#but it is well written so far
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No but these two scenes make absolutely no sense if nothing else happened? Armand's words and adoring look, are not used to gain anything for him or even for Louis, really. Louis messing with Daniel's memories could have been what Armand suggested, to bring him back to "what happened next". But his interference with that, looking actually sad at Daniel, saying what Alice was thinking and instead of being cruel and telling him that Alice isn't thinking of him, he put an end to it. And of course what was the point of the first flashbacks (even though they were from SF) when they were talking about Alice?
And then the next day, we have the apology on Louis' behalf and this heart eyes look.
It's certainly something beyond attraction, we have seen Armand grinning and being cocky about his sexual and hunting endeavours, we have even seen him actually being attracted to Daniel.
But these two scenes really don't make any sense unless something else happened. And of course the scene that Louis tells him he could turn him now...
#armandiel#armandaniel#devil's minion#iwtv spoilers#iwtv#interview with the vampire#interview with the vampire spoilers#yeah I have been disappointed before cause scenes on the shows mean nothing sometimes#but it is well written so far#and also the books give me hope#and it could also be fucked up even if their relationship is pure romance (and maybe codependance) since it started that way#I just want it to be revealed this season#anyway thank you for coming to my ted talk 1am in my country#myiwtv#armandielalreadyhappened
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finally in the process of reading the Guanyin Temple scene and holy shit if WWX isn't the protagonist of all time. We're in the Big Final Confrontation and so far my man has done fuck all except cuddle in LWJ's lap while everyone else is losing their shit and when he DOES finally do something he summons an army of naked, writhing, moaning sex corpses that even his allies just desperately wish Were Not There. stupendous, no notes
#this is the funniest possible Big Final Battle so far i have no idea how it'll end but so far i am LIVING for it#wwx and lwj are 100% committed to just cuddling through this and i love that for them why have i not once heard how funny this scene is#mdzs#wangxian#mdzs spoilers#the untamed spoilers#wei wuxian#wwx#lan wangji#lwj#jin guangyao#lan xichen#jiang cheng#jin ling#jgy#lxc#guanyin temple#my art#obviously tbf it's also a very well written and emotional scene too like yes it is also intense#jiang cheng and wei wuxian's confrontation was just *chefs kiss* heartbreaking well done team#kinda wanna slap lan xichen for being the dumbest bitch in the room but fine he is going through a lot atm#poor jin ling is trying his best and having a horrible time#i'm not convinced that wwx even cares that much about jgy besides for him a) trying to kill his friends/family#and b) making it actively harder for him to cuddle lwj#assume nhs is also there but like out of frame because that's basically how he's playing things atm anyway
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On Kurapika's Self-Imposed Isolation
While I recognize that probably everything I'm about to say is going to be super obvious, I just wanted to briefly touch on Kurapika's self-isolation, and the reason behind his not picking up his phone or exchanging anything more than clipped words and business after Yorknew.
I think the obvious answer is that Kurapika doesn't want his friends in harms way, or to be used as a bargaining tool against him. This is an understandable and probably accurate conclusion. After all, Gon and Killua did get taken hostage, and Kurapika was forced to negotiate an exchange. Chrollo picked up on Kurapika's "weakness" right away - that he values his friends' safety before his revenge. Fortunately for Kurapika in this situation, Pakunoda was a whole lot more similar to him than he would've cared to admit, as she placed a value on Chrollo's life even though everyone in the Spider was intended to be replaceable. So, now that he's been through Gon and Killua having potentially gotten killed or seriously hurt, and Chrollo knows that he has a soft spot for them, it does make sense that he would try to push them away for their safety and for the sake of not having an exploitable "weakness" in future. He may also not want to burden them more when they have their own lives to live - he does slip off without telling Gon and Killua for the sake of not distracting them from Nen training, after all.
Except that he already tried all this earlier in Yorknew arc. He tried to tell them they shouldn't get involved, and they all agreed that the risks were massive - but his friends agreed to undergo the risks anyways to help him. Kurapika was even grateful for it - "I have been blessed with good friends."
So, for him to push them away solely for this reason after the fact, knowing that this was very much a likely situation to happen, is a little odd to me. Kurapika knows full well that Leorio would be frustrated, Killua would be offended and Gon would worry. So, I think there's a little more to it than that, and I actually would venture to say that "keeping his friends out of danger" is more a secondary reason for his actions - one that would come across as more of a reasonable excuse to others.
The primary reason is likely a lot more selfish than that. Kurapika has to ensure his mission comes first. And unfortunately, he is fully aware that his path and choice in abilities is deeply self-destructive.
Kurapika needs to make sure that he doesn't have exploitable weaknesses, sure, but he also just as much needs to purposefully worsen his headspace - and he can't do that with those three around.
Think back, what are the happiest moments we see from Kurapika in the series? The one that comes to mind first, and the one I'm sure most of us will think of immediately, is this:
[ID: A screenshot from the 2011 anime adaptation. Kurapika smiles - he looks at ease. End ID.]
It's one of the sweetest scenes of the series imo, right before the whole group is reunited for the first time since the Zoldyck Family arc, and it's even more notable because it comes immediately on the tail end of this...
[ID: Three panels from HxH Chapter 101. Kurapika removes his contacts over the sink. His expression is distant. End ID.]
...and this...
[ID: A panel from HxH Chapter 101. A close up of Kurapika's vacant and furious expression, his eyes wide and dangerous as he says "It might as well be you." Though the art is in black and white, it's apparent his eyes have gone scarlet. End ID.]
...and this.
[ID: A panel from HxH Chapter 101. A distant Kurapika speaks on the phone on a rooftop at night, the cityscape of Yorknew around him dark, but speckled with lights and stars. He says "The Spiders are dead." His face is not visible to the reader. End ID.]
This is, up to this point in the series, Kurapika at his lowest. In contrast to Gon, who is happy to hear that the Spiders are dead already because now Kurapika can focus solely on finding his peoples' eyes, Kurapika... is clearly not happy - and that's because killing the Spiders himself isn't just revenge. It's penance. It's survivor's guilt. Kurapika's powers, which Izunavi even comments sound much like he is chaining himself in the process of chaining his enemies, are oh-so-beautifully prophecied to destroy him - and Kurapika was aware of this from the moment he set off down this path of revenge.
(As a side note, this is why I'm really hoping we see Gon and Kurapika interact again after the Chimera Ant arc - while Gon has always been pretty attentive to Kurapika's emotional state, in Yorknew, he lacks a true understanding of why Kurapika would go so far... but as of now, he understands rage fueled by guilt and grief all too well. I know we're all rooting for Leorio to reach Kurapika, but barring that, I really think Gon could get through to him - after all, they are similar in several ways, and I find it fairly apparent that Gon reminds Kurapika of Pairo.)
But back to the main point here - I do suspect Kurapika expects (if not wants) his revenge mission to destroy him. I think a lot of times, we forget just how young Kurapika is, and how much his character is dictated by honour, and the abandonment of it.
Certainly, he can and will go against his principles for the sake of his mission... yet, almost paradoxically, he's bound to his promise to his fallen clan; a promise to avenge them made in anger.
But Kurapika... doesn't come across as a naturally angry person to me at all.
He seems like the stoic, vengeful type on his initial introduction... and then we get his panic at Gon's recklessness
[ID: A panel from HxH Chapter 2. Kurapika and Leorio wear matching expressions of panic in front of Gon, calling him out for his recklessness. End ID.]
...and his near-immediate forgiveness of Leorio after getting the first inkling of his character - of someone who cares just as fiercely as he does.
And after that point? Almost all through the Hunter Exam? Kurapika smiles so readily at them. He's sharp and funny. He mediates at times, but is stubbornly prideful in others. He's very amused by his friends' antics, and it really does seem like he starts to enjoy himself, with them. And, more than that, he counters Leorio's initial impression of him as an independent loner - on several occasions. He decides to follow Gon because Gon intrigues him. Asides from Gon, it is Kurapika who is the most unwilling to fight each other at the bottom of Trick Tower. Kurapika who makes the first move to team up with Leorio, even though that arrangement benefits Leorio much more than it does him. Kurapika who refuses to abandon Leorio to his fate in the cave, and who checks on Gon after noticing his bad mood. Who was furious enough watching him get beat down by Hanzo that his eyes went scarlet for the first and only instance outside of Spider mentions and Emperor Time. Who quite readily detoured to help rescue Killua.
[ID: Three screenshots from the 2011 adaptation Hunter Exam arc. In the first, Kurapika smiles at a sleeping Leorio. In the second, Kurapika stifles laughter as he pretends he's asleep. In the third, Kurapika has an open-mouthed smile as he acquires the airship tickets for them, Leorio and Gon standing behind him. End ID.]
Look at him! He's so bright! So happy!
...too happy. Too happy to do what he promised himself he would do. And that's his biggest fear, isn't it. Without his rage... what is he left with?
[ID: A panel from HxH chapter 2. A close up of Kurapika's eye as he says "I do not fear death. What I fear is that my rage will one day fade away." End ID.]
Kurapika is far, far less mired in anger when he's with his friends. I actually dare to say that at certain points, he was able to go for lengths of time without thinking much about it - alternating between almost forgetting in one instance and being hit like a sledgehammer on exposure to a reminder in the next. This violent swing is... actually the beginnings of the natural process of healing from loss and trauma. But to Kurapika, who's made a promise to his people's memories, this is not a relief. This is betrayal.
I think that actually scares him, that he can almost picture it. A life beyond his guilt. That he, too, could learn to be happy, even after unimaginable loss.
And so, as Kurapika continues his mission offscreen, finding more and more gruesome reminders of the cruelty inflicted on his people and losing more and more pieces of himself in the process (in his own words, no less), he prioritizes his responsibility to them, and pushes away his distractions. He cannot be a soul at peace until his work is done; he must be in turmoil. He pushes people away who he cares for, and binds himself, and keeps his people's eyes on him, quite literally, because respite, for him, is unacceptable. Perhaps that guilty part of him even hopes, by the end of this, that his soul will be so unrecognizable as to be fundamentally unsalvageable. But the truth of the matter is, or at least what comes across to me, is that Kurapika cares much more fiercely than he hates. He knows what matters most. And for as long as he does, he still hasn't truly lost himself.
[ID: A panel from HxH chapter 350. Kurapika looks down at baby Woble with a gentle, yet complicated expression. The inking is somewhat softer. End ID.]
Kurapika's soul is kind, really. And it wants to heal - but for the sake of his mission, he needs it damaged and bleeding. And so, he forces himself to exist in that pain. All alone.
[ID: A panel from HxH Chapter 344. Kurapika, dressed in a black suit, sits with his back to the reader, looking down at a photo in his hand. He is slumped a little before the church vigil he has prepared, all his clan's eyes lined up in their jars and honoured with flowers and candles. He thinks to himself "There is no home for me to return to... and nobody to welcome me back. I have nothing left." End ID.]
#thank you for coming to my ted talk on how kurapika is worsening his own mental health as well as physical health on purpose have a good day#oh my god this took me so long but it was worth it!!!#actual analysis!!! it's been so long!!!#anyways i'm far shakier on my hxh knowledge than other fandoms i've written meta for#so i hope this makes sense. i appreciate additions to it just please be polite!#i also believe that togashi's writing lends itself to multiple interpretations that are equally valid. so much of this#may be my own takeaway. but i do think there's enough evidence to support it#well. i hope you guys suffer... i mean enjoy.#storyrambles#hunter x hunter#hxh#hxh meta#kurapika#call me ace detective the way i am ace. and also a detective#<-analysis tag i missed you
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Is Anyone Reading The Boy Wonder by Juni Ba?
I just read the second issue of Juni Ba's The Boy Wonder and was absolutely DELIGHTED holy shit. Is anyone else reading this run? Because a fairytale type story is such a good format to re-tell each Robin's origin and the tun is also such a nice Damian character study. I honestly feel like I understand Damian as a character so much more even just from these first couple issues.
And it's not just Damian either! Dick in the first issue and now the second issue with Jason. Through this fairytale lense Ba deconstructs each of them and really gets to the core of each former Robin in such a way that is so easy to understand and is absolutely true to their characters.
Like, Juni Ba GETS it, oh my god.
I literally CANNOT wait for the next issue which features Tim! (I'll admit he's my favourite).
And his character designs make me wanna eat glass because they're so good. Sincerely some of my absolute favourite Batfam designs like ever. Actually made me like the Red Robin cowl suit. Like...hell yeah. Speaking as an artist myself, his line work and inking is so beautifully stylized and so controlled that it takes my breath away everytime I look at it.
So I guess the tldr of this post is this:
If you are a fan of the Robins, this is a MUST read, and if you do, talk to me about it because I'm going bonkers over it.
#I hope juni ba knows this run will live rent free in my brain forever#it's so beautiful#and so so well written so far#the boy wonder 2024#the boy wonder#the boy wonder juni ba#juni ba#damian wayne#dick grayson#jason todd#batfam#robin#batman#dc#comic review#kruspp's comic comments
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My top 10 nonfiction reads of 2023 (the asterisked ones are in French with no translation as of yet) :
Belle Greene, Alexandra Lapierre
The Indomitable Marie-Antoinette, Simone Bertière
Reporter: A Memoir, Seymour Hersh
Red Carpet: Hollywood, China and the Global Battle for Cultural Supremacy, Erich Schwartzel
Empire of Pain: The Secret History of the Sackler Dynasty, Patrick Keefe
Servir les riches, Alizée Delpierre*
La Comtesse Greffulhe : L’ombre des Guermantes, Laure Hillerin*
Le Courage de la nuance, Jean Birnbaum*
The Book Collectors of Daraya, Delphine Minoui
Flowers of Fire: The Inside Story of South Korea's Feminist Movement, Hawon Jung
#book recs#i haven't finished the last one yet but it's been good so far! i really admire these women's resilience and solidarity#some inspiring stories of political activism + insight into aspects of korean history i didn't know about#i wanted to do a half-fiction half-nonfiction list like last year but i've read mostly disappointing fiction this year :(#my favourites were probably kivirähk's the man who spoke snakish & catherynne valente's radiance; though it wasn't as good as orphan tales#i'm reading jacques abeille's les jardins statuaires right now and it's quite frustrating because on the one hand#it's well-written and interesting with original worldbuilding. on the other i'm 300 pages in and there have been#2 female characters. the purpose of both (so far) was to have sex with the male protagonist and only 1 has a name#which makes the read feel less original and more ''same old shit as far as i'm concerned''
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i got bored and began writing an essay on charles, and now i have over 1300 words doing a deep dive of how charles is stuck in limbo
#i call it “the tragedy if charles rowland and the fascination with what he cant have”#and its not well structured or anything#i just spat all my thoughts into a google docs and am still writing#so far ive written near 200 words on his pocket dimension being a metaphor#and a lot of society rejecting him which is fun#i have a lot of thoughts#also putting my psychology classes to good use#if charles rowland doesnr have an anxious attachment style i dont know who does#dead boy detectives#dbda#charles rowland#dead boy detective agency#shit talker talks
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I thought wed established that Doctor Who isn’t a sci-fi show. The critics about character dévelopement are valid I will give that, but I don’t agree when we start speaking about hard logic and the genre rules of sci-fi series.
Doctor Who is not Star Trek, it’s an adventure sitcom set in outer space.
I mean we all have different approaches and expectations when watching a show. But I promise, watching Doctor Who like it’s not a silly fun timey Wimey series will always lead to disappointment and plot holes.
#just wanted to vent a bit#but I think it comes down to vastly different expectations#i agree that we could have stronger character work#that would’ve helped with a lot of the disappointment people are feeling#it does make me sad to see people so upset about it#because I adore this show#and it’s just silly fun and typically well written tv#and this is far from a weak season#i believe in RTDs vision#dw#dw rant#dw spoilers#Doctor who#Doctor who rant#doctor who spoilers
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of rooftops, secrets, and us.
#thame po#thame po series#thame po the series#heart that skips a beat#thame x po#po x thame#william jakrapatr#est supha#estwilliam#williamest#thamepo#gifs#gifset#na's gifs#i think the rooftop has become a secret place for many pairs#and i love it <3#(and i can't stop thinking about thame po please send help)#there's something so enticing about est's acting in this trailer that pushes me to the wall and demands me to highlight it#he's... stunning#i think he embodied the essence of po so so well#i can't wait to meet po!#and i'm excited to see how far william can go as thame <3#//i'm already so in love with this drama you won't understand T_T//#self written#quotes by athousandbyeol#na creates#for thamepo
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trouble in.. paradise?
you may not want to be here my friend.
#see i didn't think it would happen this way#hell i had dialogue written out for a story post#but?!#this was 100% autonomous i only made her buy drinks and watch NYE tv#just sitting at my pc at 4 in the morning cackling like a witch while watching the circus#simblr#starsignchallenge#in my mind she initiated the midnight kiss as revenge not thinking it'd ever go this far#bc river has already accepted that there's no room for him in her life or even their son's life; everything that happened was just#a mistake and a moment of weakness on both of their ends.#she was not expecting anything drastic to come out of it. especially not a whole child./!@#it happened Off ScreenTM bc i wasn't sure if i was even gonna follow that storyline but like. well. tbh why not#raf is a bit of a pushover and lived in conscious denial for years but suspected something was up when his son came out green eyed#LMAO#also she looks so pretty. sorry bisexual moment. im looking respectfully.
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i think something that frustrates me about ted and rebecca even beyond the whole no-romance thing (crying forever btw 😢) is that they never really got to have a coherent storyline together again after s1 and the christmas episode, and uh ..... i think it would have been cool to have more of those shared between the two leads of the show. like, in a way, i think i would have been more okay with it not being shippy if they'd had more storylines and more of a definitive overall series arc together, because presumably then at least we would have seen them interact regularly enough and in a variety of conditions enough that i would've gotten more of a feel for why it wasn't a romantic thing and what, in fact, it was? i don't know! i just really wish they'd given that dynamic wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy more to do and way more interest after s1. it just felt like they were deliberately written to be ships in the night, all the time, no harbor ever, which feels crummy. like, s1 sets them up to be very close friends with these parallel struggles, but then they barely have even a shared b-plot together ever again after the christmas ep. the closest thing is one shared scene followed up by one phone call in 3.08, right? and then the series finale, where they do actually finally have three whole related scenes together, shock of all time.
anyway. so weird. SO WEIRD! such a funky writing choice that i am not a fan of.
#what was the arc post-s1? I HAVE NO IDEA!#why couldn't they have more of an ARC that got ATTENTION?#i think it's just because the show was done with their dynamic as something to explore in-depth after s1 but. ouch.#weird flex as a writing move#dollsome's deep thoughts#ted x rebecca#tedbecca#sorry if this doesn't make any sense. i still have the vestiges of influenza brain!#ESPECIALLY BECAUSE THERE WAS SO MUCH ABOUT THEIR TWO CHARACTERS THEY COULD'VE POTENTIALLY BONDED OVER!#but instead as far as we know they never even found those things out about each other!#including things like if ted ever even frickin' got a frickin' voicemail from her! are we high-maintenance for wanting to find out?#okay i'm shutting up now. i swear.#anyway: objectively i don't think this relationship was well written after s1#where i found it one of the most well-written onscreen dynamics i'd seen in a long time. weary sigh.
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Was re-reading the hunger games and well, the prequel couldn’t have come out at a more appropriate time
#and the unplanned revisiting of both books and movies has not disappointed so far!#yes it’s YA but it’s also well written well made and very smart & poignant#the hunger games#mockingjay
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i am so interested in ur hlvrai au can we get a rundown
oh boy, this is going under a readmore.
fair warning, this is a LONG read because (1.) i am not a competent writer and (2.) i can't for the life of me keep things brief. sorry and or good luck.
ACT I
The Black Mesa incident: Gordon Freeman is provided an opportunity to do an informal beta test for a combat training simulation program that's in development in the Research & Development department of the Black Mesa Research Facility. (Read: He knows a guy in R&D and said guy knows Gordon likes video games and VR stuff, so he was like "hey you should come check this out when you're on break.")
The combat sim would be a revolutionary training simulation using artificial intelligence to enhance and realize the experience for the ‘player character’.
The test goes wrong, and Gordon can’t seem to disengage from the simulation and odd, unscripted things start happening; he has to ‘play the game’ to its full completion before he is able to exit the simulation safely. He has suffered a brain injury throughout the process, eye damage due to prolonged exposure to the headset and is generally traumatized by the simulation experience he at some point could no longer physically and emotionally distinguish from the real world. The project as a whole is shut down and Gordon is put into a rehabilitation program. Black Mesa covers up the incident as best it can, but whispers of it still echo around the facility.
Below is a page for a two-page comic i never finished detailing said events.
ACT II
The rumors reach the ears of a particularly tech-savvy researcher named Clark, who steals the project documentation and anything else he can get his hands on from a storage. At home, he looks into the project, reads about it, and gets curious about the simulation’s files themselves. They’re on a drive he plugs into his computer, and suddenly his system’s performance lags, windows open and close until a txt. file opens up. He comes into contact with one of the simulation’s AI that has somehow entered his operating system. He tries to keep it busy by having it poke around as he reads up on the simulation and its ultimate shutdown. When the AI reveals it can see him through the webcam, he panics and rips the drive out of the port. The invasive AI and the other project files seems like they’re gone from his system, he does a checkup but sees nothing odd running or otherwise. The next day after work he does another checkup. Finding nothing, he surmises he’s in the clear and starts up an online game. The slumbering, corrupted data of the AI sees its out, and disappears into the game.
ACT III
The transition/journey to the game is a rocky one, and the already corrupted data of the AI known as Benrey splits and gets even more fragmented. The largest fragment embeds itself into the game’s files to keep itself running. Without the foundation of the game to support it, it’d be lost to a dead void and slowly die out. Somewhat stable, it learns about the world around it; the game seems to be an exploration sandbox game. For now (and clarity), I’ve chosen to call this bigger, embedded fragment ‘Data’. (so this is the big benny with the right eye/one big eye in my art)
Data splits off a smaller fragment of itself, intending it to be an avatar or ‘player character’ but this grows into its own awareness and becomes who we’ll call ‘Beastrey’ (the smaller benny with the left eye and tail in my art).
The fragment ‘Beastrey’ wakes to a dead void, so Data uses its knowledge to create a private server for Beastrey, an empty world. Beastrey’s existence is an extension of the bigger part, with more freedom of movement to parse through the game and move freely within it, with the caveat that it can’t go ‘too far’ away from the host. Beastrey can visit other servers and relay information. Data learns and slowly starts building up the world/private server, at some point settling for an aquatic world because it reminds it of itself (something something sea of data). It's important to note that Beastrey retains little to no memories of the events of canon VRAI.
Data makes it easier for Beastrey to move around, and they grow to have more reach with time. At some point Data can alter the basic structural elements of the game, so it plays around with making things that are reminiscent of the memories it has of Black Mesa and Xen. At one point, it gains access to parse through the player base of the game, and takes note of an email address: ‘[email protected]’, attached to a player account. The name is somewhat familiar to it.
It sends an invite to join the server to the player account.
ACT IV
Gordon tries going back to work at Black Mesa after rehabilitating, but he has trouble separating his experiences with the simulation from reality, to a breaking point where an altercation with a security guard drives him to quit. He seeks professional help for his PTSD and anxiety, but still experiences dissociative episodes, migraines and somatic flashbacks localised mostly in his right forearm. Despite this, he is determined to continue living his life as normally as possible. He applies for a part-time job teaching physics at a local high school, the one where his son Joshua goes to, and remains relatively stable from there.
Joshua is 15 years old. Regular teen. After an impressive amount of pleading he got a VR-headset for his 14th birthday from Gordon (much to the disapproval of Gordon’s ex), and he’s been captivated by an exploration sandbox game since it came out a few months ago.
He gets an invite to an unnamed private server, and he accepts.
He is struck with awe as the world he enters seems completely different from the ones he’s seen so far in the game. Different flora, different fauna. Most of it uninteractible, though, or otherwise just retextured from its base game variant. Even the new enemy types, after a scare, can’t actually hurt him, it seems. He stumbles upon Beastrey, who is just as surprised to see him and wants him out until Joshua says he was invited.
Joshua commends Beastrey (who introduces himself as 'Ben-') on ‘modding’ everything in, but admits that he was disappointed to find that everything was just surface-level stuff. Beastrey inquires about what he’d like to see. Data is always watching, unseen, and decides to alter the world in the way Joshua described when Joshua leaves.
Joshua starts appearing more often, if only for a few hours at a time. He marvels at the ways the world shifts and grows with each time he plays, and takes to exploring it with Beastrey at his side, for whom strangely enough a lot of things are also new. Joshua teaches both Beastrey and Data about the outside world, thinking Beastrey is just a somewhat reclusive but likeable weirdo.
Joshua tells Gordon about the new friend he made, ‘Ben’, and the adventures he’s been having with the other. Gordon is happy to hear Joshua is having a good time, but is otherwise none the wiser. Joshua starts losing track of time in the game, but chalks it up to being invested.
During one play session, Beastrey confesses he isn’t the one who did all the ‘modding’, and invites Joshua to meet Data. Data, or at least its ‘physical’ in-game manifestation is deep within the world, past the aquatic twilight zone and strange, drowned ruins of an unknown facility. Data, for the first time, really sees Joshua, and the resemblance sparks something within it. Joshua is drawn closer to it, and just before he reaches it-
Joshua wakes up lying on the floor with Gordon hunched over him in his room, pleading with him to wake up. Joshua unknowingly got drawn into the game much like Gordon had been, and Gordon urges Joshua to never touch the headset again, taking it away. Gordon opens up about his experiences with the simulation a bit more. They both agree to not touch the game or the headset again.
ACT V
Gordon comes into contact with an old coworker from Black Mesa, and he inquires about the combat simulation project, if anything happened to it after it was canned. This is where he learns that an employee had taken the project files from storage and was consequently fired. He comes into contact with Clark, and Clark explains he had no idea he accidentally unleashed the AI unto the game. Gordon asks if anything can be done to prevent what happened to Joshua and himself from happening to other people. Clark confesses he doesn’t know, and that it’s up to the developers of the game to find anything out of place and make sure it gets fixed. Gordon decides to leave the matter where it lies, not wanting anything to do with AI and simulations anymore and to safeguard his son.
Some time passes.
Joshua starts getting repeated invites and messages, at one point he gets into a conversation with ‘Ben’ via a platform’s messaging system. Ben says he can explain everything, that he’s sorry. Joshua decides he would like one final goodbye. He finds the headset stashed away somewhere in the house, and, while Gordon’s gone, he turns on the game and enters the server.
Beastrey (Ben) is surprised to see him, urging him to log out and turn off the game, but it’s already too late and Joshua can no longer leave. Beastrey helps Joshua attempting to ‘exit’ the game by going as far away from Data’s reach, but Data stops Beastrey and traps Joshua, determined to wait to the point that he assimilates into the game completely.
Gordon eventually finds Joshua comatose with the headset on, and he panics. He considers calling the emergency services, but he’s afraid they’ll take the headset off or that removing Joshua too far from the game will hurt his son like what happened to him. He calls Clark, urging him to help in any way he can. This results in Gordon and Clark going back to Black Mesa to retrieve the project files and the other gear they can get their hands on to get Gordon into the game to free his son.
Gordon enters the private server with Clark’s player character, and thwarts any attempt from Data to impede his progress and trap him as well. Beastrey’s awareness is overridden by Data as a last ditch effort to deter Gordon and Gordon is forced to destroy Beastrey before he can reach Data. As Beastrey is taken over, Data gains Beastrey’s awareness, and finds his other, littler half never wanted to trap Joshua in the first place, and the way it hurt him to hurt both Joshua and Gordon to this extent.
At this point, Data wavers in its intention to keep Joshua trapped, even more so with Beastrey now gone, and recognises whatever it is that is driving Gordon forward in the game is outside of his control to manipulate, so he lets Gordon destroy it as well. In a way, it also feels as a fulfillment of its intended role as the ‘villain’. The server crashes, the world breaks apart. The ‘game’ is completed.
The final boss is defeated and both Gordon and Joshua wake up. Joshua luckily wasn’t exposed long enough to have suffered any lasting damage, except for what seems to be a minor headache and some light sensitivity (and a vow from Gordon to get him checked out by a doctor as soon as the clinics open).
--
The whole ordeal results in Clark, Gordon and Joshua sitting in a Denny’s at four in the morning, eating pancakes somewhat solemnly, completely exhausted but also still reeling from the virtual battle. Joshua learns that ‘Ben’ essentially died, and he can’t help but cry for his friend.
“Honestly, I don’t think he’s gone,” Gordon admits, picking at the last bites of his pancakes. "I think he- or whatever that was, has a hard time staying dead. Like a cockroach, you know? At this point I’m just wondering when he’ll turn up again.”
Clark hums in agreement. Joshua seems somewhat reassured by his words, wiping at his eyes with the scratchy napkin as he settles into the squeaking diner seat.
“But,” he starts with a sigh, pointing his syrup-covered fork upwards to the ceiling in a decree, “One thing’s for certain…”
He thinks back to a time rife with virtual gunfire, caging walls and hysterical laughter echoing through the halls of the Black Mesa research facility. Five sets of footsteps and a whisper of his name.
“…No more VR. No more headsets. Ever.”
--
TL;DR: Gordon got trapped in VR and then Joshua also got trapped in VR. Benrey is there but also not.
thank you for reading. here. ( x ‿ o ) 🫴
#augmentedreality#gras talks#i need you all to understand that most of the plot was retroactively written to justify certain stylistic choices in my art#thats why beastreys design became what it is now and it wasnt 'like that' in the beginning#i didnt expect myself or others to become invested in it to such an extent /crying#with all of this i mean to say please don't grill me on the details. i simply dont know and will start crying profusely if pressed#also its very bencentric but i have played around with shoehorning the rest of the science team into it as well. so far no luck though
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Sometimes one must lie awake and think about Helena Bertinelli, who was taken in after her family was killed and taught to channel her fear into violence and a drive for revenge, versus Dick Grayson, who was taken in after his family was killed and taught to channel his anger into a drive for justice (also accomplished through violence, albeit a more mild version).
And sometimes one must think about the complicated relationships that each has with Batman and what that means in regards to their vigilantism. How both value his respect so highly and want to impress him, but at the same time don’t want to be like him and can’t be like him.
And sometimes one must think about how they both knew the pain of losing a brother, but chose to find one in Tim’s Robin anyways. Or how they both managed to juggle jobs and vigilante roles at the same time. Or how much compassion they can both show to those that need it.
But above all, one must think about how they used to be cool, like, 20 years ago.
#does this end too salty 😭 I’m in the middle of my new52 read and hating it#reading through Grayson and missing 2000s Helena so so badly#cool design but so far at least she just feels so like. generic sexy woman.#dick isn’t even much better considering it’s his solo#anyways.#remember when she used to be a regular and fairly well written figure in bat comics#helena bertinelli#dick grayson#dc#rambles
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Hey y'all! My grandma loves hot cocoa, but has some heart issues that mean even the tiny amount of caffeine from the chocolate in hot cocoa is no longer an option for her. Do you have any recommendations for caffeine-free hot cocoa? I'm thinking given the whole "chocolate has caffeine" thing it'll probably have to be like white chocolate hot cocoa, but I don't know if y'all have any recommendations for what basic white chocolate hot chocolate to get (her favorite hot cocoa in general is the swiss miss hot cocoa with flavored coffee creamer added, so like the more basic the hot cocoa mix the better. The hot cocoa is merely a thing to put the flavored coffee creamer in)
#the person behind the yarn#food mention#my grandma and I both have tachycardia but her tachycardia far outpaces mine#and mine tolerates caffeine very very well#because my tachycardia is mostly caused by low blood pressure#my grandma's is caused by electrical issues in her heart#so caffeine is a no-go but she used to be able to have the little bit inherent in chocolate okay#and now it throws her into afib (a word I have only heard said never seen written so idk how to spell it)#so...time for a new option! I can send it to her for her birthday
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people love dean & jo content so much why don't they love jo (singular) or jo (sapphicnatural) too. she is gorgeous and equally as deserving as your love
#dean is my best friend too i get it but.#i've written so much jo stuff and it doesn't get spread very far - the second dean is involved there are a LOT more hits#main character syndrome. well jo is the main character. to ME#jo harvelle#ola.txt
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#p4#persona 4#p4g#hanamura yosuke#yosuke hanamura#anyone that says yosuke is nothing but mean and awful to Kanji should meet me in the parking lot#we're not going to throw hands im just going to show you my 100 slide powerpoint presentation on their complex dynamic#for me one of the most appealing things about yosuke is how human and realistic he's been written#he is simultaneously capable of immense empathy and care towards his friends while at the same time struggle with his own identity#combined with a difficultly in self expression that results in him making tactless and hurtful remarks at times#thats not to say it makes those remarks ok - far from it!#but i think reducing yosuke to just those remarks makes him a rather empty caricature#which is such a shame especially considering that his entire personal narrative arc has been about confronting himself so he can be better#but anyway yes he cares about his friends he cares about their well being so much#he didnt have any obligation or a responsibility to look out for his juniors but he did so anyway without anyone asking#and it's so!!! because kanji does not look like he needs babying at all. hes taller than both yosuke and yu and he looks way older too#kanji has taken care of biker gangs by himself and is known to be intimidating#not that any of that fazes yosuke? kanji is his friend now hes one of them and therefore yosuke immediately wants to look out for him#god hanamura yosuke you so!!!#AAAAAAAAH#he's good with his queue
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