#but life yakno

[cryptidkieren]

i havent updated my steddie fic in literally (almost) Four Months and im suffering for it

ive got the majority written out and the rest outlined but i physically Do Not Have Time

[birdperselias]

this version of them....

[weisbrot]

the last ones in the universe ✨🌌

[teahugsandcookies]

If you haven’t made fresh whipped cream with summer berries and peaches and licked the cream off the beaters and devoured the whole bowl of fruit and cream maybe you should it might be good for you

[dockaspbrak]

I would love to be a horror movie character who died in the first half and haunts the movie

[vargonautic]

Hi! Hello! Life update! What is this, 2015??

Anyway. For those interested in whats been up and whats gonna be up:

Im goin to hospital :] in about a week ill be in full time care for a while, unsure how long really. For mental and ED reasons (no emergency illness stuff so no need to worry!) but. Its kind of a lot to deal with and im all over the place so yehaw

Ive been having a hard time with art for a little over a year now and making something im proud of has been a rare occurrence, hence im pretty much posting fuck all. One day ill get back into being obsessed with my art but it aint today and it probably wont be for another lil while :"")

Ive been drawing some in a sketchbook tho so i might share that while im on my hospital adventures. We'll see lol

Anyway thats all! I miss being active and interacting w folk here so i just wanted to share. Thanks for sticking around it does mean a lot to me :") ok kisses see yall on the flip side

[juuria]

Hardest oc to draw and easiest oc to draw??!

Also i saw your vid about your art university experience!! I LOVED IT so you’re doing your masters? How’s it going? :D

easiest is def anya, while the hardest hmmm.. i'd say yuki bc i always draw her ripped so i gotta lock in and focus on the muscles

and yea im currenly doing my masters and its going well, but the college i got into is... kinda specific? im not in graphic designs

[humandrift]

Where are the moments of respite!!!

[defiant-firefly]

Hey birthday basically over now. Was at a model train exhibition thing which was neat!

Some guy had a model train so small I said "wow can you imagine working on this with cats in the house?" and turns out the guy has five of them. Bro the train is smaller than a cat's claw how in the fuck do you not go insane pulling all the cat fur out of those tracks???

Some cool setups everywhere! Would have been even better if a certain dumbnuts (me) brought their fucking glasses! And someone murdered a teddy bear! Got a cool mental image of a coal wagon full of water with lilly pads in like a pond because I couldn't see the model properly and thought that's what it was until I got closer though lmao

Some random guys when we went out for food after wished me happy birthday too cause it was one of their birthdays as well, only to be told that they just lied for a free shot lmao amazing

Oh and my dad won the raffle?? Of a Hitachi themed Monopoly game??? That I can't find a trace of on a quick web search??? Whadda hell

Anyway I'm giving cake to everyone. You're all getting chocolate cake right now. I'm shoving it through my phone screen for you.

Also, spent the whole day with both a "2 today!" and a "3 today!" badges hooked on my headphone wires because they don't have pins. Once again, my wired headphones are the best lmao

Anyway. According to a train guy if you don't hold the giraffes down on your train cars they'll take over the whole track when you're not looking. You gotta watch out for the giraffes. Important life advice.

[aroacedavestrider]

(Multiple System ask meme) 7, 10, 21?

last one from @flare-dragon i sent to myself yeeeehaaew

heres 7 heres 10 and heres the ask meme if you wanna send one in

21.) running jokes within the system?

disclaimer: with a lot of our system in-jokes our friends in our discord server are in on like all of them too so uuod if you guys see this and youre like "LMAO i know this" thats On Purpose and you guys are an inseparable aspect of our sense of humor . xoxo

one time we were delivering a pizza and i saw a rubber ball in the customers yard and i audibly said "oh. ball in yard behavior". ?????????????? nobody has let me live it down

the Horse Curse in which we (completely unprepared) are plagued by images and mentions of horses

kevins 50th birthday bonanza 😈 shawtys: free✅✅ anyone else: seven dollas❌❌ he do be 50 doe😳😳🍽🤓 (ask and ill post it)

spronk(tm) and the church of spritekat. this has expanded to include the classpecting of ronald mcdonald as a lord of space and also the creation of the jerma pantheon (@jermapantheon)

qiu HATES carrots so the rest of us have "carrot duty" aka someone else will have to come switch spots with him at pilot to eat a fucking carrot lest we literally get physically bodily nauseous

lynette is french and it is so so scary

[gloopdimension]

Getting to Talk to leo casually(outside of his work) isnt too difficult. but getting to know him is trickier

[sicker-thingz]

well the downside of being off T is that i realize i DO have emotions after all and they never stopped being intense and i never learned how to cope cause i was just numbing it out. ugh. lame

[dockaspbrak]

Hhhh

[its-a-me-lia]

what type of neurodivergencey did you get?

I got Autism and ADHD obsessed with Five Nights at Freddy’s

[vivisviolets]

˖◛⁺⑅♡⑅~you received a lost package~⑅♡⑅⁺◛˖

🎁⁀➴ ✉ Energy check-in

📦⁀➴ ✉ Affirmations

📮⁀➴ ✉ Quotes

*cw* post longer than my temu package's tracking history 💀

˖◛⁺⑅♡⑅ -pick the package image you feel most drawn to- whatever caught your eye first upon seeing this post is most likely *your* pile!!!! but oh ofc you can also ease yourself, close your eyes, focus on your current state of mind/your life, and then ask yourself/spirit/God what pile has what you most need to hear rn! and pls pick more than one pile if you feel interested to do so!!! you may get messages you needed to hear across all piles yakno:))- okkkk byeeee-˖◛⁺⑅♡⑅

✉ pile 1

✉ ✉ ✉

✉ Page of Pentacles, King of Wands, Nine of Pentacles ✉

✉ Earth placements, Virgo/Capricorn/Taurus, fire placements, Aries/Sagittarius/Leo, divine masculine, divine femininity, heavy heart, earthy, warm/hot, -songs Only Angel - Harry Styles, Hate Me Harder - Kesha

✉ Woo- Look at youuu-!!! Look at you go more like- like, holy ish you should have seen me tapping into your energy and pulling out the cards one after the other with such genuine eassseee the heck... -but anyways pile 1s- you are REALLY setting your heart ablaze, it's like you're purifying your heart space after a period of purging energetically... In fact for quite a while, it was a consistent purging of- a lot for you. a total rebirth through a dark forest- you are literally an adventurer traversing through a fantasy land, following the pounding of your royal blood through your heart- knowing it will lead you to your glory- I'D SO READ THAT BAHAH- anyway though, you're really filling your heart with this fire. things and opportunities that fill you with joy and make you feel so warm inside 🎇🔥. I'm hearing a lot of self focus so projects around your passions or moving yourself up towards your goals! mmhm, I'm hearing a lot of different things for the collective- I'm seeing starting up a business, independent artists of various kinds, makeup or personal care focused products, you could be selling prints, monetized pages/videos, building a website- I'm seeing Jan Levinson with her candle side business😭😭... obviously you guys definitely don't house the shadow aspects of her character in your energy (tf am I saying 💀)- what I mean to say is after a lot of melting yourself down, you are now completely reforming into something that is completely personal and your own... like scented candle making 😭👍!!!!!!!!! okkkk I'm so freaking proud of you~ and if you've felt any heaviness just from you refilling your heart with so many opportunities- please don't let that cause you ANY doubts about your endeavors because OH👏- MYGOD👏 it's all going to go so well for you. no matter any circumstances or external worries. keep goingggggggg.

🔥🌱🌳

✉ Nothing can stop me from reaching my goals

✉ Regardless, my goals always become bigger and better

✉ I always reach my goals

✉ Regardless of anything external I am fully capable of achieving all of my goals

✉ Regardless of my mindset, I am fully capable of achieving ALL of my goals

✉ My goals become better and better

✉ I find fulfillment in my goals

✉ My goals always bring me so much joy

✉ My goals always bring me so much abundance

✉ I love building up my goals to infinity and beyond

✉ I am so good at doing what brings me joy and energy

✉ My goals orbit me

✉ My dream life is already waiting for me

✉ My dream life wants me

✉ Earning my dream life is as easy as breathing

✉ I am made of my dreams and desires

✉ My dreams and desires always become mine

✉ My dreams and desires are already mine

✉ Joy and abundance fuel my dreams and desires

✉ Joy and abundance fuel my goals

✉ Every single step I take brings me closer to my goals

✉ Achieving my goals is easier then ever before

✉ My goals have been deemed to be mine

✉Achieving my goals is so easy for me because they are already mine

✉ My goals love me

✉ My goals work for me

✉ My goals work towards me

✉ I am so happy for all I have accomplished

✉ My goals reward me daily

✉ I am rewarded daily because my goals are extensions of me

✉ I am so abundant

I have always been so abundant

Everything is an extension of me, and everything rewards me

✉ Everything is an extension of me, and everything flows me to where I desire to be

✉ My work is my creativity

✉ Creativity flows through me

✉ Creativity has always been my birthright

✉ I am made of creativity

✉ I am creativity

✉ I care for myself easily

✉ My goals allow me to relax

✉ My goals love when I care for myself

✉ The more I relax the more my goals flow to me

✉ I fully trust my goals

✉ I am fully deserving of my goals

✉ I fully deserve my goals

✉ I fully deserve and allow my goals to orbit towards me

✉ I align myself fully with my goals

✉ I am aligned to my goals

✉ I align myself fully with my desires

✉ I am aligned to my desires

✉ I align myself fully with my dream life

✉ I am fully aligned to my dream life

✉ My goals are mine.

✉ ✉ ✉

✉ pile 2

✉ ✉ ✉

✉ Eight of Wands (reversed), Seven of Pentacles (reversed), The Lovers

✉ Air placements, Gemini/Libra/Aquarius, earth placements, Taurus/Virgo/Capricorn, numbers 8, 7, 6, 1111, stops and starts, "air headed"/emotional/flightly described personality, healing unresolved wounds/fears, -song Love Is An Open Door - Frozen (2013)

✉ Oh my pile 2s :'), I'm pretty quick to ask how are you? seeing the certain reversals I got- one of them (Eight of Swords reversed) is definitely way more positive and a really good step in the right direction for you, it feels like a breath of fresh air!!- but it has a heaviness to it, it's a step in recovery from some baggage... and then the next one to come out felt like a real wammy- (Seven of Pentacles in reverse)... I got interrupted after a moment of being engrossed in your energy pile 2s, I feel you had a period where you felt this sense of freedom after a long while of realizing a lot of mental limitations you had that did not serve you- and so you jumped into trying and doing the opposite of those imitations!... but something might have happened that caused all that newfound sense of freedom to deflate in you- and you feel like you've gone right back to square one of how you used to feel- is that right? I find myself asking questions instead of being sure in what I am telling you, maybe that's the state that you're in currently of having all these why this? and why is that? with no feeling of hope in finding any answers, that right? <-- SEE?? there I go putting the questions back onto you instead of giving you answers:')- I'm so sorry. I'm hearing it might not have even been a big thing to have offset you as much as it did, just some sort of small trigger- it might have even just been your own pent up discouragement rearing its head at not seeing enough movement o headway in a certain aspect of your life, even with all the personal changes you were trying to create... I'm using the word trying a lot- omg this is so saddening😭... Ok, I'm going to pull myself out of this dark and dreary pity party (I don't say it in any mean way love ❤️) and take you up with me- because this place sucks and because I have got to offer you some help and some love- it's what you freaking deserve!!

-You have to address your feelings. you have to feel these emotions that are connected to all the limiting thoughts you have. you might be the type to be very flighty when it comes to your emotions- and there is a bright side to that trait that is beautiful and free and I don't think you should get ride of that!! but you're relying and using the shadow aspect of that trait by continuing to fly away to the externals first as to fix the limiting beliefs when really, the way to fix the external- is through the internal. do it for yourself, do it out of love for yourself. give yourself the space, time, patience and love that you deserve. heal your discouragement by allowing it to just be a feeling, and allow it to past like all feelings do. once you start healing and spending time and love on yourself- literally EVERYTHING in your life is going to blossom- love and freedom will be blossoming!!!! and you will be soaring stronger then ever before. oh my gosh-goodness I've gone on, but again- you deserve patience, love, and a space for healing- and I hope I was able to be that my pile 2s~ 🕊

(*reading your energy I know you may be cynical to these affirmations- again please address your limiting thoughts babe because they ain't getting you no where no how, and allow yourself just a little bit of trust. you don't have to even believe the affirmations, just read them/speak them. allow them <3.~*)

🕊🌅☁️

✉ I allow myself to heal

✉ I am patient with myself

✉ I allow my internal healing to play out

✉ I have full trust in my healing journey

✉ The more I allow myself to heal the more free I become

✉ The more I allow myself to heal the more I receive what I desire

✉ The more I allow myself to heal the more I accomplish

✉ The more I allow myself to heal the better and better life gets for me

✉ I align myself to love

✉ I align myself to joy

✉ I align myself to abundance

✉ I align myself to peace

✉ I align myself to my self love

✉ I align myself to my inner joy

✉ I align myself to my inner abundance

✉ I align myself to my self peace

✉ I am in alignment with myself

✉ I am capable of receiving all that I dream of and desire

✉ I am capable of giving and receiving love

✉ I am capable of self love and self care

✉ I am always capable because I am enough

✉ I am deserving of healing

✉ I am deserving of what I will accomplish

✉ I am deserving of love, healing, freedom, and to know myself better

✉ I deserve to be healed

✉ I deserve to be limitless

✉ I deserve to love myself

✉ I deserve love

✉ When I change, my reality follows

✉ I make the choice to heal myself

✉ I make the choice to love myself unconditionally

✉ I make the choice to allow self growth

✉ Regardless of anything external, I allow myself full self love

✉ Regardless of anything external, I allow myself to fully heal

✉ I release what no longer serves me

✉ I release what does not serve me and reclaim my energy

✉ I call all of my energy back to me

✉ My path ahead is full of healing, love, beauty, abundance, joy and freedom

✉ I trust my path

✉ I will be successful

✉ I trust that my path is full of abundant success that expands

✉ I am already successful

✉ Success is already mine

✉ I trust that success will flow into my life

✉ My success will build and expand

✉ I know that my success will be full of all my desires

✉ I am deserving of my success

✉ I desire to be successful

✉ I allow my success to flow into my life

✉ I trust my success

✉ I trust that success always finds me and I always find success

✉ Everything I desire will find me

✉ Everything I desire will flow into my life

✉ ✉ ✉

(*idk why but extra quotes for you~ ur favored fr~*)

✉ pile 3

✉ ✉ ✉

✉ Three of Swords (reversed), Ace of Wands (reversed), Nine of Swords (reversed)

✉ Air placements, Libra/Aquarius/Gemini, water placements, Cancer/Pisces/Scorpio, numbers 2, 222, 2222, 1212, 2424, 444, old connections, not needed, present-day path, planting seeds, blunt/honest/levelheaded/practical/mature/grown described personality, "he said- she said-", divided energies, feminine intensity, masculine intensity, commonly used emojis 💗, 🔥, 💀, -song Bloodline - Ariana Grande, Stray Kids (?), Enough - Jess Glynne

✉ For the first time in maybe over 3 years, my brain began to play Bloodline by Ariana Grande as soon as I tapped into your energy- I'm getting you may definitely have prominent air or water placements, more so Cancer, and Libra- other air and water placements too and oh gosh I'm realizing that those are Ariana's signs in her big 3- I do not think I'm connecting wrongly though,- I'm seeing that there are some of you that are either listeners/relate to Ariana, and the other camp is completely indifferent/are not in that fan base at all in which case I'm probably turning you off of this reading 😭😭- yea I'm totally seeing 2 separate camps in this pile rn, this divide of either very fem/fem baddies (that whole Thank U, Next album was very much in that whole aesthetic)- or very masc aesthetic/personality (not gender specific btw- this is fully afab/amab safe)... I randomly typed a fire emoji and heard the word "lit" immediately- so for my masc group you guys are described like that and or aim for that aesthetic- but my fems here are seen as that too 🔥 I'm hearing, like that description isn't gender-expression exclusive 💗🔥. again now there's more music coming through- for my mascs it's K-pop, K-indie, K-rock, K-Metel.. This is so weird to hear because i know nothing about that scene (someone here likes jazz tf- okkkk😭)... two very different and... stubborn- towards each other?- energies rn.

Ok, I'm going to actually get into what's going on as best I can for the collective- I'll be honest, this energy is all over the place, and I'm having a hard time reading or relating specifically to just one group of people rn like- 💀💀💀... I'm hearing the phrase "he said- she said-" so honestly I could be describing two people who are in/were in a relationship of some kind, a feminine and a masculine- (again, afab/amab safe!! and take what resonates) so you could be the feminine reading this and this is about a masculine who's heavy on your heart, or you could be the masculine in this and this is concerning your feminine whom you're really messed up over. and for both of these situations, it's really mutual that you two cut each other deep in the heart space 💀- like fr there is history that has occurred between you two and something happened that really made the mark that you guys left on each other's hearts- open up and start bleeding... and I'm literally just standing here watching the intensity of you two gazing at each other-... I'm seeing this scene of the feminine wanting to close her door but just continuing to stare at the masculine who could have stormed off but instead is still standing on the welcome mat, staring back into the eyes of the feminine- AND I'M STANDING IN THE HALLWAY OF THIS APARTMENT COMPLEX LIKE... I'm just trying to pass through to go feed my cats 💀...

I fr don't know what to say,- and that is so not like me at all. I'm just so heavily in this energy and there are literally two energies coming in and are weirdly connected to each other- AND they are both stubborn as hell. YOU TWO ARE BOTH stubborn as hell 😭. in fact, you two are so similar that when you have a problem with each other- no one can get a foot in the door to help. because you two are literally so on the same level mentally, that you can literally continue your intense stare-down with your friends trying to get in the middle to put the situation on ice- but you both continue to set each other's souls ablaze... you two need a retreat away from each other BAHAH 💀. God, again I do not know what to say because not only are you stubborn and intimidating asf, you are also very mature (referring to a singular person again whew), and you have the (emotional) receipts to back up how intense you can be- (I cannot figure out where to put this but it keeps weighing heavy that some of you are even parents/have young kids you have to be thinking about constantly)- you know bullshit like the back of your hand and I know you'll def be eying my words rn like a hawk... wasn't I suppose to give you affirmations 😭????? *nervous laughter fr* jokes aside- I'm going to stand my ground to you,- I can feel it and see it in the eyes I'm being shown- you've been through a lot. you have a past that is heavy and it's weighed on you since you were just a little girl/little boy/little child. you had to mature fast in the way you did out of your own survival. and that has done what it has done- but what about now? yes, you can do and act however you want to. you've earned your living! as you believed you needed to, had to, and would do- but for someone so confrontational about other's behavior- why can you not do the same for your own? you're usually right with the conclusions you come to about situations and other people with all the shit you've seen- so why not face yourself with that same focus? just as you question other people's behavior, already knowing the truth about them- you can do that very thing to yourself.

question yourself- why does this person trigger you the way that they do? when this person triggers you, what are you reminded of? are you reminded of another person or situation? are you reminded of your family growing up? are you reminded of your father? or mother? or relatives?- does this person who triggers you- remind you of yourself?... do the heavy walls you built when they were required to survive, serve you now? because I think it's what's inside the walls that needs stabilizing.

WOOO I just gave tougher love then I have ever done before- but I freaking had to get through to you love!! I really hope I did, whatever vulnerable emotion you are feeling right now if you've read this far of what I've channeled for you- please know that you have people you can go to with these emotions. this isn't like when you were growing up, you are safe. you are safe to be fully you, every piece of you that you had to lock away or armor up is safe now- thanks to the life you are building for yourself. I'm hearing a saying about how when you cut a tomato, you get a bunch of seeds- and you can plant those seeds, and with your work and patience, you get more tomatoes!! and that's what you've done- taken the small seeds and grew things up for yourself. so please enjoy all your hard work, PLEASE- show all those parts of you love. plant those seeds that you had to lock away and allow them to blossom and finally see the sunlight you created. again, I really am seeing that you do have safe options to turn to for support, definitely personal support- friends I'm mostly seeing- people outside of your old family/upbringing...

if you're in an intense relationship of some kind (said person could even be someone you've known since childhood/earlier years) like what I was channeling earlier, then I'm seeing that could be a perfect opportunity to turn to people for support- and oh my gosh honey you're going to be so loved. you already are, people love you and want you to open up more to them- I'm just seeing you opening up more as being both healing and strengthening for you, but also for your relationships 💗. this is so sweet, you have some sweet people around you that you fully deserve (for those with kids I see you taking so much more healthy joy in being a parent and you connecting with your little ones so beautifully- I'm seeing dancing in the kitchen especially 😭💗). but just to be inclusive to everyone here, you of course don't have to open up to others- I see seeking some professional guidance of some kind would also be incredibly beneficial (also spiritual guidance if you have an interest in that), and also you of course always have yourself. so go inward and see how you can show up for yourself better!!!

alright whew I know that reading might not have been for everyone but it was strong so I know that this reading is for someone💗🔥 so it was a pleasure. anddd my apologizes for the full read yikezies 💀-

💗🔥💀

✉ I am safe

✉ I create a safe space for myself

✉ I have created a safe space for myself

✉ I am in a safe place

✉ I am safe to express and feel my emotions

✉ My emotions are mine and I am free and safe to express them

✉ My environment is safe and fully mine

✉ I choose to feel safe

✉ I allow myself to be vulnerable

✉ I allow myself to feel what as hurt me

✉ I allow myself to be bitter

✉ I allow myself to cry

✉ I allow myself to be angry

✉ I allow myself to grieve

✉ I allow parts of me that do not serve my highest good to pass

✉ I allow what does not serve me any longer to leave my body and exit out of my life

✉ I allow the most vulnerable parts of me to be healed

✉ I allow the most vulnerable parts of me to exist

✉ I respect my vulnerability to be as it is

✉ I love my vulnerability

✉ I allow myself to be patient towards my life

✉ I am patient with myself

✉ I allow myself to release control in my life and surrender to my healing journey

✉ I have released control and am now in a state of healing

✉ I allow myself to prioritize my needs fully

✉ I am my first priority

✉ I allow myself to feel taken care of

✉ I am taken care of

✉ I allow myself self love and self growth

✉ I am focused on giving myself the love I deserve

✉ I allow myself to be emotionally open

✉ I am emotionally open towards myself

✉ I show up for myself

✉ I allow myself to connect to my heart and give love to those I trust

✉ I am open to people I trust

✉ I am shown who I can trust and I allow my heart to open

✉ I am protected and surrounded by people who I trust

✉ I am protected and surrounded by love and those who I can love safely

✉ I am protected and surrounded by abundance and success regardless of any externals

✉ I deserve to be trusted and I am worthy to share my trust

✉ I deserve to be loved and I am worthy to share my love

✉ I deserve abundance and I am worthy to share my abundance

✉ I deserve success and I am worthy to share my success

✉ Trust is my birthright

✉ Love is my birthright

✉ Abundance is my birthright

✉ Success is my birthright

✉ Stability and loyalty is my birthright

✉ Regardless of others actions- I am deserving of trust, love, abundance, success, stability, and loyalty

✉ I accept the truth that it is my birthright, and that I am inherently deserving of trust, love, abundance, success, stability, and loyalty

✉ I allow myself to live my life knowing those truths

✉ I allow myself to breathe through my whole body and begin to shed all that no longer serves me

✉ I trust myself and I trust my journey

✉ I allow myself to be healed

✉ I am capable of being healed

✉ I am healing

✉ I am healed

✉ I allow myself to view my life as my own

✉ My life is my own, and I live by my love, joy, and peace

✉ I allow myself to see life as enjoyable

✉ I am capable of viewing life as enjoyable and all that can bring me joy

✉ I enjoy viewing my life as fun and full of joy and peace

✉ I allow myself to have fun with myself and those I love

✉ I am capable of having fun with myself and those I love

✉ I love having fun in my life and sharing that with those I love

✉ I fall in love with myself, and find someone to share it with

✉ ✉ ✉

✉

✉

✉

✉ oh praise be we're done~ byeeeee till next time

✉ ✉ ✉ love, vi~♡

[giamee]

CHAPTER XII! encore

<- prev masterlist next ->

GOING SHOPPING WAS A VERY WELCOME DISTRACTION from everything. leaving the guys after getting breakfast together, taking a bus into the busier marketplace, and perusing all the different items that mondstadt had to offer, you and layla were feeling properly satisfied.

in particular, the clothing stores had caught you and layla's eyes. the fashion was so different to sumeru's and you couldn't help but want to find some dresses and other clothes similar to what you saw the inhabitants of mondstadt wearing as they went about daily life.

layla knew a few specific brands- heard from a friend of a friend- that she dragged you along to, and you walked down the aisles together, scanning the racks of clothing. layla pauses to inspect a dress, a pretty blue one that would really complement her hair, before she turned to you conspiratorily.

"so, i knew that i said that we should ignore last night, but you and cyno, huh?"

you got flustered, gaze averting to another dress, a thick material that you thought would melt off of you during a sumeru summer.

"oh it's... yaknow."

"it didn't look like a yakno. looked a lot friendlier than that."

"you know how it is, layla. i mean, we broke up."

"and exes can't hook up?"

you looked up at her, shocked. she's smirking to herself, glancing at the dress' pricetag before grimacing and releasing it from her grip.

"i mean, hot girl summer, right?"

"and where was this energy when you were telling me to be careful, hm?" the girl simply shrugged, grinning at you elfishly.

"eh, fuck it. besides, i see the way you two look at each other. it's obvious that you two aren't over it."

"we are." your voice is quieter now, a fact that doesn't go unmissed by your friend.

"then maybe that's a conversation to have between you and him, yeah?" as if waiting for a cue, you and layla's phones both chimed, and you saw messages from the trip groupchat, as well as some unread ones from your inazuma friends. you'd fill them in later.

the place in question was a restaurant called the good hunter, one that albedo insisted was extremely popular with the locals. his recommendation proved to be right, too, judging by how busy it was around lunchtime. it was absolutely packed, the aroma of food making your mouth water as soon as you stepped in. you hadn't even realised just how hungry you were, but this was much appreciated.

albedo himself was nice enough, but there was something about him that reminded you a little too much of alhaitham for you liking. as for the man himself, he had arrived late, ending up wedged in one of the only seats left- right next to you.

the sheer volume of people talking in such a small place made this bustling restaurant... surprisingly private. albedo was seated at the other end of the table, telling your friends some story along with the help of kaveh's dramatic reenactment, and you could barely hear what the pair of them were saying.

and with everyone else's attention elsewhere, it was easy for alhaitham to scoot closer to you, leaning down so that his face is level with yours.

you don't pull away, but you eye the man warily. you never really knew what to expect with him, after all. his words and his actions told two different stories.

"so, you're getting back with cyno?"

you're glad that you weren't eating, otherwise you would have coughed everything out upon hearing that. you choke on your water, though, and you hate that alhaitham instinctively pats your back as you recover. his palms are warm against your bare skin, and you wish that you hadn't worn something that left you so exposed. you hated the fact that you found his touch soothing even more.

"who told you that?" you rasp out after finally catching your breath. his fingers linger against you a touch too long, and there's a flash of something akin to... remorse? in his eyes as he peels his hand away from your back. it feels cold without his touch.

"were you not... never mind then." you look at him, confused now. all of the mixed messages that he was throwing you in the past couple days was making your head spin.

"why the sudden interest? i thought you didn't like me." he looks confused now, more than anything, and in any other circumstance you would laugh at the way he gaped at you. it's a long few seconds before his head falls forward, his arms uncrossing to let his fingers pinch at the bridge of his nose oh-so delicately.

"i said to move on because i didn't want you or cyno to get hurt again."

"...oh."

"yes, oh."

"and not because you didn't like me?"

"...quite the opposite." alhaitham peeks up at you now, his expression uncertain, and you feel like you can finally read him. he sounded a lot softer now, the drone of everyone else in this restaurant fading away, and it felt like just the two of you again.

"then... why did you act like that yesterday?" his face scrunched up, a frown forming at your question.

"i don't know." disbelief was an emotion that you were beginning to strongly associate with alhaitham. "i thought that it wouldn't be right to tell you."

"but that didn't stop you from kissing me." he paused, looking away bashfully, before he meets your eyes again.

"that was an oversight on my part. it shouldn't have happened." the urge to rip your hair out was beginning to grow. instead, you laughed lowly, focusing your attention to the food on your plate. you really weren't hungry, but anything was better than looking at him right now.

"i'm sorry, y/n." you pick at the food on your plate with your fork, watching as it drops back down with a plop. "this won't end well, you'll both get your hearts broken again." you couldn't help but laugh at the stupidity of this entire situation.

"and what about yours, alhaitham? don't act like you're doing me such a favour by being a pussy." you spit out that last word with more venom than was probably necessary, if the way that alhaitham flinched away was any indicator. his mouth opened, and you watched him flounder for a little, but it was cut short by nilou calling your name from across the table.

you plaster what you hope is a convincing smile on your face, idly responding and ignoring the rising tide of emotions within you in favour of tuning in to the recollection of akademiya stories that your friends were relaying.

the rest of your time in the restaurant, greeting and saying goodbye to albedo, walking back to the hostel with your friends, felt like you were in some third person mode, the overbearing weight of alhaitham's inadverted confession leaving you well and truly stunned.

what now? he likes you but he's made it more than clear that he won't do anything about it. you're stuck between a rock and a hard place.

you find yourself staring down your reflection in the bathroom, once again having your inner thoughts consumed by the infuriating gray-haired man.

and like a severe case of deja vu, cyno slips into the bathroom the same time as you, his hip bumping against yours as he sidles up next to you.

"hey."

"hi." your voices sounds flat even to your ears, but cyno merely smiles at your greeting. he takes his precious moments to get his toothbrush, squeeze out some toothpaste onto it, before he turns to you- ever so casual, deliberately light tone.

"i don't have a movie to watch, but... would you want to sleep in my bed tonight?" you lock eyes with him through the mirror, those amber eyes boring into you, imploring you for an answer. cyno had always been good at that- wrangling some answer out of you that you didn't even know was there.

it's quiet, save for the water running from the tap as he wers his brush. it gives you time to think. temptation was not an ugly man- he had a sweet smile and a promise of familiarity, and you decided that that's what you needed right now.

"yeah, i'll get in after you." cyno beams, eyes crinkling with the intensity, and that's all that needs to be said for the rest of your time shared in the bathroom.

and then he's gone again, so quick that you have to reassure yourself that he was ever there at all, and you repeat the steps that he went through, washing your face, before turning to the door leading to all of the beds.

you really needed to update your friends about this. but it could wait.

✦ ⠂⠂୨୧ trivia :: despite majoring in chemistry and not architecture, albedo was able to increase kaveh's grades to solid a's while tutoring him

✦ ⠂⠂୨୧ gia's notes :: uhm. i don't have anything to yap about for once lol. my stomach hurts. ooh i know what to say cyno fuckers lovers yall are in for a TREAT next chapter 🙈 now give me one billion gajillion notes or i wont post it �� also the haitham drama is over (?) now yay!!! he's emotionally constipated and rationalises his feelings away ok guys everybody makes mistakes 😞

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