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dienamights · 4 years ago

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A Reverberate Lullaby | K.Bakugou

✎ The echoing howls stalk you, a ghost hunched on your shoulders, wailing like a child calling for rescue, who cries with no tears. Chanting for a hero that is willing to pick up the pieces of its soul and being, yet it is only left to wither. For the ghost has lost faith that such others exist and can only be cured by finding them, for you are the ghost of your world and love is the only true exorcist.

✎ Protagonists: Katsuki Bakugou x Fem!Reader.

✎ Word count: 4.1K

✎ Category: hurt/comfort, Implied Mature Content MDNI, Prohero!au, Established relationship!au

✎ Caution(!): Implied Mature Content MDNI, mention of depressive state, toxic family, toxic coping mechanism, mention of reader’s weight gain and thoughts about self worth. Please keep in mind while every person’s reaction to depression is different, don’t belittle anyone’s battle when you don’t understand it.

✎ Author’s notes: Hello! Hope everyone’s taking care! Still on hiatus BUT I’m here to post my contribution to the Mental Health Awareness collab by @doinmybesthere ! This has been in the works for a while because I kept scarping ideas for triggering me lmao. This piece is very personal to me and I’m glad I am able to share my experience with you all, I hope that it might help anyone out there in reaching out and asking for help because I know how difficult and scary it might be! Please check out everyone’s contribution that they worked so hard for! kisses kisses take care!

OOH ALSO! Thank you so much for 900 followers aaaaaah! You’re all so amazing and if anyone has suggestions for an event to hold in June lemme know! I’ll also think of some ideas

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The morning sun barely rises and peaks through your blinds, sunshine starting to kiss at your cheeks as you squint at the light, the room welcoming the warmth that is being brought into it after the evening’s chill that made you curl tighter in on yourself, clasping whatever heat you could muster than to turn around and find it in the heating pad of a body that lays next to you.

An alarm only just rings before quickly being shut off, followed by the creaking of the bed when the person behind you shifts, shifts again, another time, before getting up and stalking to the bathroom, after letting an elongated sigh when they sit at the edge of the bed, not acknowledging your presence accompanying theirs. The door clicking closed before the trickling of water fills the quiet room.

Your clock reads 5 am when you squint at it, and you blink at the time before you go on with your routine, setting up breakfast while your boyfriend gets ready to go to work.

Oddly enough, you don’t really quite remember when you started working on the food, all that you could see in front of you is nothing but a scene that looks like it’s out of a broken TV - there’s just so much static. The voices are distorted, as if they’re coming from a defective radio.

“Listen, this ain’t about me, this is about you and how you-”

“What about me? Huh? That you see me as nothing but a burden? No, you can say it-”

“You wanna hear me fuckin’ say it then fine! This is about you sitting on yer ass all day obsessing over her while she wouldn’ give you the time of day y/n. When will you fuckin’ realize that?”

The scene blurs and sways, and you feel your mind run at a speed you didn’t know it could muster, and you’re unable to keep up with it. The knife in your hand shakes vigorously and barely misses your fingers when you bring it down to cut the vegetables.

The sound of the bedroom door shutting closed alerts you, straightening your back when you hear the drop of your boyfriend’s gauntlet by his chair at the dining table. Katsuki approaches you with careful steps, his still ungloved hand circles your waist before pressing his lips to your temple, a gruff greeting of a whisper laced in between.

“G’morning.”

The familiar scent of caramel mixed in with his aftershave welcomes you, wraps around you and cradles you, promising everlasting safety and happiness. Yet, your heart wrenching sobs and muffled crash of your laptop against your floor that rings in your ears tell a different story, shrieking at you, roaring about your failures, mocking your entire existence.

“Made gohan, should be ready in a minute.” you mumble back, posture stiff at the close proximity of Katsuki and you feel the curl of his lips in displeasure pressing into your temple from both not reciprocating his greeting and your choice of meal for the morning. “You don’ eat gohan,”

“s’why I’m making it.” The quick retreat from your figure is like a slap to your face, and you barely stop yourself from reaching out and forcing his arms back around you. Because it's the bite in his voice that halts your movement.

“You’re still going?” you finally turn to take a look at him, the garnets in his eyes shifting, bleeding from hurt, betrayal, confusion, you really weren’t sure. And by God you had no energy left to try and figure out. “Yes I’m still going Katsuki, they’re my-”

“Yer really listenin’ to the bullshit spillin’ outta ya? This isn’t about em being your family y/n, we’ve been through with it already.” the space between you two feels like endless miles, pieces of the broken bridge you both worked so hard to build the only evidence of it ever being there, the rest crumbling into the valley in between your bodies.

“No, you’ve been through with it, I just wanna make things right, m-maybe I can fix it”

“It ain’t yours to fix y/n, when will you realize that?”

“No!” there you go again, sobbing pathetically. “W-why can’t I have a family, huh? Why- why can’t I, fuck, have a family that just loves and supports me a-and just doesn’t- ” your voice croaks, not failing to notice how Katsuki stepped away from the wreck in front of him. Probably having had enough of you, had enough of how troubling and bothersome you are, probably wondering how he got roped with all your shit and got dragged into your mess of a life.

His hands feel like scolding fire when they’re placed on your shoulders, halting their shaking as you cry into the palm of your hand to muffle the sobs, a habit Katsuki has been working so hard on to help you overcome, saddened to see you try and hide your vulnerability from him.

“Because they never made an effort, so why should you?” The tugging at your heart burns, the swallowed sobs feel like needles prickling at your lungs, making breathing feel like an impossible chore. You can’t help but feel restrained whenever you’re presented with the truth, especially unfiltered and unsugarcoated like right now, you know he’s right, you’ve known he was right a long time ago, but admitting it out loud just felt borderline impossible.

So you do what you do best, push him away, all the strength you can muster barely budges his figure, the meal forgotten on the counter as you run and lock the bedroom door on yourself.

Your footsteps feel heavy, dreading the topics and scenes you’re bound to relive. The grip on the strap of your shoulder bag tightening as you push the glass door open. A sigh escapes past your lips again as you enter the restaurant, half-heartedly smiling at the hostess before making your way inside to look for them.

It’s always the same scenery, the kind that always makes you want to run away to the other direction instead of being dragged down into whatever hell this is. And you pause to question yourself, again, why you actually agreed to put yourself out there.

There they are, seated in the four person table, with two empty seats, one for yourself and the other for the sibling your mother always hoped to have instead of you.

Your mother’s pursed lip could be seen from where you stand at the entrance, the clicking of her tapping foot sounding as bad as grinding metals in your ear, you hate it, despise it

It’s the same clicking you learned to memorize, to anticipate, to fear, when she passed by your room, the clicking that made you smother your face in your pillows and swallow your sobs, because the sound of you crying brought her more distress and annoyance than concern for her daughter.

With another tug at the hem of the shirt you’re wearing, you approach the table, hugging your father when he stands up and nodding to your mom when she eyes your figure.

“Good morning mother. It’s good to see you.”

“What’s wrong with your hair?”

Here we go, you breathe out before tugging at a strand of hair, spitting out your words “nothing’s wrong with it.”

“Then why does it look awful like that?”

There are times like these where you are left to question your reasoning for accepting whatever invitation you received from your parents to have brunch with them after all those months, a moment of weakness deceiving you into believing it was better than to spend it in your empty apartment, with the silence that ate away at your sanity every second. The only evidence of life in it other than yours was the recently cleaned dishes and the note thanking you for the meal, the promise of cuddles and movies tonight making you gain just a little more patience, barely.

You refrain from answering, your response is to lower your head, drag the dining chair before plopping on it, a dreary sigh escaping your lips as you scoot your chair closer to the table. Your mother never changes, it’s been a while since you were able to move out of her home, and while your father tries to tell you that these brunches are a way to reconnect with them, you yourself know that it’s merely a chance for your mother to nitpick at everything you ever did or are doing since you left.

“How have you been y/n.” your father smiles at you, both of you ignoring the sound of your mother kissing her teeth when her attempted jab at you is ignored. “Uh, I uh I’ve been good, I just wrapped up with my exams and so far things have been-”

“How is your hero boyfriend?”

For a second, you contemplate whether to ignore her question and keep conversing with your dad, dreading the questions that are to be pushed your way regarding Katsuki, of which will be used as bragging material for when she meets whatever group of friends she associates herself with, but you know better than to ignore her with the way she gets when she isn’t fed with attention.

“He’s uh, good.”

“Why isn’t he here today? What, too good to meet us?” your mother nags, and for the love of God, would that fucking clicking ever stop?

“No, he’s doing his job of, you know, being a hero.”

“Is he now? Well, what about you, hm?” She cocks her head as her nails tap the table. ”Did you think your father and I wouldn’t figure out you got fired?”

“How-” the gritting of your teeth is deafening at this point, your jaw clenching so tightly as you and your mother stare each other down. “Your dad pulled some strings, it isn’t that hard. So tell me, you like leeching off of him after you were done with us?”

“This isn’t, I just- I was- I, I had a lot of university work piling up a-and I couldn’t make time for my shifts and I just, it was just so hard for me to get out of bed these days and I.” why are you doing this? Why are you explaining yourself to people that don’t deserve it? Why are you feeding off of their acceptance, knowing damn well you never got it, and that thing was never gonna change.

“Oh, I don’t wanna hear about you not getting out of bed, you’re here now aren’t you? This is all in your head y/n. You need to stop talking nonsense, what’re people gonna say about you, about me, when they hear you?”

It feels just like yesterday, your figure standing and facing your full length mirror, your reflection eyeing you with identical vacant eyes. Fingers running through your bed head, a wince escaping you at the movement. Bringing your hand up and catching a glimpse of a slight swollen purple bruise along your wrist and the dried blood on your knuckles, the skin stretching upon rotating your wrist and causing notable pain.

Alas, that pain paled in comparison to when your mom barged into your room, blaming you for the way you were acting and belittling your reasoning. Beckoning your father over to replace your broken vanity and for your house maid to disinfect the space, the place sparkling clean and void of any evidence of what had transpired the day prior.

The shattered glass was picked up and thrown out, the splatters of blood were wiped clean, and whenever you brought up, what your mom refers to as ‘the temper tantrum’, you’re ignored by both your parents as they continued about their day, fearing the shame it would bring upon their name if the event was to catch others’ attention.

“Good morning! I’ll be your server for the day. What can I get you?” the foreign voice sounds more comforting than your own mother’s, and you almost laugh at the irony of it, but you only return her smile and take a look at the menu. Lighting up a smidge at the name of one of the dishes, while your parents place their order.

“Can I please get the soufflé pancake?” you look up to catch the horrified look on your mother’s face, followed by her clicking her tongue and shaking her head as if your choice of food was shameful.

“Certainly-”

“Uh, no she won’t be having that. Get her the Honzen Ryori,” your mother eyed your figure -whatever was visible to her from across the table- before turning to face the server again “maybe cut down on the rice, God knows she doesn’t need the extra calories.” and waves her off, disregarding your protests and tapping her nail against the table top, her annoying method in demanding your silence, which you subconsciously react to, snapping your mouth shut when the sound reaches your ears.

“What was that for? You know I like having sweet breakfasts,” was fuming even close to what you are feeling? Probably not. “Yes I can clearly see that, you’ve let yourself go as well. Do you think that boyfriend of yours will stick around when you start putting on even more weight?”

At a loss for words, you turn to your father, who has been quiet this whole time, for any sense of support when it comes to his wife. But the way he presses his lips together tells you all you need to know, how just because he isn’t bad as her, doesn’t make him that great of a parent. That standing by while you have been bullied your entire childhood and well into your adulthood is just as bad as being the cause of it.

“God forbid he realizes how much of a train wreck you really are and throws you on the side of the street, because you know damn well we won’t be here to pick you up.”

It began as a whispering in the air. The day had been beautiful -well, as beautiful as it can be with the kind of day you’re having- and the sky was like a dome of plasma-blue. The clouds had looked like airy anvils drifting under the gleaming disc of sun. People quickened their pace as the clouds began to gather in the sky. The postcard-perfect sky started changing. The beautiful cocktail-blue shade merged in with the flaming orange and mesmerizing purple as the sun sunk deep into the horizon, before beginning to darken into gravel-grey. Large pillows of cloud start to form, blocking out the old-gold color of the sun.

The first splatter of rain hits you when you’re halfway across the street, dismissing the need to take shelter under the roof of the buildings like some passersby are doing, hoping to see out the shower. Droplets of moisture begin to drip onto your head, sprinkling onto you like a gardener’s hose. It was well after your meal with your parents, and you had spent the last few hours walking aimlessly through the streets, making sure to avoid those covered by your boyfriend during his patrol. Hoping, praying, that something will clear your head, will help your poor jumbled mess of a mind forget about this entire nightmare of a day.

Should’ve listened to him

The rainfall intensifies, the drops drumming against the hood of the cars that you pass by, there is so much rain that the sound blurs into one long, whirring noise, reminding you of the blades of the fan that you stuck your finger in, that one time when you were left alone in your house when you were only five years of age. Eventually, they fade into a musical chime as you push your drenched hair away from your face and feel the vibration from your phone as it rings the ninth, maybe tenth time.

He told me so.

Tall apartment complex building; you couldn’t see its end from where you stand. You shiver as you approach it, the doorman - bless his heart - running and placing his umbrella to futilely shield you from the rain, and you just laugh and tell him that you’re already drenched and just waiting to go back home.

God forbid he realizes how much of train wreck I am

Not wanting to dampen the people at the elevator and make them uncomfortable, you take the stairs up to your shared apartment, you usually don't mind the exercise but with how heavy you feel after the rain and day spent up on your sore feet, all you think about is locking yourself in your room and discover what kind of new façade could you try and fool Katsuki with when he reaches home.

Just how I trick him into thinking I’m not with him to leech off of him

Eventually and with a struggle, you make it to the door, dreading the sight you might come to face, almost hoping for a black hole to emerge and swallow you whole.

What would people say about me? Do people think I’m crazy?

With a forced exhale out of your lungs, you fetch the key from your bag to unlock the door, but it’s wrenched open before you have a chance to insert your key.

“Where the hell have you been?”

Your eyes meet the beautiful rubies of Katsuki, and despite his anger that always overcompensates his worry, you smile and throw yourself on him. The shivering ceasing when he wraps his warm arms around you and that loving caramel scent engulfs you, in spite of how your hair is drenching his shirt and how you sniff against his neck.

“You need a shower, you’re shivering.”

“Take one with me?” you look up at him through your lashes, and he blinks at your uncharacterized boldness but agrees nonetheless, helping you out of your clothes and turning on the hot water before stepping in with you.

It is a struggle to help you clean up when all you do is grab at him, whether they’re your hands on his shoulders to lower him to kiss you, wrapping your arms around him and pressing your breasts against him, or palming his hardening cock as the poor man tries to shampoo your hair.

“Would ya knock it off? I’m tryna help you here shitty woman” you frown and squint your eyes when the shampoo gets close to them. “I wanna have sex.”

“Yea I can fuckin tell, just lemme-” you bring his arms down and press his palms to your boobs, letting go of his wrist when he starts squeezing at them. “Do you not want to?” he gulps, his dick twitching at the feeling of your soft mounds in his hands, your nipples covered up by the suds from the shampoo, as your finger traces the underside of his cock. “Yeah, I uh, fuck, I do, just- you need to wash up so you don’t get sick, alright?”

“Do you not think I’m pretty anymore?” you pout childishly, tears threatening to escape your eyes, and they burn as you close them when he washes the product out of your hair, a deep frown on his lips when you open your eyes back again. “The fuck you on about? That rain really fucked with ya?”

“Are you gonna get rid of me when you realize how much of a mess I am?” you whisper, your voice muffled under the sound of the shower above you, and you keep quiet as he helps you scrub your body, but your boyfriend is observant, he isn’t fucking dense.

“What do you want, right now?” he lowers himself to your level when he’s done, his hands stroking your cheeks as he eyes the way the water droplets cling to your lashes, but still not missing the red rimming around your eyes.

“I just wanna for- I uh, I wanna have sex.” you mumble, a plea hidden underneath your words, a plea to help you forget, to help you bury this day behind you and pretend it never happened.

What you don’t expect is the way that Katsuki pulls your naked wet body out of the bathroom and drops you on the bed, feeling your bodies dampening the bed as he hovers over you, no words are spoken between you as he kisses and nips at your skin. Marking it up and down as he all but worships your body, strands of his hair tangle between your fingers when you run your hands through it, arching your back at the feeling of his tongue tasting your slick.

He doesn’t let up until you cry out, and not in pleasure, your sobs far beyond those he loves to hear when he’s denying you an orgasm. No, they’re sobs that wreck your whole body, kicking away at his shoulders as you curl in on yourself and wail into the sheets. Sitting on his haunches on the floor, Katsuki’s eye soften at your figure, the way your shoulders are shaking and how -yet again- you’re trying to muffle your cries with the sheets this time, pressing your face against the mattress in an attempt to lower your noise, as your mother would call it.

“Hey, look at me” you feel his lips grazing your ear as he kisses it, pressing his lips against your temple, fingers unwrapping your fist against the sheet and digging into your hands and pressing kisses against the nail marks in the palm of your hands. “There she is, there’s my girl.” you hear when you lift your head from the bed, sight blurry from your shed tears but still easy to distinguish Katsuki even between billions of people.

You sniff when he kisses at your lids, groan when he chuckles and calls you ‘snot the naught’ when you wipe your nose with the back of your hand, beaming when he hears you let out one weak chuckle at the way he teases you. Still pressing his lips against any surface of skin he can reach.

“You don’t have to talk about it you know, to me at least” he mumbles to you when you’re both dressed in your sleepwear and are cuddling on the dry side of the bed, opting to change the sheet the next day. “Maybe, maybe we can get someone who can help you, you know.” you press your face deeper between his neck and shoulder, shuddering when his warm palms rub your back from under your shirt.

“I can make some calls, get in contact with someone.” you lift your head. “But I can’t afford-” he tuts and frowns at you “None of that.”

“Remember what I said when we agreed to move in?” you do, you just love the sound of his voice when he says it, feels like he’s making all these promises all over again. “Tell me.”

“Told ya I’d be whoever you want me to be, whoever you need me to be. I’ll be yer mom, even better than that bitch, I’ll support and love you unconditionally.” you sniff and tighten your hold against him as he presses his lips against your cheek.

“I’d be better than yer pussy dad, you can rely on me any time and I’ll live up to all your expectations. And callin me daddy is always a plus” he tangles his legs with your own when you wiggle away from him, laughing and giving you no chance of escape, not that you are even thinking of it.

“I’d even be yer genius fuckin nanny that taught you to tell yer mom to go fuck herself when you were four,” your suppressed giggles lights him up and he can’t help but chuckle as well. “I’ll be anything and everything you’ll ever need, baby. I’ll be your goddamn hero.”

The sun comes out again, casting slanted beams of light across the buildings. Steam rises slowly from the greenery. It rises up eerily and drifts mist-like towards the molten-gold sun, right before it escapes into the abyss. The image is so vivid that it stays with you for as long as you remember. Because on this exact day, the shrieking that follows you everywhere you go, haunting you and mocking you, suddenly is nowhere to be found. And all you can hear is the comforting sound of Katsuki as he hums you a lullaby to sleep.

aaaah I hope you like it!

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melohax · 4 years ago

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I’ve seen some people who finished Omori talking about how they don’t understand the game’s plot, what happens in the good ending or why the protagonist even decided to change his ways. So then, here’s my thoughts on Omori’s story.

Warning: SPOILERS AHOY. Only read this if you’ve already finished the game and seen the good or true ending. Or if you don’t plan on playing the game at all but still want to know the whole story.

I’ve seen some people around the internet talk about how Sunny’s character isn’t clear to them or how they feel Sunny doesn’t deserve a good ending. Here’s some thoughts I have on why I think Sunny’s growth was well depicted.

There’s two main routes you can go through in the game: the “Reality” route and the “Hikikomori” route.

In the “Hikikomori” route, Sunny stays in Headspace forever and we get to learn many additional details about him. Sunny’s parents are implied to have known what Sunny did to Mari all along. It’s also implied that Sunny’s mother covered the whole thing up and chose to present it as a suicide as well cus, in her own words, she can’t bear the thought of losing both of her kids.

Sunny’s mother insinuates her son isn’t a “good boy” even though she begs him to be good but she still sees him as her little boy (as seen by the overly-sweet and positive messages she leaves around the house and her voice mails) and needs him alive so she can survive her own grief. Sunny’s father is shown cutting down the hanging tree and telling Sunny he isn’t his son, presumably disowning Sunny. The father keeps being absent forever afterwards.

Fast forward to the present and the “Reality” route, Sunny’s moving in 3 days. He knows his time is up in the real world and the biggest catalyst for his personal growth is that he’s finally seeing his old friends in the REAL world after 4 years of only seeing their loving, idealized child version in dreams. For the first time, he gets to witness the collateral consequences of what he did to Mari in his now teenaged friends: Aubrey spirals into delinquency after feeling like she was thrown aside by everyone she loved. Hero is guilt ridden, can’t even go near Mari’s grave and gives up on his dreams of being a chef. Kel wants to make things better but feels powerless, useless and like a screwup. Basil lives in a miserable state of almost constant fear and psychosis.

Sunny finally gets to see the huge toll his lie took on his friends’ entire lives as they keep blaming themselves for not knowing about Mari’s supposed suicidal ideations. He’s finally forced to face reality and he still tries to hide in dreamworld but he can’t. The inhabitants of Headspace are all people or fictional characters he knows or likes in real life (that he changed in his dreams, like how Kim’s brother is a sweet gentle giant and Sweetheart looks just like the candy shop owner at the supermarket) and their quests end up leading him to events where he’s reminded over and over again his dreams will end soon (the end of the underwater highway, the tree near the whale, the shadows of Mari and Basil) and that he needs to delve into Blackspace.

This shows how his own subconscious mind knows well what needs to be done; he’s putting the mental and emotional effort of making himself face what he’s done, shown through the contrast between the whimsical nature of Headspace and the dark surrealism of Blackspace.

As this happens in Sunny’s psyche, in the real world he can try to “atone” a bit by doing good things for his little community like completing requests people around him have. He still has a lot of trouble being near Basil in the real world but considering his entire subconscious mainly revolves around finding and rescuing Basil, he wants and needs to face Basil sincerely before he runs out of time.

We’re shown through memories that Sunny’s personality was always quiet, wary, a bit distant and very bad at dealing with pressure. Some people even describe him as cowardly or mediocre but he was just a small kid who’s entire world ended when he was 12. Since then, he never left his house, spending most of his days asleep rather than awake. It’s no wonder his personality isn’t as developed as his friends. His friends, although they were also in immense pain, at least still continued to live beyond Mari’s death. Sunny didn’t. He only lived through sleep.

Subconsciously, it’s shown Sunny both loves and hates Basil. This is seen in Blackspace with the dialogue he has with the “strangers” walking in the void. They talk about how Sunny (as Omori) does horrible things to Basil in the darkness of Blackspace because he struggles with facing the truth of his own actions. It’s also revealed through datamine of Blackspace’s metaphorical photo album that Basil, in his attempts to save Sunny from the judgement of others and to get him to come out of catatonia, was the one who come up with the plan to hang Mari.

Sunny describes Mari as looking as if calmly asleep when he drags her up the stairs. Her eyes remained peacefully closed until Sunny and Basil hung her. Then, Sunny turned back to look at Mari’s corpse, her previously closed eyes were wide open. She might have even been still alive, might have opened her eyes during or after the noose was tied to her neck. Or the belief he saw her eyes open could have been a manifestation of Sunny’s guilt, instead.

Either way, the horrifying possibilities surrounding Mari’s death lead to Sunny handling his emotional pain by subconsciously taking it out on Basil. It’s why Basil in Blackspace is shown constantly suffering and dying in many different ways. It’s the only way Sunny has been able to deal with himself; by forcing Basil into the darkest corners of his mind, his perfect colorful dreamworld can’t be ruined by the ugly reality Basil’s mere presence represents. It’s less painful to try to forget Basil and to forever blame him for both of their sins.

Still, even with all these conflicted feelings, Sunny’s tried to come to terms with love he still feels for Basil many times before. The shadows point out how this isn’t the first time he’s tried to save the Flower Boy; how all the previous times before ended in Sunny failing to find redemption and so his mind turns back to torturing the Basil of his dreams instead.

However, one of the Blackspace shadows also mentions a very important detail that changes almost everything this time around: his time is almost up in the real world. Whether this means he’ll commit suicide or move away, it’s almost time for him to leave the friends he’s always loved so much behind.

Sunny is forced to do a lot of internal work and self-reflection in what little time he has left. It’s shown through his dream actions, the surreal imagery surrounding him and the characters with all the sub plots his subconscious makes up.

In the route to the good ending, he traverses Blackspace and manages to listen to every harsh truth Basil’s shadow has to tell him. His attempts to save Basil mean he’s fighting his own mind, forcing himself to accept the truth.

To achieve redemption for his greatest mistake, Sunny needs to start with accepting Basil entirely; he has to stop making Basil take the brunt of their combined regrets. It means being willing to finally face the REAL Basil instead of permanently burying him in the most painful place within Sunny’s mind.

So basically, it’s obvious to me that Sunny is forced out of his “comfortable” hikikomori misery the moment he opens the door to meet the REAL Kel.

Sunny and Basil have a confrontation in the real world. When Sunny entera Basil’s room, we see poor Basil suicidal and at his limit. He’s clearly in the throes of a psychotic episode and at the mercy of hallucinations and delusions he can’t escape from (“There’s no way out of this is there, Sunny?”). Basil attacks you in an attempt to save you by killing the “thing behind you” but as we know, there isn’t actually something behind you.

There was never any monster to take the blame for Basil’s regrets, nor yours. It’s always been just you.

Meanwhile, Sunny is trying his best not to completely lose his shit so he can save Basil and stop him from potentially killing the both of them. Sunny likely loses an eye in the fight, shown by the blood coming from your socket and the bandage over it in the hospital.

Incidentally, the eye you lose is on the same side as the eye that can be seen peeking through the hair of Mari’s face as she’s hanging from the tree.

In the good ending, the song at the end talks about how even after confessing the truth, Sunny is alone once again, so it’s not actually clear if Aubrey, Kel and Hero actually forgave him. I feel like this is deliberately left up to interpretation by the writers. The lyrics then continue on to say Sunny still finds it hard to wake up, still finds himself plagued some days with lingering regret, but that he still tries to take it all one step at a time to carry on living.

With the song’s lyrics in mind, the end scene that shows Basil and Sunny smiling at each other while Mari’s shadow leaves them doesn’t mean they’re completely fine all of a sudden. Whether their friends forgave them or not, they at least finally have the relief of honesty. The burden of their unbearable shared secret is now off their shoulders. It’s finally out in the open, which means they both can now start healing and working to find the redemption Sunny was looking for in Blackspace. It also means they can go back to loving each other again without the crushing pain they both felt in each other’s presence.

I agree that Aubrey and the gang get pretty left out in the good ending, though. I wish there was more of them and their reactions to the truth BUT I think it’s sadly a deliberate choice by the writers to leave their reaction up to the player’s interpretation. This can feel extremely unfulfilling to many people (me included, I hate when authors do that tbh) but also to many others that’s a good thing cus they get to apply their own personal meaning and feelings.

I personally feel like the friends forgiving Sunny and Basil right off the bat would be incredibly unrealistic. I think they would need a lot of time (especially Aubrey) for them to forgive the lie that wrecked their lives for years. Forgiveness isn’t impossible but it would probably come in the form of a slow, difficult, heartbreaking process. Bittersweet.

Redemption isn’t just about forgiveness, anyway.

Even if a person is never forgiven by the people they’ve hurt, they can still find redemption for their actions through doing good for the people around them and the world at large. An example of this is shown through what Sunny can do on his last days in his neighborhood. The gratitude and additional flowers he receives in the hospital from each person he’s helped are proof he can still do good for others even after something as horrible and unforgivable as accidental murder. In a way, it’s proof that his life is still worth living.

But ultimately that’s just my own interpretation of the ending and I understand other people would interpret it all differently. Some see forgiveness as a given in the story while there’s also others who think Sunny doesn’t deserve forgiveness or those who think Sunny is a sociopath/psychopath or that Basil is the true villain of the game. I think this is why the ending was left so open, to favor all the different interpretations people have of it.

ETA: Here’s a different take on Sunny’s parents. This post argues that, despite the initial implications, they actually didn’t know about the attempted coverup. It’s a really good writeup explaining the whys and hows and has me reconsidering that part of the story!

https://www.reddit.com/r/OMORI/comments/kr9nvx/major_spoilers_regarding_sunny_his_parents_and/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf

#omori #omori game #omori sunny #omori basil #omori spoilers #spoilers #i said id wait before doing a post like this lol #but here i am #omori meta

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kaizokuou-ni-naru · 4 years ago

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The Voyage So Far: Paramount War (Part Two)

east blue (1 | 2) || alabasta (1 | 2) || skypiea || water 7 || enies lobby || thriller bark || paramount war (1 | 2) || fishman island || punk hazard || dressrosa (1 | 2) || whole cake island || wano (1 | 2)

ace’s execution is, in a way, the exception that proves the rule when it comes to one piece’s themes of blood and family. ace is set up to die for the crimes of a father he never knew and never wanted, and he does die here, but in the end he dies for the family he did choose, in the form of luffy, rather than the one he didn’t.

god do i wish we knew more about ms portgas d. rouge. with ace’s storyline pretty much wrapped it looks unlikely that we’re going to be learning more about her than what we got, which in my opinion is an absolute tragedy, because what little we do know about her is amazing and she’s an absolute badass. oda give us more female ds please.

whitebeard’s power is so cool. it might be one of the visually coolest devil fruits we’ve ever seen, in my opinion. he he causes earthquakes and tsunamis while far past his prime; he pulls the sky apart with his bare hands. this whole arc is world-shaking, and whitebeard’s power is perfectly appropriate for it.

doflamingo’s speech on justice and rightness is one of the most well-remembered quotes from this whole saga, and rightly so. i’ve always found it fascinating, myself, because he’s right. he dead-on hits how the one piece world works- the world government and the marines rule the world not because of any inherent actual goodness or justice or right, but because they won a war a very long time ago.

in a way, this reminds me of blackbeard’s line of “people’s dreams never die” from jaya. i like how oda isn’t afraid of letting his villains be right about the themes of the story, sometimes even having better awareness of them than the protagonists.

man, if i had to pick a single favorite spread out of the whole manga, it might be luffy’s marineford entrance. it’s so epic, and so completely unexpected for everyone else there. absolutely nobody was expecting strawhat luffy to drop out of the sky with a posse including two former warlords. it just makes me grin!! so much!!

it also gets followed up by a solid two pages of just people’s reactions, from smoker’s “what the HELL is he doing with CROCODILE” to moria’s immediate incoherent rage, and i just love that the world and cast of one piece is so well-established and built up that we know exactly how all of those people know luffy and why they react the way they do.

going back to what i mentioned in the last post about marineford being luffy’s conflict of interest arc, i’d say it’s also the only time where he isn’t the future king first and foremost. in this arc, before anything else, he’s a little brother.

there are a lot of what-if moments in marineford. moments where you kind of have to ask “what if this specific thing hadn’t happened, had gone differently?” would things have turned out differently? squard’s betrayal is one of them. does this change the outcome? would whitebeard have been able to survive if not for this injury? there’s no way to know. marineford is a lot of little tragedies, and they just pile up and up.

marineford has just so many incredibly striking spreads. all of the momentous moments (and there’s a lot of them, in this arc) are done full justice. this is such an image heavy post just because marineford is such an incredibly visually strong arc.

conqueror’s haki is so cool and i love the way it’s set up and built up throughout this saga, with luffy’s constant inadvertent uses of it, from duval’s bull to marigold and sandersonia to the wolves in impel down, all leading up to this moment.

i’ve heard people complain about conqueror’s as kind of a deus ex machina, but i honestly love it, it’s very cool and honestly i think it just seems to fit luffy as a power. if there was ever gonna be a character who turned willpower into a weapon, it would be monkey d. luffy.

i’m gonna take this chance to talk about garp, because this sequence of panels is heavily implied to be garp’s thoughts just before luffy punches him down, and it hurts. garp is a flawed person who makes some bad choices, and there’s no arguing that, but i think it’s very obvious he really, really cares about his grandsons, even if he never could understand them as people and that they never would have been happy as marines. and that’s just tragic, really.

the moment ace gets freed and the brief span of time where he and luffy can fight together feel so triumphant, and i think it’s one of the reasons the final tragedy of marineford hits so hard and feels so cruel, because luffy succeeds, here. he saves ace. he gives absolutely everything he had and makes it, and saves ace. the ultimate failure isn’t his. there was nothing more he could have done.

the first time i was reading one piece, i hit this page (which is also the last in the volume) and had to put the book away, take the bus downtown, wander around for a few hours, and buy myself some candy and some new books before i started feeling okay again.

the thing about ace’s death, i think, is that it’s a tragedy, but it also feels so completely essential to the story going forwards and luffy’s character growth specifically that it’s really, really hard to imagine one piece without it. there are a lot of (really excellent!) fix-fics out there for marineford, and although those are often really good and their authors super talented, i think it’s really hard for them to ever hit the same way canon does with regards to this.

i always think of this scene specifically in contrast to zoro and mihawk’s fight, back on baratie. zoro and mihawk are both people who believe in honor in battle, true victory or death, and that’s reflected in their fight, in zoro’s refusal to turn and run even in the face of imminent death, and mihawk’s respect for that resolve. whitebeard, too, is an honorable man. he refuses to turn to run, even when facing certain death.

the blackbeard pirates, however, are not.

i do enjoy how, just like roger’s, ace’s execution backfires tremendously on the marines. this was entirely a predictable outcome, too! this exact thing happened twenty years ago! the marines don’t learn. they don’t change. they’re so assured of their own rightness and power that they make stupid mistakes like holding a massive public execution after the last one blew up in their faces.

(this is why they need coby so badly, for the record, and why it’s important that he still decides to become a marine after witnessing their corruption firsthand in shells town. the marines are long overdue for a reformation, one that orients them towards real justice.)

i really, really enjoy crocodile in this saga. mostly because he hasn’t been redeemed at all, he’s still pretty much the exact same kinda awful person he was in alabasta, he’s just on luffy’s side this time, and it lets us see him in a better light, when he gets angry at whitebeard for nearly dying or when he helps luffy and jinbe escape to keep the marines from getting their way. few of one piece’s characters are truly so one-dimensional as they can seem, and i really appreciate that.

i really really love all the interactions between luffy, ace and sabo as kids. they’re so fun and bounce off of each other so well. even though we only see them together for a brief time, they really feel like siblings. (which of course only makes later events hurt so much more.

i’ve always been a little fascinated by the fact that it takes us this long to get luffy’s full backstory. it’s almost a fakeout, because we get part of his backstory in the very first chapter, and we’re kind of led to believe that’s all there is. it’s not until ace’s introduction nearly two hundred chapters in that we’re given any indication there’s more.

but at the same time, it makes sense. marineford is luffy’s focus arc, as arlong park to nami or thriller bark to brook. he hasn’t had a focal arc that’s really about him before this, while all his other crewmates have. it makes sense that this would be when he finally gets his flashback.

i think it’s cool that dragon and the revolutionaries show up at the grey terminal fire, because it’s one of the only looks we’ve gotten so far into what their actual regular operations are like. and, of course, they’re saving people. i really like this about the revolutionaries, that helping people in trouble is basically their modus operandi, when pretty much everyone else in one piece’s world mostly does saving on an incidental basis if at all.

i think a lot about how the last line of sabo’s letter to ace is also both of their last words to the strawhats.

death in one piece always feels much realer and more impactful to me than in most other series, and i think this is part of the reason why: in one piece, we are always shown the mourning. nami at bellemere’s grave, carrot grieving pedro, ace and whitebeard’s funeral.

there are fewer deaths, comparatively, than most other series, but they’re given so much room to echo. we’re still feeling the impacts of ace’s life and death in the most recent chapters of wano. it ties into the theme of inherited will and all the way back to hiriluk’s final speech, of men not being dead so long as they’re remembered.

the picture of luffy at marineford always kind of strikes me. he looks so young and so solemn, and yet much more himself than he did when we last saw him losing his mind on amazon lily. i really like it.

sometimes i just think about the sheer depth of trust and love the strawhats must have in each other to separate for two years, far longer than they were ever together, to solely dedicate themselves to improving for the sake of crew and captain. none of them even hesitate, and none of them ever doubt that the crew will be reformed at the end of it.

after all, luffy keeps his promises.

#the voyage so far #one piece #opmeta #not japanese #arc: marineford #arc: post marineford #long post

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bestworstcase · 3 years ago

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I like your thoughts on how Rapunzel was handling things wrong in “Rapunzel: Day One.” The episode tries to imply that Cassandra is wrong for not sharing her feelings with Rapunzel, but is a Rapunzel really the person Cassandra should be opening up to? Rapunzel never respects Cassandra’s boundaries. Cassandra’s a private person. Rapunzel doesn’t respect that. And just because Cassandra doesn’t want to open up to everyone doesn’t mean that she’s bottling things up.

ok so this is gonna be a long one bc tbh i like. fundamentally disagree that RDO, the narrative of RDO, in any way positions cassandra as the one at fault for the emotional conflict between her and raps.

to digress a bit - while tts is not immune to Aesop Episodes (e.g. rapunzel's enemy or you're kidding me) wherein the characters close out the story by talking about What They've Learned, ultimately i don't think tts can or should be read as a morality play. it's a story where sometimes characters just... fuck up and the narrative doesn't waste its time on hand-holding or spoon-feeding us the moral.

anyway, i submit that RDO is what i'll call a False Aesop Episode. it follows the basic structure of an Aesop Episode (protagonist acts badly -> protagonist learns a lesson) but the lesson rapunzel learns is a bad one. it's like if you took... say, "an apple a day keeps the doctor away" as an aesop, the False Aesop here is rapunzel confidently eating a rotten apple and then being blindsided a few months later when the doctor who kept begging her not to eat food with maggots in it steals the moonstone from under her nose and runs off into the night with her new demon pal--

and that metaphor got away from me a little bit but you get the idea.

#1: constructing the conflict

the episode opens with cassandra. she's training; we see the sword fly out of her injured hand; lance suggests she take a break, and she answers, "thanks to rapunzel's little trick at the great tree, i have to relearn everything using this hand, so breaks aren't really an option."

she isn't harsh about it. her demeanor isn't all that different from her normal self—she even segues into a very typical concern (that the woods are dangerous and they should all be on their guard) and banters with lance a bit.

what this communicates, immediately and succinctly, is that:

1. cassandra's injury is severe. it's disabling. she's either in immense pain or she's lost all the strength in that hand or both.

2. cass is really upset about this, and not happy with rapunzel.

3. nevertheless cass is keeping her feelings more or less in check; the worst anyone could say about her is she's being a bit more curt than normal.

which is to say, she's acting quite reasonable. she's not taking out her hurt feelings on anyone else or being mean or lashing out, and she's not hiding her injury either. the most concerning thing about her behavior here is actually that she's focused on training so she can do her job instead of on healing or resting or taking care of herself.

then there's a pan over to rapunzel, who is angrily watching this play out while venting to pascal. "i get why cass is mad at me," she says. "she told me—" huge disdainful rolling of eyes here "—not to use the decay spell back and the tree, and i did, and she hurt her hand. but if she had just listened to me and stayed out of it, this all could have been avoided! and i feel like we could work things out, but she refuses to talk about it!!"

line this up against cassandra's behavior and spot the differences.

cass is focused on her injured hand. cass is upset because rapunzel accidentally mutilated her in the great tree. that's what this conflict is about for cass; her injury, and how she feels about being injured.

by contrast, rapunzel thinks the conflict is about them not listening to each other. she does acknowledge that cass was injured, but 1. she puts the blame on cass, and 2. has shoved the fact of the injury to the periphery of the conflict. it's not important, it's just a natural consequence of the real conflict, which is cass being mad and petty and refusing to talk to her about how she's unfairly blaming rapunzel for something that wasn't rapunzel's fault.

[i will add here that this behavior from rapunzel is 100% not knowing how to handle guilt and externalizing it as anger, and this thread of rapunzel burying her guilt gets picked up again in rapunzeltopia; it isn't that rapunzel doesn't care that cass is hurt, so much as she's just not emotionally equipped to process these feelings in a healthy way so it mutates into...this.]

and where cass handles her feelings in a pretty reasonable way, rapunzel rants and raves and draws cass as a literal monster with fangs and claws—she's stewing in her out of control emotions and concludes that she just has to find a way to force cass talk to her, which she does shortly thereafter by ordering—not asking—cass to come with her to search for parts to fix the caravan.

#2: the breakdown of communication

i've said it before but it bears repeating: cassandra might not be perfect, but she's a good communicator. in s1 and the front half of s2, she shares her feelings with rapunzel readily and frequently. when she tries to set boundaries with rapunzel, she's able to be clear and specific about what she needs. when she expresses frustration with eugene or her dad or rapunzel, she's very articulate about exactly what she's frustrated about. she can recognize when politer, softer refusals are being ignored and become blunter and more specific to ensure the message is getting across.

the moments when cass struggles to communicate are noteworthy because they're not normal. they signal that she's in acute crisis. think of how her unhinged rant about adira in RATGT heralded a complete emotional breakdown. she clams up in RDO because it's the only thing she can do to protect herself. because rapunzel is an inexperienced nineteen year old who learned all her social "skills" from a manipulative, egotistical abuser and nowhere in the series does that show more than in RDO.

rapunzel knows cass doesn't want to talk about the great tree, so she isolates cass from the rest of the group with the intention of forcing her to talk about it anyway. she's passive aggressive at first: chattering about inanities and trying to bait cass into 'opening up,' and acting vexed and guilt-trippy when she finds out cass brought owl along. she broaches the subject by going "too bad there's not an open-up-to-your-best-friend-about-the-thing-you-guys-are-fighting-about wand, huh?"

then she leads with "i know you're mad at me, but i did the right thing. i didn't have a choice," which... what can cass even say to that? she acknowledged cassandra's anger in one breath and followed up with "but you're wrong tho" in the next. that statement makes cassandra's feelings about her debilitating injury into an argument about Who Was Right.

this is a game that cass tries very hard not to play. "look, if you feel that way, then it's fine. we're good," she says, which is a statement that is not true at all on its face but - what it means is that if rapunzel wants to turn this into a debate about Who Was Right, cass will concede because that's not an argument she's invested in. cass does not want to put her feelings on trial so rapunzel can pick them apart and decide whether she deserves to have them or not.

so she disengages. the sun sets. they camp. rapunzel pokes her again, this time with a more direct approach: "cass, i need to talk about what we both know is going on between us."

and that's when cass throws up a WALL. prior to RDO, when cass is pressed on her feelings, she either: 1. opens up and explains to the extent that she's able (e.g. under raps or RATGT), or 2. flatly shuts the conversation down (e.g. cassandra vs eugene). but in RDO?

"there's nothing to talk about."

"i never said i was upset."

"what makes you so sure that you know how i'm feeling?"

this is cass falling off the end of her rope. this is a cass who spent the last year and a half with rapunzel running roughshod over every boundary cass exhausted herself trying to set. this is cass maybe a few weeks out from rapunzel screaming at her in front of all their mutual friends and then telling her "i am going to make decisions you don't agree with and i need you to be okay with that" when cass tried to open up about her deepest insecurities. this is cass spiraling into despair because she's seen that her best friend cares more about assuaging her own guilt and exerting her authority as a princess than she does about cassandra's feelings.

this is the moment when the friendship dies.

#3: the memory wipe, cassandra's apology, and the false aesop

the details of the tangled-but-cass shenanigans are not super important for the purposes of this discussion. suffice it to say that cassandra lashes out in the heat of the moment, seriously harms rapunzel by mistake, and spends the rest of the episode trying to repair the damage, then apologizes to rapunzel for hurting her. this is, obviously, the correct thing to do when you hurt someone, even if it was an accident.

you see the parallel here, yeah?

rapunzel hurt cass with magic by accident, and then made cass's hurt feelings all about her, blamed cass for the injury, twisted the facts to justify her own indignation, picked a fight about Who Was Right and invalidated cassandra's feelings, and pushed and pushed and pushed until cass blew up and lashed out at her.

cassandra also hurt rapunzel with magic by accident, and then she set aside her own hurt feelings from the argument they were having before to focus one hundred percent of her energy on brewing a cure and keeping amnesiac rapunzel safe, readily admitted her fault, and offered an earnest apology for losing her temper as soon as she could reasonably do so.

if RDO were a true Aesop Episode, this would be the lesson, and rapunzel would of course learn from cassandra's good example and reciprocate by apologizing for the accident in the great tree and her abysmal behavior afterwards—and in a reflection of how cass shared how bottling up her anger allowed it to erupt in a catastrophic way, rapunzel would probably confess that her demanding, selfish behavior came from a place of feeling awful about what happened and terrified that it would ruin their friendship.

but RDO is a False Aesop Episode. rapunzel isn't emotionally equipped to handle the intensity of her guilt, and she lacks the social insight and empathy to draw comparisons between what she did to cass and what cass did to her, so she can't connect the two situations in her head to understand what she's doing wrong. the true aesop flies right over her head, and instead what she learns is this:

1. she was right about cass being upset

2. backing cass into a corner fixed the problem

3. friends really do "just know"

4. being pushy and forceful was the right thing to do.

because the thing is, when cass apologizes for the accidental memory wipe, she truthfully explains why she acted the way she did—she's furious and she didn't want to talk about it, so she held it in as long as she could and then exploded when the pressure became too much—and for rapunzel, i think the explanation and the actual apology get conflated. meaning, cass says "i'm sorry for what i did out of anger" and what rapunzel hears is "i'm sorry for being angry."

and because of that misunderstanding, from rapunzel's perspective her own indignation has been validated and her behavior justified, because she was right all along and cass shouldn't have been angry with her in the first place and now everything is fine--

but it's not fine.

we're not supposed to share rapunzel's perspective here, because she's flat out wrong. nothing is really better and nothing has really changed, except that rapunzel got the talk she wanted and stops putting this intense pressure on cass. so as we enter the house of yesterday's tomorrow, rapunzel is taking it for granted that things are fine with cass, and meanwhile cass is still injured, still angry, still as aloof as she can be without getting rapunzel breathing down her neck again... and then she meets zhan tiri, who gives her everything she needed and couldn't get from rapunzel.

like, to my mind, this is the entire point of RDO, that rapunzel makes this catastrophic mess of trying to patch things up after RATGT and comes out of that mess wrongly thinking she succeeded. the episode is presented through the lens of rapunzel's perspective, but the lines are very wide and i absolutely think the intention is for the audience to read between them and understand the reality that rapunzel has sort of blinded herself to.

#tts #rta #interpersonal conflict......good #theres also a whole separate layer of stuff going on in RDO w the class dynamic #this fight coming on the heels of raps pulling rank in RATGT and all but ordering cass to shut up and deal. like -#in RDO cass is Literally Doing What Rapunzel Ordered Her To Do #being okay with the decisions rapunzel made that hurt her #except that's not what rapunzel wants really. rapunzel wants cass to be her friend #but cass learnt in RATGT that her friendship can't transcend her servitude #she knows now that when push comes to shove rapunzel will treat her like a servant so... she acts accordingly #er #long post

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layercake · 4 years ago

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Why Naoto is Heavily Trans Coded, and How The Discussion Surrounding Him Needs to Change

Hello, I’ve never written or posted anything like this before LOL so this is a bit daunting. But this subject is something that’s been bothering me for a long time, and I wanted to get it out somewhere. So let’s talk about how Naoto Shirogane is heavily trans coded, and how the fandom has a problematic culture surrounding the issue that really needs to change.

Tw // discussion of misogyny , transphobia , and mentions of harassment

Initial Shadow Confrontation

Since the discussion is most often about what’s “canon” and what’s not, let’s first take a look at what the game actually does give us about Naoto’s character. During the confrontation with Naoto’s shadow, we learn that Naoto idolized detectives as a kid, and wanted to be one himself when he was older.

However, this posed a problem for him in multiple ways. One, he was (is) still a child, and the people in his field don’t take him seriously because of it. He tries desperately to escape this fact, to try and act as mature as possible, but ultimately he can’t change how others will perceive him at his age.

This is what the shadow confrontation focuses on most heavily. But then it switches to discussing the other part of the issue-- the fact that Naoto’s ideal image of a detective is a man, and he “isn’t.”

At the end, Yukiko says “You must know already that what you yearn for isn’t to become an adult or to become a boy,” and Naoto accepts it. This is what most people point to when saying that Naoto can’t be trans, because he agrees that it wasn’t what he wished for. So, easy, right? If you take this as him telling the truth, then it looks like an open and shut case-- he isn’t trans. But Naoto’s actions don’t really fit what he says here.

The issue starts with these next lines (below) in particular. To me, Naoto’s tone in the first line is regretful, and doesn’t strike me as a sentiment someone who is cisgender would necessarily hold. Why would he want to “change into a man?” To fit his ideal image of a detective? As he says here, yes.

(Real quick before I continue, it’s not clear in the dialogue screenshot but it’s important to note that Naoto does say “yes” to Yukiko’s question about him not liking being a girl. He nods his head)

The narrative that the game tries to go with after this is that the “ideal image” Naoto wanted to live up to, including the male aspect of it, was unattainable and formed primarily because he felt that was the only way he could be a detective.

But, is this really that much of a problem? We all look up to certain types of people, people that we want to be like-- and for many, this can factor into gender identity as well. If Naoto really just wanted to be a cool, male detective, that doesn’t at all negate that being trans would be a part of that for him.

Naoto’s other words and actions, as well as the framing of this scene as a whole, make the scenario feel a lot less believable to me for multiple reasons. Naoto never initiates the conversation that him wanting to be a boy is incorrect-- Yukiko does. Naoto isn’t even the one to trigger his shadow-- Kanji does that. Naoto had a lot less agency in a lot of these decisions than the other characters did with their shadows.

Naoto’s Continued Actions

The fragility of the narrative Atlus put together for Naoto continues to grow throughout the rest of the game, due to the way he behaves after the initial shadow confrontation.

For starters, it’s implied that Naoto is not his birth name, something that i think a lot of people either miss or forget about-- and yet he continues to go by it throughout the course of the game. We never find out his deadname and he never expresses a desire to share it with anybody.

The day after the “reveal,” Naoto doesn’t change anything about his appearance, mannerisms, or how he presents himself. He honestly seems uncomfortable with the fact that everyone has found out, in a way that felt much like being outed to the whole school, as opposed to finally being seen and accepted for who you “really” are.

I understand that such a drastic shift in people’s perception of you would be overwhelming to anybody, no matter if you were cis or not. But if Atlus really wanted to hone in on the idea that Naoto was happy about this change, they could’ve at least made him…. Well, happy about it. Even if it was just a small smile, just a tiny indication of relief even despite how hard it will be to adjust, it would’ve made it at least a little more believable that this is what he really wanted.

But that’s not the case. Instead, he’s uncomfortable, he still binds, he still wears the school’s male uniform, and he still goes by Naoto. The only time any of this actually changes is if you as the protagonist push him to, which… is a whole other mess.

The fact that Naoto has even gotten to this point, though, speaks more volumes to me than anything else. Passing is not easy. Coming out is not easy. Naoto would have had to go through difficult lengths in order to get not only his school, but the country and media to see him as a man. He’s a well-known "detective prince".. someone was bound to look up his records and find out about it. That's a huge risk to take.

In addition to this, he binds. He goes by masculine pronouns and a masculine name. He very audibly changes his voice to be more masculine. I don’t know how to tell you this, but this is just…. not something cis people do? At least not comfortably.

In fact, doing all of this would have been incredibly uncomfortable for Naoto if he was cis. As someone who experiences dysphoria, looking like and being seen as a gender you are not can be really, really painful. If transitioning was something he really didn’t want, why would he put himself through all of that? Was it really to escape misogyny? Me asking this isn’t minimizing the issue at all, because I understand that it’s incredibly serious and hard for countless women. But I would generally think someone’s first reaction to facing misogyny isn’t to… completely change their identity and present as a different gender.

On top of being probably the hardest option of escaping misogyny available to him, and one of the most uncomfortable, presenting as a man doesn’t necessarily get rid of any prejudices Naoto may face. In fact, I would argue that it’s considerably more dangerous. Especially in a rural town like Inaba, where people seem to not really understand or approve of being LGBT. Naoto is smart, he would have thought of all of this. So why?

Inherent Transphobia of Naoto’s Arc

There is something to be said about how much misogyny is present in Japan’s workforce, especially in fields like Naoto’s, and the importance there is in discussing that. The base idea behind his struggles and message isn’t inherently a bad one, but the way the game went about it was problematic because it put down transgender identities in the process.

The first time I watched Naoto’s shadow confrontation, it was really distressing to me. The game continuously repeats the idea that you can’t “cross the barrier of the sexes,” that Naoto “can never really be a man,” and that “you can change your name, but you can never change who you “really” are.” I hope I don’t need to explain why this is a problem.

Naoto’s wish to be a man, regardless of what was driving it, is depicted as something temporary and childish. Something that Naoto “didn’t really want,” something that was just an excuse to run away from the misogyny he was facing. Even if it was unintentional, this message is incredibly harmful to transgender people.

It would have been a better and much more coherent message about misogyny if the writers had steered clear of trans themes entirely. In fact, I think they did so well with Sae’s character in Persona 5-- she’s in the same field of work, facing very similar struggles, but she doesn’t react in the same way as Naoto at all.

Kanji and Homophobia

It’s even worse that Naoto’s “reveal,” on top of being problematic by itself, is used as a method to bury Kanji’s exploration of his own sexuality. The problems with Kanji’s own shadow are bad enough to warrant their own long rant, but the reveal that Naoto was “really a girl” this whole time allows the story to completely wave off his gayness for good.

This isn’t something unique to this game-- the trope of “two boys fall in love, but one of them turns out to be a girl so it’s fine” has been used numerous times in other media to explore the topic half-assedly. It plays with the “exoticness” or “drama” of a gay romance, but backs off at the end in order to uphold societal norms and prevent backlash.

This doesn’t really give any kind of good commentary on gay relationships, nor does it depict them in a positive or helpful manner. It isn’t something that these games should be getting kudos for doing.

Misogyny?

I think there’s also something to be said about how poignantly bad Atlus is at really tackling the problem of misogyny. It tries, especially with characters like Ann and Sae, and in certain aspects it can succeed. But then they have scenes like the pageant and Every Beach Scene Ever, where the women are forced to wear swimsuits or revealing clothing against their will, or their bodies are talked about without their consent. There is consistently a character in each persona game who is forced to do the whole misogynistic dipshit gimmick that’s supposed to be funny-- Junpei, Yosuke, Teddie, Morgana, Ryuji-- and while this is obviously not a Persona specific problem by a longshot, it’s still indicative of how unsuccessful these games often are in delivering the message that society’s systemic misogyny is an issue.

This is something I think about a lot when people try and argue that Naoto’s story can’t be about him being trans because it’s “an important message about misogyny.” Atlus often doesn’t deliver on such stories already, and they certainly didn’t with Naoto. As soon as Naoto returns to “living as a woman” he’s subjected to the same misogyny that the other girls are. His chest is commented on, he’s forced to be in the beauty pageant, he’s made uncomfortable in the bath scenes-- really, all Atlus did after the reveal was make the problem worse for him.

On top of this, his story never actually meaningfully tackles the problem of misogyny in the detective force. It’s not a major part of his social link or the general plot of the game-- honestly, it’s barely even touched on at all after the initial confrontation. Thus, the idea that “Naoto can’t be trans because it erases a story about misogyny” is just plain untrue. There never was a coherent one in the first place.

Problems Within the Fandom

Despite all of this, there is such an intense backlash from the majority of the fandom if anybody dares to bring up these issues with Naoto’s story. Naoto being trans is generally seen as something ridiculous and stupid, or something to insult and mock people for.

I understand that there's always going to be people who say provocative stuff like this, no matter what anyone does, and that it’s not something exclusive to this particular fandom or character. But the problem is that this rhetoric isn't just from them anymore--the consensus among so much of the fandom seems to be either that Naoto absolutely cannot be trans, or that speaking about it at all is "annoying discourse" and taboo. Even from fans that are LGBT or allies themselves.

This in and of itself is such a telling thing to me. if you find yourself getting angry about the subject, really ask yourself why. Is it such a problem for people to reclaim a transphobic story? Is it such a problem for a character to be trans in the first place? There is room for discussion and nuance regarding this situation, but we have to make it for ourselves. We can accept that Atlus’s base game will never actually give us a coherent story about either misogyny nor being transgender with Naoto’s story. But petty arguments and insults thrown at people who bring up this topic isn’t any of that-- it’s just poorly masked transphobia.

So at the end of the day, no, Naoto being is trans is not “canon.” Of course Naoto would not actually be allowed to be trans, he is a main character in a game series where the only explicitly LGBT characters have been consistently buried, stereotyped, or demonized with only a few rare exceptions.

Yes, you’re allowed to headcanon whatever you want about him. I can’t stop you from wanting a story about misogyny, or from seeing Naoto’s gender as something more fluid than I do. But you can’t ignore the fact that his story, as written in canon, is laden with transphobia despite its intentions. It’s not a ridiculous or harmful thing for trans people to want to reclaim that.

There are still a lot more issues with how Naoto is treated in the game-- especially in his romance route-- but that’s a whole other can of worms I’m not ready to unpack today lol

Hopefully all of this made sense though, and feel free to bring up anything else I may have missed or point out any issues you might have with it :-) Thanks for reading!

#persona 4 #naoto shirogane #p4 #persona #naoto #trans naoto #meta #long post #discourse #misogyny #transphobia #god?? god!! help me #this is literally such a mess lol But #sorry for lack of pictures in the second half also

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maxwell-grant · 4 years ago

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One last one for the moment; top five superheroes who definitely AREN'T Pulp Heroes, but could be with a little tweaking?

Oof, that's a hard one. It's a hard one because, again, there ultimately isn't that much separation between the two to the point there's enough of a hard line in there to work with, but I guess the cat's out of the bag now that I've staked claims on there being differences between them.

Okay so, not counting superheroes who are deliberately modeled after actual pulp heroes, so no Tom Strong or Night Raven here. I'm sticking mainly with comic book superheroes (barring one oddball exception) since the medium separation is important), who I think could become pulp heroes with some tweaking.

5: Captain America

Sort of cheating because I already covered it here, but I definitely have to include Captain America in here, especially in the stories they actively go for a "pulp" vibe as well as the earliest ones.

Fun fact about Marvel: As Timely, they actually began life as pulp publishers. Not just pulp publishers, but specializing in some of the sleaziest, ghastliest magazines of the era, and you can bet this carried over to their superheroes. Where as DC's superheroes took inspiration from the big pulp heroes such as The Shadow and Doc Savage, Timely's superheroes seemed instead much more inspired by Weird Tales stories and Poverty Row horror films, and even in the 60s, Marvel never really abandoned their horror roots, the trick was just using them as a baseline to create superheroes. In DC, the world's first contact with superheroes begins with the world looking in wonder at a friendly strongman. In Marvel, it began with the world looking in panicked horror at a flaming monster rampaging through the streets desperately trying to not burn everything it touches. It should come to little surprise then that the majority of characters I'm including in this list are Marvel characters.

People think Captain America's first comics largely consisted of him fighting Nazis left and right, but they were actually much more often based around him encountering monsters and creatures of horror, like the above panel where it looks like Cap's staring down the beginning of Berserk's Eclipse (RIP Miura).

The early Captain America comics pretty much consisted of Kirby dipping his toe into the monster comics he'd make in the 50s which would later bleed into the 60s Marvel entourage. They even tried repackaging Captain America into a horror anthology in the 50s titled "Captain America's Weird Tales", just imagine how different the character would be today if that somehow stuck.

Imagine a world where Steve Rogers never became leader of The Avengers, never got to become the shining beacon of heroism of an entire universe, and instead, when he was unfrosted, he woke up to find a world running rampant with crawling nightmares and Nazi tyranny, and he has no idea what's become of his former sidekick. That definitely sounds like the start of a promising pulp adventure.

4: Namor

Another Timely creation. In Namor's case, he didn't so much encounter horrors from beyond imagination, as much as HE was the terrifying thing beyond us ready to rampage upon mankind, whose first on-screen act consists of the calculated slaughter of a ship full of innocents. The first true villain protagonist of comic books. Not just an anti-hero, a villain intent on wiping out the human race.

And not just a cardboard supervillain, but the beautiful prince of a race of ugly fish monsters, a momma's boy who's doing what he thinks is right by warring with surface dwellers. While Namor's become largely defined by his gargantuan arrogance, here, he's almost childlike, despite being much more brutal and villainous here, spurred on by the whims of his mother, who even acknowledges that Namor had no real reason to kill the divers but did so anyway, and now encourages him to genocide. His mom even tells him "Go now, to the land of white people!", and the very last panel of the story even states he's on a "crusade against white men".

The massacre of explorers at the hands of something beyond their understanding. A monster born of an interracial coupling. A race of fish monsters with bulging eyes, antagonistic towards humanity but are shown to have positive traits just the same. A dash of racism. There is no mistaking The Sub-Mariner's pulp horror influence.

A non-white superhuman warrior born from a Lovecraftian horror story, who gradually moves away from his villainous crusade into becoming more of an anti-hero, never truly putting aside his hatred for humanity, remaining a temperamental, unpredictable outcast, with a strong, palpable undercurrent of anger in his stories. I could very easily buy Namor as having crawled out of a Weird Tales story and I can't think of other superheroes whose origins are as steeped deeply in pulp horror.

3: Doctor Fate

Technically we already have a pulp hero version of Doctor Fate in Doc Fate, and I'll get to him separately, but even besides him, the earliest Doctor Fate stories in particular feel very much like he's a character steeped in the worlds of pulp and pulp horror who decided to put on a superhero costume and show up in comic.

He's got a similar set-up to The Shadow, from the pulp Shadow in the sense that he's a mysterious, eerie crimefighter who dwells as a presence more often than an active character and who kills criminals without remorse, always watching and waiting for the right time to strike as a a wrathful old-testament force of vengeance, and from the radio Shadow due to him using superpowers to fight crime while being accompanied by a smart, fierce love interest.

Originally, Fate was not a sorcerer, but instead a scientist who discovered a way to manipulate atomic structure, of his and other things, thus making it appear that he can do magic (although we never see his face, and he's implied to be thousands of years old, before they settled on the Nabu origin). And going back to Lovecraft, a lot of it appears in the earliest Fate stories. Fate was given powers not by a sorcerer, but an alien worshipped as a god. He barely encounters traditional monsters, but instead contends with hidden races, zombie slaves, abandoned alien monoliths, and half man and half fish creatures. Fate may have actually been the very first pastiche of Lovecraft in pop culture.

And of course we can't forget the gloriousness of Doc Fate pulling an Indiana Jones on us.

2: Wolverine

I don't even think you'd have to tweak Wolverine at all. You'd just have to get him out of the costume and Avengers/X-Men associations (although the X-Men have a substantial background in pulp sci-fi stories like Slan and Odd John, so they aren't really at odds here), maybe tone down his powers a bit and, that's it. Logan's already the kind of character who has such a varied sandbox history, whose powers can lead to so many different scenarios, that it's not a stretch at all to picture Wolverine in the usual pulp hero scenarios.

You can have half-naked Wolverine running around in the jungle with animals Tarzan-style, take him to Savage Land if you wanna throw dinosaurs in there. He's already Marvel's foremost "wandering samurai/cowboy" character which was one of the stock and trade types of the pulps. Western? Done. Samurai? Done. Wuxia? Just put him in China and add a couple extra fantasy elements. Wanna make a sword and sorcery story with him? He already comes with a bunch of knives and savagery and ability to survive grisly injuries. Horror? The MCU is crawling with them, or alternatively, tell a story from the perspective of someone who's being hunted down by Wolverine. Wanna tell a detective/noir/post-apocalypse story? Logan's right there.

Wanna have him crossover with pulp heroes? He's lived through the 1800s and 1900s and traveled all over the world, you could feasibly have him meet up with just about any of them. Logan may actually be the purest example of your question, because he's very much not a Pulp Hero, and yet, he definitely feels like a character who could have been one, at just about any point in the history of pulp magazines. He's perfect for it.

1: Wario

WAAA-okay, look, bear with me for a second here, I'm not just picking Wario because I love oddball choices and he's one of my favorite characters, I got some logic to this.

Okay so, the first question here: is Mario a superhero? While I'm usually adverse to calling characters prominent outside of comic books superheroes (hence why I'm definitely not interested in debating whether Harry Potter or Goku or Link or Frodo are superheroes), I do think it's a pretty shut case that, yes, Mario is a superhero. Superheroes don't just come in the form of skintight crimefighters, right from the start comic books have had varied types of superheroes appearing in comics and comic strips. For example, the "funny animal" superheroes are a type older than superhero comics, and they were arguably not only the most successful type of superhero of the 40s-50s era, but arguably defined trends dominating nonfunny animal superheroes, traits that predated or influenced Captain Marvel as well as Otto Binder's reshaping of Superman that defined much of superhero convention as we know it. It's part of why the question of "Is Sonic a superhero" has a very clear Yes as an answer.

So upon establishing that, yes, funny cartoon characters can be and are superheroes too, is Mario one? Well, I'd say yes. He's got an iconic uniform, he's got superpowers, he goes on fantastical adventures, he is both a nebulously general do-gooder as well as having a clear mission as protector of the Mushroom Kingdom. His adventures span multiple storytelling formats, he's got catchphrases, he even dresses up in Superman's colors and has a Super prefix iconically associated with him. Not a superhero the way we usually think of, but a superhero nonetheless.

And Wario? Well, putting aside Wario-Man who's more of a running gag than anything, Wario does just about everything Mario does. He's got all the traits that define Mario as a superhero short of a Super prefix and the selfless mission (which isn't exactly a rule). He goes around and gets into crazy adventures, he picks up items, beats bad guys, conquers the odds, and gets some kind of prize for it. He's got Mario's physical traits, and Mario's costume, and just about the same name short of a single letter. The caveat being, of course, that he's Wario, and so everything Mario is or does has to be exaggerated to gross extreme.

Mario is paunchy and strong, Wario's round and built like a powerlifter. Mario's got a friendly face and a fluffy mustache, Wario's got a massive horrible grin and jagged razors for a stache. Mario is a bit of an overeater, Wario can and will eat anything in front of him. Mario gets around with acrobatics and magic power-ups, Wario brute forces his way through everything and just rolls with whatever injuries he picks up along the way.

Mario gets fire powers by consuming magic flowers. Wario sets himself on fire and barrels around destroying everything in his path. Mario harnesses the elements or abilities of beings around him to clear obstacles and solve puzzles, Wario gets turned into a zombie, a vampire or a drunk to get the same things done. Mario befriends and rides dinosaurs who raised him from infancy, Wario piledrives dinosaurs and then uses their bodies to beat up more dinosaurs. Mario pals around with fellow heroes, princesses and friendly fantasy creatures, Wario pals around with aliens, witches, mad scientists, cab drivers, and lanky weirdos. Mario always ends his adventures joyfully leaping to the next one, Wario usually ends up either cackling in a pile of treasure or completely broke.

Mario races through plains to rescue princesses, Wario invades pyramids to hunt for treasure. Mario jumps through planets with baby stars guiding his path, Wario crashes into the Amazon jungle and fistfights the devil. You can see where I'm going with this.

If you were to take one of Nintendo's heroes to make them into pulp heroes, Wario, specifically the Wario Land Wario, may be the only one who really could do it, because in essence, he's the videogame equivalent of Professor Challenger. He's Bluto moonlighting as Indiana Jones, the weird brute adventurer for weird brute adventures where everything's off limits and you can trust our intrepid hero, who really shouldn't be a hero on all accounts, to deliver us a good time, give or take a couple deaths, scams, shams and oh-damns to complete said mad treasure hunts.

#replies tag #not pulp heroes #comic books #dr fate #wolverine #captain america #namor #wario

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eldritch-araneae · 4 years ago

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Windblade, Bumblebee, and Sari from my Sparkpulse AU :3

Below is quick AU explanation ( it’s 13,4k works, I’m sorry I tired to keep it short I SWEAR XD) Also I’m such dumbass, I forgot their Autobot sigils! XDDD

Core ideas of the AU:

It’s basically G1+TFA+Cyberverse mix;

This AU revolves around Bumblebee as the main protagonist;

Autobots crash-landed on Earth in 1985, they landed in Detroit, specifically on Belle Isle;

Earth became their home and Autobots pretty much-integrated into human society over 33 years. They influenced human society a lot, that helped to avert climate and energy crisis( as not wanting humans going the same road as cybertronians by depriving their planet of resources);

Ark has fusion reactors that are used in Energon production. Autobots encouraged humans to use their own fusion reactors, which allowed human civilization to completely get rid of fossil fuel as the main power source;

Setting: Solarpunk (when the story happens);

Sparks exist and give a lifeforce to all forms of life, not just to cybertronians;

Cybertron is gone, nothing can fix it;

Decepticons only arrive in 2018.

Bumblebee’s Background.

Bumblebee is the youngest among Autobots, who was found on the road unconscious back on Cybertron by Jazz.

After examining him, Ratchet shares his concerns with Optimus - not only Bumblebee is abnormally small but his plating is soft and flexible, yet fragile, it would be easy to cut and melt through. He also lacks physical strength.

All of this implies that Cybertron has no more resources to forge any new bots and Bumblebee is the last.

This means there is no way Optimus should send the minibot to fight ( tho Bee has a lot of courage and will pull some crazy stunts here and there), so instead he assigns Bee for scouting and spying missions under Jazz’s supervision ( Special Operations).

Introductions went pretty well, though Optimus admitted that Bumblebee’s face seemed familiar.

Soon, after the first few scouting missions, it’s revealed that Bee has a bit more problems. His spark is strange, it’s producing way too much energy that his small frame can handle, resulting in the erratic sparkpulse that overwhelms his entire system and shut him down for 5 minutes.

Thankfully it was discovered after Bee finished his duty, but still, it raised a lot of concerns. Ratchet tried his best to examine his spark chamber, only to find that the minibot’s spark was sealed shut in some sort of protective shell. This shell cannot be opened. Cutting through it would be bad, so Ratchet opted to work with what he has.

He first suggests Bee burn down this excessive energy, which works pretty well, as training with Windblade, or doing short races where it’s relatively safe with Hot Rod and such. Still, despite his efforts, the spark eventually will send a huge energy surge that would force-reboot Bumblebee. It didn’t stop Bee from taking on his missions and one of the reboots happened in the middle of the duty. That scared the shit out of everyone as they lost contact with him while he was on Decepticons territory. Thankfully, like clockwork, he was back in 5 minutes. After he completed the mission of securing intel, he had to convince Optimus that he would be okay even if he shut down because Deceptions would never catch him. Bee reveals that he has one interesting ability - he can sense sparks of others( both signature and the pulse).

For some reason, he thought everyone could do this, that's why he never mentioned it before.

That allows him to plan ahead, as he pays attention to hiding places and Deception’s nearby and how they move, easily avoiding his enemies.

Soon he’s pretty much known as the elusive Autobot who will break onto your base, steal all your shit and get away without being caught. Megatron even places a big bounty for catching Bumblebee that is yet to be fulfilled. Then he gets known for being someone who Deceptions, who wants to join Autobots can go to and arrange the meeting with Optimus Prime. Windblade always helps him with this: Bee can sense what is spark feeling, while she can use psychic abilities to catch a sense of their intent. Together they never made a mistake, though there were a couple of close calls.

So this keeps going for a short period of time until Bee catches some terrible wave of spark signatures, emitting from below. Something tells me that they are in grave danger and Autobots must leave Cybertron for good. Such a claim isn’t taken lightly, asking what proof Bee has.

Sadly, he cannot prove anything aside from “terrible screams of mass death coming from Cybertron's core”. He feels like he knows, but he cannot recall any memories from his data banks. All he knew was that they were screwed and it’s all because of Shockwave ( who Bee hates the most, not even Megatron sparks so much anger within him as seeing Shockwave does.). Windblade also caught this as well with her different sensors so she sided with Bumblebee. Then she decided to look into Bee’s mind and see if she can help Bee to recover those memories.

It quickly proves that it’s not that simple - all his memories that come before he was found by Jazz are sealed away. And not by some hard-coding shenanigans, but by Vector Sigma - a device that was used to program the AllSpark ( the thing that gives life to cybertronians) so it will create a desired form of life.

And not just him, but Windblade also discovered this seal, though it only seals specific cluster to memories, which timeframe aligns with Bee’s seal.

So they had a picture: Shockwave did something that messed up Cybertron’s core and, presumably, Bee and Windlade witnessed this( and apparently have met before)? The only way to find out, a break-in to The Spire of Forging ( a place where cybertronians were born), and use Vector Sigma to break the seals.

That caused a huge fight as the spire was currently controlled by Decepticons, while Megatron suddenly got an idea to use the AllSpark to reprogram Autobots into Decepticons. So it becomes a race. Windbalde, Bumblebee, and Optimus have reached the Chamber of Creation first...only to find out that Vector Sigma is destroyed - the device was cut apart and crucial components were missing. But it wasn’t all - the AllSpark was gone as well!

Understanding that there is nothing they can do, they retreat, followed by angry Megatron’s shooting.

After the battle Optimus informed anyone of their grim situation: AllSpark is missing( they searched for it, this artifact that very strong and unique signature but it’s literally nowhere on Cybertron), Vector Sigma is destroyed and there is still a threat that gets closed to the surface that will destroy them all ( Bee was very insistent of leaving).

So he makes it a vote between all Autobots: shall they leave or keep fighting. To Bee’s surprise, the majority decided on leaving. Relieved, he begins helping others to prepare Ark ( their spaceship) for a long journey.

When Ark was ready to launch, some complications happened ( as the ship wasn’t in perfect condition for interstellar travels) but they managed to leave Cybertron and begin their journey to their new home.

In general, Bee is in a good relationship with almost every Autobot. Optimus values him as both an amazing scout and a good friend who isn’t afraid to speak his mind and question everything.

Bumblebee befriends Windblade - the cityspeaker from Caminus ( which was of one the first colonies that were destroyed during the war). She absolutely adores Bee’s carefree and optimistic attitude, never being tired of his silly antics ( which he often does on purpose to lighten her mood).

They become pretty close, and Bee has no problem opening up to her, like sharing his fears ( he is really brave but isn’t fearless).

Some bots like Sunstreaker don't really like Bumblebee much. He thinks that Bee is a defective bot that will doom their entire cause and this animosity intensified when Bee starts bringing in former Decepticons and insisting on leaving their planet behind. (Sunstreaker’s twin, Sideswipe, admits it’s probably because his brother used to be like Bumblebee, kind and hopeful, but the war has changed him and he hates it.)

Bumblebee tried his best to ignore Sunstreaker, but it is difficult as he compares himself to bigger and stronger bots, feeling like what he’s doing isn’t enough. That being fast, athletic and cunning isn’t enough - he must be more, he must become strong. Which causes him to take some crazy decisions that will put Bee in danger and probably get hurt.

He desperately craves recognition and respect from others while not realizing that he already has it.

The arrival of Autobots on Earth in 1985.

After one warp jump, they ended up in the Solar System. The Ark wasn’t doing well ( esp engine) and needed repairs if they wanna continue their journey. Teletraan-1 scanned the solar system, informed Autobots about the planet they are currently orbiting (Earth) has a sentient lifeform along with a diverse ecosystem. This surprised everyone because of the odds of them jumping tens thousand light-years away from Cybertron and ending up near other sentient beings.

Optimus didn’t wish to disturb other sentient beings, he decided that they should move to another planet, fix their ship, and move out.

For that Teletraan-1 suggested staying on the fifth planet’s orbit which is a gas giant (Jupiter). Gas Giants are known for having a lot of hydrogen and helium and additionally, some chemical compounds like ammonia which can be used in producing deuterium and tritium ( isotopes of hydrogen) which are used as fuel for fusion reactors.

The only issue was how to get there, as their ship is fragile at the moment. Wheeljack suggested using gravity assist still should be okay.

Teletraan-1 calculated the positions of the planets and it’s been decided they were gonna use Earth’s gravity to propel forward, then circle around and do another flyby near Earth - that would give them another speed to reach Jupiter.

Suddenly Teletraan-1 informs the crew about a big asteroid that is headed in their direction and the collision is imminent. It happened fast, before Autobots could maneuver Ark off of the way. After the asteroid successfully vibe checked Autobots, the Ark got seriously damaged and was flung towards the planet. They couldn't break from gravitational pull so Autobots had to prepare for impacts, which would be easier if the ship weren’t breaking apart at that moment, Teletraan-1 did it’s best to stir the ship away from the cities.

Meanwhile, in chaos, Bumblebee fell into a hole in the ship’s walls and he landed in the water of Lake Erie. The impact was terrible as it almost tore his arm from his body. He screamed in pain and was forced into reboot.

Then he woke up next time, he was still in the water, completely disoriented - mostly to the fact he could sense so many sparks around him. He brushed it off as it wasn't important at the moment.

While still being in pain, he managed to swim up to the surface to look around. Bee saw a big smoke rising in the distance, assuming this is where Ark landed, he tried to make his way there.

Then Bee sensed something nearby, another spark with clear distress radiating from it. He looked around but saw nothing, then he submerged under the water. He saw a small figure who was struggling to swim.

Bee dive deeper ( while doing his best to ignore the pain of his damaged arm), gently caught the figure and went back to the surface. The figure took a big inhale and coughed a lot. Bee was concerned, but he could only observe for now.

He first noticed how this being kinda reminded him of his own kin: they have 4 limbs- 2 legs and 2 arms with 5 fingers, the face structure is similar as well, they also warm and look like they vent as well ( aka breathing. Cybertronian’s breathing is part of the air cooling system.see more in Trivia). While there was a lot of difference as well( being organic lifeform and such), that amazed Bumblebee that he almost forgot about his hand.

After being calmed down, the figure finally looked at their savior only to meet face to face with a giant alien robot. He yelled as a surprise, while Bee yelled back because the former's yell startled him pretty much.

After the shock faded and understanding that Bee wasn't doing anything bad ( they were just chilling in the lake) they sighed in relief and smiled, thanked him for saving them. Bee cannot understand what the figure says, but he assumes right he can sense relief emitting from the figure’s spark and replies, which of course the other didn’t understand as well.

The figure then gestures towards the mainland that isn’t far away, while making a paddling motion which Bee understood as “take me to the land”. He nodded ( to his relief on it means the same thing for humans) and he began swimming towards the land. Which pretty much drained him as they both arrived and his hand got worse.

Bumblebee curled on the ground, trying to endure, but once again his system shut him down. The last thing he hears as the figure calls to him is a worry.

The next time he awoke, he wasn’t by the lake anymore, but inside of some sort of garage. He was lying on the floor and he tried to get up, but again his arm hurt, though he noticed that this time the pain is tolerable somehow.

He looks to the side and sees that his entire arm was wrapped into some weird stuff, kinda looking like duct tape? Sure it was flimsy, it kept his arm from falling apart.

Two figures entered the room: one he’s already familiar with, which is this person he saved from the lake, and others. They look similar to each other, the other person looking older, for some reason they reminded him of Ratchet. Bee tried to sit up again, but the pain wasn't letting him. Two people instantly got worried, saying something to him which he imagined was something like “please don’t move”. The older one went close to examine the arm closely, Bumblebee knew this look: a look of someone who is checking on the work they did...really reminded of Ratchet again.

Bee sighs and gives a small smile and thanks to them, though he knows they won’t understand the hopes that the tone of his voice suggested the meaning. The older person nods in acknowledgment, then they exchanged a few words with the younger one and left the room.

The younger one sat by Bee. Autobot looked at them, observing them once more, taking more onto more features and he could tell that they did the same with him. Suddenly their expression lighted up as if they had an idea. Bee tilted his head slightly in question.

Making sure that Bee’s attention is on them, the figure points at themself says “I”. At first, Bee was confused, so they repeated it again. The only thing he could think of is to repeat the same. The exclamation followed by a nod means he did it right. Then they pointed at him and said “you”. Bee did the same...and suddenly it’s clicked. The language, they were teaching him their language! He smiled and they continued.

Somewhere in the middle of this, they finally introduced each other. The person’s name is Spike Witwicky, a 15yo boy who is living with his father and helping him with the car repairs business. When Bumblebee introduced himself, Spike giggled, saying that Bee’s name sounded exactly how they call a specific insect. The Autobot snorts, funding this coincidence amusing.

What a strange planet, and he began liking it already.

Spike asks if Bee came from that huge ship that was falling. He nods, explaining ( in his broken English I imagine) that an asteroid took them down, and then he fell through the hole into the water at high speed that almost tore his arm off. Spike winced sympathetically, assuring that now Bee is gonna be alright. Then he thanks the yellow Autobot for saving him, Bee smiled in response, saying he did what he was right. Though he gets curious how Spike ended up in the water in the first place and Spike blushes in embarrassment because he was looking at the descending Ark and he wasn’t paying attention that he was hanging on slippery ground. He fell and since he wasn’t a good swimmer, the current took him away from the land until Bumblebee found him later.

Soon Spike’s father returns with more supplies and he was pleasantly surprised that their guest can communicate with them. Bee thanks him for patching his arm, tho the old guy says he can do some more, while they try to find out where the Ark landed so they can return Bee back to his people.

A bit later in the evening, Spike decided to show Bee various VHS tapes documentaries about Earth( he almost moved tv and VHS player to the garage), he could have a picture of what their planet was like. The Autobot happily agrees, being both curious and see it as an opportunity to learn more English words.

After a few days, Spike’s dad found out where the Ark landed, on Belle Isle. He offered Bumblebee a lift ( he has a truck which also was used to transport the Autobot from the lake’s shore). Bee gladly agrees, being happy they were helping him even though they didn't have to. To which Spike replied that Bee didn't have to save him either, but he did it anyway.

Spike with dad helped him to get onto the thing where to connect the thing ( lol I forgot), they both sat into the car and began their ride.

The trip went okay, Bee even relaxed and looked around the city, being amazed because everything was new, the sensations were new. Though sure he could see people staring at him, understanding that they know about Autobots...after all, there is no way you could miss something like this as their crash landing. There was probably a lot of news going on about this.

Thankfully, Spike informed him that the ship didn’t kill anyone during the crash, which was a great relief on his spark.

Soon they arrived at their destination, Bee peeks over the truck to see the damage around ( a lot of broken trees), and the Ark wasn’t looking so good. He hoped at least everyone was okay!

Suddenly Windblade quickly walked out of Art’s entrance, expecting these humans to be more reporters or whatever and before she could draw any conclusions, Bee called her name and waved with his good arm which instantly grabbed her attention.

She ran over to her best friends, that he’s alive ( she was looking everywhere and was worried sick) and really wanted to bear hug him, but she saw the arm, so she hugged him gently. Then Bee explained to her that those humans helped him ( gesturing to his broken arm). Windblade thanked the theme, as Bee translated to them.

After that Windblade announced to everyone over comms that Bee is alive and found, but required medical attention. Meanwhile, Spike looked a bit sad and asked if he’ll see Bumblebee again. The bot smiled and told him that he memorized the path from Spike’s home to Ark, so he will find it again. For that Spike jumped into a hug ( Windblade quietly ‘awww’ed at the scene).

Windblade helped Bee to stand up and get off the truck, both humans wished Bumblebee speedy recovery before they headed home. She was asking Bee about his new friends ( and also commenting how it was only their couple of days on this planet and he already befriended aliens amazing), Bee ofc told her everything.

On Art, the crew was overjoyed with Scout's return, though Ratchet quickly led him into the med bay as it was clear how much damage he sustained. Meanwhile, Bee sends to Teletraan-1 anything he learned in English, to share with other Autobots, which Optimus was delighted with such a turn of events as it meant he can finally properly contact humans.

After Autobots got a bit established ( like making connections with humans and stuff), Bee finally paid a visit to Spike, the boy was so happy to see him again.

After that Bumblebee and Spike spend a lot of time together and become friends. Spike also befriended Windblade, while we weren’t as close with her as with Bee, they enjoyed each other's company. Spike’s dad also made friends among Autobots. Together they learned more about the world they were stranded in, with all its beauties and problems, discovering new things like sparks actually being in every living being, Bee has to train himself to probably filter signals, he mostly focused on sensing his fellow Autobots and humans.

Bee quickly grew attached to Earth, not really missing Cybertron anymore. Sure there are a lot of processes and it’s different for everyone but Autobots felt that they can actually live again ( or begin living for younger bots who were forged during the war), the future seemed bright.

When Spike got older ( around 18 yo) he informed Bumblebee that he will leave Detroit for a university opportunity. The news saddened the scout, not wanting to part with his human friend, but he understands that he shouldn’t be in the way of Spike’s hopes and dreams. Out of curiosity, he asks Spike what he’s gonna study ( he had multiple guesses because Spike liked a lot of things).To that Spike replied with the biggest smiles that he will become an astrophysicist! Spike never could choose one thing, but that fateful day when Autobots arrived has sealed the deal. He hoped that he would work at NASA one day. They both laugh.

The day when Spike was leaving, along with his father, they said goodbye. Spike promised to stay in contact with Bee, and the bot promised the same. Kilometers apart won’t matter, they will always remain best friends forever.

Bumblebee missed Spike greatly after this and he needed time to accept this, but thankfully they both were true to their promise and stayed in contact for all years to come.

Fast forward to 2018.

This is when the story would begin, as all previous events described in this document to this point would be revealed through flashbacks and such.

Autobots have been living in peace for 33 years now. They helped humans to progress, technologically, and socially ( Solarpunk setting). They are integrated into society and have jobs( Bee for example is a courier, though sometimes he acts as a diplomat at important meetings that he attends with Prime as humans tend to like him), some bots scattered across the globe to do their thing (though they ofc course pay visits to Ark).

The Ark is part of a big overgrown forest on Belle Isle. It is because Wheeljack and Perceptor wanted to fix the damage they did to the environment during their crush. And after some experimentation, trial, and error they made some sort of serum that stimulates trees to grow fast. Too fast even as plants got out of hand at one point, so they had to fix this as well.

Bumblebee took a liking of plants, so he started his own collection. This private chamber was damaged and has a missing wall after the crash, later it was fixed, it expanded a bit and has a lot of light coming in through windows so it’s perfect for plants keeping.

6 years ago he and Windblade befriended human Sari Sumdac, who is now 30 years old head engineer, working at Sumdac Systems along with her father. She's an absolute gremlin and always up to shenanigans, which awakes the gremlin side of Bee. Windblade tags along as well, maybe to keep an eye on them. All three are close friends :3

Sari builds an exosuit that improves her strength and grats a lot of cool abilities ( aka Iron Man but cooler) in case Decepticons show up.

He’s also in contact (which thanks to the internet became much easier) and friends with Spike, who is 48 years old astrophysicist at NASA, married to Carly, and has adopted son Daniel. Spike with his family visits Detroit each year to hang out with Autobots.

There is a lot of shenanigans happening on Ark, especially in group chat ( aka Discord server? with Sari and Spike invited.) The higher command are mods, but sure, Jazz loves changing channels names into something stupid :D

There are always twins ( Sideswipe and Suntreaker) with pranks, Jazz blasting music, Wheeljack blowing himself up again while Ratchet complains, fixing him again and again. They would do a lot of activities when free, (imagine them playing Among Us, Bumblebee being such a good imposter >:3) adopting human customs, they even get invited sometimes to entertainment shows ( you know, like those with two teams they have to do various impressions, etc).

The Bee loves music and got into drumming ( he had a habit of focusing on someones’ sparkpulse, using it as a base beat and used his hands to drum on various surfaces as entertainment back on Cybertron), he always does collabs with Windblade ( electro guitar), Sari ( keyboard + other electronic stuff, like a theremin) and sometimes Spike ( saxophone) to do video game music covers, they have a channel ( editing video and maintaining are on Jazz).

Fun fact: Bee’s drumkit and Blade’s guitar are one of few things of cultural value that actually survived the war, though they required repairment and some adjustments ( because the kit was too big for Bumblebee), they are in good condition now. There is writing on Cybertronian, showing the name of the company that used to produce instruments all those million years ago.

Autobots are living their best life, even though they are prepared in case Decepticons will show up at their doorway.

The arrival of Decepticons.

Decepticons left Cybertron soon after Autobot’s, as Megatron believed that Optimus stole the AllSpark and was determined to take it back and use it to fix their broken homeworlds. Unlike Ark, their spaceship, Nemesis, was in [perfect condition. so they traveled from star to star in order to find a signal from AllSpark.

The problem was that no matter how Shockwave updated the scanning system, they just couldn't find any traces. It was frustrating to Megatron, he could feel how much energy this object radiated every time he walked into the Chamber of Creation, but there was literally nothing. It couldn't just vanish into thin air, can it?

So they just kept guessing, checking every nearby star system. It took a lot of time and was fruitless and the Decepticons grew tired. Starscream especially, always dreamed about taking Megatron’s place and rule Decepticons. So one day, after another failure to locate the AllSpark, Megatron and Starscream broke into a fight, resulting in the warlord throwing his second in command at the control panel by accident.

Starscream face planted random coordinations and the Nemesis warp jumped to the Solar System, placing them on Earth’s orbit. Sunday scanners activated as they found Autobots’ signatures on this planet. Megatron laughs, he finally found Optimus so the AllSpark must be with them.

Soon they landed somewhere outside of Detroit, which didn't go unnoticed. Teletraan-1 alerts Autobots immediately. Bumblebee volunteers to investigate, followed by Windblade as a backup. Optimus approves the mission and the trio goes to Nemesis location.

Bee gets close to Nemesis, while Blade stays in the air just in case her friend needs a quick escape. He knows the plans of the ship well ( he infiltrated it a number of times), so he easily slips through the guards inside, into the vents. Soon he locates Megatron and carefully listens. He finds out about Megatron's intention to seize the AllSpark from Autobots. Looks like it's the only reason why they even came here and he will turn the city apart to get it.

Thankfully Wheeljack made a force field that won't let Decepticons in as a precaution for years ago. Still, that is a grim sign and they have to deal with Deceptions regardless.

Bumblebee hacks into their system and quickly downloads important intel.

Then he sees Shockwave, it takes a lot of self-control to not hiss, Megatron just gives him simple orders to oversee something. He takes orders and leaves, but Bumblebee notices that he went in a completely different direction ( as Bee knows the ship well) and didn't like it. Bee wants to follow and see what this mad scientist is planning, but he senses Ravage nearby. The cat is also moving quickly through vents, probably because Soundwave ejected him here in case Bumblebee will show up.

The scout quickly gets out beforeRavage discovers him and leaves. On the way back he shares his findings with Windblade, and later back on Ark with the high command of Autobots. They don't have the AllSpark (and even if they had they wouldn't give it to Megatron anyway), and they must drive Decepticons off the planet, or convince Megatron to stop.

So after this, I imagine a few instances when Decepticons tried to attack the city ( but couldn't get it), Autobots would usually lure them away from the city and fight them there. Here examples of shenanigans that happened:

Sudden dance off, the seeker trio( Starscream, Thundercracker, and Skywarp) was really confused about this shit;

Sari ( in her suit) is legit disassembling Decepticons in the mid-fight. Imagine, Starscream wants to shoot, but his null rays fall off, awkward;

She also stole t-cog ( the detail responsible for transformation) from Blitzwing, much later it was returned;

Devastator caught Bumblebee and was going to quash the scout. Bee on the other hand focused on Devastator’s sparks ( he’s a combiner, made out of 6 Decepticons known as Constructicons) by accident and could hear that chaos that is happening in Devastator’s mine ( since all 6 don't merge into one, they still present chatter, telling Devastator what to do which is pure chaos). That overwhelms him and he yells “QUIET”, silencing 6 six constructions which seriously freaks Devastator out and he falls apart. Much later he did the same trick again when tried to throw Devastator at Autobots again;

Optimus is trying to convince Megatron that they don't have the AllSpark which isn't working. Not letting his frustration get ahead of him, Prime starts throwing memes( which he carefully chose for a specific situation) at Megatron. Megatron is not amused ahah).

Megatron wants to move forward and maybe to take on other cities to force Prime to surrender, but Autobots are one step ahead( as they planned), surrounding Nemesis from various positions ( as Optimus called all other Autobots that live in different locations) to harass Deceptions from time to time, trapping their enemies effectively.

Conspiring with cassettes.

Later Autobots find out that despite the force field being up, and effectively repelling Deceptions, Soundwave’s cassettes are actually able to squeeze through. Wheeljack is hypothesizing it’s probably because of their size ( they are smaller than Bumblebee as intended) and looking for a solution to solve this.

Interestingly enough, cassettes ( 5 of them: Ravage, Laserbeak, Buzzsaw, and twins: Frenzy and Rumble) are not causing chaos while being out in the city. Bumblebee is keeping an eye on them, he can easily track them down, though they move fast which turns into some sort of game. At some point, he actually exchanges words with Ravage. Bee is trying to understand cassette's motives, but Ravage keeps it to himself ( though Bee senses some sort of enjoyment instead of malice).

Later Bumblebee gets a message from Rumble: they have a bomb and will blow up something ( I haven't decided sorry) if Bumblebee won't come to them alone. Knowing this is turned into a fight, he goes anyway without telling anybody as he wants to get to the bottom of this.

This indeed turns into a fight, as cassettes demand Bee to tell them where the AllSpark is. Bee tells them he has no idea like anyone else. Ravage asks why Bumblebee doesn't want to restore Cybertron, to which Bee replies that there is literally nothing left to restore. The AllSpark isn't some sort of magical object that can fix all their problems. Besides, Decepticons had it in control, why didn't they use it then? The situation gets really awkward after this, Frenzy admits that Megatron saw devastation only after Autobots left as his focus shifted to other things after his enemies were gone.

The fight stops, Bumblebee seizes the moment and asks where is the bomb they threatened him with earlier. Laserbeak just casually shows it, and in fact, it wasn't even activated. Rumble tells him when Megatron found out that cassettes and slip through the barrier, he ordered Soundwave to use the bomb to cause chaos. This isn't really what cassettes want to do, because finally in a million years they can actually roam free and explore new locations and things safe from Megaton.

Cassettes admit that they aren't really loyal to their leader, only participating in war because their caretaker, Soundwave, was loyal to Megaton...though his loyal shifted and now his loyalty revolves around keeping his cassettes safe because Megatron won't be nice if he finds out. So he keeps up his appearances, while he lets his cassettes roam free.

Bumblebee understands that situation is complicated, but he sees this as an opportunity to end this stupid war. After all, Soundwave is highly regarded by Megatron, so maybe he can work with this.

Buzzsaw thought asks what they are gonna do now as they failed the task, which is quickly decided to shift all blame onto Bumblebee, even for future situations like this as Bee revealed that he can sense from far away from anyone. Ravage realized it’s the reason why he and others were never able to catch him! So after this being decided they went back and Bee returned to Ark, sharing this only with Sari, Windblade, and Optimus Prime for security reasons, he doesn't want to blow cassettes cover by accident.

Infiltrating Nemesis again.

Bumblebee isn't having a good time. He gets forced into reboot more frequently than it used to, especially during battles with Decepticons. Autobots had to save him multiple times, which was a blow to his self-esteem. Not to mention Sunstreaker was at him again, insulting the scout. Bumblebee yelled at him in return ( something that never happened before), he gets angrier and more frustrated. His best friends are doing their best to help, but there is little they can do.

Ratchet examined him and scanners show that the spark shell is losing its integrity, as it wears off over time. That explained why so many reboots happened recently. He says that Bumblebee shouldn't go on the missions at all, and Optimus agrees with this. Bee doesn't take it well, believing they think he’s now being useless to them, and storms off.

Then he sneaks out at night, planning to infiltrate the Nemesis again with two purposes: to prove that he is still useful to Autobots and to find out what Shockwave is up to ( it still bothers him a lot).

He sneaks in like usual and at first, it was okay, but then the vent under him broke ( yeah those vents are worn off over so many years too) and he fell right before the Seeker Trio. So the chase begins, Bee still can get away and he knows the ship but suddenly an unfortunate thing happens - his spark malfunction again and sends him into forced reboot.

Next time he awakens, he’s being restrained on some sort of medical table, which Bee quickly recognizes where he is - in Shockwave quarters. That sends terror to his spark, not only he’s been caught and Autobots don't know where he is, but he’s at mercy of the mad scientist.

He tried to break free, but it’s useless, he never had much strength anyway. He looks around, and among his various projects, he sees something like a spire blueprint projected on the screen. It seems like it’s part of Nemesis. He doesn't like this at all.

Shockwave enters the rooms, carrying various tools with him. Bee asks what he’s gonna do with him. The scientist doesn't reply first as he runs the scanner over Bee’s entire body ( while he’s changing the project on his scene meanwhile), it detects something in Bee’s spark chamber.

Bee asks why Shockwaves keeps doing this,( like his sick experiments that even Megatron did not approve of). To this, the scientist replies that this war is going way too long and it will never end. So he decided to have a little fun while he can, he wants to relish in chaos and see the world burn.

He says that Bumblebee is carrying something interesting inside and he wants to find it. Shockwave activates his cutting tool and gets closer, intending to cut Bumblebee open.

Thankfully, salvation comes in an unusual form, Soundwave enters the room and demands to hand Bumblebee to him. Shockwave is not amused and refuses, so both argue until Shockwave gets an order directly from Megatron because the warlord wants Soundwave to dig intel out of elusive Autobot scout. After that, Shockwave can do whatever he wants with the prisoner.

Bee sighs with relief as he is escorted to Soundwave quarters. He doesn't make an attempt to escape, he can't really run away with a stasis cuff one + hr wants to get more insight on the Communication Officer. Maybe Soundwave knows what Shockwave is planning.

When they arrive, Bumblebee gets fully restrained again, and he’s mind gets connected to Soundwave’s systems ( via a cord) to start digging thought Bee’s mind ( if I remember correctly, Soundwave can read minds and emotions bc he can sense electric impulses in the processor or brain, he using cord here bc he wants to do deeper).

Bee is pretty calm about this, he doesn't carry any useful intel ( he usually drops it at Teletraan-1 when he completes the duty). So Soundwave is stuck with casual memories while looking for any indication of the AllSpark, though he comments on Bee's good drumming skills.

Meanwhile, Ravage self-ejects from Soundwave’s chest and be like “dude seriously how the fuck did you get caught?? what are you doing even?”. Bee asks if they know anything about Shockwave’s plans. Such a question surprises both Decepticons, Bee understands that they don't know anything. Ravage doesn't like the sound of this and asks Bee to elaborate, but before he can answer, the scout looks to the side, sensing Megatron is coming in this direction.

Ravage quickly transforms and tucks himself back into Soundwave’s cassette deck. In a minute, the warlord himself entered the room. He is pleased to see Soundwave already working on the task, while he turns to Bumblebee to take a good look at him as he never has seen the scout, who ruined a lot of his plans, up close - Bee would always be in the distance or lingering on the corners of Megatron’s optics before vanishing out of sight.

Megatron is acting pretty smug as a big nuisance in his grasp, though he admits he feels like he saw Bee’s face somewhere ( same reaction as Prime). He starts monologuing about how it would be great if Bumblebee would join him, they would win this war quickly. Maybe the little scout would convince Optimus Prime to join them, to which Bee asked if Megatron is still salty about Optimus breaking up with him.

That quickly pisses Megatron off, he grabs scout's neck and pins him heavily on the table, saying that he should watch his mouth. Bee isn't having this, replying ( as much as he can with his throat squeezed) that Megatron is an insolent fool who only focuses to keep Starscream on a leash, while Shockwave is plotting under his nose.

Megatron would probably hurt Bumblebee after this, but Sundewave reminded his leader that he’s still working and needs the scout in pieces. Megatron gives the order to continue, while he leaves. Both Bee and Soundwave sigh in relief, the latter commenting that the scout should keep it down in Megatron’s presence, to which Bee replies that someone had to say this.

Soundwave soon stumbles upon the Vector Sigma seal, locking the rest of Bumblebee’s memories. Soundwave asks Bee about this, to which the scout gives him the honest answer - he doesn't know how it got there and it’s been there already when he “first” woke up. Bumblebee asks if Soundwave can break it. The communication officer makes a few attempts, but it doesn't affect the seal at all. They need Victory Sigma, but it’s gone.

Bee expressed his frustration because he felt like the answer lies beneath it, but he said that he will find a way to stop Megatron. Soundwave replies that it’s impossible, but Bee doesn't buy this, he noticed the other reaction and it was hopeful.

Bumblebee also notices multiple sparkpulses inside Soundwave, his cassettes, but only 5 of them are active, while there are many more of them, and those cassettes are being stasis. Bee asks Soundwave how long they’ve been asleep. Soundwave pauses, not expecting that question, and they reply that they have been in stasis since the beginning of the war.

Bee now understands, Soundwave has been working hard for Megatron, wanting to end the war as quickly as possible ( that was a motivation for a lot of Decepticons as Bee found out when they reached out for him), while sparing most of his cassette the trauma.

They sat in silence for a minute before Megatron contacted Soundwave, demanding his presence somewhere while ordering to leave a cassette to guard the prisoner. Soundwave sits for another minute, communicating with these cassettes, then ejects Ravage and leaves the room.

Ravage stands still, listening to the environment and making sure the coast is clear, then tells Bumblebee “you broke out using shock bombs, understood?” and releases the scout. Bee quickly gets up, thanking the cat. To that Ravage says “Go left now, I’ll give you ten seconds”. Bee nods and runs out of the room.

After ten seconds the alarms burst on, informing that the prisoner had escaped. For convenience, Bee uses a few shock bombs he has with him as Decepticons try to stop him.

He gets out, though he’s also pretty beaten up and it takes hours for him to get back to Ark ( he couldn't transform). He collapses then he crosses the entrance.

When Bee awakens, he’s on a medical table. His body is fixed, though Ratchet gave the minibot an earful of lecture for defying his recommendations and now Bee’s spark shell is even more strained. Prime also talks to Bee, reassuring the scout that no, Optimus and other Autobots don’t see him as burned and he doesn't have to go to such lengths to prove himself ( those conversations happened often back on Cybertron).

Bee doesn't reply, yet the give into he gathered when he was stuck on Nemesis.

Soon after this, Bee actually gets to talk with Sunstreaker to resolve their issue. The taller Autobot admits that he’s been projecting a lot because he used to be like Bumblebee when he was younger. Then he was envious because, despite everything, Bee remains kinds and hopeful. The scout tells him it takes a lot of work to keep being him after all those tragedies he had witnessed. Sunstreaker nods, though he still doesn't understand who Bee can easily move on after leaving Cybertron, it was their home after all.

Bumblebee simply said that Cyberton didn’t feel like home, but prison.

And then the shit gets real!

Optimus decided to take another chance to negotiate peace with Megatron. They gathered near Nemesis, both Autobots and Decepticons just chilling (some interacting, like cassettes hanging out with Bee-Blade-Sari trio) while their leaders were negotiating.

At first there heated arguments between the two leaders, Megatron acting like Optimus is the one being unreasonable and trying to blame him, while Optimus being like “listen you started this shit, you have no one to blame but yourself” (more politely of course). Soon, they both calmed down and actually made progress, as Megatron noticed that a lot of Decepticons are being distracted by various Earthian things because it’s all new in a million years.

Before they could proclaim anything, Shockwave appeared. Bee tenses instantly, this can't be good. I haven't decided if Shockwave would monologue or not, but the end is the same - he shoots Bumblebee in the chest.

Before anyone can react, Shockwave snatches the minibot and lifts him to his level, taking a closer look at the wound. The shoot wasn't direct, but tangential - it made a hole in the chest and partly chipped away the protective shell, leaving Bee’s spark partly exposed.

The energy is pulsing through the hole now( while Bee’s pulse gets completely haywire as he tries to free himself), the signature, and the effect is unmistakable - this is the AllSpark. The amount of shock is impossible to describe, after all, Bee was carrying the AllSpark within himself and no one had an idea. Even Shockwave did not expect THAT!

Megatron is being evil smug again, now the AllSpark within his grasp! Except Shockwave has other plans. Instead, he activates his device, which was built into Nemesis. This spire was designed to fuck over all lifeforms on this planet ( including cybertronians), and with AllSpark his plan to cause massive chaos gets perfect as the AllSpark not only creates but also destroys.

As he was about to rip the AllSpark out of Bee’s body, this system got overwhelmed, but instead of rebooting, his body discharged the energy, creating a big wave that threw everyone away.

Bumblebee meanwhile is screaming in pain ( the AllSpark is slowly breaking him apart) and a surge of painful memories ( the wave broke the seal). Not to mention he’s surrounded and pretty sure he might die, if he wants to get through this - he must become stronger to protect himself.

That thought activates the interface, the Vector Sigma interface. It already had something set up there. Bee can’t really see what it is, something about protective armor(?), he confirms it, the interface turned into a small cell that absorbed a portion of AllSpark energy. Then, as if he knows what to do, he slams the cell into the ground.

For a moment nothing happened, then suddenly a huge amount of plant-like-black vine material burst from the ground. Everyone instantly got into their sense after that blast, now witnessing those vines connecting to Bee’s chest and the AllSpark, lifting him off the ground and begin forming something BIG.

Decepticons are trying to shoot those vines, but hey, they re heat resistant quickly grow back :) Autobots are trying to contact the scout, but his comm is dead, Windblade cannot get into him minds as it’s filled with so many negative emotions like rage, grief, desperation, depression. Said emotions also floored Soundwave, making him unable to move.

Soon Bumblebee ( or more like the huge shell that was growing around him) formed into a big, dragon-like creature, who leats out of deafening roar at AllSpark energy shoots everywhere. An he’s so angry that everyone around him can feel it in their sparks.

This is how he looks, he’s strong enough to throw big cybertronians around like chew toys. Bumblebee’s body is cocooned in the chest area, the light from the AllSpark shines through crevasses.

Despite being angry, he doesn’t attack first and Optimus could have reasoned with him, but Megatron decided it was a good idea to attack the bigger monster and this is when the shit gets loose.

Bumblebee trashes around, causing chaos around him, sometimes targeting someone and going after them for a few moments. All this is followed by energy discharges, so he successfully beats the shit out of everyone.

Shockwave is the only one who is pleased with surprise results, as he tried to collect data.

Soon Windblade manages to get a hold of her best friend’s mind and he tries to calm Bee down. He slows down a bit, which opens an opportunity for Sari to get inside thought crevasses and try to locate him.

She follows the opposite direction from energy flow, and soon she finds him. His face is a mix of anger and fear, Sari starts talking, trying to draw his attention to her. Soon enough he notices her ( the beast stops moving).

Bee tells her that he’s scared and he’s in pain. His body cracks more because even this large shall not contain all the power of the AllSpark. She hugs his head, telling that they will figure this out, but first hee need to stop thrashing around, he’s hurting everyone.

Meanwhile, Windblade does the same, using telepathy to talk to him. It worked and they always convinced him to just fly towards the Ark, but Shockwave wasn’t having that, and started shooting at Bumblebee, trying to provoke him. Bee is sort of back to his senses, seeing Shockwave again, angers him to the point that this anger throws Windblade out of his mind. Sari is alright, but the expressions on Bee’s face terrified her.

Bees run and pines Shockwave to the ground. Suddenly he speaks ( his voice sounds very distorted when it comes from the beast) telling him in space that Shockwave is the one who destroyed Cybertron and left them homeless. the mad scientist chuckles, commenting that this means his “pet project” had worked and he regrets nothing.

Bumblebee executes Shockwave without mercy.

After Bumblebee flies up heads towards the Ark, Windblade flies after him, while Optimus uses this moment to gather Autobots and get the hell out of there. Sari tells him over comms that Bee is breaking, so he asks Ratchet to drive ahead and help Bumblebee.

Bee meanwhile is almost there, but his body cannot take this anymore. The chest opens up and Bumblebee with Sari falls out of the monster( then the husk falls down and lands right by the entrance of Ark). They both fall for a few seconds before the AllSpark shatters into small pieces and they fly in different directions. Windblade caught them both, both saw what happened and got really scared that Bee might be dead.

There is small light coming from his exposed spark chamber, so Blade rushes to the medical bay, while frantically explaining to Ratchet ( who is on the way) what just happened. He instructs them to stabilize Bumblebee, enforcing he gets in and takes over.

Ratchet barely managed to save Bee’s life. After that, it took a lot of time to put the minibot together ( between all other urgent repairs of other Autobots that got fucked up by Bee’s outrage). Now, when the danger has passed, Ratchet can get a better look at scout’s sparks chamber that was hidden under the shell. Said shell was crumbled, he had to remove it. Then tells others what he’s discovered:

First, his spark still hosts a few AllSpark shards. He tried to remove it but it turned out that Bee’s spark IS merged with the AllSpark. His system even pings errors about missing components. This is ironic because it made sense that the AllSpark was causing erratic sparkpulses, but yet they cant separated it from him;

Second, he discovered that Bee also has Vector Sigma installed in his spark chamber, this is exactly those missing components from the broken device;

Third, now there is a plant ( it looks exactly like that vine from earlier) parasite residing in Bee’s body, it appears to be feeding on AllSpark energy. Ratchet tried to remove it, it slapped him on the face. It resists and refuses to come off.

It raises so many questions, of how and why Bee got both AllSpark AND Vector Sigma. There was a suggestion that Bee could steal, or maybe all of this was some sick experiment that Shockwave did, though now they won’t know with the mad scientist dead. Windblade feels that she was involved in this, but still has no idea how.

She still cannot stop thinking about what she saw in Bee’s mindspace during the rampage. He was overwhelmed by grief, sadness, pain, guilt and all of this he merged into anger. And that he carried this angger for a really long time, longer that any of them can imagine. Ratchet is sure that Bee cannot be older, but who knows. Perhaps Bumblebee had a different body in the past that was destroyed.

After a week Bee wakes up. Of course, he’s being hugged by Blade and Sari, everyone sighed with relief. Optimus asks if Bee remembers anything from the meeting. The scout thinks for a moment. He remembers being shot, he remembers paint and panic and anger, he definitely remembers killing Shockwave. He doesn’t know who to feel about it.

He also informed him about a plant parasite. Bee is surprised, but he feels fine for far.

He’s upset when he learns that he beat everyone up and proceeds to apologize before every Autobot that was involved in this. He also sees his discarded husk outside of the Ark, which is examined by Wheeljack and Perceptor ( and wondering if human culture influenced Bee to make this creature look like one of the monsters from his video games).

He doesn’t have any recollection of making it, though this form seems familiar...probably he saw that dragon in a video game...probably.

Bee walks around the island to clear his head, being joined by Sari and Windblade. He admits that he is partly scared that he killed Shockwave like this...but on hand, he’s relieved that this guy is gone and Earth is safe for now.

The scout also tells them that he remembered something during that fight that he could remember before. He tried again, but now it feels like his memories are scattered - they are there, but out of reach.

To see what’s going on, Windblade uses her abilities to get into Bee’s mind. She sees that the Vector Sigma seal is gone ( tho her own is still active), but now all those memories that were locked are either missing or corrupted. Even those that weren’t locked are broken. She hypothesized that the AllSpark shattering damaged his data banks, taking the portion of memories with shards.

That is just another reason why they must collect the shards.

Good thing that Bee can sense the shards, most of them landed in the city, but some landed outside, even near Nemesis which isn’t good. Later they come back and inform Prime about this and the high command starts formulating the plans of retrieving shards.

Meanwhile Wheeljack, Ratchet, and Sari brainstorm ideas of how to prevent the AllSpark from harming Bumblebee. The plant is absorbing the portion of energy, but it’s clear he still needs a shell. Sari tells them that Sumdac Systems will provide resources for the project.

Collecting the shards.

In general, the collecting of shards will go smoothly for most of the time, since most shards landed in the city. Some they found just laying in the bushes or roofs, some were handled by humans, some were even sent by mail. As new shards rejoin Bumblebee, Windblade helps him to restore his recent memories, while they still need to complete AllSpark to get access to previously locked memories.

Ratchet also keeps in check Bee’s health as new shards are added, and gradually builds a shell around the spark chamber, minding the plant.

So, few thing that happened during this time frame in no particular order:

Starscream got his hands onto one of the shards and caused chaos to both Decepticons and Autobots, he can even use it to get through the force field around the city;

Bumblebee created Grimlock, using an awesome t-rex animatronic as a base;

Thundercracker leaving Decepticons, thought he didn't go to Autobots either. He talks with Windbladem admitting that it was terrifying to see someone like Bumblebee so hurt ( he’s referring to that dragon accident) because of the war;

Discovering that the plant, living inside Bee is actually a symbiont - it protects its host when Bee is in danger, even helping him to lift a weight that Bee couldn't before ( though his body hurts a lot after this). Sari names it Clover ( in fact she did it with all Bee’s plants);

When the last shard is gathered, Ratchet doesnt final touches to the shell. He doesn't completely seal it away, letting it’s potions flow through Bumblebee’s body. This should reduce chances of forced reboot, thought they still might happen.

After this, Bumblebee secludes himself in his room, wanting to sort through all his memories, as those old one now finally accessible. After a few days he asks Windblade to come, He removes her Vector Sigma seal, and they talk through all those events.

Soon Bumblebee requests Autobots together ( who can come, if someone can't, then they will be sent the recorded version of this) in front of Ark ( where the husk is) because there is something that everyone must know. He also asks Soundwave to send Laserbeak to the meeting, so she can record this conversation and present it to other Decepticons, Megatron included. Soundwave obliges, sending Bee his regards.

The truth behind the AllSpark.

Now with all his memories intact, Bumblebee reveals that he’s not the guardian or an weird experiment involving the AllSpark, but he IS the AllSpark.

That one thing was enough to shock everyone( accepts Windblade). At first they thought that technically yes, bc Bee’s spark fused the AllSpark, but Bee elaborates that he was created by Primus billions years ago. Windblade confirmed it, as she knows the truth already.

To clear the confusion, Bumblebee starts from the beginning.

Primus was wandering around the Universe. Like any giant with planet alt-form, he had one desire - to create and host a life. While he could easily transform, create a new life, and then fall into eternal slumber, Primus wanted to leave someone in charge. Thus he created the AllSpark - a powerful transformer who can create, destroy and maintain life on the planet.

This person is Bumblebee, with a dragon-like altform, that looked almost exactly like that husk that now is resting in front of Ark.

Before Bee proceeded to his duties, he and Primus traveled around the Universe. Primus was teaching Bumblebee about life, about conditions required for life to exist, about material and what kind of life he can make. They visited planets, filled with various life forms: organic, silicone, energoinds and even other mechanical lifeforms.

Bee was observing living beings, learning about how they build, how they function, how they interact.

When the training was finished and Bee was ready, they traveled to a lone orange dwarf star(class K). Primus transformed and placed himself onto orbit. After this Bumblebee created the first cybertronian life.

In thousands of years he filled the planets with divine ecosystems, with various biomes and huge species diversities and even first sentient beings. For most of the time he left anything for natural selection, while keeping a close eye on it in case something appears that will threaten life on the planet. In this case, by his protocols, he must kill that being in order to preserve balance.

He admits, while he loved his job and enjoyed creating, he was lonely. Primus advised against forming a relationship with his creations because he thought that Bumblebee’s powers could be misused in this case, for example getting involved in conflict where he could be persuaded to insta-kill someone.

So he stayed out, but it hurt and he longed for companionship more than anything, which led to frustration and even anger at his creator for leaving alone for eternity.

Still, Bumblebee endured this and continued his work.

Peace lasted for a long time ( if you don't think of the wars that were waged between clans from time to time), until Quintessons began their invasion on Cybertron. At first they couldn't set their tentacles there as Bee was such a fierce protector, but much later they figured out to send drones to fight instead. That posed a problem for Bumblebee because yes, he can easily kill a living being, but cannot kill what isn't alive in the first place.

Bumblebee held endless hordes of drones for a long time, but eventually he was overwhelmed by numbers ( he was fighting alone, as cybertronians back there were no match to Quinesson’s forces) and killed.

Cybertron fell to Quintessons and everyone was enslaved.

Then Quintessons salvaged his spark( The AllSpark) and few more components to use the power of creation to create even more slaves. At first they couldn't use AllSpark, because it has quantuum properties. It creates endless possibilities, but none of their devices has enough strong sensors to set those possibilities, making them real.

Lucky for them, the components they got from Bumblebee’s dead body were connected to the AllSpark, with them Quintessons created Vector Sigma, a device that allows manipulation of the AllSpark.

They kept creating slayes, while completely ignoring anything else and soon all those diverse ecosystems that Bee made collapsed. The rain turned into acid, rust was crawling everywhere as Quintessons kept draining resources of the planet, while they tried to erase everything about Primus and AllSpark from cybetronian’s culture. While cybertronians still remembered Primus, the AllSpark was forgotten.

Hearing this was disturbing, considering the fact that after cybertronians liberated themselves from Quinesson’s tyranny - they kept using Vector Sigma for forging new bots.

Bumblebee wasn't too angry about this, they simply didn't know. Then he gets asked if he was killed, how Bumblebee is still here?

Short answer is they only destroyed his body. To explain this, Bumblebee reminds everyone how sparks work. Sparks are the lifeforce of every living being, but for sentient beings it also serves like a second brain/processor to process the emotion response.

But in Bumblebee’s case it’s the other way around: his spark is the main processor, while the head processor is for emotional response and processing the info from sensors. Primus made him like this in case Bumblebee's gonna get killed at some point so he could rebuild himself.

Sadly, because they quickly salvaged him, removing both his spark and components that we connected to it and separating them - that made rebuilding impossible.

And because of his spark’s quantuum nature, Bumblebee’s consciousness was locked in a quantum state, making him both existing and not existing at the same time.

He could only watch what’s happening. He was grieving over his work being destroyed, his creations being enslaved and potentially being forever stuck in quantuum sea, not able to interact with the real world again.

The time went by, and eventually, cybertronians livetred themself from Quintessons and it marked the beginning of the Golden Age. Bumblebee was lingering, watching this happen. He was a bit happier after this, despite the fact that society was locked in functionalism( when both's place in society is defined by their alt form. Like a jet could only serve in the army) - a leftover from Quintesson tyraty. Still, it was better than Quintessons!

Bumblebee continues lingering, sometimes he floats in the form of a random bot and asks if they can see him. Usually it never works, but one day, one bot was able to hear him. Bee was ecstatic about this, finally he could talk to someone ( even though his talking was mere whisper as he forgot how his own voice used to sound). He introduced himself as Bumblebee ( it was one of many names that was given to him by his creations during ancient times that he liked a lot).

Bee thought maybe he could tell someone the truth about AllSpark origin and maybe that would help him to get back to the real world, but sadly none of his attempts were successful. Some don't believe him, some did but were punished by strict government. Additionally as Bee realised that only those who can psychic abilities can hear him. And those bots are extremely rare.

Still, Bumblebee wasn't losing hope, and kept trying ( though he was being more thoughtful about getting his friend in trouble).

At some point, another big event happened - a gladiator named Megatron, with his partner, archivist Orion Pax ( who will later be known as Optimus Prime) created a revolution that liberated cybertronians from cages of functionalism. Now every cybertronian could be whoever they wanted, that pleased Bumblebee so much.

Not to mention now he has more chances to escape his quantuum prison, especially when a group of archaeologists has found a hidden temple that was dedicated to AllSpark - the only one that wasn't destroyed by Quintessons.

Even Megatron with Optimus came to see these fins. The most noticeable thing was the statue which archaeologists believed was the personification of AllSpark, which was an image of Bumblebee.

(That made Optimus realise why Bumblebee’s face was so familiar when he first met him. Sure the form is different, but the face remains the same( and same goes to Megatron).)

At the same time a group of scientists noticed some quantum fluctuation comic from the AllSpark and they were going to research this.

During this timeframe, Bee was really close to being found. He was really close to escaping.

But as if fate decided to fuck everyone over, things changed from best to worst.

It all started when everyone realised that Cybertron will be completely drained of resources in a few millions years. That caused the frantic search of planets where they could get them. One planet that was relatively close was found. It was rich and solved this problem...but it also hosted life.

Heated arguments began, Megatron believed that they can just go and take it, because they really needed it and they are superior to this primitive form of life on that planet. Optimus on other hand refused to harm those lifeforms, even if they are primitive, that they can look elsewhere.

Bumblebee sided with Optimus, he knew the fact that there is another system near that one, that is rich with resources they need AND also unsuitable for life. He knew it in case if he ever needed those resources he could go and get them back in the day when he was in charge here.

Bee frantically searched for someone who could hear him, so he could pass this information...but he had no luck. Soon the civil war began and it was the beginning of the end.

As war was going on, Bumblebee lost all hope. He saw destruction he hadn't seen since Quintessons invasion and Cybertron’s reasons were thinning. Soon there were no resources to make new bots.

Bumblebee tight there is nothing he can do and was saddened about upcoming doom.

Until and stumbled upon Windblade.

She was able to hear him. So they talked a lot and became close. Bee told her everything about himself, and when Blade was going to tell Optimus about Bee, he stopped her. Bumblebee was scared he's gonna be punished somehow ( it happened before in the past) but instead he has a plan, but he needs her help. She agrees, and waits until Bee is done with preparation.

Soon Bumblebee tells her about it, even a bit more urgently because he just saw Shockwave unleashing something that will kill everything and they need to get off the planet.

But first, Bumblebee needs a body. Now, when the Chamber of Creation isn't occupied anymore, Windblade sneaked inside ( Bee was carefully guiding her) the Spire, then got into the Chamber.

He instructed her to activate Vector Sigma, then managed to upload a blueprint to her data banks that she was able to upload to Vector Sigma.

Then he told her to set specific parameters, allowing the systems that were used for assembling bodies to scrap for resources. It was barely enough, still it gathered resources for a small body, compromising something like strength and armor.

Then he told her to cut open Vector Sigma and get important components - the very same components that belonged to him long ago and install them to the body's spark chamber.

The last step was taking the AllSpark, placing it in a spark chamber and sealing it in a protective shell that will suppress the AllSpark frequency.

When Windblade did all this, she waited. It was silent for a few minutes and she was anxious that the plant might not get worse...before the body powered up and for the first time in seemingly forever, Bumblebee opened his optics.

This was probably the happiest day of his life since he lost his body. He hugged Windblade, thanking her for getting him out. After adjusting and remembering how to walk to transformers, they left the Spire.

But now they had to figure out what to do. When Megatron finds out that AllSpark is gone, hell will break loose and they cannot have the AllSpark being taken again.

Bee cannot really protect himself. His body is fragile and will fall apart if he to unshesh his powers. And Decepticons like Soundwave can dig into one's mind to find out their secret. So it leads to a drastic solution - to seal any memories of him away. Blade doesn't want this, but understands it’s their only shotm so she agrees.

First they position themself near Autobot base.

Then Bumblebee activates his Vector Sigma interface, programming the seal in a specific way, so while memories are locked away, some feelings will linger. This will allow Bumblebee and Windblade to become friends again, and will also carry on the missing to make cybertronians leave the planet.

First he places the seal into Windblade’s data banks, which will activate in a few minutes and reboot her system. So it gives her time to arrive to base and be safe when memories are going to be locked away. She hugs him again before he leaves sayin “see you on the other side”.

Then he gets close to the road where Jazz soon appears, then he seales all his memories completely. The reboot happens and he falls on the ground, where next moment he’s being found by Jazz.

The rest of the story everyone knows.

Bumblebee gives free minutes for everyone to process the whole thing. It explained a lot of things: his reboots, his ability to sense sparks, that husk’s creation, pretty much everything.

So he’s being bombarded with questions, one of them was about what Shockwave did. Interestingly enough Bee never told Blade what exactly the mad scientist did. Bee tried to answer, but turned out he just cannot say this out of loud, that’s how terrible it was. Seeing the pained expression on Bumblebee’s face, everyone quickly moved on to different questions.

Another question was about Primus, because Bee made it sound like Primus was just one of many beings like him. Bumblebee reveals that in fact, Earth is also giant like Primus, and unlike his creator, she can communicate with Bee during the recharge.

So she’s asleep, but can talk to Bee when he’s asleep too. In fact he made a lot of attempts to connect, but because the AllSpark was sealed under shell, Bee could not hear her clearly. Until now.

She was asking if he can resurrect her two companions, who turned out to be Venus and Mars - two other giants that came to this system with her. Something went wrong when both transformed to planets that caused their deaths, rendering planets unsuitable to life.

Sadly, Bumblebee can only create or kill, he cannot bring the dead back. Once spark crosses the dimension and appears in the Well of All Sparks, it gets cleaned. It's a point of no return and the only direction for spark to go is forward - to it's new life.

After the meeting is over, Bee turns to Laserbeak, making sure that all this information was received by Soundwave, which she confirms. Now they can only hope for better, that this is gonna be enough to stop Megaton from his fruitless conquest.

Then he goes on another walk around the forest, thinking about his past, present and future. Despite everything, he’s glad he lived to this point. He has what he always wanted( aka companionship) and now there is a chance for everyone to thrive once again, along with humans.

The final stretch.

Of course, nothing can be that easy.

Soon after the big reveal, the entire Soundwave cassette horde( aka even those who were in stasis since the beginning of the war) arrives at the Ark’s entrance. They look terrified and begging for help. When asked what happened, Ravage told Bee that Megatron didn't take the news well when Soundwave presented that entire conversation to Decepticons.

Soundwave tried to reason with his leader, but Megatron got mad and hurt Soundwave, then he was going to hurt the cassettes as punishment, which resulted in fight and Soundwave ejecting every single one and telling them to run.

So they ran and came here, begging to save Soundwave.

This makes Bumblebee energon boil in his tubes, he’s almost jumped into his husk body to just run and tear Megatron apart, but he managed to calm himself. Optimus decided to go and deal with Megatron himself, and Bee tags along.

When they meet again with Megatron near Nemesis again, first Optimus demands to release Soundwave. Somehow they convince him to do so, and Autobots take him to Ark for repair and reunite him with cassettes.

Meanwhile Megatron demands Bumblebee to fix Cynertron, which turns into a heated argument, because there is literally nothing to fix. Bee cannot just magically undo all the damage.

In the end Bumblebee snaps, and just decides to do what he really, really didn't want to do - he wants to open the space bridge and show Megatron what is happening on Cybertron. If this won't help, he doesn't know what can.

Bumblebee warns that they might not get out alive, but Megatron agrees anyway, believing that minibot still can fix their home planet. Optimus Prime also joins, refusing to leave Bumblebee alone with Megatron.

They arrive at the Chamber of Creation and look outside ( as they are on top floor). The Spire is the only building that is still sanding, meanwhile anything else lay in ruins. Megatron is confused, he doesn't remember leaving Cynertron in such a terrible state.

Bumblebee asks them if they can see those drones. They cannot, asking what drones. He sighs, understanding they have to go to ground level and that's actually scary. Still, he activated the elevator and they went down.

At entrance they stop and now they see - countless tiny drones consuming metal, then multiplying. And their hunger knows no bounds.

Bumblebee reveals that those “Scraplets” were created by Shockwave in order to cause chaos among Autobots. But they didn't work as he intended he just threw them away. They landed near Cyberton’s core, which activated them...and they began to consume everything in sight. When Scaplets got to Cybertron lavras ( it’s like the immune system of the planet) and Bee felt their deaths, he knew the time was up and they needed to run.

Now it made sense why Bumblebee killed this mad scientist in the first place.

Megatron asks if Bumblebee can kill them, but Bee says he can only kill living beings,while those things are just sparkless drones and they will devour him quickly.

After a minute, Megatron sighs in defeat, telling Bumblebee he can take them back to Earth.

He nods and about to open a portal...then suddenly his spark is acting up again, sending a huge power surge around him. Once again he is forced into rebooting before he can open a portal.

This caught the attention of scraplets and they charged at bost. Optimus grabs Bee, and both he and Megatron start running. First they tried to make it to the elevator, but it was already being chewed.

So they were forced to take stairs. So Optimus carrying Bee, and dragging Megatron with him, Megatron is shooting from his fusion cannot, breaking shit to slow down scraplets.

When they reach the top floor, they have nowhere to run. Megatrons asks how soon Bee will be back online, which according to Optimus’s chronometers is 3 more minutes. Megatron feels that they don't have it and suddenly the entire building is rumbling.

Because it’s being eaten, it starts falling, while scraplets are seeping inside the chamber. Two bots look at each other, and do the leap of faith ( while holding onto each other and Bumblebee of course). Just before they hit infested ground, Bee suddenly wakes up and he opens a portal. All three fall into it and are transported back to Earth.

Panicked they look around for scraplets that could be transported with them, but thankfully there was none. They are safe.

Optimus is surprised that Bee woke up earlier, and the minibot himself is surprised as well. Though he quickly realised it’s because of his plants symbiont + new shell combinations - his system still gets overwhelmed, but not as drastically as before, allowing his system to recover quicker.

After this, Megatron allows Autobots to leave in peace, while he still needs to process everything he saw.

Later ( with Optimus help) he declares that war is over and that Earth is their new home, which was surprisingly received well by other Decepticons ( he told them what he saw).

Finally Bumblebee can sigh in relief, finally they can have a bright future ahead of them and he’s looking forward to it.

Trivia( aka random stuff I didn't know where to fit).

Cybertronians can breathe and it’s part of their air cooling system, as such a process allows them to quickly inhale cooler air and exhale hot air. When calm they don't actually breathe, but as soon they are scared/excited/in a fight - they start doing this;

They can also cry, and it’s also part of the cooling system. Processors and spark chambers tend to be heated more than anything and require cooling by liquid nitrogen. When strong emotional responses happen, heating goes off the charts, and because optics are so close to the head processor - there is a risk of melting them. So the liquid nitrogen gets pumped to optics as well, and because this liquid has a low boiling point - those tears take a form of gas, seeping through the space between optic and face. Older bots don't cry much because they kinda get used to horrors of the war, while younger like Bee are actually more emotional and showing it often. Even after restoring his memories fully, he’s still emotion as hell;

Bumblebee is sleepwalking sometimes, and if he sees another person he starts whispering “Can you see me?” over and over until he gets the “right” reasons which is “Yes, I can see you, Bumblebee”. After this he falls back to recharge. That scared a lot of Autobots first, they discovered the right answer when Optimus replied, thanks to his tendency to give full and polite answers. This happens because of trauma when Bee lost his body and became “non-existent” to anyone;

He used to terrify Decepticons when he infiltrated their bases to the point they thought that Bee was some sort of Autobot vengeful spirit that came to hunt them. Bumblebee used his abilities to avoid his enemies, while toying with them, like lingering at the corners of their optics before disappearing and even whispering”Can you see me?” right into their audio sensors.);

When Decepticosn arrived on Earth, Bumblebee was an anxious mess, he was afraid that Earth might die just like Cybertron did. To give himself hope and a way of coping, he remembered the legend that if you fold 1000 origami cranes, your wish will come true. He made the first crane soon after Decepticon’s arrival, and the last right before he received his last AllSpark shard. Now those cranes are everywhere on the Ark;

Spike visits Detroit at some point, but I haven't decided when. Probably when the AllSpark shattered, so he helped to restore it too;

Bumblebee has two strong phobias:

Athazagoraphobia. The fear of being forgotten, ignored, or abandoned;

Monophobia. The fear of being alone for a long time;

In future, humans figured out the way to transport their mind into their spark and then transport that spark into techno-organic bodies which ultimately extends their lifespan.

Sari was one of first humans doing this, not wanting to leave Bumblebee and Windblade;

Spike, on the other hand, decided to die of old age because he felt like he did everything he wanted and his journey reached his end. Bee was really upset about this, but let Spike go. Spike spent his last moments with Bee.

Also in the future, Bumblebee’s body gets an upgrade, restoring his original form alt-form (6 legged dragon), though it’s smaller than before, Bee used to be small and finally comfortable with this. He will also be in charge of creating new cybertronians and terraforming new planets;

This is how Bumblebee used to look like;

Here’s the statue that was discovered, that Optimus and Megatron saw before.

#my art #transformers #sparkpulse au #maccadam #bumblebee #windblade #sari sumdac #sparkpulse spoilers

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bloodstainsontengensfloor · 4 years ago

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... is this just one big appreciation post for the women of Jujutsu Kaisen? Yes. It is. I go looking for some JJK content and I need more love for my powerful ladies! ⚠️SPOILERS FOR VOLUME 0 AND FOR MANGA!!! ⚠️

Kugisaki Nobara:

The girl of steel.

Her most iconic moment is the “I AM NOBARA KUGISAKI!” She is someone who has a strong sense of self and I’m honestly jealous. She knows who she is, and she’s confident in that. Nobara is funny and full of life and character. She’s comedic and in her introduction, despite being unsure on what to do with the child hostage, handled the situation in a way I didn’t expect based on what was presented by her so far.

She was introduced as confident, blunt, judgemental, and conceited. When the child was taken hostage, she, unaware that Itadori would come in throwing punches, set her stuff down. She was the one who took down the curse, it was her test after all, and I honestly love the little head pat she gives the kid after. It’s such a small gesture but it’s so sweet.

No Character is a good one without flaws and Nobara has her fair share of them. Like stated before, she’s conceited and her bluntness is sometimes just rude. She saw herself as above most people in her old town because she couldn’t understand how they could be so small minded and live simple lives when she in fact is a little small minded and naive. The first curse she faced wasn’t one she was totally ready for, but in the end conquered. She views Maki and Mai as a bad twin/good twin situation. She never met Sukuna so can only judge Itadori based on who she knows, Itadori. She understands the gender norms of the Jujutsu world and believes that she can change them as long as she just is her. She knows she’s pretty and she knows she strong so what could go wrong? (Loosing an eye).

Something I do love about her though is that she had friends and people she cared for before she came to Tokoyo. Before she uhm... gets injured, she thinks about an old friend and how she doesn’t think she will get to met up with her like she promised. Nobara is a great friend with a lot of love to give. She’s truthful but not perfect.

Random fact I love: her hair is dyed.

Zenin Maki:

The woman who will prove everyone wrong. She’s ambitious, powerful, and hardworking. She began at the very bottom of the world she lived in, and is still restricted by these boundaries even after she proved herself over and over again. But never once did she let that bring her down.

She can’t see curses without her glasses, (as someone who wears glasses most of the time, it’s hard to always keep them on your face), and has very limited cursed energy that she must rely on cursed infused objects for battle. But that isn’t the bad kind of relying on because of the fact it makes her extremely skilled and resourceful. She uses a bunch of different weapons and is ‘incredibly strong’.

She is blunt and straightforward, but can also be someone who teaches others. Personally, I’d hate to have her as a teacher because she would push me to every limit I want to avoid but should reach. Maki is the leader of the Tokoyo kids, I can’t take no argument. She will put the protagonist in his place. You don’t get to come back from the dead and act like you are in charge smh.

She admires strength. Her ‘type’ is someone who is strong, but it can be debated what kind of ‘strength’ she means. The Jujutsu world’s restricted view on strength is something that limited her for years and was still limiting her up to the current manga arc. Does she admire someone who’s strength is in their physical, mental, or emotional manifestation? She’s a great character and it gets more expanded in Volume 0. I need to re read that, and omg Maki like lost a crap ton of limbs and now she is like... roasted??

Praying she lives and that her father dies so she can work on becoming the head of the clan, like she wants. Fushigiro has the power but he cut ties with the fam and Mai has no desire. So... Maki as head of the Zenin Clan 2021... well I guess 2018?

Random fact I love: maki’s name has the kanji for “genuine” and “hope”.

Zenin Mai:

I have exhausted this topic. But I’m in love. (I wrote this whole thing and my thing glitched and deleted all my work rip)

Mai is confident and crude. She’s introduced as rude, inconsiderate and just all around your basic mean girl. She’s pretty, she’s confident and she doesn’t care if what she says hurt you.

However, one thing that seperates her from every other character in the story, is that she has no desire nor ambition to be a Jujutsu Sorcerer. As a child, she was scared of curses and it’s implied that she may still be scared of them as a teen. She was content living as a servant in her home because at least she would have a normal life. But, had she stayed in that life she would be living in a toxic household where she got no love and was viewed as lesser than. Despite not wanting to be a jujutus sorcerer, her sister’s ambitions of being one forced her to do the same and try to stay on par with her. At Kyoto, Mai develops... great friendships. She’s given kindness and love. This much can be seen in the conversation with her and Nishimya and the softness in her face when she simply says “I know” over the phone.

Personally, I don’t believe the Kyoto students are aware of Mai’s desires, due to the fact that Nishimya talked about the barriers placed against Mai/Maki as something distasteful for Mai.

Mai is someoen who puts on an act. She plays the part of your basic mean girl because what else is she supposed to do? She’s unhappy, and the only thing she knows how to do is lash out. She only knows and maybe even wants people to feel as bad as she did and does. She’s dependent and has abandonment issues due to her sister’s act of letting go of her hand.

However, what Nobara says is right. Misfortune doesn’t allow one to do what they want or to justify when they do bad things. Mai, like a lot of the Kyoto students, don’t know how to cope and deal with the bundles of emotions and conflict within them. They only know to lash out. In the story, Mai is still a minor character, but she has potential for growth, and I really hope it’s given to her.

Fun fact I love: Her first name contains the Kanji for “Geunine” and “rely on”. I love this because Mai might not even know who her genuine self is and in the recent manga chapters she’s relied on as back up from a distance.

Kasumi Miwa:

She’s the anchor of the Kyoto gang. Unlike the others, she doesn’t have major emotional baggage. She led a simple life and has a simple goal. Miwa wants to be a Jujutus Sorcerer to get enough money to help provide for her poor family.

Her story has a rag-to-riches type beat. She met a Jujutsu mentor who she trained under and learned how to wield a Katana so she wouldn’t have to burden her mother. She’s selfless, kind, and down to earth. Miwa has a fangirl heart and admires big name people like Gojo. She had major self confidence issues, despite all this. She had to work for this and has a goal in mind, but that doesn’t mean she’ll always feel useful.

Her relationship with Mechamaru is bitter sweet. She wants to know him better. Despite it being a prank, she does try to give him little gifts and make him feel included in everything they do. He protects her when his actions as the mole potentially put her endanger. It hurt watching the part of Miwa talking to his empty robot self while he did what he needed to.

And his last messages to her through the little ear pieces 😭😭.Even after knowing what he does, she’s still there to listen and is still there for them to rely on.

Miwa is just a breathe of fresh air in this story, but that doesn’t exclude her from the angst and trauma that comes with a story as dark as this.

Fun fact I love: it’s not a fact, but she wears a full on suit. I love it. I love it so much.

Momo Nishimya:

She’s a little witch 🥺. Momo Nishimya is introduced as somewhat reserved. She expressed nervousness over the abilities of the Tokoyo kids. In her fight with Nobara, she acknowledges her as strong and severely underestimated her. However, like Nobara, she’s willing to defend her friends at any chance she has.

The minute Nobara expresses distaste toward Mai, Nishimya immediate begins to defend her and starts lecturing Nobara on how women are treated unfairly in the jujutsu world. She introduced this idea that a woman must be pretty and strong, and I really hope this idea comes into play more and more later (and I think it will). Despite having a female teacher who is strong yet scarred, she expresses the idea that a scar is setback for a woman.

Her and Mai get along very well. The two of them are somewhat the troublemakers that Miwa constantly has to wrangle in (The dynamic between those three I love). Her character is pretty minor but in the reccent chapters, I loved how she got her mini moment. Itadori and her were the only two who were able to avoid Uraume’s ice and talks to Itadori passively and tries to even work with him. It’s a big step from how she begins with telling Nobara that she is a fool for being unable to distinguish a curse from a friend.

Fun fact I love about her: she’s Japanese American with an American father. Same, but I wasn’t raised Japanese whatsoever 🥲.

I’m going to do a part two with our adult ladies but that’s all for now folks!

Fun facts from the JJK Wiki page!

#jujutsu kaisen #jjk spoilers #mai zenin #maki zenin #nobarakugisaki #jujutsu kaisen miwa #nishimiya momo #jjk anime #anime #jjk

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ruby-whistler · 3 years ago

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I recently took your latest survey and I was having some thoughts like I tend to do and thought I would try to understand your POV better and give some insight into mine. I wouldn’t consider myself a “apologist” for any character and actually really hate how the term is used, but in general I disagree with the main opinion I’ve seen on your blog which is that Dream should get a redemption arc. However, my reasoning isn’t one that I see you commonly argue against. (Being that dream shouldn’t get a redemption arc because he’s done bad things.) You always ask some interesting questions, I enjoy taking your surveys, I’ve done all the ones I’ve seen on my dash. So I’d like to in turn ask for your opinion on some things and see your opinion on my POV, if that is ok with you. I just find it interesting to discuss.

the view I see a lot of Dream apologist have is that everyone should have the opportunity for a good ending, which is true.

But I feel like it kind of misses the point of well, we are discussing characters, not real people. Now of course, what we say and write about characters can still have an impact, but I feel like sometimes this fandom in particular goes too far down the route of seeing these characters as people. To the point where anything said about the character is seen as proof of that persons morals, and not something said about a story.

For example, going back to the point about how everyone should have the opportunity to heal, I think that is true. But the fact of the matter is, not everyone will. It’s not realistic. So it makes sense that in stories, not ever y antagonist will have a redemption. I think there’s a huge difference between saying you don’t want a character to heal in a story, and saying you don’t want someone to in real life. For me it completely depends on how well it would work narratively in the story, not how much I think the particular character deserves it.

There’s a reason why the whole “power of friendship” trope is often mocked. It’s because it’s anticlimactic. It takes away all the stakes, leaving you with a rather stale, and hard-to-believe ending. People who have had a considerable downward spiral often can’t be completely derailed by a simple “no, this isn’t right” or a brief act of kindness. To better explain this I think it would help to take a step back from the story and characters we are attached to and just take a look at different stories that are pretty well known. Just to kind of put what I’m trying to say into perspective better.

I’ll take Marvels Infinity war/endgame as a example here because I think a lot of parallels can be drawn from Thanos to c!dream. (And I used to be really into marvel.) What with the whole “greater good” “one big happy family” thing they want to achieve through harm, murder, and total control. Also the disc war finale was literally pulled from endgame lol. With both characters we can see they have at the very least a not terrible motive. If you look closely enough it’s possible to sympathize with them. Less so for me with c!dream simply because we haven’t gotten a real solid backstory or reasoning from him, besides pieced together fanon that we have no real way of determining the accuracy of yet. But I get that some people do really like the character. But keeping along those lines of comparing the two, they’ve both done a ton a very terrible things, and don’t seem to feel any regret for them. (Actually, scratch that, there are scenes that imply thanos at least did feel somewhat bad about what he was doing, another reason that he’s more sympathetic for me. Of course you could claim that c!dream is less emotional or just doesn’t show it, which could be true, but there’s also the claim that he just doesn’t care, which could also very well be true. Again, we sadly don’t have too much insight to his character, which is a shame in my opinion. I’d like the see more of the writers intent.)

So the reason for my comparison is to ask this question, taking away all bias. do you think that giving thanos a redemption arc would of been the right way to take the story. Again, I think both their arcs are easily comparable, seeing as the dsmp pretty much took direct inspiration from those movies in the latter part of season 2. This might be a bit harder to answer if you haven’t seen it but you could easily look up a summary if you wanted to, or just take my word for it that they are pretty similar lol.

Becuase, if the answer is no, then I’m not sure how much some of the points you’ve made on this blog hold up. Besides being based off your liking of the character, which is valid. (there’s a reason why fanfic and fanart exists) but that doesn’t mean that such a ending would be good for a story. Again, I can understand why you would want a redemption for c!dream, just like I want my favorite characters to have a happy ending, but that doesn’t mean I actually want it to happen. Above all else I want a good story.

Just to clarify, I’m not asking if you think these characters deserve redemption. I’m asking if you think it would work well narratively and give a solid conclusion. Because, like I mentioned earlier, this is a story. We arnt discussing the fate of real people here. Having a villain not be redeemed is not the same as saying people who have done really bad things should not be redeemed. Likewise, having a villain be redeemed isn’t saying what they did was ok. Villain redemptions can be well done, but they have to make sense narratively and be satisfying. In this case, I personally believe a redemption for Dream would not be interesting or compelling in the slightest, for the same reason I don’t think endgame ending in a redemption arc for thanos would be interesting or compelling in the slightest, despite the fact that I like both characters.

Part of the reason I brought up marvel at all is I want to kind of reframe the story, because I feel like this fandom has a oddly unique way of viewing the characters and story. Like I mentioned, the characters are often discussed like they are real people. Discussing c!dreams fate is treated like your discussing the fate of a real man, not a character in a story. I think there are some possible reasons for this. For one, all the characters are somewhat attached to their steamers counterpart. So, we feel more attached to them as a whole, and they feel more like real people. Another reason could be that you can watch almost any perspective you like, and leave out any ones you wish to as well. It’s a bit like a choose your own adventure book. So, in a way, pretty much every character could be considered a protagonist.

Which is where I can see a possible argument against my point. In a story where every character is the protagonist, the only satisfying outcome would be one that pleases fans of every POV. Which is where I can see this argument take place of “well, do you think ___ deserves a good ending? Then what about ___?? Surely you must think everyone does, or you just have bad morals!”. It’s a unique situation that I don’t think I’ve seen before. Of course, everyone has their favorites in a story, but the difference here is there are no supporting characters or solid antagonist.

And honestly, I think originally Wilbur saw the possibility of that problem arising, which is why he once stated that he wanted the characters to serve the narrative, not the other way around. It’s interesting that we didn’t have nearly as much discussion like this back when Wilbur was writing, because the story was much more conventional. But by the time we got to season three, that sentiment had been pretty much completely thrown out the window, leaving us with what we have today.

This is why I personally prefer the previous narrative. On one hand, this current way of story telling is very unique, and has a lot of potential, but comes with a lot of downsides. Conventional story structure just,,, doesn’t work out as well. Which is why I personally see the best course of action as using Dream as the overall antagonist. Giving Dream a tragic backstory, hidden motives, and eventual redemption arc just wouldn’t do much for the story in my opinion. Sure, it would make people who enjoy and sympathize with his character happy, but it runs into the problem of all the storylines being very separate. Like yeah we can have a separate redemption arc for each and every character, but I just don’t see how we would get an actual story out of that. I think a central villain could really pull things together, but at the moment it’s unclear if that is what they are going for. I guess we’ll just have to see where things go? Maybe there’s some answers to our questions in the aforementioned Dream lore stream? I personally believe he is being written as a central antagonistic character, but I can see where the opinion that he is not comes from, despite not personally wanting the story to take that direction.

I know this is very long, and I apologize, but seeing as you often make surveys and things asking for others povs, which I would imagine results in pages of paragraphs, I figured you wouldn’t be opposed to this. I’d like to hear your opinion/thoughts, but if you don’t want to respond I am fine with that.

alrigh, putting this one onder the ol’ cut because the ask is long enough /lh

so, i don’t actually take “everyone deserves to heal” as an argument why c!dream should have a redemption arc - more like an anti-argument for why he shouldn’t. my main reasons for why i believe he should be redeemed is 1. it’s the only thing that makes sense for the story 2. it’s the thing that makes the most sense for the character 3. he just genuinely deserves better after what he’s gone through 4. at this point anything else would send a really bad message 5. he’s the perfect character with the perfect setup to get one. it’s not just because i like him.

i don’t take what people say about characters deserving redemption as proof of their real life morals, or an example for how they’d treat real people, however i can still say these takes are atrocious, make no sense, or even upsetting and make me want to interact with the person less. they’re often born from bias and are completely illogical from both an objective and a philosophical sense, which is why i speak out about them, not for real life morality issues. this fandom has some of the most ridiculous and unsettling views of the story i’ve seen.

stories are not meant to be 100% realistic. art is supposed to have an improvement of real life - redemption arcs in stories that are well-written aren’t invalidated just because in real life, people don’t become better more often than not. if all bad people became good people, that would be cool actually - it’s not what’s gonna happen in real life, but doesn’t mean i should be opposed to it if it’s pulled off well.

alright, full disclosure, i have never watched a marvel movie in my life. i don’t plan to, really, i read books instead of watching movies most of the time. with the limited knowledge i have of thanos, i’d say some parallels can be drawn, but they’re not the same character at all, nor is their personality, story, or narrative the same. we have gotten confirmation on the fact his goal is peace and for people to get along, and i don’t know what you mean by “pieced together fanon”, but people believe or deny what they want, so whatever. i’d argue he’s easier to sympathize with, but then again, i haven’t watched marvel movies, so in my mind thanos is less a “sympathize” and more of a “understand his motives” type of guy.

i think that if thanos was a character in an environment of less than thirty people, with a home he owned and his family torn apart and divided, becoming more and more ruthless in attempts to stop people from starting long-winded conflict, who has proven again and again to care about people, but employ horrible tactics less despite and more as a result of it, and was defeated and abused in a cruel prison system for several months, while the narrative deliberately shows of his humanity - then yes, i think he should be redeemed. if that is not thanos, then perhaps you should’ve chosen a better comparison, or not used one at all.

seems very out of character to me. perhaps if you think c!dream and thanos are really the same person, you should start considering actual canon more than your own feelings about the character. just a suggestion.

i myself think that everyone on the smp deserves to heal and be redeemed, however i think c!dream will be the only person to get an arc in the upcoming months, because everything is pointing towards the fact and at this point it is pretty obvious the story has picked that option to go with. this is purely story and narrative-based, and my feelings match up with it more than the other way around.

i believe that a redemption arc for c!dream would, because of recent as well as older developments, be the only compelling and interesting writing choice in the upcoming arc. you disagreeing - well, i guess that’ll be your opinion until you’re proven wrong or not. however i strongly disagree because of the themes, narrative and characterization that seem to strongly disagree with you on the subject as well.

cc!wilbur’s literal last wish when leaving the writing was to keep all characters morally grey, no overall antagonist or protagonist. and the writers did a hell of a good job with that, however i guess the fandom wasn’t ready for darker and more philosophically difficult themes to be explored so they promptly switched to a pure black-and-white view of the story (which cc!wilbur straight up criticized them for), i think to try and gain a moral high-ground or something?? idk, they ruined the thing for themselves though, it was definitely not the writers’ fault.

there is no “the story” from a narrative stand-point. all of the characters have wildly different narratives and outlooks. if c!dream’s redemption wouldn’t do much for the story you are watching? honestly why should i care, the dream smp is more complex than that.

if you think c!dream should stay the overall antagonist, maybe you’ve already lost track of the lore. quackity at the moment seems to be the character with the most potential to make a negative impact on several characters’ narrative (hence becoming an antagonist of at least part of the overall story) while c!dream is stuck being the literal victim of his in a prison that is deliberately framed by the writers as dehumanizing and corrupt. if “this character’s vulnerability is being exposed and he is being actively traumatized and outdone by a different villainous character” doesn’t scream “extremely likely redemption arc” to you, i don’t know what will.

c!dream hasn’t been the “central antagonist” for the past six months and there are like three characters already fighting over filling in the spot. if you don’t want the narrative to take that direction? i am sorry, but i don’t think there is much you can do about it.

#my asks #anon #long post

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thegeminisage · 4 years ago

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Here's something I'd love your take on: I read a meta recently (would link it but I can't remember where, ack) that suggested that Sam is able to forgive John in later seasons because a) he's had the whole "family making unilateral decisions for your own good" thing repeatedly shoved down his throat, and b) whatever John did under this umbrella in their childhoods, Dean has done far worse by that point, and Sam HAS to forgive him so by extension he can't really be mad at John anymore (1/2)

(2/2) As someone who has admittedly only seen bits and pieces of the later seasons, this seems to jive with Sam losing a lot of his characteristic early-seasons anger, letting Dean call the shots almost all the time even when he thinks it's the wrong move, and moments of sympathy for John (contrasted w/Dean's growing resentment, which is so interesting!). But! I got some big ol' gaps in my spn comprehension, so was curious if you had any thoughts on this dynamic

wow okay long answer warning! i got carried away and forgot how to use punctuation. nobody is obligated to read all of this lol and the biggest part of the answer is behind a cut. anyway!!

first things first: i think a big thing to remember with sam’s characterization in later seasons is that it’s like...not there, and when it is there, it’s sometimes flat and inconsistent. because dean became sole the main protagonist after the first 8 (arguably the first 5 or even first 2) seasons, sam sort of got demoted to “side character we don’t know what to do with” along with cas and crowley. they all had good arcs pop up now and then (sam had some fun stuff going on with lucifer in s11 and s13) but most of the time the writers either don’t know how to give him a meaningful characterization or don’t care (or both). so we have to do a lot of that work ourselves.

so, for example, when we talk about sam losing his anger, i like to read it as him OVERCOMING that anger to avoid becoming his father (which may even be where some of the seemingly sympathetic comments come from, because he’s trying to be forgiving instead of angry), but really...it’s that the writers forgot he had anger issues. in-universe explanation vs irl explanation, yk? and i think pretty much all meta about sam in late seasons is written through that lens, whether the writer of that meta knows it or not. including this one! i can’t prove any of this shit, it’s my personal reading, i’m making it up. like there were just SO many different people involved in the production of supernatural that there was a lot of conflict and contradictions in things like continuity and characterization. (most of the writers room hadn’t even seen every episode!) so there’s not one definitive way to go about it. in many ways it makes the characters more nuanced and in many other ways it makes me fucking insane.

as for sam and john and whether or not sam forgives him, i’m actually glad you asked because this has been driving me nuts for a long time and it took me SO LONG to pin it down - sam’s relationship with john is very different to dean’s, and i couldn’t figure out WHY. it’s not that he was “abused less,” it’s not that he loved john less or was less hurt by his actions, so why doesn’t he seem as INVESTED in everything that happened to them as kids? like he says in season 14 he had to learn to let it go and that it was all a lifetime ago for him. meanwhile i think dean still deals with it every day. he’s still stewing in it to some degree 24/7. so like what’s the difference??

i think it comes down to two things. firstly, that while dean didn’t have anybody parenting him except john (and mary, but only for a very short time that he could actually remember), SAM’S parents were john AND DEAN. most of the time dean was the one raising sam, and in fact he arguably did way more parenting of sam than john did. so the person that made dean feel safe and like he could fight back against monsters, the person he was grateful to, was john. but the person who made SAM feel safest was dean. he doesn’t have that same gratitude towards john that dean does and he never will, because of how john made him feel alienated and excluded from their family growing up. dean’s resentment of john is so tangled up in this very deep and unconditional love and gratitude for him that sam just doesn’t have.

secondly, i think dean has a serious case of “i can fix him” re: john that sam doesn’t have and possibly never had. john just never showed sam the same kind of inclusion and warmth and trust that he showed dean (however rarely he showed it, and however fucked up it was). i think sam figured out very very early on that their quest for yellow eyes was either a long shot or straight up impossible, and that they couldn’t waste their entire lives doing it, and that even if the demon died, john was never going to change. dean 100% drank the koolaid - he really truly believed in a world where someday they’d kill the demon and all retire from the life and be normal and be a family again, because that’s what john said and dean took his father’s word as gospel. sam knew better.

so i think what sam did was just disengage. partially because he felt he couldn’t afford to nurse that kind of anger and not become either his father or lucifer, and partially because even though sam loved john, still loves john, he never needed him the way dean did, because sam had dean. so it doesn’t hurt him as much to just “gray rock” it. i think if sam stopped and really dug into it he’d find that he’s still quite angry (probably more angry on dean’s behalf than his own, at least at first, because in his mind he was able to move past it and dean was not, dean had it worse, HIS OWN trauma isn’t real etc etc), but he doesn’t do that because he doesn’t want to be that angry, and possibly even thinks that if he brought it up dean would jump to john’s defense and it would cause a fight, which the opposite of what a gray rock does.

as for being forced to forgive john because if he didn’t he would also have to condemn dean...i don’t think i buy that at all. sam is fine making dean his exception and he allows dean to get away with a lot of deeply horrible shit he would condemn other people for. partially because he’s dean and sam loves him, but in my ~personal reading~ of sam, this is also because once sam became an adult the weight of everything dean did and had to give up to raise him really sank in, and part of him felt guilty (even though sam arguably didn’t have a childhood either). you know how kids take care of their parents in old age to repay them for raising them? that’s sort of how sam is with dean in later seasons - he implies multiple times that he would leave the hunting life forever and not look back if it weren’t for dean.

and as a side note - sorry, this is only tangentially related - dean implies several times in later seasons that the job is where he finds his sense of accomplishment and self-esteem and meaning - he believes the world is a better place because of what he and sam do, and even though he doesn’t always like DOING the job, he likes the outcome. it’s weird because this is as close as we see dean get to even HAVING self esteem. sam, emotionally intelligent, would have picked up on that - and since he and dean have both tried to leave the life multiple times and have always come to regret it, i also think part of sam believes you CAN’T escape - certainly SAM could never escape so long as dean was still in it, because whether he meant to or not dean would always pull him back in. and part of dean doesn’t really want to escape because he’s made his peace with it. so sam stays, and i think even if he can’t find the same meaning in the job that dean does, he finds a lot of meaning in being there for dean. (this, like gray rocking, is also consistent with the seasons where sam’s sole character trait is caring about dean lol. but i’m happy enough to read it in a kinder and less bitter/resentful way.)

it IS worth noting i think that the most forgiving sam ever was about john was in the adam episode, where he said he understood why he was the way he was and why he did what he did, and when dean said they were alike sam decided to take it as a compliment. sam in season 4 is arguably at one of his lowest points - struggling with addiction, consumed by anger and hatred and the need for revenge. he WAS like john in many ways, and i think he justified what john was doing because it also justified what HE was doing. but what he was doing led to breaking lucifer out of hell and the apocalypse that followed, which is why i like to think sam worked so hard to reign in his anger afterward - both to avoid his fate and avoid becoming his father.

in short: i don’t think sam has actually forgiven john so much as disengaged from him and moved past it. because if he DID engage with it, it’d bring up a whole lot of stuff he didn’t feel prepared to deal with. one of the risks of gray rocking things is doing it to the point that you lose touch with your own wants and needs and personality, so i think by late seasons sam’s repression, which is much more sneaky and quiet than dean’s, has settled in to the point where he’s like “yeah whatever” about dad out of sheer self preservation - because otherwise, he’d end up going crazy about it like dean does. i think it’d do him a hell of a lot of good to be able to get to shout at john and finally say his piece/ he’s really afraid of his own anger, but i think it’d be healthy for him to get back in touch with some of it.

[spn masterpost]

#liz answers asks #bimbonaparte #sam winchester #john winchester #liz makes stuff #liz's spn stuff #liz's meta #whew this was a long one sorry.#i am so glad you have the same icon on tumblr and ao3 i was replying TO YOUR COMMENT when i got this ask <3 #fun cool coincidences!!!!!#anyway i didn't want to mention my fic but like this is why i had him yell in my fic. it's good for him #for himself and for dean he deserves to feel angry

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chalkrevelations · 3 years ago

Text

Word of Honor Ep 6, and let’s talk a little about what’s canon, and what’s not, and about the particular slip-slidiness of the line between them on this show.

But first, due diligence: If you are NEW or JUST VISITING, this is a re-watch, so you’re going to find SPOILERS not just for this ep, but for the entire show. Scroll away and come back later if you haven’t seen all 36.5 eps and want to watch unspoiled. Also, heads-up, this got super long, because I had to talk about that stuff up there and then still talk about the ep. Hashtag long post (remorseful).

So, “canon,” as applied to fannish source material (in Western fandom, at least) traditionally has been considered the official stuff – the episode, the book, the comic, the movie – based on the religious definition of “canon,” the collection of texts accepted as genuine and official within a religion. The word “fanon” – widely accepted fannish ideas – plays on this, as does the fandom concept of “word of God,” or things the Creators have said about the text but outside of it. Is it in the show as it aired or the book as it was printed? Canon. Is it not in the show as it aired or the book as it was printed? Not canon. (Apocrypha? Maybe. Anyway.) Generally, I think we’d say that things like material in the first draft of a script that doesn’t make it through revisions and onto the screen isn’t canon, even if you can get your hands on a copy of the first draft. The final product that airs is what’s canon. BUT this gets super slippery in something like WoH, in a way that’s exemplified in this episode. This ep is one of the places where people who can lip-read Chinese have spotted some significant dialogue changes between what the actors say on-screen and what lines have been dubbed in. (Everybody’s dubbed in cdramas, it’s just the thing that happens. You have your on-screen actors, and you have your voice actors. The ONLY person in The Untamed who did his own voice dubbing, for instance, was Ji Li, who played Nie Huaisang. All the other characters had voice actors dubbed in. In fact, the voice actor for Jiang Cheng in The Untamed is the voice actor for Wen Kexing in WoH.) One of the descriptions of WoH that I’ve heard is that this show was filmed as a bl and dubbed as a bromance. The thing is, nobody tried very hard to hide the shift. There are plenty of places that you can clearly see the actor’s mouths don’t match the dubbing, and they’re not artfully shot or edited to hide this. They’re fully on-screen, mouthing words that don’t match, right out in the open, almost like they want to you to pick up on it. Almost like it’s canon, because it’s right there on-screen, aired in the episode. In my first-watch reactions to Eps 36 and 37, I talked a lot about how the dubbing puts a layer of de-queered no-homo over what the on-screen actors are saying in these places, but if you can see what they’re actually saying and understand it, does that make it canon? What does it mean, both textually and meta-textually, if you can’t believe what you’re hearing – what you’re being told – because it contradicts what you’re seeing? How does that affect what we’re told about Our Protagonists and its “truth,” particularly in the final scenes? How much is the show deliberately working against censorship in this way? How much is it teaching us to look deeper than what we’re hearing on the surface?

Several people have talked about what’s actually being said by the on-screen actors in places where this happens, and I’m going to direct you to AvenueX on Youtube if you want a complete overview, because she’s reliable and has a good compilation that’s easy to find. She has a couple of videos called “Lip Reading for Sugar,” and the March 9, 2021, installment includes the Ep 6 incidences, the most significant of which are: At 3:05 in the ep, when WKX throws himself on Zhou Zishu’s back during the zombie Drug Men attack, calls him “mom,” asks ZZS to carry him, and tells “mom” that “your shoulder blades are the most beautiful.” Only no, Gong Jun didn’t say this, if you watch his mouth compared to the sound of the words. Instead of “niang” (mom), he says “Zhou Zishu.” Twice. “Zhou Zishu, carry me.” “Zhou Zishu, your shoulder blades are the most beautiful.” This is not only important because it emphasizes he’s gay for Zhou Zishu’s shoulder blades, but also because he’s fucking baked on Drunk Like A Dream incense when it happens, and later, ZZS will reveal that Drunk Like a Dream makes you see what you most desire, and he’ll confront WKX about how he “kept calling” someone’s name while he was under the influence of it. This makes no sense with the dubbing we get, because with “mom” dubbed over ZZS’s name here, WKX only calls Zhou Zishu’s real name once while he’s under the influence, at the end of ep 5. That is not kept calling. ANYWAY, once WKX clears his head and flies them away from the Drug Men, back to the a lakeside, there’s another disjunct at 5:05, when the dubbing has WKX tell ZZS not to play hero, that he doesn’t lose face if WKX helps him, and ZZS responds with something about your grandmother’s bear, which AvenueX tells me is a real Chinese idiom, although not for what. What Gong Jun and Zhang Zhehan appear to actually have said, though, is that WKX tells ZZS that this was just like a hero saving a beauty, with the implication that ZZS is the beauty, the damsel in distress, and ZZS respons that no, it’s like the beauty saving the hero, without a lick of concern that he’s the beauty, the damsel, in this scenario, just that he did all the work killing Drug Men and now this asshole is going to act like he’s the one who did the saving. At 31:24, dubbing has WKX telling ZZS that he’ll give ZZS whatever he wants if ZZS can get him some of the Drunk Like a Dream, but AvenueX tells me that he actually offers his body in exchange, in a way that implies marriage. And at 32:22, when ZZS asks WKX what he saw under the influence of the Drunk Like a Dream, the dubbing gives us some random story about baby WKX throwing a rat on his mother’s bed, while Gong Jun’s mouth seems to be saying something something about being in the bridal chamber with his beloved … so circling back to our first instance at 3:05, WKX using Zhou ZIshu’s name is now super-interesting, eh?

Another slip-slidey point of canon here is that there are two versions of this episode. The original version didn’t have the rabbit-washing scene. That was an extra that was inserted later into a Special Version ep when Youku reached 2 million subscribers. But the Special Version is now available on Youku’s channel (it’s the one I watched for this re-watch), AND it’s the regular version that’s on Netflix. So at 25:28, we now get this adorable little scene where ZZS and WKX are cleaning two rabbits in the lake before cooking them, and WKX splashes ZZS who pretends to be irritated before splashing WKX back and running away up the riverbank, chased by WKX. It’s flirty and playful and ALSO a foreshadowing of the flashback we’re going to see in a later ep, when they play together for an afternoon as children. Wasn’t canon before. Now it is.

Anyway, even with the (bad) dubbing that we get, this is a fantastic WenZhou ep. We open with them still being menaced by the zombies Drug Men, with a lot of swordwork by ZZS before he starts flagging because of his Nails Issue, whereupon WKX instantly sobers up, goes Evil Ghost Valley Master on Imposter Hanged Ghost who’s controlling the Drug Men, kills him with his Fan of Death, then scoops up ZZS and flies him off to a lake, where he attempts to tenderly check ZZS’s pulse and take care of his wounds before ZZS slaps away his hand like an offended maiden. WKX has to give him the qi smackdown in order to hold him still to :coff: pull down his robes and suck out the poison from the Drug Men scratches on the back of his shoulder. :hands: I remember the first time around, watching this with my mouth hanging open, demanding to know the heterosexual explanation for this. (Also, if you’re rummaging on Youtube, the Five Straight Guys Watching Word of Honor for this ep is not to be missed. They’re a little questionable in their reaction to the poison sucking, but before that, they’re a bunch of squeamish babies over using the dagger to further slice open the wounds to get to the poison, and it’s HILARIOUS. They can’t even look at the screen once the dagger comes out, hiding behind their hands. I love them, more and more as the eps go on, but they are WEAK compared to even the newbiest hurt/comfort fangirl.) There’s some more back and forth between WKX and ZZS about revealing their true selves to each other, no you, no YOU. WKX makes it clear that he knows there’s something really wrong with ZZS, and then they fight, set to romantic music, and ZZS ends up falling in the lake. I do the victory arms ( \o/ ) to myself where I’m sitting on the couch and startle one of the cats, because FINALLY we’re going to get rid of that execrable fake facial hair. ZZS fucks with WKX by staying underwater long enough that WKX panics and also dives in, we get some really cheap and awful underwater effects, and ZZS reveals his face! They end up back on the edge of the lake, drying their perfectly dry outer robes, while they sit around the fire together in their perfectly dry inner robes, but I am not going to complain because y’all. I CANNOT with how smug and pleased ZZS is for just a moment about WKX mooning over how pretty he is. Then he remembers to be an ill-tempered gremlin and pokes at WKX with a flaming stick, but I had to rewind four times just to catch that little moment of satisfaction about being admired again – it’s subtle and gorgeous and Zhang Zhehan is going to kill me with his face one of these days. ZZS demands dinner on this date, and fake-coughs pitifully to get WKX to go hunt something down, while he stays and does his delightful little thinky face as he pokes at the Soul Winding Box they got from Imposter Hanged Ghost. Then we get a shot of WKX looking at ZZS before he heads off to catch some rabbits that confirms he now knows he’s really Zhou Zishu, rather than Zhou Xu.

So, we’ll get back to the Ghost and the Box in a minute, but I do want to mention that this whole ep is layered through with mini-references and thematic stuff. Imposter Hanged Ghost rings his little bell to control his Drug Men, and remember that, we’ll see that again. WKX asks if ZZS came from the Healer’s Valley when ZZS offers him an antidote to the Drug Man poison; we learn later that WKX, himself, is the one who came from the Healer’s Valley. When ZZS gets the Soul Winding Box open and finds a piece of the Glazed Armor inside (Danyang’s, taken off of Ao Laizi by Ghost Valley before he was hung at the gate of Sanbai Manor), he gives it to WKX, tells him to throw it away if he doesn’t want it. WKX says he couldn’t possibly, and that he’ll wear it because it’s his first gift from A-Xu. Compare this to the way Xie’er will wear Awful Yifu’s Glazed Armor around his neck. We also see some of the thematic and referential stuff come up in conversations that form a repeated pattern in this ep of ZZS stressing what a bad and dangerous person he is: He scoffs at the idea he’s from Healer’s Valley, and asks if he looks like someone who practices medicine; WKX responds that he looked like a professional killer (true) who was cruel in the abandoned temple (presumably while escaping Mirror Lake) and frightening to a kind-hearted man like WKX who can’t even kill a chicken (particularly amusing given the prep for New Year’s dinner in a later ep, when WKX is the only one who CAN). At the lakeside and again after ZZS hightails it away from Sanbai Manor when they spot Han Ying there (HAN YING, my beloved), WKX asks if ZZS is a fugitive, what he’s hiding from, and says that he’ll protect him – by reason, because would he kill anyone unreasonably (omg, where to even begin? How many guys have you choked out at this point)? When they’re arguing about ZZS revealing his “true” face, ZZS warns that most people who’ve seen his real appearance are dead (probably true). WKX says he’s not afraid of death (not his own, at least, we’ll see that the thing he’s afraid of is ZZS’s death). ZZS warns WKX that he’s not only sharp-tongued, he’s ruthless (true). He tells WKX that he’s murdered many people (true) and set them on fire (not unlikely, frankly) and committed many crimes (true, in a way, although they were state-sanctioned, making them legal, if morally reprehensible). This is the ZZS who put the Nails in himself, who talks to himself about what a truly awful shixiong he is, who tells Prince Jin that he’s only good as a weapon. I like how we see this at the same time that we’re starting to see the side of him that’ll preen when someone thinks he’s pretty - this is a process, and it’s subtle, not as high-drama as WKX’s, but it’s there, nonetheless.

We also formally meet Xie Wang in this ep, artfully posed and playing his pipa among the bodies – old and new – of Zhao Coffin Home. He and Changing Ghost have a bit of a slapfight over whose fault it is that Imposter Hanged Ghost, who was actually Long-Tongued Ghost, got killed and got his (Danyang’s) Glazed Armor took by WKX, when Changing Ghost stole it from Ao Laizi, put it in the Soul Winding Box and gave it to Long-Tongued Ghost specifically to deliver it to Xie Wang. Xie Wang is super cool through all of this, and I think we get a sense of how deadly he is by the way Changing Ghost backs down. So, here’s what’s falling together: Some iteration of Ghost Valley is working with Xie Wang and the Scorpion Sect, giving the Scorpions access to the Soul Winding Threads, which we saw used at the Mirror Lake massacre and in the woods outside of Sanbai Manor to kill Yu Tianjie in the last ep. Via Xie Wang, Ghost Vally has access to use of the Drug Men, which we’ve seen at the Zhao Coffin Home (so far), although we haven’t yet been told (I think) how Xie Wang got access to the potions to create Drug Men (we also know ZZS read about Drug Men in a book somewhere, and got enough info to engineer an antidote to them). Xie Wang and the Scorpions have access to Drunk Like a Dream incense, which had to come from Prince Jin’s court, having been engineered by ZZS based on a much stronger formulation. Han Ying, from Tian Chuang in Prince Jin’s court, has been seen at Sanbai Manor, Zhao Jing’s place.

Meanwhile Chengling is doing poorly, with no appetite and getting bellowed at some more by Shen Shen, who would be the worst if only I didn’t know everything I know, which makes me cringe when Zhao Jing refers to Chengling as “my son, now.” NO. RUN, Goldbean. For some more thematic and referential stuff in this ep, WKX calls Chengling a “lonely chick with no one to rely on” and tsks over the fact that he’s “surrounded by hounds smarter than foxes” now that he’s under the care of the Five Lakes Alliance. This is clearly to manipulate ZZS into thinking Chengling is better off with ZZS, but it also sounds like an awfully apt description of Zhen Yan in Ghost Valley. I’m just sayin’.

#zhou zishou #wen kexing #xie wang #zhang chengling #zhao jing #word of honor #word of honor episode reax

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something-very-special · 4 years ago

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Impressions

I know I’m way behind on progression through Replicant (insofar as anybody can be ‘way behind’ in the sense of playing a video game for personal entertainment), buuuut I figured I’d share a few thoughts.

Presently I’m doing sidequest mop-up post-Barren Temple, for reference:

So just to get this overall out of the way, I am legitimately fascinated by the differences between NIER and Replicant. This is something I picked up on when I played RepliCant to grab footage for my LP, but given my extremely limited understanding of Japanese all I could get was the tone between characters and to my unpracticed ear they sounded pretty different. I always assumed that Weiss was somehow even more condescending to Brother and hah hah, wow. Even kind of expecting the dialogue and delivery differences I was not prepared for some of the dialogue and delivery differences. Weiss just straight-up insulting BroNier on the regular, not even doing sarcastic eye-rolls like he does with Papa. I don’t remember the exact line that set me off but somewhere in the Barren Temple I was just laughing my ass off at how much of a dick Weiss is.

Thought the ‘miracles’ conversation in the Junk Heap was interesting, too. I remember Papa Nier telling Weiss to stuff it because ‘those kids need a miracle’ and Weiss kind of backs down-- obviously doesn’t believe it, but he knows better than to push. And Brother tries but Weiss is just not having this optimism bullshit. Little things, but the tenor of the relationship is definitely different.

One of the more interesting aspects early on is the way the Lunar Tear is treated. Obviously I don’t know if this was part of the original game or a script adjustment, but Brother talking about the Tear as a source of money as opposed to Father saying it can grant wishes was interesting. Maybe it was to justify that Kaine just has a whole necklace of the damn things and therefore it’s rare but not literally magic, but it always sounded like it was just meant to be taken as a myth to me anyway. Then again, it’s established in the Grimoire that Brother has a fixation specifically on making money so he can support himself and Yonah (versus Papa Nier, who has obviously already established himself as an adult rather than a kid still figuring things out and hoping that enough money will solve all their problems).

Where the dialogue doesn’t diverge is interesting, too. Mostly I’m talking about the scene after defeating Hook. I always found Papa Nier exclaiming “You’re going to live, Kaine!” and “Yes, we’re friends now!” to be obvious holdovers from a younger protagonist just goddamn hilarious when Papa Nier is saying them. They’re still really funny with Brother Nier but just remembering Papa Nier doing the exact same delivery in his deep, manly voice just re-elevated the whole scene into comedy gold.

All of that is really why I was interested in getting the game so already my money is well spent. But there’s some other stuff:

They butchered the OST! ...or so people keep telling me on Youtube. I admit I do think the re-orchestrations is largely inferior to the original (although there are some that are at least as good in a different way, and whatever they did to The Lost Forest -- which was one of my least favorite tracks in the original -- I really enjoy) but I wouldn’t call it a butchering and I highly suspect that if I didn’t have the eleven years of the original OST and its association within the game itself I wouldn’t bat an eye, it still all sounds great.

Also, a weird observation, but I found that the soundtrack sounds much better coming out of the TV speakers than through headphones. I’m not sure if somehow it was optimized for play through external speakers, or maybe just not hearing the added orchestration right up against my eardrums, but when I went to the Lost Shrine with headphones on I was admittedly disappointed, but going to it again and listening through the TV it worked significantly better.

(I’m not sure if this is necessarily a factor, but the booklet in the White Snow edition mentions that the new soundtrack was all studio mixed rather than having the individual tracks layered. While I don’t think that would have an impact on music quality it almost definitely makes a difference in the way it’s produced.)

I miss chest-thrusting to double jump Movement overall feels much more refined and polished. It’s not as slick as Automata, but it definitely feels like a natural evolution of the original game, and as an apologist for NIER’s combat I can appreciate that. A little more responsive, I appreciate being able to move while casting magic, and it still has a bit of a crunch behind weapon impact (although I wish it felt a bit heavier).

But goodness I miss the stupid animation for double-jumping. I mean sure, an aerial somersault is a classic indication of a double jump, but I just loved that Nier would chest-thrust so hard he would break the laws of physics and ascend higher.

It also feels a bit like the aerial dodge was nerfed for movement purposes? I really don’t feel as much horizontal thrust to get a running start after diving off the Library balcony.

Fully voiced? Fully voiced?! I knew this was happening but I totally forgot until the NPC villagers started talking to me! Some of the incidental deliveries are a bit awkward, but as somebody whose glasses prescription is a decade out of date I appreciate this immensely.

The item guy in Seafront just being from the goddamn Bronx is a thing of beauty.

BroNier does fit into the Village better. One of the little details I love in the game is that each bit of civilization has its own style. The maps aren’t large enough to really convey how long travel takes, but the different styles between the Village and Seafront just kind of helped to ‘place’ the characters in a really neat, subtle way (Emil’s sash identifies him as ‘belonging to’ Seafront, which is actually pertinent when you get that sidequest where you find the letter from his science-mom in town! I assume she always wore a kicky sash when she went to work in the underground child torture bunker.)

Facade obviously also has their own style, but it’s... hard not to appreciate.

Papa Nier’s dress doesn’t really ‘place’ him anywhere, which doesn’t feel weird for the main character, and I feel like it’s implied that he isn’t really from the Village in a meaningful way anyway and kind of drifted in at some point after Yonah had been born. But younger Brother Nier is actually wearing the local fashion and it’s a neat little detail that I didn’t appreciate back when I played PS3 RepliCant. (Probably because I didn’t bother talking to any NPCs what with not being able to read the dialogue, so I never really had him standing next to anybody for long enough to process.) Older Brother Nier takes on a very different outfit that winds up displacing him from the rest of the Village (and any other towns), which is a pretty nice visual metaphor, too.

I have a confession to make. I still enjoy fishing in this game.

Yeah I said it. I’ll say it again too-- I like the fishing minigame. I happily blitzed through the Fisherman’s available Gambits, and then just caught five sharks while I was hanging out, and then also caught the sandfish ahead of time, and also wound up with a half-ton giant catfish (??!?) trying to remember where the black bass are located.

Cart me away.

Related but I laughed far too hard when the fisherman says “the WESTERN beach”. I wonder why they changed that line. I just can’t imagine.

And those seals. Always a delight to go to early Seafront and just plant yourself between a couple of seals. Watch the ocean. Listen to the music and the waves. Watch the seals lazily roll around and make cute seal barks.

The most depressing thing about the timeskip is losing those seals.

My garden--! The gardening timeskip exploit was fixed due to a difference in PS4 architecture. :/ I know there’s still an exploit involving time zones but I didn’t go in knowing that and I was horrified when I adjusted the system clock only to find my crops weren’t growing. Is Legendary Gardener still a trophy? Fffffuuuuu

My BARREN TEMPLE. The Barren Temple is, to me, a legitimately funny dungeon, between Sechs getting himself abducted, Kaine getting herself abducted and Nier and Weiss just sighing in resignation, and the whole concept of the rules-based challenges. And the adjustment they made to the Prince’s dialogue before you meet him is so good-- the original felt a little disjointed and felt like it ended with the Prince being confused. It was still funny, but here Weiss just gives zero fucks about insulting the Prince (and presumably knows that’s exactly who he’s talking to) and it’s just great.

And I say all of that because I just died laughing when I got to the infamous Racing Wolf room and saw they outlawed evasion.

Evasion works differently in this game anyway so you wouldn’t have really been able to do the same trick before (dodge roll; in the original release you would dodge roll forward by tapping the button, but a default evasion has you backstep. Of course you could arrange BroNier to face away from the trap and then evade, but it would be significantly dicier, and I feel like the pattern on the shots was awkward enough that you wouldn’t have an opening in the second row (and probably would’ve have dodged your ass right into the bullets anyway). But just that they acknowledged the trick and then flipped you off with it was amazing. Aggravating? My amusement far outweighed my frustration since the Defend trick was still solid.

It also felt like more rooms outlawed jumping? That I can’t corroborate (I was really focusing on whether they did something to Racing Wolf, which is of course the most traumatic of the rooms) but I feel like it wasn’t as easy to cheese some of those rooms as it had been previously.

Dark Blast is amazing. Cheesed the shit out of the actual ‘Evasive Mouse’ room, though. I remember having some difficulties when the miniboss shows up since you can’t dodge out of the way of his lava pillar attack, but I just circle-strafed with Dark Blast and he died comically quickly.

This is actually more relevant to the magic as a whole, but in the time since I first played NIER (so... probably the time I fifth played NIER) I learned more about the little intracacies of the magic system. Like, really little intricacies, like how you can use magic with just a button tap and it actually has different effects... like Dark Blast dealing significantly more damage. It’s not as easy as just holding down the button and getting the multi-shot off the charge, but for a single enemy like that just rapid-fire tapping the button chews through the lifebar.

This tap strategy is really appreciated for Dark Hand (forward thrust punch) and Dark Lance (which is even better thanks to the game’s lock-assist-- a much appreciated quality-of-life adjustment), and I look forward to getting Dark Execution because of its fast activation feature (spreading the lances in a forward cone in front of you, extremely useful for crowd control when you can’t afford to wait for Execution to charge up).

Fragile Delivery still sucks. I don’t know why I had such a terrible time with the first Fragile Delivery but I broke that... Ming vase or whatever you’re delivering half a dozen times. Send that guy a steel rug instead, Guard #3, he is not worth whatever piece of art you had me destroy six times.

And the game still holds up. This is probably a ‘needless to say’ thing but yeah, this is still a great game. I always have a little bit of apprehension going back to something I loved just in case there’s a rose-colored effect going on. Not that I really expected that to happen with this game (I’ve played NIER recently enough that I didn’t think nostalgia would blind me) but, you know, always a possibility.

(That and that the remaster would be... perhaps of dubious quality. It happens.)

Nope! Still engaging. Still charming. I’m always impressed to go back to this game with all the knowledge of its inevitable misery and remember that it’s also just plain funny. NIER is one of those games that’s just like I remember it but better every time I go back to it.

I’m so glad that Automata did well enough to spur greater interest in this game. It really didn’t get the chance it deserved back in 2010 and now it’s topping some of the sales charts. That’s fantastic.

Just... fantastic.

#NIER #NieR Replicant #Musings #Now I just need Threads of Fate remastered and my life is complete #SE don't do that I know you'll ruin it

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catnaples · 4 years ago

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TOXIC CRUSH, PART 2

This is not my best story. I’ve been working hard on it, but after a certain point I just get bored and frustrated, It’s why I don’t normally do 2 part stories. I hope you like though! Give me some feedback so I can improve!

TW: Spitting, slapping, attempted non-con, mentions of bullying, implied murder, implied kidnapping

PT 1

Moving to Seijoh for the first week was hard. Half of the students took it upon themselves to giggle at you for your thick thighs or your soft belly, while the other half was welcoming but kept their distance. You had come from Karasuno after all, and everyone knew how much the volleyball team hated the crows.

You stayed away from the gym all week, fighting your urge to ask to be their manager. Instead, you chose to work on forming friendships with your classmates and good impressions with your teachers.

You remembered Seijoh’s team very clearly from the last time you had seen them, which was after Karasuno’s loss to them. You had felt them watching you the entire time as you moved from teammate to teammate, giving out comforting hugs and cold bottles of water. Their eyes bore into you everywhere you went in the gym, and it made you incredibly self-conscious.

Oikawa seemed like the kind of guy to bully someone for appearance only, and the last thing you wanted was to get on his bad side...well, anymore than you probably already were since you came from Karasuno. You could take a lot of things, but bullying you for your body type always hits home the hardest.

By the time summer came around, Seijoh had become more welcoming to you. You had a new group of friends, and you hadn’t really encountered the volleyball team. A Few words of encouragement from your best friend and a can of caffeine boosted your courage, and the day before vacation you finally faced your fears and entered Seijoh’s gym.

At first, no one seemed to notice you. You crept your way to the coach, and gave him a quick bow. After a brief introduction, you quietly asked about possibly managing for the team. Of course he didn’t pay attention to you. He barely recognized you from their rival school. He responded with a flick of the wrist. “Oikawa is the captain, you can ask him.”

As your courage drained from your body, he called Oikawa over, catching the attention of the third years who all stared at your shaking form. “This young lady wants to speak to you.” He said plainly before turning his attention back to the team.

Oikawa came sauntering over, the flirtatious grin on his lips melting off as he began to recognize who you were. “Well well, if it isn’t Karasuno’s prized manager...what are you doing here in my school’s uniform?” He sneered, irritation flashing in his eyes.

It took you a moment to find your voice as you fidgeted with the hem of your untucked shirt. “W-well...I’m no longer a part of Karasuno’s volleyball team. I left a little bit ago. I...I was just wondering if...maybe you needed a manager?” You asked, staring at him with hopeful eyes. “I’ve got the experience.” You tried to joke.

He stared at you with his burning brown eyes, and you looked away, the stare too intense. “And why did you leave?” He asked, hooking his finger under your chin so you would look at him again.

You could still feel the other third years eyes on you as they continued to practice, and your face burned with shame. He was going to say no, no matter what you said to convince him. You were sure of it. You simply came here to embarrass yourself.

You concentrated on the wall behind him as you spoke, willing yourself not to cry. “One of the team members asked me out, and I said no to maintain our friendship. I guess it hurt him a lot, because by the next week the entire school turned on me.” You said, your voice quiet.

Oikawa released your chin and stared down at you, a different look now placed on his face. “They...bullied you out? Because you turned someone down?” He asked, his voice low. You nodded, staring down at his shoes.

There was a long pause, and then he chuckled. “Fine then, you can manage our team. I’d like to see the looks on Karasuno’s faces when they see their cute little manager running around tending to us instead.” He smirked, before bending over to look you in the eyes.

“We practice during the summer too. Come to the gym tomorrow morning at eight. We’ll provide a manager's uniform for you.” He said, before cuffing you lightly on the shoulder. You stared, almost numb with shock, as he ran back to his waiting teammates.

Iwaizumi was looking from you to Oikawa and back, trying to figure out what the hell just happened. You stiffly walked from the gym, unsure whether or not you even wanted to manage anymore.

You didn’t bother texting your friend about it, instead choosing to block the thought of the entire situation out with music and other mundane activities. The next morning, you trudged back to the gym, making sure to arrive five minutes early to try and maintain a good impression.

You were in the gym for maybe two seconds before Matsukawa and Hanamaki were towering over you, lazy grins plastered on their faces. “Well, Oikawa was telling the truth. He caught a little mouse from Karasuno.” Hanamaki said, examining your face.

You felt your cheeks heat up at the intense stare, and looked away. “Uh, yes...my name is Y/N, I’ll be managing the team now.” You said quietly. “Aw, she’s shy too. Cute.” Matsukawa laughed lazily.

“Alright, leave her alone. It’s time to warm up.” You heard a gruff voice say. Hanamaki and Matsukawa parted to reveal Iwaizumi standing behind them, his arms crossed. The tall boys in front of you shrugged and moved away, beginning a conversation on something you couldn’t quite make out.

Iwaizumi handed you a square package. “This is your uniform. Go into the girls locker room and change, then meet us back here. Oikawa is going to go through everything he expects you to do for the team.” He said, before turning and beginning to move away.

You breathed a sigh of relief at the absence of his intense stare, before he turned again. “Oh, and by the way. We won’t treat you the way Karasuno did. With us...you’ll be fine.” He mumbled. Before you could respond, he was striding away, yelling commands out at the rest of the team.

Stunned, you slowly made your way back to the locker rooms to change. Although the entire situation was turning you into a nervous wreck, and you still weren’t sure if you trusted the team, that simple comment made you feel a little warm inside.

Karasuno’s treatment of you was cruel, especially from the volleyball team. They constantly painted Seijoh out as the villains, as if they were the main protagonists. Yet here you were, joining their volleyball team with their ace himself telling you not to feel scared.

You hurried to change into the white and blue tracksuit, internally admiring how well it fit you. Part of being a bigger girl was that not everything fit you just right. However, in this you felt semi-confident.

After changing you made your way back to the gym, praying for an easy day. You entered just in time to watch Oikawa set a ball to Iwaizumi, who spiked it, narrowly missing a first year's face. You couldn’t remember the name, but he looked very familiar.

You stood in the corner for a solid ten minutes, watching the sheer talent of the team in amazement. Their teamwork, along with the drive to win no matter what, was very apparent in the way they played. No wonder they beat Karasuno.

As they all took a quick breather, Oikawa’s brown eyes landed on you. You subconsciously shrank back as he began to make his way towards you. Then Iwaizumi’s words flashed in your head, filling you with a little bit of comfort.

Oikawa’s attitude had seemed to change completely as he approached you, the flirtatious smile back on his face. “Well, you really did decide to show up.” He said, grabbing his water bottle from the bench next to you. “Now, what exactly did you take care of while you were at Karasuno.” He asked.

He was closer than he needed to be, his tall frame towering over you. You fought the blush that rose to your cheeks as you tried to focus. You began to list everything that you had taken care of, from washing uniforms to cleaning the gym and locking up when the others were too lazy to do so.

Oikawa’s stare never left your face as you spoke. When you finished with your explanation, he nodded thoughtfully. “Right, so to start with, you won't have to wash our sweaty jerseys. Unlike Karasuno, we actually do know how to do our own laundry. We still expect you to help us clean up, but you’ll never be left alone in the gym to do it all by yourself. We still want you taking notes and what not.” He explained.

The more he spoke, the more comfortable you felt around him. You could tell in his mannerisms, excluding how unnecessarily close he was to you, that he was trying to help you feel more comfortable.

Throughout the rest of the summer you continued to get close to your new team. The protective attitude you developed for Karasuno’s first years transferred to Seijoh. Instead of Karasuno’s third years keeping an eye on you, you found Oikawa, Iwaizumi, Matsukawa and Hanamaki all around you at almost all points of the day.

You began to form a friendship with Yahaba, and a mutual understanding of boundaries with Kyotani. There were more touches to the small of your back, fingers lingering for a second longer than usual. There was more texting and possessive words being used.

Whenever someone from another sport came to practice at the school, they were pulling you away from whatever conversation you were having with them. All of these signs, you ignored. You were just grateful to the team for not bullying you for everything.

Besides, what was wrong with four attractive third years being so protective over you? You, who had always felt insecure in her body, who felt inferior to people like them? You were relishing in every drop of attention they were giving you, just as much as they loved doting on you.

By the time the spring preliminaries rolled around, you felt completely confident beside your new team. Walking into the gym standing in between Oikawa and Iwaizumi, you felt powerful. The way people parted for your new school when they wouldn’t do the same for Karasuno made you feel like a celebrity. And for once, you got to sit on the benches right in front of the court instead of up in the stands, like you used to have to do with Yachi. You were full of excitement...until Karasuno arrived.

All confidence drained from you when you saw the familiar black uniforms appear through the door. Matsukawa noticed the sudden rigidness of your body at the sight of your former team, and he came to stand beside you, his arm wrapped around your shoulder lazily. “They aren’t gonna say shit. We’re gonna kick their asses today.” He said, smiling lightly.

You allowed yourself a few seconds of comfort before pulling away and nodding. “Right. You got this!” You smiled back, throwing fists lightly up. “Beat them so that you can defeat Shiratorizawa next.”

Matsukawa’s grin grew, and he cuffed you lightly on the shoulder. Then he turned to Hanamaki, who gave you a thumbs up. “Alright, warm up guys.” Oikawa called, gesturing for the others to start moving. He shot you a quick wink and a smile before turning and staring Kageyama down.

You had caught Kageyama’s attention, and the look of rage on his face as he realized exactly where you had run off to finally sunk in. One by one, the other members saw you, their reactions varying.

Hinata’s was the most terrifying. Even from a distance you could see how deranged his eyes looked. His body was squared and shaking, and for the first time ever you actually felt fearful of him. You found yourself inching towards Iwaizumi for comfort.

He caught on fast and moved his body slightly in front of you, before Hanamaki called out, “You guys should probably start doing your warm-ups instead of looking at our cute manager.”

Hinata looked like he wanted to charge, but Daichi stood in front with his hand blocking him. You had never seen so much contempt in his eyes before. The way he was looking at you made you want to crawl into a hole and hide until he was long gone. You were thankful that you had Seijoh backing you up.

Karasuno gathered around Hinata, for what you assumed was a pep talk about ignoring the big evil Y/N, while Oikawa came up on the other side of Iwaizumi and looked down at you. “So, you never told us who it was that got you bullied out of Karasuno. By the looks of it, I’m assuming it was that little tangerine?” He asked, his eyes burning.

You felt yourself shrink back. “Y-yeah.” You stuttered out. “That’s good, you had us thinking he was big and mighty. He’ll be easy.” He grinned, before rubbing your arm. The gentleness of his hands greatly contrasted with the fierceness of his face. “Go to the bench with the coach. We’re about to start.”

You immediately nodded and briskly walked over to the sidelines, sitting down nervously as the referee took his place. Both teams shook hands and returned to their positions, the room falling deathly silent. Then, the game began. Watching them play against a different team instead of amongst themselves was intense, and you found yourself unable to look away for even a second.

Karasuno performed their quick attack a few times, managing to get a couple of points from Seijoh, but Seijoh returned with a couple of nasty jump serves and intense spikes. You were in awe at how both teams managed to play so well. But you knew Karasuno was in the dark about one thing; all of the moves and plans Hinata had told you about, you told Seijoh.

Karasuno had a few unknown tricks up their sleeves, but the main moves that Hinata and Kageyama tried to pull off were thwarted by Oikawa and the others. In the end, Karasuno lost by one set, and one point.

Karasuno was dramatic as ever by throwing themselves down on the ground, or by holding each other with tears in their eyes. Meanwhile, your team was jumping around the gym, whooping and hugging each other. Then, they were coming for you. They were picking you up and spinning you around, planting giant kisses on your plump cheeks as you laughed and congratulated them.

As they continued to celebrate, you excused yourself to grab fresh water for their bottles. You slipped from the gym, a giant smile stuck to your lips. The look of pure joy on their faces filled you with an insane amount of happiness. You knew how hard they worked, and you knew they deserved a reward. It was a good thing you were just recently paid, you wanted to buy them dinner tonight before going home.

Lost in your thoughts, you didn’t notice the orange haired boy creeping up behind you until it was too late. Even though Hinata was small, he was strong. Terror coursed through your veins as he shoved you to the ground and pinned your wrists about your head. Up close you could truly see just how deranged he looked.

His pupils were dilated, eyes wide, there was a sickening smile on his face that just screamed “ill-intent”. “H-Hinata, what-” You tried to ask. He cut you off by spitting on you. “Stupid. You’re so stupid! I tried to give you my love and what do you do?” He growled, his face an inch or so away from yours. “You run to the one team that we’re rivals with, and you let them win.” He spat.

He raised his hand and slapped you across the face, bringing a fresh wave of tears to your eyes. Panicked, you couldn’t find your voice to scream. “Let me guess, you told them everything that I had told you in secrecy.” He asked, gathering both of your wrists into one hand.

Frozen with shock, you didn’t bother struggling. Hinata had never been this aggressive before. He had never laid his hands on you in an aggressive manner. You could barely bring yourself to breathe properly with his face so close to yours.

Then, his free hand unzipped your jacket. “H-hinata, stop it!” You gasped. You wanted to scream, but a part of you still didn’t want Hinata to be hurt. You still cared for him, even though he was scaring you. Even though he hurt you.

“Shut up!” He spat, before roughly shoving his hand up your shirt. Finally your instincts kicked in, and you began to violently struggle. In the next second, he was ripped off of you and you were being pulled up. Oikawa was holding you, his thumb wiping away Hinata’s spit. He examined the red spot on your cheek from where you were struck, while Iwaizumi held Hinata against the wall by the jacket collar.

You tried to tune him out while he threatened Hinata with something worse than death, instead choosing to focus on Oikawa’s soothing voice. You let him push your head against his chest as he hummed to you. “It’s alright Y/n. Nothing bad is gonna happen to you when you’re with us.” He cooed.

You almost completely relaxed, but then he said something that truly alarmed you. “Hinata won't be here much longer, so you can focus on us from now on. He’ll never hurt you again.”

You ripped your head away and looked to where Iwaizumi and Hinata were a few seconds ago, but they were gone. Panic surged through your veins again, but Oikawa pushed you against the wall. He cupped your face in his hands, his eyes dark.

“We’d do just about anything for you, Y/N. Keep that in mind.” He whispered, before planting a soft kiss on your lips. “Now be a good girl, and keep this entire thing a secret for us, alright? We know you like your freedom but...we’ll store you away safely if we have to. Try not to worry about anything, it’ll make everything easier, yeah?” He smiled.

As you stared into his eyes, you could hear a faint scream from what seemed like outside. You shut your eyes, tears dripping down your cheeks as you realized what you had just gotten yourself into.

You thought back to all of the power they now had over you, and how they managed to obtain it by gaining your trust. They had your address, a strong relationship with your parents, access to your phone...you realized that you could never even really leave your house without them being there, waiting. You felt horrified. You would just have to find another way out...before you were locked away. Or worse.

#seijoh #seijoh fic #haikyuu #haikyuu fic #yandere #yandere haikyuu #yandere seijoh #yandere oikawa #yandere iwaizumi #yandere matsukawa #yandere hanamaki

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