#but its time to let it go bc way too much of my brian power went into this

[ngage2003]

✰ Some of Gage's Tim Wright DID Headcanons/Ideas (DIDeas, hey get it?)

Ok so I have talked a fair bit on my blog about Tim being a system, but I wanted to make a post real quick talking about several ideas I have around his systemhood bc I am going crazy and need to share them.

✦ Hey! If you like this and want to hear more about my Tim system stuff, check out my tag #ng.systim.

Alright, so I think a lot of/most of Tim's system has been around for a very long time, as in he doesn't split too often. Usually when they do, parts end up getting reabsorbed, leading to a very small system count that the active parts are aware of.

(Of course, there are always some parts hiding in headspace/the subconscious, but they're impossible to find unless they want to be.)

I think Tim's system doesn't have a headspace in the stereotypical sense, and generally when they're not fronting, it is sort of like they're asleep, though I think people like Masky would object to that characterization because he doesn't ever really sleep/dream. Usually when he goes to bed, Tim wakes up.

✱ Speaking of "Masky"! I have talked about this a couple times but I think he would end up going by the name "Angel" after hearing about the concept of Guardian Angels, as that is literally what he is to Tim. I also see him as a sort of "Protector" archetype, having formed probably around the same time that Tim did as a young child and acting to take on dealing with the trauma for him.

I think Masky's femininity comes from the fact that they (the system as a whole) as a young child idolized their mother as this protective force, this bulwark that was impenetrable and fierce and powerful. They tied all that to her femininity to some extent, and when Masky formed, they were feminine because that was what they associated with strength and protection.

I think Tim and Masky are somewhat equals though, but Masky is also deeply in love with Tim in the way only a protector alter can be. "My purpose is to keep you safe and I love you for it." It is this genuine deep affection, and I think if Tim were to discover Masky, there could be some proper feelings returned eventually after the initial scare.

"Ok but if Masky loves Tim so much why does he work with Brian and get their leg broken??"

Well, I think Brian was both of their first best friend. Whenever Tim was overstimulated and/or scared, whether that be by people or an upcoming final, Masky would front. Brian obviously didn't know this and was just like, "huh wow my buddy Tim is being weird and quiet!" And his kindness left a profound effect on Masky.

Early in Marble Hornets, Masky visits Brian's house regularly despite him being long gone, locking it when he isn't there. Yeah it is a mess, but its being watched over.

I think Brian approached him after Jay got the tapes to ask for his help. I think before then, Brian was in hiding but this isn't a post about him. I think despite being a protector, Masky agreed to help Brian because of how kind he was to him, a mistake he later fully rescinds when Brian causes Tim to have a seizure.

Masky deeply regrets this, and is in turmoil after it for the rest pf the series, leading to their spotty fronting besides protecting Tim in Entry 65 after once again being triggered out by seizures.

Ok that is enough rehashing of other older points lets talk about the idea of— ✱ Other Parts

I think its very possible that Tim at least has a little alter. I haven't given it too much thought, but I think there is stuff hidden around their living space for the little¹, crayons and pencils and spare papers, these doodles hidden under the bed. I also think they have a stuffed animal from when Tim was a kid at one, something Tim keeps meaning to throw out but always ends up back in bed.

[1] An alter/part that earnestly believes they are and acts younger than the body. They aren't real kids but often will experience distress at being reminded of that or not treated like a kid, and generally will struggle with emotional reasoning or processing stuff, as a child might. Often they're the most protected members of a system.

I think there is probably several points where they accidentally front in front of other people, but Tim's little is very anxious and quiet, leading to them being undetected.

I could honestly see them fronting while Tim and Jay are living at motels for that brief period of time, and Jay just being confused why Tim suddenly got emotional and started crying a bit and not communicating. (The little doesn't have their plush and is upset.)

Jay ends up sitting with him and rubbing his back, and it feels like such a crazy thing to do with Tim of all people—stalwart, endlessly brave Tim—but Jay does it, and it helps.

I think Jay doesn't mention it tomorrow because he doesn't want to upset/embarrass Tim and quite obviously, Tim doesn't remember.

I think Tim's childhood stuffed animal is a dog of some kind, and he simply forgot to bring it.

Alsooo I do not think Tim's system really has introjects²? (I say this mostly because I don't know what the fuck media they'd be from lmao.) But I do think there is an alter which holds more of the musical talent between them all. Not all of it, but they just remember more. I think they also know how to play piano along with ukulele and if given the chance they'd love to make little ditties to impress people.

[2] Alters whose personalities are based off of an interpretation of a character held by another specific alter or the general subconscious. Sometimes they think of themselves literally as the character but not always.

I don't have a name for them, as I don't really either for the little, but this bard I think would enjoy dressing a bit more colorful than Tim usually does.

Also could see them having a very aggressive persecutor³-trauma holder alter who split off of Masky during when they were in the hospital. Generally I think Masky was even more aggressive during this time due to his system feeling so threatened and dehumanized and him feeling powerless to protect/take care of them, and it resulted in a very harsh split after Masky lit the fire in the hospital to escape. This led to them "chilling out" a bit for college, but also a very aggressive persecutor who lurks in the back of their mind.

[3] Put it simply, a protector who doesn't know how to be a protector. Persecutors are often very angry about the trauma and very hurt, leading to them lashing out and trying to reenact trauma or push people away or whatever. They tend to be very emotional and hurt, and its important to empathize with them as a way to help them heal. Unfortunately no one in systim has done this yet.

I think their appearance in headspace would almost be sort of fiery/charred, this representation of retribution and anger that lashes out when anyone gets close. I could see them also having a mask since they split off from Masky, and were this product of futile rage that developed into something new! Though also obviously their mask would look a bit different. I dunno, that'd be fun.

(For us, if alters split off from one another like that, like if they're a part of that alter which splits off or a specific trauma, they will often look to some degree similar!)

I think they would very rarely front, at least on their own. Masky would be very cautious about that, and about them hurting the body or other people by lashing out. Because even when Masky is helping Brian or angry, he usually still has somewhat enough of a mind to be careful and deep down his main priority is Tim. (Though he doesn't always behave wisely/good and we loveeee a flawed protector 😁)

Anyway yeah those are my main thoughts I am a bit tired rn lol I might rb this with more later I hope you enjoyeddd

[szecretary]

Thoughts on the characters with mixed heritage in The Legend of Korra.

Ever since I started this blog, there has been one popular complaint that always confused me a little, and it is that some people have issues with the way the multicultural families were written in the show, especially Bumi II, Kya, Tenzin and the airbabies not displaying a more diverse sense of identity considering their different origins. 

I want to talk about this as someone of mixed heritage, living in a country where it’s very hard to find people who know with certainty where their ancestors came from. Keep this in mind before you get too mad at me for what I am about to say. I’m not saying I am right, or that having issues with this is wrong, I am simply explaining why I don’t consider this a flaw of the show.

First of all, the worldbuilding of Legend of Korra isn’t supposed to mirror the real world and how we understand identity and nationality, and it really can’t, even if we tried.

Both ATLA and TLOK are loosely inspired fantasy. None of the Four Nations correspond to only one real culture. Just from this standpoint, you can’t expect the relations between people from these nations to be like the ones of the real world, and if you add the in-universe concept of bending, one that carries not only hereditary but also philosophical significance, then the waters muddy even more. 

Second, there’s the issue that most if not all the characters of mixed heritage that we see in LOK live in Republic City, apart from that, each nation is still pretty ethnically homogeneous. 

Republic City is an anomaly, an one of a kind situation in both technological and cultural aspects, as it is the only major city in which people from all four nations coexist and mingle. It's a new-ish city, and there hasn’t been enough time for people to effectively combine many aspects of their cultures like we do in the real world. 

The first people to interact and live together in what is now Republic City were Fire Nation colonials and Earth Kingdom citizens, this is a huge issue in the comics, I'll come back to this. 

Considering all of that, we can now ask ourselves,“if Republic City was meant to be an unifying estate, why didn’t Aang and Katara raise Tenzin to have more than Air Nomad values?”

Well, I don’t think I have to remind you what happened to the Air Nomads.

I don’t think I have to explain why making an airbender, the only one born after the war, abandon air nomad values in favor of a life in the Southern Water tribe is a bad narrative decision. The Air Nation was on the brink of extinction, I don’t really think raising an airbender with Air Nomad values is bad parenting, or bad writing, for that matter. 

When the whole situation of the colony of Yu Dao is discussed in the comics, it’s pretty obvious that modernization poses a great danger to traditional ways of life. Katara even makes a point of saying that she saw herself and Aang in a family of Earth Kingdom and Fire Nation parents, that the existence of such a place is necessary if Aang and Katara have any hopes of sustaining their relationship without any of them giving up a huge part of their identities. They have to maintain those traditions, in their own ways, and still be together. 

We don't know the life the kids had before we see them in Republic City, and the anecdotes Bumi, Kya and Tenzin share are biased accounts, based on their own inner insecurities and how they interpret their upbringing. Kids tend to do that, especially children destined to fill big shoes.

The situation is vastly different than the one of the mixed family of Yu Dao, this is an union of an Air Nomad and a waterbender from the Southern Water Tribe, two cultures who have been heavily affected by war and imperialism, and two people who feel a duty to preserve their distinct culture and traditions.

That's my biggest issue with the arguments and nitpicks people come up with regarding this. Not only does this world only have a handful of nationalities and cultures, thus making the combination of two cultures much more difficult without one of them overshadowing the other, but these cultures are also heavily linked with, and influenced by, bending. I.e a waterbender will always be more drawn to the Water Tribes, their traditions and way of life are literally designed to be parts of their self concepts. Stripping them of those attributes diminishes the struggle of the Water Tribes IN UNIVERSE, but I’ll talk about Kya in a second.

Right now, let’s talk about the eldest son of Katara and Aang. 

Bumi is the one that displays the most interesting development regarding his identity as a mixed kid, choosing to integrate in the culture of this new place, to find his own way, only to reclaim his heritage as an Air Nomad after he gets bending. 

And that’s okay, because the Air Nation is the most spiritual and isolated of all, a fact that the new airbenders that reject Tenzin were aware of. 

Bumi had other wants in life, maybe being an Air Acolyte would’ve been hard for him, being the only non bender kid of Avatar Aang. Can’t you see the complexity? It makes sense. The way in which he went about finding his identity makes sense. 

Then there’s Kya. Why doesn’t Kya live on Air Temple island with Tenzin and Bumi? Why wasn’t she, along with Bumi, also tasked with preserving Air Nomad traditions?

Well, if you listen to what the text actually says, she chose to live in the SWT with Katara after Aang died. We learn that Kya didn’t stop traveling the world until her mother needed her. Which, I don’t know about you, but that sounds pretty nomadic of her. She was born after bumi, which means she already saw him not involve himself much in Air Nomad business, so she was free to do her own thing. 

Again, think of the implications. We can draw a few conclusions from this: 

Katara and Aang didn’t live in just one place prior to the foundation of Republic City, suggesting that Bumi, Tenzin and Kya were most likely born IN Republic City. 

Bumi was the first born, a non bender, he chose to integrate to the city life, only reconnecting with his Air Nomad heritage later in life. This is valid. 

Kya was born a waterbender, we don’t know how much time she spent in the SWT prior to the death of Aang, but she did spend some time travelling, much like an Air Nomad does, while still wearing traditional water tribe clothing. This is valid.

Tenzin, the only airbender, had the weight of continuing his fathers work of preserving the Air Nation on his own, in a way that, sadly, no Air Acolyte can. There was just not space for him to explore anything else, and that’s valid.

Finally, there’s the air babies, which fall in the same category as Tenzin. They are the only airbenders prior to Harmonic Convergence, they have a duty to preserve Air Nomad traditions. 

This world does not work like our own, people don’t mention they are a certain percentage of Water Tribe, Air Nomad, Fire Nation, or Earth Kingdom to make points. Just because they don’t wear clothes of more than one nation, doesn’t mean they don’t hold their heritage in great esteem. The story is just not about them, so we don’t see enough to really explore these characters, and if the history of the show was meant to reflect that, we would’ve seen it, but this isn’t the Grown Up ATLA show, it’s Legend of Korra. Color coding is just an asset in visual storytelling, you have to dig a little deeper than that to make judgements.

The reality is that all these characters are in a very special situation, in a very special time, and the natural evolution of cultures and traditions is slower than you think. If we get a new show or book series in a different avatar cycle, I think we’d see a much more balanced combination of each nation, from traditional wear to customs, but at the time we see them in Legend of Korra? It makes sense they’re still figuring things out, and are much more in tune with their element.

Kyoshi is an example of this idea, and she was born much before the Air Nomad genocide. She’s half air nomad, she knew this all her life, but as an earthbender, she’s much more connected to that side of her heritage, and her only connection to that was severed after she lost her guardian figure. Being half something didn’t make her more drawn to that on its own. It takes more than being a child of an airbender to consider yourself an Air Nomad.

Some of these characters are diaspora, like Mako and Bolin. They, too, live in Republic City, and they embody their roots in their own special way. Asami was designed to look like Fire Nation folk, but she doesn’t display any sentimental connection to the Fire Nation. There are many ways to write identity, and all of the depictions we see in Legend of Korra make sense if you think about it for more than two seconds. 

There are much more elements to consider, and it is much harder to work around identity when there’s literal elemental magic involved. So, I think we have to go much further than just “lok is bad because kataang’s kids don’t wear yellow and blue clothes.”

[aahsokaatano]

King I would love that essay about Changing Channels

Fjdjshjdhdjd thanks for reading my tags Jesse you're the real VIP here.

Okay SO "Changing Channels" is the 8th episode of the 5th season of Supernatural. I give this information bc it's important in looking at the context of the episode - now I've complained a LOT about how SPN is terrible at giving us canonical timeframes within the episodes (y'all i was SHOCKED to discover the first season is supposed to cover a little over a year's worth of time, I thought it was like... 4 or 5 months) so I can't say for sure how long before and after the other episodes happen in-universe around "Changing Channels" BUT

The episode before is "The Curious Case of Dean Winchester" where Dean and Bobby bet years of their lives in a game of poker with a witch. The episode after is "The Real Ghostbusters" where Sam and Dean end up at a fan convention for the in-universe Supernatural novels.

Why am I pointing this out? Because it's important, please, no audience participation, this is like a Brian David Gilbert panel.

[under a cut bc this got...... STUPID long. Who knew I still had this many opinions about SPN in 2020?]

Okay first of all I wanna talk about the cinnamon topography of this episode - I love the way the first 5 seasons are shot because you really feel the americana gothic horror aesthetic they were going for (I have a whole ‘nother rant about the first 5 seasons vs the last 10 but thats for another time). Everything is a little washed out and grey-toned, the camera angles generally serve to make Sam and Dean appear even taller than they actually are (larger than life - again, another post for another time), and there’s honestly a LOT of shots from the ‘monster’s’ perspective, which is really neat! I’ve said it before (on another blog - YES i have a dedicated spn rant blog, don’t @ me hdjfhfjfh) but the episode that really got me hooked on spn back in the day was the second one, about the w*ndigo. Yes, it’s a racist, culturally appropriating shitstorm, but the way its SHOT is fantastic. I’m honestly not a horror fan, but that episode could have easily relied on jumpscares and they DIDN’T and it was scary as all fucking hell and just - fuck okay getting off topic. 

In “Changing Channels” we get that distinctive grey-washed tone in the beginning and the very end of the episode, but the middle? When they’re in TV Land? Everything is bright. Almost comically so, I mean - okay look at these two shots of Sam (apologies about the crappy phone pics, netflix won't let me screenshot)

This one is from the start of the episode, in the "real" police station

And this is from a little later in the "TV" hospital

Ignoring that my phone is washing him out a lot in both pics, you can still see the warmer tones in the hospital shot as compared to the cold greyness in the police station one

Okay, now look at this picture

Dean inside the Impala, and those warm tones are back. Why? Because even though Sam and Dean believe that they’re back in the “real” world, they aren’t - so instead of the grey-washed shots that we’re used to, its the bright and warm shots that we see in “TV Land”! So the viewers pick up, even if its just subconsciously, that the boys aren’t out of the woods yet - everything is still too bright to be the in-universe reality we’ve come to expect from SPN by season 5

Which is also why i love this shift so much

These shots are literally SECONDS apart. The first is in "TV Land" and the second is in the "real" world. I have some red strip lights behind my bed, which are reflecting off my laptop screen - notice how much brighter they seem in the second picture? That’s because literally all of the warm colors have been drained out of the shot. As soon as Gabriel snaps them all back into “reality,” things get so much colder.

Okay, so the second thing I want to talk about is some of the very pointed dialogue choices within the “shows” the Winchesters take part in. Not between Sam and Dan and Gabriel, but from the, for lack of a better term, NPCs within the shows.

In the hospital, Dr. Piccolo tells Sam that he is “the finest cerebrovascular neurosurgeon I have ever met - and I have met plenty! So that girl died on your table; it wasn’t your fault. It wasn’t anybody’s fault. Sometimes people just die.” Standard cheesy soap opera dialogue - but lemme just swap some words here and - 

“You are the finest hunter I have ever met - and I have met plenty! So that girl died on your hunt; it wasn’t your fault. It wasn’t anybody’s fault. Sometimes people just die.”

Or even - 

“You are the finest hunter I have ever met - and I have met plenty! So Jessica and Mary died above you; it wasn’t your fault. It wasn’t anybody’s fault [but Azazel’s]. Sometimes people just die.”

Keeping in mind that the NPCs are basically Gabriel’s mouthpieces, its easy to see why so many people ship Sabriel. I’d actually love to see a fic that explores them talking about this moment in particular later on and the kind of gentle forgiveness that Gabriel can give Sam... getting off topic again.

In an abrupt about-face, the herpes commercial (much meme’d within the fandom) is straight up Gabriel shaming Sam. Because if you replace “genital herpes” with “demon blood” it’s.... dark. And very intentional.

So that’s what I did! (I combined all spoken lines to make the message easier to read, rather than splitting them up across 3 speakers as in the episode)

“I’ve drank demon blood. I tried to be responsible... did I try. But now, after being forcibly detoxed, I fight my addiction every day to reduce the chances of passing back into that toxic mindset. Ask your loved ones about a demon blood intervention today. [...] I am doing all I can to slightly lessen the chance of drinking demon blood again. And that’s a good thing.”

Like... the subtext throughout this episode sure is. Something.

Okay this is getting ridiculously long so I wanna wrap up by talking about The Best Scene In The Whole Goddamn Show

I’m talking, of course, about Gabriel’s Confession

“Max,” you might be saying, “there are so many better scenes out there, even within the first five seasons!” and to that i say, again, no audience participation, please. Also, you’re WRONG and here’s why!

Gabriel’s confession hits every goddamn emotional chord that the fandom begged for on this show - fear, rage, grief, pain, guilt, and even, yes, absolution. 

Okay, here’s the scene again for those of you who don’t think about it at least once a week like me

Now this video is missing some of the conversation, but most of it is there, enough for you to see what I’m talking about. Gabriel up to this point has been, essentially, a nameless antagonist - this is the third episode he appeared in, and before this, we didn’t even know he was going by Loki. He was just referred to as ‘The Trickster’. But here, not only do we get a name (a real name at that), but we also get a glimpse of his backstory and a hell of a lot of character development in less than 5 minutes. I mean, Sam didn’t get this much character development throughout the entirety of season 1! There’s a good reason Gabriel has been a fan-favorite for a very long time, and I think a big part of it is this particular scene.

Because here, we get to see Gabriel being vulnerable. And we even see Dean show a little vulnerability, as he can empathize being the third party to explosive arguments between the two people who mean everything to him.

I mean... okay, it will never see the light of day, but I wrote a little bit of a Reverse ‘Verse fic (because I’m a sucker for Reverse ‘Verse) and this was the scene I started with. Not s1e1, not even the resurrection in s4e1, but this scene. Because this scene, more than any other, is critical to the way not only Gabriel’s (first) arc plays out, but also to how Sam and Dean conduct themselves for the rest of the season (and maybe a bit beyond, it’s been a hot minute since I watched s6 and later). Dean is angry but determined, he has a point to make, he is going to save Sammy and if he can’t do that, then he’s going to damn well die trying. But Sam... it’s after this episode that we start really seeing how bone-achingly tired Sam is. It’s after this conversation - where one of the other archangels, one of the few beings who can truly understand how powerful Michael and Lucifer are - says that there’s no other way around this that Sam seems to start inching towards giving in. Saying yes.

Sure, in the actual episode, he seems outraged by the idea, practically scoffs at it - “you want us to say yes to those sons of bitches?” - but it’s after this where Sam really seems run down.

I mean, look at the episodes before and after (HAH you thought I forgot about that first point I made at the very beginning of this post! I did, briefly, but I’ve circled back to it, thanks for being understanding). In “The Curious Case of Dean Winchester,” Sam behaves much as he did since the start of s4, which is to say, ‘annoying little know-it-all brother tossed into the middle of the apocalypse and just trying his best’ and it works well for the mad scramble for any scrap of information that’s happening in s4/early s5.

But in “The Real Ghostbusters” it’s different. This is another funny meta episode - except, while Sam and Dean are technically aware of the joke, they aren’t as amused by it as the audience is. And it’s not because of the ghosts. It’s because they’re just... done. Especially Sam. Dean has that nice little moment with the cosplayers at the end of the episode, but Sam... threatens to shoot Chuck. Sam ‘goes darkside’ more often than pretty much any other character in the show, but that moment is different. It’s a flat promise, not a threat. He’s not being an asshole, like he is after losing his soul. He’s just... done. And it’s obvious to see.

Gabriel’s confession is the turning point for Sam in s5, and it informs a lot of his behavior through the rest of s5, and possibly beyond! Like I said, I haven’t watched past s5 in a very long time, so I don’t feel confident enough to analyze that specific sort of character line, but I feel confident in saying that hearing one of the most powerful beings in the universe basically say “it doesn’t matter what you do - your destiny is unavoidable” and then he’s proven right (Sam says yes to Lucifer, and Dean eventually does say yes to Michael down the line!)... like, that’s really gotta fuck up your world view that was built on free will and throwing off the shackles of fate. Sam managed to avoid his ‘destiny’ in s2... but then it turns out that that wasn’t ever his destiny. Lucifer was his destiny.

Talk about an obscured view of the inner self.

[loveylangdon]

What’s Clickbait again?

Shawn Mendes x Reader 

Word count: 2459

fluff and angst overload

I honestly don’t even know what I'm doing, this idea has been floating around in my head for the past couple of months, this is also my first time writing so if you have any feedback it is greatly appreciated. unedited bc idek.

Summary: You’re dating Shawn Mendes but was in a long term relationship with David Dobrik and met Shawn through a collab David was supposed to have with him. David is now collabing with Shawn finally and finds out you’re dating the pop sensation.

Masterlist in my bio pt. 2 & 3 out now

_ _ _ _ _

Today was the day Shawn was collaborating with a mysterious youtuber, whether he knew who he was working with or he just forgot to mention who it was to you was nerveracking. Shawn asked you to come along to this video shoot when he heard it was specifically for YouTube. Dating David Dobrik for 3 years had its perks, you knew your way around bits and how to shoot scenes, how to get things done quickly and efficiently.  Met numerous people in the industry and those working for youtube itself thanks to David. You worked great under pressure and Shawn loved that about you. He wanted you with him to calm his nerves, he didn’t know what he would be doing or with who, he just knew they had a huge following. Shawn didn’t particularly like that youtuber’s went around torturing people for views, or making fun of their lives for amusement so having you there knowing the ropes in its entirety would calm his nerves immensely.

You were currently finishing getting ready wondering how on earth Andrew would lead Shawn blind.

“Babe we need to leave in 15 minutes or we're going to be late” Shawn called from down the hall.

“Are you sure you want me to go with prince, what YouTubers are you even working with today, maybe I won’t even be of any help” I pouted as I walked out of the room and towards Shawn. Hoping that he would tell me even though he hasn’t for the past 3 weeks.

Making my way into the hallway with a pout on my face he looked up at me “Stop pouting it’s too cute, you calm my nerves princess, this youtuber world is odd, you seem to know most of them so you can talk for me. Stop trying to get out of it you promised” he pouted. Silently cursing yourself for promising him if he took this brand deal with YouTube, you would be right by his side with whichever youtuber they threw at him was now coming back to bite you in the ass.

Remembering how Shawn got offered a brand deal with YouTube for a bit more exposure before tour didn’t seem like a bad idea considering he started on YouTube they figured he’d blend right back in with Youtube’s number one stars. PR agreed that they wanted to throw his face in with a bit of a newer crowd of vloggers, and Youtuber’s hoping to get ticket sales to go up and expand his audience since Shawn got along with everyone and its how he rose to fame.

Taking two long steps towards me Shawn placed a kiss on my forehead, calming my nerves I snuggled into his chest more. I wrapped my arms around him and buried my face into his chest “bub I haven’t seen these people in ages I don’t even know If they know were dating” I mumbled into his t-shirt hoping he didn’t hear me

My brain was going a mile a minute after me and David broke up I stopped hanging around the vlog squad I kept in contact with some of them Zane, and Alex mostly when Ilya and Dima come into town I would have dinner with them and catch up.  Natalie never contacted me after even if I reached out, she didn’t want to betray him. I never put myself in a situation to make David uncomfortable, after seeing him go through his break up with Liza and constantly having her around broke him. I wanted him to heal and be happy.

Grabbing my chin and giving me the biggest puppy dog eyes, he could muster, “bub I love you and we might not be public yet but who cares? you and David broke up months ago, I don’t think anyone would even bring it up if they see you with me and if so, so what they’re going to find out eventually. I love you and you love me.” He pecked my lips as I closed my eyes and continued to pout our foreheads pressed together as he mumbled something.

“what was that,” I ask

Shawn moves a step back sighing “is that why you don’t want to go public” he’s looking at the ground and playing with his rings stealing a glance at me “you still love him and want to get back together with him?” he looks defeated and my heart sinks.

“Shawn Peter” I close the space in between us, threading my fingers through the curls on the nape of his neck so he can lean down and I can rest my forehead on his. playing with the curls there while my other hand is softly holding his cheek. I feel his arms wrap around my waist but he’s still looking at the ground, my heart sinks how could he ask such a question.

“Shawn Peter Raul look at me please” he glances up at me through his long lashes and I gaze into his eyes, I could get lost in there for ages honestly, all I see is love and nerves he looks at the ground again. I play with the curls on the nape of his neck and make him look at me again

“Shawn Peter, I love you with every single ounce of my being, you are not a second choice or a rebound in any way shape or form, do you hear me. i love you, for you and I have never EVER felt this type of love in my life from anyone and it honestly scares me that I love you so much, I will do everything in my power to make you happy, feel safe and loved sooo much love, inspire you because you make me want to be a better person, you Shawn Peter Raul Mendes are my person and the universe has a funny way of making things happen for the best possible ways. I love you rockstar and you couldn’t get rid of me if you tried, I just want to stay in our love bubble a little longer, I just don't want to be clickbait for these people but if you want to go public and you think we’re ready we can, I don’t ever want to hold you back”

Shawn’s grip on my hips tighten as he crashes his lips into mine but as soon as I melt into the kiss he’s pulling away and putting his face in the crook of my neck “I’m sorry” he mumbles into my neck and I feel his breath on my pulse

“prince you’re gonna have to speak up what’s wro-“

he steps back in front of me disconnecting our bodies entirely he’s wiping his eyes and quickly grabs my hands looking at me intently

“I’m sorry I’m jealous, I’m jealous because he’s everything I can't be, he has some level of normalcy and I love you so much it scares me to even think that you might leave me when you get tired of me not being home every night like he was, I don’t care if we go public honestly it’s not even about that, I just don’t want you to feel like you have to settle for me because I was the first person you saw after your guys break up. I love you with everything in me and I know you love me but I knew from the first time I saw you I was in deep but you were with him and it’s just hard to think you gave up a little bit of normalcy to follow me around and I just want to make you happy” he intertwined our hands and starts playing with my fingers

“prince please believe me when I tell you I have never felt this much love and adoration for anyone, and please believe me when I tell you I’m not settling I love you and will follow you to hell and back no matter what it takes because there is no place I would rather be.   here with you through thick and thin, rumors, tours, album releases, award shows, Calvin Klein campaigns-“I trail off in hopes to lighten the mood and he snorts and pulls me into a quick kiss “I love you so much”

our little bubble is broken when his phone rings as he lets go of my hand to answer his phone in his back pocket. he looks at me and raises his eyebrow as he puts the phone to his ear by the look on his face I know it’s Andrew and we’re late to the shoot.

Holding onto his elbow I grab him and pull him out the door “let's go rockstar, we can’t be late”

Shawn hangs up the phone and puts it back in his front pocket. His eyes crinkle up a bit as he shakes his head whispering as he suddenly got serious “Remind me what clickbait is again honey”

—

walking through a Warner brother sound stage is surreal and weird, what kind of youtube production is associated with warner brothers. Shawn left to go find snacks at production and I’m left wandering when I hear her laugh. This literally can’t be happening. I’m about to turn the corner when I hear Natalie call out to me

“y/n is that you!?” I turn around and smile

“omg y/n I haven’t seen you in so long how have you been, are you working for the studio? or youtube? that makes sense if you were to work with youtube, who knows the ins and outs better than-“ she’s cut off by Shawn voice coming from down the hall.

the 6’2 Canadian comes in smiling from ear to ear at whatever he’s holding in his hands “princess look what I found at the snack table you’re not going to believe it-“ he looks up at you but he’s cut off by Natalie clearing her throat and he looks across from you shocked at first but he quickly composes himself and quickly glances from you to Natalie

“Oh hi I didn’t see you there, Natalie right?” as he extends his hand out for her to shake. she glances at you and quickly shakes Shawn’s hand.

“yah it’s Natalie nice to see you again.” Shawn gives her a genuine smile and looks back at me.

“princess look” he opens his palm and I see my favorite chocolate candy form the UK “they have SMARTIES!” he looks up at me and hands me the weirdly shaped box “they only had two so I grabbed them both I thought it was weird that they had them they’re so hard to find so I knew I had to grab them for you” he moves to put the second box inside your jacket pocket “okay princess I love you but I have to go brian will have my head,  Andrew’s in a mood” he turned to Natalie “it was nice seeing you again Natalie” smiling at her he turns to me, quickly pecks my lips and walks backward smiling “I love you save some candy for me” while making dead eye contact and a hand motion signaling we’re going to be sharing these between us.

I laugh and yell “turn around rockstar I don’t want you to fall” he looks and laughs blows a kiss and turns around and walks down the hall to what I’m assuming is a dressing room.

I blush lightly looking at Natalie, whose eyes are wide “y/n how long have you been with him” she’s looking at me dead in the eyes now and the mood has shifted. I look down and start biting the inside of my cheek.

“8 months...but we were talking before that” I look at her and her demeanor changes slightly, she physically softens. I can't do this. just as quick as she softens she stiffens again

“y/n 8 months...so while David was heartbroken and blaming himself you were out gallivanting with the last person he was supposed to film with before you guys broke up are you serious.” her eyes widen “is that why you broke up because you met Shawn and you wanted to be with him?!”

“Natalie stop! it’s not like that and you know it! you know better than anyone why me and David broke up” my throat tightens and I feel like I’m about to cry. I feel her arms around me.

“I’m sorry ok don’t cry, I know I just-“ she pulls away with her hands on my shoulders looking at me sympathetically. “you’re his best friend I know” I move to take her hands off of my shoulders. suddenly not wanting anything to do with her. after the break up she refused to talk me, I didn’t only lose 3 years of my life with David I lost 5 years of friendship with Natalie too.

Having to go through a breakup with not only my best friends of 3 years, but I also ended up losing two of the people closest to me.

I take a breathe “I should really go find Shawn” I wipe my eyes and start looking around and rub my hands on my jeans “if they’re doing his hair over again he’ll want me to do it and-“

“does he make you happy,” she asks

I feel my chest tighten and butterflies erupt in my stomach at her question I smile “he really does” I go to wipe my cheeks again with my dry hand but can’t because of the smarties Shawn put in my hand and I’m smiling like an idiot all over again.

Natalie speaks up “you know David keeps those in the house now, they’re permanently on his rider for whenever we work with bigger companies or go anywhere he doesn’t eat them often but he likes to have them because they remind him of simpler times” she softly smiles at me, insinuating that the real reason Shawn found them was because David requested them.

I give her a tight lipped smile, she didn’t know anything, “it was nice running into you Nat I really need to go find Shawn” before she can say anything I turn around and as I turn the corner I hear an infamous vlog laugh come from the opposite side of the sound stage. I feel like my heart is going to burst.

- - - - 

I Hope you enjoyed it and if you made it this far thank you, This is my first time writing so if you have any feedback it is greatly appreciated. I'm thinking of making a second part so if I should let me know. Thank you 

Pt. 2

Pt. 3

Xx

[everythingoesnk]

I love you, John

summary; in the fandom we say brian’s the 5th beatle. well now he’s the 6th bc in this you’re a member of the band. basically you’re in love with john but he’s dating yoko and............. it’s all a disaster

word count; 2 966

warnings; angst at its finest. i’m sorry if u find it trashy but i tried and that’s what counts

********

There was no way you could face this feeling. It damaged your mental health to the point of insufferable anxiety.

Nobody knew about those episodes.

Was it something that you enjoyed, seeing front row how your friendship shattered to useless fragments? Did you look like you didn’t care about how he distanced himself more each time without looking back? Like nothing or no one else mattered? Of course not.

He was alien to the fact he wasn’t the only one suffering.

At least this was the reason you found that made the most sense to his coldness and passively behaviour towards everyone. Or the justification you wanted to believe, refusing to accept that reality was that he didn’t mind everything falling apart.

The tortuous thought that John wanted to see it all reduced to ashes crossed your mind every once in a while.

Paul sighed loudly when he didn’t get any answer from you after calling multiple times. He randomly pounded several piano keys at once, creating a frightening awful sound, then dragged himself to his feet and anxiously left the room.

None of that made you tore your eyes away from John, though.

He was talking to Yoko, who was sitting on the floor beside him, nodding her head as she followed with her gaze what he was pointing at in the music sheet. Occasionally she’d interrupt him to opine. When that happened he would shut up and listen.

John was very polite when asking for thoughts, always open to new ideas and constantly seeking people's opinions on his work.

Ringo’s eyes were glued on you, George noticed, and he knew the drummer was thinking the same exact thing he was. Ringo nodded in his direction and left to find something to eat: you’d been rehearsing for three hours and he hadn't had breakfast in the morning.

"We're all getting used to it"

Outwardly speaking, George's nonchalant-wannabe words had no apparent reaction in you. On the inside, they crushed your soul deeper into misery.

You hummed an ‘approving’ sound to dodge the pressure of having to form a proper sentence.

Concentration back again on tuning the knobs of the guitar, George put his aside on the floor and watched you closely. Then sighed and pressed his lips together.

"Do you hear that?"

"Hear what?”

"The ticking"

Pokerfaced, you stopped your actions to sneak a look at him.

"What ticking?” you asked grimly.

"Yours," he replied, pointing a finger at you. “You’re about to explode”

“We have a comedian in the building, how appropriate” you proclaimed nodding your head at him mockingly.

He grinned and dropped his gaze to the floor before speaking to you again.

“Come with me,” he said, getting up, “I’m craving a smoke”

“I’ll join in a moment. I want to finish writing down a couple of things first”

"Oh yeah?" George wasn’t convinced at all.

He removed a strand of hair from his face. In vain ‘cause it returned shortly to the same place where he’d shoved it away from.

“Yes"

George stared at you, hands on the hips.

Sunk in your seat, you glanced at him too without blinking.

"I’m inspired," you added, one last attempt to make him believe you.

You could try. You could try giving that song you’d been working on a new chance.

"Okay," he nodded, lowering the guard, and kissed your forehead, "you know where to find me"

"Sure, Geo"

You smiled and rapidly shot him a big grin, thumbs held up as well, when he turned around to take a good last look at you before closing the door behind his back.

As soon as he was nowhere around, your smile was found gone.

It was only you, John and Yoko now.

//

It must have been the tenth time that, desperately, you ran your hands through your hair.

Perhaps the problem was you. And you were just exaggerating everything.

But did she have to stick her nose in something that had nothing to do with her?

You didn’t mind her discussing the songs. But never in a million years could you believe she had the ovaries to criticize them. To criticize your work. Paul’s work, George’s and Richie’s work.

Never John’s, though. It must be said to add a little more context to you losing it.

You weren't nosy, but she didn't try to be inconspicuous either.

That bitch’d been talking shit about what she referred to as ‘Ringo’s lame thing’, claiming that Octopus’s Garden was kind of embarrassing and that it didn’t deserve to be on a Beatles record. She didn’t even bother asking about the meaning behind it, the ignorant cretin.

You bit your tongue until you just couldn't anymore.

"God," you exhaled.

Yoko heard your sigh but said nothing about it, bowing her head. She wished John’d do the same, but deep down she knew he’d have something to say.

And of course, he did.

"What's up?" he asked lifting an eyebrow, eyes jumping from you to Yoko and back.

"One gets tired of listening to bullshit" you warranted in a singsong voice, not looking up from the paper and without interrupting your writing.

It took a few seconds for you to get a response.

"Nothing she said was bullshit," John defended, hinting that her opinion was as valid as anyones.

You understood his words differently.

"Rich’s mad excited about it and it’s a great song,” you hurried to argue, this time meeting his stare, “the number of hours and dedication he's putting into it is inhuman. You should know that”

A little –huge�� bit of your protective side towards Ringo was showing, but you didn’t care. Octopus’s Garden was beautiful and you’d die defending so if necessary.

"I didn't mean—"

“Are you sure?” you interrupted, turning your body in his direction, leaning in before spitting the poison out, “because lately she seems to speak for you. Whatever Yoko says, there you are giving your approval”

John stood still for at least a minute, momentarily speechless.

Yoko approached him to tell him to forget it and leave before things got uglier.

When you called the conversation off after he hadn’t spoken a word, trying to handle what you just so hostilely reprimanded, you went back to your thing, conscious that you were too unstable and broken to even pick the pencil up again.

Sure you didn’t want him to know you weren’t as strong as you wanted to appear to be, but you had to close your eyes for a moment and exhale after he moved to stand next to you.

He didn’t know the power he had on you. It’d take a snap of his fingers to ruin you for eternity.

“You’ve to fix your shit and get over it,” John grunted, fed up with the constant attacks that Yoko directly and indirectly received. It all got too much to handle.

You laughed in his face.

“Fix my shit? How, John, when the shit’s in the same room?”

John paused again, shocked.

His eyes languidly turned cold and hard.

Could you maybe have gone a step too far? There was no denying. Were you regretful? Not at all. Did your heart, constricted in your breast painfully hindering your catch of air, speed up its pace at the look John was giving you, scared about what he was going to say next? Absolutely.

"What the fuck’s wrong with you? I've had enough of the continuous offences to my wife! Now this?!” he snapped, yelling.

You avoided by all means raising your voice since it’s pretty much known that doing so does not make you any more right. The tone was something you could take control over, unfortunately, it was way more difficult to hide how it trembled.

“If I started to say what I was fed up with we’d never finish the album. And we have to, right, John? The sooner the better,” you challenged in a cold-blooded boost of courage, knowing you were entering a difficult and muddy territory.

The bomb timer George talked about earlier was at its limit.

That John asked Yoko afterwards to leave you two alone was just the appetizer of what was coming.

“(Y/N), you have attitude problems. The way you treat Yoko is horrible and unfair. She just wants to help” he tried to let you know where he was coming from, going back to a more suitable tone to appeal you.

“When we ask her for help, her presence will be welcomed”

“Enough now. Enough, (Y/N)” he shook his head and glanced at you fiercely. You swallowed. "Shit, what the hell’s going on with you and your twisted mind? You’re unbearable"

“Am I unbearable?” you gasped, blood heating your face, and immediately stood up. “You’re insufferable!! Twenty-four hours together like… like… like two fucking creeps!” you screamed, quickly forgetting about the ‘not raising your voice’ thing, gesturing an awful lot to express your irritation.

His expression of disbelief morphed onto one of monumental anger.

"And don't come at me with that ‘attitude problems’ crap. I’m not the only one who wants her out” you lectured in a bitter fit of temper, voice unwillingly shaky.

“If you have a problem with Yoko being around, the door is right there” he answered, pronounced tightness clear in his words.

Your heart sank to the very bottom of the Earth’s core, and the floor beneath your feet started trembling, just like you hallucinated once after dropping acid with Paul: the whole body in an uninterrupted burning perception that you could just blow up and die.

John was unpredictable, but you never expected him to show you the way out. He flushed your feelings down the toilet just like that.

“Damn right the door’s right there. I’m getting the fuck out” you stressed, turning around to leave so he wouldn’t see the sea of tears that started to overflow down your face.

From the very beginning of your friendship, you knew you had a massive soft spot reserved for him in your heart, but as years passed you were assured you were deeply and profoundly in love with every part of him. You adored and cared about John more than you did to yourself, which sounds and is scary, but you couldn’t do anything to stop it. It was the way that it was.

At this point you didn’t even care anymore that he didn’t return the same feelings, you just wanted him in your life one way or the other. His happiness was everything that mattered to you. It’d always remain that way no matter what happened.

John rubbed his eyes and sighed loudly.

“Don’t leave,” he said hopelessly, looking defeated, arms hanging on his sides, “I don’t want you to be mad at me”

“I’M NOT MAD AT YOU, IDIOT!” you exploded, whirling around to face him. “And I hate that! I hate it!”

Tears and tears kept streaming down your face. You knew you were being embarrassingly cringey and you’d punch yourself later for that.

There was no coming back now: the timer detonated and the pieces of your broken heart were all over the place, imaginarily staining the carpet as small volcanoes attached to them kept erupting and painting all red.

An anguish heaving pain in the pit of your stomach and throat was bit by bit killing you.

Nine years. Nine years in love with this man and he didn’t have the slimmest clue about how you felt.

He was about to find out.

John was surprised to meet your bloodshot eyes and quivering lips. He panicked when he saw that tears were also coming out of your nose down to your lips.

“I hate that you could hurt me over and over and that I’d always find ways to forgive you” you cried, and you wished you had a tissue to blow out your nose in it.

John was at a loss of words.

“Because I love you” you wailed, and rolled your eyes afterwards at that because it was so inconvenient and wrong to say it out loud.

In his consciousness, a voice snapped at him to take action and comfort you, but his feet seemed to be rooted to where he was standing. You were so vulnerable and fragile, full body shaking and shoulders tight, air constantly bursting in and out of your mouth, impossible to control your sobs. All because of him.

“I don’t… I don’t…” John struggled, heartbeat racing a million miles per second.

“I know you don’t!” you sputtered, an excruciating feeling that he’d never want to be with you choking you extremely. "Up until now I thought I could live with it, but you keep bringing her here! Why do you have to bring her?” you sobbed, covering your face.

John couldn’t quite tell whether it was your statement and confession what made his heart heavier with misery or the nicotine in the amount of tobacco smoke still hovering in the room, demanding it to work harder.

By the time he felt sorrowness suffocating him, he couldn’t deny it was the first option.

“(Y/N), I’m so sorry…”

As he watched you gulp for air, he couldn’t feel more incompetent and clueless.

You compressed your lips so he wouldn’t get to hear you sobbing; turning your back at him to hide your blotchy face, you heard footsteps approaching you.

John went to put a hand on your shoulder and hold you, but you winced and complained, stepping away from him, as if the contact burned your skin.

Staring at him in the eye, you shook your head.

“Do not touch me”

“(Y/N), we have to sit down and talk this through. I cannot—“

“I don’t want to keep talking about it. I said my part and I know what’s crossing your mind. ‘Poor (Y/N), I feel so bad for her, I hope she gets over it soon’. Nine years, John”

He swallowed.

“I’m sure there’s a way—“

“There isn’t! I love you and you don’t love me! What is there to discuss?”

Glancing across at him, you could perfectly see how he cared and how frightened and terrified he was about the situation. You were one of the most important people in his life, and to think that he thought he knew you, but missed what you were genuinely feeling towards him for almost a decade… He felt horrible.

Yoko was the love of his life, but he also loved you with all his heart.

He was sorry that it wasn’t enough.

“John”

George stepped into the room and walked further in to pull you towards him. He'd been watching for just a few seconds, because as soon as he saw what was going on, he intended to leave, at the end of the day it was none of his business, but he knew you needed him and therefore took the decision to end the scene.

Rubbing your back, he whispered in your hair if you wanted to leave. You just nodded.

“Wait, George. I need to talk to her”

“You heard her. She doesn’t want to”

John got mad at him.

“All I’m asking is a few minutes. Don’t expect me to drop it when she’s like that”

Maybe by ‘that’ he meant that you looked like a train just ran you over. Casually, that’s how you felt. If not worse.

You rested your head on George’s shoulder and murmured something about needing to go now because you couldn’t be in John’s presence no more.

“(Y/N), please” you heard John beg.

George and you walked to the door and he told you to wait outside, touching your cheek with a small smile on his lips, encouraging you to take it as an opportunity to calm down.

You obliged, but heard everything they were saying anyway.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” John cursed. “Why won’t you let me speak to her? This is serious, please”

John tried to get to the door but George barred the way.

“Are you gonna tell her you love her?” he asked, lifting an eyebrow.

John stared at his bandmate blankly, the expression of confusion on his face speaking for itself.

“Are you gonna tell her you’re leaving Yoko to spend your life with her?” George continued, making a point that he knew John would understand.

You bit your lip at that and wept silently.

John’s eyes were slowly piling up hot tears.

“That’s what I thought” George spoke in an undertone.

After that, George left him and found you sitting on the ground in the corridor. He took a seat next to you.

Spontaneous sobs and shiverings that you couldn’t hold back happened every now and then. You were grateful that George wouldn’t address them.

“I’m pathetic”

“No you’re not”

“Yes I am” you shook your head and sniffed, feeling lamentable. “I didn’t know I’d end up confessing one day. I assumed I’d carry it to the crave”

Two staff members from the cleaning crew walked by, and you stopped talking. When they were gone, George turned to look at you.

“I believe things happen for a reason and that fate is written. You and John not being a thing may be for the best. It’s gonna be hard, but you have to move on”

“Move on…”

He nodded.

You moved to face him and stared strongly into his eyes. That was it.

“Move on” you repeated out loud as a mantra, staring off into nowhere.

George furrowed an eyebrow.

“Yes…?”

You inhaled and exhaled at the same time that you closed and opened your eyes. Moving on would be the first step to a better stage within yourself.

“I’m leaving”

Puzzlement clouded George’s features.

“Leave… where?”

“The band, Geo. I’m quitting the band”

[armageddon-generation]

The Big Moffat Rewrite: Series 7

Following on from my Series 5 and my Series 6 rewrites

XMAS SPECIAL The Snowmen

The Bells of Saint John

The Rings of Akhaten

Cold War

A Town Called Mercy

The Slow Invasion

Journey to the Centre of the TARDIS

Asylum of the Cybermen

Nightmare in Silver

Dinosaurs on a Spaceship

Hide

Supremacy of the Daleks

Extermination of the Daleks

The Name of the Doctor

The Snowmen

·         11 is still a recluse in Victorian London, but because in my Series 6 he left the Ponds instead of losing them, it’s because he’s convinced he’ll screw up if he travels again. After wiping himself from history he’s lying low, not helping because he’s convinced he’ll make things worse

·         (also he’s totally wallowing in self-pity because of his self-imposed exile from the Ponds)

·         Clara re-convinces him he can make positive change, drags him out of his self-absorption, shows him something new

 CLARA’s CHARACTER

·         Clara gets all of series 7. Moffat originally wanted The Time of the Doctor to be a whole series, so we can fit some of that stuff about the Silence and Trenzalore in here.

·         GIVE CLARA A FUCKING ARC – the Doctor takes an ordinary girl who he thinks is special, and accidentally makes her special

·         Most people seem to prefer Victorian! Clara to her in S7B anyway, so she becomes that flirty, authoritative character by the finale

·         The pieces were already there – her being scared in Cold War compared to her taking charge in Nightmare in Silver, but make it explicit – the Doctor realises he is changing Clara and turning her into the person he met in Victorian London and the Cyberman Asylum

·         This sets up her arcs and relationship with 12 – he brings out the liar in her, forces her to become cold and calculating. This is now already happening with 11

The Rings of Akhaten

·         Introduce Trisha Lem, the head of the Church of the Silence, here. The best part of this episode is The Speech, but we could easily say that the Silence is presiding over the Long Song ceremony to appease the Old God, taking the place of those creatures hunting the little girl. 

·         (I imagine the Church pre-Trenzalore as a kind of Shadow Proclamation for religion - presiding over and safeguarding the religious traditions of species across the universe)

·         This way Trisha and the Silence’s role as confessionals doesn’t come out of nowhere in The Time of the Doctor

·         11 and Trisha’s relationship being so flirty confuses me - as the head of the Church, 11 must associate her with all the pain the Silence caused River and the Ponds. Instead, he acts really flirty but Clara notices he’s faking it – a reflection of their own relationship?

·         Trisha doesn’t understand why 11 is being elusive.

A Town Called Mercy

·         Use this story’s framework – a Western where 11 is forced to protect war criminal – and insert River

·         Partly bc River and Clara interacting seems super interesting

·         River is angry at 11 for ‘replacing’ the Ponds. I also think she’d be competitive with Clara? As she’s scattered all over the Doctor’s timestream, Clara is the only person who really could compete with her

·         As an archaeologist expert on the Doctor River knows about Clara, but can’t tell 11 exactly what she is

·         Also 11 agreeing with River’s more violent methodology is really interesting and shows how they can feed into each other’s dark sides – think River’s line from The Angels Take Manhattan – “One psychopath per TARDIS, don’t you think?”

The Slow Invasion

·         A version of The Power of Three told from the perspective of the Alice character who replaced Craig in S5/6. 11 pops in and out of her life with different versions of Clara

·         It’s revealed that 11 has tried to travel with different versions of Clara before, tracking her down all across the universe, but she always, always dies. Our Clara doesn’t know.

·         Alice is deeply critical of what 11 is doing. She acts almost as his therapist; he comes over for tea and talks to her about what’s going on.

·         Instead of the cubes being alien exterminators, this is a plot buy the Great Intelligence (series 7′s big bad) inspired by the Skith from DWM comic The First and Superman villain Brainiac – i.e. the Intelligence is collecting all information it can about a thing, and then destroys it to stop that knowledge becoming commonplace and therefore losing its value. Specifically, the Intelligence is also investigating Clara (because she keeps appearing across its timeline). The Intelligence’s fascination is a dark parallel to 11’s

·         Alice asks 11 what happened to the Ponds, and he reveals they still think he’s dead. Alice tells 11 to go see them (the ending scenes of The Doctor, the Widow and The Wardrobe). She also tells him to start treating Clara like a real person, not a human question mark

·         11 takes Clara to meet them. River is also there, having dinner. The episode closes with them reconnecting

Pond Life

·         After The Slow Invasion launch this minisode series about life post-11, with River barging in instead of the Doctor

Journey to the Centre of the TARDIS

·         Tie the TARDIS disliking Clara into the series arc – it’s because the TARDIS knows Clara is an anomaly scattered through the Doctor’s timestream. Have a scene in Journey To the Centre of the TARDIS where 11 argues with the TARDIS about it – “Do you know what she is? You do, don’t you? I miss the time when you could talk and just tell me.”

·         The TARDIS went to the end of the universe to throw Jack Harkness off, and 11 abandoned Future!Amy in The Girl Who Waited because the TARDIS hates paradoxes – this is the same kind of thing, just make it clear by the finale (Clara even jumps into the time stream INSIDE the TARDIS)

·         Clara remembers the events of the episode so she can be be active in the investigation of who she is, (also fixing how the episode undoes the three brothers’ arcs, but still insists they grew as people at the end)

          This represents 11 opening up to her and trusting her more

Asylum of the Daleks (retitled Asylum of the Cybermen)

         Roll Nightmare in Silver and Asylum into a 2-parter, because the best part of Nightmare is Mister Clever. Both episodes even have the same ‘someone’s about to destroy the planet’ ticking time bomb.

         The army fighting the Cybermen kidnap 11 to get him to destroy the Asylum with a bunch of expendable grunts they can afford to lose to a suicide mission.·         Clara meeting/interacting with another version of herself is really interesting, so we keep converted Oswin saving them·

         Changing it to Asylum of the Cybermen makes more sense thematically

        All those people, including Oswin, being converted – the Asylum’s security system is its conversion machinery – attackers become part of the security system. Instead of a nano-cloud, use the tiny upgraded Cybermats·

         It would also be scarier (a haunted hospital a la World Enough and Time- botched cybermen > insane Daleks) and would add an interesting layer to Cyberman lore instead of making the Daleks look weak. It can also use old models to explain the Cybermen’s multiple backstories, touched on in The Doctor Falls (”everywhere there’s people, there’s cybermen,” 12 says)·

         The ‘subtracting love’ thing makes more sense with cybermen too – instead of Amy and Rory, focus on Clara holding onto her connection with 11 – emphasising their genuine, emotion-based bond over ‘flirty quirky plot device’·

         This renewed focus on the Cybermen is good because the last full-on Cyberman story was in Series 2 (in The Next Doctor they’re just kind of in the background), and Moffat is much better at writing the body-horror of the Cybermen than he is writing the Daleks.

Nightmare in Silver

·         11 deliberately lets himself be ‘infected’ by the asylum’s nanocloud and begins conversion in attempt to save the converted Oswin’s mind.

·         Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you the origin of Handles, the Cyberman head from The Time of The Doctor: the remains of Oswin’s cyber-converted mind downloaded into a head.

·         11 uses Mr Clever to get information about her - i.e. that she just appeared one day as a fully-formed person without any family. This sets up the other Claras being time remnants. 

·         It also lets Mr Clever play more psychological games with 11 and Clara – Mr Clever reveals 11 is scared of Clara, putting more strain on Clara having to hold on to her emotional attatchments

·         The Cybermen are actively trying to get out. This way we dig into their primary drive – survival at all costs,

·         What happens when a Cyberman’s emotional inhibitor is broken, but they don’t die? Driven insane and desperate, and fiercely intelligent.

·         I like the idea of the Cybermen like the Xenomorph in Alien; blending in with thoier broken down, mechanical environment, plugging into it and using to separate and play games with the soldiers.

Dinosaurs on a Spaceship

·         Replace The Crimson Horror with a version of Dinosaurs on a Spaceship with the Paternoster Gang replacing Brian, the Ponds, Nefertiti and that hunter bloke

·         I just really need to see Vastra interacting with her culture OK? Seeing her be taken back to her childhood, opening up to Jenny about it. Her anger, realising what the villain Solomon has done to her people. Use this conflict to call back to and explain how she met the Doctor, how he stopped her slaughtering humans before.

·         Clara and 11 go to the Paternoster Gang for help investigating her other selves

·         Clara researches and finds her past selves, not only in Victorian London but also throughout the 60s and 70s, when she’s helping the past Doctors – finding this research is how the kids find out she’s a time traveller

·         This is how THE DOCTOR REALISES HE’S SEEN HER MANY TIMES BEFORE, setting up The Name of the Doctor’s out-of-nowhere, un-guessable resolution.

·         Dark!11 again. Matt saoid they would’ve explored a ‘meaneer’ version if he’d stayed on for series 8. Clara is the perfect way to bring that out as they lie and manipulate each other for their own ends.

DALEK CIVIL WAR STORY

·         Progenitor Daleks vs the regular Time War model. Display how the Progenitor Daleks are different - each of them having a different weapon/role etc. The crux of the story is that the Progenitor Daleks are better at fighting the Doctor and come close to killing him, but the other Daleks value their ‘purity’ and survival more

·         Maximum Dark!11

The Name of the Doctor

·         When 11 rescues Clara she is changed – she retains bits and pieces of her time remnants’ experiences, it’s at once traumatising and exhilarating

The Time of the Doctor

·         Whereas The End of Time felt stretched-out (135 minutes) this felt really rushed. Make it 2 parts.

·         We see the set-up of Trenzalore and the Church of Silence in the first.

·         The second part is the long siege of Trenzalore – we need to see 11 age fighting these monsters, taking his turn being left behind, the tragedy of him slowly losing his memory, focusing on his character

·         We can also flesh out the citizens of Trenzalore and Christmas so their safety is important to us

·         Let’s see Madame Kovarian and her splinter cell break off from the main Church of Silence and leave to try and kill the Doctor – make her a supporting character

·         Then have Trisha Lem explicitly talk to the Doctor about how Kovarian blowing up the TARDIS caused the cracks in the universe in the first place, allowing the Time Lords to get their message out. Instead of a montage, have this be the moment that unites the Doctor and the Silence – they are both fighting to make up for their mistakes and the problems they caused

·         We see the many races surrounding Trenzalore form the alliance from The Pandorica Opens

[dawnpil]

first draft

summary: you were raised to be careful with your heart around witches, but one pretty word witch is determined to change that. pairing: young k x reader genre: fluff bc honestly what else do i write notes: a continuation to a series i started literally a year and a half ago, oops (stone witch!wonpil)

you know about the day house boys, of course

you’re starting your junior year and they’re the most popular people on campus, after all

hell, you’ve got one of wonpil’s hematite rings for focus

your favorite scarf is one dowoon knitted warmth into the fabric of

you’ve seen brian around the house, but you’ve never gone to him for his magic

out of the witches his magic can do the widest variety of things, which means he charges the steepest price, and you’re just a broke college kid

your friend, who goes to brian every full moon, tries to explain how his prices work

but you’re not having it; you need your voice too much to lose it for three days, and you’re not sure you have anything else he’d want

here’s the thing: word magic evolves constantly, and word witches always need to know what phrases are going in or out of style

so from what you’ve gathered, brian’s price for his magic is to take a customer’s words for varying durations of time

and you can’t have that, not with your three a.m. spot on the campus radio

besides, you don’t really have a need for his magic: you’re never in enough trouble that dowoon’s woven charms don’t work, or wonpil doesn’t have some sort of stone for your problems

you avoid his magic successfully for two and a half years, but you don’t avoid him

he’s in your fundamentals of linguistics course your second semester, soft black hair falling in his face as he takes diligent notes

when you go to pick up dowoon’s charms at the start of fall sophomore year brian’s curled up untangling thread with nimble fingers, and he throws a soft little smile your way

you’re not sure what makes you proceed to drop your wallet and dowoon’s charm four times before you make it back out the door, but your friend is convinced it was brian’s smile and won’t accept any other answer

you shove their arm, tell them that they shouldn’t be projecting their own infatuation onto you

but it happens again near winter break, when you’re selecting a few pieces of onyx and rose quartz for your friends back home

brian’s wandering wonpil’s shop, inspecting the little baskets of crystals, and when you turn to head to wonpil’s register you nearly run into brian

startled, you start to take a step back, eyes wide, but he reaches out to stop you

it’s a good thing he does, or you’d have knocked over the table of crystals, and you really don’t have the money for that

his hands are warm on your shoulders, his dark eyes apologetic, and this close his chest is a whole lot broader than you’d thought from a distance

“sorry,” he says, and his voice is more musical than you’d remembered from linguistics. “i should have been more careful.”

this time you don’t lose your fine motor skills, but you do forget how to speak

he’s just. beautiful, this close up

so you stare at him and try to remember how to form words and after a moment he laughs gently, the sound honey-sweet

“i didn’t even have to cast seen and not heard to enchant you. interesting.”

is he flirting? you think maybe so. your friend thinks definitely so.

that really kind of terrifies you; it’s not that you don’t trust the day house witches, just that you were raised with tales of enchantments and love potions and falsities, and that kind of cautionary bedtime story is hard to forget

so you take to avoiding him as much as possible; you send your friend to get your hematite and carnelian recharged, and even as the warmth charm in dowoon’s scarf starts to fray you refuse to go get a replacement

if you could never set foot in day house again you’d be perfectly content

despite this you still think about him, about the silk in his voice when you go to karaoke night, about the way you always seem to find him in the library hunched over his textbooks at odd hours with coffee cups littering the table, about the way sometimes you daydream about holding his hand on the way to the coffee shop just off campus

you try to ignore these thoughts, try to ignore him, and bury yourself in your work for the rest of sophomore year

but the thing about junior year is that your classes are getting more serious, and as a creative writing major you’re expected to have new work for two different classes almost every week, and it’s draining

your carnelian is losing its charge quicker than ever, because this far into the semester you’re struggling to find creativity this constantly and on top of all your other work

it completely loses charge a day before a ten-page story is due for workshop and you’re stuck with a blinking cursor and a blank page

your roommate looks over when you slam your head onto your desk and understands immediately

“go to brian,” they say. “he’s got a spell for writer’s block, according to momo.”

if you weren’t so tired, so frustrated, so desperate you would never have considered it

but it only takes a few minutes’ persuasion for you to be lacing your boots and shoving your laptop into your bag and heading for the familiar little house

jae’s the one to open the door for you, feathers in his blond hair, and he grins

“please tell me you’re here for younghyun. he won’t shut up about you, not after the open mic last tuesday.”

you consider turning around and leaving—the poem you’d read at the open mic was much more personal than you’re usually comfortable sharing, and to think brian was so focused on it terrifies you a little

but then you think about how close you were to crying out of frustration, about the days of staring at that blank page and ticking cursor, and you nod at jae

“he’s upstairs,” jae says, “third door on the left.”

brian’s playing guitar when you find his room, sitting on his bed plucking at chords with his black hair falling over his face as he bends over the instrument

you freeze, in the doorway: you had no idea the room jae was sending you to was brian’s bedroom, since wonpil has the shop set up downstairs and sungjin works out of the kitchen. this is oddly intimate, and you almost turn tail and run

before you can brian looks up, his fingers stilling, and he smiles, and your resolve melts

he beckons you in to sit at his desk chair, and he sets the guitar aside to look seriously at you. “what are you here for?”

“writer’s block.” you run your hand through your hair with a sigh of frustration, and he smiles sympathetically

“writer’s block like you don’t have any ideas or writer’s block like you don’t know how to start putting them into words?”

there’s no magic in his voice, not yet, but there might as well be, with the enchanting lilt in every syllable. you could listen to his voice forever, you think

“the—um, the second one,” you say, fidgeting under his dark eyes, and again he nods

“my price is your words for a period of time.” it’s your turn to nod. “with this spell it’s usually a day, but i know you’ve got the radio show in a few hours and i wouldn’t want you to not be able to do your job.”

he pauses, considering, and you tug at your sleeves as you try to find a way around having your words taken away

“why...why do you take people’s words? like, what about them is the reason they’re your price, when you could be making money or something?”

“it’s how my magic works,” brian explains. “the more people use a certain phrase, the more power it’s imbued with, so i take people’s words to see if they can give me new spells.”

this fascinates you—your parents had never let you learn about magic, and as a result hearing the littlest bit about it is making you think of questions you never knew you had, and you want to learn everything about this

it’ll be good for stories, anyway, you think, good world-building and maybe an opportunity for new types of characters and stories

and you might have a way out of this, a way to pay brian fairly while keeping your words

“what about languages other than english?”

he pauses at this. “i have a few korean spells i got from my mom, but i hadn't thought about other languages. which one were you thinking?”

you’ve taken spanish courses for a few years, and you speak it with your roommate and their friend, enough to be reasonably conversational, and when you explain this to brian he nods and you spend another five minutes hashing out a schedule for you to come over and teach him

finally the business has been arranged and you set up your laptop at the little table he keeps in his room for this purpose, and he sets a mug of coffee and a bagel next to your things

“odds are you’ll be writing for a while, and the spell makes it hard to take breaks. if you need anything else let me know and i’ll grab it for you.”

his eyes are soft obsidian, and despite your overall hesitation about magic you wonder if there isn’t some sort of enchantment that’s making your heart beat like this

but a second later he sets his hand on your shoulder and murmurs “use your words”

it’s like a dam bursts: suddenly your fingers are flying over the keys, your mind racing sentences ahead faster than your hands can manage, and the story you’ve had rattling around in your head is taking shape on the formerly blank page

when you resurface a few hours later, a completed draft sitting in front of you, brian smiles as you take a bite of the bagel

“got something finished?” you nod, and return the smile

“it’ll need editing, but i got the draft done for workshop, and that’s what’s important.”

a glance at the clock says you barely have enough time to rush to the dorm basement the radio uses as its studio, so you gather up your things and down the last of the coffee and clamp the bagel between your teeth as you tie your boots

you’ve got one foot out the door when he calls your name and you turn, a question in your eyes since there’s bread in your mouth

“call me younghyun,” he says. “younghyun’s for friends.”

is that what you are now? you debate this with yourself for a week; you’ve only gone to him for one spell, though the first of your spanish sessions goes well

he’s got plans for de nada and de tal palo tal astilla freaked you out a little bit when he used it to perfectly replicate the origami rose you got from a girl in one of your workshops last semester

you think if you aren’t friends yet you’d like to be, now that you’re losing your fear of his magic

on the nights you lie awake staring at the fairy lights strung above your bed thinking of obsidian eyes and nimble fingers and lilting words you let yourself admit maybe you want to be more than friends

it takes another two weeks for anything to happen

it’s the last of your spanish sessions, the last of your payment for the spell, the last of your excuses to spend time with brian

he seems nervous the whole time, too distracted to remember en boca cerrada no entran moscas and as a result he has yet to make the silencing charm work

no matter how much you coach him through the syllables slowly, his attention is elsewhere

to be fair, yours is as well: trying to figure out where his mispronunciations are is giving you an excuse to stare at his lips, and regardless of whether he works magic into his words his voice is ridiculously easy to lose yourself in

before you know it the time is over, and you sigh and remind him of the list of phrases you’ve given him so he can strengthen the spells without your help, and he hesitates with his backpack slung over one shoulder but can’t seem to bring himself to say anything

as you study his now-familiar features you give in, and this time you’re the one to stop him halfway out the door

“one more phrase,” you say, and he turns and you square your shoulders

“tú me gustas.” i like you.

he’s like a deer in headlights, eyes wide, but he recovers fairly quickly and crosses back to you

“i thought you weren’t a witch,” he says, a smile playing on his lips

“i’m not,”you say, though your voice barely makes it above a whisper; his hair is flopping into his eyes and all of your restraint is going into keeping your fingers out of the dark curls

“then how can one sentence be so enchanting?”

he grins when this time you’re the one to get flustered, and he reaches out and takes your hand and your words get stuck in your throat

“what kind of word witch am i if i can’t find the words to confess to the person i like?” he says, then shrugs. “since you confessed first, can dinner be my treat?”

the first time younghyun kisses you he meets you just offstage when you finish a reading of one of your short stories in the little student-run coffee shop: your papers are still clutched in the hands you throw around his neck, and there’s a smile on his lips as they press against yours, and the moment weaves an enchantment you know has nothing to do with younghyun’s magic and everything to do with younghyun and the way the two of you fit against each other like a perfectly-crafted metaphor

dating younghyun is coffee shop dates to people-watch and pick out threads of language, is borrowing his hoodies even when it gets too warm for them, is laughter and falling in love with the way he scrunches his nose when he’s acting cute, is resting your head on his shoulder at a poetry reading and pressing kisses to his jaw between poems

dating younghyun is him waiting outside the studio at 3 a.m. with hot chocolate and that assignment you needed to print, is running your fingers through his hair until he relaxes enough to sleep after getting anxious about a test, is teaching each other the languages you speak and rewarding each other with kisses when you remember vocab, is closing his laptop and pulling him to bed when he refuses to stop working, is coffee and ink-stained hands and switching languages mid-sentence

more than anything dating younghyun is like a story, a draft that gets better the more you pour time and effort and love into it, is the magic of surprising turns of phrase, is a collaboration you couldn’t ask for a better co-author for, and you know for a fact this is going to be your magnum opus.

[icharchivist]

hey icha whats hypmic??

Heyaaa and ooooh dear where do i even begin…..

Erg so in very short it’s a musical mixed media story that have kind of a corny set up that is mostly an excuse to have fictional male characters of different background involve themselves into rap battles? Most of its content comes from songs and drama CD, even if there are a few manga adaptation covering a couple of the drama tracks (albeit all those covered are how the teams got together and all).

In a little more depth: Basically a group of 12 Seiyuu decided to band together into a principe of rap battle, that would also give a spotlight to multiple rap artists in Japan, as they do collaboration by writting/composing the songs. All of the Seiyuu play different characters divided in 4 divisions: Buster Bros!! for Ikebukuro, Mad Trigger Crew for Yokohama, Fling Posse for Shibuya, and Matenrou for Shinjuku. Each divisions/characters have distinct styles of music or text to differenciate them.

The idea is that, after World War 3 and a lot of the population dying, weapons causing harms had been outlawed, instead remplaced by what we call Hypnosis Microphone (or Hypmic), weapons that attack the brain via its sonic vibes, thus are more powerful depending on how savy you are with words and sounds and all of that. (like i said, it’s corny, it’s really just a pretext for the battles ahah)

The Government, that is kinda shady, took hold into Chuuouku, the center of the city, and the rest of the towns are left to fend for their own, indulging in territories battles. By the time the story start, 4 teams have taken a hand into 4 divisions where they try their best to low the crime rate and make life better, this sort of stuff. Recently however, the Government decided to keep a closer eye on the Rap Battle themselves, organizing huge Event in Chuuouku for the Divisions to fight each other, and the winner can therefore have major impact on what gets developped in the city and all.

It’s also important to know that the 4 leaders of the divisions, Ichiro, Samatoki, Ramuda and Jakurai, used to be in a band together, The Dirty Dawg, and they were very close - Something ended up breaking up the band (it is unsure what it is exactly) and left them with sort of bittersweet relationship with each other as they’re now in a position where they have to fight each other.

Again though most of it is mostly a pretext for songs and character driven plotlines for those 12 to fuck shit up: 

(here a link to the translation, and here’s a link for the playlist of the songs they put on youtube - mostly previews except for the Ensemble songs - i can send the full songs/drama CDs but in private since it’s… illegal and all.You’ll find all the translations out on this website, and here you’ll find the drama tracks. And there for the solo songs only but idk how long this website will keep them up.)

(btw here’s the second ensemble song and here’s the third one - i tend to prefer them to the first one so here they are)

So like i said, corny, but character driven and i love those morons, and the songs are bangers, and i ended up loving it ways too much.

I’ll enter more in depth on the Divisions under the cut bc i do think knowing a bit the characters give a better idea but yeah kdjfhd my latest obsession rip.

If you’re reading this i’m so sorry i’m going to geek out over my 12 stupid sons.

btw (MC: ___) is their scene names, basically.

And erg while i try to avoid spoilers from the latest season, there’s a lot of “spoilers” from backstory exposition or information spreads through the drama tracks and the songs, so either just scroll to see the name and all or read at your own risks? 

Buster Bros!!! representing Ikebukuro Division - in red, Ichiro Yamada (19yo) the leader,in blue, Jiro Yamada (16yo), in yellow Saburo Yamada (14). (Previews of their solo songs, preview of their first group song Ikebukuro West Game Park, their second group song: Ohayo Ikebukuro!)

Ichiro, Jiro and Saburo are brothers - they are orphans (unknown why but since Ichiro rejects any fathr figure p strongly i think it’s linked to their father) and Ichiro, the eldest brother, had taken care of his two little brothers most of his life to the point of being a delicant before being recruited by the Dirty Dawg. Before the story started the boys weren’t all that close, but by now, both little brothers want to prove their worth to their eldest brothers and when the Dirty Dawg broke up and Ichiro had to figure out which team to make for the Rap Battles, both brothers offered to help. Despite both being ways too young for this they still both ended up proving themselves. They also tend to fight for their big brother’s attention a lot.

Ichiro (MC Big Brother) himself seems to be a rather warm and friendly person - he works odd jobs all around town, kind of like a mercenary but doing just… any sort of work being asked of him, just not in the illegal stuff when he can avoid it. He’s rather hot headed. He used to be very close from the Dirty Dawg who took care of him when they met, especially Samatoki, but since the band’s break up, it seems there is a particularly sour relationship with Samatoki neither of them are over with. Ichiro often disses Samatoki out of nowhere in his raps lmao. Aside from that he’s a complete geek and loves manga and anime and video game - all the stuff you’d expect.

Jiro, (MC Middle Brother) the second, tends to follow Ichiro’s path a lot, being a bit in delincance and stuff, creating himself a web of contacts. He tends to copy Ichiro in his passions in order to impress him. He’s also very social and get friends very easily. He’s constantly bickering with Saburo who seems to see their “brotherhood” as a competition. They used to be very close when they were younger but now they’re always at each other’s throat.

Saburo (MC Little Brother), the third, doesn’t really want to follow the path of his brothers but he wants to be useful in his own way. Incredibly clever, he is a very good hacker and can find information very quickly. He also has some of the sickest burn of the lot but i’m biased. Unlike Jiro, Saburo is really not social at all and has very few friends. His whole world is about being the best he can be for Ichiro.He likes things that can stimulate his brian, especially board games and the likes. 

Mad Trigger Crew, representing Yokohama Divison- Center in white, Samatoki Aohitsugi(25) the Leader - with glasses, Juuto Iruma (29), in military uniform, Riou Busujima Manson (28).(Previews of their solo songs, preview of their first group song: Yokohama Walker, their second group song: Dead Pools)

If The BB are linked by the fact they’re brothers, MTC is linked by being….. Involved in armed illegal activities? Samatoki is the second in command of a Yakuza family, Juuto is a corrupted cop who is close to Samatoki because of… work…. and Riou kinda ended up tagging along. Anyway they’re in charge of Yokohama which seems to be a part of the city that suffered pretty badly from the war and have high crime rates.

In more details, Samatoki (MC Mr Hardcore) is involved in the mafia. He explains in his personal song that his mother killed his abusive father before killing herself, leaving him to take care of his little sister, Nemu, which is what led him to a life of crime. His Yakuza clan seems to have a honor code though so they’re not involved in too much dirty stuff. Every sacrifice Samatoki did was for his sister. So obviously he saw a bit of himself in Ichiro when they originally met, and was one of the influencial force to keep Ichiro out of the crime life knowing pretty well where it’s headed. The Band breakup left a particularly sour taste in Samatoki’s mouth regarding Ichiro, feeling betrayed by whatever happened back then, and since then he tends to be. touchy. when it’s question of Ichiro. As in, almost caused a car crash while he wasn’t driving just thinking about Ichiro. He’s a mess. He’s also very short tempered. 

Juuto (MC 45 Rabbit) is a corrupted cop: while he works with the police and all the stuff, he has ties with Samatoki’s yakuza clan and will do shady stuff in order to maintain this alliance. Mostly blackmail, bailing Samatoki out of jail, all this sort of things. He seems to have a specific reason to accept it, a necessary evil to get rid of wickedness in the city. Juuto’s backstory was only developped in the latest drama tracks so it would count as spoilers but let’s say he has reasons to do so.He’s generally more down to earth and more tongue in cheek. He knows how to pick up people’s weaknesses let’s say.

Riou (MC Crazy M) is an army man who isn’t aware the war is over. He has been living in survival mode in the forest of Yokohama for the past few years, having also one of the prototype Hypnosis Mic, with more raw power. His hobbies is to cook from… unusual sources. Samatoki and Juuto are terrified by his cooking.  There isn’t much revealed yet about Riou’s backstory however. Juuto found out about him and put him in contact with Samatoki when it was question to develop MTC, and they have since then developped a companionship of sort.

Fling Posse, representing Shibuya Division (also they’re my favs❤ which will be obvious in two mins bc i rambled much more about them holy fuck)- In the middle with pink hair, Ramuda Amemura (24), with brown hair, Gentaro Yumeno (24), with blue hair, Dice Arisugawa (20)(Previews of their solo songs, preview of their first group song, Shibuya Marble Texture, their second group song: Stella (aka my most listened hypmic song that made me unhealthily obsessed with the series) )

I don’t even know where to start with them. Don’t be fooled by how cute they look, they’re the most shady group. Officially, they’ve all been recruited by Ramuda “only for the thrill of it”, “To kill boredom”, but it also happens that they are the three with the most ties to the government. But none of them tend to really talk about it. Not really. They are very “living in the present” kind of people, even if it comes with risks. Ramuda gathered them for his own agenda. Neither Gentaro nor Dice knew each other before Ramuda put them together and neither know why Ramuda gathered them aside as “for the thrill”. Gentaro however has major doubts over the kind of person Ramuda is. 

Ramuda (MC Easy R) is their leader. He is a fashion designer. He was the one who put the Dirty Dawg together back in the days, and seems to have… weird reasons to do anything he’s ever doing. Honestly i don’t know how to even touch how shady he is, but he’s all shade of shady. He will however always sound super cute. The only person he seems to not bear the sight of is Jakurai, his ex-teammate from the Dirty Dawg. They used to be very close but now things are very tense in between them, mostly with Ramuda setting as much distances as possible he can and hardly managing to remain cheerful around him. 

Gentaro (MC Phantom) is a writter and also a chronic liar. You litterally cannot trust a single thing coming out of his mouth, he’s always making something up. His personal song is supposed to talk about his past but there’s like, a big lie in the begining of it (”I was born in winter” yOU’RE BORN ON APRIL THE FIRST.). One thing that is certain about him however, is that he has a friend who is very sick and at the hospital and that it seems to be the motivation behind all of his lies, as he started to make up fictions to cheer up his friend and turned his own life into a fiction by extension. There’s more shady stuff about him and his past, i could discuss it for hours (he’s my fav kdhfd). But mostly, he’s just the kind to tease people a lot and to not really expect to have friends that stick arounds, considering himself a untrustworthy unredeemable trash. He has a weird dynamic with his own sense of self, always making up false selves. I legit could talk for hours about it kdjhfd.  He tends to over-tease Dice because Dice falls for every single of his lies, and he tends to have a soft spot for him. He’s also extremely observant since he writes story he makes up from people he observes, so he catches on stuff more easily. Gentaro’s lyrics are often more inclined toward poetry or well, work of fictions (he wrote Stella in verse and Stella is kindof a Posse!Au of how Gentaro sees the Posse. Stellaaaaaa)

Dice (MC Dead or Alive)  is… a professional disaster? Joke aside, he’s a gambler who tends to push his luck a loooot. (there’s a lot of implications about how he doesn’t have a stable place to crash in because most of his rent money go into gambling). His outlook on life are really mostly that he wants to live a life that gives him legit thrills. He hates being bored. It’s heavily implied that he comes from a rich, influencial family but threw it all away for his addiction.  The only reason he agreed to join the Posse was for the thrill the rap battles would provide. He also kinda considers himself a lowrate trash due to the lifestyle he’s living.He’s rather guilible, falling for every single of Gentaro’s lies despite how obvious they are, and gets teased a lot by both of his teammates. He’s also fiercely protective and combative. He is also the king of bad decisions and of having to drag his posse in them. (well mostly Gentaro). He’s also loves the Posse in itself and is the one who’s the most likely to brag about how great his band is. He genuinely loves his teammates and it makes me so soft,,. He’s also very perceptive, realizing very quickly when his teammates are changing their mood. And again he protecc,,

Matenrou - Representing Shinjuku DivisionCenter with purple hair: Jakurai Jinguji (35), the blond is Hifumi Izanami (29) and the gingerhead is Doppo Kannonzaka (29)(Previews of their solo songs, preview of their first group song, Shinjuku Style, their second group song: Papiyon that wasn’t put on youtube yet but should in a couple of weeks)

Matenrou is the band with the darkest aesthetic, protecting the Shinjuku’s division that came to be known mostly for the health problems, if i understand well also because the only functioning hospital is located there. Jakurai is a doctor and Doppo is his patient, while Hifumi is Doppo’s childhood friend and roomate. They end up tangled together after Hifumi gets threats on his life pushing Doppo to reach out for Jakurai, who took an interest on them as possible teammates when everything unfolded. 

Jakurai (MC ill-Doc) is… an interesting character i dare not to spoil the backstory of but let’s say he has some dark past. As a person however, he is fascinated by people’s psychee, how they work, what pushes them to do stuff, and is therefore attracted to “interesting people”, people that makes him want to explore human’s psychee. Back in the Dirty Dawg’s day, it was what drove Jakurai to be very interested in Ramuda…. Until he considered Ramuda’s humanity too lost to be saved after the band broke up, which Jakurai blames partially on Ramuda. Ramuda remains the only person to have ever made Jakurai lose his patience. Otherwise, Jakurai is a rather collected and a very kind man, who tries to reach out and help others when he can. But again, dark past and stuff and some shady stuff went on with Ramuda. He found an interest in Doppo and Hifumi as he got to know them and now is rather protective of the two of them, often going fishing with Hifumi and doing anything to uplift Doppo.He’s also a terrible drinker. Don’t let him drink.He has one of my favorite solo song though and he has a sort of goth existantialism vibe to him i just love. 

Hifumi (MC Gigolo) is Doppo’s childhood best friend and roomate. Now Hifumi’s story is a bit huh.. particular. When he was very young he had had a very traumatic experience with women that led him to be utterly terrified of being even nearby one. When he reached adulthood, he considered he couldn’t keep going like that and forced himself into a woman dominated space by becoming a Host, to overcome his fear. It was so hard on him however that he ended up… coping by considering that when he was wearing the Suit of the Host, he was a complete different person. Not quite split personality, but autosuggestion mostly. He gets into all sort of troubles with the suit on however. The only person he relies completely on is Doppo, whom he knows from childhood and with whom he lives. Hifumi is a good cook, and is always trying to cheer up his friend. because…

Doppo (MC Doppo) is an anxious disaster of a man. He’s your typical overworked office worker, who is handling this life pretty badly. He feels like his whole life is something he should be apologizing for, which he does all the time. He’s honestly unhealthily anxious and that’s why he is Jakurai’s patient.  He’s seriously a depressed, anxious disaster who’s only light seems to mostly be that Hifumi cheers on him all the time… when Hifumi doesn’t create a terrible situation Doppo feels like he has to apologize for. However Doppo is someone you can rely on, with a lot of frustration bottled inside him to the  point of it becoming an amazing weapon once unleashed with the rap battles. He’s very quick and ressourceful when put into extreme lifethreatening situation, which got Jakurai’s attention a lot. 

So this is the main divisions and characters. There are more developped via the drama CDs obviously, more plot and all, but that’s the gist of it. Honestly again it’s just a pretext for characters and songs that fits their characters. 

I personally never expected to care about it that much - i have friends who had been talking about it for over a year and i just knew it a bit in passing until i started to casually listen to the songs - and then i went down the rabbit hole when i ended up loving the songs too much to not care for the characters. (Stella was my breaking point though. The moment it came out I was lost. This was the moment i dedicated myself to it. I could go on a full ramble just on Stella alone.)

And yeah it kinda shows i have a major bias but my favs are truly the Posse - both as characters and as music style goes. Close second is Matenrou though i love their aesthetics.

the first battle season is over, it’s easy to know from their youtube how it unfolded ahah. The first round was BB VS MTC, the second FP VS MTR. Each rounds came with drama CD setting up the dynamics of the characters in and out of their bands, which was pretty cool. 

After the First Battle Season ended we were blessed with a drama track and song from the Dirty Dawg era which is why i cannot stop shutting the fuck up about it dkjhfd it makes me so sad to look back to how close they were and how they threw all of this away…. 

Now a new season is starting but this is where we’re missing translations so we just… wait. 

There are a few manga that covers a few of the drama tracks but not all, and there will be a mobile game soon. 

But yeah that’s. that’s basically the basis. 

And it is far too entertaining to me kdjhfd

and i probably shouldn’t have written all of that with a killer headache but i,, love they,,,

so yeah this is all there is to know. If you’ve read it this far… i admire your patience. Thank u

And take care!

[thelovingschool]

The Fantastic Four to the Fourth Power, Part 2 -- My Crucible Experience

I've recently finished Doris Kearns Goodwin's excellent book, Leadership in Turbulent Times, in which she details the ways in which four US presidents served as leaders through pivotal historical moments. As I wrote in my previous post, there were commonalities among the four presidents in the ways they led during critical times. I enjoyed learning about those turbulent times, yes, but I also really enjoyed part two of the book, in which Goodwin describes how each president, earlier in their lives, underwent a “crucible” moment, a transformative experience that was instrumental in shaping the identities of the leaders they would become. The ways in which each president transformed themselves was both intriguing and highlighted the differences among them. Reflecting on those differences and on my own experiences has led me to an interesting idea. Let me explain.

My own crucible experience was not brought on by loss, as was the case for our presidents, to whom I promise to return. In the summer of 2016, I traveled to Bethlehem, Pennsylvania, as part of the Lehigh University Global Distance Program. I had been teaching overseas for over ten years, and was interested in moving into school leadership. Lehigh had (and has) the best program for international teachers to earn their MEds through a hybrid program, some courses online, some face-to-face. I had been teaching in Panama for a year, and had taken courses via Zoom already. But that summer I packed a bag, said goodbye to my wife and one-year-old son, and lived in a dorm for five weeks with a bunch of other international teachers, leaders, and counselors, while I took three educational leadership courses. I dove into the experience as much as I could -- reading every additional article that was assigned, organizing social outings with my peers (Go Lehigh Valley Iron Pigs!), and learning as much as I could. The three courses, Organizational Leadership and Change Management, School Law, and Diversity and Multicultural Understanding, all unlocked within me a greater knowledge about my career as an educator and my life in general than I ever thought possible. I was so fortunate to have the experiences I did, and gain the insights that I did, that I returned with a passion to collaborate, serve, and lead, that I simply hadn’t had before. It was truly transformational. I think of my career before that summer and after.

The first course I took led me to an insight that, when I had it, must have seemed obvious to my outstanding professor, Dr. George White. We were studying Bolman and Deal’s Reframing Organizations, in which the authors describe the four frames of organizational leadership: structural, human resources, political, and cultural/symbolic. It’s a fantastic book, and George brought the text to life in a way that few teachers have ever brought a book to life. Because these frames are important to the rest of these blog posts I want to take a minute to review them. The structural frame involves order. Timetables, roles and responsibilities, hierarchies, logistics. Important in the structural frame are things like job titles and job descriptions. As my partner principal Brian would describe it, the structural frame is the “systems and structures” frame. George professes that he himself is not a systems and structures guy, but he understands the importance of viewing the organization through that frame. The second frame is human resources. Essentially this is about caring for your colleagues, and attending to their needs. A leader viewing things from the HR frame wants to help empower her or his staff and help them grow. The political frame was described by George as essentially Game of Thrones. A battle for survival. The battle was over important resources: people, time, space, and funds. In order to succeed in viewing the organization through this frame a leader has to be a politician. As Heifetz and Linsky would say, use allies well, keep the opposition close, and court the uncommitted. Political savviness is a vital part of leadership (and an area in which I still have lots of room for growth). The final frame is the cultural/symbolic frame. This has to do with the story of the organization; its rituals and traditions. A leader who understands how to view things through this frame knows the symbolic importance of certain members of the organization who maintain those traditions, and how important it is to frame the narrative well with respect for the past along with progress toward the future. Story matters, as all of our presidents found out. The trick, and the tricky part, is to be able to balance the four frames, so that as a leader you are not viewing the organization too much from any one frame, and also that you aren’t neglecting any frames.

This was a phenomenal lesson to learn, and one I have found helpful as I analyze leadership challenges we face at our school. But George wasn’t done there. We also focused on change management in the course, and spent some time discussing Shapiro and Stefkovich’s work, Ethical Leadership and Decision Making in Education. These authors describe four foundations for ethical decision making. As a student of philosophy, I’m all in for any discussion of ethics. In fact, fifteen years previously, I took a graduate course called Foundations of Ethics through the BC Philosophy department, where Professor Patrick Byrne described his love for “Bernie and the Two Janes,” or Bernard Lonergan, the Jesuit theologian, Jane Austen, the author, and Jane Jacobs, the sociologist. I love Lonergan and Jane Austen too. I mention them briefly because I feel my life’s work is devoted to understanding how Lonergan’s philosophy applies to educational leadership, and because Jane Austen is JK Rowling’s favorite author. Later in this post we will finally get to a discussion of Harry Potter! But for now, ethical foundations.

Shapiro and Stefkovich describe four ethical foundations for decision making: the ethic of justice, ethic of care, ethic of critique, and the ethic of the profession. A better summary than mine can be found here, but I’ll give it a try. The ethic of justice is exactly what it sounds like: making decisions based on a sense of fairness, equality, equity, respect. Legality matters to those who make decisions based on the ethic of justice. The questions that drive those who make decisions based on the ethic of justice are WHAT and HOW. Essentially this is Plato in The Republic, meditating on what justice really is. The ethic of care involves being empathetic toward others. There is a lot of great work happening now in education regarding compassion and dignity, and treating everyone with both. This work arises from an ethic of care. The question that drives the ethic of care is FOR WHOM, and it arose out of the work of the feminist Carol Gilligan. The ethic of critique asks the question WHO. As in who benefits from the way things are being done now? Who made the decisions? Notice the difference between the subjective ‘who’ and the objective ‘whom’ in the ethics of critique and care, which is one of my favorite grammar lessons to teach, and says everything to me about both of those foundations for decision making. One of my undergraduate courses was Philosophy of Education, in which I was introduced to Paulo Freire, and the ethic of critique fits his ideas in Pedagogy of the Oppressed. The ethic of critique is about power, who has it and who wields it, and also asks, “is that right?” Finally, the ethic of the profession is specific to the context. Similar to the hippocratic oath for medical professionals of “do no harm,” educators have a responsibility to those they profess to educate. This ethic comes down to the fundamental question of WHY we do what we do in this profession. As I wrote in the last post, if we don’t understand our WHY as educators, if we’ve lost our purpose, Baruti Kafele will rightly tell us we should just get out of the profession. It’s about us as educators evaluating our own decision-making values in light of the fact that we are all here to serve our students and their learning.

So this is all well and good, but I don’t mean to just write book report after book report. I want to make a point. And what I pondered in that course five summers ago with Dr. White was the simple notion that there are four frames of organizational leadership and there are four foundations for ethical decision making. Four. Four of them. Four of each. Why four? Is there some significance here? And then it hit me. The four frames align PERFECTLY with the four foundations for ethical decision making.

The structural frame is about order, systems, structures. In a sense, it is about fairness. It IS the lens through which the ethic of justice is viewed.

The human resource frame is about compassion, empathy, meeting our staff’s needs. It IS the lens through which the ethic of care is viewed.

The political frame is all about utilizing power to exert influence and gain control over time, people, space, and financial resources. It’s about control, and who is controlling. The ethic of critique is finely attuned to understanding this frame, as it asks who is exerting power.

Finally, the symbolic/cultural frame has everything to do with the story of the organization, with its purpose, with its WHY. Therefore, those who base decisions on the ethic of the profession are inherently interested in the important symbolic nature of what they do.

To illustrate this further I’ll start this small table:

So as I was thinking about this, and wondering not only if this made sense, but also if this mattered at all, I started seeing other sets of four arise in educational literature, leadership literature, and self-knowledge literature. Fours are EVERYWHERE. Those fours started really turning the wheels in my mind, thinking about not only ways to organize and think about what we do, how we do it, who we are, and why we do it, but also how those organizational frameworks can help us better understand how to do it better. These connections will continue to be the subjects of future posts.

Of course, I also thought of some pop culture sets of four: The Fantastic Four and the Beatles came immediately to mind. But what really struck me were the four houses in Hogwarts: Slytherin, Hufflepuff, Gryffindor, and Ravenclaw. How THESE align with the four frames and the four ethical foundations is the subject of my next post. Thanks again for reading!

[cindyfelicia]

Hi, I hope you’re doing well!! I was just wondering if you read comics? If so could you recommend some/ how to start getting into them? I want to start reading them, but it’s so stressful trying to figure out where to start. Also I love you blog!

Hi there! you’re all manners of sweet and kind thank u my advice abt approaching comics is going for solo runs first, this is how I, personally, did it and it’s way easier than jumping in on team books, or worse events bc they tend to be messier and need more bg info and pre-existing knowledge than a comic that focus on just the one character; I also feel it’s good to start with current or at least recent comics, you can always read the old stuff when you’re better acquainted with how comics work and which characters, artists and writers you like (or can tolerate).

actual recs under the cut because this got so long

i was gonna do a whole list of mcu characters’ solos because most people entry point to comics rn is superhero movies, and hmu if you want that, but instead I think I’m gonna rec you some good comics that are either separated enough from main marvel continuity as to be intelligible without extensive info gathering, or I just think they’re great and worth a bit of confusion (part of starting out reading comics is not knowing fully wth is going on sometimes, but stiking with it for some good art or for characters you love -I’m not gonna go so far as to say for good writing bc that’s just not realistic):

if you like yourself some spider-people:- silk (2015) and vol 2 (2016) are my absolute favorites- I’m not very much into spiderman but I read renew your vows  and it’s lovely,  it’s just not a main universe comic it’s an au where things are as, imo, they should be with ye old web slinger, and it’s good for getting your feet wet in the huge pool of spider-man comics;- I love miss jessica drew (spider-woman) but her solo is……. questionable if someone has a good jess drew intro rec pls tell me so I can pass it on, - miles morales has been written badly in more ways than one but I love him so I suffer, I can direct you without scruples only to his novel tho, absolutely lovely and not written by brian michaelbendis lmao- anya corazon is a really good character that marvel loves to forget it has, let’s not make the same mistake;- black widow 2014 and 2016 and bw: the name of the rose are all good comics (I know technically nat isn’t a spider person but like nothing about spider-woman’s powers screams ‘spider’ either so..

for wakanda I’d say good recent start-ups would be: - black panther (2016), - black panther: world of wakanda (w/ a lesbian couple as protag), - and rise of the black panther (ongoing)

some non x-men team books that are easier to approach as a beginner imho:-young avengers vol 2 (vol 1 has its moments if you want to start from the beginning with them but a lot of it involves the civil war arc and stuff.. also some characters die, the art is less good and I want to protect people from 17’s yo cassie lang’s nipples poking through her shirt.. I wish someone had protected me tbh) -I want to rec some Runaways but besides the current run (which is alright) there’s a lot to be said against the writing in most of the rest of them maybe vol 1? to have the origins pinned down-I feel like after a small read through of what exactly the hell was going on with secret wars you could approach A-Force vol 1 and the first half of vol 2 (the second half ties in with civil war II and I’m not touching that mess) and that and avenger world and sometimes secret avengers to me are good avengers books-she hulk 2014 and totally awesome hulk are my greens of choice but if you want an intro to bruce banner idont actually know, sorry-for the asgardians: thor 2014 and it’s follow up mighty thor, thor: god of thunder, angela: asgard’s assassin and its sequel angela: queen of hel, and loki: agent of asgard are my pick of this crop-we also have Fun here at marvel comics on occasion and both patsy walker aka hellcat and squirrel girl are nice in their own way although the latter isn’t really my thing

some follow up on the young avengers:- hawkeye (2013) an absolute fan favorite, good to discover that actually clint barton was a good character it’s that the avengers movies are just bad and hate people with disabilities- a couple of follow-ups to that (x) (x) and the kate bishop solo all pretty nice- america chavez’s solo (I’m just here to suggest gay comics, that’s almost all I read really)

I want to rec Champions to people but frankly it’s just a long series of event interruptions and bullshit interspersed with a couple of nice moments so far, so I’m gonna rec you some kids that are in the champions and have solos I haven’t already mentioned:- kamala khan’s book is probably my favorite ongoing series at marvel right now about any non-mutant char, I cannot say enough good about it,- nova is nice,- miles morales (spider-man) and amadeuscho (totally awesome hulk) are also there but I’ve already mentioned themalso in this house we love and respect elektranatchiosand any other attitude just isn’t tolerated.

on to the x-men, gotta love those guys, you just gotta:- like I said I prefer to tell people to start from recent comics but with the xmen that’s so difficult? it’s been 10+ bad years for them because of the movie rights situation and just marvel being shit in general, so my one recent team book to approach the x-men is prob x-men ‘92? because its based off of the xm animated series so you don’t have to straightaway deal with some mutant plague, eugenics plots, and other catastrophic events, but you can still get to know more of the char we all love - I want to say generation x vol 2, it’s not a good starting point for anything really but I love it so so much I had to mention it even tho it was cancelled and I’m still angry as hell about it.

the solo situation is better. I’m gonna be able to breathe without tasting my own bile while I type this, hurray!-all new wolverine follows laura kinney as she takes up the mantle from logan-iceman, good solid comic abt coming out and ice puns, who doesn’t like bobby really-jean grey, yes she’s a teen girl in this, yes it’s weird and I hate de-aging characters but it’s nice to see her train with different mutants, struggling with the incoming phoenix force and her adult self’s shadow, not really great entry point to jean grey but id read it anyway-if you were into the 00’s xmen movies like me, or at least a normal person’s amount the phoenix recently returned and with her adult!jean grey, it was a good book for me and good if you want to later start reading the actual phoenix saga (which is a lot of material so starting small with this might help) -I love wandamaximoff and despite what they’ve done to the maximoffs in order to bring them into the mcu (was it worth it for that result btw? really?) her recent book was good and I genuinely loved it -storm’s solo is so good, you’re gonna fall in love with an het ship and you’re not gonna regret it either-rogue and gambit, is ongoing and it’s good to get a little acquainted with these characters but mostly it’s about explorign their relationship

I’m sure I’m forgetting a lot of good x-men content atm but I can’t stop thinking I need to mention that there are ongoing series you could pick up its just.. I hate them.. some started out promising (xmen gold, astonishing xmen), but they’ve not developed in good directions imo, but I still feel they should be mentioned, there’s also a weapon x comic if you want to go for a more bloody kind of book and xmen blue if you like time displaced teens or something? god its bad

jeez this is so so long and guess what? I haven’t even finished yet.. there’s some excellent indie comics out there and with those you really don’t need to worry abt knowing any 30 years old lore or anything you pick them up and they explain themselves like any other normal media out there, I know, be still my heart:

- lumberjanes is my absolute favorite, a little corny, but so much fun and cuteness and if I could go back in time I’d give it to my little bi self so she’d know she’s not alone and anything I feel that ways about has a special place i my heart js

- Motor crush, there really isn’t any other comic book with a black lesbian as protagonist out there that I can think of, good if you’re into motorcycles but if like in my case that threatens to put you to sleep, it also has a sci-fi streak and solid character work, you won’t regret giving it a try

- moonstruck, cute non-white gay werewolves and other mythological creatures are there, I feel this cathers to me specifically every time I open it?? bless

- Hi-Fi fight club or heavy vinyl (they changed the title) if you want a period piece that’s fun and cute and gay (I meant it about me reading only gay comics as you can tell)

- saga, for a space, well ya know.. saga I feel that I can describe it as romeo and juliet in space with added racial commentary except they don’t kill themselves, I have to say not my favorite but you might stick with it for the characters, I sure do

- the wicked + the divine, I feel very much the same about this as I do about saga, only this is mythology based so like.. I sold my soul to it, but please do tread with care there’s a lot of deaths in it and so many of these dead people are gays and/or poc.. I’m none too pleased about it and I’d understand anyone not wanting to pick it up, I mean the deaths are basically in the premises of the books but that doesn’t change the end result..

lastly like I said dc is not my area of expertise but I’ve been following with pleasure both batwoman and green lanterns, and mr miracle was an amazing comic so I thought I’d mention them

[noahxsweetwine]

mistletoe

(no one sent this prompt I just wrote it bc I’m igyts trash. Also, I’m not a writer so this is probably bad asfflkajskl)

Jude Age 14

I hate mistletoe.

Given my trademark infatuation with the superstitious, most assume mistletoe is one of my good omens. In fact, Grandma Sweetwine’s Bible makes no mention of the spiky sprig, so I am left to turn to traditional ancient lore to find meaning in it.

The Druids believed mistletoe was a magical cure for every ailment. On the eve of their new year, they gathered it from oak trees, careful to not let it touch the ground. Then they hung it over their doorways and made it into drinks to take advantage of its fortuitous properties.

Mistletoe is actually poisonous. What’s more, it’s parasitic. It invades the soil around another plant’s roots and seeps the life out of it in order to live. The Druids were trying to cure one poison with another. 

The more well-known connotation seems ridiculous to me. It’s as if we ignore the obvious danger of the plant for its seemingly harmless and beautiful appearance. (Better not walk under the mistletoe unless you want to smooch someone! What a joke.) Even if I did, the boycott is under full effect. They say if a woman is not kissed under the mistletoe at all during the season, she is destined to stay single for a year. That’s absolutely fine with me.

Some well-intentioned (or possibly mischievously-intentioned) CSA students thought it was a great idea to line the halls with the offending parasite. I’ve managed to mostly avoid it, but I have to check before I walk through doorways. (This isn’t too much extra effort: doorways are an auspicious liminal space anyway, so I’ve always been careful. Depending on who you ask, walking through an entryway backwards can be good or bad luck. Though, most things are either good luck or bad luck depending on who you ask.)

Once, though, I was in a rush to get to Anatomy (the science requirement for CSA students - it’s meant to be more tailored towards aspiring artists. I like it better than traditional science classes, but they still haven’t taught me what I really want to know. How can your twin brother’s beautiful brain suddenly stop communicating with his body? Why does my heart still feel pain when I’m hurt if emotions are controlled by the mind? What happens to the human body when it’s run through with a car?) In my haste, I didn’t look up before entering, and ended up nearly colliding with Caleb Cartwright (art-is-truth, I-have-no-filter Caleb Cartwright). I only dropped my pencil, but when I bent down to pick it up, there was snickering from within the classroom.

“Mistletoe,” one boy with purple hair pointed out. He looked immensely pleased with himself, despite the fact that he had spinach stuck in his teeth. “Wouldn’t want to defy tradition, would you, CJ?”

I gritted my teeth. In fact, I did not subscribe to every superstition out there, I wanted to say. I borrowed from what I saw fit, but Grandma Sweetwine’s Bible was my only obligation. Instead of saying anything, however, I pushed past Caleb, who looked like he couldn’t care less, honestly.

“No offense,” started Randy Brown. “But you look red as a tomato, CJ.”

I probably did. I willed my body to cease its vasodilation (a word I learned in Anatomy. See, education is not wasted on me.) The CSA kids aren’t nearly as malicious as those at my old school, but they often don’t have the tact (or the desire, maybe) to keep themselves from saying whatever came to mind. I wondered how Noah was surviving at the normal high school. 

The bell rang, and I took my usual seat next to Fish. (Most CSA teachers changed the seating arrangements regularly to “promote evolving artistic collaboration,” but Anatomy was different because it involved lab partners.) Fish was staring intently at a Rubik’s cube she was holding in her hand. I wondered when she had gotten it, as I’d never seen her with it before. 

I snap out of the memory. The mistletoe has started disappearing over the past few weeks, but I keep up my constant vigilance. I spot a sprig laying on the door frame leading to the art wing.

They say if mistletoe is allowed to touch the ground, disaster is sure to follow.

I flick the mistletoe off the door frame. I’m Calamity Jude, after all. Disaster seems to follow me anyway.

Jude Age 16

Maybe the Druids were right.

I keep finding bits of mistletoe in the hood of my jacket. Maybe it’s the work of my fellow CSA students, but I can’t imagine what reasons they would have for that and I doubt they would keep up the prank for five days in a row. More likely, it’s one (or both) of my matriarchal specters who is responsible. If it was meant to frustrate me, it’s probably Mom. If it’s supposed to...encourage me, or get me in the “holiday spirit,” it’s probably Grandma.

The French called mistletoe the “specter’s wand” and thought that its holder would have the power to see and communicate with ghosts. (I’ve never needed help with that.)

Regardless of the planter’s intention, the mistletoe has brought me good luck for once. Or that’s the way it appears.

Guillermo has agreed to mentor me, and English Guy (whose name is OSCORE!) is...certainly something. I keep having to remind myself of the boycott. Yesterday he tried to return the orange to me, telling me that “satsumas” are traditionally given as gifts around Christmastime in his home country. 

My mind keeps drifting back to my last class before break: Thematic and Symbolic Art History. The lesson of the day was about, of all things, mistletoe. Or, at least, it was mistletoe-inspired. We learned the history and controversy surrounding works depicting the act of kissing. As in, The Kiss. All three versions: Klimt, Brancusi, Rodin. I wish Guillermo’s works had been included, now. 

Guillermo is introducing me to his methods of teaching. I thought Oscar’s modeling would be a one-time thing, but apparently I need a lot of practice in portraiture if I’m going to ever sculpt my mother. I’ve drawn Oscar a lot now. His face is practically seared into the back of my mind. (Does it violate the boycott if I’m thankful his face is so nice to look at?)

Some ancient peoples believed that mistletoe had the power to open all locks. (Do hearts count as locks?)

Am I stupid to dream?

Jude Age 18

I’ve warmed to the mistletoe idea over the years.

It might have something to do with the fact that Noah is currently enthusiastically hanging mistletoe around the houseboat. Like the boat’s name, his sudden interest in the superstition, statistically my area of expertise, is a mystery. (Or maybe not: he only started decorating after Dad and I extracted a promise from him that the kissing rule would not be under effect. I doubt he’ll tell that to Brian, however, when he comes back from vacation tomorrow.) The anniversary of Mom’s death seems to loom less ominously than in previous years.

My wary appreciation, however, doesn’t entirely stem from my brother’s antics.

Christmas isn’t really a big thing in the Sweetwine family. When we were little, Noah and I made sandmen instead of snowmen, and our gingerbread houses were definitely not indicators of our level of artistic potential (at least, I hope not). But now the only tradition we have is ordering pizza and staying inside to watch movies, which happens year-round (especially the pizza part when Noah has anything to say about it). 

I can appreciate the sentiment of the holiday, though. Renewal. Gratitude. Family.

Love.

I’m sick of losing soulmates. I’ve lost too many, especially in winter. Grandma. Mom (and Dad, for a while, around the same time). Zephyr.

At first, I thought the best way to heal was to cut out all possibility of love in my life. It seemed to be working for Noah. Hence, the boycott.

That went out the window as soon as I met Oscar and Guillermo. “I’m not okay,” Guillermo had said. “I’m not okay either,” I wanted to reply.

When I became Guillermo’s student, I felt like I was healing, through art and through Oscar. But over time, I realized Oscar had his own problems and we tended to amplify one another’s issues rather than resolve them. Being reciprocally “not okay” wasn’t an automatic path to a relationship. The inevitable breakup was mutual (if we were ever even in a relationship). It was nowhere close to being as messy as it could have been.

The whole Oscar thing should have made me more bitter about love. But it was more of a learning experience, really. A person can’t fix you. You can’t fix someone else. And too much of anything can kill you, as my toxicologist father often points out.

Mistletoe is the same way. It’s a parasitic species, yeah, and that shouldn’t be overlooked. Too much, and it seeps the life out of the forest. But in the right amounts, it has its place.

There was Zephyr. There was Oscar. There will be other chances. But for now, I’m content to have all ten fingers to draw and paint and sculpt with, a father and a brother to depend on in this rocking boat of a family, and the resolution to stop avoiding mistletoe as I walk through doorways.

When I think of mistletoe (and when I think of many things), Grandma Sweetwine’s words come to me:

Quick, make a wish. Take a (second or third or fourth) chance. Remake the world.

(Not confident I got the timeline right but just go with it. I know NoahandJude’s birthday is a bit before winter break, Jude met Oscar and Guillermo during winter break, and Diana died during a winter break....merry christmas/happy holidays!!)

(source for the lore)

[theday]

tagged by @ikyh and @younghyuuns ill be doing both sets !! :D thank you both for tagging me!! this got long so yall dont hav 2 read <3

ru?? rushee’s set!! me: wow ru does not sound like rushee at all ? djsjdhhjd im dumb but i realize now

i. do u believe in astrology? whats ur sign and do u line up with the features usually attributed to it?

fucc... i guess i do ;-0...... and yeah i think?????? like they say capricorns are cold bitches and funny nd im like ya thats me... but they also say we’re hard workers and im like uh.. dont know abt that karen !

ii. what’s ur favorite pair of socks?

bbbbbbb..... socks huh...... i guess my ankle ones? there are also socks that have actual designs on them and those r usually thicker.. keep my feets safe! most of them have pkmn designs bc.. yeah... love the poke mans

iii. what’s a food that reminds you of a specific moment/memory?

i could think of anythiing and get reminded of one situation if that makes sense.. but i thought of pineapple..pizza... anyway the memory isnt anythngn special its just me staring at my delicious hawaiian pizza..... at my favourite pizza place.... love that shit

iv. what’s the longest you’ve gone without sleeping?

i dont have the actual hours but the latest ive stayed up.. like willingly would be until 2am

v. how has ur taste in music changed throughout ur life?

went from 1d to 5so/s + other bands to utaite.... they cover vocaloid songs ig i never kno how2 explain what utaites r then 2 kpop.. but i still listen 2 bands + kpop and utaites.... so nothing much has changed ive just gone broader.. wider... expanded my tastes... 

vi. who’s ur fashion icon?

oh definitely kim wonpil

vii. what’s the dumbest thing you’ve ever done without realizing?

i breathe dumbass particles.. i cant think of one bc my brain probably blocked off all access to my horrifying past but ive been thinking abt how i used 2 send the boy i used 2 like 1d songs....................... 12 y/o old me rly thought. he’d listen.... 12 y/o me thought spamming him was a good idea glad ive learnt from that! 

viii. what’s something you want to brag about?

my grades but it didnt get me into psychology so nvm ! its still good though i didnt expect to get an A1 (hghest grade) for combined humanities since ive had a B my whole life without it i wouldnt be able to move on education wise lmao so thank god for that thanks cambridge thanks bell curve sunbaenim 

ix. when you imagine urself being happy in the future, where exactly are you (like the location!)?

oh definitely an apartment somewhere where its always windy and the curtains are always Moving and the sun just Shines in the room but its not that hot either its just full of warmth and yeah thats the dream maybe also walks in the park without having 2 worry abt sweating my pits out u kno! tldr anywhere but here

x. what’s something you’ve always wanted to own?

let me Think.... i dont need a lot/?? but id love hm.............. i want stability but realistically i want all the hh pcs from the code albums. 

xi. how’ve you been lately?

good good! i finished my *** fic and its. im proud of it though i know its not that good nd i can do better but its done ! and hm i could be going to see mx but asking my mum is stressing me out speaking of her she wont stop Coughing and she refuses to see the doctor ;-/ love those sleepless nights ! other than that i just want 2 get out and feel the sun ???/ wanna get out of this house yea but i need to be.. shady with my money i cant get a job because school is starting in a month and im going overseas again sometime next month so ! no ones gonna hire someone who can only work for 2 weeks at most dhzjhhs shouldve worked when i had the time dumbasses only

ok now falen

1. what’s been on your mind??

hm redacted feeling towards my mum but i cant say them bc itd be insensitive 

2. what are you looking forward to? 

mx? possibly but also finishing my enrolment papers

3. story time!: how and when did you get into day6!!!!!

fuck...... listen up LADS. 

ive told the same story like 10 times but im never gonna get tired of saying this shit bc i love miss boxy so much nd she deserves the appreciation anywy she introduced me 2 day6 after i saw this one (1) picture of brian in minion glasses and instantly i knew in that Fucking moment thatd id die for him. so i asked for the name of my murderer and was introduced to day6 whom frankly id never heard of b4 bdjhjh she sent me all their mvs and i still remember the night . i remember walking out of this japanese restaurant, twitter open, chat wiht boxy there and i was like.. interesting ill go listen when im home so i Did! and my mind was blown away bitch? i honest 2 god expected them to be a boy group,,, dancing and shit yknow? i didnt know k bands existed ! so as a previous 5/sos stan i was like wow. this??? this shit is 10/10 a fucking BANGER thats what i felt listening 2 i smile and just going :O over the fucking instruments so idk if how can i say was the last or second song but Damn. .. it made me scream thanks mister j** he rly dragged me by the collar of my shirt and threw me face first into Heaven so i watched everything i asked my friend for video recommendations and after boxy sent me a page with their face and names i was like this jae kid is 182 cm? wow gotta stan now im stupid and stupid for glasses and tall people so ! it happened bithc,, ugh i lov eday6 so much i remember binge watchng all their vlives after the july after party live (that being the first vlive i watched Ever in my entire life and i laghed so hard despite not understanding a damn thing) please id giv my heart and soul2 day6 im so happy with the way ive progressed as a myday :^( 

bonus when i first started stanning it was 26th june and shortly after i made a stan acc teasers were being dropped but i didnt kno why ppl were freaking out i remmeber seeing jae’s teaser nd going ? ok? its just a pic damn ;-/ and then eveeryone was like: dowoon! choker! me: wdhs? what

4. ????do you have any allergies????

did u think of jae and no i used to be allergic 2 dairy products but thats disappeared

5. a fond memory???

bowling with friends and im just a disaster of a friend im always so loud with them and i thank god everyday that they handle my energy ? i would cheer for them even if they got a gutter or whatever and when they got a strike id go clap like crazy i love my friends i also went i have the power of god and anime on my side before flinging the ball and theyd laugh despite not knowing what vine that was from i love my friends... psg if ur out there yall are the best x i miss hanigng out with them as a trio.. three of us :( 

6. do you paint your nails?? if so, what are your fave colors to use?? if not, why??  

thats so.. tiresome.......... dont u have 2 wait for it 2 dry and shit ? my mums always worried abt ruining the colour or some sht nd im like !!! okY!!!!!!! tldr its a pain in the ass

7. what are your favorite colors?? what are your fave colors to wear??

i like hte colour of the sky... all the colours........ yeah love that bithc and lately ive been wearing a lot of black shirts finally went out of my embarrassing colourful phase ! 

8. what languages would you like to learn?? for what reason(s)??

japanese nd korean jp because i listen to a lot of things in japanese and korean for the same reason but my priority would be jp even tho id love to communicate with my faves i just... yeah although im not exactly making an effort 2 learn bc im lazy but if i Could.... itd be those two

9. when you get stickers, do you use them or do you keep them??

DHDGFHDHDGDSJHJSJAKSSJHFHS THIS FEELS LIKE A CALL OUT???? i keep them......... 

10. are there any groups that you might get into/want to get into?

hm... well theres knk ive learnt their names and im finally able to put name 2 face so thats nice svt too if htey didnt have such large numbers... thats all for now i think?? i love evry girl group though i love gIRLS... 

11. how are you???

idk im constantly just fine?? not the im sad but im fine kind of fine im literally just neutral half the time wjhddshs wild 

both of your questions were really unique and i loved answering them thank you so much for tagging me and if youve read until the end thank you i hope you have a good day!

[obtusemedia]

The best songs of the 2010s: #75-51

#75: “The Only Thing” by Sufjan Stevens (2015)

It was tough to pick a single song from Sufjan Stevens’ masterpiece, Carrie and Lowell, for this list. The album, about his dead mother, is consistently beautiful and tragic throughout.

But “The Only Thing” has the most devastating line of the whole album, and possibly the whole decade, delivered in a wobbly falsetto: “Should I tear my eyes out now?/Everything I see returns to you somehow.” Case closed. Now please excuse me while I cry for the rest of the day.

#74: “Best Song Ever” by One Direction (2013)

If you can’t appreciate this slice of pop-rock perfection that shamelessly rips off The Who, I’m not sure we can be friends.

“Best Song Ever” still sounds as the pinnacle of One Direction’s career, with its fizzy arena-rock chorus and adorable lyrics about that one special night with a mysterious woman, never to be seen again. The Millennial Whoops are plentiful, and they are irresistible.

Yes, “Best Song Ever” is a corny boy band song. But A) it’s the best possible version of a corny boy band song. And B) boy bands are wonderful. Just embrace the cheese.

(Also, One Direction was the greatest boy band of all time. Don’t fight me on this.)

#73: “Pray For Rain” by Pure Bathing Culture (2015)

Portland shoegaze duo Pure Bathing Culture delivered the closest approximation to a prime Cocteau Twins single since the early ‘90s.

It’s got the icy synths and shoegaze guitars to throw any listener into a hypnotic groove. The secret ingredient that makes “Pray For Rain” stand out, however, is the thumping, snare-heavy beat that invokes both military drum lines and trip-hop. It adds a propulsion to the otherwise dreamy track, creating a dissonant yet incredible experience.

#72: “Not” by Big Thief (2019)

Unlike the hushed folksy whispers of Big Thief’s first 2019 album, “Not” is a furious, noisy firebomb of an indie rock jam. Lead singer Adrianne Lenker’s warble is pushed to its limits, as her vocals crack and strain while the song’s tension (and noise level) slowly ratchets up in the song’s first half. 

Then, the pent-up energy is finally released for an explosive, discordant two-and-a-half minute guitar solo. It’s pure chaos and anger distilled into one instrument, and the greatest moment so far of Big Thief’s promising career.

#71: “Dog Years” by Maggie Rogers (2016)

The strength of Maryland indie-pop prodigy Maggie Rogers’ first few singles is how in tune with nature she sounded. I’ve dubbed it “REI-pop.”

And none of her songs are more reminiscent of a high-end outdoors store than “Dog Years” — and yes, that’s a compliment. “Dog Years” incorporates noises like wind chimes and owl hoots to its soulful synthpop production for a unique flavor. Rogers delivers on the vocal end with a stunning performance reminiscent of blue-eyed soul greats like Daryl Hall.

It’s a bummer that mainstream indie pop nowadays is going to mostly sound like Jeep ads. But “Dog Years” proves great art can still be created in that avenue.

#70: “The House That Heaven Built” by Japandroids (2012)

With “The House That Heaven Built,” Vancouver, BC indie rockers Japandroids made a perfect road trip anthem. The chugging guitars shoot to the sky, the drumming is furious, and the fist-pumping “OH OH OHs” are plentiful.

“House” is like a Bruce Springsteen collaboration with The Replacements: righteous fury backed by raucous, bar-friendly punk-rock. When lead singer/guitarist Brian King informs the listener that if “Anything try to slow you down/Tell em all to go to hell,” it’s something anyone can feel in their bones.

#69: “Adorn” by Miguel (2012)

“Adorn” is dangerously smooth. The chillwave-meets-80s-R&B production gets you halfway there, but Miguel’s buttery vocals are the main attraction here. From his endearing ad-libs (“whoap!”) to his effortless vocal runs on the gorgeous melody, he sounds like a seasoned pro.

I’m going to give y’all a hot take — “Adorn” is the Millennial “Sexual Healing.” It strikes that same nocturnal, sexy flair, and Miguel is working it just as hard as Marvin Gaye did. It’s too bad Miguel never was quite able to make something quite as impressive as “Adorn” again, but that single (and its accompanying, phenomenal Kaleidoscope Dream record) will cement him as a ‘10s R&B icon.

#68: “The World’s Best American Band” by White Reaper (2017)

White Reaper never claimed to be the world’s best band. Nope — they want to be the world’s best American band. So it’s only fitting that Louisville’s finest dirtbags cooked up a warm slice of some of the greasiest, sleaziest and most proudly stupid capital-R RAWK in years.

This is the kind of music Van Halen would’ve made if they were a low-rent Millennial indie band. This is the kind of music Gardner Minshew probably listens to. And it’s glorious.

#67: “I Just Had Sex” by The Lonely Island feat. Akon (2010)

This list isn’t really trying to measure importance or anything like that. It’s basically just the songs that made me the happiest this decade. And there are few songs that make me smile as much as The Lonely Island’s pathetically hilarious “I Just Had Sex.”

There’s so many golden moments here, from “I called my parents right after I was done!” to “The best 30 seconds of my life!” and “I think she might have been a racist?” The comedy trio was really on their A-game.

But what makes “I Just Had Sex” more than just a goof is that it’s also catchy as hell. That Akon chorus is legitimately one of the best pop hooks of the decade. What made The Lonely Island so brilliant in their turn-of-the-decade peak is their ability to make songs that often surpassed the actual pop hits they emulated, while not sacrificing hilarious lyrics.

(Also, shoutout to “Jack Sparrow” and the legitimately impressive baseball-themed “Let’s Bash,” both of which could’ve also snuck onto this list.)

#66: “Oh My Darling Don’t Cry” by Run The Jewels (2014)

Sometimes, you turn to hip-hop for inspiring messages and thoughtful, provocative lyrics (something Run The Jewels has certainly delivered on with tracks like “Early”).

But sometimes you just want an aggro banger that makes you want to smash through a brick wall like the Kool-Aid Man. That’s what “Oh My Darling Don’t Cry” brings to the table, thanks to its heavy helping of fuck-everyone defiance and El-P’s trademark apocalyptic, frantic production.

#65: “Your Best American Girl” by Mitski (2016)

In her signature song, “Your Best American Girl,” Mitski took the thrashing ‘90s guitars and epic chorus of Smashing Pumpkins’ “Today” and turned it into a conversation about race, insecurity and love.

Mitski, who is Japanese-American, vividly describes the angst of trying to fit the lily-white image of the “American Girl” for a boy. The song begins with insecurity — “Your mother wouldn’t approve of how my mother raised me/But I do, I think I do” — and then flips that statement into a proud stand for her roots: “But I do, I finally do.” It’s a powerful declaration, fitting of one of the decade’s most powerful rock anthems.

#64: “A Real Hero” by College and Electric Youth (2010)

Consider this spot a placeholder for all the best songs from the 2010′s best soundtrack: “Drive.”

Out of that soundtrack’s three stand-out singles, “A Real Hero” is the best by a hair. College’s slick, pulsing production is a perfect contrast to Bronwyn Griffin’s whispered, ghostly vocals. It’s the perfect love theme for an aggressively hipster-y movie where Ryan Gosling plays a dude in a gold satin jacket, drives around L.A. silently, and crushes a guy’s head in an elevator.

But shout out to the other two classics on Drive, “Nightcall” and “Under Your Spell,” which are also musts while driving around at night feeling moody.

#63: “Birthday Song” by 2 Chainz feat. Kanye West (2012)

“Birthday Song” is gloriously stupid. It’s the kind of song you laugh at the first time you hear it, but after a few more listens, you’re rapping along with 2 Chainz and Kanye.

And it’s hard not to rap along when there’s this many quotable lines: “SHE GOT A BIG BOOTY SO I CALL HER BIG BOOTY.” “I’M IN THE KITCHEN. YAMS EVERYWHERE!!” “Last birthday, she got you a new sweater/Put it on, give her a kiss, and tell her, ‘DO BETTER.’” And of course, the most iconic line of them all: “All I want for my birthday is a big booty hoe.”

“Birthday Song” is so ridiculous that it’s only a couple jokes removed from a Lonely Island single. And that’s what makes it so fun.

#62: “Every Day’s the Weekend” by Alex Lahey (2017)

Aussie indie rocker Alex Lahey made the best Blink-182 song of the decade with “Every Day’s the Weekend.” It’s got a soaring chorus with the all-important “WHOA OHs,” a chugging guitar riff, and it’s catchy as hell.

Just toss in a lackadaisical attitude and a “I Gotta Feeling”-style days-of-the-week chant and you’ve got a pop-punk classic.

#61: “Take a Walk” by Passion Pit (2012)

While MGMT burned their cultural capital by making zoinked-out psych rock (which was pretty solid!), their peers Passion Pit doubled down on their signature synthpop sound in the early ‘10s. Their 2012 album, Gossamer, is one of the all-time great albums with a happy, bouncy sound but crushingly dark lyrics. So naturally, its first single is a perky pop tune about financial struggles!

“Take a Walk” is so catchy and uplifting musically — just try getting that iconic synth riff out of your head — that Michael Angelakos’ lyrics about the Great Recession seem out of place at first. But it gels anyways. The uplifting music just emphasizes the dire situation Angelakos and his then-wife found themselves in, and it makes the soaring synth riff read as more melancholy than optimistic.

#60: “Gretel” by (Sandy) Alex G (2019)

"Gretel” is like an indie-folk song that went to the Upside Down. All the requisite parts are there — gently strummed guitar, lyrics with a man-of-the-people feel, humbly Middle American vocals — but it feels warped and twisted.

The easiest way to describe it is like if a typical folk-pop song CD was left in the sun for a solid week or so, allowing it to melt. And then you tried listening to it. It would sound positively spooky. Yet through the oddball production and eerie vibe, Alex G’s defiant chorus still shines through. A statement like “Good people gotta fight to exist” somehow sounds more powerful in a bizzaro song like this.

#59: “Downtown” by Macklemore & Ryan Lewis feat. Eric Nally, Grandmaster Kaz, Melle Mel and Kool Moe Dee (2015)

Macklemore might have been the 2010′s most unfairly hated artist. Yes, he’s corny. Yes, Kendrick should’ve won those Grammys instead. But the dude was fun, inventive and a unique voice in hip-hop at the time.

“Downtown” is a prime example of Mack’s talent. Or at least, his knack for assembling a fantastic supporting crew. Old-school rappers Grandmaster Kaz, Melle Mel and Kool Moe Dee deliver some forceful interludes, and Eric Nally and his wildman vocals give “Downtown” a killer, Queen-esque chorus. And of course, producer Ryan Lewis helps sell the song, with a constantly-switching beat that ranges from ‘70s funk to bombastic arena rock. Even Seattle legend Ken Griffey Jr. makes a cameo in the Spokane-filmed video!

In a late-’10s hip-hop scene filled with mopey sad white boys like Post Malone and NF, Macklemore’s goofy vibe and dad jokes are sorely missed.

#58: “Flesh Without Blood” by Grimes (2015)

In a decade filled with wonderful alt-pop weirdos, Grimes might have been the weirdest. One of her standout songs, “Kill v. Maim,” is about Michael Corleone from The Godfather Pt. II, but if he was a time-traveling, gender-switching vampire (yes, really).

“Flesh Without Blood” is comparatively normcore, but it’s still Grimes’ best slice of bonkers pop magic. Written from the perspective of a fan angry that she sold out, the track rides a surf-rock guitar groove into the oblivion. Grimes’ squeaky vocals are almost taunting in tone, but the hooks are so massive and the production is so fresh that I doubt listeners mind.

#57: “Slide” by Calvin Harris feat. Frank Ocean and Migos (2017)

Arguably the biggest name in cheeseball EDM took a shockingly sharp pivot into silky-smooth funk with “Slide.” And it worked! It worked weirdly well!

Of course, it helps that Calvin Harris has always had impeccable taste in guest vocalists, from Florence Welch to Haim. And by snagging once-in-a-generation talent Frank Ocean (and the fun, if not legendary, Migos) for “Slide,” he possibly pulled his greatest coup yet.

...well actually, no. His best song will always be the gloriously trashy and very British “Dance Wiv Me” with grime legend Dizzee Rascal. But the slick tropical grooves of “Slide” are a worthy contender.

#56: “I Belong in Your Arms” by Chairlift (2012)

I could’ve sworn this was in an old John Hughes movie. The wintry synths and retro-chic vibe of “I Belong in Your Arms” certainly would’ve fit snugly into the Pretty In Pink soundtrack, but no — Chairlift’s best single came out this decade.

“I Belong in Your Arms” is stunning in its atmospheric beauty. Singer Caroline Polachek’s vocals are almost Elizabeth Fraser-esque, drifting over the waves of keyboards while still packing a heavy punch on the chorus. And the song’s burst of energy doesn’t feel like a temporary sugar rush — it feels like the real thing.

#55: “Make Me Feel” by Janelle Monaé (2018)

“Make Me Feel” is unabashedly a Prince homage. And if anyone in modern music could successfully replicate the Purple One, it’s Janelle Monaé.

The genre-blurring, impossibly funky “Make Me Feel” immediately grabbed me upon release, with its sharp guitar edges, soft-loud-soft production and sticky hook. But Monaé’s vocal performance is what truly makes the track pop. She clearly had the time of her life here, switching on a dime from smooth and sultry to giddy yelps. If there’s a perfect Janelle Monaé song cooked up in a lab somewhere, it’s probably nearly identical to this.

#54: “Some Nights” by fun. (2012)

Jack Antonoff has always excelled as the second-fiddle. Whether that’s in being the less-famous person in his former relationship with Lena Dunham or being the behind-the-scenes production wizard for megastars like Taylor Swift and Lorde, he works best in the shadows (despite his solo side band, Bleachers, being pretty damn good).

And of course, the project that first brought Antonoff into the mainstream was his band fun., in which he was the lead guitarist and a songwriter. At the time when the band hit their brief apex in 2012, it seemed like frontman Nate Ruess, with his vocal acrobatics and theatrical style, would be most primed for solo fame, but that fizzled.

Eight years later, “Some Nights” stands as a testament that Antonoff (and the other two guys in fun.) can write an incredible arena rock anthem just as easily as a synthpop banger. The song turns a quarter-life crisis into a soaring epic that sounds like a glorious U2-Queen hybrid, with a drumline added on top. Despite cribbing its chorus from Simon and Garfunkel, “Some Nights” still holds its power.

#53: “The Less I Know The Better” by Tame Impala (2015)

There’s one thing that instantly hooks you into Tame Impala’s Instagram-filtered indie pop masterpiece: that bassline. It carries the whole song on its back.

Not to say the rest of “The Less I Know The Better” isn’t good — Kevin Parker’s jealousy-tinged lyrics are fairly relatable, the twinkling synths are nice, the melody is appropriately yearning. But that slap bass ropes all those elements together into a legitimately funky rock tune. If Tame Impala’s mediocre new singles had that bass, maybe they’d be less forgettable.

#52: “Shake It Out” by Florence + The Machine (2011)

Florence Welch might be the decade’s most underrated vocalist. Her voice has the power of a Mack truck, yet she can still convey subtlety when needed.

“Shake It Out” is not one of those subtle moments. It is arena-pop filtered through gospel; a song that sounds like it was meant for a cathedral. Welch describes battling her personal demons like they were literal demons. Couple her wailing with layers upon layers of organs and massive drums imported from the “In The Air Tonight” solo, and you’ve got a song too big to fail.

#51: “Young Blood” by The Naked and Famous (2010)

I really, really wanted to include more tunes from the golden era of radio-friendly indie pop, circa 2008-2012. But a lot of the best stuff — MGMT, Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Phoenix — fell in the previous decade. And others are more nostalgic faves for me than actually great songs (sorry, Grouplove and Matt & Kim).

But The Naked and Famous absolutely still hold up. “Young Blood” still has the insanely high-pitched vocals and twinkly synths of that era, but the New Zealanders throw some distorted ‘90s guitars to create a unique sound. It’s like the Weezer writing a Passion Pit song (but way better than that would imply). Lead singer Alisa Xayalith’s piercing voice is an instrument all of its own, soaring across the synthesizers and guitars like a bolt of neon light.

“Young Blood” might be an early ‘10s time-capsule, but it has hooks for days and a somehow-still-fresh groove.

[hermanwatts]

Sensor Sweep: Pulp on Pulp, Sabatini, Jirel, Weird Westerns

New Project (Misha Burnett): A reminder that the collection of essays that Cheah Kit Sun and I are putting together is open for submissions. I don’t know that Pulp On Pulp will be its title when it comes time to publish it–I just needed to call it something. I am looking for essays from writers, editors, reviewers, and readers of fiction on the subject of what makes fiction fun. The emphasis should be on practical considerations–do this, don’t do that.

Writing (Amatopia): I recently put up a huge blog roll of sites I read and authors I want to spread the word about. Problem is, lots of them didn’t have websites or blogs to link to! Sure, there are alternatives. For example, I linked to many Amazon pages, either for the author or a particular book. But an actual web presence can make an author seem more official, and in the indie world, this is very important.

Review (DVS Press): Brian Niemeier’s new book is out now, and it’s a number one best seller. Let’s address one 100 IQ level comeback I see frequently when talking about shutting your wallet to the mega-corporations who not only don’t give a shit about the franchises that you grew up with, but actively hate you and your culture and want it (and you) dead: bUt yOu Use AMaZon/yOuTUbE /fAcEbOok/PAtreON.

Popular Culture (Wasteland & Sky): As you can see from the photos in this post, normal people were all over the arcades at its peak in the late ’80s to early ’90s. I know, because I was there. When the most creative and successful games from Double Dragon and Final Fight, to Mortal Kombat and Street Fighter, to Time Crisis and Dance Dance Revolution, were around, arcades thrived. By the end of the ’90s, the crowds got smaller as the games were shifting to home consoles. Normal people left, and developers abandoned the subculture.

Fiction (DMR Books): When I wrote my first post about Rafael Sabatini and his swashbuckling fiction, the concept for a series about the “Forefathers of Sword and Sorcery” here on the DMR Blog was still merely a glimmer in my eye. As with Arthur Machen, it’s high time Sabatini received his own entry. In this post, I try not to retread too much ground. For a more complete picture of the man and his work, I recommend that you check out “Rafael Sabatini: King of the Swashbucklers”.

Westerns (Brain Leakage): it’s not hard to see the appeal of stories about rugged loners living by their own rules. Nor is it difficult to see the appeal of books and movies that dwell on the majestic beauty of wide open spaces. Above all, Westerns are stories about personal freedom. After so many weeks being told where we can and can’t go, how close we can and can’t get to people, and what businesses we are and aren’t allowed to patronize anymore, who can blame viewers for looking to John Wayne, Clint Eastwood, and Yul Brenner for a little cathartic release?

Weird Western (Marzaat): There are new additions to the Weird Western subgenre all the time in games, fiction, comics, and movies. I’ve been interested in it for decades, starting with old Twilight Zone comic books and the Clint Eastwood movies High Plains Drifter and Pale Rider. The trouble is that, while I haven’t looked at every single example of the subgenre, I have sampled quite a few and most have been disappointing. For me, that disappointment comes in three areas.

Art (Broadway World): The Frank Frazetta The Serpent (aka “Aros”) Paperback Novel Cover Painting Original Art (Paperback Library, 1967) and Bernie Wrightson Mary Wollstonecraft Shelley’s Frankenstein Front Endpapers Illustration Original Art (late 1970s) sparked furious bidding to lead Heritage Auctions’ Comics & Comics Art Auction to $9,099,710 in total sales April 30-May 3. So strong was the demand that the Dallas-based auction raced past its pre-auction estimate of just over $7.3 million and boasted sell-through rates of 100% by lots and value.

D&D (Jeffro’s Space Gaming Blog): Magic is way more interesting. Tons of off the wall spells get used. Having to find magic the AD&D way creates one of the best incentives to adventure ever made. Success here– finding even two or three new first level spells– can fundamentally change the nature of the game and the balance of power between the first level classes. Exciting! With three big books of monsters instead of a “pure” edited down list of archetypes, the players run into something they’ve never seen before almost every session.

Art (Mens Pulp Mags): David is, among other things, an aficionado of men’s adventure magazines (MAMs). So, he knows that Eva is the most widely-recognized female artist’s model in the MAM genre, in addition to being a popular pinup photo model featured in various types of men’s magazines from the mid-1950s to the 1970s. He also knows that Steve Holland is the most famous male model in the realms of both MAMs and paperback covers. Holland is particularly well known for being the model artist James Bama used for Doc Savage, in the cover art Bama did for the Bantam paperback series.

Sword-and-Sorcery (Legends of Men): What makes this story bad is first and foremost the prose. Phrases are repeated in ways that only seem like that of an amateur author. In the opening scene, Jirel storms a castle and impatiently calls for Giraud’s head. Twice more we are told how impatient she is. This sort of repetition is rampant. More importantly, C.L. Moore does not follow the best practice of “show, don’t tell.” Rather than showing us that Jirel is brave Moore just writes “she was not afraid.” This frequent and another example of how the author comes off as an amateur.

Video Games (That Matt Kid): Conan has had quite the bumpy ride in his transition to the video game world. Let’s revisit some of the earliest titles in the barbarian’s gaming adventures.

Pulp Magazines (Don Herron): ere’s a shot of Kong emerging from an alley next to a news agent shop. More mags. The big model allowed panoramic shots and flyovers, but the level of detail extended to street scenes as well. Those shots are rich in every way. Relevant to our interests, there are numerous shots of newsstands, featuring a variety of magazines, including pulps.

Streaming T.V. (Running Iron Report): The world was living for real in the shadow of the fictional prophecy that forms the bedrock of Showtime’s new horror tale, Penny Dreadful: City of Angels: City of Angels is built around the seething racial tensions that simmered just below the golden surface of Los Angeles through most of its history. The planned Arroyo Seco Motorway (eventually the 110 Freeway running from Pasadena to downtown Los Angeles) will displace a Mexican-American neighborhood, just as the construction of Dodger Stadium would clean out Chavez Ravine two decades later. Nazis are infiltrating the film studios and the aircraft manufacturing plants.

Review (Paperback Warrior): After the pulp magazines disappeared, they were largely replaced by a more gritty and realistic magazine genre collectively known as Men’s Adventure Magazines (MAMs). These glossy, color publications featured stories and artwork by the same people servicing the men’s paperback original market in the 1950s and 1960s. Magazines like Adventure and Real Men were filled with colorful illustrations and stories designed to appeal to working class men returning home from the wars of the Mid-20th Century.

Fiction (DMR Books): Gustave Flaubert died on this date in 1880. While most famous for his novel, Madame Bovary, and dubbed “The Father of French Literary Realism”, Gustave nonetheless had a strong influence on the early formation of sword-and-sorcery. Salammbo–published in 1862–is loosely based upon the events following the First Punic War. The Carthaginians had lost their war with Rome and then decided to stiff the mercenaries who had fought for them. Predictably, mayhem and atrocities ensued during what has been dubbed the “Mercenary War”.

Fiction (Dark Worlds Quarterly): Fire Hunter (1951) by Jim Kjelgaard follows Hawk, chief weapon-maker for his tribe, as he makes innovation after innovation and leads his tribe to survive sabertooth tigers, rival tribesmen and grass fires. It was illustrated by Ralph Ray. Kjelgaard, who is best known for his Big Red dog books, serves up a fascinating tale of cavemen and invention that is plausible for the time but filled with action and adventure too. He attempts Burroughsian fantasy but strives for plausibility in a way that Jean Auel will make best-sellers of in thirty years. The film 10,000 BC should have used this story.

Gaming (Pelgrane Press): There’s value in seeing how a hero you know translates into Swords of the Serpentine, especially when that hero changes over time. SotS lets you play fledgling (less experienced) and sovereign (exceptionally experienced) versions of the same character, jumping back and forth in time between adventures in the same way a collection of fantasy short stories might jump between different eras of the same hero’s life.

Sensor Sweep: Pulp on Pulp, Sabatini, Jirel, Weird Westerns published first on https://sixchexus.weebly.com/

[survivormarmoreal]

Episode #10: “He wanted to have this ginormous dick energy" - Brian

Well losing Keaton wasn't in the plan. He was one of my closest allies. I may have screwed things up with Brian. Maybe if I can come up with a lie good enough, we could believe me. Sharky knows that I liked Keaton so maybe theres still trust there. Hopefully. Im still working with Nathan but hopefully he still wants to work with me even though Keaton is gone. I know for sure that I have Bryce. At least that's one ally but who knows.

OKAY OKAY OKAY. Thank fucking GOD. Everything worked out. All the other votes were for Matt so there is no question who is a liar. Because everyone is a liar. But it doesn't matter because our plan worked. Matt is still here. I'm still here. AND KEATON IS NOT!!! Now of course everybody is scrambling to apologize to me. Nick is like oh it was so last minute. Maynor is like "i liked you both so it would keep you both". Nathan is spewing some nonsense. Bryce honestly kind of owned up and laughed it off which tbh i respect. And of course my girl Anna checked in and I told her we are golden. Because we are. Anna was 100% up front with me about this plan so I trust her A LOT now. I told her Brian and I didn't tell Matt about the plan, which is a lie, but it's the smart thing to tell her because it keeps her from being put in another tough position. And I never told Matt Anna was the leak. So Anna should be safe from any fallout after this vote. Nothing to do now but move forward and hopefully Matt or I win immunity and the FB Bois can carry on.

Update: I'm sure as hell not winning immunity because I only got 3 out of 25. Embarrassing. Physical threat who?

Bryce is my final 2.  There, I've said it.  I'm 100% solid on this man as my fellow finalist!  I really hope that we are able to navigate our way to finals together... like, we have our plans, we spilled all the tea... basically Nick and Maynor just continuously lied to me, and like... idk... I feel like Bryce could be lying, but I just feel too good about this connection that I think it's a real final deal.

So fuck me with a spoon and call me Sally because I finally feel amazing about an ally to the end.

Also, we have our "potential vote order."

8. Nick - A goat that could just be brought to the end.  He's not too bad, but he's also someone who could easily replace me in the Sharky-Matt-me trio. 7. Annabelle - Break her duo with Nathan up while also breaking her trust circle with Sharky.  I think it would be ideal for me to take her out now. 6. Sharky - He's the biggest threat and you can't keep the biggest threat around for too long, no matter how much you trust them.

Top 5: Me, Bryce, Nathan, Matt, and Maynor.  This isn't the cutest final 5 ever, but I feel like this sets me and Bryce up for the best final 2.

5. Biggest challenge threat, whoever that may be. 4. Biggest challenge threat now (if it's final 2).  If it's final 3, then biggest jury threat. 3. Final loser (if it's final 2).

1+2. Me and Bryce.  Kings.

omg so brian is my f2 now and thats so iconic... so we think the boot order is gonna be like nick anna sharky and then reevaluate for comp threats.... like so i didnt want to vote matt bc i didnt want to lie to brian bc i really wanted to work with him but nathan convinced me to anyway esp bc we knew anna voted matt already and then GHOSTED. but then matt played idol so someone (maybe nick) prob told him/sharky about the plan... sketchy anyway it worked out bc i hate keaton and am happy hes gone. so when tribal ended i noticed sharky brian matt werent leaving call and they were all the minority voters... well majority bc of the idol... so i went into damage control. it was so iconic bc i didnt even pm sharky or matt just brian bc i really only felt bad about lying to him bc i wanted to work with him so much and matt doesnt respond that much and well sharky maybe i was a lil bad feeling about lying but w/e. i just joked around with them didnt hide anything and was my usual charming self... so i was honest with them about what happened bc i realized like i dont want to work with ppl who lie to me. i forgot if i mentioned this but like keaton and nick refused to tell me they were voting matt even tho we were all supposed to be in on it. and while everyone else was lying about why they voted or when the plan was formed i decided to be forth right. idk if thatll come back to haunt me but hope not NNNN. i was on that call for 7 hours. thats dedication NFJAJDFSHKAJS although they were all iconic and fun to talk to anyway so wasnt that hard but i sleep at midnight the latest usually and it was 2am. but w/e i pushed through bc tiredness is passing but positioning myself properly is NECESSARY. once it was just brian and i we shared everything or at least i did KJFASDKJFA he kept being a lil shady but i think it was fair bc i did just lie to him. i told him about nathans vote spy and the og absolem (minus nick) alliance and all the stuff ppl were saying and he told me about how he knew of matts idol bc he himself had a vote steal and they traded info. so loved that tbh!!! like if we have to use it this round itll set us up good it think, plan is to take out nick bc he can be goated to the end and flipped to and we dont want that. then anna bc shes good at comps and wanna split nathan/anna up. then hopefully work with maynor/nathan/(maybe matt) to vote out sharky bc if he gets to the end he'd win we feel like. after that we gotta see who we can beat in comps so we can beast our way to the f2. we think its f2 bc how days line up but like im bad at math so KFJASDHFJSD. anyways me and brian are like the michele and cydney that make it to the end so get ready for that. sorry nathan, thank you next!

I dont know if i said it last confessional but losing Keaton at the moment was really bad. He trusted me and was working with me. But now it looks like Matt want to start a little alliance. Sharky wasnt bad, was just happy it wasnt him, and Brian not mad but upset. I think i literally may be working with everyone left. Scream team with Sharky. OG Dinah with Brian. Shatter but still together me nathan annabelle and bryce. My rams alliance with bryce. And nick talks to me but is only one who hasnt said we should work together.

So we out here still! I am really happy that the idol play worked and it seems to have shaken the 5 who voted against myself, brian and sharky a lot. they are all seemingly panicking and its quite amusing to watch ngl. However, I am pretty sure I can capitalise on this to my own advantage, to swing the numbers my way or at least to take myself to like 5th (which for me is always a good placing). I am sure as hell not done playing yet so woo lets go bitches!

worried brian is closer to matt than me... annabelle once again ignoring. i dont know how to have a convo with matt like on call sure easy love it on discord? not happening. nick... maynor seems off today but we still chatted for a while... maybe im over? whomst knows! love ain

These questions were all out of left field like wow. I didn't even get to read all the questions. I randomly looked at a question and picked a number. I actually knew more of them than the ones I picked. I only got one right and that was Mickey Mouse and I don't even like him that much. Lets hope people are thrown off by these questions and panic like I did.

So Nathan has come and apologized. I really do believe his plan, although it was super selfish, was to get our group of 4 further. So I'm not mad. But the thing is that more so than Nathan lying it showed that he has real POWER in this game. He was able to get a 6 person majority to do what he wanted and convinced them all to lie to me and Brian. So he won't be my next target because he has my back but I don't have his anymore so he better watch out. Nathan is the biggest threat left in this game.

Okay so it's seems all is at peace. Anna had been worried that Nathan would come after me but it seems that passed. And The Jock Destroyers Alliance actually seems to be on the same page for once. Nick is just seeming like an unknown to all of us and we want to cut down on unknowns this late in the game. None of us can guarantee Nick is with us and that is worrisome. So as much as I've tried to work with Nick these past few weeks it might be time to cut my goat loose and move on with a new flock. I guess we'll find out.

I WON IMMUNITY!!! My wig is flown... now I can be more ballsy over the next 24 hours.  I want Nick gone.  For Nathan and Sharky to think that they're the ones doing this, though, is so annoying because I was literally the one to open this can of worms.  In addition, the reason I want Nick gone is because I want him out of Sharky's ass.  I don't need the two of them to be besties anymore!  I know Sharky is OK with voting him out, but I know Nick thinks him and Sharky are like besties so...

I think that 5 that voted Matt last round were thrown into a tizzy when Keaton went, and so I'm just out here like... lemme revel in the chaos!  Maynor and Nathan both were so anxious for my reaction... Nick went explaining to me right away what happened... ugh!!  My mind is so big... Sending Nick home this round will be one step closer to fulfilling my top 2 fantasy with Bryce.  I love it so much.  I really hope all goes to plan, but I am immune so I can't really be too worried since I'll still be here after 24 hours lmfao!!

I would love to be the hero by the end of this season, but I already see my villain arc coming up, and I'm left sitting here like... well, it was bound to happen.  The second I turn on Sharky is the second I hit that arc, and it's a plan that's coming sooner rather than later!!

i feel like... im going home its so quiet like brian won immunity and pushed on nick so like he should go but its just so quiet hm.

Well. It looks like it might be me. 🤷‍♂️ No one hs been talking to me so I guess its may be my last day!?

So the vote is either between Me or Nick tonight. And i dont like that. Going to see if I can get Nick and atleast 2 other votes to atleast make it a tie. The only other option right now is to take out Sharky. Im looking to try and get Bryce, Nick, and hopefully Nathan. Brian is safe. That leaves Matt, Annabelle, and Sharky. So like 🤷‍♂️ Imma go out fighting if its me.

So like, this tribal is really quite quiet, but seems to have a clear target in  Nick. SOmething of which i will HAPPILY take for myself, as I am just fed up of getting voted atm lmao. Like yes please just give me 1 round of respite then you may come for me again cause I will be ready. I feel close to Maynor and Nathan, mainly cause I have worked on them over the past few days so i feel good about myself and where i stand. will I win? probably not. Am i ok with that? no but if I have to settle I will

Okay for once it seems like there isn't much scrambling. I could be completely wrong and I'll get sent packing but who knows. It should be a quick and easy vote for Nick.

I jinxed it. The moment I said it should be easy NICK GOES OFF IN THE TRIBE CHAT. Trying to basically threaten all of us with the idea that he may have another idol. THEN BRIAN CALLS HIM OUT. And he puts Nick on blast for leaking the Matt plan to us. Which he did do. BUT Anna is actually the one who told us. So Nick either actually has an advantage and will save himself (in which case I don't think I'm his target) or his whole game just BLEW UP. It's messy messy messy.

Well Nick just ruined all the possibilities ih trying to save him. Nathan doesnt seem like we could get the votes so that also gets rid of Annabelle because they are very tight. So my vote is gunna be Nick but just watch its actually me. 🤷‍♂️  I would die but nothing i can really do know.

maybe im boo boo the fool??? theres been iconic fights and stuff and now nick is gonna vote me which is rude but he says hes voting maynor but i doubt that bc maynor tried to save him earlier this round so idk whats happening ppl are saying like dont worry he doesnt have the votes but what if he idols or what if ppl flip or like i dont want any vote against me in the first place. all these ppl so stable bc they arent the ones getting voted. the AUDACITY nick has when ive put up with his bland unanswering self for all these weeks to vote me on his way out??? no ty!!! maynor is like the most NNN idk he just has the worst pokerface i went with his annoying save keaton plan last week and im pretty sure he is going to vote me now too like... maybe dont do that what happen to the stupid :rams: :rams: aries thing we had going... make it add up!

Looks like I’m going home... the only chance I have at staying is if bryce gets out but I’m worried that’s not going to happen... I guess we will see wha happens in a few hours…

AHH!!  So I got into a fight with Nick earlier.  He wanted to have this ginormous dick energy in the main chat about powers he has and how he KNOWS who mentioned his name... girl, you know NOTHING!  He still thinks I've voted for him twice, and highkey if I had read my PMs about the idol before 7:45pm, then I would've voted for him exactly Z E R O times.  So fucking ugly...

So yea, I fought him.  And I'd say I won.  I just hope everyone sends his ass home.  Bryce and Nathan are updating me on, like, everything, and we have Maynor who just is beyond sketchy with his PMs.... I really just... WHEW.... I hope Nick's straight ass goes home and it isn't Bryce.

This tribal is going to be one big fat mess... but like i’m ready for it

I dont really want to do Nick tonight but its the best thing for now not to rock the boat. Im just hoping that everyone isnt lying and its some how me tonight. 🤷‍♂️ Just need to trust people who are saying they are doing Nick. But having a weird feeling and hopefully its a false alarm.

Tbh Brian not voting makes me feel sketch about tonight. It may be nothing and just me being worried that my name was thrown out. He said he was going to sleep early but he could have voted early for Nick so like. 🤷‍♂️ Paranoid and im going to die.

Nick is voted out 5-1-1.

[dailyaudiobible]

12/10/2018 DAB Transcript

Amos 1:1-3:15, Revelation 2:1-17, Psalms 129:1-8, Proverbs 29:19-20

Today is the 10th day of December. Welcome to the Daily Audio Bible. I'm Brian. It’s great to be here with you today as we dive into our work week and just keep taking these steps forward. Yesterday we began books in the old and New Testament. So, the book of Joel and the book of Revelation, which happens to be the final book of the Bible and, obviously, the final book of the New Testament. So, we talked about both of those as we got going and obviously we’ll be spending the rest of our time in the New Testament in the book of Revelation. But we read Joel all the way through yesterday, which brings us to another book of minor prophecy in the Old Testament, the book of Amos.

Introduction to the Book of Amos:

Interestingly enough, Amos is probably the earliest collection of written prophetic utterances found in all of the Bible. Amos prophesied in the mid eighth century BC at a time when the northern and the southern kingdoms were both intact, like neither one of them had been attacked and carried into exile and they were experiencing widespread peace and prosperity. And ironically, Amos wasn't a person trained for religious orders. Like, he wasn't a priest or scribe or anything like that. It seems like…it seems he was an ordinary person, living the ordinary life of a shepherd and farmer. What’s not known is whether he was like a common laborer, like he just cared for someone else's sheep or something like or   whether he actually own flocks and groves but it's certain that he was educated and it’s certain that he was aware of the times, aware of his culture, aware of what was happening in the world. Amos lived in a city called Toccoa, which is about 10 miles south of Jerusalem, placing his home in the southern kingdom of Judah but oddly his mission was to prophesy in the northern kingdom of Israel. And that was probably just across the border in Bethel because Bethel was the border and there was a golden calf set up in Bethel and profits were sent into Bethel to prophesy against it. So, that's not too far of a stretch. He probably went into the northern kingdom prophesying in Bethel because it was a hub for idol worship and commerce. As we just talked about, the northern and southern kingdoms were experiencing a kind of peace and prosperity that they hadn't seen since the days of Solomon. So, I mean, it could seem odd that God would send an ordinary person to deliver such a severe message of impending judgment. In such a time of peace and prosperity it would have been undoubtedly a difficult message to deliver but this is what Amos was instructed to do. And, so, peace and prosperity had open the door for corruption which was running rampant and the poor were being misused out, marginalized, and oppressed, and greed ruled the hearts of the nation's leaders. So, Amos comes along at with a word from the Lord that effectively communicated that praying upon the less fortunate was at absolutely unacceptable, which makes social justice a major theme in the book of Amos. And it would seem like after these many thousands of years, like we would understand the cycle, but it seems like we’re still grappling with the same kinds of issues. Amos vividly reveals that we’re nowhere near as powerful as we think we are and God is a much more powerful than we could possibly even understand. And we have no right to mistreat or misuse any of his creation whether that be a people created in His image or the world that He created for the people He created in His image to live on because, as Amos reveals, the world belongs to God and He is indeed sovereign over it all, including all people and all things. So, as we read the book of Amos, let's consider our own path and choose to humble ourselves under the mighty hand of God. So, reading from the New International Version this week. Amos chapter 1 verse 1 through 3 verse 15 today.

Prayer:

Father, we thank You for Your word. It's a common prayer in our community to thank You for Your word because the community is centered around Your word and centered around the rhythm of being in Your word. And, so, we love Your word and we thank You for Your word and we thank You for the way that it transforms us from within even when we don't know it. It is just in our lives, in our hearts, and our minds continually speaking truth. And when truth is spoken over and over and over it has a cumulative effect and we thank You for that because You are changing us and ridding us of what is false within us, so that all that remains is true. All that can shake will shake and what remains will be unshakable and will be true. Come, Holy Spirit into what we’ve read today and into all that we will read and consider and meditate upon this week. We love You Lord and thank You for Your guidance, the guidance of Your Holy Spirit, the guidance of the Scriptures. We love You Jesus. We pray these things in Your name. Amen. 

 Announcements:

dailyaudibible.com is the website, its home base, its where you find out what's going on around here.

And what's going on around here is it's time to get ready for our annual family Christmas party and that's just a beautiful tradition that we've had for many many years where we’ll read the Christmas story and Jill and I will kind of talk about…just look back at the year and look forward together and then we hear from each other, our holiday wishes, our Christmas wishes from all over the world. And, so, it's your time to participate and every year…every year after…as we’re putting it together…there’s people still calling in. Don't wait. Just go ahead and call in and say whatever it is that you want to say to wish your Daily Audio Bible family a Merry Christmas. The number that you can use is the prayer line number and there's only really one rule for the most part and that is, don't call in a prayer request and a Christmas greeting in the same call or neither one of those things will get to where they need to go. So, if you have a prayer request, certainly call that in. If you want to call a Merry Christmas call in, then call that in separate. So, you can use any of the prayer lines. If you are in the Americas, 877-942-4253 is the number. If you are in the UK or Europe 44-20-3608-8078 is the number. If you are in Australia or the lands down under 61-3-8820-5459 is the number to dial. So, yeah, we’ll do that all this week and then we’ll start putting that together so we can enjoy a family Christmas party this year.

Also, the More Gathering for women, registration is open for that, and we’ve been talking about that for a week. And don't miss this opportunity for the end of an era up in the mountains of Georgia. This is gonna be fantastic and the enthusiasm…Jill and I were talking about this the other day because so many of you that haven't come before are coming…and so the enthusiasm around this…we’re just really looking forward to it. So, you can find out all the details for the More Gathering for women at moregathering.com or dailyaudiobible.com in the Initiatives section.

And then, of course, we still have some Daily Audio Bible family Christmas Boxes for 2018 available as well in the Daily Audio Bible Shop.

If you want to partner with the Daily Audio Bible, you can do that at dailyaudiobible.com. There is a link, it is on the homepage. If you're using the Daily Audio Bible app, you can press the Give button in the upper right-hand corner or, if you prefer, the mailing address is PO Box 1996 Spring Hill Tennessee 37174.

And, as always, if you have a prayer request or comment 877-942-4253 is the number to dial.

And that's it for today. I'm Brian I love you and I'll be waiting for you here tomorrow.

Community Prayer and Praise:

Hi this is Lisa in Capistrano Beach. Family I love you all and I just want to let everyone know that as I’m listening, and I hear your prayer requests I’m praying for you right then and there. I pray for you throughout the day in the beginning and at the end and I just ask that the Lord will bless you and that His will will be done in your lives. Today I heard Margaret May out of New York and Margaret your call just stopped me in my tracks. I was cooking, and I just stopped. Tears came to my eyes as I listened to your plea for prayer. And I want you to know that I am praying for you. I know you feel alone and that you don’t have any friends, but we will pray for you. I know that so many others will pray for you as well Margaret. And then I believe the young girls name…I’m gonna say is Jordan…but you’ll know who you are. Your sister left home, and your horse died, and you felt that we might think that’s trivial but some of us don’t. I can appreciate the love that you have for a companion animal that God gave us. And, so, my heart goes out to you and I’m praying for you as well. Dear family I pray for all of you even if I’m not mentioning you by name. I hear your requests and I’m praying and I love you all. Thank you, Brian and the rest of the Daily Audio Bible ministry. I just love these podcasts every day and I listen to you…it’s been 12 years. Love you all. Take care. God bless you, bye bye.

Margaret May you have been prayed for. What you have said is not unique to you. I have struggled with much of what you have said. Do not let Satan this deceive you further. You are a child of God most high. Ask the Father to fill you and cover you with the Holy Spirit. Say out loud, I am a child of God, what He says about me is true. And remember that God does not give us the Spirit of fear. That’s in Timothy 1 and 7 - greater is he that is in me. You are of God’s little children and have overcome. First John 4. Fear started in the garden and has been with us since. God tells us to fear not many times in the Bible. Seek God’s word and speak it aloud so your own ears can hear it and take it in. Show me God’s love.

Hi, my name is Julia I’m calling from Los Angeles. I���ve been listening since July of this year. I listen every day and I just…I love the family and I’m praying for every prayer request that comes in daily but I was really moved by one of the women that called in today. She called in from Syracuse New York and I’m sorry that I missed your name when you were calling about the spirit of fear and thoughtfulness and that you had been in the room. It just like you thought it was getting worse and I just wanted to call and pray for you. So, Lord I just come before You thanking You for today, thanking You for this community that we get to be so close together even though we’re physical so far apart. And Lord I just…I come before You interceding for this woman, this daughter of Yours Lord. I pray Holy Spirit that You would come in and that You would swallow up that loneliness, and that You would swallow up that fear, I come against every demonic attack of the enemy right now and I command You to stand down and stay down by the blood of Jesus. I pray the Lord You would loosen peace in her mind and in her heart Lord. I pray that You and give her the strength Lord to come out of that room and to seek help Lord. I pray Lord a Psalms 91 covering over her that You would give her refuge under the shadow of Your wings Lord, that You would cover her with Your feathers. I pray for a dispatching of angels right now Lord to be at every doorpost and at every window Lord, covering her Lord and protecting her so that they would lift her up in their hands tonight and __ her fall on a stone Lord. Father, You say that You are the King of glory, the Lord strong and mighty, the Lord mighty in battle. So, I pray that You would be her defender in this battle Lord, that the weapons that the enemy has used against us will not prevail. I pray the armor of Lord to be over her, the shield of faith, the sword of the Spirit, the breastplate of righteousness, the belt of truth, the sandals of…

Hello this is Carrie from China and now from Australia. Today’s 7th of December. I’ve been meaning to call in for quite a while with a praise report but that’s going to have to wait now because I was galvanized into action by a call from Margaret May from New York this morning. Margaret May, what a brave girl you are. You’ve being tormented with fears and yet you dialed in to call for help. I’m so proud of you. That was the very best thing you could do and now you have a worldwide prayer team behind you. In the name of Jesus, I command those tormenting spirits to cease their activity and come out of Margaret now. Loose her and set her free. I plead the blood of Jesus over you in the name of Jesus. Nothing but the blood of Jesus can wash away our sin and make us whole again. I command your digestive system to work normally and except food again in Jesus’ name. And now let the peace of God guard your heart and mind in Christ Jesus. Margaret May, if you are able fill your room with praise and worship all day, radio, tapes, whatever it takes. It will create an atmosphere that the demons will hate and finally, know that I am praying for you along with all your brothers and sisters from the DAB. Many blessings.