#but it is still a disability and makes a lot of things hard for me and makes me feel Not So Great sometimes

[yournewfriendshouse]

when I have an overwhelming task in front of me like…how do I build community, the answer as an incredibly awkward autistic person (who didn’t even know they were autistic for so long) has always been to look at what I’m already doing and start to broaden what I was doing from that point.

so you’re extremely online and you want to build community? what are you doing online? maybe you can start there

are you posting photos of your crochet work? maybe you can find a local group that meets in the library (high chance a group that meets in a library is free)

you like talking about music? is there a community choir around you can join?

the thing is we’re all super tired and it can be so so hard to straight off the bat be like ok where the like…anarchist affirmative community action group?

because that group will probably be happy to have another member but if you’ve forgotten how to talk to people in words instead of text it can be really hard. esp if you’re not actually familiar with a lot of the language they use and stuff.

also the people at the crochet group and the choir are still people who live in your local area and there is a chance that when something bad happens for one of their members that they will do what they can to help them. or maybe they do a crochet baby blanket charity thing that helps local babies, or something like that.

the thing to know about local stuff is that communities are just made up of people. anywhere you turn there are people, and there is a chance that they are someone that the affirmative action group may not get to

community is community. you are community! the person who checks out your groceries is community (and they are always so kind to me guys and that is such a big difference to my life as a disabled person like you wouldn’t believe)

and I guess that’s the point, if you start to look outwards from where you are and you start to be just a little more kind than you’re already doing then you will already be making a difference. and as time goes on you will find more and more people to help, and you will be able to help them hopefully because people are also helping you. this is what community is

[kacievvbbbb]

Honestly despite my feelings about how the last arc of MHA went down I really love Deku and his story.

I just feel like a lot of the time we get these protagonists whose whole philosophy is it doesn’t matter what you were born as everyone can achieve greatness. But then the series goes on and it turns out that actually it DOES matter because the protagonist has this really great lineage and these really great powers you can only have through birth they were actually born born, predestined if you will, to do this.

But MHA actually sticks to its guns. Midoriya wasn’t revealed to have some great connection to all might that the universe had put in place. He wasn’t defended from some great lineage that makes him uniquely suited to this. Hell All for one didn’t even turn out to be his father, there was no hidden powerful quirk he was always meant to have. He was just Midoriya Izuku a boy who was in the right place at the right time and simply decided to act while the world did nothing. And that’s what really made him a hero.

I don’t know, maybe it’s just me, but I believe him a bit more when he goes anybody can be a hero if you just decide to act

[queerpdsys]

seeing disability awareness posts end with “TLDR; no, read it” is fucking WILD

[11-eyed-rook]

Accessible doesn't mean "for lazy people".

I can't express how frustrating it is that, so many times on so many platforms I've seen various posts, especially videos, which showcase an item that makes a random task easier (or possible at all) to do (such as onion/garlic dicers of all sorts, or items that can be used with one hand, or even the tools that make it easier to put socks on), and every time the comments section is filled with angry boomers (mostly boomers), who don't see past the concept of "if only people stopped being lazy" or "this is useless, we already have [less accessible tool/item], who needs this?!".

Just because something isn't needed/useful to you, doesn't mean somebody else doesn't benefit from the accessibility (or even just the convenience itself).

To give a few examples of what I mean:

The sock tools can help a lot of people with mobility limitations, and that can also include anybody going through pregnancy as well, to put on socks AT ALL. You don't even "need to be disabled" to benefit from stuff like this, ffs.

Onion/garlic dicers make it possible to quickly cut up food items that otherwise may be difficult (or even impossible) for people with certain disabilities or other difficulties (I've always found it a bit hard to dice/cut certain food items (ESPECIALLY smaller ones), so tools like this are very helpful and achieve a consistent result).

Noise-cancelling headphones help me, by blocking out the noise of traffic, which is very overwhelming to me, not just because I experience sensory overloads, but because I have tinnitus and extremely loud noises are very overwhelming to me. Regular headphones don't accomplish the same thing for me, not to the level my noise-cancelling ones do anyway, and I can still listen to music along the way (my headphones also have a mode that allow for me to still hear peoples' voices relatively well, whilst muffling traffic, engine noises, etc.).

I wear a backpack instead of using a pretty shoulder bag for carrying heavier items, because one of my shoulders is slightly deformed since birth, and because both my shoulders get some of the worst of my joint pain (whenever it does happen, which is often enough), whereas the backpack I have, is nicely padded and easy to organize too. I've seen people online mock adults using backpacks, I still don't understand why though??? I didn't even know people made fun of adults who use backpacks. I still want to hope those weren't meant to be real takes...

I may not look like I "need one", but I do sometimes use a cane to help myself move up/down stairs especially, since I have issues with joint pain, and especially since my foot injury from earlier this year (the pain of which still pops up now and then, and it's not great). People look at me weird when I randomly take out my foldable cane and then put it away after a while. My joint pain comes and goes, and when I don't need my cane, I don't use it. My own father keeps commenting on how I'm "too young to be using a cane". I'm 28, I've been using it for a handful of years now, disability doesn't know age.

Let me repeat myself. DISABILITY DOES NOT KNOW AGE.

Just because you might not use a wheelchair-accessible ramp, doesn't mean it's not needed/useful for anybody without a wheelchair. Even people with bicycles/scooters/baby strollers etc. can benefit from them, and for me, it's easier to walk up the ramps rather than using stairs, as using stairs tends to put additional stress on my already-injured foot, whereas a ramp doesn't require me to put that stress on my foot, so walking is easier for me, even if it is just those 'few handfuls of steps" or whatever.

In a separate post, I touched upon the kind of ableism I've witnessed in certain crafting communities, and how gatekeeping can very quickly become synonymous with ableism, and how that can affect something like a hobby. Everything I said there, applies to this post, too. If you're interested, feel free to read. If not - it's much of what I said here, but specifically regarding crafting communities and how ignorant/ableist people can be at times, and how that can affect people.

So many tools exist to help with certain tasks, to make some stuff doable at all, to add accessibility to an otherwise difficult task for any particular person, and so much of it is just seen as "useless" or "for the lazy people", or there's some aspect of aggressive gatekeeping fueled with "if you don't do it THIS way only, then you're not doing it at all/it's not valid enough" attitudes. If anything, people with disabilities often have to put in EXTRA effort to do what able-bodied people can do effortlessly, even WITH the extra accessibility whenever it IS available (and by available I also mean affordable, because not everything IS, and not all options are available for everybody; price/cost accessibility is something many people don't even consider in some cases!!!). Not all of it is because of difficulty, necessarily, but it's a fact of reality.

Accessibility isn't laziness. For the able-bodied, it can be convenience. For the disabled, it's a matter of getting that extra helpful boost, or the ability to do a task at all, without having to find somebody to do it for you (if that's even an option to begin with).

I know I really can't speak for most groups directly, nor can I relay the experience of every kind of disability besides my own experiences over the years, but I'm genuinely troubled by the "trend" of people STILL (even increasingly) dismissing accessibility tools, disabled people themselves, and anything that makes it easier to do something, to function, especially since there's absolutely nothing that could ever excuse such awful behavior towards people who deal with enough shit as is.

I don't just think of myself when I bring up accessibility and its benefits.

Because the fact of the matter is - even those who have no disabilities could benefit from the accessibility options for those that do, even if it is simply a convenience for most. It takes effort to make something inaccessible, and it would take so little to make a big difference even for some.

And on that note.

It's not laziness. It never was.

[bulldagger-bait]

When it comes to hygiene tasks and self care with disability and chronic illness, its pretty much a constant case of: don't let perfect be the enemy of the good.

Basically: it's better to do something, than to do nothing at all.

TLDR: Just because you can't do something "properly" doesn't mean you shouldn't do it at all. Do it half-way. Do it shitty. Do it barely. Do it on a technicality. But do what you can. Just try, because doing something will help you.

If you don't have the energy to scrub your body with a sponge, just rub soap over your skin with your hands.

If you don't have the energy to wash your whole body with soap, just hit the places where sweat accumulates, or where you're smelliest.

If you don't have the energy to wash with soap AT ALL, just sitting in water is better than nothing. It will wash away dirt and oils.

If you can't bathe or shower at all, a warm wash cloth is your new best friend. If that's too much, then try bath wipes. They're a bit bigger than regular wet wipes, and a bit more heavy duty. They're designed to help keep bed ridden patients clean in hospitals.

If you don't have the energy to dry yourself after a bath or a shower, just put on a bathrobe and get into bed. If you don't have the energy to get dressed afterwards, just don't. It can wait until you can.

If you don't have energy to brush your teeth for two minutes, honestly, just a cursory scrub is better than not doing anything.

If you can't brush your teeth twice a day, brush in the evenings. It will help take away the build up of food from the day.

If you don't have the energy to brush AT ALL, honestly, just take a cloth and wipe the plaque off your teeth. Rinse with mouth wash after if you'd like. Something is always better than nothing.

If you can't floss twice a day. Try once. If that's too much, try a few times a week. If that's too much, try setting aside a day once a week as a goal. If you can't keep a schedule, do it when you're able to. Hell, I keep some floss next to my bed so that if I forget and don't have the energy to go get it, I can just reach over.

If you can't iron your clothes, don't bother. Wrinkles are fine. Wear jumpers over wrinkly t-shirts. No one will know, and honestly, most people won't even care. If it's really wrinkly and it's A Big Deal And It Needs To Be Ironed, here's my life hack. Step 1: take a spray bottle, and spritz the item of clothing (while you're wearing it is easiest) until it's lightly damp. Step 2: use a hair-dryer on the clothes until they're dry. It gets rid of creases like nobody's business, it's easier than lugging out the iron and ironing board, and you get to have nice toasty warm clothes afterwards.

If you can't fold your clothes, try just hanging them up. It's less commitment. It's quicker to do. Granted, you need to have the space in order to do this, but it is also good at helping you downsize, and lets you visualise exactly what you have.

If you can't put your clothes away, invest in a couple of laundry baskets, and then just keep your clean clothes in the baskets. You can then separate washed clothes into underwear, pants, and shirts baskets. You can just leave them like that. I'm giving you permission to never fold your laundry again if you can't. Just leave it unfolded. Who's going to care? Something is better than nothing. If you can, try to put those baskets into your closet so that you can keep the clutter out of sight, and give yourself a more restful environment.

If you can't separate your clothing out into different categories and wash them "properly" (whites, warm tones, cool tones, darks, delicates / switching between hot & cold washes / paying attention to laundry instructions on the label) then just don't worry about it. If you cold wash your clothes, colours won't bleed. Maybe gradually over the course of dozens of washes there'll be some changes in hue, but it's really not as high stakes as the One Red Sock In The Whites Turns Them Pink trope makes it out to be.

I've pretty much come to the point in my life where if a piece of clothing can't survive the washer and dryer, then it's just not meant to be. I colour separate my clothes, and if I have the energy/remember I'll take my bras and jumpers out of the washing machine to drip dry. But otherwise, I leave it to the universe.

If you can't separate out your recycling, then don't. If you have a large amount of rubbish you need to get rid of but the idea of separating it out properly is stopping you from doing so, then just don't worry about it. I know it's not ideal, but if you have garbage in your room/house and you need to get rid of it, please just get rid of it. Don't let the problem get bigger and harder to deal with. Don't let "doing something properly" get in the way of keeping your living spaces clean. Please. Give yourself understanding.

If you can't wash your dishes, get paper plates. Obviously, it's not ideal, but it is better that you eat food than skipping meals. It is better that you have a clean kitchen, rather than having dishes piling up and making it harder to look after yourself.

If you can't prepare meals for yourself keep making the tasks easier and easier. If you can't do recipes, then simplify. Use pasta sauce from the jar instead of making it. Eat canned soup. Buy food you can just stick in the oven. If you eat fish fingers and microwave veggies every night, it's better than not eating anything at all. It's better than having to fork out money on take-out. If you need ready-made meals, then get them. If you're literally just eating a raw cauliflower for dinner; 1) I see you, 2) me too, sis, 3) something is better than nothing.

These are the basic things you need to do every day to function as a person. They are your activities of daily living. Brushing your teeth. Bathing or showering. Using the bathroom. Getting dressed. Eating. Drinking. Sleeping. Keeping your environment clean. You don't need to do these things perfectly, but they need to happen in order for you to have a decent quality of life.

And it breaks my heart, because I know that so many disabled people can't do these things every day. I'm not saying this to guilt or judge, I'm saying that these are basic needs; you deserve these things. These things bring dignity. If a disabled person is unable to do these things, it diminishes their quality of life. It robs them of dignity.

If you need help to do these things, Its okay to ask for help. It's okay to need help. But if you can't get that help and you have to do these things by yourself -- or you just plain want to be independent and do it without help-- then don't hold yourself to standards you can't meet.

Don't let perfect be the enemy of the good. Doing something is always better than doing nothing. Even if it's not perfect. Even if it's not done well. Do what you can.

[seraphim-soulmate]

when my roommates put things back in the kitchen incorrectly it makes me frustrated and angry. apparently, did you know, this is not a thing all or most humans experience ? some people don't have an intense emotional reaction to things not being stacked in the optimal way, or pans not being put back in their "usual" spot. did you know this. did you.

[pochapal]

one more chapter to go before the deadline gf

[piplupod]

mother: "theres this great job where you'd be on-call to come in!"

me: "ahhh i don't really want to be on-call, that would stress me out a lot because I'd always be on edge,,"

mother: "no you wouldn't, you could make it your thing!"

me: "...my thing?"

mother: "being on call! it'd be great! :)"

me: "i would probably be crying like... a lot ahaha. because I would always be on edge never knowing when to expect having to go into work, yknow?"

mother: "nooo, you could just make it a thing!"

me: "sorry, what do you mean by thing?"

AND I NEVER FOUND OUT !!

[gojohatemail]

Laios wouldn't judge me or make me feel bad for being excited about things I enjoy.

[moonsidesong]

i think its kinda funny that ibis paint is regarded as the Broke Artist App or whatever (as opposed to more mainstream programs like csp or procreate) because its free and because of how popular it is with phone + finger artists while im jusg sitting here having used ibis for a cool eight years on purpose.

like i have an ipad and an apple pencil and all theyre very nice and i absolutely could move to a more powerful program i have the resources to do so but my change averse brain has decided they like it here a lot and im not leaving

[luvrbunni]

ik ive not been active at all anyways sort of explanation/me complaining in tags

[phagodyke]

anyway yeah relevant to that post abt being deaf/hoh and ppl excluding u from conversation bc of it (even unintentionally), that's smth that's been really deeply bothering me lately bc there are a few ppl I routinely have to deal with who do it a lot and it Pisses Me The Fuck Off I've lost all patience w them. giving up and calling it ableism and walking out idc anymore 🚶‍♂️

[arctic-hands]

I learned what a bullet journal was by watching a few YouTube artists set theirs up and my algorithm spiraled out of control from there so I guess I have all the bujo influencers to thank for getting into it because it has been a godsend so far on my third attempt, but damn if the over emphasis on aesthetic over the actual practical organizational aspect of it doesn't rankle me a bit

[thirty rambling tags later] huh. I didn't know there was a thirty tag limit in all the years I've been on tumblr. Whatevs I can't copy paste the tags onto the main body because I'm on mobile and I don't want to write it out again so I'll just summarize the last bit here:

If you are browsing the bujo tag because you feel bullet journaling will help you but you feel intimated because you don't think you can make it look pretty, or that the bullet journal method could never help you because it looks exhausting or the inspo you see doesn't cover what you need, I am pleading with you to ignore all the pretty inspiration, take the most common and even original Ryder Carroll formats and spreads with a grain of salt and eliminate or change them as needed, and talk to people who have similar needs than you even if they don't bujo and suss out what's important to keep track of. My bujo is eighty percent important medical bullshit, because that's what I need more than a book tracker. You prolly have your own unique needs. And hell, if you want a book tracker then add a booktracker. It's your bujo to format and plan out.

So like if you want to start bullet journaling, go to Michaels and get a seven dollar Artist's Loft dot grid journal. Or a binder you have left over from school years past and print out your own dot grid paper if you have enough ink and paper and printer that can do double sided (Kevin McLeod's site I forget the name of has free adjustable dot and other grids I've used), or buy a pack of 8.5x11 dot grid paper, and grab a crappy hole punch that just barely does the job. Get yourself a nice pen you think looks and feels nice in your hand and on the paper–or if that doesn't matter to you go get pack of Bics or even pencil if that's what you prefer (I use a pencil for things I can't have be permanent, like temporary meds or the dates of yearly vaccines). If you're twitchy about messing up then get the cheapest wite out they have (but don't worry about messing up especially if you're not even showing it off to anybody). A cheap yellow highlighter if you think it'll help. And a ruler if straight lines are important to you. I lost mine so I just wobble my lines now I don't care (and it's marginally easier to get a line adjacent to straight with a dot grid)

Anyway. If you want to bullet journal but don't know where to start or how to make it pretty or how to make it work for your needs, just try it in the cheapest way possible and rearrange the guts of the bujo as you see fit. And don't worry about the optics as long as you can make sense of your methods and writing.

(and for the love of God if you're bipolar don't make an hourly mood tracker yes our moods can and will fluctuate throughout the day but goddamn was that a bitch to log and abandoned a few weeks after inking it out)

[databent]

talking about having a circadian rhythm disorder is so odd because it is so hard to pin down where it falls as a disability. its like. im able bodied but its not as though it isnt still a physical disability. am i making any sense there idk. just. whatever. you know

[kidfur]

ok that poast got me thinking so rq rant abt my sibling . in the tags bc i cant figure out how go add a readmore on the version of tumblr mobile i use

[llatimeria]

Just finished The Santaroga Barrier by Frank Herbert (my dad likes to play audiobooks in the car on trips) and I didn't like it much (and there's quite a bit of Yikes in it, because frank herbert and the 1960s in general,) but the aspect I found most interesting was the concept of like. A world's subconscious desire to kill The Other.

In the book an investigator visits a small cultish town in order to investigate it for a market study after a few other researchers mysteriously died. he gets into a frightening number of "accidents" while he's there (like the former investigators) and starts believing that there was a conspiracy among the townsfolk and all of them were intentionally trying to murder him.

tl;dr, it turns out it actually was a subconscious yet intense phobia/hatred they had of The Outside they had as part of their personal traumas, childhood indoctrination into their local cult, and the LSD-like drug they were constantly on. They didn't mean the investigator any harm, if anything they were extremely welcoming, kind, well-meaning people, but this background radiation of fear and rage kept making them accidentally do things to kill him - mixing up insecticide and spices in his food, gas fumes being pumped in his hotel room after a botched maintenance job, a torn carpet tripping him off the railing of the balcony, and Many Other subtle attempts on his life that he just happened to avoid by sheer chance.

But all the townsfolk don't really think anything of it - the town doctor, especially skeptical, "diagnoses" him as "accident-prone" until the investigator begs and pleads with him for days after several brutal accidents in a row, and only then does the doctor start believing him but even then only comes up with the theory that all of this supposed malice towards the investigator is "subconscious" - later shown to likely be correct when the investigator himself, after overdosing on their special drug, "accidentally" shoves his colleague off a roof, killing him, but the investigator physically cannot see it as anything but an accident anymore. it simply doesn't reach his mind that he killed a former friend of his. it was just an accident. he just fell, all on his own.

the idea of A Town That Wants To Kill You, But It's Nothing Personal resonated with me from the perspective of being a disabled person, especially one in a generally welcoming, accepting environment. when you're disabled, not a lot of people will come to you bearing their ableism between their teeth. They'll be nice, insensitive maybe, but nice, and are often outwardly willing to accomodate you. But they also stick out their leg as you're walking along to trip you. They'll apologize, and you'll maybe even believe it, even though to you, from your perspective, it was obviously an attempt to harm you. You excuse it once, maybe twice, but after a point, you realize that this world, this community you have entered, is actively hostile towards you and everyone like you. so you start screaming it to the rooftops. you tell authorities that the world wants to hurt you, but they begin affixing labels to you like "paranoid" or "anxious". they know no one actually has it out for you, personally, after all. that would be ridiculous.

but you still keep getting tripped down the stairs. the rat poison and the sugar at your favorite coffee shop still keep getting mixed up, but only when it's your order. in the hospital, recovering from your previous "accidents", a nurse will still accidentally pump you full of saline instead of medicine.

after a point, doesn't the fact that all of these are "accidents", and that no one WANTS to kill you, just... stop mattering a little bit? Yeah, no one wants to hurt you, but they just keep doing it. They keep making stupid little mistakes. They know everyone like you who has visited their community has died or been seriously injured under suspicious circumstances, but the idea that they, themselves, could be a little bit at fault just doesn't even register to them. they don't even consider that they might have to change their ways in order to protect people like you. After all, you can't prepare for every "freak accident". Even when the solution could be as simple as "stop putting rat poison next to the sugar", every time it happens to you, or a person like you, it's just an "accident", that no one "meant" any harm, and "nothing could be done".

it doesn't cross their mind that a string of unfortunate accidents ceases to be accidents, but serious negligence. it can't cross their mind, because they're not the victims here. they only even begin to acknowledge something might be wrong when the victims are screaming in their face, day after day. even then, they come to the conclusion that even if you're right, and the community does want to kill you because you are Other, they won't immediately see anything wrong with that. To Them, the answer is clear as day: just become one of Them, and you'll be safe. They take care of their own.