nexusvcrti

[nexusvcrti]

what part of this haunted house are you?

the resident

Knowledge is your only weapon, and until now that’s always been enough. But you carry it like it’s something heavy, something you aren’t allowed to put down. You can’t leave yourself defenseless, but you’re so so tired. It’s a blessing and a curse, you’ve realized, to know the truths of this place and not be able to give them away. No one believes you, anyways, and you’ve learned not to waste your breath, not to scream your throat raw and broken to people you do not trust. So you keep it to yourself, like everything else. You grip these truths in your hands until they cut your knuckles and mar your palms, but at least now you can hold them at arm’s length when the walls start speaking.

tagged by: @viikingwitch tagging: you

[nexusvcrti]

floribeth + (not so) canonically appearing in legacies

[nexusvcrti]

Her mom's birthday used to be a whole event growing up. She and @viikingwitch would spend a week planning the day. When it had been just the two of them on the run, Hope feels like she hadn't even known when her mom's birthday was, or it was treated like just another day, and she hated that. And if she couldn't celebrate her own birthday with her family, she at least wanted to do what she could for Hayley.

But that was... literally decades ago. Life and trauma and pain has gotten in between them, and it's the first birthday since she's gotten back in touch with @foundationbuilt. Since everything had transpired between them.

She imagines that her place as chief party planner has been taken over sometime over the last several decades, and Hope isn't sure that's what either of them want anyways. To be reminded of a past they can never get back to. But it also doesn't seem right to let the day pass without acknowledging it.

It's why she's standing outside of her mother's house, a plain wrapped package in her hands. Inside is a scrapbook, worn and weathered with use, but the pages are filled with photographs, and Hope sketched out and painted seamlessly against the outline of the photo to fill the rest of the page, extending the backgrounds to show a wider perspective. They're snapshots of the things that Hope has seen and experienced over the years, brief moments that she wants to share with Hayley, even if her mother hadn't been there to witness it. The development over the years is apparent, showcasing different techniques and styles that she'd experimented with, a brief period where she'd done things only in charcoal. It's the closest thing she has to a running record of her life, beside the journal she carries with her everywhere.

Hope slips the package through the mail slot and turns to leave. She doesn't think she wants to be there when her mom finds the present. She's afraid of the rejection, that these pieces of our soul might get discarded like she herself once was. An unfair thought to Hayley, but one that the wounded child in Hope has never been able to silence. But there's a small message scrawled on the inside cover of the scrapbook.

Happy birthday, mom. Been working on these for a long time now and you were always my first champion when it came to my art. Realized that I'd been making these for you all along. Love you. - Hope

[nexusvcrti]

apropos of nothing, thinking about how landon is allergic to avocado and josie is allergic to seaweed and they decided to go get sushi of all things for their date

[nexusvcrti]

@ danielleroserussell hi again 🦋

Danielle has returned to Instagram! Photographed by Jacquie Sokoloff

[nexusvcrti]

235 FAVORITE SHIPS OF ALL TIME (ranked by my followers) 169. hope mikaelson and rafael waithe - legacies “I’m really glad I know you, Hope Mikaelson.”

[nexusvcrti]

The threat rolls off her tongue probably a little too easily, especially given all that they've been through. It seems a little absurd that despite it all, high school students could still be some of the scariest creatures they come up against. Even though years have passed at this point since Landon attended Mystic Falls High School, it appears he made a certain impact on the bullies, at least the ones that hadn't been turned into spider monsters. As is characteristic for him, Landon declines her offer to punch the jock in the face, even if in her mind, Hope thinks that he deserves it. She would have pulled it anyways, and maybe a black eye from a girl half his size would have humbled him a bit.

But his hand is warm around hers and she acquiesces as he begins to pull her away, warm eyes managing to break her death glare towards the back of the football player who has all but forgotten their exchange by now. "Can we go get a milkshake?" she asks begrudgingly, not above asking for a small bribe. Hope thinks it's actually a reasonable ask, and maybe she even won't rip off the fender of the jock's truck later.

@nexusvcrti asked : "you want me to punch him in the face?"

It makes him stare at her blankly for a moment as he looks at her and processes the words, followed by an almost nervous chuckle. It’s fitting for Hope though, solving problems with her fists, whereas Landon would sooner use his words. It’s the opposites attract that makes him even further enamored with her. He wonders how odd people would find it that Hope offering violence kind of endears him. Curls shift slightly as he shakes his head in answer because the look on her face and in her eyes that she is genuinely offering to take care of his problem for him, especially since it’s something so minuscule.

Hand reaches out as a boyish grin crosses his lips, hand squeezing faintly at her arm when it’s in his grasp. “It’s not a big deal, I’ll survive.” he lets her know, because he’s always so passive, especially when it involves himself. Only standing up for those he cares about. A lifetime of shrinking, from hiding and making himself small to avoid conflict. Hand slides down to take her hand, his thumb brushing over her knuckles. “We can just get out of here, Okay?” his eyes are locked with blue, currently a stormy hue, he just wants to take away her turbulence, the aggression. He hopes that if he gets her to focus on him it could help. “Come on. I’d rather be alone anyway.”

[nexusvcrti]

I'm sick of internet negativity, so let's combat it: reblog this and saying something nice/pay a compliment to the prev in the tags.

[nexusvcrti]

HOPE AND MOTHERHOOD

While the universe makes a big deal about how vampires have to miss out on the magic that is parenthood, particularly when it comes to women, it’s really not something that is at the top of Hope’s priorities, particularly not at this stage of her life, and it’s also not been something she’s given a lot of thought to over the years. It also entirely ignores the many valid ways parenthood can be a thing, either via adoption or magically transplanting babies from dying witches into a vampire who is technically incapable of conceiving). Either way, Hope has no desire to become a mother any time soon, if at all.

Being praised as a miracle baby who never should have existed is not as inspiring to a child as some might think. Coupled with the near-constant death threats and the requirements to hide who she was from everyone she cared about, Hope saw very little merit in the way her childhood played out. More than anyone, she is aware of what that kind of life can do to a child, so it doesn’t make sense why she would want to bring a child into the world who would inherit the same problems and enemies. Everything that Hayley feared for Hope would be the same fears she has for her own child, and it just perpetuates a cycle that she's unwilling to put them through. 

Furthermore, during the course of the show, Hope is still very much a child, and idk about most of y’all, but motherhood wasn’t really at the top of my list when I was that age. I know for some people, that is their life goal and I’m not knocking that, but I just don’t see that for Hope at this stage. She has grown up with that life, with a preview of knowing exactly what people would do to hurt a child of hers, and she is too cynical to put them through that. She also just straight up wouldn’t want to do this without Hayley.

Hope, unlike the rest of the Mikaelsons, has a bit of a different take on family. At the end of the day, the Mikaelson relationship is one forged by blood. That’s why it is such a big deal when they accept Hayley unequivocally as a Mikaelson, because in over a thousand years, pretty much no one else has been able to be a part of that bond. Hope, despite all of her issues with Salvatore and its students, grew up with peers who eventually become friends. They become people who she would lay her life down for, even if it takes her a while to get there. To her, blood isn’t the end all be all. 

It makes sense why Rebekah is so adamant about having biological children, because her entire life has been defined by a family vow bound by blood. Also, for a great majority of her life, women were defined by their ability to have children, and that kind of social thinking doesn’t disappear overnight. But Hope is born of a completely different generation, with a very different upbringing. She has been taught that family can extend beyond just blood relationships, and that it’s okay to embrace that. 

It’s not to say that Hope is forever turned off by the idea of being a mother, but simply that having biological children is not something she is interested in, nor is it possible for her at this point. If she ever does choose to be a mother, it will be in a situation where she adopts orphaned supernaturals and it would be in the distant future, probably after she has been able to experience a few lifetimes on her own. Hope also is physically frozen at 18, which provides additional complications to being a mother while also trying to hide among humans.

[nexusvcrti]

It would be nice if there was a story that went from lovers to friends, and when they became friends their connection grew stronger than before.

[nexusvcrti]

She wasn't expecting that response from her aunt. Everyone in her family never seemed to be afraid of anything, fearless after having lived for so long and seen so much. Hard to shake someone who's witnessed everything. "I... didn't know that. I mean, I guess I sort of did, but all of you seem like you have it mostly figured out."

❝ we're all scared. that's the big secret . . . we're all scared. ❞

@nexusvcrti liked for a starter.

[nexusvcrti]

HOPE’S TIME IN MALIVORE

Hope doesn’t talk about her time in Malivore at all as a general rule, though she may open up to some people about it once their relationship has progressed to a certain point. Even then, she is reluctant to relive the time she spent in the pit. The trauma caused by her time in Malivore is deeper than what we see in canon, and is something that she remains traumatized by to this day, even if she doesn’t admit it. 

Time passes differently in Malivore compared to the real world, heightened by the fact that without a day/night cycle, it is near impossible to tell how much time is passing. What little sleep she manages to get only serves to further disorient her. By the time Malivore spits her back out into the real world, Hope has no idea how much time has passed until she saw the date (and honestly, she was surprised it hadn’t been as long as she thought).

Malivore has the ability to conjure visions and images to torment the things that he consumes. A few times, Hope falls victim to those scenes of happier times with her family, or having versions of them that kept her company. However, all of these end badly, forcing Hope to relive her worst memories before the cycle begins over again. Between these visions, Hope also has to deal with Clarke popping up randomly and dodging monsters that are trying to hunt her. 

After she escapes the pit (regardless of verse), Hope does what she can to avoid reliving that darkness. She has nightmares about it frequently, and has a new aversion to darkness that she hesitates to admit (because being afraid of the dark is something she should have grown out of years ago). Despite hating that she had a roommate when she got back to Salvatore, she was also somewhat grateful for it because it helped to quickly knock her out of the terror that nightmares could put her in (which could lead to her hurting someone if she isn’t careful). She knows she isn’t alone anymore. 

While she refused to admit it to herself, for a while, Hope’s fear of having to return to that darkness is on the same level as her fear that The Hollow may one day regain its power over her. It’s why she was so reluctant to activate her tribrid side because she feared it meant that she had to go back to that darkness to seal Malivore, without any chance of escape. Eventually, once the threat of Malivore has passed, Hope begins to get a little more comfortable with being in the dark, though she still has an aversion to pitch black. She still prefers to keep her distance from the topic as it brought a lot of trauma to her life, and only addresses it if it’s brought up by someone else. 

[nexusvcrti]

Three words, the same three words she's been trying to work for ever since she let her humanity back in, but it feels hollow. Like it's too easy. She needs to pay for it, to hurt for it, like she hurt Caroline. "I- yeah, it's back," she confirms, still quiet and subdued. It's different from how she'd interacted with the headmistress before, equal parts her best friends' mother, leader of the school, and older sister/aunt type figure. Briefly, Hope wonders if Caroline is treating her more like her father now and she swallows hard.

"It can't be that simple," she shakes her head. "I almost killed you. I did kill Lizzie! How can you just say I'm forgiven like just that?" It's pure luck that the blonde is still here and between her family and Josie, Hope doesn't understand why people are so against holding her accountable for the awful shit she had done with her humanity gone. "Aren't you upset?"

Caroline, assessing the situation could see glimpses in Hope's body language of the girl she used to be. Taking in and releasing a long breath, the headmistress settled, hoping that this interaction would play out far better than their last. Working with werewolves Caroline knew well enough that she'd need to keep vials of Klaus's blood in her office at all times, it had become a habit and one she was thankful for on the night Hope had bitten into her. The blood of the original hybrid had stemmed the pain of the poison, and the vampires wound had healed over soon after but Caroline was left with far more than healed bite.

As much as Caroline wanted to understand why- somewhere inside of her she felt now wasn't the right time to ask, not immediately. "you're forgiven Hope". The headmistress signals a nod in the tribrid's direction. She'd much rather it had been her who took the damage than any of her students. "Correct me, if I'm wrong, but I'm assuming your humanity is now in back in tact?" oh how she was hoping so.

[nexusvcrti]

did some light clean up and tweaking of my rules and would appreciate a re-read <3

[nexusvcrti]

what colour does your love feel like ?

dark stormy blue

Sinking ships, raging seas and tumultuous hearts, love isn't easy for you. It's a struggle, a constant inner fight of should I? Can I? Do I? Feelings are hard and they rumble inside you in a dissatisfied mess that begs to be let out. Your heart screams and cries inside you and you… You can't, you won't. You're scared. And love is scary, it's hard and sometimes it just doesn't work out. People leave, people hurt, people change their minds. And you and your cold stormy heart yearn for the calmness, for the distance, to be allowed and able to simply not feel. And yet, you do. It rages, it fights and storms inside you and you try to keep it down, keep it quiet, to feel pretending not to. It's the burn of childhood friends growing apart, of parents that aren't quite there, of relationships that burn out. So you snuff it down with water, cold and calming and blue, blue, blue. But being loved by you is blue too, just not in that way. It's the soothing, embracing feeling of floating, the moment when you sink down bellow the waves and become one with the water, with everything. It's the balance, the dramatic yet calming sound of waves that crash against a rocky shore. You're the good and the bad, the violence of the storm and the watery peace right after. You're the blue, blue feeling and loving you is watery tears, yelled confessions that no one will hear and burying your feelings in a deep watery grave never to be found out about. Your love is dark stormy blue, it's vast and deep and all encompassing, it's safety in the surface of danger, it's trusting the unruly abyss and yet I'd gladly risk drowning just to feel what it's like being loved by you.

tagged by: stole it from my other blog tagging: people who want to do it

[nexusvcrti]

Katherine is not easy prey, she'll give her that, and Hope just grins at the older vampire. It's almost fun, when they realize there is something just a little bit off about her. When she was younger, it bothered her that way she would be othered because of who her family was, but she has learned to find her own fun with it. And maybe she's throwing a little caution to the wind because of all of the history that follows behind her family, she almost feels like it's the only way to get to know who they were before she was born. While she understands why her father is so reluctant to share those pieces of himself with her, that excuse worked when she was twelve, not two hundred.

But she came prepared and without missing a beat, she reaches back into the bag she came with and tosses Katherine another blood bag. "Fresh enough for you or do you have other requests?" she deadpans. She knows that the more blood she gives to Katherine, the stronger she will become, which might complicate things, but Hope still believes she has the upper hand. After all, even if she does manage to temporarily kill Hope, she'd be in for a nasty surprise when the tribrid woke up again.

"The epic of Katherine Pierce. Sounds like it's got potential, you know with all sorts of plot twists. Like how you met some of the arguably scariest vampires in the world and got away alive." She meets Katherine's gaze evenly and patiently. It's not like she has anywhere to be when no one knows that she's even in town.

This girls interest in her is something Katherine isn't sure how to feel about. Sure, it's not uncommon for people to be interested in Katherine, she is after all the fox that out ran the hound for five hundred years... however this woman, Hope or whatever her name was doesn't seem to know that about her.

She's so quick to rationalize why the information is of no consequence, manipulating the narrative to get what she wants. It's kind of cute actually, and just as equally off putting. Right away Katherine can tell the way @nexusvcrti has approached this that she's used to manipulating and her lack of fear for an old vampire is a red flag. Either she's a little arrogant and doesn't think Katherine is a threat.... or she doesn't see Katherine as a threat because she's not.

In this state, it's not smart for Katherine to leave anything to chance.

The doppelganger let out a short and hoarse little chuckle.

"My energy." Katherine shifted again with a grimace and looked over at her interviewer.

"I tell you what. Get me more blood, and I might be persuaded to share the epic of Katherine Pierce with you. It's a long story, and I don't have a lot of energy to spare."

Two can manipulate, nothing from Katherine comes free of charge.

[nexusvcrti]

HOPE AND HER AGE

I played kinda fast and loose with Hope's age on my prior blog but I'm realizing that I'm a dates autistic girlie so now that I've hammered out how the timeline works for my portrayal, I'm going to definitively say that Hope is canonically 18 years old when she has her first death and goes full tribrid. By the time she returns from her self-imposed post canon exile, she is at least mentally 21 years old.

However, I think it's important that she stays physically 18 for a couple of reasons (both OOC and IC).

Hope's entire life, she's had to grapple with being sheltered by the people around her (while also simultaneously held out as the chosen one, don't ask). A part of that has to do with her youth and innocence, especially in comparison to the centuries the Mikaelsons have been living through and Hayley's own difficult history. She's never had to worry about not having a roof over her head or where her next meal is coming from. She's never had to fear being hurt at their hands. As many other struggles that Hope does have in her childhood, she is largely shielded from these things and it shows in her worldview.

I think it's fascinating to explore the idea of an immortal being in the body of someone who is functionally viewed as a child in some spaces and as an adult in others. Legally, Hope is an adult on paper but there will always be people in her life who view her as a naive 18 year old teenager. She could be 3000 years old and people will still be ragging on teenage girls. Already, she's feeling the dissonance of being seen as a child in some ways while acting as the adult in many situations, and that would be amplified, the larger that gap grows. This allows for deeper complexity when it comes to relationships (both platonic and romantic).

Tungl is super weird about teenagers having sex now so consider this a heads up if you've made it this far. Hope will have relationships and she will have sex, and she will be doing it in her physically 18 year old body. It may not be explicitly referred to or written out on the dash, but everyone should just be aware it's happening so if you're going to be weird about it, you should probably leave bc we're not going to get along. Also I'm going to SUPER side-eye you if you are weird about this but also ship anything with Caroline or Stefan, considering they're both physically 17.

The angst of knowing you're going to stay young and beautiful forever while you outlive pretty much everyone around you even if you'd give it all up in a heartbeat for one more moment with them.

Hayley was not that much older than her when she had Hope/became a hybrid. Hope is honestly relieved that she didn't die physically older than her mother. She just feels like that would be wrong.