#but i think Ateez is the next group I might get into

[thewinter-eden]

Blood Sugar Virus (32)

CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO

Genre: Horror, zombies, strangers to lovers, angst, suspense, slow burn Pairing: Kang Yeosang x female!reader Warnings: based on the Wanteez Zombie episode, zombies, language, discussion of parasites, gore, angst, heavy topics, suggestive content

Story Summary: You (stage name Sugar) are the co-captain of a horror acting group. You and your guys are the ones the companies hire when they want to stage a zombie, ghost, or any vaguely horrific and dystopian episode. So when you get hired by Ateez to develop a zombie program, it's just another routine that you've done a million times. Everything's going exactly according to script--until suddenly it isn't, and it starts getting a little too real.

🏆 Esteemed Moot: @ramadiiiisme

⭐️ Reader Spotlight: @mrsminseochoi

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Jin still hasn’t quieted.

He’s not as wild as he was when the clamor of the shattering glass and the blaring intercom set him off, but you can hear him thumping against the door, rasping hungrily in the darkness of the supply closet.

You sit next to Jimin, letting him lean his weight against you, listening to the oldest member of your acting team succumb to the ravenous will of the parasites that infest him.

In the absence of the noisy, energetic presence of the others, your thoughts are left to darken heavily with the cruel and careless murder of your team.

Only a few hours ago, you’d entered the building with them, cheerfully discussing your plans for the evening, your excitement for one of your biggest programs ever, issuing reminders for their specific roles and instructions for your more dramatic actors to maintain at least some adherence to the scripts.

Jin and Hoseok had been the target of your warnings. Known for unplanned improvisations and escalations of the atmosphere, the two older actors had playfully listened to your rote threats before heading off to their designated stations with no intention of heeding your orders.

They were excellent actors, good men, phenomenally skilled at working a dynamic environment. No matter how off-script they decided to go, you and Namjoon had full trust that they would remain faithful to your storyline and representation, even if it was in their own capacity.

Now they’re both gone.

Almost all of them are gone.

How is it possible that you lost the majority of your family in one fell stroke? How could you have known those were your last moments with them, and that mere moments later they would face their terrifying and horrific fates alone?

Heart swelling with sorrow, you reach for Jimin’s hand and squeeze it tight. He stirs wearily, turning his head against your shoulder.

“How are you feeling, Chim?” You ask him softly, running your free hand through his hair.

He groans and lets out a labored breath. “Feels like someone’s sawing my leg off.” He mumbles. “God, why does it hurt this bad?”

You push away the reflexive fear that maybe something survived in him, continuing its greedy ascent up his body, and brush his dark hair out of his face. “You’ve been eaten alive, dude. I’m amazed you’re still conscious, if I’m honest with you.”

Overhearing your conversation from where he’s pacing near the shattered window, Yeosang glances to you before grabbing the first aid kit that you had used so long ago to patch up Wooyoung’s arm.

“What do you think we should do when this is over?” Jimin asks softly.

When you’re silent, heart racing, he gives your hand the lightest squeeze.

“Please talk to me.” He whispers. “It hurts so bad, I just need to talk about something.”

Yeosang rifles through the first aid box, spilling bandaids and antiseptic pastes all over the floor. He finally comes up with a handful of those pitiful packets of Tylenol, bringing them to Jimin. “It’s pretty worthless, but if you take four or five of them it might take the edge off.”

You remember the water bottles that you’d packed into your duffel bag, and struggle to reach it where it’s still slung across your back. With Jimin leaning against you so much, you can’t work your free hand around to grasp the zipper. “Yeo,”

He meets your eyes, brows lifted in question.

“There’s water in my bag. Can you get one of them out for him?”

He drops the Tylenol packets on the desk by your knee and moves around behind you to unzip your bag. You hold yourself still as he rummages through it, pulling out two bottles, and closing the zipper back up.

“You can focus on your songwriting.” You suggest to Jimin. “You always said you never had enough time to pursue it like you wanted to.”

Yeosang comes back around in front of you, breaking the seal on one of the bottles and setting it down so he can rip open the Tylenol packets.

Jimin shakes his head against you. “I’d rather do this. I mean, fuck, not this. I don’t want to give up the acting. The choreography and the stories and the characters. I don’t want this to be over.”

Your gut twists to think of him waking up when this is all over, wanting to just get himself ready and head in to work as he always does, only to be hit with the realization once again that it will never be the same.

It will never be the way it was, not without your team.

“You can still act.” You tell him gently.

Yeosang cups the handful of tablets in his palm and brings it to Jimin’s lips, instructing him quietly to take them. Jimin lets him drop the tablets into his mouth, and struggles to lift his head so Yeosang can put the bottle to his lips and tip him enough to swallow.

Jimin downs the pills, coughing, and asks for more water.

As Yeosang helps him, you try to come up with something encouraging, anything hopeful. “The company is still out there, if they don’t decide to shut down after this. They’ll put you on a new team, and they’ll probably give you permission to use some of our old programs.”

Jimin groans again, and you feel his bad leg twitch against the desk. “We could start a new company,” he murmurs. “Me, you, Joon, and Rosé. We can start from the ground up, make our own rules.”

In the moments that pass as he takes a few more drinks and gasps with exertion, you meet Yeosang’s eyes. He’s already watching you, waiting for your response, knowing you have no plans of going home and starting your own company—knowing you’re going to lie.

You break your gaze away, unable to carry the weight of his disapproving stare. “We should start our own company.” Your words are hollow. “We’ll be even more successful. We’ll put those old bastards we work for out of business.”

Jimin huffs a vindicated laugh. “Hell yeah. We can do all those programs they never let us do.“

You can’t fight your wry grin. “They don’t let us because they’re expensive and dangerous.”

“What programs aren’t you allowed to do?” Yeosang wonders, opening the second bottle and handing it to you.

You gratefully drink, your body relaxing as the cool liquid pours down your throat. When you’re finished, you hand the bottle back to him and gesture for him to drink from it. “It’s mostly based on locations and equipment. We wanted to do some on a ship, like one of those old war boats that they’ve turned into historical museums and hotels. We had some ideas for actual overnight programs, ones that last like a weekend at a campsite or in a hotel—extra scary and immersive for clients, but extra expensive and more liability. The company didn’t go for it.”

“They sound like fun, as long as they don’t involve actual crimes and horrors.” Yeosang says, sitting on the desk on your other side. On the narrow surface that is now holding three of you, his thigh is pressed against yours, your shoulders glued together.

“Yeah, they were gonna be sick as fuck.” Jimin agrees. “We can do all of those programs with our own company.”

Your smile turns sad. “Yeah,” you whisper emptily. “We’ll do all of them.”

You can’t even imagine it; writing stories and training new scenes and applying for new licenses and permits. You can’t sit in a studio late at night, comfortable with half a dozen empty energy drinks and takeout boxes, curled over your computer where the ideas and inspiration just come and come, filling you with vocational bliss.

You’ll never have that again. How can you write fun horror stories, knowing what you’ve done? How can you write deaths and killings, knowing you’ve committed your own with your bare hands? How can you write courageous heroes and innocent victims for yourself to play, knowing that when you were faced with actual fear of death, you caved to basest human instincts and chose to save yourself at the expense of someone else?

How does anybody write horror stories with normal people killing to survive, and writing them as though the characters can just deal with those experiences as though it all just happened in the fog of war and they can just get over it?

Your stories are garbage; woefully unrealistic.

You lived one in real life tonight, watching people you’ve known and loved with all your soul turn into impossible monsters, facing decisions like having to axe familiar faces to death, using the bodies of people you’ve worked with and cared for to shield yourself from a terrible death.

It’s not as easy as just running and panicking and hoping you survive.

It’s a wicked corruption of good people. It’s a destruction of everything you used to be, every thought process you’ve ever had, a mutation into someone you don’t even recognize—someone who has forced a human being to be carnally ripped apart in order to ensure your survival.

You were supposed to be better. You’re raised and taught and disciplined by society and moral values to get through life peacefully, without ever entertaining the idea of strategizing through acceptable loss of life.

You were never supposed to rationalize the loss of humanity and essence of someone becoming an emptied out monster so that you can feel better about allowing a person to be brutally eviscerated.

Unaware of the existential undoing of your soul, Jimin tries to adjust himself to a more comfortable position. “I still vote you as captain in our new company.” He remarks. “Sorry, but I’m not built for leadership. I’m all about breaking rules and shirking responsibility.”

You snort. “I don’t need to be told that, Chim. But for what it’s worth, I think you’d be a better leader than me.”

He scoffs. “There’s no way. I’d suck. All of the decisions and pressure you and Joon deal with would suck the fun out of it for me, and we’d all crash and burn. This captain would sink his own ship and go down with it.”

“I couldn’t do it either.” Yeosang says. “It’s too much pressure, doing what Hongjoong does. I show up for recordings and shoots and practice sessions, and that’s it. I clock out when it’s done and go home, and he stays all night and grows grey hairs just working to keep us afloat.”

“Yeah, see? He gets me.” Jimin wheezes a pitiful laugh. “No offense, Yeosang, but I wouldn’t have voted for you anyway. You seem like the following type.”

“None taken, I’m a singer. Kind of already have a job.” Yeosang shoots back, and grins at you.

Your responding glance is lackluster, but you smile anyway. “Yeah, you guys are probably gonna get out of here and lock yourselves in your studio as far away from horror programs as possible, right? I don’t expect a good review after this.”

“Hey, we were promised zombies. We got zombies.” He responds reasonably. “Technically, that’s not a breach of contact.”

“You’re hilarious.”

“Please, they’re not going anywhere.” Jimin retorts. “We’re friends for life now. Friends who fight zombies together stay together.”

“We’ll get that on a tee shirt.” Yeosang promises.

“And besides, you guys are all cutesy and coupley now. I’m expecting to see a lot more of you, at least. Unless you guys are just decompressing in the heat of the moment and you friendzone each other once the adrenaline fades.”

You elbow Jimin lightly. “Mind your own business, asshole.”

But Yeosang doesn’t seem nearly as put off as you expected. “No, I’ll be around.” It’s his turn to elbow you. “I was promised Jeju Island. And I fully intend to meet Ponk. I’ve always wanted a cat.”

You elbow him back. “You were promised no such thing.”

He rolls his eyes. “You’re right, Jeju Island was my idea. I’ll take full credit for the trip, you’re welcome.”

“Jeju Island?” Jimin muses. “That sounds nice. Look at you, already planning romantic dates.”

“Can you not insert yourself into this?” You grumble. “The two of you are insufferable.”

“Oh, this is nothing.” Jimin teases. “Remember when we had GOT7 last month? They wanted a ghost episode to put out after their comeback.” He explains to Yeosang. “Actually, Mark wanted killer clowns but the rest of his group weren’t vibing with that.”

You groan just thinking about it.

“Remember when Jay kept flirting with you and Hobi kept trying to push you together?”

Yeosang raises his eyebrows at you. “Isn’t he kind of old?”

You fix him with a deadpan look. “He’s my age.”

His eyes go wide. “I was kidding. I didn’t mean to—I’m sorry, I don’t think you’re old—I didn’t mean—”

“Enough with the flop sweat.” Jimin scoffs. “She’s 26.”

At Yeosang’s flushed frown, you just grin. “I was kidding.”

He groans, covering his face with one hand. “Don’t do that, I felt so bad.”

“He is only a year older than Joon, though, so don’t let him hear you say that.” You inform him, laughing.

“Anyway, I’m just saying, this is tame compared to that. Hobi was shipping you hardcore.” Jimin glances up, finding the tense line of Yeosang’s lips, and smirks at you. “I guess he didn’t realize you’re into younger guys.”

When you go to jab your nails into your best friend’s ribs, Yeosang intervenes.

“GOT7 is cool. We really like them. We’ve met Jackson a few times, he’s really awesome.”

Your face falls ever so slightly, and he notices.

“You don’t like Jackson?”

Hurrying to correct his assumption that you have any contempt for one of the nicest client groups you’ve ever had, you shake your head. “No, no, I’ve been a fan of Jackson’s since they started—”

“He broke her heart.” Jimin supplies helpfully.

Once again, you are left in a storm of misinformation. “No he didn’t, don’t say that. You make it sound so dramatic.”

Yeosang frowns at you. “What happened?” He’s curious, probing, but pulls back hesitantly. “I mean, you don’t have to say. Sorry, I was just wondering.”

“No, honestly, he didn’t break my heart.” You laugh. “Jimin makes it sound like I had feelings for him or something, but that’s not what happened. He came with them and he was incredibly kind and they all enjoyed our program. They were a great group.”

“She’s looked up to him for like forever.” Jimin interrupts. “She was always talking about his writing skills and how much of a gentleman he was.”

“He still is, stop making it sound like something happened.” You grumble, jostling your shoulder beneath his head.

Yeosang is only more curious. “Did he do something?”

“No!” You’re appalled by the insinuation. “No, he was a perfect client. A perfect gentleman.” You glare at Jimin.

“Yeah, he spent all night protecting Sugar’s character and making her all star struck—”

“Jimin, shut up.”

“And then once the program was over and we were all having a celebratory dinner to thank them and send them off, he turns to her and tells her he can’t stand introverts.”

Your eyes roll to the back of your head, groaning. “Oh my god, Jimin, you’re the only one who cares about this.”

“Yeah, like you didn’t shut down like he stabbed you in the chest. Remember what he said to you? ‘It’s like there’s nobody there. It’s like talking to a wall.’” He leans over you to peer at Yeosang, who still looks disquieted by the conversation. “She stopped talking about his media appearances. Next time I went to her apartment, she’d put away all of her GOT7 albums and PCs. I later learned that she sold them. Imagine a career professional in the field of entertaining kpop groups selling her albums from one of our biggest contracts.”

“Jimin,” your tone is low, warning. It had been a disheartening moment, to spend your entire adult life being an involved fan of an idol and then to finally meet him and spend a thrilling program with him, only for him to end the evening by telling you personally that he hates your most fundamental trait.

But you hadn’t been in love with him. You hadn’t even had a crush on him. He’d been an inspiration for your work, and a motivation to get your team to a high enough ranking to attract his group, but he hadn’t broken your heart. And yeah, you had sold his albums and inclusions, and the interaction had made that choice easier, but you’d needed to pay your rent that month.

You’d had to sell something.

Avoiding both of their eyes, you fix a long suffering smile on your face. “The entire group was professional and polite, and they gave us a flawless program experience. And Jackson was exactly the way he seems to fans. It was an awesome experience.”

“She deflated like a fucking balloon.” Jimin grumbles. “I still don’t know how he could spend the entire night with you, giving you all that airbrushed fan service, and then turn around and basically tell you he hates you. Bastard.”

“Oh my god, Jimin, he didn’t. He’s the most extroverted person we’ve ever met; obviously he jives the most with other extroverts.”

“You liked him?” Yeosang wonders.

“No!” God, your night has somehow gotten worse. “No, I didn’t like him. Like Jimin said, I look up to him as a creative professional. But I never liked him and he didn’t break my heart. That’s ridiculous.”

“You’re telling me that you going from being ecstatic about a successful program, the way you’re always giddy about a client group enjoying the work you write during an unhealthy amount of all-nighters, to leaving the restaurant and riding home in utter silence wasn’t you getting your soul crushed.”

“I’m an introvert.” You retort. “We’re quiet people.”

“Not about your passion.” He gripes. “You turn into a fucking five year old hopped up on sugar when it comes to your programs, but that night you looked like your dog died. Broke my fucking heart. I could have strangled him.”

“Jesus, Jimin, he’s one of the nicest people I’ve ever met. Why are you talking about him like he’s your arch enemy?” This isn’t the first time you’ve heard Jimin complain about the discouraging interaction, but he’s never been so pissed about it.

You had no idea he’d gotten so fired up on your behalf about it.

“Because he insulted a foundational part of you.” Yeosang answers carefully. “I also hold Jackson in high regard, and I’ve always respected him, so I get what you’re saying. I’m sure he wasn’t trying to be a dick. But I would have been pissed too.”

You don’t know what to say to that.

“Yeah. See? If Yeo had been there he would have helped me beat the crap out of him.”

That makes you laugh. “Jimin. Yeosang is also an introvert. He’s bothered because he would have been included in the remark too.” The idea of your best friend and this very popular public figure attacking another international superstar over a silly comment strikes you as hilarious.

“No, I just don’t understand how he could have seen you work and act and play out one of your stories and still say something like that to you.” Yeosang returns simply.

“I’m an actor.” You can’t believe you’re even talking about this right now. “He probably didn’t even know I’m terminally introverted.”

“Exactly.” Jimin throws his hands up.

“Yeah, exactly. Even if he didn’t know you’re an introvert, he talked to you like you have some kind of personality disorder that he couldn’t even realize you had.”

“Alright, whatever. It wasn’t even a big deal. I was tired. I wanted to go to bed. You know how exhausting our programs are?” You sigh, hoping you’ve finally grasped control of the subject. “Don’t meet your heroes.”

“I say fuck him.” Jimin.

“That would be counterproductive.” You say cheekily.

“Enough about him. I can’t believe you have an idol right in front of you and you’re talking about some other guy.” Yeosang chides playfully.

Your jaw drops. “I’m not the one who brought it up.”

“Forget about him. I hope you sold all of your albums. You’re an Atiny now. I’m the only idol you need.”

While Jimin chortles with laughter, lurching off of you entirely with the force of his mirth, you whirl on Yeosang and jab at his ribs. You’re both stunned and thrilled to find him jerking away from your fingers, launching himself off the desk in a flurry of low giggles.

“Oh my god,” you gasp. “He’s ticklish.”

“Nope!” Jimin stops laughing immediately. “No tickling. No touching. No physical flirting. I’m still here. I don’t want to puke right now, so knock it off.”

You ignore him, still staring at Yeosang in evil delight. “Come back here; don’t walk away from me.”

He’s clutching his ribs, lips spread wide in toothy laughter, shocked by your rush of confidence. “I don’t want to.”

“Please, god, don’t do this.” Jimin groans.

“You’re gonna be all smug and haughty—‘I’m the only idol you need’—who raised you? Get back here.” You beckon him back to your desk, finally enjoying being at the giving end of the teasing.

“Christ, kill me now.” Jimin grumbles.

The singer just shakes his head and scoots farther away. “No, I don’t want to.”

“Yeosang,” You lift one eyebrow.

“This is new,” he laughs. “I like this; why are you mad at me?”

You’re not mad and he knows it, but you’ll be damned if you just sit there and take their teasing in silence.

“Listen to your Noona, Kang Yeosang, before she drags you back here by your ear. You should see her put Taehyung in his place.” Jimin mutters. “Scary mother fucker.”

“Jimin, lay down and be quiet.” You hop off the desk, gaining ground on Yeosang as he stumbles back with surprised laughter, trying to hold you off. “Go on, Yeosang, keep talking. See what happens.”

He covers his ribs as you reach for him, dancing away from your fingers. “I’m sorry, okay? I’m sorry—” he breaks off with another throaty giggle as your nails scrape his sides. “Noona, please—”

“Ha, made him call you Noona.” Jimin pumps a fist.

You’re going to have an aneurysm. “Don’t fucking start with me, Park Jimin. I am tired and in pain and I’ve had enough of your shit.” There’s no venom in your tone. You’re just happy to have a few stupid minutes with the people closest to you.

You turn a fierce look on Yeosang. “Go sit down.”

He ducks back to the desk and plants himself next to Jimin, face flushed with laughter. He stares up at you as you glare, arms crossing over your chest.

“Oh god, now I know you guys kissed. Please don’t do it again. Not in front of me, I beg of you.”

Yeosang’s mock nervous expression morphs into a smirk.

Your face heats with a flaming blush, and you can hear yourself sputtering wordlessly.

Before you can attack either of them, the intercom screeches back to life, and all joy seeps out of your body.

“Stop disabling the cameras. You are still under military control. I repeat, you are ordered to stop.”

Yeosang’s face falls.

“The gymnasium doors have been unlocked. Do not continue to attempt to escape. If you exit the school, you will be fired upon.”

In the moments that follow the intercom squealing offline, you can hear the echoing screeches of the once trapped hoard of zombies now filling the building.

Horror spurs you into action, bolting for the classroom doors as Yeosang throws himself to his feet and follows. Just as you grasp the handle and start to drag the door along its tracks, Jongho bursts into the room, panicked and panting.

“They’re out. All of them. They let them out.”

The zombies are free, and your group is spread throughout the school, whereabouts unknown, again.

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tag list : @mysterysold @threevracha @igotajuicyass @velvetmoonlght @ramadiiiisme @mrsminseochoi @nightshadeblooming @furfoxsake22 @marvolos @lunaryoongie @latisthegenderfluidwannabealone @noukstmblr

[channie-binnie]

I swear every time I see anything relating to ATEEZ my eyes would always go to this man

BYE OMG WHY IS HE SO BEAUTIFUL????

This is a different type of ethereal beauty because wtf

He is a fairy 🧚

[scoupsakakitty]

little sister reader (scoups or mingyu) where she gets verbally attacked by fans for being close with ateez (wooyoung or San)?

Just Friends | idol!Scoups x sister!reader| angst, fluff | mentions of Wooyoung

Y/N had been through internet drama before. It came with the territory of being one of the biggest influencers in Korea—and, of course, being the little sister of Choi Seungcheol. She knew how quickly rumors spread, how fast people turned on you, how suddenly the internet could love you one second and hate you the next. But this? This was something else entirely.

It all started with a shopping trip.

Y/N had spent the afternoon with Wooyoung, one of her closest friends, just casually strolling through the streets of Seoul, laughing, chatting, and occasionally stopping to snap pictures of cute accessories and clothes. They weren’t hiding. Why would they? It wasn’t like they were doing anything wrong.

But when you had millions of followers, and your friend was an idol from one of the biggest boy groups, every little thing turned into a scandal.

By the time Y/N got home that evening, her phone was buzzing nonstop. Her social media was exploding.

[BREAKING] ATEEZ’s Wooyoung spotted shopping with influencer Y/N! Dating rumors ignite after viral photos surface. #WooyoungY/N #NewCoupleAlert

Y/N groaned as she scrolled through Twitter (or rather, the battlefield formerly known as Twitter). The pictures were everywhere. Some of them were innocent—just her and Wooyoung walking side by side, laughing. But others…

One particular shot showed Wooyoung playfully fixing a strand of her hair while she smiled up at him. Another caught him holding her wrist gently as they crossed a busy street.

And of course, the internet lost its mind.

Some fans were thrilled, gushing about how cute they looked together. Others? Not so much. Hate comments flooded her notifications.

“She’s just using Wooyoung for attention.” “She’s not even an idol. Why does she get to hang out with him?” “I knew she was a clout chaser.”

Then there were Carats who had mixed reactions. Some were protective, defending her, while others were… less kind.

“Why is S.Coups’ sister getting involved with idols? This is embarrassing.” “She needs to stop bringing scandals to Seventeen.”

Her stomach twisted uncomfortably. She hated this. No matter how much time passed, no matter how much she grew, people still saw her as nothing more than “S.Coups’ little sister.”

A loud knock on her bedroom door made her jump. Before she could respond, the door swung open, and there stood her brother, arms crossed, an unimpressed expression on his face.

“Y/N,” he sighed, stepping inside and shutting the door behind him. “What the hell were you thinking?”

Oh boy. Here we go.

She tossed her phone onto her bed and crossed her arms, mirroring his stance. “I was thinking that I’d spend the day with my friend. Didn’t know that was a crime.”

Seungcheol exhaled sharply, pinching the bridge of his nose. “You know exactly what I mean. You and Wooyoung, in public, acting all… close. Did you really not think people would start talking?”

“Acting close? We were literally just hanging out.”

“Tell that to the internet,” he shot back. “Do you have any idea how much of a mess this is? My phone’s been blowing up all evening. The company is already getting questions about it. Not to mention, people are dragging Seventeen into this because you’re my sister.”

Y/N clenched her fists. “So what? I should just stop having friends because people might make up stupid rumors?”

“That’s not what I’m saying, and you know it,” Seungcheol said, voice softer now. “But you need to be more careful. You know how this industry works. People see what they want to see. And Wooyoung—”

“What about him?” she snapped.

Seungcheol hesitated before shaking his head. “I just… I don’t get it. Why are you so close with him? Since when?”

Y/N rolled her eyes. “Since forever? You know Yeonjun, right? Well, he introduced us a while back, and we just clicked. He’s fun, he’s easy to talk to, and he doesn’t treat me like I’m some fragile little sister who needs to be protected all the time.”

Her brother’s jaw tightened. “That’s not—”

“It is,” she interrupted. “I get that you’re worried, but Wooyoung is one of my best friends. That’s all there is to it.”

Seungcheol studied her for a long moment, then let out a sigh. “Don’t lie to me, Y/N. I know you have feelings for him.”

Her breath hitched, but she quickly masked it with a scoff. “So what if I do?” she muttered, avoiding his gaze. “It doesn’t matter that I have feelings for him. We are still just friends.”

Seungcheol’s expression softened. “Y/N…”

She shook her head. “No, seriously. It doesn’t matter. It won’t change anything. He doesn’t see me that way, and even if he did, it wouldn’t make a difference. The world wouldn’t let it.”

Seungcheol looked like he wanted to argue, but instead, he just sighed again, rubbing the back of his neck. “You should still be careful. Not everyone will believe that you’re just friends.”

“I know,” she muttered, suddenly feeling drained. “But I can’t live my life based on what strangers on the internet think.”

Seungcheol’s expression softened even more. “I get it. I really do. But if things get worse, let me know, okay?”

She managed a small smile. “Yeah. Okay.”

As her brother left the room, Y/N picked up her phone again. Her notifications were still a mess, but this time, she saw a new message at the top of her chat.

[Wooyoung]: You good? Don’t let the haters get to you. Yeonjun and I are ready to fight if needed.

She laughed quietly, shaking her head.

No matter what the internet said, she knew one thing for sure: she had real friends who had her back.

[bunnliix]

When Eight Becomes Nine - Chapter Fifteen

This one took so long, and I blame school and writer's block, but there is much angst and fluff in this chapter!

Pairing: Ateez x 9th member!reader  Summary: What happens after everyone fell asleep, with a couple of cute moments wc: 1.5k AU: a/b/o  Genre: Fluff/Angst  warnings: mxm, reader needing a moment to process, panicking, kinda panic attacks, crying, yelling, sadness, falling onto the floor, I think that's it? masterlist

Yunho and Mingi were the first two awake and as such, found the rest of the group in their piles in the living room. At the sound of their footsteps, Jongho’s eyes slowly opened, widening further at the sight of the tall duo not far from him.

“Hi hyungs,” he whispered, trying not to wake any of the others, though it was enough noise to cause Hongjoong to move around in his lap, though he didn’t wake up.

“Hi Jongho-yah. You convinced hyung to sleep?” Yunho asked the younger man, getting a nod in response.

“I said I’d keep watch over everyone,” Jongho replied, as their pack alpha shifted once again, moving to sit sideways in the youngest’s lap, his head now resting on Jongho’s chest, over his heart.

The alphas moved closer to their youngest mate, smiling down at him, while Yunho reached out to run his fingers through the beta’s hair. This sensation made Jongho purr lightly, tilting his head back.

“Our cute baby beta,” Mingi whispered, smiling.

“Not cute,” Jongho retorted.

“D’finitely cute,” Hongjoong mumbled, waking up.

“Hyung,” The trio said in unison, surprised to see their captain awake.

Without saying anything in response, Hongjoong leaned up, pressing a kiss to Jongho’s lips and smiling as their lips connected. Jongho was surprised for a moment, but quickly melted into the kiss with his alpha, he had missed moments like this in the chaos that had been the last few days.

Mingi and Yunho watched the two kiss, soft smiles on their faces as they watched the soft intimacy between the youngest and oldest of their group. They loved seeing their packmates like this, it always made them smile, even after long and exhausting days, they’d always find ways to be close.

Y/n slowly woke up, hearing noise around her. Her eyes fluttered open, trying to overcome the pull of sleep wanting to drag her back down. She heard noises next to her, turning her head to find that Hongjoong and Jongho were kissing. Her sleep-addled mind didn’t process it at first, just thinking how cute they were. Until she slammed the breaks on her thoughts as she finally processed that the two were kissing.

Like sure, everyone who knew Ateez knew that they were a pack, that was common knowledge, but despite people’s theories, it was definitely not known that they kissed each other. She laid there looking at them, and the longer she sat there, the more she felt as if she was intruding on something she shouldn’t be. This was just for pack, which she was very much not. 

No matter how much she wished she one day might be, her brain whispered, only for her to push those thoughts away, knowing better than to dwell on them. Those thoughts have never done her any good.

Y/n sits up and moves to get off of the couch, forgetting that Yeosang was sitting in between her legs. Her actions wake the alpha sitting on the floor in front of her, as he looks up at her and the others groggily. In her rush to get up, she simply ignores everyone around her despite the shock showing on their faces, and rushes past the other three, leaving the living room in search of her own room, leaving the scent of a distressed and upset omega behind.

“What did you guys do?” Yeosang mumbled, becoming more awake by the second.

“I don’t think we did anything?” Yunho says, his voice raising in confusion, looking at where y/n disappeared further into the apartment.

“Something must’ve happened,” Yeosang responded.

Tuning out the two talking, Hongjoong, like Yunho, stared at the place where the omega had disappeared from view. His brain was working overtime to figure out exactly what happened, as he vaguely noted Yeosang going after y/n. Everything comes to a halt the moment he smelt the distressed scent in the air, his alpha taking over as the captain tried to remove himself from Jongho’s lap. He was partially successful, though instead of getting up, he only managed to fall down onto the floor instead, smacking his hands on the floor.

“Huh?! What’s goin’ on?” San said, startled awake by the noise.

“Hyung!” Yunho and Mingi exclaimed, dropping down onto the floor next to their alpha as the older male scrambled, trying to get off the floor.

“Hongjoong-hyung, what’s going on?” Jongho asked as he moved down onto the floor.

“‘Mega is in distress! Have to get to them!” Hongjoong half-shouted at them.

“Which omega? Neither Wooyoung or Seonghwa-hyung are in distress?” Mingi asked the alpha.

“Baby omega!” Hongjoong shouted, loud enough to wake both of the still sleeping omegas.

“Hmm? What’s going on?” Wooyoung mumbled, “What happened to baby omega?!” He half screeched, realizing what Hongjoong had said.

Hongjoong turned to look at the dark-haired man, crying out, “Baby omega is still sad, alpha made her sad,” he said, taking the blame for her state.

Yunho pulled the pack alpha into a hug, his hold on his hyung tighter than it normally would be.

“You’re not at fault here, we don’t know why y/n is upset,” He told the older alpha.

“But alpha didn’t help omega the first time!” Hongjoong protested, tears starting to trail down his cheeks as he became more distressed himself.

“Alpha,” Seonghwa said, appearing behind Yunho and reaching out to run his hand through Hongjoong’s hair, “Why do you think you didn’t help baby omega the first time?”

“Baby omega wouldn’t say anything to alpha, wouldn’t explain why she was sad,” Hongjoong said, looking up at Seonghwa with wide, tear-filled eyes, “and now something happened that made her sad again.”

“Oh darling,” Seonghwa said softly, moving around Yunho and crouching down to be level with Hongjoong, “Maybe she just wasn’t ready to say anything, hmm? It’s not your fault, and we’ll figure out why she’s sad and distressed and do our best to fix it. Now, won’t you let your omega comfort you?” He said, his arms reaching out to pick up the pack alpha, pushing out his calming scent to try and calm down his mate.

Hongjoong didn’t have the energy to protest, allowing himself to be picked up, and almost immediately hiding his face in Seonghwa’s neck. Seonghwa sighed, before looking at the others.

“I’m going to take him into our room, clearly there’s some things he and I need to talk about. Jongho and San, would you two go and check on wherever y/n and Yeosang are? I want to make sure they’re okay,” he asked the two betas, who nodded, shaking off their feelings about what just happened, and heading out to find the missing two members.

Seonghwa nodded at the two who remained, before carrying their leader off to one of their rooms, or even the nesting room.

Yunho and Mingi were left with Wooyoung, who whined to get their attention. The two alphas moved to sit next to their omega, sandwiching him in between them.

“It’ll be okay, Wooyoungie,” Yunho comforted him.

“You know the others will figure out what’s going on, and will make it better, and then we can all gather in the nest and spend time as a pack.” Mingi said, trying to reassure the omega that it would be okay.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Seonghwa softly placed Hongjoong down on the omega’s bed, the alpha gripping onto his shirt, trying to keep him close.

“Hold on darling, I just need to change really quick, okay? I’ll be right across the room, and once I’m finished, I’ll be back in your arms,” Seonghwa tried to comfort Hongjoong, who reluctantly let go of his shirt.

This allowed Seonghwa to move to his closet, quickly changing into his silk pajamas. He gracefully walked back over to his bed, where his shirt was grabbed and he was pulled into bed by Hongjoong. He was then checked over for any injuries or even a slightly off smell. Seonghwa allowed it, knowing it would help the alpha calm himself down, and it did for the most part, since he hasn’t gotten to comfort or talk to y/n yet.

“I wanna see y/n,” Hongjoong demanded.

Seonghwa sighed before replying, “You can see her later, Joong. She needs her space first.”

“But she’s sad,” the alpha protested.

“Yeosang, Jongho and San have gone to talk to her, it’ll be okay,” Seonghwa tried to comfort his mate.

“But I want to see her!” Hongjoong whined, making his mate chuckle.

Instead of speaking, Seonghwa just pulled the alpha’s head into his neck, right into his scent gland. He immediately felt the other man’s body relax, smiling as Hongjoong buried his face further into his neck.

“Relax for me dear. Let our mates take care of y/n for us, while I take care of you,” Seonghwa whispered.

There was a slight whine from the alpha in protest, though he simultaneously relaxed in Seonghwa’s hold. The omega’s hands came to wrap around Hongjoong, a hand slowly rubbing his back as the alpha slowly succumbed to sleep. 

Once Seonghwa was sure Hongjoong had fallen asleep, he kissed the top of the pack alpha’s head, whispering, “Sleep well my love, you deserve some rest after taking such good care of us and y/n recently.”

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Taglist is: open!

if your name is in pink, I can't tag you!

[st4ytiny]

Cause I don't wanna be in love with another, even in another life

AN: I'm having ateez and stray kids brainrot rn. Rewatching all of skz code and wanteez... LORDDDD IM LEGIT SOBBING I LOVE THEM ALL <33333

Mentions of soft San, fluff with a sligth slice of angst and implied nsfw. Mostly teeth rotting fluff, self indulgent (sorry not sorry)

Sannie who is the kindest guy you've ever met. Many think he's tough and mean, but once you get to know him a bit more, he's actually just a ball of sunshine. He's warm, comforting, gentle, nurturing and healing. Somehow he always has something to say no matter your problem. He has the most gentle touches. Jokes and laughter is also a big part of your time together. He enjoys having his hair played with while he reads. Head in your lap while you do random stuff.

Sannie who loves poetry and loves writing for you. Even if he doesn't have the courage to show it to you. I feel like he's the type of boyfriend to leave you notes around the house with words he can't say in person. The type of boyfriend to crush on his partner, who goes above and beyond to make you feel better if life is shitty atm. He enjoys being your safe haven and feels safe being with you. The boyfriend who can't handle alcohol so whenever you two are out, at an event or dinner with his group, he ends up taking care of you. If he is drinking I have a feeling he's gonna end up in your lap, clinging onto you for dear life. (I feel like he cries alot when he's drunk? THAT ONE TIME HE GOT SCARED BY THE MEMBERS IN THAT WANTEEZ EP. AND CRIED. I LITERALLY SOBBED, MY SANNIE)

Sannie who needs a stong bond to the people he surrounds himself with. I feel like he's attracted to individuals who are older than him. Preferably if you enjoy working out, being outside or is a bit of a nerd. Love has no boundraries for him though. He likes feeling like he's stronger than you, just because he likes being protective. Even though you both know who's gonna be ordering for you two. He is the type of guy to act intimidating if someone approaches you when you're on a date. Then afterwards he's gonna be like "Woah, did I look intimidating just now?", "Woah, Hyung/Noona didn't I look totally badass?" (SOBBING I NEED A BF LIKE HIM, SORRY THIS IS SO SELF INDULGENT)

Sannie who loves being praised for small things. He thives of being helpful for you. ESPECIALLY IF HE IS TALLER THAN YOU. He enjoys watching you while doing the most mundane things. He enjoys the smell that your parfume leaves in the bathroom, or the fog on the mirror. He enjoys seing your favorite colour next to his favorite colour when he's out shopping. Sends you pictures of it with "This is us" attatched to it. I don't feel like gift giving is is biggest love language. BUT i do think he's the type of guy to give you a pretty rock because he thought about you when he saw it.

Sannie who gets stressed and insecure easily. Reassurance is important in your relationship. As well as gentle reminders that you think he is the awesomest. Joking around with him when he's stressed is something that makes him let go of the tension in his shoulders. He loves just sinking into your warm touches at the end of the day. When he's touring or busy, he forces wooyoung to cuddle him while he wants to cry because you're not there. If you're an idol aswell, i believe San would cheer you on alot. He'd be so proud whenever he saw you absolutely devour the stage. You two might also write lyrics/poetry together.

Sannie who can be rough when it comes to being intimate. But when he's stressed, exhausted, sad or insecure, he definatly enjoys you being soft, praising him and a tiny bit of body worship. He likes having his hair played with and i have a feeling that his some of his sweet spots are his arms, neck and thighs/calfs?? I don't know. He likes recieving but also giving. Definatly soft dom leaning though.

Songs I listened to DIMPLE - BTS, HURT - NEW JEANS, HEAVY - THE MARIAS, VAMPIRE EMPIRE - BIG THIEF, HEAVENLY - C.A.S

[oneirataxia-haechan]

Ateez reaction to hearing you sing in the shower

Ateez x reader (friends)

The members hear you singing their songs in the shower when you think they can’t hear you.

ultimate masterlist

Hongjoong

He would hear some familiar beats coming from the bathroom door. Becoming curious, he would walk up to the door and hear you rapping along to his verse in fireworks. He giggled and walked away smiling. He probably wouldn’t mention that he heard you, but would think of it at random times.

Seonghwa

He would be cooking dinner and rounding up the members to let them know it's almost finished when he couldn’t find you. Walking towards the bathroom door he knocked before he could register the sound of music. He then heard the music, knowing you wouldn’t answer his knock, he smiled lightly. You were in the middle of singing along to Matz when he had knocked. He would probably mention it once when you guys are alone just to compliment you.

Yunho

Yunho can’t find you, when you promised you’d play a game with him in a bit. A bit is now up and so he began his search for you, a promise is a promise. After looking everywhere he stepped towards your bathroom door. As he was about to knock, the song changed to Deja Vu. He could hear you singing along to his part at the beginning and he would melt in admiration. This is one random thing yunho would think to be one of the nicest things ever. He would mention it, almost bragging, because you sang HIS part specifically. That is until you got embarrassed and he would try and make it up to you due to his guilty conscious. He really didn't mean to embarrass you.

Yeosang

Yeosang would be similar to hongjoong, heard you singing It’s You by accident. He would for sure blush hearing you sing his part though and get red in his cheeks and ears. He wouldn’t mention that he heard you though, he wouldn’t want you to think he was listening on purpose. Might mention some of his favorites from their disography though, knowing you’d probably sing along to them when in the shower again.

San

I feel like if bored he would hunt down anyone he could find to fix his boredom with. You were next on the hunt list. He would look everywhere and when he finally found his voice coming from your bathroom door, he’d secretly record his reaction to your little concert. He could hear you singing loudly along to Cyberpunk. His little happy jumps could be heard in his recording as well. Would definitely send the video in the group chat and then show you what everyone said about your vocals.

Mingi

You and Mingi would some how always end up having insomnia on the same nights, best friends truly. This particular night he had been in his bed, unable to sleep, so he decided to go to the living room to see if you were up as well. If he couldn’t sleep he at least wanted some company with the same issue. He didn’t find you but he did have to pee. As he walked towards the bathroom the music increased in volume. He smirked and laughed as he heard you rapping along to his verse in Bouncy. He may record it like San but not share it without your permission. He’d rather keep it for himself to listen to when he misses you, needs motivation, or even just for a giggle. Might bring it up randomly out of the blue like, “oh yeah you are really good at my raps!” Confusing you of course.

Wooyoung

He would honestly constantly be bothering you so it didnt take him long to realize you weren’t in his vicinity. When he went looking for you he would come across the bathroom door, at first he thought you may be pooping due to how long you had been gone. Once he heard the water he laughed at his thoughts. After hearing the water he strangely heard his voice in Crazy Form come up as you sang along to his part. It was a good thing for him he started recording right before that. Would definitely send it to the group chat no thoughts in mind. “Guys check out who loves to sing my part only.” You would come out of the shower and while getting ready to finish your hair after getting dressed, you’d wonder why your phone was blowing up. You would check and immediately hunt him down. “WOOYOUNG!!!” The other members would hear the cummotion and let him get caught. Deserved.

Jongho

Jongho would also come across you singing in the shower on accident. He would think you singing along to Halazia was really sweet. He wouldn’t mention it but he would try to get you to sing on your own in front of him and the boys more often. Would also randomly ask about a duet for fun, raising your suspicions a bit.

[atinysunbaby]

@ateezluvv asked :

heyyy...could you please make ateez having crush on you? aaaand you are songwriter at KQ too....thank uuuuuu

Thank you for asking! I hope you'll like it even though I didn't make it the exact way you wanted and it took me an eternity to write, really sorry about that. :(. I wrote a different job for each member, because I felt it might be more entertaining that way. <3

⌛Ateez Hyung line having a crush on you⌛

💖Park Seonghwa💖

"Park Seonghwa." You call your next patient's name, standing while holding the door separating the offices and the waiting room. You analyze his every actions and movements, like the boy's eyes widening slightly at the sound of your voice, the pathetic non subtle attempt at taking a shaky breath in hopes to slow his sudden rapid heartbeat, his hands and legs trembling as he stands up and the corner of his lips he can't seem to control that are starting to form a smile.

"Hello Dr. L/N!" You nod with a smile and gesture for him to follow as usual, scoffing under your breath in amusement, the excitement you could hear in those 3 words and the higher tone of voice he used, added to his reddening cheeks and averting eyes, this man really can't keep his emotions from showing.

You position yourself at the entrance of your office, gesturing for Seonghwa to enter. "Please take a seat and we'll get started."

The boy obeys immediately, maybe a bit too fast in your perspective, but letting this slide as well, you sit behind your desk and proceed to ask him a few personal questions. "So tell me Mr. Park, what is the reason of your urgency?"

"My what?" He asks, his voice almost a whisper and wearing a confused expression, waiting for your possible explanation. "Yes, you called my secretary and asked to get the closest appointment disponible.. or was that not the case?"

"No- I mean yes.. It's because of headaches, I get them everyday and I can't focus on practice anymore when it gets to intense." He lets out frustrated, clearly it has been affecting him for a while. "Any other symptoms?"

"Umm- no, I don't think so." You nod and type a few informations in your computer. While being occupied, you can still see the way the boy bounces his legs in nervousness and the way he can't seem to loosen up. "Are you sleeping enough, eating well, hydrating?"

"Well, sometimes?" At that, you give him back your full attention, concerned about his wellbeing. "Sometimes? What is sometimes? How many hours of sleep do you generally get, do you eat all of your meals and what kind of food, how many glass of water per day?"

"I'd say.. 4 hours per nights, sometimes more or less. I drink whenever I can, which I believe is not enough and every time I eat I feel sick, so I eat one meal, sometimes 2 and it's mostly ordered." You know he's an idol and you came to the conclusion that he was working really hard and it must be complicated, but you had no idea it was that bad. "Alright, you'll have to get a blood test and when I'll receive the results I will immediately send you a prescription for the supplements you need. I believe you are malnourished and you lack a whole lot of sleep."

He nods and sighs, feeling a bit helpless at his situation, it's almost impossible to stay completely healthy when there's a comeback and on top of that the group received death treats.

"You must know this already but, you really need to eat all of your meals and try to eat healthily, you need to sleep to regenerate your body and drink more water in order to function better. You might only be experiencing headaches now, but if this keeps on going at long term, there could be a lot of negative repercussions."

"I will, thanks miss!" He says with a blush coating his cheeks, slowly coming to realisation of the word he used. "You don't have to call me miss you know? Y/N will be just fine, if that's alright with you of course."

"No no no- I mean yes of course! It's totally fine- sorry.." He abruptly shuts his mouth because of the amused look you give him, never having felt more embarrassed in his life. "No worries Seonghwa, just make sure to keep this a secret between the two of us, I'm not supposed to get so 'friendly' with a patient and my colleagues wouldn't appreciate that I'm being so unprofessional."

All you receive is a flustered nod from the other and the sight infront of you is priceless. Seonghwa looks breathless and his whole face, neck and ears seems to have turned red, his lips are restrained by his teeth and it looks like they are about to rip from the pressure, in short, the boy looks like he is about to burst. "Seonghwa."

"Mmh?" He looks at you dumbly, as if his brain had just stopped working and he turned stupid. You scoff in disbelief, but mostly because you find him adorable for behaving like you are some kind of goddess. "You can breathe sweetheart."

And with that his whole chest deflates, as he lets out the breath he was holding.

💙Kim Hongjoong💙

Being a teacher always has been your dream job, and for the last few months that dream became a reality, but you wonder now if you might have made a mistake.

Everything that comes with teaching, other than educating people on your favorite subject, is actual crap. Even though you have considered unimaginable scenarios while trying to prepare yourself to this world, it is nothing like what you imagined.

You wanted to quit after weeks of feeling absolutely miserable, but something-no, someone held you back. Hongjoong. That cute boy in one of your class who always pays attention and participates as much as humanly possible.

While the others always treat you like shit, being disrespectful and making disgusting comments that affect you more than you thought they would, Hongjoong stands up for you. He shuts them up real quick which you think is really sweet, but he's your student and it can be nothing more than that. Your delusional self will need to forget about that perfect man and move on.

"Alright guys remember about what we covered for the last two weeks, most of it will be in the exam. Have a good day!" Your students, although disrespectful most of time, salute you on their way out when they feel like being polite, which in your opinion is somewhat even worst. Because you know they know that they make you feel worthless, but they only care about themselves and their image.

"Excuse me miss?" There it is again, that smooth, angelic, soothing and irresistible voice calling for you. Trying to calm the untamable beating of your heart and put on the mask of a teacher who's totally not head over heals for her student, you answer the boy with a charming but neutral nevertheless tone of voice. "Yes Hongjoong what is it?"

"Could I speak to you for a second.. like privately?" He adds the last two words in reason of the numerous students walking around the corridor, you also don't fail to notice him looking quite uncomfortable and proceed to leave the door ajar, to not cause any misunderstanding..

"I just have a certain, uhh.. I need to tell you.. something." He fidgets endlessly which makes you even more nervous, but you remain calm as your 'student' needs you. "Of course what is it, you can tell me anything."

"I.. just kind of like you, like a lot." He throws the confession at you and acts like he's the one in shock, gasping with his eyes full of what resemble fear and hands coming up to hide his gapping mouth. You on the other side, stop breathing completely. "W-what?"

Then you know it wasn't the reaction he was hoping for, because panic settles in his already overwhelmed with emotions' body and mind. "Oh no- please I'm sorry! Could you please maybe forget I ever said that? I don't- it was a lie! Yes I lied-"

"Oh my- you did nothing wrong, no need to panic, just take a deep breath babyboy. " At the beginning of your sentence, you watched as his body relaxed and he started to regain control of himself, but after that you lost the poor boy. "B-babyboy?"

You didn't mean to call him that, but you don't regret it after seeing his reaction. You try to hide your laugh behind a cough, but he catches it quickly. "Are you laughing at me? Was that a joke?"

He looks so heartbroken that it sends a sharp pain through yours, an adorable pout makes its way onto his face without his knowledge, small unshed tears gather at the corner of his eyes and his eyebrows furrow in sadness, making his forehead slightly scrunch up. The poor baby looks way too cute when he's sad, and you shouldn't think so. "No don't cry, it wasn't a joke! I didn't mean for it to slip out like that, but if you don't dislike the nickname..."

"Really?" You have to stop yourself with everything you have right now, to not hug the life out of this precious little human. Fortunately, it seems that luck is on your side today, and the boy is the one reaching out for you. "Umm, would it be ok if I hugged you?"

"Come here." And of course you can't resist, squeezing the boy in your arms in a tight hug and he melts against you, his hands gripping the back of your shirt in fear you'll let go.

💛Jeong Yunho💛

"Hello! Is anyone here?" You hear a deep, masculine voice call out for someone and you hurry to put the tiny kitten your holding in its cage with her siblings. "Yes I'm coming, just a second!"

"Oh there's no need to rush, please take your time." The man kindly responds and you smile at the gentleness in his tone, hurrying your task despite not having to. You don't want to make the boy wait when you have the time for him immediately.

You enter the main entrance with hurry and enthusiasm for a potential new customer, more then ready to greet the person waiting in the room, but your usual joyful speech is cut short when you are met with who you think, is the most handsome man you ever saw. "Welcome to the shelter... Umm I'm Y/N, how can I help you sir."

You gulp unintentionally, all of the confidence you usually have for other animal lovers like you is thrown out of the window from the moment your eyes meets. His smile is as bright as the sun and you swear you can see twinkles in his beautiful brown eyes, his aura gives off positivity and pure happiness and it makes you smile unknowingly. "Hi I'm Yunho, I'm looking to adopt a dog."

"Oh right- of course, we have a few little treasures at the moment! Would you like to meet them?" You ask in hopes that he would agree and end up taking one of the unfortunate pups currently residing in cages after being abandoned. "Yes! I'd love too."

Your heart flutters at the sight of his beauty and sincerity, showing off all of his perfect white teeth, eyes squinting slightly, giving him such a cute appearance. "You can follow me! I'm sure they'll be really excited to spend some time with you."

"I'm excited too. I've thought about this for a long time and I already bought everything necessary, bed, food bowls, toys, food, treats, blanket and- maybe a little too much actually." Yeah, excitement is clear in his tone and you can't fight the grin from appearing on your face. "I'm really glad to hear that. A lot of people who come to adopt some of our animals don't seem to care much."

"Really? Who wouldn't be looking forward to this? I mean especially if they come here in the first place." You're shocked for a second, the more he speaks and the more you are pleased by his kindness. He seems like a gentle and caring person, exactly the type of person a pet needs. "Right! That's what I thought, they don't deserve to adopt one of them if they act like that."

You turn to him slightly while opening the door to the dogs' room, both exchanging an interesting glance and you blush slightly at the way he carefully watches you. You wonder if he has been looking at during your whole small conversation and if he did, you hope you didn't do anything embarrassing. "We're here."

Your voice his small and you silently curse yourself for appearing so shy and nervous in front of someone you just met. You proceed to open the first cage, letting the 1 year old corgi out and introducing him to Yunho. " This is Pudding, he's a pretty active little guy, cuddly and he listens well to the instructions he's given. On the day he was brought here, he whined and didn't wanna come out of his cage for days after, he was so sad. Poor baby."

"I can't imagine abandoning a small being like that, they must go through so much pain." The pained expression he wears now, confirms his thoughts and you try to brighten the mood up a bit. "Fortunately, there are some amazing people who come here to save them."

Yunho giggles, knowing the intentions behind your words and appreciating your efforts to make his visit as pleasant as possible. "Well, there's also the kind and beautiful girl who takes care of them during their stay."

Your mouth hangs open in surprise, heat rising to your cheeks and you can't help but hide your face behind your hand in hopes that your heart will slow down. Yunho chuckles and the sound sends shivers through your whole body, he keeps getting more and more attractive and you don't know how to act anymore. "W-would you like to meet Rocky now?"

"Mmh I don't know, I think Pudding and I are already inseparable." He pets the dog who has fallen asleep in his laps and you can't help but let out a small laugh, happy for the puppy to have found his new family. "Really?"

"Yup, he's my little buddy now, if that's alright of course." He scratches behind the animal's ear and looks at him dearly, you know at that moment that Yunho is perfect for Pudding. He's going to be loved and cared for like never before and you just have a feeling that he will never be sad again. "Thank you, I'm really happy for you both. All that's left is some paperwork to fill and you'll be able to take Pudding home."

You both make your way out and back into the lobby, Yunho holds the still sleeping dog in his arms and walks carefully not to wake him. You take out a small folder with a few pages document he has to fill and you wait patiently while he writes down the informations needed.

"All done!" He exclaims, keeping his voice low so he doesn't startle the small baby asleep against him, he grins at you but it disappears almost instantly, a nervous expression replacing it instead. "Will I see you again?"

"You mean here at the shelter?" You ask hoping that he wants to see you for another reason than regarding his newfound friend, you don't want to sound like a fool if you answer his question after reading his intentions wrong. He laughs, this time it's so quiet and breathy that you almost don't catch it. "No, I mean... Can I have your number or something? I want to see you again, like to get to know you- if you want to of course, if you don't, I'll respect your decision."

You hesitate, only for a second, not because you don't want to, you would without even having to think about it, but you're at work and you shouldn't be fraternizing with a client. You quickly decide that it's worth giving it a shot and if you get in trouble, you'll deal with it then. You write your number on top of the folder containing Pudding's birth certificate and other important papers and hand it to him, feeling giddy and nervous. "I'd want that too."

You both exchange one last smile and Yunho leaves with the promise of contacting you as soon as he can. You're already looking forward to seeing him again. "See you Y/N!"

💜Kang Yeosang💜

You were working as a staff member at KQ, mostly assisting everyone you could with their jobs and making their lives just a bit easier. When they found out that you have a degree in kinesiology and worked at a gym for some time, they proposed that you become a personal trainer to some of the members.

One of them being Kang Yeosang, the prettiest human you've ever laid eyes on, ateez's precious and sweet baby who is loved and recognize for his cuteness, is groaning and huffing as he works out only a few meters away from you.

You make eye contact every once in a while through the mirror and you try to make it look like you weren't just checking him out, clearing your throat and nodding before taking some notes on your pad, but deep down you know he must be aware. "I think if you move your arms a bit more sideways it'll be safer. Wouldn't want you to strain a muscle."

"Like this?" He proceeds to do as instructed and you nod with a smile, letting him continue on his own. Truth be told, Yeosang doesn't really need a trainer, but he insisted that you at least stay and watch him so you can take notes on the mistakes and help him improve.

You should keep it professional and not make him uncomfortable, but everytime he goes back to his exercises, you can swear you can see a smirk appear on his face. As if he is teasing you and enjoying your reactions, it's only adding fuel to the creeping fire in your stomach.

His muscles are bulging, almost threatening to rip his shirt with how tight it became since he started an hour ago, a big proof of his efforts. The veins on his arms and hands, a result from all the weight lifting and it's attracting your eyes like a magnet. The sweat coating his skin and making his hair stick to his forehead doesn't make him look bad in the slightest, actually it's the first time that you aren't disgusted by someone else's sweaty figure and you can't help the way your body responds to the man, who is now walking towards your smaller form and towering over you.

You don't know if you were right to agree and take the job, because in this very moment, having to be so close to him is leaving you breathless and you're scared you'll end up reacting in a way that'll make him hate you. He's searching for your eyes, trying to get your attention, but you're so deeply lost in your thoughts that you almost gasp at the feeling of his fingers on your chin. He lifts your head so you meet his gaze and arches one of his eyebrows in what you think is a mix of amusement and interest. "So did you enjoy the show?"

"W-what- are you- you're.. I. I didn't!" You can barely breathe as his overpowering aura engulfs you and it overwhelms you to the point you can't form a whole sentence. His reaction to your response is what makes you break and you try to get away from his grasp, but he only grabs you face more forcefully this time and backs you against the wall behind, almost pressing his whole body against yours. "Now I didn't take you for liar little one."

You accept your fate, his eyes boring into yours and he looks like he's about to devour you. His expression changes from lust to concern in a matter of seconds when you start to tear up, maybe from embarrassment or because everything is too much at the same time, you have no idea. "Are you ok, do you want me to stop?"

You shake your head, but a tear falls followed by your lower lip starting to tremble. Yeosang takes it as a clue to stop even though you say otherwise. He slowly releases your jaw and backs away only enough to give you some space. "Did I hurt you or scare you?"

You reassure him by shaking your head once more, reaching for his hand without realising, only to stop mid air when you do. He notices immediately and smiles sweetly at you, bending to your height slightly before he takes you in his arms, holding you close to his body. "You can touch me if you want, it's ok sweet baby."

"Now do you wanna tell me why you were crying mmh?" He asks gently, not to make you cry again and you try to regain some control over your body, taking a deep breath and thanking Yeosang for being so patient and understanding. "I.. don't know, just felt, like too much."

Hearing your words Yeosang is in dilemma, between squishing you to death from finding you so adorable or kissing you till you can't breathe anymore, but since he doesn't want to overwhelm you again he opts for a more self restrained option. "Can I kiss you?"

You barely have time to nod before his lips are on yours, the gentleness in his touch makes you relax against his chest in less then a few seconds. Your hands reaching up to tug the hair at the back of his nape which results in a deep moan coming out of his throat and you shiver at the sound. Just before it escalates, he slowly parts from you and you both can't help but smile. He pecks your lips a few times before confessing. "You don't know for how long I've been wanting to kiss you."

Maknae line

[james-is-here]

Part one

Sections: Joining Ateez, Chan sees you've debuted again, Growing closer to Seonghwa, You plague Chan's feed, What happened after the end of Pt. 1/ You talk to Skz

Blogs: @heartbinn | @leezanetheofficial @belladonna6-6-6 @aygotnobitches who suggested some ideas to me which helped me make this.

Tags: Angst, fluff, Mn and SKZ make up, mention of a Sasaeng, Mn gets cut, idk what else to put here, Skz are like super regretful for what they did, Chan finds out your taken?, Seonghwa is protective over you in the airport part. That's all, i think.

(Joining Ateez)

Awkwardly shuffling on your feet, you eyes darting everywhere as you wait. A few weird glances were thrown at you. Did you wear something bad? Just converse, baggy jeans, and a light blue hoodie, a beanie also fit snug on your head.

You haven't felt this nervous since...since Chan brought you to meet the other boys he picked.

"Mn?" Looking to your left, you were expecting your new manager but instead were met with Hongjoong. "O-Oh, h-hi. I thought...I'm sorry." "It's okay. He ended up having to take care of something but I hope it's okay that I'm here instead to help you." "Of course it's okay, I-I'm just...a bit nervous. I...I haven't felt this way in a while." You kept it simple, didn't want to give too much information.

"Real quick, um, I wasn't told anything. Was just told that you'd be in the lobby." "I'm debuting aga- debuting with a group called Ateez, i think that's the name." "Yeah, it is! I'm the leader. Come on, I can introduce you to the others." "Wait, um, the last group I was in...well, they began excluding me, actually. Y-You seem really nice I just might take awhile to adjust." "That's okay." He smiled at you, it was so nice and genuine that you couldn't help but smile back and continue walking.

Meeting them was awkward and your aura must've been unwelcoming as Hongjoong introduced you, you could see the others were unsure but Hongjoong rested a hand gently on your arm and gave a little nod. You relax, exhaling slowly after taking a deep breath. "Sorry...I-I didn't mean to make any of you uncomfortable. I just left a...bad environment and I'm still adjusting. I'm really sorry." You bow deeply before standing up again.

"Let's do some ice breakers, yeah?" Hongjoong suggested and you nod as the others vocalized.

(Chan finds out you debuted again.)

He and the boys were crushed that you left. The sunshine twins wouldn't leave your room and Chan had found your cut outs in the trash and taped everything back up.

He was the one to call you the most, second was Jisung. He also texted you, 'Mn-ie <3' staring back at him every time he does. How could he never realize what they were doing to him? How could they not have noticed Mn wasn't included?

He sighs, the disconnected voicemail playing for the umpteenth time and he ends the attempted call. As per usual, he goes to any social media app in order to see if anything about you has been posted.

After months of finding nothing, he finally came upon a picture of you, a solo photo of yourself surrounded by a few blurbs and reading over it Chan noticed it was little details about yourself. Name, birthday, age, favorite hobby. It was a 'get to know me' photo. Swiping to the next photo, it was you in the middle of a group of boys, they were doing jazz hands around you as you smiled sheepishly. Reading the caption was like a knife twisted in his chest, he had found a group. What hurts Chan is how much happier he looks, he use to be that happy with them but they pushed him away, he doesn't even know why they did.

"Hyung? What's wrong?" He looks up to see Changbin in front of him. He lifts his phone lazily and the younger sighs. "You know calling him is futile." "No, not that..." He reaches out, handing his phone to Changbin who takes it, a moment later he's sitting on Chan's bed with a sigh and setting the phone down. "H-How could we have been so...blind? Why...Why did we push him away? That wasn't fair to him." "I ask myself the same thing, Bin." "Do you want to tell the others?" "Maybe. I know they've been trying to get updates out of manager-nim about Mn but...yeah, no, let's tell them."

Later that day, Chan told the rest of them about Mn and some were upset but some others were glad that after what they did to him, at least he found a better environment. All of them were beating themselves up. They all agreed that what they did was wrong but now...they can't get him back.

(Growing closer to Seonghwa)

You remember it clearly, the moment where Seonghwa gave you the same comfort someone else use to give.

It had been a year since you had joined Ateez, you felt so much more happy, less of a burden and more of an actual member of a group. All of them were protective over you after learning more about you. They would say you're a precious soul that needs protected at all costs.

All costs...even if it risks their safety.

You were walking with them through an airport, attached to Wooyoung the whole time but he didn't mind. Readjusting your jacket, you notice a lack of weight in your pocket and turn around, noticing your wallet now a few steps from where you just came from. You must've missed your pocket after putting something back.

You say a quick 'wait' to the boys around you and you jog over to your wallet, picking it up but another hand grabs it then suddenly a butterfly knife is pointed at you. "Woah-" "Why do you leave?!" A sasaeng, you just stared at her, you literally panic and every possible thought you could've had left as she advanced.

It felt like ages but it was really five seconds that so much unfolded. She lunged forward, blade catching your cheek at the same time Seonghwa was the first to reach you and pull you away. Security restraining the girl and taking your wallet from her.

Seonghwa walked backwards, taking you away from her as his arms squeezed around you when he heard you let out a small cry. One hand moves to the back of your neck, keeping you in the crook of his neck as he watches them take the girl away, hand squeezing your nape slightly before brushing through your hair, soothing you and helping you calm down.

Hongjoong was next to you guys shortly after Seonghwa grabbed you. "Shh, it's okay, Mn. She's gone." He whispered before reaching under the older males chin and thumbing at your cheek under the shallow cut. "Oh, Mn." He backs away, it wasn't deep, no blood, but it still looked bad.

"Come on, Mnie." You couldn't help but finally move your arms and hug Seonghwa tightly. You haven't heard that nickname in ages and hearing it from someone who sees you, it comforted you so much that you couldn't help the new wave of tears that fell but quickly pulled back and wiped under your eye as the tears stung the cut. Seonghwa's hand replaces yours, helping you wipe your tears and while you feel appreciated and cared for, Seonghwa is fighting himself internally as he found you the sweetest thing ever and officially doesn't like seeing you cry.

"I like Mn-ie..." "You do? Then I'll keep using it. That okay?" You nod softly, finally smiling at Seonghwa. He giggles softly, ruffling up your hair gently before giving a small head pat and guiding you away with Hongjoong on your other side.

(You plague Chan's feed)

Two years since learning about your re-debut, he's seen you everywhere.

Clips of your fan cams, pictures of your outfits, screenshots fans have taken from videos. He didn't stop himself from watching the videos or looking a photos for a moment longer than needed.

He refreshed the twitter feed and the top tweet was an Ateez Update fan page. Even fan pages are plaguing his feed.

There was a link, posted 20 minutes ago.

'Nn live featuring Seonghwa and Wooyoung'

He opened the link and it took him to the live. It looked like you were in your bed, knees pulled up as you talked to Wooyoung about something but all he could pay attention to was your looks. He still finds you adorable. He can't help but sit up in his bed, pulling his knees up as well and taking his pillow to hug as he watched you. You looked...happy. The familiar sting began in his eyes as you leaned back into Wooyoung, the boy wrapping his arms around your neck and pulling you back as Seonghwa started to tell a story.

He thought you two were cute together but a soft gasp and his lips part when you stare at the other male across from you. That glint, that shine. He knows that look and he chokes out a sob. You can't be gone. You still love him, right? You haven't moved on just yet, right?

He leaves his phone at his feet as he leans back, regret eating at him as he cries into his pillow. Minho came in moments later and saw Chan asleep but his phone still playing. He picked up the phone, sighing softly when he sees your face and your smile before turning it off and putting it to the side, moving to cover his hyung up and he leaves with one more look to Chan before he's out the door.

(The award ceremony, Chan POV then it switches to your POV)

Watching you kiss Seonghwa was like getting the air punched out of him with a bus.

The choked sob he let out was pathetic but he didn't care. He saw someone he loved disappear from right in front of him all over again. How could he take you for granted? If he just noticed the neglect sooner, you'd still be there with him, with the boys.

A hand is placed on his shoulder, he looks over to see Felix who sighs. "Chan..." He sniffs but it's futile as another sob escapes him and he just lets the tears fall. "A-After this long I-I still m-miss him. I-I still thought I c-could get him back..." Felix pulls him into a hug, letting him crying into his shoulder for a moment.

"Hyung...it's been seven years..." "Don't you think I know that?!" He snapped quietly but still let Felix attempt to fix his makeup. "I-I know...that it's b-been seven years...b-but he was...he was my f-first boyfriend, I loved him and it's hurting me because I still regret not seeing the neglect sooner. How could I, his fucking leader, not realize he was missing from practices or meetings. How could I be so blind?" "Hyung, we're at fault too." "Yeah, but I'm the main one that should've seen it. I-I'm the...the leader, I...I should've seen it..." His voice gradually became a whisper.

"Channie-Hyung..." Inhaling softly, he lifts his head, spinning around to come face to face with you and Seonghwa.

(POV Change)

As Seonghwa led you back, you realized that you just walked away. You didn't acknowledge them, you didn't wave back but do you have to? Last you checked, they didn't care about you but you still stopped in your tracks, zoned out for a moment as the male holding your hand tried to bring you back.

"Hey, Mn-ie, come back to me. You okay?" "Stray Kids is who hurt me...Th-They were the ones to- to shove me away and ignore me and neglect me." "Oh, Mn..." "I-I'm sorry I didn't t-tell any of you sooner, I just-" You bit your lip, willing yourself to not cry but seeing them after so long seemed to have brought the pain back. You could see the hope in Chan's eyes before you turned away and you found it unbelievable because even he was neglecting you but you also...felt bad?

"Hey, don't cry, it's okay." "I-I don't know why I feel guilty, Hwa. I-I shouldn't be feeling guilty and yet..." You take a deep breath, wiping your tears away carefully. "Maybe you should forgive them?" "Why should I do that? I was chosen to be in this group but then they were pushing me away and forgetting me. What was the point of adding me if I was to be forgotten?" "Mn-ie, they regret it. I could see it on their faces as I came to get you and they called out for you. They want you back, at least as a friend."

"But they-" "Mn...You know what else I can see?" "What?" You sniff. "You want your friends back." Seonghwa smiled at you gently, he knows you miss them deep down and thinking about it, you're still hurt from what they did to you but you do want them back. "Come on, Mn. You miss them and they've been missing you. I just know it."

With a sigh, you nod and Seonghwa takes you back to them. When you get there, you see Chan in Felix's arms. "I...I should've seen it..." You hear him mutter, stepping closer, the other boys have seen you returned and you speak up. "Channie-Hyung..." He turns towards you, staring at you, stunned that you came back and you have tear stains on your cheek.

You glance at Seonghwa who nods gently which just barely convinced you to step closer to the others. They watch your every step, waiting for what you're gonna do or say.

Smiling awkwardly, you reach out your hand, gesturing to Chan when all he did was stare at it before he took it. You pull him towards you, wrapping your arms around him in a hug. A small gasp leaves Chan as he stands there, arms hesitating around you and you laugh. "You can hug back, you know?" It was instant, his arms tight around you and his face buried in your shoulder. "We're sorry, Mn...I-I'm sorry." He cried and you rub his back.

"Hyung?" You look over to Felix on your left. He's as tall as you now and he looks even more precious, if that's even possible. "C'mere." You extend the arm around Chan's back out to him and he hugs you as well.

When Felix and Chan finally pull away, another member is suddenly wrapping his arms around your middle. Looking down, you laugh softly while wrapping your arms around Jisung. You also hug Hyunjin and Jeongin.

"We really are sorry, Mn." "I know...but what you did wasn't nice..." They nod, lowering their heads. "but I think after this long...I can sort of forgive you..." They looked like a deer in headlights making you giggle. "We can be friends again. I miss you guys." They smile, Felix hugs you again before stepping back and you turn to Chan.

You take a look towards Seonghwa and he nods. You don't even have to say anything and it honestly shocks you how well he can read you.

"Channie?" He looks up, his hands wringing together. You think you've never seen him looking so nervous. "Come here." He steps up to you and you take his hands into yours. "I know that I left abruptly...and didn't talk to you before leaving but you know why, correct?" He nods his head, his eyes still downcast. "I can see that you had some hope but I'm with Seonghwa..." He nods again and you can see tears welling up in his eyes again. " We can be friends though..." You smile. "Is that okay?" His eyes finally meet yours, smiling a bit. "Yeah, th-that's fine. I-I did have hope but honestly the most I wanted was just to have you back with us. I-It felt so...weird without you even after so long. I missed you...but I'm really glad you found someone else...we were terrible to you- I was terrible to you."

"Channie, your rambling." "S-sorry." He laughs before gasping and staring at you, glancing to Seonghwa then back at you. You kissed his cheek but the look in your eye was forgiving and he hugged you again. "But do anything dumb like that again and I'm gone." They knew you were half joking, there was a smile on your face and they laughed.

"Hyung, we gotta go fix your make up before going on stage." "Right, sorry for keeping you for so long." "You're fine, Mn. It's good to have you back." "You can't take me away though, you'd have to fight him and Wooyoung." "What do you mean?" Hyunjin asks and all you do is wink before stepping back to Seonghwa and leaving for your table again. "See you guys later."

There's still apart of you that never wanted to do that but Seonghwa made a point later that what you did was a good thing. You've had a grudge for seven years and he saw how regretful they looked. You agreed that it was time to let it go only with some hesitance.

But you realized in the passing days that they made up for it. If you had similar off days they would invite you out, they talked to you more whether it be nonsense or what they did that week. Jisung and Wooyoung jokingly fought for you. Han has made a couple comments about stealing you from Ateez and the fans found the joke fighting adorable.

When Stay noticed that the boys looked happier, lighter, of course the detective Stays did their digging and the most they found was a few pictures of you with a couple of the boys you've posted either at public events or pictures you've taken during outings you've had with the boys.

It doesn't matter though, all they care about is that you've seemed to have made up with Stray Kids --even though all they knew about your departure was that it was mental health issues-- and they're happy to see you with them again.

[berryunho]

THE ANSWER: XXVII

Kim Hongjoong doesn’t like the word ‘cult.’ He prefers ‘sect.’ pairing: ateez x fem reader genre: cult au, thriller, angst check warnings on AO3

← previous || next → || masterlist chapter word count: 8,561

You take in San’s words, blinking aggressively. You pull your face away from his, your questions clear from your expression.

San squeezes his eyes shut, unable to look at you for too long. “I can’t explain it now. Or, well, I’ll explain it all soon, but we need to leave.”

“Leave? Like, the farm?” You question, your words coming faster than you can control them. “What? San? Did something happen?” 

He opens his eyes, then, staring into yours. The pain is evident in his face, his internal struggle still battling. 

“After today, I can’t predict what Hongjoong will do to get you to break.” San admits, tears welling in his eyes. “He’s going to hurt you, and if he can’t, he’ll kill you.” 

“What happened to you, San?” You ask, more concerned by his disheveled appearance than by the revelation of the thoughts that you’ve had hundreds of times. 

He shakes his head. “It’s not important, I promise. I’m fine.” He pauses, sucking in a breath. “How do you feel?” 

“I’m fine, San, just shaken up, I guess. Do you know how Hongjoong did that?” 

His hands squeeze your forearms tighter, gripping you like he’s going to lose you. “I have no idea. But if he’s willing to go this far, I… fuck, I can’t believe it. I have to get you away from this.” 

You can only gape at him. You can’t believe that San is saying these things to you. San had always been so loyal to Hongjoong, even leading up to the very moments before the ceremony. What could possibly have made him flip his entire script so quickly? 

It’s almost touching to realize how much San must care for you. If he’s willing to abandon this for you… Fuck. 

“San, when can we go?” You try to not sound so eager, but the prospect of getting away is so sweet. 

He presses a kiss to your forehead before replying. “I have to think on it, but I swear that it will be soon. I can’t believe it’s taken me so long to figure it out.” 

You want to ask what it is that he’s figured out or what made him realize, but that sits in the backseat compared to the thought that suddenly rises to the forefront of your mind. “What about Haseul? And Mingi?” 

San freezes, still searching your face. He opens and closes his mouth a couple times, but no words come out. 

“San?” 

“I,” he pauses, biting his lip, “I’ll have to think about it more. We might have to come back for them.” 

You don’t like that idea, but you had thought it yourself a few times before. It would be a lot easier to get yourself out and come back with people that could actually stand a chance against this group rather than try and sneak out with someone else, risking all of your lives in the process. 

“Just trust me, yeah?” He smiles, letting go of your arms to readjust his shirt. 

You nod, throwing the blanket off of your legs. This is as good of a time as any to get out of the infirmary. Whatever had been going on with San, they must not care too much if you’re back with him considering the fact that he’s here now. 

Once San is reassembled, he offers you his hand again, helping you stand as you swing your legs off the bed. The two of you leave the room, passing by Nayeon as you walk down the hallway. She waves, smiling while you go. 

San drops your hand once you’re outside, but keeps one on the small of your back. He could reasonably pass that off as just helping you stay upright. 

By now, it’s mid-morning, almost 11. The sun is high and the fields— 

For the first time since you had arrived at the farm, you saw the farm equipment actually being put to use. A huge combine harvester moves through the field, still relatively close to the barn. You’re awestruck to actually see work being done, amazed that the time has passed so quickly. 

You halt in your tracks, lifting a hand up to shield your eyes from the sun so that you can watch the machine move. It doesn’t move particularly fast, but, by God, is it freaky looking. You wouldn’t want that thing coming to run you down, that’s for sure.

Which only reminds you of the time that you had tried to escape. And then resorted to hiding in the corn. 

When all of the corn is harvested, how will this place look? Barren. Cold. You don’t want to picture it; all that land with nowhere to hide. Will you even have to see it? Maybe you’ll be gone by then. 

A waving figure catches your eye off in the distance. You’re easily able to identify Yeosang once you look fully at him, and you raise your hand back in greeting, having to squint your eyes against the sun. 

San doesn’t wave back, instead ushering you to turn back toward the compound and keep moving. 

“Are we in a rush?” You ask, allowing him to steer you toward the door. 

San glances around, “I wouldn’t say that. But I’d feel better if we were alone in our apartment.” 

Well, okay, you guess. You would think that it would be a bit suspicious if you both suddenly started acting differently, but it’ll probably be okay for right now. At least until you can talk to San about everything. 

You head inside, trying to walk to the stairs. But you’re stopped before either of you can make the first step, a voice calling your name behind you.

It’s Wooyoung, you realize, before you even turn around to face him. 

“Aren’t you going to eat anything?” 

You glare across the foyer at him, wondering what kind of nerve this kid must have to be talking to you like you’re best friends again. 

He has a point, though. You turn your attention to your stomach, but you’re not surprised that the general sense of nausea and unease still lingers there; nothing like hunger. “I’m not hungry.” 

You know better than to directly accuse him of drugging you again. You really don’t know if he did… it’s possible that he didn’t. But, really, looking back on it… Ugh, you’ll just ask San later. He had already told you what he thought, but… you don’t know. Just, whatever. 

Wooyoung squints, a flat expression on his face. “Are you feeling alright after everything? Not just anyone can say they stood down a Guardian.” 

That’s really rich, coming from Wooyoung, you have to admit. The guy that basically told you that you need to accept your role in this place because he isn’t happy with his, either. Maybe he’s trying to sympathize with you, as a fellow skeptic. You won’t take the “compliment” at face value, but you still don’t appreciate the remark. 

“I’m perfectly fine,” you shrug, hoping to end the conversation there. 

He doesn’t look convinced. “I’ll have someone run some food up for you guys.” 

San thanks him for you, clearly ending the conversation there. He ushers the both of you up the stairs and to your apartment, swiftly locking the door behind you once you’re inside. 

You look around your apartment, almost expecting something to have changed, but nothing has. Everything is just how you left it this morning, not a single thing out of order. 

“Are we talking about this now, then?” You question, looking to San as he paces in front of the couch. He doesn’t stop pacing, but he does gesture for you to sit down, “you’re really worrying me, San.” 

He halts in place then, frowning, but not sitting next to you. “I’m sorry, it’s just…” he lets his sentence hang in the air, “I can’t believe… I can’t believe it.” 

“What happened to you while I was out?” You want to reach out and grab his hand, but you can’t, he’s moving too much. 

San starts pacing again, “well, first of all, sorry for disappearing on your right before the ceremony.” You nod, encouraging him to continue. “Seonghwa appeared out of nowhere and pulled me aside to talk about literally nothing and then, by the time I realized what was happening, the ceremony had started and I couldn’t have helped you.” 

He freezes, as if recalling the memory, “and then the ceremony happened. And, and that thing appeared. I hope to God that Hongjoong or Seonghwa or someone was able to explain that to you, because I can’t. I don’t know what that was, I’ve never seen anything like it or heard of Hongjoong—” he stops abruptly. “I mean that I don’t know how that happened. And I saw it grab you and I seriously, I thought that it was now, that, that Hongjoong had enough of you and— I thought you were going to die.” 

It’s only now that his voice falters, breaking with his last sentence. You’re no stranger to San’s emotions, but his tears always have an effect on you. To his credit, he does a good job of keeping it mostly together as he keeps speaking. 

“But then it was over, and you were on the ground, and I tried to stand up to go to you, but Seonghwa held me down, and I couldn’t do anything. I felt so helpless watching Hongjoong pick you up, watching Mingi run to his side to take you off of his hands and carry you out. I tried to get up again, but Seonghwa wouldn’t let me go. I almost fucking hit him.” He shakes at the memory, his voice thick with both anger and his tears. “We stayed there for a long time. We just waited until Hongjoong came back, and he sure fucking came back. He was incensed. Didn’t even say why. Even Seonghwa looked nervous as he screamed and bitched and threw shit around.” 

.・。.・゜✭ ⧖ ・.・ ⧖ ✫・゜・。.

“You will not take her from me!” Hongjoong screams, at neither man in particular. “I don’t care which one of you it is; I forbade it for a reason and I will be fucking respected!” 

Seonghwa doesn’t move an inch at San’s side. San doesn’t say anything, either.

Hongjoong’s rage permeates the chapel. “Why isn’t she scared? Why isn’t she terrified, whimpering and begging for her life at my feet?” He starts pacing up and down the aisle, kicking copies of The Answer that he had thrown to the ground. “Doesn’t she realize that I am the only thing standing between her and a cold grave?” He whirls to face the other two men. “Answer me!”

“I think she is scared of you,” San mutters, “but she’s good at hiding it in front of you.” 

Hongjoong’s face contorts into a smile, and San knows that he’s fucked up. “Is that it? How do you know, San? Do you hold her at night while she cries in your arms at my cruelty?” 

San only blinks, unable to respond in a way that would please his leader. 

“She doesn’t know about Haseul yet. What is she going to think when she finds out that her boyfriend let her die?” 

“Hongjoong—,” Seonghwa cuts in, “She can’t know about Haseul, even if you want to scare her. It’s invaluable for us to be able to hold this ove—”

“You will not tell me what I can and cannot do, Park Seonghwa!” Hongjoong yells, “I am in charge here! I am! If I want her to know about Haseul, she will know about Haseul.” 

“Of course you are, Hongjoong, you don’t need to be so angry.” Seonghwa tries to console Hongjoong, to absolutely no avail. 

Hongjoong puts his palms together, resting his index fingers on his forehead as he thinks. “I cannot take this disrespect much longer.” 

The chapel remains in tense silence, neither San nor Seonghwa wanting to be the first to say something.

Apparently that’s not what Hongjoong wanted, either. “Seonghwa,” he gets the man’s attention, “hold San steady for me, would you?”

San knows what’s coming. Hongjoong’s had it out for him for ages, and this is finally it. He’s outlived his purpose, his presence is only backfiring, it’s time for him to go. He knew that it was coming, he should’ve known that it would be now. His death would utterly destroy (Y/n), there would be nothing for her to do except accept her fate. 

Seonghwa does as Hongjoong instructs, standing behind him to hold his arms in place. San doesn’t struggle. He has to be strong. Go bravely. That’s what he wants. 

But Hongjoong surprises him. He takes a step toward him, smoothing his own ceremonial shirt before grabbing the hem of San’s and pulling it out of his pants. 

Oh… San really hadn’t been expecting tha—

But then Hongjoong hits him. Just once. 

“We’ll see how she feels when you’re not so pretty.” Hongjoong spits, literally, onto the floor of the chapel. 

San can hardly hear him through the pain rippling over his jaw, but the message is clear enough. He doesn’t need a mirror to taste the blood, or feel it pouring down his chin. Seonghwa lets go of his arms and it takes everything in him to not double over. Instead, he looks up at Hongjoong, unintimidated. 

Hongjoong stretches his hand. “She asked for you, Seonghwa. Better go comfort her.” He glares up at him. “But not too well.” 

.・。.・゜✭ ⧖ ・.・ ⧖ ✫・゜・。.

Of course, unbeknownst to you, San leaves the… sensitive details out as he recounts Hongjoong’s tantrum for you. Not a single word of Haseul is spoken to you, but the rest is mostly accurate. 

You sit in horror as San recounts these details to you, unsure how to even react. You’ve always known that Hongjoong is capable of violence, and Seonghwa, too, but to hear of them acting such violence onto San, of all people… it’s almost unthinkable. At some point in the not too distant past, Hongjoong had trusted San to watch over you at all times of the day, and now? His own paranoia has driven him to violence? 

Your thoughts wander to Seonghwa against your own better judgment. Seonghwa is his own person, he’s taking care of himself. He doesn’t want you meddling in his relationships, and he has made this more than abundantly clear. 

But how does Hongjoong treat him? It can’t be kind. You’ve seen the slights between them, seen Hongjoong deny Seonghwa of even the simplest pleasure. Behind closed doors, what do they talk about? How does Hongjoong act around him? 

Though you’re loath to admit it, you have to worry for him. If Hongjoong is violent with you, the person he considers to be one of the most important figures in his religion… that doesn’t bode well for Seonghwa. 

“San,” you bring your thoughts back to the present moment, “I’m so sorry that you went through that for me.” 

He doesn’t stop pacing, almost ignoring your sentiment all together. “Hongjoong is crazy.” 

“I’ve known that for a while now.” 

San smiles. Smiles. “I don’t think you understand the extent of it.”

You find that hard to believe, but there probably are things that San knows about Hongjoong that you don’t.

“But that’s not important for right now. I just need you to keep your distance from him as much as possible; I’ll ask Seonghwa for his help—”

“Seonghwa?” You’re astounded. “You’re going to ask Seonghwa to help us escape?” 

San shakes his head, squeezing his eyes shut, not looking at you. “No, but he’ll keep you away from Hongjoong. That’s basically his number one priority, anyways.” 

It makes sense. If Hongjoong is as volatile as he was with Seonghwa and San earlier, he’s a danger to be around. Even more so than usual. But getting Seonghwa’s help… “Won’t it be obvious what we’re trying to do?”

“You already avoid Hongjoong,” San says. “I don’t think it will be a drastic enough change to draw attention, as long as you’re not refusing to see Seonghwa.” 

The way with which San says this last sentence… is different. He’s not stuttering anymore, you realize. He hasn’t been for a while, now. When San is upset, his stutter is more pronounced than anything else, its absence is suddenly so jarring that you have to wonder why you didn’t realize when it stopped. 

There’s no emotion in his voice anymore. No personality, no San. 

You stare up at him, watching him walk back and forth in front of you. He’s not upset, not anymore, at least. What is this? 

“San.” You try to get his attention. “Are you alright?” 

He finally stops walking, if just for a second, to give you a good look at his face. “I’m fine,” he states. His eyes aren’t red, his breathing is perfectly even, his expression flat. “Why do you ask?” 

“You’re scaring me,” you say. “What’s going on?”

San resumes his pacing. “You should be scared, I should be scared, I should’ve been this whole time; But I’ve been so stupid and now isn’t the time for me to be some sniveling boy.”

You can’t respond to that. 

“I think I know when we can try to get out. I’m not going to fail you this time, (Y/n), I swear.”  

“San, wait, hold on,” you start, shaking your head, “what about your laptop? The phones? Can’t you just call the cops?” 

San smiles tightly, “I considered it, but there would be issues. Hongjoong has a plan, and things would not end well if law enforcement got involved and Hongjoong had more than five seconds to think before he was arrested or killed.” 

“So you’re seriously proposing that we run away, leaving everyone else here… forever… including the children?” 

“Would you rather be alive and here or dead and buried?” San blinks. “That’s what this comes down to for the rest of the group. We can find a way to get Mingi and Haseul, but it’s not feasible to save everyone knowing that Hongjoong has a plan for this exact situation.” 

Your stomach rolls over itself as he explains this. How can you just leave? How could you leave everyone behind and forget about them? How could San even suggest something so horrible?

The thought of freedom is enticing, but the weight that would remain on your conscience… It makes you sick just thinking about it now. 

Whatever. Fuck San. You’ll remedy the situation yourself once you’re out. There’s not a chance in hell you’d leave all of these innocent people to rot on this farm. 

San’s apathy is so jarring. Maybe that’s what waking up after years of brainwashing does to a person.

You don’t want to judge him when he’s so clearly doing this for you. To protect you. You can hardly complain that he’s resolved in this situation. 

… Yeah, no, it still rubs you the wrong way.

But you’ll shrug it off for now. “When can we go?” 

.・。.・゜✭ ⧖ ・.・ ⧖ ✫・゜・。.

San explains the general idea to you, which he’ll refine in the coming weeks. 

With the beginning of the harvest starting, that puts the farm about one month out from the conclusion. Apparently, they don’t actually own that much acreage, just enough to surround the commune itself, so harvest doesn’t take very long. Throughout the month, there are various ceremonies that all culminate into one, final, grand ceremony at the end of the harvest. After this ceremony, there’s a party. 

It was about here when you realized where this was going.

The party is huge, apparently. Like, all-out, rager huge. Everyone gets drunk (apparently this is part of the ceremony) and everything gets a bit wild and confusing. San’s proposal is that the two of you make a break for it when everyone is (a) extremely inebriated and (b) distracted by the celebrations. 

It’s kind of cliche, but you have to imagine that it’ll work, especially if this party is as crazy as San explained. 

If it doesn’t work… the thought puts a bitter taste in your mouth. You’re not going to start pondering what you’ll do if you get caught for a second time. 

Really, this plan should work. San has access to the vehicles. With a car, you can be fifty miles away before anyone even realizes that you’re gone, so long as Hongjoong lets you out of his sight for even just a few minutes. 

With all of the noise and distractions, no one will hear the car starting. No one will hear you guys peeling out, the terrible crunch of the gravel under the wheels that you had heard what felt like so long ago. 

You think back to the night in the corn field. What a shitshow. You had to give it to yourself, you were very brave. And you got quite far for the amount of preparation that you had done. But that night… 

Remains one that you want to forget. But you’ll never forget the fear coursing through your veins, the feeling of your heart in your chest, your ears twitching with every sound that you heard. When Seonghwa was chasing you, when Hongjoong reduced you to a puddle at his feet. 

It was like being hunted for sport. 

You have to hold out hope that the car will make all of the difference here, which you’re sure that it can. Where you’re going to go… you aren’t sure. 

Surely, you know that you have to get law enforcement involved, but what San said is weighing on your mind… Maybe, if you fully explained the situation, you could get some sort of covert mission operating… But that would probably have its pitfalls, too. It’s hard to know what’s right, but you trust that you’ll figure it out once you’ve saved yourself. 

There’s also the option that the police will entirely write you off and think you’re just some crazy lady. Especially if San… 

No, wait, pause. San would tell the truth, right? Like, he would be your witness? He wouldn’t actually just let this keep happening once he’s out… 

God, the fact that you even have to weigh this option is exhausting. Why can’t you just trust him? You’ve had no problem with it before, so why should it be an issue now? Has San ever done anything to betray your trust? Minus him being a high-ranking cult official, but, like, that’s just part of the deal. You have to trust him, especially now.  If you can’t trust San, who can you trust? 

Your mind wanders to your apartment, your old college dorm room, your childhood bedroom. How dreamy would it be to be anywhere but here? You miss your big bed and your pantry full of snacks you actually like and your bookshelves stacked with your books. You miss sleeping alone, but hearing your neighbors through your thin walls; when you didn’t have a sanctioned bed time that everyone obeyed. 

On your nightstand at home, you have a framed picture of your friends. You try to picture their faces, all of them. Changbin, Mingi, Soojin, Haseul, Juyeon, and Jungeun. And, of course, your own face. When’s the last time you looked in the mirror? You think of your features, your hair, the color of your eyes and your smile. 

Horrifyingly, you can only picture Hongjoong’s smile. 

You stop trying to picture yourself.

Mingi comes to the forefront of your mind. Mingi. Do all roads lead back to Mingi? It feels like it. San had said that Mingi had run to you when you fainted, that he’d taken you from Hongjoong and carried you to the infirmary. You try to picture it, the feeling of Mingi’s arms wrapped around you again. Had he held you close, like a friend, or sterile, far away from his own body, the act of an EMT? Had he let your head hang upside down, over his arm, or did he support your neck like you would a baby? 

You don’t know what feels right. You only know that Mingi had held you and Mingi had cared. 

Maybe he threw you over his shoulder like he used to do when you refused to follow him somewhere. Probably unlikely. But you smile as you think about it, anyways, how he always used his height to his advantage and how he would sling you around like you weighed nothing. 

How many times did he have to carry you to the library? How many times did he carry you out of the library? What does carrying someone mean? When is it an act of love and when is it an act of control?

Haseul had been carried. Where is she, now? In a little room? Is Wooyoung talking to her, keeping her company? Has Mingi been a good companion to her? Is she being subjugated to Hongjoong and Seonghwa, yet? Are you going to have to attend her own Choosing ceremony, soon? 

Hongjoong wouldn’t trust you to just silently watch her ceremony, you know that well enough. It’ll probably just happen and you’ll be told after the fact. When its too late to warn her. The next time you see her, she’ll probably be in the infirmary, recovering from a fucking stab wound. 

Your own scar tingles. Would Hongjoong just kill her? He had made it clear that he decides who lives and who dies. He could just lethally aim the knife. And wouldn’t that be the ultimate punishment? Not knowing she’s dead until being told after the fact? Not being able to see her one last time? 

San wouldn’t let that happen. He would warn you, he would try to help her again, you’re sure of it. 

So you just have to focus on yourself, for now. Keep your head down, wait it out, and trust San. That’s really all that you can do. You can’t help Haseul while you’re stuck here, just like you can’t help Mingi, either. 

.・。.・゜✭ ⧖ ・.・ ⧖ ✫・゜・。.

You had half expected Hongjoong to give you a break for a few days, considering your encounter with… whatever that thing was, but that illusion is quickly destroyed when Seonghwa comes knocking on your door at the usual time the next day. 

San answers, quickly lowering his voice in what sounds like an attempt to plead with Seonghwa to leave you alone for the day. You sneak up behind San, making eye contact with Seonghwa as your appearance calls his attention. 

“What do you think, princess?” He sounds as pissed as he looks. You can imagine that he wants to be here just as much as you want him here.

Resting a hand on San’s shoulder, you tell him that you’re fine to go. Afterall, how else are you supposed to keep up appearances? And you need to learn more about what this month has in store for you.

San steps aside as Seonghwa offers you his hand, which you take. Strange, though, that he doesn’t take your arm as he usually would. Is this his way of…

Your last conversation echoes in your head. Seonghwa seemed genuinely concerned. And quite rattled. And he was honest with you, as much as you could expect him to be. Maybe he’s feeling bad. Or sentimental. Or protective. 

… Pft, who are you kidding? He probably didn’t even think twice about taking your hand instead of your arm.

Hand-in-hand, you walk silently to Hongjoong’s apartment.

Fuck. You can only hope that he’s not there. You could probably play off your curiosity about the month as your worry about what’s going to happen to you, but something tells you that Hongjoong is going to be looking for reasons to be cruel. Or you’re going to be in for some intense attempts at gaslighting you into believing… 

You have to resist a shudder at the memory. With enough effort, you probably could believe that that shit was real. Didn’t you have to beg Seonghwa to tell you that it wasn’t? You still don’t understand what the hell that even was or how it could’ve been faked, but you really can’t bring yourself to think of it. 

Seonghwa drops your hand to open the door, holding it open behind him to allow you to enter as well. 

Hesitantly, you glance around the apartment. 

“He’s not here,” Seonghwa says. “But he wants you here when he comes back.” 

The door shuts, and you sit at your usual spot on the couch. Seonghwa flops into his chair, facing you. 

“When will he be back?” 

He just shrugs, folding his arms across his chest. The image takes you back to a certain other night the two of you have been alone, and you have to clench your jaw to drive away the thoughts, looking anywhere else but at his body. 

“I suppose you have more questions.” Seonghwa doesn't ask you this, but tells you. 

Yeah, you have a lot of questions. The primary ones you either can't ask Seonghwa or you've asked him already, to no avail. 

You look at your nail beds, trying to be nonchalant. “Are you still jealous of San?” 

Why that's the question you decide to ask, you have no idea. 

Seonghwa scoffs. “Really?” He asks. “That's where we're going?” 

Shrugging, you try your best to resist looking at him. “I just thought it was strange that Hongjoong didn't want me to see him yesterday. I can't help but imagine that you must still be feeding him lies,” you say. “He also told me that it was you that had to physically hold him back when I fell.” Not to mention the other holding he did. 

Though you don't look at him, you can imagine his displeasure spreading across his expression. “I don't know why you insist that there's nothing between you. It's nothing to be ashamed of, minus the fact that your misadventures could only cause harm to San.” 

“Exactly,” your eyes flit up to his face, “I'd never put him in danger.” 

“Your loyalty to a man you hardly know is admirable,” Seonghwa says through a sneer. 

“I know San better than I know you.” 

You could swear his eye twitches. “Sure you do.” 

“Is there something you want to tell me?” You blink. “I have no reason to not trust San, and every reason to not trust you.” 

Seonghwa shakes his head, smiling. “I think you're forgetting your situation, Princess. San is your punishment, and you're his.” He brushes his bangs out of his eyes. “I never said you had to trust me. I think you do, anyways.”

You stay silent, knowing that he's at least partially correct. You probably do trust Seonghwa, at least more than a lot of the people here. 

“Otherwise, you wouldn't have asked for me to calm you yesterday.” 

“I asked for San, first.”

“And what would he have told you?” Seonghwa leans forward, elbows on his knees. “Not what you wanted to hear. He wouldn't have been able to assure you of anything. I did.” 

Again, you know he's right. San hadn't been able to do much to calm your nerves, despite tell you his plan for your escape. 

You lock eyes with him, planning to defend San, but your gaze betrays you. Seonghwa leans back in the chair, knowing he's got you.

“Who was in the costume?” You ask instead. 

Seonghwa deigns to look confused. “I'm not sure what you mean.” 

The frustration of the prior day comes back at full force. Why can't just one other person acknowledge the fucking insanity of this place? Why can't Seonghwa just say what he means? Why is he so insistent on agreeing with Hongjoong, no matter the cost?

“Do you ever get tired of being Hongjoong's lapdog?” 

“Lapdog?” He smiles. “Come here.”

You swallow as he gestures for you to stand in front of him, recognizing the gesture from weeks prior. “No.”

Seonghwa stands instead, stepping around the coffee table to be able to stand before you. Forced into looking up at him, you hate this upper hand he's suddenly gained through your refusal. 

He bends, using a hand to grip the sofa behind your shoulder. Face to face, he mockingly pouts. “That's what you think of me?” 

You keep your mouth shut, hoping your gaze is burning through him.

“You said it yourself,” he leans closer to you, “you hardly know me.” 

With his face so close to your own, you hardly even feel like you can breathe, like it would be encroaching on his space. You glance between his eyes, trying your damnedest to not look anywhere else. If you looked at his lips… his pretty, plump lips… 

Fortunately, or, perhaps unfortunately, the doorknob starts rattling a few feet away from the both of you, and Seonghwa quickly leans out of the compromising position. Slipping a hand in his pocket, he stares down at you once more. “This isn’t over.” 

The door opens, but neither of you turn to greet who you know will be in the doorway. You’d have to imagine it’s quite a sight to see, the both of your staring daggers at each other, unwilling to be the first to look away. 

Hongjoong isn’t pleased by your ignorance. He slams the door behind him as he enters his apartment, and Seonghwa finally relieves you of his look. 

Your eyes only move to Hongjoong when he comes to stand next to Seonghwa, his hand resting on his bicep.

“Well, well, well,” he says, “having a lively conversation? Without me?” 

Hongjoong gently turns Seonghwa so that he’s angled to sit on the couch, pushing him down until he’s sitting right next to you. Your thighs brush. Hongjoong moves back to sit on the chair Seonghwa vacated, settling himself in before speaking again. 

“Have you had time to reflect on what happened yesterday?” Hongjoong inquires, tilting his head. He’s wearing his glasses, the overhead light reflecting off of them, obscuring his irises. “If I seemed frustrated with you, I must apologize. You have to understand that it was a very scary experience, even for myself. And I forgive you for the way that you reacted, as well.”

You squint at Hongjoong. As if you had anything to be sorry for. He’s the one that got himself all mad for no reason. He should be apologizing to San. 

But you can only imagine how this conversation will go if you continue to argue with him about the validity of the… thing. And San requested you to keep a low profile. He probably wouldn’t want you bringing up his mistreatment. So you nod a couple times, hoping that he doesn’t want you to vocalize an apology. 

“You must have been in shock,” Hongjoong continues. “Which would explain your inability to accept what had happened.” 

Nodding again, you try to figure out where he’s going with this. Does he want you to start asking questions? Does he seriously, genuinely believe that you’ve lost it, now? He can’t.

So, what? He just wants you to act like you have? He must know that it would just be a ruse, so why does he want you to go along with it so badly?

Seonghwa certainly knows that you’re not fooled, and you can expect that he told Hongjoong this after you spoke to him yesterday. Who is this act for, exactly? 

“As important as you are, it makes sense that you were targeted. The Guardians, in fact, are responsible for the loss of your predecessor.” 

Okay, so, that’s a lie. Hongjoong told you as much himself. He’s really going to go back on his word, gaslight you into forgetting what he already said? He might be able to get you to forget what he told you about Haneul, but not so soon after you found out about her. 

Haneul’s memory is alive and well in your head, despite the fact that you never met her. You owe it to her to remember the facts of her life, and her death, as best as you can. It awakens a tinge of anger in you to even hear Hongjoong so blatantly disregard her truth. He told you, to your face, that he liked you more than her. So he got rid of her. Not these “guardians” or whatever the fuck he’s trying to blame for her death. 

“The Guardians,” you say, plainly. “Are… what, exactly?” 

Hongjoong leans back in the chair, crossing his arms. “Well, there’s quite an extensive explanation in The Answer, but I suppose it could be beneficial to hear about them from me.

“The Guardians, simply put, are our antagonists. They protect the Sign, keeping it in the hands of those that oppose us. When we’re close to reaching the Sign, or when the barrier is thinner than normal, such as during a ceremony, they can appear. They’re rather frightening, and they can kill or bring Followers back to their dimension.”

… You blink at Hongjoong, remembering to nod periodically through his explanation. What are you supposed to say to that? 

“So, yesterday, then, it was trying to… kill me?” You ask, sensing that Hongjoong wants something to bounce off of. 

He tsks. “I don’t suspect kill, but rather kidnap. If they know that you’ve been Chosen, they’ll continue to target you whenever the barrier is thin. Surely they know that we would go to great lengths to recover you if they were able to steal you away.” 

Hongjoong speaks with such a conviction that you can see how people are led to believe in him. If you had a weaker mindset, his crock of shit might just make sense. Or be just scary enough to make you want to believe that he could protect you. 

“But you scared it away? Yesterday?” 

Hongjoong nods gravely, closing his eyes. “They fear my presence, thankfully. Very rarely can they stand to be in the same room as me.” 

You smile, hopefully not sarcastically. “That’s very lucky for me, then.” 

“It is,” Seonghwa cuts in, surprisingly. “Hongjoong will always be with you, so you’ll always be safe.” Even more surprising than his words, Seonghwa slides his hand into resting on your mid-thigh, assuringly squeezing you. You turn toward him with wide eyes, about to question what the hell he thinks he’s doing, when his expression makes it very clear to you that you should drop the subject. 

Bizarre. Why would Seonghwa be warning you to stop talking about what Hongjoong so clearly wants you to speak about? 

So you turn back toward Hongjoong, who’s agreeing with what Seonghwa said, seemingly oblivious to his little boyfriend’s hand on your thigh. “Is there any way to protect myself, if I am alone?” You ask instead of heeding Seonghwa’s warning. 

He squeezes your thigh harder, but you ignore it. What the hell is he trying to steer you away from? If he doesn’t want you to talk about it, surely it’s something that you’re going to want to know, right? Seonghwa can’t be looking out for you, not when Hongjoong is in the room. He has his priorities in order, and Hongjoong far outweighs yourself. 

“Great question,” Hongjoong smiles approvingly. “So long as you have a Sign of the Answer on your person, you can fend them off yourself. They revere the Sign, they won’t harm someone under its protection.”

If that’s the case… you would’ve been fine, yesterday, then. As always, you had been wearing a Sign pinned to your shirt, somewhere. Though Hongjoong would probably try to argue with you that you must have been missing it, otherwise the Guardian wouldn’t have been able to attack.

But then that also raises the question. Is kidnapping someone the same as harming them? Maybe it wouldn’t have killed you, but could it still have taken you? Assuming that Hongjoong isn’t just some very creative psycho, that is. Purely for thought exercise, you have to wonder what the Sign could really protect someone from. Was yesterday an attack? Or merely an appearance?

You sense that Seonghwa is trying to warn you away from the areas that Hongjoong doesn’t have fleshed out. For all you know, yesterday is the first time that a Guardian has ever appeared in the flesh. Hongjoong might not have prepared for every possible question that you could ask. 

The questions that you’re most curious about are things that you can’t ask him. Who did he have dressed up? How did they make that stature, that outfit, that… aura? Where was the face? Were you drugged? Was everyone drugged? Did everyone see the same thing that you did, or is everyone collectively lying to you to help their leader? Seriously, where the fuck was that thing’s face? How did they do that? If it wasn’t for that gaping maw of nothingness, you’d have a much easier time writing the entire experience off as the complete joke that you logically know it must have been. You push the thought away for now. 

“I’ll be sure to always wear my pins, then.” You motion to where you have one pinned to your collar. “I have questions about the ceremonies in general, though, Hongjoong. Can I ask a few things?” 

He motions for you to proceed, and Seonghwa’s hand doesn’t tighten its hold on you, so you do. “Will there be more sacrifices?” 

Hongjoong nods. “There’s a sacrifice for each ceremony.”

“What is the sacrifice for? To what deity?” 

A hint of exasperation crosses his face as Seonghwa slides his hand a little higher. “I’ve explained this. Sacrifices are sent to different universes as aid for our clones. There’s no God in particular the sacrifice is for, except for me.” 

“So they can even use animals, in the other universes? The situation is so dire?” 

Seonghwa pinches you instead of squeezing. Hongjoong’s exasperation melts into wry acceptance. “Yes, it is. Have you ever gone months without eating meat?” 

… Yeah, probably. But you’re not going to press him harder on the subject. “I was just curious, I didn’t mean to question you. How many more ceremonies will there be this month?”

Seonghwa’s hand doesn’t move, and it’s right about now that you’re starting to feel a little bit insane because of it. Why would he put his hand on your thigh, of all places? Why does it keep migrating upward? Why don’t you just say something to stop him? Or use your own hand to move his away? Why is the warmth of his palm seeping through your jeans so quickly? Why hasn’t Hongjoong said something yet?

“There will be one ceremony each weekend.” He says, calmer, now. “But you won’t have to participate in all of them. The most important ceremonies, the first and the last, are different and thus require the Bearer’s presence.” 

Well, that takes a bit of the pressure off, at least. Knowing that you don’t have to personally participate in every ceremony, though, no doubt, you’ll have to be present at each of them, makes you feel just a tad bit better. You have to imagine that Haseul’s Choosing ceremony will be soon… 

“Hongjoong, did I do good yesterday?” You ask, trying to feign your most innocent look. “Can I see Haseul, soon?” 

He gives you a small smile, but his answer doesn’t match it at all. “No. You made me quite mad, yesterday.”

The response is actually slightly shocking. You knew you had made him upset, but for him to vocalize it to you? To deny you seeing Haseul because of some bullshit that he orchestrated himself? 

“But—”

“No buts about it,” Hongjoong says. “You’ll be able to see Haseul once you’re behaving on a consistent basis.” 

“Won’t she have a Choosing ceremony?” You blurt, hoping that you weren’t the one to put the idea in his head. Maybe he had been planning on just keeping her locked up and not actually indoctrinating her. Had you even considered that? 

Hongjoong sighs. “I haven’t decided. Is she worthy of one?” 

What the hell does he mean ‘worthy?’ He’s seriously not going to jump at the chance to bring her in? If he wanted to, he could just kill her then and there; wouldn’t that be his dream? To end her life in front of you? Wouldn’t that just tickle his fancy? You don’t understand. 

Unless he’s taking a certain pity on her, which you highly doubt.

He must see your confusion painted plainly on your face, dismissing the thought with a wave of his hand. “It’s no matter. You’ll see her when you deserve to. Seonghwa,” —he abruptly changes the topic and his tone— “where exactly is your hand going?” 

Seonghwa’s hand flies off of you, landing promptly back into his own lap.

“That’s what I thought.” Hongjoong tuts. “Do we need to discuss the lines that must not be crossed, again?” 

You shake your head. You do not need the sex talk again from Hongjoong. God. And it's not like you were feeling him up. 

“Seonghwa, you look particularly guilty. Do you need to tell me something?”

You suspect that, if Seonghwa looks or feels guilty of something, it's not the hand on your thigh. It's the warning you to stray away from topics that could upset Hongjoong. 

But, glancing over at him, you’re surprised to see how red his face has gotten. Do you really get him going so easily? You could almost laugh, if not for the circumstances. Surely he's not so embarrassed just to have been seen with a hand on your leg. Its not like Hongjoong walked in on his hand down your pants or anything. And hadn’t he been all up in your face before Hongjoong arrived? Where’d that confident asshole go? 

Hongjoong’s presence makes all the difference, you suppose. Hopefully he's able to play off this little episode as embarrassment about touching you. If Hongjoong realizes what he was doing, he'd probably get in trouble. 

Which is still perplexing. Why had Seonghwa done that? Since when does he want to protect you? The way he's been acting, yesterday and today, just doesn't… align with the picture you have in your head. 

Seonghwa looks literally anywhere else than at you or Hongjoong, shaking his head as well. 

Slowly, he uses his hands to slide himself farther down the couch from you. Hongjoong chuckles from your opposite side, bringing you back into the reality that you temporarily abandoned. 

“That’s pathetic, Seonghwa, really.” 

Seonghwa simply looks back toward the coffee table, his face pink. Hongjoong is so harsh.

“Anyways,” Hongjoong calls your attention back towards him, “anything you want to tell me, (Y/n)? How’s San?”

This obsession with your relationship with San is infinitely annoying. What makes them think that you’re ever going to admit to what they suspect of you? 

“San is perfectly fine.” 

Hongjoong’s eyebrow twitches. “Oh? I only ask because he was rather… upset, yesterday, is all.”

“Wasn’t everyone a little upset?”

“Not so personally.” 

You shrug your shoulders. “I don’t know how many different ways I can tell you that you made us live together, so it’s only natural that we care about each other.” 

“Well,” is Hongjoong’s entire response. 

The room falls into a rather uncomfortable silence. 

You look back at Seonghwa, but he’s just looking at his hands, folded in his lap, now. 

Hongjoong looks at his nail beds. 

“Are we done, then?” You ask. 

“You don’t have any more questions?” Hongjoong responds with a question, not looking up at you. 

You rack your mind for anything else. Sure, there are plenty of questions, just not ones that he would be happy to answer.

“I guess not.” 

Hongjoong looks up, flicking his eyes between you and Seonghwa. “Shall I escort you back to your apartment?” 

You look back at Seonghwa, who’s now looking between you and Hongjoong. 

“I don’t have a preference,” you say, even though you definitely do. 

“I can take her,” Seonghwa springs up, offering you his hand. 

Taking it, you also stand. “I actually have one more question, Hongjoong.”

He has to look up at you for once. He simply waits for your question while you gaze down at him.

“Is the sacrifice always an animal?”

He smiles. “More or less.”

Great. Wonderful. Perfect. You absolutely hate that response. More or less? Thats the most non-answer answer that he could've given you. And it definitely means that its not always an animal. Which makes you wonder when… and who… 

Stunned into silence, you say nothing. Neither does Seonghwa.

“Hurry back.” Hongjoong requests, dismissing the two of you without another word. 

Once you’re outside of Hongjoong’s apartment, you debate teasing Seonghwa, but decide against it. Though it would be quite fun, the poor guy is probably going to get it from Hongjoong already, no need to add to his torment. Plus, he was just trying to help you. 

He walks you in silence, again, hand-in-hand, back to your apartment. 

No sooner than you’re saying goodbye and shutting the door behind you does San appear in the entryway, grabbing for you. 

“Are you alright? Are you hurt? What happened?” He frantically asks, looking you up and down and all around, his hands flying around your limbs to check for injuries.

Stunned, you stay still. “I’m fine?” 

San sighs in relief, guiding you back toward the couch, sitting and pulling you onto his lap. “I was so worried they’d somehow found out. That you’d be hurt.” 

You shuffle around so that your back can rest against the armrest of the sofa, your legs still resting over his.

“They absolutely cannot find out, no matter what,” San says. “Can you tell me what you talked about?” 

So you explain the conversations for him, using a free hand to card through his hair as you do. He seems to relax after you’ve elaborated, though you leave out the part about Seonghwa and his hand. 

Part of you wonders if you should feel guilty about messing with Seonghwa. Not for his sake, but for San’s. What even is going on between the two of you? You probably shouldn’t be flirting with the enemy anyways, but San probably wouldn’t be overjoyed to hear about the things that have happened between yourself and Seonghwa. The fact that you leave it out when recounting the meeting must prove that you know that it’s wrong. 

“Come here,” you open your arms to him. 

He slips out from under you, realigning himself so that he can rest his head on your chest. “We’ll get out of here, together.” He wraps his arms around your waist.

You do the same, continuing to run your fingers through his hair. There’s nothing you can do but agree with him. The two of you will escape together, and soon. After that, you can forget all about this place. 

… Yeah, in your dreams. The real horror might start after you’re gone. You have to believe that San is telling the truth about Hongjoong. Revealing the cult to the authorities will only end in horror if you’re not careful. 

And you find it hard to believe that you’ll be okay once you’re gone. You’ve considered it before, the way that this sort of trauma affects someone. How long will you have to recover? Will you be able to go back to your old life? 

Will San be part of it? 

You squeeze him tighter and he reciprocates. 

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[peatbogbody]

i'm gonna write essays for each member and since i started with seonghwa i might as well go in age order so next up is joong

the first time i looked up ateez on kprofiles, which i think was during guerilla promos hongjoong immediately jumped out at me just from looking at the pfp (a crazy intense side profile of him with that half n half ponytail. kudos to whichever site editor picked thay). he just radiates Cool.

found the picture! right gif is by @ crimsonzia

he is honestly such a talented rapper. much has been said about kpop rappers as a group, much of it true, but he is just genuinely so good. i'm not a rap expert, just an appreciator, and again i'm lamenting my inability to understand korean to really be able to hear his bars but just in terms of flow and style he's really smooth. you can tell the man has taste in hip hop too, a true appreciator.

meanwhile he's also a not-so-stealth all-rounder, he's a fantastic dancer and performer, and adds a crazy level of intensity to performances that would be like a gaping hole if he weren't here. he's not part of the Demon Line for nothing. not to mention the guitar-playing and also being a great SINGER? i heard somewhere that he will actually fill in for jongho's parts occasionally in scenarios where for whatever reason jh can't be there (no specific source but i believe it). crazy.

gif by @ tyudeongie

i would LOVE to just sit and hear him gush to me about music. i wanna make music WITH him. even though sh is my bias as a performer, hongjoong is who i'd be the most interested to actually meet and talk with. i think he's who i would get along with the best as well. (yes i'm the freak who instead of normal parasocial fantasies like "wanting to date them" has things like "i wanna be their colleague" or "i want them to infodump for hours about their hobbies to me".)(sidenote that i also think my (un)tidiness habits would give sh a conniption and so we just wouldn't work out)

as a mentally complicated weirdo nerd i'm magnetically pulled to other mentally complicated weirdo nerds, especially those with a creative streak, and it's the primary type of person i tend to get along with. yeah i have totally bought into the assessment of joongie as being some kind of nd (an observation borrowed from @storkmuffin). anyways brb unironically donning a "normal people scare me" shirt fishnet arm sleeves and black eyeliner. but yeah i just love a weird little guy--sidenote though he is really not that little yall are playing he is extremely average. he's still 6in taller than me. the short kings title stays firmly in stray kids' hands--anyways yeah i just think hes neat.

in contrast with how cool he looks in performance mode he's got an awkwardness to him offstage, bordering on loser energy, that i just find SO endearing (yeah probably partly the neurodivergency at work again). another same hat! moment for me though i don't think my cool side is quite on his level. im just awkward. to me it seems clear he became an idol because he wants to make music and not the other way around. just sooo single-minded and he constantly says and does stuff that just make me go "NERD". in the asmr interview vid he did, the interviewers were asking him about his hobbies and he was like *sheepish* "i mostly just write songs tbh" but then he was like "BUT! before i came to this interview! i managed to watch a whole episode of a tv drama!" and genuinely sounded so proud of himself for doing like, a normal "fun" thing and like. mood. but it was very freaking cute. (link to vid, that part is around the 1:33 mark)

there is a darker/more serious/sadder side to him too that is more than i want to add to this post rn, but is just another layer that draws my attention and makes the parasociality go brr

i do genuinely love his unit with seonghwa, the pairing of two ruthlessly ambitious people who are also just extremely weird (in different ways) but also quite caring and thoughtful to the people around them? your honor i love them. MATZ the song portraying MATZ the unit as serial (good guy?) arsonists is just...chef's kiss. perfect tbh.

let's all agree to never ask this man to look at another lego in his life though

he's someone i can 100% see as going places after/outside of ateez, maybe writing/producing and i'm quite excited to see what that looks like

next up yunho! it's almost completely written i just need to finish adding some links and pictures.

[thewinter-eden]

Blood Sugar Virus (29)

CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE

Genre: Horror, zombies, strangers to lovers, angst, suspense, slow burn Pairing: Kang Yeosang x female!reader Warnings: based on the Wanteez Zombie episode, zombies, language, discussion of parasites, gore, angst, heavy topics, suggestive content

Story Summary: You (stage name Sugar) are the co-captain of a horror acting group. You and your guys are the ones the companies hire when they want to stage a zombie, ghost, or any vaguely horrific and dystopian episode. So when you get hired by Ateez to develop a zombie program, it's just another routine that you've done a million times. Everything's going exactly according to script--until suddenly it isn't, and it starts getting a little too real.

🏆 Esteemed Moot: @ramadiiiisme

⭐️ Reader Spotlight: @mrsminseochoi

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Namjoon sits next to Jimin on the couch, reaching out a hand to pat his arm companionably. “Still hanging on, Chim?”

The younger man sports an easy grin, and even you can see the color returning to his cheeks. “My leg feels like it’s been put through a wood chipper, but the burn in my chest is finally starting to fade.”

Namjoon looks at you. “How did you come up with hitting him with a defibrillator?” He glances to the very same AED machine, which you had left near the axes.

You frown, still too concerned about the pain you caused and the potential harm you caused Jimin to be overly comfortable with your idea yet. “I don’t know. I just saw the AED and all I could think about was the bug zapper in the hallway of my apartment. I thought maybe sending a shock through his body might kill the parasites in him.”

“And it worked, right? I mean that was like an hour ago.” Hongjoong is still sitting with his back against the couch, his head near Jimin’s shoulder.

“I’m not a zombie.” Jimin says brightly. “I’d say it worked.”

“Have you looked at your leg?” Namjoon asks. “To see if the parasites made it farther after the shock? I don’t want to suggest that maybe you knocked them unconscious or something, but what if?”

You’re too amused by the thought to be worried about it. “I don’t think you can knock a parasite unconscious.”

“Nonetheless, anybody who wants to take my pants off is welcome to check.” Jimin winks at Namjoon. “You sure you’re not just looking for an excuse?”

Your co-captain rolls his eyes and slaps the man’s good hip. “Shut the hell up and roll over.”

Jimin shrugs and rolls onto his good side, which puts his posterior on the side of the room where you’re all sitting.

“While I’m sure we’re all excited by the prospect of earning a peep show in the middle of the worst night of our lives, if every one of you assholes doesn’t turn around I’m serving fat lips for dinner.” Rosé proclaims, reaching over her head to grab Mingi’s face in both hands and turn it towards the wall.

“I’ve already seen it anyway.” You quip, but you scoot yourself around with the rest of Ateez to face the other direction while Namjoon pulls at the waistband of Jimin’s high school costume.

“Ooo, you’ve seen it already?” Of course it’s Wooyoung.

When you glance toward him, you see a comical contrast between his teasing expression and Yeosang’s disturbed frown. The latter shoots you a side eye that has you giggling with evil intensity.

“Hey Jimin, remember when that dog bit you in the ass that time we were on a lunch run?” You call over your shoulder.

“Don’t fucking remind me.” His voice is muffled by the couch cushions.

You turn your grin back to the guys. “This crazy little purse dog jumped down from someone’s table outside this sandwich shop that we were getting everyone’s lunch orders from and fully latched onto Jimin’s butt. Ya boy was freaking out, like, ants-in-his-pants freaking, and he dragged me into the men’s restroom and dropped his pants without warning so I could make sure he didn’t get rabies or some shit.”

San nearly falls over, laughing so hard. “Oh my god.”

“Dog bites are serious!” Jimin whines.

“Yeah so is sexual harassment.” You fire back. “I could have had you blacklisted.”

“He was crying too hard for it to be sexual harassment.” Namjoon argues simply. “Though we did make him buy Sugar’s lunches for the next two weeks.” There’s the sound of rustling fabric. “Alright, Jimin, happy to report that your annoyingly perfect ass is intact. Looks like the fuckers didn’t make it past your upper thigh, but your leg is pretty bad.”

“Yeah no shit.” Jimin grumbles. “And the bite hurt. You guys would have been crying too.”

“I don’t cry.” Jongho returns flatly.

“You guys can turn back around.” Namjoon says, and your group returns to sitting in the circle around the snacks.

For the next few minutes, the room continues to fill with chatter as Namjoon, Seonghwa, and Jongho rest and refuel after their trip up to the third floor.

“So now that we know the AED works, we at least have a defense against getting infested.” Namjoon nods to you, offering props for thinking to grab the device and bring it back with you. “We should have grabbed the ones from all three floors, but it’s better than nothing.”

Or maybe not props so much as a subtle jab that you should have brought it up when you first split off for the axes.

Dammit.

“I have a taser in my purse.” Rosé offers softly.

“Hell yeah.” San grins at her as Mingi’s eyes go wide with delight.

“Best damn thing I’ve heard all day.” He says, squeezing Rosé proudly. “Fuck yeah, you have a taser in your purse.”

Yunho turns to you. “Do you have a taser in your purse?”

You shake your head. “It didn’t fit with my gun in there.”

Wooyoung’s and San’s jaws both drop at the same time. “You have a gun in your purse?”

Yeosang has already identified the sarcasm in your voice by the time you level them both with a dry stare. “She’s kidding, you numb nuts.”

“It’s South Korea, of course I don’t have a fucking gun in my purse.”

While they groan in disappointment at the lost opportunity to turn this night into a zombie shooting video game, Yeosang turns to you. “But you have a taser, right?”

You give him a sheepish smile that’s more of an ugly grimace. “I kept meaning to get one. But I never had time, and they’re so expensive!”

“I offered to buy you one.” Jimin refutes. “You just kept pushing it off.”

You shrug. “I’ve never needed it.”

Yeosang’s eyes are saucers. “What do you mean you’ve never needed it?”

“The taser conversation didn’t happen until after that incident. And what am I supposed to do, just carry it everywhere? Stuff it under my costumes?”

“Ideally, yes.” He returns, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “After this, we’re getting you a taser.”

“Sure thing.” You bluff, not at all willing to fight the ‘after this’ statement right now. “But some of my costumes don’t have enough fabric to conceal it.”

He just stares at you.

“I’m kidding.”

“Damn, I was gonna re-up our contract.” Wooyoung mutters. When San slaps him upside the head, he backtracks immediately. “I was also kidding! Jesus, it was a joke.”

“It’s okay, they’re our more popular programs.” Rosé says, happily adding fuel to the fire. “And besides, your siren costume has that strappy leg thing, we could just make it cyberpunk or something.”

Yeosang looks physically pained. “Is that another joke?”

She just snickers at him, and you don’t say anything, just watching him struggle to get his face under control. You can’t tell if he’s trying not to imagine the costume or if he’s disturbed by your more racy program options, but you let him figure that out on his own.

You do have a number of more scant costumes for certain jobs, but they’re all paired with your scariest storylines to make up for the sensuality suggested by your wardrobe department.

“I don’t really know what to believe right now, but I just want to say that your job scares me.” San says seriously. “Like, before this zombie stuff actually started, our program was awesome. It was intense and frightening and really cool, but to hear about some of your experiences?” He shakes his head and looks down at his hands. “I would be scared to do what you do with some of the clients that you’ve had. And now, knowing you, knowing the risks, I’d be so worried about you guys every time you go to do a job.”

“That’s why we do the program prep with clients now.” You tell him reassuringly. “It helps you get to know us and immerse yourself better when the program starts, but it also gives us a chance to get a feel for you. We’ve been able to catch some odd vibes and cancel contracts with some clients because of it.”

He looks relieved, but still concerned. “I’m still gonna be worried. Some of us could come with you, you know? Hang out outside while you work, so we can be nearby if you need us.”

His care for your team after only a week and one hellish experience is endearing and incredibly heartwarming.

“That’s a good thought, San, but we won’t have programs after this.” Namjoon says carefully. He bears the weight of everyone’s saddened looks with quiet anguish. “Our team is gone. If we survive this, it’s done. It’s over.”

“Don’t say that.” Rosé pleads. “Honestly, Joon, why did you have to say that? Why couldn’t you just let us have a few good moments?”

He turns to her, eyes tracing the sorrow on her face before examining every inch of Mingi’s body pressed against hers. His jaw tightens. “Our friends are gone.” He says again. “My best friend took a chunk out of Sugar’s shoulder. I can’t just pretend this isn’t happening, and I can’t pretend things are just gonna go back to normal after this.”

Her eyes harden bitterly. “Nobody’s pretending anything.”

“Guys.” Jimin coughs weakly, a deep frown signaling his obvious discomfort with the argument. “We’re just talking.”

“Yeah, I didn’t mean to—” San starts, but you cut him off.

“You didn’t. It’s okay. We thought about hiring extra security, but our company didn’t have the budget for it.” And you couldn’t afford to cover it.

“They had the funds.” Namjoon mutters, backing off from Rosé. “They just didn’t have the fucks to give.”

Hongjoong pulls one foot up to rest his elbow on his knee. “Well, in the spirit of saying fuck you to your company, if you guys ever decide to go back into the business, in any capacity, I’ll get you some security.”

Rosé smiles at him. “We can’t let you do that, but it’s so sweet of you to offer.”

“Oh I wasn’t offering.” He informs her.

You’re smiling at the exchange. You don’t throw in your own two cents, because it doesn’t involve you, but you’re grateful to hear his protective support all the same.

“You don’t have to foot any bills for us just because we’re trying to get you out of this mess.” Namjoon adds, but he nods appreciatively.

“It’s not a thank you. Don’t get me wrong, we’re all indebted to you guys for risking your asses for us, especially Sugar—”

“Leave my ass out of this.” You quip, and Yeosang snorts into his own water bottle.

“—Alright, respective asses notwithstanding, I’ll be hiring a security company because we’re all friends now and I’ll be damned if I’m letting any of you worry about asshole clients anymore.” Hongjoong finishes, shooting you a playful sneer. “You guys should have had security from the start.”

“Hell yeah,” Seonghwa agrees. “We could start a company for security guards to get trained for stunts and acting and shit. We could make it so you don’t even have to leave them out in the parking lot, because our van crews weren’t exactly effective as oversight.”

“Hyung, that’s fucking brilliant.” Sam exclaims. “Dude, we’re so starting a company. Look at us—entrepreneurs.”

“And this is how Ateez takes over the world, by starting a private military of armed actors.” You remark, grinning when he points at you like you’ve inspired him.

“I’m so in.” Wooyoung agrees. “It’s gonna be badass.”

“I think it’s a great idea.” Jimin says. “We could take real fight training now.”

Namjoon lets them continue to brainstorm for a few minutes, and then crunches his soda can and throws it into the trash pile. “Alright, back to work.” He stands and unfolds the floor plan again. “We’re gonna hit the barricade at the southeast corner, in these two classrooms and the bottom of the corner stairwell. Everybody’s coming this time, so we need someone to help with Jimin. I’ve got one of the axes, who else wants the other two?”

“San and Yeo are the strongest, but Mingi and I can step in if we need to take turns.” Yunho says.

“Me too, I’ve got you, hyung.” Hongjoong says to your co-captain.

Namjoon is momentarily stunned by the honorific, biting his cheek to stop a flattered smile. “Alright, sounds good. I also want people with free hands to watch out for each of us with axes. Zombie watch and also keeping an eye out for signs of fatigue so someone else can step in and start chopping. Sugar, Seonghwa, Rosé, I like you for the job.”

You hook a thumb at Yeosang. “He’s mine.”

His head snaps to you, eyes wide, cheeks reddening as he gives a flustered chortle.

You hear your words then, also hearing the hoots of teasing laughter from the others as you drop your head to your chest and groan. “I meant I’ll take Yeo. Dammit, shut up Wooyoung, I meant I’ll keep an eye on Yeosang. God dammit. Shut up, Yunho.” You’ve sunk yourself. Damn your tired brain.

Yeosang is grinning. “Alright, I’m hers. Who’s my second?”

You and Namjoon facepalm simultaneously.

“Oh I’m definitely sticking around for this.” Yunho volunteers. “I’ll step in for you, Yeo.” He winks at you.

“Kill me now.” You grumble into your hands.

“Maybe later.” Yeosang quiets you with a satisfied little smirk that makes you want to throttle him.

“Okay, pivoting from that weirdness, I volunteer to watch San’s muscles for signs of fatigue. I’ll watch ‘em like a hawk.” Rosé promises.

“Oh hell no.” Mingi grumbles as Rosé cackles. “I’m San’s second.”

No room for argument, not like there were any other options.

Namjoon groans. “Oh my god, I’m surrounded by horny teenagers. Seonghwa, that leaves you with me. You fine with that or do you have a crush on one of the muscle boys too?”

“No, I’m good.” Seonghwa’s laughing, giggling with Hongjoong at the matching blushes on San, Mingi, and Yeosang’s faces.

“Wooyoung, can you be on Jimin duty?” Namjoon questions.

“Why am I a duty?”

“Because you’re a three legged dog and you’re gonna let Wooyoung carry you.”

Wooyoung, meanwhile, seems pleased by the appointment. He salutes Namjoon. “I’ve got him, hyung.”

Namjoon fights another tiny smile. “I want you guys with Sugar’s team. She’s stronger than Rosé, and she doesn’t complain about how much Jimin smells.”

“Hey!” Rosé.

“Fuck you, I smell like roses.” Jimin.

“Jongho, you’re our overwatch/backup. Our teams will be working in different rooms, so I want you moving between the three of us as a line of communication.”

“Happy to warm the bench, hyung.”

Honorary big brother Namjoon looks suddenly overwhelmed by the abrupt cohesion of the remainder of your team and the entirety of Ateez. “Alright. Good. Let’s get going.”

Jimin’s grunting, struggling to push himself up. “Fuck, I can’t get off this couch.”

Wooyoung instantly jumps to his feet, hurrying to assist. “I can get you off.”

“I’m sure you can, darling, but our friends are still here.” Jimin returns without a second’s hesitation.

The room erupts again and Namjoon rolls his eyes to the ceiling. “God help me.”

The troops are readying for battle. San lands a few practice swings into the big desk, making Rosé shriek with surprise as wood chips fly at her. Mingi shields her with the breadth of his body and glares at San, who keeps practicing.

Namjoon is consulting with Hongjoong and Seonghwa, softly going over plans that you can’t hear about facing the military on the other side of the barricade.

Wooyoung has Jimin braced against his hip, standing with you as you watch Yeosang shrug off his dirty white button down and stretch his arms in preparation.

When he’s just in a tight undershirt, you are not at all prepared to see the obvious evidence of Wooyoung’s earlier claim about him being a gym junkie. “I am no longer thinking professional thoughts.”

Wooyoung cackles and almost falls into you, laughing so hard as Yeosang gapes at you.

“Oh my god.” You just fucking said that out loud. “Oh fuck me.” If you could just go ahead and use Rosé’s taser on your own brain, you’d solve so many issues.

“Oo, me—I volunteer!” Wooyoung chortles at you, barely managing to hold Jimin up when Yeosang scowls at him.

“I think that’s a bad idea, bud.” Jimin grumbles, face already pale at the stress on his leg.

“Do not make me axe my own head off right now.” You mumble, turning away from your stupidly self-appointed team and hiding your face in the corner. You think you hear Yeosang’s soft laughter behind you, but it’s entirely drowned out by Wooyoung continuing to mock you for completely losing your brain to mouth filter.

You cannot get yourself eaten by a zombie soon enough.

Anything is better than this.

“Would you idiots keep it in your pants and strategize or something? There are fucking zombies out there.” Namjoon shouts over the din.

The noise lessens immediately, the members of your team finally settling back into the situation you’re about to face.

“Woo, can you help me adjust my weight? I feel like my leg is going to fall off.” Jimin mumbles, and you turn back to them in time to see Wooyoung’s expression shift into solemn focus, hurrying to lean Jimin against the splintered remains of the desk.

“Why don’t you get on the side of his bad leg,” you suggest, moving over to help.

Wooyoung follows your instructions perfectly, planting his hip right beneath Jimin’s.

You guide Jimin’s arm over the younger man’s shoulder, and help Wooyoung ease the entire weight of his bad side over onto himself.

Jimin settles on his good leg with a sigh of relief. “Much better. Thanks.”

“When we get to our classroom, you can sit down again.” You promise, ruffling his hair. “Are you okay right now?”

He smiles shakily at you. “I might throw up the four bags of Doritos that I ate, but I’ll try to give you a warning.”

“That would be appreciated, hyung, thanks.” Wooyoung utters smartly. “Seriously though, just let me know if you need to rest. We can borrow Jongho if you need a piggyback ride.”

“That’s definitely on your list of good ideas.” Jimin wheezes weakly. “I’ll let you know.”

You step back from them, satisfied that they’re ready to go, and bend down to collect four water bottles that had been passed over for the sodas. You shove them into your duffel bag, along with the defibrillator box, and sling it across your back, wincing at the sting of your cuts.

When you straighten, you find yourself next to Yunho. He’s also warming up his upper body in preparation to eventually take over swinging the axe for Yeosang, but he smiles down at you as you approach.

This could be it.

This could be your last quiet moment with him before it’s all over. You can’t keep seeing the traces of guilt in his eyes when he looks at you. “Hey.”

“What’s up?” He asks you. “Can I help with anything? Want me to take your bag?”

You shake your head with a smile. “No, I’ve got it. I just wanted to talk to you.”

He stops swinging his arms, halting the windmill movements you’ve done a million times to warm up for your programs. “Sugar, about earlier, when I—”

You put up a hand to silence him. “Yes, about that. We’re good, Yunho. I still owe you my regret for stopping you from helping Yeosang and Mingi with Jungkook, but on the count of the other thing, we’re good.”

He looks down, mouth tightening. “That wasn’t the same. You made a good call with Jungkook. I stand by that. But the other thing, what I did to you—Sugar, I abandoned you to die. After you swooped in like a fucking answered prayer and tackled those zombies, after they had you pinned, I left you to die. I pulled Yeosang away, and he was trying to help you.”

“You fucking what?” Namjoon.

This is the first he’s hearing of the incident, and pissed doesn’t even begin to describe him.

Yunho blanches, stumbling back a few steps as your co-captain is suddenly in his face, stammering in a struggle to figure out if he should explain himself or just take whatever abuse he’s about to get.

You’re not willing to let it get that far. Shoving yourself between them in a move that makes your entire body seize with pain at your hip, you grip one hand in Namjoon’s shirt and rest the other more comfortingly on Yunho’s arm. “Stop. Back up.” You’re talking to Namjoon, but he doesn’t even look at you.

“Is that true?” He’s seething, speaking to you without meeting your eyes. “Did he let you save his ass and leave you to die?”

“Namjoon, I said get back.”

The room goes quiet at your snarl, all eyes turning to the three of you.

“I sent you out with her. I sent you to get the axe and you didn’t think to fucking mention that you don’t care if she lives or dies?” Namjoon lunges forward, shoving you back into Yunho, and you just barely get your footing back in time to push him back again.

The others are tense, concerned, hesitant to jump in while you’re still managing to hold off a physical altercation. They can’t defend Yunho for his panicked choice against you, but none of them look pleased about your friend trying to jump down his throat.

“I do care. I fucked up and I’ll never forgive myself for it, but I do care.” Yunho argues, his voice brimming with anger. “Don’t talk to me like I wouldn’t do anything to make that right, and don’t fucking talk to me like I don’t care.”

You’re seconds away from kicking Namjoon in the balls just to make him look at you, but you need him to be able to swing an axe in a minute or two, so you just settle for digging your nails into the muscle of his chest and forcing him back with all of your strength. “Hey.” You snap, and his eyes finally flicker down to you. He’s fuming, beet-red with rage, shoulders trembling furiously. “You walked up in the middle of a conversation between me and him. You need to take a step back.”

“Why didn’t you tell me? I need to know when someone in my group is putting you in danger—don’t touch her, asshole, I’ll fucking break you.” Namjoon’s arm jumps up as Yunho puts a hand on your shoulder to protest you trying to defend him.

“Hey!” You punch the heels of your hands into his chest. “Joon, we’ve dealt with this. This is old news, it’s handled, it was a mistake. It doesn’t concern you.”

He’s wide-eyed, gawking at you. “Doesn’t concern me? You almost died—you were almost killed. You spend all of your time and energy trying to protect people and they turn around and throw you to the wolves? Goddammit, Sugar—”

“Hey, don’t turn this on her.” Yunho snaps, no longer apologetic. “She’s the reason we’re all here, she’s the reason you even had your acting team in the first place. Why don’t you try trusting her with the job that she obviously does better than you?”

This is no longer helpful.

“No, stop.” You’re holding them both back now. “Stop, none of this is valid, or constructive. Yunho has been locked in. He’s had our backs—he’s had my back. And this team would be nothing without Namjoon, so just take a minute, please.”

Namjoon hasn’t cooled off even a little bit. “No, this is bullshit. I’m not sending him out there with you again, he can fuck off and find the zombies for all I care.”

Before you can center yourself, he puts a hand to your shoulder and pushes you out from between them. Your weight lurches, body folding over on your hip, and you give an involuntary cry as the raw flesh pinches itself in the movement. Namjoon freezes, watching you stagger.

It’s Yunho who catches you, Yeosang suddenly close enough to take your arm as well, both of them glaring at your co-captain.

You don’t want this.

It was so wonderful, so beautiful the way you had all come together to decompress and joke and embarrass yourselves among friends, and you can’t stand to watch it all fall apart before your eyes.

You can’t leave them like this.

“Please stop.” Eyes brimming with tears at the sting still burning through your hip, you stumble in Yunho’s grasp and feel him brace you with an arm around your waist. “Please, Namjoon, please stop. I trust him, okay? We’re good.”

He’s still frozen, face splashed with horror at the pain he caused you, and he’s finally listening.

“When I came up with the AED idea for Jimin, he was the one who delivered the charge. He wouldn’t let me do it. We thought—” Your voice breaks, tears slipping. It’s such a miserable memory, such a viscerally terrifying moment that still has its claws in you, that you can barely say the words. “We thought it might kill Jimin, or hurt him irreparably, and he wouldn’t let me be the one to do it. He saved me from that, Joon. He cares. I trust him.”

Namjoon swallows, eyes flashing between you and the man who is stabilizing you after his own actions harmed caused you harm. “I don’t want him on your team. He can swap with Mingi.”

“No.” You sniffle and glare at him. “I want Yunho. Don’t touch my team.”

“Sugar, I need to know that you’re safe—”

“Don’t touch my team.” You pull yourself upright, letting Yunho’s arm release you, and approach Namjoon with as little limping as you can manage. You lower your voice until only he can hear you. “I get that you’re scared. I get that you’re worried about me and Rose and Jimin. But you haven’t been through what I’ve been through with these guys. And if you don’t get your head out of your ass and remember all of the things that they have done for us tonight, you’re going to make yourself the enemy. I trust them. Trust me.”

He’s quiet, jaw clenching, cheeks hollowing.

At long last, he nods. “You cleared things up with him? You feel safe?” He’s terrified. He’s fucking terrified that he’s going to lose you, or worse, lose all of you and walk out of here alone.

You can never even hint to him that your own safety is no longer your concern. “I feel safe.”

He glances over your head at Yunho. There are a few seconds of tortured silence before he closes his eyes and pulls you into a tight hug that sets your body on fire all over again. “I love you. I just want you to be safe.”

“I know.”

“Please be careful.”

“They’ve got me, Joon.”

“Okay.” He lets you go. Stepping around you, he extends his hand to Yunho and waits upon the grace of the man who is well within his rights to withhold every ounce of courtesy and respect. He doesn’t say anything—he won’t apologize for acting to defend you, and he won’t offer a blanket declaration of trust, but he’s willing to rebuild the bridge.

Yunho shakes his hand. “I am sorry. I always will be. But it will never happen that way again.”

You don’t let Namjoon answer. Instead, you turn back to Yunho, where he stands next to Yeosang, both of them watching you with hooded expressions. Bypassing Yeosang for the moment, but not ignoring the realization that he had stepped in for you, you prop yourself up on your tiptoes (and it still doesn’t make you tall enough) and throw your arms around Yunho’s neck. It’s a gesture of goodwill, a return to your conversation before Namjoon derailed it, and an act of friendship that you hadn’t thought you’d ever reach with him.

If it’s the last time you get to broach this subject with him, you want to take his burden with you. “We’re good, Yunho.”

He hugs you back, and you hear conversation start to pick up around the room again as tensions ease once more. “I’m so sorry, Sugar. I never realized how scared you must have been, so I’m…I’m just really sorry.”

You ease back on your heels, letting him go. “No more apologizing. I mean it.”

He nods, and manages a small smile. “You’re way too nice for your own good, you know that?”

You roll your eyes. But you’re serious when you say, “I won’t forget what you did for Jimin. For me. Thank you, Yunho.”

He’s grinning now. “Scariest thing I’ve ever done, but there he is.”

You both turn to where Jimin is still leaning heavily against Wooyoung, laughing at something you can’t hear. “Yeah. There he is.”

Warmth has returned to the room; Hongjoong has found Namjoon’s side again, softly helping to ease his fears about the incident that had been sprung on him without warning.

In the other corner of the room, you hear San teasing Rose, still holding his axe. “Do you sit on everyone’s laps or are you just partial to Mingi’s?”

“Bite me, Choi San.”

“Is that an open invitation or just for him?”

“Shut up, Mingi.”

Yeosang draws your attention away from them, stepping in close to your side. “Are you okay?” His fingers reach for your hip, his eyes flicking up to search your face.

“He just needs a minute.” You smile shakily. “He’s not a bad guy, he just carries a lot on his shoulders.”

“Are you okay?” He asks again.

You meet his eyes, caught by the solemnity in his gaze. “I’m okay.”

He gives a nod, but he lingers. Eyes soft, lips parted, he’s looking at you like he wants to say something, his fingers lifting from your hip to brush the backs of yours with a feather-light touch before his hand drops to his side. Blinking at the floor for a second, an eternity passes before he looks up at you again with the slightest smirk. “So, you like what you see, huh?”

“God, just kill me now.”

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[staytinyville]

OUTLAW (31)

ATEEZ poly!ot8 x Reader

Cowboy AU / Wild West

Series Masterlist

Warning: none (There will be no masterlist in the next chapter. Read bottom note for more info)

A/N BETA READ (@mariana-mmtz).

You felt odd watching yourself in the mirror. You could remember putting on your mother’s wedding dress as a child and giggling to yourself about your dream husband. You had always thought you would find someone perfect to spend the rest of your life with. However, getting into your teens, you found yourself disliking the boys around you more than not. 

You had watched your classmates get married and start their own families, while you stayed to work in the hotel. You didn’t regret that part of your life. The regret was for not allowing yourself to find more things outside your own family. But now you have the boys in front of you, holding their hands out for you to take and lead you towards where you deserve to be. 

“I never thought I would see the day you would get to wear this dress.” You turned around, facing your mother who was smiling brightly, eyes glassy. 

“Did you have no hope for me to get married?” You laughed, feeling your breath get caught in your throat. 

You knew where this entire thing was heading, but that still didn’t make it any less emotional. You were going to leave your childhood home and follow your path–alone. 

“I thought (S/N) would get married before you.” She laughed. “But that's not the case here.” She pressed her lips together, looking down to the floor. “(Y/N), are you sure this is what you want? I know you're only doing this because of us sending you away, but we won't do that anymore-” She told you.

“Mom, I want to do this.” You stopped her. “More than anything. If this is where I have to go, then I'm more than happy to take it.” 

She might have not known what it was you were feeling over the whole ordeal, but she could tell this was where you had your mind set to. And when you had your thoughts in order and knew what you were going to, you were going to see it through. She had been the one who gave birth to you and held you in her womb. She was going to make sure you had everything you wanted.

“Let's get going then.” She took your hands, pulling you along to walk out the house. 

(S/N) was beaming at the door, holding onto a parasol. Her shoulders raised as she tried her hardest not to cry. You could feel your eyes start to sting, but you tried not to let it get to you. You took the parasol, picking up your skirts to walk out the front door. 

Your brother was helping your littlest one fix his shoes while your father watched over them. When they heard you all step out, they quickly turned. Your dad sucked in a breath, as you came out into the sunlight. 

“Dad.” You bowed your head at him. 

“(Y/N), you look just as beautiful as your mother had when we got married.” You watched as tears welled up in his eyes. 

“Thank you.” You whispered out. 

“I'm sorry.” He cried, sobbing as he pulled you into a hug. “I'm-I'm so sorry I said those things to you. Please forgive me. I can't allow you to leave thinking I meant those horrible things.” His grip tightened as his tears began to stain the dress. 

You patted him on the back, hugging him as well.” I know.” You spoke, pushing him back lightly. “Even if I am leaving, you're still my dad and I will always love you. You gave me everything I could've asked for.”

With everyone drying off their tears, you were all led to the wagon. Your family made their way towards the city hall, where you would sign the marriage certificate in front of the judge. Your hands become sweaty inside your lace gloves, fingers clenching and unclenching in fists. 

Your throat suddenly became dry the moment you saw a group of people waiting outside the city hall. They were laughing loudly, shoving at Yeosang who stood in the middle of them all. A smile quickly found itself on your face, tears building up in your eyes once more, when you took in how handsome they all looked in their nice suits. 

Your father helped you down from the wagon, holding onto your hand. As you dropped onto the ground the boys all stopped to stare at you. You turned around to find why they had all gone quiet, blushing when you realized they had their attention on you. 

With a deep breath, you walked up to them. They, too, began to blush, which prompted them to tease one another. Their laughs brought joy to your very being, which made you giddy. You looked over at Yeosang who gave you a soft smile. 

“You look stunning.” He told you. You giggled to hide your blush. 

“I've only known you for a few months, but I know you're a nice boy.” Your father came up behind you, patting Yeosang on the back. “Please take care of my, (Y/N).”

“With my life.” Yeosang answered, keeping his eyes on you. 

You took a glance at the others, catching sight of the same smile they all shared. You knew they were all thinking the same thing. It was obvious how much this meant to all of them, even if you were technically only marrying Yeosang. 

You noticed how your parents looked at the seven other boys oddly, but didn’t question it as they noticed how Yeosang was speaking with them. It was clear that they had known each other. Your parents walked in first, followed by your siblings. 

“You look absolutely gorgeous.” Wooyoung grinned, as he passed you. 

“Wish it was me.” Seonghwa teased, giving your chin a flick.

“Good luck.” Yunho laughed, patting your head. 

“Yeosang isn’t the worst of us.” Jongho rolled his eyes, following behind Yunho.

“I’ve never been this close to other people in a long while.” Mingi fidgeted with the clothes you had given both him and Hongjoong to blend in. 

“You look dashing.” San patted Mingi, pushing him into the building. 

“This is going to be the rest of your life. It’s not too late to walk out.” Hongjoong had his hands inside his pockets. “We won’t make you.”

You turned as Yeosang walked up next to you, taking your hand in his. The others were watching from the door, waiting for the rest of you. Your lips slowly grew as you looked over all of them. 

“I think I’m good with that.” You gave Yeosang a squeeze of his hand. 

The ceremony itself wasn’t anything overly extravagant. The town Judge, Thomas Quiad, reverend and handed you two a feathered pen to sign the certificate. Your hand was shaking, but you managed to get a legible signature down. Yeosang was no better than you. 

As he pulled up from the table, he turned back to you. You wanted to laugh at the smile he had. It was official.

“I now pronounce you husband and wife.” Quaid gave you a smile. “You may kiss the bride.”

Your eyes went wide, which prompted Yeosang to laugh out loud. But he softly leaned down, giving you a simple kiss. Things were much different this time around. You had an audience, which made you shy. Even if you had already kissed half of them, you were still getting used to it all. 

As Yeosang pulled back, the others began to cheer loudly. You blushed deeply again, laughing. Yeosang chuckled, holding up your intertwined hands. The both of you began to walk towards everyone, the group making their way outside to allow room for others. 

“How about you all come to dinner with us?” Your mother smiled, looking at all the boys. “We'd love to meet all of Yeosang's-”

“Brothers.” You told her. “They are brothers.”

She looked at you with raised eyebrows but nodded anyway. “Of course.” Your mother bowed her head. 

The boys looked at one another bashfully, shaking their head at the idea of a meal cooked by someone else that wasn’t them. So that was where you found them all sitting around your family table. They had to bring in other chairs seeing as there was only 6 at the table and 8 of them, but they made it work. 

They were so polite, complimenting your parents on what they had done. Your mother blushed with how they kept telling her she had made amazing food. Wooyoung and Seonghwa even asked for the recipe. Your father laughed along with them as well as they expressed their thoughts on something around the house. 

Things felt so right with how everything was going. 

“I didn’t know you were friends with the officers.” Your father spoke to Yeosang.

“Yes, Seonghwa and I became good friends with them while working in the hotel.” He answered. 

“So, how did you all meet? If you don’t mind me asking.” Your father asked, turning to the other boys. 

“Not at all.” Hongjoong answered.  

You turned to him as well, listening in to what he had to say. You had already known some of their backstory, but it wasn’t enough to say you knew them. It might seem stupid to get involved with them when you didn’t know everything, but that’s how you made friends. Someone doesn’t start with knowing everything. 

“We met when we were teens. We all have had our troubles, but we came together because we all shared a love for music.” Hongjoong explained. 

“Music?” Your mother spoke up. “I would have never guessed.”

“We don’t exactly look like we would have studied it. Do we?” Yunho got a laugh from your family. 

“No offense.” Your father added. 

“None taken.” Hongjoong waved him off. “It's just something we all look towards for inspiration and motivation to keep going.”

“Do you all live together?” Your mother looked between all of them. 

“Yes, we have a home in Aurora, but we are traveling in the meantime.” Wooyoung grinned, bouncing your brother in his lap. “We met (Y/N) and decided to stay for a bit longer.”

“Yeosang met (Y/N).” San quickly spoke up. 

“He forced us to stay.” Seonghwa laughed. 

“Oh, so you will be leaving again?” You looked over to your parents, seeing their worried expression on you. 

You hadn’t thought about that aspect. At least not to where they were going to take you to their actual home in Aurora. You thought you were just going to be exploring or the likes. Even causing some trouble here and there. But to actually live with them in the place they have shared since they were teens?

“Ah, that’s up to Yeosang.” Hongjoong gave the man a look. 

“I have all my family in Aurora.” Yeosang spoke up. “I don’t want to take your daughter from you, but I would like for her to meet them one day.”

“Of course!” Your mother nodded her head. “I’m sure any parent would like to meet the person their child is marrying.”

You silently thought to yourself about meeting Yeosang’s parents. It seemed as though he had left his family on bad terms from what he told you a while back. You didn’t want to assume you would be meeting them at one point–maybe he had told your family that for them to not worry about where they would be taking you.

Looking over at the rest of the boys, you began to wonder what their family was like. None of them spoke about their parents or even siblings, so sometimes you wondered if they even had them. You figured they did with how well-mannered they were. Someone had to teach them. 

But you figured with how much they spent together, their family was each other. There was no need to be born from the same person, all they needed was the love they had for one another. You began to smile as you thought about the rest of your life with them. You wanted to have what they did.  And hopefully you can now. 

Series Masterlist

UPDATE. Due to the nature of the next chapter there will be no taglist. Scheduled Update will be November 2 at 6:00 PM (CST)

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[wyngigi]

ꕀ LUST FOR LIFE ꕀ 04

↳ sex money feelings die remastered .ᐟ cross posted on ao3

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“ they say only the good die young, that just ain't right 'cause we're having too much fun, too much fun tonight ”

↳ synopsis: a group of individuals find that their first taste of freedom in the world brings more obstacles than expected. some of them, find solace by drowning in liquor or in the backseat of somebody else’s car. a lot of them have got to get their shit together. a lot of them won't.

mdni » story contains nsfw content intended for 18+ audiences pairings » member specific, not listed for spoiler purposes ↳󠁪󠁪 ateez x female reader, ateez x ateez ↳ genre » coming of age ↳ word count » 2.3k ↳ general warnings » substance abuse & consumption, sexual content, morally grey characters, unreliable narrators, internalised homophobia, angst, basically every struggle young adolescence can go through ↳ a/n┆i hope u guys love this chapter as much as i do !! a little blast from the past always has me excited <3 p.s let me know which pairings ur rooting for after reading hehe (and yes next chapter we will be back at the party dont worry the drama has just begun)

04⌇memories of summer bring you

As San weaves his way through the crowd, past the drunken bodies of guys and girls alike, he finds himself reminiscing in just how much he had changed the past few years. Was it okay to live a life like he was right now? He’s not too sure. San first thinks of high school, then his thoughts float to you.

San watches the clock tick above his teacher’s desk, mind wandering as he scribbles on his worksheet with a ballpoint pen. He’s trapped in a god-awful environmental science class (which mind you would’ve been a free period instead), courtesy of not taking enough science courses earlier on to hit the credit minimum. It’s torturous, making him study about the world in a stuffy classroom when he could be out there learning by simply living in it.

San might just be a little salty, but the lesson isn’t actually that interesting either, so his mind has been elsewhere the last half hour. He’ll listen when it actually gets important, maybe. First he was daydreaming about buying a motorcycle and speeding off into the sunset, away from this boring sad old town to go live some larger-than-life bullshit.

Then he thought it’d be too lonely to do by himself, so he brainstormed an alternative. If he were ever able to do it, he’d probably try convincing someone to come with him. He hasn’t even finished his senior year, yet his ideas still don’t seem all that crazy to him. It might be farfetched to others, but San disagrees. If you aren’t dreaming big, could it even be considered a dream at all?

Then he starts wondering if his thoughts are too reckless most, if not all of the time, if attempting to move through life hastily would be too irresponsible and could scare the people around him. But he really doesn’t want to miss out on living, San wants to go see and do the things you have to go out of your way to experience. Something you make the journey for to begin with, not just a simple detour.

The type of stuff you have to just hold your breath for and jump into with no regret before it’s too late, the tide retreating, water becoming far too shallow. (He truly wasn’t lying earlier when he said he loves to be on the move, or that the thrill of exploring had always been dangerously enticing to him.) Those mantras, principles, whatever you wish to call them replay in his mind daily. They always have.

San knows the world won’t slow down and wait for him too. He sees it outside the classroom window right now, how the cars still pass down the street as the birds fly high into the sky even if he’s confined to his seat. San is well aware that it’s him who has to be the one to take the leap of faith and choose to start living. The problem is that sometimes he just can’t.

When San would think about the daredevils, adrenaline junkies, risk takers of the world, those who love to live on the edge of things, preparing for their big take off, he’d think of how he would love to be like that someday. Yeah, someday. The difference was he liked staying on the edge too much. Didn’t like the feeling of climbing to the highest point just for the glory if he could end up tipping over, see himself falling down and lose control of everything in the process.

When third period ends San makes his way out of class then down the hall, stopping at his locker so he can drop off the notebook and stationery he no longer needs till after his second lunch break. San knows he has PE next, so he quickly grabs his gym clothes. It’s not that he cares much about being late for it or missing out on any of the “action” though, he only really enjoys it depending on what sport they’re playing.

He likes the sports where his only role is to defend whenever a ball or something comes his way. It’s why he thinks volleyball is torture; trying his best to stay in his position once his team scores but then somebody is already telling him to hurry up and rotate. Those days are just endless cycles of torture. Actually, were.  He started to sit in the nurse’s office on those days.

It’s a good thing they’re doing netball today (he doesn’t have any more passes to sit in the med bay now). San has a lot of fun playing it. He’s even claimed the goalkeeper bib before anyone else can so much that whoever he plays with just lets him have it. The people he usually plays with are good enough to the point where the opposing team never even gets to his third of the court.

Goalkeeper suits him for that exact reason, he enjoys getting to win without even having to take a shot with the ball. San liked how it was so much he didn’t think or want to try being a goal attacker or centre. Well, maybe sometimes he did a little. There were a couple instances where he wanted to try a different role for the first time. San had gotten as close as picking up a different position bib even. Thoughts like that were shoved away quickly however, and the bib would end thrown back into the crate. The mere possibility of letting anyone down in case he was terrible outweighed his curiosity (and potential) on multiple occasions.

Failure was a funny thing; it had given him a terrible feeling that would sit in the pit of his stomach or make him so nauseous it was awfully dizzying. The funnier thing was that San had never truly failed at anything in life, simply because he had never tried much to begin with. That was the case, for quite some time in his life as he knew it. He had been growing more than okay with that knowledge as time passed, then one day he wasn’t.

As he turned away from his locker, San spotted you walking the opposite way to your own fourth period class, clearly getting ready to ditch the rest of the day. His heartbeat had sped up and his palms were awfully sweaty but for the first time ever, he shut out every reasoning voice in his head and chose to do something he never had the courage to before.

The two of you were in the same grade, so he had seen you passing by in the hallways always with both earphones in (to drown out everyone else he assumes, you never talked to anyone when you had them in while carrying an almost sorrow expression). Despite how you looked, you would still be humming away to a tune he could never fully quite catch.

He also knew your lunch times were spent eating shitty snacks from the vending machines and that you really liked the strawberry lollipops from the cafeteria (which they only sold every Friday for some fucked up reason, he overheard you complaining about it to your friends in math).

San would also see you after school with all of your cooler, older friends too. You would all huddle around the corner near the bike racks in the parking lot, out of sight from teachers so you could bum cigarettes off of each other. You’d also listen to music while you were there, only with one earphone in though so you could still hear everyone talk. He liked seeing that, you always looked happy and smiley talking to your friends.

The two of you weren’t complete strangers, but nowhere close enough where he could feel safe calling you his friend either. You shared multiple classes with San, greeting him with a small smile when you’d walk by his seat to get to your own (he liked that you’d always say hi to him even when he never did first). The both of you even worked on group projects together, but that wasn’t enough for him. He wanted to know more about you, to take even the smallest peek at the inner workings of your mind. To find out how you always seemed to not care when things went wrong.

He thinks of your reaction when you would fail a test, how you’d simply shrug before shoving the paper into the bottom of your backpack. Immediately after, smiling as you’d turn around to talk to your friends about whatever you all planned to do that weekend. Stuff like that didn’t make much sense to him. Why would you not opt out of hanging out just for one weekend and study harder to do better on the next test like he would?

San supposes that’s what separates the two of you into vastly different worlds, yet he wants nothing more than to just step over that line and join you.

When he had spotted you there, on that humid summer day in early June a feeling had begun to settle into his stomach again. The strange bit was that it didn’t feel humiliating nor demeaning, but there was still something unsettling about it. It felt extremely foreign at first but now, incredibly comforting. Because for once, it didn’t feel like failure.

So, he then decided to call out to you. It was the very first time he had ever greeted you, without you doing it first. Your name exceedingly foreign on his tongue when coming out of his mouth while you weren’t sitting at your desks in a shared class. You had turned around at the noise, both earphones still blasting music into your ears.

Once you had recognised who the voice belonged too, you immediately had taken out both of your earphones with a smile. The tune he had never been able to fully hear, was now playing into the world for him to hear freely. He felt the corners of his mouth beginning to prick upwards at that. Yet with no plan of what words he would say now, San was immediately regretting his choice to speak to you. His fists were balled up in front of him, grip tightening on his clothes ever so slightly as he lowers his eyes down away from you.

The edge he always treads so carefully on was now unstable and he felt it beginning to crack already. You don’t leave him any more time to freak out over it though. When he looks up, he sees you already opening your mouth to say hello in the soft tone you always use, ushering him over.

“Hey, San. You want to come skip with me?”

The cool breeze flowing through the corridor, cooling down his cheeks just had to heat up again when he locked eyes with you, of course they did. Because San had always found everything about you pretty, from the first time he ever saw you. Not a day would there be a doubt in his mind of that. But, in that very moment he found you strikingly beautiful. In a split second, where his brain and his heart finally worked in unison he had responded hurriedly, before he could overthink it and regret it for the rest of his days.

“Yeah, I do. I’ll come along,” As he chucked his gym clothes back into his locker, a switch had been flicked on in his mind. When he turned around and saw you then, one lollipop in your mouth and a second in your hand, held out to him, a realisation had been thrown into his face like a bucket of ice-cold water. San had ultimately discovered that dancing on the edge was fun, yet leaping off it was much better. Even if the water was too shallow down below, San thinks he would be okay with that.

While walking away from the gym and instead down the hall with you by his side, San had spotted your earphones tangled up and peeking out of your backpack. That day, he settled with the fact that maybe it was okay to be a little too reckless, to move a tad too fast. Even if it could scare people, even if it scared him.

If you asked San what made him love that summer far more than the previous ones, he might mention his drunken bike rides with you and your friends, or the nights he spent laying on the beach with you gazing at the stars. Hell, he even liked the part time job he had to take up thanks to the party you helped him throw (which ended in that broken window he had to pay for). Spending a portion of his summer working as a server wasn’t fun in theory but when you’d visit him on his breaks or pick him up after his shifts, San had found it pretty worth it in the end.

He was truly happy in every moment back then; he’s enlightened even now, because all the memories of summer bring you back to him. Despite existing only as a brief moment in his own mind, San is content because whenever he closes his eyes he finds a version of you is there with him. He’s able feel the sun on his bare skin, with your lips pressed against his own again. His favorite bit being when the lingering hint of strawberries followed as you both pulled away.

Yeah, that’s exactly when it was. Three summers ago. When San had first decided it was alright to embrace being him, to be the person he still was today. All thanks to you.

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[storkmuffin]

I have no specific question but this is a free space to share whatever you'd like regarding ateez! Genuinely love reading your posts, so I'm sorry that I interact so much! 😭 when you do learn more about Mingi would love to hear your thoughts on him and especially how he presents his masculinity in difference from someone like Seonghwa or San!

Why in the world are you sorry you interact with me at any volume? THE MORE THE BETTER. I wouldn't be posting gigantic essays on Tumblr if I wasn't trying to send up a beacon for someone to please, please interact with me.

Since you're Mingi oriented and I'm just getting started on Mingi, here are some blurted thoughts.

Mingi's sound: Mingi's general rap style is what's described as 호통, which yelling at a high volume with the intention of telling someone off. I don't generally enjoy this sound. However, I've realized that though he sounds initially like he's hollering, his voice is actually much more expressive and plaintive than that. Part of this comes from me just not knowing how to 'hear' rap. Music may be innate to the human soul, but I know from experience that in order to get the most out of a specific art form, you actually need to learn what to pay attention to. The more I listen for what Mingi may be trying to do within the 'worlds' created by Eden-ary's songs, the more I think he might be the sonic and rap equivalent of Seonghwa when he does his narration-through-mime creations in his silent dance sequences.

The "role" that Mingi plays in a lot of the songs is to be like, the subconscious to HongJoong's id, to express the emotional, heart-centered reaction to HongJoong's analytical, in-his-head perceptions and conclusions, and be the private no-holds-barred self that bursts through when enough is enough. And the other thing I'm thinking now, after more open minded and detailed observation, is that he's not actually shouting much of the time. He's just really big, and his voice is big. When he's actually shouting, you can tell that he's really shouting, but he isn't always shouting, you know? He just uhhh has a lot of testosterone, is all.

Mingi's dance: Ateez members have talked about how when Wooyoung first joined (and he joined last) Mingi found him very threatening, as a dancer. They had 'similar' styles, allegedly, that observers at the time all agreed on. I found this very strange because since I only found them in the Ice On My Teeth era, I just hadn't seen any similarity at all between Mingi and Wooyoung. I actually had wondered at how little the members seemed to have in common. At first glance, Mingi should not be in the same group, sonically nor visually, as Jongho, and what Yunho does just doesn't seem to go with how Wooyoung runs his on stage persona and they also don't look like they should be standing next to each other, and so on. If I had to find similiarity between Wooyoung and Mingi's way of moving, it would've been that they're both very macho, very masculine, and are not doing the balletic and modern dance coloring that Seonghwa and especially San put on everything.

BUT THEN the whole, uh, Mingi in tight suit pants happened and I had an awakening like, HOLY SHIT HE DANCES REALLY SENSUALLY WHEN HE WANTS TO. And he's fast, like Wooyoung. And he is light and allegro and a jumper, like Wooyoung. He moves in boxes and lines, like Wooyoung, rather than in circles and curves like San and Yunho. (I hope I don't sound insane). And Mingi being this way as a dancer is arresting because he's physically very big, and generally big dancers are not light nor allegro.

... And now I've done it again. I did not mean to write this essay but here we are.

[bunnliix]

Okay so what if you're driving home with some of the ateez members but Wooyoung gets really touchy and starts to finger you while trying to keep Seonghwa asleep and trying not to make Jongho and San in the front realize what's going on-

oooo yes! I love this so much. And I love that I woke up to this ask too hehe. And I didn't expect it to get this long but like I'm so bad at keeping my writing short. This is almost 900 words long oml

A continuation of this ask can be found here!

You’d be trying so hard to not move, so you wouldn’t wake Seonghwa up as he was sitting next to you, his head on your shoulder. Your hand that was closest to Wooyoung moved to grip his thigh tightly, fingers digging into his pants as you took a deep breath in, trying not to outwardly react to his actions. You keep your eyes forward, pointedly ignoring Wooyoung’s attempts to get your attention, watching Jongho and San as they talk in the row in front of the three of you.

“Awwww, you’re really trying to hold back those pretty noises? C’mon, I don’t think the boys would mind hearing how good I make you feel. Might even make them jealous that they can’t have you like this.” Wooyoung whispered in your ear, as his fingers found that spot in you that makes you see stars and a small gasp escapes your mouth, making you panic.

Thankfully Seonghwa didn’t wake up because of it, however San heard it, turning around to look at you with a concerned look on his face, eyebrows knitted together. 

“Are you okay?” He asked you, to which you hurriedly nodded, which wasn’t convincing. He clearly didn’t believe you, but knew he wouldn’t get an answer out of you.

You gripped Wooyoung’s thigh with an iron grip, tighter than before as his pace sped up, his fingers curling inside of you to hit that spot almost every time. You bit your lip to attempt to keep the noises from tumbling out of your mouth, though your breath was clearly heavier than it was before, a sign that you were getting close to your own release.

Wooyoung smirked, he loved seeing your reactions, and loved provoking reactions from you as well. He loved to see how much you had to restrain yourself from moaning because of how well his fingers were fucking you, as you sat with Seonghwa-hyungs head on your shoulder. He placed his thumb on your clit, slowly rubbing circles as he slowed down the pace, letting you feel lulled into a sense of false security.

You take a deep breath in, trying to slow your racing heartbeat, and refocus yourself, trying to avoid squeezing your thighs together for friction. Only to let out a yelp as Wooyoung’s fingers started up a lightning fast pace once again, garnering the attention of the two boys in front of you, as well as some movement from the man leaning into you. 

“Are you okay, noona?” Jongho asked you, concern painted on his face as he turned to look at you. Your looks didn’t help, your face was flushed and your lips were red and slightly swollen from the constant biting to hide your moans. 

You cleared your throat before answering the youngest member of the group, “I’m okay, I promise Jongho. Just pinched myself accidentally and didn’t expect how much it would hurt.” You told him, trying to convince him and San that you were truly okay. Jongho seemed to buy it, but the look in San’s eye said that the man wasn’t convinced.

They both turned back around, and right before Wooyoung started up his actions again, Seonghwa shifted, leaning more into you than before and you held your breath, worried he’d wake up, but thankfully he didn’t. This gave Wooyoung free reign to once again continue on, and this time he was determined to push you over the edge, plunging his fingers in and out of you just as he knew you liked as his thumb rubbed your clit once again. His only goal was to get you to fall apart for him, and since they were close to their destination, he had to do it quickly. 

Your breathing sped up as he quickly brought you to the edge, one hand accidentally grabbing Seonghwa’s pants as your eyes rolled back as the pleasure of your orgasm rushed through you, tiny whines that thankfully went unheard by the men in front of you. Wooyoung smirked as he watched you fall apart for him finally, slowing down the pace of his thrusts as you came down from your high, removing them once you started squirming from overstimulation.

“Such a good girl for me.” He whispered in your ear, pulling his fingers up to his mouth to taste you and cleaning them off at the same time. 

Your head fell onto his shoulder as you tried to get your breathing back under control after Wooyoung’s actions. You closed your eyes, exhausted after having to keep quiet for so long, when you felt fingers run along your folds once again. Squirming and thinking it was Wooyoung, you opened your eyes to quietly scold him, only to find that the arm under your skirt didn’t belong to him, instead belonging to the man who was supposed to be sleeping. Watching the hand emerge from under your skirt, you watched as he pulled his fingers up to his mouth, his tongue darting out to lick at his soaked fingers, cleaning them of your cum.

“If you’re going to try and play games back here, you really ought to be more discreet, Wooyoung. Though, darling, you do taste divine.” Seonghwa commented, almost as if it was a casual everyday thing to talk about. He sat up straight once again, but not before he winked at you, making you blush.

[zeronetxt]

i just want to say this for the sake of saying this.

the batkids' fav kpop groups (according to me)

i hc that they listen to kpop bc I listen to kpop. so heres the list starting w the 4 robins

Dick Grayson

TRUST ME WHEN I SAY THIS MAN IS A GG STAN. i can feel the vibes from here. he might enjoy a few lil bg songs but he is def one of those cutesy gg stans. i think hed vibe well w fromis_9's music bc its really upbeat yk

ULT: fromis_9

Le Sserafim

Twice

Jason Todd

there is NO ONE. ON THIS SAD EARTH. that can convince me he isnt a twice ult. however, he probs enjoys hardcore/noise music from bgs as well (which is fair enough) so there we have ateez and skz. im CONVINCED hes a chan ult, no idea why though. also i put lesserafim there bc yes. that man is just gonna be girling girling.

ULT: Twice

ATEEZ or Stray Kids

Le sserafim

Tim Drake

i was a bit less sure on tim's one, but im pretty sure these would probably be some of his top three, since the music is somewhat either really poppy or really hardcore, but i also feel like he'd enjoy listening to nugu groups, mainly nugu ggs. probably learns choreos too (get it girl)

ULT: æspa

TXT

Red Velvet

Damian Wayne

on the OTHER side of the spectrum is damian. this guy definitely knows the big groups (by 'big' i mean yg, jyp and hybe groups. anyone else, and hed be like "who?") i know for a FACT hes a bp fan.

ULT: Blackpink

NewJeans

(maybe) BTS

in conclusion however, id like to point out they are ALL twice stans real men stan twice

thats the robins done (minus steph, shes up next)

I personally dont know what i rly expect from the batgirls this time 😔

BUT

the batgirls (im bouta lock in)

barbara gordon

THIS WOMAN IS A GG STAN. is all i have to say pretty much about her. i just KNOW she loves hwasa. or just the girlbosses of kpop because yes.

MAMAMOO

(G)I-DLE

(i cant think of a third one, but i feel a bit of itzy or lesserafim)

adding kiss of life bc yes

cassandra cain

now for cass, my theory is she likes more rock or 'happy' music, no in between. like my mind thinks she'd like tws for some reason, like plot twist might actually be one of her favs. but then i also see her vibing to dreamcatcher, rolling quartz and day6 clear as day(6)

Dreamcatcher

Day6

TWS (casual probs)

Rolling Quartz

stephanie brown

now listen when i say this. THIS GIRL IS A MULTISTAN FOR SURE. i also definitely see her being into the music with a lot going on, such as nmixx or nct, or the groups with a diverse music range such as txt, enhypen or boynextdoor (for me personally), and p1harmony. i think girl would just LOVE itzy, and sing it in the shower or smth

NMIXX

NCT

ITZY

now there are a bunch of other groups that i think one of them would like, but cant place my finger on eg. kard or nu'est. but meh whatever, i have most of my repressed thoughts out. the one thing i need to say though: EVERYONE STANS TWICE IN THE BATFAM. and/or (mostly and though) lesserafim. thats is all :)

bonus:

duke thomas

im a bit less sure w duke's but i def know (in my messed up head) that he likes bnd. now i have this belief that EVERYONE in the batfam is a once, its a rule atm, so obv he also likes twice

boynextdoor

twice

lesserafim or kiss of life (not sure which he'd like more tbh 🧍👺)