#but it was difficult because all i saw was Wrong(tm)

[makeitlookdecent]

end of year "colors" (sketch)

[zukosdualdao]

so, this post was originally born from a post i saw a couple of months ago that was deriding people for criticizing katara’s main role in lok being a healer when that was never all she wanted to do but liking the scene where she heals zuko in sozin's comet. at the time i thought about responding directly and decided against it, but i have since scanned through transcripts of every instance (i could find; it's possible i could be missing something) of katara healing someone in the show and how they respond. (you know, like a normal and well-adjusted individual. lmao.)

anyway, aside from katara explicitly stating that she doesn’t only want to be a healer, another aspect of why people don’t like that this is how her story goes in lok is because of the way healing is treated in the atla narrative.

Katara: Aang, you're burned! Let me help you. [Katara heals the burn on Aang's arm.] Aang: Wow, that's good water. Sokka: When did you learn that? Katara: I guess I always knew. Sokka: [Sarcastically.] Oh ... Well then thanks for all the first aid over the years. Like when I fell into the greaseberry bramble. [Angrily.] Or that time I had two fishhooks in my thumb!

this comes, of course, after aang accidentally burns katara and she learns she can heal through her waterbending by healing her own hands. then (after comforting aang despite being the one who got hurt, not that i'm bitter), she heals aang after he gets burned in his fight with zhao. and like... there's not so much as a cursory thanks in this scene.

to be clear, because i can already hear some responses in my head and i am making a preemptive strike: i'm not saying that when other characters don't thank katara for her healing, they're like, the worst people ever for not doing so or there aren't other ways at different times where they show their appreciation. what i am saying is that it feels like this sets up a long pattern of katara's healing specifically being taken for granted, and it makes me especially uncomfortable when i see her healing as a sort of metaphorical parallel to the emotional labor often expected of her in the show, especially because this and being The Avatar's Girlfriend/Wife is more or less what she's relegated to in post-canon.

also, i have to note sokka's line here. i don't want to come down on him too hard for this, because it's obviously being written humorously (and does genuinely make me laugh, for what it's worth, if just for the inherent ridiculous nature of two fishhooks), but his sarcastically saying thanks for all the help over the years when katara says she always knew (which is supposed to be her saying it just somehow instinctively came to her) does feel like another mark in this pattern. but i also really read this as sokka trying to lighten the mood after a Difficult (TM) day, so i cut both him and the writers some slack for it.

Meanwhile, back at the Outer Wall, Katara attempts to heal a member of the Terra Team. General Sung: What's wrong with him? He doesn't look injured. Katara: His chi is blocked. [Stops healing.] Who did this to you?

i find it interesting that katara has sort of naturally fallen into a token team healer role, to the degree that we don't even see them ask for her help or her agree to it; it's just automatically assumed that she will. and i mean, on the one hand, it's fairly standard to have an Assumed Healer in a fantasy action setting like this, where people will get hurt in combat and therefore the narrative needs someone whose job is to help them. the problem for me is that the show kicked up such a fuss about how women shouldn't just be allowed to be healers, and yet it's still the role no one but katara ever fills. aang is also a waterbender! why couldn't she have taught him healing, too? i genuinely think it would have added a lot to the story, but katara is The Girl (TM), so healing is what she (and only she) does, what's expected of her, and again, with very rare thanks for it.

Katara stares open-mouthed at Jet, her hands hovering near her mouth in shock. Snapping out of it, she withdraws water from her water skin, with which she covers her hands, and it begins to glow as she kneels down next to him. Cut to a shot from over her shoulder, with Jet glancing at her while she rubs her hands over his chest in an attempt to heal him. After rubbing his chest three times, the glow fades, the water stains Jet's clothing, and Katara looks back over her shoulder toward the rest of the group. Katara: This isn't good. Smellerbee: You guys go and find Appa. We'll take care of Jet. Katara: We're not going to leave you. Longshot: There's no time. Just go. We'll take care of him. He's our leader. They stare at Longshot in surprise. Jet: Don't worry, Katara. I'll be fine. [Smiles a little.]

Cut to a closer shot of Katara placing Aang's body on Appa. Katara opens the vial around her neck and uses water healing on Aang's wounded back. The rest of Team Avatar, Kuei, and Bosco all look sadly and in anticipation. The glowing from the spirit water stops, and Katara starts crying, assuming that it was not enough to save Aang. Aang's tattoos glow for a second and Aang groans. Katara, overcome with joy that Aang is alive, looks at him, who smiles a little, and she holds him closer.

writing about these together because i have less to say about them. i'm definitely not going to fault jet for not thanking katara when she tries to heal him as he literally lay dying, or aang for not having the mind to do so after she brings him back. but i am still going to fault the narrative for putting her in a position where healing is just inherently expected from her and yet very rarely allowing her to feel the emotional toll of that or to feel constricted by it. and when she does struggle against the weight of it (not necessarily of being a healer, but of being expected to be kind and good and uncomplicated with no room for other aspects of her identity, which are very tangled up in why she is The Healer) in episodes like the runaway or in the southern raiders, she just... does not receive a lot of support from the people she should be most able to rely on.

Katara: Maybe we should go upstairs. [Helping Aang up.] You need a healing session. Back in Aang's room on the ship. Katara bends some water onto the scar left by Azula's lightning attack. Katara: Tell me where the pain feels most intense. Aang: Mmm, a little higher. Uhhh! Aang briefly flashes back to the battle at Old Ba Sing Se where he rose into the Avatar State, then back to reality. Aang: Wow, you're definitely in the right area there.

not much to say here, it's just another instance where it would have been so easy to slip one thank you in, and the writers just... do not. the reason i think it bothers me so much with aang specifically is because katara is supposed to be both aang's physical healer and his emotional crutch in a way that she's not written as being for, say, toph or sokka. he's sometimes shown appreciation for her emotional support, but he still comes to rely on and expect it in ways that do not always feel healthy, and knowing that, it bothers me that he shows even less appreciation for her healing, because it's just what katara is there for.

A figure resembling the Painted Lady glides over the water on a carpet of fog and enters the village. She steps into a hut where several people are sleeping on the floor, and bends over each of them in turn, healing them with a blue glow. Her last patient is the mother of the little boy seen earlier, her son sleeping at her side. He wakes as the Painted Lady turns to go and silently follows her out the door. Little boy: Thank you, Painted Lady.

this is a genuinely sweet scene in which katara does receive appreciation and genuine thanks for her healing, but i think it's also worth noting that katara is not being recognized as herself here. still, i am genuinely very glad that it's included in the episode because (again, unless i am missing something) it is the first time katara gets thanked for her healing.

The scene cuts to show Appa landing on the edge of the battlefield. Sokka and Katara help Hakoda onto the ground, and Katara starts trying to heal him. Katara: How does that feel, Dad? Hakoda: Ah, a little, better. I need, to get back to the troops. [Attempts to stand but is too weak to.] Ahh! Katara: You're hurt, badly. You can't fight anymore. Hakoda: Everyone's counting on me to lead this mission Katara, I won't let them down. [Attempts to stand again but can't.] Ahh! Sokka: Can't you heal him any faster?

they're in a high intensity situation, and sokka is Stressed because hakoda is supposed to lead the mission, so i, like, Get It, but "can't you heal him any faster?" does strike me as another moment in which katara's healing is being taken for granted. i think it's something that would bother me a lot less if this was an isolated incident in the writing, but *gestures vaguely at whole post*.

Sokka: [Brightening.] Dad! [Rising and approaching the two.] You're on your feet again. Hakoda: [Sitting down; somewhat weakly.] Thanks to your sister.

that being said, in the next hakoda and katara scene, there is this very sweet moment, where hakoda might not be thanking katara directly but is showing a lot of appreciation and admiration for her skill in healing (and though she's not in the dialogue i included, she's around to hear it, which makes me happy.)

Katara: It's gonna take a while for your feet to get better. [Stops healing.] I wish I could have worked on them sooner. Toph: Yeah, me too.

once again, i'm not gonna fault toph for wishing katara could have healed her feet sooner, because she's been in pain all night, but the writers could have very easily (as they could have in any of these scenes!) chosen to include a perfunctory 'thanks' here, and they just didn't. i know this is getting repetitive, but i swear it's because it's largely more me being mad at the writers than the characters, lmao.

there are also a couple of scenes in which katara doesn't heal anyone, but her healing gets brought up by aang.

Aang: He doesn't look sick. You okay, buddy? [Appa groans and Aang pulls out Appa's purple tongue.] His tongue is purple! That can't be good. Katara, can you heal him?

to be fair, aang asks here, and it's not like aang gets defensive or angry when katara says appa needs medicine (and also to be fair, appa's not even actually sick, lmao, katara's being slightly trickstery), but it's another instance where katara is automatically positioned as the person who is and should be responsible for healing.

Aang: [Chuckles.] Well, not over over. I mean there's always Katara and a little Spirit Water action, [Turns to Katara.] am I right? Katara: Actually, I used it all up after Azula shot you. Aang: [Disappointed.] Oh.

i actually don't mind this so much as a writing moment, as i think it's a lot more intentional wrt aang not always conceptualizing the reality of the violence he’s facing. still, it’s another instance of katara’s ability to heal and care for him being taken for granted, and i find it especially notable it’s in of the last significant moments they share together (the other being an argument as katara urges him not to run away from the reality of their situation with ozai) before they spend the rest of the finale separate until they’re kissing without a word at the end.

and then there is the zutara healing scene, where katara heals zuko after he interferes and takes azula’s lightning to the chest when she’s aiming for katara.

Cut to Katara as she rolls Zuko on to his back and begins healing him. Zuko opens his eyes, feeling the pain lessen, and smiles weakly at Katara, who smiles back as she sheds a tear.

Zuko: Thank you, Katara.

Katara: I think I'm the one who should be thanking you.

it seems fair to me to say that one of the reasons the motifs of healing in the zutara are dynamic are so appreciated by their fans is because of how it contrasts to a lot of moments where the work katara does with her healing is under-appreciated. for one thing, it happens as part of a mutual exchange—katara heals zuko after he gets hurt saving her. (this also somewhat calls back to their scenes together in the crystal caves in the tcod, where she offers to heal his scar after they are trapped together and zuko extends her empathy.) it’s based in reciprocity. it’s also, as shown here, one of the few moments of explicit, heartfelt appreciation and thanks given for katara’s healing.

[andy-wm]

Jimin and Yoongi performed TM at The Final in Seoul...

AND OMG!!! I WAS THERE!

I took a chance on Jimin performing Tony Montana with Yoongi during the encore concerts and wrangled myself a Saturday ticket.

The stars aligned for me and like magic, there he was. Park Jimin, in real life. He performed not only Tony Montana but also, incredibly, Like Crazy. It was a dream come true!

Dont get me wrong, it wasn't ALL about Jimin. Yoongi is my bias, after all.*

But the reason i went, was in the hopes of seeing them together on stage for T.M.

It's really only hitting me now, 10 hours later as I queue to check-in for my flight home*°, how lucky I was. I'm trying not to cry in public. Yes, it was that good.

I cannot overstate the gloriousness of Jimin's live performance, especially for a solo choreo like this one.

He swirls and darts and glides through the movements like a murmuration.

He is a swan on water. He is an illicit drug. He is ambrosia. He is seduction.

He's the aurora borealis in human form.

The funny thing is, when he wasn’t transfixing us with his grace and his voice (and his hips), he was such a cute, awkward, lovable bean. And before he performed Like Crazy, he seemed SO NERVOUS. It was oozing from his pores.

There are moments in your life you will never forget, and Tony Montana in Seoul, at Yoongi's 2nd last show of his first solo tour, was one of them.

It was wild and exhausting, but totally worth it. 36 hours flying time and 36 hours in Seoul, arriving late friday night and leaving at the crack of dawn on Sunday to go directly to work on Monday morning when my flight landed.

(I readily admit I did a TERRIBLE job of videoing these performances. I have a special talent for taking absolutely rubbish footage. Even when I have a prime position and a very good camera my videos look like they were shot through a telescope on a rough sea. And often they're out of focus because I'm actually not looking at the phone once I hit the record button 😁)

☆~●~♡~●~☆

*Yes, absolutely Yoongi is my bias. Since day one, the very first time i saw any of them, it was Yoongi who grabbed my attention. I've always liked the moody, difficult boys LOL.

Jimin, however, has a place in my heart that will never be reclaimed or relinquished. Jungkookie is there by virtue of Jimin, because they come as a set.

☆~●~♡~●~☆

*° I wrote this in the early morning on Sunday 5 August and forgot to post it. Better late than never, I guess.

[randomnameless]

#Willy smut was written by the masses who ignored how manipulated he was! House Hresvelg is 100% human!!! I headcannon (in a comedic way) that it is Agarthan proganda. Thales after taking over Adrestia‚ comb through his diaries and discovers it has no secrets to exploit. Mostly boring things that happenned‚ something related to Seiros‚ something related to Seiros in a graphic "Please go back to writing anything else" way‚ and about Lycaon (and his relatives). Thales burns them and swears that no one can learn that he lost to someone who would rather write down smut than anything he considers important. And thus the "Willy" who sat back as Seiros puppets the continent was born (and also totally had a hard time fighting some pale guys that mysteriously show up‚ but "his words not mine" - Thales)! Also to play off your 120 children headcannon‚ Willy (way before Lycaon was a pincushion) said to remember him not as an emperor but a lover.

10k years of lore being what they are, the "poor dumb willy was manipulated by the evil lizard lady" could be Agarthan propaganda... or propaganda coming from the hresvelg themselves lol

Poor Thales having to read through pages and pages of "theological" discussions ("Seiros said the Goddess created her children in the image she took to resemble humans, but Cichol doesn't have big bazongas? Or he hides them using a transformation magic? Will Cethleann grow big bazongas too or not?") decided to take revenge against the Hresvelgs and swore to bring their demise.

After all, their line was founded by a beast who was much closer to a clown, and who willingly mated with an abomination and kept on writing about this sin, and the resulting monstruosity born from their fornication!

(infiltrating early Adrestian society where every human was horny about the saints was a challenge, even after their departure he couldn't escape the horny Macuil poems or graphic theatrical representations of "Saint Cichol's Holy Spear and the Blessed Maiden").

Willy thus became a moron - it wasn't difficult to convince his descendants since they resented the evil lizard lady who kept on calling him the "greatest" (what about them???) and, after the barbarian rebellion, it was even easier to instill hate and resentment towards the evil lizard lady and her viles who manipulated poor dumb willy (tm).

Sadly when Thales tried to slander even more Willy's memory by saying he was an inconsiderate horndog, Adrestian Emperors saw nothing wrong with that, and tried to hide this "achievement" to make sure no bastard would knock at their door to ask for the throne, and also, because "measuring one's worth based on their virility is something those barbarians do not us enlightened Enbarrites", even if some "romance novels" started to spread around 580 all around Fodlan about "Great Emperor Wilhelm" that were written by an anonymous author who was apparently so famous and popular that that author's style was well imitated and copied through the ages, until 20 years ago where people imitating the first novelist basically stopped writing about him.

they still kept on having several concubines for some reason that is totally unrelated to any competition they could have with their stupid ancestor.

[anghraine]

Out of curiosity, if you don’t mind me asking—as a fellow (recently diagnosed) autistic person, do you feel like the “disorder” has affected your literary analysis skills? Like, everyone knows how we struggle with social situations/subtext in particular, but in your experience is it the same with written word?

I don't mind at all!

I do have trouble with the written word, but more often in an interpersonal way where there's a more personal subtext or possibility of subtext than in literature. I'm terrible at giving my students written feedback because what I'm trying to say can so easily "come across wrong" that it takes forever. And I feel like I'm missing a whole dimension of expression when I'm trying to interpret written communications from others.

That said, this is still generally easier for me than speech of any kind, where there are so many more ... axes of indication, I guess. That may be why literature has always "clicked" with me in a way that other media don't—it cuts out some of the things that make dealing with people so difficult, even if some are still there.

With regard to autism+literary analysis skills specifically, there's a definite effect, I think, but it's not so much social, beyond a tendency to sound harsher than I mean to (I end up softening almost everything I write in revision because my default way of expression is so sharp and rigid). I tend to be very fixated on certain aspects of literary texts, and it's actually pretty natural for me to find patterns and connections and so forth that people don't always expect I can—but it's mainly only as long as they're related to my own particular fixations.

People who've followed me for awhile can probably tell that a lot of my Content(TM) and thinking is just me fixating on the same handful of fairly specific topics over and over again. It's mostly just me coming at them from slightly different angles, expanding on previous ideas, or repeating myself in a marginally different way.

I also often need more time than others to think analysis through, especially with new ideas (to me), because it takes awhile to really process them and formulate my own opinions (though my opinions are very strong and pretty inflexible once I do). And that can definitely affect how I do research and come to conclusions, of course.

Some of all this can be true of allistic people, but in my grad school experience, at least, it has been vastly more true of us. I also noticed in grad school that I would just miss some things in our readings that everyone else saw, but they would also miss things I saw, so it feels like there are both advantages and disadvantages to how many of us process written language when it comes to literature. Literary research has sometimes actually helped with this and is part of the appeal of it—engaging with pre-existing criticism and such helps me fill in the kinds of things that other people see and I don't.

[unproduciblesmackdown]

it's Enriching to note ways the second layer of the story that is act ii contrasts with the first to complementarily fill out ideas, like the murdered guy in act i being an uncaring visitor wielding more power than anyone else has, versus act ii's longtime community member motivated by others' wellbeing and challenging the established power because of this....i'm loving how such Juxtaposition / Inversion elements are put upon the player by our having a layer of mystery in exploring who andreas is now after this timeskip. that screenshot i saw where i think gernot can tell andreas that just because he didn't observe something happening doesn't mean it didn't happen; that andreas's focus on any given suspect can be based on his (so, the player's) assessment of surface-level interactions with them, where he can dig into their stories, or not, and either approach still just depends on how he (so, you) choose to judge that Story. bitches love metanarrative

and here, i've seen people talk about judging andreas for, so much as the player is told up to that point, Just Not writing back to his friend after that friend says his wife and child died. and here, Andreas knows his own story and motivations in a way the player doesn't, and doesn't know they don't know, and the game requires you to find out, but that andreas giving away that Something Happened at all, and his distress surrounding it, can happen before, in some [internal dialogue] when talking with one of the women in tassing about her losing a child. i remember that in the first playthrough i watched, the player just kind of backed out of the conversation after the woman (veronica i think?) got ink-splatter / angry-expression cued Upset, and i kind of misinterpreted this as the game having "wrong" dialogue options, essentially....the way that other characters will tend to react negatively to andreas using his Background Selected Knowledge to comment or clarify, b/c this is interpreted as Pedantic(tm) lol like i also wish any of the playthroughs i'd seen had people talk more to brother volkbert, let's get that "i know he is an autistic character and i know this is on purpose" rep lol....so, that is to say, i was ready for there to just be ways andreas can have said the Wrong Thing like umm obviously how could you, And for this to be meant as "obvious" / not needing explanation. then i see someone show that [here's where you can realize Something Happened with andreas as he talks to this parent about their young child's death] conversation in full, where if you keep at the exchange despite veronica clearly being upset, it also becomes clear she's feeling defensive because she's questioning her own complicated / conflicting feelings about things

it's Enriching to contrast with andreas's investigative efforts with andreas's own secrets from the player here; the way people will discuss how brother guy has a really sympathetic and positive motivation behind his Secret, but it's difficult to get him to explain what it is, though he can hint at the context earlier, and if you spent act i (and presumably act ii) being hostile to him because he's fairly hostile / making things worse for people around him, presumably it there is even less room for the player to convince guy to share the truth. i saw someone's playthrough where they spent act i focusing on ottilia, maybe more obviously sympathetic from the onset but likewise recalcitrant and thorny And more difficult to physically get to, and i was like Oh my god when in act ii andreas can hear secondhand that ottilia always speaks so highly of him even while continuing to be a hater in general, go bitter woman....that with pretty much anyone there's this effort to avoid the idea that this metanarrative is about the "right" or "wrong" judgments and choices; no one is supposed to be A Saint (lol!) so as to "tell" the player the "correct" route. like damn i have to be pissed at guy at least for being a Standout Asshole to volkbert. i enjoy rapscallion andreas being able to win martin's favor; i then am like "oh. i see" as act ii "martin" gets aggressive when drunk and vents this as getting nationalist at a stranger for being italian (not speaking english this is america...)

and like, i love that this also isn't about throwing up your hands like "wow i guess since there's no way of parsing some Absolute Objective Truth and since everyone is as fully human and complex as anyone else, we just say 'it's complicated' and call it a day," because individuals and humanity Don't Do That, and this is about seeking illuminated paths to the truth anyways, because the things that happen even if you didn't see it will keep affecting you anyways. there's people so shitty that everyone's like "oh yeah kill him" and people so sympathetic that everyone's like "do NOT kill" and engrained in it all is ways that andreas can affect storylines, including that you can See the developing results of those storylines as the game progresses even if andreas (and the player) didn't See the threads in the first place (e.g. watched a game where the player didn't investigate matilda at all, and of course still finds her married to wocslav in act ii, rather than the game excising that element if the player has no prior context / didn't knowingly actively "choose" that)

and that a conclusion of "well, if you're trying your best based on [cue a Facet of andreas's mind court] things will turn out as well as can be hoped" is also not supported when like, there's not only all the things andreas can't prevent like the broad events in the first two acts, the unintended repercussions of who of [two people who he must choose from the suspects pools] dying, but that entire subversion of the player's presumed efforts to do what seems Right in the "failure" regarding caspar getting him killed; which you can't amend without being like, cruel to this child while he's alive, even simply by being "uncaring"....that already in act ii, andreas is internally struggling with an overall effort to detach himself from everyone to avoid all the unforeseen, unavoided negative developments / repercussions, the perceived Failures. that for the player to Save caspar requires a redo with insider knowledge, since in the first playthrough all you know is you spent act ii trying to be nice to this kid, or not, and only eventually in act iii do you know that he died (and, otherwise, you don't really know what happened to him / don't Know that if you had been uncaring enough, he would have actually left)

that ofc andreas too is a character to judge / investigate and cannot be A Saint and yet you Will affect this story and you can't just throw up your hands, trying to take the most "neutral" / middle path / compromising route in any situation doesn't extricate anyone from the things happening that they were a part of, and of course andreas is a Central Character and also a Detective figure who has to be actively involved and nosy to an adequate degree anyways lmao.

really what i set out to post here is "it's neat that the 'you can judge this person based on more immediate assumptions without further information, but When You Find Out....' is turned around on the player on a deeper level when you can go 'wow andreas, just being an asshole when i wasn't able to choose the [write back to claus] option much??' and then you can go 'oh. hm' upon finding out the reason for this that won't be shared in full for Some Time b/c andreas isn't sharing it with other characters, who don't quite get his motivations as apparent to them either, even when we can realize in retrospect they've gone through similar things (which, despite andreas being more open (with the player) in kicking himself about "well at least you're more well off / doing less physically arduous labor than these people," extends to their ultimately sharing problems even beyond the infant/child/general mortality ones) like, Something Happened, even when we the player were not there to observe it, and we can play a sad trombone note when we have to realize that maybe we judged andreas negatively for something extremely complicated and sympathetic, or at the very least that something so major and relevant could Be There, and be affecting things, even without our knowing exactly what it was at the time, though hints were there

and that it's also great how the game's thread with caspar is like, seemingly this "hm why not choose the more supportive / kinder dialogue options, right?" after andreas taking even a simply more noncommital approach towards interactions with tassing's children has hardly been a disaster, anyways, And Yet. and wherein like, as pointed out, the greater prevalence of mortality didn't mean "oh life is cheap then, nobody gets invested in their children" (any more than reductions in child mortality means people now Must be invested in their kids / not see them as interchangeable/disposable resources) when like, this plot is one where caspar is made more vulnerable for having more of an emotional connection to andreas, he didn't get sick or hurt or killed by the soldier police. andreas has Been out here making himself more vulnerable by his connections to others. everyone is made more vulnerable for being connected to anyone and everyone else, themselves as inherently vulnerable as everyone is, no matter how much material insulation they have, though obviously factors like impoverishment, anything conferring marginalized status, make people more vulnerable, which makes others more wont to be like "well that's Their problem and we have to look out for ourselves" about it....you can save caspar's life but be this major figure in it who basically just rejects him / withholds emotional support and possibly emotionally undermines him "enough." There Is Unavoidable Cost to being connected to / involved in others' lives, that inherent vulnerability whether tragedy or triumphs manifest, and of course anyone's best intentions and best efforts combined never prevented all tragedy or undesired outcomes from happening, even when you don't anticipate the stakes and think that being nice can't play out badly....you encounter this before even, the "danger" of supporting paul, even just the uncomfortable dinner conflict of backing up veronica (or not) about people not waiting to poach property from an old widow who keeps to herself / isn't charmingly beloved enough such that people aren't intervening to help her, while, of course, they're already vulnerable themselves....you even kind of have it brother piero, where his and andreas's dynamic is presented so efficiently as genuine and supportive, and he's vulnerable due to his age, like jeez andreas he was probably gonna die soon anyways, why'd you have to interfere, he was even willing to take that fall. here's caspar, willing to put himself at risk to help andreas who in turn would risk himself to save some of the inherent value / path to truth in any single manuscript....ensuring caspar doesn't die requiring sabotaging his connection to you; andreas having to work through trying to avoid all connection (but never able to fully do so at any point) of course not just to protect himself but to protect others because the vulnerability of any given connection is, like its potential compounding strength/resilience afforded instead, a two-way street....this just Was a connection wherein the vulnerability of it clearly has some dear cost one way or the other, b/c it's a point in a story given limited outcomes lol like how the abbey Will be burned

as always, tl;dr take two: it's great how the player can judge act ii andreas before they have some extremely relevant facts to then be like "oh. damn" about. it's great how life is happening no matter what whether you try to be detached or desperately involved, and life happening includes what you don't see happen, and it includes death, and it includes something that happened here that you were a part of, and things you tried to write/paint over and the things you tried to write/paint About, and things that didn't go wonderfully but there's nothing that can be done about it now, and that's so much of andreas's whole arc, and you can't stop claus from dying b/c someone accidentally hit him too hard in the dark when they didn't expect him to get there so fast, but you Will be there to hold his daughter in her immediate grief....in years of disappeared retreat, andreas is feeding the cats in the shelter still provided by the ruins and resources still provided by the convent and the town, and really getting as innovative and accurate as he wants with his art, painted Over the preexisting murals....mein gott. who up penting they ment. i think it's great that just being nice to this kid isn't "guaranteed" [and that saved him from life, including his own choices, and death] b/c that's Never guaranteed, as per a game Illustrating the depth and breadth of actual life and actual people via a set story and set characters, you can save him from death, but with the death of other possibilities in life, and whatever may now happen to him that you don't see and really cannot even try to control the outcome of....

TL;DR great that the game challenges any player's route to desired / "Correct" outcomes by setting up [something happened even though you didn't see it] about andreas, wherein judging a seemingly uncaring (in)action will readily lead to assumptions that are far from The Truth, and where trying to support Your child figure (through andreas) in caspar, whether during the initial run or in revisiting it differently, you don't have an option to just fully Save him despite all your best intentions and efforts. lord the pentymenty of it all

[vergess]

i'm sorry that you're having such a bad time wrt another tumblr book club :(

I was going to put on a tough face, but actually I'm really not handling it well at all. I keep having violent panics in between dissociative fits.

But more than anything, I'm so fucking mad at myself for having allowed myself the foolishness of vulnerability. For the audacious imbecility of hope.

Because I knew this was coming.

Sherlock Holmes attracts only the worst kind of Literary Intellectual (TM). But I still hoped.

And when I saw that post this morning, do you know what I thought actually? "Oh, finally! I've been waiting for someone to bring it up. It seemed overdue. I'm glad we're going to talk about it now!"

That's why I dared to bare my dumb stupid fucking soul like that, like a moron. Like an idiot. To fucking show my weak spot and say, "go ahead, goyim, here's the target!"

Because I really thought the fandom was going to talk about it.

I trusted us.

Them.

I thought about them as an us that could be trusted to talk to as peers about a difficult subject.

You know. The way the Dracula Daily fandom talked about the anti-Romani bigotry, phrenology, xenophobia.

The way the 80 days fandom talked about the various forms of racist and colonialist messaging pervasive throughout.

The way the Whale Weekly fandom continues to talk about. Ooof. Allll of that.

I thought we were going to talk.

In the way that had been established as the norm for these books.

But instead, just. Just an avalanche of some of the most obscene shit. A lot of it gleefully posted in public, masks fully off.

People calling jews too stupid too read. Calling us censors. Saying we're attacking and harassing gentiles by acknowledging that the fucking source material is antisemitic, a fact the goddamned gentiles themselves also openly acknowledge.

But we're hurt by it. And we're expressing that pain. So I guess that makes us the villains.

You know, Shakespeare wrote plenty of antisemitic stereotypes himself, but uh. He had this tendency to, see, also make his characters very fully realized and give them elegantly spoken motivations. So elegant, in fact, that many people forget the first lines are ours.

I am a Jew. Hath not a Jew eyes? Hath not a Jew hands, organs, dimensions, senses, affections, passions; fed with the same food, hurt with the same weapons, subject to the same diseases, heal'd by the same means, warm'd and cool'd by the same winter and summer, as a Christian is? If you prick us, do we not bleed? If you tickle us, do we not laugh? If you poison us, do we not die? And if you wrong us, do we not revenge? If we are like you in the rest, we will resemble you in that.

Oh, but I forget my place in the hierarchy of this noble English Literary Canon.

#little baby birds expecting already digested literature to be vomited in their mouths

Jews are just dumb animals.

My bad, y'all. My bad.

[kyidyl]

I was reading this article and was wondering if you had just...rando boxes of bones that you were taught with. Were they labeled at all? Did you wonder where they came from? This is stemming from an article at MSNBC about a Berkley's professor's hesitation to return Native American remains because basically the bone collection (majority unlabeled) they have is a small percentage of donations and the rest were admittedly stolen.

Congrats, you have secretly unlocked something I have Thoughts (TM) on, lol.

Firstly, if anyone is wondering, here's the article. I actually saw it right before coming to Tumblr when I got up bc someone had posted it in one of the bioanth groups I'm in.

The short answer here is: for undergrad, no, I didn't because most colleges in the US don't have collections of human remains. We just used bone clones. And in grad school yes, I did, but I went to grad school in the UK and we knew where they came from bc we'd (and previous classes) excavated them ourselves from the Poulton churchyard. You can read more about the dig here. The UK obviously is a much different set of circumstances than the US.

Bone collections are not just random assemblages of bones. They're meticulously sorted, labeled, and categorized whenever that is possible. And when the remains are comingled (mixed together), the reason is that we don't know whose bones are whose and we don't want to like....put one person's humerus with another person's femur. Unless the bones are articulated (joined in the position they exist in the skeleton), it's exceedingly difficult to tell which bones go to which individual without a DNA test. DNA tests are difficult to do on historical remains in the post cranial skeleton, they're expensive, and most tribes don't like it when we do them. It isn't feasible for a university to DNA test every one of hundreds of comingled bones, so they leave them together. It's better to have more than one person in a box together than it is to have the wrong parts to an actual, human person stuck together as if they're the same person. That's incredibly disrespectful. And, yes, they're often stored in cardboard but like...it's not because that's what was laying around, it's because it's a good storage method and it's cheap. Like they make special boxes.

Bone collections across the world are a very, very thorny subject. I can tell you that as a student handling human bone was an absolutely vital part of my education and without it I'd have a MUCH harder time sorting human from animal. Bone collections are an important teaching tool, but I also think those skills aren't skills undergrads need to have because most of them aren't going to be digging up human remains.

In the US a lot of bone collections are actually not Native American. A lot of them are, but a good deal of them aren't. Not that they're necessarily more ethically sourced - I'll get to that in a bit - but they're not Native American. But we're talking about Berkley and theirs are NA.

If you read the article (general you to anyone reading this, not you nonny.), it mentioned that when NAGPRA came into effect a few decades ago any institution that takes gov't money - which is basically all of them - was required to disclose and notify the tribes that they had remains. From there it was on the tribes to decide what they wanted to do with them.

And this is where tumblr would say "that's not good enough, just give them back". Thing is guys, some groups don't want them back. I know it sounds wrong, but I want you to know that not every culture is as attached to their ancestor's remains, and they're not just pretending they don't want them bc they're afraid of consequences from colonizers. Let me give you an example. This is an article about a set of remains found in Ethiopia that was excavated by two of my professors in undergrad. The optics of this are: a bunch of white people went to Ethiopia, dug up a skeleton, and took it home to start testing it for stuff. What that surface read doesn't tell you is that those two professors - John Arthur and Kathy Weedman-Arthur - have been working with the local Gamo people for almost 30 years at this point. They have friends there, they speak the language fluently, Dr. Kathy has been spending years helping them create a written version of their language so that they can tell their own stories in their own language to the world. They *want* to do this. And they also don't consider anyone not in their burial forest to be Gamo. It doesn't matter if they clearly are from an outside genetic look, they aren't Gamo if they're not in the forest and they don't care what happens to the remains. And in the US, some native groups don't care what happens to the mortal remains of their ancestors. You (general) don't get to decide that for them how they feel about it, even if you think it's wrong. And I can tell you 100% if no one cares, scientists are going to keep the remains. There are also often issues with figuring out who to repatriate the remains TO. Colonizers re-burying them with the wrong funeral rites is, IMO, just as bad. Plus the natives like to re-inter them in places that aren't told to outsiders so they can't be retrieved.

But, obviously, the groups dealing with Berkley DO care and so the remains should be repatriated if they are Native American. It's pretty easy to tell if a, you know where they came from bc you dug them up (like Berkley) or b, the markers on the skeleton and the context are Native American. And here's where we come up against another problem: a lot of medical specimens in the US come from grave robbers in India and other Asian countries. It was, for awhile, a huge industry over there. People would sell their relatives remains, or grave rob and sell them to companies that will sell them overseas. There are still ethical complications here, and if anyone tries to sell you "ethically sourced" human remains they're lying *coughjonsbonescough*. It's impossible for an individual in the US to have an ethically sourced set of remains unless those remains were directly gifted to them from the family of the deceased. That definitely happens on the medical or university level - people leave their bodies to science - but not on the individual level. Thing is though that Asians have the same skeletal markers as Native Americans. East Asians, South Asians, doesn't matter. I'm using the generalized Asia on purpose. You will find shovel incisors or extra cranial sutures on the vast majority of Asians and Native Americans bc they're related. So if you've got a collection of bones of uncertain origin it's impossible to tell the source without DNA tests, and even if you did those tests it would be impossible to repatriate the Asian ones bc Asia is huge.

But again, that's not the case with Berkley. They know that most of those bones were excavated and that professor doesn't want to give them back. I can tell you know he's going to lose that fight. Because a, the article says they've removed him as the liaison and person responsible for the bones and b, Kennewick man. There is now legal, genetic precedent for remains in a given area to be directly related to the natives living in that area. So I'm like 99% sure Berkley will be giving up all of the bones that they know are Native American. And the vast majority of archaeologists and anthropologists agree with the repatriation of those remains. A lot of people have native remains that were grandfathered in for one reason or another, and they still don't keep them because it's more than clear that a good relationship with the natives leads to us doing better science.

Some people feel that bone collections are unethical in and of themselves, but I disagree. I think that, especially in places like Europe where the remains are more likely to belong to the community they exist in, there are ethical ways to build bone collections. The truth of it is that there's orders of magnitude more dead people than live ones, and if the community doesn't care, why NOT use them for education? Honestly I'd like to be donated to science and I'd be sad if my bones *weren't* used to teach other students to do the thing I love. Like that seems like an awesome use of something that would otherwise go to waste. Human remains are only as holy as the culture they belong to believes they are. Otherwise, they're biological material same as any other animal.

Anyway yeah...hope that gave you more of an insight into what's going on there, and I love answering these types of questions, lol.

[uboat53]

There's been a lot of talk about the turmoil over the new judicial "reforms" that were just enacted in Israel, but what I haven't seen a lot of is an explanation how the Israeli far-right is enacting one of the most terrible lessons of the Holocaust.

Let me explain, SHORT RANT (TM) time.

INTRODUCTION

The Holocaust was one of the worst crimes of the 20th century, executed against the Jews among other races and peoples (including, but not limited to, the Romani, the handicapped, and LGBT people). One thing that can be learned, though, is how various forms of governance affected the outcomes.

WHERE WAS THE FINAL SOLUTION MOST EFFECTIVE?

The Final Solution, the extermination of Jews, among others, was carried out by the Third Reich, the Nazi Regime of Germany, which ruled between 1933 and 1945. One might expect, therefore, that Germany itself would see the highest percentage of Jews killed, but one would be wrong.

In fact, Germany saw 70% of its early 1940s population of Jews killed. This is a high number, but it's significantly lower than the 90% of Poland's pre-war Jewish population or the approximately 90% of the pre-war Balkan Jewish population who were killed.

Meanwhile, if you look west, you see much lower numbers. Only a 22% of France's pre-war Jewish population, 27% of Belgium's, 24% of Luxembourg's, and 1%-2% of Denmark's were killed by 1945. [1]

WHAT EXPLAINS THIS?

If you look carefully, one pattern becomes clear. Regions which were governed as Reichskommissariat [2], effectively under military rule, have much higher death rates among their Jewish population while areas which were effectively managed under nominal civilian governance, often as puppet states, have lower death rates.

This has a strong relationship to the rule of law. The law under Nazi rule may have been perverse, but the processes and procedures required in order to enforce that law provided important protections for the people who lived under it.

In the Reichkommissariat regions, there was no law or procedure to stand in the way of the Final Solution. Rather than having to work through the judicial process to corral and then export Jews to concentration camps, SS soldiers were simply able to go house to house, village to village, and murder Jews as they came across them; a much more efficient method that made it more difficult for Jews to escape and sympathizers to help them.

SO, ISRAEL?

Yep, Israel, the country formed in the wake of the Holocaust with the cry of "never again!" Yet Israel has always been split between its identities as a liberal democracy, promising freedom and equality for all, and its status as a state explicitly for the Jewish people. It has also grappled with, and continues to grapple with one particular problem in its founding; that there were already people on the land that they wanted.

Today, all of those struggles also exist with a continuing drive among Israelis of the far-right to colonize and conquer the occupied territory of the West Bank and expel or otherwise drive off the existing population of Palestinians.

THE ULTIMATE JEWISH SPLIT

Many of you probably already know that I am Jewish, by birth though not religion. As such, and because I'm also German, I was raised with an intimate awareness of the Holocaust and, in Jewish spaces, this event is still much discussed. Once you engage in that discussion, however, it can quickly become clear that there is a huge split between two different groups of Jews; those that believe that the Holocaust was wrong because genocide is wrong, and those who believe that the Holocaust was wrong because it happened to the Jews.

I think it's fair to say that those differing views of morality would drastically change how you approach the history of the Holocaust. Someone who believes that genocide is definitively wrong in all cases would only study the Nazis in order to prevent a repeat of the Holocaust while someone who believes that it was only wrong because it happened to them might be willing to study their tactics in order to use them on others.

THE RULE OF LAW

What we're seeing in Israel is a wholesale effort by the far-right religious and settler movements to dismantle the rule of law [3]. Netanyahu, the Prime Minister, is going along with this because he believes it will allow him to avoid accountability for the numerous crimes he's been accused of, but the far-right political parties he's allied with have been very clear that they believe that the rule of law is preventing them from carrying out what any reasonable person would agree are atrocities.

They've learned from the Holocaust in the worst possible way, and every Jew should be horrified.

[1], [2], [3]

[thecatsaesthetics]

I saw someone on twitter discussing Rhaegar, and other problematic elements of the series, and they basically said GRRM had no idea what trash Rhaegar was in the 90s when he first came up with the character but he probably is now aware of how awful literally everyone (except the targ stans) think Rhaegar is so when/if he ever gets to the part of the series where Martin explains the relationship he will have to do some serious damage control to 'fix' R/L.

They also said, which I fully agree with, that because he's taken 30 years to finish this series, social mores and cultural norms have shifted so much that a lot of plot points and characterizations he was probably planning are now deeply, deeply problematic whereas back in the 90s, the fantasy-reader audience the books were originally marketed towards would not have cared. Like you said, the post-me too era has brought forth a lot more awareness about grooming, age gaps, power imbalances, etc. I definitely think one of the reasons its difficult to finish the series is because GRRM is now aware of certain plot points he has been planning no longer being palatable and knowing he would get crucified for if he went forward with them. Like San/san was definitely something that was meant to be more romantic or sexual but the ages of the characters, lack of five year gap, and knowing people would rage at him if he made San/san canon in anyway means that romantic ship is over imo lol. Sa/ndor's love for Sa/nsa will be a lot more platonic and self-sacrificial going forward as opposed to romantic undertones.

For R/L though, I do wonder if GRRM telling HOTD writers to include the ice and fire prophecy in the show means that he will lean way more heavily into 'Well, ackshually, Rhaegar was saving the world it wasn't about wanting to fuck a teen he became infatuated with. Also, Elia was chill with it because Dornish(tm).' Basically, I can see Martin leaning way more heavily toward Rhaegar doing what he did to save humanity versus him not being able to keep it in his pants. But we'll see if/when the series is ever completed, which is a big if.

Sorry this is so long I'm putting it underneath:

I do agree that Martin came up with this series in the 90s and did not expect it to become such a cultural landmark. I am not sure he agrees Rhaegar is "awful" as Martin has said and done things within his book series that make me believe he does not see much wrong with a 16 year old running off with a 23 year old. I do think he always intended to add the magically bits in the story with Rhaegar and Lyanna but that they were suppose to be look at as the human incarnations of Ice and Fire and Jon being the offspring of that magic.

And even if Martin did realize after much discussion how problematic the Lyanna and Rhaegar situation is I don't think he would change it. The unfortunate truth is they are fundamental to the story. Not in a way where we need to see them, but they are similar to Paris and Helen. Without their actions the story doesn't exist, and without Rhaegar and Lyanna running off the story does not happen. Our world is reset.

And the book has expanded so much, including a list of characters Martin never intended for us to see, that it makes us really resent both Lyanna and Rhaegar as readers. All the while the narrative itself does not seem to be aware of how horrible the actions of them (especially Rhaegar) is. Adding the Aegon storyline in the book and if he doesn't turn out to be a fake and does end up dead and Jon ends up somehow having a "happy" ending it feels super insulting to Elia and the rest of the characters who suffered due to Rhaegar and Lyanna's actions.

The inclusion of the Ice and Fire prophecy in HOTD had nothing to do with Martin and more to do with the HOTD writers wanting to include a reason for why Viserys was choosing Rhaenyra. In the books Viserys is just a shitty king and has no reason at all for not naming Aegon after his birth. In the show it's hinted he believes the Ice and Fire prophecy would only be fulfilled under Rhaenyra's line.

As for what Martin will do with Elia, I really am not sure but he has said he will make it "complicated". I tend to think he wouldn't make Elia "okay" with it but he might have a situation where Elia believes her son is the Prince that was Promised and wants him to have his "Visenya". But I'm not sold on that just because I don't think Rhaegar would use Lyanna to get a Visenya, he would likely assume the child from Lyanna was the Prince that was Promised simply because of the "ice" connection.

But on the topic of why Martin hasn't finished the series. I have several thoughts:

 First, he's written himself into a nightmare. If you read A Feast for Crows and A Dance with Dragons, they are interesting but they expand the plot in a way I've never seen done before. For any type of novel. He has multiple POVs with incredibly complex and interesting storylines, most of which aren't connected to the main plot. I don't know how he's going to handle closing all of those storylines within two books. I love Feast and Dance so much but as a writer I cannot image having to close all of those storylines.

Second, GOT took up so much time. In the first years GOT was airing Martin did a lot of media for the show, cons, and even wrote a whole episode up until season 5. That's a lot of work and it doesn't leave a lot of time to write and complete the story. Also once it became clear Martin wouldn't even complete Winds before the show closed I don't think he had the same motivation to write faster. Why not take his time? Plus D&D had clearly branched out from all the book storylines by season 4.

Third, the reaction to the ending of GOT (which were his intended endings) must have hurt. I cannot image a world where you as the writer of this series see people reacting so poorly to your intended ending (even if D&D butchered it) would not feel at least disappointment. People hated Villain Dany and her death (does matter if I love fallen Dany) and I 100% believe he's going there in the next book. He might be worried or concerned about the reaction. Martin has admitted that seeing fans discuss the series and figuring out things have made him want to change course. And that was back when the series was limited to forum discussions online. He had major news outlets discussing how "awful" Dany's ending was. That likely affected him and his writing.

[oennpellmell]

Thinking of bus driver, it reminds me of when I was taking the bus to school, the private company handling the bus pick up would only give us one bus to collect kids in about 6 towns before heading to our school. I was at the last stop and there was never enough seats for all of us. Imagine a bus for 30 seating but with the double amount of kids inside, in the "Japanese subway during rush hour" style. That packed. We would tuck ourselves wherever we could, having to push our way in, because there was not enough space for us nor anything for those standing up to hold on to. Making the ride extremely dangerous. once all seats were taken, we only had the main corridor and the stairs to be, so 35 kids in there, walking on each other without any safety, was a disaster to come. Not to mention, the driver would yelled for blocking the doors, while technically the fact that 6 kids had to tuck themselves in each stairs section should have been a sign that something was wrong. At school, we were pretty (in)famous, because of how jammed the bus was when we arrived, compare to the other buses, we had to hide we were from that bus, because of how ridiculous it looked. We eventually complained to our parents, who called the company to request they put two bus for the collect. A couple morning later, I arrived at my bus stop and there was this old bald dude waiting there, smoking angrily, his car parked a bit further away. The bus arrived, as usual, full to the bream with around 75 kids that were standing were they could, with 4 already in the front stairs area. The doors opened and my sibling and I tried to push our way in, wish was extremely difficult without, you know, walking on each other. Then out of nowhere, the bald dude came from behind us and started pushing us in, almost making me fall in the stairs, yelling at us: "See you can go in! You have enough room in this fucking bus, you brat. Stop complaining and lie to your parents!" If you have seen these movies where the animals wait in silence around their prey just before the camera pans off to only let you guess from the noise what is happening off screen, you will have a pretty vivid image of how all of us looked at that man, in complete murderous silence... Even the bus driver. That waste of cells was the husband of the bus company owner. Apparently, she was so pissed that our parents complained that she sent her husband to "put back some sense" in us. In the worst and most unprofessional way possible... by bullying us. Well this joke of a human, who though he could intimidate a bunch of kids realized quickly that 75 pissed teenagers aren't easily "put in their place", especially when they are in their right, and already angry from being drove around like cattles. I saw that man's face, which is the equivalent of any petulant roach pretending to be an alpha male, all chest puffed up to look more threatening, deflated like a balloon when the entire bus stared at him. He looked at my 12 years old ass, probably looking for the weakest one to reaffirm his confidence, suddenly not so sure of himself as the realization that he messed up slowly crumbling his tough guy act, while I helped the girl that fell with me up, without breaking eye contact with him. I don't know how it came to me, but I suddenly offered him to join us for the ride and see for himself. That is when I grasped a point of fear in his eyes, just before the driver closed the doors, probably to avoid a bloodshed, not from me but the entire bus as several other kids had stood up. The funny part is I heard him say a pathetic "Yeah! (That's right TM)" as the doors shut, trying probably to make himself believe that he was completely in control and got us good. We left, all of us glaring at him through the windows until he was too far to be seen. Evidentially, this incident did go under the rug, as I remember my parents being pretty pissed to learn that the husband of the bus company owner tried to rough us up like some gangster in a noir movie. Two days later we got our second bus.

fondly remembering that time I was working as a cashier when I was 19-20 and my former bus driver and his wife came through. He says to me "Hey, you look familiar" and I reply "Yes, I was one of the bus kids you drove, specifically the one you screamed at and threatened to ban from the bus and make walk home because I was crying out in pain while the other kids were ripping huge chunks of hair out of my head but you did nothing about them." and his wife slowly looked at him like this

[the-friendliest-freak]

Autistic/ADHD Wolverine Headcanons

These can be taken for most Wolverines, except for a few which are based on specific versions

HATES loud noises. Hates em. Has asked Beast to fit his mask with mufflers multiple times so he doesn’t have to cover his ears every time a car explodes or siren goes off

Smooth foods are the devil. He really despises anything that isn’t chewy, which is why he usually eats meat.

Special interests include histoy, mostly stuff to do with ancient cultures. Will talk your ear off about feudal Japan, don’t you worry

Cyclops pisses him off because he never bothers to say what he means, and Wolverine really struggles trying to articulate this. E.g. Cyclops tells Wolverine to “deal” with a threat, intending for Wolverine to just knock them out, Wolverine misunderstands this because Cyke didn’t tell him what to do at all, ends up doing the wrong thing, gets yelled at, rinse your hands and repeat

Loves saying “snikt” as a stim. However, due to societal pressures, he smokes instead to get a similar effect.

Only uses one brand of cigar consistently. If someone offers one, he’ll take it because it’s better than nothing, but he won’t buy any other kind other than the one he has. Is it old? Yes. Is it not even that good? Yes. But it’s routine.

Wolverine and the X-Men centred: Emma Frost slowly realised Wolverine was on the spectrum, and started treating him the same way she would one of her neurodivergent students, but still with the respect she would give an adult (and the no-shit-taken attitude she has with him). Wolverine didn’t know why Emma was suddenly so interested in trying to ‘get’ him, and after confronting her proceeded to flip his entire fuck when she told him why. He didn’t hit her, it was barely even directed at her. He just angrily stammered for five minutes and rambled to the ceiling while pacing back and forth before going away for two days. Emma and Logan then proceeded to have little sessions where she would teach him the coping mechanisms she had taught her own students

He also has a bad habit of eating his own cigars whenever he’s stressed. He’ll be chewing on it, thinking about something, and then suddenly whoopsie-doodle it’s gone and now his throat tingles. Sometimes he does it intentionally, much to the disgust of the other X-Men.

Scratches himself a lot. It’s both a stim and a nervous tic from the adamantium transfer, where he, for days after, would constantly itch and claw at his skin to try and alleviate the painful sensations

Wolverine also tends to gnaw at himself. Due to his healing factor, evidence of this is difficult to find, but he’ll randomly bite at his own skin until it bleeds, sometimes seeming unaware of the fact he’s doing it

Ok last stimming one: his dog tags. They’re his comfort item and a stim. He’ll fiddle with them when he’s anxious, and sometimes he’ll even chew on them. The latter is incredibly easy to notice despite him having his hand over his mouth to not arouse suspicion, due to the sound of metal grinding against metal

This one is more centred on the movies, specifically Origins: only Sabretooth knows. He knew Logan was diagnosed with something when they were young, and later found out it was likely some form of neurodivergence that no one in the 1800s really knew about. When they were younger, Logan got really attached to Creed since Creed would explain things to him in a blunt manner, which was a far cry from and much easier to understand than the flowery language of everyone around him

Goes non verbal a heck ton, usually only talking in grunts and growls. He isn’t intentionally trying to be rude, but he’s stopped caring wether or not people think he is.

Has a habit of suddenly jerking back his neck or cracking his knuckles pretty aggressively mid-conversation surely for the Sensory GoodnessTM

Loves rain. And I mean loves rain. He always acts really chill whenever it’s raining outside, since the noise is calming to him. Thunder and lightning spook him, though he won’t admit it

He was scared absolutely shitless when he first saw fireworks. Half was because of war flashbacks, the other was IT’S TOO DAMN LOUD

Got the word “bub” off of Alpha Flight. When any member would say it, he’d repeat it over and over again under his breath. The word just feels good.

Would rather just…not talk. At all. It’s one of the few benefits he sees to being friends with telepaths - he doesn’t NEED to talk to them.

On rare occasions, when he does talk, it sounds completely incomprehensible. It usually ends with him getting incredibly frustrated since no one can understand what he’s saying

Hates malls. The noises, the smells, the stupid stupid LIGHTS- it’s all awful. He has had a meltdown inside of one; it ended with him curled up in a ball inside a clothes rack, practically pulling at his hair with his eyes screwed shut. The X-Men that came with him - Storm, Rogue, and Jubilee - were looking for him for hours. It took them a good few minutes to coax him out, since it was like he couldn’t hear them. Xavier was furious at Wolverine’s “immature behaviour in a public place” and decided sensory overload training would have to be added to the Danger Room’s capabilities. (Because Charles is an asshole)

I’ll add more later I dunno

[ccaptain]

btw kaeya getting uncomfortable and pissed about the treatment of certaint people from the citizen of mondstadt is a thing that happened on this blog. he was ALL happy to have dropped his origins and to have family in mondstadt until he saw Things (tm) with his own eye. to name a few:

diona, eula, jean and barbara specifically the first two

diona: she's a child... serving in a pub... underage working anyone? no? letting a literal kid handle alcohol? and being super chipper and casual about it and even flaunting that y'all do child labor in a pub? you know... letting a child who has an alcoholic father and also visible trauma and hatred around alcohol SERVE drunk people? having her hang around drunk old people? what could go wrong with that? also letting ADULTS harass her for her cat bits????????????? pulling on her tail/ears???????? what the FUCK, GUYS? nobody does anything to help her??????????? jesus that poor kid

eula: someone from a clan with an horrid past comes, without ever showing an HINT of wanting to be like her clan members, and she's immediately isolated without even a chance to prove herself right. that. that's ostracization. people wouldn't even sell her stuff to eat until she became one of the knights and they STILL treat her like pure shit. makes kaeya question how he would be treated if he ever came clean to the city and he's not so keen on doing that anymore. trust broken in this city something unreal. if they treat EULA, who wants to repent and avenge the fame of her clan, what would they do to a traitor from a godless land? the implicite possibilities are terrifying

jean: someone breaks a fucking pinky toe nail and immediately SCREAMS for JEAN. these people are overworking her to the bone and as much as kaeya HATES working he takes as much load as he can off jeans shoulder and it still isn't enough because people come at her with the stupidest requests. it isn't the first time kaeya gets this - - close to snapping at someone because they lost a fucking PIN and cried for jeans help when she has to UUUHHHHHH do better things than to help with mundane problems????? she has to be a diplomat too and handle the fatui in mondstadt along with him and she can't do it to the best of her abilities if she's exhausted with mundane requests. he's protective of his Anemo Mom and seeing the townsfolk abuse their own acting grand master until she collapses makes him want to growl at them to step off. contemplates smacking someone around for a couple of hours just to feel better. JEAN IS HIS CHILDHOOD FRIEND FOR FUCKS SAKE HE WANTS HER TO B OKAY AND REST

barbara: WHY HAS NOBODY THROWN ALBERT OUT OF THE CITY? HE STALKS HER EVERYWHERE? BITCH WE LITERALLY SEE IT IN HER HANGOUT EVEN IF HE PICKS WOLFHOOKS FOR HER HE JUST INCONVENIENCES HER AND SHE HAD TO SPEND MORE TIME IN A RISKY PLACE FULL OF WOLVES BC HE MADE THINGS MORE DIFFICULT FOR HER? HOW IS THAT ALLOWED? WHY IS NOBODY DOING ANYTHING ABOUT IT WHEN BARBARA IS VISIBLY UNCOMFORTABLE AND SCARED??????? has probably sicced (aka paid with drinks) rosaria to be barbaras bodyguard when he's truly unbearable. somebody had to diffuse the situation between him and albert multiple times where he suavely suggested that hed benefit from spending time in jail with this .) expression, looking terrifying. he remembers barbara as a lil tiny wee girl clinging to jeans gown and his protective instinct flare up. he hung out with her and held her hand a lot as a kid and has a lot of respect for her but finds her tolerance of the bullshit she's subjected as an idol a little too high tbh

you know... when you're attached to a city who welcomed and grew you it's hard to see the bad bits but when you do it hits you like a truck. kaeya sees a city of drunk and lazy people ostracize/harass others unpunished and he's just like "i need to revolution this city" and he realizes that he can't do it because this is how things have always been. if he pushes the citizens too hard hell also be distrusted and if he doesn't push too much it doesn't look like he cares and he's going to also be distrusted. he went from loving this city to not know where he stands and if he even wants to be here. the city has so many flaws, including an absentee god that can be found drunk in taverns, and people are incredibly selfish, two faced and hypocrites. that hit him so hard. he's so disillusioned with people it's unreal, it bittered him quite some

[fruitcoops]

Hey Eve! So first of all I wanted to say that I really love how you write arguments- even during escalations, I still respect the characters because you handle the arguments so well. This is kinda silly but I have a friend who I feel like isn't putting time into our friendship and I'm always asking her to hang out, so I feel a bit unwanted by her. Would you be willing to write a fic with that general premise? Idc the characters but your fics help me so much with having difficult conversations

Thank you! I’m sorry you’re going through that with your friend; in my experience, that is one of the worst feelings in the world and I wish you the best with them.

To the anon struggling with their acne that requested Leo and Reg: you are beautiful no matter what <3

SW belongs to @lumosinlove! TW for acne, mild pain, and lack of communication

Regulus’ phone pinged and his heart did its best to make an escape via his throat.

New Message From: Leo Knut

Are you on your way?

It was preceded by six other messages, most with the same general theme. Regulus shoved it back into his hoodie pocket and sank lower into the mattress, wincing as his cheek brushed the pillow. He had never thought acne would be painful, but it had been growing steadily worse over the past week and he could only reschedule plans so many times.

Message To: Leo Knut

Can’t make it

Sorry

See you tm?

Three dots appeared below, then disappeared. They lingered longer the second time.

Message From: Leo Knut

K

“Shit,” Regulus muttered, feeling guilt twist in his guts. He had been so ready to go that morning—it was just acne, after all—but one too-long glance in the mirror had sent everything crashing down. He couldn’t go outside looking like that. He just couldn’t. It was embarrassing, and painful, and he looked like a fourteen-year-old kid going through puberty all over again.

Someone knocked on the door. “Regulus? Are you awake?”

“Oui.”

The door opened a crack and Dumo poked his head in with a frown. “Aren’t you supposed to meet Leo this morning?”

“I’m sick,” he lied. Dumo laid the back of his hand over Regulus’ forehead and squinted at him in the darkness with a hum. “I already let him know I wouldn’t be there.”

“You look fine to me,” Dumo said, clearly suspicious as he sat at the foot of the bed. “What’s wrong?”

“Just stuff.”

“Just…stuff?”

“Yeah.”

“What kind of stuff?”

“Embarrassing stuff.”

Dumo raised his eyebrows. “Can we talk about it? You’ve been avoiding Leo for the past week, and from what I hear, he’s pretty bummed.”

“It’s stupid,” Regulus mumbled, turning on his side despite the sharp pain from the red spots on his face.

“It’s not,” Dumo said gently, resting a hand on his shoulder. “Not if it makes you this upset.”

“How do I—” Regulus faltered, pressing his lips together. He took a deep breath. “How do I get rid of acne?”

The words came out in a rush; he didn’t expect Dumo to catch any of it, but he simply made a noise of understanding. “If you weren’t the most hygienic person that has ever lived in this house, I would suggest washing your face. It’s different from person to person, but all your brother had to do was outgrow it, so I wouldn’t be surprised if it was similar with you.”

“So I just have to sit here and wait?” Frustration bled into his voice and he scowled, holding the pillow tighter.

“You can still do the things you like, Regulus.”

“I look stupid.”

“No, you don’t.”

“It’s gross.”

“It’s not.”

“How do you know?” he snapped. The guilty feeling returned with a vengeance and he tucked his legs up closer to his body. “Sorry.”

“Everyone gets acne. You just have do decide what you’re going to do in the meantime.” There was a light nudge to the middle of his back. “I suggest putting a shirt and some real pants on, and then meeting up with your friend like you said you would, oui?”

Regulus sighed through his nose. “I guess. These are real pants, by the way.”

“Sweats don’t count. Allez, petit serpent, Leo is waiting.”

Regulus dragged himself out of bed and splashed some water on his face—rubbing soap onto his skin was way too painful at the moment—before changing into real-people clothes and sliding his shoes on.

Message To: Leo Knut

Change of plans

DQ?

He waited in silence for what felt like a lifetime before three dots popped up.

Message From: Leo Knut

See you in ten

A pause, and then a simple <3. Regulus smiled.

--------------------------------

“So.” Leo licked a drip off the base of his cone and laid back against the windshield, letting his head loll to the side as he cocked an eyebrow. “What happened?”

“My face feels fucking awful, dude.” Regulus hummed around the spoonful of minty blizzard for a second. “Being a teenager is the worst thing ever.”

Leo snorted. “We’re not technically teenagers anymore.”

“Still.” He hesitated, then knocked their elbows together. “I’m really sorry, by the way.”

“For?” Leo avoided his gaze and went back to his ice cream.

Regulus chewed the inside of his lip before answering. “The last week of avoiding you. I didn’t want to go out looking like this, but that was such a shitty thing to do to you.”

“It was. Apology accepted.” Leo glanced over and flicked his bicep. “Of everyone you know, I’m literally the last person who would judge you for that. Other things, absolutely, but not acne.”

“I know,” Regulus said quietly.

“Next time that happens, will you at least tell me what’s going on?” His blue eyes turned sad. “I was worried something really bad happened.”

“It won’t happen again,” Regulus promised, and he meant it. They sat in silence on the hood of the car with their ice cream for a while, pointing out weird-shaped clouds with various hums of approval; he wondered how he ever thought staying away from his best friend would make things better. “Hey.”

“Hmm?”

“Wanna see a tiktok of a duck I saw the other day? Made me think of you.”

A smile flickered over Leo’s face, then came out full force as he scooted closer. “Of course I do.”

[luimagines]

I am not a writer. Nor am I a person who posts stuff online,if at all rarely. But I am capable of typing and I am legally allowed to say that I have won a high school writing contest in my 3rd period English class in Sophomore year.I am still,what they call,VERY RUSTY.Take that as you may,but never in my life have I read an anonymous ask that has made me be burts into a desire to want to write down a bunch of story ideas of a dream that stranger had and then share it to another stranger online, to reply to publicly to about 100 more other strangers online. But none the less I STILL want to share to you sone of my--headcanons??--ideas??--bullshit dream story plotline??--(idk)-- I'll try to keep it limited because i don't want you to end up reading a rant novel-

I like to think that this //reader link? I'll just use y/n as a stand in i guess for this character or reader ??sorry if you dont like it,you can change it if you want?//before meeting The Chain Links *tm,she use to have a lot of problems being a #femaleheroinduringmediaveltimes but not in a way that most might see?I don't believe she would have really care for other people's opinions on the matter because she sees it as something very trivial and people will alway find a reason to look down on you and she also wasn't exactly let off easy for it during her training to be the hero of her kingdom.Even if she didn't want it,she was already destined and chosen for this path regardless of any possible sexist belief anyone had to offer.Her being the destined hero and needing to be strong enough to fight against Ganon was the utmost important thing on the to-do list,So bullshit like that was not accepted and they made sure it was in grain into her brain.

"Don't believe your enemies will ever go easy on you no matter what you are".

Most of the problems she would struggle as female I think ,would be on more on the biological side of things,for example like getting her period but being forced to have to truck though them anyways because she was a hero and it meant that you couldn't just take time off from your responsibilities and duty as Hyrule's saviour "just for some bad cramps" when you have lives to be saving and a world that needs to be protecting.So she would just not show any sign of complaint to the others about it or even let alone tell them about it and it just always seemed like from the outside that she would randomly just get super quiet and little withdrawn for no reason every month or so with a sort of tired/vacant look in their eyes?Anon also mentioned them having more of a military knight background and assuming she had been trained to or at least has lead troops into war/battle before,she could definitely be one of the teams best strategist along side with Warrior Link.I can definitely see them getting closer because of this as they're usually chipping in plans together and coming up with ideas/plans with what the best ways to use everyone on the team's special skills for certain position/roles during possible future battles.But a little bit after the whole "river" scenario i can definitely see legend sort of yell at her like

"wtf you is a girl and did not tell??? eXPLANaTiOn?????" "Because i didn't think it mattered??" "iT DoSe MaTtEr! ThAtS a bIG tHiNg!!"

There would definitely be a bit of an intervention with everyone to talk about the issue from "before". Maybe some what after everyone had gotten redressed and suddenly didn't feel like bathing anymore. After that everyone seem...awkward. No one knew exactly how to continue on with the revelation,so they all just stayed quite.At first she mistook this as a sign that everyone handled it well,she tried to continue business as always.While everyone was packing up to head out,she'd suddenly feel everyone's eyes.... Looking at her. When she turned she everyone just minding their own business.Maybe it was all just in herhead.The rest of the walk seem almost dead quiet.The once cheer mood of chatter was now replaced with an awkward tension filled with only small side glances,little quiet whispering from behind and an inability to look her in the face when she tried chatting with anyone.Is this what it was going to be like from now on?No of course not.They wouldn't let something as trivial as this get in the way of their relationship,right?they were still friends,right?

If you have the ability to but the stories in your head into recorded words then that makes you a writer.

No, I will not take any criticism on this matter.

This is beautifully thought out and it was a joy to read. I had to read it out loud out of fear that I would miss something entirely but I'm glad I did.

I would imagine it to be difficult to be on her period simply because when you're traveling there's no supplies to help out or lessen the situation! No cotton, no pain killers, not a lot of hot water to begin with... And yeah, she wouldn't say anything about it because a soldier wouldn't have the time to take care of it, let alone a hero.

She would also be the most used to blood on her clothes out of the group I think at this point. Just takes it upon her self to clean their clothes because they never seem to be able to get all of it and they don't know what they're doing even if she were to tell them how.

The boys think it's some magic technique but no.... it's just experience.

But the reader here that you mentioned would have had good teachers for burning it into her brain that it doesn't matter what body she has or what other people say because she the hero. She was born for this and there's no pleasing any one anyway. the best way out of this is to do the job and make sure you can get out alive.

What I want of the last paragraph is for her to get a little mad and question what the hell s wrong with everyone and then for someone to reply that it would have been disrespectful to look without direct permission because she would have deserved better than that. Like, they're fine with each other because they all have the same parts so like no big deal, but for them so openly show her themselves, verses her being seen openly.

I think it'll be a mixed bag of them being embarrassed that they were seen and that they saw her.

I think the ones least effected by it would be Wind, Warrior and Hyrule. Hyrule, because there's no like no people in his world so he doesn't have the same perception as the others, verses Wind who would probably be weird in the beginning but promptly not think too much on it because he has a sister at home and would help her bath when she was younger, verses Tetra who has had multiple shirts torn in the middle of battle- so who cares?

I was originally going to put Warrior as one of the most effected but I've played the game.... There are so many female warriors so if they got hit in the boob and needed attention then you take care of it. no questions asked and you move on with your day end of story.

The most effected would probably be Time, Twilight and Sky.

Time and Sky because- holy cow, I have a significant other, what am I going to say if they find out I saw another naked woman? Nothing. That's what. I'm a dead man if they ever find out.

Twilight because he was raised with his respect woman juice for breakfast and would have gladly turned away and oh my god- my mom is not going to like that I just didn't do anything this entire time and she's going to think that I just stared like some degenerate and what do I do now?

I think this is a fun concept and I don't mind exploring it more, but I'm beginning to suspect that I'm going to need a tag for the dream saga aren't I?

[artpharos]

a couple of y'all have asked if i'm okay and uh

short answer? no, i've been kind of struggling with a depression flare up over the last few weeks and it's been really hard. i had to support someone and i'm not the one that's actually going through shit, but i'm just being affected because someone i'm close to is going through shit.

long answer? below cut because it is heavy shit and please mind the trigger warnings

so like i want to start this off by saying i spent most of last year trying to support a suicidal friend. this friend was suicidal most of last year and i felt like the onus was on me to constantly be there for them. even worse, they only ever vented by tweeting on the bird app instead of DM'ing me when they were feeling bad because their Trauma(tm) made it difficult for them to reach out when they needed to. and i think the final straw that broke me was when i tried to say something to help but i was already pouring on empty and they took it the wrong way and made it sound like they were going to kill themselves over something i said and disappeared for a few days before they came back. and like. i can't even begin to describe the rollercoaster of emotions i've been up and down the entire year and the paralysis and fear that everything i say might end up making things worse. the worst part? ever since i left them, they've been doing way better, and it's like... part of me always will wonder if it's because i'm no longer there to support them that they have to support themselves and that maybe i was the reason why they were suffering for so long. but i'm glad that they're doing better and that our distance allows us both to heal.

but then fast forward to maybe two weeks ago? i have another friend, also from another country, who i've been friends with for the past five years. this is someone i've met at vgc events, someone i've grown close to and who's been like my partner at vgc team events and a source of support. thing is, and i didn't know this for most of the time, they had been struggling with depression as well and it was really really hard for them. i can only contact them through twitter or discord since they're in another country, namely Australia, and truth be told I thought they had a strong enough support system that I didn't really need to step in and help when i was still healing from above paragraph.

but then about a month ago they broke up with their significant other and went into a depressive spiral ever since. not just about the breakup mind you, their life has been real shit because of Reasons. two weeks ago they OD'd on pills and at first I thought this was just a mistake? but no they intentionally tried to kill themselves. luckily their parents found them and got them to the hospital. so immediately i tried to help them out by spending time with them and it worked for a while like they'd feel okay the morning after our hangouts but then immediately spiral again towards the afternoon and it was really hard.

then two fridays ago, i woke up and saw that they tweeted that they were going to kill themselves that day. in fact they had tweeted that an hour before i woke up and i was terrified. they tweeted that they were going to a river to drown themselves and i went senseless trying to get them to talk to me, trying to get them to realize that there were people like me that cared about them. but no later they tweeted that they actually attempted to drown themselves but failed because drowning was hard and they were going home. and i thought okay that gave them time to cool down and they could reset and maybe i could get through to them right? but i was also terrified because unlike my first friend from a year ago, this friend made it all the way to actually attempting to kill themselves and i was absolutely horrified because i knew then that they had the will to end their own life and there was nothing i could do to stop it.

so when i went home that day i wrestled with wondering whether i should do something and i kept telling myself that they were safe and at home, but i decided to start reaching out to the aussie vgc community to see if anyone could check up on my friend and make sure they were okay. halfway through i saw another tweet from my friend that they were going to commit suicide at 1am and nobody was going to stop them. immediately their old mentor and i went into overdrive trying to find a way to stop them. in australia (and i hate that i know this knowledge because of my experiences with first friend) you can ask the police to call a wellness check on a person if you think they're in danger of suicide, but you need to have the person's address and we didn't even have my friend's phone number let alone their address. and we went frantic that night trying to find their phone number or their address, to the point that we were randomly calling house numbers of anyone with that last name to see if any of them was actually my friend. we even at one point tried to call the police just to see if they could just run a check on all the people with my friends' last name but the police didn't pick up because it was way past operating hours??? and this was a small rural town by the way so it wasn't as if there was anything we can do. i cried myself silly but eventually went back to sleep but set an alarm to see if my friend would respond or tweet more the next day.

the next day i woke up to see my friend had scheduled a tweet from 1am saying that they heard someone call their house and was super sus and scheduled this tweet because nobody would stop them and they were going to commit suicide. i went into panic and the mentor and i were freaking out over it because fuck that was several hours ago and i knew my friend had the will to do this and they were probably dead and i might have just lost someone i loved dearly and it was horrible, i can't even begin to describe the emotions i went through. the guilt and the fear and the 'could i have done something more' and 'why wasn't i there more for them' and the 'oh god the pain they must have went through'.

then my friend messaged me from the hospital and thankfully the police found them before they walked into traffic and they were safe and going to be sent to a mental institution and i was so happy they were safe! but i also swore i would do my best to support them because they fucking needed it and I'd do everything that I could do from another country to keep them safe and happy.

i talked to them a lot, because they felt that they had ostracized their support system and had nobody else to turn to, but it came to the point there was an awkward moment where i think they were rebounding on me a bit and i had to shut them down. luckily their support system ended up being there for them and being able to support them now so they haven't been talking to me as much and on some level i do feel like i am being used as a crutch until they get their shit together but i mean that's what i'll do if it's for someone i love.

but i guess now that i have had time to cool down my emotions are finally catching up to me and all that fear and guilt is like. swamping me up a bit and i just feel very very bad right now. i'm sure it'll pass but god i think i need to take care of myself right now because i can't pour emotional work for anyone else at this point.