#but it WAS camp and i had fun typing these notes out because of the sheer hilarity of the plotline

[mulders-too-large-shirt]

s2 episode 2 thoughts

woohoo! we are back for another s2 moment! each night i do my duolingo and then have mulder and scully time <3

so we open on a boat which is already awful. boats are lowkey horrific. and something grabs a man working on the sewage and pulls him under. what the hell! worst case scenario on MANY fronts

then we see our good friend mulder who is listening to audio recordings. and boy was this a scene, because he had sunflower seeds everywhere, cartons of takeout scattered, a million empty cans and cups, and a page of little doodles. all while he sits in the dark.

i figured perhaps this was the squalor of the single man apartment, but no! someone opens a door and light pours in, and tells him he has to leave and someone else will take over his case. and that poor man gets forced into his disgusting space. truly the king of not giving a fuck. please try and give one fuck for me mulder

skinner moves him to a murder case in new jersey and he's all "but why did skinner want MEEEEE"

anyway he goes into the sewers, which are thankfully now free of eugene tooms due to the hard work of that one escalator... everybody say thank you escalator... and he finds a body and says send that back to the FBI

mulder busts into skinner's office to yell at him while he was IN A MEETING oh mulder!!! i get ur mad but have some decorum! he's like WHY are you wasting my time! well mulder if you want to work your way back up the ladder i think screaming at ur boss is not a good place to start!

(we also see that skinner's first name is walter and that he has a picture of bill clinton on the wall which i know made sense at the time but in 2024 it's just really funny. there's old willy looking over business)

cutscene to mulder Pondering in the dark and look! enter our dear friend scully!

"is this seat taken?" she asks "no, but i should warn you i'm experiencing violent impulses" he replies. "well, i'm armed, so i'll take my chances" she answered, and i audibly said "AWWW" <3 how sweet

he says he wants to leave the bureau! but she is his only reason to want to stay! gasp! we are gonna have to unpack that later!

she's like but you have a body right...? can i see the body....? can i pls pls pls pls be involved in ur case?

girl's night: autopsy edition! this body was quite decomposed and it had me wondering how exactly they film these scenes, and while i was pondering the process of making a prop body, we hear a loud thunk of scully removing the dude's rib cage to which i nearly fainted but we were Fine it's okay

and i'm holding my breath trying to deal with seeing this dude's insides when we get a WORM JUMPSCARE crawling about in his corpse

back in new jersey we see more sanitation workers and another man getting pummeled by the sewer beast... have we considered giving these men a raise?

the man has a nasty wound and i wrote "i am not built for this" in my notes but mulder strolls into the doctor's office while he's being checked out to investigate... we see the wound that the sanitation guy thinks is a snake that got into the sewers... and i'm thinking that doesn't sound right but i don't know enough about sewers to dispute that information

scully calls and he has to hang up and he gets ANOTHER call and picks up like "scully not now >:(" BUT THE GAG IS... it isn't her... it's some guy saying he has a friend in the FBI....... um

scully has mulder come down to the lab to show off the worm she found and give the audience a nice PSA to not eat raw meat! thank you dr. scully! we then get some worm facts and she seems pleased

BUT MULDER IS MEAN and he accuses her of being responsible for the phone call and she looks so hurt! she says she wouldn't betray his confidence by talking about him wanting to leave! mulder i get that you're in your questioning era but literally one episode ago she picked up your mostly dead body from a jungle compound so?? let's be rational here???

the next scene involved blood coming out of sanitation man's mouth and mostly what i wrote at this point was a few variations of "AUGH" "i cannot look" and "cannot handle this"

at the sanitation plant they capture whatever this Thing is and oh my. well. all i can really think of are those fake mermaids. you know the barnum fake mermaid hoax? or is that too 19th century niche? well either way, it looks like that but Worse. and equipped with suckers. it's a gnarly beast to gaze upon and i wrote more "AUGH"s here

cutscene to scully on a computer reading worm facts. back when you used a big ol computer to research creatures. i miss the 90's (disclaimer: i was not alive for them at all)

mulder lets her see the creature (which they have put in a mental hospital?) and she is SO excited to see this sort of beast BUT she figured out it was connected to the first attack because someone slipped a magazine article with a hint under her door!!!! looks like there really is someone on the inside...

she also says "i'd consider it more than a professional loss if you decided to leave" WAHHHHHHH <- me crying like a baby at this line

mulder's sitting in skinner's office like a kid stuck in detention and skinner says they're gonna prosecute the worm monkey baby thing and i nearly cried at the mental image of putting that beast on trial. skinner was like "you want to put it in the zoo?" I fear that's far more reasonable.....????? like how is he gonna testify he's WORM MONKEY BABY THING

mulder is again very pissed off and tells skinner that they could have saved the second man (who died in the shower while i was looking away from his bleeding) because he had agents who could have handled it but he shut the x files down and skinner is like. i know. but i was just following orders... tea....

okay so i THOUGHT the worm monkey was baby sized but now they're taking him somewhere else and he is full man sized... but he breaks out of his restraints, we hear a gunshot, and he escapes into a toilet... NO, i yelled to the sanitation worker on my screen, THE WORM IS INSIDE (he couldn't hear me)

mulder's at the scene and gets another mysterious phone call telling him he CANNOT mess this case up because there needs to be undeniable proof the x files must come back... okay no pressure!

so the worm monkey is somewhere in the sewer plant and scully calls like "i think the little worm we found was a baby and it's looking for a place to lay its eggs so we CANNOT let it escape"

(mulder and another worker go into the sewers without any sort of worm monkey handling equipment, idk i was thinking a shotgun might be appropriate here. like what did they think they were gonna do? wrestle it?)

the other worker falls in so NATURALLY our hero mulder (who is still a hero even if he has been cranky af lately) jumps in after him

and mulder GUILLOTINES the worm monkey in what can only be described as an average fox w 🔥🔥

at the end we see scully and mulder once again meet on a public bench in the dark, where she shares that the genetic testing proved that this thing was actually a mixture of human and worm that came from radioactive waste at chernobyl??? so. that's fucked up. haven't they suffered enough.

(but i like that this is a monster made possible by humans and yet still very real, even if that seems... an unlikely story... still, for dana scully's sake i'm happy this is something that can be proved by Science)

((although i hate to know what the implications are for the chernobyl dogs in this universe...))

we end with a shot of worm monkey baby, who has been split in half, re-opening its eyes. now i do think sea worms can sometimes grow back so this isn't SHOCKING. but it is displeasing nonetheless.

overall, listen; mulder, you've had it rough. they've slashed your life's work and you doubt reality. but man. clean your desk up. be nice to scully. skinner is clearly on ur side. i need to shake his stupidly tall frame and knock some sense into him. that beautiful woman wants to tell you worm facts and you should be writing it all down intently.

(good angst though, love that she's the only reason he wants to stay. and love her little autopsy time <3)

[bratzkoo]

offside | seungcheol

Author: bratzkoo Pairing:  Hockey team player/captain! Seungcheol x Physical Therapist! reader Genre: fluff, chaos Rating: PG-13 Word count: 6.5k Warnings/note: i wrote this to start chaos. have fun reading!

summary: seungcheol's hockey teammates just wants a break from their captain's strictness with hockey practice and decides to force him to join a dating app.

taglist (hit me up if you wanna be added): @escoupseu , @yanabaaaaaaarysheva , @spnyin , @sousydive , @gyuguys

requests are open, but you can just say hi! | masterlist

"Desperate Times Call For Desperate Teamates"

"We need to do something," Seungkwan declared dramatically, sliding down the practice room wall. "I can't feel my legs, and I swear I saw Dino's soul leave his body during that last drill."

The maknae in question was indeed face-down on the floor, only managing a weak thumbs up to confirm his continued existence.

"He's gotten worse," Jeonghan observed from his position on the bench, watching their leader through the glass as Seungcheol reviewed practice footage. Again. "Yesterday, I caught him making a spreadsheet comparing different practice intensities. He color-coded it."

"That's... normal?" Vernon tried optimistically.

"At 3 AM, Vernonie. 3 AM."

A collective groan echoed through the room.

"Did you know," Mingyu started, still catching his breath, "he named his new hockey stick? I heard him calling it 'Dedication' while cleaning it."

"Better than last week's 'Discipline'," Wonwoo muttered, not looking up from his phone where he was apparently documenting their captain's concerning behaviors.

Jun raised his hand like a student in class. "Question: is it normal that he's memorizing the ice rink's maintenance schedule? He knows when they resurface the ice better than the zamboni driver."

"The driver's married, by the way," DK added helpfully. "Even the penalty box has more romance than our captain."

Hoshi suddenly sat up straight, eyes wide with his trademark tiger enthusiasm. "THAT'S IT!"

"Indoor voice, please," Woozi grumbled, rubbing his temples. "Some of us are still recovering from this morning's 'voluntary' extra practice."

"No, no, listen!" Hoshi was now pacing, his energy seemingly restored. "What does our Coups-hyung need?"

"A life?" Minghao suggested.

"Sleep?" from Joshua.

"Therapy?" Wonwoo pushed up his glasses.

"A GIRLFRIEND!" Hoshi announced triumphantly.

The practice room fell silent. Twelve pairs of eyes shifted to look at their captain through the glass, who was now rewinding the same play for what must have been the twentieth time.

"That..." Jeonghan started slowly, a mischievous smile spreading across his face, "might be the first useful thing you've said all year, Hoshi-yah."

"Hey!"

"No, no, he's onto something," Joshua leaned forward, already pulling out his phone. "Remember when Seungcheol-hyung had that crush on the girl from the coffee shop last year?"

"Oh yeah," Dino suddenly revived from his floor position. "He actually left practice on time for like two weeks."

"Until he scared her away by talking about hockey stats," Seungkwan reminded them.

"That's why," Jeonghan stood up, commanding attention like the second eldest should, "we need a plan. A mission."

"A mission impossible," Vernon quipped.

"Exactly!" Jeonghan pointed at him. "We need to get our captain a girlfriend before he turns this team into an Olympic training camp."

Woozi raised an eyebrow. "And how exactly do you propose we do that?"

"Simple," Jeonghan's smile grew wider, more dangerous. "We form committees."

"Oh no," Joshua muttered, knowing that look.

"Oh YES," Seungkwan perked up, loving that look.

And thus, Operation "Mission Impossible: Get Seungcheol a Girlfriend Because We're Afraid He's Gonna Be More Strict With Practice Like Let Him Get a Life Pls Pls Pls" was born.

"We need a shorter name," Wonwoo noted, already typing it in his phone.

"M.I.G.S.A.G.B.W.A.H.G.B.M.S.W.P.L.H.G.A.L.P.P.P?" Vernon tried.

"Perfect," Jeonghan clapped his hands. "Now, for the committees. Hoshi, you're in charge of daily tiger horoscope readings-"

"That's not a thing," Woozi interjected.

"It is now. Joshua, you're documenting everything. Mingyu and Minghao, you're on style watch - make sure he doesn't wear hockey jerseys on dates."

"Bold of you to assume he owns other clothes," Mingyu muttered.

"Seungkwan, you're our drama department-"

"I was born ready!"

"Wonwoo, you're researching dating apps. Vernon and Jun, you're our social media experts. Dino... just try to survive practice for now."

"What about me?" DK raised his hand.

"You and Woozi are our emergency extraction team. If any date goes wrong, you pull him out with a fake emergency."

"Can the emergency be my dying leg muscles?" Dino asked from the floor.

"Speaking of," Jun suddenly pointed at the glass. "Incoming!"

They scattered like startled cats just as Seungcheol opened the door, looking suspiciously at his suddenly innocent-looking teammates.

"Break's over. Let's run that play again."

The collective internal screaming was audible.

"We start tonight," Jeonghan whispered as they lined up. "For our legs."

"For our legs," twelve voices whispered back.

-

6:00 PM - Team Lounge Preparation

"Places everyone!" Jeonghan's voice commanded through the earpieces he'd borrowed (stolen) from the broadcasting team. "Hoshi, status on the PowerPoint?"

"Forty-seven slides of pure tiger-themed conviction!" 

"It was supposed to be five slides," Woozi muttered, sitting at the piano he'd somehow smuggled in. "Also, why am I composing 'The Ballad of Single Seungcheol' again?"

"Emotional impact," Seungkwan explained, practicing his dramatic slides across the floor. "We need background music for my monologue about dying alone."

"No one's dying alone," Joshua sighed, reviewing his crisis management notebook:

- Plan A: Direct confrontation

- Plan B: Emotional manipulation

- Plan C: Vernon's interpretive dance

- Plan Z: Release the embarrassing photos

Meanwhile, Mingyu and Minghao were strategically placing furniture.

"The chair needs to be exactly 45 degrees under the spotlight," Minghao insisted.

"We don't have a spotlight," Mingyu pointed out.

"VERNON!"

"On it!" Vernon appeared with a desk lamp and determination.

At the same time - Y/N's Clinic Break Room

"You need to date," Krissa, Y/N's coworker, declared while stealing her lunch. "When was the last time you went out?"

"I go out!" Y/N protested, thinking about her weekly grocery runs.

"The old lady with the hip replacement asking you to dinner with her grandson doesn't count."

"Mrs. Kim is sweet..."

"She's also convinced her grandson is the next president. He collects rubber ducks, Y/N. Rubber. Ducks."

6:30 PM - The Ambush Begins

Seungcheol was having a good day. He'd organized new training menus (color-coded by intensity), named his newest hockey stick ("Perseverance"), and only spent three hours analyzing game footage.

The first sign something was wrong: the lounge lights were off.

The second sign: Mingyu trying (failing) to hide his 6'2" frame behind a plant.

"What-"

"HYUNG!" Seungkwan's voice echoed dramatically. "Do you know what day it is?"

"...Thursday?"

"IT'S YOUR INTERVENTION!"

The lights flashed on. Seungcheol found himself surrounded by his teammates, each wearing matching black hoodies with "Code Red: The Captain NEEDS a GIRLFRIEND" printed in glittering letters.

"Are those... rhinestones?"

"Focus!" Jeonghan stepped forward. "Seungcheol-ah, we need to talk about your relationship with hockey."

"My perfectly normal-"

"YOU TRIED TO INSTALL AN ICE RINK IN YOUR APARTMENT!" DK interrupted.

"It was a small one-"

"Exhibit A!" Hoshi clicked to his first slide, featuring a pie chart of Seungcheol's daily activities:

- 60% Hockey

- 30% Thinking about hockey

- 9% Basic human needs

- 1% Everything else

"That's... not accurate?"

"Exhibit B!" Another slide: a photo series titled 'The Evolution of Our Captain's Dating Life' showing:

- 2019: Attempted to explain offside rules on first date

- 2020: Brought hockey stick to coffee shop

- 2021: Asked team manager for practice schedules during blind date

- 2022: "Is being married to hockey valid?"

Meanwhile - Y/N's Evening Commute

"Just download the app," Krissa had insisted, practically forcing Y/N's thumb onto the install button. "Trust the algorithm!"

Now, squished between a businessman and a grandmother on the subway, Y/N found herself mindlessly scrolling through profiles.

Too posed. Too filtered. Too... is that guy posing with a fish?

Then she saw it.

'Cheol, 26'

The first photo was clearly candid - a genuine smile, caught mid-laugh. Someone had badly edited out what looked like hockey gear in the background, leaving obvious white spaces.

The second photo: attempting to look serious but his eyes gave away suppressed laughter. More suspicious white spaces around him.

The third: clearly taken without his knowledge, feeding a stray cat.

Bio: "Just a guy who likes ice sports and dad jokes. My friends made me download this. They're currently holding my training menus hostage. Send help."

Y/N found herself smiling. There was something refreshingly honest about him.

Back at the Ambush...

"And THAT'S why penguins mate for life!" Hoshi concluded slide thirty-seven.

"What do penguins have to do with-" Seungcheol started.

"EVERYTHING!" Seungkwan was now lying dramatically across the floor. "Even flightless birds find love, hyung!"

"Woozi-hyung, music!" DK cued.

The opening notes of 'The Ballad of Single Seungcheol' filled the room, accompanied by Vernon's unexpected contemporary dance.

"When did he learn-" Seungcheol tried again.

"STOP DEFLECTING!" Jeonghan commanded. "Mingyu, the phone!"

"For our legs!" Mingyu declared, executing a perfect phone-grabbing maneuver.

"YAH!"

"Jun, Minghao, initiate synchronized intervention dance!"

"We have a dance?!" Minghao looked panicked.

"Improvise!"

- After 15 minutes of improvised dance, they managed to make Seungcheol agree in making a dating app profile: "Bio first," Wonwoo adjusted his glasses, phone in hand. "Interests?"

"Hockey!" Seungcheol offered from his chair, where he was being guarded by Mingyu and Jun.

"NO!" Eleven voices shouted.

"Put 'enjoys sports'," Joshua suggested diplomatically.

"And dad jokes," Jeonghan added. "He needs to warn them early."

"What about: 'Looking for someone to share ice cream with'?" Vernon suggested.

"That's... actually cute?" Woozi sounded surprised.

"Add 'good with kids'!" Hoshi insisted.

"I've never-"

"YOU LITERALLY TUCK US IN AFTER PRACTICE!" Seungkwan interrupted.

Photo Selection Committee:

"No hockey photos," Mingyu declared, scrolling through Seungcheol's gallery.

"That's 98% of my photos-"

"We know," Minghao sighed. "That's the problem."

"Oh! This one!" Dino pointed. "From team dinner!"

"Too many hockey players in frame," Joshua vetoed.

"We could edit them out?" Jun suggested.

"NO-" Seungcheol started.

"Wonwoo, your Photoshop skills!" Jeonghan commanded.

"On it."

"Is that... why is there a white blob where Mingyu was standing?"

"Artistic choice," Wonwoo muttered, concentrated.

Meanwhile - Y/N's Apartment

"You're overthinking," Krissa's voice came through the phone as Y/N stared at Cheol's profile.

"His friends clearly made this profile-"

"That's cute! It means he's not a player."

"But what if-"

"Y/N, I swear, if you don't swipe right-"

"His smile seems genuine..."

"SWIPE. RIGHT. NOW."

Back at the Ambush:

"And done!" Wonwoo announced. "Profile complete."

Seungcheol looked horrified at the final result:

Photos:

Team dinner (now with mysterious white blobs)

Feeding cat (only half-edited hockey stick visible)

Candid laugh (suspiciously cropped)

Bio: "Just a guy who enjoys sports, dad jokes, and ice cream. Good with kids (and teammates). My friends made me download this. They're currently holding my training menus hostage. Send help."

"It's... honest?" Joshua offered.

"Too honest," Seungcheol groaned.

"Now we wait-" Jeonghan started.

ping

Thirteen heads snapped toward the phone.

"Is that..." Dino peered closer.

"A MATCH!" Seungkwan actually collapsed.

"Someone check if he's breathing," Woozi muttered.

Y/N's profile lit up the screen.

Seungcheol felt his ears turn red as he read:

"Physical therapist who loves dogs, rainy days, and helping people recover. Looking for something genuine. Probably swiping through this while drinking coffee."

Her smile was warm, natural. No filters, no posed shots. Just... real.

"She's perfect!" Hoshi declared. "The stars-"

"If you say the stars align one more time-" Woozi threatened.

"But they do!"

"Quick, say something!" Mingyu urged.

"I can do this myself-"

"The last time you messaged someone, you sent hockey statistics," Jun reminded him.

"One time!"

"Three times," Joshua corrected, consulting his notes. "Four if we count the referee explanation."

Seungcheol looked at Y/N's profile again. Something about her eyes seemed kind, understanding. Before his teammates could interfere, he typed:

"Since you're a physical therapist, any advice for teammates who dramatically fall during interventions?"

Across Seoul, Y/N was curled up on her couch when the message came through. She laughed out loud, typing back:

"Depends. Was it a planned fall or genuine distress? In my professional opinion, dramatic interventions require proper falling technique."

In the team lounge:

"She has humor!" Seungkwan had revived just to faint again.

"And medical knowledge for your old joints!" Dino dodged another flying pillow.

"Mission status?" Jeonghan asked formally.

"Phase one..." Joshua consulted his notebook, "surprisingly successful?"

"Now what?" Vernon asked.

"Now," Jeonghan smiled mysteriously, "we begin Phase Two: Operation First Date."

"We have a Phase Two?" Woozi looked concerned.

"We have phases up to Z," Joshua showed his notebook.

"God help us all," Seungcheol muttered, but he was smiling at his phone.

Little did Y/N know that her simple right swipe had initiated not just a potential romance, but had inadvertently involved her in the chaos of thirteen hockey players' most ambitious mission yet.

And somewhere in the lounge, Hoshi was already preparing his "Why Tigers Make Great Wedding Mascots" presentation.

-

“How To Text While Twelve People Read Over Your Shoulder"

Team Lounge - 10 Minutes Post-Match

"Don't just stare at her message," Mingyu urged, practically draped over Seungcheol's shoulder.

"I'm thinking-"

"That's your problem!" Seungkwan had recovered enough to offer wisdom. "Less thinking, more heart!"

Seungcheol typed: "My teammate's falls are an art form. Years of practice-"

"NO SPORTS REFERENCES!" Twelve voices yelled.

Delete, delete, delete.

"Just be yourself," Joshua advised.

"But not too much yourself," Jeonghan added.

"What does that even mean?" Seungcheol groaned.

Meanwhile - Y/N's Apartment

"He's taking a while to respond," Y/N muttered, watching the typing bubble appear and disappear.

"Maybe he's nervous?" Krissa suggested through the phone.

"Or composing poetry," Y/N joked.

"Or being attacked by friends," Krissa laughed.

If only she knew.

Back at the Lounge:

"Okay, how about..." Seungcheol tried again.

"You have to match her energy!" Hoshi was now doing his tiger-energy dance.

"Stop pressuring him," Wonwoo adjusted his glasses. "Statistically, overthinking first messages leads to-"

"No statistics!" Jun covered his ears.

Finally, Seungcheol managed to type:

"Would you believe me if I said one teammate has a dedicated falling technique for every emotional situation? We're currently at 'betrayed by captain who won't date' level dramatics."

Send.

"OH MY GOD HE SENT IT-" Seungkwan started hyperventilating.

"Quick, everyone act natural!" DK suggested, immediately striking the most unnatural pose possible.

Y/N's response came quickly:

"😂 As a professional, I'd love to analyze these techniques. For medical purposes, of course. Does he take appointments?"

The lounge erupted:

"She's funny!" from Vernon.

"She used an emoji!" Dino noted.

"Medical purposes," Woozi smirked.

"RESPOND FASTER!" Mingyu shook Seungcheol.

Meanwhile, in another corner, Operation Phase Two was already underway:

"Gather round," Jeonghan whispered to his secret subcommittee. "We need to prepare for every possible first date scenario."

Joshua pulled out a new notebook labeled "First Date Contingency Plans A-Z":

Plan A: Coffee Shop

- Pros: Casual, easy escape

- Cons: Might talk about hockey

- Solution: Remove all sports channels from café TVs

Plan B: Dog Café

- Pros: Cute animals, natural conversation

- Cons: Seungcheol might be allergic

- Note: Test for allergies immediately

Plan C: Restaurant

- Pros: Traditional, romantic

- Cons: Too much pressure

- Solution: Have team occupy all surrounding tables

"Should we include Plan T for Tiger Zoo?" Hoshi asked hopefully.

"No."

Back to the main conversation:

Seungcheol: "He's currently booked solid with interventions, but I hear he's willing to demonstrate for medical professionals 😊"

Y/N: "How generous! Though I should warn you, my professional opinion might include prescribing more social interactions for certain hockey-focused captains 😉"

The lounge went silent.

"Did she just..." Vernon started.

"She figured out..." Mingyu gasped.

"A WOMAN OF INTELLIGENCE!" Seungkwan declared.

Seungcheol felt his ears redden but found himself smiling as he typed:

"Caught me. Though in my defense, my team's intervention included a PowerPoint about why penguins finding love means I should too."

Y/N's Apartment:

She was grinning at her phone, ignoring Krissa's demands for updates. There was something endearing about this clearly hockey-obsessed captain and his concerned teammates.

Y/N: "Penguins are quite romantic. Though I hope your team knows humans have slightly different courtship rituals. Slightly."

Team Lounge:

"Is this... flirting?" Dino whispered in awe.

"Taking notes," Joshua muttered, scribbling furiously.

"We should give them space," Woozi suggested sensibly.

Nobody moved.

"I meant that as a command," Woozi glared.

Still nobody moved.

Seungcheol, somehow managing to type despite twelve people breathing down his neck:

"Would you be interested in discussing these human courtship rituals over coffee? I promise no PowerPoints. Can't guarantee no dramatic teammates though."

The lounge held its breath.

Y/N: "I'd like that! Fair warning though - I might assess your teammate's falling technique from afar. Professional curiosity 😊"

"SHE SAID YES!" 

Chaos erupted:

- Seungkwan fainted (again)

- Hoshi began his victory tiger dance

- Vernon started his congratulatory rap

- Woozi contemplated early retirement

- Jeonghan's eyes gleamed with Phase Two possibilities

"Operation First Date begins now," Joshua announced formally.

"Can I just plan my own date?" Seungcheol tried.

The look of pity he received from twelve pairs of eyes was answer enough.

- "Operation First Date (Or Twelve Ways to Overcomplicate Coffee)"

The Pre-Date Strategy Meeting - 3 Days Before

"ATTENTION!" Jeonghan stood at a whiteboard, pointer in hand. The team lounge had been transformed into a tactical command center, complete with:

- Floor plans of every coffee shop in a 5-mile radius

- Weather forecasts for the next week

- A mysterious PowerPoint titled "Tiger Luck in Romance"

- Seungkwan's "Emergency Scenarios" binder

- Joshua's "Date Exit Strategies A-Z"

Seungcheol sat in the corner, wondering where it all went wrong.

"First," Jeonghan began, "location analysis."

Wonwoo stepped forward, pushing up his glasses:

"I've compiled data on 47 potential coffee shops based on:

- Ambient lighting

- Background music volume

- Table spacing for optimal conversation

- Distance from hockey-related establishments

- Escape route availability"

"It's just coffee," Seungcheol muttered.

"JUST COFFEE?!" Seungkwan clutched his chest. "This is your FUTURE!"

"Moving on," Jeonghan continued. "Mingyu, wardrobe report."

Mingyu unveiled a clothing rack that definitely wasn't in the lounge this morning.

"I've prepared three categories:

1. 'Casual but Make It Romantic'

2. 'Yes I'm a Hockey Captain but I Read Books Too'

3. 'Trust Me I Have Other Hobbies'"

"Are those my clothes?" Seungcheol squinted.

"No, these are better," Minghao replied, sorting through fabrics. "Your clothes all say 'I sleep in hockey gear.'"

Meanwhile - Y/N's Preparation

"Just wear something comfortable," Krissa suggested, watching Y/N tear through her closet.

"But what kind of comfortable? Coffee comfortable? First date comfortable? Meeting-a-hockey-captain comfortable?"

"Is that last one a category?"

"I'm making it one!"

Back at Strategy HQ:

"Conversation topics!" Joshua read from his notebook.

DK raised his hand. "What about-"

"No hockey," everyone chorused.

"But-"

"NO. HOCKEY."

Hoshi bounced up. "The stars say-"

"No horoscopes," Woozi interrupted.

"But the tigers-"

"Especially no tiger horoscopes."

Vernon, surprisingly practical: "Why don't you just... talk normally?"

The room fell silent. Everyone looked at Vernon like he'd suggested playing hockey blindfolded.

"Talk... normally?" Jeonghan tested the words.

"Like... without a script?" Jun looked concerned.

"Absolutely not," Seungkwan declared. "We need contingency plans!"

The Emergency Scenarios Binder appeared:

- Scenario 1: Awkward Silence

  Solution: Pre-planted conversation cards under sugar packets

- Scenario 2: Hockey Mention

  Solution: DK's emergency dance distraction

- Scenario 3: Rain

  Solution: Strategic umbrella placement by Jun

- Scenario 4: She Recognizes Surveillance Team

  Solution: Mingyu's "We're Filming a Documentary" cover story

"Surveillance team?!" Seungcheol stood up.

"Sit down," Jeonghan commanded. "We're not done with the scenarios."

"There's more?!"

"There's always more," Joshua said ominously, flipping to his notebook's section labeled 'Crisis Management'.

Dino raised his hand. "What about our positions?"

"Ah yes," Jeonghan pulled down a blueprint. "Operation Coffee Shop Placement":

- Wonwoo & Mingyu: Window seats, pretending to study

- Joshua & Jeonghan: Counter, monitoring drink orders

- Seungkwan & Vernon: Outside café, "casual" pedestrians

- Jun & Minghao: Corner table, fake art students

- Hoshi: Emergency tiger energy provider

- Woozi: Getaway driver

- DK & Dino: Backup dancers if needed

"Getaway driver?!" Seungcheol looked alarmed.

"You never know," Woozi shrugged.

"And I'll be monitoring everyone's positions through these," Hoshi proudly held up twelve earpieces.

"Absolutely not," Seungcheol stood again.

"You're right," Jeonghan nodded. "We need color-coded earpieces."

The Day Before - Final Preparations:

Text from Y/N: "Looking forward to tomorrow! Any preference for which café?"

The team lounge exploded into action:

- Wonwoo consulting his café spreadsheets

- Mingyu checking lighting angles

- Joshua reviewing escape routes

- Seungkwan practicing his "casual pedestrian" walk

- Hoshi doing good luck tiger dances

Seungcheol, somehow maintaining sanity: "How about Stone Street Café at 2?"

"THAT WASN'T ON THE APPROVED LIST!" Seungkwan screeched.

"Perfect timing and place!" Y/N replied.

"She's perfect," Hoshi whispered. "The tigers were right."

"The tigers weren't-" Woozi started, then gave up.

"Tomorrow then," Jeonghan announced dramatically, "Operation First Date begins."

"Can't wait! 😊" Y/N texted, blissfully unaware of the twelve-man tactical team she'd inadvertently invited to coffee.

- "Operation First Date (Or How Twelve Hockey Players Became Drama Addicts)"

D-Day: Stone Street Café

1:30 PM - Initial Positions

"Everyone remember their roles?" Jeonghan whispered into the earpiece.

"We could just... not do this," Woozi suggested from the getaway car.

"COMMITMENT!" Seungkwan adjusted his "casual pedestrian" beret.

1:45 PM - Target Sighting

"Eagle has landed," Vernon reported, watching Seungcheol approach. "He's... wait."

"Report!" Jeonghan demanded.

"He looks... good?"

Everyone peered through various windows and hiding spots. Their captain had somehow:

- Styled his hair naturally

- Worn the outfit they approved

- Arrived early

- Wasn't carrying any hockey equipment

"Did we enter an alternate universe?" Minghao whispered.

1:55 PM - Second Target

"Y/N approaching from the east," Mingyu reported from his "study" table. "She's..."

"She's?" Eleven voices asked.

"Wow."

Y/N walked up to the café, a simple sundress and genuine smile making their captain visibly malfunction.

"Oh no, he's frozen," Jun panicked.

"Deploy emergency-" Seungkwan started.

But then...

2:00 PM - The Shift

Seungcheol smiled - not his camera smile, not his captain smile, but something softer. He opened the door for her, and...

"Did you see that?" Joshua whispered.

"The way they both laughed at the same time?" Jeonghan was already invested.

"Shhh!" Dino hushed. "We can't hear!"

Inside the café:

"I honestly wasn't sure if you'd come alone," Y/N grinned, settling into her seat.

"What makes you think I did?" Seungcheol raised an eyebrow.

Y/N casually glanced around, spotting:

- Two very tall men aggressively pretending to study

- A pair of "art students" who hadn't touched their sketchbooks

- A beret-wearing individual walking past the window for the fifth time

"Just a hunch," she smiled.

In various hiding spots:

"She knows!" Vernon whispered.

"But she's not running," Wonwoo observed.

"Guys," Mingyu suddenly said, "look."

They watched as Seungcheol and Y/N fell into easy conversation. No emergency cards needed. No tiger horoscopes required. Just... natural.

2:30 PM - The Evolution

"Should we deploy conversation starter #7?" Seungkwan asked.

"Wait..." Jeonghan held up his hand, watching.

Inside:

"So," Y/N leaned forward, "tell me about hockey."

Twelve hearts stopped.

But instead of launching into statistics, Seungcheol said, "Only if you tell me about what made you choose physical therapy."

She lit up, and suddenly they were sharing stories, laughing, completely lost in their own world.

The Surveillance Team:

"Are we... watching a drama?" DK whispered.

"Quick, someone film this!" Hoshi was emotional.

"Already on it," Joshua had his phone out.

3:00 PM - The Realization

One by one, the earpieces went silent. The elaborate plans forgotten. Twelve hockey players found themselves completely invested in watching their captain just... be happy.

"They're perfect together," Seungkwan sniffled.

"The way she makes him laugh..." Dino observed.

"The way he actually listens..." Mingyu added.

"No one mention hockey once..." Woozi noted, now inside with popcorn(?).

4:00 PM - Mission Evolution

As Seungcheol and Y/N prepared to leave, plans for a second date already made, the team had completely abandoned their positions in favor of:

- Seungkwan and DK writing a musical about them

- Hoshi planning their wedding

- Joshua documenting everything for future generations

- Jeonghan already plotting "Operation Second Date"

- Mingyu and Vernon designing couple merchandise

- Minghao and Jun choreographing a congratulatory dance

- Wonwoo calculating their compatibility (98.7%)

- Dino learning wedding songs

- Woozi pretending he wasn't composing a love song

Outside the Café:

"Your friends are really invested," Y/N commented, watching various heads duck behind plants.

"I'm sorry about them," Seungcheol rubbed his neck.

"Don't be. It's sweet. Though..." she grinned, "they might want to work on their stealth skills. I don't think art students usually cry over other people's coffee dates."

They both looked at Seungkwan, who was openly weeping into his beret.

"Second date?" Seungcheol asked hopefully.

"Definitely. Maybe somewhere with less... audience?"

"IMPOSSIBLE!" came a chorus of whispers from various plants.

Later - Team Lounge:

"Mission status?" Jeonghan asked formally.

"Complete success," Joshua reported, still emotional.

"Better than success," Seungkwan declared. "It's true love!"

"It's one date," Woozi reminded them.

"But did you see how they LOOKED at each other?!" Hoshi was already preparing his "Why Tigers Make Perfect Ring Bearers" presentation.

"So..." Vernon asked what everyone was thinking, "Operation Second Date?"

Seungcheol, walking in: "No."

"But-"

"Absolutely not."

"We'll be subtle!" Mingyu promised.

"You cried into a textbook."

"Those were subtle tears!"

Y/N's Apartment:

"How was it?" Krissa demanded.

Y/N smiled, thinking of gentle eyes and genuine laughs, of twelve not-so-hidden supporters and one perfect afternoon.

"It was... unexpected. In the best way."

Her phone buzzed:

Seungcheol: "I apologize for my team. They're... enthusiastic."

Y/N: "They care about you. It's cute. Though I did wonder why one kept making tiger poses."

Seungcheol: "That's just Hoshi. Wait until you meet him properly."

Y/N: "Looking forward to it 😊"

Team Lounge:

"She said she's looking forward to meeting us!" Seungkwan announced to the group chat.

"FAMILY DINNER!" twelve voices decided.

"No," Seungcheol texted back.

"Too late," Jeonghan was already planning.

"Operation Family Dinner begins now!" Joshua declared.

"We're not calling it-" Woozi started.

"OPERATION FAMILY DINNER!" everyone chorused.

Seungcheol sighed, but he was smiling. Maybe their chaos had led to something perfect after all.

-

"The One Where Someone Actually Likes Hockey (And Him)"

Operation Family Dinner Prep - Team Lounge

"Ground rules," Jeonghan addressed the team. "No embarrassing stories-"

"There goes my PowerPoint," Seungkwan sighed.

"No tiger facts-"

"But-" Hoshi started.

"NO tiger facts, and absolutely no-"

"MISSION ACCOMPLISHED BANNER!" Mingyu and Vernon burst in, proudly displaying a giant banner reading "THANK YOU FOR LIKING OUR CAPTAIN"

"Take it down," Seungcheol groaned.

"But we used glitter!" Vernon protested.

Meanwhile - Y/N's Apartment

"Twelve hockey players," Krissa repeated. "You're having dinner with twelve hockey players."

"Plus Seungcheol," Y/N added, trying on her fifth outfit.

"The same twelve who stalked your coffee date?"

"They weren't stalking! They were... enthusiastically supporting."

The Dinner - 7 PM

Y/N arrived at the team's favorite restaurant to find:

- The banner (they didn't take it down)

- Seungkwan practicing his welcome speech

- Hoshi's "subtle" tiger decorations

- Twelve very excited hockey players

- One very apologetic Seungcheol

"I'm so sorry," he whispered. "We can leave-"

"Are you kidding? This is adorable!"

The team collectively melted.

Dinner was in full swing when Seungcheol started explaining a particularly complex play. The twelve teammates watched in fascination, each processing this unprecedented scene differently:

Jeonghan's Corner: "I've seen him scare away five dates with hockey talk," he whispered to Joshua. "Six," Joshua corrected, still filming. "Remember the coffee shop girl who ran away during his penalty explanation?" "But look at Y/N..." They watched as she drew actual play diagrams on napkins. "Are we sure she's real?"

Hoshi & DK's Observation: "The way she gets excited when he gets excited," DK clutched his chest. "It's like watching a drama!" Hoshi wiped a tear. "Better than your tiger documentaries?" "Nothing's better than- OH MY GOD SHE JUST ASKED ABOUT GAME STRATEGIES!"

Mingyu to Wonwoo: "Remember when he tried explaining hockey to my sister?" "She blocked his number," Wonwoo nodded. "But Y/N just asked him to explain MORE." "Statistically impossible but... happening right in front of us."

Minghao noticed something: "Look at his hands," he whispered to Jun. "What about them?" "They're not doing the nervous thing. He's just... comfortable." Jun sniffled: "Our captain's growing up!"

Woozi's Mental Notes:

First date to survive hockey talk ✓

Actually understands offside rules ✓

Makes Seungcheol laugh naturally ✓

Might need to compose a love song after all

Seungkwan's Live Commentary to Vernon: "Did you see that? She just made a hockey joke!" "And he actually laughed-" "NOT THE POLITE LAUGH, VERNON. THE REAL ONE!" "Should you be taking notes this intensely?" "This is historical documentation!"

Dino, watching it all unfold: "Hyung looks... different." "Happy," everyone replied simultaneously.

The turning point came when Y/N casually mentioned:

"Oh, that reminds me of your game last month - the one where you adjusted the defensive formation mid-play? That was brilliant."

Seungcheol froze mid-explanation. "You... watched our old games?"

Y/N blushed slightly. "I might have done some research? I wanted to understand what you love about it. Plus," she grinned, "watching you lead your team is pretty attractive."

Several things happened at once:

Seungkwan choked on air

Jeonghan dropped his phone

Joshua caught it without looking (still filming)

Hoshi started doing tiny victory tiger paws

Mingyu and Minghao high-fived

Wonwoo's glasses fogged up

DK clutched Jun in emotional support

Vernon patted a crying Seungkwan

Woozi pretended he wasn't writing lyrics

Dino watched his hyungs lose their collective minds

But most importantly: Seungcheol looked at Y/N like she had just scored the winning goal in the championship game.

Later, during dessert:

"I have a confession," Y/N admitted to the table. "I might have noticed you all at the coffee shop."

"We were subtle!" Seungkwan protested.

"You cried into a plant."

"Those were subtle tears!"

"And the one doing tiger poses by the window..."

"That was for good luck!" Hoshi defended.

"And the two tall ones pretending to study..."

Mingyu and Wonwoo suddenly found the ceiling fascinating.

"...was actually really sweet. He's lucky to have people who care so much."

The team melted all over again.

"She understands us too," Jeonghan whispered reverently.

"ONE OF US!" Seungkwan declared.

"We're keeping her," Hoshi announced.

"That's not how it works-" Woozi started.

"Too late! Already adopted!" DK confirmed.

Y/N laughed, fitting perfectly into their chaos while her hand found Seungcheol's under the table.

Later that night, Team Group Chat (Minus Seungcheol):

Seungkwan: EMERGENCY MEETING Joshua: It's midnight Seungkwan: LOVE DOESN'T SLEEP Jeonghan: Operation Wedding Planning begins Woozi: It's been ONE dinner Hoshi: BUT DID YOU SEE THEM?! Mingyu: They're perfect 🥺 Vernon: The way she understood hockey... DK: The way he smiled... Jun: The way they looked at each other... Minghao: The way they just fit... Dino: So... Operation Wedding Planning? Wonwoo: sends spreadsheet 

Meanwhile, Seungcheol walking Y/N home:

"I'm sorry about them," he started.

"Don't be. They're wonderful. Chaotic, but wonderful."

"Like a hurricane of love," he laughed.

"With a tiger twist," she added.

He looked at her then, really looked at her, and thought maybe his team's crazy plans weren't so crazy after all.

- Something was definitely different about their captain. The first signs were subtle - arriving five minutes late to practice (unheard of), constant phone checking (suspicious), and most alarmingly, humming while setting up drills (miraculous). The team huddled at the corner of the rink, watching Seungcheol with a mixture of awe and disbelief as he smiled at his phone for the fifth time in ten minutes.

"I think we broke him," Seungkwan whispered, clutching Vernon's arm. "Our plan worked too well."

Two months into dating Y/N, and their strict, hockey-obsessed captain had transformed into someone who said things like "the ice understands love" with complete seriousness. The man who once made them repeat a play 47 times now ended practice early because "the lighting at the coffee shop is perfect at 4 PM."

The real shock came during their morning practice. Seungcheol, still typing on his phone with a soft smile, casually announced, "No Sunday practice this week." The rink fell silent. Twelve pairs of eyes stared at their captain as if he'd just declared he was quitting hockey to become a tiger trainer (much to Hoshi's disappointment, he wasn't).

"Why?" Jeonghan dared to ask, though they all knew the answer. Their captain's ears turned that telling shade of red as he mumbled something about Y/N planning something special.

"WHIPPED!" Seungkwan coughed not-so-subtly, earning a half-hearted glare from their leader. The fact that he didn't assign extra laps for the comment only proved the point.

Meanwhile, across town at the physical therapy clinic, Y/N was having a similar effect on her workplace. Her colleagues had grown used to her sudden laughs at hockey memes ("He explains the rules so passionately!"), her lunch breaks extending whenever a certain captain dropped by ("Just five more minutes, he's explaining a new play"), and the way she lit up every time her phone buzzed.

"You actually enjoy his hockey talks," Krissa observed with amazement during their break. "Like, genuinely enjoy them."

Y/N smiled, remembering how Seungcheol's eyes sparkled when she asked about his game strategies. "He's cute when he's excited about it. Besides," she added, checking her phone where Seungcheol had sent a detailed analysis of their morning practice, complete with heart emojis, "his passion is attractive."

Back at the rink, the team was experiencing the full effects of their captain's transformation. Team meetings that once ran for hours now ended with "Any questions? No? Great, I have a date." Their notorious extended cool-downs had shortened considerably because "Y/N found this great lunch spot."

"Remember when he made us sleep at the rink before big games?" Jun whispered to Minghao during water break, watching their captain practically skip while texting.

"Now he leaves early because 'Y/N might get cold waiting,'" Minghao mimicked, though his smile was fond.

The team often found themselves "accidentally" having lunch near Y/N's clinic, watching their captain transform from fierce hockey leader to soft boyfriend in seconds. He'd arrive with her favorite coffee and snacks, his whole demeanor changing at the sight of her smile.

"It's actually kind of beautiful," Seungkwan sniffled, watching through the café window as Seungcheol forgot about his beloved hockey for a full minute, just staring at Y/N like she hung the stars.

"Disgusting," Woozi corrected, but he was already composing what he'd never admit was a love song.

"Remember our mission?" Jeonghan mused, watching their captain laugh at something Y/N said. "Get Seungcheol a girlfriend because we're afraid he's gonna be more strict with practice?"

"Mission accomplished?" Joshua suggested, still filming everything for their future wedding video.

"Better than accomplished," Mingyu grinned, pointing at their captain who was now excitedly explaining a play with sugar packets while Y/N watched with genuine interest. "We got him a girlfriend who actually likes hockey."

"And him," Vernon added importantly.

"The tigers blessed us," Hoshi declared solemnly.

For once, no one argued with the tiger agenda. They were too busy watching their captain being happy, finally having found someone who loved both his passion and him, hockey statistics and all.

- It became their thing - late evening walks after his practice and her clinic hours, usually ending up at the quiet café near the rink. Tonight, Seungcheol watched as Y/N drew little stick figures on a napkin, seriously explaining how his last play could be modified. The café owner, used to their presence, had long stopped asking if they wanted refills, just quietly placing fresh cups of coffee at their table.

"See, if you shift this position slightly," Y/N pointed with her pen, completely focused, "it might give you better coverage on the left side." She looked up to find him staring at her with that soft expression he seemed to reserve just for these moments. "What?"

"Nothing," he smiled, reaching across to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. "Just... do you know you scrunch your nose when you're really focused on explaining something?"

"Says the one who gets excited sparkles in his eyes when talking about new practice drills," she teased back, catching his hand and intertwining their fingers.

These quiet moments were theirs, away from twelve enthusiastic supporters (who they both knew were probably somewhere nearby, with Seungkwan likely crying into Joshua's shoulder about 'true love'). Here, they could just be Seungcheol and Y/N - not the hockey captain and the physical therapist, just two people who found each other through a chaotic intervention and some badly edited dating app photos.

"I never thanked them properly," Y/N mused, playing with his fingers.

"The team? Pretty sure they consider you letting Hoshi explain tiger love compatibility at dinner last week as thanks enough."

She laughed, remembering how seriously Hoshi had presented his PowerPoint while the others tried (failed) to stop him. "Not just for that. For caring about you enough to stage that whole intervention. For being so invested in your happiness that they turned into part-time spies."

"Terrible spies," Seungcheol corrected, thinking of Mingyu's failed attempts at stealth despite his height, and Seungkwan's dramatic crying behind plants. "But yeah, they're... special."

"Your family," she smiled softly.

"Our family now," he corrected, then blushed at his own boldness. "I mean, if you want- they've kind of already adopted you- but no pressure-"

She stopped his rambling with a gentle squeeze of his hand. "I'd love that. Though I should warn you, I might enable your hockey obsession more than they'd like."

"You mean you'll actually listen to my game analysis?"

"I already do that."

"And watch practice sometimes?"

"Already planning to."

"And not run away when I name my hockey sticks?"

"As long as you don't name them all after me," she teased.

His ears turned red. "About that..."

"Cheol! How many?"

"Just the new one! And maybe the backup one. And possibly the special game day one..."

Her laughter filled the café, and Seungcheol thought about how perfectly she fit into his life - into their lives. How she understood not just his passion for hockey, but also his need to take care of twelve chaotic teammates. How she'd become part of their family so naturally, like she was always meant to be there.

"Hey," he said softly, making her look up from where she was still drawing play diagrams. "I love you."

It wasn't the first time he'd said it, but it still made her heart skip just like it did that first time (when he blurted it out after she attended his game and actually understood why a particular play was brilliant).

"I love you too," she smiled, "hockey obsession and all."

"And the twelve-man emotional support team that comes with it?"

"Especially them. Though..." she glanced at the window where several suspicious plants seemed to have gathered, "they might need some work on their stealth skills."

Outside, they could faintly hear Seungkwan's emotional "They're so perfect!" followed by multiple shushes and what sounded like Woozi dragging him away.

Seungcheol just smiled, squeezing her hand. Let them watch. Let them see that sometimes the craziest plans work out perfectly. Let them witness that yes, someone could love both hockey and him, statistics and all.

And if their next date happened to be watching game footage while Y/N pointed out defensive patterns and Seungcheol fell more in love with every observation, well... that was just their kind of perfect.

[In the group chat later that night] Seungkwan: THEY'RE SO IN LOVE 😭 Jeonghan: Mission Accomplished ✓ Hoshi: The tigers blessed this union 🐯 Woozi: Stop watching them on dates Joshua: But the wedding video... DK: They're literally perfect??? Mingyu: Hyung named THREE sticks after her Vernon: Whipped culture Jun: Worth all the spy training Minghao: We did that Wonwoo: Statistically impossible but real Dino: So... Mission Possible: Wedding? All: MISSION POSSIBLE: WEDDING!

[puckinghischier]

Tentastrophe

Nico Hischier x Fem!reader

summary: reader and nico are in a secret relationship while on a camping trip together

notes: hi lovies! i got this request from my dear 🏔️ anon so i had to get right on it!! this was so fun to write and even more fun to play out in my head while i was writing it 🤭. also i had no clue what to name it so i quite literally just made up a word 🫣. i hope you enjoy!! happy reading! 🫶🏼

request: We’re camping and my tent ripped, can I please share yours?

[5.1k]

You hated the outdoors. Truly, you despised being outside.

You hated bugs, you were scared of wild animals, you hated the heat, you hated dirt, grass made you itchy, and you really hate the lack of indoor plumbing.

Literally, how do people enjoy spending a week out in the middle of nowhere, no signal for miles, no air conditioning, and eating the same four types of canned food? Not to mention your dislike of sleeping bags.

Who wants to sleep on a flimsy piece of material on the hard ground for days at a time? It’s just simply not appealing.

You continue to list off the things in your head you hate about camping and the outdoors in general while watching yourself be driven farther and farther away from the city through the windshield of Jack’s SUV.

“Oh c’mon, Y/N, don’t look like someone just kicked a puppy in front of you,” you hear from the front seat, Jack looking at you through his rear-view mirror.

You roll your eyes at him.

“Jack, I’m being taken to a remote location against my will with no access to a bathroom or civilization for seven whole days. At least if someone kicked a puppy in front of me, it’d be over sooner.”

“Woah, so you’re advocating for puppy kickers now, are you?” A new voice rings out, this one belonging to Dawson, who occupies the seat against the window beside of you.

“She’s not advocating for it, Dawson, she’s just saying she’d prefer it to being stuck in the woods with you for a week straight,” Holtzy responds from your other side, having been sandwiched between the two in the backseat of Jack’s car for the hour and a half ride to your unfortunate destination.

Dawson reaches behind your head to smack Alex’s. Alex tries to retaliate, and suddenly you have two hockey players trying to fight each other on either side of your body.

“Hey! Cut it out before you hurt Y/N! Coach needs her to get good footage this weekend,” Luke yells at the two forwards.

“Wow, thanks for showing me where my worth lies, Luke,” you deadpan.

Luke flashes you a grin before turning back around in his seat. “You’re welcome.”

You stick your tongue out at him, knowing he’s just teasing you.

When you applied for a marketing internship at the Prudential Center a year ago, you had no idea that you would become so invested in this world. After the initial six month period of your internship was over, you were making plans to find work elsewhere when you were approached by the team’s GM and asked if you were interested in staying on full time as the new social media manager.

You immediately agreed, knowing you had found your passion with working in sports and wanted to stick with it for as long as you could. It didn’t hurt that you had become such good friends with a handful of the players close to your age, four of which were in the same car as you right now.

You and Jack were the closest, though. The two of you bonded over your shared love of country music, a rare find outside of your southern hometown. You had found other interests in common, too, but becoming each other’s country music concert buddy is to credit for much of your friendship.

You grew close to Luke simply because of your proximity to Jack, but found that he’s become a little brother to you. People always assumed there was more than friendship going on between you and Jack, but both of the Hughes boys had become the brothers you never had, no feelings beyond that ever surfacing.

As your job continued to cause you to spend time with the team, you found yourself growing closer to other players as well.

Nico was another player you found yourself talking to long after your work duties were done for the day. Whether it was chatting before practice, pulling him a little too frequently to do interviews or make videos, or grabbing a bite to eat after practice and games because neither one of you wanted to end your conversations, you found the Swiss captain occupying a large chunk of your time both at work and outside of work.

Which doesn’t make it all that surprising that he asked you to be his girlfriend three months ago.

After a huge win over the Islanders at home, the entire team had decided to go out to celebrate. You had caught a ride with Jack that morning, but when you were searching for him so you could leave, he was nowhere to be found, already gone to whatever bar everyone had agreed on.

Nico had stayed behind to do a few extra post-game interviews, so when you bumped into him outside of the locker rooms on your search for Jack, he offered you a ride. You had mentioned how hungry you were, telling him you should probably go home and grab something to eat and change before getting an uber to the bar, but Nico had pulled into the first late-night diner he saw after you mentioned your lack of eating dinner.

The two of you sat in the 50’s themed diner for hours, ignoring all the calls and texts asking where you were and why you didn’t come out to celebrate. You didn’t even realize how late it was until you received a text from Jack, asking that you call him when you got up so he knew you made it home safe, apologizing for forgetting you at the arena.

Nico walked you up to your apartment after driving you home that night, despite the fact it was after three in the morning and they had a mid-day practice the next day. You still don’t know if it was the high of winning or the late hour, but he decided to kiss you at your doorstep that night. Three days later, he asked you to be his girlfriend because he told you he couldn’t stand not being exclusive with you for a second longer.

No one knew, though. You kept on acting as if nothing had changed at work, and no one caught on otherwise. You decided it was fun to keep it to yourselves, enjoying being each other’s secret. You didn’t know the policy on dating your coworkers, either, so you didn’t want to risk anything by outing the relationship this early.

You felt bad lying and sneaking around Jack and Luke, especially, but you’ll tell them eventually. You enjoyed having no eyes on you, your relationship being simply between you and Nico right now. When you tell your friends and the rest of the team, it’ll be out there for good. Fans will find out, your boss will find out, and then your small bubble of Nico will burst.

That’s another reason you dread this weekend. Not only do you just hate camping and being outside for long periods of time, you’re going to be stuck being around Nico for a week straight with no chance to be his girlfriend instead of his coworker.

The trip is the team’s pre-season bonding activity, so you’re tagging along to capture material for future videos and pictures for the various social media pages and website. You had tried to send one of the other members of your media team, not thrilled at the idea of a camping retreat, but the head coach had requested you, specifically, because of your ability to convince the players to participate in various trends and videos.

You owe some of that to Nico, of course. After the two of you formed a friendship, he started telling his teammates they had to participate in whatever silly tasks you asked of them or he’d start reporting them to coach for making your job harder. Since his forceful request, you rarely had to fight to get any of the players to do the latest trending dance, or answer silly questions as they get on the ice before practice.

Unfortunately for you, this means the higher ups see your success and suddenly you’re volunteered to do things like this. And really, what kind of social media content can you create when you won’t even have cell service?

Tuning back into your surroundings, you notice you’re almost to the campground you’ll call home this week. You were so lost in your own head that you barely even noticed the four (grown) men in this car with you singing loudly to the F.U.N. song from none other than Spongebob Squarepants.

Jack and Luke were duetting the song, Jack taking the sponge’s part and Luke singing Plankton’s lines. Dawson and Alex were simply adding harmonies.

You were in for a long week.

———————————————————————————

“Who in their right mind would put a twenty-four year old teenage girl in charge of putting together her own tent?” you whine out as Curtis walks over to see you trying to read the directions for putting together the tent laid out in front of you.

“Honey, I think you’re a little too old to be calling yourself a teenage girl,” he chuckles as he kneels beside you, taking the instructions out of your hands.

“I’m just a girl, Lazar. I will always be a teenage girl at my core, no matter what age I am. Therefore, I’m a twenty-four year old teenage girl. And I’m extremely incapable of building a fucking tent,” you cry out, crossing your arms and huffing.

Curtis just shakes his head and laughs, grabbing the rods that go inside of the tent to give it structure, putting it together for you.

You sit back and watch, trying to help where you can, but ultimately being reverted back to the role of ‘holding the flashlight for dad’, but instead you’re ‘holding the mallet for Curtis’.

Halfway through putting your tent up, you see Nico start walking in your direction. You admire your boyfriend, his tan skin showing due to his green t-shirt being stuck in the pocket of his athletic shorts instead of on his torso. His black hat sits backwards on his head, hiding what you’re sure is sweaty hair. His favorite pair of sunglasses rest on his nose.

“Already making the guys do your dirty work, how dare you, Y/N,” Nico teases as he stops to stand in front of where you’re sitting on the ground.

“Listen, one perk of being a woman in sports is the fact that I’m always surrounded by men just waiting to save the damsel in distress,” you put your hand across your forehead to hide the sun from your eyes, squinting your eyes as you look up at him.

He rolls his eyes at you, flashing you a smile.

“Need any help, Curtis?” Nico calls out, but keeps his eyes on you.

“I think I’m nearly done, but if you want to start hammering the stakes in the ground that’d be great,” Curtis replies, not even looking up from the tent that had now taken shape.

“Sure thing. The mallet, please,” he reaches his hand out to you.

You hand Nico the mallet, looking up at him with an amused grin. “Get to it, time to do manly stuff and go pound on something .”

You start to stand and Nico shoots his other hand out for you to grab onto, helping you heave yourself off the ground.

Once you’re stood in front of Nico, he pulls your hand toward him so you’re standing dangerously close to him, your chests nearly touching. You look around, making sure no one sees the position the two of you are in right now.

Nico leans down, lips grazing your ear as he whispers “Unless you want me to drag you behind a tree and do extremely un-coworker type things to you with the entire team right here, I suggest you don’t talk about pounding anymore this weekend.”

A shiver makes it way down your spine as Nico steps back, walking over to where Curtis is now standing, turning to face the two of you.

You hope he assumes the redness on your face is because of the warm sun, and not because his captain just threatened to do R rated things to you behind a tree.

Ten minutes later, your tent is fully assembled and you’re blowing up your air mattress with a battery powered pump that’s seen better days.

Jack had laughed at your for bringing an air mattress, claiming it’s not really camping if you don’t sleep in a sleeping bag. You told him you refused to sleep on the ground with just a thin bag underneath you for the whole week. If you had to be here, you were going to make yourself as comfortable as you could.

You even brought a battery powered fan to sit in front of your bed incase you got hot at night, but you learned very quickly that even though it’s hot and humid during the day, the night is chilly and dark.

After everyone had settled in and the sun had set, Timo had managed to start a fire, placing hot dogs on a small grate he placed next to the fire while Jesper worked on opening cans of various types of vegetables to heat along side the sausages.

You laughed to yourself, knowing the team nutritionist would develop an eye twitch seeing what foods will be consumed by the players this week. The amount of sodium and carbs in the containers of food for the week were definitely not in line with the meal plan.

Finding a spot next to Jack, you go sit on one of the various logs around the fire, needing the heat to warm your chilled skin. Music played out of a speaker sitting on the picnic table behind the logs, one of your favorite country songs filling the space.

“Nice choice, it’s one of my favorites,” you nudge Jack’s shoulder as you sat down, assuming he had control of the music.

“Yeah it’s a good one, but don’t look at me. Cap’s the one with the aux right now,” he says, pointing to where Nico is standing by a tree, red solo cup in his hand.

You turn your head and make eye contact with him, his eyes having already found you. The raise of his cup and tilt of his head telling you he played this song specifically for you. Your face heats and you smile at the ground, trying to keep the grin from stretching too wide, not wanting to raise suspicion from the brunette to your right.

“Y’know, I wonder why Cap has any country music in his playlist at all, because last I checked, his phone was full of rap and Swiss music and he told me country was his least favorite genre,” Jack starts, leaning closer so you can hear him over the music and chatter. “But then I remembered, I see you and him talking an awful lot after practice, before practice, and everywhere in-between.” You feel like someone has dumped a bucket of ice water on your head, worried Jack’s figured the two of you out. “You’re not cheating on your music buddy, are you?” he asks, looking at you suspiciously.

Relief washes over you. He just thinks you’re sharing music with Nico. Not that you’re seeing Nico behind everyone’s back.

“I might have mentioned a few good artists to him. But don’t worry, concerts are still reserved for you,” you bump his shoulder again.

“Mhmmm. Must have taken a lot of convincing to make a rap loving Swiss man convert to Zach Bryan,” Jack hums, still looking at you suspiciously.

“Just a few links sent is all,” you tell him, noticing he’s just staring at you. “What?” you ask, leaning back a bit.

“Nothing,” Jack shakes his head, his eyes gleaming with an idea. “Just thinking…have you ever thought about going out with Cap?”

You choke on air. You try to recover with a cough, claiming you swallowed the wrong way. “What, what do you mean?”

“You know, like you and Cap. Going on a date. Dating. I think you two would be good together. You guys already seem friendly enough, and he’s a great guy. Plus, I can see the way you look at him, Y/N. You definitely have a crush on the guy,” Jack teases.

You start laughing. Jack is confused by your reaction, not thinking his suggestion was funny at all, but you can’t stop the laughs from escaping.

“Oh, Jack. You’re funny,” you tell him once you calm yourself down. “That’s nice, but nah. I don’t think Nico and I should go there. Too many things could go wrong, y’know? Plus, who even knows if I’m allowed to date any of you guys. Workplace romances are frowned upon in most jobs, you know.”

“Okay, it wasn’t that comical of a suggestion. I was being serious, I think you guys would be great together. To hell with the rules. I can tell when two people are into each other,” Jack says with a hint of annoyance, not appreciating your little laughing outburst.

A look of surprise makes its way onto your face at his comment that he thinks Nico is into you, too. Maybe the two of you weren’t doing such a good job at acting normal around the team. You succeed at suppressing the laughter this time, figuring a second outburst would really make Jack upset. “Oh, you think he’s into me, do you?”

Jack looks at you like you just asked him if the sky was blue.

“Are you kidding me? Y/N, he literally jumps at the chance to be in any of your tik tok videos and he threatened the whole team so they would quit, and I quote, ‘making your job harder and just fucking do what you ask’ or he’d report us to coach.”

You can’t help but giggle this time, of course knowing all of this, Nico having told you himself after he did it, but you can’t let Jack know that.

“I don’t know, Jack, that doesn’t exactly sound like something he’d do. What does he get out of it? More interruptions during practice? More attention on social media? Doesn’t sound like Nico if you ask me,” you tell him, trying to play dumb.

“Oh, I don’t know, maybe he gets to spend more time with you. He gets on your good side, helps make your job easier while making ours harder. Earns brownie points to butter you up so you say yes to a date one of these days,” Jack leans his head towards yours, looking up at you like he’s just proven his point.

You steal a glance over at Nico, his head cocked, silently asking what you and Jack are talking about. You shake your head with a smile, telling him its unimportant with the roll of your eyes.

“I don’t know, Jack. We’ll see, I guess,” you sing song, earning a sigh from the boy to your right.

“You’re hopeless, both of you. I need another beer,” he gets up, leaving you on the bench by yourself, chuckling at just how right your best friend is.

After all of the burnt hot dogs and lukewarm veggies were eaten, it was time to for everyone to retire to their tents.

All of the players had to double up on tents, you and the coach being the only two people with their own. The players that were sharing tents on this trip would be sharing hotel rooms all season, so the bonding began with them being able to exist in the same space for an extended period of time.

Your tent sat about 50 feet from Jack and Luke’s. Nico’s tent was in the row of tents in front of yours, three tents separating the two of you.

You quickly made your way to your own tent and started getting ready for bed. Not being able to wash your face or do you proper skincare routine, you settled for brushing your teeth with a warm bottle of water and applying lotion to your face before crawling into your make-shift bed for the week. You hadn’t packed nearly enough blankets, seeing as you assumed it would be warm inside your tent, but you were chilled to the bone. You kept your sweatshirt on, opting for a pair of sweatpants instead of the skimpy sleeping shorts you brought.

You settled into your bed, switching off the small lantern you had been provided.

You laid there for what felt like ages trying to fall asleep. Every little snap of a twig or rustle of leaves made you scared a bear was about to claw its way through your tent.

You thought you had imagined it at first, assuming the wind was blowing and causing your tent to slightly ruffle in the wind. But when it happened a second time, this time the sound of something fiddling with the zipper of your tent following the ruffling, you were starting to panic.

You sat up, pulling the blanket to your chin as you saw a hand push on the door of your tent, a quiet yelp making its way out of you.

“Shhh, it’s just me, let me in,” you hear the familiar, accented voice of your boyfriend ring out, huffing while walking over and unzipping your tent just enough for him to slip through.

You walk back over to your air mattress, turning on the small lantern, looking at Nico standing in the middle of your tent. He was wearing a tan sherpa fleece with plaid pajama bottoms. He had to hunch over slightly, his height being too tall for your small tent.

“What the hell are you doing in here? You scared the hell out of me, you know that?” you whisper yelled at him, careful to not raise your voice too high as to not wake any of his teammates.

“My tent ripped, can I please share yours?” Nico asks with a smirk on his face.

“Oh, yeah? If your tent ripped then where’s Jesper sleeping, huh?” you raise your eyebrow and cross your arms.

“I just left him to fend for himself. Didn’t exactly want to invite him to sleep in here with us. Never know what he might see,” he walks towards you, placing his arms around your waist and pulling you close to him.

He looks down at you, your position mirroring earlier when this exact tent was being assembled, but you had no fear of anyone seeing you now.

“Hi, Schatz.”

You giggle up at him, unraveling your arms and placing them on his shoulders. “Hi Neeks.”

“I’ve been waiting all day to do this,” he mumbles before bringing his face down to yours.

You lean up on your tip toes to meet his lips, sighing contently into the kiss.

Nico pulls you closer, no space left between your bodies as his sucks your bottom lip into his mouth. You tangle your fingers in his hair, pushing against him into the kiss.

His tongue swipes across your lips, asking for entrance, and who are you to deny his wish? His tongue slips into your mouth, effectively deepening the kiss.

Nico walks you backwards until you plop down onto your air mattress, bringing his knee to rest in-between your legs, his forearms on either side of your head to support his weight.

You tug on his hair slightly, earning a groan in response. He starts grinding his pelvis against your thigh, which was your sign to stop this before it got too out of hand.

You pull back, pushing him up off of you slightly. He looks down at you with blown pupils and swollen lips. “Alright, tiger, slow down. We’re not having sex with several tents full of your entire team a few feet away.”

Nico deflates and brings his forehead to rest against your shoulder. “You couldn’t have told me that before I got a stiffie?”

“Sorry, shouldn’t have let yourself get so worked up. Should’ve known I wasn’t going to go there with this many people around,” you laugh at his whiney tone.

He rolls off of you onto his back, slinging his arm over his eyes.

“What are you doing? Quit being so dramatic,” you roll your eyes, trying to grab his arm and remove it from his face.

“Stop, trying to think of sad puppies to make my boner go away,” he swats your hand off of his arm.

You bust out laughing for the second time tonight, but this time you throw a hand over your mouth to stop the noise. The conversation about puppies in the car on the way here earlier making its way to your mind, making you laugh even harder.

“Okay, I think I’m good now,” Nico finally says, sitting up.

“Good. Don’t even think about getting handsy, either. This,” you gesture between you and Nico, “is not happening tonight. Or any night this week, for that matter.”

“Got it. You don’t want any of my teammates to hear you scream my name while my tongue is ins-“ you slap a hand over Nico’s mouth, not letting him finish that sentence.

His eyes shine with amusement at you, seeing your own wide in surprise. “Can I trust you to take my hand off of your mouth?” you ask him.

Nico shakes his head, but not before he darts his tongue out and licks a stripe up the palm of your hand, causing it to fly off of his mouth.

“Okay, you’re disgusting,” you scold him, wiping you hand on the blanket you’re both sitting on top of.

Nico just laughs at you in response, finding your annoyed expression amusing.

“C’mon, let’s go to bed. I’m already sick of you and the week hasn’t even started yet,” you tell him, pulling the blanket back so you can settle under it.

Nico follows your lead and places himself under the blanket at well, pulling your body close to his.

You lay your head on one end of your pillow while Nico places his on the other end, not having brought his own from his tent. The two of you just lay there facing each other for awhile before you remember to reach over and turn off the lantern once again.

You’re appreciative of the new warmth Nico brings to your bed, finally feeling yourself get sleepy.

“Wait, how are you going to know when to wake up before everyone else and go back to your tent?” you ask him, knowing his phone was in his vehicle, none of the players allowed their devices with them. You and coach were the only ones with phone privileges this week, even though they didn’t even work out here.

“Don’t worry, I will. First time I wake up I’ll sneak out, don’t worry,” he assures you, kissing you on the forehead before pulling your body flush to his, resting his chin on the top of your head.

Neither one of you must have woken up at all during the night, though, because when you wake up the next morning to the screams of “I knew it! I knew they were into each other! I told you so!” from your best friend as he stood inside your tent at the end of your bed with not only Luke, but with half of the team standing outside the wide open door of your tent, you were confused until you felt the weight of a body against yours. You open your eyes to see Nico’s scrunched face, the noise waking him up as well.

You both roll over and open your eyes, noticing your audience.

“I called it! I knew there was something going on here! How long have you two been together?” Jack bombards the two of you with questions despite you having literally just woke up.

“Get the hell out of this tent before I get coach to make everyone run three miles today,” Nico grumbles, his voice gravely from the early hour.

“No way, we need an explanation,” Dawson speaks this time, his expression matching Jack’s pleased one.

“You’ll get your explanation, but for right now, get out. Let us actually wake up without fifty people in our fucking tent. Now go, get out,” Nico pulls you closer to him, hiding your face in his chest and slinging a leg over your own.

“But-“ Jack starts again, but Nico removes an arm from around you and points at the door, “OUT!” he says sternly, his captain voice making an appearance.

The group of men start grumbling, but ultimately leaving your tent, zipping your door back up so you and Nico could have a bit of privacy again.

“Nico, you didn’t wake up,” you say, your voice muffled because of how close he’s holding you to his body.

“Sorry, Schatz. Was sleeping too good, I guess. Always happens when I’m sleeping with you. You’re like my own personal melatonin.”

You chuckle at him, not really mad that everyone found out, just wishing they hadn’t found you asleep together on a tiny air mattress.

“At least the boys know now. Now I don’t have to keep sneaking around at practice. I can stare at your ass loud and proud now,” Nico says, detaching himself from you and rolling over onto his back, rubbing his eyes.

You reach over and hit him in the chest. “This doesn’t give you permission to say innapropriate things to me while we’re at work.”

He rolls his head to look over at you, “Wouldn’t dream of it,” he smiles innocently, causing your to roll your own eyes and sigh at him.

“Hey! You guys better not be having sex in there! I’m implementing a no bone zone when I’m within a hundred feet of you two! Get your asses out here and get to explaining!” you heard Jack shout once again, beating his fist on the side of the tent.

You bring your hands up to cover your face, embarrassment flooding your veins.

“Jack! Suit up, you’re coming with me on a little run,” you hear coach shout, earning a “Shit, Nico this is your fault!” from Jack.

You burst into a fit of giggles.

You can’t help but feel like a weight has been lifted off of your chest, not having to lie to some of your closest friends anymore. You also foresee your week of no time with Nico changing slightly, figuring Jesper will be down a roommate for the remainder of the week.

Nothing, though, not even sharing a tent with Nico, or sneaking off to find open areas to gaze at the stars at night, could make you like camping.

You almost change your mind the night Nico takes you to a clearing, laying a blanket on the soft grass to stare up at the sky before he gifts you a necklace with his initial on it, the engraving on the back echoing the small “I love you” he whispers in your ear as he clasps the jewelry onto your neck.

You almost thought you liked camping then, until you walked back to you tent to find Nico had left it unzipped and a possum had made a home in the corner, hissing at him as you screamed loud enough to wake the whole team.

Yeah, you hate camping.

[waitingonher]

ELECTRIC TOUCH — [jason grace dating headcanons]

author's note: i need 2024 to be THE year. 2023 did me soooo dirty. im praying

dating JASON GRACE would be like dating someone from a regency era romance novel…he’s just SUCH a hopeless romantic but he would rather die than admit it.

in the initial first few weeks of dating, jason was sosososooooo shy about pda/physical touch. it’s not that he was uncomfortable, he LOVES physical touch, but he had just gone so long without it that he wasn’t used to it. but eventually, he warms up to it…and now he can’t go without having at least one part of him touching you 😭 

when it came to things like hugs, kisses, handholding, etc. jason would always wait for you to initiate it because he was so anxious about making you uncomfortable ?? fjsldfjs 

but when you communicated that he didn’t need to ask/wait for you all the time, jason started initiating things more. even still, he occasionally gets nervous to even hold your hand? like wdym you’ve been dating for over six months and you still get nervous doing simple couple things 😭 it’s very endearing though 

chivalry is NOT dead,, and it’s because of jason LMAO. he’s the type to swap shoes with you even though you’re wearing heels that are 3x too small for him, but hey, at least your feet don’t hurt anymore!

jason’s also hellbent on carrying things for you, opening doors for you, pulling out/pushing in chairs for you, etc… GOD HE’S SO CUTE. 

since dating him, you don’t think you’ve ever touched a single door or car handle when he’s with you. 

jason is NOT afraid to advocate or stand up for you, especially if you’re more on the quiet & non-confrontational side. if you’re in a group setting and someone interrupts you, he’s making sure you get your chance to say what you wanted to say. and he doesn’t do it in a way that leaves you embarrassed, he’s very very classy with it! 

if you’re a big music person, jason will literally learn your favorite artist’s entire discography so you guys have another thing to talk about. 

you guys also have a shared playlist of “your songs” and he’s so serious about it 😭 if jason hears a song that even remotely reminds him of you, he’s going to the ends of the earth to figure out what it’s called. 

rip to anyone around him if shazam doesn’t work! he’s gonna send voice messages to your big group chat humming the tune, but he’s so tone deaf that no one knows the song…and his search history is just variations of “song that goes du du ooh du ooh du du ooh” a for effort though babes…

jason’s love languages are definitely acts of service and quality time. over the years and throughout the many battles he’s fought, he’s come to realize that all he wants to do when he comes home is just spend time with his loved ones. 

after a busy day, you’ll come home to find your laundry folded, bed sheets washed & freshly made, along with a sweet little note from jason <3 

your guys’ thing are writing notes to each other. considering his and your busy schedule, you’ll write and leave tiny notes around the house for each other to find. it’s one of the many reasons why jason gets up in the morning. 

he loves coming home to you after a long day to simply melt in your arms. there’s just something so soothing about cuddling with you after a busy day. 

it does not matter where you are, you guys could literally be cleaning the camp toilets and he’d still be able to find the fun in it. you’re his home, and he’d follow you wherever you go. 

if you play sports, you already know he’s showing up to ALL your games. it doesn’t matter if it’s pouring rain or if it’s hours away, he’s absolutely determined to show his support. jason even makes posters with your jersey number and when you have big tournaments he’ll show up with posters of your face 😭 the refs are SO tired of jason help

i feel like if he really tried, jason would be a good cook. 

one day you sent him a recipe you saw online saying you wanted to make it with him, but then he decided to make it himself to surprise you. and it was actually so good??? 

JASON IN A “KISS THE COOK” APRON OMFG. that’s what you got him for his birthday and every single time without fail, he’ll wear it when he’s cooking. 

one of his hidden talents is that he’s super good at origami. he originally picked it up because he heard it was a good stress reliever, but now he also does it for you <3 

he loves your reaction when he gives you little paper rings or an origami version of your favorite animal! 

this guy DREAMS of domesticity. he’s always been the type to date to marry, and that’s just what he intends to do with you! even though you guys are still young, he’s been planning your proposal sfjfls

tell me why he already knows what kind of ring he wants to get you… omg. 

he really wants to just settle down with you in new rome. but honestly, he’s willing to do anything as long as you’re at his side. 

expect flowers from jason at least once a month! he even keeps one flower so he knows when it’s time to get you a new bouquet. and if he’s away, he’ll get one of his friends to deliver it! 

i have this headcanon that the aphrodite cabin teams up with the hephaestus cabin to throw a really elaborate party, essentially like prom. anyways, jason would go all out for your promposal jfdsls i feel like he would either do a super funny poster/proposal like y’know that one guy who did that medieval promposal 😭 yeah well jason would do something like that but like...more roman... LMFAO him pulling up to your place in a chariot 

or he would do something super super intricate and planned out…like a fancy picnic and then he’d have the fauns arrange fireflies to spell out “prom?” when it’s dark out. 

ugh! jason grace the man that you are… <3 best bf ever,, i can confirm btw

[number1greedlingfan]

Headcanons that are meaningless to everyone but me (or extremely niche inside jokes formed by my friend group)

Hawkeye finds pleasantries, mostly "hello"s and "goodbye"s, pointless and kind of annoying. She'll sometimes engage in them in person but never over the phone. She often hangs up while the other person is mid "bye".

Havoc's "tried and true" opener on dates is that he prefers rainy weather because he, quote, "loves to curl up by the window with a good book and some tea". This is not only a bold-faced lie, but it hasn't helped him get past the first date so it's not any more effective than his other lines.

Fuery pulls more women than Havoc does (not that there was any competition lmao) but he is somehow unaware of this.

Mustang's singular hobby that he does purely for fun is building model ships. His only social interaction is with his coworkers because he does not have any other friends.

Ed thinks Winry is cooped up in her shop all day and all night but that's literally only when he shows up because he DOES IT UNANNOUNCED!! Winry has a thriving social life both in Resembool and Rush Valley. She knows every single person in Resembool and keeps tabs on the neighbors. She's invited to dinners and group outings all the time. People mourned when she moved to RV. Within a month of working at Garfiel's, she'd already met most of the people on the street and she remembers most of their names.

Because of her interests, it's often assumed that Winry is a "not like other girls" type but she is the exact opposite. If you say a single misogynistic thing about other girls' interests (like astrology or pop music) on a first date she is getting up and leaving.

Ling is hypermobile and can bend his hands like this️ ⬇️ as well as do things like back bends and pulling his shoulders out of their sockets. When he was younger he would go up to literally anyone (family members, visiting officials, perfect strangers) and ask if they wanted to see him pull his shoulder out and then not wait for an answer.

Ling's favorite fruit is mango. When he was seven he refused to eat anything but that and had so many that he threw up at a family function. (Mangos were ruined for him for two years.)

Lan Fan does not get sick often but when she does It's Bad and she's taken out for a week or more. When she was younger and delirious with fever, she started distressedly mumbling that she was turning into a cookie. Nothing would convince her otherwise (Fu tried everything). In the end, they had to get Ling to help and he calmed her down in seconds by saying "there are no crumbs so I think you're probably okay".

This is a small one: Lan Fan is on the ace spectrum.

When Mei cooks for other people she makes it as cute as humanly possible. Everything that can have a smiley face or heart on it will. Side note, Al and Mei are 100% a couple that cooks together.

Mei is a little bit fujopilled. You understand.

While he seems shady as hell, Greed's rap sheet is actually pathetically small. The worst crime he's ever committed is, of course, the single instance of kidnapping that we saw on screen.

Greed doesn't understand electricity. He thinks it's powered by electric eels ("eelectricity") and has numerous drawings in his diaries theorizing on the mechanics of these machines. Ex: A generator that has an eel tank with a water wheel inside of it. The drawing is accented with large arrows and question marks and "HOW DOES IT WORK"s. That being said! He's not stupid in all academics. Give this guy some numbers and put it in a financial context and he can calculate anything.

Greed likes the "finer things" but he also has bad taste and sometimes these clash horribly. Is the furniture in his home expensive? Yes. Does any of it match in any conceivable way? Fuck no. Also that nice walnut hutch that cost 1.5K is used solely to display his novelty bong collection.

Heinkel and Darius only became close and discovered the other was gay because of the Camping Trip. So,

[felassan]

Some snippets from DA dev Luke Barrett on the unofficial BioWare forum, cut for length:

DA:I -

User: "I am still convinced that Bioware cut the healing spells and went with barriers instead because of the Multiplayer." Luke Barrett: I can't speak to any other games directly but I can give a bit of historic context for DAI. The game was initially a more dungeon/linear delving - see how far you can get - experience and there was no barrier of any kind. As a side note: healing has always been a hot topic in design because as soon as you include it there are many other conceits you now need take into consideration for the gameplay - one of which I will call 'the Anders problem'. Anyway, as DAI got the date moved and shifted more into the pseudo-openworld the concept of attrition (see how far you can get before having to return to camp) became less relevant and we needed to help the Players have more moment-to-moment agency around their survival. Unfortunately for various reasons (one of which is the sad reality of designing a game with a shifting timeline) the healing couldn't be re-added so we ended up with more of a mitigation strategy in the barrier system. It went through a lot of iterations but eventually landed on what it shipped with which I would call... acceptable (but just barely). Now, I will concede that a part of the reason it didn't return after that shift was an aversion to holy trinity gameplay specifically for MP but it wasn't the core reason. As a side story, trying to balance the game (as that was my job on DAI - and yes, it could be much better haha) we had to all but force Players to take barrier. It is intentionally the first skill in the first tree for the Mage and all the autolevel (I also handled that) is designed to get it right away." [source]

User: "Merry Christmas Luke! Sooo what was the hardest class you had to balance? [DA:I]" Luke Barrett: "I feel like anyone who was around for the post-launch content will already know the answer to this as it was the bane of my existence when I got put exclusively on MP after launch but the Knight-Enchanter barrier absorbing was a pain. Stuff like that is very challenging to feel good without being broken as they are relative to damage so scaling is fairly open-ended. Too little and the casual players won't get use out of it, too much and the character builders will be wildly OP. We actually had a 'no nerfing' guideline for the SP side so it was a hard battle to fix that silly thing 🙃." [source]

"As a fun fact, I did all the logic for autolevel on DAI and the guideline I was given was literally "make functional builds, but don't make something optimal that you'd play"." [source]

DA:TV -

User: "If you can, say thanks to the people making the no die option possible." Luke Barrett: "Done! My team handles this stuff so I let them know 😊" [source]

"Comically, I designed the majority of the items and skills and I am still finding it fun making awesome builds (been almost entirely doing playthroughs lately" [source]

"Was really important to the team that everyone could play the way that felt best to them." [source]

"Each specialization has a focus around a few specific mechanics, some of which are the weapons or damage types but you can go off script and make it work for sure (this was intentional in the designs)." [source]

"I designed all the skills and so they're each enjoyable to me to some extent. I have been playing through the game over and over the last couple months for balance purposes so I've played them all fairly extensively." [source]

User: "Necrotic sounds like it could be either Spirit or Nature." User: "For Rogue, it replace "poison". For Mage, it replace spirit (Spirit bomb). For Warrior, it's more spirit (especially Reaper), but some skills could work as poison too. So basically they merged spirit and nature." Luke Barrett: "Thats pretty close to spot on. They were actually heavily iterated on throughout development - I can't (at least currently) go into specifics as to why though." [source]

"the target for the progression vision is that you can make a viable build out of almost** any aspect of the gameplay." [source]

"As for timelines, We started DA4 in October of 2015 roughly. The entire team was moved to MEA for about 3-4 months to help it ship and I also spent all of 3 weeks helping out on Anthem. But otherwise I've been on some incarnation of DA4 for about 9 years now - pretty ready for it to release 😅." [source]

"yes, years of working on the same thing can cause some burnout but I've played through the full game probably about 8 times in the last few months and it's still fun (though some of the specific levels that haven't changed in a long time I've done 50+ times easily and I could do without ever seeing them again 😂)." [source]

User: "I do kind of feel that at this point the DA team has put so much work into creating and improving their tools and learning the ins and outs of Frostbite [...] But who knows what the devs in the trenches really feel" Luke Barrett: "I will say it does some things very well and some things poorly, relative to other engines. Personally I really enjoy Frostbite but I've been using it since 2012. In an ideal world, many engines would be viable and developers would make games suited to the strengths of a specific engine." [source]

User: "Since this game is much more stat heavy than prior titles, specifically when it comes to skills and gear, there's likely a need for some balance changes to be made post-launch. Does the game being playable completely offline hinder the data capture side for your team (in terms of analytics), or is this a non-factor?" Luke Barrett: "Generally speaking, most people leave data analytics on so we get more than enough data coming in. Additionally, I'll personally be watching several channels for things that are underperforming (relatively speaking) and not have to nerf anything. The rpg side is vast though and I'm sure people will find OP combinations/synergies that might need 'adjustments' but as long as it's fun and not an "I win" button that trivializes combat I'm pretty cool with it." [source]

Luke Barrett: "I can safely say there are many builds for each class that will feel very powerful if you're not on the highest difficulty 😉. What I'm really excited for is when the guides comes out that show people the fastest way to get some of the uniques that unlock 'special' gameplay 😊. Let's just say I love the feeling of rushing to Patches in DS1 and kicking him off the bridge for the Crescent Axe (iykyk)." [source] User: "Speaking of guides. Will there be a guidebook like there was for DAI? " Luke Barrett: "Not that I'm aware of but I'm happy to help feed info to somewhere like fextralife or the dragon age wiki after a week or so to help with those pursuits. Have to leave some time for exploration and discovery before the optimizers streamline the experience 😉" [source]

"Effectively, at least until the game launches (and likely a week or so after), you won't get anything interesting out of any of the devs save Mike Gamble or John Epler. Longer term I hope to be very active, at least for build mechanics and all the combat/rpg nuts and bolts conversations." [source]

"I started "da4" in October 2015 and so after 9 years of effort (minus 3 months on Andromeda) I'm quite excited for tomorrow and the launch week. I don't know if I'd say nervous, I feel pretty confident in the product, but definitely that eager kid before Christmas feeling 😊" [source]

"As the person who did all the balance, I will say that if you are comprehending how to make a cohesive build and understand the combat mechanics, you should play on Underdog. One of the downsides to having a lot of power growth vectors is the difference between people who engage vs those that don't becomes a chasm quite quickly. If you start blowing enemies up rapidly, turn up the difficulty (or play on nightmare where that will not be the case) - basically if it ever feels super easy or like enemies are health sponges you're probably on the wrong setting for your skill level. The custom difficulty settings are there to make the gameplay enjoyable (for whatever that means to you)." [source]

"As a tip from me, the balance is subtly tipped in the players favor until the last fight of the 3rd combat mission. Be warned if it's feeling too easy you may want to wait until after that to decide." [source]

[on DA MP] Luke Barrett: "It was actually pretty fun but very much not what most people wanted us to make (including internally). Also we had, let's say, limited staff who had a passion and background in MP so it was definitely the right call to go SP only. Now, it would have been nice had we just started that way but so it goes sometimes." [source] User: "You still play it yourself from time to time (DA MP), or have you left it be?" Luke Barrett: "After playing variations of DA4 for so many years (9!!!) it's hard to go back to anything with DAI controls/gameplay speed. Even the initial Joplin prototypes I was doing were much more snappy/twitchy - for everything good about DAI the combat was definitely in the middle of two different styles." [source]

[on aiming bows] "we actually used to have separate buttons for ADS and ranged attack but it was wildly overloading the controller. These RPG games need controllers with at least 2 more buttons (fingers crossed for the next gen)" [source]

User: "After the last few games, I'm really surprised by the current skill... tree?" Luke Barrett: "I call it a skill graph - aside from the beginning where you have 3 choices the entirety of it is 2 choice splits and it'll essentially make a build for you. Just go a little at a time and aim for whatever specialization seems most fun to you 😄" [source]

"Loot is not random so theoretically guides with drop locations should appear pretty soon." [source]

"Yep, Spellblade is the only spec that directly impacts fire damage but you can get benefits from most of them and still go fire. As for the specs, yes it would have been nice to support all of them but just wasn't in scope unfortunately. Mage has Mourn-Watch, Shadow Dragons, and Antivan Crows specializations - only the Rogue has a Veiljumper one. Deathcaller left side you can go beam based and use a Fire weapon. Evoker you'd likely need to do a hybrid ice/fire build." [source]

User: "Bit of a side question, but for those who intend to make more characters, is BioWare considering upping the amount of playable character slots you can have (currently at 3)? Or is there a hardware restriction here given the game is offline playable?" Luke Barrett: "Don't quote me as I don't handle the technical side of this but my understanding is we have to allocate a specific amount of HD space on the consoles so we basically have to pick a limit, relative to our save file sizes, and then divide that by number of careers. I'll inquire if this is something we can increase with an optional download or something but I suspect consoles are stuck that way, unfortunately." [source]

[on Patch 1] "It's been awhile since I actually did the content for this patch so I'd have to check but I have a pretty anti-nerf policy for SP games. I know I fixed up a couple enemies that weren't as hard as they were supposed to be and definitely boosted a bunch of synergistic things though. I'll take a look tomorrow but for those that don't know, the turnaround time on these things is about a month of it's not an emergency due to certification process with consoles. Longer term my goal is to keep an eye in telemetry of any underused abilities and items (or enemies with too many kills under their belt) and audit them just to double check if they need a boost or if people just haven't figured them out yet 😉." [source]

"The equippable items are all predetermined with a minor exception*. Some items are class specific (all the weapons, a small amount of armors and accessories, 2 runes) so when you play a different class you'll see your classes 'version' of that item. Things that are random (from a table/pool) are valuables. Exception: Near the very end of the game we do a few checks on what equipment you haven't acquired. A bunch of those final drops, and inventory on the final merchant, simply find stuff you don't have and give it to you. That's basically the only major RNG we have with loot. If you notice even 99% of the skills and item mods employ an effect after a condition is met X times rather than a more traditional 'proc chance'." [source]

[on modding] "Once this starts to pick up, feel free to PM me if anyone needs help 'finding' assets or has questions about how one might mod something. We don't officially support mods buuuuut we don't have any kind of anti-modding stance either" [source]

"To give the high level gist of the resource economy: - each class starts off with minimal ability usage, this is intentional to force people to learn the other combat mechanics as they're a necessary skill and it's easy to lean on a crutch like ability spam and kiting - abilities are designed to feel powerful on use, thus they all have a decent cost and can't be spammed* - weapon attacks generate your resource - in the bottom right of the center skills area is a node to make each class's resource easier to manage - halfway down all starting segments (N, SW, SE) there is always a node that boosts generation - there are +max nodes on all sides of the skill graph for each class, this is particularly important for the Mage as they start each fight at max - each class can build into being ability focused but starts intentionally rounded - loastly, the first ability is always a resource spender and 1 or 2 of the next available ones will be cooldown gated. It is recommended to have at least one cooldown based ability slotted" [source]

"So loosely the rogue momentum works like this: - each ability costs 50 momentum - hitting enemies generates ~2 momentum per hit (base), you get extra for bow weakpoints - when you are directly hit, you lose 15% of your current momentum, this means the more you hold the more you will lose (this loss has a small cooldown so you don't lose a whole bar when you get hit rapidly) - momentum carries forward between combats (compared to warrior rage which decays when out of combat) If youre having issues, make sure you get that skill in the middle section that reduces momentum loss when hit. As a helpful tip, the Quicken buff generates small amounts of momentum each second so it's a good way to get more if you're having issues." [source]

"I highly recommend using the belt that grants Quicken early game until you can generate momentum faster yourself. And yes, the time dilation affects everything in the world except the Player so all your buffs and things still tick at normal speed" [source]

User: "If I knock an enemy off an edge, if they were supposed to drop something will it appear on the edge, or is it lost for good?" Luke Barrett: "It should appear on the ledge. I will say the 'real' loot from enemy drops are all hand placed. The actual random stuff is just valuables and materials." [source]

" The way it actually works is very complicated with a lot of necessary exceptions but loosely - each ability has a base damage and ones that hit multiple times have an offset multiplier. - That value is multiplied by the sum of all your stat bonuses, conditional bonuses, resist and layer modifiers. - We then subtract enemy defense and multiply by 1-resist (with penetration being calculated here). - this new damage then gets multiplied by 1+crit+weakpointpoint (so those bonuses always feel meaty) and then multiplied by a random number between .95 and 1.05 just to give a little range to the floaties (basically just a presentation thing) - we then multiply again for buffs and debuffs so they, again, always feel meaningful - lastly, we take all added damage and add it flat on top" [source]

"Specific enhancements make enemies immune to the matching affliction. For example, Fire Enchanted enemies are immune to burning. Juggernaut enemies are immune to being staggered but otherwise it should work in everything." [source]

[randoimago]

Hi there! Could you please do headcanons on Astarion, Karlach, Will and Hanson with a significant other who tries to hide their accent, but it slips through every once in a while? Thank you!!

Hearing Their S/O's Accent That's Kept Secret

Fandom: Baldur's Gate 3

Character(s): Astarion, Karlack, Halsin, Wyll

Type of Request: Headcanons

Note(s): I'm assuming autocorrect got you with Wyll and Halsin (I was so confused as to who Hanson is in BG3 before my Int check succeeded and I realized who you meant)

Astarion

Kind of side eyes you a bit when he hears your little slip up. It definitely makes him curious. At first, he thought that maybe your mouth was running faster than your brain and that was why you said something a bit differently.

Except the more he listened, the more he could hear the subtle differences in your pronunciation, and it just causes a smug, knowing smile to cross his face. Doesn't bring it up right away since you all have your secrets.

You can bet that if he hears you scolding him or something because he teased or mentioned killing someone, then he'll gladly bring up your accent. He does a ridiculous mimicry of it and waits to see how you react to the fact he figured out the obvious secret you were trying to keep.

Astarion doesn't really care too much about your accent. It was fun for a bit trying to figure it out, but now he just wants to hear you talk to him in your normal voice. Let him hear all the different twangs or different phrases you use cause of the dialect. He won't tease you about it, much.

Halsin

Smiles a tad when he hears you pronounce something just a bit off. He can't help but step in and correct you, or at least say it the way that this region says it.

Rather it embarrasses you or not, Halsin does apologize for the correction, but he figured it'd be good to know how it's pronounced by others just so you know why everyone else is speaking silly.

He's also one that would like to hear you talk in your true tone but understands if you're hiding it for one reason or another. Just know that whenever you're comfortable to speak, that he'll always be happy to listen.

And if you'd like to hear how something is supposed to be pronounced (or typically pronounced in the region) then he'll tell you and smile a bit if you go on a tangent about why it's pronounced a certain way that makes no sense to you.

Karlach

She noticed something was a tad off with how you spoke and she'll pull you aside and ask about it. If you do tell her about your hidden accent, then she gets so excited because she knew your pronunciation was a bit different.

Finds it a tad silly to keep your accent secretive. I mean, you travel with her and she's loud and proud about the way she talks. And you also know Astarion, someone that speaks much differently from her. And then there's Lae'zel... Don't even get her started on Withers!

I mean, look, she gets being self-conscious and having those bad thoughts about yourself, she gets them a lot with how her heart is. But with the group of weirdos that you all are, she hopes that you can learn to be proud of how you speak and where you came from.

So, until you're proud to speak with your normal voice, she's going to be like a little kid and ask you how you pronounce different things. You can bet that she wants to hear you mimicking her voice in your cute accent. Doesn't even care the context or how you say it, she wants to hear you attempt to mimic her voice.

Wyll

He's pretty well traveled so when he hears your little slip up, he knows that it's less of a stumbling of words and more that it is a dialect. He does try to piece where it's from, but it'll take him a few more times of hearing your accent slip out.

When he does piece it together, he gets pretty excited and will approach you in camp about it. He just asks if you're from that specific area and that's the cause of the accent or because you had a parent that spoke that way. Either way, he's curious and wants to hear more of it.

Wyll has hid his birthright from many people, so he understands if you wanted to hide your accent for similar reasons. Or if it was just being embarrassed of how you talk. Either way, he won't pressure or force you to speak if it bothers you.

Does try to keep an ear out for more of your slip ups. Even if you're embarrassed about them, he enjoys getting the few glimpses of your accent as he can. Wyll is also always happy to hand out compliments to you with how your voice is a perfect melody to him.

[somewhereincairparavel]

🐚 Daughter of Neptune headcanons list... 🌊 part three

Note: ahhh finally done with this unexpected series. Also, this is twice as long as the previous two parts, I got soo carried away haha, well you can't blame me, writing is so fun! This is the last part of this headcanon series, I had so much fun writing this?? Even though I had like a mini writer's block at first, I swear I started typing this part out having no idea what I was doing, but it all turned out better than I expected. This part is not just Jason x reader but it also includes so much platonic stuff with the others of the seven + Reyna + Nico. It's just so fluffy omgg. Happy reading! Thank you sm for all the notes you guys have given me for the previous two parts! Tell me if you guys enjoyed it, do you think I should consider writing more of these headcanon stuff in the future?

Part one: https://www.tumblr.com/somewhereinhogsmeade/746404816602972160/daughter-of-neptune-headcanons?source=share

Part two: https://www.tumblr.com/somewhereinhogsmeade/746489087922520064/daughter-of-neptune-headcanons-list-part-two?source=share

•After Jason woke up on the bus, he'd actually remember your eyes and voice VERY clearly. Because those were his two favorite things about you. But Hera had whacked him on the head pretty badly, so he couldn't remember ALL the details about you in the beginning, like Percy did. (I honestly wanted to make him remember you fully even after Hera wiped his memory off, but that would be too similar to Percy and Annabeth lol so I didn't want it to be cliche sorry)

•Now you guys may be wondering, what about Piper and Jason? Okay Piper would admit her feelings for him, but Jason would turn her down, albeit politely though, because it felt utterly wrong. He knew about this special person in his forgotten life, even though her figure was wispy and blurry. He never had any attraction towards Piper, she was a good friend, sure, and it didn't matter how pretty people thought Piper was, because those black Obsidian eyes of the mystery girl he was so familiar with, was alone prettier by every means. (We all love a loyal whipped Jason who thinks that a pair of eyes are more beautiful than a daughter of Aphrodite)

•He knew you were special. He knew that he didn't belong there, in the wilderness school. He knew that he was miles away from home. His real home. But the name of that home never came to him. •the moment he looked at his SPQR tattoo, though, it would bring him vigorous flashes of you and him sparring in a training room.

•Aeolus the wind god, would remind Jason of the time you and him stayed at his palace to slay Trojan the sea monster. Well, of course you went, how can you go to slay a sea monster without taking a sea child with you? Right? That was the last quest you and Jason went on before he disappeared.

Aeolus would trigger that one memory in Jason. Thank the gods for Aeolus. That one memory trigger is what made everything gush back to Jason like a tide.

•He’d remember your name, finally. His Best friend. His crush. His maybe girlfriend. He'd remember his friends from his home. Camp Jupiter. Gosh. He felt such a burst of energy simply by saying that name. Now, he felt homesick.

So you could imagine the excitement he felt, when Leo was building the argo ii. He'd practically gush about you to Leo, and even Piper would be super cool with it. Over the course of the months, Piper realized that Jason and her were not romantically compatible at all, it was all Hera’s mist. She didn't even know what she was thinking, crushing on someone who was so different from her on every level. So now Piper and Jason were like homie coded.

You were super worried after Percy told you that the new, Greek ship, the argo ii would land today. Which was pretty weird, since it meant that Jason was coming back to you. Why were you worried?

•Well, for lots of reasons, what if Jason didn't remember you anymore, what if he lost his feelings for you, what if he found someone else? The stress was real.

•Without even realizing it, you poured your thoughts out to Percy, whom you initially refused to tell about your’s and Jason's.. er.. situationship.

•Percy, would surprisingly be chill about it?? Like you were expecting some panicking now that he knew his sister was romantically involved with someone.

•Percy would calmly tell you that Jason wouldn't stop loving you, proudly pointing to himself as an example, that he never stopped loving annabeth even after the Hera Fiasco. Well. He had a point. That boy was still whipped for his girl.

•So when you locked eyes with Jason, and saw the familiar gleam in his eyes, you knew, he didn't forget. You forgot how piercing his blue eyed gaze was,because it made you feel stuff erupting from your stomach lol (blud is the definition of 🧿👄🧿)

•Without even caring about what your fellow Romans thought, Jason and you would just lunge onto each other tbh. Its canon that Jason is the best hugger ever, so it would be a rib crushing kinda hug.

•You would be SO relieved that he'd remember you and he'd be so relieved that you didn't move on.

•You guys wouldn't kiss, not yet. You still haven't exactly acknowledged your relationship status, BUTTT you do the cheesy af forehead touch thing (you could have sworn percy fake-gagged LOL)That's when Jason noticed your praetor badge, he’d be stunned, and would ask you for details, you’d simply point to the golden eagle perched at the end of the senate house and tell him that you and percy got elected after you both returned the eagle together.

He’d fall in love all over again omgg the heart eyes he’d give youuu. He knew that you were downplaying your achievements tho, so he’d secretly ask Reyna for the full details lol. (Reyna was a proud mom, so she’d give Jason ALLL the deets)

•okay so when Annabeth judo flips percy, you'd be SO taken aback lol, you’d even get a lil uncomfortable bc well that's YOUR brother getting attacked by a random girl- so initially you’d be ready af to throw hands.But after Percy starts laughing you’d realize that THAT'S annabeth. Like Percy's Annabeth. Dam, your brother was with a fierce girl.ANYWAYS, Percy would introduce Annabeth to you proudly, like “THIS is MY sister” (so dramatic and for what reason)

Annabeth would initially be very nervous around you, because, one, she didn't know that Poseidon had ANOTHER kid, gods know what havoc you and percy would cause together, two, you meant a lot to percy and she could clearly see that, an idiot could deny how much love your brother had for you, so she was determined to not mess up her reputation around you, ESPECIALLY after she the look on your face when she flipped Percy (you had a hot temper, need i mention, so without even realizing it, you had directed a very fierce glare at her, oopsie).

Octavian would again, not give up in trying remove your’s and percy’s praetorship by going “Oh there cant be four praetors its against the rules” blah blah that's where percy intervenes with his legendary “we all outrank you loser” lol

So after the group’s lunch scene where they discuss the prophecies and stuff. You, Reyna and Jason would actually talk amongst yourselves, after you guys came to the conclusion that you will have to join the gang in the argo ii. Jason would secretly be overjoyed that he doesn't need to separate from you anymore but you guys would still be sad that Reyna wouldn't be able to come.

This also meant that you would have to give your praetorship up. Gosh your positions in camp Jupiter somehow never stuck permanently, you'd even joke about that. And Reyna would have to handle Camp Jupiter by herself now that all three of you left, But Reyna assured you that it wasn't your fault.

Okay enough with the plot yapping I did. Bc if I continue it would go on for ages. The main reason you're here is because of reader x jason and I'm kinda deviating from that a little.

It would actually take so long till you and Jason get alone time on the argo ii because of group discussions and coach Hedge lol But you both would meet at the deck at like 2 AM (this kinda reminded you both of the times you and he would sneak out to explore New Rome at night.) That's where you both could feel the tension in the air lol. So many unresolved and unrequited feelings on both ends, how would you approach that?

But thankfully, being best friends first gave you guys an upper hand to moving forward in the relationship very quickly. You'd just start off talking about each other's respective journeys in your respective camps. He'd tell you about the quest with Leo and Piper, and you'd tell him about what went on in Camp Jupiter while he was gone.

That's when you realize that Jason looked a little different than when he left. His hair was Messier, a little longer, no more neatly cropped, his azure eyes sparkled when he spoke of Camp half blood, and the war games they had, how different it was from Camp Jupiter, etc.

But instead of feeling upset about how much Jason enjoyed the other camp, you'd feel relief. Relieved that Jason no longer looked stressed anymore, he'd always held this fatigue in his eyes, while he was at camp Jupiter , it was no wonder, considering the politics he'd had to engage in to prove the worth of the twelfth legion, his leader duties + vigorous training had tired him out, but now, some of the fatigue his eyes held had vanished.

Camp half blood seemed to be the place for him. Now you were itching to go to this mystery camp your maybe boyfriend AND your brother seemed to love so much.

Jason would be super nervous to tell you that he liked it better at camp half blood, and that he secretly wanted you to come and stay with him there though. Because he felt like he was betraying his Roman life. He felt like he was betraying your past.

So when he'd tell you, he'd just yap and yap about it out of nervousness. That's when it happened. That's when you kissed him. You would just pull him in. Period.

He'd be super flustered at first, neck reddening and all, but he'd just lean in and be so into it (he's a neck grabber, fight me) You'd think that as a military dude, the guy would be a bad kisser. Hell no. His dad's the chief of getting all the bitches, he ain't letting his son embarrass him by having no charm lol

OH OH and speaking of the old man, The moment your's and Jason's lips met, you would hear a clasp of thunder and see huge steaks of lightning explode in the sky.

You had to admit, the thought of your dad's watching as you both kissed made you feel weird lol

But if Zeus had hated you so much, he would've zapped you to electrons by now, and if Poseidon had hated jason so much, he would've drowned him. But thankfully, neither happened.

After lots of long deep conversations (and kissing)You both would reach the decision that after the whole gaia situation is over, you'd both stay at Camp half blood, but, you'd both return to settle in New Rome as you grew up. I mean, it's Camp Jupiter that you both dislike staying in, not the city itself. The city is paradise for demigods.

But the fates ruined it, so despite gaia’s defeat (No leo is alive and well here okay) after Jason took up the responsibility of building shrines for minor gods, he had to go back and forth between both the camps.

But you, Reyna, Hazel and Frank would help Jason with the minor gods in Rome, While Jason took care of the Greeks. This made his job a tad easier.So the downside was that you kinda had to do long distance for a while AND you hadn't even visited camp half blood yet (Which got on Percy's nerves, the poor boy wanted to show you around his Camp and cabin SO badly, but the fates never left you or Jason alone. The Romans always had duties in front of them.)

But because you, Reyna, Frank, Hazel, Annabeth, and even Leo helped Jason with the shrine stuff. The job got done a lot quicker.

You both were finally at peace.So as a celebration to finishing the shrine project, Percy and Jason DRAGGED you to camp half blood and had the whole day spent with all of the 7 (including Reyna and Nico).

When I tell you, you've never had THIS much fun ALL your life omg.

You never got to bond with Leo, Piper or Annabeth properly because of the war, and stuff. But today? It was like you guys have been friends since forever.

You played capture the flag, You and Percy used up your water shenanigans to put on the most dramatic fountain show EVER (Annabeth was right in her judgment, you both were completely chaotic together) she realized how fun you actually were, not even half as grumpy as you looked. After you and Percy caused a huge avalanche that almost turned into a hail storm (which was prevented by wind boy Jason) Leo told you guys to stop flexing your fancy shmancy weather powers.

Piper taught you guys how to surf, which only ended in You and Percy somehow splattering water on each other and you aggressively tackling him into the bottom of the ocean, WHICH ended in a chaotic “who can swim faster?’’ competition between you both, You both were SO dedicated that you created a huge bubble to bring everyone into the bottom of the ocean to spectate (Frank turned into a sea urchin though lol)

You and Percy ended up in an argument over who won. Mind you, if you read part one, you'd know that Percy and you have this ability to telepathically converse with each other underwater, but only you both understand, so it would end up looking like you're making strangled fish noises to the others. Nico, Piper, and Leo were absolutely hysterical. Jason was amused but so clueless. Hazel was mortified, while Annabeth and Reyna hoped you and Percy didn't kill each other. And Frank? He was still an urchin.

Also, since You, Jason, Percy, Annabeth, Hazel and Frank would all go to New Rome College together, you guys would have SO many double dates together omgg.

I forgot to mention, you met Tyson and Percy's new little sister Estelle, so now your sibling group has expanded even more.

did i mention that percy and you would have matching dolphin plushies? yeah. he'd have the blue and you'd have the grey

Tyson would love you sm omg :( he'd keep making you stuff every time you showed up in camp half blood.

Also, Sometimes when Percy and Annabeth would be busy, You and jason would so babysit Estelle (which Sally would adore) Jason would so take Estelle flying.

can I just take this moment to emphasize how much Sally would care about Jason?? Like after hearing jason’s erm tragic past, Sally would get so protective of him and give him sm food and everything :( Jason would get a little emotional too. Like you can just see his eyes tearing up whenever Sally hugs him :(((

Even though Reyna joined the hunters, You and Jason would make it a point to see her at least Every two weeks. She'd be so proud of how far you and Jason had come, even after the long break that temporarily had your relationship on hold. Now Reyna could sleep peacefully lol since the poor girl had seen you both hopelessly pining for eachother since you were like 9 lol

She had listened to you telling her that you weren't good enough for Jason to like you back, AND him telling her that he wasn't good enough for you, after all.

Okay after you guys got older, because of the amount of services you and Jason had done for Camp Jupiter, you guys would end up receiving such a cool house in New Rome as a gift (it's like the least you deserved for all that you've been through lol) It would have a fancy Roman bath and everything. and even better, it was not far from where percy and Annabeth were living. So it was a win win.

You and Jason would totally iris message Nico at least once a week, you both were basically proud parents when you see Nico all lovey dovey in a relationship with Will. (Is this how Reyna felt seeing you and Jason? Maybe, yes)

Also, you and Thalia met not long after she came to Rome to check out the minor god's shrines. She loved you, like almost immediately, Jason iris messaged her atleast twice a week, so he told her all about you. So Thalia would be SO happy that someone was treating her lil bro right. He deserved that.

Speaking of family, Zeus had just grudgingly accepted that you were his son's girlfriend lol Poseidon would actually be a little chill about it. He wasn't as judgemental as his brother. But just because you and Jason were dating didn't mean that your dad's didn't stop having a go at each other lol

But you both would make it a point to start aggressively kissing eachother whenever you spot statues of your dad's placed next to eachother. Simply to piss them off. And it works. Every. Single. Time.

You would hear a clasp of thunder each time you do this. You and Jason would just look at eachother and burst into giggles. It was a tradition now between you both.

Sometimes Jason would still look at you like you were made of stardust, and vice versa.

In the end, you and Jason were what people called “Childhood Sweethearts”

[aristia-pjoheadcanons]

hi✨adore your thoughts and headcanons to the moon and back with how detailed and in character they are. dark!percy has always been incredibly alluring and fascinating, so I was wondering about your presentation/analysis of him. if you're comfortable (if not, it's totally okay and just ignore it!), could you write percy and child of any "dark" like hades, or hecate, nyx (or whoever) god, who understands how scary and tough it can be when you and your powers are so destructive, and they help him to kinda adjust to this side of him and understand that he isn't a bad person for that (cause this guy already has a lot of self hatred). maybe kinda chaotic dumbass enemies to lovers? sfw or nswf - whatever works for you. sorry for this ramble! just so many thoughts about him...

hope you have a good time of a day🤟

DARK!Percy headcanons

authors note: Can I just say, I've been WAITING for a question like this. More Dark Percy headcanons everyone!! plss!!

warnings: mentions of abuse & neglect, suicidal and intrusive thoughts, impulsive thoughts, mentions of eating disorder, chaotic family life, Gabe Ugliano...

okay, this is a mixture of headcanons of his CHILDHOOD but also an ANALYSIS of DARK PERCY.

cigarette burns from Gabe. Not just because Gabe did it, some of Gabes older friends (a long time ago, before the lightning theaf book) told Percy to come closer and burnt it into his forearm. Gabes eyes turned into shock but then he poked a tongue in his cheek and scoffed in laughter, giving Percy a judgemental look - *its a classic look, the type of look you give someone when you're looking down on them.

Percy would be so angry at Gabe, sometimes he would snap and tell him to shut up because Gabe would watch TV late in the night and fall asleep with the TV on until morning. At some point, Percy opened the door and screamed on the top of his lungs to shut the fuck up, slamming the door, sleep deprived and exhausted, locking the bedroom door bc he was scared Gabe would do something - and sobbed loudly. He was just a kid, but he already learnt how to fight. Sally tried to give reassurance but Percy wouldnt open the door. The incident was deemed "nightmares" on Percy's part, and Sally let him sleep in her bed.

Sally and Gabe never shared a bed. Gabe snores, sometimes even has nightmares, other time she would bother Sally about a new babyboy they could have, as if Percy wasn't good enough to be his son.

One time Sally asked Percy if he ever wanted siblings. the truth is, yes, but with Gabe Ugliano? no way. fuck no. He said no in a really moody and almost bitchy way, and walked out of the house and went to school.

Percy had the habit of keeping his shoulders scrunched up when he slept. He still does, but he doesn't understand why his body tenses up when he sleeps - Gabe isn't there anymore.

He also had the habit of lowering his head, shoulders and hunching when he walked - but once he met Annabeth over the summer he kept his back more straight - and never hanged his head when he walked. He noticed and felt more relief.

When people asked what he was doing for the summer, weight was lifted off his shoulders when he said SUMMER CAMP - finally he had something to do during summer! Every kid in school went somewhere nice, now even Percy does. He felt like he could finally share a bit of the same intrests as everyone else. He could actually tell people about his summer.

You know when the teacher forces everyone to tell a little bit about their summer - now finally percy could say confidendtly he did somethign fun instead of making something up.

struggles with anger, but understand it got so bad he broke his own first laptop 3.5months of having it - he broke the screen in half with his bare hands. He regretted it so much and hid it but his Sally found out.

Regrettfully, this made Percy believe he would always ruin/sabotage things for himself, and that he doesn't deserve nice things. Letting his mother buy his clothes, never aksing for new clothes... whats the point?

Besides, Gabe was stingy with his money. Gabe even refused to buy shampoo which is stupid cause its cheap asf - but Gabe wanted the feeling of control.

the dynamic of the family and house changed. The living room was Gabes, not Sally and Percy's spot. Gabe even took Percy's side of the couch and his spot at the dining table. Percy stubbornly refused to move, but Gabe is scary and big for his size so he did it to be civil for his mother. He felt like he lost something that day.

When Gabe was out late, Percy would lock the door and put the chain on. Gabe would unlock the door and try to get inside, but the chain stopped him. Gabed huffed in frustration and Sally had to get up and open the door - which burned Percys heart because he realized that nothing could keep Gabe out.

Percy would generally be a very bitter person to be around, people would shy away from him and sometimes stop talking when he tried to join in.

self image, self-confidence and self respect was low. But actually scratch that, his self respect was high. he put boundaries down pretty fast with other people because he knew everything that gabe did was no, and everything that sally did was yes. but at some point he disliked Sallys touch just slightly bit, because he knew Gabe had held her hand earlier.

he would talk to sally for hours on the couch, but as soon as the door clicked opened he walked to his room and closed the door. He didnt want to be near gabe. but then gabe started to trash his room, and percy was basically forced to sit in the living room.

he felt like he was playing "family" or pretending everything was okay, as if Gabe wasn't neglectful, but he felt sick.

At some point Percy's anxiety and stress because to normalized within himself that he nowadays cant tell what anxiety even is - and he would sometimes even say hes never had anxiety, because its basically been with him from such a young age, he cant tell the difference.

pretending to be "family" was even worse walking around the mall with sally and gabe. gabe was just this big giant slob of goo that would follow everywhere, and gabe would even huff and puff shamelessly if they were taking too long. gabe even got angry if sally found something nice for herself, he was possesive.

started taking only an apple with him to lunch, 1. he thought he was fat. 2. gabe wouldnt buy anything he liked and they had to stick with the basics. 3.his lunch was embarrassing even though everyone ate cafeteria food.

he got so happy the first time he could bring something "normal" to eat or if he got money to buy lunch, his reason being that he could finally "blend in" insteading standing out as a "freak".

he has a burn mark on the backside of his ankle, near his achillies, burn himself bc of Gabe.

hates it if someone traces the cigarette scars on his arm, even hates it if Annabeth does it - he still struggles with his self image and probably wont like that part of himself until he grows old and gray.

one time he vented to someone about his childhood and they stopped talking to him. never spoke ever since, was afraid that someone would use it against him. hasn't even told his mom or sally half of the things Gabe said or did to him/behind his back.

one time gabe pissed on the clothes percy was wearing but blaimed it on percy. ofc his mother believed percy but it was still shameful for percy.

in second book of sea of monsters, a kid asked if percy let his mother buy his clothes - actually stopped letting his mother buy clothes for him after that.

he would naturally adopt people that were outcasts and be a friend - because people were rarely there for him when he needed it.

needs validation, but couldnt get it from school. his friends would praise him but he could barely accept those compliments because at the end of the day he was still a loser too.

his mother would be his studdy buddy, and tried to help percy with homework - but still found everything hard.

gabe got angry with percy would "dirtying everything" but Gabes the only reason why his mom has to clean daily.

Dark Percy would definitely develop from a young age, but it became a lot more present behind the scene of the books.

he desires comofort, safety and a space where he can be himself without having to walk on his toes around the place.

Honestly, NSFW

He suppresses his moans because he was used to being quiet when he was around Gabe.

He has jacked off quietly, watched any videos quietly, no sound and even with headphones get sscared that someone might hear.

One time he stayed up late bc of whatever reasons and his stepfather Gabe yelled "GO TO BED", the next morning Gabe complained about how loud Percy was when Percy was away at school (this was early middle school, school wasnt that far away). And his mother Sally defended him and said she believes that Percy goes to bed when he should/when she tells him to, this made Percy feel bad so he went to bed on time every since, or at least tried too. If he ever stayed up, he learn how to breathe quietly too.

The feeling of shame for touching yourself, feeling pleasure, and arousal was strongly in him from a certain age - Gabe's influence for even trying to be HAPPY or LAUGHING with his mother made him feel shame for any good feeling sexual or not.

[nullified-kiss]

the proximity crush — dazai osamu

are you really into him (is he really into you?) or is this just a kind of proximity crush type of thing? whatever it is, you're foolish enough to fall for it.

wc. 554

authors note: tbh, dazai isn't incorporated too much into the fic as i wasn't sure that it was the one that this kind of narrative matches with, yk? it aligns in style to the latest untitled writing i did (more in the mind/thought-based) i hope you enjoy it!

you couldn't really tell if he was a good person. given, you've only known him for a grand total of two weeks. not to mention, you can't genuinely call yourself a "good person". your thoughts go to places you don't think they really should be, to a more sinister side of mockery and judgement. you can't tell if you're impolite, or maybe a little strange, because you can't really tell what is "normal" just yet. you can't tell if he's been looking over at your direction more, or if it's just because you suddenly became so much more conscious of his singularity to yours.

but can you really blame him? you have no one but yourself to blame, you'd thought, having succumbed to the grasp of someone who was practically a stranger. given the chance, you would've in fact been captured in the trance of any man who allowed you to be an inch closer, laughed at your jokes, glanced at you more, or just coincidentally (it was surely your imagination…) been around you more in the pool of coworkers and friends that the two of you are distantly related to.

boy, this is stupid. it's not like he's the first crush you've had to someone who just had to spend more time with you among other people... think back to that friend in college who had taken more classes with you than other people, that neighborhood kid that you would have to sit near on the bus, or that one guy that you spent time with (among others) for four weeks at a summer camp. you know you're really foolish to fall for anyone that lets you into their physical bubble closer than you're normally comfortable with to a stranger. really foolish to fall for a guy that starts to play jokes with you, talk to you, and…

stop.

you're hallucinating! surely! you watch the man walk from his cubicle out the office, carefully trying not to make it so wildly obvious of your gaze.

aside from the doubts and fears, he has many great positives. he's funny, somewhat witty, and fun company. he's kinda cute after you've known him for awhile, you realize. (the first impressions didn't exactly hit too well, on both sides to be fair.)

argh! but in the end, life isn't all about finding "the one" is it? it's not always about finding someone else to fall in love with, although it does make life seem so much more bearable. you don't need a man to live in this day and age, so why are you so hung up on the fact?

he's back in the office, this time with a coffee in his hand. you watch his dark brown hair, his cheeky smile as he plays with Kunikida.

maybe he isn't the one and that was fine. for now, you're enjoying the excitement in your heart that makes your thoughts all the more powerful in your head. the closeness of him whenever you work side by side, the laugh and the glances he gives you when you're talking. (your laugh sparks among that chaos too, but is it obvious?)

whatever this was, real or not, it was fine for now. it doesn't hurt to dream of a joy, it doesn't kill to indulge in the fantasy, does it?

maybe i'll write a sequel

taglist (emptied since revamp!)

[palajae]

hypegirl! | two.

PAIRING ▸ soccer player! niki x afab! reader

GENRE ▸ soccerl! au, roommates!au, romance, fluff, angst, humor

WORD COUNT ▸ 3.2k

SUMMARY ▸ all you want is to join the boys’ soccer team. all niki wants is to get minji’s attention. as roommates, what better than to strike a deal and help each other out? nothing really, except for one glaring issue: your blossoming feelings for said roommate. oh, and the fact that you’re technically supposed to be your brother, kim sunoo. 

AKA a hopefully more sfw version of she's the man? 

NOTES ▸ based off she’s the man (2006), reader is sunoo's sister and pretends to be her brother sunoo, mentions of porta pottys? —let me know if there’s any typos!

masterlist. | next.

ESTIMATED TIME OF ARRIVAL… 

you’re kidding. 

not only were team selections in two days, sunoo (the real one) had just texted you that there was a fair tomorrow. 

with both the soccer camp and your (his?) music camp in attendance. the soccer players were allowed free entrance as it was their day off, while musicians from the band camp were invited to perform and volunteer amidst all the activity. 

“h-hey, niki.” you call out while still texting your brother. “have you heard about some fair tomorrow?”

he sits up. “oh yeah. i was just talking to jay about it. our group is gonna go. it’d be a great chance for you to bond with the other members of the team. you know, brownie points or whatever it’s called.”

you pretend to look excited, “oh yeah, of course!”

your face drains of color. 

because there was one problem: sunoo had several activities he volunteered for, no backouts allowed. 

and he was currently sick. with a stomach bug or something. 

you violently typed back to him telling him to cancel, but the freaking guy already told his band leaders that someone else would be there to fill in for him.

you slap a hand to your forehead. there’s no way you have to fill in for both you and your brother. there’s no way you can be two people tomorrow. 

well, it actually turns out that you can. after shoving the fake eyebrows, makeup, and clothes needed to transform appearances into your trusty bag, you make it. 

with a bonus, the dress from your mother that sunoo gets a friend to deliver to you. 

you meekly follow behind niki’s teammates as they enter the fair, tension high. 

you’re already sweating and the sun wasn’t even out yet. 

you jump when niki swings an arm around you. face burning, you can only nod when he says, “don’t worry and just have fun. the other guys will warm up to you real fast.” 

as kim sunoo, a guy hanging out with niki and his group, you realize you are doomed. 

the whole time the boys go on rides, play games and hang out, you’re checking the time. oh shoot, your eyes widen. you’re supposed to be at the dunking station right now. 

“crap, i gotta use the restroom. be back soon, sorry guys-!” 

you dash off without another word, leaving the team to exchange weird looks. 

you fly towards the nearest, nastiest, portable toilet. you’ve never gotten ready that fast in your life. wig off, makeup removed and reapplied, and annoying clothes sent by mother on. 

you run to your post, gasping. “hi, i’m here filling in for sunoo?” 

without a second of hesitation, you’re dragged into volunteer work. 

as soon as things get slow, you make an excuse to use the restroom. 

you bust out of the stall with sweat dripping down your face, probably ruining your makeup. coming to a screeching halt, you almost curse. you forgot to take your makeup off. 

exhaling, you walk out again. you’re pretty sure you got some weird looks coming out of the stall—appearance entirely different. 

“sunoo! there you are.” you catch up to the guys, acting normal as if you weren’t just a different person five minutes ago. 

“we were wondering what was taking so long. you okay?” the concern in niki’s eyes makes you glance away. 

“i think it was the burrito from yesterday…” 

not even thirty minutes later are you checking the time and making an excuse to go again.

“dang, was it really that bad?”

embarrassment fills your body at the thought that all the guys on one of the best soccer teams have to see you like this. were your chances ruined? 

“i’m super sorry but i really need to go-“

they watch as you scramble away. 

niki frowns, “sunoo’s not normally like this. i wonder if he’s okay.” 

and then you are you again. this time, wearing your dumb preppy outfit, handing out dumb fliers for the camp you weren’t even attending. the camp that you tried your hardest to avoid. 

you pull down your stiff, short skirt while handing out snacks and water bottles to people walking by. as you turn to grab more snacks, you hear the volunteers next to you begin to whisper. 

“i think they’re from the soccer camp. wow, isn’t he really tall?”

“—kinda cute?”

your eyes widen. no way, could they be talking about?

you turn and see, of course, niki and the rest of your group. 

all approaching the table you were currently standing out. beginning to freak out, you have second thoughts about running away again. you abruptly turn away, pretending to organize the snacks that needed no organizing. 

what if they recognize you? what if-

“hey.” 

you come back to your senses, seeing a shy niki—of all people—in front of you. 

you avoid eye contact, praying and hoping he doesn’t recognize you. nervously, you run a hand through your hair and give a bottle to him. 

“hi.” 

when your hand brushes against his, your breath hitches. you can certainly feel his dark orbs bore into yours. but he’s not letting go and neither are you. 

“thanks,” he says softly. you nod, trying to keep your gaze on the ground.

remembering where you are, you quickly snatch your hand back. but of course, your nerves get the best of you and cause you to knock into a pile of water bottles in the process. 

they all fall and you jump, startled at the noise. niki chuckles as you scramble to set it back up. 

of course, niki being niki has to help you set it back up. you can feel the tension in the air and it makes your hands tremble. 

as you reach for the last bottle, his hand lands on top of yours again.

eyes widening, you finally make eye contact. 

then his eyebrows furrow. shoot. 

“have we met before?” 

you begin to laugh nervously and clear your throat. you had gotten too used to speaking in a deeper voice to him. 

“m-me? i don’t think so.”

if anything, it feels like he stares deeper into your eyes, “you look really familiar. are you sure-?” 

you nod frantically. “i’m pretty sure we haven’t met before.” 

“oh, okay,” strands of hair fall into his eyes and you resist the urge to fix it, “i’m riki.”

“riki?” you voice aloud, and he laughs again. 

“yeah. are you gonna tell me yours or am i just gonna have to call you clumsy girl?” 

you say it, albeit hesitantly, but you being the idiot you were since day one, you tell him your full name. 

his eyes widen, “no way, are you—“ 

that’s when you know you messed up. 

“—kim sunoo’s sister?” 

you let out a painful laugh, “oh, that’s not-“

“that must be why you looked so familiar. you and your brother look really alike!” his reaction was so genuine that you’re actually embarrassed at how you laughed like a middle schooler. 

niki suddenly frowns, looking around. 

“you know, he was with us a few minutes ago but-“

you really need to get out of here before he finds out, you think as your heart pounds.

“if you’ll excuse me—“

but in your rush, you stumble in those dumb dress shoes the advisor told you to wear—that you were obviously not used to. 

you fling your arms out like a toddler trying to ice skate, and obviously, niki has to catch you in his arms like your personal prince charming. 

you stare at each other in utter silence and shock. 

“hi again?” he whispers and you suppress a smile at his utter adorableness. 

“sorry?”

niki’s arms stay wrapped around you until you clear your throat. 

“um, you can let go of me now.”

he laughs sheepishly, “yeah. o-of course, my bad.”

for a minute or two while gathering yourselves, brushing off imaginary dust, you’re not sure what to do. the butterflies in your stomach weren’t making it any better. 

“are you working here the whole time? cause like, when your shift ends, maybe we could like-?”

your eyes widen. they flick to his friends drilling holes at the two of you, some laughing and obviously hyping niki up behind his back. and then to the other volunteers eyeing you in jealousy or frustration that you weren’t doing your job, you’re not sure. 

all while you try your best to avoid jungwon’s squinty gaze. there’s no way… right?

“are you from around here?”

you softly laugh, “no, i’m here just volunteering…”

you don’t like how happy and light you feel while talking to niki, finally able to be with him him as truly yourself. 

but there’s that sinking feeling in your stomach that you try to push away. dread. like you’re going to get caught, or maybe you already were. 

you’re having such a good time just talking together that you forget about sunoo until niki brings him up again. 

“i swear your brother was with us earlier. he said he went to the restroom but i don’t know..”

you feel the light feeling fall flat, the floating you smack the concrete hard. this was reality—you had limited time with niki. 

you frown, acting all concerned. you were getting too good at that. “oh really? maybe i should go find and check on him.” 

niki starts, “i can go with you—“

“no!” you shout, before laughing hastily. 

“it’s okay. i’ll find him and come back. plus, i still have to volunteer. if i don’t, then it’s probably because i have to go back to camp…”

you see his face fall a little as he nods. “yeah, of course.” 

biting your lip, you make an impulsive decision. 

you kiss him on the cheek. 

“i’ll see you sometime?” you smile before dashing off to change. 

niki can only stares at you until he loses you in the crowd, touching the place on his cheek that you pressed your soft lips to. 

only for you to change and go back out as kim sunoo again. 

it’s not hard for you to find the group again, still in the same location. most of the guys were crowded around niki. which you expected, of course, but kim sunoo would never know that since he just came back from the restroom. 

“what’s going on?” 

all the guys, with matching grins and smirks, immediately disperse, leaving only a flustered niki. 

“niki?”

it’s hard to pretend like nothing just happened, seeing niki’s reaction made you realize just how affected you were too. 

“n-nothing. we can talk about it later.” 

you want to feel a bit hurt that he simply brushes it off, but you can feel how flushed your face is. to the point that you can’t even hold eye contact with niki for more than two seconds. 

“alright. you better keep me on that promise. let’s get back to the group.” 

you internally chide yourself for being so awkward. 

you needed to get a hold of yourself before something went wrong.

you barely slept. the dark under eye bags you sported were evident proof. you were too nervous for team decisions. 

all the fears and doubts came back. you weren’t good enough. after all, you had spent most of your life playing soccer as a hobby, never properly recognized or given the chance for more serious training. 

even more so, you weren’t even allowed at this camp. what if they found out and kicked you entirely from the camp? 

perhaps your constant shuffling in bed caused niki to wake up. 

“sunoo. why aren’t you sleeping? tomorrow’s a big day.”

you almost jolt. “sorry, did i wake you?”

“never mind that. just answer the question.” 

you gulp at his firm tone. and so you voice your fears, insecurities, and weaknesses to niki. someone and something you would have never expected doing, but you would never regret. or forget. 

“sunoo.”

“i know i probably sound dumb, and i’m being a bit irrational. or a lot,” you ramble on. 

“sunoo.” 

you sigh. “yeah?”

“relax. i think you’ll be more than fine. maybe you couldn’t tell but everyone else could—we could see your immense improvement. and more importantly, your passion and drive. you worked so hard for this. there’s nothing for you to be scared of and you know it. we all do.” 

for a minute, you’re stunned. his words hit deeper than you thought. all of the stress and anxiety, both mentally and physically, drops on you all at once. 

his next words are what get you. 

“i’m proud of you.” 

“thank you, riki. that means a lot. like, a lot.” 

and whether he heard your quiet sniffles or not, he says nothing.

before you know it, it’s morning. and before you know it, all the guys are lined up in front of the coaches. the already assigned teams get into their groups, having been on the same team for years while attending the camp. while the newbies, including you, stand off to the other side. 

you see niki nod at you encouragingly before moving to the other side of the field. 

you can feel your heart pounding in your chest. weeks had gone by, and after this day, another week would go by. the only difference would be that you would be on a team. hopefully: niki’s team. 

you didn’t even realize when it was your turn. one of the coaches turns to you with his clipboard. 

“kim. you’ve improved—immensely.” 

you’re not sure if you should take it as a compliment or insult, but you nod anyways. 

“that’s why we all decided you’re a good fit for enhypen.” 

it doesn’t hit you at first. but as the boys cheer, and you see niki with a bright smile welcoming you, your mouth drops. 

you run towards the group, arms wide open to engulf you. in your happiness you run straight into niki’s arms, causing him to let out a big oof!

the other teammates surround you two. not only you but park sunghoon and lee heeseung made it to enhypen. 

you couldn’t believe you made it. everyone else believed you were good enough to be on their team. 

niki believed. 

after they released you, calming down as the coaches finished assigning the rest of the players, you feel someone ruffle your hair. 

startled, you look up to see niki with a proud grin. it makes your heart skip a beat. “congrats,” he whispers and you nod bashfully. 

“thanks again,” you stare up at him. it was too easy to get lost into his eyes. his dark gaze always seemed to engulf you. now, and especially at the fair. 

you realize you may have been staring at each other too long when you hear clapping and cheering. they were done assigning teams. 

you both look away while niki coughs and you swallow thickly. 

that night, you can feel something different in the air. whether it was your acknowledgment of your (quite) obvious feelings for niki or something he was keeping from you, you weren’t sure. 

all you knew was you couldn’t get him off your mind after that day at the fair. you had already thought about him quite often, but niki now entered your dreams, your point of vision much more than you liked. 

especially since you were still supposed to be getting him with minji.

but it was so easy to ignore, to prevent. specifically when niki says he has something to tell you as you both get in bed. 

“well, you see- i actually- uh,” he fumbles for words and you furrow your brows. 

why was he so nervous? what was so important that he had to tell you?

“what is it?” you interrupt him impatiently. 

“i-i might’ve met your sister. the other day at, at the fair.” 

oh. oh. that’s right. you weren’t supposed to know. since you were “gone” when niki met your sister- when niki met the real you.

and he was telling you right now as if you didn’t know anything. because you aren’t supposed to know anything. 

“and, uh, she was nice. really nice. like i was surprised because i didn’t think she would be like that but uh, you know. also she looks a lot like you to the point i almost thought she was you for a sec-“

“niki. what are you trying to say?” you keep your tone nonchalant, but internally you were freaking out. 

really, what was he trying to say?

you hear a lot of rustling from his side of the room. “oh-uh, nothing. she’s cool. yeah. so like, i don’t really think about minji that much anymore?”

you must’ve blanked out for a tiny bit because you come back to niki saying 

“-you feel me?”

you clear your throat, “uh totally, man.” 

all you remember is him mentioning he wasn’t that interested in minji anymore. your eyes bulge as you sit up in bed. 

“wait, wait, wait. you’re not into minji anymore? what—why?”

“i dunno, i just find myself thinking about other things..” 

there’s no way. you’re mystified. could that mean? 

“you’re saying you’re moving on? to me-my sister?” 

“huh? wha-“ he laughs awkwardly. “i didn’t say that!” 

“no, this is a good thing! that you’re getting over her,” you say a little too eagerly, so you then clear your throat, “i mean, i guess. i just think you deserve someone better than minji.” 

niki nods although you can’t see, keeping your thoughts in mind. 

the joint conditioning between the soccer and lacrosse players were coming to an end, to your relief (and minji’s disappointment). 

“aww,” she pouts during one afternoon break, “i’m gonna miss you a lot, sunoo.”

“yeah, you were a good partner.” you smile weakly. as you leave to get more water, she frowns. 

there was no way you weren’t picking up on her signals. she wonders if she could get closer to you by asking your friends. the only person she saw around you the most-?

that’s right, nishimura riki. 

you didn't expected to be attacked by niki on the way back to the dorms. he completely forgets how much smaller and lighter you were than he imagined. his hands find their way onto your shoulders forcefully so you’re forced to make eye contact. 

your wide eyes meet his eager ones. 

“sunoo-! you won’t believe what just happened! i actually can’t believe it, is this even real?!”

“huh.” 

he lets go, to your relief. he jumps around, full of energy even though you just had a five hour practice? 

“man, i just can’t believe it still. kim minji talked to me- like to me personally!” 

he brings a hand to his forehead. 

“she knows i exist. she smiled at me.”

you can’t help the disappointment that fills you from bottom to too. 

“what? but what about the whole, you know, getting over her plan?” 

you don’t even try to hide the dismay in your voice. 

niki jumps up and down, “but minji! she finally talked to me!” 

you try your best (half heartedly) to not seem upset. but you had gotten your hopes up. maybe, just maybe, niki would be interested in you. but how could he be? 

how could he when he didn’t even know who you were? 

and how could it be minji when she didn’t even bat her eyes at him before? 

a/n ▸ sorry for being mia but here's the next part <33 let the drama begin hehe

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[spotaus]

Random fun post :) ((New Age))

So, I think that a thing with me is that I mention Dream is afraid of storms, I have a fear of storms, and then I procceeded not to elaborate. So I am going to type out a drabble on here with no editing and see how far I get before my roommate gets back or I get sick of it. (Honestly this is just an exercise in seeing how I plan these thangs out-)

-> Dream and Blue have established themselves in the old cottage, but are just settling in, so their group and supporters have yet to establish the camp around the clearing. For the time being, it's just Dream and Blue working out plans and deciding what their next move should be. (Notes: The cabin has two twin-sized beds. They dont stay seperate for long.)

It'd been a good week so far. Dream was glad to see the cottage when they'd first arrived, and Blue had been a deft hand at clearing out any critters, patching holes in the roof and slats between the logs of the wall, and seeing what furniture inside was still salvagable. His father's friend was a carpenter, he claimed. He'd taken an apprenticeship with them as a child and learned a thing or two. Dream had largely watched in awe, or disppeared outside to to some cleaning of the large garden space. Their first week out, Blue had taught him how to uproot plants, and since everything in the garden planted by its old owners was long dead, Dream decided he'd do some fixing up of it while Blue did repairs.

Their tings were stached safely inside the building in the bedroom, the first room they secured and repaired. It had a pair of beds inside which reminded Dream vaguely of his childhood room he shared with his twin, only now fallen into disrepair. They'd had to discard the old blankets, torn to shreds by various wild guests, but they weren't so far away from town that they couldn't get replacements and new sets of quilts to lay beneath them for comfort.

Dream got the bed closer to the door, if only because Blue admantly believed the ground-floor window to be more of a threat, even though at night they would close the heavy wooden shutters left over from the last owner, blocking views of the outside. Right now, his supplies, changes of clothes, and everything else sat safe in a trunk they'd found and emptied, only his bow laid out on his bed in an easy-to-grab location. Meanwhile Blue had his supplies tucked underneath the other bed, his spare armor and bedroll hiding in the dark. it felt good to share a room with someone again. Even if Blue's breathing was much louder and erratic than Night's used to be.

Right now, Dream sat at the edge of the stream which ran through the property. Another thing Blue had taught him to do was wash things. Clothes, weapons, blankets. Currently he was washing off the old, rusty trowel he'd found half-buried in the yard. The rust was stubborn, but Dream swore the more he scrubbed, circles as he'd been taught, that it seemed to give way. And, honestly, he was so enamored by the gross, reddish, bloody color which occassionally chipped away and seeped onto his fingertips, he hadn't noticed the sky growing dark, nor the wind picking up.

Only when raindrops finally graced his skull did he think to look up at the sky above him. Cloudy. Grey. Twisting.

His stomach did an impossible flip at the sight, and he found himself dropping the trowel there on the grassy bed beside the stream, before high-tailing it across the lawn and back to where the cottage stood. He'd have been ashamed for fleeing so quickly, but when his boot collided with the little porch outfront and his hand connected with the handle, the sky split with a crack of lightning. It lit the rain-speckled stone beneath his feet and momentarily cast his shadow tall on the door before him. His soul seized as he tugged open the door and shut it behind him, just before the entire structure shook with a loud crash of thunder.

The storms in the kingdom had been horrible, he wasn't sure what caused it, but he had to imagine nature itself was troubled by his twin's corrupted rule. By the imbalance. That's what he told himself, at least. Why else would his hands be trembling against the doorknob like a newborn fown's spindly legs? Why else would he be holding the door shut, as though that would somehow keep the storm from flooding his soul with terror?

It felt like ages as he stood there, stiffly. Too afraid to back away from the door, and too startled by each shaking rumble of the sky from outside. Through the glass he could hear the shrill whistle of the rain whipping violently between the trees.

He refused to look out the windows, lest-

"Dream?" that voice, familiar, snapped him out of his trance, for just a moment. Long enough to snap his hands to his chest, like the knob had been boiling hit under his palms, "Are you alright? What's wrong?"

His knight rushed into his view as he stood there, still feeling stunned by a bolt of lightning which hadn't even hit him. Blue's eyelights were wide and bright, big orbs of mana sitting proudly in his skull, examining Dream's face, then his arms, then his chest, his legs, no doubt scanning for an injury. Dream didn't answer his question, and Blue settled on an answer himself when his eyelights settled back to look at Dream's trembling hands.

"The storm, right." Blue supplied to himself, before his expression moved from worried into something brighter. Dream could taste nothing but fondness rolling from Blue as he extended his own gloved hands and pulled Dream's away from where they clutched at his tunic. He held them out in the air between the two of them, his hands were strong, "Have no fear! The Magnificent Blue apologizes for being tardy, but now he is here, and reayd to rpotect you from any big bad storm!"

Dream saw the determined, silly grin on his face, and let himself smile just a bit. Nodding along to Blue's declaration. Blue always made him feel better.

Though, the storm was equally good at unsettling him. Just as Blue seemed to believe he'd won, there was another bright flash of lightning and an immediate rumble which made Dream flinch before he could control himself. Staring at the space where Blue held his hands like a life-line. The thunder was too loud, the rain pounded the windows now, and the wind still whistled, high and insistant.

"Hmm, it's a heavy one. Let's go get comfy, wait it out! How does that sound?" Blue glanced at the windows, before making his suggestion. He waited for Dream to nod along in vehement agreement before Blue walked backwards to lead him into the branch-off room from the main entrance.

The room they'd just been in was larger, with a space to cook, couches and chairs, and old rickety bookshelves devoid of any decor. it was a large space they planned on filling with life by the time they were done here. The room they entered, moving past a single door, was that room with the two beds, the big desk, Dream's trunk, and some old rugs that were still good enough to use. it was smaller, and cozy, in comparison. It also helped that the one window to the outside had already been shuttered, never opened from the night before.

Blue guided him inside, ignoring the shaking of another bought of thunder, before gently shoving Dream to sit on his bed. He managed to slip his hands out of Dream's grip, just long enough to pull the Prince's blanket up and around his shoulders, and excuse himself for just a second.

Dream was distressed to let Blue leave his arm's length for even a moment, but found he was much more intrigued when Blue rushed over to his cot and... with little effort, he shoved his bed over, leaving the objects which had been neatly stacked beneath discarded on the gorund. The wood of his frame clattered against the edge of Dream's, and he watched in befuddlement as Blue shifted around his own sheets. Then he tugged his blanket off his cot and pulled it over himself and his dirty day-clothes with a grin.

"There we go!" He announced, clearly unaware, or ignoring, Dream's confused face. "We're not on the bedrolls anymore, so I figure this will just be easier to allow you you to feel secure without worrying about our comfort. Proximity is key!" Blue was an angle.

Dream actually smiled at that, unable to focus on the next rumble of thunder as he pulled himself onto the center of his bed, and then closer to where Blue had planted himself upright towards the center. It was a lot like their first night Dream had seen the storms. Blue had let Dream curl around him like some frightened snake, unbothered by the proximity, claiming it was just his duty. A friend helping a friend. A knight helping his prince. Dream had been mortified after, but Blue truly only felt pride at being able to watch over Dream in a moment of weakness. Dream appreciated him, and tried to channel a burst os positive aura as he settle in to lay against Blue's side.

The knight just pulled the blanket up tighter around Dream's shoulders and reassured him that he wouldn't move an inch, and that his patch-work was wonderful. Unrivaled. No water would get in.

[bonebabbles]

Thunder Chapter 6: Trial by Kittens

As usual, the trials for acceptance into another Clan are absolutely stealing the show. These are absolutely the most enjoyable parts of ASC so far.

I really hope that the characterization being given to Spotfur's three kits remains, they're all fantastic and I adore them. I haven't seen anyone compile these new personalities, or really point out the dynamics at play in this little scene though! So I'll do just that!

Misc Info

Apparently, Spotfur cusses in front of her kids lmao. This is the singular most important thing about this book, actually. Stemkit says "SHIT" and Sunbeam is like "WATCH YOUR PROFAMITY" and he protests with "MOM curses all the time"

They had never been outside of camp before, Spot's anxious about this! It's nice seeing her being a protective mom.

UNRELATED SIDE NOTE: I miss how in TPB kits seemed to have "their first prey" as a major developmental milestone, but those times are loooong gone. This situation is scratching an itch for me, though!

Sunbeam's first prey was frog; frogs apparently taste canonically like blackbird. (another side note, i should make a taste guide as a clan culture expansion and check if there's any validity to that... i would have guessed it would taste more like duck.)

She takes a good amount of time just chatting with them, and the dialogue here is actually fantastic. It feels just like being in the middle of a conversation with my nespring, it's great. The writer really nailed the cadence of little kids.

Sunbeam also realizes that she needs to keep all three kids engaged, and so creates a particularly convoluted setup so they're all doing something. Clever!

Graykit Gray-and-white tom

IS REALLY interested in hunting.

He chased after a mouse the same size as him when he was half a month old, though obviously he couldn't catch it.

Dreams of one day catching one of every type of prey around the lake. That's such a fun goal actually?? Completionist Graykit wants to 100% the hunting speedrun challenge. That's fantastic.

Stemkit Solid orange tom

Seems to be the most thoughtful of the kits.

Asks the majority of the questions, responses tend to be very "philosophical" towards things. Will say outright that he does not know something if he doesn't know the answer.

A wise child.

Cusses because he missed a vole lmao. VERY cute. I hope this boy grows up to have a mouth like a sailor. I love vulgar philosophers.

Bristlekit White-and-orange molly

Most impatient, and seems to have a little bit of a mean streak.

Scoffs when Graykit brings up his mouse story, saying that "nearly doesn't count." A bit of a perfectionist!

Also interjects the most when her brothers are rambling.

But is able to back this all up! She is the most focused, and is the first one to scent the vole den.

She also catches two voles when her brothers only catch one each.

[eluxcastar]

Writing here because the type limit for comment in that one anon is FEOLSEKFMSEF.

NAUR, NOT THE FINAL LESSON NUH UH. If Arlecchino canonically doesn't die next patch, Brighella shouldn't too… BET. I do love the idea of a match between Cap and Brig! (wait, tf do we name her if she ain't "brighella" the fatui harbinger like it is the name she only knows) I mean, I did think about about her dying too… so tempting. I kinda ride that Acheron idea, some intense danceeee ehe… Her ult kinda has the Arle schemed and vice versa.

Angst material… hmmm, I did have an idea but it was only IF Arlecchino was centuries old but due to her taking over recently by canon that is scrapped because it is too inaccurate by the possibility lol. (It involved lowkey dying, and giving her heart to Arle then did get resurrected by the abyss order for them to use but she went rebellious and just lingers around Teyvat and the Abyss). A dance between the two, YES. I've always thought of Arlecchino being incapable of being romantic with Brighella beyond obsession. But, with all those fanfics I am consumed by sweet Arle with acts of service... Hahaha! We shall wait for the next patch on her potential emotional stance ykyk... Maybe she does care, despite having the reputation of discarding anything that does not benefit her. For me, Arlecchino is more of "You belong to me" kind of person not "You belong with me" Hold up gotta reread the lore stuff, after doing an assignment

Hehe Final Lesson inspiration I knew it was evil ALRIGHT it's on if Arle doesn't die I won't kill Brig either but if she does not only will I cry but I'll make it worse

I still call her Brighella, but she was also briefly called Matilda in my notes after the folksong Waltzing Matilda (what is she but a jolly swagman camped by a billabong (￣▽￣) wait I just realised she lives in Wangshuu Inn next to a body of water—she IS a jolly swagman camped by a billabong (°ロ°) !)

I also struggled so bad with the fact Arle is young because like, the timeline was screwing me over in my original plans (；￣Д￣) I was like WHY CAN'T YOU JUST BE OLD (to my friend if you're reading this GO AWAY it's NOT because of the accusations I like old people) it would've made my life easier, but alas miHoYo can never do such things. I would have loved that idea because it's so edible— SACRIFICING herself for Arle??? Then Arle having to grapple with potentially being responsible for Brig becoming an unwilling pawn of the abyss??? delicious (*/▽＼*)

I LOVE the dance between Acheron and Black Swan sm something about those vibes just fits them so well

Yk I agree with that philosophy that Arle is a "you belong to me" not a "you belong with me" kinda person. I also like the idea Arle is lowkey obsessed with her (and though it's subtle in OoR it's sprinkled in there ( ´ ꒳ ` ) ) I wish that it didn't get so long it lagged every word program I put it through because I think when I rewrite it, I'll lean into that more and draw out the time it takes for them to come to an agreement ( ◡‿◡ *) Possibly a mix of the two where her 'love' for Brighella is born of obsession, their relationship is probably in some manner unhealthy, but she may be able to learn to love her normally as well (I doubt either of these people are capable of a healthy or normal relationship LMAO)

Random fun fact to throw into this one: the differences in thinking about their relationship are also what prompted me to have her completely unable to understand why Brighella gave up so easily and generally have there be a disconnect between what Brig wants and what Arle wants for her (ノ*°▽°*) because those are two very different things

Second song idea for the two of them I had five seconds ago: Fire and the Flood by Vance Joy ♡( ◡‿◡ )

[on-partiality]

Okay, so I'm absolutely curious:

I don't know if you've been asked this already, but how would you rank the Founding Fathers (from the ones you like the most to the ones you really don't)?

Sorry for taking forever I got sick and then I had school camp but here's how I'd rank them:

1, Alexander Hamilton: I've studied him the most out of the main founding fathers so I've grown rather attached to him. I still acknowlege his flaws like the fact that the trading charter he worked for when he was younger also sold slaves, the fact that he was sexist just like the typical 18th century man and that he did cheat on his wife. But even with all of those, he's my favourite of the bunch.

2. James Madison: when creating this tier list type thing I realised that I really don't know much about Madison that's why he's higher in the list (because I've studied him so little compared to the others, I don't know as much about his flaws and problematic actions as I do the rest of the bunch) I've read a lot about him doing silly things and supposedly being a good husband but the fact that he got along so well with Jefferson throws me off because I really don't like Jefferson. So yeah, I'd say I'm pretty neutral with Madison.

3. John Adams: I haven't studied him as much as the other founders (still more than Madison though) so I find it difficult to have too strong an opinion on him. I like his stance on slavery and the fact that he never owned any, however, I don't like his thoughts on women and men without property (and just generally the requirements he wanted to make on who should and shouldn't be allowed to vote) and I don't believe he was a very good father from what I've read about how he treated his oldest son, I also don't like his personality.

4. Benjamin Franklin: I know that no one is going to agree with me on this one but something about him just grosses me out, probably because I'm semi-sex-repulsed and hearing about the way he was with so many women makes me want to gag. Additionally, the comment he made about old women being the same in the dark grossed me out heaps. I get that he technically wasn't that bad and he freed his slaves and invented so many things but his personal life throws m

5. George Washington: Look, he did some HORRIBLE things, he owned many slaves, his treatment of Native Americans was terrible and I completely disagree with most of his political views... But I really like him as a military commander and a soldier and I like his personality a lot and that's why he ranks higher than the next person on this tier list, I don't agree with most of his actions. I don't support racism or genocide. But also I have far more fun studying Washington than I do the next founding father on this list.

6. Thomas Jefferson: child rapist, owned more slaves than any of the other people on this list (I think) and was really weird with his pets. He advocated for religious freedom and he was smart, I'll give him that but I don't like his personality, I don't like his political views and he was very hypocritical. Really, with his views, he wouldn't have even liked himself and he didn't do enough to make me like him. He's still interesting to study but I find it far harder to empathise with him than I do the men listed above because I really just can't see him as anything but vile.

Bonus!: I would put Aaron Burr between Adams and Madison because while I agree with most of his views and he's really fun to study, I like Hamilton a little bit too much to rank the man that killed him higher than 3rd.

(note: I wrote this on like an hour of sleep, this may be the worst amrev take ever)

Edited, 24th of February: Got reminded of this post's existence thanks to a comment by @c0ckmuncher pointing out how inaccurate one of these takes was and checked it again and safe to say I'm never posting anything late night ever again, the rankings have now been changed to better suit what I actually think of these men

[justanotherbirdbrain-blog]

Writing a Geologist/Someone who studies rocks: From a Geologist

Maybe a bit of a personality analysis on myself and everyone I have studied/worked with thus far, but I figured it would be helpful to provide the more common types of geologists, what they might find interesting specifically, and how they are conducting their research. I also wanted to show different sides of geology, because most depictions are of this rugged field geologist who always wants to go outside, when that is only like... 1/3 at most of the geology community.

Anyway! Let's get into it! *Also let me preface that this will be about geologists that have stayed in academia and not a geologist working a 9-5.

*I put bullet points at the bottom for people who don't want to read all of this*

There are probably three MAJOR types of geologists, but of course we are human and our interests lie somewhere on a spectrum. I just wanted to give the 'generic' versions to make it easier for you to write a character.

The first kind of geologist is the field geologist!

I am once again really just yoinking someone's face again, sorry stranger. I feel like this is a great image of someone doing fieldwork. So, what they are using in this image is a 'Brunton Compass'. So what is different and important about this compass compared to others is that it can be used to measure the angle the rocks are sloping, used to measure elevation and a lot of things honestly, but what the man in this image is doing is measuring the angle of these rocks for geologic mapping purposes. A lot of these geologists ask questions like: What did this landscape used to be? How old is this? What lived here during that time? What was the climate/temperature at that time? How has this changed since it was *insert what it used to be* and what changed it?

Some things I have noticed a lot over the years when dealing with field geologists is they can hike... endlessly. They never seem winded going uphill and those boulders that seem dangerous? They are in them. Heights do not seem to scare them at all, in fact nothing scares them. Camping for extended periods of time is one of their favorite things, and ending the day with a beer is kinda their thing. They are some of the friendliest people I have ever met also. Super, golden retriever energy. (of course every once and awhile you will find a mean one though)

Next on this list is the classic lab rat geochemist/petrologist. (I am a geochemist/petrologist in practice so I can say this, though this is less a description of me and more so some of my lab mates, yes I am outing them).

Thank you for your service random strangers! These are a type of person that really care more about the rocks after they are dissolved and run through a machine to give results. Things they love: strong acids (How else will you dissolve a rock), machines that will explode if you turn them on wrong, excel spreadsheets (we actually hate them though). All joking aside, Typically what these people really like about geology is being able to understand the 'life' the rock had. What did this rock used to be? What does this represent? How has this rock changed and evolved through time? With these elemental changes, what does that imply of the process this rock experienced?

You might be thinking to yourself now "how are these different from the questions listed for a field geologist?" and to that I think I would say scale. I think in general a geochemist looks at things that are smaller but can have bigger implications and a field geologist looks at the big picture. Its important to note that most research is always best when these two are working together. And when you think of it that way you can create some fun interactions with these two characters.

Personality wise, I feel like its all over the place, I have met several nice geochemists and bunch of not so nice geochemists. A geochemist will more than likely have a rock collection, but likely it will be of rocks they do not study. They will pull long nights at the lab and I feel like they will always be reading about something they 'just don't quite grasp' while critiquing or complementing the paper. Most geochemists still like to get out of the lab every once and get some fresh air, (they chose to study nature for a reason), but they don't do it enough.

The last kind of geologist is a modeler/geophysicist, these guys! These guys... I don't know a lot of them, I know a couple. So my understanding might be skewed incorrectly. Let me know!

Anyway! Geophysicists can be interested in earthquakes sure, it is important to know what is causing these major disasters, but most of the time (not every geophysicist uses earthquakes, this is just an example) they are interested in what they can learn using earthquakes! which is really so crazy! So, what a geophysicist will do is study how the waves more through the earth, because waves travel at different speeds through different solids and liquids (some waves don't even travel through liquids). Soooo, what are they curious about? The mantle and most importantly, the CORE. Yup, cool stuff. Anyway why did I include modeling in this also? Because using these observations typically you would make a working model to better understand how the system works. Models can also be made for fluid movement in the earth, volcanics, and a ton of other things, but the work is similar to that of a geophysicist. This is very big picture stuff, trying to figure out how the earth works in general. Also the key here is, from my understanding, it is a lot of math and a lot of coding. Which actually means a lot of people from those backgrounds find geology later in life.

Geochemists and geophysicists often work together and could potentially have a very good or very bad relationship.

Personality wise, these guys are always on a computer honestly, sometimes they will be stuck waiting for their model to finish running for days at a time. Just like a geochemist, you will find them outside occasionally, maybe to put in a new system, but more than any other geologist I feel like modelers are exceptionally good at not making their job their hobby. They may do martial arts, art, baking/cooking, owning plants, etc., on the side much more than the other geologists. These people are super smart, but these folks are probably the ones who know the least about like 'generic' geology, as in mineral ID and stuff, but they seem very nice and are typically pretty introverted.

There are many other kinds of geologists, like the geologist who kinda wanted to do marine biology but there were no jobs in marine biology so they study the ocean floor OR they studied paleontology of oceanic critters, so they could backdoor get into marine biology somehow and many others, or geologists who study the surface as it is today, but now lets talk about how all this can be helpful with writing.

I am making a bullet list of things that will apply to your character A=All F=field geologist P=petrologist and geochemist and M=Modeler and Geophysicist

A: It is important to know that one person cannot fill all of these roles as a character, and it is okay for your character to say "that's not my thing, but I have a buddy".

A: Feel free to make your science character have a very specific interest, not only will it probably make it easier for you in terms of research, but it is also more realistic.

F,P: Your character is likely to point out things that your other characters might not notice while walking, especially if they are a geochemist and field geologist. It will just be small comments here and there, like "Oh! Is this basalt?" before they might amuse themselves examining the rocks (It is a good way to get rid of the character)

F,P: There pack will be full of rocks, you will try to pick up their bag, and it will be exceedingly heavy

P,M: You are likely to find them crashing in their lab/office because they worked too late

F: They will drop everything for an excuse to go outside for 'vacation' but they will inevitably do geology the entire trip.

P,M: Probably behind on reading, and probably have a migraine from staring at too many screens.

P: Unsure if their hand is itchy because of dry skin or if they accidentally got acid on their hands (Some acids [HF] don't immediately burn your skin).

M: Always harassed by the scared general public because of a small earthquake that happened where is 'shouldn't have'.

Anyway! If you have anything geology related that you would like me to write about please feel free to ask! I am running out of ideas for my writing guides and am probably going to switch to different content soon!