#but man 😔 bad timing
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Finally feel recovered enough to attempt going to work…on my birthday 🥴
#I couldn’t call out another day I’ve burned through all my PTO#and I DO feel mostly better#but man 😔 bad timing#not that it matters rly since. well nobody does anything for my birthday anyway#guess it’s better than sitting in the house another day doing nothing#sorry I’m whining lol#I’ll be ok
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How it started-
How it's going!! They are a family and I am!!! also draw the hug you want to see in the show but they are forgiven because them meeting in brokilon was still soooo tender my HEART-
#the witcher season 3#the witcher#geralt of rivia#geraskier#jaskier#the witcher spoilers#(at least discussed in the text)#they've come such a long way and I'm still sitting here like 🥺🥺🥺#man if you think of the timeline (which is so whack) Geralt and Jaskier have SEEN things#they have been going on for more than twenty years#they are FAMILY and that gets me so bad and I'll draw the whole squad probably tomorrow but!! look at them#somehow the end of season 3 is everything I wanted from season 1 when it came to those two because it had some S1 vibes again with the duo!#but it was so much more heartfelt and tender and not even an ounce of Geralt being seemingly annoyed of Jaskier just-#clenches fist#I'm so basic for still loving them so much but I simply do and will never stop 😔#but I gotta say I loved the yenralt this season too I can finally see it and it was very sweet at times
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i DO think it's going to be funny to watch the dragon age fandom explode when people finally get their hands on veilguard. and realize all of the companions have Opinions
#i get being on the hype train because hell yeah but man. MAN#some elaborate headcanons out there that will invariably be contradicted by the game#not that you shouldn't have fun with it!#i just remember the promo hype around bull & blackwall- ride the bull scale the wall memes etc but they're some of the least popular dai LIs#not that i don't love them personally. but cullen and solas sweep w dai girlies and it's a common sentiment that#a LOT of women-into-men would've been ticked or at least disappointed if solas & cullen hadn't been added w the extra dev time#anyway i feel bad for the characters that will fall the furthest from their pedestal 😔😔 rip#dragon age the veilguard#dragon age
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Can't stop thinking of reader humming the ballad of the wind fish unconsciously (near legend of course because I am nothing if not cliche) and he of course has like a brain stop and is like how do you know that song
and the reader is freaking out on the inside because they tried so hard not to let anything about their knowledge of the games slip and while they're panicking legend asks again
and they blurt out that they heard in a dream and legend basically shuts down and reader is like oh fuck oh shit I made it worse-
#linked universe x reader#im so mean to legend and i feel bad about it but the devil in me thinks its so funny to see him suffer 😞#time walks back into the camp to see legend staring at reader with the most horrified look while reader stares at Time with a look that->#screams HELP HELP HEPP I FUCKED YP HELPP#does this coint as a drabble#or a ramble#idk man#tagging this as ramble#rambles#they lost the quick time event 😔
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I miss u fnaf fandom I miss people having new interesting stuff to talk about like we did with SB and ruin and a large alive fanart and fanfic community and not ok this game had no comprehensible plot and this games plot was already revealed 2 years ago and its still like 6 months or more until it comes out
#sorry feeling sad about fnaf today 😔#its just like. as someone who was there the day sb dropped how did we get here to this point#went from bucketloads of potential with an engaging new era to boring#never letting any of the interesting main storylines appear on screen for years and years#like man#i thought the in between era with hw2 and the next game that was unknown at the time was the worst era#like the mains and the plot will come back eventually but its been 3 years borderline#the bonnie bully cassies dad tales books to game instead of the other way around 2 releases fully about the mimic stuff is just like#very disheartening#pandas.txt#discourse#went from exciting potential to ok so they just arent going to talk about anything ever again#ggy hints and hw2 candy cadet stories are the only things keeping me going#if they didnt exist id prob be actively giving up on them ever bringing 3 star back#& im not trying to say that bc i like 3 star & they havent been focused on everything is bad#they havent focused or done anything cool with VANNY gregory vanessa freddy ggy any of it#instead random shit like hw2 cassies dad mapbot death possession bonnie bully#like somehow theyve made everything about nothing + the mimic#plz announce the release before the end of the year already bc depending on what it is ill feel so much better#if we get hw2 dlc and it reveals if its about cassie vanny or cassies dad things will change so much
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OPINIONS ON KAIDAN EE/IF???
My honest reaction:
in all seriousness, if you wanna hear me yap about it, more under the cut
warning like, genuinely a ginormous yap, like a HUMUNGOUS, sleep-deprived yap,,, im cursed to be obsessed with skyrim + modded followers instead of touching grass
I think a lot of this is probably gonna be the same thing other people have said, so im sorry
if you feel i'm gonna be bringing up redundant points and get mad at me😓dont read
I haven't experienced and thus won't talk about the versions of EE and IF that are now separate mods from each other. I don't know anything about that.
if they're better now yayyy but this is about pre-separation
I should preface this with the fact that I've played through Skyrim 3 times with different stages of Kaidan EE/IF:
The initial Dawnguard + fixes/miscs mod
Kaidan EE/IF versions before extensive faction/NPC dialogue for Kaidan
EE/IF w/ NPC Dialogue (AKA Fratpack)
I was also part of the two different discords that were purged and created during these intervals. i don't even know if there is a discord currently?
anyway, that is to say that I have experienced the mod and it's behind-the-scenes progress, extensively so I have a pretty good idea of what I liked and didn't like
That being said, I will introduce probably my biggest problems with it: Tonal whiplash
Okay, well the most common complaint is ofc that a lot of the writing is out of character - and I agree. But it's not just ooc on paper, it's his voice too. I swear, it is very jarring hearing hushed, mild og Kaidan 2 voicelines, and then being deafened by EE Kaidan SCREAMING in my ear ALL.THE.TIME. (like... why are you yelling at me rn jeez)
Seriously. I'm not sure why they didn't just re-record everything from the original mod instead of adding more and more contradicting lines on top of the originals. It definitely could have been a standalone mod, and sometimes it almost feels like it is - because he is just so different.
My most infamous moment in my last playthrough with him happened after we defeated the dragon at Kynesgrove. His og Kaidan 2 dialogue played first, in it he shows interest and is cordial about Delphine ("I wouldn't mind prodding her mind" or whatver dialogue), THEN immediately after his Kaidan EE/IF dialogue will play, in which he walks up to Delphine and STARTS YELLING AT HER AND INSULTING HER - like they argue for quite a bit wtf. And it's like, listen, I have my thoughts about Delphine, but whether or not it was okay to yell at her isn't the problem. It would be fine - IF he hadn't just calmly told me he thought she was okay.
It is sooo confusing how he contradicts himself :(
I mean, yeah, fragments of who he is are still there, I can tell it's Kaidan, but he's warped to fit a different character. Like a con-artist Kaidan.
Anyway, besides the contradictions, it also feels out of character because of his established backstory.
Let's go over it: He's an orphan, lost his only connection to his family(his guardian) to drugs, fell into substances himself, joined a violent cult, had to escape said cult, came clean from his addictions, has been traveling Tamriel bounty-hunting, got brutally attacked by the Thalmor, rescued by mere chance. Do you honestly mean to tell me this man would be yelling, pissing, drinking, lewding, and joking his ass off?? After all that???? NO - or maybe not these levels of extreme. (maybe some other dude might, but Kaidan's characterization insists he is a brooding, keeps-to-himself man, even though he never acts like it anymore)
That man should be tired, and he did feel like he was tired in the original. He was more brooding then than he is now, usually silent, but could still have an edge of comedy/wittiness, he was smart, he had been through a lot!
In that regard, EE/IF Kaidan felt like... we are experiencing Kaidan 10 years in the past - like a Kaidan in his early 20s when he was still a drunkard low-key terrible person. He is just so energetic, always yapping - GOD he talks a lot now. ugh but most of the time it wasn't about anything, it was either inside-jokes, meta jokes, and only occasionally did we get things that added to the experience.
For example, I think most of us who have played Kaidan 2 remember at least one specific line he has said while exploring. What comes to mind for me is either "Can you smell the magicka in the air too? Smells like a rainless thunderstorm." or "Watch for the mammoth with the carvings on their tusks, that's how the giants mark their herd." Alright, both pretty nice small talk for characterization (he IS smart) and worldbuilding.
Tbh i can't really remember any iconic lines from the additions of EE/IF Kaidan... the only two lines that stood out for me were: the "elevenses" line from the clip above (started bumping into him every time he was about to say this so he would stfu... total tonal dissonance), and one he said while I looted Lucky Lorenz ("poor sod wasn't as lucky as his namesake would have you believe!") kai HOW do you know this man, and his nickname, who told you that??? (idc about it that much but its like the only other added line i remember)
I thought that maybe his ooc-iness might have been caused due to the collaborative approach of the mod, I think the mod authors created their own perfect Kaidan - and that's good for them! It takes a shit ton of work (Ik cuz i was there!!) But I think the original essence was lost with each addition. It might have been lack of direction for the voice acting too, a lot of the lines might have hit better if they weren't borderline screamed.
Okay, at some point while playing I got so tired of his constant himbo chit-chatter that I tried tuning him out and bringing other npcs from vanilla skyrim as followers. Problem: even without kaidan on your party, everything starts being about kaidan. Because the extension made it so that Kaidan either has history with/character interactions and development with different NPCs from the base game.
The main poor sods that traveled with me:
Erik the Slayer: Apparently was Kaidan's childhood friend, got inspired by Kaidan to become an adventurer. Least egregious in my opinion, they say sweet things to each other. I swear, Kaidan yells more at me than he ever did at Erik.
The Companions: dumb, dumber, and dumbest basically.. This part of EE/IF was also known as "The Fratpack" and y e a h they pretty much had Vilkas, Kaidan, and Farkas acting like immature frat boys all the time. Just,, absulutely taking away all the maturity out of these GROWN ASS MEN. im sorry, i guess i dont get the appeal. I liked it when they didn't behave like teens (Aela im so sorry, you deserved better than being part of this)
Lydia: All she does is simp for him, ALL.THE.TIME. You think she's about to have a meaningful thing to say? nope, she's checking out Kaidan's ass. Think she'll have a deep convo with another npc about one another? nope! she wants them to tell her all about Kaidan. Both the Companions and Erik will either talk down to her or have to deal with her thirst for Kaidan. i had to start leaving her home.
They also suffered from the same tonal whiplash as Kaidan, unfortunately
additionally, the mod added an "early flirt switch" - you could basically toggle Kaidan to start showing romantic affection for the Dragonborn before the amulet of mara., the interactions were good on paper, but everytime he stammered and stumbled over his words it was written in such an unnatural way... pls people don't talk like fanfics lol !!!
I did like that he gave me flowers, my inventory got full of them - but then he noticed how many flowers I had in my inventory and judged me for "picking everything i see" ugh dude you gave them to me, but also even if you hadnt... mind your business lol
Another addition was a feature that basically made it so NPCs could potentially throw flirtatious comments at Kaidan and the Dragonborn (Bishop flashbacks😨)
You can't do anything to defend Kaidan from those comments, but he WILL take it upon himself to defend your honor infront of any men, women, jarls, or criminals that even so much as find you attractive (THIS INCLUDES FARKAS AND VILKAS BTW :( ) by being rude, forthcoming, AND violent. so yea, you can guess the target audience
speaking of which, he definitely comes on too strong on you once you start the romance, and it left a bad taste in my mouth. I specifically picked the "go slow" option for the romance, and the next day or two it was him constantly complaining about having to go slow under his breath, how he wanted to do anything but slow rn... and like just, wow. :/ yikeees lmao
Maybe this is the result of "i can fix him" romance ideals? im sorry but I liked him when he was down to earth
Bonus? He comes with a campsite now, which has to be magic because its ginormous and he somehow lugs it around despite it also coming with a whole ass furnace (fine fine i'll hold my disbelief)
anyway I do like it, its basically a player house you can take anywhere (so long as kai is with you ig) also you can have a cat in there
I like that there is an MCM, I like that the MCM lets you get through the quest stages in case you get stuck
I like that he can guide you places, usually he gets stuck in a tree or rock but its the thought that counts
I think if the mod had continued in the vein as its original iteration when it was just audio/bug fixes and included these qol features it would have been better than it is now.
But it seems maybe i'm just not the target audience, and as a young woman I'm really confused as who the target audience is 😓
okay im srry rant over
if anyone else wants me to yap about other kaidan skyrim things also ask or join in cuz i like yapping about skyrim and kaidan to people!!!
#anon im so sorry you opened pandoras box with that one#my most favorite interest ever so i must yap about it#kaidan 2#kaidan skyrim#skyrim custom followers#tesblr#skyrim#tes v skyrim#kaidan mod#modded skyrim#this new kaidan is evil!kaidan he is evil he does not respect woamen#also please don't judge me for giving him a chance 3 time i thought he'd get better😔#im looking at the workshop version of him with a lil hope but EE/IF disappointed me so bad i cant trust anything anymore#pls just give my man an mcm
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I swear every time I see anything relating to ATEEZ my eyes would always go to this man
BYE OMG WHY IS HE SO BEAUTIFUL????
This is a different type of ethereal beauty because wtf
He is a fairy 🧚
#ateez#kang yeosang#ateez yeosang#im still learning a lot more of stray kids#but i think Ateez is the next group I might get into#THIS MAN IS SO GORGEOUS WTF#why he prettier than me 😔#idk that much about Ateez btw#but is he the soft spoken one?#when I see clips of him he just seems in his own world#but like not in a bad way#ngl the first members I knew were Wooyoung and Hongjoong#I swear every time I see him I always get silenced by his beauty#this such a beautiful gorgeous man#and he be having a deep voice too#it might take me a bit to get into Ateez#but I’ll get into them sometime in the future lol#his beauty is so different from Hyunjin and Felix’s#idk how to describe it tho#a-talks#kpop
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You have quite a good memory.
#never let me go#never let me go the series#1x08#1x09#parallels#palm pannakorn jannaloy#nuengdiao kiattrakulmethee#pond naravit#phuwin tangsakyuen#gifset#*#//#in his letter-vows about the things he likes about Palm#Nueng mentions that Palm “pays attention and remembers small details”#😔😔#also I find it interesting that Palm remembers the story as the myth about love >between two men<‚ especifically#that might very well have been the first time he's found representation for himself in a myth#and as it is for every other queer folk who's not used to listening about themselves in stories#that part seems to have stood up to him the most#a man whose other half is a man? that's him!! :D#(god‚ he hopes that's him. his other half needs to be a man. if it's not a man it can't be Nuengdiao.#and he wants it to be Nuengdiao so so so so bad.)
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Paul George on Stephen A. Smith’s Kawhi Leonard jab: “I didn’t like that moment… Kawhi wants to play… We exhausted a lot out of Kawhi this season. So at some point your body breaks you down… I didn’t appreciate that moment. I know I laughed because the situation was lighthearted, but deep down it was like you gotta let that go, Stephen A.”
Paul George, knight in shining armor
#HE DOES . u know. defend his girlbosses#as a good malewife husband soes#but like... he'll defend them.. five days after the fact#like hes just zoned out during the actual time of necessary defense#thinking about what new gaming chair to buy for himself whilst squinting harshly#i think tauruses and caps get shoehorned into being hashtag Daddies hashtag when it comes to personalities#like yes theyre grounded but that also means they like to duck into their little safety hovels sometimes#if a taurus is in an uncomfortable place/position.. they will often just smile& think abt how much they miss their regular place of comfort#until the moment passes#'oh but theyre so stubborn and loyal! theyll stand up for anyone! all the time!' stubbornness can ironically flucuate#theyre still showing stubbornness! just to the fact that they wanna go home. and they need this moment to pass#and if they bring something up rn.. it will not pass rn#this kind of thinking does not always bode well with fire signs#as much as i love to bully paul .. seeing others do it just isnt the same.. it does not come from a place of love in the end !!#'hes always been a coward-- too afraid to step up and be the bad guy. do the dirty work' no girl hes just a bit stupid#hes literally excitedly told reporters that hes soooo hyped up to try and be the rebound passer guy today#and then one game later hes like 'yea i kinda did too much.. that was.. not good 😔'#like he is doing the best in his mind! his doing bad is not out of bad intent! it's good intent and he is just failing miserably at it#LEAVE MY CRINGEFAIL MALEWIFE ALONE ‼️‼️‼️#MY CANCELLED GIRLFAILURE !!#he just wants to be a trophy husband to a terrifying strange and unusual mystery of a man like isnt that why we wrote dracula#is this not why creepypasta self insert y/n imagines exist on wattpad ?#paul george is just a y/n living in a spiteful world#LMFAOOO#hes so stupid i want to kill him but no one else can kill him but me ok#pg13 years old
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Some screen cap sketches 🩵
#I’m getting a better feel of their faces now time to just figure out how to draw in a consistent way 😔#trigun#trigun stampede#Vash#Vash the stampede#wolfwood#Nicholas d wolfwood#anyways THE VASH SLETCH TURNED OUT SO 🥹#literally peak Vash I don’t think I’m gonna get him that right again 😭#SLETCH???? man I’m terrible at typing#too bad that I’m on mobile 😭#MQ sketches
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The age difference between tommen and myrcella bothers me way more than it should like sometimes it's 2 whole years sometimes they're the exact same age like grrm wanted to make them twins but he forgot. Girl what is the truth
#.txt#grrm has a loose grasp on numbers unfortunately#in agot myrcella is 'not quite eight' and in affc she's 'not quite one-and-ten' ok so she went from 7 to 10 in 2 years?#and in 2 years tommen went from 7 to 8 uhhh if she's almost 11 he should be 9 at least right#maybe he is 9 but everyone just forgot his birthday lmao#BUT in the agot appendix it say's she's 8. which makes more sense. if she's 8 turning 9 instead of 7 turning 8#but BUT the wiki (my best friend and worst enemy) says she was born in 290. bc they take the 'not quite 8' thing as fact#which. ok after pacing around the house talking to myself like a madman that's not possible. it has to be 289 ☝ I think. um#I don't fucking know man I also don't have a very firm grasp on numbers. but something's not right here#idk grrm definitely fucked up some ages in affc bc it says joffrey died at 12. damn he died so hard he aged backwards 😔#btw this is the second time I've gone insane thinking about grrm's bad math today. and that was only considering time#imagine if I also thought about space too hard...thank god my understanding of distances sucks ass
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Spending the weekend with my oldest friend and his wife and they're like, "Yeah we got married last year and got a house and are going to visit Ecuador in a few months and then oops we're also pregnant and having a baby it's due next May haha 😋 so what's new with you??" and I'm just like, "uh... i uhhhhh got a new tattoo? Still fully and pathetically unable to not be single though 🙃"
Kinda want to crawl into a hidden corner and claw my own face off
#life of faye#they're wonderful people and i love them dearly#I'm just ashamed at my own inability to do anything meaningful with my life#my friend even acknowledged that we're probably in different spots in life at least partially due to him having a supportive family network#and me... not having that at all#which is nice to have acknowledged but i still feel like such a trash person in comparison#like i don't want a baby but i want the rest so bad#i want a house#i want a fun and loving partner#someone to travel and enjoy life with#and then them getting pregnant means no more yearly Shakespeare trips 😔#when it felt like we at least had something to catch up on once a year#sucks man#obviously I'm being a selfish asshole because they're great and they're going to be great parents and they're so happy#but old friends with children scare me#they're entering into a section of life that I will never have any part of#and i feel weird and uncomfortable around them after that#so this weekend feels like the last time I'll be able to enjoy my friend's company#very bittersweet
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some more ghost rider sketches, version i guess i wanted to draw some bones,
including a partial prototype of whatever the hell the Rider has going on underneath his skin-suit (which might need more leather 'muscles' but. whatever), a theoretical endpoint of how dead Robbie could get in my verse, which. unlikely? extremely. but fun to draw, and a line-up of Robbie, Lisa, and Gabe
in theory, Lisa's sense of style was inspired by @wazzappp 's post of Claire's fashion Lisa, but, well, outfit design eludes me. so. brightly colored vague y2k vibes are. the best i got
#robbie reyes#gabe reyes#lisa (ghost rider)#revenant robbie au#i am fully just drawing whatever at this point but. its fun so idk#ANYWAY i read the avengers 2018 run and. ok it was bad#both generally and also. sob they hit robbie with the generic mcu-quippification and naive teenager beam 😔#absolutely no escape#but challenge of the ghost rider kind of hit tbh#if only bc it had robbie racing blaze for Gabe's sake and well.#ok objectively idk how his parents got pulled to hell like.#were they supposed to be there?#did johnny drag them from another afterlife?#idk at all#but *man* ok im not immune to family/loved ones finding out about a fave being a 'monster'#and accepting him anyway ok#so long story short idk if im gonna go with an exorcised-eli yet or not#but i gave robbie a rosary (not accurate. yes i know i didnt get the spacing on the top part right) on account that#religious iconography in marvel works based on a personal faith#re that one panel of kitty pryde burning dracula with a star of david#so i figure there's a high chance that robbie was raised roman catholic when his parents were around#even if that was a long time ago#and even if he doesnt believe/is religious in the strictest sense#he still has associations yk?#(<to be clear speaking as another mexican american and the impacts of religion in the culture as a kind of atheist)#anyway my point is#in a non-exorcism version hes found that wearing a rosary. even if it doesnt shut eli up entirely#makes him more? bearable? less loud/oppressive? easier to push down#while in an exorcism version ig it helps with keeping his identity as robbie centered and dealing with supernatural emotional regulation#zsketches
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the added vocals at the end of this live performance of Accept Things blows me away each time. Dolores you absolute queen.
full performance here
#dolores o'riordan#the cranberries#accept things#chile#I need this clip on my blog#the first time I heard this I was losing my shit#imagine hearing this live…fucking amazing#god her voice is just out of this world#she left us too soon 😔😔😔❤️❤️❤️#junk#man i could just go on and on about dolores and the cranberries and this performance lakjdflaskjdff forever my faves 😭😭😭😭#the bad thing is that once you listen to this performance the album version leaves you wanting more#but that's the beauty of live performances!!!!
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MAN I miss BNHA…I miss my AUs I should start drawing for them again…but ALSO my new OCs AGH they need designs but ALSO MY MERCH all my charm designs BUT POKEMON ADOPTS AND. AGHHHHFHHH
#TOO MUCH TO DO. TOO LITTLE TIME.#Shima speaks#I feel like my brain’s being pulled in 50 different directions#Also it doesn’t fucking help that my sciatica has been BAD the past few days#So I literally just come home and lie in bed#Sitting on the couch hurts. Sitting at my desk hurts. I can’t DRAW while I’m in pain#I just wanna art man 😔#Once I’m physically capable of it you bet your ass I’m gonna do ONE of these things on my list. MAYBE.
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oooh. there's a trans woman in this Night Court episode and I'm scared.
#they do the 'man in a dress' joke literally all the time. that's already bad enough#but. so far they've handled similar topics really well (at least for it being the 80s) sooo... maybe it'll be okay? 😬 I'm still scared tho#and of course it's a Dan episode because he's the horrible shitty one.#oh god please don't be a horrible episode please I can't handle that right now 🙃#night court#she has beaten Dan up. I love her. she's great. and they are showing him clearly in the wrong. so... pretty good so far#(but of course 'haha he got hit by a woman'... I mean. yeah but. you don't have to be misogynistic about it...)#oh Dan is the absolute worst and I don't mean it in a nice way this time 😔
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