#but my mental illness sure doesnt | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

grim-has-issues · 1 year ago

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that history assignment is so fucking dumb, it just has to want to be late.

#i hate this #my teacher #and her bitchass assignments #lets pray i never get doxxed #ap world history #ap modern #i hate it here #i hate school #i love education #but my mental illness sure doesnt

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kkoct-ik · 9 months ago

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i dont think i will ever forgive what the internet did to DID because please explain to me how "your sense of self is so torn apart you think youre multiple people" turned into "youre actually multiple people"

do you understand what i mean? please understand what i mean

#kostik speaks #yes cat 3 are real things ive been told and things that honestly really traumatised me and ruined my relationship with myself & disorder #some reassurance im not the only person who finds this super upsetting would be nice #my mental illness: causes harrowing feelings of disconnection from my life and a tendency to disown and/or reject my identity #some people for some fucking reason: reinforces the mental illness in ways never thought possible #i love and appreciate everyone who knows about my bullshit and yet doesnt deny me my personhood or treat me like some freak #i got really triggered about this yesterday so ive deleted the bulk of the tags i wrote (dehumanisation trauma when)#but i stand by this and ive been assured i make sense so sure. posting #this is the real reason i hate giving my disorder by name if you even care. it is specifically this treatment #did tag

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xxplastic-cubexx · 3 months ago

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you say they can’t put telepaths in marvel rivals, yet we have some very credible leaks that jean grey and emma frost are gonna be in the game soon.

that being said, jean has telekinesis (and the phoenix force) and emma has her diamond form. telepathy is all charles has, lmfao. odds are pretty low for him, but maybe not zero if they give him telekinesis!

if yall have me say he got psionic blasts one more time i am going to scream HE HAS MORE THAN TELEPATHY . LIMITED BUT HE HAS IT <- he has gone against sentinels and disabled armies with it before HE CAN FIGHT I PROMISEEE

and technically they did give him telekinesis in krakoa (and very weak telekinesis sometimes before krakoa) so .... not my fave move but he does have that ...... and ig they give him a gun sometimes ........ last resort type shit but he has options ..

#snap chats #area man gets too passionate about charles xavier more at 12 #also did i not say emma had her diamond form or did i delete that tag #omg no i deleted the tag fuck my life. please believe me i did say emma had her diamond form i didnt think anyoned care tho #but with charles. as i said before. he has more than telepathy ...#limited but .. it exists options exist ... he can also Arguably control machinery #i say Arguably cause im still figuring out how he controls machines he says he does with his mind #then he can Also read like ??? SOME kinda waves in sentinels ??? that was a thing im p sure #BUT YEAH NO LISTEN this is what im saying when i say he could be a support character and not a duelist #as if anyone was contemplating duelist charles ........#lol i love how i call 'vanguards' tanks and 'strategists' supports but i stick with duelist for damage. sorry duelist better #anyway let charles be support it'll never happen because this game hates me but i can dream #listen im just saying maybe charles can have a move that disables machinery or something #like punisher or iron man... maybe like a temporary lock on weapons... just one target #lmao wait im just thinking of sombras ult from ow arent i. yeah fuck it why not he can have a disable-all-skills ult idc vejRLKAERJE #sounds bout right for how sneaky he is sometimes .....#his left and right clicks could lit just be psionic blasts of varying strength and speed #doesnt even have to do physical damage ... mental damange .... what the difference right the brain sayin There Is Pain anyway..#maybe charles could have a sonar ability that lets him (maybe nearby allies too) see through walls for like. three seconds... 50M range....#like yk what i mean he can sense where people are thats my idea...#LIKE LET ME COOK MARVEL LET MEEE IN <- dont ill make him busted or horrible there is no in between

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unnonexistence · 1 month ago

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i swear to god the universe is trying to prevent me from getting on anxiety meds

#I THOUGHT I HAD IT SORTED OUT THIS TIME but nooooo #last time it was bad timing to start & then i chickened out & didnt make a doctors appointment for ages #finally had another appointment and got a new prescription #it's bad timing again b/c im going on a trip but im just going to start right after i get back #talked to my doctor about this #she was like 'ok try it for six weeks and come back' & we booked a followup appointment for 6 weeks out from when ill start #and i was like 'so the prescription is for 6 weeks worth?' and she was like 'no it's 8 actually'#cool! sounds great! sounds like a plan!#i went to the pharmacy and picked it up #didnt look at it which i guess was a mistake #just looked at it now and #they gave me nine tablets.#NINE. TABLETS.#THIS IS NOT 8 WEEKS OF MEDS GUYS #WHO FUCKED UP MY PRESCRIPTION #theres no refills either!#im on half a tablet for 2 weeks so 9 tablets will last... 16 days -_-#they also charged me $23 for this which like. jesus christ #sure fine i'll pay $900 a year for mental health meds if they actually HELP but. oh my god #these did not cost $2.55 a tablet when i filled the previous prescription for the same med #i do still have that & will use it after i get a pharmacist's advice on whether it's like. still good. dont want to fuck around w/ that #but. smh #idk if they gave me the wrong amount or my doctor wrote the wrong amount #2 weeks on half + 6 weeks on full should be 49 pills #.....ah. someone dropped the 4 #i hope they charged me for all 49 already lol it would be nice if this doesnt cost me another $100 #personal

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theokusgallery · 1 year ago

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i have bad news for anyone who expects mental illness to be family friendly

^ yeah!

#thats a pretty good summary of it.#ask #anon #arsenic #ok ill rant about the au and mentall illness— nick's not diagnosed with anything. doesnt mean he doesnt #- /have/ anything.#mostly im thinking npd and bpd but this dude just. is not self aware at all. nobody ever told him. oops #im also giving him low empathy because i'll give low empathy to any character im obsessed with #(read: im projecting) (same way im making sunny trans. have i ever mentioned sunny's trans in this AU)#anyway. sunny's autistic but ive said that one before #nick is a psychiatrist's wet dream i think.#for the record i dont think people with npd or bpd are evil. im not evil. my friends are not evil #this AU doesnt exist to be good representation! sorry #anyway narcissistic abuse is not a real thing and aspd was made up by psychiatrists who thought that surely people being violent-#- means they're mentally ill. they based the diagnostic criteria off of criminals. the dsm is made up and none of this is real #i could rant about the way PDs are treated for hours. do NOT give me an opportunity to do so #this AU is not good rep but if someone starts calling nick a psychopath or a sociopath i will bite !#omori #rant

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arsenicflame · 5 months ago

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hi so, checking in (sorry, its personal bullshit again, ill get back to the fandom stuff you actually wanted,,,, eventually)

things. are going bad. like, really bad, like last january bad. like im about to lose all my personhood again bad. im hoping its still just going to be a small blip and things will start upticking soon, but. im bracing for that not to be the case. it feels different to me

i vaguely mentioned earlier in the week taking a bit of a step back, and ive decided to extend that into a full break. my queues probably going to run out before im back, though i have slowed it down some. thatll be the only noticable difference for 99% of people. i wont guarantee any dm responses on here, but ill do my best for the couple of people who have me on discord

i didnt really want to do this again but it gets messy in my head, and ive found the best way to control the clawing beast of attention and need and the things that make me want to be a person i dont want to be is to cut it off at the source. its not nice, and it hurts, and it definitely kills the chances of making friends but. i promise you its better than the alternative.

ill see you when i see you, i guess. i hope its soon. i hope this isnt how it feels to be. i hope the feelings that have existed this week go dormant again. but itll be what itll be. i can't change that

#i know these things do not matter in the long run but it feels important to me to say #easier to concentrate on public presence than the emotions of it i guess #nyxtalks #vent #not going to lie to you my friends. im scared #the problem is ultimately. it all feels rational in the end. it feels weighted and worthy and not just a product of mental illness #so i can sit here and feel as in control of my headspace as i want. its just i agree with my darkest thoughts #am i even a person worth the effort? all evidence points to one very clear answer #anyway #it scares me. ive felt more at home in my skin these past few months. had some rough spots for sure but. i hoped this would go away for muc #longer. i hoped i could at least get a couple of years #i dont know. i live in hopes of an impossible future where the dark doesnt get so dark you know? i think thatd be nice #i still can't function in any of the ways a person should. but at least i wouldnt be such a burden then #itd be easier to carry. if it was lighter #i dont really know what im saying im just. scared & sad & spending my entire day at work catastophising (and sm stuff there is NOT helping)#and all i really want is to lie curled up with my friends and not move for days and be held and comforted and feel a love that is true #and i dont even think thatd change things. i dont think anything can help me #even in my most fantastical scenarios i dont change. im just easier to love that way #ok im going to shut up now i dont think any of that had a point. its just rambles for me and me alone #ill see you when i see you. dont know when but i will be back. i can promise you that much #i have plans to keep for now at least

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autism-corner · 1 month ago

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whateverr :3

#mental illness yiipeeeee #ig im being punished for my near-whole day of having fun yesterday?? grumpgrumpp #the voices have been stronger but i think bc they didnt get to talk yesterday they went all out todayy =w=bbb #lucky me that im awesome and strong and normal :3 look at me go.#i want to give in i want to give in i want to give in. but that would make me a 'bad' person. someone that needs saving.#and. i know ill get out of it again. hell RIGHT NOW im mostly out of it.#i know ill get out of it and healthier me doesnt want to be back to those times. but MANN bad me needs it and wont stop telling me.#sillyposting #maybe i should relapse to see how bad it was again. JOKING.#i dont think im strong enough to relapse yayyyayy #/gen btw it takes fucking balls to do that shit holyy #anyway. coming up on two years. apparently it never gets better help.#again. jk. surely it does. surely. it has to. i have to survive because it all must lead SOMEWHERE. surely.#like i said its all whateverrr :3 i know ill be back down again tomorrow probably but we'll also be back again tomorrow.#and the cycle will continue. because it always does. it always will.#WHATEVERR #dont take any of this shit to heart im being dumb and silly rn teeheee #ill be fine. thats the way it has to be.

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tiredtriedfailures · 8 months ago

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the way people respond to the "omg you people cant do anything" tweet with "holy shit this rewired me" "fixed me" "sometimes i need to remember this tweet and i immediately get better" makes me so mad. im glad it helps you man. it just irritates me cuz more often than not im the people who cant do anything. at least being mocked and shamed functions to motivate you out of your problems. this is so healthy for all of us

#mypost #im being an edgelord im being salty i KNOW #life is HARD and im FILLED WITH ANGER #keep that in mind whenever im saying anything #mental illness #neurodivergent #adhd #autism #pretty sure that post was abt adhd wasnt it?#well fuck all yall who laugh at ''omg you people cant do anything''#on my best days that tweet registers as someone attempting to gotcha someone they perceive as ''self diagnoser/trender adhd''#which is. UGH. ill get back around #on my worst days it feels like a personal attack. in which im entitled to my madness and tumblr rants #but yeah trying to ''own'' that persons tweet doesnt have any redeemable quality at all #theres no way to criticize it without sounding like a joyless sjw so lets count the ways it can be complimented #''good job owning that person posting about their mental disability making their life difficult you were the funny one in that interaction'#👍

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stuck-in-the-ghost-zone · 21 days ago

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hhhhh corner beanbag time will fix me

#the paranoia corner....................................................#my legs hurttttt my mind hurtsss my fuckin. arms are ITCHY i hate it here. i dont want to be mentally ill i want to DRAW #at least i read some of my book today. been meaning to do that more. number go up on storygraph feels like progress #three more days. then ill be normal. surely #jguhghghghhghghghghgh #i wasnt even THINKING about it today and then i saw something and was like. subconsciously.#oh i should send this to [redacted] !! ^_^ and then. ouguhghghghghghghghg #hell on earth #gillion voice i miss being singlemindedly devoted to something/one #its FINE im being dramatic.#fuckin. 8 years ago. that was fuckin 8 YEARS AGO. i should be FINE #i guarantee you she doesnt even think about me anymore. except i dont know whether that would be better or worse actually.

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unholyxvoid · 5 months ago

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god i could never follow other s/eep t*ken blogs

#half censoring the name so it doesnt show up if u search them up ofc #tried it once . never again #aside from like . some artists #but my mentally ill ass can Not handle seeing anybody else gushing over them #'im gonna bite him' no the fuck not lmao 'theyre so pretty' they sure are but youre staying 500 miles away from them <3 #thats my fucking band man those are my silly guys you dont get to breathe near them #i . have a problem . im very aware of it yes #block me abt it ig idc #v. post #x. eepies #v. vent

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todayisafridaynight · 1 year ago

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screaming crying yelling my prof being like 'have any of you written fictional stories before' as i have my messy breakup masadai fic open in another tab

#snap chats #//THROWS UP//#ITS THE WAY HE WAS LIKE 'oh can you talk about your process :) do the characters live in your head do you hear them'#and im just sitting here like absentmindedly talking like #'oh yeah i guess they do haha uh like whenever i write something 'they wouldnt do' i hear them say 'i wouldnt do that''#which is true whenever i go to write one of these fucks doing something and its not right i hear a bitch in my ear like #'i woudlnt fucking say that' like youre so right my queen im sorry let me reread the text fifty times to get it right #ITS HOW HE GOT SO ENTHUSIASTIC TOO LIKE 'oh my gosh really :00 isnt that so fun isnt that cool :DD'#if it werent for the fact i can perfectly hear will yun lee in my head at any given time then sure i guess #anyway my professor doesnt understand the depths of my mental illness but im glad fanfic writing has become relevant to my academic career

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bitegore · 5 months ago

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getting mental healthcare is really cool, its like asking someone to take a sledgehammer to your self-interest and then saying thank you after because it makes your life moderately easier even though you have to deal with this shit now

#red rambles #my psychiatrist wants to put me on anxiety medication to help me sleep because she thinks the issue with me sleeping and stuff is ptsd rela #related and I CANT REALLY ARGUE??? i dont think it is and as far as im concerned i dont feel anxiety at all but like I CANT REALLY ARGUE. i #keep thinking about it because to be completely honest this pisses me off more than i can express in words and ive been gnashing my teeth #about it all afternoon and like i dont think 'i have to play loud and abrasive music at night or else i jerk awake at every sound and can't #convince myself it was nothing and also have auditory hallucina #oh fuck. lmfao i forgot to mention that.#she was even talking about how auditory hallucinations are a lot more significant and i do just kind of have low grade auditory hallucinati #all the fucking time i just dont pay attention to them because i play music and ignore it. hashtag mentally healthy and sound #like im fine the last time i heard a coherent Voice telling me to coherent Do Things i was like 17 lmfao #but i sure do hear footsteps that aren't and breaking glass that isnt and indistinct human voice murmuring sounds that arent all the time #........ fucking i dont feel like emailing her to be like hi i forgot to mention this because i am so good at tuning it all out.#if its that big a deal it'll start mattering for realsies and if its not ill just let it lie until next appointment #ANYWAY THAT DOES KIND OF SOUND LIKE THE BEHAVIORS OF AN ANXIOUS PERSON. A LITTLE.#the jerking awake if there are noises and making up noises to jerk awake to bit. specifically #but also like it doesnt scare me it just makes me wake up and then i am awake and going 'what??? bhuh???' and then im mad im awake but #im not scared very often. it takes a lot. ignore that the last time i got significantly capital s scared was like two weeks ago i thought m #friend's house was on fire and they were about to go to sleep and die. thats a reasonable situation to be freaked out in #ANYWAY THIS PISSES ME OFF REALLY BAD. I DONT LIEK IT.

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tokagrem · 6 months ago

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Spiderverse genuinely ruined movies for me im never excited to go anymore because my brains like "its not spiderverse what is the point"

#toka talks #chat what level of mental illness is this #what a fucking masterpiece dude #i just realized its already been a year. since it came out. meaning its probably been a year. since i watched it.#it doesnt feel like that long ago at all waht in the fuck #i miss itttttt waaaaaaahhhhhh awwaaahhhhh #i miss miguel too #waht a fucking disaster of a guy. i need to beat him up and then wrap him in a blanket #wait CAN WE TALK ABOUT THE ALTERNATE SCENE THINGS. LIEK WHAT WAS WITH THAT #HELLO #im so sure that the first time i saw it didnt have that one shot from the bite scene cause im so sure my vampire-horny ass wouldve died in #the theater #anyway. and the whole thing is just visually stunning eye candy and funny and the cahracters are all lovable #IM OGING TO SCREAAMMMM

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unearthedheart · 6 months ago

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finally got the courage to get skye (my red wolf plushie from my bueatiful friend skye. from my phone) out of my car and he smells so much like her im gonna die

#her being katie not person skye lol😭#i just wanna cry and cry and cry and #im also on my cycle this week so everything is. worse for sure #shes the only one i wanna talk to and she. doesnt feel the same #dude whos totally normal and not on the edge voice #ash is mentally ill #kicked dog

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biolums · 2 years ago

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#have been so down lately and just thought about subnautica. specifically peepers and got happy :)#something something little thingsin life #ive told myself i will visit my grandma today. will report back if that happens #trying to be easy on myself while also not doing something ill regret is hard #i am. so not ready to see my grandma. im mentally so not there and ive been so shakey mentally for months and i just. idk #it would be easier on me if i didnt see her. but im not sure thats fair to my future self let alone my grandma herself #i just. i dont know. i hate being in survival mode like who fucking doesnt want to see their grandma when shes dying. whar the fuck #fun fact i get an anxiety attack everytime i receive text messages now because im convinced its my dad telling me she died #its. probably a good thing i have a psychiastrist appointment tomorrow #anyways. hi #im just. popping in idk if i will like. come back #lifw rn is. so much #im literally driving 10hrs in less than a week from now

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lovelyrotter · 8 months ago

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yknow that feeling when a single attempted light n friendly conversation with your sibling is so completely onesided bc that sibling so thouroughly looks down on you that youre barely a person in their eyes? yeah that shits seriously mood ruining

#my t #i gotta learn to stop trying with her #just because shes 5 yrs younger doesnt mean im responsible for her anything like #jesus we have the abused eldest sibling guilt *bad*#but she wrote us off as soon as she turned 18 #like you spoiled little shit just bc you could afford to go to college and live like youre from pinterest #some of us have CPTSD and no savings bc *you* wanted ur pinterest life karen jr #basically she believes that people who portray any kind of symptom of mental illness isnt worth her air. shes deeply ableist #and she got it all from her best buddy our mother. theyre pretty much the same person its fucked #and its really funny to me bc im pretty sure we all have NPD #like both of my siblings plus my mother and us. only our dad is saved but he has crippling anxiety that runs in his own family #but im the only one whos doing any kind of work on that at any given moment #thus in a way fueling our NPD in a more constructive way bc we really ARE better than them (as people) LMAO #of the mind that everyone deserves a little bit of the lesser known constructive-competitive flavour of narcissism to trick themselves into #becoming better people hahaha #okay i feel better now

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