#but it feels inherently sinful
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
cacaocheri · 2 years ago
Photo
Tumblr media
i feel like i’ve reached a new level of degeneracy every time i’m like “oh boy time to think about The Scenarios” and it’s just me holding hands with a fictional guy
7K notes · View notes
sammygender · 7 months ago
Text
i’ve never been as angry on behalf of a character as i am for sam winchester
#currently thinking about season four and five. absolutely fuckibg mental#the world literally reshapes itself around him to prove him wrong#its all framed as God. Sam was so stupid and selfish and reckless for drinking demon blood. He just liked the power of it and he chose a#DEMON over DEAN.#but. that’s not the story they tell in s4.#like even aside from every single other complexity. Sam is literally right. he has ZERO WAY of knowing that killing lilith is the final seal#AND DEAN DOESNT KNOW TJAT EITHER. like sam is literally right he can kill lilith and he does kill lilith. dean wants lilith dead just as#much. sam’s cardinal sin is disobeying dean and then the world flips around on him and plot twist sam and dean were both wrong all along and#killing lilith is what will bring back lucifer :)#but. it’s not framed like that either. it’s framed like SAM BROUGHT BACK LUCIFER BY KILLING LILITH WHILE HIGH ON DEMON BLOOD#dean you wanted to kill lilith too?????????#but. doesn’t matter dean despite being mostly motivated by jealous anger is retroactively proven to be Right#and sam is retroactively proven to be Wrong. he is bad#i just. jesus. sam’s not evil ever. he’s hardly even that fucking morally grey#and he still thinks there’s something wrong with him that he’s a freak that he’s inherently evil and needs to be purified#why?? cause of something fucked up that happened to him when he was a baby#and because he’s disobeyed his father and his brother and been angry at awful things that have happened to him#makes me feel fucking insane actually#no wonder narrative frames sam as evil no wonder he’s inherently marked as Bad by the forces in supernatural like even on a meta level#in supernatural gods just another shitty father. embodiment of the familial patriarch. and from sam’s very first moment on the show he’s in#opposition to that he’s ran away from john and he argues with dean. therefore he is evil#i don’t think my words r really making sense right now but. fucking hell#and sam is so swamped in guilt all of season five and he just fucking accepts that everything bad is his fault#and he gets tortured in the cage to save the fucking world and it’s STILL not enough. not to appease his own guilt and not to appease deans#anger at him. dean is still throwing his perceived violations back at him in like season nine!!#and whenever he tries to get out it’s treated as yet another Sin. narrative acts like sam thinking dean was dead and having a life outside#of hunting is The Worst Thing He Ever Did#worst sin sam ever commits in the eyes of the show is disobedience. Absolutely awful actually#spn#sam winchester
139 notes · View notes
uncanny-tranny · 2 years ago
Text
I've been thinking about modesty from a specifically trans lense lately. I was taught that modesty indicates shame, that modesty means you're simultaneously ashamed of being human and having a human body, but also that you are "purer" because you adhere to a hegemonic idea of modesty. Frankly, I just don't agree with this, and it was very much steeped in the idea of specifically christian ideas of modesty.
Before I transitioned, I felt very unprotective of my body because it never felt like mine to begin with. I didn't really care what happened to it, and while I was modest by other people's standards, I certainly didn't feel it. Once I actually started transitioning (and especially on testosterone), I've found that I'm so much more "modest" because I've become protective of my body. There's this stereotype that trans people start "showing themselves off" after transitioning, but I honestly feel the opposite. I'm possessive over my body and exactly how it acts and appears because I actually like my body, and it finally feels like mine. I'm honestly kind of selfish about it, and I think I've earned the right to be.
I made this post because I think this is an interesting topic, and I think it's interesting the ways in which we internalize the influences that be. It's also a reminder that no matter how you feel about things like modesty, you should adhere to what makes the most sense to you and what you are most comfortable with. There are pressures to be modest in this way or that way, but what truly matters is what you decide with your body and yourself.
#trans#transgender#lgbt#lgbtq#ftm#mtf#nonbinary#modesty#like i was looking into swim pants to wear under my swim trunks because i don't want people to be able to see my legs for example#like... they're MY legs not yours. get your own legs dammit 😡 (joking)#and i found i have no shame about myself since being more 'modest' because i do it out of self-admiration#and personally i have no ties to the hegemonic christian sense of modesty and what i was taught living in a *heavily* christian area#that's not to say i have an issue with christians and what they feel is modest but it's more specifically the shame surrounding modesty#the idea that being modest indicates that you're a 'better person' than those who sin (wearing short shorts or swearing)#that's not inherent to the religion from what i understand but i don't agree with it personally#and i do not believe that modesty (or lack thereof) is an indication of ANYTHING about a person#it doesn't tell you anything about their personality or their interests or what they think#it only tells you how they feel most comfortable existing or behaving and even then you often won't know the complexities of that comfort#i have an issue with the ideas about modesty but i use the word because it is easily understood and it is the language i have available#if there's a better term or word for sure let me know but i haven't been made aware of it 👍#ANYWAY. i just think it's interesting#and if you're experiences are different from mine i genuinely respect you for it and platonically love you#and i hope you feel beautiful/gorgeous/handsome/cool and i hope you are comfortable <3
239 notes · View notes
Text
.
27 notes · View notes
goldbeard-ceadeus · 2 months ago
Text
Scar really has such an interesting face. He is so sharp and angular, unforgiving and rigid, but there are these little spots on the character that betray him. The corners of his jaw, the crest of his ears, even his brow is rounded when you look at it as one solid line. His clothes are all baggy and unkempt, just like his hair, betraying his intensity and stoicness. Heavily dislike when the fandom makes him so twinky.
I love Scar so much. Grief just oozes out of that man. He holds everything together to accomplish his goal. He must avenge his brother. His people.
And his moral dilemma is two fold with his brother LITERALLY being part of him. He must destroy. He HAS to destroy.
He must be the angel of death, if it means that he can be at peace with his brother, if only for a moment, or an eternity. He's still the boy his brother left him as, and he can't move past that for a majority of the series.
Scar is just a little boy, who wants his big brother. And he makes me so fucking sad.
FMA is about grief. No I will not take criticism.
4 notes · View notes
dreampearls · 1 year ago
Text
scratches head i do think the way genshin approaches suicide/self sacrifice/martyrdom isnt super well integrated a lot of the time and it more often feels like a mechanic solely employed to make a character more sympathetic/likeable theres so much else you can do with it but (squints) idk i cant pinpoint it specifically but thr way genshin handles it feels tactless + dull + predictable at times
13 notes · View notes
widevibratobitch · 2 months ago
Text
uh ohhhhhh getting all in my head again aha
#ok so even if im right what does that change#everything but ok ok. i can always just kms to atone for my sins <333#(<-normal coping mechanism with Not Being Able To Deal With The Kind Of Person You Are)#no no ok no kmsing but uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh bruh i thunk my brain is like. not built right#like what if thats not actually bpd. what if it IS npd after all and ive just#manipulated her into giving me the More Easily Palatable Diagnosis that allows#me (and some goodwilling others) to view myself as a victim instead of just an unsalvageable fucking monster lol#this is NOT the kind of problems i imagined myself having in my 20s#dunno why im losing my mind about rn in the middle of all this silly tumblr shenanigans but#i think my therapist is wrong. she keeps talking shit about trauma and abuse but this isnot#not right. I HAVENT HAD any truly traumating experiences. like divorced parents are normal it doesn't usually do THAT to people. that is NOT#trauma lol SA ok ig but i dont even like. think about it at all and it wasn't even actua fucking rape so like. MAYBE i could blame some#some of myunhealthy#kinks on it but thats literallyit#like me being the way i am really doesnt stem from me being a victim of abuse or anything#like there's no one to blame except for myself there is just something in me thats inherently lacking and it's driving me crazy#it's like im in a constant battle against myself where im forcing myself to feel bad about it because if i allow myself to let go#it's over. for me and for everyone i've manipulated into caring about me#it's insane it's genuinely fucking crazy i really feel like im losing my mind Sometimes#and like the worst part is i can't be fucking bothered to even try to change lol cause it's uncomfortable and it puts responsibility on me#and icant deal with that cause im a pussy and a serial quitter lmao#thats not 'fear of abandonment'. that's just being. wrongly wired. inside.#ANYWAY. never fucking mind. normal again uwu
1 note · View note
featherymainffins · 8 months ago
Text
I know that a lot of people are helped by someone saying something like "All humans deserve to make mistakes." or idk "You have a right to live, all humans do." but for me it just triggers my knee-jerk cult upbringing response and I go "Oh I'm not a human."
2 notes · View notes
ikilledamanforthisurl · 1 year ago
Text
i wonder why Spearmaster has no strong connections with violence or the violence karma despite being only able to feed when impaling other creatures
#ikildaman shut the fuck up#downpour#ugh spoilers tag rant#ok i did a basic sweep of the wiki and it seems SM was designed to try and minimise animalistic tendencies to further encourage its purpose#as yknow a purposed organism#but i still dont get how in The Great Scheme Of Everything this doesnt reflect on them#if Artificer can get traumatised into a violence machine and thus be Damned by the Way The World/Ascension Works#then why is it different for Spearmaster. because they're not angry when they stab shit? because they have no other way to sustain themself#as if it is mere anger that drives Arti mind you. that is an animal.#the sophontness of the slugcats r debatable and i find it weirdly cruel how Arti gets locked out of ascension#even though we have the option to not genocide a bunch of scavs. even though we are Forced to use violence to progress in game#idk man i will always find issues with the logic of ascension and the 'morality' applied to it honestly this shits nonsense#gourmand doesnt get dissolved out of an ascending ending despite his attachment to TWO worldly 'sins' !!!!!#gourmand got a real wank off of an ascension ending literally just a recolour of survivors ending. shake my fuckig head#yknow i really liked the approach to gourmand i had extremely abysmal expectations for him#but the lazy ascension ending really kind of just ruins it a little bit 2 me..... idk........#at least be consistent in locking slugcats who are anchored to the world via the games five 'sins' out of ascension. please#same with spearmaster i feel like their ascension might be a copout. they have such a nothing story HDSHDSGGHGSHGS#theres lots of good stuff here but in the background. shit we dont get to live thru. SM was a suicide aid at one point. can you believe tha#though i suppose Survivor is kind of inherently tied to one of the anchoring sins yknow. but their whole deal is journeying past that#so. in the end we just hate Arti i guess even though the gameplay does not let us grow past that!! yayyy rainworld !!!!#im literally only ranting about this because im trying to assign each cat a karma symbol lord help me#Survivor can grow past their anchor to the world being survival + Spearmaster can grow past their anchor potentially being violence and#companionship. Gourmand heavily tied with gluttony and companionship but can ascend + who gives a fuck about him am i right guys#Hunter can grow past its tie to the anchor of violence and survival + i dont think Rivulet even has any strong ties beyond companionship#so of course Riv can ascend Riv can do whatever it wants + Saints anchor to the world is existence itself or maybe ascension violence#dont ask me what the fuck is going on with Saint because then it brings Echoes into the process and that further fucks everything up#obviously Monk can follow in Survivor's footsteps but has even less sins anchoring him to the world + Paincat isnt canon#Artificer cannot do any of these things though because ? fuck you is why. i dont know. Artificer cannot have shit#maybe Arti became an echo. i assume she did
2 notes · View notes
malkaviian · 1 year ago
Text
due to. reasons. i am thinking about the logistics behind a vampire drinking a demon's or angel's blood
#the pleasure of the kiss is quite powerful. for many humans it can be the biggest pleasure they will ever feel in their entire lives#now does that applies to demons and angels? ghosts not included bc. how do you drink from someone without a tangible body#i would say it does. they both feel a lot of pleasure. for angels is a really stressful experience though; because they feel so good#it feels almost as if they were sinning. so you will have them feeling like crap and begging for forgiveness later lmao#meanwhile for a vampire drinking an angel's blood is also very pleasurable for them. it is quite the delicacy 👌#however when it comes to a demon's blood depends on a lot of factors. if you grab an unwilling demon that is also a stranger#it will feel like shit for the both of them. the blood tastes like crap for the vampire and the demon will actually feel pain instead#they're way stronger in that sense because their lord actually cares about them. so a lot of vampire tricks don't work on them#so it depends on how close the demon and vampire in question are and whether or not the demon is willing to give their blood#which--- good for the vampires; most of them are willing to. like they get it; they need to survive. they do what they gotta do.#and it makes it a little bit better for all parties involved. the closeness is another factor#the closest they are the more it feels good for them because they are more prone to falling to the pleasurable illusion vampires create#also the inherent intimacy of the kiss. it makes it better. specially if they go straight to the neck 👌#it can be a very pleasurable experience for them too depending on the factors at play#so anyway that's it#oc talk
5 notes · View notes
corvidcall · 2 years ago
Text
ive been feeling Pretty Bad lately, and imo the worst part of it is that shannon is also Feeling Bad, so we can't really do much for each other. and that seems really unfair imo. at least ONE of us should be functional!!!
3 notes · View notes
cruelsister-moved2 · 2 years ago
Text
sc below:
Tumblr media
i hate this post wheneveri see it sorry lol i can smell the supersessionism. ‘there’s an old jewish story’ yep because judaism is just a quirky abstract reminiscence to help u fix the brokenness of ur own religion and not like a completely different religion with its own theology and philosophy unrelated to urs. there are no people it belongs to or thinkers it produces there is simply an ‘old story’ which you can now insert ur own very specific cultural understandings and theological baggage onto without wondering what the person who said that actually meant by it and if theywould enjoy u using it 2 talk about the guy who invented antisemitism n was forced down their throats for the next 2000 years 
2 notes · View notes
draculacunt · 1 month ago
Text
my friend trusts me………..
1 note · View note
lastoneout · 5 months ago
Text
*grabbing young queer people by the shoulders* listen to me. radical feminism is inherently transphobic. you cannot rehabilitate it or reclaim it or make it trans inclusive, I don't care what the people on twitter who claim to be authorities on queerness say. the foundation of radical feminism is nothing but bio and gender essentialism and biphobia and aphobia and anti-kink rhetoric and intersexism and yes, misogyny. it does not offer a future, not for bi people, aroace people, sex workers, not for kinksters, or intersex people, cis women, or trans people regardless of gender and you should care about those people. it will never result in queer liberation because it is an ideology of exclusion and hatred. you gain nothing by buying into the idea that half the population is evil by birth or by transition. you gain nothing by acting like women are perpetual victims who can't think for themselves and are tainted by their association with men. being a man or being attracted to them is not a sin. if we truly want to stand a chance of dismantling the patriarchy we actually NEED men on our side especially marginalized men. they are our allies.
the problem with terfs is not just transphobia, it never was, the radical feminism is also so unbelievably harmful. you cannot save it and it will not save you, stop drawing lines between queer people and join hands with them instead. remove people who are actually harmful, not innocent people who happen to have the wrong sexuality or gender or job. we get there together or we don't get there at all. we need each other now more than ever. do not listen to those who seek to divide us even if they are queer. we all deserve so much better than the hell radical feminism pretends is a liberated future.
I do not blame anyone who fell prey to this rhetoric, I know it feels good to have a common enemy and lash out at those you think are siding with them however they do it, but men, especially marginalized men, are not your enemies. and it's never too late to realize that and change for the better.
18K notes · View notes
here-there-were-dragons · 3 months ago
Text
all modern writing advice is optimized towards creating the most digestible and marketable mass-appeal piece possible, which everyone has decided is The Only Way To Do Art Right for some reason. i hate it, i fucking hate it so much, i had to stop listening to movie and art concrit videos because it became infuriatingly clear that literally no one has opinions of their own, they're just parroting from a list of How To Make The Most Marketable Thing that they heard from other criticisms, taken as gospel of The One And Only Way To Be Right, and have put no real actual thought into it themselves.
literally all of them now just boil down to "here's how this did/didn't follow the Standard Marketability Checklist to the exact letter. also at least a third of this essay is me randomly interjecting about how much i want to suck off puss in boots 2"
Every 21st century piece of writing advice: Make us CARE about the character from page 1! Make us empathize with them! Make them interesting and different but still relatable and likable!
Every piece of classic literature: Hi. It's me. The bland everyman whose only purpose is to tell you this story. I have no actual personality. Here's the story of the time I encountered the worst people I ever met in my life. But first, ten pages of description about the place in which I met them.
#that damn movie makes my eyes hurt. i feel like the only person on earth that didn't like it#literally the most How To Do It Correct Tm With Absolutely No Fluff checklist movie i've ever seen. so damn boring.#like a case study in that thing someone said in a post somewhere i can't find right now about how modern storytelling i all like#“you shouldn't have literally anything in it except for the absolute most required plot beats”#“and they must perfectly match and exist only to serve The Structure and The Message and The Way The Trope Is Done”#“if anything happens outside of the Structure or just because”#“or if your characters say a single word that's not core-plot-critical. it's wrong and filler and bad. :)”#“also there must always be A Message and that message must be Positive and assure the viewer that Humans are Superior”#“if your story is not a morality parable that everything within exists exclusively to prop up then you're like. probably evil or something”#“also worldbuilding is a sin. no one cares. if you think about any of it any deeper than the mc getting together it's loredumping :)”#“no one likes explained magic sweaty :)”#“stfu autist and give us our surface-level keyjangling children's play about generic anthropocentric positivity messaging :)”#“also never attempt to do anything science-based or Weird because that's also a sin and probably your fetish. ESPECIALLY specbio”#"people ONLY want to see stories about humans and functionally-humans therefore it is inherently incorrect and doing art wrong#to attempt to write anything at all that isn't about either humans or things that are direct stand-ins for humans#or at least metaphors about “the human condition”
129K notes · View notes
cocklessboy · 1 year ago
Text
The other day I told a friend of mine that I never forget to take my ADHD meds because I fucking love my ADHD meds. I'm in my late 30s, I didn't finally get a diagnosis and meds until less than two years ago, and they have changed my entire life.
And he raised his eyebrow at me. We'd been discussing addictive medications a few minutes before, like the Tramadol I finally got from the pain specialist to take once a week or so to give me a break from my chronic pain, so I reassured him that methylpenidate (Ritalin/Concerta) is not addictive (at least not in people with ADHD).
His response? To raise his eyebrow even harder and say "Well it sure SOUNDS like it's addictive!"
And I had to explain to this man - who works in a healthcare related job by the way - that just because medication makes you feel good and helps you, just because you look forward to taking it, that doesn't make it addictive or dangerous. And he wasn't convinced.
The simple fact that I was excited to take a daily pill that has literally changed my life, after decades of fighting to get that medication, made him think I shouldn't be taking it so often. That it must inherently be dangerous.
I'm not even in America, but I'm pretty sure this attitude began there and then spread over here to Europe. This Puritan idea of "if something feels good, you must beware of it. Pleasure is dangerous, it is sinful, it is addiction, it is evil."
I know too many people who subconsciously believe that pleasure = addictive = dangerous = bad. Joy is a slippery slope to hell.
So here is your reminder for today that you don't need to be afraid of feeling good. If something improves your life, use it. Even if it is addictive - learn what that addiction means, whether the addiction is inherently dangerous or not, and whether the benefits outweigh the drawbacks and risks.
My ADHD meds are, in fact, not addictive. But I will take them every day because they make my life orders of magnitude easier. I will enjoy them every time I take them.
My tramadol is addictive. I will still take it. I will keep it on a schedule to avoid becoming addicted, primarily because addiction in this case would mean reduced effectiveness. But I am not afraid of my painkillers. They are life changing.
Take your meds, everyone. Don't let anyone scare you away from doing something that improves your life.
39K notes · View notes