#i stayed up until 2 am last night no one will guess what i was doing until then
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paradise
(INSPIRED DIRECTLY FROM THIS ITS COOL)
#THANKS MY BRAIN WOIMS#so funny . so story about how this happened#i stayed up until 2 am last night no one will guess what i was doing until then#and then woke up went to work came home and in a complete fugue state banged this entire thing out in two hours#(standing in the middle of my room covered in blood) .. ok. im good now. i think im good now. alright. goodbye#padabana#blsmp#balloon smp#animatic#my art#the animatic monster rears its head once again. ominously crunches on some ritz#... i think roughanimator is using splines for camera movement now instead of linear interpolation and if i cant control that its#a downgrade i do not want eased camera unless i say so :/ but.. then again... manually 'splining' that camera is a pain...#whateva#YAAAAYYYYY YOU WON!!!!!!! isnt it nice to win!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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TFOne!D-16/Megatron x Cybertronian!Reader One Shot: Conjunx
Here’s another One Shot with my bbg D-16. This one just cam e into mind so of course i got to writing. I’m pretty proud of this story and I enjoyed writing for only D. I hope you all enjoy!
TW/Tags: Fluff/Wholesomeness at beginning, D is precious and silly, angst after cut after wholesome romance, Implied abuse (mild), kidnapping, toxic relationship at end. Might make part 2? We’ll see what my brain throws at me at 2 am lol
You and D only really hanged out when Orion was around. Not because D was embarrassed but because Orion was usually busy doing something else. You were seen as a quiet bot and also cool by D. You always stood up to the superiors knowing you weren’t out of line. And despite being a few inches smaller then D. You were strong! D won’t admit it but he was defiantly attracted to you.
One day when getting off the train, Orion did something stupid again. Elita dragged him away to do a late mining shift as punishment. Later D was alone and worked on punching the punching bag in the mining quarters. The others left him be, knowing his temper without Orion. He was so focused he didn’t notice you came up behind him. Knowing he might try to punch you if you startled him. You descide to pick him up by the waist strartling him “Hey you glitchin bot! Put me dow- Oh its you.” You put him down. He looked at you no longer startled.
”Sorry D didn’t want you to punch me if I didn’t pick you up.” You chuckled.
”You know you could’ve handled my punches right?”
”Yes but I would’ve had to punch you back.”
”…..Good point.” He pointed his digit to you.
”You mind if we talk?” D almost froze as his smile shows to have strained a bit as he looked at you. “It’s nothing bad.” You chuckled. “Come on lets go where we can see the Iacon 5000 sign.”
“O-ok.” You two walked and once up there you finally spoke.
”So D I’ve been thinking. We’ve been good friends for a good while and was hoping. Since after all this time-“ You continue to speak as his head only started to overthink.
Was so lost in thought of you possibly leaving him that he barely heard you. He then heard you say Conjunx out of the blurr of what you’re saying. But that word brought him out of his thoughts “What you say?”
”D-16 will you be my Conjunx?” You were on one knee. (Thought it be cute shud up) D was dumbfounded until he realized and his face no longer showed a blank expression but had a cute little grin appear on his face. He then shakes a little. Little sounds of metal being heard. You reached a cervo toawrds him once you stood, a bit worried “Uhhh D??”
Then out of no where he hugged you and started spinning, you around as he shouted in cheer and joy. You were now dumbfounded and put your cervos on his shoulders gently patting. “So…..that’s a yes?” He then holds you up with his hands holding your waist.
”YES!!!!” I have been waiting for so lo-“ He looked at you once he stopped. He can tell you were trying to hold in a laugh. “Uhh”
”Guess tonight will be a night to never forget.” You both chuckled and embrace each other. Both of your foreheads touching as you two closed your eyes.
D then lets out a soft sigh as he gently lowers you. You standing once more. Your arms around his neck and his around your waist. Your foreheads still touching as you two stared into each other’s eyes.
”I love you Y/N”
”I love you D. Mine. Always and Forever.”
You both leaned closer together and as your lips both finally touch. The sparks in your chests soon glow. Shinning around you as you two stay in the moment together with the sign of Iacon 5000 behind you both in the dark city.
———————————————————————————
(Last chance guys skip this part if you don’t wanna feel pain)
Megatron sat in his throne as he thought about that night. It is truly the night to remember. After everything. He lost his best friend, his home, and after realizing he has been lied to for all his life up to now. He just couldn’t lose you. The high guard was third to him. His new cause is his new goal but you. YOU are the one thing that truly belongs to him.
As he sat there, his head resting on his fist as he watched the high guards having a meeting. He listened, only glancing down to see you every so often as you rest your head and one of your cervos against his chassis.
Your optics closed as you sat on his lap. You had a cog and a decepticon logo on your chassis. His arm around behind your back and cervo resting on your thigh. Your other cervo that wasn’t on his chest resting on top of his on your thigh. You had a few dents. Proof from when he forced you to come with him when sneaking into the city and take you with him. After some time he had to discipline you to behave. Same thing when he forced you to stay still as the Decepticon logo was put on you. You are His Conjunx. You should really learn to trust him. He even threatened to hurt you more if you chose to break the bond from that very night. Ever since then you’ve been tired and miserable. You always felt his feelings through the bond. But you can still feel that love he has for you. Only it’s much darker now.
You listened to his spark beat as you two stayed silent. Starscream and Shockwave started to argue as Soundwave sat there with a data pad. You’d slowly open your optics. You had a little rust under your eyes. Not very visible if far enough.
You cried. You cry every night after Megatron goes to recharge. The meeting eventually ends and Megatron dismisses everyone. Once everyone was gone he looked down at you. Finally lifting his head so he’s more straight sitting up. Moving his cervo to now hold your chin. Making you look at him as his now red optics narrowed and stared down at you. “Hungry sweetspark?” His voice was darker and rough. It still makes you flinch when he speaks to you.
You didn’t answer. You only shook your head as your optics remained dim. He leaned his head lower a bit. His face only inches from yours. “Almost Obedient…hm…”
You two remain silent for a moment.
“Mine. Always and Forever.”
He closes the distance. His lips connecting with yours once more after so long. His lips now cold as he closed his optics. You closed yours a second after.
But you didn’t return the kiss. His cervo moving from your thigh to the back of your head. Pushing your head a bit closer. Your kiss is no longer the same. His kiss. Is no longer the same. Megatron wasn’t Your D-16.
So….. y’all like 😗? If you wish for a part two please let me know.
#transformers one#transformers one x reader#tf d16#transformers d16#x reader#transformers x reader#light angst#one shot
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hii 😊 can you please write benny x yn where she thinks he’s a player so she doesn’t want to give him a chance and go on a date with someone else and that drives him crazy and he does everything for her to see him differently, even asks kathy to put in a good word for him
hi! 💝 I know you sent it like 2 hours ago – I swear, I am not insane but I was itching so badly to write something about Benny that... it's already here 👀 as much as I adore the fics with innocent, sweet Readers – my Reader talks back 😇🤭 I hope it's fine 😘
[ I haven't abandoned the three requests from my inbox from the last time, I promise ]
requests for benny are open 🥺🎀
Benny Cross was an insufferable guy. He was showing up at your diner nearly every day and always asking for the same thing with the same smug smile on his pretty full lips – and always getting your annoyed eye-rolls each time. Yeah, he was pretty and you wouldn’t deny that. And yeah, you could see why so many girls saw the appeal. Bad boys were in fashion now… Well, actually, where had they not been? But you didn’t want to end up as a girl in trouble. Perhaps you were just an ordinary waitress but you still didn’t want to ruin your life for a player. And you couldn’t understand why he wanted you so badly.
“I think it’s because you turned him down,” Kathy explained to you the other day. She was your friend and recently she had also been strangely associated with Benny’s motorbike gang – The Vandals. Ever since her breakup, you could not recognise her, honestly.
“I turned him down, exactly,” you emphasised. “Why can’t guys learn that no means no?” You sighed.
“Oh, please, it must feel… Flattering to be chased by a guy like Benny, right?” Kathy giggled and you looked away, trying not to reveal that yeah, she was right.
“Listen, I just don’t want to end up like my cousin. She had a one night stand with this bad boy at college and guess what? She had to drop out, now she’s a single baby mama and the guy? God only knows where. Some say he married another chick in Nevada,” you explained to Kathy.
“But you’re not in college,” she pointed out as her eyes widened and you just rolled your eyes.
Jesus, what was going on with her these days?
You couldn't know that it was Benny himself telling her to "spread the propaganda" so you'd be more willing to finally agree to go out with him. You couldn't know that you were driving this man crazy – driving him crazier than his motorbike. He would wake up at night all sweaty and all he could think about was you.
You were a tough cookie and you were a challenge – that was for sure. But Benny knew it was more than that. He already knew that his desire would not disappear after claiming you. In fact, it would only grow once he'd get a taste. He was serious about you and he was desperate for you to see it.
When Marcus Lane asked you out, you were speechless. You were walking out of a flower store with a fresh bouquet to put on your grandfather’s grave and he whistled at you.
You turned around and raised an eyebrow at the guy leaning on his car. And God, what a car that was… A shiny, black Cadillac that made your eyes sparkle.
“Hi!” You waved at him. “You’re back from college,” you pointed out.
“Yeah,” he nodded at you and lit a cigarette. He offered you one but you shook your head. “Couldn’t wait to visit my neighbourhood. I’m staying with my ma until the end of summer,” he explained. “Then I got a job for myself in New York City,” he bragged so casually.
You had always thought he was full of himself and full of shit, too, but out of all the guys in your high school year he had been the one who would succeed most likely. Apparently, it was true. He was going places.
“And how’s Camilla?” You asked him.
“We broke up,” he winced. “What you doing tonight?”
You blinked a few times and fixed your skirt. Marcus Lane asking you out?
“Nothin’,” you answered and tilted your head.
“Wanna go and see a picture?” Marcus asked.
“Yeah!” You nodded, not even asking what picture.
“Still living with your ma?”
“Yeah,” you answered.
“I’ll pick you up at six,” he winked at you and you only nodded at him before walking away, not being able to hide a smile.
On your way back from the graveyard, you stopped by the laundry to tell Kathy the news but she didn’t look excited.
“He’s a knobhead, isn’t he? Always has been,” she shook her head.
“Wow, gee, thanks for being happy for me! You know he’s goin’ places and… He’s gonna be somebody,” you couldn’t help a grin.
“Don’t even start,” Kathy put her hands on her hips but you kept on a dreamy expression, so she snapped her fingers right in front of your face. “Guys like Marcus Lane do not date girls like us, wake up.”
“Why would he ask me out then?” You got defensive because your feelings and pride were hurt – mostly because you had a feeling Kathy was right.
“Because he’s back for the summer and bored? He saw you and thought he could play with you for a while before he leaves forever? Because he thinks a silly girl he remembers from high school might be an easy fuck for the summer?” Kathy asked and asked as your anxiety grew.
“Wow, thanks,” you got angry because you hated how right she could be. And sometimes you hated how honest she was instead of feeding your delusions. “I’m going out with him tonight and I’m not gonna sleep with him,” you told her before walking out to go back home and prepare for the night.
You wore a red polka dot top and tight jeans for the date instead of a dress. Marcus didn’t comment but he looked a little disappointed and you could see that on his face. He kept staring at your thighs as he drove you to the cinema, which increased your anxiety that Kathy could had been right indeed… More than you had expected.
You went to see Bonnie and Clyde and after the movie, Marcus insisted on taking you to a club in the neighbourhood. It was one of those places you would never go to alone but with a man around, you felt safer. At least you should feel this way. But something about Marcus was not right. Why would a proper guy like him even want to take you to a club like that? Perhaps because he was seeing you as a girl like that. You didn’t disagree, though. The idea of getting free drinks was tempting.
“Looks like some of those dirty bums have a meeting here tonight,” he murmured to himself as you walked inside and you sighed at the sight of The Vandals themselves.
The whole place was full of cigarette smoke and it stank of sweat, leather and grease.
“I hate those punks,” Marcus winced. “Sit here, I’ll get us something to drink,” he winked at you as he sat you down by one of the tables and you nodded,
He walked away, without even asking you what you wanted. You looked around, feeling out of place and then you spotted him… Benny Cross by the pool table. You quickly looked the other way but he glanced in your direction and smirked.
You pretended to be very fascinated by the posters on the wall but he sat by the table next to yours and kept grinning at you with his flashy smile, his muscles all on display as he rested his arms on the chair’s backrest.
Seeing you there, it made his heart skip a beat. And those tight blue jeans, that red top... Benny was smug for a moment, thinking that you finally decided to hang out with him. He had been inviting you to this club many times before.
However, he quickly realised that you weren' there alone. And the guy you came with made him feel sick in his stomach. Not only because he looked like a typical piece of shit that would take advantage of a girl like you... But also because this guy represented everything that Benny was not. And it was making him feel insecure at the moment. Of course your standards were higher than a guy like him. That was one of the reasons why he liked you so much.
Still, he decided to play his little game and annoy you a little.
Marcus came back with two drinks in his hand and he looked Benny up and down before placing a drink in front of you.
“That punk bothering you?” He asked – quite bravely, you had to admit. But Benny remained the same as if he was a statue.
“For weeks now,” you chuckled and watched Marcus take a seat in front of you, still glancing angrily at Benny on your right.
“Is he stupid or somethin’?” Marcus asked.
“It’s fine. Let’s just pretend he’s not here,” you shrugged your arms.
In fact, you enjoyed it. And you wanted to pretend to like Marcus more than you did so Benny would finally realise you were not interested.
Still… You couldn’t help an odd feeling of safety now when he was sitting next to you and some part of you didn’t want him to walk away and leave you alone with Marcus.
“So, what do you think about the movie?” Marcus asked and sipped on his drink as you sipped on yours. Benny raised an eyebrow at you.
“We were in the cinema to watch Bonnie and Clyde,” you informed him quickly as if he was in the audience and you were an actress in the theatre but he was late and you wanted him to catch on. He nodded his head like a little boy and Marcus gritted his teeth. “Well,” you addressed your date now as you fixed your hair nonchalantly. “I adored it. And Warren Beatty was beautiful as always.”
“I don’t like him,” Marcus commented. “And I didn’t like the movie much. My favourite part was when they got killed.”
“Why?” You asked. It was already getting difficult to pretend to like him. And Benny seemed to be interested by his answer too – he tilted his head.
“Because they were outlaws and a couple of twisted psychos!” Marcus got irritated – at Benny still being there and at you asking such silly questions with such obvious answers.
“Yeah, they were but there’s also some romanticism to it, don’t you think? That’s why they made a movie about them. And why did you even go to see a movie about people you despise so much?” You asked and sipped on your drink again.
“You can’t be serious. There’s nothing romantic about murdering people,” Marcus started sounding very patronising and you suddenly realised that Kathy had been right. So, so much. You were a silly girl in his eyes.
“Murdering – no. But the life they had. The love, the freedom on the road,” you tried to explain.
“You want freedom on the road? Ask one of those bums here to show you,” Marcus laughed with irony and he squinted his eyes at Benny. “What you still doing here, punk? How can I get it into your thick head that you’re not a part of this conversation? It’s my date,” he scoffed.
“It’s my girl,” Benny leaned back with a smug smile and your heart skipped a beat.
Usually, when he’d call you that, you would get angry. But now, when Marcus had been annoying you for the whole evening, you actually enjoyed that. Because Marcus’ face was priceless. He looked at you with disgust.
“Is this true?” He asked you. “What the hell is going on?”
But before you could answer, some drunk and loud biker entered the club loudly as he laughed out loud.
“Fuck, I’ve scratched some Cadillac in the front!” He announced and sat by the counter to order beer. You couldn’t help but chuckle at that and Marcus’ face went as red as tomato.
He stood up rapidly, gave you a furious look and then ran outside to check on his beloved car, surely. Not caring much about the fact he was leaving you alone with dangerous men swarming around.
“So…” Benny started lazily as he licked his lips before looking you up and down. “That’s your type?” He pointed his thumb at the door Marcus had just left through. “That why you didn’t want me to take you out?”
“Why did you do that?” You asked, genuinely and his face got serious now.
“I saw you sittin’ here all alone, for a moment I thought… You came here for me,” he admitted with a laugh. “Then I saw that guy and I thought to myself: Jesus, what an asshole. So, I wanted to watch,” he shrugged his arms and you couldn’t help but stare at the flexing muscles and all the tattoos.
“He’s a proper guy. Graduated from college and with a job waiting for him in New York City,” you explained.
“But you’re not a proper girl,” Benny pointed out with a grin and you suddenly got a flashback of Kathy telling you the same thing – that you were just a silly girl for Marcus, just an easy fuck for the summer…
You stood up rapidly and Benny looked up with a confused look on his face but you ignored him and left the club, hoping Marcus was still there and you could explain to him that you weren’t Benny’s girl… Maybe he’d drive you home?
But Marcus wasn’t there anymore. The only vehicles in the parking lot were motorbikes. You sighed and started walking in the direction of the bus stop but the door opened behind you. You heard heavy footsteps and then the sound of lighting a cigarette. Turning around slightly, you spotted Benny following you.
“Just wanted to point out that proper girls don’t find Bonnie and Clyde romantic,” with a few big steps he was now walking next to you.
“It’s not the murdering aspect, gee, why do I have to explain it so many times?” You got irritated.
“I didn’t say anything ‘bout it. You said something about the freedom and the road. You ever been on the open road like that?” Benny asked and you already knew what he wanted to propose because he had been mentioning it many times before while flirting with you at the diner.
“Fine,” you rolled your eyes. “I need a ride home,” you admitted and bit on your lower lip. “And no, I’ve never been. On the open road, I mean,” you added, feeling your cheeks heating up.
Benny didn’t say anything, he only nodded before throwing his cigarette on the ground and walking away to jump on his motorbike. He started the engine and patiently waited for you to finally join him. Feeling the rush of adrenaline going through your body, you clumsily sat behind him and he made the engine roar like a lion – a very sexy sound, you had to admit – but he didn’t start driving. You realised he was giving you a signal to hold onto something before he would drive away. It was considerate of him, you had to admit. Other guys would just drive away and laugh at your squealing. But Benny wanted you to be safe and for the second time on that night you realised that he was making you feel safe. Safer than a proper guy like Marcus – for sure. And you just didn’t know what to do with this information.
You wrapped your arms around his waist, told him your address and that was when the engine roared again but this time he drove away.
And God, something broke inside of you that moment. It was as if your brain chemistry changed completely. The speed, the wind in your hair, the freedom – this odd feeling that he could take you anywhere like this and you would go with him… To the point that when you spotted him taking a turn that led to your street, you nearly felt disappointed that he wasn’t “kidnapping” you. Perhaps in this moment you understood your cousin even – why had it been so tempting to risk everything for a handsome bad boy.
Benny parked the motorbike in front of your house and you could already spot your mum standing by the window upstairs and looking out through the curtain. You chuckled at the realisation you would have to explain to her how your date with Marcus ended with a guy like Benny taking you home.
“Thanks,” you only said as you got off the bike, still clinging to his leather jacket to make sure you wouldn’t trip and fall. You were a little breathless after that ride.
“And? What do you think?” He asked as he raised an eyebrow.
“It was… Okay,” you grinned, not wanting to give him satisfaction.
“Why do you tease me so much?” Benny sighed.
He was done with playing for now. He just wanted to know the answer. Perhaps it would finally make him give up. Or perhaps it would educate him on the matter how to flirt with you better. Either way, he just wanted the truth.
“Why do you insist so much? I mean, I ain’t nothing special to chase me around for weeks,” you shrugged your arms. “And don’t get me wrong – or actually do get me wrong, the hell do I care? – but I don’t want to be just another number in your book, Benny,” you explained and Benny thought to himself that he wished you could see yourself through his eyes.
“You’re a whole book, kitty,” he winked at you and you couldn’t help but chuckle at that. Sometimes his flirting had this effect on you whether you liked it or not. “And I can’t wait to read it all,” he added, encouraged by your reaction.
“You can read?” You asked, teasingly.
“I’m full of surprises,” he smirked.
“That I see,” you laughed. “Um… I should go now… My ma’s watching us.”
“I can see,” Benny nodded and looked up at the window upstairs. He waved his hand and you grabbed him by his wrist to pull it down.
“Stop it!” You kept laughing at him and then you realised your face was only a few inches away from his as he was still sitting on his motorbike, ready to drive away any given moment.
A short moment of silence occurred between you two and you just kept staring into each other’s eyes as playful smiles disappeared from your faces. You swallowed thickly and fixed his jacket, not knowing what to do with your hands.
“You have a shift tomorrow?” He broke the silence.
“In the evening,” you nodded.
“So… See you?” Benny asked, unsurely.
“See you,” you smiled at him and he smiled back, relieved. “And hey, thanks for… For being there for me when I was with the… With the asshole,” you lowered your voice and took a step back to give him space now – finally.
“No need to thank me,” he shrugged his arms. “It’s just the thing I do, ain’t it?”
You furrowed your brows at those words.
“Protectin’ my girl,” he winked at you and the engine roared, making you take a few more steps back. And then he drove away – just like that.
Shaking your head and hugging your own self to feel warmer, you walked to the front door of your house, biting on your lip and not being able to help a chuckle.
Apparently, Benny had already decided that you were his girl. And, apparently – you enjoyed it.
MASTERLIST || BENNY MASTERLIST
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How...how are you alive?
Kenji sato x Fem! [Different demention] Reader.
☆♡☆♡☆
SUMMARY:Ken had a lover named Y/n, but she had passed away. He was devastated from that. Then 2 years later his mother was declared dead. So he took the opportunity to move to japan and restart his career in his home country. But then something strange happened. There was a exact copy of his lover in his living room. Except she wasnt his y/n. She was different.....from a different demention.
[A/n:Im gonna try and make this into like a series i guess lol]
(Warning: sexual tension, angst, confusion, crying, my cutie ken sad basically the whole story. Y/n has brown eyes & brown hair[ya know bc shes from a different demention]<tell me if i missed any>)
Pt1, pt2, pt3, pt4, pt5.
��♡♡♡
It was different. Sad. Not like what he had thought his life would feel like. Y/n had died 2 years ago because of cancer. He remembers her blue eyes sparkling like the ocean when the sun began to rise from the night sky. Her blonde hair swaying in the wind perfectly all fluffy and soft. Her plumped lips smiling showing her pearly white teeth. Her dress would be thigh length and sway in the wind so majestically. Her sweet voice would say the most beautiful things when she spoke. But then....her eyes became dried cracked wholes in her head. Her hair began to fall out and become like straw. Her smile started to turn into a signature line. Her voice started to sound ruff and hard. But one thing never changed. How much she loved Kenji. Everytime she saw him walk into her hospital room with the signature red roses and smiling happy to see her fiancé. But then it all ended with that one last beep on the monitor. After that he didnt want to find love ever again. It hurt to much. The sound of her laughter when they would cuddle and tickle each other. Or when they would wake up with each other in bed and stay there all day. It wouldn't be the same.
Then 2 years after that his mom was declared dead. Something snapped in him. He moved to japan to restart his career and forget about everything that wanted to make him cry all day.
So now he was on his way to play basbell. The Giants. Fight as Ultra man. And restart. But how he had asked to please make the pain stop to anything that could have the power to. Anything.
.
.
.
That was until he woke up to a crashing in his living room and a female screaming.
He had grabbed his baseball bat and tip toed to the sound. It was a girl. A women. She turned around and looked at him scared.
.
.
.
It was Y/n.
But it wasn't her exactly....She has brown hair and brown eyes. Probably taller than her and more plump in some areas...*ahem*.
"(Y/n?)"
She looked even more confused. "Uh, yes" she said uncertain. "Who are you and why the fuck am i here?"
He was in shock. Why was there someone that looked like his y/n but so so different. Plus his y/n never cussed. The only bad word he ever heard her say was crap. And she said fuck like shes used to saying it.
"W-Wait, you dont know me?" Kenji asked confused. He waited for her answer. ".....nooo?"
Fuck. What the fuck. How is this possible.
But, after some time. He learned that Y/n was 22 and was living in California. She worked at a cafe and book store to make ends meat. She was the complete opposite to what y/n was like. She didn't even have the same color at all like her. Brown hair, brown eyes, playful/sassy attitude and less innocent.
"Well, can you help me get to my home demention because like ya know, im not suppose to be in this one?"
Damn. She's right. She has to go home sometime. He looks at her thinking.
"Plus, everytime you look at me your litterely burning holes into my ass and tits"
Yep she definitely not his Y/n. How will this go now. His life is already a mess to began with...
♡♡♡♡
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(SPOILERS) breaking down how obsessed Andrew is w/his sister bc he's a repressed lil liar and I'm going insane
This post got longer than I intended it to
1. He claims they don't spend enough time apart from each other to even begin missing her so he doesn't even know if he would, but just earlier in the game he was apart from her for probs like 30 mins tops to investigates some cultists and guess what???? He was already missing her 😒
2. Says "I thought you grew out of this touchy-feely crap" when Ashley asks for a hug, but earlier when he was cooking dinner, he was the one with the inexplicable urge to "pull this broody bitch into [his] arms and force her to stay until she smiles" 😒
3. Piggy-backing off the last screenshot: WHAT OTHER THOUGHTS, ANDREW??? yOU WERE JUST THINKING ABT HUGGING HER. WHAT DO YOU EVEN MEAN. THESE ARE SIMPLY INNOCENT BROTHERLY THOUGHTS ARE THEY NOT????? 🤨🤨🤨
4. Bro just can't keep his hands off her. And everyone thinks Ashley's the clingy one jeez (lol the way he springs apart from her when Mom catches them is definitely definitelyyyy not worth analyzing. nope. not even when it happens a second time on the couch. nope. nooope)
5. What. What is he thinking here. Don't think I don't see those grey lil blush lines. Is this connected to my third point somehow bc like... 🤨😬 Is "Andrew" is gonna start doing and being what "Andy" was too spineless and afraid of doing?? That's what the vow was partly abt right?? Does that include—
5. WHEWWW BOY that little flashback with his gf has so much baggage in it I just wanna dissect. His girlfriend's tryna have a serious discussion with him abt his weird sister for the sake of bettering their relationship bc she genuinely loves him, but he just gets caught up in fondly talking abt said weird sister instead??
6. He's awfully hesitant abt Ashley learning some independence, bc y'know what?? I think he doesn't really want her to stop relying on him. But what do I know y'know
6. Wants his gf to put tie her hair up in a ponytail, then when she refuses bc he'll pull on it, says it's just "how boys express their love". Well. You know who else puts there hair up in a ponytail??? You know who else's hair he's always pulling on and touching???
7. The voicemails in his gf's phone left by Ashley are heard by him in his dreams, and his dreams are a construction of his mind utilizing his memories, personal hangups, and knowledge of Ashley. The voicemails irl were left on his gf's phone, and for all we know, he never actually listened to them in person. Bearing this in mind... odds are the things Ashley's saying contain bits of truths he believes within himself, filtered thru her crude, hateful dialogue.
Here. I transcribed one of them...
"DO YOU THINK YOU'RE BETTER THAN ME!? Just because you can fuck him and I can't? You think that's love?! Are you fucking delusional?? Cumdumpsters like you are just that. He will never love you. Not like he loves me. I am the only one. I am everything. I am the secrets you'll never hear. When he lies in bed at night, and when he needs someone to hold on to… It's not you he seeks out. It is me."
8. Claims Ashley's the one with the jealous streak, not him, but I think he's just as bad. The only difference is that Ashley's never given him reason to act on it since all she's ever wanted was him, but at the slightest mention of her gettin it on w/someone else, even as a joke, he gets mad. "OVER MY DEAD BODY!!" he says, when she's jokingly contemplating getting knocked up via the neighbor so an ambulance would come for her. "I wouldn't let them," he says, when she's complaining abt not being pretty enough for the wardens to bang her
9. Going hand-in-hand with that fact, he's intensely protective of her. Didn't hesitate to cleaver the warden who found her in the closet (probs didn't even BLINK lmaooo he chose VIOLENCE), and when the cake-stealing cultist insulted her just once, he stepped forward just like that
10. In their apt, when they were lying on the floor talking abt jumping off the balcony, he was really caught up in the "romantic" fantasy of them committing a double suicide and dying with their bodies entwined so irreparably by the impact they form one unified corpse "never to be separated!" and they get buried in the same coffin together. UM??? Bro fr thought he was the sane one of the two. That wasn't even true before the cannibalism and demon summoning 😭😭😭
BONUS:
11. This might just be me, but his reaction to seeing the post-sex vision doesn't strike me as someone who's inherently opposed to the idea. Instead of disgusted, he was... flustered?? He acted like she walked in mid-guilty pleasure wet dream. This wasn't a "GROSS THATS INCEST" reaction which is... the most normal reaction to have. That's the face of a man that got CAUGHT bro.
He asks "we're not like that, are we?" and "why are you like this?" and questions the veracity of the vision, but he never actually explicitly denies wanting the vision to happen, more focused on Ashley and her reaction. He buries the elephant under the rug as fast as he can, bc yeah, it struck a landmine, but it probably wasn't a landmine for the reason Ashley thinks it is. I bet the vision just hit a little too close... :P
#the coffin of andy and leyley#coffincest#andrew x ashley#tcoaal#txt post#character analysis#andrew graves#bro is MESSED UP and I'm only scratching the surface#half of this post is analyzing his gf and I'm not even done man I didn't even mention how Julia is both a foil for Ashley and a lookalike#he both chose a girl completely different from her (mfer's compensating) and someone who reminds him of her
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Part 7: In All My Victories
Masterlist - Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 - Part 8 - Part 9 - Part 10 - Part 11 - Part 12
Somebody said you got a new friend (But does she love you better than I can?)
(In which a writer in an EST timezone uses the PST timezone to announce that technically she's still meeting the deadline)
Pairing: Paige Bueckers X Azzi Fudd
Themes: Angst, Fluff, Jealousy
Words: 6.5K
TW: Swearing, Toxic Relationships
A/N: Hello my lovelies! Listen it's past midnight here but it's only around 9 pm in California which is where most of this fic is set so TECHNICALLY I am still meeting my deadline. This chapter is kind of a filler (and I guess that's why I don't love it) because it was gonna be about ~3K longer with another scene but it was either a longer chapter or a Monday chapter and I feel like y'all would prefer a Monday chapter. I have not edited this yet because I simply just don't have the energy to so pretty please point out my errors as you read so I can use them when I edit some time tomorrow. There's probably other stuff I need to say but I'm feeling oddly delirious right now so I'll just end with the usual. Let me know what you liked, what you disliked and what you'd like to see next. Have a lovely rest of your week my loves <3
March 2033
Paige wakes up to a stream of sunlight tapping at her eyelids and someone’s soft breath tickling against her nose. She can feel a tiny hand pressed against her chest -right above her heart- and the weight of another person’s fingers intertwined against her own. The room is silent with the exception of the clock ticking on the wall and the perfectly harmonized breathing of the other people in the room. Stephie and Azzi. And Paige is scared to open her eyes, scared to move even an inch, scared that if she does either of those things, her dreamlike reality will prove to be nothing but a hopeless mirage.
It had taken Paige a moment last night to really register what was happening around her. Dazedly, she had followed Azzi up the stairs into the guest room. She’d watched, albeit unhelpfully, as Azzi had searched out extra pillows, setting up the queen-sized bed so it could fit three people instead of it’s regular duo. It hadn’t sunk in even as Paige had slowly gotten herself ready for bed, finding herself in one of Azzi’s old oversized t-shirts suddenly overwhelmed with how much she’d missed falling asleep embraced in the scent of the younger woman’s favorite lavender and eucalyptus deodorant. Even as she’d made her way back from the bathroom and found Stephie beaming at her from where she was curled into Azzi’s side on bed, Paige still felt like she was simply just watching everything from a facetime call, like she had been while back in Dallas. It wasn’t until Stephie’s bedtime story was finished and the lights were turned off, when Azzi’s hand finally captured hers underneath the comforter and squeezed gently, that it finally clicked for Paige.
Azzi had asked her to stay over.
Azzi had promised she wouldn’t run away.
And as Paige finally lets eyes flutter open, blinking to adjust to the light, she breathes out a sigh of relief at the sight of a promise kept.
Propping herself onto her elbow, she lets herself take in the view of the two people still sound asleep next to her. Paige isn’t a morning person by any means -rarely is she the first person to wake up- but she thinks if this was what she could open her eyes to every time, getting up could become her favorite part of the day.
It’s uncanny how similar Azzi and Stephie are while sleeping. The little girl’s grip on Paige’s shirt is almost as strong as the tight hold her mother has on Paige’s hand. It’s like they’re trying to reel Paige into their world and keep her there forever, like even if she let go, they wouldn’t let her. There’s an air of contentedness on Azzi’s face as she snuggles closer to her daughter and Stephie has a soft smile at being cocooned in the protection of her mother’s arms. And Paige’s whole body aches a little bit because this bed they’re on is definitely not made for three people, but it’s nothing in comparison to the way her heart feels like it might burst from this feeling of and maybe this is how i become whole again.
She presses a kiss against Stephie’s forehead and rubs her thumb against the back of Azzi’s hand before carefully detaching herself from the duo and slipping out of bed. The whole house is still clearly asleep as Paige lethargically brushes and then begins to make her way down the stairs. Her eyes gloss over the pictures placed across the stairwell until they fixate on one that has her in it. It’s an image taken after one of many water fights they’d had at the Fudd household during a hot summer day. Life had been so simple back then when it was water and not bullets that they shot at each other.
Five drenched children are beaming at the camera. Jon and José are posed in some ridiculous stance, their water guns pointed at the camera. Paige, par for the course, is flexing, a far too cocky smirk dancing on her lips because she’d probably won the game (even if nobody else agreed). And then there’s Drew and Azzi. There’s a familiar pang in Paige’s chest as she brushes her fingers over her little brother’s exuberant smile. He’s latched onto the brunette’s back, a blue water balloon in his hand, as Azzi uses one hand on his hip to keep Drew in place and uses her other one to hold a pink water balloon of her own. The Fudds -Azzi- had been as big of a constant in Drew’s life as they had been in Paige’s and she wonders now, as she thinks back to her little brother’s irritation with her joining the Valkyries, if he’d ever forgive her and Azzi for taking that away from him.
“Oh hey good morning,” Tallulah says as Paige lets herself into the kitchen, blanching slightly at the sight of the other woman.
“Good morning,” Paige greets, pouring herself a glass of water as she takes a seat at the island, “guessing you’re making pancakes?”
Tallulah nods with a grin, “Stephie’s orders you know.”
“Ah of course,” Paige laughs, “can’t defy the queen.”
She watches as Tallulah prances around the hardwood floor, grabbing bowls and ingredients, like it’s her kitchen and Paige can’t help the twinge of envy that blooms in her bloodstream. It used to be her. She used to know the Fudd’s kitchen -the whole house- like the back of her hand because really, like Katie always said, it was her home too. But she doesn’t quite know this place, couldn’t tell you where to find the sugar or where the utensils were kept and that stings more than she’d expected. It spirals Paige into the thought that she wouldn’t know any of those things at Azzi’s own house either. And suddenly she’s struck by the reminder that two people who’d once promised to build a world together, had spent the last couple of years, building two separate ones instead.
“Hey,” Tallulah breaks Paige out of her trance, “you good.”
Paige musters up a smile, “yeah- yeah of course. Just- just thinking a lotta things I guess.”
“They’ve all missed you, you know,” Tallulah says softly, “they try not to do it too much around Azzi but it’s always ‘oh Paige would’ve loved this’ or ‘did you catch that bucket Paige made last night’. And whenever the Wings were playing here, it was a no-brainer that they would go.”
“Yeah?” tears prickle against the blonde’s waterline.
“Yeah,” Tallulah confirms, “Tim lowkey lost his mind before you got here last night. Poor man was running all over the place making sure things were good. Katie thought it was pretty hilarious.”
Paige lets out a watery laugh, “that sounds like them-”
“Miss Buecks,” a tiny voice interrupts her before she can say anything and Paige whirls around to see a teary-eyed Stephie looking at her from the last step of the staircase, her bottom lip trembling and panic courses into Paige’s bloodstream
“Stephie,” she practically trips over herself as she rushes to fold the little girl into her arms, “sweetheart what’s wrong?”
Stephie nestles herself into the blonde’s neck, mumbling something incoherent as she holds Paige impossibly tight.
“Stephie,” Paige whispers frantically, concern dripping from her voice, “tell Miss Buecks what’s wrong please. I can’t fix it if you don’t tell me sweetheart.”
“Thought you left,” Stephie confesses finally, keeping her head burrowed against Paige’s shoulder, “you weren’t next to me when I woke up. Got scared.”
“Oh honey,” Paige whispers, as she gently coaxes the little girl’s head out from the crook of her neck so she can cup her face, “I’m right here. I wouldn’t leave without saying goodbye.”
Stephie’s quiet for a second, hiccoughing to herself as she searches for something on Paige’s face before she holds out a pinky, “promise you’ll never leave?”
Paige hesitates, the words sitting heavy on the tip of her tongue. It’s not that she doesn’t want to but Paige has learned first-hand about the fragility of the future, about how true the cliché about time changing in the blink of an eye can be. Because the truth is that it’s not just Azzi who’s scared. Paige is terrified. She’d drowned in this ocean once before and as she tries to swim in it again, she can’t quite find it in herself to shed her life-jacket by making an oath that she can’t guarantee to protect from the dangerous tides of circumstance.
And so she hopes it’s enough for Stephie as she caresses the little girl’s cheeks and says, “I promise I’ll try to stay.”
“Okay,” Stephie says softly and Paige lets out a sigh of relief, “I trust you Miss Buecks.”
Paige smiles, giving the little girl a kiss on the cheek before hoisting her up onto her lap, “did you wake your Mama up?”
“No. She’s still snoring,” Stephie giggles.
Paige laughs, tucking that little tidbit away to tease Azzi with later, “how about you and I go get your Mama her favorite coffee?”
“Oh that’s nice,” Tallulah chirps from where she’s still standing in the kitchen, “go get coffee of course. Why would anyone stay here and help me?”
“Go ask uncle José,” Stephie shoots the younger woman an unamused look, “isn’t that what husbands are for?”
Paige stifles a grin as Tallulah narrows her eyes, waving her whisk menacingly at Stephie, “he’s not my husband yet and you watch it missy or maybe I won’t let you be a flower girl at the wedding.”
“Your wedding would be boring without me,” Stephie scoffs, “besides Aunty Tully, we’ll get you a drink too. Uncle José always says you drink vod-ka, too much of it app-ently, but I don’t know what that is,” she turns to Paige who’s gone bright red in attempt to stop herself from keeling over with laughter, “can we get vod-ka for Aunty Tully?”
Paige tries her best to compose herself, “maybe we’ll just get her a latte and save the vodka for later huh Tulls?”
Tallulah glares at her, flipping her off when Stephie’s gaze shifts towards the door, “just go get the coffee Bueckers.”
***
Not that she didn’t know it before, but Paige quickly realizes just how similar Stephie is to her mother while they’re standing in front of the bakery portion of the coffeeshop and it’s been ten minutes and Stephie still hasn’t decided which sweet treat she’d like.
“Stephie sweetheart,” Paige says, only slightly impatient, “how about the double fudge brownie?”
“That sounds good,” Stephie says excitedly and then her eyes dart towards the cinnamon bun in the corner, “or maybe the ninnamon bun- no wait- Aunty Tully’s gonna put ninnamon in the pancakes so maybe something else. Ooooh maybe a cookie but which one?”
Paige groans to herself as Stephie busies herself looking at the assortment of freshly baked cookies. The old woman over the counter, wearing a name tag saying Ruthie, shares a commiserating smile with her.
“My daughter was like that too at that age. Couldn’t make a decision to save her life,” Ruthie says, a fond look in her eyes while talking about her child.
Paige smiles, “did she ever grow out of it?”
“Well considering we went out to dinner last night and she couldn’t pick between the pepperoni and the sausage, I don’t think they really grow out of it,” Ruthie winks and Paige can’t help but think about Azzi and the way she’d struggled to pick out what to wear to bed last night, staring helplessly between two shirts that practically looked the same.
“Oh I know that look,” Ruthie says, eyes twinkling at the hopeless smile on Paige’s face, as she tilts her head towards Stephie, “you’re thinking about her mother huh?”
“That obvious?” Paige blushes.
Ruthie shrugs, “what is love if it can’t be seen by everyone?”
Love. The word seeps into Paige’s veins, traveling up her bloodstreams until it claws its way into her heart, settling against her ribcage like a rock so that when she breathes, it’s all she can feel. It’s too soon, she knows, and it defeats the purpose of going slow except- it’s not soon at all. Because this isn’t a new feeling, it’s a far too familiar old one that she’d buried as deep within her as possible but is now yearning to get out. It had never gone away, simply lingered in the back of her mind just waiting for this moment. And if she’s honest with herself, Paige doesn’t know if she should fight against it or let herself ride the waves of the before that are desperate to crash against the shore of now.
“Miss Buecks,” Stephie whines, “come help me choose.”
Shooting Ruthie an apologetic look and ignoring the pit in her stomach at the elder woman’s words, Paige walks over and bends down to the little girl’s height, “how about a chocolate chip cookie?”
“Boooooring,” Stephie crinkles her nose.
“Peanut butter?”
“I’m ‘lergic to nuts Miss Buecks,” Stephie says matter-of-factly and Paige pencils that important fact into her mind’s ever growing list of all about Stephie.
“Salted caramel crunch?”
“That sounds good,” Stephie nods, “yeah I’ll get that,” she says as she turns to Ruthie, “could I get a salted car-mel crunch cookie please?” but Paige doesn’t miss the wistful look she sends towards the rest of the cookies.
“Stephie?”
“Yes?”
“Do you want me to get you one of each?”
And she’s absolutely going to get a disapproving glare from Azzi when she shows back up at the Fudd’s with almost a dozen cookies in hand but it’s worth it for the way Stephie immediately latches onto her thigh, a dazzling smile lighting up her whole face.
“You’re best-est-est-est Miss Buecks,” Stephie squeals, staring up at Paige with delight.
“I know,” Paige smirks, “and you better protect me from your Mama when we get back.”
Stephie nods very seriously, “of course Miss Buecks. I’ll protect you with my life.”
Paige ruffles the younger girl's hair before turning to Ruthie who’s grinning at her, “one of every flavor of cookie you have please. Except anything that has nuts.”
“Coming right up,” Ruthie winks at Paige, “your daughter has you wrapped around her little finger huh?”
And maybe Paige should at least attempt to correct the misconception but as Stephie clings to her just a little bit tighter, she can’t find it in herself to say anything but, “yeah, yeah she does.”
***
“Next time you kidnap my daughter, can you at least send me a text?” Azzi says, a grin on her lips as she opens the door to let Paige and Stephie enter back into the Fudd household.
“Good morning Mama,” Stephie says happily, launching herself into her mother’s arms and placing a sloppy kiss against her cheek.
“Morning sunshine,” Azzi laughs, “you seem giddy this morning.”
“Miss Buecks bought me six-teen cookies and she let me eat two of them while we were dri-” Stephie pauses mid ramble, eyes widening as she dramatically slaps a hand over her mouth.
Paige groans as a glare overtakes Azzi’s previously smiling features, “Steph what happened to protecting me?”
“It was an aksy-dent Miss Buecks I’m sorry,” Stephie whimpers, hurriedly cupping her mother’s face, “please don’t be angry at Miss Buecks, Mama. It was my idea.”
Azzi rolls her eyes, “I bet it was. But if you already had two cookies, you must be full? I guess that means no pancakes for you-”
“Miss Buecks forced me to eat the cookies,” Stephie cuts her off and Paige gasps at the betrayal, “not full at all Mama because you can’t get full unless you like what you eat and I didn’t like those cookies at all. So I neeeeeeed pancakes.”
“Traitor,” Paige hisses at the little girl who shrugs sheepishly.
Stephie shoots her an apologetic smile as Azzi hides a grin against her daughter’s hair, “I’m sorry Miss Buecks but I really, really want pancakes. I’ll die if I don’t get pancakes.”
“Okay drama queen,” Azzi chides fondly as she puts Stephie back on the ground, “go get your pancakes,” and then she rounds onto Paige with a patented glare.
“I got you an iced vanilla latte with extra whipped cream,” Paige says before the younger woman can say anything, practically shoving the cold drink into her hand.
“Sixteen cookies? Paige seriously?” Azzi asks, eyebrows raised as she sips at her coffee.
“You didn’t see her Az,” Paige defends, “she looked so sad when she couldn’t decide.”
“Just because she looks sad doesn’t mean you buy her every single cookie to make her happy,” Azzi shakes her head exasperatedly.
“I’d buy her the whole shop if that’s what would make her happy,” Paige says, sincerity weaved throughout every word of the sentence.
“You would, wouldn’t you?” Azzi says softly, a hint of awe in her voice, “you’re kind of a sap Paige Bueckers.”
“Only for you and your daughter Azzi Fudd,” Paige whispers, leaning her head against the younger woman’s temple, “only for the two of you.”
They stand there like that, barely touching beyond their foreheads, yet basking in a certain kind of intimacy that they’ve only ever found with each other. The thing is, Paige’s senses are always heightened, every part of her always alert of what’s going around her. Except when she’s with Azzi. When she’s with Azzi she can let the noise fade to the background and let everything else become a blur and simply just be with Azzi. When she’s with Azzi, she doesn’t have to worry; doesn’t have to have her sword out ready for battle because she knows the younger girl will always be her shield. When she’s with Azzi, Paige is safe.
They’re shaken from their reverie by a cough in the background and Paige reluctantly looks over her shoulder to see Jana regarding them with an amused look.
“Guess I missed a couple of chapters?”
“Shut up,” Paige grinds out, annoyed as Azzi moves out of her space, “what are you doing here so early El-Alfy?”
“I’m here for breakfast because I’m basically an honorary Fudd,” Jana throws her head back before yelling, “RIGHT KATIE?’
“Right Jana,” comes the muffled confirmation from the kitchen as Jana smirks at Paige.
“The better question Bueckers,” the Egyptian prods with a smirk, “is what are you doing here so early?”
“I slept ov-” Paige bites her tongue but it’s too late as Jana’s grin gets wider and next to her, Azzi lets her head drop into her hands.
“You slept over? In which room?” Jana asks innocently.
And of course Stephie chooses exactly that moment to catch wind of the conversation, yelling from the kitchen, “she slept with me and Mama, Aunty J.”
“Thank you for telling me Stephie,” Jana’s eyes twinkle with mirth as she pulls out her phone, “oh I’m about to make some money- hey!”
Azzi snatches the phone out of her younger teammate’s hand, a sweet smile playing on her lips as she starts walking towards the kitchen, “no phones at breakfast thank you!”
“That’s not fair,” Jana whines sauntering after the GSV shooting guard, Paige snickering as she follows the two of them into the kitchen.
“Life’s not fair. Deal with it,” Azzi glares before slipping Jana’s phone into her own pocket, “you can have it back before you leave.”
“Y’all are so mean,” Jana sulks, pouting harder when she reaches out to grab a pancake and immediately has her hand whacked by Tim.
“That one’s for Paige,” the older man warns sternly and Paige sticks her tongue out at her teammate as she grabs the pancake onto her place.
“WHAT?” Jana guffaws, “what’s so special about it?”
Tim shrugs, “absolutely nothing. Just thought it would be funny to see you annoyed.”
“Y’all are the worst adoptive family a player could have you know that?” Jana scolds, pressing her fists to her cheeks like she’s barely older than Stephie, “and to think I was gonna invite the two of you,” she glares at Paige and Azzi, “to a party.”
“Party? Can I come?” Stephie asks excitedly.
“Unfortunately this one’s just for adults kiddo. And it’s not really a party,” Jana explains, “me and Joyce thought it would be nice to do a little team-bonding, especially for you P. Drinks at the bar next weekend?”
“Sounds good,” Paige confirms, “we’ll be there!”
“Oh it’s ‘we’ now is it?” Jana teases, “you guys gonna come together?”
“No,” Azzi says at the same time as a profound “yes” leaves Paige’s mouth. The two of them stare at each other with questioning looks and Paige feels a heavy pit settling in her stomach. Rationally, she knows Azzi’s probably right. No part of going slow includes going to a party with their teammates together, especially not when they’re trying to keep whatever it is they’re doing on the down low. But there’s something about being a secret again, that raises a bitter taste of what killed us then could kill us now in her mouth.
“Awkward,” Jon whistles slowly, only to be met with a simultaneous slap on the back of his head from both his mother and Tallulah.
“I mean- I would have to drop Stephie off here- or umm- at Colleen's so like- logically- practically- uh- it um- it wouldn’t make sense for us to go together,” Azzi says and Paige has to refrain herself from calling it a bullshit explanation.
Instead she gives the younger girl a tight-lipped nod, “right yeah-wouldn’t make sense for us to go together. Obviously,” gritting her teeth and desperate to change the topic, she turns to Jana, “will the whole team be there?”
“A couple of them aren’t currently in the Bay but yeah most of them,” Jana shrugs.
“Oh,” Stephie claps excitedly, “will Aunty Chérie be there? Is she back yet?”
Paige narrows her eyes as both Jana and Azzi exchange looks, “who’s Aunty Chérie?”
“Aunty Chérie’s the best,” Stephie gushes, “she’s really nice and pretty and she calls me ‘mon chérie’,” the little girl does her best attempt at a vaguely french accent and realization starts to claw at Paige’s mind, “so I call her Aunty Chérie. She’s Mama’s best friend on the team.”
Paige tries and fails not to grimace at the sentence; the idea of anyone else being Azzi’s best friend feels like nails being screwed into her skin.
“I’m your Mama’s best friend on the team,” Jana butts in, trying to rescue Azzi from the hole her daughter’s about to dig her into, glancing worriedly between the two former huskies who are doing their best not to look at each other.
“If you say so Aunty J,” Stephie concedes, “but you didn’t answer my question. Is Aunty Chérie back?”
“Yeah she- um Clémence I mean- is coming back for a little bit next week so um-” Jana swallows, clearly not having thought the uncomfortableness of the situation through, “yeah she’ll uh- she’ll probably be there.”
Stephie lets out a whoop of excitement and Paige feels it burn a hole in her stomach. She knows she has no right to be upset at the idea of Stephie being as enamored by another one of Azzi’s teammates but something about it makes her feel queasy inside. Because Clémence Martens isn’t just a teammate. Paige doesn’t know the exact history there; she’d never had the right to ask about it but she’s seen the way Clémence looks at Azzi and she knows she doesn’t like it one bit.
“I thought Clémence was being traded to Atlanta?” Paige keeps her voice low as she leans into Jana. She’s not sure if Stephie knows the news yet and despite the jealousy that’s blooming in every crevice of her body, she doesn’t want to hurt the little girl by accidentally announcing it to her, “why’s she coming?”
Jana sighs, “Joyce invited her cause she was gonna be in town. You know they don’t know about-” the taller woman gestures between Paige and Azzi, “-all of this so. It’s just for one night Paige.”
“Right,” Paige nods, eyes locking with Azzi’s across the table as the younger woman fidgets with the ‘S’ necklace around her neck and shoots Paige a timid attempt at a reassuring smile, “just one night.”
***
August 2028
USA 68 France 64
The entire arena is abuzz for the final 20 seconds of a grueling semi-final match between the storied USA Women’s Basketball team trying to keep their dynasty alive and a vindictive French team eager to avenge their last heartbreaking Olympic loss. France has possession of the ball, shot clock turned off, and Paige has been tasked with guarding Clémence Martens. The woman in front of her, a bench player for the Golden State Valkyries, had never seemed like much of a threat to Paige when they’d met during the W season, but seemed to have become a whole other beast when representing her nation. Clémence is currently leading the French team in assists and is only behind Gabby William in points. Paige keeps herself glued to the woman as she tries to get herself free for the inbound.
The inbounder realizes after a couple of seconds that the French coach’s advice to get Clémence the ball wouldn’t be possible and instead the ball ends up in the hands of Iliana Rupert instead. As gameplay resumes, Paige does exactly as she’s supposed to and she can tell that she’s getting under the French woman’s skin as Clémence curses to herself in her native language. Paige bites back a smirk, secretly pleased at having riled her competitor up. The ball continues to pass around the French players, time ticking away, but the USA’s defense doesn’t allow a good shot until Gabby throws up a miraculous jumper with a second left on the shot clock.
And of course, in a way that’s perhaps too reminiscent of how France had lost in 2024, it goes in.
But it’s not enough and Paige feels blood rush to her ears as the entire arena, decked out in red white and blue, roars with triumph, celebrating the world's greatest team returning back to the finals stage. There’s still one more game but this win is special. They’d been down by 11 points at the half and Paige could almost picture the headlines ready to write themselves about the streaks that could be broken if they lost. But she was no stranger to the pressure that came from playing for a team with a deep history and it had been her and Stewie, partially motivated by their former college head coach frowning at them from the sidelines, that had spear-headed a 23-3 run at the beginning of the 3rd quarter. The USA women’s team hadn’t looked back since and now they were one more step away being golden again.
“You did it,” Olivia screams, running into Paige’s arms as friends and family start to gather on the court, “I’m so proud of you!”
“Thanks Olivia-” Paige is about to say more when the familiar back of someone’s head catches her attention and, like they always seem to when she’s around, all the words die on the tip of her tongue.
Azzi.
Paige could’ve sworn she’d seen the woman in the crowd at some point but she’d chalked it up to a trick of the light manipulating her eyes into seeing what her heart desperately wanted. But as she watches the woman she’d once imagined celebrating all of her victories with, slowly brush away the tears of someone else’s loss, Paige can’t help but wish that it had been a trick of the light after all. She feels suffocated and she can’t tell if it’s from how tight Olivia’s holding her or if it’s because Clémence is burying her head into the space between Azzi’s neck and shoulder, a space that Paige used to mark as hers. And then Azzi looks above Clémence’s shoulder. Dark brown eyes shimmer with unshed tears as they lock onto watery sky blue ones. They’re standing in other people’s arms and they really should look away but how can they when looking into each other’s eyes feels a little bit like finally coming up for air. And Paige realizes that what she’s really being suffocated by is the regret of you’re supposed to be holding me and i’m supposed to be holding you; it was meant to be us.
Azzi lets go of Clémence first, soothingly rubbing the francophone’s back as she makes her way over to congratulate the USA team, starting with Cam and Aliyah. Paige pulls away from Olivia, oblivious to the way annoyance flits across her wife’s features as she catches sight of Azzi. No one but the blonde notices how hesitant Azzi’s steps are, how she carefully pauses a little longer than necessary with everyone else until she finally reaches Paige, managing to give her a small but sincere smile. Olivia wraps a possessive hand around Paige’s bicep and the blonde fights the urge to shake it off when she notices Azzi’s eyes flickering to it for a brief second before coming back up to her face.
“Congratulations Paige,” the formality in Azzi’s voice feels like acid pelting against Paige’s skin, “you were really good tonight.”
“Thank you,” Paige smiles politely, “it was pretty stressful there for a second but I’m glad we got the dub. But it um-” she hesitates, unsure if she should say the next part, “it would’ve been nice if you were out there with me- with us I mean. We could’ve used your shooting.”
“Maybe next time,” Azzi gives her a half-grin.
“Oh I don’t know about that,” Olivia says airily, sharp nails digging a little too roughly into Paige’s skin as her grip tightens further, “there’s plenty of talent up and coming in the next 4 years.”
This is a side of Olivia that Paige is only just beginning to unveil, the side of Olivia that makes snide bitchy comments with a saccharine voice. And Paige really should let it go at this moment, make a mental note to speak with her wife about it later instead of jumping in. But she can see the insecurities brimming in Azzi’s eyes and the words tumble out before Paige can stop them.
“Yeah but no one better than Azzi.”
Olivia stiffens, “right unless she’s injured or pregnant or something. You’re prone to those right?”
“Olivia,” Paige hisses.
“I didn’t mean it offensively,” Olivia feigns innocence and a bitter mix of irritation and anger coils itself around Paige’s ribcage, “just something to think about.”
Azzi’s quiet for a second before a sugary smile, laced with poison, inches itself onto her face, “I’ve only been pregnant once and I haven’t been injured since college which I would expect someone in sports media to know but,” the brunette’s eyes flash dangerously, “I suppose that’s something someone with national media credentials would know, not just a mere local beat writer for Dallas’s fifth most read newspaper,” Azzi turns to Paige, sarcasm morphing into something far more genuine, “congratulations again. I’m really happy for you Paige.”
***
The Reynolds-Bueckers hotel room is a pathetic hot mess that night. Olivia’s livid at Paige and Paige is livid at the stupid #Clézzi tag on tiktok. She’s no stranger to fan edits and she’s definitely no stranger to ship edits and so when the first tiktok appears on her for you page, she knows better than to click on it. She knows better but she does it anyway. And suddenly she finds herself sucked into montage after montage of so-called moments between Clémence and Azzi that fans had noticed and documented. The clips are bad enough themselves but it’s the captions, bold declarations of look at the way she looks at her; no one can love azzi the way clémence loves her, that really piss her off. Clémence might look at Azzi like she’s made of stars but Paige knows that she looks at Azzi like she is the moon, Paige’s moon. As Olivia’s anger bounces off the walls, her rant about disrespect starts to mesh with the audio of the edits that continue to play on the blonde’s phone and Paige wonders if this her God-designed personal hell.
“Are you even fucking listening to me Paige?” Olivia yells, forcing Paige to look up at her wife.
“What do you want me to say Olivia?” Paige asks tiredly.
“What do I want you to say? Well nothing now Paige. She said all of that shit to me and you were silent then so I’m not expecting you to say anything of meaning now either.”
“You’re the one who poked her first-”
“Jesus fucking christ,” Olivia laughs maniacally, “you’re really gonna do this?”
“I’m not doing anything,” Paige protests.
“You’re defending her,” Olivia yells, “you’re my wife and you’re defending her. You’re defending your ex. Can you seriously not see what’s wrong with this picture.”
“Olivia,” Paige sighs, eyes gazing down at her phone where another fuckass Clézzi edit has started to play and she rapidly scrolls past it, “it’s been a long day and I just wanna go to bed. I have practice tomorrow and the gold medal game-”
“Right fucking basketball. Again,” Olivia rolls her eyes.
“What-”
“It’s fine,” Olivia pinches the bridge of her nose, the fight draining from her voice, “you’re right go to bed. I’m not- I’m not feeling great so I’ll sleep out here tonight. Wouldn’t- wouldn’t want you to get sick before the gold medal game.”
“Olivia,” Paige says half-heartedly, taking a timid step towards the woman in front of her.
“It’s fine,” Olivia says, “just- just go to bed Paige.”
Paige knows that the last thing she should do is actually listen to her wife. And she knows that if it was Azzi -she hates herself for even thinking this way- she wouldn’t walk away. If it was Azzi, Paige would’ve pulled her into her arms, held her there and made her talk because they both hated going to bed angry. But well if it was Azzi, this whole situation wouldn’t exist in the first place.
And so she ends up in bed alone, still scrolling through random tiktoks in an effort to not have to deal with all the voices in her head, until suddenly she stumbles on a video captioned and at the end of the day she’ll still always be looking at her. It’s a video taken today. Paige is holding Olivia and Azzi’s holding Clémence but they’re staring at each other. And Paige thinks that whoever wrote the caption, had probably gotten it right. At the end of day, she’ll always look for Azzi. She just doesn’t know if she’ll find her ever again.
***
USA 102 Australia 73
Paige can already taste the feeling of a gold medal around her neck as she takes a seat, the crowd roaring with applause as Coach Lawson empties her bench. There’s only fifteen seconds left in the game and her knees are bouncing in anticipation, ready to celebrate a moment she’s been dreaming of for god knows how long. Paige scans the crowd, not even pretending to look for anyone but Azzi and she can’t help the smile that erupts on her face when she spots the brunette with her fingers crossed, a brilliant grin directed in Paige’s direction as she mouths i’m so proud of you.
Olivia isn’t here, claiming she was too sick to come tonight. Paige thinks she probably should be more upset about that. She thinks the whole thing is probably a ruse that Olivia had concocted to get Paige to beg her to come, to get Paige to show her that she wanted her wife there. The other woman's face had fallen when Paige hadn’t really reacted to the announcement, simply pressed her lips to her forehead and mumbled a feeble hope you feel better before leaving. Paige thinks this is probably the first sign they're falling apart. She thinks she should probably care about that a little bit more too.
But the first thing her eyes had landed on once she’d entered the court, was Azzi’s face in the lower bowl and everything else had ceased to exist. Her first petty thought had been a ha! fuck you to the damned Clézzi shippers who claimed Azzi wouldn’t show up today, too busy consoling Clémence. They didn't know Azzi was all-american. Her second thought, the one that felt like a warm blanket being wrapped around her soul, was that of course Azzi’s here. Because Azzi had been there every time Paige achieved a milestone and even if they were barely a shadow of what they used to be, it's only right that Azzi is still here.
Australia doesn’t even bother taking a shot, bowing out gracefully and the buzzer rings.
The entire arena bursts into confetti and music as the USA Women’s Basketball Team clinches yet another Olympic Gold Medal.
Paige doesn’t know who she’s hugging, lost in a sea of red uniforms as she feels herself floating through her teammates. They end up in a huddle, screaming and she can barely make out who’s saying what but it doesn’t matter. The chaos has never felt so fucking cathartic.
As everyone else disperses to find their families, Paige’s eyes land where they always seem to: on Azzi. And maybe she shouldn’t do it, maybe she should think again but fuck it Paige Bueckers is an olympic gold medalist and she’s going to share this moment with the first person she’d ever won a medal for this country with. Her legs move of their own accord, walking and then running and she breathes out a sigh of relief when she realizes that Azzi’s moving towards her too.
“You did it. Oh my god Paige you did it,” Azzi squeals as they crash into each other in the middle of the court, her arms instinctively going around Paige’s neck as the blonds wraps her hands around Azzi’s waist, “I’m so fucking proud of you. I knew you could do it Paige.”
“I’m so glad you’re here,” Paige breathes out, “I just- it wouldn’t be the same winning without you.”
Azzi’s eyes soften, “I came for you. I don’t know if I’m allowed to say that but- I’m here for you.”
“Good don't want you to be here for anybody else,” Paige tightens her hold on the younger woman’s waist, “we’re gonna do it together next time okay. You and me, we’re gonna be golden together.”
And they both know that they’re saying words they shouldn’t say. That when they break apart from this moment, they’ll have to walk away. But for now, being in each other’s arms is the only thing that feels right, that feels golden.
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confiteor (WILL YOU EVER LOOK UP AGAIN?) — sunday
summary. the bronze melodia is a position that requires weariness, empathy, and patience. unfortunately for sunday, he receives far more than he expects through the voice in the window.
notes. i’m ashamed. this is dedicated to the anon that held me at gunpoint and forced me to post this to tumblr. otherwise, you can read it here.
you can read part 2 here !
warnings. mdni. this is LONGGG it’s about 7k words. religious themes, religious guilt, explicit sexual content, very inappropriate use of a confessional, mild degradation but in a religious way, reader is AFAB i fear and uhh. indecent and guided mutual tug sessions, if you catch my drift.
“Next. Please, step forward.”
Sunday had heard it all before. Timid footsteps, hushed whispers, skin stretching as the person trembled and fidgeted. It was always confronting to sinners, to step close to his voice and absolve.
Nothing truly shocked him anymore. He’d fallen in a state of numbness, in taking this position. A Bronze Melodia, as it was called.
He’d heard murder confessions, perjury, disloyalty, misconduct, everything. He had to grow used to it; this was his job. To forgive, to press his fists into palms beyond the confessors' sight line, and pretend he was as all-forgiving as he appeared to be.
He had learned to hold his voice steady.
Sunday found himself absentmindedly fixing his sleeves, though they already sat perfectly on his wrists.
What he could never predict was whether the person behind the window was here to absolve, or to mock the Aeons. It was always a guessing game for him; perhaps that’s what kept him from straying too far from the path.
The position was tedious, though patience was a virtue of his. He liked to akin himself to an adaptable man, warping his words and honeying his rather monotonous tone to that of reassurance. A false promise of hope, if you will.
He was good at that. Humans were exceedingly predictable in most of their actions; he had learned as such and had tried to drill the knowledge and dangers of the species into his dear sister, too.
Humans were cruel. Robin had never believed him, even in the feats of his struggles as a child, how one of the wings below his ear was mercilessly snapped in an act of child’s play. Child curiosity, it was dubbed as, though to him, it felt more like hatred.
He remembered crying that night, with his right-wing bandaged by his caregiver, and Robin had to remain in his room and sing him to sleep.
Now, it was different.
Quiet shuffles of footsteps were heard. He could tell they were the last recipient remaining, for the muted idle chatter of attendants had faded, and the sun was beginning to set. Members of kinship and the like would return home and sin, and then enter the church begging for forgiveness tomorrow. A never-ending, boorish and lonely cycle.
How shy. He listened to apprehensive slow steps until he heard the click of sharp heels stop just short of the window.
“Come to me, my devotee. I have sought THEIR presence within us.” Sweet words, peppered with powdered sugar poured from his tongue. “Tell me… what ails you such?”
The quiet intake of a breath, sharp and hushed.
Curious, Sunday leaned against the interior wall, just barely closer.
When there was no answer, he added, “do not be afraid. I am here to forgive. I cannot judge you.”
Another harsh inhale.
And then, “I apologise, Reverend.”
“Not at all.” A small, gentle smile pulled onto his lips. You could not see him through the box, and he made sure to stay clear of the iron bars of the window, but he hoped you heard the warmth and comforting sweetness in his tone. “Are you new to the congregation? Your voice is unfamiliar.”
He heard the shuffling of clothes. A pause, and then a wilting, “yes– no, sir.” Another pause, longer than the last. “I have not visited the confessional, but I do sometimes attend service.”
Sunday hummed curiously. “And what has prompted your change of heart?”
He heard the tapping of nails against the exterior of the box, pensive and thoughtful. Rhythmic, like in time to a tune he couldn’t quite place his finger on.
The setting, orange glow of the sunlight, partially tinted a deep bloodied colour through the stained glass windows of the church, crept further through the bars of the confessional as it drew closer to the horizon. The light was warm on the lick of his fingertips that rested close to the frame.
The persistent tap, tap, tap sounded like an agitated display of impatience. Like a song of trepidation and dread, yet much too quick to be sorrowful. Excitement, perhaps?
Then, there was the hard swallow of a lump in their throat. He heard it through the wall.
“I fell in love with a man.”
Their voice, your voice, rang clear as if you were standing next to him without the muffle of the confessional in between his body and yours.
Sunday’s eyes flitted to the wall by his head as if he could see you through the wood.
He said nothing.
Speckles of dust caught in the setting orange sun from the stained glass windows.
“A beautiful man,” you continued softly. “Generous, kind, considerate…” Your voice tapered off like a votive candle flickering in the breeze.
Sunday remained quiet, choosing instead to focus on the soft beating of his heart in his ears, and the sound of your breathing.
There was another ruffle of clothes—a blazer perhaps? It sounded like stiffened cotton or something as luxurious as pure wool. He wondered if such a material could be purchased by someone so common. Wool was a fleeting thought; an easy purchase with the wave of a credit card.
There was a pregnant pause, as if you, too, did not know what to say.
“Is he a bad man?” Sunday inquired encouragingly, still soft and eloquent.
A hiss of an inhale.
“No, not at all.”
Still, nothing.
Sunday watched the wall for a moment, imagining a figure on the other side fidgeting nervously. He could hear the tussle of form-fitted clothes shifting back and forth as if the devotee had been unable to stand still.
“I offer my sincerest apologies,” he started gently. “But I fail to understand any wrongdoings in your confession.” He prompted his voice to remain even. Patience. All in due time. “If he is as truly good a man as you put it, then there is nothing I see to absolve.”
“It’s not him,” you tried. There was a drone in your tone, as if you were trying to defend yourself. “It’s who he is.”
“An unattainable man, I presume? Or, is he perhaps forbidden?” The pressure was light. He was not so much forcing or coaxing words from your throat, but to embolden you instead.
He heard you hum nervously in agreement. He thought it to be a reply to both of his questions.
“Is it his status?”
Another uncomfortable tussle of clothing.
“Yes, sir.” He heard you lean against the confessional through the strain of the wall. “He is a holy man.”
“Ah… a man of the church?”
“I cannot want what I cannot have,” you dwelled softly. “I know the answer is to let go, but it has been months, and I have grown worse.”
Sunday hummed. Quite the predicament indeed. Such a precious scenario, though. Somebody ordinary in love with the unordinary. So sweet, like fruit growing on a tree in a sacred garden.
The tragedy of unattainable romance was fleeting for the congregation. Even Robin, his dear sister, a truly devoted romantic at heart, could never commit herself to a person. To worship another, and to take eyes from Xipe, would be worth a painful, slow and torturous death unlike no other.
Grotesque and twisted, like the many priests before him, who had been slashed and severed for their transgressions.
To turn your back on The Family–
He willed the thoughts away.
“I do hear you. I pray for your struggles.” His gloves pressed to the window. “But, it is not unreasonable, nor a defiance of the Holy, to be in love with a man of the church.”
“That’s the thing. It’s beyond love, Reverend,” you said, hoarse and strained, like you’d raked a hand down your jugular. “It’s everything.”
The shift of clothes again. This time, a hand brushed against a zipper, though there was no tug at the clip. He listened attentively, like a song he’d never heard before.
The stretch of clothes around skin, the glimpse of an expensive leather shoe from the corner of his eye, and attire inappropriate for the church. Exposed legs, too much skin, a low neckline of a shirt. Patterned stockings following black embroidered flowers and thorny stems travelled up bare legs like serpents.
“I want to ruin him.”
There it was.
“I want it so he thinks no more of the Aeon he worships, and only of me.”
His lips only barely parted at what he was hearing. A startled quiet breath escaped him.
He heard the skin of your knuckles pull taught into fists. They tapped against the wood.
“But it’s wrong of me to think this way, so I humbly request your blessings, Reverend, even if I–” You paused. Sunday flinched when a hand pressed against the iron bars, dreadfully close to the feathered wings beneath his ears. “There’s something bad inside of me. I need your help.”
Never had he heard something like this. A sinner be so outwardly humble and honest in their speech; to admit that you were wrong. To admit that your behaviour was treacherous and ghastly.
And to pine after a man of worship and unbreaking devotion.
To defy the Lord. To fight teachings, to fight him and his words. A stubbornness like no other, and one so incredibly shameful and distasteful, and yet, you still carried a weight of guilt heavy on your chest.
Another shudder of a breath. Another pitiful, desperate noise. All to receive his good graces.
“I don’t ask for forgiveness anymore. I don’t think I even deserve your blessings, sire. I don’t think anybody does.” Maybe he would agree with you, and maybe he wouldn’t. Instead, he leaned against the wall and stared up towards the ceiling of the confessional. “I only ask to hear your voice.”
Sunday’s breath hitched at the suspicious sound of a zipper being tugged, roaming hands, far too purposeful in their placement. He didn’t wish to imagine where your fingers travelled.
Instead, he squeezed his eyes shut.
“If you have convinced yourself that nothing can be done, then why would you seek me?” he asked, a waver in his tone. His ear pressed to the wall again, cold against his warm skin. “…If you think you cannot be absolved, then I am unable to help you.”
“I want relief,” was all you said. You pressed against the confessional. “Blessed Reverend, I want you to relieve me.”
Sunday was at a loss for words. He was listening attentively again.
You did not ask for forgiveness, peaceful solitude, or punishment. He did not understand what you were referring to specifically, choosing instead to pull delicately at the tips of his gloves. They suddenly felt constricting, like they’d grown a size too small for his hands.
Usually, he’d refrain from mindless fiddling and fidgeting. Something was different now.
Something warm ran from the pit of his stomach up to his neck.
It was vile. Like a serpent’s tongue following the rigid bone of his spine towards the nape of his neck. Warm and forked, like a pitchfork wielded in the hands of the irreverent.
The slimy body of the snake would twist and coil around his neck, squeezing the delicate flesh, marring it, coercing more sweet honey from his tongue until you were writhing.
The localised swelling heat curling in his stomach burned hotter when your breathing faltered and strayed from its natural rhythm.
It faltered too immorally to be mistaken for a simple hitch, or an error in your presentation. It was not a reflection of apprehension, nor fear.
It was–
“Would you be honest with me?” Sunday asked gently. His trembling hands curled into fists, still pressed against the wall and out of view of the window. “I only ask one answer of you.”
“Of course.” Strained, weak, unsure. Another pathetic attempt of an even breath left your lips. The aroma of something rich and sweet wavered through the bars of the window. “Anything for you.”
How depraved. Indecent, perverse. Your tone was repulsive, and so incredibly honest.
He heard the sound of something slippery, like the swallowing of spit in your mouth, or perhaps something far far more obscene.
He was tempted to move closer, to bite at the hand that fed him.
Your devotion was corrupt, focused solely on the sound of his breathing from inside the confessional. You were not here for redemption.
The box grew warm with his shaken breaths.
“Then, pray tell…” His temple rested against the interior of the confessional, and something hot and vile stirred in his stomach, like fiery pits of devastation. Like claws from a being unforeseen by Aeons above. “Are your hands between your thighs?”
You let out a stuttered gasp.
Sunday closed his eyes and tried to control his shaken breathing. His perfectly fitted clothes suddenly felt too tight, too restricting, every crease and fold tattering and ruined heating skin.
He swallowed thickly, wings barely catching on the window of the confessional.
“I’m not–” Your hands abandoned their position and pressed to the window, the diagonal frames digging into your soft flesh. The pad of your longest finger shimmered in the setting sunlight. “–I’m wrong. There’s something wrong with me.”
His gloved nails dug into his thighs. The dove white trousers stretched with the pressure.
He could not see you fully, no, for if he could, he was afraid he’d throw the door open, drag you into his lap and satisfy that burning ache that ricocheted in his stomach.
“To think of you this way,” you continued meekly. “It’s disgusting and vile and I need you to help me.”
He had to agree with you, though his fingers pressed just shy of the borders of the window. He almost grabbed your hand and dragged his tongue up your finger.
He felt the same. Hot and sticky, clothes clinging to him like they’d been doused in glue. The feeling pressed into his burning skin like a fragrance of saffron and black peppers.
That seductively enticing aroma of your perfume that lingered through the gaps in the windows. Honey and dessert, and the salty smell of your sweat. He did not eat sweets anymore; that sweet tooth was long left to dust and decay, and yet his mouth watered.
He felt as though he was being tempted to bite into something that held dire consequences.
Desperate to relieve the burning below his skin, Sunday unbuttoned his blazer. “Do you wish to be absolved?”
“I–” He heard you shuffle. The telltale swish of cloth. The click of heels. You’d dressed up for him, even if he couldn’t see you, and you couldn’t see him. Even your painted nails he peered at; a dark navy blue, like the wings at his waist that stretched in relief when he freed them from the confines of his jacket. “I don’t deserve it.”
“So, why did you come?” he asked. The larger, navy blue wings were much too big for the small perimeter of the confessional, but anything was better than to feel as restricted as he was.
His gloved hands pressed to the window now.
He wanted to touch you.
God, no. He couldn’t think like this.
He wanted his fingerprints branded into your skin, to stain every inch of your flesh like cigarette burns, forever marring the perfection.
“To relieve myself.”
Sunday smiled, and it was pained. You heard it in his tone. “How honest.” His temple pressed onto the cool wooden box again, leaning as close as he could to your voice. “Aren’t you ashamed?”
His forehead pressed to the wood beside the window, out of view. The orange rays of the sun setting outside licked upon his fingertips that curled over the iron bars. The warmth felt cold.
“Very,” was all you said.
Sunday fought the urge to moan, pressing his teeth into his tongue and hissing at the pain.
This was wrong.
He couldn’t stop himself.
“Go on, then. One hand. Relieve yourself.”
He heard a muffled sigh of relief. Perhaps you, too, had pressed yourself against the exterior of the confessional. The only thing parting you from his body was a thin slide of wood.
A sacred sanctuary that you would reform from pure selfishness.
One of the hands on the window abandoned its firm grip around the frames, and he heard a quiet gasp.
It was quickly cut off.
“Let me hear you,” Sunday whispered through the window. A gloved hand raked down the side of the window, and his head knocked against the corner of the confessional. His halo suddenly felt like a crown of thorns, weighted and punishing.
He would indulge.
If you were here to ruin him, then he would indulge.
He heard a wet squelch that made him shiver. His other hand had absentmindedly crawled up his thigh, trembling to remain flat on the seat. The skin below his trousers was pulled taught and had grown sensitive.
You moaned, and it was so close to his ear that his spine snapped straight. His fingers brushed over his straining cock beneath his belt.
The awful, awful, yet so beautiful sounds that tore from your throat left him reeling for more. For his mind to fill in the blanks, squeezing his eyes shut tight until even the light from the window was shunned out of his eyelids.
“Slow your hand,” he whispered. “Enjoy yourself properly.”
The squelching slowed significantly after only a moment of hesitation. He heard you continuously pant like a helpless mutt, confused, perhaps frustrated, too.
The other hand still curled as tight as it could around the iron diagonal bars of the window shook with reckless abandon.
Debauch sin felt good. Like a drug. Like alcohol washing down his throat and filling his stomach. So, so good, like the slide of his hand up his shirt. His other hand, much less secure, fumbled with the golden buckle of his belt.
He wondered if you felt the same. “How will you sleep tonight?”
“I won’t,” you whispered hoarsely. He was sure your appearance was something to match the rasp of your voice. “I will toss and turn.”
As will he. He’ll lay on his side, tangled between freshly washed white sheets and feathered pillows, and touch himself. He knows it so. He feels the strain of his palm tracing along the hot skin, thumbing the beading slit while he thinks of your perfume.
His cock twitched in the confines of his pants when the heel of his palm knocked against his tip. So hot, and so difficult to breathe. This box was not made to entertain whores, nor himself.
Sunday managed to unbuckle his belt. The leather straps smack against the side of the box.
You’re so wet. He can hear you through the confessional, and a dreamy sigh escapes his nose.
“How many fingers are inside of you?” He couldn’t quite tell. His hands curled into fists.
“Just one, sire.”
Sunday huffed, thumbing the button of his trousers around his waist. The claws in the pit of his stomach had returned, scratching and marring the inner walls and slicing through the bubbles of acid, desperate to be set free. It hurt.
He could imagine how you felt. He could imagine everything; the rhythmic sound of a single finger sliding in and out of the pretty wet hole between your legs. Pressing your body against the exterior of the box, desperate to feel the cold wood against your burning skin.
Your finger being hugged tight inside of you, pressing and dragging along sensitive nerves deep near your womb.
He was a mess.
Hair frazzled, halo dimming and fading when the light angled into the box just right, wings twitching, battling a game of whether he was to wrap them around himself or spread out as wide as they could.
You must’ve heard the zip of his fly undone, for you gasped, and your finger sped up accordingly. That same wet squishing of your poor poor limbs trying to accommodate how shameful you’d become.
His teeth caught on the tip of his glove and pulled the material off. The white cotton fell to the floor uselessly.
“You must be so lonely,” you said to him through the window. “So deprived.” He felt the fanning of warm breath against his ear. “I can fix that.”
Sunday, attentively listening with glowing cheeks, slowly freed his cock from his pants. A sigh slipped past his wet lips.
A different sound echoed from between your legs, and you groaned as close to his ear as you could.
“I want to hear you, Reverend.”
His hand dragged up his cock and he moaned. It was a shameful display of sincerity, and he wished he had bit his tongue again. Instead, he panted against the wood of the confessional, and muttered, “touch yourself.”
A wet noise that made his hips shift forward into his hand told him your finger had abandoned your insides, instead dragging up to play with that precious bundle of nerves.
He heard the stretch of skin, the shift of whatever clothes you had kept on yourself, and what you had thrown to the side. You were leaning against the box; your scent was stronger, that perfume and something sweeter, mixed with the salt and sweat of your skin.
He only hoped your thighs were as parted as his were. One of the sides of his knees knocked gently against the wall of the confessional.
So wrong. So shameful, so blasphemous, to do this, to please you and please himself to the thought of you, and then exit the church as if it had never happened. As if he wasn’t trapped fucking his palm like a mutt in heat, unable to control the panting and the incessant whispers of groans that escaped his lips.
Cum beaded at his slit, sticky and dribbling down to the base of his tip.
He wanted nothing more than to heave the door open, taste the slick that ran down your legs, and then bend you over the nearby podium and–
“So wet,” he murmured through the window. The only response you formed was a whimper. “So shameless. Do you feel guilty?”
“O-of course,” you tried. It was pathetic between the hot coiling in your stomach, like a deadly serpent curling around its prey and squeezing. “Do you?”
Sunday tried to imagine a hot tongue cleaning the mess of his cock, tracing the cum pooling at the base and flattening against his tip, angling just right to press into his slit flushed an angry scarlet, like wine and blood.
He could imagine ruining you for any other man. To slam his hips up against yours, to drag the head of his cock along those plush velvety insides until you were sobbing, struggling to accommodate him. He imagined you’d be perfect.
If only he could do all of those things without repercussions.
Tracing the swollen veins of his cock while you played with yourself with wet fingers was already too far. He could foresee punishment on his behalf and yours. Perhaps death, though neither of you deserved such luxury.
He did not answer.
Instead, he asked, “will you return?” His voice was shaky at best, and filthy at worst.
There was a hopeful twinge to his tone. He prayed you did not hear it.
You hesitated. There was a waver in your tone. “I shouldn’t.”
Your voice sent his mind reeling. He was thumbing at his slit while his thighs trembled. When his palm was coated in enough of his cum, he continued dragging his hand up and down the head of his cock.
He was growing dizzy. “But?”
“But I will.”
“This shouldn’t happen again,” Sunday heaved. His hand grew desperate, wetter, and the urge to pull the door of the confessional off its hinges and take you on the floor and away from the stained glass windows where the sun peered through was filling his senses. He yearned to know what you felt like squeezing around him. “You should not let this happen again.”
“I need you, Reverend,” you confessed. “If I am honest, my sins will be atoned for. As will yours.”
“You will not touch me tonight, and I will not touch you.” It was final. Without room for argument, though he sounded somewhat disappointed.
“But what about tomorrow night?”
Sunday breathed against the wood, tugging at his collar and rolling his hips into his hand. “If you return, I will punish you for it.”
“You tempt me, Reverend,” you said through a moan. “I will think of you tonight.” Your fingers had returned to your hole. He’d recognised the noise, somehow more obscene than it had been before.
His cock ached with hatred. How you would feel dripping down him like an unsatiated whore, trying so desperately to ask for his forgiveness, to try and seduce Godhood.
He hoped you felt empty. He hoped you hungered for his cock through the wall, breathing erratic and loud as his palm dragged along the length of hot skin over and over again.
Ecstasy filled his throat and every vein in his body. Goodness, the edge was glorious. He pilfered off the side for a moment before he stopped his hand.
His cock twitched in agony and he let out a groan that tapered off.
“Don’t you dare cum,” he snapped through the box.
You whined, but your hand obediently stilled
“I would imagine you’re filthy now.” He pressed his forehead to the cool wood. The surface heated up along with his skin almost instantly. It was so hot here. “Use your fingers again.”
“How many?”
So obedient. He almost purred at your behaviour. “Two.”
Oh, he spoiled you. That familiar sound again, so wet and warm and inviting, and you were moaning and shivering around your own hand. He could imagine slippery slick pooling along your palm now, lathering your fingers like a thin paste.
His own fingers found the flushed swollen tip of his cock again. It twitched in his palm. There was a greedy puddle of cum forming at the base of his cock now, and he quickly wiped drool from his lip.
Already frazzled from the orgasm he’d denied just mere minutes ago, your breathing grew louder and louder, though not alarming enough.
“Touch yourself again,” he rasped out. His halo was now a liability, too ironic. His wings were cramped against the interior walls, desperate to be let out. Wet fingers rubbed along his tip in rhythm with the sound of your own moving against yourself, drawing wet slippery rings around that adorable swollen bundle of nerves between your legs.
He hopes you struggle to cum tonight without his guidance. It’s a fleeting thought, but it makes his thighs lock and freeze against the seat.
He hopes you never find any satisfaction in another man. Wouldn’t that be a spectacle? A mindless bumbling whore stumbling after a High Priest, another Bronze Melodia.
You were murmuring his name now in a never ending chant of prayer.
Saliva caught in his throat as he breathed.
“Rub that pretty clit harder, will you?” Still in tune with your second hand that had finally pulled off of the bars to trace around the rim of your hole. He tried his best to keep up with the noise, eyes still wound shut.
You were hopeless. Struggling at the ministrations like a squirming worm caught on a hook. Your knuckles knocked against the confessional before your fingers slid into yourself.
This was heaven.
He knew it so, no matter how wrong it felt. It was a feeling, not the real thing; never the real thing. Not after tonight, but he could live with himself, if he ended up buried inside of you.
His tip bubbled and drooled at the thought of it.
You taught him self indulgence. And as sinful as it was, as wicked as it felt to buck his hips into his own palm, slick with need and sweat and dribbles of saliva that had fallen from his lips, he loved every pull of his skin.
Oh, it was awful. And it was so good. So treacherous, so disgustingly unholy, so blasphemous and insulting to do this in the very place he’d learned to be sacrificial and sanctified. Where he’d sit on the confessional with a heavy halo and a light heart and try to feel for the heathen on the other side of the window.
Spills of moans and moans left your lips, fingers working at that pace he had commanded of you. Your palms must have been soaked in your own slick now, the delicate flesh between your legs swollen and dark with blood.
He wanted to touch you.
It took everything at this point to keep the door shut. Like a woman being tempted by a serpent to bite into a forbidden fruit off of a large tree. He was sure you would have also indulged, had he offered you a slice of the fruit.
“I’m–” You couldn’t finish the sentence. The wood of the box groaned beneath the shared weight. “I need to–”
Oh. The scent was delicious. The hissing of a snake in his ears, the watchful eyes of a nightingale from somewhere far away, the taste of a sweet fruit running along his tongue.
He hoped you returned.
“Go on. Isn’t that what you came for?” He dared to say more, but instead bit down on his lip.
You bit down first on the fruit.
You came much more broken than he would have expected, and his hands paused around his cock to listen to that gorgeous melody. The drawn out whine came out more as a sob, fingers still drawing tight and hard circles around your clit as your hole clenched around weakened fingers.
Such a beautiful noise. You sounded as though you were struggling through wet heaves, filthy soaked fleshed between your thighs, skin tattered in sweat and bathed in the sunlight just barely peeking above the horizon from out of the window.
You whispered his name like a prayer. A pitiful drone, as if you’d become fully aware of your transgressions.
Wet fingers returned to the window.
His hot breath cooled the slick stuck to your skin, but Sunday kept his tongue pulled behind his teeth. Did you feel empty? Did you want more? Did you also want to pull open the door to the confessional and take him in the seat?
Your voice was weak. “Sire…”
Your tone rippled beneath his skin. His face was on fire. His hand sped up.
“How close are you?”
A whine ripped from his throat. “So close.”
He heard you breathe a hoarse laugh and his feathers raised behind his ears, and it was still one of the most ethereal tunes he’d ever had the honour to listen to.
His wrist grew tired, but he pressed on, thumbing at the overtly sensitive tip and his bubbling slit that wept in tandem. He watched your fingers against the window closely, imagining the heat of your flesh curled around his cock instead.
His cock twitched and twitched in his palm, and his hips raised off the seat for a moment.
Sunday heard you swallow. A hum rumbled in your throat, low and pretty.
He was sure you could hear how slick he was. It was humiliating how hard he’d grown just from the sound of you.
The wings below his ears were crushed against the wooden wall. The bones ached, but he ignored everything in favour of the sound of your breathing so close to his ear.
The sun had now drowned below the horizon.
“Cum, sir.” What a pretty plea. Your fingers tightened around the bars of the window. “Please.”
Sunday gasped, his own knuckles pulling back and knocking the other wall of the confessional as his hips twitched and twitched and he squirmed and his cock felt as though it was going to burst.
He came then, almost weeping as his teeth sunk into his sore knuckles. The sharp vertices of his halo felt weightless and warm, and his shirt felt just as constricting as it had before he’d come undone.
It was like fire oozing from him. Cum dribbled from his tip and painted his palms impossibly stickier than before. What fell from his hands pooled into a puddle on the seat and he grimaced.
An angry and raw garble escaped his throat at your words; who were you to do this to him? How could you do this to him—his cock twitched again, this time violently, as if aching for another round. His palm pressed heavy to his tip, still flushed that beautiful scarlet, and fattened with blood, experimentally giving it another drag along his palm.
Sunday’s hips jutted forward into his hand again. A discomforting chill ran up his spine and remained at the nape of his neck.
Viciously, he tore his hand away from his cock, staring at his sullied hand as if it had betrayed him. Maybe it had, you see, for he had no foresight his body would succumb to such temptations.
His body should not have succumbed. He should not have succumbed.
This was beyond his teachings; cardinal sin and disloyalty to Xipe, whom he praised every night with withering and wavering hands.
And now they were tainted.
“Just a taste, Reverend.”
Sunday’s spine stiffened as if a hot metal rod had replaced the bone.
His skin ached and his teeth vibrated with disgust. Sacrilege. That’s what it was. Vengeful and spiteful, much unlike sweetened delectable fruits off of a tree in the Garden of Eden. This should not have happened. You shouldn’t have ever come here.
He had an inkling of a feeling, as fleeting and dull as it was, that you did not feel guilty for your actions.
His teeth gritted, and his jaw ached in accordance.
Wretched thing.
Sunday, disgusted in his actions, ignoring the beads of sweat pooling down his neck like pearls, held out the degloved hand tainted in his cum through the gap in the window.
A tongue curled around his fingers, hot and heavy, and dragged up from the tip of his nails to his knuckles.
He resisted the urge to make a noise, instead catching his tongue in his teeth and biting down enough to draw blood.
His cock was swelling with blood again, tip flushed and leaking once more. He refused to touch himself again. He had already ruined the tranquillity of the church. He had already ruined you.
Sunday’s fingers twitched in your mouth before they dragged down your tongue.
When he was sure you were done, and his hand was covered in your spit, he grabbed your chin and drew you as close to the window as he could.
There, he managed to catch a glimpse of your face.
Sweaty, mangled, ruined, and so imperfect that his cheeks fill with blood at the sight of you. Your image is ruined by the light from the still burning votive candles from the completed service hours ago that shines behind you, branding the crown of your head like a halo.
Sunday assumed he looked worse.
“You will speak of this to no one,” he rasped. “Not ever.”
“No, sir,” you whispered. There was an impervious grin stretched into your lips. “It’ll be our little secret.”
“The second I hear wind that you’ve been sharing this night with those undeserving, I’ll rip your tongue from your filthy throat.”
You exhaled shakily. There were stars in your eyes.
Sunday’s eyes narrowed, and his lips pressed into a thin line.
“Of course.”
He let go of your chin and tossed you as far as he could backwards through the window of the confessional. You teetered, wobbly in your position of kneeling, before you briskly stood up.
He couldn’t bear the sight of bare legs, so he looked away and shrunk down into the corner of the box, out of view of the sunlight, and the barred window.
Sunday did catch a glimpse of those expensive shoes. Too expensive, too fancy for a church setting. Your clothes were the same, too form fitting to be dubbed appropriate in such a sacred place.
How could you appease to THEM if you were dressed to seduce their messengers?
He said nothing, did nothing, silently wallowing in pitiful hatred as white hot pin pricks of one thousand needles formed behind his eyes. His wings curled around his waist.
He let out a breath that caught in his throat.
“Goodnight, Reverend,” was all you murmured to him.
Your fingers retreated from the window.
Sunday attentively listened to the sound of your footsteps. He hoped he could be forgiven for this. He watched the ceiling with disdain.
When he heard you leave, and the telltale slam of the door shutting behind you, he retracted his hand still coated in your saliva and thumbed at the tip of his cock.
Your spit slid so easily against him.
He shuddered, and then he moaned. It echoed along the walls.
Silently praying for forgiveness, and covering his eyes with his other hand in the process, he drowned once more in solitude.
#sunday x you#sunday x reader#hsr x reader#honkai star rail x reader#✦ ( after hours. )#✦ ( the macrocosmos. )
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take a seat (m)
Pairing: chan x afab!reader Genre: smut Word count: 2.9k tags: house mates au, couch sex, spitting, thigh riding, fingering, oral (fem. receiving) Summary: Who knew your favorite seat would someone else’s lap, let alone Lee Chan of all people. author note: hi. yall don't know how hype i am to see all of dino variety appearances, not only that. i am so proud of how far he's come. i only can say this was all him. finally his merit is being shown and appreciated. this is all so amazing. what an great time to be alive.
Tag: @shiningstar-byulxx @misssugarlips @tommolex @hoeforhao @homerunhansol @dkakapizzaboy @junhui-recs @svtup @buffhoshi @meowmeowminnie @caratochan @lovebot4han @6969lilithcat @camisun93 @emmmui @toruro @jeonride @novalpha @nvmrljk @feat-sun @tinkerbell460 @aaniag @tacosandbitch
It was the dead of night, long hours past hours of dusk and you were hitting the liquid fire too carelessly. You were starting to see things not clearly and started seeing people that you wouldn’t otherwise think about look more breathtaking than the rest. Every sway, every gaze, every lock of hair. He moved with both precision and ease, so effortlessly perfect in every light that hit him.
He even had you bewitched, probably the last person that would’ve ever thought these things about him. He’s charming—no doubt about it—but young and bright wasn’t your type. Lee Chan had to be the youngest and brightest. You knew one day you’d drown that brightness until that light would turn dim. That’s what you’ve always said, now you could feel your dribble coming from both ends.
You picked up remnants from your mouth with the back of your hand, your eyes not once led astray away from his body that moved like shadows. Your legs stayed clamped together, twisting and turning in your seat. ‘Maybe it was the alcohol’, you thought, but that churn in your stomach and that shiver down your spine made it undeniable. Every time his eyes went as far as lingering in your direction, you’d flicker your gaze elsewhere in fear of being caught. You were ninety-seven percent sober at this point, and that mindset hadn’t changed.
“Okay, let’s wrap it up! 2 am. Time to get going. Uber everyone!” Seungcheol rounded up all his friends, pulling his phone out of his pocket to grab a ride.
You stood off to the side, silently observing as most of your friends tried animatedly convincing Seungcheol that the night was still young. He was still in your sight, so crazy mesmerizing that it made you claw up your own thigh. Your feet tapped anxiously against the concrete, pretending to think about anything else, and soon enough an SUV with a big logo on the windshield.
“Get in, children!”
“Wait,” you stopped them in their tracks, “there’s only enough for four extra people. We have five.”
Seungcheol shrugged, “I figured we could squeeze, or have someone sit on someone else’s lap.”
“We’re five fully grown adults,” Wonwoo interjected matter-of-factly, “There’s no squeezing. Any volunteers?”
You sighed, “I guess I will, since I’m a last minute addition tonight.”
“Alright, Chan will be the sacrificial lamb.”
The rest of your friends stared back at the young man expectedly, a puzzled expression on his face. “Uh, sure. No problem with me.”
You offered him an awkward smile before mouthing ‘sorry,’ to which he nodded, giving you silent reassurance that all was okay.
Everyone else made themselves comfortable and you made do with the painfully awkward situation, feeling Chan’s smooth and toned legs as you sat down. Like heaven underneath you, you almost melted into the durability of his thighs, nearly audibly moaning upon contact. You shifted your weight in his lap cautiously, attempting to find a less than comfortable position with no signs of success, having you internally curse to yourself. Like you were doing to your sanity, you gripped the bar above the car door to keep still, shallow breaths escaping your lungs. You glanced back at him apologetically; (1) for practically using him like a chair, (2) for enjoying it immensely.
“Am I heavy? I am, aren't I?”
He shook his head reassuringly, kindness in his eyes. “You’re fine. Don’t worry about it.”
One fast run over a speed bump and the lack of a seat belt caused a bounce against your fleshy seat. Chan instinctively found purchase around your waist, guiding you back to his lap safely as he locked his arms around you like an automatic safety net. His groan rose the hairs on your arms and the sensation of his toned chest hitting your back in his embrace made you swallow back audibly pleasure.
“Chan,” you softly moaned, sounding more sexually charged than you intended.
“Still good,” he repeated in a rasp, a subtle but noticeable flush on his cheeks. “Nothing I didn’t expect.”
Your other housemates chuckled like silent observers, keeping to themselves. The eldest passenger of all cleared his throat before making his announcement. “Sit tight, guys. We’re almost back at the sharehouse.”
No sworn word of Seungcheol could drop your elevated heart rate. Every passing minute you couldn’t stop thinking about how you were held for all those two seconds, feeling the pool of your heat dampen the thin fabric of your underwear. You avoided his eyes the rest of the trip, ignoring the burning churn in your stomach.
You couldn’t run out of that car fast enough when you reached the sharehouse lot. Your heart pumping out of your chest, you were ready to absolve all unchaste sensations to save face by locking yourself in your room for as long as you could. The others were quick to follow behind and you heard their footsteps a beat after yours up the stairs.
“Hey wait!”
Chan’s voice at the end of the hall could stop you from swinging your door for it to shut, sparing you a moment of peace. That moment didn’t last all that long before there was a knock on the other side of the door. Through the wood, you can hear the heavy panting of a man who ran too many flights of stairs too quickly to get there, you know because you were hyperventilating the same way getting away from him.
“You ran…so fast…barely caught up.”
You softly cleared your own throat, taking your time to speak through the door. “Sorry, Chan,” you croaked. “Really tired. Couldn’t wait to knock out. Maybe I can help you out with whatever you need tomorrow?”
“Oh, nothing like that. You ran away—I mean off—so quickly you dropped your wallet in the car.”
“Oh. Okay, uh.” You opened the door, viewing his relieved smile stretched across his cheeks. “Thanks, Chan.”
He handed it to you, his gentle touch slipped past yours and the sensation tensed against your skin. “No problem. Oh hey, are you coming to the event tomorrow too? Should be fun.”
You shook your head. “Oh, no. I mean tonight was great, but I’m probably just gonna recharge tomorrow.”
He nodded agreeably. “Ok. Sounds good.”
“Mmh,” you lingered at the door a moment too long, unsure of what to say next. “Well, good night, Chan.”
He politely smiled. “Good night.”
The door closed, shutting out the outside world, peace—finally—in its wake. That’s what you thought anyway.
The reality was that the following day took forever to come when you could hardly sleep, finding it in you only when the sun was an hour from rising. Most of the morning was spent in bed, listening to the rustle behind the very thin walls.
It was still the weekend but somehow the other people you lived with managed to keep themselves busy, probably because it was that much closer to Halloween. Even leaving your room, you see the house full of festivities from fake skeletons and sticky spiderwebs. They were nice to look at but not something you found a reason to go out for.
And for once, it looks like you aren’t alone. You weren’t sure if that was a good or a bad thing yet.
“You didn’t go to the party?” you plainly pointed out.
Chan shrugged from down the stairs, flaunting his Ironman tee shirt and sweatpants. “Thought it wouldn’t be as fun without you.”
“Yeah,” You smiled amused coming down the steps, “because I’m the life of the party, right?”
He chuckled, complexion somehow glossy and radiant in the darkness of the stairwell. “Those guys can be a lot and you’re chill. It’s a nice change of pace.”
The silence in the house was deafening. Had it been any other day before yesterday, this would’ve been fine—civil even—but the back of your head told you things. Things you wanted to do him from front to back, head to toe, sideways, all of the above. Chan had this vice grip on you that escape didn't even seem like an option.
“So we’re just like, the only people at the sharehouse right now?”
“That alright?”
“…sure.”
You ended up sharing the common room together, pretending as if inner demons wasn’t grinding your gears. The first thirty minutes went up in silence and silent chuckles while Halloween Town played, a healthy distance in between you both. Even if you didn’t celebrate the holiday that much, you enjoyed the movies.
“On a scale of one to ten, how much of a better time are you having than yesterday?”
You waved your hands defensively, laughing. “It’s not like that.”
He scoffed, watching you from his peripheral. “You were sitting at the bar all night just watching. You must’ve been bored.”
“I had fun, it’s just…staying home is nice sometimes. Not so suffocating.”
“Like that car ride, maybe?”
You let out quiet laughs, crossing your arms. “Ha. A little bit Kind of a bumpy ride.”
He looked for signs of any discomfort, memories of the night prior flashing in his head including the weight of your body against his. “If I startled you last night, sorry.”
“No, not at all. Your lap is actually comfortable.” The realization hit you like a bus and suddenly you had flying saucers for eyes.
He smiled at your expression, pressing it into a thin line to suppress the laughter threatening to erupt. “Really? I’ll keep that in mind.”
“I didn’t—I slipped. You kept me from flying out of my seat and out the window, you know? I just say dumb shit. Ignore it.”
“Noted, but since you said it…having you sit in my lap was an experience I didn’t think I’d enjoy as much as I did.”
You stared at him for a while, a thousand and one things running through your mind, one being the theory that he didn’t seem to hate what he was put through either.
“You can go ahead and ignore that if you want.”
Then your hand landed on his, wrapping around his digits as you lifted off the couch and in front of him. He quietly watched you turn around with your back towards his and slowly drop into his lap. You familiarized yourself with their warmth, your legs softly parted to embrace both his sides. Turning your head, you met eyes in sultry ponder, anticipating his reaction.
“Like that?” You asked, feigning innocence.
He gazed up at you in soft wonder, lightly shifting in his seat and pressing his back into the couch. “Yeah…just like that.”
You hummed contentedly, stabling yourself against furniture. Naturally, desire took a form inside you and you found yourself putting your full weight against him, causing the tension of his muscles. “It’s a lot more comfortable than yesterday actually. Maybe because I can—“you coughed before you let the words leave your lips.
“Feel me through my pants?” He finished cheekily.
You softly chuckled. “No comment.”
He matched your smile, teeth finding the flesh of his bottom lip and biting until he tasted metal. He cursed under his breath, hands finding purchase on your hips and ingraining your shape in every wrinkle of his brain. His moans vibrated against your skin, garnering every ounce of power in him to take things slow. These were the kinds of things meant to be savored.
Your body then moved like waves, crashing into him like a brewing storm. Your legs clamped around one of his thighs, rolling your heat at the girth of his leg and admiring the sensation of it flexing underneath you. Chan let out soft grunts, quietly expelling air through his nose. You mused back at him. “You like that? That feel good?”
He only moaned in response, to which you smiled. You let your back connect with his chest, grinding down his lap as the print of his cock hugged between your cheeks. “You’re so big, Chan…”
His hands ran over your thighs, finding the hem of your shorts before his fingers delicately hovered over your clothed arousal. He felt your breath hitch and he pressed a single digit before he dragged it through your covered folds. You moaned loudly in his ear—the TV not standing a chance of drowning it out—while your breath burned his skin and pebbled his skin. You spread your legs to give him more real estate, noticing already how the fluid layered on your inner thighs.
“I can feel how wet you are,” he purred, “how do you feel about taking these off?”
You swallowed. “Yes, please…”
He helped to lay you bare, touching you as his hips dug into the plush flesh of your ass. He only grew bigger under your touch all while you grew wet under his. Body and sweat fusing into one, your chest heaved as Chan’s fingers circled around your slit, squeezing clit between two digits.
Then he stopped himself, a thought popping ingeniously in his head, and he brought his hand up to your face, “Spit in my hand.”
You looked back at it hesitantly, seeing the film of your remnants on every single finger. Nonetheless, you did as he requested, noting the size of the splatter. His hand went down to find you again, rubbing the moisture in until you were coated all over. His fingers hooked inside and stretched your walls to split you open. He made room to plunge deeper between your molten walls at a practiced pace. You mewled like a feral animal, coming apart with your legs occasionally elevating off him in defeat.
Your legs hooked on either side of his thighs, shaking. You felt his breath on your neck, teeth grazing the skin, voice indicating his focus on your pleasure and how it came to fruition. You were transfixed on his moment, seconds away from cumming, and you weren’t afraid to let him know. “I’m gonna, Mmh, Chan, I’m gonna cum…”
“Do it,” he breathed, shuddering, “I wanna feel you cum in my hand.”
You cried when it happened, falling back against him to the point he held your thighs against your chest. He slapped the back of your thigh every time you jumped, oh well, his fingers jackhammered you into submission. You bucked around them, squirming for release and Chan’s encouragement was more than enough motivation. “Cum for me, hmm…”
Your face grew hot, your legs weak as they bounced in his grip. You clenched around his fingers, stuttering your hips as your vision of light turned into shooting stars. “Yes, yes, shit!”
Chan pulled out of you to look at their milky sheen, practically dripping liquid gold before they entered his mouth. His tongue swept over every finger, sucking them like milk from a bottle. He pushed them in knuckles deep and noticeably his eyes rolled back in his skull in response. His moans deepened into praises, licking every drop until they were nearly squeaky clean. He glazed over you in contempt, mischief on his lips before smiling sweetly as if not a dark thought in his mind, although that was far from the truth.
“Bend over for me.”
You blinked back at him in a daze. “Huh?”
He pushed you until your hands reached the ground and he buried his face between your cheeks. His tongue lapping up your climax, the hug of your flesh around his face bringing him to enlightenment. That time you screamed, screamed loud enough that if anyone were here at home they’d hear but no it was just the two of you, so you screamed louder. Your hand planted against the wood boards, buzzing, moaning as you felt the wetness from his tongue circle around your folds to then taste what was in between.
He sounded hungry. As If he hadn’t been let out of his cage until now. His hands spread you apart, the full length of his tongue fucking you stupid until you could taste ecstasy on your own tongue.
“The prettiest fucking pussy…” he sucked out every last drop as his thumb rubbed against your swollen clit, “I’ve ever fucking seen…”
Your heart was going at a million beats a minute. You felt tied to a post flinching in and out as he rutted you with his mouth. Sweat beading your already clammy body. Drool and cum running down your thighs. You convulsed around his tongue as tears brimmed in your eyes. “Chan, ngh, too much—fuck, you’re gonna make me explode—“
“Can’t,” he said between breaths. His fingerprints stained your flesh, gripping you so hard that he could see the marks he made into your flesh as he took you in rapid and needy strokes. “So good…you taste so fucking good…”
You whined helplessly, lifting your face from the ground. “Chan—oh fuck—please...”
Having you claw at the floor it wasn’t until he made you cum again that he’d stop, feeling you pulse around his tongue. A hearty moan escaped him tasting your climax in real time, savoring the release until what’s inside of his mouth was painted a solid white.
He came up to the surface with half his face covered in your arousal like a gold medal for the clean plate club, licking away whatever remained on his lips. He pulled you back up against him, resting against the sound drumming of his chest.
You took his clean hand, locking yours through it. You kissed his cheek, briefly tasting your salty tang. He glanced back at you, a soft gentle smile on his face before connecting your lips for the first time, the familiar taste now pungent and enticing from his lips. “You felt and tasted,” he added bashfully, laughing, “incredible. I hope you’re not too tired, I’d really like to know how it feels you riding me with my cock inside you.”
“We can have that arranged.”
#svthub#dino smut#seventeen smut#dino#lee Chan#seventeen#lee chan smut#seventeen x reader#seventeen x y/n#seventeen x you#dino x reader#dino x you#dino x y/n#seventeen fanfic#seventeen dino#svt x reader#svt x you#svt x y/n
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Enemies 2 Friends to Something More
Summary: When a girl in his class corrects him, Ford decides that he will go through any lengths to one her up like she seems to do so often to him. Tw: Slight NSFW [Would anyone even read NSFW work of him?]
Linktree 4 the People of Palestine
Ford had never been corrected before, because he's never been wrong. So, when he was sitting in class one day and had gone to answer a question, only for a h/c haired girl to correct him. Ford wasn't necessarily mad, more so confused, because he thought he was right. Though, when he went back and checked his numbers, he realized the girl was right. That was fine. Sometimes people were wrong and he's at college to learn, so maybe it's good that there's someone with the same level as intelligence as him.
But then... It happened again. It was a little more embarrassing for it to happen again, but he tried not to think to much about it. That was UNTIL it happened for a third time. That time he was annoyed.
He looked back at you as you smirked down at him. You took joy in his embarrassment, that's what he believed, and it bugged him to his very core. He had to get you back. He wasn't sure how, but he would.
---
Ford stayed up late last night, having finally crafted the perfect question that he knew would stump you. Instead of bringing it up in class, he wanted to talk to you personally, because the question was made for you, no one else.
So, after class, Ford made sure to call you back, having learned your name from his roommate, Fiddleford.
"Y/n!"
You looked back at the sound of your name to; Only to be surprised when seeing it was Stanford Pines.
"Stanford?"
"Call me Ford."
You sigh, looking him up and down. "Okay, F-o-r-d," You stretch out the letters of his name. "What is it you want?"
"Can I not talk to a fellow classmate?"
"Oh, Ford, don't be silly. I know you want something. I see how angry you get when you get something wrong. You clearly want something from me."
He holds his ands up in surrender. "You caught me. I actually... wanted to discuss a-" He tsks. "theory- Question if you will. If you're willing to occupy my company."
"I do like intelligent conversation and you're the most intelligent guy here, so I guess I can give you some time."
He smirks, happy that the trap had been set.
---
He pulls out multiple papers, putting them on the table, before looking up at you. You looked at him confused why he would have so many papers.
He goes on and on about the theory of life and what the purpose of all living things are. While you were confused on the topic, since he wasn't asking for your opinion, you were amazed by his passion on the topic. It seemed he wanted to prove something to you- Prove that he was a genius.
It wasn't like you didn't know that. Everyone that knew Ford or interacted with him knew he was genius, so you were confused why he felt the need to prove it to you.
You thought he was kind of cute. Going on and on. You kind of wanted to fuck him. Your face turned a light pink when the thought entered your mind.
"What do you think?"
"What?" You were caught off guard, since your mind was occupied.
"About life."
"I- uh, never really think about that stuff?"
"You have no opinions about it?"
"Uh, I mean, you've said every thought that I have." You lean in, a stupid smile overtaking your face.
"Yeah?" Ford's face turned a light pink when having your face close to his. He could almost kiss you... Almost... He wanted to- I mean, he admired how intelligent you were, and he felt you were one of the only people he could have a real conversation with without dumbing himself down. He would have kissed you if a book wasn't slammed down at the end of the table, causing Ford to glare at the person, Fiddleford.
"Sorry, am I interrupting something?"
You sit back in your seat and smile, "No. Uh, no. I was going to go anyway. I'm sure my roommate is waiting for me." You turn to Ford, "I'll see you... later?"
"Yeah. I'll see you."
---
Ford stared at his ceiling, his alarm clock the only light in the room. He couldn't keep his mind off of you. He wished he had kissed you or something. It would have been the perfect moment. So, why didn't he?
He could feel his body heat up as his thoughts got more intense. He pulled one of his pillows out from under him, before slamming it against his face, hoping to rid himself of the thoughts. God, how was he supposed to see you again knowing what he felt?
#ford pines x reader#ford pines#gravity falls#gravity falls x reader#disney x reader#ford x reader#enemies to lovers#female reader
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Future🍂
Summary: Daryl’s the only one that’s ever made you feel loved so when you get separated during the apocalypse you feel lost without him
Pairing: Daryl Dixon x f!reader
•Masterlist•
Daryl was there for me growing up and I was there for him, when his dad acted out on him I was there to hold him through the night, when a guy would break my heart he’d do everything he could to cheer me up, we were inseparable, so we saved money and bought a little house in the woods together, it was peaceful everything was just settling for us, eventually he asked me to be his girl and it was the happiest day of my life
Then came the apocalypse, thankfully I was with him when everything happened and he took me to the quarry away from the town staying far away from big crowds, we shared a tent and I’d grip him tight at night scared that if I closed my eyes he’d be gone in the morning or something would happen and he’d turn into a walker
Eventually we made it to the farm, life seems like it can be good here, there’s water, land to grow crops, chickens and livestock, even after everything that’s happened including Daryl’s accident I’ve felt a sense of calm for once
“Hey sunshine ya doin okay?” Daryl asked as he sat next to me around the low burning fire as he handed me a plate of bacon and eggs
“Oh yeah I’m fine just thinking about how we use to live, remember all the plans I had for our home, all the recipes I wanted to make, all the trips I wanted to experience with you, a family…….” I said the last part under my breath but the man had the ears of a bat
“Ya wanted a family…..with me?” He asked a bit of shock laced in his voice
“Of course D why would I, have a little girl running around with crazy dark hair like yours, seeing you play with her, maybe getting a dog you like, I just had so much more for us, but I’m still grateful that we were able to escaped together”
“Maybe one day we can still have that, ya never know sunshine, I wish I coulda given ya more”
“You give me plenty Daryl”
Everything was happening so quickly one minute the barns on fire the next there are walkers swarming the farm, I tried to get to Daryl but I got cornered by walkers having to run into the woods, my heart was beating so fast that was all I could hear, running for what seemed like hours till the sun started to rise, eventually I couldn’t hear anymore groans and moans of walkers, I slumped against a tree exhausted when I realized I’m in the middle of nowhere with no idea how to get back or where to even start looking for Daryl
That heavy feeling gripped my heart voiding me of any emotion but despair, I walked and walked and walked down the long winding road heading South, making stops for any supplies left at random houses or stores I came by, 2 months into be on the road I became sick, not being able to keep anything down, exhausted more from the long days of walking, coming to realize I was pregnant, it gave me a little bit of hope knowing that if I truly never found Daryl again atleast I’d have a part of him still
The months dragged on until my belly was plump with a little Dixon, luckily I found a house unscathed from seekers, the food stocked high which made sure I was malnourished during this pregnancy, I loaded up a car with the groceries and drove, everything worked for a few months, I am guessing I’m about 7 months now and the food was running low and the gas was running out, slowly my car came to a halt, I got out feeling the Georgia heat when I heard running water, I ventured into the trees with my canteen finding a a small man made waterfall, I filled the canteen when I heard shots, looking forward over a hill I see a prison, people walking around, I was secure no walker inside, distracted I didn’t notice where I was stepping and stepped right onto a nail on the train tracks making my fall and bust my eyebrow open, my knees ached and my hands were bloody, I pulled my self up screaming when I ripped my foot off the nail, the scream alerted near by walkers until they swarmed around me, I was scared and weak, this couldn’t be how I go I still haven’t found Daryl and I had to protect this baby
I gathered as much strength as possible running towards the prison gates, praying they would take me in and help just for today, I made it to the gates exhausted with a trail of walkers behind me when a woman with dreads appeared at the gates
“Please let me in I need help….please I’m begging” I cried holding my belly seeing her eyes soften as she noticed my baby bump, she yanked open the gates right in time to let me in and shut it on the walkers
“Come on hun let’s get you cleaned up” she smiled leading me up to the prison, we almost made it inside when I heard the familiar grumble of the bike I use to ride on all the time, late at night when everyone in town was asleep Daryl would take me out roaming around
I turned my heart leaping every second that passed, until I knew for sure it was him, and it was I could recognize that hair anywhere, he parked the bike and looked around till his eyes landed on me, and he did something I’ve never seen him do before, he dropped to his knees crying
I wobbled over to him still in pain but I didn’t care, I dropped gently to my knees infront of him holding his face in my hands
“I can’t believe I found you Daryl, it’s really you” I weeped as took me shoulders and held me tight against his chest
“I looked for ya everywhere I swear I never gave up, that day when ya weren’t with anyone after the farm it felt like my life was over, but I knew ya were still out there, god I love ya”
“I love you too Daryl, so much”
“Sorry to interrupt this beautiful moment but your girl need some medical attention” that’s when Daryl noticed my busted eyebrow and all the blood over me
He picked me up in his arms bringing me inside to Hershel
“The hell happened to ya angel?” He asked as Hershel attended to my wounds
“I stepped on a nail and fell in just glad I didn’t land on the baby”
“Baby?” Daryl face drained of color standing there frozen
“You didn’t notice? I’m pregnant D” I said flattening down my shirt to make my belly more prominent
“I guess I was just to stunned”
“You seem a lot more healthier than the Lori, how did you manage?” Hershel asked as Daryl came to sit by me squeezing my hand, something he did when he was anxious
“I found a fully stocked house, only just ran out of food today”
“I’d say you’re pretty lucky lil lady, now I’ll give you two some space”
Daryl looked at me with such love mixed with worry
“I can’t believe yer pregnant and it’s mine?” He asked gently rubbing the bump feeling the baby kick
“Of course it’s yours D, you know I’ve only ever been with you, I’ll only ever want you”
“I’ll keep ya both safe, I’ll give ya that dream life ya wanted fer us, I promise”
“I just need you Daryl, I just want you”
#twd fanfiction#twd daryl#daryl dixion imagine#twd x reader#daryl dixon#twd fluff#daryl dixon x reader#twd negan#twd rick#daryl dixon twd#daryl dixion smut#daryl x reader#daryl imagines#daryl fanfiction#daryl dixon smut#the walking dead daryl#daryl x female reader#daryl dixon x you#daryl dixon x y/n
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Letting Someone Go - Part 5 (The End!)
Benny Cross X Female Reader part 1 is here! part 2 is here! part 3 is here! part 4 is here! A/n: ahhh it's always so hard to write a satisfying ending. i rlly hope you enjoy it, and i want to thank everyone for reading this series!! i am officially taking Bikeriders requests, so if this story got your mind thinking about what other Benny/Vandals boys content you'd like, feel free to send it my way! Word Count: 3683 Warnings: none for this chapter
You woke up the next morning with a split lip, a black eye, and a hangover. Before even opening your eyes, you knew you were back at Zipco’s house based on the strong Patchouli-incense-over-bourbon smell. Not on the lumpy couch though - you were in his bed. You opened one eye and instantly regretted it: the world started to spin and you barely managed to grab at the wastebasket someone had left by the bedside before you emptied your stomach. You wretched until there was nothing left to come up, just bile and bloody spit. Unwilling to test your vertigo by standing up and walking down the hall to the bathroom, you called out for Zipco in a watery-thin rasp.
“Zip?”
Silence. It seemed like the house was empty. Zipco was many things, but a quiet housemate was not among them. Wherever he went, he was slamming doors, knocking furniture, thumping on the rickety floorboards.
“Zip ain’t here.”
The voice startled you and you whipped your head around - another immediate regret, as it renewed your nausea. Benny was sitting in a chair in the corner of the room, smoking a cigarette and watching you closely. He must have slept here, you realized, as you took in the wrinkled tshirt stained with your mascara and blood and his mussed hair.
“Where’s Zip?” you groaned, shutting your eyes in a vain attempt to stop the spinning.
Benny stood up and walked out of the bedroom as he called back to you. “He took Kathy home. I asked him to stay with her for the night, keep an eye on things.”
Kathy. Last night. The memory of that awful night came back to you hard and with a vengeance. You whimpered, pressing your face down on the pillow as if you could blot it out. From down the hall, you heard the sound of Benny rummaging around in the kitchen for a few moments. You willed yourself to focus on that noise and breathe deeply through your nose and out through your mouth.
You felt the mattress give under his weight as he came back and perched on the edge of the bed. “Here.” He handed you a bag of ice, coaxing you to lift your head and place the ice against your swollen lip. He brushed back strands of your hair out of your face with a tenderness you’d never seen from him before.
“Thank you,” you croaked, voice cracking. “For last night. Helping me. For everything.”
He nodded softly and offered you a cup of water. “Try to drink it,” he encouraged. You obeyed, wincing at the bad taste in your mouth and the soreness in your throat as you swallowed. The water settled in your stomach with a cooling rush, and it helped lessen your headache marginally. Benny just kept sitting there, fussing over you like a nursemaid. It was achingly touching, but surprising and strangely intimate. After a few moments, you cleared your throat and forced yourself to sit upright, moving slowly and deliberately so as not to set off the spins again. He helped you prop yourself up against the headboard, one of Zip’s pillows tucked at the small of your back.
“How’s Kathy?” Why you asked that question was anyone’s guess. You were grasping at straws, overwhelmed by Benny’s presence and his assiduous attention to you. You couldn’t care less how Kathy was doing, and you knew you were risking the moment between you two - whatever it was - by bringing her up.
Predictably, Benny’s face crumpled from concern to something harder. He held your gaze with a wary seriousness. “You really wanna know how my wife is right now?”
Wife.
You pursed your lips - bad move, you felt the split open up and fresh blood coat your tongue - and looked down at the water glass in your hand so he couldn’t see the tears in your eyes. You hadn’t known Kathy was that to him. You’d never really considered the possibility. Four years is a hell of a long time, a reprimanding voice in your head reminded you. What did you expect?
Why didn’t the guys tell you? A flash of anger at Zipco and Cal and Johnny flared in your chest. It was irrational, you knew, and a displacement of your real pain. The anger fizzled out as quickly as it had come up, leaving you alone with a sinking grief.
Benny must have noticed your reaction. “You didn’t know.” Not a question, an observation. One he must have suspected because you heard the sound of confirmation in his voice. His words didn’t sound unkind, although there was an edge of pity there that you hated. Unable to meet his eyes, you simply shook your head.
“I figured one of the guys told you.”
“Yea, I would’ve figured that too.”
You ran a finger along the lip of the water glass. Anything for a distraction. A thick silence that threatened to bloom into something permanent settled between you.
“Congrats,” you managed with a small, bitter laugh. “How long?”
Benny turned away from you, bracing his hands on his knees and looking at the wall. “Y/n, don’t do this.”
“Do what?” you demanded, embarrassment staining your cheeks. Not only had he just dropped this hundred pound disappointment on you, but now he expected you not to struggle with its weight?
“Hurt yourself,” he replied sadly, turning back to you. His eyes drank you in and caused your breath to tangle in your throat. Once again, you couldn’t hold his gaze, and let your eyes drop to your hands. You knocked that one set of your knuckles were scraped and bruised, and a snippet of memory - men dragging you up a stairwell, you thrashing against them and screaming out for help - smacked you like a freight train. The sob that bubbled in your lungs refused to be stifled.
At the sound of it, Benny stiffened. “I’m sorry. I should’ve left. I just wanted to make sure you were alright. I’ll go, send Zip back over.”
You looked back up at him and found you could look through him. Talking to the wall behind Benny, you felt your mouth moving as words came pouring out before you fully knew what you wanted to say. “Aight then, Benny, you best get your stuff and get out, then.”
It was the exact same line you’d said to him four years ago when he’d made you tell yourself that he was in love with someone else. Unlike then, this time your words dripped with poison.
He flinched slightly at your words, and you figured that was about as much as you could hope for. Benny Cross was many things, but he would never be the kind of guy who would collapse for a woman. Especially not one that he didn’t love.
For a heartbeat or two, he looked at you while you looked through him. It was a test. Who would break first. Both of you knew the answer. Benny was incapable of breaking. You’d been craving that from him for too long and had been disappointed too many times before to delude yourself now. Benny was going to leave, exactly like you’d told him to. He wasn’t going to argue, or apologize, or ask why you were angry, or stubbornly ignore your dismissal in an attempt to get through to you. He was going to leave because that’s what he did. Although not with Kathy, that vicious inner voice reminded you. Just you.
Right on cue, Benny broke eye contact, hesitating momentarily before standing up from the edge of the bed. Your eyes followed him as he walked over to the chair he’d been sitting in, picked up his leather jacket and threw it on over his shoulders. The icy shell around your heart threatened to thaw as the realization that this might be the last moment you ever saw him overtook you.
He moved to leave without looking back to you, although he did stop at the door.
“Why’d you come back?” he asked, his voice low and full of something approaching emotion.
“For Brucie’s funeral,” you replied robotically.
You both knew it was a lie. Benny waited, turning slightly so his body was angled towards you, but still not looking up at you.
“What do you want me to say, Benny? That I came back for you? That I stayed away for so long because of you? You already know all that shit.”
He fidgeted with his leather riding gloves methodically, tucking them into the sleeves of his jacket. You’d never known Benny to care about stuff like that. You had the fleeting thought that he was stalling against what you both sensed would be your last goodbye.
“I’m sorry,” he mumbled heavily. “I’m sorry for everything.”
And with that, Benny vanished once again from your life, leaving behind that all too familiar ache like a gaping hole in your chest.
***********************
Benny was riding back to Kathy’s apartment when he realized that he didn’t want to. The last thing he wanted was to get an earful from Kathy, although he knew precisely that’s what was waiting for him. An earful for getting involved in another fight over the club, for getting involved with you, and for leaving her behind. He deserved it, but he didn’t want it.
He also didn’t want to turn around and back towards the girl he’d just left, with her face busted up and her spirit broken. All because she’d come back hoping for something from him. All she was going to get was disappointment. That’s all Benny had for anybody else. He’d disappointed Kathy by not being a good husband. He’d disappointed Johnny by not being a good Vandal, not being willing to take over the charter. And he’d disappointed y/n simply by not being good. Most of all, Benny was his own biggest disappointment. He realized, sitting on the back of his bike idling at a light that had long ago turned from red to green, that he wasn’t sure what he’d imagined for his life, but it sure as hell wasn’t this. It wasn’t watching the people around you get hurt, time and time again, all behind your own failures.
So, instead of turning left on 53rd St. to head home, Benny kept going straight on 55th until it linked up with Rte 34 in Naperville. He gassed up in Wyanet and didn’t stop until he hit the Nebraska line. Benny rode west until he got tired of staring at sunsets, and then turned north, meandering up into colder country.
Epilogue
At first, the running theory about what happened was that one of the guys from the night before had found Benny, somehow, on the way back from Zipco’s place and jumped him. Beat the shit out of him, took his bike, dumped him on the side of a road somewhere. Maybe even killed him. But, as weeks turned into months without any news and without a body, a different understanding took hold: Benny Cross had simply left.
Kathy stuck around but drifted steadily further away from the MC. She stopped showing up to Junker’s on Friday nights, stopped hanging out at the Vandals’ house parties, stopped asking Johnny if he’d heard from Benny. You saw her a few times in the years after Benny left, usually at the laundromat or the corner store, somewhere neutral. She never acknowledged you, and you figured that was probably the smart thing to do. There weren’t any words the two of you could exchange that would do anything for either of you. Better just to let sleeping dogs lie. At some point, you saw Kathy Cross for the last time, although you didn’t know it would be the last. Word reached the MC that she’d met some wealthy Cincinnati lawyer in a pop shop and had moved in with him a few weeks later, into some swanky highrise overlooking the Ohio River. You had a suspicion that Kathy’s days of logging time on the back of a bike were over.
While Kathy exited the Vandals’ scene, you found yourself quickly at the center of the club. You and Zipco decided after a few months that you made great friends, but shit roommates. You moved into your own place a few blocks down from Junker’s and opened a body shop for bikes with the money your daddy left you in the will. Your first employee was Cal, and your first customer was Johnny. From that day forward, the Vandals MC kept your business buzzing and your books balanced. You named the shop Cross Roads Bikes. Customers who didn’t know you asked why “cross roads” was two separate words; usually, you just told them that you’d been drunk when you filled out the business license application and had put a space in there by accident. Customers who knew you didn’t need to ask what happened.
In spite of that, somewhere along the way you woke up one day and realized that this was the closest you’d been to happy in a long long time, maybe ever. It struck you as strange, because since the day you’d met him, you’d only seen happiness as part of your future if Benny was in it. Yet, here you were: happy (ish) and Benny-less. Funny how the world works.
You didn’t know why Benny took off or where he’d gone, but you did know one thing: Benny broke three hearts the day he left McCook. Johnny took Benny’s absence harder than the woman who married him and the woman who loved him. Johnny changed the day Benny left. He seemed to age two days for every one that passed. His laughter dried up and his leadership got sour. Between Cal, Zipco, and a few of the other old guard, the Vandals held themselves together, but everyone could see that the winds of change were brewing, and the MC was on the edge of a permanent change. All that was left to do was to hold your breath and wait.
You were with Johnny Davis the day he died. You remembered the way that young kid had shot him, point blank, in some old abandoned parking lot on the western edge of town. All the light was gone from Johnny’s eyes by the time you reached him. The Vandals you knew died with him in that weedy parking lot that night.
Zipco left about a month later for Texas. He sent you a few postcards, called you a couple times. After a while, there wasn’t anything left to say. You never stopped sending him his favorite bottle of bourbon at Christmas. Every once in a while, a customer would come in from out of town and tell you that your shop was personally recommended to them by a drunk, grouchy old Latvian who worked on a shrimping boat outside of Corpus Christi.
One by one, the new Vandals stopped coming into your shop for their repairs and tune-ups. That was fine with you. You didn’t recognize any of the newcomers, and you doubted they recognized you, apart from vague memories of seeing you drinking and laughing in Junker’s next to the guys that they considered to be the past. Cross Roads Bikes was about four years old at that point, and you’d built enough of a non-MC customer base to survive the turnover. The day Cal came in and told you he’d turned in his patch and was planning to head back out to California, you knew that your last tie with the club had been cut. In some ways, it was relieving, in other ways, terrifying. You and Cal got shitfaced together that night and told old war stories about all the guys you’d known and lost. You cried like a baby when, two weeks later, you were standing on the sidewalk, watching Cal’s taillight fade into the Illinois dark as he headed out to the West Coast for the next chapter of his life.
Much to your surprise, it was Sheila and Becky, Johnny’s widow, who became your new club. They took to bringing you sandwiches at the shop and sitting on the counter with you for lunch breaks, telling the did you hear? kind of stories that bond people with a loose circle of mutual acquaintances together. It was easy and fun and all three of you seemed to know that this was it. If you all let yourselves drift away, who was going to tell stories about the guys you’d all known? About the Vandals’ early days, the glory days? You three were all that was left. Ironic, you thought. A men’s club, survived by three women.
Your life fell into a pattern. Productive, purposeful, content with little stains of sadness at the edges. But mostly, a good life. You were happy, and getting used to it every day. At some point, your life became predictable.
That’s why, one crisp fall morning as you stumbled out of bed at 6:00am to the waiting pot of Zipco-strong coffee and the stack of yesterday’s mail on the counter, the last thing you were expecting to see was the outline of a man sitting on your front porch steps. The black leather jacket with an original Vandals patch on the back, the Harley parked across the street, the tousled blonde hair. It was a ghost of a memory.
You opened the front door a crack and looked down on the profile of Benny Cross. He was looking up at the neon Cross Roads Bike sign that Johnny and the rest of the club had gifted to you for your one-year anniversary at the shop. When he looked up at you with those same old blue eyes, it was like stepping into a dream.
“Hey.”
You closed the door behind you, offering him your mug of coffee as you wrapped your robe around you against the chill. “Hey.”
He scooched over to make room for you to join him. You did, tucking your knees up against your chest for warmth. The cold concrete of your porch steps bit into your backside.
“Looks good,” Benny commented softly, gesturing up at the Cross Roads sign. The text was superimposed over an image of a motorcycle - an all-black 1965 Harley Electra-Glide, to be exact. The same bike that happened to be sitting across the street from you, where Benny had parked it.
“Yea, yea,” you agreed gently, looking up at the sign with a sad smile. “Hope you don’t mind, I stole your bike. And your name.”
When you looked back at Benny, a half-smirk was spreading across his face. He looked the same, although you could see that the road had been riding him just as much as the other way around. You knew that life.
The two of you sat in silence for a while, sharing the same cup of coffee and a cigarette, letting the sun rise above the rooftops across the street. It was a comfortable, companionable quiet. It was the first time since you’d met Benny that you didn’t have the burning desire to try and put your feelings into words. After almost ten years of your heart orbiting his, you realized in the cold November morning that you had finally learned how to let him go. It was a bittersweet feeling, and you knew you’d never be able to put it into words, even if you tried. So the two of you were quiet together.
When the city began to wake up around you and the demands of another day couldn’t be ignored any longer, you rose from your seat - cursing the way the cold made your hips stiff - and offered him a hand to help him up. He took it, thick calluses on his palm from years of riding. He stood up, still tall enough to tower over you, his jacket thick with the smell of the road - leather, diesel fuel, sweat, and cigarettes.
“How long you in town for?” you asked as you held the door open for him behind you. He followed you in, kicking off his dirty boots at the door.
“Not sure,” he replied with a note of nervousness. “Depends on how long you’ll let me stay.”
You smiled to yourself, your back turned to him as you refilled your coffee mug and poured a fresh one for him.
“I got plenty of room, and plenty of work for ya, Benny. Long as you promise that you won’t leave without sayin’ goodbye this time.” He accepted the coffee in your outstretched hand with a heartbreakers’ smile.
“Funny you mention it. I hadn’t planned on leavin’ this time.” He looked at you with a question in his eyes. You weren’t entirely sure what the question was. Do you forgive me? Is this ok? Are you alright? Did you miss me?
Whatever he was asking, your answer was yes. A very simple word, and easily one you could have said. But, just like moments before, you found that words just wouldn’t suffice, even such a simple one.
So you crossed the kitchen, dropping your coffee mug and letting it splinter into pieces on the tile floor, splashing hot coffee on your ankles, and wrapped your arms around him. Benny’s mouth tasted exactly how you remembered, and when he folded his arms around you, you swore your feet no longer touched the ground. He was warm and strong against you, and for every question he pressed through that kiss into your lips, you answered with an enthusiastic yes.
As you floated away into the sky towards what you’d heard others call “cloud nine” from your kitchen, the rest of the words of that old poem came drifting back to you:
Of all the things that can create, love is the one I most appreciate.
One thing I’ve come to know, nothing kills you slower than letting someone go.
But I will also tell you this, coming back to life can happen in the space of a single kiss.
***********************
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I took one for the team and retraumatized myself by reading Sylus' myth again, specifically to understand the memory, Abyssal Blossom, since... there is a bit of confusion about what it means, and I made a reference to it in this post. I'll be covering the event leading up to the memory and the aftermath.
@unluckywisher @lavlynyan I have some distressing news 😔😔😔
SPOILERS FOR SYLUS' MYTH - BEYOND CLOUDFALL, CHAPTERS 6-8 + ABYSSAL BLOSSOM MEMORY
[Quick recap of end of chapter 6] Sylus had been injured by MC after succumbing to his instincts and attacking her in The Sanctuary, causing her to act in self-defense and unwittingly summoning the greatsword. They're both horrified by their actions, and as soldiers arrive, MC hides Sylus from them. Sylus isn't even fazed by his injuries. He is more horrified that the curse almost came true and he almost killed her. He flies away to Tarus City.
CHAPTER 7
Words spread that the Fiend is gravely injured, so every single opportunist is hunting Sylus down, hoping to be the one to make the kill
MC hides among the crowd to search for him, and eventually, she recalls the blind merchant's information that "The Fiend and his destined archnemesis will meet at a black chapel".
MC finds Sylus there gravely injured and barely conscious.
As she tries to stop his bleeding, he awakens and tries to attack her, still under the influence. MC does manage to get through to him.
At this point, though, the voice in MC's head is also urging her to kill him and devour him. Sylus awakens and taunts her about their destiny, to which she rejects vehemently.
They both confront one another about why 1) Sylus saved MC from the Abyss in the beginning even though he knew they were destined to kill one another 2) Sylus questions MC why she didn't kill him earlier. They both know the answers.
MC rejects her destiny and declares that she will save him instead. She starts to resonate with him and heal his wound.
Sylus: Save me? Are you aware of the cost? Once we hold hands now, our lives will be bound together, along with our deaths. We must offer half of our soul to the other. They'll be merged... to forge an unbreakable bond. To share your life with a fiend—it might be a punishment worse than having your soul devoured. Will you truly not regret it? MC: I said I'Il live, didn't I? No matter the cost. If following our hearts is a sin, then you and I must be the last of our kind in this world. Sylus: In that case.. Stay by my side until the end of time.
They fall asleep in the chapel—in each other's embrace with Sylus shielding them from the cold with one of his wings.
CHAPTER 8
This is where it gets a little murky about what is reality, a memory, or a fantasy. Unfortunately, I am going to be leaning towards Abyssal Blossom is a fantasy MC made up to cope with the guilt and pain of Sylus being gravely injured because of her as well as the trauma of their fated demise. (Note: Sylus is not dead in this scene) [ETA: This scene is also the dream main story MC has in Continuous Symphony.]
The next scene is exactly that. A fantasy. She imagines she and Sylus decorating the chapel and making it more homey. She even presents Sylus with a present: a flower crown she had made after gathering the few flowers available in Tarus City.
Sylus: So you stayed up late these past few nights to make this? MC: ...You didn't sleep either? Sylus: Do you like flowers? MC: Yes, I guess. But there aren't a lot in Tarus City. I had to scour the entire woods to get this much. Sylus: The forest barely has any flowers. MC: What do you mean— Sylus: Hold on tight. [Sylus carries her and flies away. Abyssal Blossom kindled scene begins.]
As this is continuing from the scene MC fantasizes about making the chapel a home, unfortunately, it does point to Abyssal Blossom as being a fantasy as well.
In the end, MC herself does acknowledge that this was indeed a fantasy.
As MC is kept imprisoned in the courtyard of the Sanctuary, Sylus occasionally visits her. She notices his injuries are healing.
When she asks Sylus why he didn't wake her all the other nights she fell asleep waiting for him, he reveals this:
Once again, this seems to point at Abyssal Blossom as being nothing more than a dream MC had.
MC also counters and questions if Sylus had ever dreamt of her. They banter back and forth a little bit, before MC switches the conversation.
MC: Since you've taken half of my soul…Even if the world turns its back on you, I'll always stand by your side. You're not even allowed to think about leaving me. Sylus: All right.
MC says they should make a pinky promise: To never betray each other.
In conclusion: FUCK DESTINY. FUCK THE STUPID CURSE. AND ALSO FUCK THAT CUNT THE SACRED JUDICATOR. I'm gonna go cry myself to sleep now. Good night 😔
#love and deepspace#love and deepspace sylus#lnds ramblings#lnds recap#lnds analysis#lads — beyond cloudfall#lads — abyssal blossom#lnds spoilers#lads spoilers#videos#this took me like three hours to write#if anything messed up i don't want to hear it#😔😔😔😔😔#abyssal blossom was supposed to heal me why the writers do that#💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔
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Yandere! Rich Suitor
(part 2!)
When you arrived at the remote island your parents had sent you off to you expected nothing out of the ordinary.
You and Andrew would spend a month or two there at some expensive resort or already owned house of either of your parents, you'd squabble with him from whatever topic came up in your conversations, and then you'd part ways at the end of the trip with no differing thoughts of each other. Same as always.
Oh how wrong you were.
-
"Y'know, you have pretty eyes."
You stared at Andrews light eyelashes with his hazel, almost green eyes. You never looked too hard but the purple ambient light of the bar you two were in only added to his features.
You were both drunk out of your minds and the bar was only 15 minutes to close, around 3 am if you had to guess.
"I could say the same to you," Andrew slurred while holding an empty glass of whatever liquor he had just finished off. He rested his head on the wooden bar and stared at the empty glass, then back to your face that was propped on your hand.
Bam!
You didn't even notice your face planting onto the counter, the sound didn't even faze Andrew who stared at your hair.
He reached out to touch it.
Surprisingly, you didn't flinch. Normally when you both were sober, maybe it was the liquor that stopped you from slapping his hand away but touching each other was deemed one of the most horrible acts to commit, but right now all he wished was to be closer to you.
He played with the loose strand of hair and you turned your head to face him.
With how close your faces were to each other, you were surprised how long you two had gone without arguing with each other.
"Can we go home," you mumbled while staring into Andrews glazed over eyes.
He nodded and slowly sat up straight, letting go of the small strand of hair.
You both stumbled out of the bar, with him fishing for a cellphone in your purse while you leaned on him for any type of support.
You managed to pick your head up and look at his flushed face. The neon glow of the bar lights illuminated his blond hair and the way his pretty eyes starred off into nothing was way more enticing than it should be. You stared long and hard for what seemed like forever.
Then you did something you never ever thought possible.
"Andrew."
"Yes?" Andrew replied while looking down at your (for once) soft gaze.
You grabbed his face with both your hands and planted your lips onto his. His lips were soft but slightly chapped, and he tasted like vodka and something else you couldn't put your finger on.
You still don't know why you did it, but all you remember after that was blacking out and waking up in the resorts bed the next morning, with a pounding headache and a sore neck.
-
"You're not leaving."
You had never been scared of Andrew per say. Yeah you've been angered by him, very annoyed recently and at worst wanting to rid him of this Earth.
But never scared, it made sense to not be scared in your childhood and early teenage years, and maybe it was pushing it when he started to put in muscle and grow taller; but you never had a reason to fear him.
Until now at least.
'Stay calm stay calm stay calm'
You repeated the phrase in your mind until you could find the words to hopefully get Andrew to stop acting insane.
"Andrew, look, I know what happened between us last night was weird but I'm sorry I wasn't trying to lead you on, but please just stop."
"Just stay here for a while, I know I haven't been exactly pleasant towards you, but please give me a chance," he muttered into your shoulder while softly playing with a strand of your hair.
You took in a deep breath to try and stop yourself from clawing his face off.
That would only make things worse considering he could easily overpower you, you shuddered at the thought of him going even further than he already had.
"Okay, I'll stay-just- please back away for a minute," you exhaled and let your hand leave the door knob despite every part of your body wanting to yank on it until it broke off or the door opened. Andrew seemed to relax a tiny bit at your words before slowly letting his arms unwrap themselves around you and instead back away. You didn't know if you could outrun him, but it wasn't worth a shot considering the nearest sign of civilization was about a 30-minute drive.
You exhaled a small sigh and dropped your bag from your shoulder onto the floor, and you turned around to face Andrew who was still relatively close but now you at least had a couple inches of personal space. He looked almost as much of a hungover mess as you, with his blonde hair hanging messily over his shoulders and face and slight bags under his eyes that you had previously never seen him with. But he had an odd look in his eyes that made you even more uneasy than you already were.
"Listen, Andrew, I'm sorry that I kissed you last night, I was drunk and I was stupid- I'm just- can we please forget about this?" You pleaded while brushing a hand through your hair. Andrew stood there for a moment, seemingly trying to figure out how to put together the words he wanted to say.
"Did you know, " he started, pausing to swallow the saliva that had been building up in his mouth, "I have never kissed someone before last night?"
Your eyes widened while trying to figure out how Andrew of all people hadn't even kissed someone! He was handsome, rich, and unfairly charismatic when he wanted to be. Before you could say something, Andrew held up his hand to signal to wait.
"I just never saw the appeal I guess, until last night that is," he said while trying not to hold eye contact with you for too long or he fears he might explode from shear embarrassment.
"But with you, it's as though," he paused again to gather his words and look down at his hands, "you awoke something in me that I didn't even know was there." His shy demeanor, despite his intimidating size, reminded you of a schoolboy confessing his long time crush to the girl he liked. It would have been cute if he hadn't practically forced you to stay in the beach house.
"I- and now that I felt whatever that was, I want to feel that again." He looked back up at your face, your pretty eyes and soft lips,he didn't know how he missed your beauty after all these years of being around you; but now he so desperately wanted to cradle it in his hands and-
"What?!" You shouted, interrupting his train of thought. Your fear from earlier seemed to have disappeared or at least been overcome by pure annoyance.
"So you're telling me," you took a breath to try and calm yourself, "that just 'cause I kissed you one time, that automatically your entire life of hating me just- poofed it's way out of existence?!"
"I-" Andrew tried to speak, but you quickly cut him off, you were borderline shouting but were trying your best not to completely explode from anger.
"So your entire reason for not hating me anymore is because I got your dick hard?!"
"No that's not it at all-"
"Go find someone else for you to explore your newfound 'feelings' with, I'm not gonna be your experiment just 'cause you've never gotten your dick wet before!"
You sighed and let go of the large breath you were holding and rubbed your eyes to try and figure out what to do with Andrew. Maybe you could set him up with one of your other friends who longed for a hot sugar daddy or something.
Walking past Andrew and back into the kitchen to hopefully find some aspirin or something to cure your now worse headache.
Andrew stared at the floor in front of him, in alm his life he had only cried once. When his dad stained his new tie that he had gotten as a gift from his grandma, other than that it had never happened; it was pretty much not even an option for him. But now he feels the unfamiliar feeling of his throat tightening and his eyes welling up with tears.
You saw him just standing there, and for a moment, you felt bad for him. Then you remembered how he had pinned you to the door, and it quickly disappeared. Swallowing the pills with a glass of leftover orange juice, you walked back to him where he was standing in the middle of the living room and awkwardly patted hid back.
"Look Andrew, I know it's hard when you discover romance or whatever," you sighed while rolling your eyes, " but the only reason you think you like me is because you've never given anyone else a shot, I can set you up with one of my friends even." You tried to lighten up the mood. Some of your friends might be into the whole toxic, pinning someone to a door thing.
Andrew was quiet for a moment before looking at you with red eyes and sighing. You were relieved that he had finally come to his senses, soon enough you two could put this whole thing behind yall and continue hating and at best tolerating each other.
"Have you... been with others?" Andrew asked quietly while tucking a stray hair behind his ear. You hesitated before replying.
"I mean- yeah; most people our age have had sex-" before you can even finish your sentence Andrew quickly traps your fave between his large hands and smashes his lips onto your.
Your eyes widened and you imminently tried to get him off of you, but your shoves against his broad chest didn't even register in his mind.
His inexperience shined through as his teeth cracked against yours and how he tried to immidelty shove his tongue in your mouth, but it didn't seem to bother him at all with how he let out small whimpers, trying to push his body as close to yours as possible.
He lowered his hands from your face and around your waist to haul you off the floor and onto the nearby couch, hovering over you but still putting enough weight to stop you from moving.
When he finally pulled away, you tried to scream something to try and get through to him, but one of his large hands covered your mouth, and he looked at you with pure want in his eyes.
"I can -" he tried to catch his breath, his second kiss with you leaving him breathless and red in the face. He gulped before speaking, "if you did it with others, you can do it with me," he let out a shaky breath before quickly shedding his shirt.
"A-andrew- listen- please- " he shut you up with another kiss, if you could even call the rough mouth full of tongue that, and slowly grinding against your thigh.
Your heart was beating so fast and you didn't notice the very noticeable bulge in his sweatpants. You thrashed and tried to get away from his grip but it only spurred him on more. He let out a patheic moan at the way you gripped the back of his hair and pulled hard, him pawing at your shirt, trying to get a taste of your soft, sweet-
He cried out when you bit his tongue, the taste of iron filling both of your mouths. He pulled away for a second, his hair sticking to his forward from the light sheen of sweat, his cheeks red and his eyes full of wonder from the pure pleasure of only humping against your soft thigh.
"You've known me your whole life, if you can have sex with someone you've only known for a few hours, you can definitely do it with me," he panted while humping your soft leg and referring to your many hook ups over the years. You felt like tearing his face off with the way he talked, like a teenage incel whose never even seen pussy. He sped up with his thrusts and laid his forehead in the crook of your neck, licking the sweat that had come from the heat.
Before you could speak, he interruptedyou with a loud breathy moan, his sweatpants now having stain and his cock growing softer against you.
For once, you couldn't say anything.
But soon you felt his cock hardening again and you knew it would be a while till you could escape, so you grit your teeth and just waited till he hopefully had his fill.
-
Hey yall sorry it took so long, I've been so busy with finals and stuff but here it is!! It's not proof read but I probably go back on it. Hope you enjoyed 🫶
Tag list! : @surprisemodafakas @kyoko-neko @kaeriustehe @kleoneli @purple-obsidian @strawberrie-me @lem-hhn
#yandere x y/n#yandere#oc#oc x reader#original content#orginal#yandere x you#yandere oc#yandere x reader#smut#light smut
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Tether Me - Chapter 2
Pairing(s): Geto/Gojo/Reader
Summary: “Hey! Didn’t keep you waitin’ too long, did we?”
“No, not long,” you assured, fighting hard to keep your eyes off his friend for however long possible, vainfully clinging to your sanity. You knew that as soon as you centered your vision on him, your ability for conscious thought would evaporate.
You wanted to present yourself as at least marginally normal as a first impression, though you doubted you were achieving that by avoiding the obvious third presence. You were surely coming off as rude, you really should–
“This one's Geto Suguru,” Gojo introduced the noiret by his side, nipping your overthinking at the bud.
At last, your full attention was guided to him.
Oh.
Oh. That was a mistake.
CW: No y/n | polyamory | slow burn | slice of life | alt au - no curses | fluff | light angst | eventual smut | forgive me, there's internal monologues | I like using big words... | Gojo & Geto are whipped for you | emotionally constipated reader | (most of the tags have been condensed, you can find the full list on my ao3 here)
AN: there's a couple mentions of emotional eating (in thoughts). Degrading words towards self (slut, whore, etc) but not self-degrading. I think that's it? Lemme know if I missed something, it's 5:50 am at time of posting and I am eepy, so I'm sorry if I did ♥
Ch: Prologue | Ch: 1 | Ch: 2 | Ch: 3 | Ch: 4 | Ch: 5 - 1 | Ch: 5 - 2
WC: 12.9k
The scent of something marvelously delicious wafting through the air had you groggily rolling over from your stomach to your back in bed, stretching your arms above you and practically vibrating the way a cat would as you eased away any sleep-induced tension from your muscles.
You honestly hadn’t slept that well in a long while. You were bleary-eyed, sure, but refreshed. You didn’t have any heavy bags under your eyes, you didn’t experience any nightmares of being hunted. Just calm, good, dreamless sleep.
As much as you wanted to laze around in bed all day, though, the watering of your mouth couldn’t go ignored. Or the rumble in your stomach, for that matter.
With a sleepy groan and big, feline-like yawn to match your stretch, you shuffled out of bed and rubbed the crusties from your eyes as you pulled on some comfortable clothes. Hell if you knew what you were going to do for the day, you could figure that out after you sated your appetite.
You were downright drooling when you left your room to do your morning routine and groused like a toddler that didn’t want to brush her teeth before devouring her weight in breakfast. But you were a grown ass woman that quite preferred to have good hygiene, thank you very much. The intoxicating call of sustenance would have to wait until after you scrubbed your face and polished your teeth to perfection.
Catching sight of yourself in the mirror made you choke when you saw how chaotic the nest of hair on your head was. You felt like a cartoon character that got zapped, your tresses sticking in every direction.
You must have slept really well, then.
You combed your fingers through the messy strands, trying to smooth the misbehaving locks. It took some effort to tame them into a somewhat presentable fashion, which was the most you cared to do when you were dying to eat already.
Your eyes flickered towards the remaining bottles you left on the sink countertop from last night and you nearly lost your shit.
Just what did Satoru put Ijichi through to get you high end skin products like these? And in such a short amount of time? You guessed the poor man broke a few speeding laws to get these in time for you to use. That, or maybe Satoru had informed him earlier, when you initially agreed to take him up on his offer to stay at his place. Or he already had them and was keeping them around for this kind of situation? Did he use the same brand?
Well, whatever. You were going to use those zealously, so help you god.
And, by the heavens above and seas below, they were fucking incredible. Your face was baby-skin soft. Lustrous, dewy, you were glowing, and certainly felt like it, too. You couldn’t stop touching your cheeks and forehead, they were just so smooth.
No wonder rich people always had the clearest skin. If you had these while growing up, you never would have had to deal with getting acne in your teens and into your adulthood.
So fucking unfair.
Lamenting how Satoru was born with a silver spoon in his mouth while you were robbed by the universe, you followed the delectable wisps of the tasty aroma in the air like a drunk cupid with tiny wings and a dazed veneer on your face. There you found the man himself in the kitchen, humming an unfamiliar song to himself.
You continued to be baffled that he knew how to cook. It seemed almost unnatural, in a way. He was the prime example of a rich boy that you could find reclining on a poolside chair, hands behind his head as a servant hand fed him grapes. Yet here he was, cooking away, an apron tied around his neck and waist (with frills and little hearts, too, the flashy ass). You wouldn’t be surprised if it had ‘Kiss the Chef’ written across the front and oh, would you look at that, you were right.
“Goooood morning!” Satoru exclaimed, turning away from the stove to greet you. The apron was even flashier than you thought. For fuck’s sake, it had sequins on it. “How’d you– whoa. Nevermind, your hair answers that question.”
You subconsciously tried to flatten down your frizzy tangles once more, grumbling and pulling your gaze away from the atrocious fabric covering his chest that you would totally wear as well, gods, it was horrific. Your morning hair never liked to cooperate with you. “Morning.”
Yawning against the back of your hand, you climbed onto one of the barstools at the kitchen island and veered your body to the side, trying to see what he was cooking around his arm. It smelled sweet, the kind of sweet that was almost enough to make you nauseous, but wouldn’t actually cross that line. Kind of like dessert after you’ve filled yourself to bursting with dinner.
“What are you making? It smells really good,” you said.
“Pancakes!” He exclaimed, sliding an already finished plate to you, soufflé pancakes stacked high atop, drizzled in chocolate and syrup. He even added fruit slices in an arch around the back, just to make it extra fancy.
Someone had a sweet tooth, it seemed. That, and it was obvious he was trying to show off his culinary skills, having the perfect reason to do so now.
But who were you to point that out? You were getting free food, and not even for the first time! Of course you were going to stuff yourself sick with these. Because, honestly, they did look incredible. You would have felt bad about devouring such art if your stomach wasn’t going nuts.
“Wow, these smell amazing,” you said, scooping up a bite with the fork he passed you. You admired it, tilting it a few degrees in the light, then chomped down on it.
The noise you made was downright unholy. Straight to the Second Circle with you, don’t even think about looking at the pearly gates of Heaven.
“Fuuuuck,” you keened as you immediately shoved another piece into your mouth. You savored the delectable meal with chubby cheeks, letting the sugary and fluffy delight overtake your senses. “This is so fuckin’ good.”
He cackled at your reaction as he finished cooking and styling up his own plate, ditching the eye-bleedingly ugly apron, and you realized a trice too late that you just stroked his ego considerably. “I didn’t know you could make those kinds of sounds,” he quipped. The sunlight pouring through a nearby window caught the lenses of his glasses when he slid into the seat beside you, making them glint the same way his eyes would if you could see them unobstructed. “Makes me wonder what other noises you can make.”
You almost choked on the pancake you were greedily wolfing down.
Okay, he was not allowed to say things like that while you were eating. And especially not in that voice, the one that lowered a couple octaves and had you squirming in your seat. Barely 10 minutes into the morning and you were already struggling to keep your composure around him.
You swallowed down your food stiffly and patted your sternum with a wee cough. “You’re going to be the death of me.”
“I’m not opposed to that.”
“You promised you’d let me use your hot spring first.”
“I can be patient!” Exclaimed the man who very much could not be patient.
You deadpanned, but your lips quivered as you tried to restrain a grin. “Somehow, I doubt that.”
He moped like he was told he couldn’t go to the park today. “You’re so mean to me. How could you? And right after I graciously agreed to house you, too.” Wow, he wasn’t kidding about not letting you live that down.
To make up for it and bring the whiny baby back into a good mood, you let him have a few bites of your food, and he lit up like a damn firework, scarfing them down without a second thought. He had this sort of boyish charm that was difficult to resist in a way that made you want to tease and taunt him endlessly. His statuesque features certainly aided his charisma.
“By the way,” Gojo began, speaking around a piece of syrup-covered strawberry from his own dish. “There’s someone I want to introduce to you later. You’ll like him.”
You gave him a sidelong glance. Was this the second ‘someone’ Granny mentioned the day before? You shuddered at the thought of dealing with two Satoru’s. You barely knew the first one, and he was already a handful and a menace. You chewed quickly and swallowed to answer.
“Is he anything like you?” You asked, doing your best to be ladylike and eat the way a normal person would. You weren’t really succeeding.
He grinned wide. “He’s the best! Second to me, of course.”
“That does not answer my question,” you pointed an accusatory fork at him.
“Pshh, don’t worry. He’s cool. Well, not as cool as me, but very close.”
That still didn’t answer your question. More so, it put you on edge. You were already mentally preparing to get acquainted with this potential twin, doppelgänger, and/or clone.
“Can you at least tell me his name?”
“Geto Suguru,” he responded.
Geto Suguru, huh?
Same initials as Gojo Satoru. Same amount of syllables, too.
You were so fucked, weren’t you?
The thought of having two copies of the gremlin beside you had you preemptively putting your hands on your nape to ease the tension. Figuratively, but possibly literally, depending on if height was something they shared.
“Alright,” you said. “When do you want me to meet him?”
“Oh, the time will come, you shouldn’t worry your pretty little head.”
Well, if that wasn’t the most cryptic shit that definitely had you worrying your pretty little head. Asshole, he was doing that on purpose, confirmed by that cunning expression he had as he observed you with his temple resting on his fist, elbow on the counter. He liked toying with you.
You narrowed your eyes at him. “Don’t look at me like that.”
He raised his brows. “Like what?”
“Like you’re planning some shit.”
Satoru pressed his fingers to his chest, feigning innocence. “Why, I’d never!”
He was absolutely planning some shit. All you could really do now was brace yourself for whatever was to come, though you were certain that no amount of readying yourself would keep you from getting swept off your feet. “I’ve got my eye on you.”
That was the wrong thing to say, considering he fucking swooned and tipped over, resting his head on your shoulder and closing his eyes, sighing like a schoolgirl. “I knew you thought I was handsome.”
You gave a long-suffering exhale and poked his cheek. “I said no such thing.”
“Yeah, but you looked it.”
“The hell does that even mean?”
“Just keep your eyes on me, pretty baby,” he directed and sat back up, reaching for his fork. “What’s on the agenda for you today?” He asked as he scooped up the rest of the syrup on his plate with the last bite of his food.
You coughed to cover your blush, grateful for the topic change. “Well, I guess take stock of all I’ll need to do with my house. I got a job at Granny’s store, so I’ll start working there in a few days.”
“Shit, really?” He gaped at you. “That fast?”
You nodded around your final piece of pancake, closing your eyes to savor the sublime flavor. You’d have to make him teach you to cook like that sometime, too.
A ‘whooh’ sound left him. “Impressive.”
“It’s weird,” you said. “Everything’s worked out so far, and I’ve barely been here for two and a half days. I’m getting suspicious.”
“Why?”
Your shoulders lifted and dropped. “Seems too good to be true. Gotta stay on my toes, y’know?”
Satoru ruffled your hair as he stood to stack your empty plates into the dishwasher. “You think too much, sweetheart.”
You crossed your arms over your chest. “Let me be paranoid.”
“You’ll just give yourself worry lines like that,” he cautioned, returning to press his index finger between your brows, “riiiight here. You gotta relax, princess. Chill out, do something fun.”
It was hard to, after spending so many years escaping metaphorical ghosts. Old habits die hard, you supposed.
He was right, you could really use a break from non-stop wariness. This was supposed to be a fresh start, after all. You washed your slate, unmarked of everything on purpose, keeping next to nothing but your name and the clothes on your back. No contacts, nobody waiting for you somewhere, no responsibilities or obligations holding you back. Who knew how long you’d get the chance to let go like this? Might as well take advantage of it.
You weren’t sure what would qualify as ‘fun’ here, but you were a new sprout, after all. What better way than to learn firsthand?
“Alright,” you agreed. “Recommend anything?”
“Hmm,” he lolled his head side to side. “Go to the bakery. It’s not far from Granny’s store, a couple streets north. Hard to miss, it’s got a big sign. We saw it on the way to Granny’s yesterday.”
You scratched through your memory, trying to remember exactly where it was. You had a fuzzy idea, but the benefit of living in such a small locale was that it wouldn’t be too difficult to find. “Will do, thanks. I’ll go after I check out my place first. I’ll need the emotional support after that.”
“Fair enough, I saw why,” he chortled. Oh, the exterior was nothing compared to the interior, sweet summer child. “You want a ride there?”
You considered it, then shook your head. “Nah, it’d be better for me to walk there to get more familiar with the town.”
“You sure?” He raised a brow, a teasing, lazy smirk crawling up his lips. “Won’t get lost?”
“Probably,” you snorted, “but experience is the best teacher, eh?”
He chuckled low in his throat. “If you do get lost, don’t be afraid to call me. I’ll be your prince in shining armor.”
You made a ‘pffft’ noise and glared at him. He just smiled back like the dork he was. “It’s knight in shining armor.”
“Prince is better. I’m not some lowly knight.”
Drama queen. “Alright, whatever you say, prince. I’ll see you–” In the midst of slipping off the stool to get ready to leave, you stopped, remembering a key piece of information. “Hey,” you spoke up, rotating to scrutinize him with a squint. “How did you know my back door doesn’t have a lock?”
He shrugged nonchalantly. “My friends and I would go there on dares when we were younger. Believed it was haunted, dumb kid shit, you know how it goes.”
Oh.
That– yeah, that sounded way more plausible and understandable than whatever ghost stories about kidnappers and serial killers you came up with. But he still could have phrased it better than he did, he didn’t have to go creepy-mode to convince you to stay with him for the time being.
“Why?” He chortled. “Thought I was gonna kidnap ya?”
“Yes,” you replied automatically, scratching the spot behind your ear sheepishly. “Sorry about that.”
He snickered at your expense, bending down and lowering his voice into a rumbling murmur. “You never know. Maybe I will.”
“Har har,” you replied flatly. “Very funny.”
His lips curled further, eyes gleaming behind his shades. “Better keep your guard up, princess. Someone might just come and snatch you up when you least expect it.”
You scoffed as you swiveled and headed towards the front door. Satoru followed you in a way that reminded you of a puppy, or a mischievous cat, observing you as you tugged on your shoes. “I’m sure I’ll be fine. I can scream really loud.”
“And if they cover your mouth?”
“I bite,” you grinned toothily.
He crooned. “I’ll keep that in mind. You sure you don’t need a ride?”
“I’ll be fine,” you dismissed his uncertainty and double checked your purse as you put it on. “I’ll catch you later.”
“Ah, wait, before you go,” he halted you, reaching out to search through a bowl on the console table pushed up to the wall. After a second or two of digging around, he pulled out a key attached to a ring and held it out to you. “Here, in case nobody’s home when you get back.”
You took it from him and turned it over in your palm, evaluating its untarnished sheen. “Thanks,” you tucked it away safely into a pocket in your purse. “Is it new?”
“Just a spare,” he stuffed his hands into his pockets. “Put it to good use, yeah?”
“Sure,” you agreed.
He patted your head and you scowled at him. “I’ll be awaiting your call for when you need to be rescued.”
You stuck your tongue out at him as you opened the door and stepped out of it. “Dream on.”
His rolling laughter was the last thing you heard as you closed it behind you. The purity of the air awed you again. It was like a medium between you and nature, tickling every one of your senses. There was this certain liberating power in this valley, one that swelled behind your heart and spread out like hot tea on a cold winter morning.
It swirled in your stomach and radiated from your chest in time with your pulse, lulling and salving. Why had you never considered going to the countryside before?
You were a city-hopper, bouncing from metropolitan hellscape to metropolitan hellscape, where the streets of downtown reeked of anything sickly, apartments were expensive to rent, and you only ever felt like a side character.
Restaurants there were always jam-packed, cafés were less of early day respites and more places of palpable depression. The bars were grimy and boozy, ear-piercingly loud and sweltering with the body heat of dozens of people pressed too tightly together, but at least they were good for one thing.
They were good for shutting down your brain. When it got too loud and too full, when the alcohol burned too much and the people were too touchy, that was when you went into autopilot and thrived in the bliss of silence created by the endless droning of the bass vibrating from your feet to your scalp. You hated liquor, just the thought of it made you queasy, but you craved the buzz it gave you back then.
You didn’t have that luxury now, but you didn’t need it. You hadn’t so much as thought about partaking in that vice since moving, actually. Had you known about the kind of life you could find here, you would have ditched the neon streets a long time ago.
The placidity of mostly untouched vegetation and of the tightly knit community provided a different kind of solace, one that distracted you with things far more interesting than paranoia and anxiety-driven overthinking.
You didn’t feel lost here. Not in the metaphorical sense. Literally had yet to be seen. It remained unfamiliar, but your panic had smoothed out from the first steps you had taken off the train. You could breathe without feeling like there were matches being held too close to your lungs, or needles aimed at your heart.
You didn’t hold onto hope, though. The pattern remained the same. Once you got used to this place, you’d hop on the next train and be on your less-than-merry way.
Will I ever stop running? You asked yourself frequently.
Nobody ever answered.
That’s alright. For now, you were okay.
Choosing not to indulge in those ideologies, you followed the curving road back down the incline, noting that the car Ijichi had brought you in was gone. You’d need to find a way to thank him, as well as Granny. You didn’t like being indebted to people, especially if it put you at risk of getting tied down.
Satoru was a different problem entirely, since he was letting you live with him. Chores, rent, maybe another thing or two to keep the score level. You weren’t great on brainstorming ideas on how to return favors, but you’d figure it out. A good walk always helped make the creative juices flow.
You ruminated on who he wanted to introduce you to later, coming up with ideas about what he might be like. Hopefully a counterpart and not a duplicate, you weren’t sure how much you’d be able to handle if that was the case.
If he was friends with Satoru, though, the likelihood of him driving you insane in one way or another was highly likely.
“I bet he’s disgustingly handsome, too,” you muttered cattily under your breath. “I’m gonna see him and the last brain cells I have are gonna explode.”
It didn’t help that you had no idea when you were going to meet this ‘Geto Suguru’. Would you have time to anchor yourself mentally? Would it be today, or a week from now? Could you even prepare at all?
Ugh.
Satoru was right, you thought too much.
As you roamed around, the shrine caught your eye once more, and you stopped to take it in. You hadn’t been to a shrine before – not this kind, anyway. The bigger ones in Tokyo didn’t count. You vaguely remembered how to pray, though you weren’t sure if you should. Paying respects, though, that was fine.
You nibbled on your bottom lip, debating. In the end, it wasn’t a hard choice. You would take any chance to procrastinate and delay facing the disaster awaiting you as much as you could. Except for the bakery Satoru recommended, you were saving that for after you made a plan for your house. You figured you’d want to stress eat afterwards to balm your troubled heart.
Besides, you weren’t sure if you’d have the time to visit after you got started on everything. You had a few days to use up, why not use them to check things out?
The trail leading up to it was easy to find, and though clearly well-traveled and requiring some exertion to traverse, it was clear that it was loved. The flowers on either side of the path were tended to with a compassionate hand, blooming and fragrant. You took a break on several occasions just to sniff a few, admiring them.
Usually, you were picky about flowers.
Most were less redolent and more bitterly pungent for you, such as roses. They were elegant, no doubt, but their scent always bordered on perfume-y in a way that reminded you more of an old folks’ home rather than pleasant and subtle beauty. Generally, florid notes made your face scrunch up like you ate something unexpectedly sour.
These flowers were just right, though. They still had those floral undertones, of course, but presented salubrious and fruity essences atop it. It made you mull over why every other flower you smelled before wasn’t palatable.
Soon, the shrine entrance was in clear view. You traced your finger along the edge of a petal one last time before standing up from your squatting position and making your way over to it. The tower itself was mostly vertical in terms of size, decently small in contrast to the typically larger ones scattered about Japan, but it fit in perfectly with everything else here.
There were two stone benches on either side of the archway leading in, pressed up to the sturdy cobblestone foundation, and lanterns situated at the corners of both, reminding you of a few animated movies with similar designs you’d seen in the past. They were slightly shaded, turned a few degrees away from the sun, and you imagined it would be nice to read there and watch the sun fall asleep beyond the horizon.
The doors were open, guarded by dog-like statues, a bit crudely carved out. Satoru had mentioned it was a shrine dedicated to the wolves that used to roam the mountains, so the statues were likely meant to resemble them. You were curious about the interior, wanting to see the altar up close, since each place of prayer had their own uniquely made one, but the sight of a person clad in white and red kneeling in front of said altar within had you nixing that idea. You could do it another time.
She must have noticed your approach as her head lifted and she peeked partially over her shoulder. She rose up and rotated to face you, and you withheld your exasperation.
Right, this was just fucking ridiculous now, what the fuck.
Why was there another criminally attractive person in this godsforsaken valley? You got scammed, you wanted your money back. Everyone here was so out of your league, you felt like the dog that caught the baseball bat after it’s thrown rather than a player in the game. What, was there going to be an additional good-looking person, ready to knock the wind out of you?
Probably Geto.
If any of these people told you to get down on your knees and bark, you would have without question.
Seriously, why?
You should have been relishing existing in the presence of so many charming folks, but in reality, it just made you feel self conscious.
“Hello,” she greeted as she walked over to you, bringing you out of your internal raging monologue. “May I help you?”
“Oh,” you fluttered your lashes and stammered minutely, trying to recollect yourself. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to distract you. I just wanted to see the shrine.”
The shrine maiden’s lips tilted up politely. “You’re fine, don’t worry. Are you a tourist?”
“No,” you fidgeted with your thumb and index finger on your right hand. “I moved here recently. I’m checking around to get more acquainted with the area.”
Her brows rose a millimeter short of being comical. “Really? That’s surprising. Did one of the villagers leave that I didn’t know of?”
“Also no. I bought the house on the outskirts, uhh,” you twisted to scan behind you and pointed in the general direction of it. “That way.”
“That house? I thought they’d torn it down a long time ago. Why that one?”
You lowered your arm. “It was cheap. Gave me an excuse to move here properly.”
“I hope you’re not staying there, it’s dangerous,” she frowned, using a stern yet caring voice.
“I’m staying with Gojo Satoru while I fix it up.”
Immediately, the woman’s face twisted into a sneer of repulsion. Scorn shadowed over her honey-brown eyes, causing yours to widen as hers narrowed. “Run away while you still can,” she told you firmly.
Well, that’s not worrisome at all.
What the hell did he do to her?
“What? Why?” Your brows furrowed.
She sighed as if the mere mention of Gojo had stripped a few years off her lifespan. “He’s the devil in disguise.”
Was anyone ever going to give you a straight answer about him? “Did he…do something?”
Her scorn turned to ire and agitation in a snap. “He’s so obnoxious! And arrogant, I can’t stand to be around him, he pisses me off to no end,” she downright snarled, heat rising to her cheeks from her anger. “He acts all high and mighty when he’s just a spoiled brat that refuses to respect his elders!”
“Oh–”
“Me!” She pointed harshly at herself. “I’m his elder! Well, I mean, not the only one, but still! He was raised like a golden child, given everything he wanted. He loooves getting on everyone’s nerves, especially mine. Get away from him or he’ll send you to an early grave, miss.”
You didn’t know what you were expecting when you came to view the shrine, but a rant from a peeved miko definitely wasn’t anywhere on your list of possibilities. His name alone sent her into a tailspin, and you would have regretted it if seeing her go off about the man wasn’t more entertaining than it had any right to be. You did feel bad, but madly interested, too.
“I…see,” you reacted stiltedly, stifling a laugh. “Are you, like, exes or something?”
She gaped at you as if you had informed her of her puppy’s passing. “What? No! Absolutely not! I– how could– never even mention–” She abruptly stopped herself, took a few intensely deep breaths to calm herself, then she was smiling kindly again as if nothing had happened. “Where are my manners? I’m Iori Utahime, a miko. It’s a pleasure to meet you. And you are?”
Left reeling from her unexpected 180 in demeanor, you stuttered out your own name in response, to which she nodded in approval.
“A lovely name. You said you moved here recently? How fun! What brought you to this valley?”
Satoru had several questions to answer for the next time you saw him. If you had a notepad and pen, you would have been writing them down like a P.I., bobbing your head with a solemn face as you asked Iori to recount her history of events.
“I came to study abroad in Tokyo a few years back, and fell in love with the country,” you said. “I’m not big on cities, though, so coming here seemed perfect.”
Maybe you were embellishing your story a bit, but in all fairness, you didn’t know her. Besides, clean slate; you had no story before this, why not paint one now that you had the freedom to?
You weren’t going to whip up some grand tale about how you were this astonishingly intelligent, leading programmer in your country that did impressive work for science (that was your mother), but it didn’t hurt to fib the truth a small amount. The part about studying abroad was true, anyway.
She appraised you with an interested visage. “I see, I see. Where are you originally from?”
Man, people loved asking that, huh?
It’s not like you could blame them, you’d do the same in their place. You were a foreigner, they were going to treat you like one.
“Ah,” you told her of your place of origin. “It’s nothing special. I mostly traveled.”
“Oh? How did you make money?”
“Freelance,” you answered. “Odd jobs here and there, enough to keep myself afloat. Have you traveled before, Iori-san?”
You could see the overjoyed spark in her eyes that someone was finally respecting her. “Only within the country,” she responded, somewhat somber. “I’ve always wanted to see what it’s like outside Japan.”
You tilted your head back to see the sky and think of suggestions. What do the stars look like here? “Depends on where you go. Some places are very packed and have lots of things to do no matter where you go, like Europe. Other places are more sparse, like the States.”
“But the States have more people,” the woman pointed out.
“Yeah,” you confirmed, “but that country is massive and people there tend to group into major cities, rather than be spread out. California is technically bigger than the entirety of Japan, but has way less people.”
Her eyes bulged in surprise. “Really?”
“Yep. It’s why you might hear Westerners say ‘there’s nothing to do here’,” you glanced at the structure behind her. “You guys revere wolves here, right?”
Utahime clapped her hands twice eagerly. “That’s correct! How’d you know?”
Based on her reaction to you merely mentioning Satoru, you figured it’d be best if you didn’t tell her the source of your information. “I’ve heard about it. I was curious, I haven’t been to a smaller shrine like this one before. Only the bigger ones in Tokyo, but those were part of my assignments, rather than for leisure.”
“Oh, it’s not much,” she espied at it from over her shoulder, but you could see the pride in her eyes. It was well taken care of, with love and chariness. It easily passed off as something constructed more recently, given its meticulous maintenance.
“How long ago was it built?”
“Around the same time the settlers first came here.”
This time, your eyes were the ones that opened wide. It had to have been at least 350 years old in that case, based on a rough estimate. “That far back? Wow, it’s in seriously good shape.”
The woman puffed up her chest. “Though the wolves have long since died out here, we still honor them. They helped us with hunts and allowed this village to thrive when we needed it most. They protected us from cursed spirits, as well. It’s only right we treat them and the bounties they’ve given us with respect.”
Oh, there was that term again: cursed spirits. “Could you tell me more about cursed spirits?”
Enthusiasm bubbled up in her the way it would in a child about to tell their parents about the story they wrote up. She skipped over to one of the stone benches and plopped down onto it, patting the spot beside her. You slid onto it, a chill shooting up your spine from the cold temperature. Being shaded from the sun made the rock gelid, go figure.
“Now! Let’s start from the beginning as we know it,” she cleared her throat and took on the role of a teacher. “The origin of cursed spirits and jujutsu sorcery as a whole is largely unknown. It’s speculated that spirits have lived alongside humanity from the beginning of it, as cursed energy is formed by negative emotions, and cursed energy is what spirits are born from.”
She was very animated when teaching, you noticed. Lots of hand movements, facial expressions, and a bouncy attitude to boot. It made for a very entertaining show, and did well to keep you engaged.
“Curses were invisible to humans. Only a select few could see them, and even fewer could actively interact with them in some way or another,” she continued. “Smaller curses would typically leech off of people without them knowing it, feeding off their bad emotions. Stronger curses, however, could be incredibly powerful. Sometimes to the point of standard weapons being completely useless against them, which is why jujutsu sorcery came to fruition. We needed some way to fight back against the spirits, so we developed a way to do just that by manipulating the natural reserves of cursed energy we had within us.”
Folklore from other countries always captivated you. From the creator of mankind in some Chinese mythos named Nüwa, to the counterpart of the equivalent of Santa in Germany, the origin of Halloween and turnip lanterns – even the oddly terrifying ones without nefarious intentions, like Mari Lwyd.
You adored hearing about legends, stories, and tales passed down through oral and written history over the centuries of life existing in each respective land. To say she had you hooked would be an understatement.
What were curses like? Assuming they were real, of course, and that jujutsu sorcery didn’t follow the same ideology as hanging witches. Were they ugly? Bipedal? Humanoid at all?
“Many natural disasters are blamed on curses, even to this day,” she began lifting her fingers as she counted off a few examples. “Earthquakes, tsunamis, droughts. Pretty much anything you can think of.”
“Were they kinda like demons?”
“Eh,” she tilted her hand side to side a few times. “Yes and no. Depends on who you ask, really. They could be different from demons of hell, or they could be one and the same.”
“I see,” you pinched your chin. “So, where’d they go, then?”
She grasped one of her pigtails, running her fingers through the open and loose portion at the top of it. “Nobody really knows. Some think that sorcerers were able to eradicate them at the source, and died off since they weren’t needed anymore. It could be that the curses have simply lost power due to the progression of mankind, and particularly therapy, though it’s…still kind of taboo. Some claim they’re still around, we just don’t notice because we aren’t able to see any of it.”
Satoru’s words on the matter echoed in your mind. ‘Even if they are real, there's no way they'd beat me.’
You bit your cheek to hold back an unwitting snicker. Leave it up to Satoru to say some brazen shit and have it pop up in your head at random.
“What about you? What do you think?” You asked.
Utahime flicked a piece of invisible dirt off the front of her hakama. “I believe they exist. It’s part of why I’m a miko, and one of the reasons I maintain this shrine. It’s my duty. Curses may not be the same now as they were back then, but that’s no reason for me to slack off. Complacency breeds contempt.”
It was heartwarming, in a way, to see someone still holding onto traditions like these, working to keep her friends, family, and home safe, upholding the rules within and outside places of prayer. You admired her for it.
Not that you would personally want to be a shrine maiden, but you held them in high esteem nonetheless.
“And you?” She peered at you. “Do you believe in the supernatural?”
You closed your eyes for a moment, stretching your legs in front of you and idling back on your hands. “I’m agnostic, neither here nor there. I respect spaces that are considered sacred, I’d rather not get hexed, but I don’t go out of my way to hunt down, let’s say, ghosts.”
“I commend you, many could stand to learn a thing or two from you,” as she spoke, she stood up and brushed off the back of her kosode. “You are good company, though I fear I should get back to work soon.”
“Ah,” you got up as well and bowed to her. “Thank you for sharing your stories with me, Iori-san. I’m sorry for disturbing you.”
She waved her hand. “You didn’t, don’t worry. Come visit me again soon, okay? I’d love to hear stories of your travels as well.”
“Sure,” promised easily, more than content to exchange tales with her. “Stay safe.”
“Likewise,” the noirette disappeared back into the shrine with a final word of parting, leaving you to your devices.
While you didn’t get to see the altar inside, you considered the visit worthwhile, and got a new acquaintance out of it, too. You could come back to check it out another day.
Having burned through all the reasonable amount of procrastination time you allowed yourself, you voyaged back down the path, appreciating the blooms the whole way down the same way you had when you went the other way. You had to ask Utahime if she was the one tending to them next time you saw her.
You were proud to say that you only got lost twice. But you did find the bakery on the way, and memorized where it was once you located the path home. Not bad, not bad at all. You managed to find your way around, and you didn’t need to embarrass yourself by calling Satoru to come to your rescue.
It’s sad how low your standards for happiness had fallen, but you’d take any crumb of serotonin you could find.
You noticed the trip to your house was shorter whenever you actively didn’t want to go there, as if it was a living creature that purposefully made you arrive faster, just so you had to give it attention.
It stood, looming, mocking you. Taunting you, the monstrosity. What an asshole.
The outside matters came first, the less time you had to spend inside, the better. You pulled up the notes app on your phone and began the task of drafting everything you needed to deal with, denoting it as the ‘Outdoor’ section in your native tongue.
Fence, you typed down, scribbling sporadic thoughts as you went. Tear down? Repair? Replace?
You checked the ends and noted that the fence only went back about halfway into your property, leaving the back uncovered. Covers only front. Built like that? Collapsed/removed in the back?
You felt the stalks of yellow-ish green leafage with your palm, the tips reaching your hips. Cut down grass and weeds. You should plant pollinator flowers if the yard was ever cleared out well enough. It’d be nice to have some butterflies and bees around to help everything grow nice and healthy.
You lightly nudged a piece of a busted plant pot with the toe of your shoe. Dispose of broken pots. A slight stumble had you leering down to see a strangely shaped tile. You tilted your head in confusion, then peered up at the edge of the roof, deducing it was a shingle that had fallen off. You stepped further away from the roof, just in case. And fallen & loose shingles.
Rounding the side, you waded through the overgrown flora, poring over the condition of the rundown house’s environment. Remove ivy from walls. Set up trellises. Lattices to form a backyard/patio/garden/thing?
Angling your chin up, you placed your hand over your forehead and assessed the roof. From on the ground, you wouldn’t be able to completely acknowledge the damage done to it over the years it sat untouched, but you were reluctant to climb on it to see first hand. You didn’t have a ladder, for starters, and you liked having unbroken bones and working shins.
Get a ladder.
The back of the estate was in the same condition as everything else. Which is to say, disheartening.
“What’ve I got myself into…” You muttered.
You spotted a narrow garden plot built into the back of the house. Overgrown, yes, but it’d be perfect for planting stuff when you got it all cleared up.
It wasn’t a question of ‘if’, unfortunately. You had no other real choice besides mending what was left in your hands.
You were still miffed at the real estate agent. You likely wouldn’t have purchased this piece of land had you known what was ahead. Or if you were in a better state of mind, honestly, rather than being in the middle of your fight-or-flight phase of living.
“No good dwelling on the past,” you whispered to yourself as you circled back to the front. “Can’t change it now.”
You took a deep, long, full breath, enjoying the fresh and crisp air while you still could. You savored the temperate hints of nature and the clement weather, treating it like it would be your last time experiencing such comfort. You didn’t know if your nostrils (or you) would survive the excursion into hell you were about to go on, so you weren’t risking taking the breeze for granted.
Exhaling all in one big puff, you steeled your shoulders and pushed open your front door, your free hand covering your nose in anticipation. Replace hinges and/or front door.
It managed to punch you in the gut regardless.
New section in your notes open, you got to work typing. The most obvious issues came first, such as the floors, the peeling walls, and exposed boning and pipes. A lot would possibly need to be replaced, such as the counters in the kitchen, cupboards…
Floor rotted(?) and sticky. Wash?
Spackle for holes in walls? New drywall instead?
Check insulation.
Your spirits fell more and more with each additional item of note you wrote onto the list. Could any of this be salvaged? Were you better off tearing it down?
Remove tatami. Replace? Don’t?
Stepping into what you assumed was the master bedroom, you made your way over to the sleeping bag you left behind and cautiously rolled it up, maneuvering around the grime stuck to it, and placed it against a corner. You’d toss it when you got the chance to.
M-bed closet missing doors and shelf.
Seeing the window, you tip-toed to it, hoping to open it to air out the room. Your nose formed bunny lines at the cobwebs littering the sill and edges. While there weren’t any spiders – as far as you could see – you still did not enjoy touching them in the slightest.
Pushing up from the center of the window proved to be futile, the frame wasn’t going to be budging anytime soon.
Windows stuck.
Remove spider webs.
There was litter here and there – torn pieces of paper, a ripped open baggie, fabric – that you decided to leave as is. Along with not having gloves to pry them off the ground, you didn’t have anything to throw them away into. They got to live another day.
Toss out trash.
The shower and bathroom had a cupboard tucked off to the side, but opening it showed the middle platform separating the top and bottom within was crumbly and would break if you put any weight on it. Replace shelf in bathroom cupboard.
The tiles were all fucked up, too. Some were chipped, others were outright broken or missing. Rust had gathered around the tap and drain in the tub, likely from years of having a leaky faucet before it ran out of water to drip.
Clean out rust in bath/pipes. Throw away broken floor tiles. Replace.
You pulled the left handle of the sink faucet and waited for a few seconds to see if the plumbing was functional.
Which was a big, fat no.
Plumbing. Faucets.
Limescale on shower head, wall tiles.
You scrolled through what notes you had already created and chewed on the corner of your bottom lip, thinking of what else you might have needed to write down. You fixated blankly on the wall in front of you as you went over everything, then quickly typed out a few more things.
Electricity.
Check for asbestos, lead in paint.
You figured the tasks you needed to do would pop up as you went along, considering your notes to be a simple skeleton outline. You could jot down other things as needed, and work through them one by one.
Having done as much as possible while staying inside for as long as you could tolerate, you walked back outside and dug around in your purse for the piece of paper Granny had given you, the one with names and numbers of people that could help you in this endeavor.
To say you were beginning to panic would be an understatement. You already bought the damn thing, and doubted you’d be able to resell it and get all your money back. You also didn’t want to subject anyone to repairing the thing when it was both a health hazard and an embarrassment.
You had some reserve money, but it wasn’t a whole lot, so you required that job Granny gave you.
Gojo said you could stay with him for however long you needed, but that was with the expectation that you’d leave once your house was fixed up. Given the village’s size, it was unlikely that you would find another place within it to live in, even after saving up some money working for Granny. You didn’t want to piggy-back off anyone and be an imposition; the only reason you felt less guilty about staying with the moon-haired idiot was due to the sheer amount of space he had in his mansion.
You were swiftly running out of options.
Your lips paled as you pressed them tightly together, trying to wrack your mind for ideas. You couldn’t sell it, and you didn’t want to deal with the humiliation of having strangers work for you. In such a small town, word spread like fire on a dry wick. Who knows what they would say about you?
Realistically, it wasn’t your fault, you knew this. The house hadn’t been built under your name and, hell, was likely older than you by at least a decade or two. It didn’t fall to ruin because of you, but you were the owner of this house now, the responsibility rested on your shoulders.
You read through the list of handymen under your thumb, the paper shaking slightly from the death grip you had on it.
Repairing it on your own was technically an option, but you would be basically begging for severe injuries or even death by attempting that. You wouldn’t even know where to start. Foundation? Floors? Structure? Roof? You didn’t fucking know how to do any of that shit!
…Or you could just burn the damn eyesore to the ground ‘til there was naught but ashes left.
No, that was a stupid idea, but you were out of any good ones.
The thought you had previously of tearing it down and buying a garden shed to reside in was feeling more and more tempting by the hour. It was unreasonable, you knew, you simply…didn’t know what you were supposed to do.
You were used to doing things alone. You relied solely on yourself, trusted only your own words and intentions. Letting people in was not something you did for many reasons. Maybe you did crave closeness and camaraderie at some point in the distant past, but the concept was out of the question entirely now. It made uncomfortable butterflies sit heavy in your stomach, the urge to vanish into the treelines and never be seen again increasing with each extraneous person you invited into your life.
You sighed. “I should have just moved into the woods and turned into a witch,” you grumbled low, then scoffed sardonically. “Right, as if I wouldn’t accidentally poison myself with a weird mushroom on day three and die a horrible, painful, slow death.”
The two lists you had remained in your somewhat reluctant hands. You knew you were way in over your head, and you’d probably unintentionally curse the house sooner than you managed to make a positive change, but…you weren’t used to asking for help. Always the type to manage shit on your own, get things done yourself, be independent. Could you really be faulted for having a hard time reaching out to anyone else?
Especially since you hadn’t even met any of them yet. That would be disconcerting, asking folks you’d never seen – let alone spoken to – before to work for you.
Your phone singed your fingers. You did know someone, and knew that he was just a phone call away, but did you really want to deal with him of all people? He would take this chance to rub it all in your face and then some.
You carefully weighed your choices.
Rebuild the house yourself with no former experience with anything beyond shitty popsicle stick bird huts.
Call someone on the list, explain your situation, and ask for help.
Call the prick.
…By the gods, you really hated making calls to people you didn’t know.
Shamefully carping to yourself, you dialed Satoru’s number, trying to ignore the contact name he had set up for himself. It was so glitzy, the ✨❤️ Satoru ❤️✨ sitting at the top of the call screen making you stifle a short laugh, ironically lifting your spirits. “Here goes nothing…”
He answered within three rings. “Yo, been a while, princess” Satoru purred as if you hadn’t seen him that morning, and you rolled your eyes, despite not being there in person for him to see.
“You greet every girl like that?”
“Nope, just you,” you could hear his grin. “Whatcha need?”
Now came the part where you set aside your pride and voiced what you very much did not want to. Again. You’d known this man for barely 24 hours and he already had several wins over you. In…whatever game you decided you were losing. “Look, I…I need your help.”
“Oho? What’s this? Is the princess finally admitting how much she misses me?”
Smug dick.
“I did not say that,” you immediately berated him.
He simply hummed, unaffected. “Same thing.”
You ran your hand down your face, already exasperated just 30 seconds into the call. “You– ugh, just, can you help me or not?”
“Depends on what you need, sugar plum. Did ya get lost already?”
This man was going to be the cause of your madness. The bridge of your nose ached where you pinched it. “Granny gave me a list of people to call to help me with my house and I really don’t want to call any of them.”
“Then don’t.”
“And, what, do everything by myself?”
You could envision him shrugging. “Why not? I could help you.”
“Satoru, I trust a wild forest fire more than I trust you with a hammer.”
“Ouch,” he sucked air through his teeth, faux whimpering. “You’re such a bully. Fine, I’ll help you with contacting everyone.”
Oh, that took less fighting and groveling than you expected. You exhaled in relief. “Thank you–”
“On,” he interrupted you, “one condition.”
There it is.
Your skin began to sting as you dug your nails harder into it, leaving curved indents between your eyes. “Y’know what, I think I’ll be fine–”
“Ah-ah-ah, hang on a second there, pretty girl. Hear me out.”
Conceding, you sighed and urged him to make his request. “Fine, what is it?”
"Cook something for me,” he requested. “Consider it evening the score.”
Your face scrunched up into a question mark. “Wait, that’s it?
“What, do you want it to be more?”
“No, no, I can do that,” you quickly declined, biting on the edge of your thumbnail as you tried to think of something to prepare for him. “Do you have any preferences?”
“Sweets.”
Sweet stuff. Okay, you could work with that. You could bake some pretty killer macarons. You didn't know what ingredients he had at home, or how to operate his oven, but you'd just figure it out, right?
“Alright, I can do that,” you answered.
“We have a deal, then?”
You took a moment to consider. You could back out, but your introverted personality made that notion null. It was only baking, too, rather than the ghastly demand you were expecting him to make. Baking it is. “Deal.”
“Great! We’ll be over in a flash!~”
“Okay–” wait. “‘We’–?”
He hung up before you could ask. You groaned and contemplated smashing your phone against the ground, but decided against it. You needed the thing, unfortunately.
Since you had to wait for however long, you chose to add in some thoughts to what you’d already written down, brainstorming how you wanted to proceed. It was difficult to tell at this stage, before you started on anything. But you could pick out what you might want to plant; flowers, vegetables, a fruit tree or two. So what if you were fantasizing? It helped keep you calm. Escapism was a valid coping mechanism.
It was too hard to picture anything given the state of the house, though. You’d need to snip down the field first and go from there, when you could see everything clearly.
How much did contractor services cost in Japan? What about the people Granny knew, how much did they charge? What kind of services did they provide? Your toe tapped repeatedly as you stepped outside your fence, trying not to pace.
Would you need one, or multiple? Were you going to have to get materials from the nearby city by yourself, or would they do that? If the former, how?
“I need an adult,” you lamented, your shoulders slouching and arms folding over your chest. “I wanna die. I’m not mature enough for this shit.”
You recalled what your mother told you often when you were younger: ‘not everything at once.’
Easier said than done. Sleep on it, one step at a time, break it down into shorter tasks, nothing was taking the edge off your stress.
“I’ll just start with the grass,” you muttered, eventually succumbing to the need to pace. “I have to start somewhere, and I’ll need to get rid of that before anything else can be done. Oh, but, fuck, there’s so much of it…not to mention debris, rocks…do they still make scythes? Can’t launch a pebble with a scythe. No, wait, that’d be so much more effort and take more time…”
A flicker of alabaster down the road caught your eye, halting your hurried back-and-forth roving and hushed bleating.
Satoru was always easy to spot from a distance. It was hard not to see him when his hair redirected the sun like a mirror, blinding anyone who saw him from the wrong angle. He was the angel on your shoulder with the personality of the devil, urging you to dive into your most heinous and blasphemous thoughts. The light bouncing off his head created a glowing aura around it, resembling a silver halo, further pushing that deceptive angel motif.
Would the halo turn gold in the light of the crimson rays of fading day?
You uncrossed your arms, ready to greet him, only to notice the man beside him. They were conversing, and the latter must have said something funny, as the former guffawed hysterically. It echoed off the mountains on either side of the valley, reaching you with no concern for distance.
Did such bellows reach across the entire settlement, or was it localized, feeling louder than it actually was due to an echo chamber effect?
Gojo’s cachinnation dissipated when the pair were close enough to you, at which point he waved his hand high in the air to greet you avidly, like you weren’t only 20 feet from them.
“Hey! Didn’t keep ya waitin’ too long, did we?”
Truthfully, the fifteen or so minutes you had been waiting for them had gone by in a flash when you were so deeply buried in your spiraling thoughts while remembering dumb shit sprinkled into your internal ranting. The only evidence of your anticipation for their arrival being the barely present ache in your heels from where you rested most of your weight on them.
“No, not long,” you assured, fighting hard to keep your eyes off his friend for however long possible, vainfully clinging to your sanity. You knew that as soon as you centered your vision on him, your ability for conscious thought would evaporate.
You wanted to present yourself as at least marginally normal as a first impression, though you doubted you were achieving that by avoiding the obvious third presence. You were surely coming off as rude, you really should–
“This one's Geto Suguru,” Gojo introduced the noiret by his side, nipping your overthinking at the bud.
At last, your full attention was guided to him.
Oh.
Oh. That was a mistake.
‘This one’ was breathtaking.
His midnight hair caught the sunlight in a scintillating iridescence that shifted between the deepest phthalo blue you’d ever seen and a mesmerizing sheen of violet when the light caught it just right, like the feathers of a raven. It struck you how glossy and luxuriously silky it was, and you wanted to pull it out of the high bun he kept it in to run your fingers through it endlessly. That one loose section of his bangs that hovered over his eye was just so cute, your digits itched to tug on it.
And, speaking of, those eyes.
Sharp enough to cut diamonds and make you stand straighter. Heat rose to your cheeks as he observed you, head cocked to the side with a smooth and sweet smile that absolutely melted your insides like soft-serve ice cream, lily-livered and defenseless against the blazing sun incarnate in the form of a man.
They were dark, yet warm; a rich chocolate in hue that you could swear had flecks of gold within and rings of wisteria coiling around his abyssal pupils.
He was tall and foreboding, just like Satoru, but in a completely different fashion. He was the radiant Sol, pacifying and precious heat licking at your skin, soothing away the frostbite of winters long past.
Beside him stood the Moon, reflective and brilliant and so goddamn cocky that it made your cheeks hurt – whether from biting the insides of them to hide back a smile, or to prevent yourself from smacking that shameless attitude out of him, you didn’t know. It didn’t matter.
Satoru’s pearly locks contrasted sharply with Suguru’s obsidian lace, providing a striking visual. These godly beings towered over you, imposing and otherworldly and too good to be true, yet you knew your imagination could never come up with men like them.
And you?
You poor, dear, sweet, dumb little lamb. A pathetic speck caught in the gravity they created. Two black holes, eager to suck you in and rip you to shreds, and you were tempted to let them, practically falling into them without their overwhelming influence affecting you.
Their presence, their power, their very existence that demanded you drop to your knees to worship and beg like the tragic whore you were dominated your consciousness, filling it with fantasies you hadn’t experienced in…gods, ever. Nobody exuded the same aura they did, nobody made you weak-kneed and left you aching between your thighs, not like this. They created a desire in you that you wanted to have fulfilled – needed, even.
The pop of your knuckle in your fist that you had subconsciously created managed to snap you from your revere and back into the present, reminding you that, perhaps, you should do something, rather than drool like an idiot.
You’ve gone fucking crazy. That was it, the last straw, the last hauntingly magnificent person. Why, oh, why did you move here?
With no small amount of embarrassment at the realization that your panties were a bit more damp than they were a minute ago, you clenched your jaw hard enough to anchor yourself, and made a mental note to get rid of the problem between your legs as soon as you were alone and could succumb to the pleasure, the yearning, you hadn’t experienced in ages.
As well as pretend it wasn’t caused by them, the iconic duo that had you in a mental fit.
Hoping you hadn’t made a total fool of yourself, you turned and bowed respectfully, saying your name in return as you stared at the ground in an attempt to clear your mind of the filth it created on its own, unprompted. “It's a pleasure to meet you, Geto-san.”
Suguru studied you for a few seconds (don’t look at me like that, please, I’m begging you, spare me), then faced the male beside him with an amused expression. “Are you sure this is the same girl you were telling me about? The brat?”
Oh, heavens, that voice.
Fire exploded across your cheeks and pooled deep in the lower pits of your stomach when you heard him say that word; enunciate it clearly, croon it in that damned tone that had electricity jolting up your spine.
Not now, slut. Focus.
It was significantly easier to ignore the unholy fantasies plaguing your sanity when you centered all that pent up energy into being annoyed at Satoru, questioning your already questionable friendship when you learned of what he called you in private. Your eyes narrowed into an icy glare, primed and deadly. To your agitation and further chagrin, he only smirked boyishly at you.
“That’s the one,” he replied with a widening grin as he tucked his hands into the pockets of his pants.
“She's far too polite,” Geto countered.
Satoru snorted. “Trust me, she's a spitfire.”
“Is that so…” The onyx-haired man bent down to come closer to your face, and your breath hitched in your throat, refusing to come out properly. His scent embraced you. Mild, pleasant, like warm chai and jasmine, making your muscles instinctively loosen.
His eyes softened into closed curves as he beamed at you. You really hoped he couldn't read your mind. There was nothing holy or sane in there.
“Your name is lovely as is,” he murmured as his voice lowered into a roguish octave, “but I think I have a better one in mind.”
“W-What?” Your own vocal cords strained just to get the one word out in a wimpy squeak, and of course you just had to stutter. Whereas the air Satoru emitted naturally made you want to tackle him to the ground, Suguru’s wrapped around you like wisps of incense smoke, soothing and gently demanding your obsession with its fragrance. It inexplicably made you want to thaw into a puddle, to give him your full and undivided focus.
His canines peeked through from the way his lips curled further, entertained by your sudden timidness. He remained quiet, merely viewing your reactions as he lifted a hand to loop a strand of your hair around his finger and by the gods, don’t look at his fingers and how long and big they are and how perfect they’d feel–
“Angel,” the man said, practically cooing it at you.
You stifled a croak, verbally cuffed out of your totally, positively, very wholesome thoughts. “What?”
If you could die from embarrassment and be let out of this hell hole, you’d keel over on the spot when he simpered. “Angel,” he so graciously repeated for you. “I believe it suits you quite well. Wouldn’t you say so, Satoru?”
Satoru was having the time of his life, you were sure of it. You could feel him staring into you, see that stupid sexy fucking smile on his face from the corner of your eye as he teased you and, shit, why were you in the middle of this? Had you committed some heinous sin? Was this your punishment?
“I don’t know,” he hummed in deliberation. “I prefer bunny. Or mochi.”
“Mochi?” You and Suguru questioned at the same time, swiveling to regard the alabaster man.
Gojo nodded. “Small, probably tastes sweet, squishy.”
“Squishy?” You gaped incredulously, relocating your befuddled scrutiny to Geto when he burst out into laughter.
“I can see it,” Suguru coincided, earning himself a pretty nasty glare, too.
You groaned and tilted your face up, pleading with the sky to give you strength. “Don’t you start, too. One Satoru is enough, thanks.”
He hummed and smirked, something mischievous twinkling in his eyes. You didn't like that countenance. Not one bit. “Well, it’s a pleasure to meet you, too,” he bowed his head towards you, changing the subject. Thank fuck. “You moved here recently, yes?”
“Yeah,” you affirmed, molling the racing of your heart that was just a few beats short of being uncomfortable. “Technically the night before yesterday.”
“You had a safe trip, then, I hope?”
You sent the stone stepping path partially hidden by the overgrown grass a particularly scathing grimace. “I almost ate shit and died on my own porch, but I did, yes.”
His husky laugh was messing up your insides. “Glad you’re in one piece. It was the stepping stones, wasn’t it?”
“Yes, oh, my god. They’re out to kill me, I swear.”
“They’ve gotten me a couple times, too. It’s good to see this house will finally be getting some love.”
“I think you’re the only person that’s been positive about this so far,” you scratched your cheek with your index finger. “Everyone else has told me it’s grossly dangerous. Wish I’d known that before I skimped out on finding a place to stay for the first night…”
Suguru’s browline furrowed in disquietude. “You slept in there?”
You exhaled harshly and hung your head. “Don’t remind me.”
“You aren’t feeling sick, are you?”
You shook your head and patted his arm reassuringly. “No, just humiliated.”
His expression relaxed, the hardness in his deep maroon eyes tempering. “That’s good. If you do feel ill, don’t brush it off. Excess activity can worsen your health and prolong sicknesses.”
Aww, a mother hen? He was in your good books now, you felt all fluffy, being cared for by him. “I’ll keep that in mind, thank you.”
Satoru pushed his way between you two, resting one arm on Suguru’s shoulder and the other on your head, coveting your attention. “So, what’s the plan, mochi?”
“Good question,” you said.
There was a brief pause, as if you were all waiting for someone else to speak, before he leaned down towards you. “Well?”
“What?”
“The plan? What’s the plan?” He lifted a brow.
“Oh,” you darted your eyes between them. “Oh, no, I don’t have one. I just said it’s a good question.”
Suguru frowned. “Nothing at all?”
You pulled up your notes app and scrolled through it. “I guess cut the lawn, and call up the folks on Granny’s list for starters.”
“Can I see her list?”
“Mm,” you held out the paper to him, cringing when you saw how your fingers wrinkled the corner of it out of stress.
A crease in his forehead formed, deepening the more names he read, making you nervous. On top of how nervous you were already feeling. You were nervous-squared now.
“What is it?” You asked.
“It’s nothing. Just…I don’t think any of these guys will have enough free time to help you out. Not for a while, anyway,” he returned the sheet to you. “However, I grew up assisting them, so I know a thing or two. Mind if I go inside?”
Well, if that wasn’t soul crushing. “If you have a gas mask, go ahead. The smell inside could knock out a grown man. I don’t want to trouble you, though.”
“It’s no trouble at all. I’ve been needing something to do these days, this could be the perfect excuse for me,” he assured you. “I’ll be quick.”
“Oh– hang on, there might be asbestos in there,” you warned.
“There isn’t,” he assured confidently.
Satoru narrowed his eyes. “How do you know? Huh? Were you there when this house was built? Didn’t think so.”
Suguru leveled him with a vacant lour. “Asbestos wasn’t used in the construction of any houses here. Besides being expensive to import, our village was constructed with traditional methods. This building was Western inspired, but it wasn’t built with Western methods.”
You crossed your arms over your chest, nervously picking at a spot on your forearm. “Who built it?”
“From what I know, it was someone from either Kobe or Osaka that visited a state in America on vacation and fell in love with the architecture. First thing they did when they came back was buy this plot of land and build an imitation house on it,” he answered.
“Why’d they leave?”
He raised a hand, then dropped it in a half-shrug. “Any number of reasons. Some of the older folks say that their spouse fell ill, and they had to return to the city. My mom says they moved out because they got sick of driving an hour and a half one way to get to work every day. Dad says their sister gave birth and they had to return and assist her since she worked full time. Who knows.”
“Eh?” Satoru’s expression twisted into one of confusion. “I thought the owner just died or something. Hence why the house is haunted.”
“The house isn’t haunted, Satoru. Don’t scare her.”
You cracked your knuckles one-by-one. “If it is haunted, I’m gonna give that realtor hell. He promised it wasn’t. He also promised it hadn’t been touched in only ten years, so he’s already on my list,” you growled, then deflated and wilted. “I suppose I’m not in any rush, I’ll need to save up anyway. I’m bumming off Satoru for now, but I don’t wanna prolong that.”
“I already told you,” he patted your upper back. “Stay as long as you need.”
“Thanks, Satoru. I really owe you,” you said. I hate owing people. “Oh– be careful, Geto-san.”
He gave a pacifying hand wave as he pushed past your open gate, heading towards your house. Satoru hopped up and hurried after him. “Oi, wait up! I wanna see, too!”
“Satoru, you’ve already been in there before,” Suguru reminded him as you followed them about halfway, wanting to steer clear of the inside for a while.
Satoru twisted the door knob and pushed inwards. “Yeah, when we were kids. Imagine how much it’s changed!”
“I doubt it’s changed much,” their voices grew muffled and eventually silent to you as they disappeared into your home.
You began counting in your head. If they were gone for more than two minutes, you were going to assume they died. Then you could officially label the house as haunted and hunt that realtor’s ass down. After you set up a prayer altar for the boys who so bravely sacrificed their lives for you, obviously, they deserved that at the very least.
You’d have to check with the villagers to see if either of them practiced any particular faith to ensure you provided the correct funeral services for them, and to know if you needed to follow any specific spiritual rules when it came to the deceased.
Should you leave their bodies in there? Probably not, no, but it wasn’t going to be you fishing them out. You were tiny compared to them, you wouldn’t be able to drag them out yourself, even if you wanted to and tried really hard.
Your peculiar funeral fantasies were cut off when Suguru came back outside, still very much alive and well – from what you could tell.
“You lived,” you congratulated him.
“That I did,” he affirmed and stopped beside you, turning to face the house as his arms folded neatly.
“Is he still alive?”
“Last I checked, he was. I’m surprised he didn’t leave as soon as he went in. I think he’s trying to out-man me and impress you,” he teased, making you laugh.
Out came Satoru right then, dusting his hands off, acting like he did anything more than recce. “Alright, I’ve got good news and bad news. Which d’ya want first?”
“Good news,” you requested apprehensively.
He clapped his palms together. “Good news, the interior condition isn’t as bad as it seems.”
Well, that was good news. But you were wary to celebrate. “And the bad news…?”
“There are, indeed, a shit ton of spiders.”
You squealed, racing to hide behind Suguru’s tall frame. The man himself chuckled at your reaction, his arms still crossed over his chest as he tilted his head back to peer at you from over his shoulder, way too relaxed for the situation. “Not a fan of spiders?”
“Fuck no!” You cried out, clutching the back of his shirt in tight fists as you buried your face against his spine. “Fuck that! Burn the damn thing down!”
Gojo grinned darkly, eyes lighting up with mischief. “All you had to say, princess.”
The noiret (the only reasonable one among you) sighed and shook his head. “No, we’re not burning her house down.”
“Boo,” Satoru whined. “You’re no fun.”
“You aren't afraid of spiders?” You peeked around Suguru's arm to leer up at him, still using him as your shield.
“Nope.”
“You monster,” you hissed.
His best friend snorted. “Look on the bright side. It means he can get rid of spiders for you.”
You paused to consider his words, squinting up at the poised man you hadn’t let go of.
“Okay, nevermind, I take it back,” you declared, doing a complete flip in behavior, “you're my god, now, Geto-san.”
He showed you that shut-eyes smile that had hummingbirds dancing the tango in your stomach. “Don’t worry, angel. I’ll protect you.”
Blush dusted your cheeks at his pledge and you averted your eyes. Having either of them in your field of view for too long was not good for your heart.
Satoru wouldn’t be Satoru if he didn’t go and embarrass you further. “Aww, she’s blushing!”
“I am not!” You barked back.
“I think it’s cute,” Geto’s cheek dimpled and you were flashbanged by the faces of not one, but two ethereal beings.
Mama, you thought, if you can hear me, send help. I don’t think I’m making it out of this one.
You gulped, the noise far too loud in your ears, and tried to subtly cover your face with your hand to retain some dignity while releasing Suguru’s shirt from your death grip. “A-Anyways, uh…should probably start calling people.”
“I’ll handle the calls,” Suguru announced, already pulling out his phone and dialing numbers. “I know these guys well. I’ll try to work something out with them.”
“Oh, you really don’t–” and there he went. You knew you asked for help, but you felt bad inconveniencing Suguru. Satoru, not so much.
“What’d I say about worrying?” Speak of the devil, the milk-haired boy bent down to your height and nudged his pointer finger between your brows. “Relaaaax, princess. It’ll work out.”
You worried your bottom lip as you watched the other man chatting some distance away. Detaching yourself from your perpetual anxiety was…difficult, to describe it in the least amount of words possible. Your guard was stuck to you, pinned, screwed, and soldered into place over time. Letting it go meant undoing years of work.
It was there to shield you. You needed it to hold your untempered heart and keep it safe. If it got hurt, you weren’t sure you knew how to recover.
But you weren’t really letting them in by allowing them to help you, right?
Yet, as you sized up the small incline and the shack falling apart on top of it, you couldn’t shake the impression that the world was about to tilt on its axis. The tides were receding, tectonic pressure was increasing, the winds were stirring, and you were in the middle of it all. Mama, you reached out one last time. I think it’s too late.
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#Tether Me#jjk x reader#gojo x reader#satoru x reader#gojo satoru x reader#satoru gojo x reader#geto x reader#suguru x reader#geto suguru x reader#suguru geto x reader#satosugu x reader#chimera writes
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Life Update + Postcards from Mount Pulag
If there's one thing I'm particularly proud of that I did this year in the name of self-care, it is using my Apple Watch for what it was designed to do and being mindful of closing my rings on the Fitness App, which includes meeting my Move, Stand, and Exercise requirements for the day.
Last weekend, I went on my first major walk this year, to Mount Pulag in Benguet, the majestic and highest mountain in Luzon. For the first time ever, I was able to set a *drum roll please* record-breaking 42K steps, perhaps more because my watch died in the middle of the climb. It never occurred to me to go on this ALMOST 10-hour hike until J, who by the way was a famous OG Tumblr influencer during the peak Tumblr era circa 2012 (if you know him, mag-asawa ka na hahaha), introduced me to the idea of going to Baguio (I haven’t been to Baguio since forever) and eventually having to explore Mount Pulag after. J and I have known each other for over 12+ years, but it was only this year that we began to see each other more frequently; he is also the person who introduced and challenged me to finish my rings on the Fitness app. I began this "ring" journey at the end of March, but I wasn't fully committed until I started seeing some, hmm, what's the word, "changes" when I started monitoring my InBody results, which show my weight, BMI, muscle mass, and even body fat percentage decreasing. Long story short, I'm making some small progress with trying to make my BMI normal again. Hey, don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to paint the typical fitness buff image with raging, strong-looking muscles, because that's not who I am, but I wanted to give myself credit also for losing 10kgs in just 4 months, and I'm not even pulling my hair out about it, just that awareness of "Did I close my rings today?" moment. Like I told J, I never expected accountability to feel this good. So I'm quite delighted with that.
Enough of the fitness thingee and going back to Mount Pulag, I'm so happy that we were able to pull it off this year. We started by staying in Baguio for 2 days which by the way the weather was THE. BEST. Having to walk around the city in layered clothes without breaking a sweat as a pawisin was HEAVEN. It was something that I missed when I went back to Manila. After 2 days, we headed straight to Kabayan, Benguet, where our homestay was located, and by midnight started our trek to Pulag summit. The trek was surprisingly easy. The quiet and quaint landscapes while on our way to the summit were something that I enjoyed so much. It was tiring and yes, the weather was extremely cold. Miss Hypothermia is REAL especially on the summit but with the right amount of clothing, it's no biggie. Just do a little bit of research before signing up for the hike and you'll be just fine. On that trip, we met and bonded with new faces which I hope soon will become friends because they're nice to be with which made the hike bearable. Being the beach person that I am which is very OBVIOUS on this blogosphere, exploring the mountains and the countryside was very refreshing to see and I kinda wanted to make that commitment to at least do this at least once a year. Let's see!
(No Light Pollution? Here's the Milky Way captured in the default iPhone camera app.)
Overall, the Mountain Province trip including late-night walks in Baguio, wandering to places and cafés and bar hopping walking side to side because we’re drunk AF, and then Mount Pulag was something I'm so grateful for that I get to check them out this year. There were "unplanned" and "down" moments on that trip, sure, but I guess that's just normal, especially since I'm with the person I wanted to get to know more, and J, if you're reading this, thank you. I feel like all the things that happened on that trip have a reason and I just wanna say thank you for being…you. I will not be surprised if one day that rough idea of a psycho-thriller slasher movie we kind of created while sitting on a bus will soon come to life. Write that fucking screenplay. PLEASE.
So that's my not-so-quick life update that no one asked about. I think I mentioned before in this space that the more I have something "major" going on with my life whether professional or personal, I am less inclined to talk about it versus in my heyday, loud, teenage years and I think that's what really living is all about. Touch some grass they say, and literally, I did that in the mountains of Mount Pulag, and those memories which I hope I could bottle, and that seeing something so beautiful is enough to remind me that everything's gonna be alright.
Siri, play Gravity by Sara Bareilles, JOSHY
(Mountain Province, July 2024)
#J#gravityy#photography#Mount pulag#benguet#philippines#hiking#nature#landscape#analog#film#journal#wanderlust#travel#nature photography#trees#forest#life#reflection#blog#thoughts#baguio city#mountain province#Fitness
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Heal Together: Chapter 2
(Bradley 'Rooster' Bradshaw fic)
I'm like completely overwhelmed that anyone has even read the first chapter of my fic, well alone liked and/or reblogged it! Thank you guys so much!
This chapter is a little bit of filler, just a heads up. But I hope you all like it anyways.
Masterlist
Word Count: 2.0k
There were a lot of people surrounding Rooster’s bed, they all introduced themselves but the only thing he could really think about was how scared he was for them to pull this tube out of his throat. The doctor told him that there’s always a chance he might not respond well and they’ll have to place another one. And good god, that was the last thing he wanted. The sedation medications, being unable to talk, having to have his throat suctioned constantly, and listening to the never ending sounds of the machines were his own personal hell. And the prep before this was its own level of horrible. They put a vest on him that shook him violently to loosen any crap that had built up low in his lungs while he was intubated. Then they deep suctioned the shit outta his throat, it was so uncomfortable but Y/N promised it was all to help him and keep him from getting sick again and having to be intubated again.
He looked over at Y/N and prayed that she could say something to make him feel better. All of his friends and Mav were still on the aircraft carrier in God knows where, so Y/N was the only familiar face. He guesses he could’ve called Penny, Mav’s girlfriend, but it’s a Saturday morning, she should be spending time with Amelia and getting ready for another crazy night at the Hard Deck.
“So what’s gonna happen is: I’m gonna sit your bed up really high and place a pad under your chin since a lot of gunk might come up with the tube. That’s completely normal.” Y/N explained calmly, “Brent, the guy on your left, is the respiratory therapist. He’s gonna ask you to cough a few times and on the last cough, he’s gonna pull the tube out.”
Bradley nodded, looking her straight in her beautiful, expressive eyes.
“Your throat’s gonna hurt and feel really dry, you probably won’t be able to talk for a little bit.” She continued, “But I’m gonna stay here and monitor you, listen to your lungs, suction out any more gunk, and maybe we can try swabbing your mouth with water to help with the dryness until you’re cleared to drink. Does that sound okay?”
The young doctor at the bedside scoffed, “Do we really need to have this much dialog? We have other patients to get to, Nurse.”
Y/N’s face hardened, “I am well aware that you all are busy. However, I’m not going to allow anything to happen to Lt. Bradshaw without his full informed consent, so I’m making sure he knows exactly what we’re doing. It’s his right.”
The older doctor smiled at Y/N, “This is why nurses are so important, they fill in the blanks for the patients. As physicians, we can get caught up in the science and the technicality of things but nurses are the people who remind us to remember that we’re taking care of the whole person.”
The young doctor rolled his eyes.
Y/N smiled at the older doctor and shot the young doc a look that said, Bite me, bitch. She then looked at Rooster and asked, “You ready?”
Rooster nodded slowly, he was so scared.
“It’s okay that you’re scared.” She placed a comforting hand on his shoulder, “But you see Brent, the one literally doing the damn thing to you? He’s not scared and I’m not scared ”
Brent smiled, “Not one bit. And all of those docs in their fancy white coats, they OK’d me to do this. That means they’re not scared either.”
Rooster felt a rush of calm wash over him, Y/N trusted these people, so he had no reason not to as well.
“Ready man?” Brent asked.
Bradley nodded.
Y/N sat the bed up so that he was sitting tall and placed an absorbent pad under his chin, “Let’s do it!”
“Give me a few coughs, Lieutenant.” Brent instructed.
Rooster coughed uncomfortably, it felt so weird with this thing on his throat.
“One last big cough.” Brent said.
With his next cough the tube was out and Rooster couldn’t help but continue to cough and dry heave. All the doctors’ eyes were glued to the numbers on his monitor, the only one looking at him was Y/N.
She wiped all the spit and nastiness off of his face carefully and talked to him quietly, “That’s it, let it out. You’re doin’ great.”
A few moments later the older doctor said, “His oxygen sats look great. Let us know if anything changes, Y/N.”
Y/N nodded, “Will do. Can I get a standing supplemental oxygen order? Just in case his sats start to decline.”
“Of course, Carl– I mean… Dr. Parks will put those in for you right away.” The old doc looked over at the very displeased younger doctor.
Once the doctors all assessed him and felt okay leaving the room, it was just Rooster and Y/N. He gestured towards his white board, there was no way in hell he could talk yet.
Y/N happily passed it to him and proceeded to start her own assessment, listening to his lungs with her stethoscope.
That young doc is an asshole. Rooster wrote.
Y/N snorted, taking her stethoscope out of her ears and setting it to rest around her neck, “For the sake of professionalism, no comment.”
Can you call Maverick and tell him I’m okay?
“Yeah, of course.” She pulled a pen and a slip of paper out of her scrub pocket, “Just write down his full name and number.”
█ ✪ █▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓█ ✪ █
“Hi Captain Mitchell, this is Y/N and I’m Lieutenant Bradshaw’s nurse today.” You tried your best to sound as not nervous as possible. You always hated sitting at the nurses station and calling family members on the phone, usually because it was to give bad news or tell them to come to the hospital quickly to say goodbye. At least this time it was something positive.
“Oh my god,” The man choked on the other end of the line, “Is– Is he okay?”
“Yes, he’s fine. I’m sorry for scaring you.” You fiddled with the long phone cord, “He’s actually doing great. We took him off the ventilator about an hour ago and he’s breathing really well on his own. He’s working with physical therapy now, they have him out of bed and sitting in a chair.”
You could hear the joy in the man’s voice, “That’s incredible! Oh my god! I can’t wait to tell everyone, we’ve all been so worried. Can I speak to him?”
“Not quite yet, he’s not able to talk yet and will be hoarse for a little while.” You explained, twisting from side to side in the swiveling chair, “But I can see if we can charge up his phone so he can text you and call when he’s able to.”
“Thank you so much for the update, Y/N.” Capt. Mitchell gushed, “I usually have to call first for updates but this was such a great surprise.”
“Well one of the first things Bradley asked me to do for him after his extubation was call you and let you know that he’s okay.”
He let out a happy sigh on the other end of the phone, “Did he really? That’s so good to hear. Tell him I’ll be home soon and my first stop will be to see him.”
You nodded, “Will do, Capt. Mitchell. You have a great rest of your day.”
“You as well, I know you’re taking great care of him.” And the call cut off right there.
“Ooooh look at you, big shot.” You couldn’t help but smile seeing Bradley sitting up in a chair and channel surfing on the crappy hospital TV.
Bradley picked up his white board and marker from the table beside him, Did you talk to Mav?
“You mean Capt. Mitchell?” You confirmed and Bradley nodded, “He said he’ll be home soon and his first stop will be to come see you. But hopefully you’ll have busted out of this joint before then.”
Bradley raised his eyebrows and scribbled, You think so?
You shrugged logging into the computer by his bed and starting to organize his 3pm medications, “I mean, I can’t say for sure. I know that you military dudes can’t tell people exactly where you’re going or when you’re coming home on your deployments. But if things keep going as well as they are, it seems like a good possibility you could be transferred to a step-down unit and then hopefully discharged in the next week or so.”
Bradley started writing again, I don’t want to go to another unit. I want to keep you as my nurse.
You giggled, “Well that is incredibly kind of you to say, but the best part of my job is seeing patients get well enough to be transferred to a lower acuity unit and then eventually discharged.”
Bradley pouted and drew a big fat frowny face on the whiteboard.
“You were a lot less sassy with that tube down your throat, Bradshaw.” You teased as you crossed the room with his meds, hanging them on the IV pole and programming the pump.
Pumping me up with poison? He smirked as he wrote.
“Nah, just antibiotics to treat that pesky infection that almost killed you and brought you in here.”
Damn, I was hoping you were gonna say they’re steroids to get me yolked. He flashed a mischievous grin at you.
You scoffed, “I took a pledge when I finished nursing school not to harm my patients and I considered giving them drugs that would shrink their balls and give them breasts doing harm.”
Bradley snorted and let out a hoarse laugh. Though it was very quiet, you could tell it was a great laugh.
“Hey Y/N, I’m taking room 4 back from you.” Carly, the young nurse from the morning, sat in the empty chair next to you at the nurses station.
“Oh great, do you want a full report or are you good with just the updates?” You asked, pulling out your notes from the day.
She clicked her pen, “Updates are just fine.”
“So the biggest news is that he was extubated today.” You grinned.
“Really?!” She gasped, “I’ve been pushing for that but the resident kept saying no.”
“Parks?” You inquired.
She nodded and sighed, “Yeah, have you met him?”
“Unfortunately.” You rolled your eyes, “I think he shares similar feelings about me as I do him.”
“I hope you gave him hell.” She giggled, “I’m still a new grad, so I don’t have enough experience under my belt to push back very much.”
“Well if he gives you any grief on your shift, don’t let it get to you. He’s also a new grad doctor, he’s also still learning.” You assured her then went on to finish your report.
“Hey Bradley, I’m headed out for the night. Carly’s gonna be taking care of you and I’ll be back tomorrow.” You entered the room with Carly by your side.
“Thank you…” Bradley croaked, “For everything…”
Your heart melted a little bit, you knew it took a lot of effort to get the words out, “You are more than welcome. And I’ll see you tomorrow. Hopefully we’ll get you transferred to a less intense unit.”
Rooster pouted and did a big thumbs down gesture.
You giggled, “That’s a great thing, Bradshaw. You don’t wanna be stuck in the ICU with me forever.”
He sassily rolled his eyes.
“Carly and I are gonna sign off some meds and check your lines.” You said, “And don’t give my girl too much sass tonight; she will be reporting back to me in the morning.”
Rooster scribbled on his whiteboard, No promises.
#bradley rooster bradshaw x reader#bradley bradshaw x reader#rooster x reader#bradley rooster bradshaw x y/n#rooster x y/n#top gun maverick fic#bradley rooster bradshaw fic#rooster x you#bradley bradshaw x you#bradley bradshaw x y/n#top gun fic#top gun maverick fanfiction
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