#she was not expecting anything drastic to come out of it. especially not a whole child./!@

[virsancte]

trouble in.. paradise?

you may not want to be here my friend.

[shrimpybbq]

season 3 rafe with his gf & son

they’ve been on guadeloupe for a month now, and it was like rafe had transformed into a whole new person. he was the man of the family now, and he was taking over the finances, the household and all their business dealings. he had also changed drastically as a father, spending any of his free moments with charlie and everything he does, he does it for him

ugh rafe treats his gf so good in season 3, doing his best to show her just how much he appreciates her. he’s constantly spoiling her with affection, gifts, and dates. they go to nice restaurants on the island before coming back to the house, giggling as they make their way upstairs. rose groans as she sees rafe’s hands squeezing her ass, silently thankful her room is on the other side of the house (rafe is a loud grunter in bed, but sometimes he moans just that little too loudly)

they have the master bedroom in the house on guadeloupe and he loves to share a bath with his girl, relaxing with a glass of whiskey as she rests against his chest. rafe feels like everything is perfect in those moments

gf is still a bit uneasy about all the events that took place, but she tries to push her feelings away. she was here now, and this was going to be their life so she tries to embrace it

they spend lots of time out on the boat, lounging on the deck and relaxing in the sun. rafe loves to see his girl in a bikini, and he can’t keep his hands off of her, only behaving when charlie comes out with them too (rafe and charlie wear matching swim shorts)

she’s 100% in denial about the buzzcut at first, eyes widening as he walks through the door. he had mentioned getting a haircut but not this! gf is running her hands over his scalp sadly, whining about where ‘her’ hair went

“Don’t you like it, baby?” Rafe asked, looking down cheekily at his girl. He hadn’t expected such a reaction.

“I mean…. you still look good,” she said as her hand gravitated to the nape of his neck, quietly admitting “it suits you.” Rafe just smirked before placing a passionate kiss on her lips, his lips curving as she automatically went to thread her fingers through his locks, a small whimper leaving her in frustration.

when rafe meets with carlos singh, he’s already missing his family. after being blindsided by singh’s demands he goes to leave only to be stopped, the older man speaking calmly, “do I look like a fool to you, Mr Cameron? I know you want to get back to your pretty little family, but you have the cross, therefore, one of you has had the diary. If you don’t want anything to happen to those you care about, then get me that diary.” rafe is immediately on edge, telling him not to speak about his family ever again. he can’t stand the idea of either his gf or son getting caught up in his drama

rafe isn’t keen on going back to the obx, especially not after settling into a routine in guadeloupe. i can picture him refusing to go unless he gets to bring his family with him, despite their reluctance. little charlie loves guadeloupe and doesn’t want to go, but a little convincing from his mother and father and he’s excited and clapping his hands happily

barry comes around to tannyhill to discuss his and rafe’s plan, only to see the couple sitting outside on the large balcony. rafe is outstretched on the lounge, girlfriend sleepily tucked against his side. she’s almost asleep when barry walks in, whistling loudly at the sight of rafe’s hand once again on her ass

wherever rafe goes, gf goes too - he’s becoming paranoid that someone will hurt them. because she comes everywhere with him now, she’s aware of everything happening with the gold. rafe trusts her, and he tells barry that he should too. besides, it’s her and her son’s future in the balance too

when ward returns to kildare, rafe is not happy. he finally feels like things are falling into place - his girl is happy, his kid loves being home and he has the cross (or what’s left of it). he can start again, become a real businessman and provide for his family. he can give them a life others could only dream of, and whatever his dad wants is no longer relevant to him

rafe proudly displaying his girl in front of the whole party at his house, a little drunk and declaring his love for her, her cheeks flushing deeply at his words

rafe who has some of the gold turned into a ring to propose to her with, plus a pair of wedding bands for later. he wants to spend his whole life with his girlfriend, and call her his wife for real this time. rafe proposes casually, bringing out the ring from his bedside table one morning, sliding it on her finger while she sleeps. high school gf stirs later, going to brush her hair out of her face only to catch sight of the gleaming rock on her finger

“Rafe? What’s this?” She asked teasingly, rolling over to look at Rafe as he pulled on his shirt. He smiled cheekily, feigning ignorance.

“Hmmm… I don’t know anything about that, but it looks nice - don’t you think?” Rafe responded, matching her teasing tone. At the sight of a smile spreading across her face and a small ‘mmhmm’, Rafe couldn’t help but lean over the mattress, his arms caging her in. He placed a heady kiss on her lips, only drawing back once both were breathless.

“Are you gonna keep it on?” The blonde man asked, a hint of nervousness seeping through his voice.

“Of course I will, baby.”

rafe loves calling his girl his fiancée, so proud that he finally stepped up and showed her how much she means to him

he won’t tell her about his plans to kill his dad, but he’ll talk in vague terms to her about it. when she probes, he just tells her that this time it’s better if she doesn’t know

after rafe sends his dad to go on the plane, he returns to tannyhill. he had received his father’s blessing, and he was in charge of everything now. he feels like he has the entire world in the palm of his hands, and the perfect family by his side

his pretty fiancée waking him up a few weeks later with the sound of her vomiting in the ensuite, the second day in a row. she’s pale as she looks up at him, weakly resting her head against the wall as she asks him,

“What do you think about having another baby?”

Click here for pre-season 1 rafe, gf & their unborn son

Click here for season 1 rafe, gf & their son

Click here for season 2 rafe, gf & their son

Click here for season 4 part 1 rafe, gf & their son

Click here for the 18 month gap before season 4 rafe, gf & their son

[drabbles-mc]

You Have Friends?

Richie Jerimovich x F!Reader Richie Jerimovich & Carmy Berzatto & Neil Fak

For @the-slumberparty's Bingo Challenge! Bingo Square: friends with benefits

Warnings: 18+, language, canon-typical chaos

Word Count: 2.1k

A/N: I love them. I love them all so much. I can and would kill a man for Neil Fak.

The Bear Taglist: @garbinge @withmyteeth @justreblogginfics @narcolini (If you want to be added to any of my taglists, please let me know!)

You had your phone out, ready to call or text him to come and meet you outside. You weren’t expecting the door to be unlocked, but it pulled open with no resistance. Your eyebrows lifted, and for a moment you still contemplated just calling him anyway. But then you heard the crashing sounds, the subsequent yelling after the fact, and you knew that even if you called him repeatedly he wasn’t going to pick up the phone. Especially not when he was one of the people doing the yelling.

Taking a deep breath, you stepped inside and let the door fall shut behind you. The metallic clanging of the door hitting the frame was a sound you were certain no one else heard other than you. You took careful steps through the restaurant, or what used to be a restaurant, what was going to be a restaurant again in a couple months, apparently. There was debris everywhere, and the deeper you walked, the more the yelling made sense. Although, knowing Richie, yelling would happen even when it didn’t make sense. Italian aesthetic for the least Italian man you know.

Passing by a tarp, the one spray painted by someone who was clearly angry when they got the can of paint in their hand, you finally landed yourself where everyone was gathered. Carmy and Richie were chest-to-chest, or their approximation of that as Richie towered over him. Fak was on standby, and based off of what Richie had told you, you were certain that Fak was ready to jump in on Carmy’s behalf and not Richie’s.

There were a few other people there too. You recognized Natalie, worry and frustration all over her face as she watched Carmy and Richie yell and duke it out with each other. Your eyes widened as you took in the entire scene playing out in front of you. It clicked for you why Richie never told you to stop by.

Finally, she snapped. “Will you two shut the fuck up, please?! This isn’t solving anything!”

Richie shook his head, stepping back from Carmy only to aggressively gesture at him instead. “Nothing this dickhead is doing is solving anything! That’s the whole fuckin’—”

“I’m sorry,” Carmy interrupted Richie’s tirade, no longer looking at the man who had just been about to throw him through the crumbling sheetrock walls around them, “um who, who are you?”

Your eyes widened further not just at the fact that he was looking at you, talking to you, but at the drastic shift in his voice. He was quiet now, tone almost gentle, but clearly very confused. You cleared your throat, the nerves you’d felt standing in front of the restaurant were back in full-swing now that the yelling had stopped.

“Hi, sorry. I just—” you stopped short and held up the leather jacket in your hand as your only explanation.

Richie’s originally surprised expression had shifted to confusion. But once he saw the jacket in your hand, it changed into something else entirely. Almost soft. As soft as he would allow himself to be in the middle of the warzone.

“Shit,” his shoulders dropped and he stepped away from Carmy. “Thank you. Completely fuckin’,” he didn’t finish the sentence throwing out a vague hand gesture instead.

You chuckled quietly, still feeling awkward in the midst of it all but not quite as much now. Richie was, strangely enough, your tether in the midst of whatever storm you’d stumbled into. “I know.”

You handed it over to him, looking around at everyone who was looking at you. Maybe you should introduce yourself to the room. You knew most of them, or knew of them at least. Richie talked about them enough to make you feel like you knew them—you saw the pictures in his apartment, on his phone. Judging by the various looks of shock and confusion on everyone else’s faces, he was not as talkative about you as he was about all of them. That was about what you expected. You waited to see if Richie was gonna introduce you instead of making you do it, but he looked just about as lost as anyone else.

Clearing his throat, he nodded back the way you’d come in. “I’ll walk you out.”

You nodded, looking around at everyone. “It’s was nice to…you know…” you waved awkwardly. “Bye.”

The variety of goodbye’s that you got from everyone in the room was humorous. Or it was to you, at least. Judging by the look on Richie’s face you had the feeling that he was never going to be hearing the end of everything that just transpired over the last sixty seconds. You knew that whatever that was wasn’t their best behavior, but it was the best they could conjure up given your unexpected arrival and the fact that they had no idea who the fuck you were. It was a little impressive, honestly, especially if any of them were anything like Richie.

“I was gonna call,” you said as you and Richie made your way back through the minefield, trying to take all the same steps you had on the way in but in reverse lest you cause something else to collapse, “but then the door was open so I sorta just let myself in.”

He shook his head. “It’s fine. You’re fine.” He paused as he reached to open the door for you. “How much of that did you catch?”

You laughed. “Um, caught just about everything after you told one of them that you are ‘perfectly fucking capable’ of tearing the wall down safely.”

Richie shook his head. “Fuckin’ Fak.”

 You continued, not acknowledging his statement with anything but a smile. “Which, no offense,” you looked over at him, “I heard the crashing when I walked in. Not sure how true that is.”

“Not you too,” he shook his head as you both stood in the doorway. You were standing just out on the sidewalk, Richie just barely inside the hollowed-out restaurant.

“Just keepin’ it real,” you said, holding your hands up in surrender.

Richie was still shaking his head as he looked up at the sky for a moment, like he was visibly trying to talk himself out of saying something shitty. Finally looking back at you, he said, “Thanks for the jacket.” He shook it in his hand to emphasize his point.

“I know you guys are,” you made a general circling motion with your hand in the direction of the restaurant, “but call me when you’re done if you want.”

“Alright, yea.” He ran his hand across his brow-line. “I’ll let you know.”

You nodded. “Sounds good.” You leaned in, stealing a chaste kiss before stepping back away again. “Oh, and Richie?”

He looked at you, eyebrows raised. “Yea?”

“Take it easy on Carmy.” You laughed. “It’s fucked up to bully children.”

Richie laughed, tension dropping from his shoulders a little bit. “He makes it too easy, though. Candy from a fuckin’ baby, I swear.”

You laughed a little harder at that, shaking your head. “That’s exactly my point.” You watched him roll his eyes at you and all you could do was smile. “Talk to you later.”

“Yea, yea, I’ll see you.”

Richie stood there in the doorway and watched as you walked back down the sidewalk. You got a few strides away and realized that you hadn’t heard the clattering of the door shutting. When you turned around and saw him standing there still looking at you, you laughed and shook your head at him. He smiled, but rather than saying anything else, he just gave you the finger before pulling out a pack of cigarettes from the pocket of his track pants.

When he walked back into the construction area, everyone stopped what they were doing to look at him. By that point, everyone only consisted of Fak and Carmy. Natalie must’ve handed out tasks to just about everyone else, things they could do that didn’t involve trying to work through the mess that Richie had just inadvertently created with the disintegrating wall.

“Who was that?” Carmy immediately asked when Richie stepped back in the room.

“Don’t fuckin’ worry about it.”

Fak piped up. “Is she your girlfriend? Do you have a girlfriend?”

“Shut the fuck up, Neil,” Richie snapped with a shake of his head.

“Is she, though?” Fak didn’t let up.

“No—what—what are we, fuckin’ twelve? She’s not my girlfriend.”

“She’s stopping by!” Fak countered. “With your jacket!” He gasped dramatically. “Do you sleep over?”

“I’m gonna put you through that fuckin’ wall, I swear to god.”

Carmy was half-covering his mouth with his hand watching the two of them going back and forth. He tried not to smile. “She’s not your girlfriend, then. So, so what is she?”

Richie threw his hands up, jacket flapping as he did. “Why are we even talkin’ about this right now? Don’t you have a restaurant to open?”

“Can’t open shit when you’re knocking all the walls down,” Carmy shot back with a small smirk pulling at his lips. He paused. “What’s, what’s the deal?”

Richie shook his head, knowing that he wasn’t going to get out of the conversation without giving some kind of answer. For as annoyed as he was, he also had a sliver of awareness in the back of his mind that when the shoe is on the other foot he was just as relentless, if not more.

“I met her on, fuckin’, you know,” he patted at his pants pocket where his phone was. “And she’s cool.”

“But not your girlfriend,” Carmy clarified.

“No. We’re like, friends with benefits or whatever you fuckin’ lizards call it.”

“You have friends?” Carmy asked with a laugh.

“She gives you benefits?” Fak piped up, his voice that same shocked almost-whisper he used so often.

Richie was shaking his head at both of them. He pointed at Carmy, using the hand that was still clutching his jacket. “Fuck you—yes, I have friends.” He turned to Fak and pointed at him next. “And fuck you, yes I get benefits!” He punctuated the sentence by giving him a good shove.

“Think she’s still gonna give you benefits after seeing you act like a fucking maniac in here today?” Carmy asked, eyebrows slightly raised as he tried and failed miserably at not looking amused.

“Pfft,” Richie shrugged like he was so unbothered by it, like he was far cooler than he really is, “bet I’ll get even more benefits now.”

“Gross,” Carmy responded with a laugh.

“So gross,” Fak agreed.

“You fuckin’ asked,” Richie argued, pointing back and forth between the two of them.

Before they could descend further into the madness, Natalie’s voice came ringing in front the office. “Neil! Sweetheart! Come here for a second, please.”

“Coming!” he called back, charming as ever. He looked at Richie, pointing at him accusingly. “You’re gross.”

“And you don’t fuck, Neil Fak,” Richie replied without missing a beat.

Once he walked out of the room, Richie and Carmy both instantly broke down laughing. They were both shaking their heads, at each other, at Fak, at all of it. The entire morning had been a mess, just like most of the other mornings preceding it. It was so easy to get lost in it sometimes that giving each other shit over things like that was a breath of fresh air in the strangest way. Bullying each other just for the sake of it not because it felt like the restaurant was imploding and they were each trying to cope with it the only way that they really knew how.

“Hey, cousin,” Carmy spoke up after things had quieted between them again. It looked at Richie who was looking down at the jacket in his hand.

“Yea?” Richie pulled his eyes back up.

He nodded in the direction of the door. “That all good?”

Richie shrugged, nodded. “It’s all good.”

The ends of Carmy’s mouth lifted into a tiny grin. It was genuine, still just a touch of humor to it because they were still the exact men that they were. “Alright.” He clapped Richie on the back. “C’mon, let’s clean up this fuckin’ wall you knocked down.”

“I didn’t knock—”

“You fuckin’ did!” Carmy said with a laugh.

“You know what? Whatever,” Richie shook his head. Turning on his heel, he went to put his jacket away, somewhere out of the danger zone. “Grab a fuckin’ broom, then.”

Carmy was shaking his head, already making his way to get supplies to start containing the mess. He grabbed a garbage can and a broom, chuckling to himself when he heard Fak and Richie pick up their arguing all over again just a few yards away.

[glitterp0prhaps0dy]

the walls are crumbling

Family and friends hold a significant place in my heart. Trust doesn't come easily to me, as I value promises deeply. Sadly, my trust was once shattered by someone close who broke their promise in the worst way imaginable.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Floyd was sprawled out on the bed, a fresh bandage adorning his nose. He let out a groan, the aftermath of Grog's attack manifesting as a relentless headache. The room was steeped in darkness, a small concession to his throbbing head, per his request.

As the door creaked open, Barb entered, her silhouette framed by the light from the hallway. She carried a bottle of water, which she gently placed on the desk next to Floyd before settling herself on the floor beside the bed. "How ya doing bud?" she inquired with genuine concern.

Floyd managed a weak smirk, despite the pain. "Oh, you know, just living the dream. Getting beaten up by a mountain of muscle was definitely on my to-do list."

Barb cast a sympathetic glance his way. "Yeah... sorry you had to deal with that. Grog's a real piece of work, goes after anyone who doesn't match up to his narrow idea of 'cool'," she shared, her tone carrying a mix of apology and disdain.

Floyd let out a sigh, a hint of melancholy in his voice. "I guess this is going to delay my recovery, huh? Looks like my brother's going to have to wait even longer..." The sadness in his words was palpable, reflecting the weight of the setback.

Barb shifted, her interest clearly deepened by the unfolding story. "Your brother, huh... It's interesting, I've never really delved into why you left. What was it that drove you to take such a drastic step?" She leaned in slightly, her question inviting a level of introspection that hung heavily between them.

Floyd paused, the weight of past decisions and emotions becoming palpable in the quiet of the room. He reached for the bottle of water, its cool surface offering a brief respite as he marshaled his thoughts. With a slow sip, he allowed himself a moment of reflection before speaking. "It was a series of things, actually," he admitted, his voice interlacing with notes of contemplation and rue. "We had this blowout – all my brothers and I. It was about not achieving this 'ideal family harmony' we always talked about. One of those arguments that spirals out of control before you've even caught your breath."

Another sip of water punctuated his pause, his gaze momentarily losing focus as if visualizing the events once again. "But the argument was just the final straw, not the whole reason. I felt cornered, suffocated by all these expectations and my own fears of never measuring up. Leaving seemed like the only way out then, a chance to forge my own path, away from the shadows of those expectations."

Barb's presence was a quiet anchor in the room, her face a mask of empathy and understanding as she listened. "What about now?" she gently urged him on, sensing there was more he was grappling with.

Floyd's response carried a twinge of regret. "Now, I see that leaving was more like running away. It didn't solve anything, just delayed facing those deep-seated issues. And it brought on new ones – the ache of missing them, the guilt over the abrupt departure, wondering how much I've hurt them, especially him." His voice held a new level of insight, the kind that often comes from facing hard truths.

Barb offered a small, understanding smile, her demeanor gentle yet encouraging. "It sounds like you've been through quite a journey. But recognizing all of this? That's progress, Floyd. It shows growth. And hey, making mistakes is part of being a teenager. It's how we learn, right?" Her words, meant to comfort, also underscored the universal nature of growth and the hope that understanding brings.

Floyd gave Barb a faint nod, a hum of acknowledgment escaping him as the pain medication he'd taken earlier began to assert its influence, drawing him towards sleep. He couldned, his face sinking comfortably into the pillow. Barb observed this with a gentle smile, quietly exiting the room. She carefully closed the door behind her, ensuring the room remained dimly lit to maintain the tranquil environment Floyd preferred.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Barb stepped into the living room, where Riff was deeply engrossed in a battle of wits with the remnants of the demolished wheelchair. He prodded and poked at its battered frame, hope flickering in his eyes, only for it to be extinguished with a heavy sigh of defeat - the wheelchair was beyond repair.

Carol, on the other hand, was immersed in a rather creative endeavor. Her paper was a battlefield of sketches: skulls and stick figures in various states of duress, each representing Grog. The paper was boldly titled "Different Ways to Destroy Grog." It was clear Carol's artistic talents were currently fueled by a thirst for vengeance.

Rebel, meanwhile, was the picture of academic dedication, buried in a medical textbook. She was simultaneously drilling herself with flashcards, a testament to her determination to learn. Her leg was elevated, resting on a cushion - a battle scar from her encounter with Grog. Despite having delivered a formidable blow to Grog's face, Rebel hadn't emerged unscathed; she'd sprained her ankle in the process.

Barb slumped down on the couch next to Carol, a cloud of gloom hanging over her from the whole ordeal with Grog. She let out a deep sigh, her spirits dampened by the recent events. Glancing over at Carol's sketches, her eyes landed on a particularly imaginative doodle: Carol's hair transformed into a chainsaw, accompanied by a note that read 'revenge for him hurting Floyd's hair'. Despite the heavy mood, Barb couldn't help but let out a soft chuckle at the sight.

As the front door swung open, Thrash stepped inside, immediately noticing the remnants of the broken wheelchair and the somber atmosphere that enveloped the room. The usually vibrant energy of the group was noticeably dimmed. "What's going on? Where's Floyd?" he inquired, his voice laced with concern.

Rebel looked up from her medical book, meeting Thrash's gaze with a serious expression. "Floyd got into a bit of trouble at the market," she began, her tone even but carrying the weight of the incident. "We split up to grab some things, and... well, Floyd had a run-in with Grog. It got pretty nasty. Grog didn't just insult him; he physically attacked Floyd. Broke his nose, damaged his wheelchair beyond repair."

"Wow..." Thrash exhaled, the word barely escaping his lips as he processed the gravity of what Rebel had relayed. The shock was evident in his widened eyes, a mix of disbelief and concern flooding in.

Thrash's gaze shifted to Rebel's propped-up foot, a puzzled expression crossing his face. "And what happened to you?" he inquired, concern etched in his voice.

Rebel glanced down at her injured foot, a wry smile playing on her lips. "Kicked the hell out of Grog," she replied matter-of-factly, her tone betraying the underlying satisfaction of delivering a well-deserved blow.

Riff glanced up from the wheelchair fragments, his frustration palpable. "That Grog's a piece of work," he grumbled, shaking his head. "Acts like he owns the whole market. It's one thing to have a beef with someone, but attacking Floyd like that? Unforgivable."

Carol, still scribbling her revenge plans, piped up with equal disdain. "He's nothing but a big, angry, walking disaster. Anyone who messes with one of us deserves what's coming to them. And believe me, I've got some creative ideas for his comeuppance," she said, tapping her pencil against the paper filled with doodles and notes. "Harming Floyd's hair, though? That's a personal attack on all Trolls. It's like cutting off a limb!" Her voice was a mix of anger and a bizarre sense of excitement at the prospect of enacting her plotted revenge.

Barb had remained silent, idly twiddling her fingers, lost in thought. Eventually, she lifted her gaze to the others and voiced a heavy realization, "...Floyd's going to be with us for a bit longer, huh?"

The room turned towards her, absorbing the weight of her words. Thrash replied, with a mix of regret and warmth in his tone, "Yeah, sadly, that seems to be the case. Not that we mind having him here, of course—he's a great kid. But it's unfortunate because it means he'll be delayed in getting back to his family..."

"Oh right, Floyd's upstairs, likely out like a light by now. Wouldn't shock me if that behemoth of a brute rattled his brain enough to give him a concussion," Riff mentioned, concern evident in his voice despite the casual delivery.

Carol, who had been silently doodling, looked up, her expression a mix of worry and anger. "We should've been there sooner," she said, the guilt heavy in her tone. "I mean, what if it's serious? Concussions are no joke."

Barb nodded, sharing the sentiment. "Yeah, and with his leg already in bad shape, this is the last thing he needed. Poor guy has been through enough as it is."

Rebel, still focused on her medical book but clearly tuned into the conversation, added, "We'll keep a close eye on him, make sure he gets the rest and care he needs. But you're right, we need to be more vigilant. We can't let something like this happen again."

Thrash, leaning against the doorway, chimed in, "Agreed. And maybe it's time we teach that Grog a lesson on manners. Can't have him thinking he can just bully anyone who crosses his path."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I consider you as my friend, witnessing you in pain was agonizing. It stirred a profound anger within me. I have a strong desire to shield those I care about. I promise to stand by you and protect you from harm.

[cacturne]

tell me more about Heron!!! i need to know more!! what’s she like, is she romancing anyone, general attitude about being inquisitor? :)

OOHH YAY HERON TALK!!!

Let’s start with the whole Inquisitor thing first. Heron was honestly!! A tiny little bit freaked out!!! Like going from partly amnesiac prisoner to fake religious symbol (though even the people ensuring this would be an act seemed to believe it to some extent) to having leadership of the ENTIRE THING thrown into her hands was. A rollercoaster to say the least.

From the start Heron had been very cooperative, both to prove her innocence and because whatever she did in the conclave she wanted to set it right. She never thought it was her fault, she knew it wasn’t, but obviously that wound on her hand had something to do with it and fighting back will only make everything worse for everyone. She wanted this whole thing fixed as much as anyone else.

While in her mercenary group she was a great leader, and commanded squads of her own to great success while supporting them from the rear with her magic. She put the lives of her men over the job and respected everyone greatly, and thus was respected in return. As a person she was generally kind but also definitely crass in the way mercenaries are, she wasn’t afraid to throw playful insults and COULD drink you under the table. And she’d bet thirty silvers on that.

When prisoner and eventually joining the Inquisition she quickly stuffed all those crass traits into a closet somewhere and dedicated herself to trying to be the very symbol of humble and kindness. Everyone was already extremely skeptical about her because of the whole Qunari Apostate claiming to be the Herald of Andraste thing so she did everything in her power to come across as the most model citizen, which luckily worked and her reputation has greatly improved!

After the Inquisition starts gaining more notoriety and the bonds between Heron and the companions grow closer she does start to let that stuff slip more often during things like Wicked Grace or other general hangouts. It’s NOT anything drastic she just becomes like, a little witty and competitive instead of being the whole stalwart virtuous leader.

I think Varric actually said it best in a cutscene he was like “i’ve seen the inquisitor, but i haven’t seen you.” He hit the nail RIGHT on the head there. It’s not like Inquisitor mode is drastically different from who Heron usually is she does believe in what she does but outside closed doors she’s quick to not show… herself, really. She wouldn’t know the reason why if pressed but subconsciously it’s a fear of basically losing favor with people. Being seen as the stereotype they thought of her as and basically having the worst fall from grace ever because they have postured her as a person above all the others. Heron doesn’t know it but the expectations weigh heavy on her, especially because she never believed she was a Herald in the first place.

As for romance, she is romancing Josephine!! Because Josephine is literally the cutest i love her so much. There’s honestly no crazy dynamic or anything they just got along really well and it worked out in the end! Heron generally just spent more time with her because Josephine’s offices have been relatively quiet and she is like, one of the more normal people in both Haven and Skyhold. Which when you are grappling with the weight of the world on your shoulders is just a very nice atmosphere to be able to rest in. I could honestly not get over them waltzing at the Winter Palace they are SO prince and her princess… sorry.

Overall i would describe Heron as someone with a lot of burdens that she willingly carries, who is tremendously strong both as a person and a leader doing what she can to keep her people safe (even if that means having to eliminate others) while respecting them and being humble enough to always credit their part in a successful mission. She wants to lead with her people, not above her people. She’s kind and understanding and values diplomacy unless you’re a real piece of work. And she’s also just an absolute powerhouse on the battlefield, as she should be. She’s well-liked and if not liked she is at least respected, and she respects those she does not like back in turn.

[skyloftian-nutcase]

Hi Lofty!

Fellow Healthcare worker here, I think I remember you saying you work nights? I'm a dayshifter that will be transitioning to overnights in a month, and am both excited and scared since this will be something new not just for me but for my whole department.

I was curious, did you specifically choose nights, and how do you like it compared to days? I would think nights would be quieter, but I also know to expect the unexpected, and things can go from dead to hectic in an instant.

Also, do you have any advice for going to an overnight schedule? I'm sure my sleep and eating habits will be messed up for the first few weeks until I get into a routine, are there any other challenges you think I should expect?

Sorry to talk work, I know you probably come here to get away from that, but I don't really have anyone else to talk to and felt you are a safe person to talk to.

Anyway, have a good day/night/whenever you happen to be awake! (I am well aware our schedules can be very wacky)

Hello! :D

I did in fact specifically choose nights. On my unit you have the option to do just nights or to rotate, and you can request to go on a waiting list to work only day shift. I prefer nights, but it’s a mixed bag to be perfectly honest. (This got long so I’m putting everything under the cut)

What I like about nights is that there are fewer people (there aren’t eight thousand teams rounding through the room who never introduce themselves to me and come and go without telling me a darn thing, or they ask me a million questions), visitor restrictions apply (I love family coming to see the patient… just don’t love having to entertain them or be interrogated by them while I’m trying to do stuff lol), the coworkers are much chiller it’s a very different vibe between day workers and night workers, and no management.

What I don’t like about nights is essentially not work related - it freaking kills your life outside of work. Let’s say you work three nights in a row. When you get off it’s the morning of the next day, and you can either make yourself stay up and be a zombie but awake to enjoy that day off, or you sleep the entire day, which wastes a day off, and then you’re still nocturnal for your remaining time off, which makes doing normal people things difficult. It can strain your mental health, especially with lack of sunlight, so you just have to find a way to handle it that works best for you.

I will say, there is one more thing that I don’t like about nights: many providers feel like nights are just “status quo time,” in other words, don’t do any interventions to rock the boat. I’ve fought and argued with doctors multiple times for patients who are showing warning signs of decompensating only to be ignored because they don’t want to do anything drastic on night shift. Had it happen pretty recently and just about wanted to punch an intensivist (I had told the resident that we needed to temporize the patient’s K because it was 5.5, and given his AKI and low UO we should consider options like diuresing or even CRRT and since the resident was brand new she listened, but the intensivist later was like “eh you didn’t need to do that” and wouldn’t do anything about the pt’s nonexistent urine output and ATJEIWOAJFDKSALJFEIWO I do not like that man)

Advice for going to night shift! I’ll make it bullet points so I stop having these giant paragraphs:

When possible, try to cluster shifts together. That way you’re not constantly jumping back and forth with your sleep cycle

The day before you work, there are multiple ways to make yourself nocturnal in preparation. I usually push myself to stay up as late as possible, and go to bed between 4-7am. Others will take a nap in the afternoon before their shift.

Black out curtains are your beloved. They make sleeping during the day so much easier. If you can’t afford those at the moment, an eye mask is a cheaper and effective alternative.

Many of us need some kind of noise to help settle our minds after work since many go to bed directly after work. A fan, a white noise machine, anything like that. I personally like ambience videos off YouTube, rain and thunderstorms or crickets and stuff.

If you’re trying to fall asleep after a shift and it just ain’t happening, there are a few things you can try. If benadryl makes you sleepy, you can try using that, though I don’t necessarily recommend making it a habit so much as a backup plan. Some people say magnesium makes them sleepy. I’ve used alcohol before to help me sleep but it doesn’t promise the best sleep. Another option is carbs! I’ll eat just a couple slices of bread or something and then you get a nice little food coma feeling.

Try not to kill yourself with your caffeine intake lol. And note when to stop caffeinating so you can fall asleep! I usually have to stop by 4am or I won’t be able to sleep right after work. (Though lately I’ve given up on falling asleep right after work, it usually takes my mind a couple hours to settle down so I fall asleep closer to 10/11am or so)

Note that working nights is probably gonna take a toll on your mental and physical health. Take vitamin D supplements to compensate for the lack of daylight, it’ll help boost your mood too. A lot of us have light lamp therapy stuff too, especially for winter. Try to find a good balance of letting yourself rest at home to wind down and being with some kind of support system.

Have fun! Night shift crew is almost always awesome, we’re wacky and fun and laid back! :)

[acourtofthought]

I’m not sure if it’s ok for me to ask you this but I really like your posts and the way you interpret. Disclaimer: I am not antielain but I get confused with her sometimes. If anything I say comes off harsh I apologize and plz kno I didn’t mean that way. Just heads up this will be long

I guess I sometimes think ppl expect almost too much from elain. Part of it is because we don’t know much of her character/personality. Like ppl expect that she’ll do a complete 180 and prove us all wrong. I do think she will prove us wrong but not like that I guess? Not so drastic? I’m thinking similar to how Nesta grew in her book where it wasn’t a complete flip of her personality but it was a build up on it. I personally think that’s the whole point of these books it’s to learn to give love to ourselves (via the characters) rather than change ourselves or personalities”for the good of others”

So I think ppl associate bubbly chatty extremely giving bighearted personality to elain bc of how she was as human, before her life changed completely. But I don’t even see her as that back then? Basically there is a “type” I see assigned to her by fans and for me it’s just not quite there.

There is so much anti-elain content out there so I understand wanting to contradict that and disprove the haters. And I don’t mean to bash anyone, but I guess envisioning her in one “appropriate” way by fans is strange. I hear too many what ifs about her and ppl getting upset at those who don’t agree with the what ifs of her personality/character (those “what ifs” are treated like gospel)

Additionally- I saw a post of yours mention that elain might be disturbed about feyre’s pregnancy and how she might be upset with herself for not being acquainted with her powers to foresee it and I honestly love that. it’s an exciting addition to look forward to about elain, but couldn’t sjm have mentioned that in nesta’s book? Like a scene where the three sisters talk about it or something?? This is what I mean about seeing a lot of expectations for elain’s character. Dont get me wrong I love this idea and I theres a good chance e it’s true, but I have to see it be shown for her character and so far I’ve been given nothing. Also why didn’t anyone tell Elain that the childbirth could harm feyre?? Maybe she could’ve done something! That could add to Elain’s character right! Even if Elain isn’t involved with ic stuff that’s her sister. I mean, Elain was smiling at her sis by the end (could be hiding her pain of sisters almost-death maybe?). Do we really have to wait for Elain’s book to know that she was disturbed by the events of feyre’s childbirth?

An anti-elain thing I see is that she’s not very bright. I don’t agree with this. I’m thinking if she was always aware what was going on bw nesta and feyre could she have done nothing? Especially since nesta has said she would do anything for Elain’s happiness. What of feyre’s happiness u know?

Elain never hurt others like Nesta did but when it’s pointed out how kind she is, I do believe it, but I can’t help but wonder if she showed that kindness to her sister Feyre. Like Feyre is so quick to say that about Elain, and Elain did own up to her mistakes, but it’s hard not to imagine how Feyre must have felt as a kid. feyre is so sure of Elain’s love for her I’m just wondering where that surety comes from because as a reader there’s a bit of a disconnect to what makes feyre feel that way. Could it be feyre’s guilt of them turning fae? And then elain never blaming her sis for it? I think maybe a little of it is that feyre understands elain. Do you think elain is a dreamer im the sense that she wishes good things for all people? Elain did had a chance at happiness due to her family’s love for her, maybe id like to see more of it reflected for her family? Do something big for them? I know she shows them affection constantly, and i love that I think it’s so sweet, but it still doesn’t tell me enough about her. As of now, Elain to me comes off as someone who puts herself first (not selfish but just knows her worth, not self destructive like nesta ), which will be exciting to see from the classic self-sacrificial type of fantasy mc, she is someone who maybe isn’t always quite aware of what she needs to do but she was the will and desire for it, and lastly, though she focuses on her well being she is still aware of the feelings and concerns of those around her.

I guess I see that elain has some flaws and I’m okay with it. She’s probably hard on herself like Nesta is to herself. And I think she’ll probably still have a few hiccups along the way in her book which is always exciting in a book. I don’t tell myself that she’s this perfect, sweet, summerflower child who’s never done anything wrong. I think she is currently lost snd For now, could be changed later)I think that maybe this is the first or one of the few times where elain isn’t the one fully happy while others around her are l so it’s a new thing for her to understand, navigate, and find the happiness within herself and around her (she’s already doing some of that). Maybe she always found the happiness around her from things being good but now needs to find it within? Also she is now finding the part of herself she’s always maybe wanted to. Or now needs to be due to now being fae.

And why would it be wrong if she’s imperfect? What is this obsession with her being perfect knows it all who doesn’t owe anyone anything? Since the fandom likes to talk about these characters like they’re real- elain would most certainly not think of herself that way.

Maybe I’m not seeing it all clearly of her character? Sometimes it is hard for me to keep her character and personality separate I admit. I know she loves her family, I know she’s concerned about a lot that’s going on, but we only get like 1 instance of her showing anything and that’s it. So when the characters just keep saying this and that about Elain’s traits, but Elain is shown having that trait or quality once im ?? Where you at girl?

Ultimately I tell myself that it doesn’t matter how a character begins but rather how and what they grow into. I think being turned fae has forced her to do a lot of growing up (I don’t mean this in a bad way at all. As a reader, I think it’s v interesting)I’m willing to bet if sjm had done more planning from the start i would feel entirely different. I think im at a confusing spot with her character, but at a 100% hopeful&optimistic for her story kind of spot.

I’d love to hear your thoughts and If you don’t answer I completely understand. Frankly, I don’t want to add to any anti-elain discourse ( or even anti- nesta I love her) My intention wasn’t at all to bash Elain’s character. I am absolutely not an anti but if anything comes off sounding anti I apologize. I’m looking for some discussion and understanding of her honestly. I think the most important knowledge I’ve gained from your blog is that elain shouldn’t and can’t be compared to the other female characters of this series especially her sisters. I mean, none of the characters should even be compared, but yeah expecting her to be exactly the way her sisters are is not the way to go about understanding her character. I love your posts about elain and I very much like Elain thanks to you. I’m lowkey obsessed with elucien bc of you. and your posts are what got me interested in her character since you pay attention to her in such a healthy way.

Nothing you said came off harsh at all and I was excited to receive your message!

This is going to be long and rambling so I apologize in advance.

I absolutely agree that some seem to expect too much from Elain, both right now and later, especially when SJM has given us quite a bit of growth from her already and she's not going to become a completely different person.

She started off the series kind but fine with allowing herself to be taken care of. She still had thoughtful moments though, she used her "allowance" from Feyre to buy Feyre paints and to buy her father a new chisel rather than using it all on herself.

But by the end of ACOTAR, she started taking care of Feyre, planning the ball to honor her return, finding her a dress, preparing a horse and a satchel for her.

In ACOMAF, we see her apologize for failing Feyre, we see her willing to risk her engagement by letting Feyre use their manor to meet with the human queens.

In ACOWAR, after she had lost everything, she only spent weeks (maybe 2 months) sitting silently in her room in a depressed state. Then she started learning how to bake (and now helps cook for the IC) and thought of a way to help the humans, by having them head to Graysen's estate. Then she was cruelly rejected by Graysen, was kidnapped a second time but still helped save Briar and Az, then saved Cassian and Nesta (as well as many others) when she stabbed the king but then saw her fathers murdered body.

Though she mourned those things in ACOFAS, she still did not regress. She continued taking care of Feyre and Rhys's garden, began helping those in Velaris with their gardens, continued cooking for the IC. Then in SF we see her stand up to Nesta, see her offer to search for the Trove, see her go to the Hewn Cith with the others despite Feyre offering to let her stay home and despite the fact that it's cruelty bothers her.

I honestly don't know how anyone could expect anything else out of her before her own book and even after her own book, she's not going to morph into someone unrecognizable. She's not going to become a bloodthirsty, dagger wielding spy who thrives on going after the enemy and plotting their demise.

I see some claim she needs to get fed up with the others holding her back, where she'll head off on her own or seek out Lucien to help her. But where in Elain's personality has she ever shown to be rash? Where has she ever shown to be that angry with her sisters that she's going to go behind their backs to prove something? It's exactly like you said, Nesta's arc made sense for Nesta because that was within Nesta's personality.

If Elain has a problem, she addresses it with the person (as we saw in her argument with Nesta) and moves on. She was laughing by the end of SF when Nesta said "fuck you". She nearly watched Feyre and her nephew die in front of her. At the end of SF, Elain and Feyre were beaming at Nesta while Elain held Nyx in her arms.

Where in that is anyone getting the "I'm mad and I'm going to prove them all wrong!" vibe from Elain?

I have a feeling Elain's setup will be that of Rhys coming to Elain for help with something in Spring or the continent and that will kickstart her book. She's already told us that "she's part of the court and will do what is necessary" so all that we need to have happen is Rhys finally asking her to get her hands dirty. Her setup doesn't need to look like Nesta's did.

I do think we're going to see a different version of Elain when she's around her people (Lucien, Vassa, Helion, Jurian, the LoA), but to me that's kind of a given based on SJMs pattern of the FMC coming into her own once she's with her found family. So I do think we'll get more of the outgoing, life of the party version of Elain that we saw in ACOTAR, at least the Elain once she was overseeing their new manor and at the ball.

To your point about Elain feeling guilty, I don't think, if Elain were taking the events of Feyre's pregnancy onto herself, SJM would necessarily tell us that in SF. For one thing, Elain doesn't often share her deepest sorrows and regrets with her sisters. We know she's mourning her father because we're told how often she visited his grave but it's not because she sat down and had a deep heart to heart with Nesta or Feyre over it. Just like we had to wait for SF to see Nesta's complicated emotions over her fathers death, I think we'll have to wait for Elain's book to get inside her head and understand how she's processing everything that has been happening. For another, the end of SF was meant to wrap up Nesta's arc. We were meant to walk away with that HEA vibe for her character, not necessarily focusing on anyone else. I think SJM subtly hinted that we're about to have Elain's story when she closed out the book with the rose carving, when Nesta lets go this symbol of Elain and releases it into the world as a "permanent marker of beauty and good" but I don't think she wanted us majorly focusing on anyone else outside of Nesta and her journey.

For anyone calling Elain dumb, I think ACOFAS and SF prove how intelligent and aware Elain is. After Elain talks of traditions, Feyre notes her wisdom. In SF, Cassian notes how Elain had seen everything about Nesta and understood.

SJM has confirmed that Elain is a quiet dreamer, that she has a different strength than Feyre or Nesta, and that she expresses love openly in a way that Nesta always struggled with so I don't think we can deny those aspects of her personality, I'm not sure why people keep trying to claim her story can only happen if she spirals down the way Nesta did or until she gets angry at their treatment of her. I think it's more important to respect that because Elain is so different from her sisters, the start of her book might look different than what some expect and maybe she's going to simply internalize her frustrations then talk it out with them in her book. If she's even harboring resentment. I mean, SJM already had Elain call Nesta out for treating her like a child, she joined the others in the Hewn City as "part of the court", and she was laughing when Nesta swore at her and nearly lost both Nesta and Feyre at the end of the book so maybe Elain isn't really worried about resenting her sisters right now, maybe she's just glad they're all safe and alive.

I do think Feyre and Nesta see certain aspects of Elain's personality but as all sisters do, I think sometimes they are blinded by other aspects. I also think they at times see her in a way that makes them feel better about things. Like Nesta assuming Elain was fine and settled at the start of SF only for Elain to remind them that she's struggling too. However, I do think Elain isn't truly Elain around them either, that she hides some of who she is. Like Rhys said, she may have been worried about disappointing them.

And yes, Elain has flaws (as they all do). It's funny that some will claim she's one dimensional while complaining about her flaws in the next breath. If she's canonically kind, loving and makes them all laugh at times while also being flawed....then how can she be one dimensional? I think it's because some are expecting her character to look like that of Feyre or Nesta's characters and the other badass female warriors in the series (or her other series). And that's a very narrow minded view, to only think someone is interesting if they look like every other single warrior heroine that SJM has written.

And despite her flaws, she has never lashed out at the other characters and I don't think she's given enough credit for that. She was afraid of the fae yet willingly opened up her home to them, has treated Feyre's found family with kindness from the start, made sure Feyre had a special cake for her birthday and has never blamed Feyre for what happened to her, held Feyre when Feyre was breaking down after Elain's kidnapping (so yes, I do think she has shown Feyre kindness ever since Feyre returned to the human lands in book 1).

Like you said, it's not that she's so much selfish as in "I do what I want regardless of how it affects others" so much as 1) she is more of an optimist and it's not easy for an optimist to understand a pessimists pov because optimists are constantly trying to focus on what's good and 2) she does seem to have a sense of her own worth and isn't going to beat herself down the way Nesta did, at least not to the extreme level did. She can still struggle with things while not self sabotaging. It's the same with Az and Lucien. Both Az and Lucien struggle with self worth and trauma but only one of the two is constantly trying to risk his life in foolish ways, arguing against orders, fixating on things he has no control over (i.e. Mor / mating bonds), brooding, distancing himself from the group. The other, despite his sadness, tries his best to focus on what he can control and I think that's Elain to a tee (T?).

And Elain has been open about the things she wants but she's never forced others to do them for her. For example, Nesta asked Elain whether she wanted to head to Prythian in book 2 or stay and Elain said she had to stay. Because she was engaged. So logically, it makes sense that she would. But never did she insist that Nesta had to stay with her, Nesta chose to stay. Elain should be allowed to make her own choices without someone calling her selfish.

I think she definitely could be labeled as selfish in the first two chapters of ACOTAR but I don't think we can say the same by the end of that first book. Some will claim Elain was selfish for bringing up their father to Nesta when, if she were observant as is claimed, she should have seen Nesta didn't want to talk about him, but.....Elain should be able to talk to her sister about their father because Elain lost him too. The trauma of their fathers death did not soley belong to Nesta (especially considering Elain actually loved him meaning she lost someone she was extremely close with) and while Nesta had a right to say she didn't want to talk about him, Elain is not wrong for attempting to bring him up in the first place.

And your comment:

"Ultimately I tell myself that it doesn’t matter how a character begins but rather how and what they grow into"

is hitting the nail on the head. Elain was meant to start in one place then grow from there but she's not going to grow into her full self until she's with the right people in the right place. I think the reason Elain's personality doesn't jump out to many is because she's not in the right place with the right people, just like Feyre wasn't fully herself in Spring and only came into who she was meant to be once she was in the NC. And maybe the reason there was more room for SJM to show us Nesta's personality was because as soon as Nesta ended up in the NC, she was with the right people in the right place. Her struggle came from letting go of her own self hatred but it was clear that she was free to be herself, even act out, because she belonged.

If Elain was super sassy, bubbly and outgoing in the Night Court then the entire narrative that SJM has built for her falls apart. She's got her full personality on mute because she's still waiting to find her own path with her own people and it's only then that her sisters will finally see her for all that she is too.

That's what I wish some in the fandom would understand about Elain. That they really shouldn't villain-ize a character for at times seeming odd and out of place, where she's in the background and not involved in the way the others because SJM has been hinting at her having to leave the NC before she can become true FMC energy. She's not going to have that energy before her book though even when she does, she's still going to be recognizable. She's still going to be loving and kind, she's still going to make friends easily, she's still going to want sunshine and nature. I think anyone trying to keep her in the NC tries to reason away the fact that they'd be sucking out a major part of her personality by claiming "Velaris has sunshine too! She can just avoid the Hewn City!" That's like saying someone can get the same sunshine in Alaska as they can the Bahamas.

But until it's time for her full arc, SJM has to keep Elain in a bit of a holding pattern since she's been driving home the narrative that she doesn't fit in where she's at. Elain isn't boring or worthless, she's just waiting for a reason to leave the NC and do her thing (again, something that won't happen until her book) and her individual journey can not be compared to Nesta's because no matter how much she fought it, Nesta always belonged in the NC and it was made clear to readers from the start.

[sinfulwrites]

An Open Letter.

To you.

Hello everyone.

I made this blog back in 2021, and since then I’ve been so lucky to garner as many followers and mutals. More than I ever expected to have. When I started this blog, it wasn’t to build a following, but instead to be a platform to post the works I was too embarrassed to share with any of the people who knew me. To this day, this reigns true, aside from the embarrassment. This blog helped me gain confidence to stand by what I enjoy, even if others think it’s weird. Seeing so many people enjoy what I wrote and relate to what I was saying helped me grow as a person, a person I’m much more proud of than the person who made this blog back in 2021.

Obviously, I have been away for a while. A whole year, I believe. My life has changed drastically since I started writing, it all changed when I met my now fiance @general-nerdy, all through my little stories. I won’t be too sappy, but to say she changed my life would be an understatement. I moved from my home to live with her, and our lives have had lots of ups and downs along the way. Life got busy, much busier than I was anticipating. Soon, I completely forgot about writing. My brain was so fried, I couldn’t even try to write out a sentence. Soon, writing just wasn’t a priority in my life anymore. My life was, my then girlfriend was. It was just like the stories I would write, except better, since I actually got to be a part of my own story. 

Now and then, however, I would come back to my blog. Read my old works. Read over old conversations with some mutuals. Look back on my old asks. I’m still surprised I managed to write all I did for the people requesting works, I feel if I tried now I wouldn’t be as successful. 2021 me was a different beast entirely. 

I remember when I was younger, I would always get so sad and frustrated when someone I followed would stop writing. Back then I had no idea what went into maintaining a blog like this, and the blog itself is only a fraction of it. Maintaining relationships with my followers, keeping up with deadlines I would give myself to post my work… It’s all so much more work than I was ever anticipating. It’s ironic now that I look back on it, I became the very author I used to be upset with when I was younger. I hate to let everyone down, especially since I know how many people enjoyed my works and enjoyed engaging with me. My time on my blog will be forever held dear to me, regardless of whether or not my blog goes back to how it was back then.

I want to write again. I want to tap into my creative juices and I want to share it all with you. I don’t know when that will be, I can’t promise anything; I won’t promise anything. Not if I can’t keep the promise. But I want to. Here’s to hoping! And to all my new followers, welcome to the blog! I hope I can get to know all of you as well.

Also, for the people invested in Chromeskull has entered the chat, me and @general-nerdy have been hard at work on the latest chapter! Hoping to post it soon.

Thank you.

sinfulwrites

[sol-consort]

heyy its the Jack hc’s anon. I was thinking like affection/fluff hc’s about her and Shepard(either Renegade or Paragon) Cannon gives us so little about her apart from the 1 scene in me2 and m3 :(( Or maybe a scenario of a Renegade!Shepard actually taking up her offer to go pirate after the Suicide mission instead of heading to Earth? She’s such a ride or die of a person that i can 100% see it happening. Now that I’m replaying the games actually (just finished 2 again) it seems so out of character for like 80% of the crew to just give Shepard up with little to no fight or maybe that’s just my opinion. I have a. love/hate relationship with the writing of the end of ME2. What are your thoughts on it?( or maybe im just heading in with too much expectation after playing BG3)

a little personal headcannon of mine is that she writes Shepard short poems but refuses to show them to anyone :)

Alright, I've added fluffy Jack headcanons to my list! I'll post it in some days.

And omfg yes! Poetry! I've read the Shadowbroker intel on her and god her poem was actually good. It's so endearing how she managed to find an artistic release for her emotions, especially with how much she tries hard to appear tough on the surface.

I see her writing down her emotions on Shepard since the first time her heart fluttered, and up to the time she actually admitted her feelings. How she's not used to this. Sex is just sex, nothing big. But love? Actual love? She feels like a fish out of water. Very clumsily trying to find her way through this.

For the pirate thing, I actually theorise that she didn't mean it when she first suggested it. That she just said that to get Shepard to leave Cerberus and maybe Jack planned to bacstab you afterwards.

But Ironically, the more she got to know you afterwards, the more she fell in love and the pirate offer with her as your executionor starting sounding a little too sincere. What started as a manipulation tactic, quickly evolved into a genuine dream of hers that she hoped you wouldn't forget.

For Paragon Shepard, they do surrender themselves to the alliance right? I'm not sure what Renegade Shepard does but I don't think they'd want to make themselves a wanted war criminal on the run, Renegade priorities their self interest first and still holding onto their hero fame and statues by complying with the alliance seems the most self serving even if they hate it.

I romanced Thane, and he mentioned that he tried to get in touch, but the Alliance blocked all his attempts. And he's like a master assassin. He never uses his real name or leaves a trail behind. So imagine how intense the security must have been around Shepard.

Even Miranda needs our help to get access to the Alliance files in ME3. Miranda. The Alliance really are no joke, and even Cerberus struggle with them, so imagine being one pirate on the run from them.

I assume everyone else also tried to get into contact with Shepard but got blocked or stopped before anything could reach their commander. Especially since Shepard was kept on earth, any alien would stand out there, and hitting the hornet's nest is never a good idea.

The only ones with the slightest chance of making it to Shepard would've been Joker, Ashley, and Kaidan.

For me the ending of ME2 with the batarians whole things just feels...forced? Like they needed Shepard to do something drastic so they threw it in. The reapers coming through the relay felt so out of place with the whole collectors thing.

Because the do come eventually, they do arrive later in ME3 so what difference did it make but make Shepard go under court for a while? They did it to delay the reapers and give people more time to prepare for the war, but no one prepared shit. They arrive and kick earth in the balls and all of thos batarians died for nothing.

I mean at least if they had died from the reapers then the blood wouldn't have been on Shepard's hands, and the rest of the galaxy would've had a little bit more time to prepare while the reapers are busy with the batarians. Earth wouldn't have been patient number zero.

If they had believed Shepard, It would've have been worth it. But they didn't, nothing changed. And now I'm just more pissed at the asair and how the favouritism they got from the protheons and the way they threw it away and hoarded knowledge.

I am also pissed at Liara's response to thussia when Shepard and Garrus both witnessed the literal same thing but oh it's okay for humans and turians to watch their planets burn, it's only bad when the poor asari have it done to them because they're hot you see :(

Like I usually adore Liara and her writing, she proves your expectations wrong at every turn but they massively dropped the ball with Thussia and making her have a breakdown over it when she hasn't showed the slightest remorse for when earth was burning or Garrus saw the city he was born in ablaze. I feel like they made her weaker on purpose just to have a scene of us comforting her, when normal Liara would've took it in stride like the soldier shadowbroker she is.

Also I adore Jack's character development in ME3 because that's exactly the direction I hoped they'd go for when I took her on the biotics field suicide mission in ME2. My vision was that I wanted to show her that she can protect others with her biotics and not just harm people.

And that's exactly what she does with her little guys, she is so protective of them and encouraging. She knows what it's like to grow up alone with no friends, she has had it worse than most kids and she felt all the pain. Yet she gave her students none of the pain, she broke the cycle of abuse by herself without our help and wanted to be a better person for them.

She wanted to become the person she needed most when she was a kid, I admire her for that.

[regenderate-fic]

In the Aftermath

Fandom: Doctor Who Ships: Fourteenth Doctor/Yasmin Khan Characters: Fourteenth Doctor, Yasmin Khan Rating: General Word Count: 3,688 Other Tags: Reunions

Read on AO3

Summary: Finally ready to explain everything, the Doctor knocks on Yaz's door.

NOTES: i feel like i haven't posted anything in a million years… hi everyone :)

Yaz didn't expect the knock on her door.

For one thing, it was late at night. She'd just gotten home from a busy shift, and she was sort of looking forward to sprawling out on her sofa with a takeaway and some truly awful television. She was glad she'd gone for the EMT course, but wow, did Sheffield have some exhausting emergencies. 

For another thing, no one just… knocked on her door. They texted ahead of time to ask if they could come by. Especially at this time of night. 

The knock came again. Yaz sighed. Probably one of her neighbors was locked out or something. Well, if that was the case, she was the right person to ask, after that lockpicking demo Houdini had given her, and then all the practice she'd gotten. She made her way to the door—

—and opened it to a total stranger. Middle aged white man, by all appearances, and not one of her neighbors, or at least, she would've remembered if one of her neighbors had hair like that and went around matching their trousers to their waistcoat. Or went around wearing a waistcoat at all, for that matter—

Hang on. That fashion sense—something felt familiar. 

This wasn't a stranger. 

Yaz's heart leapt into her throat. 

She could see it in the way they held themself, the way they were rocking back on their heels, the way their silence hung brightly in front of them as they waited for her to make the first move. She opened her mouth, only to realize she had no idea what to say—

What came out was, “It's midnight.”

“Oh. Sorry. Lost track of—”

“Yeah, I know.” Yaz raised her eyebrows. “So are you going to come in, or what?”

“Oh! Right! Yes! Coming in!” Their accent had changed, Yaz noted. She wasn't sure why she'd expected it to stay the same. Now she thought about it, she wondered why the change hadn't been more drastic—they'd been Scottish before, she was pretty sure, and then Northern, and now London, but why did they seem limited to just the one island when there was a whole world full of Anglophone accents out there? 

She shook her head. It didn't matter. She stepped away from the doorframe, and they followed her into the kitchen. 

“Nice place,” they remarked, looking around. Yaz followed their gaze. There was nothing particularly special about her kitchen—it had come with the flat, and featured the nondescript wooden cupboards and white counters. She’d hung up some string lights, and she kept the place clean, but mostly it looked like any other kitchen in any other rented flat.

“Nice enough,” she said. She nodded at the electric kettle, which was blowing steam in the corner. “I was just making a cup of tea. D’you want one?”

“Oh, sure.” 

Yaz glanced over at them. Their eye was still moving around the space, taking everything in—yes, definitely familiar. And the way they slouched against one of the counters, head tilted back… Yaz felt a pang of bittersweet affection, so intense and sudden she had to look away.

“What sort of tea?” she asked. “Matcha? Chamomile? Peppermint? Earl Grey?” She glanced back. “Bit late for caffeine, if you’re constrained to linear time—” 

“No, yes, that’s a good point.” They nodded. “Better be chamomile, then.”

“Right.” Yaz opened her tea drawer, plucked out two chamomile teabags, dropped them into the mugs, filled the mugs with hot water. She picked them both up and turned, holding one out as an offering—they took it, turning a critical eye to the galaxy-print mug.

“This is nice,” they said.

“Thanks,” Yaz said. “Gift from Sonya.”

“Right, right. How is Sonya?”

“Same as always.” Yaz smiled. “Still a menace.”

They laughed. “Sorry to hear it.” 

Yaz raised her eyebrows. “So. What have you been up to?” 

“Er—” Their eyes darted around the room, and yes, that was familiar too, the way they looked at their surroundings like a cornered prey animal, as if it was their house and Yaz was the one who'd knocked on the door late at night. “Could we maybe sit down?”

“‘Course.” Yaz led them to the little table in the corner of the room. They sat across from her, and Yaz eyed them as they sipped slowly from the galaxy-print mug. “You're different,” she said. 

They tilted their head to the side, attentive, but they didn’t say anything. They just looked at her, brows drawn together, waiting to hear what she would say next. 

Yaz swallowed. “I mean—” What did she mean? “You never used to be able to sit still like that.” She nodded at their arms, crossed at their chest, and their feet, planted firmly on the ground, and their eyes, trained entirely on Yaz. “How long has it been?”

“Oh, not so long. Few weeks, maybe?”

Yaz’s eyebrows shot up. “A few weeks?”

“Yes, I know, I should’ve come sooner—”

“Doctor,” Yaz said. “It’s been over a year.”

They went quiet at that. 

“I’ve been here, worried about you, for over a year.” 

“I’m sorry.” 

Yaz’s eyes widened. It wasn’t just that they’d apologized—the Doctor had done that plenty. But the way they said it—slowly, carefully, with mavity and weight behind it—even though she'd begged and pled for this, Yaz had never, ever thought she'd actually get it. Especially not a full year after she’d walked out of the TARDIS forever. 

“I shouldn't have kicked you out.” They took a deep breath. “I should've told you what was going on. I—” They were studying their hand, tilting it back and forth in front of them. “I wasn't ready yet. It's not an excuse, I just—” They shook their head. “I'm sorry,” they said again, and they looked just enough like a kicked puppy that Yaz couldn't help but smile. 

“I've missed you,” she said.

“I've missed you too.”

“You've really hurt me.” Yaz found herself fiddling with the string on her teabag, her fingers twisting so that it twined around them, staring at the thin lines the tea-stained thread left in her skin. “UNIT had to find me a therapist who wouldn't tell me I was delusional.”

They grimaced. “I've got one too. Also from UNIT. Not the same one, I hope.”

“I’d assume not,” Yaz said. “Being your therapist is probably a full-time job on its own, actually. No time for other clients.”

They laughed. “Quite right. That's part of why I'm here, actually.” They hesitated. “Well—not here, here. Although—that too. But I mean—on Earth, here.”

“What, so you can do therapy?” Yaz tried to imagine it. How did their sessions even go? 

“Sort of.” They paused. “I had—maybe you could call it an out-of-body experience?”

Yaz raised her eyebrows. 

“Or—an in-body experience, but with another body, also mine, next to me.” They shake their head. “It's a long story. I'll tell it, if you like, but—” They took a deep breath. “What I came here to say is, I'm sorry I hurt you.”

Yaz suppressed a gasp. 

The Doctor had never looked at her like this, had never met her eyes with so few reservations, so few barriers. 

“Therapy’s working, then?” she joked, and then she winced, because this was no time for that sort of joke. “Sorry. I mean—” She returned their eye contact and exhaled, dispelling all her self-consciousness and worry so that she could mean it, totally and completely, when she said, “Thank you.”

She saw the moment they heard it, the moment the tension went out of their shoulders, the moment they sighed in relief. After a long inhale, they added, “Can I—I mean—do you still want to hear everything? Can I tell you?” 

Yaz looked at them. It had been over a year since she’d seen them last—over a year since Let’s not say goodbye, since Can we just live in the present?, since I want to tell you everything. She’d done a lot, in that year. Spent time learning how to be on her own, how to be herself, how to live an interesting life even if the Doctor wasn’t there. And she’d come to terms with the fact that she wouldn’t know, could never know, what it was that had the Doctor racing from adventure to adventure, chasing after total strangers, putting herself and Yaz in constant danger.

But—here they were. The Doctor. Every cell in their body had changed, and they’d still come back for Yaz.

She swallowed. “Okay,” she said. “I’d like that.”

“You remember,” the Doctor began, “when we went to Gallifrey?”

Yaz nodded. She remembered only too well: the strange, shining portal; running into a jarringly unfamiliar TARDIS; the Doctor’s tear-stained face.

“The Master showed me something from Time Lord history.” The Doctor set down their mug. “Something—about me, as it turned out.”

Yaz waited.

“They lied to me.” The Doctor’s voice was low and rough. “They said I was one of them.”

“And you're not?”

The Doctor shook their head. “They—this woman—she found me.”

“Found you?”

“As a kid. Found me, took me in.” They took a deep breath. “Did you know, there wasn't always such a thing as a Time Lord? It's a rank, not a species. Got a bit muddled, later on, but—” A long pause. “I was the first.” The way they said it—Yaz could hear the tears in their voice. They sounded so childlike, so helpless—and they continued—“They didn't have regeneration before me. I fell—died—came back—” They looked up at Yaz. “My adopted mother was a scientist.”

The words hung in the air for a long moment. 

“She—” Yaz began, unsure how to ask the question. 

“She experimented on me. Killed me, over and over again. Figured out how to use my regeneration energy on herself. Made me work for her military organization. And then, when she was done with me, she wiped my memory and made me do my childhood over again.”

Yaz’s hands were trembling on her mug. She set it down. “That's awful.” 

“I met her.” 

“What, recently?”

“When I got turned into an angel.” When Yaz had spent four years traveling the world, trying to get back to the Doctor. “They took me to her. She was—she was destroying the universe because of me.”

Yaz frowned. “What's the logic there?”

“She thought I was a threat to her organization,” the Doctor said. “I don't—it doesn't make sense. I'm not sure it's supposed to make sense.” They paused. “She was trying to start over. With another universe. Because I had ruined her plans for the first one.”

“That's—” Yaz stopped short. There weren't words to describe what that was. 

“It’s not an excuse,” the Doctor said. “For how I treated you, I mean.”

Yaz tilted her head to the side. “Isn’t it? I mean—I spent years trying to figure out what could’ve happened that you were reacting like that. Trying to figure out what—in any universe—could justify the way you were acting.” She shook her head. “This—I mean—it blows all my old theories out of the water.”

“Oh? What theories were those?”

“Thought you might’ve stolen something. Or had something stolen from you. Or else you were just sad that Gallifrey was destroyed. Or maybe there was something with you and the Master I didn’t know about.”

“You weren’t far off, then,” the Doctor said. “Something was stolen from me, and I’ve stolen plenty. And I’ll always be sad about Gallifrey, and the Master.” Suddenly, in the dim light of the kitchen at midnight, Yaz could see every exhausted line in the Doctor’s face, the weariness in their eyes. They were thousands of years old. It was easy to forget, when they looked like any other human, but now it was impossible to overlook—Yaz could feel the full weight of all those years seeping through the Doctor’s expression. “It’s just that there’s more. So much more. And I never would’ve known if the Master hadn’t told me.”

“Doctor,” Yaz breathed. “I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t you go apologizing to me,” the Doctor said. “Not when I came here to apologize to you.”

Yaz smiled. “It’s not like apology is a limited resource. I think there’s enough to go around.”

“Suppose you’re right.” The Doctor looked at her, their hand absently tracing the rim of their mug. “You seem to be doing all right for yourself?”

“Could be worse.” Yaz shrugged. “Place is nice. I’ve got a good job. Some days I forget my family thinks I’m four years younger than I actually am.” She fiddled with her teabag. “Feels like a dream, sometimes. The time I spent with you. If I didn’t have the others, maybe I’d believe it was one.” 

“The others—Ryan and Graham?”

“Them too,” Yaz said. She looked at the Doctor. “Hang on, has no one told you?”

“Told me what?”

“Tegan and Ace started a support group,” Yaz said. “For all your old friends.” 

The Doctor’s mouth dropped open. “Hang on. Is Mel involved? Mel Bush?”

Yaz nodded.

“And she didn’t tell me?” They looked so hurt, Yaz had to laugh.

“I think you not knowing about it is sort of the point,” she said. 

“Still. I will be having words with Mel.” 

“Was wondering why I hadn’t heard from her in a couple weeks. Thought it was just that she was busy with UNIT.”

“Well, in fairness, UNIT was taking up a good deal of her time.” 

Yaz hesitated. “Was that—I mean, when the whole world went totally unreasonable, and me and Ryan and Ace were on Sheffield cleanup duty? Ace said UNIT was involved. She kept passing on messages from Kate.”

“You’re not working with them, then?”

Yaz shook her head. “Kate offered. All felt a bit too military for me. There’s a reason I quit the police.” She paused. “But, you know, something comes up, I help where I can. Didn’t love being the only sane EMT in Sheffield, mind.” 

“Oh, you're an EMT now?”

“Why did you think I was up so late?” Yaz smiled. “Evening shift. Just passed the training a couple months ago.”

The Doctor smiled back, their eyes bright and warm. “Yasmin Khan,” they said. “Look at you. Still saving lives.”

“Doctor,” Yaz parroted. “Look at you. Slowing down.”

“Oh, don't worry. I'm still traveling. Same as ever. Just taking breaks in between.” They hesitated. “You could join me, one of these days. Quick trip. Can almost guarantee it won't be dangerous.”

Yaz had spent a whole year coming to terms with the fact that she would never travel with the Doctor again. It had taken her months to really, truly, accept that as fact. Getting in the TARDIS again could undo all that progress—but she looked at the Doctor, so different but so very unchanged, and a soft, warm feeling expanded in her chest at the thought of traveling with them again. 

“I’d like that,” she said. And then her brain caught up to her mouth, and she added, “Only one trip at a time, and you'll have to get me back to the time and place we left. I've got a job I like now, and I don't fancy losing it ‘cause my alien friend from outer space keeps taking me on adventures.”

The Doctor’s eyes were loaded with affection. “Quite right.” 

“Text me beforehand, too,” Yaz added. “None of this materializing out of nowhere business.” 

“Your number’s the same?” the Doctor checked.

Yaz nodded.

“All right, then. I’ll text you.” They paused. “I’m getting better at all this scheduling business, you know. Living as a human, and all that. Actually, you should come by my house sometime. Should’ve offered that before the time travel.” 

“You have a house?” 

“Oi, what’s so surprising about that?” the Doctor asked. “It’s in London. Decent size place, all for me, only I’ve got some friends—family, sort of—who’re always around. The TARDIS is nice, but it’s hardly got a mailing address.”

“Are people sending you letters?” Yaz asked.

“Mostly bills,” the Doctor mumbled. “Y’know. For the house.” 

“So, you need a house so you can have a mailing address, and you need the mailing address so you can get bills for the house?” Yaz was holding back laughter, and doing a terrible job of hiding it.

“I didn’t come here to be mocked,” the Doctor protested. “Thrown out, all right, that would’ve been fine. Expected it, really. But—mockery? That’s too far. Anyway, without a house, I wouldn’t have a garden, would I? And without a garden, no one would come round for tea, and I quite like having people come round for tea. I could have you come round for tea! Pick you up in the TARDIS, have you there and back in an afternoon—”

Yaz carefully did not mention the miles and miles of gardens she’d walked through on the TARDIS. “I’d be honored,” she said. “And maybe I can meet these friends of yours?”

The Doctor’s face lit up. “Yes! Brilliant! You’ll like my friends. They’ll love you. Well, you already know Mel, of course, but Donna—she’s sort of a special case. Didn’t remember me—couldn’t—until she could again—and she’s got this daughter, and—oh, you’ll love them. I love them.”

Yaz felt a rush of affection for the Doctor, her Doctor, that overeager alien sitting in her living room, drinking tea and talking a mile a minute, full of enthusiasm, full of love for the universe and everything in it, despite all this universe had taken from them. 

“I’m sure I will,” she said. She set down her mug on the table. “You know, it’s good to see you again. Wasn’t sure I would. Wasn’t sure I wanted to.”

“I wasn’t going to come,” the Doctor said. “Not yet, anyway. Except I told Donna about you—about everything—and she said if I didn’t at least try to apologize, she’d slap me across the face.”

“Good friend, that Donna.”

The Doctor beamed. “I know.” They took a deep breath, their smile settling into a more serious expression. “Really, though. Thank you for not slamming the door in my face.” 

“Anytime.” 

“And—” The Doctor hesitated. “I’ll go in a moment—don’t want to disrupt anything—

“It’s all right—”

“—but I had one more thing I wanted to say to you. If you’ll hear it.” They were fiddling with the teabag again, avoiding Yaz’s eyes in a way that made her a little nervous. She’d already heard the Doctor’s deepest secret—what else could they say?

“Of course I’ll hear it,” she said anyway.

The Doctor nodded. “Right. It’s just that—I seem to be more open, this time round, even without the rest and the therapy. And it occurs to me that there are loads of people I can never see again, never talk to. And most of those people, I never really told them what I wanted to tell them. Particularly, I never really told them how I—what they meant to me.”

Yaz found herself chewing on her lower lip. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.” Their eyes were glistening. “And it occurs to me, I suppose, that I never told you either, not really, not properly, and—well, I’m lucky you’re still here, aren’t I?”

Yaz waited. 

“So—” They swallowed. “In the name of healing, and being open, and all the people I’ve missed the chance to say it to—I just wanted to tell you that I really did love you, Yasmin Khan. Still do.”

Yaz felt tears in her eyes and an ache in her throat before she’d even fully processed what they’d said. She stood, and the Doctor stood too—she took two big steps to reach them and pulled them into a tight hug. Her head rested against their shoulder, and they dropped their forehead forward to rest against her hair. They were taller now, their arms a little longer, their hair prickly with gel for some reason, and it took Yaz a second to adjust to the unfamiliar familiarity of their cool skin and warm breath. 

“I think I’ll always love you,” she whispered, as close as she could come to a true confession, and she felt the contradiction of the Doctor’s back and shoulder muscles relaxing while their arms tightened around her. Yaz held on for another moment, partially basking in the peace the Doctor’s touch brought, partially horrified that she could fall back into this so easily, and then she pulled back. “I’ll see you soon? I have Thursday off—”

“Thursday, then,” the Doctor said. “I’ll text you.” 

“Right.” Yaz held their eyes for another long moment. Finally, she leaned up and pressed a kiss to the Doctor’s cheek. “I’ll see you Thursday. And you can introduce me to all your friends. And tell Mel we miss her at the support group, yeah?”

“‘Course.” The Doctor gave her a two-fingered salute, at which Yaz rolled her eyes good-naturedly. 

“Have a safe trip home,” she deadpanned, sure the TARDIS was parked around the corner or something, waiting to take the Doctor back to their brand new house.

“I will, thanks.” The Doctor grinned. “Did you know, UNIT’s kept my old car from when I was stuck on Earth in the ‘70’s?”

Yaz’s jaw dropped. “You drove here?”

“Told you I was settling down a bit, didn’t I?” 

“Then I wish a safe trip to everyone who has the misfortune of sharing the road with you,” Yaz teased. 

“Oi, I’m not that bad. Don’t want to risk damage to the car. She’s an antique.”

Yaz waved a hand. “Get out of here before I start making fun of you for calling your car she.”

“Her name’s Bessie,” the Doctor added, but they were already backing away from Yaz, towards the door. “I’ll text you when I get back to London, if that’ll help your peace of mind.”

“Sure,” Yaz said, shaking her head. “I’ll see you Thursday.” 

“See you.” The Doctor left, the door swinging shut behind them, and Yaz sank back down into her chair. 

She was going to have a lot to tell her therapist this week. 

And yet when she woke up, the next morning, to a text from the Doctor—Home safe!—she couldn’t help but smile.

...

END NOTES: you can pry the mavity bit from my cold dead hands.

also i have a couple ideas for more stories after this one, i wanted to have them talk a bit more about the doctor's gender in this one but i realized that's probably a later conversation, and then also i have a picture of yaz and the doctor winding up in a bit of a relationship but explicitly polyamorous and yaz getting a new partner who's just a normal human and slowly figures out that something Weird is going on with their metamour(s).

[kitsunexkang]

talk | louie & kang

for: @louiegrimaldi year: past - 2055 location: somewhere in chissob hills

They were camping out in an abandoned building in Chissob Hills that night to wait. Some information about a group of captive supernaturals being moved from one location to another had come down the line from Caleb Lycaon and Kang had been the first to volunteer for the rescue mission. It had become normal for him to do so after so many years and in recent weeks, it was serving as an excellent distraction that he could throw himself into.

Mercy had been rescued a couple of months ago and Louie had been so caught up in dealing with it all in the weeks leading up to it until his plan finally succeeded. It was joyous to know for a fact and to see Mercy alive and to have her back again, but the deity was far from whole. What she had been put through over the last few years under the P.S. Group had broken her, for lack of a better word, and Louie was clearly distraught because of it. 

Kang knew for a fact that he felt exactly what Louie was feeling. Mercy had been and still was a good friend of his, and seeing the couple reunited after so long had Kang feeling overjoyed, but there was something else that also weighed heavy in the fox spirit’s heart. Over the years, Kang’s feelings for Louie had somehow developed into something different... something more that he never properly understood until he saw Mercy in Louie’s arms in the days that followed.

The fox spirit felt guilty for feeling that way. Jealousy had no place between them, especially when they were all friends and Mercy was in such a state, but Kang learned soon enough that emotions were not something one could control so easily.

With the time he usually spent with Louie had drastically reduced so that the witch could be with his lover, Kang found that throwing himself head first into missions was at least a productive way to pass the time. If he had been a bit more impulsive or careless during said missions without his usual partner around, no one dared say anything. 

What Kang had not expected that evening was Louie’s presence. The witch had made a surprise appearance after they had barely spoken for awhile and just like how they used to do it, volunteered for the mission alongside Kang.

“I didn’t think I’d see you taking missions again so soon...” he said from where he was seated on the floor of the abandoned house, his back against a wall as he looked Louie over. “How has Mercy been doing?”

[barbatos-sama]

questions and fears i have about this new potential life i'd have:

• i worry in general about the cats because my dad was upset about "animal hoarding" during the fight and i worry he'd want to get rid of animals or something. my mom can't take any animals with her because of my sister's pitbulls so she can't even take her dog with her, she's devastated that she'll be separated from her dog and she says she's gonna have to give him to my grandma. the dog'll be devastated too because he has bad separation anxiety for her and already cries the whole day she's at work so as much as i don't like the guy i feel sorry for him because the poor thing might die of heartbreak. i would hope he wouldn't make us get rid of any cats because he's attached to them, especially to gizmo. i would genuinely hate that man if he made me give up any of my cats but im Pretty sure he's not evil enough to do that

• i'm gonna have to scoop all six litter boxes OTL i can barely take care of my own personal hygiene right now let alone that

• is he gonna go shopping? he hates going outside and doesn't leave the house almost every day like my mom does so we won't have groceries nearly as often. we've never been one of those families who gets groceries once a week or on a schedule or anything so like if i run out of one of my safe foods am i gonna have to wait days to get it? speaking of food i'm not gonna be able to get fast food really anymore because my mom won't be able to bring it to me and my dad won't want to ): i know it seems like a trivial thing but food is a big deal to someone with arfid

• is he gonna expect me to clean? like yeah my mom is too lazy to clean most of the time but she's still the one that cleans more often than he does. i've honestly Wanted to start doing more around the house bc i feel like a parasite and i want to pull my weight (even tho i hate cleaning up other ppls messes) but like i said im so depressed i can barely do Anything lately

• when my mom said that i would want to live with him he snapped back "marshals gonna live with whoever she wants to live with" meaning he might be Expecting im gonna move out or he might kick me out of the house or something and i just cannot handle that, like if he expects me to move out im gonna tell him i'll kill myself because truly i probably would, this house is all ive ever known and i just cannot leave

• my mom's car barely runs and she won't be able to afford to get a new one. it leaks out toxic smelling fumes and i worry breathing it in is unhealthy for her

• corbyn's life is also gonna change drastically cause he's used to being over here like half the time so he also loves this house and i doubt my dad would want to babysit him anymore. meaning my sister will have to find a babysitter since despite my mom living at my sisters she's gonna have to go to work so Someone's gotta take corbyn yknow. so that's gonna financially effect my sister as well. and i doubt he's gonna understand what's going on because he's allergic to listening to people and taking in information so he'll probably be asking to come over to "grandma's house" constantly not understanding that it's not her house anymore

• i'm just gonna be lonely without my mom. simple as that. it's a complete disruption of my routine. my mom also brought up her moving in with grandma and i was like you cant do that you cant move an hour away ):

[notjusthespongenextdoor]

dawntrail discussion (lvl 100 MSQ, and overall)

idk ive generally been in a bad mood recently so im worried its coloring my perceptions too severely but my overall reaction to dawntrail is just kind of like. huh. yeah, okay.

like...it was fine. lots of fun stuff in it. but i didn't really get In to the story that much, and that makes me sad

i don't know where all the decisions got made considering this game is made by like two million people so ill try to avoid placing blame on anyone in particular but i really felt like the story was weird and disjointed. i went into it genuinely excited and openminded, trying to let myself take in whatever dawntrail had to give me without carrying expectations around because like. yeah, shadowbringers and endwalker were absolutely incredible. i doubt anything will measure up to them again, but that's okay, you know? it doesn't need to to be fun.

i really like wuk lamat and erenville, and came around to liking Bakool Ja Ja and Koana. I don't really mind that Wuk Lamat was around so much, because it quickly became clear to me that she is the "main character" of this expansion, and i'm okay with that

but i really feel like.....this should have been two expansions. the rite was nice at first but progressed way too quickly IMO and sort of "told" a lot of Wuk Lamat's development instead of "showing" it. Like we give her one pep talk and she's like cool i'm fixed now!!! her character just changed so quickly and while she's not that different of a person at the end, i'm not sure i really feel like her development was like. Earned, by the story. it just sort of happened.

i went into this with the expectation of it being, as was said, 'the best summer vacation ever,' so i really thought that the rite was going to be the whole thing, and like. i wanted it to. i wanted it to be relatively low-stakes and for all of us to just hang around and not have to save the world. i wanted to get competitive with thancred and urianger. i wanted them to drastically lower the stakes for this one so we could slowly build them back up again and not fall into the pit of always having to come up with massive world-threatening disasters to handle.

but no, of course we had to...deal with a threat to All The Shards And Everyone On Them....and again like, I liked a lot of the characters that were introduced in the second half but i didn't feel like we got enough development with them, ESPECIALLY with the whole concept of soul cells and the endless and all of that. it's like i could just Feel the weight of Shadowbringers and Endwalker on the shoulders of the writers and the themes coming back of like, oh we can't live forever the cycle of life and death is necessary and experiencing loss brings us together etc etc which is just like

no man we got it already skdjhfgsjkdfg like Endwalker expressed that concept in SUCH a powerful way there is simply nothing left to say on the matter. this was their chance to completely change directions and they. kind of decided to keep handling the same themes. except. worse, because just by definition everything is going to be worse than Endwalker.

like i really really did not feel like the Endless were explored to the extent they should have been and going around erasing them really left me with this feeling of like. uhhhhh. i know they're not like "living beings" or whatever but this doesn't feel right??? i feel like im killing a shitload of people without their consent????? like just because we had a single spokesperson in each section being like "it's okay i'm ready to go :)" didn't make me feel like it was okay to destroy everyone else??? like oh it's fine cause they don't have souls?? THE LOPORRITS DON'T HAVE SOULS CAN I JUST WIPE ALL OF THEM OUT? IS THAT OKAY S JDHFG

which like im not saying it was WRONG, obviously it was something that was inevitable as set up by the story but i don't feel like the inevitability of it and necessity of it was sufficiently like. emotionally integrated. like at the end the reasoning just seemed to be like 'well everything has to die and this is unnatural so pull the trigger piglet' like what. hello. could we explore the whole 'stealing energy' thing more and like, the strain it puts on the current living society to keep this thing going. like of course we're told how bad it is but...did we??? see it ??? like i guess we did but killing people in Tural felt to me like harvesting souls for soul cells not like....taking their life energy to sustain the endless....

aughghghghhhhhhhh screaming and yelling and crying. i was SO worried that the same thing was going to happen here that i felt happened in pandaemonium, where they set up some really interesting mysteries (the golden city, then the gate to the city, then the soul cells, and then the endless...) and just sort of. didn't follow through with the mysteriousness of it. i didn't feel a sense of surprise at any of them... sighs.

at least we got some cool characters out of it. and the dungeon and trial mechanics have been really fun for me. so i guess ill just enjoy the gameplay for now and hope for a more cohesive story in the future....

[malka-lisitsa]

katerina had been rather endearing as of late (no yelling, no breaking things out of anger or to get his attention). elijah certainly doesn't expect her (nor wants her) to turn domestic or evolve into something others call 'housewife'– that would also be against everything katerina stands for. he does, however, highly appreciate that she wanted to give him a little joy even if she wasn't good at successfully fulfilling her projects.

elijah is very much a giver if one had reached a certain spot in his heart hence why he decided to surprise her this morning with self-made breakfast in bed: a fresh glass of orange juice, coffee, freshly made parfait, sliced-up fruits, clafoutis with cherries, homemade crepes with nutella and strawberries, and waffles. it was admittedly a bit expansive and he doesn't know if she could even eat all of it but it was his turn to give her joy. he brought everything he had prepared on a large tray to her bed and then placed a gentle kiss on her forehead.

» katherine earned fluffy things

Attempting to be good is very very exhausting. Especially when your boyfriend is an original who is always busy with something, and when you don't have to worry about running anymore... theres really not much else to do. Being Klaus' victim is a full time job... now that Elijah saved her shes.... well bored.

So she fills her time with trying to do the behaviors Elijah seems to like better. Like not breaking things, or shouting randomly for attenion. Boring, but shes been trying. She tried to cook for him, that didnt go well.. twice.... and the rug fiasco... well.. she will be letting the staff handle that from now on.

It was just... kind of lonely. In a new way. She'd always been lonely but now she was alone when she didn't have to be. Failing at simple tasks she's never really had the opportunity to learn how to do. Nothing like suddenly stopping a five hundred year game of hide and seek to really show you how little youve lived anything close to NORMAL in that time. Why do you think she acts out so drastically for his attention? Shes lonely. She just wants him to look at her, she doesn't care how. When it didn't work the way she wanted she got frustrated... but shockingly she DID listen to him. Which was why she'd attempted her domestic things... it just seemed like she wasnt getting anywhere.

So, when she felt that gentle kiss to her forehead, she stirred and grumbled. Expecting it to be some god awfully early hour and he was going to leave for something somewhere and 'would return home post haste' or whatever suit speak saying he used most days...

Instead, she opened her eyes to a very soft looking expression on her lover's face. Brows furrowed in an instant and she rubbed her eyes as she sat up. The array of food she was presented with was - EXTENSIVE and her brows shot up so high they might have hit her hair line.

"Oh my god." She needed a second to take it in, and you could see it happen in real time as her features softened and her bright little smile overtook the groggy remains of sleep.

One thing most people dont know about Katherine? She LOVES fruit. I mean LOVES IT. And here was a tray with an array of her favourites, and a convinient little wrap to shovel them in her mouth with.

Her eyes watered and she looked over at Elijah with all the love she could muster in her eyes. When she spoke, it barely made noise, and she reached out to touch his forearm.

"Обичам те. It's beautiful.... come share with me?" She tilted her head, voice hopeful. She wanted to spend the morning in bed with him. Like they were the only two in the whole world.

[bluminex]

Can I req reader that used to be a heavy drinker and theyve already been clean for months but readers old drinking buddies are pushing them to drink again and Yae Miko, Ei, Kuki Shinobu (separately) got mad with your old friends (also gender neutral please!)

Drunkard turns into normal person(real)!!

I was supposed to post this yesterday, though, here's one of the works that I was able to finish today. I'll get to work on the others in a bit after I get some rest.

Anyhow, enjoy the work! I'll be back to posting and working on your requests now. My passion and dedication to writing has been rekindled again after a few weeks have passed. I apologize for the delay of these works.

Yae Miko

Before, you were once a heavy drinker. You’d head out every time and anytime your drinking buddies had invited you to another drinking session. It had started to become an addiction; it had started to be more dangerous for you and your health. Someone had to put a stop to it, and that was your girlfriend, the cunning, prestigious, captivating, and teasing Head of the Grand Narukami Shrine, none other than Yae Miko.

To her expectations, you eventually stopped drinking for the sake of your own health… and partly also for her. Which also meant that you had stopped seeing your drinking buddies more often due to the fact that you aren’t going to be drinking anymore anytime soon.

It had been months ever since you went out to drink with your buddies. If you had to be honest, not drinking alcoholic beverages anymore have definitely helped your mental health and you’ve never felt better than you did when you used to drink! You’re quite proud of being months clean, especially with how much of an addict you were!

And today, you just so happened to coincidentally meet some familiar faces that afternoon as you were visiting the Yae Publishing House to check up on how Miko is doing behind the counters. You heard one of them call out to you, making you shift your attention from your girlfriend to whoever had called out to you.

“S/O! It’s been a while since we drank, eh?” The man waved as he approached you with a smile.

You nodded, “Yeah. Uhm, what brings you guys here? You here to buy a light novel?” You questioned, raising a brow at your old friends.

They laughed and chuckled at your words,

“No, you silly goose! We came here to ask why you aren’t tagging along to our night-outs anymore!” The other man folded his arms as he eyed at you.

“It’s been months, you know… we’re kind of missing your chaotic behavior a bit! We still have as much as fun as we did back then. You should definitely come tag along on tonight’s night-out!” A female voice sighed as she placed her hands on her hips.

You gulped, “Apologies, I’m gonna have to pass, I decided to stop drinking a few months ago.” You rested your palm on the back of your neck.

Their eyes widened, broadened even… eh, same thing. They stared at you in pure shock and disbelief, what they heard just now… that was real, wasn’t it? But the person they knew wouldn’t say such things like that. Just what exactly happened to you in a span of these few months, what made you drastically change?

Yae Miko narrowed her purple eyes at these ‘friends’ of yours. She was clearly starting to get irritated by this whole situation, maybe even a little intrigued.

“Where’s the fun in that?! You know, I don’t really know what changed you, but still… you should definitely tag along!” A man exclaimed, nudging your shoulder lightly as they laughed light-heartedly.

“Have I not made myself clea-“

“Nope, zip it! Sorry S/O but we aren’t going to tolerate the nonsense that you’re blurting as of right now. He’s right, you might be busy and all but that doesn’t mean you can’t have a bit of fun every once in a while!“ Another sound of a guy spoke to you.

Growing annoyed by their hopeless and pitiful attempts, Yae Miko simply could not just stand-by and not do anything about this idiotic matter. The Chief Editor hated- no, despised the idea or thought of you returning back to your former self all because she had allowed you to run off with your old friends.

“Ah, ah, ah… I don’t believe there’ll be a chance for your dear friend over here to accompany you guys on this ‘hangout’ of yours. My beloved has better things to do than spend time with you drunkards, isn’t that right, dear?~” Yae Miko smiled at you, though, just by her expression alone… you could clearly make out what she was trying to get across to you; “Play along.”

“That’s right, I do in fact have to accomplish some of my projects. I’m only here at the Yae Publishing House to check up on how Miko is doing so far in the day.” You sighed, rubbing your forehead as if to say you were a bit stressed out by many of these, totally not made-up last minute ‘projects’ of yours.

Their faces dropped and they frowned at your words. They were going to reply to your words and open up their mouths until they were again interrupted by the Guuji.

“Now, now… how about all of you skedaddle from here and go to that bar you all drink at. However, my lover here won’t be joining you fortunately. Besides, they have clearly stated that they do not want to drink with your group again, hence… they won’t be drinking at all anytime soon as long as I’m around.”

A shiver went down their spines, they hesitantly apologized to both you and Yae before hurrying up and out of the place, running up the stairs. You shifted your attention back to Yae after your old pals have scurried off deeper into the city.

“Yae… there was definitely some anger in your words just now. Are you perhaps… mad at them?” You questioned Yae, eyeing at her.

Yae Miko sighed, “Why would I not be? They wouldn’t stop pestering you to come with to another night-out where you’d eventually be persuaded into drinking. For all of my hard work to go to waste in just one night is rather saddening, don’t you think? With how much effort I had put in just to convince you to stop drinking was quite tedious you know. Now, returning back to our conversation just a moment ago…”

Raiden Ei

Ei didn’t like the idea of you drinking once she saw how drunk you’d get after going to the tavern whenever there’s a chance. With how much of a heavy drinker you are; you’d always return home so drunk to the point where you can barely keep your balance and know who you’re talking to at the current moment. She made sure to scold you whenever you drank. Though, she always was passive-aggressive with her words when it came to scolding you.

Once Ei had decided that enough was enough, she had forbidden you from drinking. In fact, she commanded you to not lay a finger on one alcoholic beverage ever again. No matter how much you had opposed to this, in the end not even you, the lover of Inazuma’s deity could even stop her. So, you forfeited, finding it pointless in trying to argue with her any further… deciding it might have been for the better good of your health.

Nowadays, whenever you return home from work to rest and snuggle up with Ei… you no longer reek of alcohol, which pleases your lover because the stench of alcohol would get to her. Another reason as to why she had banned you from drinking.

However, until one night… where you received a letter from your old pals. You could sense Ei glaring at you and at the letter as well behind you. You turned to look at her,

“...D-do you want to read it with me?” You asked, hesitantly.

She stared into your eyes as you spoke, she shook her head, “I’d rather you read it out loud to me. By the way, do tell… who wrote this letter to you?” Ei asked, raising a brow at you as she folded her arms.

You sighed, “It was from my friends, the ones that I used to drink with. I’m not really sure why all of a sudden, they sent me a letter.”

Opening up the letter, you began to read it out loud for Ei. As you were reading, you could feel the atmosphere around you tense up… she must’ve disliked the contents of the letter. Once you finished reading, she took the letter from your hands.

“Hey what was that for-“

How rude it truly was for them to try and guilt trip you into drinking with them again? They should be punished for it. A nuisance really… why must you keep in contact with them still? A bad influence they are… if Ei were to let you go with them, she’s sure that you would’ve returned to your old habits with no hesitation. No doubt in that at all.

She scoffed, pulling you closer towards her. She glared at you, folding her arms. You chuckled light-heartedly, clearly understanding what she was trying to get across.

“Don’t worry… I won’t go with them. How about I whip something up for the both of us? Though, I’m not sure if you’ll be of much help in the kitchen…”

Ei deadpanned at you, “I’m a bit offended by that… though, just this once I’ll let it slide. I’ll be waiting to eat your food, in the meanwhile… I shall ask of some of the guards at front to fetch me some Dango Milk from that stall…”

“Alright, it sounds like a plan then! I’m gonna head straight to cooking now! See you in a few!” You grinned at her. She smiled at you softly, nodding her head before turning around to command the guards at front to order the sweets from that stall… specially to order all the Dango milk they could offer.

Kuki Shinobu

Before you and Shinobu started dating, you were a drunkard. You’d drink so much every single day that you’re now well-known as a regular customer or “that drunkard” among the restaurants and bars. You also drank a lot with some friends of yours, the only time you’ll ever see them is when you’re drinking or maybe you might run into them in the city.

Though you may be known as a heavy drinker and the well-known drunkard in Inazuma city… the citizens of the city acknowledged that although you may drink a ton, you are a good person at heart. You were popular among the kids, as you would hang out with them whenever you had the chance.

From time to time, you’d give the kids a sip of some of the alcoholic beverages, and now they refuse to drink any of it again in the present time and also in the future with how bad it tastes. The first time you lent them a sip, they began to question how you could drink something so disgusting and bad? The parents of these children are relieved to know that you aren’t trying to influence them into drinking after you expYlained why you gave them a sip of alcohol.

A drunkard that lectures kids to not drink any alcohol at such a young age, and if they ever do so wish to drink in the future… drink moderately at least where you won’t get drunk. Ironic, isn’t it?

Now that you’re dating Shinobu, you noticed that you haven’t been drinking at all these days. Perhaps… this is because she kept scolding and giving you an earful whenever you’d arrive home drunk, go to her drunk, or just be drunk in general.

This was no way for how you should be living your life right now at all. Thus, led to Shinobu negotiating with the bartenders to not serve you any alcoholic drinks anymore. Fortunate for her, they were very much understanding, as they could understand where she was coming from.

After a few months have passed, you’ve completely stopped drinking. Shinobu couldn’t help but feel like a proud mom with you overcoming your addiction to drinking. After all, it wasn’t an easy thing to achieve. The day today was going as smoothly as ever, until some familiar faces had bumped into you and Shinobu.

“Hey! Watch where you’re going- S/O?!”

“…” Shinobu recognized their faces the moment her eyes landed on them. Before they could even get another word out, she grabbed your hand and walked in the other direction. You were confused as to why she had pulled this stunt when your old friends were trying to strike up a conversation with you.

Once you were further away from where you were, you immediately asked her,

“Shinobu, what was that all about? Why’d you run off with me like that?” You asked, looking at her very puzzled.

Shinobu turned to look at you, sighing, “…They were going to try and pressure and persuade you into drinking again. I could sense it, my guts told me, and I just couldn’t ignore that feeling. I don’t want you to become an addict again like you were back then.”

You blinked at her.

She stared into your eyes for a few seconds before quickly averting them.

“Oh. Well, makes sense… you’re my girlfriend and all and you just want what’s best for my health!” You chuckled at your words as you grinned.

“I promise you that I won’t ever go back on my word. I promised you I’d stop drinking and I’d never think of breaking that promise that I swore to you.” You reassured her.

Shinobu sighed of relief, her cheeks slightly red, “Good. Now, how about we go and check in on the boss? I’m a bit worried he’s causing a ruckus again…”

“Yeah sure, let’s go and find Itto and the rest of your gang! Uhm… after we do that, can we perhaps go back to that street? I saw a stall and it was selling one of my favorite dishes.” You asked nervously.

Shinobu gave you a calm nod. Removing her mask and pulling it down, she kissed you on your cheek. (If you’re tall, then pretend she got on her tippy toes to kiss your cheek, if you’re short, then think of the opposite.)

You blushed, looking at her with widened eyes. You felt your face getting hotter and hotter by each passing second. Though, you were not complaining… you could get used to being kissed like that by your girlfriend in public more.

---------Author's Notes---------

If you ever so wish, go check out my Ao3 account. I've posted a new work over there, completely unrelated to Genshin, but it's about the show "Wednesday". Wenclair is canon, you cannot tell me otherwise. Let me believe in what I want.

My Archive of Our Own account, or otherwise known as Ao3, is Royy_Bluminex.

Please, ignore my first two works... It was a strange phase of mine hahaha. Well, enjoy reading those old works of mine if you wish. I can't say that I'm exactly proud of it... So, if you see something that you weren't expecting, just keep your mouth shut.

Oh wow. Uhm. I'm writing this (this very sentence) like 20-30 minutes after...

My mother just informed me that my dearest cat, Mio, has died. My father seemed to not notice him resting under the car and ran over him accidentally.

Death is unpredictable, which is why you must be prepared to face it.

R.I.P Mio, you were a great cat. I'm glad I took care of you while we still had time.

[sl-ut]

i wanna be your girlfriend

PART FIVE

pairing: rue bennett x reader, rue bennett x jules vaughn, jules vaughn x reader (platonic), oc!piper x reader (mentioned)

description: rue and y/n are working on their friendship, but they soon realise that a broken friendship is much harder to fix when they both have feelings for each other. y/n and jules come to a disagreement.

warnings: canonical warnings; drug/substance abuse, sex, nudity, swearing, etc, etc. jules slander (not sorry), y/n is pretty bitchy (but not wrong)

words: 2.8K

date posted: 07/02/22

omg y’all don’t even know how fucking long this took me and how many times i rewrote this! it’s been almost two weeks since the last chapter, and i really am trying to get more chapters done more frequently, but i would also love love LOVE to diversify my blog a bit more by branching out into other fandoms. nearly all of my requests rn are for euphoria, and as much as i love them and will be working on them soon, i would love to see some other fandoms thrown in. just send a request, and if i know the fandom then i would love to do it, and if not i’ll try my best lol. ily all and tysm for all of the support on this series!!!!

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The opinion that Halloween was objectively the best holiday was a hill that Y/n was willing to die on. She used to tell me that it was all about the candy, and I’m sure that for a time, she truly believed that. But as we got older and the costumes became more emphasised on tighter fabrics and low necklines, the idea of Halloween changed for her in a jarringly drastic way.

Instead of chasing a high that came only with a lethal amount of sugar, Y/n sought the comfort that came with shedding her own skin and becoming someone else for just one night. For her first high school Halloween party in freshman year, she went as “Oops! … I Did It Again” Britney, and after two shots of tequila and a Four Loko, Y/n no longer felt like she was wearing a costume, but like she was now in her truest form. Each and every Britney song that played (which was quite a few once Y/n found out who was controlling the AUX cord) was performed on the coffee table with not one ounce of energy wasted. The next morning, Britney was laid to rest and Y/n was revived. The next year, she was Black Widow, and once again, her normal persona disappeared into that of the Russian spy’s. I wasn’t sure what I could expect from Y/n every year once Halloween rolled around, but with how secretive she was actually being about it this year, I was actually starting to get a little scared. 

Things were going relatively well between Y/n and I, all things considered. I guess you could say that we sort of went back to how it was at the beginning of the summer, with the additional awkwardness of less than platonic feelings, my sobriety, and whatever the fuck was going on with Jules.

The weeks following the carnival were, to be completely frank, really fucking weird. Nate Jacob’s suspension and potential arrest shook the school to its core, and Jules had been relatively scarce ever since, and when she actually bothered to show up, she was much touchier than usual, especially when I had anything to say about the whole “she fucked Nate’s dad” situation. Additionally, Y/n and I had barely gotten to spend any time together as we had planned, so all-in-all, I was having a terrible time.

“Hang outs have to be twice throughout the week and once on the weekend, minimum,” Y/n stressed, “And that doesn’t include groups, like Jules and Piper. Just us.”

Y/n had struck up several conditions as to what they should do in order to restore their friendship, and though they weren’t exactly unreasonable, it was just strange for her to be so uptight with Rue.

“Sounds fair,” Rue hummed, “But I have a condition of my own.”

“And what’s that?”

She smirked over at Y/n, already anticipating the reaction that she was about to get from her oh-so-controversial opinion, “No Megan Fox movies, seriously.”

“Rue, I swear to God, you better be fucking joking right now.”

These hangouts seemed to be pretty limited to whenever we could see each other outside of school, which was averaging out to be twenty minutes between the time the school ended until she would eventually answer Maddy’s call and go over to her place. Not to mention, most of the time that we did have together in school was always interrupted by Piper’s constant need to be feeling Y/n up at every given moment.

The week leading up to Halloween changed. Y/n’s time was suddenly all freed up, claiming that Maddy had decided on taking some ‘alone time,’ and suddenly, most of our afternoons were spent together, which, strangely enough, was around the same time that Jules was officially MIA. Anyone else would almost feel like they were just swapping them out for one another, and to be quite honest, I like the consistency of having just one person to worry about, though I had to admit that it was nice to hang out with Y/n and not have to listen to her drone on and on about some guy she met online.

Jules reemerged on Friday of that week, just in time for Halloween. I wasn’t entirely sure how it would play out with both Y/n and Jules together, especially considering that the last time they really interacted with each other, both of them were both pretty bitchy.

Something felt off about that Halloween, though. I’d gone to the party that Saturday night with Jules, Kat, Cassie, and Lexi, and all things considered, each of them were acting pretty fucking strange. Y/n, for some reason, really enjoyed handing out candy to the few trick-or-treaters that came to her place, and planned to meet us there, and I’m not sure that anything could have prepared me to see her walk in the front door as–

“Officer Judy Hopps!” Lexi shouted as she spotted Y/n.

“Reporting for duty!” She saluted the infamous painter, “Glad to see you could make it, Mr. Ross.”

Looking back on it, I don’t know how Y/n and Lexi have gone so long without hanging out on their own.

“Who?”

“Oh, come on, Rue. Zootopia?” Y/n placed her hands on her hips and did a small twirl, shaking her bum to show off the small cotton tail attached to the back of her shorts, “Don’t say you haven’t watched it.”

Rue pursed her lips and glanced over at Kat, who shook her head, “Uh, no.”

“Well then, thank you, Lexi. For making me not feel like I��m crazy.”

“Hey, if it's any consolation, you do look really hot.” Kat offered as she slid a red cup across the counter to her.

“You know what, I’ll take it.”

Y/n turned to Rue, smiling up at the taller girl as she lifted the cup to her lips, “Where’s Jules? I thought you said you two were coming together?”

“Well, not like together together, but…” Rue glanced around the kitchen of the large house, shrugging, “I don’t really know. She’s around here somewhere.”

Rue wanted to say that she was able to pick up on a small look of relief on Y/n’s face, her heart skipping a beat at the notion of Y/n being glad that she and Jules were not together. With a mischievous glint in her eye, she tilted her head back to swallow the contents of the red cup before she threw it aside, fingers wrapping around Rue’s wrist as she pulled her out of the kitchen and into the busy living room.

“What are you doing?” Rue watched as the girl whirled around, tugging her close enough that their chests touched as she began moving her limbs wildly to the beat of the music.

“Dancing, what does it look like?”

“Honestly?” Rue laughed, “It looks like you’re having a seizure.”

Y/n’s head tilted backwards as she let out a loud chuckle, though her bizarre movements did not falter. Instead, one of her hands interlocked with Rue’s, swinging her arm with enough force to cause her entire body to begin shifting from side to side until eventually, Rue began to copy her motions on her own. The two girls remained like that for what felt like hours, swaying in close proximity to one another, cheesy grins across their faces as their bodies moved against one another.

Rue raised Y/n’s hand over her head, twirling her around repeatedly and gasping out a laugh as their bodies were forcefully pressed together as Y/n struggled to keep her balance. Y/n grinned up at Rue, winding her arms around her slim waist as they continued to rock back and forth. For the first time in a very long time, it felt as if nothing had ever happened. Their eyes remained locked on one another’s as they swayed, foreheads touching as they leaned closer.

Y/n gulped, parting her lips as her breath quickened. She couldn’t recall the last time she felt so close to Rue. Even before she went to Maui and Rue was put in rehab, there was a period of time where things just felt different between them, where Y/n put a bit more effort into how she looked when she was with her, the way she snuggled so much closer while they lay in her bed at night. She hadn’t even noticed the shift in dynamic until she thought of Rue during one of her typical hookups, and even almost let her name fall from her lips as she tipped over the edge into ecstasy. Rue was like a drug to Y/n, and she hadn’t truly acknowledged how intense the withdrawals were until that moment. None of the other women made her feel the way that she did when she was with Rue, not even those who she had genuinely believed herself to like. Her eyes stung and became visibly glassy as she stared up at Rue, relishing in the whispery breaths that brushed against her warm cheeks.

“Rue…”

A third body slammed into the two of them, long, slim arms wrapping around their shoulders as they were forced out of their embrace, “Hey, guys!”

Jules was drunk, there was no denying it. Her body was unsteady as her fingers gripped into both Y/n and Rue’s shoulders for support, and her rosy cheeks were starkly contrasting against her otherwise pale flesh and bleach blonde hair. Y/n stumbled slightly as Jules shifted her weight against her, struggling for a moment to keep them both on their feet.

Rue’s face exposed the mixture of emotions that had struck her at the sight of her friend; Confusion, concern, disappointment… The corners of her lips tugged downwards, and in that moment, it dawned on Y/n how difficult it must be for Rue to be near so many different substances that were readily available for her consumption, and yet here she was, completely sober, and until just then, she didn’t even seem to be minding it all that much.

“Oh, hey Jules,” Y/n braced a hand against her back, “You doing okay?”

“Totally,” She slurred, “I just wanna party! Come on, Rue!”

Discomfort was clear on Rue’s face as Jules waved a red cup around in front of her, meeting Y/n’s concerned gaze over Jules’ shoulder.

“Rue, do you maybe wanna go grab her some water? I can stay with her.”

Rue nodded, pushing her way through the crowd frantically in the direction of the kitchen, leaving the two girls on their own. Jules stumbled slightly at the lack of support on her left side, red liquid sloshing over the side of the cup and dripping down the front of her long white dress.

“Jules, I’m not usually the one to rain on someone else's parade, but I really think you need to take it easy right now, for Rue’s sake.”

Jules chuckled humourlessly, “You’re kidding, right?”

“Why would I be kidding?”

“Since when have you been doing things for Rue’s sake? Cause you definitely weren’t thinking about her anytime up until now. I knew I didn’t like you for a reason, I just didn’t realise that you were so fucking selfish.”

Y/n reached out, snatching the cup from her and dumping the contents out onto the floor behind her carelessly before she let the cup clatter onto the floor.

“What the fuck?”

“I’m selfish? You’re the one throwing liquor around in front of your so-called best friend, who’s a recovering addict.”

“You don’t get to say that to me,” Jules stumbled forward to sneer at the other girl, “You don’t know a fucking thing about me, so don’t ever tell me what to fucking do.”

Normally, anyone else would have had a broken nose for talking to Y/n like that, but this wasn’t just anyone, this was Jules. She would never admit to it, but I always knew that she put up with her simply to avoid upsetting me.

“You’re right, I don’t know a fucking thing about you, and honestly, I’d rather keep it that way, but we both know that this shit isn’t easy on Rue. You’re being a really bad fucking friend right now, man.”

“Fuck you.”

Jules shoved her away, storming through the crowd and completely ignoring Rue as she called after her. Rue turned to Y/n with a questioning stare.

“What the fuck just happened?”

“I just tried to get her to sober up.”

Rue shook her head, “Something’s wrong with her, I can feel it.”

Y/n ran her hand over the back of Rue’s suit jacket comfortably, scanning the crowd for the tall blonde. She easily spotted her across the room with Kat, who appeared her normal level of tipsy. She pointed her out to the brunette, who seemed comforted at the fact that she wasn’t just stumbling around on her own, though her body quickly tensed up as her eyes fell on the familiar frame of her younger sister, slumped into the couch next to the same kid who’d gotten her high at the carnival.

“Oh, you’ve got to be fucking kidding me.”

Y/n weaved through the crowd in an attempt to keep up with Rue’s rapid pace, almost slamming into her back as she came to a sudden halt in front of the couch.

“What are you doing here?” Gia sat up straighter, eyes shifting between her older sister and the girl standing just next to her.

“What am I doing here?” Rue scoffed, “What the fuck are you doing here?”

Y/n recognized the boy as one of Chris McKay’s younger brothers, though she couldn’t decipher which of the twins he was.

“Getting lit,” He grinned up at the pair, tauntingly.

“I’ll deal with your ass later,” Rue turned to him with a dark look in her brown eyes, “Get up.”

“What?”

“I said get the fuck up.”

In hindsight, it may not have been my best idea to interrogate some prick who was trying to get into my baby sister’s pants with the two most ridiculously dressed people at the party. I’m sure that my intimidation attempt was slightly foiled at the sight of Officer Bunny behind me, though anyone with a single brain cell knew well enough to be kind of scared when an addict threatens to sic her addict friends on them.

Rue and Y/n watched in amusement as the boy, who they had learned was Troy, scrambled over to Gia, glancing over his shoulder at the pair of them every few moments. They shared a soft fist bump as Gia’s face lit up in glee as he began to flood her with compliments.

“Do you wanna get some air?”

Rue nodded, and allowed Y/n to lead the way through the living room and out through the large sliding doors that led out to the pool deck. The pair found an unoccupied loveseat on the opposing side of the pool, and quickly sunk into the soft cushions.

“You okay?”

Rue let out a shuddered breath, shrugging her shoulders as she leaned into Y/n’s warm embrace, “Fine.”

“Do you wanna go home?” She whispered, “I didn’t even think about how hard it actually is for you to be here until I saw Jules.”

She shrugged, “It’s fine.”

The pair fell quiet for a few moments, basking in the comfortable silence that came so easily to them.

“I’m sorry.”

“For what?” Rue tilted her head to stare up at her with furrowed brows.

“That I wasn’t there for you. I can’t believe that I just let our friendship go so easily.” Y/n muttered, “I blamed you for so long, I even wanted to hate you for just ghosting me, but I didn’t fight for us either, and I can never tell you how sorry I am for that.”

Rue leaned forward and pressed her forehead against Y/n’s gently, not breaking eye contact, “You don’t have to apologise. I think both of us know that it was me who really fucked everything up. The drugs, the lying, that text…”

Y/n frowned, “Don’t apologise for the text, please. An apology is a shitty way to admit that you didn’t mean it.”

Rue watched her for several moments, scanning her face for any sort of humour. Not finding any, Rue inched forward just an inch, ghosting her lips over Y/n’s for a brief moment before finally laying a gentle kiss on the soft flesh. Both girls grinned widely as they pulled away, faces hot with blush.

“Okay. I won’t.”

MY WORK IS, UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCE, TO BE REPOSTED OR SHARED WITHOUT MY PERMISSION. I HAVE NEVER GIVEN CONSENT TO MY WORK BEING SHARED, SO IF YOU SEE ANOTHER ACCOUNT POSTING MY CONTENT PLS LET ME KNOW.

tags: @ariianelle @charliesdaze @imdumbhi @a-wimpy-kids-musings @supmydudeswheresthedepression @7thavenger @paetonnn @buckysjuicyplums @babadowie

(willing to tag anyone else in this series, but i will not be maintaining any major taglists for the rest of my work)