#but also i hate when people try to show concern about my weight

[femaleconartist]

My body will be like *takes 6 months to gain 1 kg* *loses it in 2 days*

[evergumi]

M. FUSHIGURO ⋆ when words fail.

pairing ⋆ bf!megumi fushiguro x reader

summary ⋆ reader is feeling overwhelmed and bf gumi comes to them to comfort like the amazing bf he is <33

warnings ⋆ fluff, sliiiiight angst if you squint (it wouldnt even be called angst), sad reader, megumi loves them but shows it in his own special way !

wc ⋆ 0.7k words

a/n ⋆ awww the cuties ! i love gumi sm omg my adorable boyfieee, anyways enjoy ! i lowkey dont like this buttt :((

you couldn’t pinpoint exactly what had drained you—maybe it was the mission gone wrong, the constant tension, or just the weight of everything pressing down on you. all you knew was that your chest felt heavy, and you couldn’t shake the dull ache that settled deep in your bones.

you walked into the dorm, hoping for a few moments of peace, but as soon as you closed the door behind you, the silence felt suffocating. the soft thud of your shoes hitting the floor echoed too loudly, and your gaze lingered on the messy space around you. it had been a long time since you'd felt like this—numb, hollow, as though no matter how many times you exhaled, you couldn’t breathe deeply enough. unlocking the door to your room, your eyes heavy with exhaustion, you shuffled over to your bed. god, this feeling. it was so heavy it hurt. it weighed on your shoulders like the sky itself had decided to settle there. letting out a deep, shaky sigh, you flopped back onto your bed…

bad idea.

now, as you lay there, it felt as though you were lying directly on the weight you were carrying—sharp, heavy, painful… overwhelming. you just wanted to sleep and forget about it all. squeezing your eyes shut, you brought a hand to your face and dragged it down your features, the stress evident in every line. anything to get rid of the gnawing ache.

your phone buzzed.

with a soft groan, you lazily draped your hand over your eyes and blindly reached for your phone. when your fingers brushed against the white case adorned with a small black cat (the one your beloved boyfriend had given you), you brought it up to your face, squinting at the sudden bright light. and then, a soft, gentle smile spread across your lips. it was megumi… you had been waiting for him. unlocking your phone, you tapped on his name.

megumi: how was the mission?

you sighed, running a hand down your face again, and typed a quick response.

y/n: it was terrible, gumi. miss you so much.

before you could set your phone down, it buzzed again, the shrill ping echoing through your dorm room and making your growing headache worse.

megumi: be there in a sec.

your eyes widened.

y/n: wait--

before you could send another message, trying to stop him from coming all the way over, the door to your dorm creaked open.

“y/n?” megumi’s low, familiar voice called from the doorway, tinged with softness only for you. “where are you?”

the soft glow of moonlight filtered through the curtains, highlighting megumi’s features as he stepped inside. his gaze softened when it landed on you, and his lips parted in concern. he was holding a plastic bag by the handles, the straps dangling from his calloused fingers as he stepped closer.

“you’re not alright,” he said, his voice gentle but sure. you liked that about him. most people would’ve asked “are you alright?”—a question that would’ve only frustrated you more. but megumi didn’t need to ask. he could see through the walls you built around yourself.

he sat at the edge of your bed, his soft, spiky hair catching the moonlight, making him look almost ethereal. without looking at you, he pulled a stuffed bunny from the plastic bag and handed it to you.

“you left this at my dorm,” he muttered, avoiding your gaze. you knew he hated the idea of your stuffed animals receiving more of your attention than he did, but he also knew how much they meant to you. that’s why he’d brought it back.

you took the bunny from him, hugging it to your chest, almost like you were holding megumi himself (not that he needed to know that). “thank you, ‘gumi,” you whispered, looking up at him.

he avoided your gaze, a blush creeping up his neck. he knew what you were asking through your gaze, even if you hadn’t said it.

“fine,” he muttered. “but only because you’ve had a long day.” with a small, pained smile, you shuffled over on the bed to make room for him. megumi kicked off his hello kitty socks (something only you knew about) and climbed into your soft, pale pink sheets.

without missing a beat, he slid his arm around your shoulders, pulling you into him. you rested your head on his toned chest, feeling the tension in your body slowly melt away.

he could do this for you. he could make everything feel a little lighter. “thank you,” you whispered sleepily, your eyes fluttering shut. “thank you for coming to me.”

megumi hummed in response, pulling you closer. you nestled your head into his favourite spot—the crook of his neck, the place that always felt warm even when it had no business being so. his scent was there, in that one spot; always stronger than other parts of his body, forever comforting.

after a while, he spoke up, his deep voice reverbrating through your relaxed body.

“you’re welcome,” he murmured softly into your hair, his fingers tracing circles on your shoulder when he thought you’d fallen asleep. “sleep, y/n. i’ll be here when you wake up. i always will.” he pressed a soft kiss to your temple, a gesture so small but full of so much meaning.

you just hoped he didn’t feel the smile tugging at your lips as you drifted off, content in his arms.

a/n ⋆ lowkey giggling omg ?? i hc him to wear the most adorable socks ever and only y/n knows... like he def accidentally forgot to wear 'cool' socks one day when u guys were hanging out after you first started dating ahhh !

thank you for reading, ily ! lmk if you wanna be tagged and remember, reqs are always open loves !

© evergumi

[redvexillum]

PSA: Hate Message/Bullying

This will be my last message regarding the negative messages I’ve been receiving. To the person or group responsible, you’ve crossed a line. While this message is directed at you, it's also meant for others in the Hazbin Hotel community who may be experiencing similar negativity and feel isolated.

Please remember, you are not alone.

CW/TW: inflammatory language, suicide, death threat, provocative language

Annonie, when I woke up this morning to over 20+ messages, I felt confused. As I started reading through all the hate, I found myself wondering, "What did I do to trigger this?" But then I stopped and realized—it’s not me. It’s YOU.

For a moment, I thought about quitting. I honestly considered giving up writing here because it didn’t feel worth the constant barrage of negativity, especially when I’m already juggling so much stress in my real life. But there's something stubborn in me—a part that refuses to back down, even when faced with such blatant, childish hate. Maybe it's my age, or just my nature, but I found myself trying to understand you.

I want to tell you to stop before it goes too far.

Words have power. Have you ever been taught that?

I don’t know if you write stories yourself, but if you do, you know how words can evoke so many emotions—joy, comfort, sorrow—giving someone an escape or a friend in the pages. But words can also destroy. They can crush dreams, steal hope, and even push someone to the edge.

I lost a friend to online bullying. One of my closest people was taken away because of hate-filled words from a stranger. Do you understand the weight of that? They were a lover, a friend, a family member, and in a single moment of hatred, that person lost their future. Someone’s thoughtless words robbed them of happiness, of possibility.

You see, while I can take your hate, I worry about the others in this community who might not. I’m more concerned about the impact you might be having on someone else who’s already struggling.

It only takes one bad day to ruin someone’s life. And isn’t that just heartbreaking?

I’m not asking you to be a hero or a saint.

I’m asking you to be a human being—to show some compassion.

[thatsmybook]

A few times, I've heard Lisa and Rojda talk about how Young Royals is about the class system and a queer Prince, but also, it's relatable because not only do the cast look like teenagers, they act like teenagers in today's world. So it's also a show about teenagers. With that in mind, I'd like to talk about Simon Eriksson, working class, immigrant, and mixed race student at Hillerska, falling in love with the Prince.

Simon, in S1, deliberately kept any problems about Sara and his life at Hillerska hidden from his mum because he did not want to burden her. He lied to reassure her when she'd get worried about Sara and equally made decisions to help Sara's wellbeing at school. It seemed that he was taking care of his mum and sister when his dad left and after the abusive relationship that seemed to have really affected the whole family. This is why he doesn't share anything bad that he's going through with his mum. He's trying to protect her. He always has.

As to the comments he is getting. I think he is reading them because often they concern his family and are from the people in their town. That, along with the phone calls at night and hate-mail mentioned by Linda at the court hearing in S3 ep1, this means that he's on hyper-vigilance about threats to him and his family. So, my theory is that he is monitoring his comments and engaging to try to defuse things. But just like in all 3 seasons, his actions often lead to more problems.

This is a 16 year old kid, the youngest in his family, doing things an adult should be doing. This is very relatable for many working-class single parent families. Something to add about first-generation kids of immigrant families, having an extra layer of working to help the family navigate the country and society they're in.

Also, as to the comments, there have been many real life incidents, unfortunately , of teenagers getting hate comments online from their peers and bullied to the point of taking their own lives. Simply telling them not to read the comments may not have worked for them. (Yet so many reactors to this season think it's that simple).

Simon is getting a volumous amount of hate comments, which started right after the sex video was released in S1. At that point, the comments were in the print media.

He needs actual support, less obliviousness from the adults in his life about what is happening to him (that includes the Royal Court), and understanding about the actual effect of comments on his mental health from everyone around him. He is a victim of actual hate, and when I hear about any child going through that kind of regular abuse, my heart goes out to them.

Seeing how supportive Simon's dad could be in this 3rd season in his conversations with Sara, we can see how much Simon actually misses his dad. Because had he had a relationship with him, without the baggage of Sara's need for distance, he would have probably noticed that Simme needed help and been quite good at it, when he could manage it.

However, we as the audience seem to be blinded by Wille's more important problems, partly because the show is largely from his POV, but also because his pressures seem bigger. As a result, I've seen fans come down on Simon for not putting his life's woes in perspective to support Wille more. We start to see big cracks in their relationship and start to feel that they just won't work out.

But, they're also just kids in their first relationship. Miscommunication is completely normal at that age. They've only just been spending actual time with each other this season and getting to know each other. Yet they are dealing with adult problems, and so many of us fans are shouting at the screen - talk to each other! I feel like, if I were one of them, there is so much weight on me that I'd be too scared to open the floodgates and actually tell my boyfriend what's happening because I don't want to scare him. And no wonder they spend most of their time making out. It's the easiest part of their relationship and what gives them actual joy at the moment.

So I give grace to these characters and kudos to the creators of the show, for showing ACTUAL teenagers dealing with real life problems, amplified for drama because of the dichotomy of being a Prince and a commoner. But, I don't judge ANY of the characters when I apply the same analysis I've given here to Simon to all the other four characters. What this show requires of us adults is empathy for their plight and maybe a closer look at the teenagers in our lives. What it does for the teen audience is show them that they're not alone when they mess up or are dealing with life pressures. We as a society won't judge them. We will work to understand them and share their burdens.

[caligvlasaqvarivm]

Can I ask for your reasoning behind the Jake and Vriska pairing? This isn't out of hate or anything i am just very curious

3/4 of the alpha kids are IMMEDIATELY introduced with "btw, here's the dead troll you're supposed to date".

Your name is ROXY. God DAMN do you love WIZARDS. (Editor's Note: also Princes. A Prince who is also a wizard? Holy shit.)

So he made a couple of coy recommendations for objects of your attraction, and you have hung his COBALT BEEFCAKES here since. He was pretty spot on with the blue Funke, to be honest, since that's like the best show ever. Mr. Cross can blue himself any time, as far as you are concerned. [...] There is also your magnificent SWANSON. Ron Swanson is the PERFECT MAN.

And Jake's is the most blatant, in my opinion:

But who needs chums, when you can enjoy a top notch gander of your GALS OF CERULEAN COMPLEXION, HUBBA HUBBA. You are oft-times the recipient of a good ribbing from Jane on account of your peculiar fascination with blue movie ladies. You don't have to justify yourself to her though. What is even her deal? Any fella would be off his ROCKER not to fawn over all these BODACIOUS BLUE KNOCKOUTS. You want to make out with all of them. Dear, sweet Neytiri from James Cameron's Avatar. Oh, if only you were the one who could have overcome his paralysis on an alien adventure planet to become her boyfriend, instead of that other guy. Then she could have shown you how to be bold and courageous, and stand up to fight for your people, and maybe later, engage in a bizarre extraterrestrial reproductive process involving ponytails, and a magical tree you guess?

So for those keeping score, Roxy and Eridan, Jane and Equius (moment of silence), and Jake and Vriska. It's further proven by how stunningly hot he finds Aranea, who is a dead ringer for Vriska, and further supported by the fact that Jake is very much Vriska's type - she has a weird red, vascillatory thing for Tavros, and briefly dates John. Tavros is a Page, and John shares many genetic personality similarities with Jake, his ecto-grandpa. Honestly, if I were to distill down Vriska's taste in guys into one single person, it would just be Jake.

And yeah, I know that he and Vriska basically have nothing going on between them post-retcon, but I only consider everything after Game Over to be soft canon anyway, since by that point it's clear that Hussie has no intention of finishing Homestuck the way it was originally intended to end (there are way too many dangling plot threads, many of the choices - especially revolving around Vriska - seem genuinely aimed to make as much of the fandom upset as possible, and the tone and themes swerve wildly from their original trajectories in a way that feels rushed and incongruous). Pre-Retcon, the comic is gunning HARD for red Vriska/Jake endgame, and I put more weight on that than post-retcon's weird personality-regressed Vriska.

So I am specifically talking about post-character-development Vriska and Jake - Vriska who's had her feelings jams with John, proper apology and reconciliation with Aradia, Sollux, and Tavros, and is in a stable moirallegiance - Vriska who no longer feels the need to be such a massive bitch all the time and isn't trying to solo the game and steal the spotlight. Vriska at her best would probably be really healthy for him - Jake clearly enjoys a challenge much more than Tavros (though not enough to work well with Dirk), and Vriska clearly has a thing for goofy little failboys. It's not gay but not everything can be a W for us fujos, sadly.

[bluepotion85]

Expanding Bootcamp - Chapter 3 (Male Wg Story)

Summary: After Salazar’s food competitions began, more people started to join for the overindulgence. Will and his friends hope to stay out of it for the most part. But when the cadets start to entice others to join actively, the situation starts to raise questions. Is Will and his friends capable of staying out of the competitions or some of them will fall to their cravings?

(The following is a male weight gain fic. This is for the most part a slow burn deal)

The next day Connor and I get to the chow hall for lunch, and we share tables with the twins. We see that the eating competitions of Salazar take a different turn for lunches. They will be more tame, revisiting Salazar’s tasting idea. Mixing and mashing with the different food in the cafeteria, meats with different sauces and sides trying to impress one another, trying to be modest so they can go to town with dinner.

At the beginning it's just a little game between them and nobody minds, but at some point, people started to stand up and try to solve disputes with people outside their group.

They will come to your table and ask you to try this? and what do you think of that?

After rejecting an offer from another cadet Jones burst

“God, can't they keep their mess to their own group? this is getting tiring!”

“I know what you mean” -says Carlos behind him.

He is coming with his tray in hand hoping to sit with us, besides him is Hill with his tray as well. Once we are all together Carlos tries to explain an idea.

“I know that Salazar and his friends are just trying to be playful and bond, but I just want to have my meals in peace. I'm hoping that if we sit together and reject their offers they will eventually stop”

I don't tend to share meals with so many people but for the sake of keeping the food reviewers at bay I'm willing to try, I look at Connor ready to ask for his opinion and he just nods with a smile in my direction.

“I like the sound of that, it's tiring enough to deal with Carlos to also have Neil as a shadow offering treats” -adds Hill.

“Oh come on Hill, you know you love my company”-Carlos adds trying to reach out for a hug knowing Hill hates them.

“Remember I catched you on today’s run. So, no hugs”-he replies right away.

Carlos recoils like a spring and continues to eat.

the twins laugh at the display and Daniel says “Well at least we will have something less to worry about, I don't know you but I'm a bit troubled with how things are developing around here”

“True, at least it was fun when we were the loudest pair here. But with the food competitions unless we say goodbye to our abs, there is no way to tag along. -says Jones

“Is that your worry?”-Daniel bites back.

“Sure, if we lose the abs, how are we going to score?” -Jones says as if making the most obvious question in the world.

The twins have this issue of not managing to get a partner . . . ever. It could be because they boast of their looks, the fact that they are never apart from one another for more than a second or that they get jealous as soon as one gets a date and the other doesn't. But regardless, part of the reason they stay in top physique is due to their desire to find love.

“If that's your biggest concern then why not try and score with one of the guys in Salaza’s table, they seem more than friendly?” -Hill asks with the same monotone voice, making it hard to distinguished if he is joking or being serious on the matter

“Of course not, have you seen them eat? they wouldn't appreciate these gains” -Jones adds while flexing his arm.

“I could appreciate it” -says Neil behind him.

While we talked, he got closer to ask for our opinion on a dish and listened to some of our conversation. When we turned around to see him, he winked at Jones, ate a piece of chicken tender from his plate and walked back to his table. He was going back to his table with a swing to his walk, almost as if showing off his now slightly plumper hips.

Daniel was holding his laughter not for Neil but for Jones that looked as red as a tomato.

The next morning, I woke up early to workout with Connor. As we talked on the way there, not really looking where I’m going, I ended up crashing against something soft. It was Salazar, he was talking with Bradley in the Hallway.

He looks like he has grown more since the last time we talked, his belly growing to eclipse most of my view, his legs like tree trunks, his arms pressing against his side accentuating the start of moobs and his face looking rounder from the extra fat. We knew he was growing but up close its outstanding and it's no wonder with his track record. From all the cheers and shouts we hear at meals he seems to be winning every food challenge. They both keep their muscular bodies, Bradley more than Salazar at least. But for the amount of weight Bradley was carrying, he is looking less like a quarterback and more like an off-season linebacker.

“Im sorry Sal, I wasn't watching”

“No problem Will, you would need to do force to harm me with your size haha”

“Yeah I guess so haha, hey we are going to the gym. Do you guys want to tag along?”

He looked at Bradley for a second and replied with a disinterested shrug “Not really, we were just heading to the chow hall. they have cinnamon rolls if you are the first to get there and we need to keep the bulk going”

I shouldn't try to get involved in the situation, but I get worried for Salazar and Bradley and let my tongue get the best of me.

“I don't want to get in the way, but don't you think you should be cutting a bit now?”

He looks puzzled as if not understanding the comment and then he starts to laugh.

“Oh no Will, of course not. Its ok for you to ask, in my height is hard to build muscle without a strong base so all of this is necessary” -he adds slapping his belly that jiggles for a second before stopping.

“I get that . . . but with the food competitions and all, aren't you afraid of going too far?” -Connor replies

Salazar took a second and for a moment I was afraid of touching a nerve. But he smiles and with his chubby face his face radiates confidence.

“I know what you both mean but soon enough you will see how this gets results, and who knows maybe you will come ask for advice”

With that Bradley and Salazar walk away towards the chow hall and Connor and I just come to terms more with the fact that there is no dialogue to convince them to stop what's in motion.

That day after finishing our assignments I got a stomachache. It could be something I ate that didn't mix well with me. So, I decided to go to the infirmary for some medicine. Once inside I walk to this office at the other end of the building. I knock on the door, and he calls me to get in. I notice Doctor Donovan seems to have gained some weight. His cheeks look a bit puffier, and a bigger belly is pushing against his medical robe. Apparently even those not eating in the chow hall can indulge.

I explain my symptoms and he tell me to sit down while he looks for a quick remedy.

I ask if it's better to move to a cubicle.

“Oh there is no need, unless you are unable to stand on your own, I can evaluate you in my office. Just don't faint now haha”

While he looks for the medicine in his supplies, I see his pants struggling a bit as he bends over for a cabinet. Trying to cover the awkward silence I look for something to talk about. And my curiosity gets the best of me.

“So, why haven't you been eating with us lately? afraid of getting a stomachache as well? haha”

He retrieved the medicine and as he stands upright, we both hear a little rip. He blushed a bit, maybe concerned with the source of the sound, or my comment that reminds him of his growing middle and I’m immediately regretting the question realizing the connotation.

I was ready to be reprimanded for asking on a matter that's none of my business, but instead he says that he’s been helping the commander with some assignments of his own, so they both eat in the main hall for most meals.

“Not that I wouldn't like to eat with you all guys, the last time we were at the chow hall it was pretty lively”

“Yeah they are having their own fun at meals”

While we talk I see a file archive half open behind the doctor. He took my medical summary from it and I don't think too much about it, but I wonder what the files say about us at base.

Another couple of days pass and things around the base stay the same. Easy work, lots of free time and since the eating challenges continue, lots of food.

After Salazar managed to entertain the team with the eating competitions, more people joined him to try a shot at the challenge.

During lunch Carlos, Hill and I are waiting for the others at a table and Neil approaches.

“Oh Will you have to try this idea we had” -one of them tells me while

I see the half-eaten plate that so many of them have already tried and replied.

“Ah no thanks, I’m kind of full now hehe.”

He shrugs and offers some to Carlos.

“No thanks I'm fine” -he replies but after focusing on the plate he stops Neil before he leaves.

“Wait, is that sweet corn?”

“Yes, it’s new, it’s so good you have to try it out.”

Carlos gets closer to the plate and gets a spoonful of the mush, and moans at the test. He looks at me and acts naturally.

“Ahem yeah it's pretty good, thanks.”

While Carlos tries the food Connor and the twins arrive, they see the whole thing.

Neil looks excited and raises his voice so the rest of his table can hear “See they love my plate, put another point to me.”

I cross looks with Connor that suits down at the table and is as puzzled as me at how serious these people take their game.

Before Neil gets back to his table, he looks at the twins and says “Hi Jones. Maybe we could hang out again, later today if you are free”

Jones starts to change colors not knowing what to say, “Sure no problem, as long as I can bring along these bad boys” - he says and flexes his arm.

We all cringe at the sight of Jones' miserable attempt to be a human. Those two really do not know what to do when someone tries to flirt with them, but Jones takes the cake.

Neil laughs it off and goes back to his table.

Once we were all together Daniel said “What is that about? I thought you said you were not into Neil, and what does he mean about, Again?”

Then he looks at Carlos and adds

“And we said not agreeing to their food, otherwise they won't stop!”

Hill looks at Carlos and says “Its true Carlos you have stabbed us all in the back and the only solution is execution by firing squad, I’ll look for the materials on the storage unit”

Daniel glares at Hill for mocking his concern and Carlos interjects “I know, I'm sorry guys it won't happen again. . . well unless Neil gets invested in you Jones”

We all look at Jones waiting for a reply and he signs “Ok here is the thing, I had a little crush on Neil when we joined the team. He is my type ok, and even with the extra weight he looks cute”

Nobody says anything to object to the matter. Daniel looks at him with an expression that can only mean, keep going and so he does.

“So yeah, the day he tried to bring us food. He approached me afterwards to hang out in the recreation room”

Daniel looks puzzled and Jones adds “The day I got assigned the watchtower and you were patrolling, I kind dof left my post to hang out with him”  

“Jones you could have gotten in trouble just to hang out with Neil, you could have done that at any other time!” -Daniel adds exasperated.

“I know but he was really nice, I had fun and nothing happened. So no big deal”

We look at him, nobody commenting against the notion. Connor looks about ready to add something but refrains from it.

“And maybe I will go and spend some time with him again today!” -he continues to eat, and we let the matter end there.

I could see a worried look on Daniel's face, but we continued our meal and got back to work.

The next day while I do my assignments, I catch Jones and Neil on what could only be described as a date, or as much of a date you can have in a military base. They were sitting in the field with some food, Jones talking nonstop and Neil rubbing his arms. They seem to have fun and I move on.

The week passes by and the changes continue, people have started to go with their shirt’s outs, food stains have plagued some uniforms and during nights people have started to snore or mumble in their sleep.

One night Salazar woke up and left the barracks. He kicked my bed by accident on his way out and woke me up by accident. He didn't notice I was awake, so he just left the room for good. Trying to go back to sleep I felt my throat dry up. So I standed up to take some water from my bottle, and realized it was empty. Walking to the chow hall to fill up the bottle I see Salazar is already inside. He was having a midnight snack, or meal for the size of it. I enter to get the water hoping that he won't notice me with how focused he is on the meal.

On my way out the blasts the room with a belch and I turn back, we lock eyes and he smiles. He shouts “Hey dude come tag along while I'm here, no need to be sneaky”

“Oh don't worry Sal, I'm on my way back to bed, have a good meal tho” -I said while getting out of the chow hall and walking back to the barracks.

Once I'm in my bed a while later Salazar comes back huffing and puffing from a full stomach, ever since then more and more cadets would wake up to snack during the nights. Every time they will come back with a packed full belly and gasping for air.

The recreation room has become a massive point for gathering. People will do tournaments and pass their control to the next person over and over again. People camping out of the room snacking or sleeping while waiting for their turn.

While walking the base cadets are found boasting to one another about their recent achievements in the challenges at the chow hall, some of them eating mid day and joking about how they are all in a “dirty bulk”.

Jones and Neil continue to go out, one night during dinner he comes with Daniel and after taking his food he comes to us and say

“Hey guys, I will be eating with Neil for a while. Things are going well between us and I want to spend some extra time with him”

Daniel looks mortified but he remains quiet, nobody says anything and Connor finally breaks the silence

“Sure Jones enjoy the meal, you can always eat with us later”

Everyone adds congratulations to him and encourages him to go for it, except Daniel. Jones looks toward his brother but he doesn't say anything and after thanking everyone for their support he walks to Salazar's table. He sits besides Neil and gets a passionate kiss, some cadets whistle and cheer.

We continue to have dinner like always, Carlos is eating more than usual and he mentions how the food is tasting better now.

We let it slide and finish the meal and Daniel asks if we want to hang out afterwards. We all agreed and went to the field. Once there Daniel start to ramble

“Incredible, he just leaves us for Salazar’s little recruiter”

“Come on Daniel, it's not like they are building an army he is not doing anything criminal”-Carlos says

“That we know so far!, don't you all find it weird how suddenly they all start to act the same?”-he says looking angry and agitated.

“Daniel, if they are building an army, what are they fighting? the gym, the military, us? besides being lazy or hungry is universal not like they are drones” -I add

He looks at me and tries to come with a rebuttal but seems to realize how silly it all sounds.

“It's just so annoying how they just plucked him like nothing happened, he has been with Neil day and night for the past couple of days. It's just not how we do things!”

“Nobody plucked him Daniel, he went there out of his own volition” -Connor adds trying to be reasonable.

“Could it be possible that this is about being a tiny bitsy jealous of him dating Neil?” -Carlos asks nervously

“Of course not, I don't even like Neil!”

“You know he is not talking about Neil, he has a right to time of his own; and if you truly trust your brother, you have to allow him to drift away and come back” -Hill adds standing up and looking at Carlos “I'm going to bed, there is not much we can add to this situation”

Carlos stands up and says “Ok that's my queue to go as well. Have a good night everyone and Daniel, It's the first time he is having someone handling his energy. Cut him some slack”

With that Carlos and Hill go back to the barracks. We stay in silence for a second, Daniel sits down on the field, looking upon the stars and Connor whispers in my ear

“I'm going to bed. Try and talk to him, maybe it will help. You know use your Will charm”

Connor excuses himself and goes to the barracks leaving Daniel and me alone in the field. I get closer to him and I see he is looking at a picture of him and his brother. They are both kids in the picture playing around.

“I've been with him for everything, his silly blog in highschool, the time he wanted to go to the Appalachian trail when we were kids and our parents said no; He tried to get a ride there on his own and we were known as the runaway twins. Even when he tried to do that stupid prank channel. Do you have any idea how many opportunities I lose because my name is attached to ‘double pranks’?”

I try to remain serious, even when my brain bombards me of memories of that youtube channel. Jones couldn't shut up about it when we met and made me promise not to tell Daniel he showed it to me.

I put my hand in his shoulder and ask “I think what Carlos asked was, that maybe you are jealous of Jones getting a partner first”

“He doesn't have a partner, they've been dating for two weeks!”

“Come on Daniel you know what I mean”

he sighs and folds the picture, putting it back in his pocket he looks at me and replies.

“It's possible, I have botched so many opportunities with people before because I want to support him. That now that he is having a first time getting things his way I don't know”

“It's ok Daniel, you have done everything with him for a long time. It's natural that you feel a bit left aside. But he is still here and you are still siblings, no matter what happens you will stick to one another by the end”

He looks at me with a pained expression so I add “And yeah It's true that he is being a little bit weird but give it a couple of days and he will be back to the same old, same old. Even if he doesn't we have your back”

He shakes his head and nods my way “You are right, this is so dumb. I'm sorry I dragged you all into this. It's just not like him to react like this”

We stand up and walk back to the barracks to let time fix things.

The next few days that followed were marked by morning runs that were slowly having less and less people, Carlos slowing down and Hill catching on to him earlier than usual, the machines at the gym getting less crowded and Bradley showing up to train less often. At this point Salazar has stopped showing up all together.

During all of this Daniel looks pained with the distance from his brother. But we keep him company to help pass the time and he stays strong in his resolve. Sadly my comment of Jones coming back to his common self were . . . wrong.

He has stopped showing up to training to spend time with Neil, and spending time with Salazar and his team is rubbing some of their traits on him. He will participate in challenges and go to town for the sake of the validation of his loverboy.

whenever I cross paths with them and ask about the routine they reply about bulking for the moment and coming back to the gym soon. But I find it hard to believe, in the short time they’ve been together Neil managed to get Jones on track along with the rest of his group.

He has started to develop a beginner's gut and as Daniel started to notice, he started to speculate more and more of something going wrong. I know his words are a result of his pain, but I would be lying if I said some of his words haven't ingrained in my mind. Swirling during the nights looking at the ceiling of the barracks, especially when another cadet comes huffing from a midnight binge.

I try as much as I can, not to pay too much attention to the matter at hand but it's starting to become harder to ignore.

A few days into the week I have to take a shift in the watchtower and Carlos is the person with the shift before mine. I cross paths with Hill that's going there to bring Carlos some snacks.

“I owe him something so he asked me to bring him these” -he says while showing me fries with tons of toppings.

When we get to the top there is Carlos looking around the base finishing a protein bar, he throws the wrapper to the floor and belches loudly since he is unaware we are there. And I clear my throat to make our presence known

Carlos looks back at us with a face that said earth please eat me whole.

“Wow you can't even say sorry in front of our visits?” -Says Hill while giving Carlos his food

“Sorry guys, I've been just a bit gassy”

His belly rumbles and I notice his belly straining his shirt, it's looking bigger than before but his chest is the main attraction on display. the buttons on his chest are straining and I try to look away not to seem intrusive.

“And hungry it seems” -Hill Replies

“It's nothing really, it's just a little bloat, it will pass in a few days. I'm trying a new diet and it's common to get bloated at the start and . . .”

Before Carlos can ramble anymore Hill covers his mouth and says “Please shut up”

Then he gets his hand away from Carlos in a swift motion and Hill looks angry like I haven't seen him in a while. Carlos is lolling his tongue out with a cheeky smile.

“For Hades sake, did you just lick my hand?”

“Yeah, want me to lick something else?”

“Ok you have your snacks. I'm getting the fuck out of here.”

Hill gets out followed by a laughing Carlos.

I stay in the watchtower, cleaning the mess Carlos left behind him. Enough wrappers to fill a snack box, did he really have this all in a sitting and still asked Hill for more?. Maybe Daniel is right and we are turning into fat drones.

I stayed patrolling in the watchtower, I leaned in the border of the tower looking down at everyone dealing with their day. Boredom got the best of me and by the end of my shift I had fallen asleep in an awkward position, only waking up when Connor passed by to bring me something to eat and hang out.

I decided to pass by the infirmary to get a pain killer. That nap on the watchtower was worse than I thought. What I heard was Doctor Donovan inside moaning and wrinkling of aluminum paper. I knock at the door, and I can hear him scrambling around. He opens the door and I notice immediately that he got bigger than last time. His belly is pushing against his robe so much so you can see the gaps between the buttons begging for release. His arms look like sausages inside the sleeves and his pants are at two meals of retirement.

He lets me in to have my check up and I explain the situation. Around the cubicle there are pieces of fries and wrappers from different dishes from the chow hall all scattered around.

“Here it is, a light pain killer. We don't want you going around with something too strong” - he says with a jovial tone.

“Thanks doctor, I don't want to intrude but we haven't seen you or the commander around as much is everything ok?”

“Oh sure Will, but thanks for asking. The scientific team has been giving the commander a lot of paperwork and he hasn't been able to finish a stack of papers before a new one gets added”

“And you have been helping I imagine”

“Of course, we are a team after all” - he says with his chest puffing out.

His chest looks so strained in his clothes I was scared a button would fly to my eyes, at least in that case I'm already in the infirmary.

Once I'm out I tell Connor What I heard

“It's good to know they are ok, but having so much paperwork he can't regulate the camp? it’s kind of a problem” - Connor says.

I could only agree. With the commander out of service due to the scientist's continued request and the changing tone of our bootcamp all I can do is hope the experiment is close to an end.

I hope you all enjoyed this week’s chapter, get ready for some changes as the story picks up pace. Thanks again for your support and let me know in the comments if you have any ideas of what you would like to see next. << First Chapter / <Previous Chapter /  Next Chapter >>

[houseswombat]

I risk stirring some shit but alright. I understand the controversy around the kiss, and I'm not gonna go there you're so not ready for the conversation.

I welcome a polite, argumentative discussion in the replies.

Disclaimer: I'm not a Thumbelina myself, and I've had my share of one-sided attractions (and ultimately rejections, or even mockery) from handsome-looking guys like Chase. I know I am what I am. I'm fat. And I'm not offended (took me a long time to get there, so I'm talking only about my experience here) or bothered by Chase's attitude or anyone else's. For those of you who have different views (and that's cool), trigger warning has been added. Please mind that I'm very blunt in my statements. It's not personal. just business.

So, let's talk about Chase hating on fat people...

An obvious explanation justification would be some kind of eating disorder, him being obese, and all that. Maybe, he watched his mother turn from a beautiful woman he's known into an obese mess? Drugs and alcohol have different effects on people, so what if she gained weight? Maybe, his mother would have another 'episode', and somebody (a nanny, perhaps?) would take him to spend some time outdoors. And that person would take him out to eat at cheap fast food chains and pocket the money they were given to spend on the boy. Chase'd start secretly (he knows he has to behave himself because if he doesn't, it means the Talk™with his father) hate those trips, but he doesn't have a say.

Now, this is an Eastern European speaking in me, but here’s another thought: instead of hanging out with a nanny, he'd be brought in (when things got real bad) to his grandma. Or some distant aunt who didn't show any affection to him, just did the basics — feed, bath, put to sleep. Either of them would stuff food into him, and he'd eventually loath these trips so much (again, as a result, he had gained weight and got bullied, for instance) that he'd associate those with, well, obesity, fat people and so on.

As much as I understand the desire to give his fatphobia a justification, a reasonable explanation of his a-hole behaviour, the more I keep thinking about it, the more I'm concerned one shouldn't try to justify it.

What if he hates them because he just...has no reason to? And also, isn’t the obesity is the first thing any doc would blame all your health issues at?

So yeah, throw stones your thoughts at me, I’m curious to hear them.

[beeffilledshark]

Had shower thoughts about IBO in a hotel bathroom so I need to have a quick rant about all the dipshits who hate season 2 because they think Orga “just got stupid” or whatever the fuck.

So I decided to make a compilation of all the adults that tried to deceive/use/betray Tekkadan throughout the show

(Note: i didn’t include Nobliss Gordon because I forgot and the app only lets you include 10 images. Also including McGillis because he’s an adult even tho I consider him an Iron Blooded Orphan (but that’s a rant for another time))

Like, is it REALLY that much of a surprise for an orphan child soldier who gets involved with the mob at 16 to want to financially set his family for life by taking the shortest avenue possible? Growing up, he never met a single adult who didn’t view him as sub-human trash or a literal tool, other than Nadi (the mechanic). His first actual role model was a fucking mobster that commanded a ship full of wives. It’s an absolute wonder he lasted as long as he did as an interplanetary political figure.

In his experience, adults will always try to take advantage of him and his family because that’s just how the world works. It’s only a matter of time before the next adult that works with them will try to screw them over and get them killed. He wants to protect those he loves, and to an orphaned child soldier, the only way people won’t fuck with you is if you’re the literal King of Mars.

This poor kid had the weight of an entire family resting on his shoulders and the pressure to give Mika a place he belongs. AT THE AGE OF SIXTEEN. WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU DOING AT SIXTEEN BECAUSE MY BIGGEST CONCERNS WERE OVERWATCH COSMETICS AND AO3 FICS (I know he’s 18 in season 2 but that mfer did not have the chance to mature between the rapidly expanding Tekkadan responsibilities and the Half-metal trade moving to Teiwaz and, by extension, them).

Also, it’s made painfully obvious that Biscuit fulfills a crucial part in Tekkadan’s decision making. He’s the voice in Orga’s head that tells him he’s going too far or he’s forgetting the rest of the family. It makes his death and the inertia they build towards the fatal endgame all the more tragic.

I’m sure there’s other reasons people dislike season 2, but this is, by far, the point I’ve seen stressed the most when people sight their preference of season 1. I, personally, LOVE season 2 BECAUSE of Orga’s failures. He and Mika easily take the spot of my favorite shonen protagonists because it’s so easy to be swept up in the genre of being the scrappy underdogs that always come out on top by sheer force of will and a LOT of luck. But this is the first Shonen I’ve seen that ends with the protagonists getting utterly fucked because of their inability to not push on and move forward. In a way, it feels like a subversion of the genre and it makes it so much more gripping.

But that’s just my two cents. I’m not denying that Orga is an imbecile, by the way. Look, he says it right here.

[respectthepetty]

Help, I'm new to the BL world. Why do we all hate Krist?

Anon, @piningbisexuals wrote about why some of us do not like him, and it boils down to him making several troubling comments which he has yet to apologize for, so a majority of us understand this man continues to be problematic, and because of that, we feel . . . um . . . mmm . . .

A concerning amount of these BL actors stay problematic mostly for people who act in BLs, so he fits in with the crowd, but if anyone has ever worked in retail, the food industry, or customer service in general, we know there are better ways to handle people's wild questions or requests. If we could deal with middle-class Karens demanding their cheese be melted at a certain temperature while we worked for pennies, then these actors can definitely dig deep to better answer some of these questions.

However, the reason I do not like Krist is because

Homie can't act!

I watched SOTUS when it aired and remember NONE of it, probably because I blocked out Krist's acting, so as a main character, I had to block out 82% of the show. I have no recollection of watching SOTUS S whatsoever. Singto's back had to hurt carrying the weight of their scenes.

And what makes it worse is Krist can actually act! He was fine in Good Old Days and Who Are You, but in SOTUS, he was stiff (and don't try saying maybe he evolved over the years or that's what the character required because R2-D2 is an actual robot and has more personality than Arthit!). So that makes me believe the reason for Krist's odd acting choice was due to being paired in a romantic plot with a man.

Krist already said he wouldn't do another BL unless he was desperate, and he looks uncomfortable acting with a man, so why would he be given the lead in another BL?! Who are we punishing here because I feel like it's the audience!

Also, Fluke is no Singto. I like Fluke. He can sing. He is nice to look at. He can act. But I showed up for the DanYok (Not Me) pair because First has always done his job well (even in The Shipper!). Fluke and Pond's dynamic worked in Dark Blue Kiss because of their story line, but if Krist does what he did in SOTUS, Fluke is not strong enough to carry the plot which hinges on Krist's character growing from his past mistakes (a little on-the-nose, right?) simply because no matter how much Fluke gives to his character, if Krist sucks, the entire show will be off balance.

I hope he surprises me, but that beach scene and bed scene in the trailer didn't help ease my fears.

I need Krist to bring out his inner Stanley Tucci and give me the best performance from a straight man since Tucci acted against CHER and X-tina in Burlesque.

I need this man to do his job and act.

[oneiroy]

Hi, fren! I did not see the Dawntrail ask game on your page. But I would still very much like to know what Ryss' thoughts on Tural (and everything that happened there) would be!

Hi!! Yeah, I kind of wanted to reblog it to force myself to ponder about Ryss in DT buuut the thing is I can't seem to find something to properly chew on for in terms of new lore for her in this expac so I was afraid the asks would just join the pile of forever unanswered ones already in my inbox ahahahah

Don't get me wrong I really enjoyed playing through DT but I was waiting for new ideas and developments to come to my mind and it kinda... never did? Not yet at least ahahah, maybe it'll hit me like a freight train later on, as it often happens with me ahahah

But uh yeah some random thoughts Ryss has of Tural and the events under the cut, it's gonna be completely random as I try to think through it tho ahahah

First of all, Ryss got everything she wanted and more from her trip to Tural. Sure, she accepted to help Wuk Lamat because she just really enjoys her and her enthusiasm, but most of all she wanted to simply feel like an adventurer again. She wanted to see things she had never seen, meet new people and learn about their ways, and not feel like the weight of the world weight on her shoulders. And she got to do all of that and more!

I think she and Fornax took a lot of time during the rite to go off on their own and simply explore and have some good time together. Definitely giving Erenville new grey hairs when they just disappeared because something caught their eye again and again ahahah

I don't think she was overly concerned about the rite, to be honest. I want to say she had the time to exchange a bit more with Gulool Ja Ja than what the msq shows, and understood that he would not let a future tyrant take his place. Still, she was glad to see Wuk Lamat rise to the challenge, since her heart is in the right place at least.

As for S9 and Living Memory, well.. She obviously has the expected reaction of hating regulators, the way they consider souls and their denial of death. Not only does she see it as a complete disregard for life and what she fought to defend against the ascians's vision, but there's also a form of contempt and pity for people who lived such a strangely sheltered life.

As for the Endless in Living Memory... she has known grief, it brings back a familiar pain and yet... The question of wanting the dead to be brought back or for them to never die is something that she had many occasions to ponder after everything that had happened with the ascians, and she is at peace with that now.

If anything, it was bittersweet in the sense that yes it brought back painful memories, but seeing all of these people wanting to enact their last wishes, that they couldn't do in life... it made her realize that she had little to no regrets. Sure, she had known her fair share of hardships, made her fair share of mistakes, but standing here in that moment with Fornax, she could only draw the conclusion that if it was to be done again, she would go through all again to live the life she had known at their side.

Yeah... that's pretty much all I've got so far I think. Thanks for the ask!!

[simslegacy5083]

NSB (Straud Legacy) Gen 9 Ep 93: The Shape of You

Luigi wasn’t alone in being anxious about the pregnancy.

Despite a relatively complication free first trimester, when they arrived at their second trimester appointment with Dr. Valezquez, the experienced therapist took one look at Noemi’s troubled expression and ill-fitting outfit and immediately recognized a sim in desperate need of comforting.

She welcomed them both warmly and jumped right in: “Our last session was quite focused on Luigi’s concerns. This time, let’s start with the mother to be. Adjusting to big changes like this can give anyone a hard time, and we’re here to find ways to help. So how are you feeling, dear?”

Noemi replied that she’d had a very helpful glimpse into their future recently. “Luigi’s teammate just had an adorable little baby boy and invited us over for dinner. Breanne, his wife, has already raised one child and told me a lot about what to expect in the years to come.”

Luigi jumped in to say that the way his co-captain had taken to the baby gave him great hope for his own child when Dr. Valezquez cut him off.

“Yes, spending time with other parents of a similar age can be very helpful, but we were waiting to hear how Noemi was feeling.”

“I’ve been taking very good care of myself, cooking healthy meals and avoiding junk food and empty calories. I’m also fully back into my old fitness regime and pushing more weight at the gym than ever before.” As she spoke, even Luigi noticed how she unconsciously seemed to hide her belly.

He thought back to noticing her longing looks at the sugary breakfast cereal he’d bought for her as she prepared a low-fat egg white omelet, and the way she’d been working out to the point of exhaustion. He glanced at the therapist and asked: “Is it possible to be in too good a shape?”

 “Not necessarily” the Doctor said, “But it raises an important question. Noemi, what do you think the healthiest shape is, for someone growing a whole new person right around … here?” She pantomimed a baby belly on herself, rounded and projecting. “And the healthiest frame of mind?”

Noemi’s eyes filled with tears at the question. She grabbed some tissues from the box Dr. Velasquez kept on hand and snuggled into her boyfriends' outstretched arms to explain: “The changes to my body are freaking me out a bit. My mom said a lot of hurtful things about my weight when I hit puberty. That’s when I started focusing more on working out and eating healthy.”

“My departed wife, Kiana, helped me learn to love and accept myself, but mom’s unkind words when we told her about the baby brought all those insecurities roaring back to the surface. Suddenly I was right back to hating looking at myself in the mirror.” She buried her face in Luigi’s shoulder. “I’m afraid if I put on baby weight, I’ll never get rid of it. ”

“It’s normal to struggle with the physical changes pregnancy brings, especially for people who’ve struggled with their body image in the past” their therapist gently told her. “But it’s important for you and your baby to get the fuel and rest you need to grow in healthy ways. Feel free to keep doing exercises that feel comfortable, but now isn’t the time to push harder.”  She smiled. “Don’t worry, you’ll get to do all the pushing you want at the end.”

“If mirrors make it harder to love yourself, please, let your doctors and family support you there.” She looked at Luigi “Can we count on you to help Noemi see that she is beautiful and loved?”

 “Of course!” he said “Noemi will always be beautiful to me, no matter what. I just want her and the baby to be happy and healthy.”

“Great!” Dr. Valezquez beamed. “It’s a special time, enjoy it! Noemi, savor those cravings and enjoy whatever food your body calls for. Go shopping for something that shows off your new shape, rather than trying to hide it.”

Unknowingly mirroring Beau she continued: “Most importantly, start getting excited about the baby to come. It may help you both to remember this is really all about the third person on my couch right now.”

“I recommending finding out your little one's gender at your next OB visit and start trying out names. Studies show that finding out the gender of an unborn baby and giving him or her a name helps with bonding. Buy some cute things to decorate their room, talk to them, and wait for those baby kicks to start in earnest!” The doctor patted her own belly with a faraway look in her eye. “Getting prepared ahead of time will make things much easier when your baby finally arrives.”

The couple left their session that day with lots of “homework”, but in a much better frame of mind than the last time.

They would have one more session before the baby was born, and they both hoped to have made some progress, and have good news to share, by the time that final appointment rolled around.

View The Full Story of My Not So Berry Challenge Here

[stargirl092]

Behold, an unasked for, frankly concerning, painfully cringy and probably idiotic rant about Bojack horseman. read if you want lmao

first off, I am not that far into Bojack horseman, I am just now finishing up the second season. and even though I haven’t seen that much I am literally obsessed with it, and have consumed a very embarrassing amount of media about it I PROMISE I KNOW WHAT IM TALKING ABOUT I HAVE WATCHED A MILLION VIDEO ESSAYS. I am very passionate about this please bear with me Lmao.

As a mentally Ill person, Most media about mental illness and especially depression misses the mark. Books like “girl in pieces” and “my year of relaxation and rest” seem like they are laced with misery from the start to finish page, and seem like there is no actually depth and everything sits on the surface (I have read both of these books by the way). I believe they very commonly include controversial topics that can be sort of alienating instead of making people feel included, which doesn’t make a ton of sense but I feel it’s very possible to have actual depth without literally actively alienating the people that consume your content.

with BoJack Horseman, I genuinely assumed it was a stupid cartoon about a talking horse. Which it sort of is, but I heard good and bad things about it so I decided to try for myself and I was immediately compelled by how they introduce such serious topics with an on the surface almost stupidity, but also humor and ACTUAL ACCURATE DEPICTIONS OF DEPRESSION. as a person with depression and anxiety, I do not want to see a extremely attractive girl wearing makeup with perfect hair sitting in her bed in her spotless room while a singularly tear falls down her stupid but conventionally attractive face. I mean, not saying that’s not a valid experience of depression but depression/mental illness is messy. It’s disappointing, unbearable, and complicated. For most cases, it can negatively impact things like your character, social life, relationships with people you love, career, or ANYTHING in an awful way. And that doesn’t make you a bad person, but that is realistically The affects mental illness can/will have on you. Once again, not saying that mental illness has to ruin your life for it to be valid but a lot of the Time it can, or almost can.

take BoJack, for example. he is an alcoholic, has strangled a girl, sabotaged Todd’s career, backstabbed herb ETC ETC. So yea, he’s sort of a bad person and that’s a question the show sort of lets you answer for yourself. But he also had an awful childhood and absolutely hates himself. To alot of people, that makes him real because when you have the things that happen to BoJack happen to you, the things he does to people are things that THE CAUSE MAKES SENSE FOR THE AFFECT. despite all of this, BoJack tries to be a better person relentlessly, and fails every time. BoJack is painfully human (which is funny because he’s a horse) and that’s why he is an amazing character and a realistic character. It doesn’t make sense to have a traumatized mentally Ill character that is literally perfect and completely unscathed.

Take Diane, for example. Diane is an example of an amazing complex character. some people don’t like Diane and think she is a hypocrite, WHICH IS LITERALLY BULLSHIT AND I COULD SPEND HOURS TALKING ABOUT WHY ITS BULLSHIT. BoJack and Diane had similar childhoods, where they were both told negative things by their family members/parents but the main difference is that BoJack believed them and Diane did not. Another point is that BoJack and all the other characters make you feel comfortable with being or feeling “broken” but Diane makes you feel uncomfortable about not doing anything about it. Diane does make a sort of recovery, by taking antidepressants, gaining weight, and divorcing Mr. Peanut butter. Diane is complex, realistic and an amazing character. Tbh I think most Diane haters are just misogynistic.

One last example is Todd. Todd is supposed to be the sort of comic relief, stupid character (ex. “Todd pick up your shit”) But he has depth!! He has trauma and issues and he’s asexual, which is pretty cool because I never see asexuals in tv shows. id say a time you get a little glimpse into Todd as a whole is when he tells Bojack; “it’s not the drugs, it’s not the alcohol, it’s not the shitty things that happened to you when you were a kid, you are all the things that are wrong with you. Fuck, Man what else is there to say?” which is an amazing line and a hard truth that Bojack kinda needed to hear. Also may I add the genius use of the word fuck in the entire series, only using it once per season to really put emphasis on something. It is not used casually in the show. The only time it is used in season one is when BoJack tries to apologize to Herb and he says “Now get the fuck out of my house.” Which is a very big deal for BoJack.

Overall, this is way too long and I think it takes actual talent to be able to portray depression so well and have lines like “before I jumped, I should have seen the view from halfway down” (which btw is gonna be my yearbook quote) and also be about talking animals and be animated. Genuinely very impressive.

edit: I CANT BELIEVE I FORGOT SARAH LYNN OH MY GOD

[gnabnahc317cb97]

Mind Over Matter

Seo Changbin x thick female reader

Word count: 10.7K

Synopsis: A sequel to Strength Training. After having sex with your new trainer you start to avoid him. When Changbin finally runs into you he asks you out on a real date but your ex-husband is hell bent on making your life miserable.

Warnings: MDNI 18+ ONLY! Cursing and strong language, verbal abuse (not Changbin), boarder line stalking (also not Changbin), mild violence (shoving, one punch), oral (m&f receiving), deep throating, fingering, a little spit play, a little impact play, anal play with penetration, use of massagers and toys, protected piv sex, praise/body worship, pet names (baby, angel etc), a little overstimulation, squirting, cum eating/coming in mouth, slightly rough sex, Changbin dom/MC sub dynamic, mentions of tying MC up, also I'm not sure if its a warning but Changbin touches MC's feet 2 times, not in a sexual way but I know some people are weird about feet so yea I think that's everything but if I missed something please let me know and I'll add it!

It had been two full weeks since you fucked your trainer in his gym, and you had not gone to a single one of your sessions since. It wasn’t because of him of course, Changbin had been very sweet after, showed you to the showers and let you clean up in private, then gave you some of his gym clothes since he had gotten a bit overzealous with your leggings. After you showered and got dressed it was awkward, well, you were awkward. Changbin tried to make you feel more comfortable by just acting normal while he was actually freaking out inside. 

“So, I’ll see you for your next training session yea?” He was trying to subtly flirt not wanting to make you more uncomfortable, but it seemed to you like he just wanted to get straight back to business, so you followed suit. 

“Yea Changbin sure.” Changbin gave you a bit of a sad smile. 

“Please call me Binnie y/n.” You nodded unable to make eye contact and made a quick exit after that. You were on the verge of tears, and you didn’t feel like making a fool of yourself any more than you had already. Since then, you had not gone to any of your training sessions and ignored every call and text from Changbin. Refusing to even open them, scared of what they may say.  

For some reason or another your ex-husband, Steven, must have been bored because he decided it was a perfect time to start verbally abusing you via text, as if you didn’t have enough on your mind already. Your phone was blowing up with those texts as you were leaving work. He wanted to ruin your night, your weekend, your life. Anything you had planned, he wanted to make you feel like shit so you would just stay home, alone. You were always alone. You were reading through the hateful words on your phone, not paying attention to where you were walking and ran right into someone. When you hit the firm wall of human you stumbled, twisted your ankle and fell back on your ass. 

“Ow! Shit! I’m sorr-” You looked up and much to your surprise, the person you had just run into was Changbin. 

“Hey no I’m sorry. I was scanning faces looking for you and found you the hard way I guess.” Changbin smiled and offered a hand to help you up.  

“Changbin? Wha-how did you know I was here?” He smiled at you and a dimple appeared in one cheek.  

“I’m gonna start to think you don’t like me if you keep calling me Changbin, please Bin or Binnie I don’t think we have to be so formal.” You looked down blushing and nodded. 

“I called Lacey when you wouldn’t answer any of my attempts to reach out. We’re friends outside of the gym as well. He told me you were here.” Changbin wiggled his fingers, and you accepted the hand he held out for you. He gently held the back of your arm while you stood up and when you went to put weight on your foot. 

“Ow ow ow, fuck!” Changbin braced you and looked concerned. 

“What hurts?” You grimaced. 

“My ankle, the left one.” Changbin slid your arm around his broad shoulders and helped you over to a nearby bench. He was warm and firm and smelled so good; it made your head swimmy. Once you were seated, he knelt in front of you, took your shoe off and looked at your ankle. He bent your toes down, not too much pain, bearable. Then he bent it up and once your foot was pressed flat against his palm. 

“Fuck Bin, SSsssOw!” He tried slightly turning it side to side and you winced and came up out of your seat a bit. 

“BIN ow! That hurts!” He nodded and started to gently rub your ankle soothing the pain he’d caused, his hand sliding slightly up your calf gently squeezing in a comforting way as if to apologize.  

“I know I’m sorry, I just had to make sure it wasn’t broken. It's just strained, probably not bad, but you shouldn’t put any weight on it the rest of the night. It probably wouldn’t hurt to wrap and ice it also.” Changbin watched your ankle as he rubbed small circles against your skin, and you watched him with your bottom lip between your teeth. He wasn’t doing anything remotely sexual, but you could feel yourself flushing with arousal at his touch. You started getting flustered. 

“Ch-Binnie, w-what are you doing here?” He sighed, set your foot down, and sat next to you on the bench. 

“You haven’t been coming to your sessions. You’ve already paid me for them.” You just didn’t think you could go about business as usual after having the man’s face in between your legs but you didn’t know how to tell him that.  

“Bin I couldn’t-” 

“You weren’t answering my calls or texts...” You nodded staring at your ankle he’d just had in his hands. 

“Yea I know Bin I didn’t think I could...” You didn’t know how to put it without making yourself sound pathetic. You didn’t think you could fuck him and not fall in love with him. 

“Did... uh, did I do something wrong?” You looked at him surprised he had come to that conclusion.  

“Wha-NO! No Bin you didn’t.” He shook his head. 

“No because if I came on too strong and made you uncomfortable, I’m really sorry... I don’t know, I just... I’m really sorry if I pressured you to do something you didn’t want to.” You felt awful that Changbin thought that he may have done something wrong. Had you answered any of his attempts to contact you and stopped only thinking of yourself in the scenario, you would have known he was concerned he had done something you didn’t want. 

“NO. Changbin. No. You didn’t, I promise I just... after everything I didn’t think I could act like nothing happened. I was uncomfortable but it wasn’t for any of the reasons you think. I just... I had never done anything like that before and you seemed like you wanted to just go back to business, and I couldn’t Bin I just couldn’t.” He grabbed one of your hands in both of his and you looked at him finally. 

“I’ve NEVER done anything like that either! I mean like have sex in my gym... or with a client... not that I just look at you like some customer I’m just saying...” He was getting flustered now, and you found it endearing that this big, gorgeous man was tripping over his words. He was just as nervous as you were it seemed. 

“But we don’t have to act like nothing happened. I don’t want that. I would really like to take you out on a date, if you would go out with me.” You looked at him surprised.  

“Oh you... you want to go on a date with me?” He nodded shyly and you couldn’t help the word vomit that came out next. 

“Why? I mean you're ridiculously handsome with a body like an Olympian god, you’re a ten out of ten and I’m... I’m not Bin. I’m fat and a six in the face at best. You could have any woman you want so why me?” Changbin took a mental note that if he ever got the chance to deck your ex-husband for what he’s done to your confidence, to take it with no hesitation. 

“First off, I told you not to talk about yourself like that. I mean it. There are enough mean people in the world, don’t be mean to yourself. Two, I’m NOT a ten okay, I'm not a god, I’m just a normal guy. I have flaws and complexes and I’m no different than you so please don’t put me on a pedestal like that, like I’m above you, because I’m not. You’re beautiful y/n, like make me nervous, heart flutter, butterflies in my stomach, beautiful, the fact that you have a fuller figure is a non-issue to me. I don’t have a preference over you having blue or brown eyes so why should I have a preference over your weight? It has no bearing on who you are as a person. It's a physical trait, that’s all.” You were in shock. You certainly didn’t expect all that. You weren’t used to it either, you didn’t know what to say. You were used to... your phone started buzzing with an incoming call and right then you remembered that Steven had been harassing you when you bumped into Changbin. You hadn’t given his texts any attention yet and he couldn’t have that, so he was calling you now. Changbin looked down at your phone in your hand. 

“Is that important? Do you need to get it?” You chewed at your thumb nail on your free hand nervously. 

“Um, well... It’s my ex-husband.” Changbin gently squeezed your hand. 

“I’ll step over here and give you some privacy.” He walked over by an aquarium that was kept in the lobby and started looking inside at the fish. You hit the answer button and before you could even say hello, he started in on you. Changbin was trying to give you privacy, but it was hard when your ex-husband insisted on screaming at you over the phone. 

“Look we’re not together anymore Steven so you don’t get to just talk to me like that and expect me to take it.” You hung up the phone and in seconds it started ringing again and again and again. You turned your phone off and called for Changbin to come back over. 

“Sor-” Changbin put up his hand stopping your apology. 

“Do NOT apologize for that asshole. You have nothing to be sorry for. Good for you for standing up for yourself.” You forced a little laugh. 

“Yea it’s only because it’s easy to just hit end call. When he’s right in front of me is another story. I’ve never been able to stand up to him face to face.” Changbin frowned a little. 

“Well forget him, let me help you.” He tried to help you stand up from the bench. 

“Really Binnie I’ll be fine.” He smirked at you. 

“Oh yea? Where’s your car?” You shook your head. 

“I take the subway.” He nodded and laughed. 

“Yea thought so. Look, just let me take you home, please? My car is parked close, and you can’t walk on that ankle.” You pressed your lips together; you knew you should accept the help, but you didn’t want to be a bother. As if Changbin could read your mind. 

“It’s no trouble really, we can finish our talk.” Changbin helped you up from the bench and put your arm around his shoulder again, he snaked his arm around your waist, his hand resting on one of your full hips, then grabbed the shoe he had taken off you. Your eyes gleamed a bit and you smiled at him; you weren't used to being treated so kindly. Changbin’s ears turned red, and he looked away as his smile grew bigger. He liked seeing you smile; he liked being the reason you were smiling. 

“Lean on me, no weight on that foot.” You shook your head no. 

“No Bin, I’m too heavy...” He cocked an eyebrow at you with a challenging look on his face. 

“You trying to say I’m weak?” You looked at him incredulously and he started laughing. 

“You’re fine, really, lean onto me.” You did as Changbin said and he held you up easily then looked down at you smirking. 

“See no problem. Come on this way.” You hobbled to Changbin’s car with his help, and he made sure you got in okay before shutting your door and getting in the driver’s seat. You told him where to go and you were off. You stole glances at Changbin out of the corner of your eye from time to time. Why was he sexy even just driving a car. His hand gripping the steering wheel the veins popping out up his arms. When Changbin cleared his throat to say something, you were pulled from your thoughts and jumped. 

“I’m sorry I didn’t mean to startle you.” You shook your head with your hand on your heart. 

“No no don’t be sorry, it’s not you. I’m just really jumpy right now.” Changbin glanced over at you and then back at the road. 

“Because of your ex?” You looked down and then away. 

“I’m sorry that’s none of my-” 

“Yes it’s because of him...” Changbin nodded. 

“Is every... are you okay?” You laughed at yourself because you didn’t know. 

“I’m a little worried he may be waiting at the house since I hung up on him.” Changbin looked very worried now. 

“You think he would do that? Has he before?” His voice sounded serious. You shook your head. 

“He’s never done it, but I wouldn’t put a move like that past him. He’s done other things like that and worse.” Changbin gripped the steering wheel a little tighter, his knuckles turning white. 

“Well, I’m walking you up so don’t worry, okay?” You nodded and looked out the passenger window, it wasn’t much further. When Changbin pulled into your driveway he pulled up as far as he could and parked, turning off the car. 

“Wow, this is a nice place!” You gave him a sad smile. 

“Yea it’s nice but it’s big and quiet. I used to have two dogs, Edgar and Allen, but Steven got rid of them when I was gone one day after I filed for divorce. Like that would stop me from leaving him. It made me lonely though, so he was successful in that way I suppose.” That broke Changbin’s heart. That was beyond low but typical for Steven. If his shit was disturbed, he was disturbing yours as well. Misery loves company of course.  

“Sorry don’t mind me and my sob story. I’ll just go ahead...” You were starting to get out of the car and Changbin stopped you. 

“I think not; you still can’t put weight on that, hold on.” He got out and hurried around the car, opening your door. He leaned down and this time you slid your hand across his shoulder feeling the muscle underneath as he helped you out. He walked you to your door and you fished your keys out of your pocket, Changbin waited. 

“You-You’re gonna take me all the way inside?” You asked surprised. Changbin chuckled and shook his head at you. 

“Well, ye- what part of you can’t put weight on this ankle are you missing beautiful?” You could feel your face flush and you looked down at the doorknob focusing on unlocking it before you did something stupid like drop your keys. Once you were inside you weren’t sure what to do. It had been so long since you had anyone in the house with you. Luckily Changbin kind of picked up on that and got things moving. 

“So, where’s the kitchen, I want to get you some ice.” You pointed in the direction of the kitchen. 

“Okay wait here just a second.” You braced yourself against the wall and Changbin ran to get the ice. When he was back your arm was draped across him again and his warm body was pressed into your side. 

“Alright, now, where’s your room?” You hoped it was only you that could hear your heart beating in your ears. You answered quietly. 

“Oh uh, this way.” You directed Changbin towards your master bedroom. Once he had you in there, he walked you over to your bed and you sat down. 

“Now, do you have ace bandages in your first aid kit?” You nodded and he turned in a circle looking around. 

“It’s in the ensuite bathroom under the sink.” Changbin ran off to the bathroom and grabbed the ace bandage and a reusable ice bag he found under there as well. He came back over by you, sat on the edge of the bed and sat all of the stuff down. 

“Gimme.” He did grabby hands at you like some kind of buff toddler. 

“What?” He laughed. 

“Give me your foot I’m gonna wrap it, you need to take it easy and keep it elevated tonight. It’s not bad so it should be better tomorrow as long as you relax and stay off it.” You brought your foot up and Changbin gently grabbed it and rested it in his lap. You shivered and it gave you goosebumps to feel his hands on you like that again, they were warm and a little callused from the weights he lifted. His voice got very soft. 

“Is that okay?” You could feel your face heating up again as your foot rested so closely to his crotch and you nodded. Changbin wrapped your ankle, put the ice he’d gotten into the bag, then took a couple of the plethora of pillows you had and stacked them so your foot was propped up. He put the ice bag on top and then stood up. 

“Okay I’m gonna order some food for you.” You shook your head no. 

“No Changbin you’ve done too much already, I can...” Changbin stopped. 

“You need to eat dinner y/n...” You agreed with him. 

“Okay yea, alright but just... there’s stuff to make a sandwich or something like that in the fridge, please don’t go to the trouble of spending money and ordering food.” Changbin could agree with that, as long as you ate something. He made you a sandwich, got you something to drink and then sat and chit chat with you while you ate. The longer you were around Changbin the more relaxed you became. He seemed to have a calming effect on you when nothing else had. When you were done eating Changbin took your plate and cup back down to the kitchen and brought you back a bottle of water. 

“Do you have like some pajamas you want me to grab or...” Your heart started racing because the answer was a bit embarrassing. 

“Umm. No. I... don’t...’ Changbin understood immediately. 

“Oh. OH! Right okay yea.” He rubbed the back of his neck as it and his face both turned red. 

“I guess I should probably go now then huh.” You smiled. 

“I guess.” You replied. 

“Uh one thing before I head out of here y/n?” You looked at him expectantly. 

“A date? Tomorrow?” You smiled and nodded. 

“I would love to Ch-Binnie.” He chewed at his bottom lip and had a little half smile that made his dimple appear again. 

“Okay great! I’ll uh... I’ll text you the details, make sure you answer, okay?” He winked at you, and you laughed. 

“I’ll answer Bin, promise.” He grinned ear to ear. 

“I’ll hold you to it. Do you need anything else before I go?” You shook your head 

“I don’t think so, I’ve got water and I can watch tv until I’m ready for bed. You’re good Binnie.” He was a little apprehensive to leave you, but walked over to you, leaned down and gave your cheek a soft kiss. 

“Goodnight y/n. I’ll see you tomorrow.” You were certain your heart was going to beat right out of your chest. 

“Goodnight, Bin.” Changbin left and you stripped down to your ‘pajamas’. Changbin mentioning texting reminded you that you had turned off your phone. You grabbed it out of the pocket of your pants before tossing them aside. You hit the power button and as soon as it came on the barrage of text and voicemail notifications all started coming in. You started to open the text thread to see what Steven had said but you stopped and instead deleted all of it without reading a single one. Then you did the same with the voicemails, deleted. Didn’t listen to a single word. It might not be standing up to him to his face yet, but you felt good for the first time in a long time. 

The next morning when you woke up your ankle felt much better, but you kept it wrapped up for the morning just to be safe. Right after breakfast your phone started ringing. You assumed it was Changbin calling to give you the details of your date, so you answered without even thinking. 

“Miss me already?” The voice that came over the line was nasty and venomous. 

“Why the fuck should I? That would be an incredible waste of time on an incredible waste of a human.” You winced at his words. Steven always knew how to cut you down so quickly. You heard your other line click as your ex-husband continued to go in on you. You looked and saw it was Changbin calling this time. 

“I don’t have time for this I have to go...” You went to hang up and could hear your ex yelling on the other line. 

“Don’t you fucking dare hang up on me again you bi-” You hung up anyway and answered Changbin’s call. 

“Hey Binnie!” You tried to hide the tension in your voice which was easier once you heard the smile in Changbin’s voice. 

“Hey! How are you? How’s the ankle?” You laughed and told him it was better. You guys had a little small talk and then Changbin got down to the reason he had called. 

“So, we still on for tonight?” Your heart fluttered at the idea of spending a whole evening with this sweet, ridiculously gorgeous man. 

“Absolutely! How should I dress and when should I be ready?” Changbin said to dress nicely, but that it wasn’t formal or anything and that he would be at your place at six thirty to get you. Around four you got in the shower and started to get ready. There was a cocktail dress you had gotten when you were still with Steven for an anniversary dinner that he never showed up for. You decided to dust that off and wear it. When you put it on it still fit perfectly. You thought your hair looked fine down the way it was, so you left it that way and put on a little makeup. The dress was so pretty, you hoped Changbin’s attention would be on that. You put on your chunky Versace heels because why the hell not, dabbed some perfume on your pulse points and you were pretty much ready. 

Changbin knocked on your door right at about six thirty. You answered and when you two saw each other you were both speechless. It was clear you and Changbin had similar taste as he stood there in a sheer Versace button down shirt. It was open and he wore a crisp black tank top underneath. The sheer sleeves showed his muscles, and you were ready to salivate, he looked so good. If you were about to drool, Changbin was about to have a heart attack. You stood there looking statuesque in a black sequined mini dress with loose slightly belled sleeves that were sheer like his own.  

“Holy fuck gorgeous!” You started to blush and smiled ear to ear at his reaction. His eyes were glued to you and not just one single part of your body but all of you. They traveled down the expanse of legs in front of him and landed on your chunky black heels, the diamond accented ankle strap and a tell-tale medusa head charm dangling from it. 

“I’m glad to see that ankle is better and I see you have very good taste. Versace?” Changbin pointed at the shoes, and you nodded. With the chunky heels on it made you quite a bit taller than him and you worried he might not like that. Steven hated when you wore them for that very reason. 

“I can change them if you want.” Changbin’s eyebrows furrowed, and he shook his head. 

“Hell no! You look fucking amazing don’t change a thing!” You laughed and dusted imaginary lint off his shoulder as an excuse to touch him. 

“You look pretty fucking amazing too.” Changbin’s smile grew a mile wide and every part of his face and ears were a bright shade of red.  

“Let’s get out of here, I know a place.” You laughed and rolled your eyes pulling the door closed behind you as you left. The last place you had expected Changbin to take you was a jazz speakeasy. You looked around in amazement as the host showed you to your table. When you sat down and Changbin saw the smile on your face he felt his heart start to flutter again. He really liked being the reason you were smiling, he wished he saw it more. You were stunning when you smiled. 

It was such a laid-back place, even with everyone dressed so nicely it was relaxed. You and Changbin ordered your drinks and talked while you listened to the band play. It turned out that you and Changbin had a lot in common and the more you talked the more you liked him. He was charming, and funny, and didn’t take himself too seriously. He seemed close with his family by the way he talked about them, and his sister sounded hilarious. You liked that, you didn’t have any family left and Steven’s family all hated you for leaving him even though they knew what he had been doing to you. A couple of drinks in Changbin spilled a little on his pants. 

“Ah shit, I’m gonna run to the bathroom really quick.” You nodded. He stood, leaned down, and pecked your cheek, then turned before either of you could combust over the sweet gesture. You were just getting to the end of your drink and Changbin had just spilt what was left in his, so it was perfect timing for the waiter to be coming back by. He made his way around from behind you and stopped at your table. 

“Yea I need two...” When you looked up you choked on your words. It wasn’t the waiter standing there, it was Steven. 

“You need to stop hanging up on me like a rude bitch when I’m talking to you.” You looked around, people at the table on either side of you heard him but just side eyed and said nothing. You just sat there and took it; it was all you could ever do when he was in front of you talking down to you like that. 

“What poor sap are you trying to trick with that half assed attempt and this dark ass bar?” Now one of the ladies at the other table looked right over, her mouth agape in shock at his words but still said nothing to try and stop him. 

“Isn’t that the dress you wore for our last anniversary? The one I spent with... what’s her name again? Oh, yea Candi. Looking a little more snug than before. You still packing on the pounds I see. I thought you hired some hot shot trainer? Isn’t he gonna do something about your fat ass?” You just kept your head down as the tears welled up and spilled from your eyes. He was making a full-on scene now. Other tables, not just the surrounding ones, were starting to look now. You were so embarrassed. You had completely forgotten that Changbin was even there and that he would be coming back from the bathroom, and he did just in time to hear the last bit of what your ex-husband was saying to you. 

“Excuse me you're blocking my seat.” Steven turned towards the voice coming from behind him. When he did, he saw a man that, while not as tall as him, was solid muscle. Steven turned back to you. 

“Oh, what did you tell this poor sap to get him here y/n? Or have you finally gotten desperate enough to hire a male escort? That’s it isn’t it?” Changbin closed his eyes, counted to ten in his head, and took a deep breath. 

“Excuse me!” He said more firmly but still quietly. 

“I said you are blocking my seat. So move and stop talking to my date like that.” Steven whipped back around towards Changbin.  

“With all due respect which is none, you have no idea who the fuck you’re talking to.” Changbin was really starting to lose his patience and when he looked over and saw you sitting there practically cowering, mascara streaking your face a little piece of him snapped. 

“I know exactly who I’m talking to Steven, you’re y/n’s shit heel ex-husband and you don’t know who the fuck you’re talking to asshole. Now stop causing a scene and just go.” Steven like the idiot he is stepped to Changbin.  

“Or what? What are you gonna do about it.” Changbin remembered thinking if he ever had the chance to punch your ex-husband he’d take it in a heartbeat, but he couldn’t do that to you, not in a place like that. You were already embarrassed by your ex, Changbin wasn’t going to add to it. 

“Well, I’m a man of jutdae, so I’ll ask the staff to escort you out if you don’t want to of your own accord.” Steven scoffed. 

“Juu what? I don’t give a shit what you ask the staff to do. You aren’t gonna do shit so shut the fuck up already.” Changbin took another deep breath. 

“Jutdae means I am a man of principals something you would know nothing about. Now this is your last warning. Leave. Now.” Steven turned back to you and started in on you again completely ignoring Changbin now. 

“Now listen to me you little bitch...” Changbin was done he put his hand on Steven’s shoulder ready to pull him away but as soon as he touched him your ex shoved Changbin and swung at him, missing. Changbin straightened back up as Steven took a fighting stance. 

“Steven!” You yelled. He turned and you punched him flat. It hurt your hand like a bitch and broke Steven’s nose. He went down like a sack of potatoes and suddenly security wanted to show up to take care of the disturbance, which apparently was you and Changbin. 

“We don’t condone any fighting in this establishment, it is zero tolerance. I’m going to have to ask you both to leave.” Changbin tossed money on the table, the look on his face seething as his hand rested on your lower back and you gripped your sore hand. 

“Yea no problem. If your security had done something about him while he was stalking and harassing my date there wouldn’t have been any fighting, but you allowed one of your patrons to be harassed freely within ear shot of all these other customers and your staff. So, don’t worry we are leaving but it’s definitely not because you told us to. Come on y/n.” Changbin stepped past your ex-husband who was still cursing and whining on the floor and led you out of the bar. When you were both in the car you felt like you could let out a breath finally. 

“Holy fuck that hurt.” Changbin turned in his seat and grabbed your hand inspecting it. He kissed the back of it and your heart started racing for a completely different reason. 

“I’m so sorry I didn’t get there sooner.” You shook your head.  

“It’s oka-” Changbin was really upset. 

“No! It’s not! No one should be talked to the way he talked to you, and I should have been there to protect you from him.” You continued to shake your head. 

“You didn’t know he would show up there anymore than I did. How are you supposed to stop what neither of us saw coming Binnie?” He looked up at you, tears in his eyes and your heart broke. 

“You... I... umm...” He was getting choked up. You leaned in and held his face in between your hands, your palms pressed against his soft cheeks. You pressed your forehead to his, you both closed your eyes taking a few deep breaths. 

“Changbin...” His name was only a whisper of a breath and then your lips were softly pressed together. Changbin’s hands held your face in place as he tilted his head and deepened the kiss. Before long tongues and teeth were in a battle for dominance that no one was winning. You finally broke apart breathless and laughing. Changbin pecked your lips again. 

“You know none of that is true right? Not one word of it.” You shook your head, but Changbin could tell you weren’t so sure. He let it go for the moment because right then he was just concerned about you being safe. 

“Why don’t you come back to mine for the night? I don’t want to leave you alone in that house after he just pulled that shit. I can sleep on my couch, and you can take my bed.” You leaned over and kissed Changbin sweetly again, but goosebumps spread over his body and his dick got a little hard when your hand slid across his thigh. 

“Or we could share the bed?” Changbin smiled, grabbed your face and then kissed you again, getting lost in your lips until you gently pushed him back laughing. 

“The sooner we get to yours the sooner we can...” You didn’t have to say another single letter of a single solitary word before Changbin was starting the car and driving to his place as quickly and safely as possible. Changbin lived in a loft style studio apartment. The lighting was warm, and it smelled a little like cinnamon. He led you through his living area towards the steps of the loft, where his bedroom was. 

“You look absolutely gorgeous tonight y/n.” You smiled but it was hard for you to accept the compliment. You looked away but Changbin wasn’t going to let you shy away from the truth anymore that night. 

“Look at me baby.” Your eyes instantly connected with his and he smiled sweetly. 

“Good girl.” Your panties were already wet but that sealed the deal.  

“I’m implementing a rule tonight, you must follow or be punished.” You looked at him with an eyebrow raised. 

“Punished?” He smirked and winked at you. 

“Yes punished. Now would you like to know the rule beautiful?” You shied away again when he called you that. 

“That. There. You have to accept every praise I give you tonight. Every single one. If you don’t... well... we’ll deal with that if we get to it. I’m gonna call you beautiful.” Changbin kissed your cheek and you started to blush but didn’t turn away. 

“I’m gonna tell you, you’re a goddess.” He kissed your other cheek and that time you did look away. 

“Aht aht ahh. Eyes.” You looked into his eyes. 

“I’m gonna tell you that you’re sexy.” He threaded his fingers into your hair and kissed your lips passionately. 

“You’re so fucking sexy.” He kissed you again and you were more breathless by the minute. Finally, Changbin forced himself to stop. He held your face as he chewed at his kiss swollen lips. 

“We’re gonna take our time tonight baby. I’m gonna kiss and lick every inch of this gorgeous body while I worship it. I’m going to make you cum again, and again, and again.” He kissed down your neck between his words. 

“Are you okay with all of that y/n?” He was looking at you seriously, the stern assertive Changbin that had just been dictating the plans for night was on pause and this was the sweet guy that wrapped your ankle and cried because he thought he didn’t protect you. The man that, when he found out you hated yourself fucked you senseless and told you how stunning you were. 

“Yes, Binnie I’m okay with that.” He smiled and his thumb traced your cheek. 

“Good, good girl. Let's start with you sitting on the edge of the bed over here for me.” Changbin led you to the huge custom bed that took up most of the loft and had you sit. He knelt in front of you just like he had the day before, and just like the day before took your foot in his hand, the very one you had twisted. His fingers delicately handled the clasp of your shoe as he undid it and slid the clunky heel off your foot. He gently pressed his thumbs into the sole of your foot and pushed up and down. After a moment of massaging, he placed your foot down and when he went to grab the other. His eyes couldn’t help but be drawn to the apex of your legs that hid beneath that sexy ass dress you had on. He bit his bottom lip, then grabbed your other foot and removed that shoe just as gently, pressing his thumbs back and forth in the sole of that foot as well. 

“Stand.” It was not a request. You did as you were told quickly and Changbin smiled at you sweetly. 

“Good. The dress, take it off.” Again, not a request. You had hoped something like this might happen tonight, so you had come prepared. You turned facing your back to Changbin. 

“Unzip me please?” That lip of his was going to be raw if he kept chewing on it that way. 

“God you’re so sweet aren’t you. Asking so nicely. Yes, baby I’ll unzip you.” Changbin’s fingers grabbed the tiny zipper and pulled down, then he stepped back. You pulled it down the shoulders of the dress, took an arm out of one of the sheer sleeves, and then the other then you slid it down and let it fall to the ground. Changbin was already speechless, and you hadn’t even turned around. When you did, he had not been properly prepared for what he saw. There you stood in a green lace bra and garter belt; how had he not seen those garters? The bra you wore had garters of its own in a way, towards the center of each cup there was a strap that connected to your shoulder strap. Changbin loved the way the opening let your soft skin show through. Seeing you in it made him want to tie you up really badly for some reason, but that would be for another time hopefully. 

“What’s this beautiful?” You almost looked away but stopped just before and Changbin smiled. 

“I wanted to wear something you would want to take off with your teeth.” Changbin turned his head, closed his eyes and bit his knuckles.  

“Fuck baby. If that’s what you want, that’s what you get. Let’s get some of these clothes off of me too hmm?” You nodded and licked your lips at the thought of seeing his firm, broad chest. 

“Do you want to do it?” Changbin asked with a smirk. You smiled back and shook your head. 

“Well go on beautiful. Have your way with me.” You laughed and then started pushing the sheer shirt off of him. When his arms were free of it you tossed it on a chair in his room. Next was the tank top. You grabbed the hem and looked up at Changbin with those sweet doe eyes. 

“Arms up please.” He lifted his arms, and you pulled the tank top up and over his head. As soon as the soft skin of Changbin’s chest was visible you couldn’t help but place kisses across his neck and collar bone. He enjoyed it for a moment and let you but then stopped you. 

“We’ll get to that baby, but for now, lay back on that bed for me gorgeous.” You sat on the bed, slid back, and laid down just like Changbin had said. 

“Fuck you’re such a good girl.” Changbin climbed on the bed and propped himself over you. His deep brown eyes bore into you for a moment before he gently kissed you. He ran his hand gently across your cheek. 

“If anything gets to be too much you just say red, and we stop everything immediately, okay?” You nodded. 

“I need words for this baby. If it's too much...” You finished the sentence. 

“Say red and we’ll stop.” Changbin kissed you softly again. 

“Good.” His hands started migrating as he crawled down between your legs. 

“You know what’s the most fun about lingerie?” You shook your head no and Changbin unsnapped one of your garters with his teeth. 

“Taking it off you.” You could feel yourself getting wetter with every word coming from him. He kissed your soft thigh and then unsnapped the other garter, kissing that thigh as well. He rolled your stocking down and off, tossing them aside. Changbin laid between your legs his face hovering right over your cunt. He placed a kiss over your panties. 

“So sweet. Lift up those legs for me baby I’m gonna get these panties out of our way and I want to see that pretty pussy. You’re soaked for me aren’t you baby? I know you are cause these panties are drenched.” You could feel your body getting warmer and lifted your legs. Changbin slid your panties off and shoved them in the pocket of his pants. 

“I’ll just hold onto those.” He pushed your thighs apart a little and you jumped when he ran his tongue through your folds unexpectedly. He hooked his arms around your thighs and pulled you close. 

“Yum.” Was all he said before diving back in. He started going down on you like it was his only purpose in life. He would gently lick your clit and then suck and hum hard against your cunt.  

“Oh my god Bin, FUCK! That’s so good baby, PLEASE don’t stop!” Changbin drank in every bit of what you gave him and then slid two fingers inside you causing your hips to try and buck up. He splayed his other hand firmly across your soft tummy and held you down as he played your pussy like a harmonica and finger fucked you into a mind-blowing orgasm. 

“FUUUUCKfuck fuck! Yes, oh my god yes that... right there... fuuuuck!” Changbin gently licked you through your peak and only stopped when you stopped shaking. He kissed his way back up your body. Your soft tummy rolls, he pulled the cups of your bra down and your breasts poked out through the strappy openings. Changbin sucked one nipple into his mouth swirling his tongue around it and then gave the other similar attention both perked and hard by the time he was done. He unhooked your bra and tossed it aside with the rest of your clothes. His trail of kisses continued up your chest and neck until he was propped over you again. He leaned down and kissed your lips, his tongue invading your mouth, his teeth pulling at your lip. Changbin’s lips hovered over yours closely and when he spoke, they ghosted against yours. 

“Such a good girl coming for me like that... so sweet on my tongue. A fucking goddess look at you lay there like an angel. Now beautiful I have a question for you... have you ever tried anal beads?” Your breathing hitched and Changbin wanted to be clear. 

“If you don’t want to just say no. Seriously. I just think you would love it if you tried it with me but if that’s out of your comfort zone we’ll can move on no problem.” You chewed on your lips and considered it. 

“It won’t hurt?” Changbin shook his head no. 

“It might feel a little funny at first but then it’s going to feel really good. I have beginner’s beads too do you want to see what they look like?” You nodded. You never thought you would be into anything to do with anal, but you remember how good it felt when Changbin rubbed your asshole the last time he fucked you, so you were intrigued. Changbin got up from the bed for a moment, walked over to his dresser and opened the top drawer. He pulled out a couple of things then took off his pants and the black briefs as he made his way back over to you on the bed. When Changbin set his arsenal down you saw what he had grabbed. There was a small set of silicone beads strung together, one just a bit bigger than the next, the biggest only the size of a grape. He had brought a bottle of lube, some condoms and there was one other thing that had you clenching, ready when you saw it. A finger vibrator.  

“Does everything here look okay, anything you want me to take away?” He wanted to be sure you were one hundred percent on board with everything. 

“Everything looks fine Bin.” He smiled and then the Dom side of him came right back. 

“Bend over on all fours for me pretty girl.” You turned over and got on your hands and knees presenting your ass to Changbin. He pulled your garter belt over your ass and off then spanked your ass cheek enough to leave a handprint. You squealed a little and laughed. Then he spread your ass cheeks leaned down and gently flicked the tip of his tongue against your asshole. It made you clench around nothing. 

“Fuck Binnie! MMmm that feels so good!” He pulled away a second. 

“Told you baby.” Changbin sat back up and spit on your hole before grabbing the beads and lube. He squirt a generous amount on the beads and rubbed some around your asshole too. 

“You sure baby? You ready?” You shook your head. 

“Yes Binnie, want it.” Changbin started to push the first few beads in. It felt a little funny like he said but good too. He pushed a few more in and it felt even better. 

“Mmmm fuck Changbin that feels good baby!” He rubbed your ass cheek as he pushed the last few beads in a pull ring now protruding from your asshole. He grabbed a condom and rolled it down his shaft before lining up with your soaked pussy. He teased the entrance with his tip, and it made you clench again but this time with the beads in your ass it felt amazing. 

“Fuck stick it in Binnie PLEASE!” Changbin pushed the tip of his cock in, and you could feel how he rubbed up against the toy in your ass. It was a mind-blowing sensation. Changbin bottomed out in you and then pressed his hips into your ass slightly adding pressure to the beads making you clench around his dick. 

“Does that feel good hmm?” He spanked your ass again and again the feeling you got from the beads inside you sent waves of pleasure pulsing through your body. You clenched on his cock again and this time Changbin let out the most delicious sounding moan. 

“Fuck baby girl if you don’t stop clenching like that, I’m gonna blow way too soon.” He laughed, pulled out and pushed back in and fuck did it feel amazing. Every thrust felt better than the last. Changbin started out fairly easy on you, a steady pace and an ass smack here and there but the more worked up he got the harder he fucked you the more sizzling the spankings became. You leaned forward on your elbows arching your back and pushing your ass out. Two beads came out and it felt unreal when Changbin pushed them back in while he kept fucking your hard and fast. 

“You take my cock so well pretty girl, fuck so sexy, arch that back more, good girl, fuck, my beautiful goddess, my sweet angel.” Changbin grabbed the ring on the beads and pulled them halfway out this time. 

“FUCK! CHANGBIN FUCK!” He smirked and pushed them back in again and you let out a guttural moan that made his cock twitch so hard he thought he was going to cum.  

“Hold on baby.” You gripped the blanket on Changbin’s bed as he grabbed your thick hips with both hands and started fucking you hard sending you reeling into outer space. Your brain turned into fog and disappeared as you came on Changbin’s cock. He grabbed the ring of the beads with one hand and held onto your hip firmly with the other and continued fucking you hard and fast as he started to slowly pull the beads out one by one and then pushed them in again. 

“Oh, my oh my oh fuck fuck Bin fuck I-I'm cuFUCK! I’m coming!” Changbin started to slow down when your legs started shaking from the over stimulation. He massaged your ass in small circles, slowly dragging his cock in and out, the condom coated in your cum. When he pulled out you whined missing the full feeling you got when Changbin’s cock was inside you. He chuckled and tutted at you. 

“Don’t whine now. Be my good angel and get on your back and spread those legs for me. I wanna see how well I just fucked that hole open.” You rolled over onto your back planted your feet and spread your legs wide for Changbin. He crawled between them and spread your pussy lips looking at your entrance licking his lips. 

“Fuck beautiful how are you still this tight. I guess I’m just gonna have to give you this cock again hmm?” You nodded eagerly and wiggled closer. 

“Yes! Fuck me Bin! Need you inside me again.” Changbin left the anal bead lodged in your ass and started to sink into you again. You both rolled your eyes back and moaned at the feeling of the other. Changbin caged you in between his arms and kissed you as he pulled his cock out and pushed back inside you deep. 

“Fuck baby girl you’re so fucking tight, sucking my cock in every time and look so fucking sexy taking it. You like taking my big cock yea? Fuck look so fucking good underneath me like this.” Changbin started to fuck you harder, his cock rubbing up against the beads inside your ass again that you had almost forgotten about until then. 

“You’re being such a good girl for me, taking my dick hard, letting me play with your asshole, I think you deserve a treat baby.” Changbin reached over and grabbed the finger massager, slid it on his finger and turned it on. 

“Get ready to blast off gorgeous.” Changbin’s free hand gripped the soft roll above your hip as he sunk into deep and hard then he pressed the vibrator against your clit, and it felt like static electricity was surrounding your body.  

“That’s it beautiful let go fucking let go on me, fucking cum do it! Cum for me angel!” He kept fucking you deep and hard, his cock hitting your g spot and the anal beads inside you, his hips thrusting against you pushing them deeper into your ass and the vibrator he was firmly pressing against your clit buzzing throughout your whole body. 

“Bin! Changbin! I’m I... It feels... FUCK!” You couldn’t get another word out before you started coming and squirting all over Changbin. The force of the intense orgasm started to push out a couple of the anal beads and forced Changbin’s cock out of your pussy. He grabbed his dick and slapped it against your clit as you shook and convulsed through the best orgasm of your life. 

“Fuck baby I didn’t know you could do that!” You laughed as you tried and failed to catch your breath. Your big breasts heaving up and down with your breaths. 

“Me either! FUCK!” Changbin laughed, leaned down and kissed you sweetly. 

“You need a break?” You shook your head no and pushed him onto his back and climbed on top of him. 

“No it’s time to make you cum now Binnie. You made me feel so fucking good now I’m gonna make you cum for me.” You grabbed Changbin’s cock slid it through your juices and then sat on it. Changbin threw his head back into the mattress when you took his cock whole like that. You leaned over and braced yourself on his firm pecs as you started grinding and riding him like you were a part time porn star. 

“Fuck baby girl I’m not gonna last long like this FUCK!” You doubled your efforts riding him faster. It felt so good for you too. You were so sensitive still and Changbin’s cock constantly rubbed against your g spot and the anal beads in this position. It was a good thing he didn’t think he’d last long because you knew you wouldn’t. 

Your orgasm crept up on you suddenly and you shook on top of Changbin as he grabbed your hips and pushed you back and forth forcing you ride it out for as long as possible into overstimulation again. When you came back down from your fourth orgasm, you reached back and started rolling his balls in your hands as you sat on his whole cock. His balls were drenched in your cum and Changbin was losing his mind underneath you. 

“FUCKFUCKFUckfuck!” You smiled and kept at it, loving the reaction you were getting out of him. 

“Are you close for me Binnie baby? Are you gonna cum? Where do you want to cum Bin?” His eyes shot open surprised to hear you ask that. He just assumed he’d bust in the condom this time, but you were opening the door for an option Changbin had fantasized about with you. 

“Gonna cum FUCK! W-wanna cum in your mouth, wanna watch you swallow my load and show me.” You smirked and got off of Changbin and got on your knees on the bed. Changbin stood up and pulled the condom off. You grabbed his cock firmly and took him into your mouth. 

“FUCK! Oh, my goooooood fucking suck me yes! Play with my balls baby yes!” Changbin threaded his fingers into your hair and gently thrusted into your throat. You gagged and he started to pull out, but you took him further gagging and drooling on his cock. You pulled off and stroked his cock hard and fast looking up at him sweetly while he pet your hair, pushing it out of your face. 

“Cum in my mouth Binnie wanna taste you.” You stuck your tongue out and rubbed the tip of his dick against his as you continued to jack him off.  

“Fuck I’m gonna cum baby open up.” Changbin grabbed his cock and started stroking the head quickly as he aimed for your open mouth, your tongue stuck out eager for his load. He held your head with his free hand and started coming. The first streak hit your lips and nose. He aimed down, and the rest all filled your mouth. Changbin gave you a big load. You held it all in your mouth with your head tilted back, showing him. 

“God damn fucking goddess of my dreams Jesus fuck!” He twitched and shook. He looked down at you swiped the cum from your nose and lip and pushed it into your mouth with the rest of his load. 

“Swallow for me beautiful, show me that tongue.” You closed your mouth and swallowed Changbin’s cum then opened up, stuck out your tongue and showed him the pink muscle in your mouth. You fell back on the bed after and Changbin knelt back down and followed suit flopping down next to you on the bed. You both laid there catching your breath for a minute then you both started to laugh hysterically, slap happily from all the endorphins released. Changbin sat up, pushed your hair away from your face again and kissed you softly. He started to get up and go downstairs. You sat up quickly. 

“What are you doing?” He smiled back at you. 

“I’m gonna run us a bubble bath I’ll call for you when it’s ready.” He blew you a kiss and you fell back on the bed again still chuckling a little. When the bath was ready Changbin called you down. You carefully made your way down the stairs on your legs made of jelly. Changbin got in first and then you sat between his legs. You rested against his firm chest, and he helped wash you. The bath was perfect and exactly what you needed after that super intense sex. While you dried off Changbin went to change the bedding and when you got back up to the loft, he was already back in bed waiting for you, looking half asleep already. You crawled into bed and next to him. He wrapped his arms around you and kissed the top of your head. Changbin watched as you drifted off to sleep in his arms. When he was certain you were asleep, he kissed your forehead and whispered a sleepy bedtime confession before passing out. 

“I think I’m falling in love with you y/n.” 

You were standing in front of a mirror in an outfit that you never thought you would wear again. Your champagne-colored wedding gown was as extravagant as you would imagine for a Seo wedding. A full skirt and train, the most delicate beading, with a scoop neck corset that came off your shoulders. Changbin just wanted you to feel like a princess on your day and you did. A thin veil matching the color of your dress was being adjusted by Changbin’s sister, who was your maid of honor. You had become friends fast after she had crashed a date of yours and her brother’s and introduced herself to you. You’ve been each other’s accomplice ever since. 

Changbin smoothed the shoulders of his champagne-colored shirt, pulled down the hem of his burgundy double breasted waist coat and threw on his matching blazer over it, taking a deep breath to steady his nerves. He wasn’t scared to get married; he knew more than anything, he wanted to spend the rest of his life with you, but he was going to have to read his vows to you in front of a lot of people and that made him nervous. His friends being there helped, they would be standing up there supporting him and you, you would be up there. God he couldn’t wait to see you. His sister said your dress was amazing but that’s all she would say not wanting to ruin the surprise. As Changbin adjusted his cufflinks the best man, Chan, came back into the room. 

“Well, they said they’re ready for ya Bin. You ready brother?” Changbin nodded. 

“Since the day I met her hyung. Let’s go.” He affectionately clapped Chan’s shoulder as the groomsmen and him made their way to their positions in the venue. You, Changbin’s sister and a few of your closest friends got into your positions as well. Two huge wooden doors were now the only thing blocking you from the man you loved. You heard Israel Kamakawiwo’ole’s Over the Rainbow start and you knew it was all about to happen. When you were at this point at your wedding with your ex-husband you remembered having cold feet, a voice deep inside you telling you it was a mistake. Right now, as you were about to walk down the aisle, your feet were made of fire, you had never been so certain of your love for another person as you were of your love for Changbin. 

The large doors opened outward and the moment Changbin saw you tears started to rim his eyes. The song that sang of wishing upon a star was perfect because Changbin had been a dream come true for you after years of suffering and torment. Changbin blinked, fat tears rolled down his cheeks and you could feel your own eyes betraying you at the sight of this gorgeous kindhearted man crying. He looked absolutely unreal in his suit, but Changbin couldn’t breathe, you looked so beautiful. Chan handed him a hanky and he dabbed the tears from his face and sniffled a bit. When you stood in front of Changbin he leaned in and kissed your cheek softly. 

“You look...” He teared up again and you grabbed the hanky from him and gently wiped them away. You kissed his cheek back. 

“You too Binnie.” He smiled at you and his dimple popped out. The ceremony began just like any wedding ceremony does and then came your vows. You both decided you wanted to write them, the others were nice and all, but you wanted these words for each other to come from your hearts. Changbin went first. 

“y/n I didn’t realize I had a piece missing in my life until you. The first time we met, I knew I would marry you one day. Then every day after just strengthened that certainty. I played the long game baby and I’m definitely the one winning the prize. I was always told that true love was loving every piece of your partner, even the hard to love parts. Well, they were wrong. I love every piece of you y/n, there is not a single part of you that is hard to love. You are so selfless. You take care of not only me but our home and our dogs. You have strong jutdae. You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever known, and I can’t believe that I get to call you my wife after today. I love you y/n.” You had tears streaking your face, Changbin took the hanky back from you again and wiped them, then gave you a kiss on the nose and you laughed. Then it was your turn. 

“Seo Changbin, at my lowest point in life you showed me something inside myself that I had lost. It was not an easy task, but you tackled it head on with jutdae and showed me how to love myself again. Not only did you do that but then you showed up on my doorstep with Edgar and Allen. I was certain I was dreaming. I had searched everywhere for them and had no luck and there you were with my boys. I knew right then that I was gonna spend the rest of my life with you. Changbin, Binnie, you work on yourself everyday inside and out. You might have big muscley arms, but I have no doubt that your heart is the biggest muscle you have. You love me so completely, so wholly, there is no room for doubt inside me anymore. So, thank you my sweet husband for loving me even when I couldn’t love myself. I love you Binnie.” Changbin’s bottom lip quivered as tears streaked his face it was your turn to peck his nose and he wiped his eyes. You both held each other’s hands and looked at your friend Minho who was officiating the ceremony. 

“Do you Seo Changbin take y/l/n y/n to be your wife for now and always?” Changbin had the biggest smile on his face. 

“Yes, always.” You could feel your face flush still to this day when he smiled at you like that, beaming. Chan handed him your ring, a white gold diamond ring in a double halo setting, and he slid it on your finger. 

“Do you y/l/n y/n take Seo Changbin to be your husband for now and always?” You nodded immediately. 

“Yes, always.” Changbin bit his lip as he smiled uncontrollably while you slid his ring on, a simple white gold band lined with diamonds across the front. 

“By the power vested in me, for some reason, you are now Husband and Wife. Bin you can kiss your bride.” One of Changbin’s arms wrapped around your waist and he dipped you as he cupped your face and kissed you deeply. Cheers and applause erupted from the guests and the wedding party alike. You and Changbin turned to the crowd of your friends and family. He raised your joined hands in the air and announced very loudly in typical Changbin fashion. 

“I just got married! Let’s PARTY!!” 

Please do not repost or translate any of my works. My blog and stories are NSFW and 18+ ONLY! Minors, ageless, and blank blogs will be blocked!

[ilynpilled]

the thing about show jaime is that he underwent severe bowdlerization from the beginning along with the boring stagnation and general arc destruction whatever that kicks in full force later on. like as much as i agree that they removed/ruined many positive aspects of his (and added a bunch of nonsense show only actions, or even changed the core of scenes to force him in certain directions) it also really bugs me how digestible they made him in a lot of ways. nothing burger. like i knew something was not right from the start with that ned/jaime scene. ik george does not have as much beef with that shit as i do but god i hate it i hate it so much. why was he bordering on “villainous anti-hero rival” instead of the genuinely horridly cruel coward he was that had his personal baggage and complex with ned bleeding right into the concern regarding the tyrion situation in abhorrent ways. he is trying to reinforce his moral nihilism in every way. instead they just had a generic ‘muh honorable duel’ cock fight type interaction right on my screen (dumb bc again if he actually kills ned tyrion is doomed). like i can excuse the loss of atmosphere and accuracy like ok budget constraints etc and as much as i could jokingly complain about how jaime would have cut that man down in seconds in a fight idgaf about that it is the fact that the writers were already making him into someone ‘likeable’ and doing it in the most surface level boring way imaginable. it also just makes his character kind of incoherent bc he is supposed to be disillusioned and pretty morally nihilistic. i get that you cannot recreate the type of unveiling of depth that is present in the books because you can’t replicate the pov structure in tv that easily, but you could try to do something. framing is also integral to jaime’s character to me. and they kept dropping in things like this that framed him as more ‘sympathetic’ to hint at depth, but it ultimately made his overall narrative so much more generic. jaime is so much more functional if we do not know him and if he completely buries his ‘self’ and we only see him framed extremely negatively by the protagonists (and by what he presents himself as outside of the context of his perspective, what he is at that point: what his rationalization of his own amorality is). jaime is at his lowest point in that book, his alter-ego, one that ned himself (and what he embodied in jaime’s mind when he was 17) is at the origin of, seeped into his actual identity entirely. that scene in particular is in a lot of ways the epitome of that because it is a confrontation with ned himself. and aerys is such an emphasized underlying tension in that scene in the books. jaime brings it up, ned fixates on his sword and makes the connection: the baggage cannot be removed. it is annoying to me because a part that i really love about jaime’s character construction is perception and how your real self is affected by how you are viewed. how that works so well thematically with this whole thing about heroes, villains, knights, myths, songs, and how figures are framed & idealized/dehumanized. the wildfire plot as a reveal is also about framing and recontexualization. if you contradict so much of this so early and make him into a digestible villainous rival anti-hero in a confrontation with ned of all people it becomes more generic and nothing burger. the scene also just removes the weight of jory’s death in particular. i know thrones was always obsessed with making flawed terrible no good protagonists less flawed and easier to like (and this is not only about morality, it is also about a ‘badass’ factor, i liked that in the books jaime left the scene, he didn’t even do the killing that he ordered [juxtaposing ned on purpose] he wants to shit on everything ned stands for to enable his own moral corruption and reinforce his moral nihilism) bc they were worried about jumpscaring the audience but ugh. ok rant over im convinced im like the only person on this planet who is this insufferably pretentious book purist about this scene of all scenes lmao

[sapphire-weapon]

Okay, so apologies! I am a new fan in a way, I have been playing all the games of Resident Evil or trying at least. I have played through Resident Evil 1 Remake, and currently, I'm in Resident Evil 5. I don't understand why people are so forced to believe the things are the same. Like Ada in the original obviously sells plagas despite Ada Remake obviously has a bit of guilt. And I understand the frustration of Resident Evil 6, especially when the movies are suppose to clarify their story. (Like Damnation is suppose to explain they have met around and why Resident Evil 6 is its sequel for Aeon)

This timeline is stupidly messy. Especially with its useless moments. This world needed a remake, but people are just blinded, still believing everything is the same. Like, people don't care about these characters or their stories. They do realize their characters look like dicks if they continued their old ways. And I don't get why Resident Evil 4 was Leon's, I'm guessing because he was the pretty boy.

It's just pathetic that we don't see Wesker until 5 and we have to play Veronica and revelations to see Wesker. And he fucking dies in 5.

Anyways, I love Chris and Sheva. I'm excited to play 6 to see that mess and see why fans either love or hate this game.

so i'm not sure what you mean by this:

They do realize their characters look like dicks if they continued their old ways. And I don't get why Resident Evil 4 was Leon's, I'm guessing because he was the pretty boy.

and wesker was in 4, so i'm also not sure what you mean by saying "we don't see Wesker until 5."

but as far as the first part is concerned...

me and @godtier had a really long conversation about this a few days ago. on top of the checklist mentality that old fans went into the remakes with, RE2 remake in particular was written how fans remembered the game, and not how the game actually was.

what i mean is.

in OG RE2, leon is kind of a fucking dick. he's an asshole cop with an ego who tries to throw his weight around and then whines when no one follows his authority. but that's not how the fandom remembers him in that game. fandom remembers him as being a naive optimistic Good Boy uwu who gets screwed over big time and doesn't deserve it. so that's how the remake was written.

in OG RE2, ada's actually kind of soft and well-mannered, and the affection that she shows for leon is genuine. but that's not how fandom remembers her in that game. fandom remembers her as being That Spy Bitch Who Manipulated Leon. so that's how the remake was written.

in OG RE2, claire is a nice girl with an exceptional amount of patience who tries to give everyone the benefit of the doubt. but that's not how fandom remembers her in that game. fandom remembers her as A Redfield(TM) with a short temper who doesn't take any shit. so that's how the remake was written.

so when you have the game being written in a way that matches up with people's (false) memories in addition to the checklist mentality that fans went into the game with, yeah, you get people going "this is exactly how it was in OG."

what blows my mind is that new fans buy into this, too, when they're the ones who should be listening to the bullshit old fans are saying and going "but that's not true."

[riverdale-retread]

Riverdale S7 E6 Peep Show.

The episode opens with Jughead in bed reading comic books with the editorial condemning  those same comic books.  This is the second or third time they’ve shown Jughead Jones in his tight-fitting long johns in bed, reading.  Is this- is this supposed to be fanservice for the Jughead girlies? (Of which I admit I am one).  But I mean, Is it?  The only other character I can recall who was regularly shown in this sort of underwear is Goofy from Disney.  This is an odd choice, because so much of this episode revolves around showing bodies and how best to showcase them in underwear.  

Anyway, as Jughead reads a Pep Comic issue which seems to be titled “Things [of?] Darkness,” he is suddenly reminded of something written by his “favorite pulp writer of all time, Brad Rayberry.” He picks up a volume of November County and Other stories by the same author, looking very concerned.

Immediately, he runs over to the publishing house to yell at his publisher about being a plagiarist.   Jughead always does this in every universe - oh I’m suddenly sad I won’t be able to say this anymore after this season! Sob! - when he has a suspicion:   He goes straight to the suspected perpetrator of whatever the crime or misdeed is and confronts then forthwith, but without any sort of plan as to what he’ll do if they deny it, which they invariably do, or how he will cope with the consequences of launching such a frontal attack.  Betty and Archie are physically reckless, but Jughead is existentially reckless.

His publisher says that plagiarism is a word they don’t use at the publishing house (which is such a great side step. Did Mr. Publisher have a former career as a lawyer?) Then he makes up a story about how he tried to reach out to the proper author but then conveniently presumed said author was dead based on the lack of response.  Which doesn’t justify plagiarism but he seems to think it does.

We are with Archie as he, along with me, tries to endure the unwelcome imposition that Uncle Frank is in his house.  I’ve always despised Uncle Frank, and honestly, them showing me that he would have been even worse in the 1950s does not make me hate any iteration of him less by one iota. Archie is trying to fix his car, but Frank says he is “concerned.”  He lays out all of Archie’s flaws, which are that he is a middling student, lying, not pulling his weight around the house, and the “business with the Blossom girl.”

Sir? Sir!  I object.  The lying & business with the Blossom girl was the exact opposite of a concerning lie, is it not?  It turns out both are still technically virgins, which is what you all probably care most about, and he did it to save her and he went along with you all trying to force him to get married at 17!  Anyway, Frank is a right piece of shit, because he pokes at Archie’s grief with “How do you think your dad would feel?”

Well sir, Archie may not know this but since I watched all previous seasons of Riverdale with close attention several times over, I know exactly how Fred would feel, and he indeed would feel proud of Archie. That was kind of Fred’s problem - even when he was annoyed at Archie, he was never less than proud.  

Apparently, Frank was present when Fred took his leave of Archie to go “off to war” because he knows what the instructions were - “Take care of Mom and be the man of the house.” 

I would have been much happier if Frank had died in the Korean War, and I’m sure Archie agrees.  I’m also pretty sure that Fred DID NOT MEAN to burden his actual child with this sort of thing. He was trying to give his child something else to focus on rather than worry daily about his father 8,000 miles away.  Frank as far as I can tell has no family of his own, so again, this business of childless men lecturing about or at other people’s children?  Bah humbug, honestly. Maybe this is my being raised intensely Catholic while female, but honestly, this type of man should simply never ever say anything at all about children, child bearing, reproduction and so on. 

So Archie, looking like he has a gun pointed to the back of his head (which is Frank staring into it like a psycho) apologizes to his mother about not being a ‘better son.’ I’m also back to very much disliking Mary Andrews. She is a bad mom. Why would you farm out actually raising your kid to FRANK of all people?  Ugh.   WHAT KIND OF MOTHER HAVE YOU BEEN MARY ANDREWS?  Have you thought about that?? She’s been weak as shit against people like the Blossoms, arbitrary & unpredictable in her rule enforcement and generally a shitty parent. 

Next door, Betty is sadly getting ready for school.  I want to look inside Betty’s closet this season. She alway has a perfectly color coordinated belt or scarf (sometimes the same color, sometimes a wonderful contrast color) to go with her outfit.  She looks across the way and is completely verklempt at the view of Archie’s moist abs, fresh from the shower.  The music can’t possibly be 1950s- there’s synths and stuff.  The song says “I feel so…. GOOOD.’  I can’t relate, but her vision is so good that she is capable of focusing on his happy trail from a whole house away.   If only we all looked as pretty as she does (I LOVE the Grace kelly type hairdo she has happening) while agog with lust. 

At school, in the locker room, the girls are putting on their gym outfits.  What sort of sports can you play  in outfits like these, by the way?  Stiff yellow button down shirts with puffy sleeves tucked into high waisted bermuda shorts that barely cover your butt cheeks?  These shorts are even belted tight at the waist.  

In the sweetest, most kittenish way possible, Betty asks Veronica, “What’s sex like?”

…. I mean. OK. Lemme breathe. Because that was so like, the perfect delivery for a very by-the-books porno, no?  Gorgeous blonde horny girl goes “What’s sex like?” while leaning forward, blinking winsomely with huge eyes.  And she’s not even aware of the effect she has.  What is GOING ON.

So Veronica is understandably shocked (hc: turned on and not out to herself) (Why is TONI not picking up on these vibes to invite Veronica for a cuppa at the Dark Room already?  Is this because they are both tops??)  but only gently says that it’s a bit early in the morning for this sort of talk (“I’ve barely just had my morning java!”).  What happens next is a huge part of why I adore Veronica Lodge above all girls but especially Betty (who, even if not this season, is for plot reasons not all that big on truth telling):  She meets truth and candor with truth and candor.  When Betty says she doesn’t know what sex is like and would like to hear, which is a pretty brave thing to ask someone, Veronica responds with the same attitude to confess that she herself is still a virgin.   Betty has the absolute perfect come-back:  I just assumed because you’re just so sexy!   Betty really knows how to talk to a girl!  

I suppose the idea is that the 1950s were a super repressed time in America (which I don’t think it actually was in actuality but OK) such that even the sensual Veronica Lodge is - gasp! - still a virgin  but actually since this is reflective of my own high school experience I found it very comforting to have it represented on the screen.   “You don’t have to have sex to be sexy,” is what Veronica says. 

Betty would like advice on how to carry herself more like Veronica.   Veronica suggests perfume and heels, then brings out the idea of sexy lingerie.  “Soft fabric against my skin” is what she says as some horny trumpeteer goes “Wah wah Waaaaah” in the background.  OK so I guess I’ve tried out the wrong kinds of lingerie because that shit was itchy as fuck.   Veronica walks her fingers flirtatiously up Betty’s arm as she says, “Say, why don’t you give lingerie a twirl?”  Betty looks very turned on, first just by the purring way Veronica is talking about being sexy, second about the idea of Veronica in lingerie that makes her already perfect body “look fantastic” and about doing something sexual with Veronica. I mean possibly also I guess she is excited about having a guide to learn about lingerie but that’s like below tertiary.   Betty is going to go over to Veronica’s later to try on her used underwear (which I find a strange idea but ok).

At the student lounge, Cheryl approaches Toni to give her the lesbian pulp novel back. Cheryl insists on calling her “Antoinette.”   I am insane for all these fabulous belts these girls are all wearing this season.  I love the gloss on the red patent leather one that Cheryl is sporting.   When asked what she thinks about the lesbian pulp classic (the real world version of which was one of the rare ones where neither woman died for being gay at the end), she responds to the cover art using very distant artsy language as in, Cheryl finds “two voluptuous, feminine forms in close proximity to each other” quite pleasant.   Toni pulls out her go-to pick up line for Riverdale girls:  She asks the girl to go to the Dark Room for a coffee.   See, I knew Toni was trying to put the moves on Betty when she was consoling her after the dumping of Kevin!  

Cheryl refuses - “Oh I couldn’t *possibly!” - and that’s because she’s too busy “relaunching the Vixens.”  She needles Toni about finding cheerleading “far too square,” essentially daring her to try out for the squad.

The hostage situation with Archie and Uncle Fucking Frank continues, this time at the Principal’s office.  Uncle Fucking Frank is still standing executioner distance behind Archie.  Archie  is trying to do everything with his face to signal that he is not ok, please help, while saying what his abductor wants him to say: “I wanna be at least a B student.”  His principal is too dim to catch these hints, and anyway he’s probably turned on by the weird dominance thing that he’s witnessing right this minute.  It turns out Uncle Fucking Frank is in cahoots with this asshole, the principal, enough to have private conversations with him!

At the tryouts for the cheerleading squad, Cheryl is holding court.  Evelyn Evernever is there! She’s already a cheerleader.  Welcome back Evelyn! I hope you’re unhinged and evil in this world too!

Toni bursts in like Aragorn, pushing the double doors wide open.  The song playing in the soundtrack (probably in Cheryl’s head) states: It’s Too Darn Hot as Toni smugly makes her slo-mo entrance looking, actually, Too Darn Hot.   Cheryl is so happy to see Toni, and is extra happy because she put on her blazing red lipstick just in case Toni showed up (she had more of a nude lip earlier in the day for their initial encounter).  She’s also forbidden Evenlyn from wearing her reddish hair down, lol.  Evelyn condescendingly tells Toni that she’s not “on the list” so she can’t try out, but Cheryl overrules her (because it’s never a cheerocracy!).   

The two lesbians smile adoring at each other.  Something about just breathing the air with Toni on her home ground (as a cheerleader) makes Cheryl glow like a Renaissance angel.  Toni actually has a routine prepared, and we go to it.   Cheryl watches all of Toni’s tryout routine in a totally horny haze, slowing it down in her mind as she almost drools.  The song is also egging her on - something something “Refill the cup with my baby tonight” and “I’d like to sup with my baby tonight” etc  which are all statements about cunnilingus.  The room gets all dark for her.   She doesn’t have the orgasm (of the mind) that she did the first time she watched Toni do a dance routine, but it’s close.  Cheryl says this whole performance “razzed her berries.”  This means looking at Toni made her nips tingle.   Then she adds that “I haven’t seen pompom technique like that in years” which means she can tell Toni is (like all dykes) great with her hands. 

Evelyn is making a very sour face behind her. Somehow Cheryl knows this, so she says since she “alone” speaks for the Vixens, she immediately offers Toni a spot on the team.  Evelyn tries to make a case for procedural fairness only to get screamed at.  The other girls all welcome Toni to the team.

At the dinner table, Uncle Fucking Frank makes a terrible announcement.  “It looks like I’m going to be sticking around for a while.”  Oh no. OH NO.  Why?  Because Principal Featherhead asked him “to be the basketball team’s head coach.”  I’m horrified.  Also Frank is short and stocky.  I know zip about sports but isn’t basketball for tall lean people? 

So Uncle Fucking Frank has no family - not even a lady - and no kids and he just moved into his brother’s widow’s house to bully his nephew, and because all this is not enough, he begged his way into getting a job at this nephew’s school.  “Asked me” my ass  What the fuck is his fixation on Archie?  

Archie understandably says he doesn’t want to play basketball while Frank is gonna be coach.  Not playing is not a way out  of the Uncle Fucking Frank close contact - if Archie won’t play, then he can be waterboy.  What is happening? I hate Mary so much.  See, I knew, I KNEW that my being OK with Mary Andrews was not going to last.  Why the fuck did she even have this child? Ugh. 

At Veronica’s, Betty is feeling shy about showing how she looks in Veronica’s underwear, though she wasn’t shy about wearing Veronica’s underwear to begin with.  Did they go shopping? Is this NEW underwear?  Be that as it may, Veronica looks very eager on the bed, quaffing mimosas, and eating chocolates.  When Betty finally emerges, Veronica’s eyes light up.  “I knew it would look perfect on you!”   The problem is, Betty feels embarrassed, which Veronica doesn’t understand.  Looking like Bettie Page exactly, Veronica says, “Bettie Page herself would go ape for you.” Bettie Page’s personal orientation was not, uh, lesbian so that is a weird thing to say, Veronica.  Just say you want to fuck Betty.    Even though Betty looks close to tears, Veronica wants to keep looking at her, so makes her come in front of the mirror so she can keep looking at her under the guise of giving her some sort of sexual koan:  “I am a gorgeous, powerful, sexy siren, at the height of my womanly powers.”  I mean, this is very sweet, but I did have a flashback to Hannah Gadsby going - *I* am in my prime!! *I* am in my prime!! - meaning her 40-something self. The koan does work on Betty though, who is actually persuaded by the end.

Jughead has straight up gone to see the author Rayberry.  He introduces himself as a writer at Pep Comics, then bluntly says “they’re ripping you off.”  Rayberry wants to know why Jughead wants him to sue his own employer.  Jughead is full on fangirling - “I think you’re the tops.”  Even though Rayberry just wants to get rid of him, Jughead won’t take no for an answer, and even though the author looks slovenly while he keeps slamming the door in his face, he doesn’t give up. 

Evelyn has given Cheryl a visit, to say that she is “uncomfortable” with Toni being on the squad not because she’s black (sure?) but because she’s “a lezzie.”  I mean, it’s probably a bit of both right?  Cheryl shuts down both objections - Riverdale has been fully integrated, and Toni Topaz is not… that, so Evelyn needs to “put an egg in your shoe and beat it.”  That is the weirdest way to say that I’ve ever heard. I kinda like it.   Cheryl wants to watch her show which is Oh Mija!

At the Dark Room, Toni is taunted for becoming a “paper shaker” by the Lezzie Lizzo, who is sporting a beret with a studded Serpents jacket.   Lizzo mocks her for “still birddogging that redheaded closet case.”   Toni tries to cover it up with some sort of sanctimonious bullshit - she is now the first ever black cheerleader at Riverdale.  I’m with Lizzo - I don’t believe her one bit.  “Oh so it’s *political* for you! [Much scoffing, then completely insincerely]  Yeah  I got it.  That makes sense.”   But Lizzo says she understands Toni Topaz for knuckling under the white patriarchy’s demeaning demands for women in the interests of getting access to Cheryl’s pussy. She says it nicer than me AND she acknowledges that Cheryl is very hot.  “That’s one cherry lollipop I’d happily lick.”

I knew Lizzo was a good egg the first time I saw her. Why o why won’t Toni give her a chance? And what does Lizzo do all day? How old is she?  Is she a high school drop out??  Can I have more Lizzo and much less Evelyn??? 

The next morning, Archie discovers that Uncle Fucking Frank has confiscated his car, to be returned to him when his “grades are where they should be.”   This is because Uncle Fucking Frank is obsessed with Archie, leading to his wanting to spend every possible moment with him, including the ride to school.  

Veronica is super excited to approach Betty the same morning to ask her exactly what kind of underwear she is wearing.  This is extremely heterosexual behavior among women, right?  Oh, and Veronica acknowledges that the ‘lingerie’ type underwear is neither silky nor comfortable (I mean granted, I haven’t ever tried the like, thousand-dollars a pop La Perla stuff so maybe those are??) - “How will ever get used to lace panties if you don’t wear them every day?” she chastises when it turns out Betty hasn’t put them on today for fear of being seen in them and being thought a “nymphomaniac.”

THIS FEAR IS SPECIFICALLY KEVIN FUCKING KELLER’S FAULT. I HATE YOU SO MUCH KEVIN.

Veronica thinks this whole “nympho” talk was invented by misogynist (gay) men to hurt women.  I agree.  She also diagnoses Betty with “needing a man.”  Usually, this sort of comment is not true about the woman about whom it is said, but Betty actually does need a man.  She is SO horny. 

Betty tells Veronica that she has her eye on Archie.   Veronica doesn’t like it, but she prioritizes Betty’s well being over her own, so rushes her to speak to Archie before Betty can “talk yourself out of it” by which Veronica means “myself.”  

Archie is bent over a book in the student lounge.  While Veronica listens from her hidden vantage point (with Betty’s awareness), Betty, her big bambi eyes brimming with adoration, asks Archie out on a movie date.  Archie actually tells her the truth - he’d love to, but he can’t because of Uncle Fucking Frank.  Veronica’s face falls when he says he’d love to, then brightens when he says he can’t.  Betty doesn’t believe Archie though, at all.  She thinks she’s being rejected.  

She cries about it on Veronica’s shoulder, who continues to say the right and decent thing - that what Archie said might be the truth.  Cheerful now that they have both been apparently rejected by Archie, Veronica suggests that they both find some airheads down at Stonewall Prep to play with.  Betty cheerfully agrees to this plan.

At basketball practice, Julian is being a piece of shit to Archie who is trying to appease Uncle Frank because his mother is blind to the abuse he’s being subjected to.   Why would you leave a child in the care of a childless middle aged uncle?    Mary Andrews makes me so mad.

Evelyn Evernever, looking very ginchy in the ginchiest outfit (I love the 50s cheerleader uniform - cream sweater, navy skirt), breaks into Toni’s locker, immediately finding the lesbian book.  She gets caught red-handed, but is brazen enough to try to confront Toni about her lesbianism.  Cheryl denied it, she tells her.  Toni threatens her with violence, then insists that Evelyn tell her exactly what Cheryl said.

At the comic publisher’s,  Jughead is getting to see his name in print.  He is so pleased - “It’s so boss, Boss!” - and being really adorable about it. (By the way, is this a throwback to the comics? Was Jughead in the comics just always off in his own world like this?).  With perfect timing, Rayberry, all dressed up in his confrontation suit, bursts in, demanding to know who Fieldstone is.  He launches into an angry speech about suing Pep Comics for plagiarism.  Jughead jumps in to mediate, and this middle aged man and old man let him do this.  The author and publisher shake hands on compensating Rayberry for the plagiarized stories.  For his troubles, Jughead gets to have a dinner date with his favorite pulp writer at his favorite diner.  Right off the bat, Rayberry even hints that he might ask for Jughead to be the one to adapt his stories going forward for the comics.  Jughead just gushes to the man about how he loves his stories in “all the different pulp magazines” then proceeds to list all of them: Weird Tales, Startling Stories, Fantastic Adventures.  He looks so happy - he can’t stop smiling. It’s so cute. 

Then Rayberry asks whether his father approves of these literary aspirations.  Across all universes, terrible Faifather FP is a fail, because the light immediately dims in Jughead’s face.  Rayberry causally says his own father didn’t approve of his “literary aspirations” but Jughead simply doesn’t know. And in addition to inflicting me with Uncle Fucking Frank again, Riverdale fails me additionally but not killing off FP.  Riverdale, girl, why?  So even in this universe created by his angelic girlfriend, Jughead is abandoned by his father yet again. Rayberry tells him to write about his trauma from paternal abandonment.  When Jughead asks if Rayberry would be willing to read his more literary attempt, Rayberry sighs and says “Oh, and we were having such a swell time.”  Jughead fully looks like he is going to break apart into sad, salty-tear soaked little pieces at this apparent rejection until Rayberry says he was joking, that of course he’d be happy to read Jughead’s efforts, and they laugh about it.  

OK so this is why Jughead is so disinterested in girls and Veronica and so on.  He is in too much pain from his father. He is in desperate need of a father figure, but Fred Andrews who served that function in the other universe is gone (and possibly didn’t even meet Jughead in this world, since he never met Cheryl either), other male authority figures are all non-starters (Dupont hates him, the principal hates him, Sheriff Keller is a moron, Clifford Blossom is evil, Uncle Fucking Frank is himself), and his publisher/editor who served this role for him in the other universe acts just as exploitative towards Jughead as FP does so he’s no appropriate either.  And Riverdale’s main narrative arc - the Jugular Vein, if you will - is that Jughead Jones Cannot Get What He Wants, so we should know by now that this business with Rayberry will never work out.

The song that plays in the transition to the next scene is “Lead Me Father.”  This show and its song choices!  We cut to Archie doing child labor for Uncle Fucking Frank in the gym.  he takes a break to handle a basketball.  I don’t know this song, but it says things like “Pick Me Up When I Stumble, So the World Won’t Know.”  I guess basketball is tied to his father’s death for Archie somehow, which is why he doesn’t want to play it anymore, especially not with Uncle Fucking Frank as the goddamn coach.  Also I don’t know whose daddy is like this but if your daddy is like this, let me just say, Wow you are lucky.  

This is intercut with Jughead trying to write about his father, as the lyrics gravely intone about “Give me the strength for a song.”  He picks up a photo of a man who is not the FP we know, sitting scowling on a bike.  The singer croons that he wants to help some “poor troubled weary worker along.”  Jughead’s face goes through complicated set of emotions - he misses his dad, he’s bitter about his abandonment, and above all, he’s very very sad.  Jughead Jones’s tears of heartbreak are always just under the surface, which is why he keeps not wanting to be here in his reality and (doubling down on my thesis) he resents it when people are emotionally secure enough to try to take a risk to make their lives even better (like, you know, get laid with a sexy person to share a good time).

The next morning, Uncle Fucking Frank unilaterally tells Archie that he now has a job at the Diner, pumping gas.  This seems like a really specifically american thing, to overload one’s kids - Archie, who is not bright and also not that interested in school and not given very good brains by his very stupid mother, is supposed to get his grades up but also perform slave labor for the basketball team and further perform child labor at the gas pump all at the same time.   This is not how that works.  (Listen to your bespectacled East Asian -I know what I”m talking about.)

Meanwhile, Jughead is showing off his Homeroom of Horrors Pep Comics issue, written by JUGHEAD JUGULAR JONES.  His friends want to celebrate with burgers.  Jughead tells them he has a meeting with Rayberry at his house.  He’s so happy.

Toni confronts Cheryl about telling Evelyn that Toni isn’t gay. She completely glosses over Cheryl saying they have a “big problem”  about MIDGE.  Toni says she’s not ashamed of who she is or who she likes and should not be considered someone to be rescued.  Cheryl backs down immediately, answering in a soft voice that she doesn’t know what Toni wants Cheryl to say.  Cheryl apologizes, so Toni says that she’s had enough of pursuing Cheryl.  And that turns out to be the key thing, because the prospect of losing Toni’s attention altogether is what makes Cheryl gin up the courage to say, out loud, using her voice, to another person that she is attracted to girls.

Atta girl Cheryl!

“And I think maybe I’m attracted to you!” Cheryl says, starting to cry.   Toni is merciless, and wants her to actually confess - that Cheryl KNOWS she is attracted to Toni. 

Jughead is at the Rayberry apartment, which looks really familiar to me.  Is it the Toni/Fangs Throuple Cursed Apartment with Fucking Kevin??   Or is it Jughead and Tabitha’s apartment?? (The windows are too different.)  Rayberry says he’s willing to read Jughead’s writing, then offers him tea, which Jughead accepts.  Jughead is a bad guest because opens a closed box and steals a manuscript with a working title that I don’t catch the reference to because I never do.  Jughead straight up steals the manuscript.   Plagiarism and manuscript theft are apparently big themes for Jughead (sometimes the manuscript is a computer file), but I am not clear on what the theme is supposed to say, yet... this was very ill judged of him.

Meanwhile, Cheryl and Toni are on their first date, kind of, during which Toni takes it upon herself to out both Kevin and Clay, even though she says Cheryl isn’t supposed to talk about it with other people. This does not seem like a very good beginning.  Cheryl in this universe has an aunt Carol, who moved to Greenwich Village to be a lesbian and a writer.  “A sapphic sexual deviant” according to Penelope.  Carol apparently gets to live loving women.  Toni is bisexual in this world too, but it was only a problem when she made  out with girls. Her grandmother is for some reason absolutely accepting of Toni being queer.  Cheryl says that her family will only accept her if she plays her role correctly.   She’s now ready for something else, so Toni holds her hand.  

Archie is working at night, and of course Julian oozes up to get his tank filled.  Inside the Diner, Bee and Vee are on a date with one dark haired and one light haired WASP boy each from the private school.  Betty is bored as fuck by her date.  Pop brings a thermos of coffee to Archie.  Archie says that Fred used to play basketball with him all the time, when Pops says Fred was a legendary basketball player.  Pops says Fred was a true American hero. Archie agrees, looking genuinely happy for the first time

Jughead has stayed up all night reading Rayberry’s “Jupiter Journals” manuscript that he stole when he was personally invited to that man's house AND imposed on him to read his vomit draft.  Jughead! Why are you like this!   For some reason, he is not in his skin tight Goofy long-johns.  Instead he is in the patented slutty Jughead Jones tank top over striped pajamas. Does this mean something?  Or is this the underwear and loungewear that Veronica got for him when she redid his traincar?   Jughead says the book is “like Flash Gordon if Fitzgerald had written it.”  I have no idea what Flash Gordon is.   Jughead in his inappropriate way, because he is so love-starved, immediately decides to confront Rayberry about shoving his light under a bushel or something, not cognizant of the fact that having stolen the manuscript is going to have bad consequences.

At school, Veronica wants to know what happened with the preppy that walked Betty home, which was a big nothing.  There was no spark because Betty wants to sleep with Archie and nobody else.   She says this means she’s doomed since he turned her down flat.  Veronica says Romeo & Juliet had “logistical problems but they figured it out.”

And for the first time in seven years, at the THIRD Romeo & Juliet mention (Jughead calling Betty Juliet, Toni calling Fangs and Midge Romeo & Juliet and now Veronica) someone finally says the correct thing: “Veronica, they both DIED.”

Bless Veronica though because she knows something about Romeo & Juliet, so she retorts: “Not until Act 5 and only after they lost their cherries.”

Is this foreshadowing? Is this how this sojourn to 1955 is going to end??

Veronica has an idea.  She says that Barchie should have long meaningful late night conversations to get close to Archie.

She also uses the word “gatekeeping.”  Earlier on she used the term “gaslighting” about the purpose of the word “nymphomaniac.”  Is the slow breaking down of the world of 1955 as created by Tabitha Tate?  Why is Veronica using 2020s lingo like this in her 50s universe? 

Betty said she’d love to, but she knows Archie doesn’t have a phone in his room.  Veronica is so smart - she immediately gets to the heart of the matter.  “You can look into ARchie’s bedroom window through yours?” she asks.  She wants to know immediately if Betty has seen Archie [dot dot dot] and I’m choosing to understand this as “naked” to which Betty says, sounding very much like she really needs a vibrator, “Yes. Many, MANY times!”  Veronica wants in on the peep show. 

Inside the school, Julian Blossom is really asking for it, calling Archie a grease monkey to complain about the car service, then calls him waterboy and to get him to fetch a soda.  Julian then takes the name of God, I mean Fred, in vain, saying he’s going to obliterate Fred’s record since Archie’s not going to be the one.  Archie pushes him, Julian pushes back, then Archie punches him right in the face. 

What was the casting requirement for Julian Blossom?  Have a punchable face?  Because he’s now been socked in the face by no less than Ethel, then Jughead, and now Archie.

It is Archie’s explosion into violence that makes Mary spring into action. I don’t have kids but this is bad parenting, right?  Like, she’s doing all the things wrong.  Mary only reacts meaningfully when Archie is violent, like today.  She finally womans up enough to tell Uncle Fucking Frank to back off, declares that since she is Archie’s mother, she will take the lead on this issue.

While that’s going on, violence of a different, distinctly more feminine character is happening among the cheerleaders. Cheryl has assigned being the flyer to Toni, which Evelyn very much resents because that was her role.  Cheryl comes very close to saying this is a Cheerocracy but  what she actually says is that if Evelyn doesn’t like it she can quit immediately.  Evelyn looks at the others for support, but none is to be had.  OK so we know from the earlier seasons what Evelyn is like, and she is shown to be openly homophobic here, but also given that Kevin got to do all that HE did and still got called BRAVE by Betty as sweet music played over the horrible scene, I think Evelyn deserved better.   So Evelyn capitulates as Toni smirks at Cheryl approvingly.

Finally, finally, Mary is asking Archie what is going on.  She wants to know if Archie is avoiding basketball because of Frank.  Archie says it’s not because of Frank, it’s because of Fred’s absence. There is an anvil in his heart whenever he plays basketball because he misses his father.  He’s also afraid of not being as good as Fred.  Mary says a truthful thing -that Fred would be proud of Archie.  She’s also going to make Frank ease up on him.  We’ll see about that.

Jughead has gone charging ahead to go to Rayberry, to tell him outright that he stole a manuscript from him and then read it.  Jughead thinks that his telling an already published and well known author that he has “got to get [something] published” is somehow going to get him forgiveness for the breach of trust. When Rayberry tries to get his bearings, Jughead smiles as he says that it was “only for a night.”  Rayberry gets angry, and kicks Jughead out.  Jughead's heart breaks right there, but he did it to himself. He wanted to speed run to intimacy with this potential father figure (who also confessed to having a difficult relationship with his own parent) but made a colossal mistake by being too hungry & desperate. Rayberry also breaks his own coffee cup by throwing it, which makes Jughead go running, which probably means he grew up in a violent home.

In  the girls’ locker room, Choni get their first kiss.  Toni was turned on by Cheryl’s show of dominance, even though Cheryl is apparently sexually a total bottom.

And finally, Veronica and Betty are blatantly peeping at Archie undressing. Veronica starts narrating in the most cheesy way: “Stand back Ringling Brothers because THIS is the greatest show on earth!”

OK so I agree that Archie’s abs are pretty fantastic but why does this keep happening to him? In place of Kevin now here’s Veronica egging Betty on to do this voyeurism.  Veronica even wants binoculars.   Archie sees them though before Veronica can get a gander at his junk. Both girls collapse to the floor.  Veronica finds the whole situation pretty funny, but Betty is so embarrassed, saying the two of them are being Peeping Patties.  Also?  Betty understands a lot of Veronica’s film references, though I suppose Rear Window is very much a mainstream blockbuster.

The next morning, Betty tells Veronica she couldn’t sleep a wink.  Veronica was also embarrassed but like many perpetrators of sexual wrong acts she has come around to thinking that Archie was asking for it with his strutting while having abs.  She also hopes Archie will be too embarrassed to confront them.  

She is utterly wrong about this, because Archie has come directly to them.  He doesn’t seem mad however.  Archie wants to talk to ONLY Betty.  Veronica makes like a MILF, tells Archie to “keep up the good work” before walking away.  Archie says he saw B and V peeping on him.  Betty does here what Betty always does and she lies, until Archie assures her that he isn’t mad, and actually wants to do a mutual peep show.  

This next part is very very cute though.  The lust makes the two of them completely braindead so they assure each other that they will both be in their own bedrooms at midnight (so they can do this mutual peep show).  Archie is so really, truly, very excited, and Betty is BEYOND excited. 

Suddenly, Archie wants to play basketball.  Apparently 50s Jughead is not wrong about this part - Archie is entirely fueled by sex.  Because he has sex related prospects tonight, suddenly he is “here to play.”  He also stands up to Frank, telling him how irrelevant he is -”I’m not doing this for you.”  Frank seems to think that his ‘tough love’ worked.  I wish I could punch him in the nuts.

A teacher has ratted out Jughead’s author status to Werther (Dupont!). Why are these people at work so very, very late??

Betty and Archie are so ready to do their long distance strip tease/ peep show.  Belts, then shirts  (and Betty has on the sexy lingerie underneath!), then come Archie’s abs!   Betty starts to remove her skirt (though with her unbuttoned blouse still on. And now they are down to just their underwear!

OH NO. RECORD SCRATCH.

I am cockblocked by BOTH  Uncle Fucking Frank AND  Hal Cooper! Oh Riverdale, that was really cruel. “What in the hell is going on here??” indeed! You title the episode Peep Show and then do THIS?