#but my god i am so anxious | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

sketchy-galaxy · 6 months

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#starrtalks #im a lil better at talking in the tags #and i cant post like a haha funny meme in the post #but my god i am so anxious #i have a bunch! of like internship apps to do #and its all so hard to think about right now #but theyre all due in like a month!#and i need to do at least one! as an undergrad and get that experience #so its really hard to fill them out right now because #i dont know myself very well outside of academics #like im a smart student im a good student and i am smart #but not i dont have much experience in what is being asked + very poor essay writing skills ya know #and it sucks too cause this is a very type A major and i am very Type B (competitive vs relaxed)#and REFERENCES #i dont have ANY references and im so afraid to ask for them its so so bad #im just struggling #i want to get better but its really hard :(

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bamsara · 2 months

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I wish I could talk about my AU stuff without feeling like I'm being annoying like people will directly say to me 'tell me about this au thing!' and my brain will actively be like 'they are asking to be polite and you are already taking up too much space as it is, SILENCE'

#late night thoughts #sara shush #both in a perpetual state of 'this is MY blog and i get to post what i want'#but i am god awful anxious about talking about my interests with people one on one or in discord servers and thats why im so absent in them #something something being nuts on my blog doesnt feel like im shoving my words directly into someones face like 1v1 conversations do

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napping-sapphic · 6 months

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Honestly so good that I’m too shy to talk to people because I’m like 80% sure my impulsive ass would just ask strangers if they wanted to try to fall in love just to see if we could

#wlw #wlw mood #sapphic #sapphism #lesbian #i spend SO much time wondering if i could actually fall in love with people if i deliberately tried to #because tbh sometimes i think i could #and i just don’t like how complicated it all is #like sometimes i just wanna go hey lets just date and see what happens #skip all the rest of it #but you gotta keep safety first for one #and also i think most people Do Not Want To Do That #idk it’s 4 am #and i feel absolutely AWFUL #and SO antsy right now oh my god #i hate being simultaneously antsy anxious AND tired at once it feels so nasty #so i don’t really know if the tags make sense #the post should i drafted it a while ago #but was like maybe that’s weird and didn’t post it #BUT i keep feeling it soooo #here you go #sorry it’s 4 am im a mess #ignore me #and my tags #idk what i said pls take it as nonsense <3 #im gay and i like sleeping

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moondvncer · 2 months

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#thank goodness and I repeat thank goodness I have the habit to carry anxiety meds with me #because I swear to god my ex's mom came in the shop just to be annoying #like 'we welcomed you in our family you would have been such a nice wife for him'#and like madam I left him 4 years ago HELLOOOOOO #and not to mention she also said that she can't believe I talked so much shir about him #'we were ready to welcome you in our family despite your situation'#and like is2g that made me laugh because bestie I literally almost got murdered by your soft boy #I had to go to the police AND the hospital to get myself checked bc I couldn't breathe well for a week straight #she walked away like she owned the place and I swear I am still so anxious and I think I'll have to face my whole day with my hands shaking #'you'd be such a nice wife for him' lol my mom was right when she said that not just him considered me the trophy girlfriend but his mom too #I wanna go home besties but the day is still so long....

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anglerflsh · 9 months

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ooooh in god if I have to see that "Autism on TV/Autism in real life" post one more time. Someone here is going to have their feelings hurt and then argued about only with logic and it won't be me

#[.txt]#'autism isnt about misunderstanding emotional topics or social cues and coming across as mean on accident because of said misunderstanding!'#'its about being so sad and so anxious and never ever hurting someone's feelings on accident' shut the fuck up oh my god shut the FUCK up.#im TIRED of this I really am #complaining tag

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katsy-kitty · 13 days

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Can anybody fill me in on what happened during last week's panel? Any video or highlights? I just got back from a 2-week tumblr hiatus (not sure if I'm "back" tbh).

Or if there's anything else that happened during that time in the fandom and you want to share – I'm all ears.

(Or eyes...? Because I'm going to read it. On a screen. I'M ALL EYES. Which is a bit creepy.)

Posting a bracelet I recently made for attention

(but I want to show it to a friend and I don't want her to know my tumblr name so I hope she doesn't see it lol but you gotta live your life with a little risk in it right RIGHT)

btw I just learned a lot about this week's panel thanks to @folie-a-deux YOU'RE GREAT THANK YOU SO MUCH I've been giggling like a little girl reading your posts about the panel <3333333

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yanderespamton78 · 2 months

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the current state of the arg

sorry guys the art isnt arting D:

(btw if youre confused on why i drew turnip like that i was referencing the picrew he did ages ago bc idk it looked fun to draw anddd i dont like taking reference off real life images)

#i felt like just a lillll bit of a creep relistening to voice messages over and over to find a good quote but. yk what. it was worth it #i totally didnt take reference from the really cool face i used in that animation because im still really proud of it #idk if emi or TD have a sona but if they do im not aware of it and i didnt feel like asking so i just drew both of them as blank characters #im too stressed to scheme lol #maybe #just maybe #i need to stop drinking tea because the caffiene makes me anxious #...#naaaaahhhh #i dont really know what to do with myself atm because i dont want to work on the animation unless turnon is ok out of pure spite #this morning i was absolutely radiating stress #i have a friend who shows up so we can walk together to school and she could tell smth was off lol #i literally could not hide it at all even if i wanted too #i kept pulling my hat over my face thats the main way you can tell that im stressed #not that it really matters that you know that bc none of you are ever gonna witness that but. fun fact abt me ig #ugh #if turnon dies i am gonna cry so hard <333 #and i wont finish the animation <333333333 #(at this point just trying anything to get turnon back)#im gonna make a word doc #i make word docs when im stressed /hj #quick question turnip : is there a way to get turnon out of the situation he is in or is he just gonna die and theres nothing we can do #about it /gen #because i have a sneaky suspicion that we cant actually do anything about this #i swear to god #LETS LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE!!#A DEFRAG MIGHT COME OUT TMR!!#its been 21 days and a defrag takes on average 20-25 days #ough #turnip and addon im gonna find where you live and i will burn your respective houses down

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galaxywarp · 7 months

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Now for the hardest part of the day …….. trying to relax

#weed helps #I did a good job today. I did everything I wanted and needed and more #I have no reason to feel anxious. I have no reason to feel guilty #I have done nothing wrong. I am not doing anything wrong by relaxing #my only job right now is to relax and go to bed in a few hours #……..oh god this is always so HARD.

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dont-offend-the-bees · 2 months

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Not to continue my recent trend of oversharing on tumblr dot com, but I am very much struggling not to feel like I'm doing everything in my entire life wrong at present

#normal things to think after your doctor tells you you need to get a blood test re-taken bc you mistimed your dose #I'm just. I'm tired man.#I've been putting off a phone call for two months #i spend every day lately torn between do I need to go to hospital or am I just unfit and anxious #I rot and decay when left alone but also people are Too Much #I want to Create but I can't get started and when I do I'm just so disappointed with whatever I make #I'm exhausted but I'm awake at 4am bc if i go to sleep tomorrow will start and I'll have to do this all again #and I need so fucking badly for someone to just crush me so hard in a really long hug until my bones realign #and i need to find past me shake her by the shoulders and yell “you're fine! you'll be fine! cut your hair! eat your greens!#take up swimming and also some new pronouns! no one else will respect em but they're for YOU and so is the health stuff #please for the love of fucking god just look after yourself better than i did!“#there's toooooo many fuckin holes in this sinking ship #I need a full body MOT and then to be cradled against the chest of a large gentle man for 12-36 hours #mr. bees speaks

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gideonisms · 1 year

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See I think if I'd been born a guy I wouldn't be this pathologically avoidant trying to plan my career because there are plenty of situations you can find as a cis man where you just Do Tasks in awkward silence and you can get to those as a woman but you have to go through the rings of hell socializing first and then besides, a lot of those jobs already have so many men that you stand out when the whole point was you Don't want to do that

#you gotta be god's strongest soldier to survive this shit and i am not! i am god's weakest most pathetic soldier!#i survived five years of customer service crying weekly and getting harassed and being a baby about it #when i got promoted no one would listen to me and it made me constantly anxious and then so tired it took me a year to be able to #think about having a job as something remotely positive and stop crying about it #idk how other women are doing this shit a guy treats me like his sexy servant and i feel BAD and upset for years #and think of what he said 7 years later and they only touched me on the shoulder and made comments other people go through worse!#but i am not strong or determined i just want to go through my life in peace and stop talking to people altogether #it wasn't just guys who treated me badly older women made fun of me and called me lazy and stupid #tutoring was fine but i felt like i was putting on that same performance and at that point it all felt so awful i just. didn't want to #i can see no way out of talking to people for the rest of my life and it gets me down sometimes #i know i get to come home but even then i will probably need people to live with #i basically only like my family and close friends talking to me sometimes even that is hard #sometimes it's way easier to type and feels less awful #i think i have to just keep on keeping on until i can finally get good enough to freelance edit and code that's the only thing i can think #of doing that doesn't make me cry #emails are fine they suck but i don't have to control my face and tone so.

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crimeronan · 7 months

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i used to not relate at all to the existential dread that's sorta ubiquitous for a lot people my age, which is mostly bc i've been dying for three-ish years, so i had fully made my peace with my life being over soon. like i was in a mindset a lot of people enter in hospice care where my body was winding down and i was just getting as comfortable as possible and being content with the life i'd already lived.

however.

now. that it looks like i could not only have, but also Enjoy... another 50 or 60 years on this earth.....

......HOOOOOOOOOOO BOY.

#GOOD GOD A LOT IS GOING TO HAPPEN WITHIN THE NEXT 60 YEARS.#I KNOW NOT TO BORROW GRIEF FROM THE FUTURE BUT LIKE #I DIDNT EXPECT TO DEAL WITH ANY OF IT AT ALL. I WAS NOT GONNA *BE HERE*#literally every night for the past week i've lain awake with my heartbeat in my throat just thinking #I Am Going To Be Here . For So Much Shit #Oh God. Oh God . So Much #and i CAN'T SLEEP #this post brought to you by an hour and a half of me trying to sleep and now being exhausted and still So Anxious #like. CHILL. GIRL. IT'S FINE #YOU CANT DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT!! PROBLEM FOR FUTURE YOU!! SHUT THE FUCK UP!! OH ! MY ! GOD !!!!#autoimmune tag

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minhmynchi · 22 days

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man i wanna ramble about my fic to someone so much

into the tags i go

#minhmy rambles #I SAY THIS BC..... there are so many things im planning and writing and im always constantly second guessing myself and i am too much of #a coward to actually say something in the discord like asking for feedback or anything and god forbid i ask for it in the a/n of the fic #and like i have my best friend who loves the fic and i have them proofread it but they hadn't rly known the game much outside of Me #and they're currently going thru the game and its a fun fun fun time but also #bc theyre my best friend and supports me no matter what im like. but what if. the way i write is so ooc and you don't know it #even if ur going thru the game rn and still saying its in character and not ooc at all what if ur just biased to me and my fic and #see im a huge overthinker i am so anxious and insecure about everything and thats why loop and sif are like that in my fic which is why #its OOC...... ITS NOT!!!!! ITS NOT ACCURATE THERES NO WAY........#anyways . i love my friend very much but i would also love to have more ppl to talk about my fic with but also. i never shut up #and if i do its bc im overthinking interactions #so like if anyone. wants to talk to me about my fic 👉👈 pls hmu im probably never gonna make another post like this ever again #the horrifying ordeal of being known #it strikes again #if you also want to talk about isat too thats fine i like talking about isat a whole lot #i might even give spoilers for my fic or i might not #might just ask a bunch of questions like “does this make sense does this make sense does this make sense”#ANYWAYS. .. y'kno. yeha #aoyany fic talk

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jellogram · 21 days

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Obviously I am fully in support of the TTC employees but also if this strike happens and I cannot get to my rental car on time I will be losing out on an uncancellable trip which will cost me hundreds of dollars and mean I miss Orville Peck 🥲 so I'm not saying I know where the TTC overlords live but if they don't give into these demands by tomorrow morning I am going to kill them (proverbially)

#i was already so anxious about this trip i do not need this #those workers are the backbone of this city can you just fucking. give them what they want so we can all do our shit #this is the ONE day during my entire stay here where I am seriously depending on the TTC #thank god I didn't spend work money on this I'd be in serious trouble #if they don't have a deal by the time I go to bed I'm pre-booking an uber or smth so I don't have to fight with everyone in the morning #it's so expensive though 😳#but better than losing all my money

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matchandelure · 2 months

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binge read all of kaiju no 8 a couple days ago :::) and im all caught up w the anime now too i am hooked holy