#but its used as a cover home now
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Floyd walking out of his room in the bunker like he didn't just spend the last 16 hours straight crying
#my art#trolls au#trolls 3#dreamworks trolls#trolls#trolls floyd#n2 au#not the only one au#also fun fact#floyd has his own house#after branch turned 18 Floyd moved out for a bit#his pod is still very close by#but its used as a cover home now#to tell people where to leave the stuff they dont want at the bunker#because floyd spent one week there and couldnt handle it and moved back in with Branch#JD was a little mad since he helped make the pod Floyd was supposed to live in#but he can never stay mad for long at his little brothers#they also use floyds pod for get togethers#like if floyd wanted to invite poppy over for tea#branch has only seen the pod once and that was when he helped floyd move in#and then a week later floyds stuff was back and he was passed out on the couch#and branch was like yeah okay whatever#jd also lives in the bunker but not?#he lives part time in the bunker part time in rhonda#so he has a room down there but its mostly his old stuff from grandmas pod#the stuff he was able to grab before the great escape that is#other stuff is things he doesnt want to lose that he got on his adventures#the room is usually caked in dust so the floyd and branch take turns cleaning so JD doesnt choke on 30 layers of dust when he comes back#theyve gotten very good at estimating when JD would return#its usually every few months or whenever a special holiday is coming along
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i wanted to try my hand at slamming Home with the puppetification beam. i told myself i wasn't gonna get attached. im attached. not sure about the outfit tho
#hes in my head now. rent free.#BITES HIM BITES HIM BITES HIM ARGHASBDASKJNA#in my mind hes in the same height category as poppy/barnaby/howdy#that is to say: Tall. Big Guy.#hes also mute! i think he can still like... creak? bc hes still Home yk yk i want him to keep his main attributes#also bc his mouth cant really open. those teeth are Fixed#ITS 6 AM IM SUPPOSED TO BE WRITING A COVER LETTER NOT THINKING ABOUT PUPPET!HOME#now im like 'oh what are his dynamics with the neighbors whats his personality what does he do'#BRAIN PLEASE BE QUIET I NEED A JOB#neurons said no job only welcome home#emphasis on the Home#scribble salad#welcome home#hes a big ol friendly guy...#im fairly satisfied with how he looks#i think he resembles his canon form enough#and i hope hes noticeably similar to wally! i tried to have him echo the little man in little ways#also please bear with me im not used to drawing glasses. at all#i need to give more of characters glasses huh.... get that skillz in
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not to be sooo insanely sappy on main but there’s something so beautiful about the intergenerational life of stories. did you know their are fairy tales older than civilizations. my mother told this story to me and i tell it to you and off it goes forever and ever. there’s a thumbprint of you in every tale you drift through did you know that?
#as a kid i read my mother’s copy of finn family moomintroll.#all the pages are falling out now. i think if you look close enough i could find scraps of her childhood inside#i love the old kingdom books but i only got into them after my (much older) half cousin bought me sabriel.#we’d never met before that but he said it was what he read under the covers when he was my age#when i was in grade seven and just-thirteen and scared i used to leave sticky notes with my favourite lines on inside library books.#i don’t know if anyone found those sticky notes. i hope so#idk. idk. its just nice to think about sometimes. the tale is not beautiful unless something is added to it so we add ourselves#queue gotta be kidding me#home cooked hijinks
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I dont necessarily need to live w a romantic partner but i do need to either live alone or live with someone i can wear tiny shorts and crop tops without a bra around without it being weird bc my current flatmates and me are cool but we are not that level of close lmaoo so if i wanna get something from a shared area i always need to put on something to cover up a bit
#it's too warm to lounge around in sweats and wear a bra#sel talks#i used to feel so alienated from my body as a teen/early early twenties#maybe also bc i always covered it up and even felt weird being naked on my own#now im like. fuck it. comfort is so much more important#and its fine to be nakey. comfy even#i remember one time i showered at home in a swimsuit 💀💀💀bc idek anymore
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my mom's college is sooo nostalgic 😭
#i used to come here as a kid#when we had a holiday but mom and dad had jobs to mom would carry me and brother here#she has her own huge department and its separated from other staff rooms#and there's a huge blackboard that students would draw on with colorful chalks its still there 😭😭#and frames of different anatomical structures#and the kitchen inside#and menu cards prepared by students all over#she's home science and english teacher so she has it all a bit of nutrition stitching and sewing cooking medicine table manners#chemistry biology literally everything#and the students prepared files with pretty covers and id pick out all the decorations from the files when they passed out#and in practicals mom would make them prepare tastiest dishes everyone got a sweet and one savory to prepare#and mom always has craziest idea she loves cooking so you can imagine the dishes i got to taste#the glass and foil paintings are still there 😭😭🥹🥹#and the cutlery#there are lot more wall hangings now#and the one huge center table is reduced to two small tables#and the department has got one new teacher shes so young#i mean its not so grand but ofc its grand it contains my childhood#the canteen and bookstall don't work anymore no idea why the owners abandoned them after covid#im so 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹#im meeting my school friends here then we'll go shopping
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listening to the isat ost and i feel like im gonna explode
#im TRYING to PAINT but i keep having to take BREAKS BECAUSE (REDACTED SECRET BOSS THEME) IS MAKING ME WANNA SHATTER INTO A BAJILLION PIECES#words#also like i have thoughts so SPOILERS#but its so.#the trio of i wont let you go home/tell us tell us tell us/you want to stay with them is so#like it gets me in my feelings...#i wont let you go home is so desperate and despairing and frantic#and then tell us tell us tell us is like the immediate aftermath of a breakdown things dont feel real yet but youre calmed down now#it feels so tired and worn down but still hopeful#and you want to stay with them is just pure Comfort and its just. SIFFRIN. I CANT. I CANT HANDLE THIS#it feels muted though and it feels like youre getting covered in a big warm blanket#and its just lovely ahgh#the we're with you!/its finally over melody finally feels Complete and then its immediately emphasised with the its finally over reprise#I JUST. I LOVE THIS OST#AND NOT TO MENTION HOW CAN YOU HELP ME STARDUST THAT SONG IS SO#IT FEELS SO RESIGNED IT HURTS TO LISTEN TO#loops depression vs siffrins mania FIGHT#isat spoilers#ok im done now
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I'm trying to find ways to slowly ease my way into taking walks (debilitating social anxiety) so I was going to download pokemon go again but my phone is too old :(
#im actually very upset abt this lol#all of the other tricks ive found rely on having a dog to walk#and like i would love to get my own dog but i absolutely cannot afford one lmao#so i guess i just. still can't go on walks#nobody seems to understand just how impossible it is for me to walk down the street when im not trying to get somewhere#like just going for a walk for fun/to look at nature feels like im being killed#people are LOOKING at me and when someone even so much as glances at me while im walking i instantly feel like I'm doing something wrong#or like they're going to misunderstand my sort of odd behaviors#i can't walk slow because they'll think im a stalker. i can't walk fast because ill get out of breath and they'll think im disgusting#i can't keep a normal pace because im too nervous and i just spend the whole time tense and hate myself even more when i get home#like. what the hell am i supposed to do lol#getting a dog is the only way i think i could stop myself from spiraling like that bc of COURSE im walking slow and leisurely.#im walking my dog. my dog wants to smell and has to poop or whatever#im no longer a freaky fat stalker im just some guy walking my dog#this became more of a vent than i was expecting lmao but if anyone has any actual tangible tips for how to go on walks i would appreciate it#when i had to walk 2 miles to class i used to take a small part of an edible right before i got on the bus lmao and that worked WONDERS#but i don't want to have to do that just to walk around my own neighborhood when i eventually move out#i just want to be normal lmao i want to go out and find bugs and look at leaves#i guess i could walk in the woods but what if i get lost#i want to be able to look at stuff. i want to be able to stop and look at a plant while some person passes by me#without feeling like im going to blow up or like they're going to hit me or like IM going to hit THEM#im used to anxiety but i always feel so erratic in public places. when everyone wore masks i was a little better#i still mask most of the time but it doesn't help anymore bc now im like one of the only people that does it#so now instead of blending in AND having my face covered i just stand out more#my face is still covered so it still helps but its like barely a net positive lmao#i want to be able to look around without worrying that someone is looking at me from their window and thinks im a stalker#truly how the hell am i supposed to do that without a dog lol
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meow
#ok uhhh hi. yeah im back from the strike but as of now i'm still gonna be away from my blog more?#ive been going out more and more lately with family and friends for vacation and i haven't had time to sit down and do my stuff#i also finally have a laptop - i'm very happy about this! i was worried i wasn't going to get a laptop before college and I hadn't been-#- starting commissions lately but its been covered now and im very lucky!#ive been focused on preparing my characters for artfight too - got some friends to join and added more characters#so I don't know if i can continue to be active here? hard to say but just saying hello again!#i COULD post my new refs that i made for artfight#i still have to go out tomorrow - i think i have a stuffed schedule ahead of me...#yesterday we went to the arcades with my friend who finally came to visit + a new family friend who joined us#and today we watched inside out 2 in the cinema w them. (really good movie - i cried haha)#ahh but yeah. yeah. stuff. Stuff.#everytime id come home from the hangouts id be too tired to do my thing and end up sleeping 😭#~ rambling#so as of now im just bouncing around discord with close friends#my old computer that has stayed with us for years is gonna retire soon since i got my laptop#i just have to transfer all my files in it and archive it somewhere else
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being in your 20’s sucks cause it’s like oh boohoo i have bills and pressure to make permanent life plans. guess i’ll get so stressed i want to kill myself about it
#op#i’m 22 i have no prospects no fucking degree#nothing to show for my fucking existence#alls i do is doordash for money and sit at home and cry about money#i have over $700 in medical bills from my infections and my doctor’s appointment that insurance decided not to cover for no reason#and i just. why am i pointless#i used to be smart and promising and want to do things with my future and now i’m just some#idiot ugly insufferable unemployed fuck who cries about everything and can’t sleep from stress#god.#AND ITS NOT EVEN AN ORIGINAL KIND OF MISERY#i can’t even claim to be unique for feeling this way!!!#so i won’t get any comfort for this other than. oh well Feeling Like That is Normal for your early 20’s#and i’m just expected to pick up and carry on and hope it gets better fucking. a decade from now#i don’t want it to be better a decade from now. i want it to be better now#whatever
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i saw this video on instagram and i wanted to tell you i love your tan skin so much it’s so pretty baby my pretty baby mi amor
AND WHAT IF I CRY HUH ?????
#do u know#that its practically THE beauty standard here to be light skinned ???#i quite LITERALLY grew up being told “oh ur skin looks lighter” as a compliment#ppl used to tell me (n still do) stuff like “oh tachi ur skin looks tanner than before” in such a weirdly regretful-ish tone like it was BA#n like my family rlly likes going to the beach n i used to ONLY wear longsleeves n leggings or basically anything to cover#bcuz i didnt wanna get tanned ???#most of my relatives r light skinned cuz they use so many whitening creams/lotions/products ??#n i always refused to use them bcuz the whitening soaps didnt smell as good as normal soap n it made my skin feel dry#n all the celebrities n my friends n everyone used to just *dream* of being light skinned n it was so weird#ive heard ppl say “shame she'd be so pretty if she wasnt dark skinned” like ?!??!#that was so fucked up n im glad im comfy in my own skin now#and ofc comments like that dont affect me know#n i do genuinely think morena/brown skin girls r beautiful#bcuz ik its only a product of like Filipino mentality or just asian beauty standards in general#but yk i nvr rlly expected u to like ???? yk#idk it feels good#it feels nice#idk i just love u n u hit a lil close to home n i love u yk ??#but yeah#i love u mahal <33#thankyu for that :))#tfshouldianswer
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One thread of the infinite network of coexistant and conflicting head cannons that exist in my brain says Spar's a cis dude (gasp I know) who's gnc as fuck, but you wouldn't know, because masc fashion is genuinely more practical, and so dresses and skirts and stuff end up being exclusively for when he's chillin' and relaxin'....which is almost never.
#BUT YOU SEE#I CAN MAKE A GENDER THAT IS SO METAPHOR#VISUAL SIGNALS FOR RECOVERY AND EVOLUTION BABEY#also he'd look banger in a dress i am correct#hush. hush now. im right.#on the otherhand i feel like vellum owns two dresses:#one for when Grey springs a fancy event on him and he doesnt have the time to put together a whole nice suit#its dark and bring out his eyes and irs cut well. not his favorite outfit but it looks good and its fast#and formal#the second dress is a home dress that is probably covered in paint and chemicals and whatever else vellum gets up to in his freetime#because sometimes your brain is 100% hobby time and you're not going anywhere and also skirt go woosh#edil chats#that tag is gonna get us in trouble when/if the actual edil actuallg wants to post#but he prooooobably wont wanna???#quinta chats#agent kaolin vellum#agent meriam felspar#three of hearts#three of hearts pod
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Welcome to the first Chill Valicer Save update of 2024! Where we discover that the gang is a few months ahead of us in the calendar and already celebrating Egg Day. :p However -- before we get into that, we first have to cover a mini-update I did before playing through Egg Day proper, where I took a crack at updating the house a little bit! I'd hoped to do a bit more with replacing furniture and such, but ended up deciding to hold off until after Christmas/my birthday (when I received the cashola to buy Horse Ranch and Home Chef Hustle) when I'd have more options. Here's what I did manage to update, though:
A) I took all the new plants out of Smiler’s inventory (black bean, soybean, coconut, pineapple, noxious elderberry, poison fireleaf – as it turns out, I didn't need them to buy a pomegranate as we already had a pomegranate tree), plus the spare planter that Victor made way back when from the household inventory, plopped all those in the greenhouse, and started rearranging! I now have all of Smiler’s herbalism stuff together, with the noxious elderberry and poison fireleaf next to their counterparts; all the veggies together; all the fruits together (with the pineapple next to the dragon fruit); all the flowers together; the soybean and black bean in the new planter; and the coconut in the empty patch in the orchard. So basically everything is now grouped a lot better. I may still rearrange the planters themselves in the future so certain types of plants are closer to the crafting stations that use them (like putting all flowers near the flower-arranging bench), but at least now all the similar plants are grouped together properly! Oh, and while I was in there, I tried replacing the "stuck" juice fizzer (that was permanently displaying a "ready to collect" screen with nothing in it) with a new one, just so the gang had one at home if they wished to use it. I later discovered that the new one ended up "stuck" too, but at least I tried?
B) I replaced both the upstairs and downstairs litter boxes with the fancy kind that shoots lasers to automatically vaporize cat poop. XD Hey, look, the family can afford it, and it saves them having to clean the litter boxes.
C) I recolored Moory’s shed to some cheerier colors after being like “why would THIS FAMILY, of all families, go with a beige cow shed” – now it’s bright yellow! Isn't that nicer?
D) I replaced the toilet and sink in the downstairs bathroom with more expensive versions – with decorative slots, so I could put a soap dispenser on the sink. :) I was going to do the same upstairs, but ran into a problem because the two bathrooms have very distinct color schemes, and I’m not sure the toilet and sink combo I used downstairs would fit with either...have to ponder that one a bit more!
E) I penned in Toothy – which involved MOVING Toothy to the other side of the front yard, by the tree in the left-hand corner and the wind farm, because as it turns out cowplants need surprisingly big pens. Possibly because Sims have to stand a certain distance away from them to feed and play with them. If I’d left Toothy in its usual spot, I wouldn’t have had any way to get to the pet obstacle course in the corner by the kitchen. I’m still not ENTIRELY happy with the placement, but it’ll do for the moment, and it means Toothy is now cut off from anyone who can’t get through the gate – which is anyone but household members. *nods*
F) And this one I didn't get a good shot of (though you'll see it in a future update) – I copied one of the grouped photo frames I got from that family reunion I did a little bit back and put some of Victor and Alice’s honeymoon photos from Selvadorada in there. It looks nice (even if I still have a couple of spare photos that have to be arranged around the grouped frames), but I still need to decide how to handle all the photos they’ve got hanging around. I’ve been thinking that I should maybe cull a few so they have more space on their walls and perhaps look a touch less narcissistic...but the problem there is, I personally love the photos, so I don’t know if I could bring myself to delete them. *sigh* We SO need “photo albums” in the this game. Give me a book object that you can put photos in, and that when you click on it, plays a little slideshow of the photos, and I will be CONTENT.
#sims 4#the lazy save#as you might expect#since it's past Christmas and I DID buy Horse Ranch and Home Chef Hustle using my parents' cashola#there's another farmhouse update coming in the future XD#but first we have to cover what I actually played over December#and this was a pretty good start when it came to a makeover I think!#it gave me great pleasure to organize that greenhouse#it really needed it#little sad Toothy couldn't stay in its usual place but I really thought the pen was a good idea#now I don't have to worry so much about wandering NPCs approaching#and yes I know that it's kind of ironic that I recolored the cow shed because 'why would they go with beige'#and then kept the downstairs bathroom entirely beige XD#to be fair I think the bathroom being beige is kinda funny#I might add a little more color in the form of artwork later#you'll notice the bathrooms upstairs are colored in accordance with everyone's favorite colors though#the beige one is for the public :p#they can deal with it#queued
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Love the thought of kiryu losing nishikiyamas lighter fucking instantly after he gave it to him. Like he leaves it in the car and nishiki is nice enough to re-gift it to him when they meet up again and then two weeks after that whole fiasco kiryu loses it again and nishiki just buys him those cheap packs of like fifty plastic lighters because this is why they cant have nice things and he hates (loves) him so much
#Yakuza loveblog#like as sweet as it is to have kiryu hold on to that thing forecer (his lighter now) i think he really has a problem with commitment. its#not like he doesnt treasure it. he just does a lot of backflips and jumping around and things inevitably fall out of his pockets#i believe in my heart that kiryu is always losing shit and taking nishikis without permission and breaking it sometimes. like yknow#younger brother behaviour. thats why nishikis always hounding him because hes suffered greatly from kiryus whims#his whimsicality. his ability to wander literally everywhere. i think kiryu played truant in school a lot#like very early on he knew it wasnt for him so hed stalk the streets in his school uniform and climb up or under fences and rip up his skirt#and knees and then when he meets up with nishiki and yumi again hes like hey wanna come lepak in this abandoned building i found ? and theyd#be like YEAH !!!! and bring yuko along too because i love her and she should get to cut her arm open on a rusty metal screw and have to be#sent to the hospital as little girls are prone to doing. i love talking about kiryu in his school uniform god .. i really ... like i just#know he would use it to its fullest like i have a very clear image in my minds eye of kiryu as a kid all covered in dirt from climbing into#gardens and dusty old buildings morning to afternoon and carrying cool rocks around in his skirt and when he gathers them all in a pile he#just dusts off his skirt and its literally still covered in dirt and mud and dust but he does not give a shit. like it would literally be#ripped up the back because hes always sliding down concrete slopes and banisters and im sure hes cut his leg open before and just bled.#all over his nice boue uniform and then limped home and soaked it in a bucket to wear tomorrow. like i see kiryu with a lot of free time and#he never does homework and is failing all his classes by choice because he alrrady knows what he wants to do. like hes only failing because#he doesnt show up for exams and hes literally the bad boy that the girls always ask nishiki to introduce them to like omg is kazuko your#sister ?? can you give her this letter ... and nishiki opens it and reads it first and its a love letter and he just gives it to kiryu like#there are hot girls in your area who want you desperately and kiryus like oh. neat. im skipping school again tomorrow btw do not tell oyasan
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Really wish this brain fog would pass bc I have a shitload of posts in my drafts i saved bc i wanted to read them but my brain said no. And it's tax season so I'm getting important papers in the mail and I cant fucking read them. Well I can read them but it's just words. Nothing is connecting up there. Thank god mom is here to help read that shit and translate but fuck do I hate this shit
Why can't my brain fucking WORK
#it feels like when i kept getting concussions in 9th grade (had 4) and i couldnt fucking focus and my reaction time dropped significantly#like we were doing a basic reaction time experiment in science and i said oh lets not use mine when we submit it (group of 3 pick best#result) and my friends were like pfft whatever go. and i did and they got real quiet and were like oh...#bc they didnt realize i was concussed concussed like bitch my ability to vaguely see in the dark is GONE i cannot see my rt is SLOWED#my brain cannot WORK RIGHT#it's recovered since then (yay neuroplasticity) but i still have bad brain fog from fibro and it's like god at least when I was concussed i#could easily be like listen i had 4 concussions i need help. no problem. but with brain fog it feels like give me a min im stupid today#i hate it!! i hate feeling broken i hate feeling like my brain is half working! it sucks!!#i got insurance shit the other day and had to ask my mom to make sure it was just a basic 'yeah youre covered heres more access' and not#something i needed to act on and it was so frustrating#marquilla#and whats worse is sometimes ill be talking or typing and think im making sense and then ill look back at it later or someone will ask me ab#it and its like oh... im sorry my brain is not working atm and i cannot get out what im trying to and what is getting out is jumbled#the absolute worst is when it hits when im driving and it's like hey you're 2 hours away from home snd now LOST get home bitch :)#luckily it only happened when i was 40 min from home and in a familiar enough area but my brain couldnt find the right 'path'#sucked but i actually knew i was actually on the right path when i saw this house with a lesbian flag sgsgdgdgdgdgdgd like oh! here!!
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exhausted head hurty already I hate being around the medicaid ppl they're beyond idiotic & unhelpful
#tried really hard not to bite this ladys head off during that interview#but when she said well i see no reason to think three hours a week in insufficient#i wanted to be like are you fucking for real right now? it took me over an hour to move her from the bed to the living room by myself#I cant clean her#its just fucking impossible to do alone & inevitably i miss some & then she gets an infection#I can't bathe her thats just not possible in any way#so the sores never get cleaned properly bc a sponge bath just doesn't do it#I showed her the bruises all over my body bc im covered head to toe in cuts & bruises from falling myself#bc trying to maneuver a 300 pound adult isn't easy alone and inevitably i get injured during the process or she does#so like?? is ur head stuck in ur ass lady or what bc i think its obvious to anyone with eyes this isn't a sustainable setup#not to mention my aunt's temper#ik thats the reason why a lot of home aides have quit on us bc she just berates & fights with anyone trying to help her#and i don't blame those ppl for quitting bc no its not appropriate to be verbally abused when ur just trying to do ur job#but in the nursing home she was docile at least#she doesn't act like that to doctors or ppl she sees as authority figures so being in there is much better for her behavior wise too#𓏲 ࣪₊ 📎\ rambles
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Shoutout to the guy at the concert i just went to who told my brother and I he loved us and we've been great, then let us get in front of him(to basically the front row) just in time for my favorite song that I had been talking about for the bands whole set
#sardonic speeches#i just. really love home by bobaflex man#we honestly went for dread engine bobaflex was just an extra treat#did he let us in front because i sang along to their cover of hey you? maybe#but god i definitely sang their last 2 songs at the top of my lungs#its been too long since i went to a concert man 🖤#the local metal scene is always unbeatable imo#will never stop mourning the loss of the alrosa(rip dimebag darrell)#it shoulda stayed as a monument or some shit but now its a fucking parking lot for apartments or smthn#hhhhhh bobaflex was my first concert man they made me fall in love w live music(along w devil by design and betrayed by the bullet)
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