#the horrifying ordeal of being known

[casually-eat-my-soul]

I am completely normal about the hale family.

I’m totally not obsessing over any of the characters

Like Laura hale who haunts the narrative. Hell she’s was the creation of the narrative, her death is the reason that Scott and stiles were in the woods that night. She was a means to an end. She was an older sister. The girl who stays with her brother even after her death. We know nothing about her, and everything we do know is forever tainted by the biases of the characters that remained. The Aphla Heir, the first victim of the show. A body in the woods, a girl in a grave

Or Peter hale, who is a walking contradiction and Manipulator. He cares for his family but he sacrificed Laura and Derek (Paige) for power. He kills his niece, then later on he wants to save her (Cora). Peter who died in the house fire, all Derek was doing was putting down a corpse. Peter who died engulfed in flames in the house haunted by death and fire. Peter who knew how to bring himself back, who knew about necromancy and banshees. How young was he when he created a plan to bring himself back to life?

How about Cora?? A girl who lived in the shadow of her families death for years. Believing that she was the only one who lived. A girl who only knows how to run, who keeps her bags packed always ready to leave. It’s how she grew up. Cora who returned to her burnt out shell of a home at the mere mention of a hale alpha. Who leaves beacon hills once again but this time with her brother at her back. (Laura and Derek leaving after the fire parallel)

And last but not least, Derek fucking Hale. The man who blamed himself for the death of his entire family. Who lost everything, and despite that, got up every single day. Who never got to bury his family members, but never wanted to bury Laura. Who killed his uncle and buried him in the grave of their house, so he could rest among the rest of forgotten Hales. What’s one more grave to dig, One more family member to bury. Who helped people even when they didn’t want him to. Derek who was used and abused over and over again. Who was nothing more than a body. Someone with one foot in the grave and one on a train. He just wanted a pack again and had that taken from him as well. He leaves beacon hills, and comes back to once again help those in need. Who dies and comes back. Who drags himself with bloody fingers to a happy ending, with a son. Who takes care of a car for fifteen years as an act of repentance and love. And who still dies in a fire like the Hales that came before him.

What about Eli, whose legacy is pain, fire and death.

The hales who are tied so fucking tightly to beacon hills and to each other. They can never leave this place but they can’t stay. Nothing will ever be the same again. The fire is gone but the wood is still charred. There’s still an open grave

[bl00dfroma-fairy]

[sazabi-rot]

I know I talk about this A Lot (but I recently saw another iteration of it) but it's still so wild to me that like 2000 people saw a post off this blog because someone reposted it to Twitter and all of them decided to kin assign me as Char Aznable. I'm still seeing reposts of it to this day I cannot escape it.

[demikempton]

Honestly feel a touch emotional right now because Nothing Short of Everything has 3000 hits now, and then I re-read all the comments and seen all the kudos and the bookmarks and it's made me, again, feel a lot of things.

Before this I hadn't written anything for at least five years, and the rut had been really getting to me to the point I thought the spark wouldn't come back. Pokémon's always been a comfort game for me, and I started getting an inkling of inspiration after the main game. It wasn't until I played the DLCs and the Epilogue where I had the intense desire to write, so I properly started fleshing Phen out as a character and it went from there.

And I always find it nerve-inducing when introducing an original character into fandoms, though I suppose everyone must feel the same way when putting forward their iteration of Juliana/Florian. They're basically your baby and you hope they're liked when you show them to people.

Ultimately I'm just really glad I've started writing again, felt brave enough to post, and also have been feeling brave enough to interact a bit with the fandom despite being a serial lurker. Seeing what the fandom has been writing has been really interesting and heartwarming honestly, when we're not all making them go through drama and angst lol.

Anyway I'll stop rambling now but I just wanted to say I really appreciate everyone. 💖💖💖

[idkhannahlee]

remember me i ask,

remember me i sing.

give me back my heart,

you wingless thing.

[totallytubularific]

Some of you exist in a mentally well way, and do not consider yourself damaged goods,

This isn't even about like. Me being depressed as a teenager or something like a past bad romantic relationship. Like. I keep a journal, and I've kept one since I was about 8, and like. I was rereading it recently and when I was 10, after thanksgiving dinner, there was an entry, and it offhandedly mentions that during dinner I briefly thought about stabbing my hand with a fork, just to see if anyone would notice.

I was 10 years old. that was 12 years ago. I have been not necessarily broken, but I have been, bent, for at least the last 12 years. because sometimes, I still have thoughts like that. admittedly, I now don't give them much mind, consider them intrusive, and get on with my day, but. I've never had a chance to fix them, or consider them, or even think about why I would think that.

Then, today I told my boyfriend about it, and he said that he would notice, and he would notice quickly, and that he sees me, and I quote "get seen idiot"

So I dunno, the horrifying ordeal of being seen is actually not so horrifying, because somewhere, in my brain, that 10 year old felt better. And being seen is definitely worth it to be loved.

[x-h3kk3ning-x]

3 and 14! 💚

Haiiii, I reblogged 2 asks things and am now realizing how I should have only done 1 :3 (<<<is not used to getting asks)

Anyway,

3. 3 films you could watch for the rest of your life and not get bored of? (I already answered this but I'm gonna give you 3 new answers because I have more than 3 movies!)

Pinnocchio (Animated Disney Version)-- I love the scene where they get eaten by the whale, which was always a shock to my family because I was a scared af cowardly Chucky Finster kid. But I love seeing the inside of the whale! and their little boat just chillin in the stomach! Snow White (Animated Disney Version)-- This was my Disney Princess. yes, because she had brown hair and brown eyes like me. I was NOT a complex child. Later in life she remains my favorite because folks are so fucking mean to her for no reason, and the movie was the first full length animated film by Disney, and quite a feat for it's day. The Little Vampire -- my sister and I used to watch this religiously every October. It is tradition. it is gospel. It is a movie with vampire cows.

14. what’s something you’ve always wanted to do but maybe been to scared to do?

.....what ISN'T something I've always wanted to do but am too scared to do. there is a reason Harvey is my favorite person in Stardew Valley. I am scared of so so soooooo many things. But I can definitely say that I have Tried to do things despite fear. I come back to having a Youtube channel, a lot. Youtube is most of my entertainment. I want to contribute so badly. Shameless plug of my UwU So Successful Youtube Channel Here. I would also like to try acting again. I had an agent for a hot second back in 2016, but that fell through because of a hiring scam i got caught up in that left me homeless, and I've never gotten the nerve up to try again.

There are many MANY things that I think of doing but am so so scared of doing. I'll spare you the essay XD

[a-summer-soul]

Uh oh girlies don't look now but it's don't text your father all the songs you know he would love because you love them and he is part of you and you'll never see him again not because he's dead but because he killed you before you even had a chance to live and you'll never ever ever escape your fathers house and when vessel said for me it's still the autumn leaves and the way all my trauma smells like winter is slamming me into the ground and screaming at me and it is shaped like an angry feral scrawny little girl who is only twelve years old and doesn't understand why she wants to howl alone in the old family van with her stuffed animal and baby blanket dear god the baby blanket and she's crushing me into the ground over and over asking me why didn't anyone come save her especially the ones that KNEW and I will bleed on her and she will rage upon me and together we will claw our way out of the fucking tomb every single person has ever abandoned us in and stand in the life we demand from the limited infinite time we have on this spinning rock hours, I guess! 😀

[akerkukareku]

in the world full of horrors, do we really need a reason to suddenly shout or scream like newborn babies do?

[melancholypancakes]

Sometimes the TRUTH isn’t pretty…

[wayward-sherlock]

what do my footsteps sound like when im walking down the hall. what do i smell like. what part of me does everyone notice that i am unaware of. what word do i say so often that people keep a tally. what part of my personality are people fond of.

is there a way my hair glints in the sun? is there a way my face lights up when im happy? a way my foot taps when im nervous? is there something so innately me that it makes people happy?

[casually-eat-my-soul]

I’m sorry, I just can’t get it out of my head. The idea that stiles is just like his mother. Everything he does as an act to get closer to her only makes him more like his mother. He can never escape her shadow. This is also a place of insecurity in his relationship with his dad because of the fact that stiles is a way for the sheriff to hold onto his wife. Sometimes he doesn’t feel like his dad sees him, but rather just a ghost of Claudia. He feels like an awful replacement.

But I’ve also had the horrid thought of him dating Derek and finding out about Paige and how much he looks like her and that also destroying him. (This is where the au I wrote a while ago came from, because like the act of a Derek who had Paige and liking stiles more would fix like 53% of his problems)

This is literally stiles. I can’t explain how in depth his character is destroying my soul

[unfortunatelyprofounddaughter]

[softnoodlesdoodles]

What it sometimes feels like

[callsignrooroo]

Mots of the most horrifying thoughts about being known by someone, is that one day, my future boyfriend will ask what I am writing and then I’ll just have to throw myself over a bridge.

[frescawhorechata]

All of 2024