa fight besides Dimension Door or hurling everyone off a cliff for 50dmg apiece.

Unlike when Hector was here, Rakha has encountered Kuo-Toa before - they were the ones trying to summon "the great god BOOOAL" which the beast in Rakha's head did not like at ALL. Rakha, at the time, was pretty unnerved by her own instinctive and very destructive response to the fish-creatures' religion. For that reason, she might have made more of an effort to leave them alone here, as some kind of symbol to herself. However - they are all massively curse-soaked and consequently don't do her the same courtesy.

So she sets them all on fire instead.

[swifty-fox]

I DID enjoy the re-reads and will continue to do so. Listening to 1940s big bang swing and sipping my tea, it’s the perfect read 👌🏼👌🏼

The other thing about KFAK that I love and wanted to mention was that I love the family you built for John. It explains his lack of letters while also giving him a complex but loving home which is super interesting. And the added layer of his war service directly contributing to the family’s rise from relative poverty….how John Sr squared getting his sons service cheques while also not letting him write? Wow.

I like to imagine that in an AU of your AU that if John was allowed to write home he may have had enough of a general emotional outlet to also have the time to figure out his feelings for Gale and let them get together BEFORE the war ended but y’know that just didn’t happen for him!

The tragic historical gays really do just appeal to the lesbians what can we say! I’m behind on the HBO specific WW2 series (MOTA is my first) but the time period has always interested me (and so I’m happy to also see the historical accuracy in KFAK btw like I can tell you are fact checking things lol).

And it makes total sense that stereobone is your friend bc you’re both great authors! Need to drag myself back to tumblr just to engage in the beauty of the MOTA fandom let me tell ya!

Best wishes!

omg pls ur so sweet. I have so much planned for this story. lots of follow up one-shots and the like.

So it started out as me wanting to do this lil 10k oneshot of John bringing Gale home to meet his family and then I realized how do I follow the canon of John being like 'oh I have nobody to write to" while ALSO wanting Gale to be loved on by a whole clan of Egans. Thats what I came up with, especially inspired by like Tolkein and his son as well as Hacksaw Ridge and these men going off to war and coming home and thinking they did it they did the work so their sons could be safe. And then it all happens again. How do you cope?

John Sr. is so important to me, he's truly a standout character to me and I WILL be exploring his POV at some point

And the added layer of his war service directly contributing to the family’s rise from relative poverty….how John Sr squared getting his sons service cheques while also not letting him write?

I-

hold on.... hold on *opens my kfak notes* I DIDNT EVEN CONSIDER THIS OMGGG I might have to touch on that now somehow some way I love it.

I think even if John had been able to write home we would still be in a similar spot for a myriad of reasons. I very much want to keep this true and honest to sentiments of the time period in that John would not be accepted by his family if he were gay/into men. I will say that Edie does figure out John and Gale are an item sometime in the early fiftes, though never says anything beyond vague implications of acceptance and John does come out to Ma Egan in the late seventies a few years before she passe. Introduces Gale as he special friend :)

Lmao in terms of research....

[wretcheddthing]

This Is @pricemarshfield's Fault

all of them? i will do my level best! i liked ur answers for tav btw. ily

under the cut

Your Tav as a Companion

What would your Tav's greetings be (at different levels of approval)? Already Answered :)

Describe their tent setup! What's on the outside? The inside? she has a closed tent that is that nice sorta emerald green/teal color i usually have her in. inside is a chest of clothes and a string tied up with random notes clipped to it, outside she has a soft rug to sit on, a short table to write on, and a stack of notes and books about the weave, wild magic, and magic suppression strewn around. there are also bottles of clothing dye, a makeup kit, and a random instrument arranged around her chillin' area.

What would their character quest be titled? Why? Already Answered :)

What would your Tav's romance scenes look like? How many would they have? ideally, one scene for each act. i don't think she'd have a dedicated romance one for each act, but definitely character moments that could lean that way. she'd probably get a fully dedicated romance scene in acts 2 and 3 tho. i'm trying to think of her outside of terms as a protagonist because romancing gale was a bit of an outlier situation for her, i'm trying to consider how she'd really be. her first scene would be Tame i feel. she'd be upfront about feeling some sort of attraction, but she doesn't think it would be fair to indulge those feelings when she already has so much more going on. this is also where she'd admit to not actually being a wizard, but being a sorcerer. she wouldn't delve too deep into her reasons for it yet. her second scene would be after a character scene where she fills you in on the rest of her backstory. her university admissions project/excavation, finding the ruin, remembering bits and pieces of being taken control of to kill her friend, watching her 3 other friends do the same, being granted a volatile magic against her wishes, trying to gather information on how it happened and being rejected, her plan to pose as an inexplicably skilled and reclusive wizard ready to enter academia to trick her way into gaining the respect of people who can get her the information she's looking for. in the romance scene itself, she'd go a little deeper in explaining her relationship to the person she was forced to kill, how it feels to have wild magic almost ripping through her veins at every given moment, the guilt of being surrounded by people who think they're friends but don't know her at all, how frustrating the search has been. and then they could say something nice and kiss her or whatever idk. her third one would come After resolving her personal quest where she's just really happy to have finally been able to make some progress on what felt like a fruitless quest and being happy someone was willing to help her out and that she's equally proud of how well they've done in handling the absolute crisis so far. idk this one's kinda hard for her bc i can only see her with gale <3 so if she were to be played as an origin character or romanced in a gale origin run, there would be Way more content for the two of them. in my heart.

Describe their idle animations Already Answered :)

How would the player go about meeting them in Act 1? What is their introduction? i think you'd find her at the ruin where you find withers. maybe she's being hassled by the looters who are set up there, trying to talk her way out of whatever fight they have in store for her. she's freshly tadpoled and not near as powerful as she was, so this is a situation she wants very badly to be able to talk her way out of but might not be able to without help from the player. if you get the looters to leave through a charisma check, that's instant brownie points and she'll ask to stick around first after the whole tadpole mind meld thing. during that, btw, you'd hear a description of how she got her power. a cold, damp darkness, shattered memories, distant screams over a chittering cackle. she is super super mega against people delving into her mind like that, so if you're caught trying to look deeper she'll get Pissed. if you trigger a fight, she'll be kind of annoyed but still thank you for getting her out of that. if you leave the encounter without helping her, she'll get injured in the fight. if you return to the ruins later on, she'll be gone. she can be found again in the grove getting healed and she'll Not be happy to see you again.

Describe their arc. How would a player help resolve it? What choices can be made? Can your Tav be turned down a dark path, or pulled to a lighter one? venali is a strictly good-aligned character so she will get Mad if you try to make her do bad things. not only will she get mad, she will Leave if it's egregious enough. like killing the grove? not only will she yell at your for considering it, she'll try to fight you if you insist. her arc has a lot to do with learning to be at peace with her circumstances despite trying Very Hard to change them. she'd disapprove if you tried to persuade her from her search despite it being obvious that it's stressing her out. if you do successfully persuade her, she'll be a bit lost. it's occupied so much of her time and she doesn't know how to be happy with her situation because it never crossed her mind to try. she will insist that how her magic feels is not the same as how other mages feel. to her, it's an actively harmful element she cannot get rid of and she is Always uncomfortable with it. that doesn't mean she can't learn to find appreciation and utility in magic outside of necessity. she will fight the process of getting there, though. also she’d have something huge with the sussur tree and everything going on in lenore’s tower in the underdark given the effect of the sussur flower and the nature of Lenore’s research. and she would also be able to eat the noblestalk if you find it to try to remember what happened to her more vividly, but she wouldn’t like it very much. even if it does aid her search significantly.

After Act 3, what does their life look like? What are they talking about at the reunion party? she's getting ready to hit the road again, with or without an invitation to the player, depending. she'll mostly be talking about how strange it is to see everyone again

Back to Basics

9. What's the significance behind your Tav's name? fantasynamegenerators.com :)

10. Does your Tav have a last name? Is there a meaning behind it? Yes, Kelvyre. Also No, i just thought it sounded good with venali.

11. What is your Tav's go-to comfort food? a chunky stew i think. And mashed potatoes with cheese.

12. Does your Tav have any tattoos or scars? Why? Already Answered :)

13. What is your Tav's main color palette? Why do they choose those colors? i swap it up between acts! in act 1 it's Red + secondary color. depends how I'm feeling. sometimes just the red dye, sometimes it's the furnace red and black dye, but usually just the red one so her accent color can still be gold and not look bad. act 2 it's the blue and black dye and her accent color becomes silver. act 3 is the faewild green and dunn dye which looks super good with the gold accents again and also just suits Her so well. most of my screenshots for her are from act 3 because that's just quintessential Venali 2 me. she chooses to switch it up because that's just what she likes to do. she likes playing dress up and looking pretty.

14. Where are they from? What was home like? she is baldurian and is initially very protective of her home because everyone she's ever loved is from there. this stops being the case after That One Reveal in the wyrmway in act 3 (FUCKING ********!!!). she feels just kinda. gross about it all because of finding out her magic is sourced from the far realm and the emperor says some weird shit to her about it.

she had a good childhood, though. relatively peaceful. her parents didn't get along and her father stopped inviting her over for visits (her mother stayed in rivington, her dad stayed in the lower city), so she spent a lot of time with her pretty large friend group going on adventures and making "discoveries" at the ruins along the chionthar

15. Is your Tav more likely to fight/flight/freeze/fawn? it depends! if it's a more social setting, she'll be likely to fawn if something comes up to appease any tensions as quickly as possible. if it's out in the field and her life is being threatened, she's more likely to fight For a couple reasons. 1) she adventured on her own quite a bit while looking for answers on what sources her power and how to sever to connection to it and that comes with encountering dangers in the wild. i think she was about a level 10 sorcerer before getting tadpoled. 2) her magic is BEGGING to be used, otherwise it backfires on her more severely. it's like a constantly building pressure that needs release.

16. What do they do for fun, when not adventuring? What are their hobbies? Already Answered :)

17. Do they have any enemies outside of the main plot? Any friends? i like to think she has a sort of academic rivalry with another wizard in baldur's gate who is just. a Real Wizard about stuff. it's more of a petty annoyance to her, though. her real enemy is the thing that forced magic onto her and her friends, whatever it is. i have some ideas but nothing solid which i think. kinda might be the point of it. she has some other wizard acquaintances who would call her friend, but she wouldn't be comfortable calling them friends because she's not sharing her real self with them. her actual friends are the ones who went into and left the ruin with her. zela, currently a ranger. askal, currently a healer. and ambition, currently a part-time musician. they all have the same aspects of wild magic as venali and all were forced to kill one of their friends before being "granted" that power. it hinders them in the same way it hinders her, but venali feels she shoulders the most responsibility for it and insisted on being the one to find a "cure" if possible. the ones who died were maude, killed by venali; samti, killed by zela; gailhard, killed by askal; and ganur, killed by ambition.

18. Where/with who do they feel safest? with her mom, with gale, or in her little cottage she posts up in at a village between baldur's gate and waterdeep. after the game, this becomes gale's tower in waterdeep.

19. What is their MBTI Type? idk i think we stopped doing these?

Deep Dives

20. What is their relationship to touch? Do they shy away from it? Do they need it to feel present? she is a Very tactile person and usually just does it to show familiarity or affection. obviously if that isn't someone's jam she'll respect their boundaries, but she loves casual hugs and hand holding or just a gentle hand on their arm or shoulder.

21. Describe a defining moment from their past, which makes them who they are today! i don’t have the whole thing typed out to copy paste AUGH it’s in bits and pieces and the full story exists only in my mind. which is why i said i’d write it but have you considered that that’s hard and i get nervous.

anyway. Basically what happened was venali was working on an admissions project for a prestigious university so she could study history. her focus was the ruins of faerûn, the previous occupants, what they did, and what currently resides. she finds a ruin a ways outside of baldur’s gate that locals have really strange memories of, in that they speak of it as if it’s been there for centuries but written records don’t show its appearance until 50 years back. what struck her as odd was the records didn’t show it was recently discovered, but also referred to always having been there.

so she’s excited and is like. hell yeah i get to make a cool discovery this will Super impress the admissions board. she gets her friends together and organizes an excavation. they’d done shit like this for fun for years, which is how developed an interest in it. now she wants to do it ethically (and with funding). things are going well when ven discovers a mechanism that opens an archway leading deeper into the ruin. everything after stepping through the threshold is where everything gets fuzzy.

she remembers it was dark, Really dark. their torches hardly cut through it. there was a damp sort of Liveliness to the air. the walls looked wrong, like they were too soft and pulsating, but they were cool and rough to the touch. they walked further in, as if willed to do so. venali, to her knowledge, never even thought about turning back. there was a presence deep in an inner chamber, it spoke to them in their minds. whatever it was surrounded them, promised them power, Demanded they took its power, the price was low. logic overruled, everyone started realizing something was very wrong. with just a shred of competence left, they tried to leave. they couldn’t. the presence wanted them to leave with something, very badly. they only had to make a small sacrifice.

the next thing venali knew, her best friend’s head was in her hands, and jerked to the side in an instant. ahead of her, zela’s arm sliced her blade across samti’s gut. beside her, ambition was screaming as her hands choked ganur. she couldn’t see what happened to gailhard, but askal’s wailing was enough to know he’d met a similar fate to the other three.

venali blanked. for the first time she didn’t know what to do. and then her skin burned all over, something in her connecting to a new thread of reality. her arms crackled and spit with electricity, a rock wall formed to her left, cats and mice appeared at random around the room, the air thickened to the point of choking, a deafening Boom shook the chamber and the ceiling began to fall.

zela managed to take action and lead the other three to the exit, dodging rubble as it fell on them. venali was hit by a few large pieces, splitting her forehead and lip.

after crossing the threshold, her mind cleared but her blood still tingled. she was quickly losing what had just happened. the other three had casual expressions as if they had already lost it entirely. until confusing set in. venali was the only person who retained even a shred of memories, and those were fading fast. she had to relay what she could to the others before it left her completely and hope they believed her.

it didn’t take much convincing, as she was the first to discover she could conjure a fire bolt, having never previously done this. the others tried smaller forms of magic as well, finding they could now manipulate the weave. but it was Wrong. stirring and bubbling and Demanding to be used. and not every effect was intended. some harmful, some odd. few helpful.

the end :)

22. How is your Tav's relationship with their family? Their parents? i just wrote a novel so forgive me if this is short

no siblings, close with mom, not close with dad. her parents didn’t get along, they never married. dad tried A Little Bit to be present when she was young, but had a hard time acting like he wanted to be. her visits became few and far between, though she still tried to write. she would sometimes get a response.

she has an aunt and some cousins on her father’s side, but they lived several miles away and weren’t very fond of ven’s mom either. her family was most her friends, and that got halved pretty quickly. and badly.

23. How does your Tav act in situations of stress? In moments of peace?

stressed really depends. social stress she can handle like a champ. she’s very graceful in those situations and can think quickly on her feet. having to fight shit she doesn’t like so much because her best weapon is her magic and that often goes bad for her. she can’t control the wild magic surges, so at the very least she’s Adaptable in a fight.

in moments of peace she tries very hard to be relaxed, and occasionally she can be, but her mind is always at least slightly occupied by the worst thing to ever happen to her. either as regret, or in planning her next moves, or deciphering the information she does have.

24. What does your Tav consider to be their own biggest character flaw? Already Answered :)

25. What is something they would die on a hill over? uhhh probably something something wizards don't own academia and trying to gatekeep and weave-ify knowledge makes you an asshole. idk i feel like there would be real beef between wizard academics and regular academics. and ven would have opinions about it having posed as a wizard to gain access to information she was barred from otherwise.

26. Give us one of your Tav's secrets! other than The Big One? idk. she's really a bit of an open book in all other instances. she doesn't hide her personality or interests so much as she's just spent a long time misrepresenting herself. OH also. she doesn't mind her name being shortened to ven, but the reason she absolutely will NOT allow anyone to call her veni is bc that was maude's nickname for her.

27. What is the worst thing they've ever done/said to someone they love? for sure it would be killing maude. i feel like that is a pretty significantly bad thing that happened, even if it wasn't of her own free will.

28. Describe a smell that reminds your Tav of childhood. sea salt, brackish water, rotting wood, dusty stone, and baking bread. that's many smells :)

29. What fears keep them up at night? she has nightmares of what happened in the ruin, even seven years on, because that incident has been a driving force as much as a source of torment since it happened. she worries over what will happen if she never gets closure on that part of her life, being stuck with a volatile magic as a major hindrance forever. she's also terrified of the dark and cannot sleep without some form of nightlight.

30. What does your Tav want more than anything? to have just a normal, relatively peaceful, quiet life. she wants to try to go back to school, focus on her interests, start a family, and not wake up every day actively fearing what she doesn't know. she just wants peace of mind.

and I think that’s all of it. i can and will talk about her forever tho. btw.

[fizzypunks]

its a date but its not a date

fandom: My Hero Academia/ Boku No Hero Academia word count: 3.8k/oneshot rating: t summary: hizashi takes shouta to a little festival and insists its not a date... just pure fluff bc <3

ship: Aizawa Shouta/ Hizashi Yamada | Erasermic

note: this reads better in AO3 because it keeps formatting for italics, which tumblr does not!

AO3

___

Yamada Hizashi wasn’t a timid person – it wasn’t even a quirk thing, it was just his nature, and it was something he was proud of. Sure, he’d been called loud and obnoxious, and some have been less than kind about his quirk when it’s gotten out of control. His quirk control wasn’t great for a very long time, but none of what he’d been called or heard had really changed the way he carries himself, and that  includes  his extroverted nature.

 He was, however, a panicked person, when it came to matters of  interest .

 Love. 

  Whatever .

 And, because love was the one thing that made him think twice about what he says, what he does or doesn’t do, that has landed him in the exact predicament that he’s facing right now.

 Hizashi tapped his pen against his essay, the half filled pages of his stationary blurring together into a mass of lines and half-assed penmanship. He’d been staring at it for the past five minutes, when he’d given up on trying to ignore his annoying problem.

  Shouta .

 It’s been getting harder to ignore the stupid pull of something he’s recently identified as  yearning  that comes every time he thinks of his best friend. Stronger than any hurricane gale, it pulls in every thought he has until there are no more to be had. Just Shouta, and his messy hair, and the eyes he thinks are pretty despite always being so blood-shot.

 Hizashi groans, faintly feeling heat spill across his cheeks. “God, why must I be so fucked?”

It’s not like he’s even asking him out on a  date  – no, he’s not bold enough to do that in their last year  and semester of school– there’s no need for distractions like that right now, whatever outcome may or may not come from it…. no, he’s just asking to take Shouta to the Autumn festival at the park, because Shouta should do something fun and get out of his room and not explode from stress.

 The poor guy has been spending all his time studying and stressing and sleeping even  less , so of course Hizashi would want to help his friend out and get him to relax.

 Yeah, that’s what it was – one friend asking another friend out because stress is bad.

 That doesn’t change the nervous skip in his heart right now, as he sits at his desk and thinks about…

 Hizashi groans again, tipping back in his chair and hooking his foot against the back of his desk so that he’s less likely to tumble. Theoretically, at least.

 Why does it feel so  significant  right now? He’d asked Shouta to do countless things with him! He’d gotten him to agree to go to the movies a bunch of times, and to a party or two, and, most recently, he’d even been able to rope him into going to a karaoke club! He didn’t sing, they left earlier than he’d planned, but Shouta had fun!

 Hizashi narrowed his eyes at the white ceiling and the ceiling fan that whirled past his vision, playing with the very edge of the wooden panel that kept him from tumbling onto his carpet.

 This wasn’t supposed to mean anything, but somehow it did.

 It felt like a declaration, no matter how he phrased it in his head, and he doesn’t understand the logic behind it.

  Fine. Whatever! I’ll just ask, and be blunt, and do it right before I leave so there’s no room for thinking, and it’ll be okay! 

 Something like,  “Hey, Shouta, let’s go to this festival! It’ll be so much fun! PLUS, I think you’ll look cute sharing cocoa with me!”

 Hizashi’s eyes widened, his foot slipped in that one moment of lost focus, and he fell –

 “ Fuck!”

 It was a little too loud, bordering on quirk use, but he had other problems to think about beside  that .

 He rubbed the back of his head.

 “Man…”

 If he can’t even imagine it the right way… how was he supposed to  actually  ask? It would be pretty stupid to try when he knew he could act a little too carelessly and, potentially, damage the good friendship they had going on.It was probably better left un-asked.

 Unsaid, un-asked, and out of mind.

 ~

 It was most certainly not out of mind, that is clear.

 Shouta is sitting across from him, half-mast eyes scanning the copy of his English text book in a way that looked a lot more performative than informative. Their booth was tucked more toward the back of the cafe, and it would normally be a bit more secluded and quiet, but midterms brought students from the woodwork and into any coffee-scented establishment, which their happened to be.

  What great luck.

 All around them was the sound of machines grinding coffee, books being shifted around, and light conversation in between bouts of half-silences – and a heavy vale of constant movement that proved to be less than ideal for studying, despite all the students trying to do  just that .

 It was to be expected this time of year, but it was still enough to bother Shouta. He concentrated better with silence, and he happened to be struggling a lot more on English than he does on his other subjects.

 Hizashi, thankfully, understood the material enough for the both of them and then some, and already finished his homework – the papers in front of him were notes, ready to be explained the moment Shouta needed it, with hand-writing that was still pretty bad but…

 For Shouta, he’d made an effort. The result was somewhat-legible scribbles lining the papers, and when he referenced it, Shouta didn’t have to ask too many questions about,  “what is this right here?”

 “I’m not going to pass.”

 Hizashi turned his eyes to Shouta, like he hadn’t been trying to find a reason to look at him longer. He was wearing a big, thick red scarf, which his hair was somewhat tucked into. He didn’t look up, he just kept his eyes on his text book. His irises weren’t moving on the page.

 “Oh man, don’t say that! How’d you think you’re gonna pass if you don’t believe in yourself?”

 “It’s because I don’t believe in myself.”

 Hizashi grabbed his warm cocoa and took a sip, if only to busy his hands with  something . “Shouta! I don’t like this type of negativity!”

 “Well, you’ve chosen the wrong friendship then.”

 “Or, maybe, the  right one!”

 Shouta looked up, and Hizashi held his gaze. His eyes had been given a break over the past few days of written work, so the redness that often lined them was almost completely gone.

 His skin looked soft too…

 His hair, it was fluffy and cute, also..

 “Hizashi?”

 He’d been staring and not talking and he leaned back into his seat like a magnet to metal. He started laughing, holding his drink up to his face. “Well, maybe I can cheer you up! What are friends for, right? And maybe it will turn that attitude around, ya think?”

 “You’re not making any sense?”

 Hizashi hated that it was true but there’s no going back now – his mouth was ten steps ahead of him anyway, and not even  he  could stop it.

 He smiled widely at Shouta. “I mean, maybe I’m here to make sure you don’t stress yourself out so much! You always do so much but never  check  yourself, and I’m here to fix that!”

 Shouta huffed, head bobbing just a bit. Then he smirked and Hizashi had to concentrate on his breathing. “And how do you propose you’d do that?”

 Oh, it was so easy – this was the opportunity the  gods  gave him after seeing him fall on his ass just a few days before.

 Hizashi leaned forward, and set his elbows down on his notes, a hot cocoa between them. “One word.  Festival .”

 Shouta’s eyebrows quirked down just a bit, and he tilted his head to the side, his hair tilting with him. “Festival?”

 “What do ya say? The park next to my neighborhood has one this weekend, and it’s free, and there’s food, and I really wanna go!”

 Hizashi grew pink at the admission, fought against the urge to cover his mouth, but Shouta didn’t comment. 

 Then, a little surprisingly, instead of arguing or finding reasons why it wasn’t logical to take time away from studies so close to exams, he gave him a smile.

 A small, intentional,  Shouta  smile. “Sure.”

 Hizashi tried to not sound over-enthused – just nodded his head and almost squeezed his cup too hard. “Yes! I finally got you to agree to do something!”

 “You always get me to do things.”

 “Yes, and I did it again!”

 Shouta rolled his eyes, and turned his attention back down to the English he’d never really understand.

 ~

 Hizashi was certain he looked fine. He wasn’t sure if it was  great  , but it was probably fine, and  whatever.

 Beside, had many other things to worry about, that were a lot more important than whether or not his shirt matched his shoes. Like, for one, how he still couldn’t quite shake the feeling of  significance .

 It was back, that nagging intrusion into his thoughts that insisted that something was supposed to be different this time. As he looked over his outfit in his body mirror, pulling over his heavy, long jacket, he had to remind himself that there was nothing different about today. Even if he really, in his heart,  wanted  there to be something different. 

 Huh.

 So maybe the difference was the  amount of yearning – Hizashi sighed, thinking about his feelings last year and comparing them to now. 

 He huffed, a huge sigh finally making itself known.

 Yeah, the feelings he had now were bigger and grander than they’d been last year and they threatened to take over his life if he let them…

 Hizashi sighed, rubbed his hands over his face, and pushed his hair back only to reveal his pink, flustered expression to its fullest.

 “Sweet lord, have mercy on me! I am an idiot with a crush!”

 He collapsed onto his bed and waited out the last of the thirty minutes before Shouta was going to arrive at his door.

 ~

 Shouta knocked, and Hizashi was already ready – his heart doing flips like he’d never experienced, but oddly enough, it didn’t feel bad. It felt exciting, and loving, and when he opened the door to the crisp autumn air, it felt like  home .

  Stop that!

 Shouta, for all his questionable outfits, looked  nice . And he always looked nice, but now he was wearing black boots, and brown khakis that somehow sort of matched Hizashi’s own, and a black tee underneath a black jacket.

 He never went anywhere in the cold without a scarf, either, and today was no exception. A red variety  was ceremoniously draped around his neck, loose enough to not be covering his face.

 Hizashi tried not to beam, but felt the shape his eyes took at the other and knew it wasn’t working. “Ready?!” He asked, a little too loud.

 “Yes… you said it was close, right? At the park?”

 Hizashi nodded, stepping out and slipping his hand into a pocket to make sure he had his keys and wallet. Confirming quickly, he shut the door behind him, again, with a little too much enthusiasm.

 He was  buzzing . Some type of energy that he normally had built up in him, that he normally kept pretty good reins on, was taking over –

 He was so excited, but, even more – he was just  happy .

 He looked to Shouta, and smiled, and then led the way down his steps and onto the quiet street. The sky was clear, save for some cloud further down on the horizon. The trees were starting to make themselves barren, and the smell of wood burning fires started to break out as soon as the sun hit its peak.

 The neighborhood, secluded and at peace, was quiet, and Shouta walked beside him in comfort.

 Hizashi never struggled to say anything, and now is no different – except it is, when he thinks he’ll say something dumb like  “hey i like you so much, you make my world right, also I love you. ”

 He can’t say that. 

 But he really,  really wants to.

 He’s wanted to for years, and he’s almost said it more than once, and now he’s let the silence build around them…

 Shouta often takes mercy on him, and so he did it again this time. Their pace was slow and there was a little bit of space between them, and he sighs. “This is really nice.”

 Hizashi smiles, keeps his eyes on the road as it winds forward. “I’m glad you think so! We’ve stressed so much, it’s a good weekend getaway, don’t you think?”

 Shouta laughs – it’s more of a chuckle, but it’s a laugh where Shouta is concerned. “Yeah, you’re right. I needed this, a lot, I think…”

 They reach the corner, looking for cars that weren’t coming. The crest of trees a few blocks ahead could be seen above rooftops, and that’s where Hizashi fixes his gaze. “Me too,” he says softly, and leaves it at that because he’s always on the verge of  too  many words.

 “You seem really… energized.”

 Hizashi fumbles with his hands, pretending to warm them up and not like he’s nervous. “When am I not!”

 Shouta hums, and it’s so deep and close that it makes Hizashi wish he could just…

 But then Shouta reaches out, and grabs at the hands Hizashi is cradling in front of him, blunt and to the point. He takes Hizashi’s left hand and slots their fingers together in his right, and Hizashi knows he can feel the clamminess…

 He looks back, sputtering, his heart erratic, “Shou – wha– I’m –”

  Does he know this is messing with me?

 And Shouta, in that calm, stupid way he always carries himself, smiles. “Maybe that’s what I’m here for.”

 He squeezes their hands, and Hizashi must look confused because Shouta laughs.

 “You always try to bring me up, so I think I can help bring you calm… You seem nervous, so,” he looked at their hands, swung them just a bit for emphasis. “Calm.”

 Hizashi feels every bit of himself crumble, falls away like a cliff against a storm, and smiles because it’s all he can do. He blushes and he can feel how it spreads, and he doesn’t say anything because every sentence ends in  I love you .

 ~

 The festival was a pleasant and home-y affair, and after they’d gotten there, they’d learned that it was quite bigger than either of them anticipated. Though it was still a neighborhood one, hosted by the local families and park itself, it was still filled to every corner.

 They’d gotten there during the peak of the sun, but it quickly descended as they wove in and out of the scattered foot traffic. The air was crisper where the lake sat in the center of the park, and the trees casted half shadows around the food and merchant vendors.

 They were walking around for less than an hour before the lanterns and torches were starting to light around them.

 Shouta still held Hizashi’s hand, and once he’d accepted the lovely fact, he’d loosened up enough to feel like his mouth wasn’t going to get him into trouble.

 “Wow! Shou! Look!” He pointed out, across the deep blue lake, to the hovering lights that surrounded it. 

 Shouta hummed warmly. “It looks very nice.”

 Hizashi was still smiling, still enamored by the lights as they floated out across his vision – the way the cool air from the dipping sun brushed against his skin and somehow made all the warmth in him  that  much warmer.

 He quickly cast his eyes down to Shouta, and found him looking at him.

 Hizashi’s ears burned and he looked away really fast, heart thumping deep in the cage of his chest.

  Oh don’t you dare say it. Don’t you DARE.

 “Um…” He said softly, intentionally because otherwise his quirk might get the best of him – he didn’t know if he was embarrassed by his enthusiasm, or by the way Shouta was watching him, but it all went away when Shouta tugged them along the side of the lake.

 It’s a few more moments before Hizashi gathers up the right words to say – the ones that aren’t gushy and filled with emotions he’s certain Shouta wouldn’t reflect. 

 “So!” He starts, looking around now that they were near the cluster of food stands. The air was filled with burning wood, meat, sauce, alive with the sound of simmering and laughter. “Want food? My treat! We can’t walk away without trying everything at  least once!”

 “I didn’t know you were rich enough to do that.”

 Hizashi chuckled. “I’m serious, though. Whatever you want!”

 Hizashi ignored the eyes tilted his way, right before leading off to Hizashi’s right. Hizashi turns around enough to look at the little stand and it’s cloth menu.

 It was a takoyaki shop, with different bao, and there was no line. 

 Hizashi smiled, and it was his turn to tug Shouta forward. He couldn’t really  look  at him, not just yet any way, but he could hear the light lilt in his voice when he ordered from the kind eyed older man at the register. Hizashi made his order quickly, and paid, and they walked away with various stacks of food.

 It wasn’t even a question where they’d go, and they found a spot under a tree to sit with their food. 

 The grass was cut, and the little hill they sat on overlooked a great deal of the sprawling festival that surrounded them. Up here, the voices that surrounded them, the chatter, the laughter that Hizashi was not interested in, was duller – muted, and when Shouta hummed in hungry appreciation at his bao, it made his heart ache all the more.

 He snuck a look to his right, graced by the mercy of Shouta closing his eyes. He’d just taken a bite, had unravelled most of his scarf to do so, and was now enjoying it for all it’s worth.

 Hizashi’s eyes softened at the sight.

  God.

 And Shouta opened his eyes, in his direction like he just knew.

 Hizashi looked down and took his bao. “This looks good! I should eat like this more.”

 “You should take me to more festivals, too.”

 Hizashi choked a bit – he recovered fast, and cast a glance toward Shouta. “Sure thing!”

  This feeling... 

 Maybe this is what he had been feeling – the lead up to whatever moment this was. The way Shouta really took the time to look at him, not through him. Like he was paying attention.

 Maybe…

 Hizashi held his oversized bao in both hands and looked forward. It suddenly didn’t feel like such a bad idea to speak. To say whatever it was that he was going to say, because for Shouta, it would always be okay…

 Didn’t make him feel any more at ease, not with the stupid thought in his head that maybe he was misreading whatever today was. Who knows, maybe Shouta always paid attention to him like this? And sure, the hands thing… that was new, but maybe Shouta just really likes holding hands but he needs to be comfortable with the person, and now after three years he’s  finally comfortable with Hizashi?

  If you’re gonna say something…

 “Hey,” he started. 

  Say it now.

 “I’m having a really good time.”

 He doesn’t take his wide, blown-out eyes from the festival. It was dark enough that every lantern stood out like little stars, and the breeze was so nice…

 “If you want… we can, um, do this again. I’ll find another festival, but I can’t guarantee it’ll be free this time, but I’ll try! And I’ll see if I can sneak in some home made food too so we can spend more money on like, cute stuff from the merchants. I saw this plush down there, actually, and it was a  cat , so maybe –”

 No, Hizashi wasn’t a timid person – but,  still , it was probably for the best that Shouta was the first one to move. He grabbed Hizashi’s hand, urging it away from the bao so that he could hold it again. 

 He’d pulled his attention to the forefront, and his eyes to finally meet his, and he realized that Shouta had moved so much closer…

 The dark of his eyes was so close, and he was  smiling …

 “You talk a lot when you’re nervous.”

 There wasn’t a way to hide the flush, so Hizashi looked down, feeling too open. “I’m sorry…”

 He couldn’t see his eyes, but he could see his smile. “I like it, though.”

 “What about if I say I like you...  Will you still like it?”

  Please…!

 Shouta didn’t leave him any time to doubt.

 “It makes it a lot easier… for me to say I like you, too… yeah, I’d like it…”

 Hizashi’s entire body was fireworks – explosions and exclamations and that same buzzing energy that gripped him every time he thought of Shouta. He grinned, and looked up to see Shouta was just as embarrassed and flustered as he was.

 He’d normally have to look away, but he assumed he had permission now, and…

  God you’re so pretty…

 His eyes, his eyelashes, the way his eyes bend against his smile and how he’d never seen him smile like this before… 

 Hizashi abandoned the bao in his lap and pushed away the hair that framed his face, slowly, not sure if it was too much to hold his face – 

 “I’m – I’m sorry, can I?”

 Shouta nodded. “And you can kiss me too, in case you weren’t sure…”

 That was all the reason he needed.

 He’d had so many reasons, so many countless reasons he  loved him...

 He cupped his jaw, still acutely aware of the way Shouta was still holding on to his hand in the grass – 

 It was cold, that was true, but right now he was warm with nerves and excitement and  love , and he leaned in –

 His breath, so warm –

 His lips, so soft –

 And neither of them were particularly experienced or daring, so after a few seconds when he finally parted their lips just a bit, they pulled away, just enough to speak.

 “Mmm, you taste like bao,” he said, and then wished someone was there in his brain to stop whatever dumb shit was trying to get out.

 Shouta just laughed. “So do you.”

 The rest of their night was spent on that hill, kissing and talking and, eventually, finishing their food. When they finally left, Hizashi found that plush cat at the vendor near the entrance of the park and gave it to Shouta. Shouta blushed, and Hizashi glowed with comfortable warmth, glad that he can now get cute things for his boyfriend.