#but it's funnier to think about it happening like this

[gay-dorito-dust]

Just some big three pjo things I think about.

Percy -the little shit- would absolutely utilise his ability of water to mess with you.

100%

If you leave a water bottle unopened, expect Percy to surge what little water was left inside to spray you when you’re going in for a drink. Leaving you soaked and glaring at the boy across the camp.

He thinks he’s funny but he’s really not.

You can’t even try to do this back to him as it usually results in it being thrown back in your face, literally as you’re reminded that this dude can walk into waist deep water, and miraculously come back as dry as he was before entering.

So needless to say you keep your water bottles tightly shut when you’re near Percy in case he’s feeling funny that day or has that certain gleam in his eye.

Percy can’t be trusted near uncapped water bottles, it’s a rule to never leave Percy near them or be within sight of any un opened water bottles.

Percy is not allowed to participate in watergun fights…for very obvious reasons and even if he does, the bastard had to be prohibited from using his powers at all during the watergun fights!

Everyone else in camp will be soaked and he would be dry as fuck, everyone calls it cheating but Percy calls it otherwise. Smug little twat.

Also don’t imagine Percy using the water out of an water bottle to douse you and when your chasing him, ready to kill him, his excuse is that ‘it’s a hot day in camp and I thought you could cool off a little!’ As if that was going to save him from the ass whooping your about to give him.

Nico has silent footsteps.

He can travel through shadows.

This is a recipe for disaster as he can easily scare you without having to try all that hard. And it’s the worst feeling ever.

He won’t know just how silent his footsteps are until you point it out to him or else he’ll think that he’s more than made his arrival known. (He absolutely didn’t)

Nico could emerge from the shadow nearby and walk up to you and casually say ‘hey’ and you’ll almost come out of your own skin when you realised the pale Italian in the aviator jacket next to you.

‘Fucking hell Nico’ you’d groan as you grasp your chest, trying to calm yourself down from the initial scare. ‘Warn me next time.’ You would add and Nico would only look at you as though you had grown a second head.

He had no clue what you were on about but would continue his day like he would any other, doing the same exact thing to other campers and getting the same exact reaction he got out of you too many times to be coincidental.

Even when he’s not shadow traveling, his footsteps are quite enough to have you believe that he had just appeared out of nowhere, and not walked the entirety of camp just to tell you something.

‘You’ve got to stop popping up out of nowhere.’ You tell him.

‘I’m not doing anything!’ He’d reply.

‘You’ve got silent footsteps Nico! Can’t hear shit when you’re creeping up on me, do you want me to die?’ You’d say and all of sudden everything made sense to Nico as to why everyone seemed to be unable to notice him until he was standing nearby.

‘Oh.’ He’d say. Does this change anything? No not really as Nico finds it funny to see people get scared. It’s made even funnier when on Halloween when everyone is done telling their scariest stories.

Jason tends to electric shock people, not on purpose, it just happens without warning.

I’m talking rubbing your hands on a carpet super fact and touching someone’s arm, or rubbing a balloon against yourself and watching in awe as it makes the hairs on your arms stick up.

However he didn’t need to rub his hands on a carpet to give someone an eclectic shock, he can just reach out to you and make it happen.

You could just be reaching for his hand and zap! You’ve been given an electric shock by Jason grace! You flinch back to rub your hand and Jason thought you were hurt and was already reaching out to you to help when-

You guessed it another electric shock happens.

It doesn’t hurt, you’re not in any pain but still you were being zapped at the end of the day.

Jason isn’t aware of this ability until afterwards and he’s just as confused as you and will not reach out for you for a while until he’s certain he won’t shock you.

Which is a solid 50/50. It happens when he least expects it or it can strike twice if you were the unlucky soul to get an electric shock back to back.

Guess it’s a weird perk of being the child of Zeus.

[solxamber]

Heartslabyul, 1, Fluff

As a side note (This isn’t a second request I just got sudden brain worms!) all I can think about is Riddle with number six (I think?) with “Say that again” but like… As my mother with her violent hatred of Mariah Carey’s All I Want For Christmas. She despises the song, and every year we reach a point where she band it until next Christmas. She prefers the Werewolf Boyfriend song. And now I’m imagining Riddle with ADuece playing it and him moments away from collaring them- I’m sorry if this was weird but now I’m trying not to die laughing while in a public place.

help?? that's so funny??? also your mom prefers the werewolf boyfriend song???? that's somehow funnier

A Kiss for Luck || Deuce Spade

For the Holiday Event! || Prompt: "Is that mistletoe?" ; Genre: Fluff

Deuce was, by all accounts, a terrible actor.

You’d noticed his plan from the moment the holiday party began. He’d linger by the mistletoe every chance he got, looking over at you and then away so quickly it was a miracle he didn’t give himself whiplash.

“Hey, um… I think the punch tastes better over here.” He tugged at his tie nervously, gesturing toward a suspiciously decorated corner.

You squinted at the punch bowl. “Deuce, that’s eggnog.”

He froze. “Oh. Uh… yeah. My bad.” He quickly turned on his heel, nearly tripping over Cater, who laughed as he breezed past with a knowing grin.

You decided to let him sweat a little. Watching Deuce stumble over himself trying to orchestrate the perfect holiday moment was endearing in a way only he could manage.

As the evening wore on, you kept catching him in your periphery—standing near mistletoe, adjusting his sleeves, glancing your way, and failing miserably to look casual. You’d purposefully steer yourself in the opposite direction, enjoying his increasingly flustered expressions.

Finally, though, you decided to put him out of his misery.

Deuce was leaning awkwardly against the wall beneath one particularly prominent sprig of mistletoe, trying his best to look like he wasn’t standing there on purpose. He lit up when he saw you approaching, standing straighter and smoothing down his jacket.

“Oh! Hey!” he said, a little too loudly. “I didn’t see you there.”

You tilted your head up, feigning surprise. “Is that mistletoe?”

Deuce’s face turned a shade of red so deep it rivaled Riddle’s hair. “Uh, yeah. I mean, it’s tradition, right? You don’t have to, uh, if you don’t want to, of course! I just thought—”

Before he could ramble himself into oblivion, you leaned up and kissed him. It was soft and sweet, and when you pulled back, Deuce’s eyes were wide as saucers.

“I wanted to,” you said simply, unable to hide your smile.

Deuce’s shoulders relaxed, his expression shifting from shocked to relieved, then to something softer—something that made your stomach flip in a way nothing else could.

“I’ve been trying all night to make this happen,” he admitted sheepishly, scratching the back of his neck.

“I know.” You laughed, reaching up to fix the bow of his tie. “You’re not exactly subtle, Spade.”

His ears turned red, but he smiled—a boyish, bashful grin that made you feel warm despite the winter chill. “Guess I don’t have to be anymore.”

He took your hand then, holding it with the kind of care that made you feel like the most important person in the room.

And as the party bustled on around you, Deuce looked down at you, his shy confidence growing with every passing second. “So… can I kiss you again?”

This time, you didn’t make him work for it.

Masterlist

[impactrueno]

The Beetlejuice movie and Beetlejuice musical are (personally) pretty different to the point I would consider each its own thing, but do you think Beetlejuice Beetlejuice could ever be adapted into a musical/sequel to the original Broadway show?

i have no idea. would it be set in the year 2048? or do we wait another 30 years to see it? do they even make sequels in musical theatre???

the SEQUEL *AIRHORNS* joke where beetlejuice mentions going on a search for his dad was just that, a joke. but they have the opportunity to make it even funnier by making an actual new show about it and making it as ridiculous as you would expect lol

also delores.....can musical bj even have a delores? he doesn't seem to go to the netherworld at all (avoiding his mom i presume) and it appears he simply spends his time on earth feeling lonely and trying to find people who can see him or tricking naive newlydeads like the maitlands. so maybe....delores could be a newlydead that got tricked by him and is now hunting him down for revenge? or something? idk i'm having a hard time coming up with anything

as for rory, i also find it very hard to imagine musical lydia with a rory. something must've gone terribly wrong for her to end up being with someone like him. in the movie, lydia is with rory because she was vulnerable, and the root cause of that vulnerability is her trauma with beetlejuice that she never got to deal with, so it made her struggle with relationships and marriage throughout her life. but musical lydia isn't traumatized by her beetlejuice, so she would remain her usual tough self, only happier since she made peace with her mother's death and accepted her weird little family as her home. she would be impenetrable to rory's tactics. so musical rory doesn't seem feasible to me unless they revamp his whole character and motivation.

and then there's astrid. astrid is a lot like musical lydia, so giving HER an astrid of her own wouldn't...be as interesting, i think. there would be no conflict. unless (once again) they rework her entire character.

so basically it all boils down to making yet another bold departure from the original source material. which means it can be literally anything they want. theatre doesn't stick to one actor per role like movies usually do, so the stuff that the BJBJ movie had to do to work around this (removing the maitlands and charles) wouldn't even need to happen in the first place.

i've always been of the opinion that the musical is pretty solidly self-contained. i'm never able to come up with anything interesting for a continuation of the musical because the narrative, character arcs and resolution all feel airtight. everyone got what they wanted and they lived happily ever after. in the original movie you see beetlejuice back in the waiting room, and he won't be there forever, leaving it open for a possible continuation where he returns. in the musical he seems to be...gone forever? the netherworld works differently in the musical. but who knows, maybe after that dramatic exit he can one day pop up casually out of nowhere like "hi" lmao

[blueteller]

[Slams the table back like we're doing an Ace Attorney Trial] I'll do you one better! I think KRS should transmigrate as the unnamed 3rd Prince.

Think about it. We know very little about him, next to nothing really (which would give the fanfiction writer a lot of creative freedom). But the few key elements we DO know about him? They would make this transmigration match KRS a lot better than Robbit.

First of all, Robbit gets married within the 2 years since Cale transmigrates. While it's possible he only met his fiancee/wife AFTER the transmigration event happened, it would be better if KRS had no potential romantic partner to worry about. I mean, imagine if your boyfriend's/fiancee's soul suddenly got swapped and it looked like he suddenly stopped loving you. That would suck for that poor woman.

Secondly, if we take into account that Alberu is 23 at the start of the story, and he is the oldest of the three brothers... and also Zed did not have his other kids before Alberu's mom died... That means there is NO WAY that the 3rd Prince is anything older than 18. He's definitely a teenager, regarless if Robbit is one or not. In other words, with a younger body as a start, KRS would have to worry a lot less about "character development" for his new "prince" personna to fit his own interests.

Furthermore! In canon, it was often said that the 3rd Prince was the son of the queen and Zed's "favored son". That makes it for a LOT of interesting dynamics, especially with how KRS would use this position to his advantage - to flip the whole thing around, that is! Just imagine him playing the "nice kid prince" to his "allies" with a sweet smile (one of the allied families includes the STANS by the way, even more potential for drama!), who are all greedy aristocrats supporting a literal TEENAGE BRAT against his brilliant oldest brother of an heir - likely to become their own pupper ruler later on - while KRS inwardly plots to smack them all in the back and make them Alberu's subordinates.... without them having a clue how that happened in the aftermath. So much fun political drama just waiting to be explored!

Not to mention the bond between the brothers! Robbit as well! The age gap between 3rd Prince and Alberu would also make for a quite interesting dynamic too. I mean, there is no way Alberu actually knew his spoiled youngest brother all that well. He stayed away from him as far as possible, I'm sure. So with 3rd Prince!KRS suddenly barging into his life proclaiming that he would make him the king because he wants to be a slacker?? Alberu's befuddlement would be utterly hilarious. Much funnier than if it was Robbit, I think. I don't think Robbit was ever considered that much of a rival to Alberu in comparison to the 3rd Prince.

All of those things make the 3rd Prince a MUCH better person to have KRS transmigrate as. That's what I think, at least. What about you?

Me slamming the table: Kim Rok Soo got transmigrated into [Robbit Crossman]’s body instead of [Cale Henituse]’s body! Think about all the drama we can get from him trying to get on Alberu's good side! Think about how he will get involved with the Hunter plot much sooner due to being closer to King Zed!

Me flipping the table: Actually, I will do one better! Think about if he get transmigrated into [Robbit Crossman]’s much sooner, hence actually manages to form a good relationship with [Alberu Crossman] from the start! Think about him having [Choi Han] who is physically older than him follow him around like a lost puppy! Think about him raising the [Black Dragon] from the start! Think about him interacting with a younger [Cale Henituse]!

[lotusarchon]

HEAR ME OUT!! Remember that one episode we saw pigsy restaurant rival ? What if that guy had adopted a kid off the streets too and like them and mk are dating in secret…it’s a culinary forbidden love like Romeo and Juliet

That wasn't necessarily an episode it was the PILOT. I've rewatched LMK so much I remember the episodes by heard 🤭 and I remember that brief boar demon who had soooo much potential as Pigsy's rival for comedy sigh

Anyways Anon you're gonna make me start thinking of a new au now shame on you....

Anyways....

MK running into the boar demon's adopted kid (you) on accident. Maybe he doesn't do noodles but some other dish like dumplings or something? Anyways he runs into you on accident while running back and forth- you just happen to crash into him, the deliveries get mixed up and you're both getting yelled at by your dad figures

Meet again the next day to apologize. You really like Mk's Monkey King keychain and he's so ecstatic to meet an Erlang Shen fan? You both start yapping about how much you like JTTW (is it no small coincidence you both skipped most of the main plots to read about your favorite hero?) And of course agreeing to meet each other the next day to share more stories...

A pattern coming in because you're funny, you're cool and MK loves your company. Sometimes if you're lucky you both run into each other while making deliveries. You both make fun of the silly rivalry between the boar demon that's your dad and Pigsy's.

Something something an au where Reader is Erlang's student because I think it's funnier for this culinary Romeo-Juliet situation become a full-time Romeo-Juliet situation cause like hell will Wukong be happy with his student dating Erlang's. Or maybe he would because he thinks Erlang losing his mind over his definitely not ex boyfriend is funny....

Anon what have you done to me

[nexusvcrti]

apropos of nothing, thinking about how landon is allergic to avocado and josie is allergic to seaweed and they decided to go get sushi of all things for their date

[ineffably-human]

So here's my problem.

And it's not about Nandermo, not exactly anyway. Because I didn't expect Nandermo to become textual until the very end, if at all. The show kept making it clear that they liked their ambiguity to keep the relationship on the razor's edge, and Paul Simms made it clearer and clearer that for some reason (put a pin in this) he just couldn't see their connection as a sexual one.

But I frankly don't care about that, because if anything is canon in this show it's that the vampires will eventually fuck everything, and Nandor canonically fucks his other friends. More importantly, their connection was always the emotional core of both characters. And Paul always did say he saw their relationship as a romance, if a strange and non-sexual one.

So I figured we'd maybe get Nandor confessing that Guillermo meant a lot to him (and immediately walking it back a little), or Guillermo confessing how lost he feels without his vampire dream and Nandor offering him a place. Maybe an ambiguous, could-just-be-queerplatonic-partners 'I love you'. Maybe just the hug they kept teasing for three or four seasons and never got. We got like...half of two of those, in episode 10, so I guess that's a wobbly semi-fulfilled thing by my definition of it.

But it's not the Nandermo of it all. It's the Guillermo of it all. And how this final episode seemed to almost mock Guillermo's place at the emotional core of the show.

And the Guillermo of it all is why we never got the Nandermo of it all.

Shadows has vampires doing absurd-ass things, but every character also has things they want and feel, and there are various amounts of emotional ink spilled about it. The show has found space, sometimes very poignant space, to take that seriously in between the piss and sex jokes. The vampires change very slowly and in spirals, they repeat a lot of their old issues that stem back even to their mortal lives. But they always try.

And things do change in the vampire house; that is not the same household from the first season. Every single character, right down to the Baron and the Guide and Derek, are in different and better places than they were before the show began. They've made progress in their individual desires, and a lot of that is due to the improved connections they have with each other, connections we've watched them foster. A lot of the time it's because they're talked about as a found family, something Guillermo started and Guillermo believed before any of the rest of them did.

---

So where is Guillermo this season? Our human point of view, our dynamic character, the character who has a dream and wants something more than any of the others? Whose dream drives the storyline of the entire show?

Guillermo has chosen to be human, and he thinks he can't be part of the household if he's not a vampire. We watch Guillermo try to throw himself back into the human world trying to make up for lost time - to the point that he forgets the person he called his best friend, the people he called his family, in a way I think we never fully resolve. He thinks he's thriving, and he doesn't even seem upset about leaving the others behind.

We watch him revert (and that's fine, people revert sometimes) to the same waiting lapdog he was when we started the series. We watch him realize that and he says no. Nandor stands up for him, and feels better and more fulfilled in doing so, and that's a great capstone for Nandor and Nandor's own tendency for selfishness. And that's excellent. Episode 10 was a great start for all the ground they had to cover.

Nandor offers for Guillermo to be his partner in crime. His sidekick, but Guillermo expressed that desire back in season one so it's not an insult inherently. But here's the problem. Here's the part of Guillermo that has frankly always been a problem, because I thought it's something the show was eventually going to cover respectfully, and instead it was always part of the joke.

---

Guillermo is someone who made a decision sixteen years ago as part of a very young man's desire, to be respected and have cool powers, to live forever, to see the world. (He somehow thought being a vampire, and only a vampire, could get him those things but that's a rant for another time.)

That young man has grown up. He's in his mid-thirties, he has a body count. We've watched him at various times be empathetic, clever, cunning, and brave. Also extremely sexy in bodyguard gear. (And for some reason, the show keeps wanting us to forget that for a season he was extremely competent and badass and sexy pretty much all the time, and he seemed thrilled to be in that role, and he didn't even care about being a vampire if he could protect Nandor in that way and be regarded as 'part of the team'.)

Then Nandor dresses him in a stupid cowboy costume, and gives him a sidekick name ending in 'Kid', which he seems less than thrilled about. They all still talk about him the entire episode as if he's a disobedient child. The vampires speculate if Guillermo is having a fling with the crew, but no - Guillermo's had one boyfriend, who we saw him hug once and nothing more. Despite living in a house for fifteen years that is openly raunchy and shameless, he seems like a character designed to be both desexed and humiliated, and they never expand on the reason why.

(And if Guillermo were ace it'd be amazing, hell it's my headcanon at this point, but I don't think that's what they're going for. I think the show just desexualizes Guilermo. As a matter of praxis. For some reason.)

And the show has done this more and more to Guillermo in the later seasons. Nandor says he could steal original!Freddie easily from Guillermo if he wanted to. The vampires laugh at the thought of him being a vampire - "a little bat pooping everywhere," and Guillermo's time as a vampire has him basically feeling no different in his sexuality or, after a very brief moment, his confidence. Even Nandor's big climactic moment in Episode 10 has him saying that just because Guillermo isn't as cool or hot or interesting or strong as Jordan (or Nandor) doesn't mean Guillermo deserves to be treated poorly.

Look, I don't know if it's because Harvey Guillen is babyfaced, or because he's fat, or because he carries a different energy to his masculinity. Or because it's great to talk about gay sex and being horny, but writing a gay relationship is just too hard. Or some fun combination of all those things.

But I keep thinking about everyone freaking out when Nandor swooped into the collapsed floorboards to save Guillermo in season 4, and everyone freaked out and swooned. And Paul Simms expressed that as "[Nandor] has to save his little buddy."

Guillermo is a grown-ass man, with a desire to feel powerful and special and accepted, who Nandor sees as his little buddy. (Who everyone in the house sees as their little buddy, and it's nice he's part of the family, but...) After every emotional beat that makes them seem like equals with a special connection, he reverts to the less-cool sidekick who makes Nandor feel special and important. And Guillermo's prior devotion to Nandor - not to vampirism, not to a job or promotion, to Nandor - changes to other things, but Nandor never figures out why that hurts him so much. And for some reason the deepest bond of the series just isn't sexual, the showrunner just can't see it that way, in a house where everyone's fucking but not you Guillermo.

We're at the end of the story, and that's our punchline.

---

And we don't end on one of the points where Guillermo is asserting himself as someone who deserves to be taken seriously, and given the things he wants - and the show has had plenty of those moments, all of which seem to be building and evolving his relationships over the years.

We end on Guillermo being told that suddenly, the documentary is packing up without any fanfare or clarity on what they were looking for in the first place. We get Guillermo stumbling for clarity on what it all meant, what the point was for him and what his life is going to be now. We're told over and over again the documentary (and Guillermo, and the viewers) needs a satisfying capstone, needs emotional closure.

And the vampires tell him to shut up. And they tell him this has all happened before, and none of it is special to them. ("No human is special," Nandor said several episodes ago, and never went back on it.) And they tell him to do a little dance for their amusement, and Colin recites some pithy lines. And every attempt to take a moment to care about Guillermo's journey, or the core of his character and what he needs, is turned into a joke for him and for us.

Guillermo's looking for a point to it all, for some kind of fulfillment, and there wasn't one. And everyone is satisfied in that but him. And even if there were times Guillermo got the chance to be respected, to have cool powers (which he kept, but the vampires keep forgetting them), to live forever (he will die and leave Nandor someday!), to see the world - none of these things are going to come to him now.

It would make absolute, complete, and devastating sense for Guillermo to feel he's outgrown them and to leave. Nandor doesn't even seem upset enough to try and stop him. We never really get a clear reason about why he decides to stay.

I mean, it's for friendship or something, with a line about how they can still be close but he needs 'his own thing'. But in six seasons, over and over and over, we've been driven back to the idea that the most emotional part of this story is Guillermo's desire to become accepted in this family, and the effect he has on Nandor. That Guillermo needs this home and he consistently makes Nandor softer, kinder, less selfish and more fulfilled when they're together.

But those parts of their relationship, the love story parts, don't matter. Guillermo is going to find 'his own thing' when it's been clear how entrenched in this world he is (right down to his DNA), but Nandor will drag him back into shenanigans anyway, probably keeping Guillermo from whatever 'his own thing' is.

And Guillermo will always be Nandor's sidekick, his little buddy, never to be taken seriously. And one day, Guillermo will die, and he'll be someone they all forget. And for some reason, he'll be just fine with that, because he belongs with them but will never really be in a better position.

And he'll be satisfied with that. For some reason. But I won't.

[thethunderthedragonfruit]

need-to-know basis

when chromedome backed up brainstorm's lie about being forged was he being a true bestie or did he genuinely not know. this haunts me

[crabsnpersimmons]

exam 5 for me... tomorrow!

honestly have been feeling really nervous for this exam since my classmates have either failed it or just barely passed. and i had less time to study this time around because i rushed to book the exam.

so i drew this little encouragement early cuz i need the reminder that no matter what happens tomorrow, i did what i could and i didn't compromise on my boundaries—and that is its own victory.

and i hope that you'll be reminded to celebrate your own big and small victories too!

"You are nervous and that's okay! You did your best! You set boundaries! You took breaks! We're so proud of you, Starlight! Whatever happens, we'll always be here, cheering you on!"

[monokoitari]

I randomly thought of a Shen Qingqiu (Shen Yuan) Omega, who was searching for plants and mushrooms to see alternatives to create a new body ends up face down in a pile of tiny white-yellow flowers. Ugh, damn Airplane and its sexual pollen plots! But pollen is not sexual, it just makes him sneeze and have a very slight deviation of qi which, ironically, is relieved on its own thanks to Without A Cure being activated.

Shen Qingqiu pretends that nothing happened. At least it wasn't sexual pollen. Being an Omega affected by sexual pollen is a fucking pain. (More excuses to yell at Airplane)

A month later, nauseous, disgusted, irritated and sensitive, he is definitely pregnant and Shang Qinghua might die if it were up to Shen Qingqiu. How could he think of that!? A plant that impregnates people in a papapa world?! What kind of sense did that make?!

(obviously, it's an abandoned plot from Airplane. Something like, a wife who wanted a baby but because of her weak meridians was afraid of getting pregnant with the protagonist's demon baby, so Luo Binghe brought the flowers -with a great solo adventure in between to get them- to make her wish come true without papapa getting in the way. Which Shen Yuan would have liked to read. But damn.)

Shen Qingqiu keeps it a secret. It's not that he doesn't want others Peak Lords to know, it's just that... Well, he already knows what gossip is like. He hides his scent with talismans, blockers and patches, nests a lot, demands Shang Qinghua to scent robes for his nest because he feels heartbreakingly lonely (horrible omega instincts!) and runs away from practically everyone in order to get used to his condition before saying anything.

He is barely into his fourth month, debating with Shang Qinghua whether he should tell them right now (actually, Shen Qingqiu remembered something about, not announcing it until three months had passed? In his mind it made sense, but the baby bump is starting to show no matter how many tunics he changes or belts he layers, a tiny but obvious curve in his thin body, and oh, he's eating too much and sleeping too much, and probably if his disciples haven't said anything it's only been out of respect for their Shizun...). Then the cultivators are called to Jinlan City for its closure, the infected merchant and the missing disciples.

And Shen Qingqiu decides to go. Liu Qingge follows him because he is an unconventional guard dog, and Mu Qingfang is already going to provide medicine to Shen Qingqiu (and even though Shang Qinghua has somewhat clumsily taken over Without A Cure so that Shen Qingqiu doesn't have to expose himself pregnant before he decides, hat doesn't mean he's better.)

And there they are. And it turns out to be a sower. And Luo Binghe is there too.

And it's... insane. Because omega-pregnant Shen Qingqiu's instincts want to run away, but those same instincts want to hold Luo Binghe close because, oh, his poor little lamb, what happened to his sweet boy? Shen Qingqiu doesn't know how to respond to Luo Binghe's demands.

So, cornering him, Luo Binghe feels the little baby bump and watches as Shen Qingqiu's expression turns into the rawest dread when he realizes that his former disciple has noticed it. Luo Binghe pulls away as if burned by the touch, and Shen Qingqiu protectively covers his belly.

Luo Binghe doesn't know what to do with the information. He has already made Shen Qingqiu drink his blood parasites, and when he spreads them out, he can feel it. Feel the tiny life inside his Shizun. He can feel his Shizun's heart racing, his face terrified.

"Don't hurt them" begs his Shizun, in the most visceral and instinctive way. "Allow they to be born. Take revenge on me but do not harm them."

Luo Binghe... may fall apart. His Shizun thinks... Does he think something so horrible about him? It's to be expected, but it doesn't make him feel any less... wronged.

There are no scents on Shizun, but there are blockers and patches. Luo Binghe removes them. He needs to soak himself in the scent of Shizun's emotions to have the courage to leave.

... What he discovers is that his Shizun, on top of everything, doesn't have a binding bite either. There's a baby growing in his belly, and there's no binding bite on his neck. Who... Who would be such a repulsive and wretched alpha to impregnate an omega and leave him without taking any responsibility? Who could have done that?! Luo Binghe will destroy him.

Well, alright. If that irresponsible Alpha couldn't take care of his Shizun and the baby, Luo Binghe will. To hell with all the plans.

Shen Qingqiu still has no idea why Luo Binghe brought him to his palace in the Demon Realm, feeds him home-cooked food, gives him nesting materials filled with the beautiful and exquisite scent of Luo Binghe himself, gives him precious ancient relics or jade jewelry.

Well, maybe Luo Binghe is trying to keep Shen Qingqiu calm and comfortable so that his baby grow healthy and without problems, so he can get rid of the horrible Shizun who threw him into the Abyss when the baby born.

Shang Qinghua (brought to Binghe Palace after a hormonal imbalance because Shen Qingqiu misses his, well, pack) thinks Cucumber-bro is genuinely an idiot. But he will let him discover it on his own.

[lbhslefttiddie]

youve heard of sex flowers get ready for the flower that makes you into a celestial shoujo herione complete with particle effects you cannot turn the fuck off and creates a wifebeam so powerful it can incapacitate and maim and keeps making you burst into tears and fall on your ass which makes the wifebeam More Powerful and you also cannot turn this off either. and is also still, sort of, a sex flower

from one of my favorite fanfictions, Celestial Afterglow by elanor_pam, a fic that defies description in the best possible way

[revvethasmythh]

Thinking about returning to the Lighthouse after picking up the weekly groceries and how it's gotta be like, "oop, excuse me, Lucanis! I am here to restock your Bedroom, don't mind me." Like, the concept of the Panty-Bedroom(TM) is killing me currently. Imagine getting hungry in the middle of the night only there is A Man in the pantry standing between you and Midnight Cheese Snack? Imagine being the Man whose bedroom is the communal food pantry for eight weirdoes in the Fade? What levels of insane must your life have reached for you to be either of the people in this scenario

[astyrra]

animorphs is fun from a "how could characters from other series deal with this" perspective because taking out the primary big bad (visser 3) is... not very helpful, actually?

like, visser 3 sucks at his job. he is terrible at leading a stealth operation, kills his subordinates when he's upset, and refuses to consider any possibilities other than what he's already decided is true. like, to be clear, none of this stops him from being a powerful antagonist - he has a whole military, and the animorphs are teenagers. it's just that if he was killed or otherwise removed from power, his replacement would be worse

[kyouka-supremacy]

(˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶)

[deoidesign]

Someone killed my boss last night and he sent me this I'm so fired

god I can't wait to make this comic.

[shalom-iamcominghome]

I'm sorry, but when we read from the torah this week, it's just... I'm sorry, it was hilarious in a way. Imagine being a slave and entrusted with Everything then being in PRISON and then entrusted with All The Prisoners (You Are Also A Prisoner). Obviously, it would always have turned out that this would happen to joseph but I'm just imagining how that would have played out