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astroartsya · 1 year

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Beauty placements in Astrology🌸💄 Part 1

(I am mostly talking about physical beauty in face and body but attractive/seductive placement are completely different topic) These are just the basic common ones.

🌠Neptune, Venus or Moon aspecting ascendant or in the first house. -

Neptune =Their aura is intresting and different. They can be like mirrors to other people and are idolized easily. People with this placement can be invisible if they want to but suddenly have everyone staring at them. They can be bit cartoonish. This can be difficult placement but it can give so much creativity and miracles to a person.

Looks: Can have looks that people deem as iconic. You can see their faces at peoples houses , public places and in paintings and in clothes. Unique but classic at the same time. They look dazzling in photos.

Archetype: Siren that lures you with gentle lullaby and turns into a monster. No one can resist the urge that they bring up.

Celebrity examples-->

//Neptune in the first house/ Conjunct//: Marilyn Monroe, Kim Kardashian, Kylie Jenner, Ariana Grande, Scarlett Johansson, Nicole Kidman, Eminem, Tom Cruise, Chris Evans, Paris Hilton, Paul Mcartney, Paris Hilton, Bradley Cooper.

//Neptune opposite ascendant//: Audrey hepburn, Halle Berry, Adele, Lady Gaga, Christina Hendricks, Amy Adams, Jared Leto.

//Neptune trine ascendant//: Jim Morrison, Michael Jackson, Whitney Houston, Heath Ledger, Jessica Alba, George Clooney, Cindy Crawford, Julia Roberts, Sophia Loren.

//Neptune square ascendant//: Elvis Presley, Britney Spears, Johnny Depp, Elizabeth Taylor, Rihanna, Dua Lipa, Jimi Hendrix, Birgitte Bardot, Ryan Gosling.

//Neptune sextile ascendant//: Madonna, Beyonce, Leonardo Dicaprio, Keanu Reeves, Kurt Cobain, Monica Bellucci, Christina Aguilera, Sharon Stone, Grace Kelly, Aaliyah, Khloe Kardashian.

They are magical, mysterious and etherial.

🎇 Venus= They are just gorgeous and have such a balanced body and face. People enjoy their company and they can become popular easily. Good placement in every aspect but vanity can occur so it's good to have something where to use that visual/artistic gift even as just a hobby.

Looks: They are very aesthetic and are often used as wallpapers for that reason.

Archetype: Aphrodite who bring pleasure and beauty that you can't get enough of. The senses are overwhelmed and lured you in.

Celebrity examples--->

//Venus in first house/ Conjunct ascendant//: Angelica Jolie, Beyonce, Rihanna, Shakira,Bella Hadid, Charlize Theron, Anna Nicole Smith, George Clooney, Selena Gomez, Katy Perry, Cameron Diaz, Zayn Malik, Elizabet II, Audrey Hepburn, Kourtney Kardashian, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Blake Lively, Vanessa Paradis, Jude Law, Doja Cat.

//Venus opposite ascendant//: Kurt Cobain, Lana Del Rey, Prince, Marlond Brando, Russel Brand, Cindy Crawford, Muhammad Ali, Tyra Banks, Ru Paul, Willow Smith.

//Venus trine ascendant//: Ariana Grande, Jennifer Lopez, Justin Bieber, Britney Spears, Natalie Portman, Jennifer Lawrence,John F Kennedy, Elizabeth Taylor, Kate Winslet, Sophia Loren, Meghan thee Stallion.

//Venus square ascendant//: Kim Kardashian, Billie Eilish, Gia Carangi, Birgitte Bardot, Christina Aguilera, Mila Kunis, Uma Thurman, Richard Gere.

//Venus sextile ascendant//: Lady Gaga, Pamela Anderson, Paris Hilton, Audrey Hepburn, Zac Efron, Dua Lipa, Kim Basinger, Amy Adams, Madison Beer.

Beautiful, stylish, symmetrical, sensual, artistic .

🌌Moon= Can reflect other peoples emotions and be very sensitive/emphatetic. Children and animals are drawn to these people. Just so adorable. Their style/makeup can be expression of their feelings.

Archetype: Nyx that in the dark evening shines mysteriously and brings nostalgia upon you and holds you dearly . You can be completely vulnerable you feel like a child again.

Celebrity examples--->

||Moon in 1st house/ Conjunct ascendant||: Madonna, Michael Jackson, Leonardo Dicaprio, Katy Perry, Whitney Houston, Audrey Hepburn, Bella Hadid, Aishwarya Rai, Anna Nicole Smith, Rihanna, Scarlett Johansson,George Harrsion

||Moon opposite ascendant||: Marilyn Monroe, Miley Cyrus, Birgitte Bardot, Jessica Alba , Gven Stefani, Liv Tyler, Uma Thurman, David Bowie, Muhammad Ali, Adele.

||Moon trine ascendant||: Kanye West, Kristen Stewart, Justin Timberlake, Paris Hilton, Sandra Bullock, Khloe Kardashian, Zac Efron, Vanessa Paradis, David Beckham.

||Moon square ascendant||: Lana Del Rey , Heath Ledger, Tom Cruise, Sharon Stone, Emma Watson, Zendaya, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Jim Morrison, Michelle Pfeiffer, Winona Ryder

||Moon sextile ascendant||: Robert Pattinson, Keanu Reeves,Jennifer Aniston, Kylie Jenner, Cameron Diaz, Ryan Gosling, Pamela Anderson, Kourtney Kardashian, Russel Brand, Rita Hayworth.

Feminine, soft, innocent, approachable, artistic.

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repressedqueen · 4 months

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It's been precisely 2 years since i first watched 4x14 and the infamous Because, Evan scene. Seeing it again, during my current rewatch, still gives me CHILLS.

Not even talking about the romantic side of things (which imo is there).

It's the vulnerability of both men. The pure love that oozes out of them. The gentleness with which they treat each other. How scared Buck is that Eddie is so fragile he might break at any moment, because he still can't believe he is alive after all this. The fact that Eddie has just been through a near-death experience and his first concern is to reassure Buck that he is so not expendable. The way Buck looks at Eddie like a puppy the moment he hears his name.

The fact that this the first time a traumatized kid, who has felt like he's worth nothing his whole life, like he is invisible, is finally told that he is in fact so valuable to someone, so seen.

In conclusion, I'm never getting over this scene and I could write essays about it. (Also, HOW INCREDIBLY ACTED IS IT?! Both actors are killing it!! Just a look from Oliver and I want to sob. And Ryan, is it just me, or does he feel different in this scene? I'm not sure how to describe it, I just feel him so grounded and present. I just love them both.)

#buddie #i may have moved on but i'll never forget #and i'll always hate them for not making buddie canon #still love them for what they are though <3 #them and the 118 family saved me #because evan #911 4x14 #oliver stark #buddie 4x14 #ryan guzman #eddie diaz #evan buckley #911 abc

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plasticfangtastic · 10 months

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American Royalty. Ch. 1

A Homelander X F!Reader fanfic

A/N: I am writing this alongside another fic so sorry for the publishing schedule altho I got 2 chapters done, this is my dadlander fic and hyperfixation explorations

Sypnosis: Homelander never wanted to remember you again, but after welcoming Ryan into his life, he thought of you, and the lie that tore you two apart, but now... thinking back, thinking of your betrayal-- was he perhaps wrong about who the father of your unborn child was? Did you perhaps told the truth all those years ago? That it was his.

Tags: mild gore, angst, slow burn, fluff, OC characthers, child neglect, dadlander, romance.

Chapter One

Blue

It had been by pure chance, whether it had been a combination of forced reminiscing and exhaustion that Homelander had thought of you after all these years; These meetings had been proven wasteful of his time, nothing the PR and Digital Marketing departments could come up that was good enough, and somehow he had gone from irritated to just defeated.

He sulked in his chair listening to their meandering voices brainstorming potential ideas as to how Ryan’s new origin story had to be developed and handled, whether it was too squeaky clean or absurd, how much could they risk offending the child, how much of his mother should be kept from the public (not that they were very aware of the fine details, as Homelander had been more than just vague about it, he had simply no intent to divulge about his son’s conception, upbringing or his mother’s fate) Homelander would never allowed the public to look with pity or fear at his son, he would not allow them to brand him as a murdered over an accident– he could still hear his son weeping and shaking in his sleep, waking up in a fright, seeing invisible blood in his hands.

Homelander had grown overprotective of the boy, he was made indestructible but his mind and heart were glass, still pure and uncorrupted by the awful world they inhabited, he would never allow anything else to taint it and bring him nightmares– so this had to be perfect.

To make it worse, the kid was growing impatient and depressed, forced to stay in the tower until this story was concocted, he couldn’t attend school or interact with other children until he was trained and learned his lines, making his father increasingly more paranoid that his son was slowly growing resentful.

“Mister Homelander… what if we base Ryan’s mom off one of your other ex-girlfriends?” A rather tired intern had muttered– preferably somebody dead…”

The room shot daggers at the nameless intern but Homelander simply sat in silence and gave it a thought, he had plenty of unsuited mates disposed and handled in the past, the amount of NDA issued made for a small but noticeable stack alone, he looked at the table and the box of cannolis that the group had been munching on, looking at the small printed italian flag on the box’s side.

That he thought of you for the first time in years.

You had been his new personal chef, your interactions minimal as you brought him his meals, he hadn’t known at first how heartbroken you’d look as he returned half touched dishes over and over, it had become a competition against yourself to make him eat, every leftover morself a cause of grief, as if your honor and ego had been beaten mercilessly with every dirty plate.

One evening, Homelander sat on his couch watching a documentary by Orson Wells, he hadn’t noticed you there as you brought him dinner, the way you looked at him with spite waiting to throw the most likely untouched plate of pasta back at his face, it would get you fired and possibly killed but you couldn’t take it anymore. You were a chef, a professional, you had turned down a dream job and left the restaurant you loved for the honor of being Homelander’s personal chef, the job that would open you a thousand doors but it was without reward now it felt like your biggest mistake, no matter what you made he fucking hate it but offered no feedback, you had no clue what he wanted, what he disliked and liked, what he craved, or how he liked his meals– he simply left your food untouched.

Diverting his gaze from the film, he noted your food and that you were still there with a block of pecorino and a grater in your hands.

He stood up with a groan, lifting the silver cover to reveal boring pasta and bolognese sauce, it wasn’t styled exceptionally, it didn’t even look too appetizing, it was just some fresh linguine covered in meat sauce, he stared at you as if this was some sort of joke but your dead eyed expression was off-putting.

“Would you like some fresh cheese, sir?” Your voice might as well have been automated.

Frankly he didn’t want any cheese but pasta had to be eaten with cheese, he gestured for you to grate watching an off-white pile form on top of his pasta with no intention of stopping.

“That’s enough” he said sharply, he took the plate looking at the mound and then back at you who was still in the room, he wrapped his fork with the pasta doing his best not to stain his suit.

You just wanted to save the time with coming back to pick up the insults, but there he took the first bite of this homely dish heis eyes opened up, there hadn’t been anything special, you simply had taken some left over pasta and brought a jar of your grandma’s sauce, a recipe she had guarded fiercely ever since she stole it from some italian friend’s mom many many years ago, you adored this recipe, it had been the reason why you fell in love with food, you loved visiting your grandmother when it was time to jar the sauce, and when she served you a humbled serving of bolognese– he gave it a second bite letting the tangy and fresh sauce wash over him.

And that’s when he finally noticed you for real, how closely you watched him eat, smiling as he took another mouthful and mixed more of the fresh pecorino, there had been something warm about this meal, it lack pretense, it was something that no high end 5-star restaurant would serve but it tasted… warm.

From that point on, he looked forward to his meals, wanting to see what the fuck had you done to make food taste worthy of his body, noting you would personally deliver the meals after he failed to clean the plate on the previous one, he hadn’t even known your name but he noticed you.

You were cute, your voice had gained some warmth since that awkward first impression, he could tell it was these homemade meals that tasted the best, as if you put everything you had to make them taste delicious, there were no frills with these, just good homemade fair, made with love, he had began asking for things he had been curious but never served as if they were above his status like meatloaf, carbonara, shepherd's pie, etcetera. These were the kinds of meals the families he’d seen growing up behind the screen would eat, he had been the first to strike a conversation.

You listened, you talked, and before he knew it, he had found himself asking for your company at the dinner table. You were hesitant at first but he was handsome and charming, but above all he was the Homelander! While apprehensive you still took to his offer just to smugly enjoy seeing him enjoy your food, proud that you had triumph in this battle where so many had been defeated, you’d cracked the code and god it felt good.

It became part of your weekly schedule, having dinner at his penthouse and chatting about anything, he loved talking and eventually it became apparent that it wasn’t because he was in loved with his voice but simply… he hadn’t got anybody who enjoyed listening to him, you were attentive, you responded well and even if you weren’t sure about something you weren’t going to let him feel as if you weren’t approachable anymore, you were more than happy to hear him explain to you a topic because his eyes gleam like those of a small kid telling you about something new they learned at school– in truth you loved how happy he became when he could rambled about things, as if nobody in the world had ever given five seconds of their time to let him talk about strange events from history and his theories, tonite he wanted to talk about the Dyatlov Pass incident and star formations that he was sad that he couldn’t see from New York, wishing you could see how the sky looked like from his cabin.

You’d spend more and more time in his home as the conversations grew more frequent, as he wanted to hear more about your interests and hobbies.

Thinking of how cute you looked while baking, how cute your laugh was, of the way you always held him after long days, that first real date, that first time you held hands, the first shy kiss after dinner.

As he took a long whiff to catch some of that gentle sweetness, he thought of the last day you were together.

That sound.

The thing that’s the size of a bean.

The anger, his heart shattered, all the colors of the world had dissipated when he saw that tumor growing in your stomach, he wanted to hurt you as much as you did, to shut you up as you threw excuses, begging him to believe you.

But that thing wasn’t his.

It couldn’t be his.

You said it was his, that the baby you didn’t even know was inside you was his, but he couldn’t be the father.

His eyes widened, he stood up and left the room, his mind focused on your name. They had tried getting his attention but could only give up as nobody would dare to chase after him, Homelander found himself entering the analytics offices towards the first chump he spotted.

“Can you find me information on a former employee?” He said firmly, the junior staff jumped at his seat nodding frantically– their name was Y/N L/N.” he said quietly.

The staffer didn’t have to do much work, you were easy to find, your name attached to Brooklyn’s most loved pizzeria for the last couple years, your face on their socials, and even a video from some food channel following what it was like working in Brooklyn’s hottest pizzeria had you in it, your shop had been listed as the best two years in a row, Homelander couldn’t bare looking at your face, but he asked for an address.

That night after spending time with Ryan who seemed to be sulking more and more, as he watched him eat his dinner, he thought of you, the kid was meandering whatever was on his plate didn’t feel appetizing, his meal was no different from what it was served in a high-end restaurant and the kid had no desire to eat it, he wanted Ryan to have the finest things when all he wanted was to have his mom’s tacos– his son opted to head for bed early skipping dinner all together, it was almost 10 pm, a heavy feeling had been boiling in his stomach since that meeting.

Taking flight all the way to some red brick Brooklyn projects, hovering about until he encountered you.

Time had been kind to you but you looked tired, the glow in your skin now dulled, your appearance unkempt, your clothes worn and old, your shoes the nicest thing you worn but they still creased and dirty, you looked beyond exhausted, your eyes half closed and your arms dangling on your sides as you carried a couple grocery bags, he looked around at the constructions and rubbish, at the hooligans and wannabe gangbangers, and the rancid smell. Hundred buildings all the same, he wanted to get closer as he watched you walk alone in those sticky white painted brick walls, you stopped suddenly by one of the brown doors, there were only four other doors in that floor, waiting patiently, an old lady opens the door, you two exchanging pleasantries as you handed the lady two of your grocery bags, a small dog came to say hello and then… there she was.

She was small for her age, she didn’t jump with excitement or say much to you, just a slight bow to the old lady and she walked in front of you as you said goodbye, only stopping two doors down.

Your apartment was small, two small bedrooms, small kitchen and barely sparsely decorated, but it was clean and tidy, your daughter dropped her school bag, and headed for the bedroom while you moved to the kitchen, never really talking to each other, he found himself flying closer just to get a perfect vision of that child.

She was a mini-you, taken so much from you, whoever the father was it didn’t seem to have mattered in the end for the kid got nothing from him, she changed to her pajamas as you sat on the couch after throwing away your uniform to the floor.

You two talked briefly, you didn’t read her any stories before bed or kissed her good night, you simply stared at each other and talked while you stretched your feet.

The little girl entered her room, a tidy space, books piled up on the floor in sharp stacks against the wall, a desk containing some electronics and a couple stuffed animals.

She was a cute thing, just like you had been once, her hair short and her straight bangs covering most of her face, too long for it too be safe, she had your complexion and jet black hair, she sat on her desk turning the desk lamp and picked her Kindle up, looking at her clock then back at her Kindle, she sat there for a couple minutes digesting some pages until it was almost midnight, before heading to the living room– you’d passed out on the couch, she took your phone and put it to charge fidgeting with something before leaving it, turning the TV off, and finally turning around to slip a quilt on top of her mother.

Homelander almost felt sorry for the kid, after all you had done to him only to neglect your child, you were just as much of a scumbag as he had imagined, he had had enough wanting to fly away until he saw the little girl staring back at him.

The lights were off on the home, and it was dark with the streets below shaded piss yellow, he looked around wondering if there was something nearby that caught your daughter’s attention but she was staring straight at Homelander, she forced the window open peeking her small frame slightly out the window, in the dark starless night while strangers made a ruckus a couple streets from here, a bright twinkling of pale blue illuminated your home.

He got closer, something caught in his throat as he came only a meter away from your daughter.

She looked so much like you but her eyes even as they lost their unnatural light were so blue, as if the entire ocean lived in her eyes.

The curtains slid shut, his chin flicked in surprise as he caught the small figure plainly ignoring him, he was loved by all, especially children! Even those whose favorites were Noir, A-Train or Maeve loved him! Yet this little girl had just shrugged him off and ignored him, simply returning to her bedroom to shut the second set of blinds and jump straight to bed.

Homelander was left dumbfounded, not once had he seen such disinterest and callousness from a member of his safest demographic, so he stood in mid-air pondering about killing both of you briefly, just as the heat from his cheeks cooled down, he stared at the now sleeping brat, wondering about that inhuman blue light that glossed her big round eyes.

#homelander #homelander x reader #the boys oc characther #homelander fanfiction #american royalty #my fic tag #personal #dadlander #I been possessed #not proofreaded sorry #homelander x f!reader #homelander x you

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buckttommy · 2 months

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not to be emotional over the 911 cast again but imagine going your whole life not even knowing these people who are going to be your family are even out there. like. oliver's fucking british. there's no reason he should even be here. but then! he met a girl! and he came to the states! and ryan decided to act because he was over modeling and why the hell not and it's like. GOD. the invisible string is invisible string-ing and i'm feeling so nauseous about it like there's literally. no reason for all these people to know each other except they just happened to get the same job and now they're in each other's lives forever, like ohhhhhhhhh i'm gonna be sick fr someone hold my hair back

#RAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH

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buddielifers · 25 days

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Why Eddie is a queer character

I thought I’d write the reason why Eddie is gay and a queercoded character. I see some people say that he is ‘straight’ and that Buck is the only one that was queercoded so I’m going to debunk all of that - This post is about Eddie but I will be mentioning his relationship with Buck because it plays a huge part in this.

Before I start I just wanted to quickly say that Ryan saying Eddie is a heterosexual character in an interview means nothing. Aside from the fact actors tend to lie in interviews he’s not going to confirm that he is gay because he isn’t going to spoil future plots. He was talking about Eddie in that moment as he IS percieved as canonically straight. It was said exactly the same for Buck before he was canonically Bisexual.

With that said I’m going to get into it:

2x04: This episode is only four episodes after Eddie’s introduction and they are talking about dating. Eddie tells Buck that those girls weren’t his type - which Buck agrees with. Then Eddie very obviously teases Buck about his ‘invisible girlfriend’ when calling eachother out on weak excuses for dating. When you rewatch the scene it’s so teasy and they just smirk at eachother. Eddie is borderline flirty with Buck in that scene.

This was also the same episode that this happened. As well as Buck driving Eddie to the hospital and setting up Carla for them.

Buck & Shannon

There are parallels between Eddie’s in-canon wife and his literal male best friend.

In 2x01, Eddie’s first episode. We have Eddie say to Buck: “You can have my back any day” and Buck respond with: “or you know, you can have mine” in 2x07, only six episodes after we are introduced to Shannon who tells Eddie: “I needed you to have my back” to which Eddie says: “I always had your back” to which Shannon disagreed with. The show made it known in the first seven episodes that Eddie was in the show that he has Buck’s back but never had his wife’s back.

In 2x07, Shannon tell Eddie that she needed a “husband and a co-parent” infering she never had that from him. It’s pretty common knowledge that Eddie co-parents Chris with Buck and even has him has Chris’ legal guardian. 3x05: “Do you know how much Christopher misses you? How can you, your not around” & 7x10: “what do you want me to do?” “What you always do… talk to him”

In 2x10, Shannon asks Eddie: “Can you forgive me?” and Eddie responds with “I can forgive you but I can’t trust you” which I interpret to me that he can’t trust her to not walk out on Christopher again. This contrasts in 3x03 which is eleven episodes after. Eddie tells Buck: “There is no one else in the world that I trust with my son more than you” in 3x06 Buck says to Eddie “whatever it takes for you to forgive me” and Eddie immediately responds with: “I forgive you”.

This is less about gay Eddie and more about a partner and a co-parent place in Eddie’s life but it all counts with the fact it’s his best friend and not his wife.

Eddie and Shannon (+ Kim)

Eddie’s relationship with Shannon is complicated, he did love her but I think it only went so far. We know that Shannon started as Eddie’s best friend (*cough* Buck *cough*) but they were young and they were pushed into adulthood with the pregnancy and marriage. They didn’t know how to be anything other than friends which was the biggest issue in their relationship neither one of them knew how to be an adult and didn’t wanted to face up to the reality of it and therefore ran away from it. I think a lot of their relationship had more to do with Christopher, It seems like Shannon was less about her as Eddie’s wife and more about her being a mother to Christopher. Everytime Shannon was brought up into conversation before her introduction it was “christopher’s mother” or “his mother” and never my wife, but he did acknowledge that he was married and he continues with the use of ‘mother’ in front of Shannon that she questions it. She asks Eddie what it is he wants and he responds with “I don’t know” which parrallels Eddie’s conversation with Buck in 7x09 when talking about Shannon’s lookalike he asks Eddie what it is he wants and Eddie responds with “I don’t know” he has had a consistant feeling of confusion throughout the seasons regarding what he wants. In 2x07 Shannon says the line “makes everything more broken” implying there is already things that are broken this parallels 7x09 when Eddie says that he’s broken and he can’t fix it. In that same episode Shannon’s lookalike asks Eddie if she was the love of his life and he responds with “I THINK she was” with a little shoulder shrug, showing that he still has conflicting feelings. Why would he not know whether his wife and his child’s mother was the love of his life?

In 7x01, Eddie tells Buck that he married the first women he dated and Buck corrected him with “slept with”. Eddie doesn’t know what love is like outside of Shannon, everything he had with her is something he believes he won’t find or feel again no matter what that feeling might be. Marrying the first person you slept with is kinda crazy and will easily having you blurring lines with your feelings. Whether he truly loved her or not she was still his childhood sweetheart, best friend, the first person he slept with, first marrige and mother to his first and only child there will always be love for her and I think he complicated that with something more than what it actually is he feels for her because there relationship was not perfects and nor was it great. In 7x09, he tells Shannons lookalike that he doesn’t know how to live a life without her BUT what he’s failing to realise is he already has been living a life without her and they were apart for most of their entire marriage which is what Eddie said himself.

Eddie idealizes and romanticizes his relationship with Shannon. When he met Kim he was having flashbacks of Shannon but they were only the good parts, the parts he wanted to remember not the parts where either of them walked away; not the divorce and not the arguements he remembers the parts where they had sex and he was kissing her on the beach. He’s living in a state of delusion and is purposefully blocking all of that out because she is all he’s ever known and he wants it back.

Added Quote - Shannon: “I don’t need a provider I need a partner” Eddie Begins

“Perpetual state of trying to make up for something”

“Maybe there’s something wrong with me”

Eddie and Ana

In season 4, Eddie starts dating Christopher’s old teacher and the first person he dates since Shannon. In 4x13, Eddie is talking to Carla about Ana and one of the first things Eddie says is “Christopher loves having her around” then Carla says “what about dad?” meaning what does he think about Ana. Carla then says to Eddie he has to make sure he’s “following your heart and not christophers” which refers to the fact that he’s always doing everything for christopher and never for himself. Just like how in 2x10 he wasn’t sure whether he wanted Shannon back in Christopher’s life because he didn’t know whether it would be for him or for christopher until Chris told Eddie he wanted her back. If Christopher’s school didn’t need her and he never asked for her I doubt Eddie would have contacted her again or would have been back in his life. In 5x01, Eddie has a full blown panic attack that he falls to the floor just because someone mistakes Ana as Chris’ mother and in the very next episode he doesn’t introduce her to Ravi at the firehouse eventhough she is stood there and has to introduce herself and it becomes a little awkward that Buck notices something is off with Eddie’s body language around her. Ravi assumes she’s Eddie’s wife and you can visably see Eddie’s internal panic. When Eddie talks to Buck about his panic attacks he admits that he thinks his panic attack was because of Ana, he didn’t like that they were becoming a “ready-made family” (eventhough he has no issue when it’s with Buck).

“I’m just gonna stick it out”

“Stick it out? That’s not the way you talk about someone you’re in love with”

“My kid loves her”

“Is that enough?”

He is once again putting Christopher first and doing this for him because Chris loves her, he doesn’t say anything about him being in love with her but going by his attitude it’s a safe assumption to say he didn’t love her.

I don’t know how anyone can watch his breakup scene with Ana and not jump to the conclusion that he’s gay. When he’s breaking up with her he says “the idea of us” (which is what he does with Shannon he thinks about the idea of her and a future, what they represent) then he brings Chris into it AGAIN. “christopher loves you so much I just thought” “eventually you would too” in this moment we can see that he’s with her because Christopher loves her and he thought he would love her as well overtime, he doesn’t love her but thinks that he can. When she rubs his arm, touches his face and kisses his cheek he barely even reacts to it - you can see there’s possible guilt there though.

Eddie and Marisol

There isn’t a lot to say about Marisol she was just around but what I will say is - if they weren’t heading in a certain direction with Eddie they would have kept him with Marisol and wouldn’t have felt the need to bring Shannon back up. She was here to help start his catholic guilt as she was a nun (his catholic guilt easily ties in with him being gay) after he found out she was a nun he didn’t wanna have sex with her and avoided it at all cost even going to Buck’s to get away. He moves Marisol into his place and moves her back out again within a day or so. He tells Buck he might have to break up with Marisol because it feels like god is watching and everytime he sleeps with her he has to bless himself but then tells Buck he can’t break up with her because all of her things are in boxes, that’s the only reason he can’t break up with her because of her things in his house *priorities*. Then he cheated on her in the next episode we saw her in. He did not love her.

He didn’t love Ana; He didn’t love Marisol and it’s very obvious he has confusing and conflating feelings about Shannon which is the cause of all of this. The question is…why?

Queercoding

Queercoding isn’t just being flirty with a guy (like buck has in the past) its the things that are said and acted but also how Eddie is towards women. Eddie was suppose to be canonically gay in s5 (with the whole Ana situation) but was shut down by FOX then he was suppose to be canonically gay in season 7 as he was the one who was suppose to kiss Tommy but due to the fact they couldn’t get hold of Buck’s female love interests they had to switch them around for that season. TWICE they tried to made Eddie canonically gay which means the show sees him as a queer character and now he’s going into a new season single.

In s6, Eddie was set up on a blind date and had a little freak out about it.

“I hate being forced to date it feels like I have to perform” both Hen and Buck clocked Eddie with that line when they frowned at him. It’s interesting that the episode title is called ‘Performance Anxiety’.

“I have these moments that are good. We save someone from dying; my kid does something awesome. It’s moments where I should be happy or proud or both I know that. I just don’t feel it. That’s not normal right?” we see every moment he’s talking about and they all include Ana. Emphasising on ‘that’s not normal right?’

In 6x17, there is a small montage of Eddie going out and trying to mingle with women throughout the day and fails badly.

In s7, Eddie is talking to Bobby about his situations. Bobby tells him if he’s having doubts about moving in with Marisol because he hasn’t been given the impression that he wants to and he remembers what Eddie was like with Ana when he had his panic attacks.

“So you think I’m a commitment phobe?”

“You don’t seem to have a problem commiting to certain things. The military, this job, your son….Shannon” (also Buck when he put him in his will as Chris’ legal guardian. That’s a commitment.) I would also say commiting to Shannon was an issue.

“A lot of the reasons why we got married was the church. She got pregnant and I think we both felt pressured into it but I never regretted it. There was a part of me that loved being married to her” He doesn’t say he loves her (which I think he does in someways) but he said he loves being MARRIED to her which plays into the idea of her and their relationship. Michael Grant in 1x01 tells Athena that he loved being married to her and he never regretted anything - their marriage or their children, and yet he’s gay. ‘Pressured’ and ‘a part of me’ stands out within this as well.

“It’s broken, I’m broken and I can’t fix it”

“You haven’t had sex” “exactly, it’s not even what I want from her” “so what do you want” “I don’t know”

“I’ve got a resevouir of catholic guilt lying dormant waiting to be activated”

Buck: “I don’t think I’ve ever seen a man turn a women off with such skill”

Eddie: “It’s a gift”

At the end of 7x10 we had numerous interviews with Ryan and this is what he said:

1) Eddie needing to ‘live his truth’ after seeing Buck and Hen (two canonically queer characters) living theirs

2) ‘Deconstruction of what love is’

3) ‘then the partner that is meant for me will find themselves and me at the same time’ despite previously calling Eddie ‘heterosexual’ he is now using gender neuteral terms to describe a love interest for Eddie instead of the use of girlfriend and/or wife.

4) ‘Eddie in previous relationships was trying to fill in the title of mom’

Eddie’s love for Buck

1) “There’s no competition for Eddie”

2) “your and incredible individual and you are worth all the love in the world”

3) THIS GOES BEYOND FRIENDSHIP

4) I love you to the core

If you still can’t see that Eddie is gay and has very much been queercoded then at this point you are just ignoring it.

There probably a lot more that I’ve missed off as well.

#buddie #911 on abc #911 fandom #eddie diaz

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bisexualhomelander · 3 months

Text

despite everything, i'm still human (but i think i'm dying here) - chapter iv

Ryan gains a new ability.

Ryan didn't enjoy being out in the woods. For one, they were dense, and he always feared he couldn't find his way to the house again. He was also scared that he'd accidentally stumble upon a ghost there. Sometimes, when the nightmares came, his mother called from the woods, gurgling on blood. Ryan hadn't meant to, he really hadn't, he'd just wanted her to be safe-

He bit his lip and moved on.

It all looked different now, no leaves on the trees. The only way to really tell the time in the house was the date set on his camera, so he knew it was November. They'd been living here for half a year.

He made his way through the skeletal branches. From time to time, he turned his head to check for the house. It was always there, like a ship in a sea of yellow leaves. He walked until he couldn't see it anymore, and then walked some more to make sure he was also invisible from inside the house.

He and Dad had had a fight. It had been their first actual fight if one didn't count the time Ryan yelled at him to leave him and his mother alone. But that hadn't been a proper one. Not really. They'd hardly known each other then, and it hadn't been like now because Mom had still been there, and Dad hadn't talked back at all.

Well, he hadn't talked back this time, either. Ryan felt guilty over yelling, but he knew he shouldn't. And yet, that utter look of devastation that had crossed his dad's features when he'd said what he had wouldn't leave his mind's eye.

"You're a fucking Dad! You are supposed to know those things!"

He leaned against a tree and slid down. In the bark, he could hear the insects carve their way. He envied them. Those small creatures instinctively knew what they were good for. They hatched and just... got it.

"Buddy... I... Ryan, please."

Ryan had spent all his life thinking he was a normal boy, but instead, he was a killing machine resembling a normal boy. There were days when he got mad at Mom for never telling him about his powers. Not because he had ever been invested in using them, but because he would have protected her. Even from his dad.

"No, fuck off! I don't wanna see you anymore! Go away!"

He remembered being fascinated by watching Homelander shoot his lasers in advertisements. He'd sometimes wished he could do it, had practiced in the mirror, had imagined red shooting from his eyes and killing his enemies.

"Ryan. Don't make this difficult."

At that point, Dad's voice had started to waver, but Ryan had been so angry that he had felt heat gather in his face and focus behind his eyes. It had taken most of his attention just to refocus all that energy on yelling instead of shooting twin beams into the wall - or his dad.

"Let me go! There's nothing you can do for me. There's nothing you can do at all! You're a shit dad! You're the worst dad in the world, and I hate you."

"I don't hate him," he told the little bugs in the bark. "But I hate that he can't help me. And that's unfair, right? He's the reason I'm still alive. Granddad would have killed me without a second thought. I know he's not that good a man, Dad. I know that. But he gave up all he had just so Granddad wouldn't hurt me. That's what a hero does, right?" He looked at the bark, focused his eyes, saw the moss melt away and let him peer inside the bugs' little pathways. "You don't even know I'm watching you. Vought does that to us, did you know? Dad doesn't know. He can't hear that kind of stuff any longer. His hearing's bad now." Ryan corrected himself. "His hearing's... normal now."

The bugs, once on the surface, just spread their wings and flew off. Ryan wished he knew how to do that. He really needed it now.

Experimentally, he hopped off the ground. Nothing. He copied the weird little crouch he had seen his dad do before jumping. Still nothing. He looked up at the trees and wondered if he could climb one and jump from there, but he just remembered the roof and the man his dad used to be, and then he remembered his mother.

"Don't you worry," he told the bugs. "I got a plan. Butcher knows about it, but Butcher's dying, so he can't help, either." Ryan pulled the phone out of his pocket. He showed it to the bugs in the bark. "See? He brought that to me in the cookie tin. With the toys. Vought didn't even check it, just like he said! They're cunts at Vought, you know?" Dad didn't like him saying that word, but the bugs didn't care. "They make people have powers, and then when they got us, they just lock us up forever. Why make us in the first place, right? Just so we can be in movies! Well, I'm making a movie, too. Do you want to see it?"

He showed them the video footage he had, two yellow Lego figures hugging in a living room. "That one's me, and that one's my dad. And this," he fast-forwarded the video, "this is my plan. D'you think it's a good plan?"

The bugs didn't agree or disagree, but he felt better after telling them. He didn't know how to tell his dad because Homelander had a tendency to overreact to those sorts of news, and he was so sad all the time. Though less after Ryan had started to show interest in his own powers.

He knew he had to go back home. He knew there was no running from it anymore.

Dad was sitting on the couch with his legs crossed when Ryan came in. He was holding a book, nonchalant as could be. The book was upside down, and Homelander's shoulders were rapidly moving with his quick shallow breaths like he'd run to the couch. His heartbeat was like a rabbit's, fast and scared.

So he'd been watching Ryan come closer from the window and didn't want him to know that's what he'd been doing.

Ryan toed off his shoes and walked over to his father to wrap both arms around his shoulders from behind the back rest. He buried his face in his father's clothes, inhaled that no-longer-new human scent of him, and broke down. "I'm so sorry, I'm so, so sorry!"

He didn't even pay any mind to the low hum that signalled they weren't alone.

Dad started crying, too, after a while, rubbing Ryan's hands in a gesture of comfort that managed to calm them both down. "I really thought you hated me, bud."

"I couldn't," Ryan said. "You're the only dad I have."

"You have time, Ryan."

They were walking side by side, Dad with his gold-rimmed glasses and a beanie, Ryan with his grey-sleeved Vought brand jacket. They must have made such a normal sight.

Ryan was glad there were never many people on the paths you had to walk on before you could get to the woods proper. Dad always got a little sad when they walked past others and they didn't recognise him at all. But when Ryan asked him about it, he said he was happy they didn't because being seen like this would be worse.

"I don't think I have any left."

"Why's that?"

They were in the woods by now, so Ryan knew he could speak freely. "Houses don't make noises, usually."

Dad's brows furrowed. "Yeah?"

"When I was small, I used to ask Mom why the house sounded like a bumblebee. There was a constant humming sound that I couldn't understand. Mom told me she heard nothing, but she seemed sad when she said it. I figured it was because she was jealous I could hear something she couldn't. I didn't know back then that it was because she was human and I was a supe. Anyway. I didn't hear that noise in any of the houses I've lived in afterwards. But our house has the hum. And you know why? I know why. There are cameras and microphones everywhere. In every wall. On every floor. In every single room apart from the bathroom."

His dad paled. There was a moment where he went through a rapid selection of expressions, and then his face was empty like he'd accidentally dropped all his emotions on the floor. "They wouldn't dare."

It had been months since Ryan had last heard him sound like... well, like Homelander. Dad's face had finally settled on a rage so overwhelming that Ryan instinctively took a step back, but he quickly recovered and grabbed his father to force him to look at him. "So they're watching. Vought. I've known this for a while. But don't worry, I've got it all figured out. Look!" He pulled out the phone.

"Is that-?"

"Your very first gift. That phone. I had it in my pocket when I... had to leave. So I just held on to it whenever I switched to a new safehouse with Aunt Grace. I kept it in a cookie tin with some toys. Butcher brought it to me because he knew it was in there. Ever since, I've been planning our escape."

Dad's face could have said anything and nothing at all. There was confusion, sadness. Mostly, there was fear. Not on his face, but in his blood. Adrenaline. Ryan didn't enjoy that smell. It gave him goosebumps. "So your movie..."

"I didn't want Vought to know that's what I've been doing. But I had to figure some things out, and I think best when I make movies. It just makes it more real. Well, I'm almost done, but I'm missing one key point: the escape route." Ryan had talked himself into a frenzy. His cheeks were burning, and his heart was beating almost painfully. He walked over to the trees. "We don't have a car, and it wouldn't do anything anyway. Vought would find a way. It's easier to smuggle a phone into the house than it is a car. But I can fly us out. If you teach me how." He turned back around to his dad. "Teach me."

"Now?"

"Right now."

"Where would we even-? Ryan, it-"

He took his father by the hands. "I know you're scared. I'm scared, too. But we'll figure it out, Dad. We'll figure it all out. We'll have help, I'll make sure of it. Butcher will help. And Aunt Grace will help, too, if I ask her. I just needed to run it by you first."

"It shouldn't be your job to get us out of here."

"I can't do it without you, Dad. You've already taught me so much, and you're always there for me when I need you. And you'll teach me everything you know. You made me that promise."

Homelander's eyes softened, and while his smile was unsteady, it was undoubtedly real. "I'm proud of you, you know? I'm really proud of you."

Ryan shrugged happily. "We got a lot of work to do, Dad."

Homelander clapped. "Let's get to it." He looked around, surveying their surroundings. "There is... nowhere we can train, really. But that's not important now. What's important is that you get a feel for your body in the air. I'll just have to lift you."

Ryan extended his arms, and Homelander took hold of him and hoisted him up. That had been a lot easier when he'd been smaller, Ryan knew. Within the past six months, he'd had to ask Vought to send him an entirely new wardrobe. Sometimes, his joint hurt with how fast he got taller.

The few times his dad had tried to hold him like this, his knees had started to buckle immediately. This time, it was different. His dad huffed a little, but his arms remained steady all the while. Ryan felt safe in his hold, not like he was weighing him down. It reminded him of back then. Of when Ryan had foolishly run away from his mother's house with his dad and this cruel woman.

"You can lift me up so easily now."

"Hm. Maybe I'm slowly building muscle. Wouldn't that be a thing? Your dad, finally as buff as his suit!"

"You'll be so ripped!"

They had a laugh about it, and it got rid of the last tension in them.

"So," his dad began to explain. "I know the rooftop was one of my worse ideas, but I wasn't wrong about what I told you that day. Your body knows how to do it, you just have to trust yourself. So what I'll do is this." His dad let him go, and Ryan landed on the ground. "I'll do it as often as I have to until you feel the weight of your own body taking up space in the air."

It was easier when he closed his eyes. The repetetive motion of Dad lifting him up and letting him go was meditative. Ryan moved his feet in the air, let them dangle, tried to go limp in his father's hold. He didn't even necessarily try to fly so much as try to make himself weightless, like an astronaut floating about.

"Like this," Dad kept saying. "Just like this."

Ryan didn't know whether he was doing it right, but his legs did feel a bit lighter. At first, he'd felt his blood rush into his extremities, feeling his weight most acutely in his legs. Now, his upper body above his dad's grip felt heavier than the rest. And Dad's hands felt different, too, his touch light but constant, and wow, he hadn't let him drop down in a while now.

"Dad, you can let go."

"You might wanna open your eyes, buddy."

Ryan did.

His dad's voice hadn't come from where he'd expected it to be. When he opened his eyes, he wasn't face to face with Homelander anymore. No. Homelander was looking up at him like Ryan had grown four inches over a minute.

He'd never seen his dad smile like that.

Dad's hands were hovering over his sides, but they weren't touching him. Ryan hung suspended in the air. He finally chanced a glance downwards. The sight shocked him enough to have him lose balance and slump down, barely landing on his feet. He staggered, and his dad caught him and held him upright immediately. They were hugging before Ryan had even regained his whereabouts.

"Didn't I tell you? Didn't I tell you you could? I knew you can! I knew you can fly!" His dad was rambling, ruffling his hair, and Ryan's heart soared. He'd almost forgotten what it felt like to have zero worries.

"Again!" he said and almost hopped into his father's arms.

Homelander willingly held him up until he was ready. This time, Ryan didn't keep his eyes closed. He wobbled a little as his father let go of him, but he managed to shift his weight just in time and stay where he was.

"Now, try moving." Homelander stepped back, giving Ryan plenty of space. "Maybe try flying towards the tree over there. This one right there." There was a lonely birch in the middle of the clearing, like it had been planted only with Ryan in mind.

Ryan's feet felt like they were in chains. His upper body moved easily in the right direction, but the rest of him didn't want to. He tried to put his all into it-

-and flopped forward onto the ground, landing on his face.

He was spitting out leaves as his father walked over to him. "You alright, bucko?"

He picked a leaf off his tongue. "Fine," he said, but it sounded petulant even to himself.

"Don't get angry at yourself. That was a great first try."

"We don't have time for first tries here. I need to do this. If they find out we're planning anything-"

"The cameras are probably watched by Crime Analytics, that's The Deep, that's- I wouldn't be too scared too quickly about them. Don't hurry. We'll do it like we did before. I'll guide you there, and you'll just hold on."

It took Ryan several tries to even get close to the birch, his father's hands acting as training wheels. But eventually, his hand touched the bark, and he held onto the stem for dear life.

"Can I try something?"

"Anything you like. Nothing can stop you now."

That was an exagerration, but his father by now seemed almost drunk on Ryan's quick success.

Ryan tried to reach for an upper branch, pulling himself upwards by it without letting his feet touch the stem. At first, he still used the strength of his arms, but then his entire body moved upwards of its own volition.

He didn't look down.

He didn't look down with the next three branches, either. Looking down would just unbalance him, and he didn't need that. It was just like climbing, really. He reached the top of the tree without further problem. He could see the house from here.

And if he could see the house, then that meant the cameras might pick him up, and-

He gasped, lost hold of the branch, and fell to the ground. His teeth rattled in his skull from the impact, but his back - that he'd awkwardly landed on - didn't even smart.

"Ryan!" Homelander was there, helping him up, but Ryan shooed his hands away and got to his feet.

"Weird." He looked at his palms where he'd tried to hold onto anything. His skin was unblemished without any scrapes. "That would've hurt me before."

"You're getting stronger every day. Developing your powers comes with some bonuses." Homelander looked up at the birch, mouth almost twisted into a smile.

Ryan understood why when he followed his father's gaze. The branches on his way down had been torn off by his hands in a panicked attempt to grab onto them. The birch looked mangled beyond belief.

"If someone sees this," Homelander said as they got ready to go, "what will they think happened here?"

"Stupid baby bird fell out of the nest."

"That was a huge baby bird if it took all the branches."

"Eagles are kinda big, no?"

Ryan really, really didn't know if he'd ever heard his dad laugh out loud before.

"Is it normal to see better without the glasses on?"

"Uh, I think you can become far-sighted if you get old." His father visibly flinched at those words, so Ryan was quick to go on. "It cancels each other out or something. So if you're short-sighted, but then get far-sighted, you don't have the same prescription. I think? I don't know."

"I'll have to send for someone to see what's up with my eyes, then." He set the glasses down and looked at Ryan. It was almost an uncommon sight to see him without the gold-rimmed glasses around his eyes. He looked more like he had back then, when they'd first gotten to know each other, except his hair was now a solid dark-blonde, almost brown. Like Ryan's. It had bothered Ryan whenever he'd find a new piece of himself in his father: they eye colour, the smile, the shape of his cheekbone when he grinned. Now the hair. The powers, always those.

Today, it didn't bother him at all. They had snuck back into the house like two boys with a secret, spending the way back home with over-exaggerated shushing gestures.

Now, they were in front of the fire with some hot cocoa. They were waiting for nighttime. For the plan to properly begin.

Ryan kept staring into the fire, and apparently his dad could read minds now because he figured out why pretty quickly and grabbed for Ryan's hand when he wanted to extend it toward the fire.

For a few months now, his experience with temperature had been gradually undergoing change.

He remembered shivering in his snow suit as a toddler when Mom had thrown snow in his face. He had felt the cold like a bite to his skin. The heat had driven sweat on his brow. Now, he could lean as close to the fire as he liked, and while he could always feel the warmth, there was never a moment where he recoiled from it.

"Will it hurt if I touch the flames?"

There was a beat of silence. His dad was still holding onto his hand. "It'll hurt. I can't promise it won't burn you a bit. Wait a while until you're sure it won't. You've seen you're getting strong."

"You were probably immune to damage at my age."

"Yes."

"Why were you so much better than me? You said you were breaking the sound barrier when you were something like six or seven. I can't even fly." It felt amazing to lie. His mother wouldn't be proud of that. Or maybe she would.

Homelander tried to look around the room inconspiciously. Ryan wished he hadn't told him about the cameras, but it felt good to no longer have to keep it secret. Eventually, Homelander heaved a sigh. His voice was low. Angry, but low. "When I was five years old, the doctors shoved me into an incinerator. Hand first. Like you want to try. My skin blistered, so they broke off the experiment. And did it again and again until my skin didn't start peeling off. When that was the case, they asked me to get into the incinerator entirely. My whole body. I was... maybe seven at the time. I don't remember anything about the heat. I don't think it was painful at that point. I certainly would remember sustaining an injury. No, funnily enough, the only thing I remember is hearing my own scream. Inside of there. The roar of the flames and then my voice."

Ryan felt nauseous. He drank down the last of his cocoa, snuggled into his father, and whispered into his ear: "They won't do this to you or me. Ever again."

The bathroom didn't have cameras, so leaving out of that window was easy enough. Homelander wouldn't fit through, but Ryan did. He climbed out, made his way over the roof, then took a deep breath and decided to just step into the empty air. His stomach dropped, but his body didn't fail his leap of faith. He drifted to the ground slowly and quietly.

There were no lights outside anywhere, so he made his way through the dark until he stepped off the paths and into the- into his- into their woods. He wasn't scared of seeing Mom's ghost this time. He wasn't scared of anything right now.

The dark and quiet didn't have to be dark and quiet at all. When he started to feel alone, he tuned his ears into the sounds of the woods. Thousands upon thousands of insects and other animals. He wasn't alone. He could hear his dad's heartbeat from here. When he felt like he wanted to see, he powered up the lasers, and the woods began to glow. When he wanted to find a spot with good reception, he didn't have to traipse around the forest floor. He floated above the treeline until his phone showed a full three bars.

He settled into the branches and put the phone to his ear. His hands were shaking when he waited for the voice he needed to hear, but he found it was from excitement.

"Newark?" she said. The codeword for this particular number.

He didn't bother replying in kind. He just got right to his point. "Aunt Grace? I need help."

#homelander #ryan butcher #my writing

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epiphainie · 21 days

Note

I think you said you don’t want to get into fandom discourse anymore and I’m not sure if this necessarily counts as discourse but if it does feel free to not respond of course. Anyway, I came across this post that stated bucktommy fans have blown their relationship out of proportion and given it more depth than it has because of the cameos Lou made talking about tommy and bucktommy. That our love and interest in them isn’t based in the source material but what Lou’s “headcanons” say.

Now I’m not going to speak for all bucktommy fans, maybe there are some that have conflated Lou’s interpretations with the source material but I can say, whenever I see bucktommy fans talking about why they love them, it’s always based in the source material (with the added invisible string theory which we all recognize was not on purpose and was a perfect little accident). Also, I personally haven’t seen any of his cameos first hand and only saw a few things on here that he mentioned in them but again, I do think the majority of us understand that most of what Lou says in his cameos re: bucktommy and tommy is not fact and we don’t use that to influence our opinion of canon. Bucktommy in canon is what has made me (and I would argue, the majority of us) love them as much as I do and made me so excited to see what could come of them and I still can’t fathom why that’s so hard for others to understand.

I also find the statement ironic because while Oliver and Ryan may not be making cameos talking about buddie, majority of these buddie shippers look to signs outside of the show to support buddie theories. If they see Oliver posting buddie on his socials, suddenly buddie is happening and buddie is real because why would he post that if they weren’t? Or Ryan saying in an interview that Buck and Eddie are going to be closer than ever this season is also some how buddie confirmation? Ryan and Oliver saying they like and send each other buddie edits is also buddie confirmation? So buddie fans can look outside of the show to influence their buddie beliefs but bucktommy fans can’t? They can love buddie be ways of outside factors but we can’t with bucktommy?

This doesn’t even take into account the fact that everything regarding seeing buddie in a romantic light is entirely fanon interpretation based on microexpressions, subtext, and dissecting scenes frame by frame, line by line -> which I’m not saying people can’t or shouldn’t do that, they are free to do so but then it’s like, you should’ve be a hypocrite, right?

tldr; some buddie fans have to accept that bucktommy fans like bucktommy because of canon and that what exists about them in canon is not nothing - maybe to them - but not everyone. just because they can’t see the solid potential in their relationship, doesn’t mean that it’s the objective truth. there are reasons to love bucktommy and if you (general you) don’t fine, just move along.

Hi anon,

I don't have anything to add because you said it all. I personally found myself shipping BuckTommy because come my 17th watch of their first kiss scene I was still smiling at my screen like a lunatic. Gonna pass on what people who cycle through made-up lasagna, shirt color, vertigo, fridge magnet theories weekly think about why I like what I like and the "validity" of that.

#mimi talks #anti buddie #i guess

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dandylion240 · 2 months

Note

Can you do the whole Ultimate Relationship list for Jayden & Evan? I'm patient, so no rush! (plus, turnabout is fair play, right?) ;-)

thanks!

Jayden and Evan - thank you for asking!

Disagreements:

Who is more likely to raise their voice?

Neither. It wasn't always like that though. In the early years of their relationship he would lose his patience with Evan especially when he'd bring work home and Evan wanted to talk to Jayden.

Who threatens to leave but never actually does?

Early in their relationship Evan threatened to leave because he felt unappreciated and invisible. He felt that the only thing that mattered to Jayden was his job. So he gave Jayden an ultamatum and Jayden didn't think he would.

Who actually keeps their word and leaves?

Evan did. He got his own apartment in the City and moved out.

Who trashes the house?

Neither.

Do either of them get physical?

Never.

How often do they argue/disagree?

They disagree quite often. Over the years they've learned to sit down and talk things through. If they can't do that they seek out their dad friend, Hayle, and ask for advice.

Who is the first to apologise?

Evan probably sees the need to apologise first where Jayden had to learn that there are times he needs to apolgolise. It was a difficult lesson and one where he almost lost Evan for good.

Sex:

Who is on top? Who is on the bottom?

Jayden is top and Evan is bottom. However due to Jayden's physical limitations they mostly cuddle in bed except for when Jayden is feeling especially well.

Who has the strangest desires?

I don't think either of them have any strange desires.

Any kinks?

None

Who’s dominant in bed?

Probably Jayden; although Evan has his moments and Jayden is more than willing to let him.

Is head ever in the equation?

Quite likely.

If so, who is better at performing it?

Evan is

Ever had sex in public?

Well there was that one time in the backyard in Jayden's parents hot tub. They were both in high school at the time.

Who moans the most?

Probably Evan but neither one is especially loud or vocal

Who leaves the most marks?

Neither.

Who screams the loudest?

Neither.

Who is the more experienced of the two?

Their experience is exactly the same. They were each other's first and only.

Do they ‘fuck’ or ‘make love’?

Definitely make love.

Rough or soft?

When they were younger they were experimental but they never got extremely rough with each other. Over the years though they've had to make adjustments to accomodate things that Evan wouldn't do and things that Jayden couldn't do anymore.

How long do they usually last?

Before Jayden's back injury they could go for a long time but now it depends upon his pain level.

Is protection used?

Mostly

Does it ever get boring?

Not for them

Where is the strangest place they’d have sex?

Jayden's parent's hot tub when they were teenagers.

Family:

Do your muses plan on having children/or have children?

Yes they do. Jayden always wanted a large family.

If so, how many children do your muses want/have?

Jayden always wanted four. After his accident they had difficulty getting pregnant and after they lost their son they decided not to try again. They looked into adoption and were lucky to get approved to adopt Ryan. Jayden is happy witht he family he has.

Who is the favorite parent?

Evan knows his kids love him but he's well aware that he's not the favorite. He doesn't begrudge Jayden that honor either.

Who is the authoritative parent?

They both are. They discuss things together and back each other up so that the kids can't go to the other to get a different answer.

Who is more likely to allow the children to have a day off school?

They both do. Sometimes they'll just go do something as a family or stay at home and play games. Everyone needs a day off now and then.

Who lets the children indulge in sweets and junk food when the other isn’t around?

Neither. They trust the kids not to over indulge when there are treats around.

Who turns up to extra curricular activities to support their children?

Neither Josie and Ryan are into many extra curricular activities. For a a couple of years Josie was a cheer leader but quit once Jolene graduated and wasn't there to pressure her. Ryan was on the swim team. But Jayden and Evan went to everything their kids were in to support them.

Who goes to parent teacher interviews?

They both go.

Who changes the diapers?

They took turns changing diapers.

Who gets up in the middle of the night to feed the baby?

They took turns.

Who spends the most time with the children?

Jayden does. He works from home due to his back injury so he's home when the kids come home from school and he's there when the kids go to school.

Who packs their lunch boxes?

Jayden does mostly except on days he can't get out of bed then Evan does it.

Who gives their children ‘the talk’?

They do it together even though Jayden will be thinking they can't be old enough for the talk yet.

Who cleans up after the kids?

Jayden cleans up after the kids go to school and Evan is at work. He has all day to a little bit at a time.

Who worries the most?

Jayden tends to worry more.

Who are the children more likely to learn their first swear word from?

From school or their cousins. Neither Jayden or Evan swear or at least not that much.

Affection:

Who likes to cuddle?

They both like to cuddle.

Who is the little spoon?

Jayden is.

Who gets naughty in the most inappropriate of places?

Neither

Who struggles to keep their hands to themselves?

Both. They're both quite handsy but they do limit it to holding hands, hugs and kisses when the kids are around.

How long can they cuddle until one becomes uncomfortable?

It depends a lot on Jayden's pain level. Sometimes a few minutes sometimes an hour or so.

Who gives the most kisses?

Evan does. Although Jayden gives a lot too.

What is their favourite non-sexual activity?

Cuddling on the couch watching one of Evan's favorite romantic movies together.

Where is their favourite place to cuddle?

On the couch. Jayden is probably lying down with this head in Evan's lap and Evan is running his fingers through Jayden's hair.

Who is more likely to playfully grope the other?

Probably Evan especially if he's trying to distract Jayden from worrying about something.

How often do they get time to themselves?

Not as often as they used to before kids but they do plan weekends when the kids are staying with their cousins or with Hayle and Chris.

Sleeping:

Who snores?

Neither

If both do, who snores the loudest?

n/a

Do they share a bed or sleep separately?

They share although Evan has offered to sleep on the couch when any motions causes Jayden excruciating pain.

If they sleep together, do they cozy up together or lay far apart?

They prefer to cozy up together whenever Jayden's pain level allows.

Who talks in their sleep?

Evan talks in his sleep.

What do they wear to bed?

They wear boxers

Are either of your muses insomniacs?

Can sleeping pills be found by the bedside?

Yes sometimes Jayden needs to take something to help him sleep when his pain is especially bad.

Do they wrap their limbs around each other or just lay side by side?

They often fall asleep holding each other.

Who wakes up with bed hair?

Both

Who wakes up first?

Evan usually wakes up first unless Jayden wakes up due to pain.

Who prepares breakfast in bed for the other?

Evan does.

What is their favourite sleeping position?

They like to fall asleep on their sides with some part of them touching each other.

Who hogs the sheets?

Evan is prone to hog the sheets.

Do they set an alarm each night?

Yes. Evan sets an alarm just in case he oversleeps.

Can a television be found in their bedroom?

No. TV's aren't for the bedroom. At least not for them.

Who has nightmares?

They both tend to have nightmares.

Who has ridiculous dreams?

Both

Who sprawls out and takes up most of the bed?

Evan

Who makes the bed?

Jayden does since he's usually the last one up.

What time is bed time?

Usually it's around 9:00 after they put the kids to bed. They'll be in bed talking for a while.

Any routines/rituals before bed?

Jayden usually takes a long hot bath to help him relax.

Who’s the grumpiest when they wake up?

Jayden.

Work:

Who is the busiest?

Evan is pretty busy between his volunteer work at the homeless shelter and his work at social services.

Who rakes in the highest income?

Evan does but once Jayden makes his name in the art world Jayden will.

Are any of your muses unemployed?

Technially Jayden is but he's an artist and working towards his first exhibit.

Who takes the most sick days?

Evan does since he generally takes the kids and Jayden to doctor appointments.

Who is more likely to turn up late to work?

Neither

Who sucks up to their boss?

Neither

What are their jobs?

Evan works as a social service agent

Jayden rediscovered his love for art and has sold a few paintings and working towards putting on his own showing

Who stresses the most?

The both stress over different things.

Do your muses enjoy or despise their careers/occupations?

Evan likes being able to help people.

Jayden likes being able to let his creative side out.

Are your muses financially stable?

Yes

Home:

Who does the washing?

Jayden

Who takes out the trash?

Evan

Who does the ironing?

Evan

Who does the cooking?

They take turns

Who is more likely to burn the house down just trying?

Neither

Who is messier?

Evan

Who leaves the toilet roll empty?

Neither

Who leaves their dirty clothes on the floor?

Neither

Who forgets to flush the toilet?

Neither

Who is the prankster around the house?

Neither

Who loses the car keys when it comes time to go somewhere?

Evan

Who mows the lawn?

Evan

Who answers the telephone?

They have their own phones

Who does the vacuuming?

Evan

Who does the groceries?

Evan. He usually stops on his way home from work.

Who takes the longest to shower?

Evan just because Jayden usually takes a bath.

Who spends the most time in the bathroom?

Jayden.

Miscellaneous:

Is money a problem?

How many cars do they own?

two - one that Evan uses to go back and forth to work and one that's been modified for Jayden to use.

Do they own their home or do they rent?

Yes

Do they live near the coast or deep in the countryside?

They live in a small town by the coast

Do they live in the city or in the country?

Small town

Do they enjoy their surroundings?

Yes they do but they might move in the future to be closer to their daughter.

What’s their song?

You are the Reason - Calum Scott

What do they do when they’re away from each other?

Except for when Jayden's been in the hospital they haven't been apart. Evan hates those times when Jayden is in the hospital and he barely sleeps.

Where did they first meet?

They met when they were both in high school. But it wasn't until they were at the romance festival that they realized they liked each other. Evan was there with Jonah and Jayden was there with Ethan.

How did they first meet?

You could say that Jayden stole his twin's date and Jayden felt bad but not half as bad as he felt for setting Jonah up with Ethan.

Who spends the most money when out shopping?

Jayden likes nice things so he spends more on his clothes than Evan does.

Who’s more likely to flash their assets?

Neither are the type.

Who finds it amusing when the other trips over?

Neither. Evan would tend to rush over to Jayden to make sure he's alright.

Any mental issues?

They've gone to and still sometimes attend grief support groups after losing their son.

Who’s terrified of bugs?

Neither

Who kills the spiders around the house?

Evan does.

Their favourite place?

In each other's arms.

Who pays the bills?

Jayden keeps track of all the household bills

Do they have any fears for their future?

Jayden worries about Evan growing old while he ages at a much slower rate. He doesn't like to think of a future without Evan in it.

Who’s more likely to surprise the other with a fancy dinner?

Jayden will sometimes surprise Evan with a fancy dinner at home. Evan doesn't like going out to fancy restaurants anymore.

Who uses up all of the hot water?

Jayden with his hot baths

Who’s the tallest?

Evan is taller.

Who’s more likely to just randomly hop into the shower with the other?

Evan sometimes joins Jayden in the bath

Who wanders around in their underwear?

Both

Who sings the loudest when singing along to the radio?

Jayden does. He's a pretty good singer and he knows how to play the guitar. His dad taught him.

What do they tease each other about?

Jayden will tease Evan about not being able to find a hat to match his outfit on the few times he's not wearing one.

Who is more likely to cringe at the other’s fashion sense at times?

Jayden no longer attempts to talk Evan out of wearing a hat with everything.

Do they have mutual friends?

Yes they do. Hayle and Chris are their closest friends.

Who crushed first?

I think it was a mutual attraction.

Any alcohol or substance related problems?

No. Jayden dislikes having to take his pain pills and sometimes waits too long to take them because he doesn't want to become dependent upon them.

Who is more likely to stumble home drunk at 3am?

Neither

Who swears the most?

Neither

#evan o'neil #jayden reagan #ts4 #character development

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justahumblememefarmer · 6 months

Text

Ultimate Doctor Who Poll Round 1 - Matchup 15

Episode Summaries under the cut

117: Resolution - Season 11 Christmas Special: The Doctor takes Ryan, Graham, and Yaz back to Earth on New Years Day after receiving an alert. They meet two archaeologists who have unearthed a Dalek that had been trapped on Earth for hundreds of years. The Dalek, in it's natural form latches on to one of the archaeologists and controls her, forcing her to give it information on the Earth as well as build a new shell for it to inhabit. While they are formulating a plan to stop the Dalek, Ryan's father shows up, and he deals with the emotions of his father abandoning him and not showing up for his grandmother's funeral.

They track the Dalek to a communications headquarters, where it intends to send a signal to Skaro. The Doctor destroys the Daleks casing, but it escapes and latches itself to Ryan's father. They all board the Doctor and agrees to take the Dalek home, but opens the door to reveal a supernova to suck the Dalek into space. Ryan grabs onto his dad, and the Dalek is pulled off of him into space. Ryan and his dad have a heart to heart, and the Doctor takes off with her three companions.

140: The Curse of the Black Spot - Season 6, Episode 3: The Doctor, Amy, and Rory land on a pirate ship after receiving a distress call. When the pirates try to force them to walk the plank, Amy grabs a sword to fight them off. In the fight, she gives one pirate a minor cut, and Rory receives a small cut as well. Both immediately have a small black spot appear on their hand, which the pirates insist is a death sentence. A ghostly siren appears, and her singing causes the injured to act like fools, but are drawn to her. She touches one pirate, vaporizing him. The pirates reveal she has shown up to take every injured crew member, no matter the size of the injury.

They learn that she is able to appear anywhere there is still water or a reflection, so they retreat to the armory, where they discover the captain's son has stowed away, and his illness has caused him to develop a black spot. The TARDIS is taken, so they attempt to cover up all reflections, and wait for a storm to pick up so the water will be rough and they can sail away. A gold piece allows the Siren to appear and take the captain's son, and the rough seas knock Rory overboard. Realizing he'll drown, the Doctor releases the siren and allows her to take Rory. Then he, Amy, and the captain prick their fingers so that the Siren will take them as well, in hopes that they will see their loved ones again.

They are teleoported to an invisible space ship that is in the same space as the pirate ship, just out of sync. The crew have all died from human diseases. The siren is actually a holographic doctor, and her song is anaesthetic. As she does not know anything about human anatomy, the best she could do was put each patient on life support. The captain plans to stay aboard with his crew, as his son will die if taken back to Earth. Amy and the Doctor take Rory off life support, where he immediately resumes drowning, but Amy revives him, and the three leave in the TARDIS.

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noforkingclue · 2 years

Note

Can u pls do dark!12th doctor x reader x 13th doctor in which reader is able to fake her death to escape 12th but accidentally meet 13th (when she is already with yaz n dan? Or fam? Up to 2.) u have no idea that she is the doctor at first. By then 13th might have already set her eyes on yaz but will seeing u again changed her mind? Will she let you go or trap u with her again? Up to u. Thanks in advance.

I didn't go into great detail about dark!12 and the reader's relationship. Hope you enjoy the fic!

Title: Invisible

Warnings: dark fic, referenced abusive relationship

Doctor Who tag list: @v4n1r, @queerconfusionthings, @yourneighbourhoodclown, @love-of-fandoms, @emilythezeldafan, @fabulous-jj-style, @theseeker945, @pleadingeyes, @kjaneway1, @truthbehindthemysteries, @im-a-muggleborn, @startrekkingaroundasgard, @mythandmagik, @geocookie21, @zerocanonlywriteshit, @thewinterpoet2, @anteroom-of-death, @night467, @clarasoswaldd, @sessa23, @mxacegrey

Everything tag list: @greenrevolutionary, @byebyebreezywrites, @spngingerbread21, @layazul, @lov3vivian, @simonsbluee

You died.

The Doctor had seen you die.

So how was it possible for you to be sitting outside a coffee shop watching the day go by and looking as captivating as ever? You smiled as you watched the people pass by, not a care in the world. It took a second for the Doctor to realise that you wouldn’t recognise her. Well, not unless she was standing in front of the TARDIS. You didn’t know that she had regenerated. You would be looking out for a white haired Scotsman.

Was this how you felt as you thought you were invisible?

Protected by the fact that you had so clearly died in the Doctor’s arms. The Doctor could walk right up to you and start chatting away and you would be none the wiser.

Yes, the Doctor liked that idea.

The Doctor wondered how you would be with a random stranger (at least to you) coming up and talking to you. Maybe she should wait a bit until the café got busier. Then she could ask to join you under the guise of there being no free tables. You used to be so welcoming and the Doctor hoped that her previous regeneration hadn’t damaged that too much.

She watched as you took a slip of your drink and stuck your tongue out to lick up a stray drop from the corner of your mouth. Fuck, the Doctor missed the feeling of your lips against hers. She just wished that you would’ve returned her kisses with that same passion as she had given them. Maybe if you had she wouldn’t have had to bruise you as much. Then again, you did bruise incredibly prettily.

You frowned as you looked around and the Doctor immediately stopped looking at you. You glanced over her but didn’t spare her a second look. This was London after all, the Doctor wasn’t dressed in any way that made her stand out. Not like that coat she used to wear. She couldn’t help but smile though. Clearly you sensed something was wrong but couldn’t quite put your finger on it. Even if you did, would you necessarily know it was her?

“Hey Doc, you ready?”

Immediately you stiffened at the name and the Doctor hopped to her feet. She swiftly marched over the Ryan, Yaz and Graham before you had a chance to notice them. After all, it wouldn’t do her any good to lose her advantage so quickly.

You still thought you were invisible

#fanfiction #doctor who #reader insert #request #the doctor #the doctor x reader #Twelfth Doctor #twelfth doctor x reader #Thirteenth Doctor #thirteenth doctor x reader #dark

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a-boca-do-inferno · 5 months

Text

trying wasnʼt enough (jack ryan x reader)

summary: Absence is a funny thing. It implies history and every story has to come to an end. Inevitably.

warnings: angst, fluff-ish, swearing

words: 1.6k

notes: based on the bell by first aid kit. lol bye

I tried hard to be brave

I tried hard not to be afraid

But trying wasnʼt enough

(y/n) sits on the edge of the bed as Jack walks across the room, carrying his packed bags. He stands in front of her, appearing tired and annoyed, “why do you always have to make me feel like the villain?”

“Oh, that’s right, how dare I”, she scoffs, shaking her head in disbelief and anger. “Because you’re the hero, aren’t you? How dare I question you, how dare I criticise Mr. Perfect?”

He sighs deeply, expanding his nostrils and looking away. This is going nowhere, they both know it. Dropping his luggage on the floor, Jack leans down so his face is level with hers. He speaks slowly, carefully, softly; like someone explaining something to a child. It only fuels her ire further. “You’re not being fair. What I do in the agency is important.”

“When are you gonna understand that I have the right to feel angry at this… this situation?”, her voice is but a whisper, breaking in her throat as the words come out. His brows furrow in something reminiscent of remorse, but it’s ghostly, nearly invisible. “Maybe I’m not being fair because this isn’t a fair situation.”

“And what’s fair to you?” Jack comes closer and stares into her eyes, his demeanour full of displeasure albeit he’s clearly containing himself. “Just because you don’t see me, doesn’t mean nothing’s going on. I’m doing this for us!”

“You being here with me, that’s fucking fair!” She shouts with a frown and Jack remains silent, his gaze unreadable. He doesn’t look away, doesn’t even flinch this time; his orbs hard and sharp as she adds, “that’s what I deserve.”

When being brave simply isn’t enough, what more is there to be? Resentful. (y/n) felt like anything she did inevitably led to her drowning in her own ocean of resentment towards Jack. His blue shirt now hung from the chair, moving with the soft wind coming from the half open window. He had left in a rush, something to do with the mission of the moment. She grew used to it; being second to his duties as an agent. If she called him a spy, he’d get angry and shut down for a whole week. Things only slightly went back to normal after he took her out for dinner. His career had always been an issue between them, because when he willingly leaves such an important part of who he is a secret—no matter how many euphemisms John’d find for that word—to his partner from the beginning, it means he set his priorities straight even before she occupied any position in his circle. First work, then her. And as it was from the very start, so was the end.

How could he be so distant, she wondered, yet so overbearing at the same time? Washing the dishes in silence, she reflected on the occasions he’d left her feeling weak and defenceless in his presence, surely thinking he was doing quite the opposite. She understood his protective nature to an extent, sure; being a Marine and now a field agent came with its own set of triggers and traumas. He lost a lot of people he cared about, and it seemed as though caring about her was like reliving—or rather, anticipating—every pain he ever felt when losing someone. But even though she held such empathy for his struggles, his behaviour left her at a crossroads. Jack was too busy with his work to go to therapy and work on himself, after all. She never felt quite any opening from his part for her to even dare suggest it, anyway. It seemed so trivial in the face of the things he had to endure for the “greater good”, as he had called it time and time again. The girl left out another heavy sigh.

She was dating fucking Captain America.

(y/n) places a washed cup on the sink and stares at it, her mind spiralling into the last two years of her life with Jack. Her eyes fill with tears instantly and she takes a deep breath, trying to pull herself together. When people leave your life, it shouldn’t be such a big deal. They have always come and gone, haven’t they? But the word “missing” does describe the stupid feeling very well. It’s not the longing for them, it’s the quiet laugh to that stupid joke she’d tell everyday that isn’t there now. What was once just isn’t anymore and when people leave, that’s exactly what happens; they’re somewhere else, not with you. And so there’s this insistent empty place which was filled not so long ago. The clock on the wall keeps ticking and the candles on the table melt all the same. Nothing happened, yet everything’s gone.

“Don’t do that”, Jack murmurs in the back of her memories. His words keep echoing like the sound of a ghost. He torments her every time she lets him. And she lets him more often than not. His glance is still slightly angry, but now also buried in desperation. He didn’t want to leave. It was clear and she couldn’t see it through her tears. “Please, don’t do that.”

“You’re never here anyway”, that was the last thing she ever told him. And just like that, he was gone the next day. “It won’t change anything”, was the quiet addition, after he closed the door behind him. Such a fucking lie. How could nothing change, really, when he was the reason for everything?

Walking towards the bedroom, she can’t help but laugh humorlessly at the things neatly organised. He cleaned it all prior to leaving this morning and a sad chuckle escapes her lips again. Back when they were in Moscow, she noticed right away he would be the type to drive her crazy over some dirty laundry on the floor. And she was right. They often had little arguments about domestic stuff, yet somehow, those were the best moments she could’ve spent with him. Going back and forth all day, teasing, bickering like two children was strangely soothing to her heart. Perhaps it meant that he was fallible, just like her; he could be picky and stubborn and annoying too, as opposed to his sober and unmoving nature, always in control. And it was like a breath of fresh air, to witness John let himself feel things even if for a period of time.

“Come here”, Jack coos as he pulls her closer, burying his face in her hair and sniffing deeply. She’s still a bit annoyed about their debate earlier, but he’s feeling cuddly today, rocking her body back and forth with his. There’s a playful beam on his features as he mutters, “stop being so stubborn, that’s my brand.”

“You have a lot of them”, she sticks her tongue out and he laughs soundly, tickling her side. (y/n) gasps and tries to escape his grip to no avail, big long arms holding her firmly in place. She eventually gives up and his lips meet hers in a gentle, delicate kiss. Her heart flutters in her chest as he squeezes her body, smothering her as he ever did. A small smile shows on her face and he follows her as they exchange a knowing gaze. “I love you, Dr. Ryan.”

He pecks her gently, caressing her chin, “I love you too, silly.”

Could it be that those shared moments with Jack always felt so utterly overwhelming because it was a rare thing to occur? Her stomach turned at the faint memory as if someone had been playing with her guts and she took a step back, leaving the bedroom and slamming the door. Every single thing in this house now reached her senses like poison and she just wanted to scream.

Running towards the backyard, her eyes fell on the little bedside table Jack had been working on. He made a habit out of doing woodwork and it wasn’t finished yet. She sat on the floor and studied the piece of furniture thoroughly, even though her knowledge of carpentry was about the same as her knowledge in maintaining a long distance relationship: fucking nothing. But just as she’s going to let herself drown in tears one more time that day, (y/n) hears steps coming from behind and turns her face to look at Jack standing tall, leaning on the doorway with his arms crossed.

He’s frowning, but seems more sad than mad at this point. “Are you gonna finish that for me?”

She snorts despite herself, eyeing the wood parts still waiting to be put together. “I’m afraid you’re gonna have to call Greer for that. I’m no carpenter.”

That gets a small laugh from him and he sighs. “I’m sorry, (y/n)”, Jack blurts out after a few seconds of silence. She stares at the grass under her feet as he approaches, sitting beside her with his elbows leaning on his knees. She can’t tell if he’s looking at her, but his hot breath hits her cheek as he continues, “if anything, I’d like you to know that I tried.”

His words sting. They sound soft and broken at the same time, and when she glances back at him, his gaze is so gentle. Ryan searches her face in deep thought, studying every inch of it as he’s used to and (y/n) simply nods, her eyes misty with unshed tears. “I know.”

From the rust that lies deep in its throat

I hear solemn tones

The danger, the absent floors

In the silence of night, he lets me know

That I’m not coming home

#tom clancy's jack ryan #tom clancy's jack ryan x reader #jack ryan #jack ryan x reader #john krasinski #john krasinski x reader

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clonemedickix · 10 months

Text

youtube

You remember that whole Umbara Arc, when Kix lost his cool and so desperately tried to pull his brothers to safety and render aid, even though it was hopeless and at risk of his own life? Everybody was present with him that day, given a little insight into his perspective. Or, who remembers the medic from Saving Private Ryan, who did the same in more graphic fashion, risking his life and losing it because it was better than watching others suffer?

I know how they felt. Not in the sense of my brothers and sisters are dying in a war, though we fight a different type or war. But in the perspective of watching the inevitable clutches of death take your patient, no matter how you fight, no matter the highly trained skills, no matter the expensive equipment and priceless experience brought to bear. Or when you realize that perhaps you’ve gone past the point of humane, trapping a soul in a broken body that can no longer support them. When no one listens to you, when you want to help but have your hands tied. When that ONE THING eludes you that could have helped. When you’ve moved so past the point of desperate that your team’s humor takes on a dark shape and you can only laugh to stave off the feelings of insanity at what you’re doing, how hopeless you feel, how much you’d like to leave and scream in a quiet place. When you feel invisible because everyone else has such tunnel vision they can no longer hear a voice of concern or reason.

It’s not because people don’t care. Rather, everyone cares so much that they really no longer know what to do. And so every team member walks away wondering if they did enough. Did they fail the patient? Did they miss the piece that could have fixed it all? Were they too afraid to speak up when that would have helped? Could they have saved that patient if only they’d done a little more, had some other idea, pushed that blood faster… anything. At the end of it all you’re left in silence, trying to recover and make sense of the storm. You’re left with ghosts, which will never leave you. Haunted by those you couldn’t save, who whisper to you in the quiet.

It’s not really even their voices you hear - it’s your self condemnation for not beating Death, for not being enough. Or at least, that’s what a good medic hears. The ones who care enough to let it drive you to save the next one. The ones who fight on in your memory, learn from the mistakes and the pain and the loss, who willingly carry your ghost with them for the rest of their lives and to the end of their usefulness.

I once had an experienced coworker from another specialty tell me, “You’re not normal. This unit is not normal. You should not walk among the dead like you’re in a war zone, and just go on to the next patient. How do you do this job?”

Because there’s always the next person you COULD save. Because life is worth fighting for. Because even after all the grief and failure and loss and heartbreak, somehow we stand up to try again. Because we have hope. Or at least, that’s what we tell ourselves when the call comes out for the next run. When we pull ourselves back together, shut our eyes to the devastation, and try again. This time we will win.

In the silence, I know what Kix felt, when Rex wrenched him from the line of fire. We can’t save them all, but by god will we try.

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accidentalshifter · 4 months

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[March 13, 2024: Klaus Mikaelson claims he's in his "Red Period"]

⚜️ TW: My Mikaelsons are a ✨️ problem ✨️ and don't play nice at all. Death, sex, blood, violence, manipulation, and dark themes will probably be present. I don't condone any of the actions taken by these vampires, I'm just recording them. For science. Shifting Notes:

Unlike the long shift I wrote about previously, this one happened while I was asleep. It was kind of short, lasting (what felt like) five or ten minutes tops??? For those of you who are new to my DR or my blog, please feel free to explore my pinned post (on my blog) and read about my TVD/Originals DR for more context. Happy shifting, y'all! Astrological Timing: Sun in Pisces, Moon in the earliest degrees of Taurus. Venus just moved into Pisces on the 11th, giving extra ✨ energy ✨ to creative dreaming.

⚜️ Last night, I fell asleep in my bed watching an episode of Buzzfeed Unsolved about Jack The Ripper with my favorite guys: Ryan Bergara & Shane Madej. I'm not blaming it on watching cold case files before I went to sleep but it was probably watching cold case files on Youtube before I went to sleep that influenced this shift. ⚜️ I remember turning off Youtube in my CR and closing my eyes to sleep and then having to open my eyes again because I thought I had heard a sound that I didn't recognize in my room. When I did, I realized I wasn't in my tiny little room at all, but in a luxurious room with a huge Egyptian rug on the floor, crimson walls, and leather seatings. I could also see paintings (both finished and unfinished) positioned upon easel stands that were littered all around the room in a semi-circle. I knew instantly where I was. Klaus' painting room in the Mikaelson chateau in New Orleans. ⚜️ I'm currently in ghost-mode like I usually am when I'm stuck here. I'm laying with my feet hanging off the side of the armchair I'm sitting (chaotically) in. I can see the back of Klaus Mikaelson. He's wearing a black turtleneck, long sleeved shirt. Meticulously, he dips his paint brush into a bucket of dark crimson, and applies the red paint onto a fresh canvas. Jazz music drifts into the room from outside. The doors to the balcony are open, letting the ambiance New Orleans fill the painting room while he creates his new "masterpiece". ⚜️ Because at this point I've moved past being terrified of him and have now entered the stage of just being annoyed that I'm stuck with him, start to make obnoxious sounds while I sit in the armchair. Testing to see whether or not he can see me or if I really am just totally invisible to him (for now). He doesn't flinch or show any signs of being perturbed while I do this. Klaus dips his paint brush into another bucket now. It's the obsidian black paint. He swirls the black in with the red, his hand motions effortless. I gotta admit, folks. I'm a bit jealous of how he holds his paintbrush. ⚜️ Elijah Mikaelson storms into the room suddenly. He's bristled. A bit frustrated. I can tell that whatever has gone on for him, he's had a hell of a day, and isn't pleased about it. Elijah interrupts Niklaus and tries to get his attention but Klaus just redirects the conversation onto his painting. "I think I'm in my "Red Period", brother. Look at how well I've depicted the darkness swirled within the blood, the mortal attraction all beings have towards death." Klaus puts his hand on Elijah's shoulder as he gestures towards the painting. "This might be my best one yet..." ⚜️ Elijah and I have a similar reaction. He rolls his eyes and I say "Booooo! Bring back your sketches, dude!" out loud. Elijah fixes Klaus with a no-nonsense glare and says "I think we have bigger things to deal with right now, Niklaus. Accompany me to the reading room? I have something I need to show you as well..." ⚜️ Klaus huffs, putting down his paint brush, and follows Elijah out of the painting room. I get out of the armchair, walking over to stand in front of the painting that Klaus is working on. On second glance, the painting isn't half bad. There really IS something to the black and red swirl pattern he's going with here. It's almost...hypnotic. My left hand (the one I write with) absently reaches out to touch the painting and I wake back up in my CR again.

Observation: Jack the Ripper=Klaus Mikaelson shift motivation apparently????

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myhauntedsalem · 5 months

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23 Parents Describe Their Kids’ Creepy Imaginary Friends

1. He doesn’t have a face

“My son from the age of three always tells me about the ‘creeper man’ who lives in my mom and dad’s bedroom. He brings it up after he visits them. I made the mistake once of asking what he looks like. My son said ‘Oh, he doesn’t have a face.’”

2. “You’ll get used to killing”

“A parent of one of my students told us in a meeting that she was concerned because her son (7 years old) talked about an invisible ghost who would talk to him and play with him in his room. He said the ghost was called The Captain and was an old white guy with a beard. The kid would tell his mom that The Captain told him when he grows up his job will be to kill people, and The Captain would tell him who needed to be killed. The kid would cry and say he doesn’t want to kill when he grows up, but The Captain tells him he doesn’t have a choice and he’ll get used to killing after a while.”

3. Little girl ghost

“When my daughter was three she had an imaginary friend named Kelly who lived in her closet. Kelly sat in a little rocking chair while she slept, played with her, etc. Typical imaginary friend shit. Anyway, fast forward two years later, the wife and I are watching the new Amityville Horror (the one with Ryan Renolds) and our daughter walks out right when the dead girl goes all black eyed. Far from being disturbed she said ‘That looks like Kelly.’ ‘Kelly who?’ we say. ‘You know the dead girl that lived in my closet.’”

4. Bad rabbit

“My cousin, when she was 5, and I was 17, had a stuffed rabbit that she talked to and carried everywhere. One day she was asleep on the couch while I was watching her, and she woke up and started yelling at her rabbit for no reason. One minute she was knocked out, the next, she’s awake, glaring at her rabbit, yelling, ‘No! You can’t do that! That’s bad! Don’t do it!’ I asked her what was wrong, tried to get her to stop, but she wouldn’t listen. I finally just took the rabbit up to her room, and when I came back down she was asleep on the couch again. Fuck whatever that rabbit was planning on doing.”

5. Roger won’t be around anymore…

“My little brother’s imaginary friend, Roger, lived under our coffee table. Roger had a wife and nine kids. Roger and his family lived peacefully alongside us for three years. One day, my little brother announced that Roger wouldn’t be around anymore, since he shot and killed him and his whole family. I don’t know if he remembers any of this, but his genuine lack of remorse was very disturbing.”

6. A boy in the tree

“My folks’ farm surrounds a cemetery, and my dad and my niece were walking down there. My niece (4) looks up and says, ‘What’s that boy doing up in that tree?’ There was no boy, but she insisted there was and could describe him.”

7. The bunny man

“When I was 16, I babysat twins who were in the third grade at the time. They always spoke of a man in an Easter Bunny costume, and they were terrified of him. One day I was babysitting, and one twin was in the shower. His brother and I were sitting downstairs watching television when all of the sudden, he said, ‘You need to go check on Matt.’ Seconds later, Matt yelled, ‘He’s in here!!! He’s in here!!!’ I ran upstairs, and I had to check every room before he would calm down. I’m not sure which part of the experience freaked me out the most.”

8. Poor Shaggy

When my mom was younger she had an imaginary friend named Shaggy. When she was finished with Shaggy, she ‘chopped him up and put him in the fridge.’”

9. “Smash Daddy’s head”

“When my brother was just learning how to talk he grabbed one of those small toy hammers and crawled onto the sofa where my dad was sleeping. He then leant in close and whispered one of his first sentences… ‘Smash daddy’s head’ right into his ear.”

10. Dark angels

When my brother was little he acted like he had angels talking to him every second. One day my mom overheard him say, ‘I can’t kill him! He’s my only dad!’”

11. “That’s the man”

“My daughter used to tell me about a man who came into her room every night and put the sign of the cross on her forehead. I thought it was just a dream. Then my mother-in-law sent over some family photos. My daughter looked right at the picture of my husband’s father (who has been dead for 16 years) and said ‘That’s the man who comes into my room at night!’ My husband later told me his father would always do the sign of the cross on his forehead when he was young.”

12. Message from beyond

“My wife and I overheard my two-year-old daughter on the baby monitor wake up on Saturday morning and say, ‘What? OK I’ll tell her.’ She then got up, came into our bedroom, and told my wife, ‘Mary says you’re doing a good job.’ Mary was her grandmother that she was extremely close to that passed away.”

13. I called him Spooky Guy

“As a kid, I said that my imaginary friend was a ghost. I called him Spooky Guy and said he died in the garage of the house on the hill behind ours. I even came up with his death. He was a 16 year old who got in a car crash and walked to that house to ask to use their phone (died in the 70’s). The person lived there grabbed him and sexually abused him there and killed him. He was my imaginary friend as far back as I can remember. This scared my mom so much that she tried to look up records to see if that happened and got me a therapist.”

14. Icy wants me to tell you it will be tonight

“In high school one of my best friends had a little sister who was five or six years old. One day we stopped by his place, completely high, because he needed to get his Magic cards. While waiting for him to come downstairs his sister came up to me and said, ‘Icy told me to ask you if you know when you’re going to die.’”

I laughed nervously: morbid question, right? But I knew all about Icy, her imaginary friend. I even helped her draw a picture of him once. So I played along and said, ‘No, of course not! No one knows that. Hopefully when I’m very old.’

The girl shook her head sadly and said, ‘No, Icy wants me to tell you it’ll be tonight.’ And with that, she just walked away.”

15. It is the punishment

“I was seventeen and babysitting a friend of the family’s six-year-old boy. He’d been in bed a couple of hours and I just peeked in to check on him. He wasn’t in the bed and when I opened the door, I saw he was standing in the corner, facing the wall. creepiest fucking thing ever. I asked him what he was doing and all he did was turn around, smile, and put his finger to his lips as if to say ‘shhh.’ I asked him again what he was doing and all he says is, ‘Leave us. It is the punishment.’”

16. Keep kicking

“My grandfather had a camp on Lake Dering in New Hampshire when I was a kid. One day when I was 6 or so, I fell off of the dock and into the water. I couldn’t swim. While under, I distinctly remember seeing a little girl down there who told me to look up towards the sun and just keep kicking and I’d be fine. I swam to the surface just in time for my grandfather to swoop me up and pull me back on the dock.”

17. Nope

“When my boy was 4, his imaginary friend would sit in the corner of the room when you switched off the lights and light the room with red glowing eyes.”

18. They were both dead

“Kid I used to babysit had imaginary friends. They were dead. One had no head. One was an old lady. They were both bloody. The one with no head had insides sticking out of his neck.

I didn’t ask him questions about them because fuck that.”

19. Tracy

“When my niece was about 4 she had an imaginary friend, which I don’t remember the name of. She would blame things she did on this imaginary friend but also talked about how this friend would watch Scooby Doo with her. One day I thought, ‘Why don’t I find out more about this friend?’ So I asked her to tell me about her friend. And she said, ‘She’s a she and she’s dead.’ And I said, ‘Does she have a job?’ And she said, ‘She does what my daddy does!’ Which is that her imaginary friend was a cop. So then I said, ‘Where is your imaginary friend a police woman at?’ And she said, ‘Right next I to where my daddy is a policeman.’ But then she said, ‘I met her when I was in my mummy’s belly. She touched it when I was inside.’

A few months before my niece was born my cousin Tracy had died. She was hit by a train. She loved watching Scooby Doo and had a ton of memorabilia. She was also a cop. She was a cop in the town that is right next to the one my brother-in-law is a cop in, my niece’s ‘daddy.’ My niece’s imaginary friend was my dead cousin. There is no other way she could have known all that at the age of 4.”

20. “That’s why I don’t like water now”

“When my kid was 4, we were watching a documentary on the Titanic. The scene was a picture of the schematics of the boiler room and the camera panned from left to right over the plans. He pointed at the TV and said, ‘That’s wrong. The boilers were on the other side. And I was right here.’ And he pointed to a small space in the boiler room. ‘That’s where I was. And that’s why I don’t like water now.’”

21. Emily

“When my sister was probably about 6 or 7, she had an imaginary friend named Emily. She told us Emily lived in her closet, wore an old black dress, and had long dark hair and she was the same age as my sister. My sister played with Emily constantly. My parents started noticing my sister acting weird. Just sitting in the middle of her room whispering to Emily quite a bit and acting a lot more distant towards them. I remember a very specific day, my brother was walking by her room and my sister was sitting in the middle of her room….but she turned around and hissed at him. He was scared shitless. He told me it didn’t even look like my sister. My parents ran up to her room and I could hear my sister just screaming and screaming.”

“I have no idea what happened in that room but I ran to the bottom of my stairs and the screaming stopped, I saw my parents holding my sister crying their eyes out, she was sobbing as well. I’ve asked her about it today. She’s 24 now. She told me that Emily used to tell her to do horrible things to herself. She actually used to wake up on the roof and not remember how she got there. I’m not kidding. Apparently Emily absolutely hated my parents so she turned my sister against them. She hates talking about it so I never brought up that specific night. This all happened at my old house. When we moved into a different house, Emily was gone. I’m not making any of this up. My sisters little friend was a really big deal to my family and messed things up for a long time. I’m just relieved we left that house.”

22. She floated above his bed at night

“When my younger brother was around 4, he had an imaginary friend named Victoria Meadowbrooke. He told us that she was the prettiest girl ever and she floated above his bed a night.”

23. “The Evil is coming”

“When my older daughter was two or three, she used to have a couple of imaginary friends, Dodo and DeeDee. They were typical imaginary friends. She would talk to them and play with them, and tell me about their lives.

Then one day, when she was about three, she was talking on her play phone when I walked into the room. She hung up her phone and said to me (with a completely flat voice and deadpan expression): ‘The Evil is coming.’”

#23 Parents Describe Their Kids’ Creepy Imaginary Friends #ghost and hauntings #paranormal #ghost and spirits #haunted locations #myhauntedsalem #haunted salem #spirits #ghosts

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