#but instead recognize a symbol of destructive sexuality

[garlicbrede]

For some reason my brain decided to make a long rant in the tags, so uh yeah got that for anyone that wants to see it.

my mom loves to lie and like she always swears she was NEVER homophobic or anything to me as a child “i even have a gay work friend” but a really funny memory resurfaced recently where i asked if i could use birthday money i had to buy a rainbow flag when i was like ??? 7?? because i LOVED rainbows. and she said no that means something Evil and god will hate you . so what did i do. but ask my grandmom for a rainbow sweater for christmas and proceed to only wear that sweater for three years when it got cold because i didnt like the idea that god hated colors and i wanted to challenge him

[vesselandmoon]

The Chalice

NSFW so please, 18+ for readers on this one. This has nothing to do with the main Sleep Token fic I've been working on, it's just smut for the sake of it I suppose. I wasn't going to post but @hookedhobbies has me trying to step out of my comfort zone haha. I appreciate it, truly. That being said, please read the content warnings and tags. If I forgot something, let me know and I'll add it.

CW: candle wax, rituals(sort of), bondage/shibari, spanking, cum eating, body worship, ice, sexually explicit content, breath play, blood play and knife things(mild), creampie, deep throat, edging/orgasm denial(mild), marking by way of paint, biting, raw sex, size difference (kind of)

When Celie is allowed to be an altar for an offering to Vessel, she gets pulled into a situation she didn't expect.

When Aracelia agreed to partake in a ritual, she thought she knew what to expect. She was aware of the terms well ahead of time. Given every opportunity to back out and yet there she was, standing at the back door of a club in a dark alley. A single light over the door was more ominous than she liked, but she knocked anyway, the hollow metallic sound echoing from brick walls.

A tall man in a mask opened the door and she flinched. III. The white and gold mask hid his eyes in shadow but the mouth was missing. The entire lower half of the mask was gone and instead everything was covered in deep blue body paint. She’d seen pictures of him before with bright red hair, but it was black now but just as messy and wild. Everything about his outfit felt tight. Restricted. Leather pants with lacing up the sides and a corset that bared more deep blue paint.

He’d been the one she’d had the most contact with in terms of discussing hard limits but seeing him face to face (so to speak) was more than a little intimidating. He cast his eyes down at her, then around the alley before moving aside so she could enter.

Inside was cold and dark, with only a faint red glow from lights along the ceiling. III closed the door, plunging them into darkness. He put a hand to the middle of her back and led her forward, guiding her through the narrow hallway. His hand was hot through her shirt, sending a shiver down her spine as the chill in the building had caused goosebumps to rise on her arms.

From somewhere far off she could hear the faintest music but III guided her into a room well before they got close enough to hear what was being played. Inside was silent and sent shivers though her for a completely different reason.

Intricate rigging in the center of the room told her that the bondage she’d been asked about referred to shibari and it would be likely that she’d be unable to move. A circle was drawn on the floor with symbols she didn’t recognize. Oh, so they were really taking it seriously as a ritual. Candlelight cast long shadows of other figures in the room. II and IV, who stood stone still, watching her.

There was an altar pushed against a wall, already set out with several instruments. A silver goblet, a dagger with a curved blade, unlit red candles, a bucket of ice, and coils of rope.

“Do you understand your role in this ritual?” II asked. The lower half of his face was coated in gold paint under his black half mask. Intense grey blue eyes followed her as she placed her bag on the floor near the altar.

“I am earth, right?” she said, looking to III who gave her a confirming nod.

II wound a length of red rope around his fist. His arms were bare to the elbow where his sleeves had been pulled up and skin hidden under the same gold paint that adorned his face.

“Earth is usually unmoving,” II said. “Solid. Centered. A balance between life giving, nurturing, mother,” his eyes slid to her belly, then back to meet hers, “and the unrelenting destructive force of… a woman scorned.” He grinned.

Aracelia wondered how much he expected her to live up to either of those ideas. She couldn’t have children; it was one of the reasons she’d been chosen. Hell, it was one of the reasons she’d considered what they offered in the first place. With all the other hoops she had to jump through to be here, this meeting had no consequences. At least none that she foresaw.

On the other hand, she’d not have the rage to be his scorned woman. She had no ill feelings toward any of them, but she kept her mouth shut. If they chose to see her as earth in this equation, she’d not argue.

“What do you prefer to be called?” III asked. “Aracelia?”

She shook her head. “Celie is fine.”

“Let’s get to this. Strip down.”

IV chuckled and II let out an annoyed sigh.

Why did it have to be to awkward? She was going to be nude, it was part of it, but stripping herself in front of them with absolutely no easing into it had her cheeks flushed. Celie tucked her clothes away in her bag and turned to face them, feeling the urge to cover herself but they were already eying her like a piece of meat and her mouth went dry.

“Come,” II motioned and IV began to circle the room. She could hear his leather jacket as he moved, his bare torse underneath painted red that extended all the way up his neck and face to disappear under his half mask. When he came into view again a smile played on his lips, their true color showing through cracks in the crimson.

Celie closed her eyes as II began to wrap her arms in ropes. The soft dragging across her skin along with the cool air on her skin made the hair on the back of her neck stand up. She flinched a little as III came up behind her and began to gather her black curls to the crown of her head. His fingertips through her hair had her breath catching in her throat.

II took his time in wrapping the ropes, binding her arms so they bent at the elbow while III tied her hair in a messy but secure bun. His hands slid down her back and he nipped at her neck from behind when II shooed him away.

“Patience,” II scolded and III glared at him before joining IV in watching as Celie was bound. Every moment that passed removed more and more her ability to move as II connected her wrists behind her neck. He created a collar to bind her wrists to her throat, the intensity in his eyes speaking to his own self-restraint.

“Watch it,” IV growled as II lingered too long around Celie’s breasts, the backs of his fingers lingering on her nipples which were already erect from cold. And partially III’s bite to her neck. It had made her shake but II was intent on taking his time. Meanwhile, III and IV were practically pacing.

II was enjoying himself. A faint smirk on his lips. This wasn’t just about teasing her, it was about testing III and IV. Pushing the limits of their self-control. Once he had her bound down to her hips he motioned the others to assist him in getting her suspended at the right height and position.

Most of her weight was on her hips and shoulders but it wasn’t uncomfortable. She was looking down at the floor, back arched, legs apart. Her head was a little lower than her ass but not to the point that she could feel the blood rushing to her face. II knew what he was doing and she wondered how many of these rituals had taken place before she came around.

“Like a falling angel,” II said, tracing a line down her side, across the ropes that bound her thighs. “But I don’t like this.” He let her hair fall loose from III’s bun, then brushed it gently away from her face. One lst element he added was something akin to a chain dog choker which hung loose around her neck. Admiring his work, II backed away and motioned to III. “She’s all yours. Don’t ruin her before we even get started properly.”

III didn’t reply. He circled Celie like a shark, eyeing every inch of her. If she was earth, the blue of his paint meant he was water. III took the silver bucket of ice and placed a piece her throat, eliciting a small gasp. His hands were so hot they melted the ice on her skin, dragging it along the curve of her breast. Water dripped to the floor and II grumbled.

It didn’t throw III off, however, he got on his knees and used his tongue to remove the excess water from her skin. The mixture of cold from the ice and heat from his mouth made her shiver. He was like a thirsting man in the dessert, soft moans escaping his throat as he sucked her nipples, his tongue encircling them where the water gathered.

Blue paint smeared across her breasts from his lips. Every inch of her body craved more and yet the other two watching and not participating made her feel vulnerable. III’s massive hands slid up her throat, teasing her mouth with an ice cube which she gratefully accepted. His finger slipped in as she did, the taste of his body paint making her grimace.

He chuckled against her chest, easing up until he could kiss her. A piece of ice pressed against her lips and she took it greedily, trying to erase the taste of paint. His hair tickled her cheeks as she tried to deepen the kiss but he sat back on his heels with a mischievous look in his eye.

When he stood she could see his cock crushed against his body in his tight leather pants. He disappeared behind her with the bucket of ice, a pleased hum as he saw that she was wet. Celie’ blushed and bit her lip, unwilling to look at II and IV.

An ice cube against the bare skin of her pussy made her twitch as she tried to pull her legs together. Goosebumps covered her skin but III wasn’t concerned. He pushed an ice cube into her and she gasped at the sensation.

“Quiet her, would you?” III muttered and without question IV stepped in and dropped to his knees, kissing her so hard her teeth cut into her lower lip. Blood trickled from the little cut and he quickly sucked it away, locking eyes with her in a way that made her feel he was staring into her soul.

IV grabbed the chain around her neck and pulled, tightening it somewhat before II caught him.

“That’s mine,” II warned and IV stopped kissing her long enough to bare his teeth at II but stopped the moment II took a step toward him. IV cut his piercing blue eyes at II but released the chain, dragging his nails along her sides instead.

Celie moaned into his mouth, eyes gone wide as III began pushing piece after piece of ice into her. His pace was rapid and her insides already felt full of ice. IV grabbed her face and pushed his tongue past her teeth as III kept stuffing her with ice until water dripped into a puddle on the floor. Having one cube was a nice sensation but there were so many she wondered if it was safe.

III poised his cock to enter her and she tried to protest, to ask if there was room, but he pushed in and ice slid out around him, skittering across the floor. Celie’s eyes rolled back and her breath caught in as a whimper in her throat.

IV laughed darkly, thumbing her nipples. “Keep quiet and take him.”

“Fuck,” III moaned, grabbing her hips and keeping himself deep inside her. IV tilted his head, looking down toward her belly where he placed his hand.

“I can feel how full she is,” IV said, tongue flicking across his lower lip. With every thrust the ice melted around III’s cock which was blindingly hot mixed with the ice. Every inch inside of her was overwhelmed with sensations but she didn’t know if she wanted him to stop. They’d discussed a safe word long before she’d shown up but god she didn’t want to use it.

Her muscles tensed and released as she tried to squirm against the ropes. She wanted to touch, to grab and claw and stroke but was unable and it drove her crazy.

IV shuffled closer to her belly, kissing a line from her belly button to her clit where he greedily lapped at the water that gushed from her every time III drove his cock into her. It was too much all at once and she neared orgasm only for III to bury deep in her and stop moving.

“Listen to her whimper,” IV teased, locking his hands over his head and around her back, pulling her uncomfortably. “She takes you so well.”

“Fuck off and wait your turn,” III said, pushing IV away with his foot. He grabbed the ropes at Celie’s hips and began pounding into her without mercy. Her head swam and he pulled her higher to meet him and the blood rushed to her face. IV cursed at III and rolled out from under Celie, retreating to II.

III swatted Celie’s ass with a sharp strike and she cried out in pain but III groaned as her insides clenched tight around him with the impact.

“III,” II’s tone was dark, warning, but III was undeterred. He wrapped a hand around her throat and pulled her back into him, the ropes no longer holding her weight. Celie’s head fell back against his shoulder words lost on her. He supported her with one hand and struck her again with the other. Tears pricked her eyes and his teeth found her neck but they caught the metal collar, scraping against it. “III, that’s enough,” II demanded and III shot him a bird.

II wound a rope around his fist and stepped up to stop III an instant before III buried his cock deep inside her, his head pounding against her cervix as he came. Celie could feel it pumping inside her as II quickly grabbed her from III and guided her gently back down until the ropes held her once more.

The floor between III’s boots was soaking wet but somehow he’d managed to keep every drop of cum inside of her. Panting he stepped away, cock still twitching. Her orgasm eased away with much frustration.

“That was too far,” II said but III rolled his eyes.

“She didn’t safe word,” he said.

Celie’s heart was pounding, breath escaping her in shaky exhales. Her insides were on fire, her ass throbbing with every beat of her heart from where he struck her. III knelt way down to lift her chin and kiss her tenderly, drawing his thumb across her cheek.

“You took me so fuckin’ well,” he whispered as IV lit one of the red candles on the altar. III’s eyes cut over to IV. “Water has a crushing force, but fire consumes.”

Without explaining he stepped away, hand kneeding his cock through his pants as IV circled her. Candlelight flickered across his mask, several streaks of paint smeared down his torso from sucking water from her body. He licked his lips and stopped in front of her, freeing his cock and poising it at the level of her mouth.

“Maybe this’ll keep you quiet while you get used to what I have to offer,” IV mused, cupping his hand under her throat as she took him between her lips. “Just don’t bite me and maybe we can be friends,” he teased, a rumble in his chest as she sucked the head of his dick, swirling her tongue around it.

If anything, she didn’t want to walk away saying she could have done more. Not that she cried at being spanked. Hot wax down her back caught her off guard and she tensed, arching her back and taking his cock straight to her throat. She could feel the bulge against his palm and her eyes watered so bad she couldn’t see but she could feel his knees almost buckle.

“Holy shit,” he breathed, trying to laugh his way through it. “I’m not comin’ in your mouth love, don’t go so hard, fuck.”

“It’s not her fault you can’t handle some deep throat,” III teased. “She’s so pretty with tears streaking her cheeks.”

IV swatted at III’s hand when he got too close. “You had your turn.”

“And you were practically sucking my dick when I did,” III shot but II stepped between them, pushing III back.

“Don’t get greedy, IV,” II said but IV dripped more wax down Celie’s spine, the crimson beads racing down the curve of her spine before drying. She moaned in a mix of pain and pleasure, clenching and unclenching her fists since it was all she could do.

The scent of his leather jacket was overwhelming in her nose as he pushed in and out of her mouth at a leisurely pace. Her cheeks spread, throat expanded almost to the point of pain but the wax on her skin took some of the attention away from that.

“Don’t damage her larynx,” II said.

“I’m going slow, aren’t I?” IV snapped. “Fuck sake II, you act like I’m trying to suffocate her on my cock. She can’t breathe, she’s fine. It’s that right, sweetheart?”

Celie hummed with the head of his dick against the opening of his throat and his head fell back with a shaky moan. One hand found the back of her head, twisting into her hair as she took him deep, saliva welling up around her lips. He pushed too far, past what she was expecting and she gagged, the heaving sensation accompanied by tears streaking down to her chin.

“Sorry love,” IV said as II was about to scold him. He pulled out of her mouth, placing his thumb on the middle of her tongue. “Look at me.” She obeyed and he bit his lips as he looked down at her, mouth open as she looked at him through dark lashes. “Perfect. Fuckin’ perfect. I think we should keep her.”

“Add your offering and fuck off,” III said, taking IV’s place while he moved around behind her.

Taking III’s cock wasn’t going to work the same way as taking IV’s. It was too damn thick and the head wouldn’t be able to push past her mouth. Still she did what she could considering her mouth was stretched around him. How the hell had she taken him inside of her? The ice must have messed with her perception.

III rubbed the back of her neck, massaging into the hair at the base of her skull as she tasted what remined of their combined juices and water from his skin. She wished she could have come for him, but he didn’t seem to mind that she hadn’t.

IV was in to hurry to fuck her like III had been. He was too involved with dripping wax across her ass cheeks, adding to the burn of IV’s spanking.

“Don’t you fucking hurt her,” IV warned as Celie gagged a little on III.

“Says you leaving welts with your wax.” III arched a brow.

“Act like I don’t see these handprints. You bruised her.”

“Focus,” II said. He was growing impatient and frustrated, hands tight behind his back but she could see the hunger in his eyes. Why hadn’t he joined? Was there a rule she wasn’t aware of? IV had cut in on III’s time but perhaps his role as fire allowed for it?

Achingly slow, IV sank two fingers into Celie’s pussy, testing and teasing.

“Don’t push out my offering,” III warned.

“I just want a taste.”

Celie could hear IV groan and suck his fingers before the soft head of his cock pressed against her. Taking him wasn’t as overstimulating as III but feeling raw skin inside of her set her on fire. No intense heat, no intense cold. Just the velvety sensation of skin on skin and if she wasn’t mistaken, a piercing. Hard and unforgiving but rubbing all the right places.

III in her mouth, IV inside of her and holding perfectly still, hot wax gliding along the ropes. She needed him to move. Needed him to thrust and take her as III had but he buried himself and kept still until she moaned, frustrated, against III’s dick.

“This isn’t the time for cock warming,” II said.

“What happened to patience?” IV teased. He spread her ass apart to get a better view. “Hmm II, you should see how swollen her pretty little cunt is. I think you used too much ice, III.”

“I am going to make you regret this,” II said but III pulled away.

“C’mon,” III said, motioning II to a position at Celie’s head. He hesitated only a moment before stepping up. “And quit being a buzz kill already.”

Celie could take II like she took IV but there was a sense of desperation as if sucking him hard would make IV move inside of her instead of sitting still. Her thighs tried to tighten around his hips to push him into movement but to no avail and she was almost to the point of tears to get some sort of relief.

“My god,” II breathed, wrapping the chain around his fist. “IV, if you don’t start moving she’s going to devour me whole.”

“Who can’t handle head now?” IV smirked and III slapped Celie’s ass again, making her cry out and jump. “Mother fucker,” IV moaned as Celie’s pussy clenched around him at the shock of pain. “Evil bastard, get the hell away.” Wax flung across the floor as IV splashed it toward III, putting the candle out by accident.

II tightened the collar, cutting off air as his cock also pushed into her throat. Without warning, she had no time to take a breath first and her lungs were already burning. Her head swam and dizziness overtook her as she tried to swallow around him to no avail.

She squirmed, feeling a little afraid that she might pass out but as if on cue, IV drew back and pounded into her at the exact moment that II released the chain and pulled his cock away, allowing air to flood into her lungs. The rush was incredible, her pupils dilated, elation rushing into every inch.

“Whatever you just did, do it again,” IV said and II chuckled, pleased with himself.

“Ah, fire needs assistance from air?” II said darkly. IV drew his fingers in a heart shape over one of the handprints on her ass. She got the feeling they were leaving marks all over her body. Not just in the form of welts, bruises, and minor burns, but in the colors of their body paint which had begun to smear from water and sweat.

Celie wanted to beg them to let her come. She’d already been so close but with II’s cock in her mouth she couldn’t ask. IV’s nails dragged down her back and she arched to meet him. He chuckled and kneeded her lower back. Why couldn’t he put those hands to better use? Her clit had been untouched since he sucked it earlier and his long smooth thrusts were driving her crazy.

The collar tightened, restricting her breathing. “Good girl,” II purred, stroking her cheek as he cut off her air. “Don’t struggle, I won’t hurt you. Do you feel your lungs burning? Hmm, your throat is struggling against my cock. Your body craves air, hm?”

“You say I’m evil for a smack on the ass?” III asked IV as he circled and got on his knees, kissing along Celie’s ribs. He pressed his lips to her sternum, hands cupping her breasts. “Her heart is pounding.”

Too many hands. Too many cocks. Too much sensation and not enough air.

Just when darkness eased into her vision, II let go and pulled out again but IV didn’t stop as she gasped for air.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” IV whimpered, his rhythm becoming almost frantic. He was shaking, she could feel it in his grip around her waist.

“Let go, IV,” II said calmly. “Come inside her, IV. Stop delaying the inevitable. Vessel will be here soon and our little chalice in nowhere near ready.”

“Shut up,” IV breathed and Celie panted.

“P-please don’t stop,” she begged, needing some form of release. If IV could keep going just a little longer she could finish and be ready for II. “Please.”

“Listen to her beg,” III said, taking one of her nipples in his teeth. It hurt, sending a jolt of pain to her belly. “She keeps that up and I might agree with IV to keep her.”

IV couldn’t handle the begging and his legs nearly buckled when he came, holding onto the ropes for support but Celie withered, letting her head hang. So fucking close all over again and she was shaking.

“Please,” she begged, tears in her voice.

“Sorry love,” III nipped at her neck. “It’s not your turn.”

II dragged his thumb across her lips, then wiped her tears away, leaving gold paint across her cheeks. “It’ll be worth it in the end, I promise. Hold out just a little longer.”

“Should we get the blood ritual ready?” IV asked breathlessly.

“Yes,” II replied. “I won’t make her suffer much longer.” He leaned in close to her pussy, breath hot on her skin, making her writhe. “You two took too much time. I don’t think she can handle more.”

“It’s okay, I’ll let you tie me up later,” III offered.

“You know, if we keep her, you can have your own fun later,” IV said. They kept referring to keeping her and while she wanted to know exactly what that meant, she’d have done anything they asked for relief.

Celie ached for him to fuck her but all she could hear was him jacking off behind her, the head of his cock grazing her every once in a while.

IV and III sat near Celie’s face, taking turns kissing her while they prepared the blade. They dragged the blade across their forearms just enough for a little blood to fall into the silver goblet that had been on the altar before.

“Are you afraid?” III asked, kissing a line from her jaw to her ear.

Celie couldn’t think clearly enough to know if she felt anything other than sexual frustration. All she could do was shake her head as the blade met the flesh under her right collarbone.

“Take a deep breath,” IV said. “Focus on, III. That’s my good girl.”

III cupper her face and kissed her as IV drew the blade across her skin. She hissed in pain but after IV collected the blood he pressed a clean cloth to the wound.

“Perfect,” he said, him and III peppering her face with kisses. She almost forgot that II was still stroking himself behind her, his soft moans lost in the ringing in her ears.

II barely got the head of his dick into her before he came, twitching and shuddering as he did. She wished she got more time with them. That she could have been free to indulge in them equally and that was enough to bubble up a mix of emotions in her. She knew she’d feel better if they had allowed her to come with them, but they seemed much more intent on making sure that didn’t happen.

Celie didn’t hear the door open, but she did hear it close, the others scattering as Vessel approached. The room fell into silence as II, III, and IV cleaned their wounds and took places around the circle.

Vessel got on one knee to look her in the eye but she couldn’t see anything past the multi eyed slits of his mask. His mouth was relaxed, giving nothing away as to what he was thinking or feeling. Even his footsteps were silent as he backed away. The only sound he made was the gentle tinkling of his necklaces when he moved.

He motioned and the others immediately encircled her, IV and III holding her in position as II untied her. They came off with surprising ease. III held her up as IV covered the floor with a plush mat. Gently III eased her to the floor and helped her to her back without spilling their offerings.

She became the altar.

Vessel’s black painted hands hovered barely over her skin as he knelt between her knees. The others sat around the circle in silence. Celie shuddered, feeling she was breathing too hard. For the first time she could see parts of her own body, smeared with red, gold, and blue paint. She wanted to touch herself or at least to clench her thighs tight together but Vessel put a knee between her legs, but not touching her.

He leaned over her, bracing on his hands, his necklaces tickling her belly.

II tasted the blood in the goblet and kissed Vessel, lingering as Vessel traced his fingertips across II’s jaw. III was next, pushing against Vessel, which elicited an amused chuckle from him as he gently pushed III away, a drop of blood dripping onto Celie’s throat. IV was last but he was just as greedy with Vessel as he had been with Celie, blood spattering down on her as he crushed his mouth against Vessel’s.

“You lost control with this one.” Vessel’s tone was soft when he looked down on Celie, his tongue slowly swiping the blood from her throat before kissing her. She couldn’t help but slip her hands under his hood, feeling his hair between her fingers as she pulled him close, desperate for anything he’d give her.

He hummed against her lips, then pulled away, indulging in her body with a line of kissed down her throat, across the marks from II’s chain. Lips feather light between her breasts, dragging across her belly in a way that made her whimper in desperation. She needed him. Needed relief.

She thought she was going to black out when his tongue entered her. The urge to grab him was overwhelming but III said that during this part she wasn’t supposed to touch him. II took her hands in his own from where he sat by her head. Vessel drank of them. His tongue delved deep, searching for his offering in quiet desperation.

Celie’s legs shook, the scent of blood and incense clung to Vessel and made her feel dizzy. Long shadows across the ceiling added to the sensation of the room spinning.

Vessel’s mouth was on hers again so fast she didn’t know what to expect, the taste of cum and blood on his lips. II let her go and she put her arms around Vessel’s neck.

He sat up and pulled her into his lap. His pants were pulled down just enough to show where the black paint smeared across his pale hips and she willingly slid down on him, enveloping him entirely. He was as desperate with his kisses as III had been drinking the water from her skin before. Black smears covered over the colorful ones the others had left as he ran his hands along her body.

The warmth of his skin, the way he caressed her, the desire in his kiss, brought tears to her eyes. She didn’t think she could get behind it being a ritual. She didn’t think she could see it as more than an intense sexual encounter but after what she’d been though, only to be treated so lovingly by Vessel was the closest thing she could attribute to a spiritual awakening.

“What a beautiful altar,” he whispered against her skin. “You were too rough with her,” he said, tracing the line of II’s chain around her throat to a place where she’d been bitten and a bruise had begun to form. His kiss was light and gentle, fingertips sinking into the soft flesh of her thighs, feeling his way around stretchmarks that made her wince.

Celie’s hands went to cover the marks but Vessel caught her wrists, pressing his thumbs into her palms. He shook his head.

“Don’t be insecure,” he said. “The nature of the body is imperfection, that’s what makes it beautiful.”

He rocked her on his hips and continued to caress her stretch marks, moving up her ribs to her sides which still stung from IV’s nails. Vessel’s teeth grazed her jaw and he kissed a line to the bite mark and gave her a gentle nip.

III had mentioned that sometimes Vessel liked to bite but that he’d not go too far. She wondered if he was holding back because she was already sore and marked by those who came before. He was being gentle but there was a deliberate motion to his hips. He wanted more. Every time he pushed into her drove her closer to the edge. Whether he was ready or not, she couldn’t wait any longer.

Begging had done no good before and there was no fighting the chills Vessel gave her. How did it seem that his hands, his mouth, was everywhere all at once? The taste of tears on his tongue confused her. Were they hers or his? The others melted away as her body began to cave to his touch.

He cradled the back of her neck and pulled her close, allowing her to cling to him as she was finally allowed release. While he wasn’t as vocal about it as the others, he kept her close when he came, biting her shoulder as he did.

Every ounce of energy left her body and she went limp against Vessel. Her head swam as the others closed in, muttering things too quiet for her to hear as they kissed her and Vessel on the cheeks.

“So, can we keep her?” III asked and IV swatted at his chest.

Vessel smirked down at Celie where she was practically asleep against him, arms curled in close to his chest. “That would be up to her.”

[solhwellness]

Catching Early Signs And Symptoms Of Suicidal Behavior | Solh Wellness

Despite being a severe and very troubling problem, suicide is not a mental illness. Instead, it symbolizes the excruciating and sometimes disastrous outcome that can be brought on by mental illnesses that are not appropriately managed or treated. From severe depression and bipolar disorder to post-traumatic stress disorder and substance use disorders, these underlying diseases span a wide range. We will talk about the early warning signs and symptoms of suicidal behavior in this conversation, as well as the precautions a caregiver can take.

Suicide Warning Signs:

Being able to recognize suicide warning signals is essential for early intervention and support. These warning signs include various mental and behavioral changes, such as:

Persistent Emotional Distress:Swings in mood, unplanned outbursts of rage, or protracted, extreme depression may be signs of underlying emotional pain. For instance, a typically upbeat person can go through a prolonged depressive episode.

Overwhelming pessimism: A red flag might be an extremely negative outlook on the future and the conviction that nothing can be done to change it. A complete lack of hope or the incapacity to envision a brighter future are common expressions.

Sleep Disturbances: Sleeping patterns that significantly alter, such as difficulty falling asleep or excessive sleep, may be a sign of mental distress.

Abrupt Calmness: An abrupt and speedy return to tranquility after a period of sadness or rage could be cause for alarm. This sudden calm could be a sign that the person is prepared to end their life.

Social Withdrawal: Depression, a key risk factor for suicide, may manifest as a loss of interest in once-loved hobbies and a preference for isolation over social interaction. Avoiding your friends or favorite pastimes is one way to do this.

Personality or Appearance Changes: Suicidal individuals could exhibit observable changes in their mood or behavior, such as speaking or moving unusually quickly or slowly. They could also appear to be unconcerned with how they look.

Self-Destructive Behaviour: Suicidal ideation may be indicated by negative behaviors that put one's safety in peril, such as reckless driving, unsafe sexual behavior, or increased substance misuse.

Recent Life Crises:Suicidal thoughts can be sparked by major life changes including the loss of a loved one, the end of a relationship, the diagnosis of a serious illness, the loss of a job, or financial difficulties.

Preparatory Actions: Some persons who are contemplating suicide start to organize their affairs, which may include calling or visiting friends and family, donating things, creating a will, or setting up their living space. You may even leave a letter behind.

Verbal or implied threats: Many people who are considering suicide will unintentionally or overtly tell acquaintances or family members. These safety measures could entail often discussing mortality or saying things such as, "It would be better if I weren't here." Because not everyone will be truthful about their intentions, suicide threats need to be taken seriously.

The caregiver should take the following activities if a loved one is exhibiting suicidal behavior:

When compared to people who experience social isolation, having supportive friends and family and having access to mental health facilities dramatically reduces the risk that someone will act on suicidal thoughts. If you come across someone who exhibits indicators of suicide ideation, keep the following in mind:

Initiate the Conversation:Ask if they are depressed or considering suicide without fear.

Enquire About Treatment: Ask if they are currently taking any medications or going to therapy.

Offer Hope:Reassure them that depression is a temporary illness that can be treated rather than attempting to talk them out of suicide.

Show You Care: Some people merely want to be liked and to know that others are receptive to hearing their worries. After that, you can convince them to seek expert assistance.

Conclusion

Untreated mental illnesses like depression, bipolar disorder, and substance use disorders can have dangerous side effects, one of which is suicide. Early warning signs include persistent mental anguish, excessive pessimism, sleep issues, social withdrawal, personality changes, self-destructive behavior, recent tragedies, preparation acts, and verbal threats. When a loved one exhibits symptoms of depression or suicidal ideation, caregivers can help them by talking with them, asking about treatment options, expressing genuine concern, and offering encouragement.

Since we at Solh think that mental health is important, we have selected a variety of effective self-help techniques to improve your mental wellbeing. We provide a variety of services, including goal-setting, mood analysis, self-assessment tests, journaling, and access to a vast collection of educational materials. Utilize our wide range of self-help resources to take control of your path to improved mental health and personal growth.

[z34l0t]

"These attacks are not merely “violence” in some general sense, nor are they similar to other gun crimes classified as “mass shootings” beyond the number of victims. Drug-war shoot-outs and gang vendettas are awful, but they are better-understood problems, in both their origins and possible remedies. The Lost Boys, however, are the perpetrators of out-of-the-blue massacres of innocents. Their actions are not driven by criminal gain, but instead are meant to shock us, to make us grieve, and finally, to force us to acknowledge the miserable existence of the young men behind the triggers."

[...]

"The Lost Boys are mostly young and male, largely middle- or working-class. Frustrated by their own social awkwardness, they are so often described as “loners” that the trope has been around from as early as the 1980s. But these young males, no matter how “quiet,” are filled with an astonishing level of enraged resentment and entitlement about their roles as men, and they seek rationalizations for inflicting violence on a society they think has both ignored and injured them. They become what the German writer Hans Magnus Enzensberger called “radical losers,” unsuccessful men who feel that they have been denied their dominant role in society and who then channel their blunted male social impulses toward destruction."

"And they are, above all, staggeringly narcissistic. Almost all of the recent mass killers, for example, thought they had a special mission in the world. We know this because they felt compelled to tell us so."

[...]

"Many of the Lost Boys claim to represent various causes derived from a wide spectrum of sources—sexism, racism, religious bigotry, conspiracy kookery, and anti-government extremism among them. (Nor are all of these aimless young men killers: When I first examined this problem, I also identified a type of Lost Boy who convinces himself that he’s doing good, such as Bowe Bergdahl, who thought of himself as the fictional action hero Jason Bourne when he deserted his military unit in Afghanistan in 2009, and Edward Snowden, who is the embodiment of a particular kind of nonviolent but nonetheless highly destructive misfit.)"

"Narcissism is a common malady, but for the Lost Boys, it is the indispensable primer for a bomb whose core is an unstable mass of insecurities about masculine identity. This, of course, helps explain why such spectacular and ghastly acts are an almost entirely male phenomenon. Women, who are less prone to commit violence in general, are rarely the perpetrators of these kinds of senseless massacres. In general, they do not share the same juvenile fantasies of power and dominance that are common to adolescent boys. Nor do they tend to harbor the same resentments about sex and status that are common to all teenagers but that in the Lost Boys persist beyond adolescence and soon grow to volcanic levels."

[...]

"Fear of women and hatred of minorities, animosity toward authority, patterns of absent or dysfunctional fathers, histories of being bullied, romance with symbols of power, conflicts of identity and sexuality—we can catalog at length the similarities among these young misfits. They are, in the main, scared and narcissistic boys, and like many boys teetering on the cusp of manhood, they are tormented by paradoxes: insecure but drenched in self-regard, fearful yet brave, full of self-doubt yet fascinated by heroism. For most males, this is a transitory part of adolescence. For the Lost Boys, it is a permanent condition, a deadly combination of stubborn immaturity and towering narcissism."

[hotdogdynamitezzz]

Lilith's Dark Secrets

Black Moon Lilith is a calculated point in the birth chart that is along the Moon's orbit and farthest away from the earth. This point isn’t a planet or asteroid but instead a point symbolizing vengeance, destructiveness, ostracization, deep jealousy, and sexual promiscuity. Black Moon Lilith in our charts is what we are, how we act as it is self-destructive in nature. The house placement of BML determines where we experience the mistreatment mentioned below.

⚠️TW: mentions of physical/emotional cruelty, bullying, and substance abuse. This is a dark post read with caution. This doesn't mean you will experience it yourself.

Plug in h12 on astro.com under extended chart selection.

To be clear, I am explaining the mistreatment, misfortune, deception, and manipulation that comes with each lilith placement. I explain the mistreatment in correlation with the zodiac sign/houses area of life. Therefore, this isn't a beginner post as it's expected you understand each house.

🦋 Lilith in Aries/First House: There's usually a theme for being outcasted from other people, especially during first impressions due to your diversity. People end up becoming unwilling to accept your individuality and differences as your presence stirs the pot and leaves them uneasy. Often times you experience hate and unjust jealousy for wearing clothes that express yourself, voicing opinions, or just being in the room. Your presence is enough to piss people off as they paint you to be rude, aggressive, and manipulative when you’re sweet and soft on the inside. They’re criticized for going against the mainstream flow which can result in slut-shaming and bullying.

🦋 Lilith in Taurus/2nd House: Your beauty, voice, glamour, and body are seen as a powerhouse and force to be reckoned with like many rappers and female beauty icons who have this placement. Yet, this destroys your confidence as you’re only seen as an object of desire. People only want to use you to climb the ladder and get ahead, people treat you like an asset and tool for fame and money. You’re want to be recognized for who you are as a person, not flaunted around for your looks. Being the victim of monetary or material blackmail was how others controlled you.

🦋 Lilith in Gemini/3rd House: Early school years may have been a traumatizing period in your life. Insecurity involving how you speak and think results from being criticized for having a unique voice, different perceptive skills, and overall an individualistic way of communicating with others. You end up feeling shut down and afraid to voice your opinion on any topic, creating a false meekly shy persona that doesn’t reflect your real personality. You could be a chatterbox on the inside and voice brilliant ideas yet no one accepts this. Your ideas are highly likely to be copied or you’re accused of copying people’s projects.

🦋 Lilith in Cancer/4th House: Emotional codependency was forced onto you in a toxic manner. This involves blackmail, withholding love and affection, and deceptiveness expressed within the family. Whether it's you who is codependent on your family's attachment or your family relies on you to the point of exhaustion, there's an emotionally constrictive theme present. Your relationship with females and parents might be strained, as you often experience malice or resentment from those who possess feminine or motherly energy. You've experienced manipulation frequently and are aware of the tactics people use to control those they love, therefore you can end up becoming manipulative yourself but most of the time it's used for your own survival and emotional protection. ⚠️TW: there are patterns of this placement falling victim to emotional or physical cruelty from the family.

🦋 Lilith in Leo/5th House: Your childhood may have been lost, often you were told not to express your childish personality and joyful expressions or you were forced to put it on display and fake being happy to put on a "show" others approved of. Many wounds come from the hindrance of creativity and hobbies you got to experience or the fear of letting others' expectations down. This has to do with performing, stage fright, and the inability to openly go after your passions. Others' judgement and ridicule bogged your free spirit down and made you develop an ordinary minuscule persona. Being bullied or having deep wounds from past relationships and crushes are common, you want to feel special and worthy of love but you are usually left as the side piece or fun fling people make fun of.

🦋 Lilith in Virgo/6th house: health problems, medical misconduct, the wounds from pets dying, and your overachiever mindset has plagued your life more times than you can count. Working part-time jobs while for many can be fun and exciting, however for you it brings some left behind trauma with co-workers and scheduling that left you in the dark and used. You probably felt like a robot as you were raised, being told to do nothing but work and study yet still never being good enough. You could have taken the same judgemental attitude towards others by ridiculing and belittling other people if they aren't seen as good enough in your eyes due to the expectant and condescending environment of your jobs or parents.

🦋 Lilith in Libra/7th house: Falling victim to being the hidden sidepiece or unrequited love is something you're accustomed to and weary of. Most of the time when you get into a relationship there is a third party pining after them or a crazy ex involved. You are seen as innocent and sweet, people assume you'd do no harm. However, this couldn't be further from the truth. Your toxic side reveals itself from the shadows in relationships and where you showcase manipulative, over-controlling, and overly jealous behaviors stemming from past relationship traumas or intimacy issues. A lot of women distrust you, think you are secretive and fake, criticize your appearance, and most definitely spread rumours and gossip surrounding your promiscuity. More often than not you have male or masculine friends and most of your relationships are based on exchanges like clout = love, or money = love, because your relationships focus on compromising or losing your self identity. This is the epitome of the best friend who steals boyfriend arc from what I've witnessed as you may experience your partner cheating or being taken away from you.

🦋 Lilith in Scorpio/8th house: The fear of letting go, you may have been exposed to your fears or generally inappropriate behaviour from an early age that most kids wouldn't comprehend at that age. There's a theme of exposure and patterns in your life because this is the sign and house of regeneration and transformation. that means, old toxic habits can be passed down and reoccur in your life frequently. You may constantly deal with the same types of toxic people or constantly go through periods of debts and loans. often times people will pray on your downfall, purposely trying to sabotage you in the shadows as you just go about your day. There's a big sense of unfairness, you were always getting the short end of the stick in your family while others inherited more desirable things or gifts from your parents. You are the shadow, your emotions get pushed to the side and you are forced to solve many problems thrown at you by other people. these problems are usually financial as well as emotional baggage. You're very protective of your energy for this very reason as the closest people to you tend to be energy vampires and you find it hard to escape a difficult life. This placement craves stability the most.

🦋 Lilith in Sagittarius/9th House: Education has been a longhaul for you, it feels like a trainwreck and you don't feel free to study the subjects you want. that, or professors constantly try to undermine you and mistreatment occurs within educational and religious institutions. This is the archetype that reminds me of the priest using his authority to misbehave. Or, professors using their knowledge and power to do what they want while you the student are thrown under the bus constantly. Beliefs are usually forced from the family or community which result in feeling outcasted within those environments as you want to explore new areas of religion or studies. There's deception between what you're told to believe vs what is actually right. People use knowledge to control you which you're often aware of and despise. I do see purity culture common here as it ties into what you're told to religiously follow and what is deemed as acceptable in order to control you. Transportation can be dangerous as you probably have less than stellar interactions with people on there. Sometimes this placement can attract potential stalkers as people who are lost in life constantly seek you out to guide them and could even worship you to an extent (vice versa too). There's a dehumanizing theme that occurs with the house of the divine and higher knowledge involved with your mistreatment.

🦋 Lilith in Capricorn/10th House: You're feared in the workspace and hold the ultimate authority, but often fell victim to bosses misusing power to control you before gaining respect. There's a threat seen with your presence as you are skilled and intelligent, specifically with business and management. Others assume you're the favourite out of jealousy but you've been pushed beyond your limits by your family's expectant attitudes which usually ends in a damaged relationship with the father who possessed most power, control, and the means to destroy your family. People will try to take you down in the workplace, blame you for mistakes, and sabotage you through flase accusations or monetary blackmail. However, after experiencing the downfall period, you end up gaining mass amounts of respect and power as well as misusing your power to gatekeep it from others.

🦋 Lilith in Aquarius/11th House: cancelled, always being cancelled. This placement is the archetype of cancel and stan culture turning toxic and unjust. You were either the victim or user of these tactics because you believed in one ideal only or you went against popular beliefs. Celebrities and fandoms may mistreat you, the internet is kind of a scary place for you. There's this fear about standing up for what's right because you often got cut off in friend groups after expressing your concerns. There was definitely gossip, rumours, and backstabbing that surrounded your life and people didn't want to give you a chance as this was your reputation in communities and you feared being persecuted for speaking the truth.

🦋 Lilith in Pisces/12th house: ⚠️TW: but every time I see this placement in someone they've always been through drug addiction or had/have parents struggling with drug addiction, this can go for alcohol or any substance as well. These individuals have experienced the misfortune sides of life too many times to count, often hidden enemies appearing as your friends or emotional support systems, knowing people in hospitals and prisons, and often become used to those environments. Your own dark emotions feel hidden to you and others, you may use escapism in any form to cope or feel swallowed whole by these dark emotions. It's hard for you to rationalize what you're feeling or sense in others but you possess a radar that can pinpoint others' vibes or intentions, you just struggle to pinpoint the reasonings. Sometimes sudden deaths within the family or close ones can appear here, there's such a big theme of hidden and misfortunate events that take you by storm whether it being randomly evicted, or suddenly your best friend of 10 years burns your house down. Whatever it may be you can sense but don't see it coming. People here are skilled at pretending or lying but, this it's used for protecting themselves from the world. Sadly you end up hiding too much, never feeling free enough to comfortably express yourself.

[middlenamesage]

Black Moon Lilith and Lilith the Character Archetype: My Reflections Coming out of Black Moon Lilith Conjunct the North Node

Following the astrological transits, both the collective and my personal, I have for a while noticed that when Black Moon Lilith is at play, it’s really hard for this to go unnoticed in my life. I always could sense this energy, I knew what it felt like, but used to find it hard to describe, or at least to dissect enough to understand with any valuable meaning.

Physically speaking, the astronomical point known in astrology as Black Moon Lilith is the point along the Moon’s orbit that is farthest from Earth (the lunar apogee), a point that changes position in the zodiac along with the changing orbit of the moon. To me it makes sense this point can be so potentially relevant to us, as all living beings are very much guided by the Moon, who keeps us in connection with each other. Out where the Black Moon is, in this metaphorical place of exile, it’s more of an “every man (or woman!) for himself!” vibe. Lilith is very much about the instinct of self preservation. It’s about resisting control or exploitation by others (and/or internalizing its effects). Often the two occur together as two faces of the same trauma. Black Moon Lilith represents the areas where life has taught us that we absolutely must advocate for ourselves. However, she can also bring shame and denial of wants wherever she is placed, or transiting, because this is something that generally develops where we have been told or shown we can’t have something.

Black Moon Lilith is in fact named for Lilith in the old testament/Jewish folklore, and the way we have come to make sense of its effects (rather, its correlations to our lives) is in considerable measure inspired by this character, and her archetype- who has many interpretations. Lilith was Adam’s first wife, before Eve, who left his ass! She refused to lie beneath him during sex, saying they were created equal. I think we can interpret this metaphorically, of course, as resistance to being controlled in many potential terms… but also literally, as there is a focus of unconstrained sexuality concerning Lilith, which I have observed has some definite relevance to the Black Moon too, but is far from the only or even the most important way to understand it.

Various legends say that after fleeing Eden, Lilith went on to become a she-demon/succubus/baby kidnapper/baby killer/so on….. (those are just the accusations I’m recalling off the top of my head). But over these many years, Lilith has picked up many other story lines, provided inspiration for phenomena such as Black Moon Lilith, and gained many evolving faces and interpretations. Other than being a religious figure, and/or a she-demon, some of her contemporary associations include witchcraft/dark magic, creative renditions in fantasy and horror, gothic culture, and the biggest switch of all, her status as the first feminist.

As a potent force from the most distant shadows of the Moon’s reach, where connection to one another is compromised and we must turn to ourselves to defend our basic natures, I’ve found that Black Moon Lilith can have both positive correlations- such as going one’s own way where it truly benefits one’s life, putting one’s foot down to mistreatment, and stepping into one’s personal power- and negative correlations such as pushing away and/or disregarding other people, general concern with defending one’s own initiatives, to the point where it is premature or anti-productive, and the shame, denial and/or rage that many have developed from being disallowed their power by others.

How we express Black Moon Lilith can be instigating healthy boundaries on one hand, and setting up unnecessary walls of defense on the other. It can be self respect on one hand, and self obsession/failure to consider others, on the other. It can be self protection on one hand, and self sabotage on the other. It can be shame and denial over who we really are/what we really want on one hand, and it can be where we liberate ourselves from shame on the other. Very often, it seems to dole out as a complicated mix of both the “bad” and the “good”.

It used to be that reflecting on my own experiences, despite my fascination with it, there was very little “good” I saw about the Black Moon’s correlations in my life. I came to associate the energy of Black Moon Lilith with a few of my “trauma responses” that have caused me to sabotage relationships. I felt she had helped me stand up for myself/walk away from people a few times when I actually needed to, but for the most part, she seemed to just make me quick to unconsciously wreck budding relationships, reject others, put up lots of walls, or not want to cooperate/compromise with others- even though this was also betraying my own desires deep down to be close with others. My natal Lilith is in Libra in my 7th house, so the relational element of her is especially relevant.

I think that this Black Moon wound of mine in the realm of partnerships has several big origins/perpetuators I can site, but one of the first and biggest that I can consciously analyze, is having internalized the messages I was told by a parent growing up (not necessarily said in as blunt of terms as I received them) that no one would ever want to be with me because I am too difficult to live with. (I was also shown this when my parents sent me elsewhere to live.) Internalizing this message about myself stripped away my personal power when it comes to partnerships. For so long I approached all relationships assuming they were damned to end before they ever got too serious (something I still do struggle with), and I long believed, a belief that at some times was not as much conscious as it was confirmed with my deeply engrained unconscious behaviors of sabotage, that a ‘true’ and committed relationship is simply something I can’t have. This long internalized belief has given rise to many of my independent behaviors in relationships... both in destructive ways that compromise my connection with others and/or alienate them, and in positive senses that protect my individuality and self respect.

Here’s the thing. I was never wrong to see my trauma responses in the force of Black Moon Lilith. Black Moon Lilith and Lilith the archetype are in fact rooted in trauma. We mustn’t trivialize that part. The defense mechanisms, rage, shame, denial, sabotage, the desire to leave people and things behind, and the general mechanisms for self-preservation which can accompany Lilith stem from instances where we have felt held down, lead to believe we don’t have power, mistreated, and in some cases even horribly abused/violated. But the reality of Black Moon Lilith’s painful origins does not make it all a bad thing! It can be a very empowering thing potentially, because where we are hurt is also where we can find the avenues for healing, and for gaining acceptance of our most authentic self and desires. And there is a very good reason we develop many of these less than savory reactions from traumatic experiences and messaging. Lilith teaches us to recognize our boundaries, and to reclaim the personal power that once was lost! - even if at times we may run too far with these prerogatives in stubborn quests for independence and personal autonomy wherever she resides.

Though I have been fascinated by and intent to ponder Black Moon Lilith for probably over a year now, my reflections on it, and later on the character Lilith for which the lunar apogee is named, have really gained a lot of new ground during this last month+ of Black Moon Lilith’s conjunction to the North Node. (Which is currently separating, but still in effect.) The Lunar North Node is another very important point in relation to the Moon’s orbit, which shows the path forward. Black Moon Lilith with the North Node in Gemini has proven too be so ripe with many new experiences for me to learn about Lilith. It’s hard to say if anything has actually changed about my relationship with Lilith, or if I am just starting to see more of the positive in her that was always there, instead of just noticing and perpetuating the glaring negative. Also, I decided it was about time to accept Lilith as a part of who I am. I can’t deny the power the associated energies and the archetype has had on my life, so I might as well embrace it- both the good parts and the parts that are a work in progress. (And that is the story of my new little stud earrings with the Black Moon Lilith symbol!)

One aspect of my relationship with Lilith that I think actually has started to bloom forth in more of a clear-cut positive way with this Lilith-North Node transit, is finding the power to actively and productively embrace a part of myself, via finding/claiming opportunities to keep cultivating this part, even though it’s meant having to disregard my reservations, and even fighting through some shame. I can see now that there is a whole world of great personal empowerment to be tapped into with Lilith, and not just in the ability to leave people behind. (But of course leaving people behind is one means she’ll employ, if it is necessary for stepping into her power!)

I have always seen myself as a writer. It’s not even by choice, and a great deal of the time, for a very long time, I have really resented this natural compulsion of mine. You see, I have a deeply complicated relationship with writing, one that undoubtedly needs some healing. Well, this Black Moon Lilith/North Node conjunction in Gemini, moving through my 3rd house of communications (and as I only found out the other day, also conjunct my natal White Moon Selena, i.e. the lunar perigee/polarity to Black Moon Lilith) ended up bringing me my first opportunities ever getting paid to write… something I guess I just used to assume I couldn’t do, due to my lack of a college degree, as well as the difficult relationship with writing and my paralyzing perfectionism. But with this transit, I placed aside my assumptions of what wasn’t possible for me, and I have some hope now that accepting the opportunity to write for other people, on subjects that generally don’t even mean anything to myself, may just turn out to be the good dose of objectivity needed to help restore some healing to my writing relationship.

Once again, where you’ll find the wounds in your relationship with your personal power, is also where you’ll find how to heal them, and use them to empower yourself and others- and that healing is really what Black Moon Lilith conjunct the North Node has been trying to facilitate for us all. Of course, the process is basically never straightforward and easy, nor all enjoyable. This transit has brought a wide range of Lilith experiences in my life to comment upon.

Some other occurrences have been: abruptly ending an extended off and on relationship with someone where there was always a good deal of power struggle (and would have been power imbalance if I had not stood my ground in a lot of instances), unconsciously driving away or creating distance with a few friends, being consciously and stubbornly persistent in putting more distance between myself and my family than ever before, and facing a couple situations providing awkward trial and error experiments in how I communicate my dissatisfaction to others who wronged me. But I know that all of these experiences are helping me to evolve, and to better understand my responses which stem from wounds that have set into me with the nature of Black Moon Lilith.

And I marvel at the fact that millions of other humans have also been going through experiences which are forcing them to confront and/or evolve their own instincts and behaviors associated with the Black Moon, whether they realize it or not.

Lilith says, “These are my boundaries[or conditions]. You will respect them, or I am outta here.” She says, ‘I know what I am capable of, so I’m gonna fight for it- even if I have to shut out other people.” The placement of our natal Black Moon Lilith shows a prominent area where power has been stolen from us, whether through physical or psychological means (and where the Black Moon is transiting can bring up these issues in other areas, as well). Lilith develops from a wound, and her determination to not feel the powerlessness again can serve as either the healing or the perpetuation of it.

* * * * * * * * * * *

P.S.

For any astro heads reading this with this knowledge of their birth chart, I welcome you to comment or reflect on where 5° Gemini falls in your chart. This is where the (currently separating) conjunction of Black Moon Lilith and the North Node occurred, so the house in your natal chart where it’s transiting, and any natal placements that may be in aspect to this point, especially conjunctions and oppositions, may be able to show where/how you have embodied or encountered Black Moon Lilith energy in recent times.

NOTE :

If anyone is wondering which “Lilith” in astrology I have been referring to, since it is a fairly infamous fact that there are actually 4 things bearing this name in astrology… I have for the most part only followed the mean calculation of Black Moon Lilith (and with Black Moon Lilith’s conjunction to the North Node, mean Lilith is what I’m referring to).

There is also Osculating Black Moon Lilith (aka True Lilith), which is a different calculation of the same concept I have discussed with Black Moon Lilith. A calculation that is actually technically more precise about the moon’s orbit, for the moment that it is taken, as the lunar apogee technically jumps around a little bit a whole lot… yet I have personally found Mean Lilith to be more worth following, especially when following collective transits, if trying to examine the effects of something lingering over an extended period of time, or if conceptualizing Black Moon Lilith’s cycles throughout the entire zodiac. I don’t doubt that the calculation of osculating Black Moon Lilith (which often is not too far from the mean calculation) has a lot of validity to it too though, perhaps especially for natal chart interpretations, and progressions.

As for the other two Liliths, there is the asteroid Lilith- but that is named for a French composer, not the Lilith archetype as we know her. Not saying it isn’t something worth looking into, it just hasn’t been a point of focus for me. And lastly, there is Dark Moon Lilith (aka Waldemath Moon), which is said to be a dark body of unknown origin revolving around the Earth- but there is a lot of debate as to whether it actually exists. I don’t have an opinion one way or another, and I haven’t followed it in transits. However, its placement in my natal chart, with an opposition to Black Moon Lilith for one, does peak my interest.

[touchmycoat]

on Promising Young Woman

i was hesitant to watch bc i knew a spoiler, but @trixree convinced me to watch it and i’m very glad i did. all things aside, it’s just damn well-written—pacing’s top-notch, every act shift was action-driven with a female lead, and it balanced the pleasure of a revenge fantasy against the soul of the story SO well.

thoughts & spoilers below

elephant in the room: yeah I hesitated to watch the movie because I know Cassie gets murdered in the end. After watching the scenes that followed, I...have a better understanding of why that was the choice. I still hated that it happened, period. I literally said “fuck you” out loud to the morning after shot, with the sunlight pouring down on her in the white outfit and she had her arms outstretched—yes, she’s a martyr, yes, she’s the “morning angel,” but fuck that, I didn’t need her to be a martyr. I so desperately wanted the movie to give her more than that.

Like Jenna and Wesley said, it was a superhero movie. That lasted until the choice to kill her.

Thoughts on why they did it: for the ironic morning after, where the audience sees not-Zac Efron sob and whine about how he’s going to lose his marriage and family and job after he just knowingly murdered a woman. Where we get to see Schmidt (fnjdnfjdnf what a casting choice, i lost my mind) say the words to Al Monroe that women like Nina needed to hear—it’s not your fault. None of it was your fault. We get to see the violent and continuous forgiveness of men that dead girls have and continue to pay for.

But my question is, what part of the movie managed to give the audience comfort that legal authority is the solution to this problem? The ending felt squeaky clean wrapped-up, yes, but the anxiety that ran deepest for me throughout this entire film was the fact that Cassie was leaving these men alive. All the men she’s found in the clubs, the man whose car she smashed, the entire law firm that specializes in burying rape cases—to me, every man she left alive was one more factor that could come back and bite her. That was my concern, and it was by no means alleviated by the scene with Bo Burnham and the detective right before the wedding.

I guess that circles back to the question of what the film is trying to be, though. It’s a different take on a revenge thriller. It isn’t meant to deliver a smash-burn-kill catharsis. Rather, it operates on a realer level. Which I love, actually! When she told the fedora guy that she’s not the only one who does it, it felt like a very enticing call-to-action lmao, and like a moment that ought to haunt the “good guys” that watch this film. The movie did so well to manifest and deliver the “enough is fucking enough” attitude that everybody ought to have about sexual assault under the influence.

More on why they killed Cassie: to really lean into the specter of Nina who has so haunted the entire narrative. Even handcuffed to the bed, Al Monroe never said the word “rape.” Nobody wants to, they keep skirting around it and refusing to acknowledge it for what it is. That’s why the movie does it for us, the audience. Instead of saying it, the movie gives its thesis on what rape actually is—a murder. A squeezing-out of a woman’s existence. Al Monroe rapes and kills Nina Fisher before the start of the movie, and the movie ends with Al Monroe killing Cassie. It ends with the violent burning of Cassie’s body, and fucking Schmidt kicking her hand with the childishly painted nails back into the bonfire. The parallel destruction of women is evident.

Did the ending feel like enough of a resurrection?

On a fandom level, I am happy to do the work of seeing the Romance in it. Cassie evidently anticipated her own death, perhaps even sought it—it’s easy to picture a fic focused on Cassie’s thoughts pre-bachelor party, where she’s just so happy to finally be joining Nina again. Where she gets to sign a text Love, Cassie & Nina. I fucking adore how much of an agent she was in the action throughout the entire movie, and the ending definitely did some work in resurrecting that agency.

On a real life level though, I’m so, so fucking sad she essentially had to commit suicide to get the justice she sought. She really is a martyr, but no part of the story indicated she was happy to be. There’s no relief in what she chose—it was simply what had to be done, because nobody else would do a goddamn thing.

Oh boy, the movie did so well to play Ryan as a good guy up until the very end. When time came for him to own up to his mistakes, he flipped like a fucking dime. Suck it #NotAllMen.

The evocations of childhood were interesting. We have the notebook, the scrunchie, the pink bedroom, the childhood photos, the juice box, the friendship necklaces, the painted nails. What is that doing?

- It’s a visual touch point for the arc words “we were just kids!” used as a protestation by rapists and assaulters to excuse their actions. Men get to be “kids” who made mistakes, women get repeated insistence that their actions have consequences, that they shouldn’t have gotten that drunk.

- It signifies Cassie’s vulnerability, her childhood best friend that she’s never been able to move on from. Functionally, I thought it was a brilliant way of grounding how tender the center of her story is, that she’s actually operating from a very simplistic point of pain and loss, considering how cool and violent she gets to be throughout most of the movie.

- It becomes a symbol for destroyed innocence when it’s the last bit of Cassie we see before her body’s burned. The movie re-positioned the meaning of this word “innocence,” I think. It’s not about women being ruined after rape, it’s about these women being people. Cassie’s last monologue about Nina does so much work to hammer that home—Nina’s value was never about innocence before or after her assault, it was never diminished. She was loved because of who she was as a person, but Al Monroe squeezed the life out of her anyways. Childhood and innocence become about the happiness that existed before men attacked, and the men get to symbolically destroy it one more time with a kick into the pyre. But then comes the resurrection, and in a way, the movie returns Cassie to that happiness with the last texts she got to sign with her best friend and a winky face.

The penitent lawyer was a hell of a narrative choice. I did accept it, and I like it mainly for what it showed of Cassie—that she is capable of forgiveness. By putting the scene with Nina’s mother right after, it transitions Cassie into a spot of hope pretty damn effectively. I also like that it didn’t take Cassie’s emotional labor to get the lawyer to that place, and that he was already self-flagellating (the dead plants behind Cassie in that apartment were a great touch) before she got there. I like the possibility that Cassie could have forgiven herself for not being there for Nina.

That’s why I’m so damn mad she’s dead!!!! She recognized how destructive her pattern of behavior is, and put an effort to stop that for herself and for her relationship with people she cares about. Yeah, Ryan proved an asshole, but it wasn’t even about him!! She laid it clean out for that guy!! No forgiveness. He was not an innocent bystander. He does not get to get away with anything, and all the ways he chose to behave after the fact just further proves it!

Cassie was stunning, and dangerous, and incredible. Narratively, she really could have gotten away with it. I don’t want to buy this finale, that it takes the destruction of another woman to bring justice to the first. I don’t care how neatly framed it was, that was not a happy ending.

[tipsycad147]

Poseidon – Greek God of the Sea

Poseidon is the ancient Greek god of the seas. He was known as a protector of sailors as well as the patron of many different Greek cities and colonies. His ability to create earthquakes gained him the title of “Earth Shaker” by those who worshipped him. As one of the Twelve Olympians, Poseidon is featured heavily throughout Greek mythology and art. His powerful role as god of the sea meant he interacted directly with many Greek heroes as well as various other gods and goddesses.

Poseidon’s Origins

Poseidon was one of the children of the Titans Uranus and Rhea, along with Demeter, Hades, Hestia, Hera and Chiron. Uranus was fearful of the fulfillment of a prophecy which stated that one of his children would overthrow him. To thwart destiny, Uranus swallowed all his children. However, his son Zeus conspired with Rhea and overthrew Cronus. He freed his siblings, including Poseidon, by having Cronus disgorge them.

After his father, Cronus, was defeated, the world was said to then be divided between Poseidon and his brothers, Zeus and Hades. Poseidon was given the seas to be his domain while Zeus received the sky and Hades the underworld.

Who is Poseidon?

Poseidon was a major god and as a result was worshipped in many cities. His more magnanimous side saw him creating new islands and calming the seas in order to aid sailors and fishermen.

When angered, however, he was believed to cause floods, earthquakes, drownings, and shipwrecks as punishment. Poseidon could also cause certain disorders, specifically epilepsy. Poseidon’s association with the sea and sailing meant that sailors venerated him, frequently praying to him and sometimes even sacrificing horses to him by drowning them.

Amongst the peoples of the isolated island Arcadia, Poseidon usually appeared as a horse and the river spirit of the underworld. Arcadians believe that while in horse form, the stallion Poseidon pursued the goddess Demeter (who was also in horse form as a mare). Soon after, Demeter gave birth to the stallion Arion and mare Despoina. More widely, however, he is known as the tamer of horses or simply as their father.

The Children and Consorts of Poseidon

Poseidon was known to have had many lovers (both male and female) and even more children. While he fathered quite a few minor gods and goddesses as well as mythological creatures, he was also believed to have sired some heroes, such as Theseus. Here are some of the most significant consorts and children connected with Poseidon:

Amphitrite is a sea goddess as well as the wife of Poseidon. They had a son named Triton, who was a merman.

Theseus the mythical king and founder of Athens was thought to be a son of Poseidon.

Tyro was a mortal woman who fell in love with a river god named Enipeus. Although she attempted to be with him, Enipeus refused her. Poseidon, seeing an opportunity to bed the beautiful Tyro, disguised himself as Enipeus. Tyro soon gave birth to the twin boys Pelias and Neleus.

Poseidon had an affair with Alope, his granddaughter, and through her fathered the hero Hippothoon. Horrified and angered by their affair, Alope’s father (and son of Poseidon) had her buried alive. In a moment of kindness, Poseidon turned Alope’s body into the spring, Alope, located near Eleusis.

The mortal Amymone was being pursued by a lecherous chthonic satyr who was attempting to rape her. Poseidon rescued her and together they had a child named Nauplius.

A woman named Caenis was abducted and raped by Poseidon. Afterwards, Poseidon offered to grant Caenis a single wish. Caenis, disgusted and distraught, wished that she could be changed into a man so that she couldn’t be violated again. Poseidon granted her wish in addition to giving her impenetrable skin. Caenis was thereafter known as Caeneus and went on to become a minor Greek hero.

Poseidon raped Medusa inside a temple dedicated to Athena. This angered Athena who punished Medusa by changing her into a monster. Upon being killed by the hero Perseus, two children emerged from Medusa’s body. These were Chrysaor, depicted as a young man, and the winged horse Pegasus—both sons of Poseidon.

Poseidon is also thought to have fathered the Cyclops Polyphemus as well as the giants Alebion, Bergion, Otos, and Ephialtae.

One of Poseidon’s male lovers was a minor sea deity, known as Nerites. Nerites was thought to be in love with Poseidon. Poseidon returned his love and their mutual affection was the origin of Anteros, the god of requited love. Poseidon made Nerites his charioteer and showered him with his attentions. Possibly out of jealousy, the sun god Helios turned Nerites into a shellfish.

Stories Involving Poseidon

Many of the myths involving Poseidon reference his quick temper and easily offended nature. These stories also tend to involve Poseidon’s children or gifts.

Poseidon and Odysseus

During the Odyssey, the hero Odysseus comes upon one of Poseidon’s sons, the cyclops Polyphemus. Polyphemus is a one eyed, man-eating giant that captures and kills many of Odysseus’ crew. Odysseus tricks Polyphemus, ultimately blinding his single eye and escaping with the remainder of his men. Polyphemus prays to his father, Poseidon, asking for him to never allow Odysseus to arrive home. Poseidon hears his son’s prayer and thwarts Odysseus journey back to his home for almost twenty years, killing many of his men in the process.

Poseidon and Athena

Poseidon and Athena both competed to become the patron of Athens. It was agreed that both of them would give a gift to the Athenians and then the king, Cecrops, would choose the better one between them. Poseidon thrust his trident into the dry ground and a spring appeared. However, the water was salty and therefore undrinkable. Athena offered the Athenians an olive tree which could provide wood, oil, and food to the Athenian people. Cecrops chose Athena’s gift, and incensed from losing, Poseidon sent a flood to the Attic Plain as punishment.

King Minos and Poseidon

To justify his new position as King of Crete, the mortal Minos prayed to Poseidon for a sign. Poseidon sent a gigantic white bull, who walked out of the sea with the expectation that Minos would later sacrifice the bull. Minos became fond of the bull and instead sacrificed a different one, which angered Poseidon. In his rage, Poseidon cursed Mino’s wife, Pasiphaë, to love the white bull. Pasiphaë eventually gave birth to the famous monster, the Minotaur who was half man and half bull.

Symbols of Poseidon

Poseidon rides a chariot pulled by a hippocampus, a mythical horse-like creature with fins for hooves.

He is associated with dolphins and allied with all creatures of the sea as that is his domain.

He uses a trident, which is a triple-pronged spear used for fishing.

Some other symbols of Poseidon include the horse and the bull.

Poseidon in Roman Mythology

Poseidon’s equivalent in Roman mythology is Neptune. Neptune is known as the god of freshwater as well as the sea. He’s also associated strongly with horses, even going so far as to be known as the patron of horse racing.

Poseidon in Modern Times

Poseidon is worshipped today as a part of modern Hellenic religion as the worship of Greek gods was recognized by the Greek government back in 2017.

The young adult book series Percy Jackson and the Olympians by Rick Riordan prominently features Poseidon. The main character, Percy, is the son of Poseidon. In the novels, Percy fights Greek monsters and frequently encounters other children of Poseidon, some of whom are evil.

Lessons from Poseidon’s Story

Lecherous and Lustful – Poseidon is frequently lascivious and driven by his need to possess others sexually. His thoughtless actions impact many of those around him, although rarely himself.

The Destroyer – Poseidon’s powers lean far more strongly towards destruction than they do towards creation. He is the god of earthquakes, tsunamis, and hurricanes. He takes out his anger and frustration on those who are often innocent of helpless to stop him.

Emotional Rollercoaster – Poseidon’s emotions run deep. He is a poor loser, and often displays uncontrollable rage. He can be either cruel or kind and seemingly change between the two on a dime. He often operates from based in emotions rather than logic.

Poseidon Facts

1- Who are Poseidon’s parents?

Poseidon’s parents are the Titans Cronus and Rhea.

2- Did Poseidon have children?

Yes, Poseidon had numerous children. Some of the most notable include Pegasus, Chrysaor, Theseus and Triton.

3- Who are Poseidon’s siblings?

Poseidon’s siblings include Hera, Demeter, Chiron, Zeus, Hestia and Hades.

4- Who were Poseidon’s consorts?

Poseidon’s consorts include Demeter, Aphrodite, Medusa and many others.

5- What is Poseidon the god over?

Poseidon is the god of the sea, storms, earthquakes and horses.

6- What were Poseidon’s powers?

Poseidon could control the sea, creating storms, manipulating tides, lightning and tsunamis. He could also make the earth quake.

7- Could Poseidon shapeshift?

Like Zeus, Poseidon could transform into other shapes. He often did this to have affairs with mortals.

In Brief

Poseidon’s impact on Greek mythology is enormous. As one of the Twelve Olympians as well as ruler of the seas, Poseidon interacts with other gods, monsters, and mortals alike. Frequently, he can be seen granting boons to heroes or, conversely, raining destruction upon them. He is a prominent figure in pop culture today, appearing in books and television, in addition to still being worshipped by modern day people.

https://symbolsage.com/poseidon-god-of-sea/

[kassysyd]

“Her Sweet Kiss” - A Short  Analysis

Preface: In my job, a key part of my role is to select and analyse various different forms of poetry (yes, lyrics are a type of poem) so, I am keenly aware of the difference between what could be considered quality poetic verse and the doggerel we frequently hear passed off as lyrics in modern songs. I was expecting the latter from the soundtrack to Netflix’s The Witcher, I was wrong.

 Although, at first listen “Her Sweet Kiss” appeared to be a simple love ballad, the uncommon depth and intricacy of the symbolism stunned and forced me to take another listen. Additionally, its arrangement within key scenes of the episode, as well as the inclusion of both alternative lyrics and instrumental versions was ingenious. I don’t have time to do a full analysis, instead, I have pulled together a basic overview of the key elements which stood out to me from this marvellously complex song. I hope this may assist you with your own interpretations.

 Before we start analysing the lyrics, let’s look at the contextual placement of this song within the episode 'Rare Species'. It is featured at three key moments; the opening scene showing Jaskier composing the song, the sex scene between Geralt and Yennifer and then finally played over the credits.   

 In the opening scene, Jaskier is shown singing and composing while waiting for Geralt to return from a hunt. The lyrics are slightly different here and include the adjectives ‘gorgeous’ and ‘lovely’ in reference to the ‘Garroter’ character. He asks the men nearby whether the metaphorical use of ‘garroter’ is too ‘cerebral’, indicating that it is indeed symbolic of someone (Geralt). The lines “I’m weak, my love, and I am wanting… Gorgeous Garroter, jury and judge”, are sung by Jaskier and introduce the concept that the narrator is in love with someone but is also conflicted about their choice to follow them on 'The Path' (more on this later). It is also important to note that the notebook resting on his thigh contains an alternative version of the lyrics which do not feature the secondary 'her' character yet and instead focus instead on the narrator’s own weakness and inability to leave what he feels in an unfair relationship 'If I were a man of more merit,  if I were a man of resolve I’d leave you behind, get my fair peace of mind'.  

 The second time the song is heard during the sex scene between Geralt and Yennifer. This time the song is purely instrumental. The moment where they first kiss, the chorus line 'She’ll destroy with her sweet kiss' is playing. As the audience had already heard some of the song, they would recognize it. But as they only heard the earlier version, which describes only the narrator’s willingness to suffer to be with the one he loves, the full significance of the song is not yet established with the audience. This lack of audible lyrics further symbolizes the narrator’s uncertain feelings towards their relationship at this point in the episode. But also unambiguously associates the song with both Geralt and Yennefer, establishing it as a proxy theme song for their romance and further supporting the argument that the characters from the song are indeed Geralt and Yennifer.

 The final time this song is heard is over the end credits, this time the song is sung by Jaskier and plays in full. The previous ambiguity is sharply contrasted here when the revised set of lyrics are presented to the audience and the true theme of the is song revealed (Jaskier’s anguish). The final scene between Geralt, Yennifer and Jaskier is key to contextualizing these lyrics as it directly foreshadows many lines and themes explored in the song. For example, in Jaskier’s line 'that’s not fair' echoing the lyrics directly and the show’s constant depiction of Yennefer using storm imagery (both themes explored in more detail below).

 The Characters

The song contains three distinct characters 'I/Narrator', 'You/Garrotter' and 'Her'.

 'I/Narrator' – The narrator of the song, possibly Jaskier – It has been established in songs such as ‘Toss a Coin to Your Witcher’ that Jaskier frequently writes from his own perspective and as clearly illustrated in the lines 'When a humble Bard, graced a ride along with Geralt of Rivia along came this song' frequently portray Geralt as their protagonist (this is also canonical for the books, but, I’m limiting my interpretations to the show). Additionally, many key themes and concepts from the lyrics directly reference Jaskier’s own life and experiences (explored in more detail in later paragraphs). It is later shown that Jaskier has written so many highly successful songs about Geralt that the prostitute in the opening scene of ‘Betrayer Moon’ was able to identify his scars by their relevant songs and was surprised to find one that she did not recognize. It can plausibly be argued that ‘Her Sweet Kiss’ is both autobiographical and includes Geralt as a key character.

 'You/Garotter' - The love interest of the narrator and also addressed as 'My Love' and 'Fool'  -  We can connect this 'Garotter' character with ‘Geralt’ through both the phonological similarity between the words and in scene featuring Marilka in the episode 'The End’s Beginning' when she points out 'Geralt'… like Garroter?' a canonically explicit linking of the names. ‘Garotter’ is a term for a killer, specifically, someone who does so through strangling, symbolic of Geralt’s employment. Jaskier himself points out that the ‘metaphor’ may be to ‘cerebral’, indicating to us the audience the need to interpret the line figuratively rather than literally.

 'Her'- The rival for the narrators love interest - A woman described as a destructive and unjust force, using wild, nature-based metaphors such as ‘storms’ and ‘currents’ to describe her ‘love’. Repeatedly throughout the show Yennefer is also described using similar nature/storm imagery, such as Geralt’s description of her 'like a tornado wreaking havoc' (a line Jaskier is shown to have overheard as the camera pans to him).  

 The evidence then supports the supposition that the song may well be written from Jaskier’s perspective, exploring his feeling regarding Geralt’s and Yennifer’s relationship (for a discussion on the dubious nature of consent in this relationship see my other post). For convenience of analysis, from here on I will be assuming the narrator is Jaskier, the 'Her' character is Yennifer and the 'You/Garotter' character is Geralt'.

 The Lyrics

  The ‘’fairer sex’’ they often call it, but her love’s as unfair as a crook.

  Jaskier opens the song by comparing the cliché of women being 'the fairer sex' with the simile 'love’s as unfair as a crook' (an old-fashioned term for a criminal or thief). As ‘fair’ has the dual meaning of both beauty and justice, his description of her as ‘unfair’ attacks both her beauty and her morality. The simile comparing her to a 'crook' (an old-fashioned term for a criminal or thief) suggests that Jaskier feels that she acts both unjustly and steals her love (a possible oblique reference Yennifer’s willingness to use magic to coerce sexual behaviour and disregard consent – as illustrated by the scene Jaskier witnessed in ‘Bottled Appetites’ where she compels a large group of apparently unwilling participants to engage in group sex). The song also echoes Jaskier’s dialogue 'That’s not fair' after Geralt unfairly lashes out at him after his argument with Yennefer, providing further evidence for the autobiographical nature of the song.   

  It steals all my reason, commits every treason of logic with naught but a look.

  Yennifer’s ‘love’, he argues ‘steals’ (continuing the symbolism of her immorality) and commits ‘treason’ (the crime of betrayal) furthering the description of her as being both unlawful and ‘unfair’ in her relationship with Geralt. These lines also illustrate the despair Jaskier feels over not being able to convince Geralt of her corrupt nature. He feels that she can defeat or prevent his ‘logic’ and ‘reason’ easily, ‘with naught but a look’.

  A storm raging on the horizon of longing, and heartache, and lust

 The show repeatedly correlates Yennifer’s behaviour with the destructive forces of nature, and storms in particular. Scenes such as that at Aretusa where she bodily subsumes lightning then uses it to attack another student and when Geralt describes her as a ‘tornado wrecking havoc’ among others, highlight this correlation. Jaskier describing her as a 'storm' that is 'raging' highlights his perception of her as both destructive and aggressive. The storm in this line is be symbolic of Yennifer herself, showing that Jaskier recognizes her arrival as leading to ‘heartache’ and ‘lust’ rather than genuine love between her and Geralt.

  She’s always bad news, it’s always lose-lose

 The repetition of ‘always’ in these lines clearly illustrate how desperately Jaskier feels about the situation. He argues that involvement with her will inevitably lead to pain and loss for all of them, there is no way to win.

  So, tell me, Love, tell me, Love. How is that just?

  This line is a direct address to Geralt (his ‘Love’), begging him to explain, to see, to speak to him and understand. The rhetorical question 'How is that just?' again draws back to the concept of the ‘unfairness’ and injustice of her relationship with Geralt, Jaskier feels that she ‘steals’ love rather than earning or winning it (again a possible reference to lack of consent). The use of a rhetorical question also implies that he feels powerless and unable to expect any response to his pleas.

  But the story is this. She’ll destroy with her sweet kiss. Her sweet kiss

  Here Jaskier is using juxtaposition to show how her ‘sweet kiss’ (symbolic of her sexual relationship with Geralt) will ‘destroy’ him. He sets the tone by stating as fact that ‘The story is this', affirming his opinion that no other possible narrative exists beyond her storm-like destruction of their relationship and Geralt himself.

  Her current is pulling you closer, a charge in the hot, humid night.

  This line again uses the theme of the destructive power of nature, Yennefer is like a ‘current’ pulling Geralt towards her. The repeated portrayal of Yennefer as a destructive force of nature somewhat dehumanises her, correlating her actions with an uncaring inhuman force rather than that of a woman with genuine affections.

 The red sky at dawn is giving a warning. You Fool better stay out of sight

 This line references an ancient mariners rhyme 'Red sky at night, sailors' delight.Red sky at morning, sailors' warning.' meant to warn sailors of an impending storm when a red sky is seen at dawn. Jaskier is again using the ‘storm’ metaphor to warn Geralt about Yennifer. He addresses Geralt directly, calling him a ‘fool’ and advising him to hide from her destruction. 

  I’m weak, my love, and I am wanting. If this is the path I must trudge.

  This line provides a key insight into the identities of the characters and their relationship to each other. In Witcher canon 'The Path' is the name given to the life of a Witcher as he journeys around the continent battling monsters. It’s somewhat comparable to the religious concept of a 'calling'. By describing his choice to accompany Geralt on his quests as 'trudging' indicates that he does not enjoy the journey aspect of their relationship, but also signals his acceptance of this as the price he must pay for a relationship with Geralt.

 To further this point, in the show Jaskier does not always join Geralt in his actual monster battles, instead, it is implied that Geralt himself later recounts the stories. This is evidenced by the lines 'Geralt’s usually so stingy with the details' and later 'I’ll go get the rest of the story from the others'. This habit of receiving the tale after the events reveals that there is no need for Jaskier to continuously accompany Geralt on his journeys, multiple tales could just as easily be collected from Geralt or others (as seen in the tavern scene) at a later date. It can be supposed then that Jaskier, therefore, chooses to accompany Geralt for ‘love’, a reason which is also explored in the notebook version of the lyrics, 'If I were a man of more merit, if I were a man of resolve I’d leave you behind, get my fair peace of mind' It is implied here that he should leave but can’t because his love for Geralt is too powerful.

  I’ll welcome my sentence, give to you my penance. Garroter, jury and judge

 Jaskier’s conflicted feelings about his choice to accompany Geralt is explored further in the line above. He described the act of joining 'the path' as a form of punishment ('sentence' and 'penance') for being 'weak' and desirous ('wanting' Geralt). This ‘sentence’ is enforced by a 'jury and judge', the Garotter (Geralt).  

 The song’s repeated use of justice/legal symbolism is interesting. He places Geralt into the role of a 'Jury and Judge' passing out sentences from a position of power and control over Jaskier (and arguably Yennefer). Yennifer is described as a 'crook' who 'steals' and commits 'treason', but is not punished for these criminal acts. Instead, it is Jaskier himself who is punished, made to give 'penance'. He feels this is an injustice and 'unfair'. This sentiment neatly reflects the events of 'Rare Species', where after his disastrous romance with Yennefer, Geralt lashes out at Jaskier, accusing him of causing all of his misfortune.

 It can be imagined then that Jaskier may have taken his half-composed love song and written new lyrics in direct reaction to that betrayal; his pain laid bare in verse.   

[flying-elliska]

Skam France Season 6 Review

It’s that time, I guess. My feelings are, like many, mixed. I think I enjoyed the season more than most people here, but the ending was a massive let down. Overall it boils down to this : Skam France is great at moments and very bad at structure. A lot of my issues with the season is what is not in it. I saw so much potential that never quite materialized, and it left me frustrated. At the same time, Lola is a really cool character, her arc is really interesting, her relationship with her sister is one of the best things they’ve ever done, and the actors killed it. Loved La Mif, discovering other sides of Eliott, the urbex backgrounds, and Maya. A lot of fascinating character moments. This is definitely my second favorite season after s3 - at times I even thought it would equal it. Sadly, though, Skam France will remain a bit of a one hit wonder for me. Because they are so good at bringing up problems in a nuanced layering way - be it addiction, grief, eating disorders, internalized ableism, racist microagressions - but when it comes to resolving what they brought up, they default towards a ‘let’s all be nice to each other, hug or kiss, love saves the day yay !’ story. Which is, when you claim to deal with real world issues, simplistic, immature, and at times quite offensive. It works for s3, which is at its core a tale of self-discovery, self-acceptance and romance. But niceness doesn’t solve racism, and family problems aren’t solved with a hug, and addiction recovery doesn’t hinge on having someone to kiss, and the series came dangerously close to implying that at times. 

All in all, this is a show that often manages to be both brilliant and terrible at the same time. At least it’s not dull. 

Positives/Negatives/Meh breakdown :

Positives :

- Sisterly love : My favorite thing without a doubt is the relationship between Lola and Daphné. Flavie and Lula killed it. Almost all the clips that made me cry were the ones with the both of them in it. At the beginning their rivalry is so relatable to me : the responsible sibling who takes on too much burdens and is too controlling and parentified vs. the problem sibling who acts out to express the issues the rest of the family are repressing - i have been in both of those spots. you can see how they slowly realize that the gap between them didn’t need to be there, that it wasn’t their fault, that it was the result of their parent’s bullshit and even shittier circumstances. seeing them make little gestures to recognize each other’s pain, to nurture each other, to give each other support, but also to tell each other some unpleasant truths, was so incredibly powerful. Relationships between sisters can be just so...complex, and loving, and petty, and jealous, and supportive, and feral, and annoying, and understanding, and ugh, they made me feel all of that and more. I have a sister, and I have a relationship like that with her, and this season gave me some very important perspectives. Really, relationships between women aren’t explored enough, and this season really did this one thing excellently and if only for that, it deserves to be watched. That moment where Lola talks to Daphné about her self destructive tendencies...so important. I am so happy that Daphné was the one finding Lola in her tower of solitude, and the moment where she says ‘you pay too much attention to what other people think, Lola’ was the emotional turning point of the season for me, because it was Daphné recognizing Lola really cared behind her mask of coldness, but also that she was hurt by that and that she needed to love herself regardless of the love her parents didn’t give her ; and also that she heard Lola saying it to her and that it inspired her too, so there is this amazing reciprocity. It was so powerful, I’m still reeling from it. And it was a beautiful full circle from the beginning of the season. 

- Family of outsiders : the urbex gang was such a wonderful new group this season. It was bound to be tricky getting us to like this new generation, and I think they did a pretty good job. Even tho I wish we got to know them a bit more, they were all intriguing and interesting on their own, and the vibes of Lamif as a whole were just so fun and lovely. Loved the neuroatypical vibes I got from Sekou and Jo. Love that they introduced a trans guy character. Loved Maya as group mom. And seeing them warm up to Lola was really sweet. The social media of them hanging out was more or less the only good social media we got this season lmao. The urbex thing was a great symbol for Lola finding a home with the outcasts, a bit on the fringe of society, and the start of acceptance, of bringing her in from the cold. Maya and Lola’s relationship fit in that really nicely, especially the bits about them talking about their shared experiences of grief, and my favorite scenes with them is showing Lola that her scars can be beautiful and that her rough experiences are part of who she is. The way she didn’t take Lola’s bullshit was great, and even tho I think their relationship was rushed, overall they really fit well together. Love Maya’s character as a concept in general, this funky purple haired lesbian environmentalist with amazing sense of style, and I really hope we see her again in upcoming seasons. And finally, I also really liked Eliott and Lola’s friendship (except for the ending) - the fact that they understand this darkness that they share, but that Eliott has succeded in climbing over it, and so he can give Lola support, understanding, guidance. I loved that we got to hear a bit more of his perspective on mental illness, the good and the bad times, that we saw his passion for movies become more real. I loved the fact that they bonded over creative things and photography, too, and that she found a safe space in the video store. And even tho it wasn’t resolved properly, the scene where he comes to get her and punches Aymeric really made me cry. Also, BASILE. Best bro in law ever. Their scenes together were so homey and warm and sweet. They will have such a good relationship in time. Overall, I really like how central friendship was in this season, shown as so powerful and important. They could have done more with it but I love a lot of what we got. I am just a sucker for found family, man.

- Lola herself : I know she was a controversial character right from the start. She’s been called manipulative, selfish, out of control, toxic. And honestly at times...maybe she was a bit. I still love her. She is just so interesting to me. The lack of compassion towards her in the fandom was seriously depressing at times, and often felt like a symptom of something I’ve seen in a lot of different fandoms, ie the capacity to only tolerate moral ambiguity when it’s attached to attractive white male characters - and to only tolerate mental illness symptoms when they can be romanticized. In the end, she’s a struggling teen from a deeply dysfunctional family who’s had a very rough life, of course she’s not going to be well adjusted. All in all, I think she’s so brave, and she is a fighter. I adored her feral energies in the trailer. I also really liked her blunt honesty at times, even if it was sometimes hurtful and excessive. I think because I have the opposite tendency to be afraid to speak my mind, I really dig a character who isn’t afraid to speak the ugly truth. Even though, again, ‘the truth’ isn’t always cut and clear, and what Lola is often doing instead is listening to ‘depression voice’ who tells her to believe the worst in people. I find that fascinating, because in my experience, yes, depression comes with this terrible lucidity that makes you see through a lot of bullshit but at the same time, is distorting your perspective because of fear and shame, and kicking that, and disentangling your perception from that fatalism, is very complicated. I loved how genuine she was, how mature too sometimes through the pain, more mature than she should have been. It was rough watching her relapse, but I think the portrayal of addiction was pretty very well done overall, not romanticized and explained in a very coherent way. I wish the show had given her a bit more of a clearer view of her inner thoughts towards the end and let her apologize a bit more. And a clearer realisation that her parent’s lack of well expressed love didn’t doom her. But...yeah Following her really made me question my own - more hidden - self destructive impulses, linked to family shit, that pushes me to sabotage and isolate myself. Like Eliott said to her - it’s really a lifelong struggle. I think overall her arc was pretty satisfying, learning to step away from the edge, letting people in, seeing that she isn’t alone, accepting she deserves better and that her failures don’t doom her. That it is about getting up and trying again. Love her using her mother’s camera and wanting to get a phoenix tattoo, a perfect symbol for her. Also Flavie was amazing, she’s got a bright future ahead.

Negatives :

- No follow up to the assault storyline : The thing that I am, without any single doubt, most mad about, is the fact they didn’t bring up the sexual assault again. Along with Charles’ rape apologism, this creates a very dubious pattern of trivializing the issue ‘as long as it’s not real rape’. The fact that the morning after immediately turns to Elu drama is what sort of started my disconnect from the season, and the fact that they don’t bring it up afterwards even once made me angry. I think Lola, before going back to the hospital, should have told someone about the abuse she endured there, and should have told someone about Aymeric, even if only to acknowledge she wants to be done with that part of her life. Aymeric is like...Lola’s biggest villain, in a sense, he is a horrible predator but he also somehow represents her worst impulses, that part of herself that tells her she doesn’t deserve better, and I think that as a character, he was interesting, and he should have been adressed/exorcised better. If Lola was a real person, of course, she would probably have to deal with this in therapy, down the line, later, but as a story, never adressing this again left it unfinished. And this is really the kind of event you NEED catharsis and resolution for. Otherwise, it’s irresponsible.

- A generally overstuffed and disjointed structure : My biggest problems with this season are about what isn’t and what isn’t it. I liked most of the clips, I don’t have an issue with them going dark, strangely enough, but the way they were put together was just...messy. Like many people have said, too much stuff not properly adressed. Palm of most annoyingly useless subplot, the whole Tiff thing. Yes, it was cool comparing her clique to Lamifex and Lola realizing she wants nothing to do with those shallow fake bitches. Sekou hacking her account to replace it with pigeons, amazing. After that though, it should have been DONE, and in general, it should have taken a lot less time and attention. Comparing Tiff’s social media addiction to Lola’s issues felt like some trivializing bullshit. The whole thing was just so annoying. It would have been good if it had led to some discussion of social inequality but like...not this shit. Char, equally useless (although, cool actress, cool style). Another MASSIVE problem is the lack of follow through on big clips. A great thing about SKAM, usually, is that it shows you the aftermath of big moments - characters lying in bed, cuddling, talk to their friends, crying in the shower, etc. It allows the viewer to breathe and really get into the character’s perspective, to be comforted and process drama, and for the emotions to resonate better, to have space to develop richly. Here...we had Lola brush off her assault, we saw nothing after Daphné got her back from the tower thinking she could have killed herself, we learned that they had money problems and the father didn’t go to work and then that was never adressed again and the light was turned back on by magic (????), we saw Eliott go on a major bender and didn’t really see how he got better, etc. Big lack of introspective clips in the latter part of the season took me out of Lola’s head. It was all stressful and breathless, all intensity and no pause like one grating high pitch note instead of music, it felt oppressive, with poor contrast, and very badly paced. It made everything blur together and feel less relevant. The problem with that is it really takes you out of the story ; it’s hard to care when you know whatever is happening might not have a resolution, and it doesn’t put you in the shoes of the character. This was compounded by how mediocre the social media was, when it is usually used to bridge in the gaps. And then to finish : the structure was so uneven, especially in the second part of the season. Towards the middle we had some very short episodes with very underwhelming endings, and Vendredis that felt like non events, and there wasn’t a lot happening - and then, bam, ep 9, drama overload, almost like misery p*rn, and then a super rushed resolution in ep 10. Like they cared more about twists and giving the opposite of what was expected instead of solid coherent narrative and rhythm. The romantic back and forth felt repetitive as hell too. All in all, it made for a very unsatisfying live watching experience, pretty sure anyone who didn’t watch live would like it a lot more. 

- The last two episodes : Really, I could have overlooked all the problems with the season if they had given us a good ending, but...they really really didn’t. And contrasted with last season, where my problems were focused on the middle, for me the ending is really the worst part of this season. I didn’t dislike the controversial club clips, I liked having the insight into Eliott’s insecurities, but they should never have brought those up if they weren’t going to let him adress them properly. Having everything go to shit in Lola’s life at once felt like overkill - they really should have solved those problems earlier, and then dealt with a few ones properly, showed us Lola freaking out on her own, and taken out the bullshit at the high school. Thierry slapping her was also too much, he could just have said these clumsy things. She could have distanced herself from Maya instead of pushing her away again. Also, they really should have had this happen in episode 8 again, and given us a proper resolution. While the tower sequence was incredibly powerful, I pretty much liked nothing after that. It was so annoying that Eliott brushed off Lola’s apology because while he wasn’t wrong that he decided to get drunk himself, she still needed to apologize and actually state that she wanted to get better so she didn’t hurt her friends, so as a resolution it was very mediocre. Thierry recognizing they should have given Lola the choice to go the hospital was a step but really not enough. And the moments with Maya were cute sure but mostly cheesy and unearned. Same for the ending clip. Mostly it’s such an unsatisfying farewell to the old generation, and it really feels like they wanted us to force to move on - didn’t want to properly recognize the end of an era, gave us almost nothing about their BAC or their future plans, etc etc. Also, letting Charles talk and having Arthur and Alexia kiss again ? SO BAD. UGH. I will be forever disappointed they didn’t give us a Multi POV or at least sth better on social media. And not having Eliott’s POV or at least a real Elu conversation (pretty much all season...) so frustrating I will never not be bitter about that. So yeah. The season started so powerfully but went out with a whimper instead of a bang. That whole ‘romantic love solves everything!!!’ shtick...very undercooked tbh. 

Meh : 

- Mayla’s development : I wanted to stan them SO BAD. Like, wlw in skam (that doesn’t turn into a panphobic mess?) YES, all the way yes. Maya and Lola had great chemistry, great dynamic. I loved their first few clips, the kind of confrontational flirting, the boldness, it was like...damn girls ! we love a non useless lesbian ! But...somewhere along the way, their relationship really suffered from the wacky plot structure. They should have shown us more bonding before we got to the angsting (esp during first urbex night). Also, their first kiss was sweet but I hated the ‘you’re my addiction’ line and that kind of put a damper on it. I liked the scenes where they open up about difficult things, the love Maya showed to Lola’s scars, the dandelion symbolism was lovely, but it wasn’t balanced enough with other stuff, and I felt Maya was way too stoic at times. And I really, really didn’t like the ending, honestly. They kept a good balance all season showing Lola wasn’t relying entirely on romantic love, that her family and friends were also important - but saying ‘i’m okay as long as you’re here’ at the end...honestly that sounds unhealthy and codependent as fuck. I really wish they’d done a more subtle, taking it slow ending for them.

- The financial issues : Again a storyline with much potential that wasn’t dealt with properly. It’s really good that we got a main that wasn’t from an economically priviledged background. Especially it felt very relevant to Daphné’s storyline, with the shame she felt at her friends seeing her place, the pressure to make it work, tying into her ED, etc etc. But cutting off the power, the father not working going nowhere...it’s like the plotline meandered and then vanished into thin air. Instead of that, they could have given us a scene of Daphné freaking out over the bills like in OG w Vilde, keeping the focus on her for that plot because she’s the most affected ; and then in the end of the season the father taking them over from her and telling her he’s found another job and that those things shouldn’t be her responsibility. That would have been relevant, instead of just...a loose end.

- Family issues : The Lecomte family dynamic seemed fascinating to me at the start. The mom being this shadowy complicated figure. The inability of the father to deal with anything. Daphné being parentified, Lola becoming the symptom child. They could have done a lot with this, but in the end, it felt like it was brushed aside too easily by saying the mom sent letters so she wasn’t too bad and Thierry is making breakfast so he’s trying. Not enough. I wanted them to let Lola acknowledge she deserved better and that their parent’s crap wasn’t on her. That her mom should have looked for help and the other two shouldn’t have pretended everything was okay. In general, there is way too much pressure to overlook toxic parent behavior and I wish they’d been clearer about this. 

- Mental health portrayal : Some parts of it were really good. Showing Daphné’s ED, letting Eliott talk about his episodes and relapses, showing some of the dark sides of depression and addiction. They just needed to show more of the recovery, because that is often the representation that they lacked the most. I don’t blame them for showing the bad sides of the mental healhcare system (which is terribly outdated and dysfunctional in France, I’m speaking from experience) but they should have shown the good too. Like do they find recovery boring or something ? Because as a person w MI, that’s actually what I’m dying to see, and they’ve been a real letdown in that department. I also think they should have acknowledged that the Lecomte family has mental issues as a whole, that the mother should have gotten help, and the father probably needs it too (still think they should have gone to therapy as a group lol).

- Elu and Eliott’s development : Honestly, not a big fan of how they wrote Lucas in s5&s6, in a lot of clips he was the angry guy with a temper, I miss s4 Lucas who was so compassionate and showed real growth and emotional intelligence. Here it just felt like they were fitting his character to plot needs, and it’s so sad for a character who had such an amazing story development. Now, I loved the glimpses of domestic Elu we got, how Axel and Maxence really showed the intimacy that had grown between them, they really felt married with all the nonverbal conversations and touches, that was sweet. But it’s so annoying that they hinted at Lucas’s insecurities and Eliott’s lack of communications and just brushed it away with ‘oh they love each other they will be okay’ sure bitch but then show us how ? that’s the interesting stuff ? it really feels sometimes like the writer(s) didn’t like how strongly the fans focused on the romance when they wanted to be talking about MATURE dark stuff not that frilly fluffy romance shit *eyeroll* male writers who think they’re above that stuff is so annoying as is the conflating of dark and mature - anyway. Again I liked seeing Eliott in his element this season, he is really thriving, with his movie and the video store, and that made me very happy. I don’t think it’s unrealistic he didn’t make a lot of friends in uni - French university can be so isolating, there isn’t a campus or a vibrant social life like in the US, it’s a very common experience to feel lost and isolated for newbies and it was also my case - but ? Sofiane ? Idriss ??? They could have found a better excuse to implicate Lamifex in the movie making tbh, like Jo egging him on about her passion for directing or whatever, and Sofiane could have been there chilling with them it would have been so cool. I just wish Eliott would have had more of an arc like Daphné did. It wouldn’t have taken much, and since he is my favorite character, I will never not be disappointed at all the wasted potential. 

Yeah so in the end i think this was a very good story they didn’t entirely give themselves the right storytelling tools to tell. Like there is something in the way they prioritize certain moments over others that...I just find very frustrating and weird. So...flawed, but still very interesting overall.

[scarletarosa]

Parvati

The Mother Goddess of Hinduism, Parvati is the complete incarnation of Adi Parashakti- the Cosmic Womb. She is the Ultimate Goddess who is adored by all and is known as Jagadmata, Mother of the Universe.

Parvati is primarily the goddess of love, fertility, procreation, devotion, marital happiness, family, beauty, abundance, nourishment, determination, and power. She is the embodiment of divine knowledge and love, for she is perfection and the destroyer of all evil. She is part of the trio of goddesses called Tridevi, with the other two being Saraswati and Lakshmi. Parvati herself is described as having a great many forms, even having as many as 1,008 names. She is also the devoted and loving wife of Lord Shiva and has had three children with him: their sons Ganesha and Kartikeya (Skanda), and their daughter Ashokasundari. Parvati is the ultimate form of perfection and compassion; she is the nurturing Mother, the giver of food and plenty, the protector of children, the slayer of corruption, and so much more.

As the gentle aspect of Shakti, Parvati is the protector and regenerator of the Universe and of all life. She is the recreative energy and power (Shakti) of Shiva, and she is the cause of the bond which connects all beings, as well as the means of their Enlightenment. Parvati is also connected to both asceticism and sexuality. She is filled with incredible determination and will-power, able to deprive herself of basic needs and to suffer in order to obtain what she desires. Though as the creatrix, she is associated with sex as well, earning her titles such as Kamaksi (Wanton-eyed), Kamakhya (Her very name is Lust), and Mrdani (The Rubbing One). Parvati is Jagadamba, Guardian of the Universe and the Divine Mother who protects and nurtures her children, her devotees. Anyone who is in need of her love will receive it.

While Shiva is represented by the Linga (the phallus, symbolizing regenerative powers), Parvati is represented by the Yoni (vulva). When combined, they symbolize creation- for it is only when Shiva and Parvati (Shakti) are combined that Creation can exist. She and her husband are therefore inseparable, they love and need one another. This is why most images of Shiva or Parvati shown them together. Additionally, there is a united form of these great deities called Ardhanarishvara; with one half being Parvati and the other being Shiva. While Shiva is Purusha, the latent masculine energy of the Universe, Parvati is Prakriti- the vital feminine energy that takes form. Purusha and Prakriti are two basic, opposite, independent and eternal principles that are the main cause and reason behind existence.The Bond and Love between Shiva and Parvati is legendary, they are utterly devoted to one another and nothing can exist without their union. They are the inseparable combination of matter and energy (Parvati as matter and Shiva as energy).

                                   - Story of Parvati and Shiva -

In the story of Parvati and Shiva, the goddess Shakti first incarnated as princess Sati, who became the first wife of Shiva, against her father’s wishes. Eventually, Sati invites herself to her family’s Yagnya, during which, her father insults Shiva horribly. This causes Sati to become so full of rage, that she no longer wishes to be associated with her body since it was given to her by her father. She throws herself into the sacrificial fire and dies. This enrages and pains Shiva so much that he comes in the form of Rudra to lay waste to Sati’s father, Daksha and the rest of his people. Shiva is in so much pain afterwards that he does nothing but meditate in solitude for many ages, grieving for his lost beloved wife. In order to heal Shiva and allow a divine son to be born, Shakti incarnates again as Parvati, daughter of King Himavat and Queen Mena; thus causing Parvati to be known as the “Daughter of the Mountain” since her father is king of the Himalayas. Parvati was destined to marry Shiva, and she was always deeply in love with him. In order to win his heart, she underwent severe penance.

She courageously went out into the mountains and remained there without clothes through heat and cold, starving herself and doing nothing but praying and meditating- just as Shiva does. She became dirty and skeletal, but continued despite everything. This went on for around 5,000 years until the energy created from Parvati’s austerities was so great, that it rivaled Shiva’s, the Mahayogi himself. This energy reached Shiva in his meditation and he immediately recognized Parvati as the reincarnation of his long-lost wife. He came to Parvati in disguise and tested her devotion to him, telling her of Shiva’s personal issues to see if it would sway her- but it did not. Shiva then revealed his true form to Parvati and the two of them had an emotional reunion. He took the goddess into his arms and bathed her body from the waters of the Ganges which flowed from his hair- causing Parvati to become beautiful and healthy again, with skin as fair as a lotus. The two of them had a most wonderful marriage which was witnessed by every being in Creation, and was celebrated by both gods and asuras alike.

Parvati has many wondrous forms, with some notable ones being Kali, Durga, Lalita, Chinnamasta, and Gauri. As Kali, Parvati is the dark mother, the goddess of time and destruction who is “clad in space”. She is equally beautiful and terrifying and is the annihilator of all corruption; leading the way to Enlightenment and eternal bliss. As Durga, Parvati is the invincible Warrior, the manifestation of divine Power. She wears red, symbolizing purity and powerful destruction of evil and rides upon a lion, symbolizing her mastery of courage. She has 8-10 arms, all of which hold divine weapons. As Lalita, she is the playful and sensual Mother- goddess of Creation. Her skin is red like a pomegranate flower and her eyes are soft, she is resplendent and holds five arrows, which represent the five senses. A parrot often sits on her shoulder, which symbolizes cheerfulness, love, and fertility. 

As Chinnamasta, Parvati took this form when a couple female attendants of hers were begging for food. Seeing no food to give them, the benevolent Mother severs her own head and feeds her devotees her own blood. She then becomes Chinnamasta, the red transformative goddess who feels ecstacy in the face of death. When satisfied, she replaces her head and reverts to her form as Parvati. And finally, as Gauri, this is the moon-white form of Parvati that she took after her severe penance in order to win Shiva’s heart and was washed clean by him. She represents gentleness, beauty, and purity. In some parts of India, Gauri has golden skin instead, representing the harvest and fertility. The Navdurga are nine of the most highly-praised forms of Parvati and are celebrated during a festival in India each year. 

Some of the great many names of Parvati include: Maheshvari (Great Goddess), Kaushiki (The Sentiment of Love), Bhagavati (All-Powerful), Chandi (Violent), Vijaya (The Victorious), Bhavani (Giver of Existence), Jagaddhatri (Sustainer of the World), Annapurna (Giver of Food and Plenty), Ambika (Mother), Mataji (Revered Mother), and Shivaradni (Queen of Shiva). 

Parvati’s sacred number is 5, for she is the five elements. The Yoni (vulva), the arrow, and the number 5 are all considered to be equivalent symbols. Parvati is the Divine Mother herself, the phallus of light enters her. When the mass of static energy falls into her womb, it becomes stabilized. Otherwise, this energy reduces everything to ashes. From this comes the story of Parvati becoming a vulva in order to catch the phallus of fire within her in order to prevent it from burning the world. In appearance, Parvati is gentle and motherly. She wears a red sari and often has two arms, though sometimes four. She is almost always shown next to Shiva, for they are two halves of a whole. In her hands, Parvati may hold a trident, mala beads, bell, goad, surgarcane, conch, mirror, or a lotus. She may also display the Abhaya mudra, the gesture meaning “fear not”. She also often holds the baby Ganesha while her other son, Skanda, stands nearby.

[ckret2]

How are you able to write such good romantic scenes when you’re on the aro spectrum?

Gonna start with the weird answer and then explain the logic behind it:

I’m fascinated by the concept of obsession.

Like, particularly, when one person is obsessed with another person.

Typically what fascinates me most is the darker end of the “obsession” spectrum—the “I’ll die for you and/or kill for you,” the “I can’t imagine existing without you and will reinvent myself into some sort of idealized person who can support you as perfectly as possible,” the “I literally worship you like a literal actual god because you are that perfect to me,” the “I hate your guts but I can’t stop thinking about you for more than three seconds and I haven’t slept right in months because of it.” So, yandere tropes, “I’m stalking you out of love” tropes, zealous cults, unrequited love, knight & lord, all that stuff. I’m very interested in the psychology of how what ought to be a positive emotion can get twisted the wrong way into something so negative—how something protective can be twisted into something destructive, how something supporting can twist into something harmful, etc. You know, good horror shit. And so that’s something I spend a lot of time thinking about, reading about, and ultimately writing about.

Here’s the thing though. If you understand how obsession works inside and out, you’re like, 90% of the way to being able to write romance. That is, I think, fundamentally why I’m interested in writing romance in the first place. Because on a scale of 0 to 100, with 0 being “total indifference to a person’s existence” and 100 being “can’t go five seconds without thinking about the person and dreams about them at night,” romance clocks in at, like, 40. You’ve just gotta take Full Obsession and dial it back to a reasonable, healthy, sane level, and then paint it pink and that’s the Romance Feeling.

And then you chuck in a bunch of other positives to go along with the “can’t stop thinking about them” factor to make it a convincing romance.

The characters have gotta be friends with each other—if you can write friends, hell, turn it into “friends who call each other ‘my love’ and are making plans to spend their lives together” and you’ve got a quick and easy romance right there without any extra effort. And I understand how friendship works, I’ve got friends! Friends are a thing I can do. Lovers are friends with benefits. (The benefit is love.)

The characters probably find each other attractive in some way—if it’s physical, then you just gotta think “okay, this character finds that look attractive somehow,” and then describe their physical features in poetic language—the more you wanna emphasize the physical attraction aspect and the more it’s infatuation instead of an old steady love, the more deliriously flowery you can get with the description. If it’s attraction to their personality or other mental traits, just, do that same thing, but with mental features instead of their body. I know how to use descriptions to make things sound pretty, I can do this one too.

If there’s sexual attraction, then apply that same flowery language to generally eroticized body parts and/or body motions, and/or describe the arousal these observations cause the viewpoint character. (I’m also ace—I have never looked at someone and felt sexual attraction—but I do know what a state of arousal in and of itself feels like, and I understand on an intellectual level that people can feel it spontaneously when looking at someone they find attractive, and from there it’s really easy to combine “he looked at someone he thought was very good looking” and “he is feeling arousal, this is what arousal feels like to him” into “he looked at someone good looking and because of it he felt arousal” like it’s a pretty simple cause-and-effect there.)

The characters have gotta respect each other as, like, people, instead of idealized statues and/or dolls (as would be the case if it was obsession instead of love), which means they’ve gotta understand each other really well—so just, you know, write them comprehending each other’s quirks, recognizing each other’s oddities without needing them explained and not finding them weird, being generally familiar with each other. If you know what both your characters are like, you can write each of your characters knowing what the other one is like, too. Bam. Done.

The characters, especially if they’re only newly attracted to each other, probably feel the physical symptoms of that—rapid heartbeat, butterflies in stomach, tongue-tied nervousness, etc. I’ve never felt those things in direct connection to having a crush but I’ve felt them in connection to other things, so I can write about them too, I can intellectually imagine a “this character likes that character so much that it causes this physical reaction” cause-and-effect scenario.

And I could go on but it’s just gonna be a longer list like that.

All of the above things—feeling lowkey obsessed, being extremely close friends, looking at each other and going “ooh you are aesthetically and/or intellectually pleasing,” respecting each other, understanding each other, physically reacting to being around each other—are all things that make perfect sense in my little aro brain without having ever felt romantic attraction in my life, and they’re all things that I know come with romance because like, I see romances in movies, read them in stories, see people talking about them daily, and have several psychology courses and books under my belt that talk about the mechanisms of love along with all the other things that come in human brains. The very first movie I was ever taken to was Aladdin and I’m not sure if I was even speaking in full sentences by then—I’ve been passively absorbing research on romance practically since I was born. I’ve just gotta remember what I’ve learned and put it together in a way that sounds sensible and that matches up with what I’ve learned about how romance works and what I know about, like, how humans work.

And if a given couple’s romance differs from the above list—like, they’re totally in love but they aren’t best friends and they don’t have that deep knowledge of each other because they fell in love in two days and eloped in under a week—then that’s fine, that just necessitates amping up other factors to strengthen the love—maybe increase the obsession factor if it’s a rapid infatuation rather than a slow burn, maybe have them idealize each other more than they should which keeps them feeling attraction for each other but covers up flaws they’ll probably notice later... and when you’re writing inside their perspective you can write their romance to be as beautiful and perfect as they feel like it is, but if you recognize those flaws in their relationship you can hold onto them to use later—either to shake up the relationship and force them to grow and stabilize it, or else to make it come crashing down.

The point is, you gotta keep it realistic even when from the characters’ perspectives it’s an idyllic perfect relationship. If they’ve known each other a week, then they don’t know everything about each other. You can’t claim they do without it sounding ridiculous. They might feel like they know “everything that matters,” but it’s disingenuous to try to demonstrate No They Really Are In Love by giving them knowledge they haven’t earned yet. Show they love each other in spite of their ignorance. That goes for any other trait that a “full” “developed” romantic couple has but that they lack.

What matters, ultimately, is that at the end of the scene, it’s got to read like the characters are attracted to or in love with each other—even if it’s for dumb or shallow reasons—and not like the author put the attraction on top of them like funny hats.

And on that note?

Although being aro gives me a very obvious disadvantage writing romance that alloromantic folks don’t have—no personal experience to draw upon, even as little as knowing what it feels like to have a crush—I think it does give me one specific advantage over allo writers: I’m going to side-eye a romance plot line unless I’m convinced it works, and that applies to my own plot lines as well. And I think that being aro sorta automatically gives me stricter standards for what it takes to convince me a romance works.

Particularly in movies, it’s easy for the writers/directors/whoever to default to shorthands to “demonstrate” that characters are in love: tropes like “they argued and insulted each other for half the movie, then in a heated moment they kissed, then they were clearly attracted to each other the whole time,” that sort of thing. I can’t stand that. I know not being able to stand poorly-written hollywood romances isn’t an exclusively aro/ace thing. Plenty of allo folks complain about piss poor romantic subplots. But I have noticed a higher willing suspension of disbelief among allo folks to accept it as a given that two characters belligerently sniping at each other are doing so because they’re suppressing attraction (perhaps because there are hidden Signs Of Attraction that are invisible to me? I don’t know) while I see a much lower willing suspension of disbelief for that sort of thing among a lot of my ace- & aro-spectrum friends. I recognize I’m working off a limited data set, here, but I theorize it’s just harder to accept that two characters being assholes toward each other are better off boning than ignoring each other for the rest of their lives if the person being asked to accept this doesn’t have personal memories of Attraction™ to fall back on to fill in the gaps between the shorthand the director is using to symbolize (but not demonstrate) attraction.

So I can’t use those kinds of shorthands in my own work, because they don’t work for me. If I want the audience to feel like two characters are in love, I’ve got to bust my ass to demonstrate to myself, first and foremost, that they’re in love. That means I can’t just say they like each other, I’ve got to SHOW why they like each other. I can’t just say they’re attracted to each other, I’ve got to SHOW the audience what it is find attractive about each other—I’ve got to describe it clearly and compellingly enough that the audience can see their attractiveness too, no matter if I’m describing a robot disguised as a spider or a pile of volcanic rock in the shape of pteranodon. If they’re arguing and hate each other but are suddenly going to kiss in a moment of passion, I’m not going to trust that the audience will just Get that they were secretly attracted the whole time, I’ve got to go into their heads to demonstrate why they feel attraction in spite of their arguing and why, to them, that attraction overweighs their differences.

At no point am I able to create the skeleton of a romance and expect the audience to add the flesh and blood simply because I myself can imagine the flesh and blood based on my past experiences—because I don’t have those past experiences.

Anyway that’s what goes into how I write romance.

[lewdcrossroads]

Hyperslut Runeterra AU

There is extreme content below. You have been warned.

Demacia: Level of perversion plays into caste system where the more perverted you are, the more common your nobility. Of course, that doesn't mean that the female nobles are above perversion; they are simply more discreet about it. Definitely not at the level Ionia is in general however. It's more of an open secret however, so while there is some public outrage, it's mostly just for show and to appease the higher ups in society despite the fact that they are right amongst the "commoners" doing it.

Sona: Willing slave. Give her somebody strong who looks they can be dominant with her, and she will walk right up to them, put their hands on her body for them, and mouth the words "own me". Often forms a telepathic link with them using magic and a self-tattooed slave mark with their symbol in the middle. Willing to try most every fetish under the sun and loves being humiliated without end, especially sexually. As a result, in the lowest possible class, but tolerated in high society because of her musical skill (and her willingness to fuck partygoers like a common busty whore).

"Only you can hear me, Master. What debauchery shall we experience today~?"

Lux: Uses light magic to hide the fact that she's nude and doing lewd shit almost constantly. Massive exhibitionist despite (or is it "because"?) the shame she knows it would bring to her family were she would ever be to discovered. Her brother would be discharged from the army and her family would be cast into the lowest of society in Demacia. That thought gets her off harder than anything else.

Vayne: Hardcore night hunter that still wants to avenge her parents, but she has an extreme monster and peril fetish. If she doesn't succeed in killing the monster, she almost always ends up getting raped. Often has to rely on somebody from Demacia noticing her absence and coming to rescue her which can take a lot of time, especially if she's dragged out to a monster's rape cave or a bandit camp. Generally discrete, but doesn't really give a fuck about her perversions being known.

Quinn:

Shyvana: Result of her mother playing whore to a dragon. Her dragon instincts constantly war with her human urges, bringing her no end of frustration as her two natures fight, even as human lust mixes with dragon lust and sends her into "heat" often. A size queen due to her body's needs, she goes after big dicked humans when human (such as J4 and Garen) and occasionally heading down to the royal stables to "tend" to both her lusts and the horses alongside the royal stable maides, and bending over for dragons to play as a distraction (sometimes as a human, sometimes as a dragon) during a hunt, the kill of which leaves her immensely satisfied for a good while (aka a week in this au). Her dragon pride makes it so that when she's descended as a dragon, she can only be sexually satisfied by dragons.

Morgana: A magic wielding warrior from another world. Like her sister, Kayle, she was summoned to Runeterra, but was summoned in Noxus, to fight against their main enemy, Demacia. She fell in love with the wild and debauched lifestyle that she had dedicated herself to fighting for back in her homeworld. Wildly indulging in sex and perversion with abandon, she is trying to return back to her homeworld to bring it the lifestyle that she feels has vindicated her entire struggle. Indulging in every fetish at least once from both sides of the equation, Morgana is loving being a hyperslut and the men and women of Runeterra love her. The only fetish she has yet to indulge in, and is interested in, however remains locked to her: incest.

"Ever raw an angel before~? No? Would you like to~?"

Kayle: A sword and magic wielding warrior from another world. Like her sister, Morgana, she was summoned to Runeterra, but was summoned in Demacia, to fight against their rival city, Noxus. A defender of the world she lived in prior, she was extremely unprepared for the culture she arrived in the comparatively perverted Demacia. However, that does not prevent her from indulging in her curiosity, if hesitantly, experimenting and exposing herself to the various methods of mating the people of Runeterra have discovered. Normally reserved, once she cums, she embraces her true inner slut and will not settle down until she has sated herself completely, rivaling even some of the more legendary sluts across the land. However, none of this prevents her from trying to return home, feeling vindicated at the similar level of debauchery her sister would inflict upon her people, all while occasionally rebuffing her lecherous sister's extremely inappropriate advances.

Fiora: A duelist in bed and on the field. Doesn't sleep with just anybody. Has some exceptional standards. Prides herself on being the best (has pitted her against some serious foes as a result much to her enjoyment). Generally only sleeps with one person at a time and duels usually involve her fucking the other person until they pass out or are completely unable to stay erect anymore. Does so to redeem the shame that her father brought upon the family due to using performance drugs in the dueling circuit. Seeks to "restore" the honor of her family by proving her superiority. Social air in Demacia means that her sexual duels are instead referred to with many double entendres and innuendos when in the presence of somebody she's not familiar with or more than one person. As a result, loves sex jokes and getting raunchy. Finds friendship in Kayle and a good training dummy for her dominant roles in Sona.

Noxus: Debauchery is celebrated openly. Instead of a gladiator pit, it's an orgy pit with the occasional fight. Whoever does the best often gets sold to the highest bidder from the crowd. A few cults, like Leblanc's Cult of the Black Rose, all vie for power behind the scenes, many using tantric rituals. Sex slaves and hired workers are just as great gifts to politicians as gold, jewelry, and fine goods/services. Occasionally raids Ionian lands for slaves (human and Vastayan alike (bull/cow vastayans go for a lot) and sometimes wars with Demacia because of how they are pretty much the opposite of their philosophy and can't let it stand.

Katarina: Well-known assassin from Noxus. Occasionally kills, but also very famous for bringing back filled condoms as trophies. Deals very heavily in social assassination. Makes runs through the streets to test her stealth skills, and if anybody catches sight of her and calls out to her while she's in earshot and able to hear them, she fucks them then and there as a self-inflicted punishment. Regular outfit often has filled condoms filled and tied off and hanging from her. Failing a mission or disobeying a superior commander's order results in her being bound, humiliated, and offered up as a free use cumdump in the main street of Noxus. She fails a lot of main mission objectives and is a generally pretty rude and disobedient towards superiors.

Riven: Wanders in search of "strength", an exile from Noxus. When meets somebody strong, either combats them with her sword or with her pussy in a competition of some sort. Will shamelessly and enthusiastically fuck anybody that offers her food or shelter, though she's above begging. Very much not above whoring herself out though. After all, when in the war, served as her squad's cum slut with enthusiasm. Was a slave in the pits of Noxus before freed by Draven when he recognized her strength both as a slut and a warrior while fuck-fighting her. During her time in the army, often wandered around Noxus to enjoy the various food delicacies and offered herself as a free use slut for restaurants to pay off her tabs. Loves fine/good-tasting food and continues this practice all throughout her travels around Runeterra, especially since starves a lot. As a result, whores herself out at camp sites a lot (though she enjoys the act a great deal herself).

Leblanc: Clone is very submissive and just as durable as she is due to her repressed tendencies as a result of both living in Noxus high society and being leader of a cult. Deals in a ton of freaky shit due to latter. If in healthy environment, a switch between top and bottom. Has slaves of all races in basement and in base of cult to use as in her pleasure. Loves using them as live dildos; when feels like being sub, creates clone and uses ritual to share clone's senses in safety of her quarters while it gets ravaged senseless out of revenge.

Cassiopeia: Woman with snaky attributes (cursed with Shurima curse) and sciency type who studied in Piltover/Zaun thanks to father's influence before he vanished who deals with all sorts of poisons. Can synthesize poisons into her body to do all sorts of stuff (and their antitoxins). Likes to occasionally roam around on the streets and abduct both cute girls, strapping lads, and handsome men with venomous/narcotic bites. Major domme who uses them for both experiments with concoctions and for pleasure. Poisons do various effects that do great things for sex and sell for a lot on the Noxus streets, legal and not. Keeps the Du Couteau house financial secure alongside Katarina's "wetwork".

Piltover: The city of progress. Most of all the cutting edge technology goes into producing elegant and interesting sex toys of some kind (and the occasional boost to normal daily life.) The academy that makes the city particularly famous is a den of debauchery behind closed doors despite the relatively posh and proper lifestyle the city presents, all while they look down on the people of Zaun for their destructive debauchery and interesting experiments. Experimentation of different kinds happens there. Entrance to the academy is granted by presenting something new that could have an impact on "gratification" or by convincing the council that determines who enters or not that they deserve to enter (a lot of rich families get in that way).

Caitlyn: In a relationship with Vi as the dominant. Grew up in Piltover as part of nice family. Quickly established herself as an amazing police officer and sniper with her custom made rifle. Went through several male and female partners because of her being super kinky and dominant until she met Vi in the PD and was assigned as her partner. One mission went awry trying to catch Jinx ended up with them trapped underground until rescued. Both found naked and fucking like crazy with Cait on top. Loves putting Vi through all sorts of plays to test both their limits, but often indulges in her partner's exhib fetish using the scope of her rifle and special sleep darts to keep her safe from unsavory predators. Sometimes lets Vi get the better of her and flip roles, discovering that she sometimes likes being shown off and even used by strangers herself. Not nearly as often as Vi or certain other champions, but sometimes. Has a history with N who she sexually battles on occasion with her loss every time, her bound up and dripping cum from all her holes and still no clue to his identity.

Vi: In a relationship with Caitlyn as the submissive. Grew up in Zaun a slum kid. Ends up handcuffed and wandering around Piltover and Zaun while stuffed with sex toys as a lot. Massive exhibitionist (as is Cait to a lesser extent), and often ends up getting fucked silly by a random stranger in either city in some dirty back alley. Was originally part of a gang as both their cum dump and their moral compass, but left when they crossed the line and almost got people killed, backstory canon with main AU. Loves getting shoved into the elevator between cities naked, handcuffed, and blindfolded by Caitlyn with the expectation of her getting fucked the entire way. Has a great time sometimes flipping roles, the best being when she shoved Caitlyn in the elevator for time duration of lunch rush to evening rush hour.

Orianna:

Camille:

Zaun:

Jinx: Archenemy of Vi and Caitlyn. If she wins, she uses them as sexual playthings to satisfy her lust. Usually pretty rough to Vi's secret pleasure. If she loses, she gets the favor returned before being hauled back to the Piltover precinct to be the PD's cumdump (though she somehow always manages to escape).

Janna: Goddess who gets caught up in Zaunite fashion. Is happily a lingerie model (loves flaunting and wearing wares out around city because they look so nice) when asked to be and always loves attending the after parties where she shares her love. Very loving wind goddess who helps those who need comfort. Immensely popular among the homeless, down trodden, and abused. Always willing to lend an ear. Due to secrets being carried on the wind, very knowledgeable about everything that happens in the city. However, goddess morality makes it hard for her to see who's evil like Warwick (a very confused and damaged soul) and Singed who amuses her with jokes. Carries a tiny bit of a grudge for being left to wane in power so much when all she wanted to do was help.

Ionia: repressed culture where people try to limit their hypersexuality with those that fail to do so being ostracized or shamed. Something about how there needs to be balance between urges and discipline. Plenty of plants and animals that help encourage lust. Vastayan hate humans for trying to limit themselves and the nature around them, damaging the environment and magic. Vastayans are very much in touch with their primal nature and urges to the point where it's considered somewhat rude to turn down sexual advances if it's from somebody of a gender that you're attracted to. Some Vastayans work to both undo the devastation on the land's magic that humans have done and prevent any further.

Syndra:

Karma:

Irelia: One of the most sexual characters, but tries to put up a hard front to hide it. Shamelessly self-indulges behind closed doors to the point where she realizes she's late for something and hurries, often finding that she failed to remove the vibrator (enchanted to be silent but powerful of course for secrecy) and cumming often during meetings. Occasionally meets up with soldiers of renown or who have performed great service and plays submissive to reward them for their bravery under the condition that they say nothing about how they fucked her silly, sometimes in groups to really satisfy her lust. Sometimes intentionally leaves her toys inside her to keep her on a buzz throughout the day for a fun night, even if it makes for some interesting meetings and interactions with others throughout the day.

Ahri: Hyper-competitive slut. Travels throughout the world on a whim, relying on kindness of strangers. Absolutely hates the idea of "silver-medal". Once traveled to Bilgewater to act as roughest bar's copper coin whore for a night and serving as the rowdiest ship's cumdump for a voyage because MF did something just somewhat short of that. Occasionally gets in over her head because of her distaste for being second best, but usually has the skills to back up her claims/boasts. Anything she has trouble with, she relentlessly tries until either she succeeds in outdoing or determines that it's physically impossible. Initial reaction at the idea of being second is almost always shock/horror at first, and then either cruel smirk or ears going flat with hissing. Take canonic sluttiness and turn it up to 12.

Akali: Sneaky ninja slut who trains her stealth by making nude runs through populated towns/villages/cities, her endurance/stamina with marathon masturbation sessions, and her body with hard physical training. Tries to find the perfect master to call her own and fight for, not agreeing with Order's ideology around the suppression of libido. Lots of sex based techniques. Loves to submit to her potential master and warm his/her bed and be the perfect sex doll, but when he/she starts showing tendencies that Akali doesn't agree with, leaves and searches for a new master. Loves shibari and other forms of bondage. Really gets off on the idea of being servile and at her master's whim when it comes to pleasure (particularly ordered to stand perfectly still while she gets fingered). Will do whatever her master tells her to out of her own free will, including seduction or assassination missions, unless it causes her serious harm for no real reason or forbids her from indulging in her massive libido as much as she wants (unless it's punishment for a serious transgression or chastity play).

Xayah: Dominant to an extreme with other Vastayan, can't help but be utterly submissive to humans and other creatures. Often gets separated from Rakan for a while by slavers and trade caravans that she pretends to fight off and struggle against but is ultimately all too willingly to play "birdy" for. Because of how aggressive and loud she is, easily annoys humans she's with about superiority of the Vastaya and how humans ruin everything to get them to put her mouth to "better use", oft fingering herself during so. However, always returns to Rakan who gets the chance to sample some sluts himself, sometimes even bringing new partners into their bed to please him. True genuine love between them to the point where they embody the expression "If you love something, let it go. If it returns to you, it's truly yours". Often butts heads with Ahri over who's better in bed. Uses techniques that she learns from the humans to dominate Vastayans even better which lets her stand on even footing with Ahri.

Neeko: Curious, excitable, cute Vastayan known as an Oovi-Kat who can take form of others and possesses strong magic. Thinks she has direct ancestry with ancient progenitors of her race (may be right). Novice when it comes to sex, but very eager slut who wants to learn everything, especially lesbian sex. Most of her encounters are with females (some like making use of her ability to transform). Trying to restore Oovi-Kat tribe, even if no men like her. Vastly prefers women anyway (especially female cougars), but curious enough to play "games" with big horny animals when she takes female form of their species. However, still learning to control her powers, so always ends up losing control the moment they put their dick in her, and they go crazy over tiny, hot, wet Vastayan pussy wrapped around them. Very very into strong and powerful female champs like Illaoi, Shyvana, and Evelynn and flirts with them. Anybody she fucks, asks if they would be part of her tribe in attempt to restore. When getting fucked hard or finally orgasms, is big cuddler and wraps tail around partner or nearest thing she can wrap tail around. Very clingy and affectionate.

"To know Neeko is to love Neeko, and to love Neeko is to be one with Neeko."

Void:

Kai'Sa: Wears a living and weaponized body suit that's super perverted. Loves intimacy but the pervertedness of her suit can make that difficult sometimes. Now that she's escaped from the void, she doesn't need the suit anymore and can just rid herself of it. However, turboslut that she is, she's not getting rid of it anytime soon, even if it picks the most inconvenient times to fuck her/make her squirt. It seems to really enjoy embarrassing her, especially when she's trying to really get intimate with some guy that she just ran into. Besides find somebody she can really let herself be comfortable with, she'd like to hunt down her father and reconnect with him. However, because of the lust her suit gives her and the show she inadvertently gives, she often gets fucked frantically into the nearest available surface instead.

Bilgewater: Super open about its sexuality. Used to be a slavers' haven until Miss Fortune took control and turned it into her town. Now it's a very underground black market. Very popular vacation spot due to temperature and climate. Wet t-shirt contests are very popular and encouraged here, even a tax deduction. One week of the year, has a massive festival where people all over Runeterra come to celebrate debauchery (many people wear disguises if from more uptight cities) called the Sluttening.

Miss Fortune: A very respected captain and dangerous markswoman, but also a whore who wanders around the docks and whorehouses looking for work (she loves working for cheap). Wears a blouse that is sheer and almost completely see-through when wet which is 98% of the time considering how often she's out on a ship or near sea spray. Greatest enemy is Gangplank and Illaoi considering how often she either gets shafted by him or his men or by her god's tentacles. Also her mother was slaved by his men, leaving her an orphan and not tolerant of slavers. Does not stop her from having wet dreams of GP taking her as his personal cabin slut. Often plays up the dumb busty bimbo persona to both get more work and to have people underestimated.

Illaoi: Tentacle fetishist and leader of her god's cult. Has zero qualms about inflicting her perverted god's tentacles on both herself and the various females of Bilgewater (and Runeterra in general if she happens to run into them) as a method of testing them. Very astute test of character and is very willing to sleep with the people she deems strong, though she takes charge almost all of the time. Only woman to dom GP.

Mount Targon:

Leona:

Diana:

Soraka: Complete and total healslut. Will spend hours examining patients and then pull a double shift to tend to injured warriors in the night by spending crawling into their bed to give them "advanced care". Very very bulliable and loves every moment of it.

Shadow Isles:  

Evelynn: no change lol

Kalista:

Elise:

Kumungu Jungle: jungle filled with shit ton of horny beasts and lewd plants. Some sentience. Some rich or adventurous people consider it a hunting ground for more exotic trophies. Mostly uninhabited but can find a few tribes of people who live off the land and experiment with the land and positions (basically the creators of Runeterra's Kama Sutra, adapted for the various humans, Vastayans, and other races who inhabit the land).

Nidalee: more emphasis on mating season. Practices Runeterra Sutra and knows, practices, and helps develop new techniques to practice constantly. Was abandoned as a child but has grown up to be a spectacular slut despite growing up among cougars. Constantly courted and mounted by members of her feline tribe but none can keep up with her. Rival is Rengar who she practices her techniques on the most as a method of subduing him and proving she's far more dominant.

Zyra:

Shurima:

Sivir: Main method of earning cash besides mercenary work and black market deals is prostituting herself and her company of amazonesque mercenary whores who follow her commands, especially since she recently discovered is daughter of an emperor of Shurima. Her current goal is to help Azir rebuild his empire so that can rule and never have to worry about money again. However, rebuilding empire is expensive and getting followers is hard, so hands cash part by trying to charge high prices and followers part by seducing highly influential people to her cause to use their power.

Taliyah:

Freljord:

Ashe: leader of the Avarosan tribe in Freljord and firm believer of equality, peace, and intimacy. Takes ideas from Ionia and Demacia regarding discipline and reverence towards sex, but doesn't agree with the idea of shaming sex or seeing it as a weakness. Incredibly regal, but no less debauched even if she pretends otherwise, often going into town to join the common folk in disguise, attending orgies and tending to glory holes in her free time. Not entirely happy with the war but will fight for what she believes is right. Marriage with Trynd rocky right now, and while she occasionally gives him a handy, he is in the dog house with her right now. Things may improve on that front.

Lissandra:

Sejuani: leader of the Winter's Claw and a firm believer of the idea that the strong take what they want. Sej wants a lot and is the strongest of her tribe which makes her the leader. Enjoy everything while you can and don't be afraid to indulge in every whim, whether that's being the focus of a 20 man train or letting Bristle raw her for hours as a treat. Sej loves it rough and believes that the rest of the Freljord should follow her, her tribe whole heartedly agreeing with her, their numbers including Volibear and the Ursine and Olaf the berserker since there seems to be a bevy of people who enjoy getting pillaged by both factions. Sej is certainly in that camp. Started war as a personal slight against Ashe's philosophy regarding sex, and does not form emotional attachments through sex ever.

places where whorehouses are public: - Noxus - Zaun - Bilgewater  (Incredibly open and public/blunt about it) - Mount Targon - Shurima - Freljord

places where whorehouses are discreet: - Demacia - Piltover - Ionia

places where whorehouses are just non-existent: - Shadow Isles - Kumungu Jungle - Void

War of the Freljord - War between the three sisters started between what kind of sexual environment the Freljord. Sej wants more brutal and open sex to be commonplace based on what she's seen from Noxus and Zaun while Ashe wants the atmosphere to be more disciplined and reserved like what she's seen from Piltover and Demacia (even if she doesn't at all agree with their philosophies about sex being shameful). The whole catalyst for their war was when Sej seduced Trynd and convinced him to brutally fuck her silly in his marriage bed with taunts of how Ashe would never let him do the things she's willing to do, all while Ashe was tending to a local glory hole in a disguise. Meanwhile, Lissandra just wants the world to enjoy the wonders of tentacle sex.

Piltover Elevator - The main expressway between low city of Zaun and elevated city of Piltover. People flock to this massive construction both to travel to the cities and, if you're a lady in strut, to hop towards the back in order to get molested. Particularly brave women walk on naked and stay in the front. More prominent members of that group include Vi and, sometimes if you're incredibly lucky and Vi's very assertive that morning, Caitlyn who walk on bound and blindfolded.

Gragas' Mead Hall - The site of many drunken orgies and where Gragas shares his famous brews, most popular among them being his Aphrodisiac Wine. Being Avarosan herself, Ashe often comes and joins in the celebration, though she ends up losing her disguise halfway through on account of her being fucked out of it. Her loving subjects don't remember plowing their queen, it all being a drunken blur of pleasure, but they certainly have vivid dreams about fucking her senseless with her as the center of a rowdy foursome. They certainly adore how their queen always turns into a thirsty little cumslut right from the get go in those fantasies.

The Sluttening - Festival in Bilgewater that lasts for a week. People from all over Runeterra come over to the amazing climate vacation spot. It's less rough and tumble because of all the constant sex meaning there are less fights. Booze and sex are near constants on every street you walk down. Wet t-shirt contests are incredibly common due to all the sluts wanting to prove they're the best and hottest thot to walk around Runeterra. During this time, the spirits of the Shadow Isles also wander in, bringing with them ancient sex techniques, emphatic connection due to spiritual nature, and all sorts of general kinkiness that you'd be hard pressed to find otherwise.

[scrapyardboyfriends]

Jenny’s Belated Live Blogging - 14th January 2020

- I really do appreciate Maxine’s ability to write nuanced dialogue

- But also...Kyle reading out “purple vegetable”  was genius and is now the only Kyle moment that matters. Hahaha

- And ah yes...spoilers being worded in ways to make people panic...this time about bed scenes. Haha. Instead, we got the random driving him home and symbolically removing the fruit from the bowl so he could throw up in it and then trying to steal his wallet. I kind of love it. 

- I think my other favorite moment might have been when Liv was like “so what? you’re over Robert?” And Aaron was just like “What?!?! Why would you say that? What kind of strange concept is that? He was just some random bloke. I don’t even know his name. It wasn’t a...a...date? Why would I even want to do that?!” I appreciated that a lot. 

- What he said to Liv and then to Vic was harsh but I can see how and why he said it in a lashing out kind of way even if he didn’t mean it like that and felt awful afterwards. I also very much appreciated the fact that Vic didn’t make it all about herself with Vic, but also recognized what a terrible place Aaron is in and wants to try and help him get better, even though she’s also struggling herself. And Liv and Vic is such a better dynamic than Aaron/Liv. 

- I also continue to like Aaron with Vic. Especially when Maxine is writing it. I liked that she had them blatantly explain that this isn’t cheating because some people need to hear that on screen apparently. 

- Mostly I just like that it’s all just really messy and it’s still very clear that Aaron is just not okay. Although...was there something missing between when Aaron was all “i don’t know what I’m doing Vic” and then when she came back and he had changed shirts? Did Maxine write too long of a script again or something? Cause that was a bit weird. 

- Oh, and I’m glad Maxine also gave us a Vic and Diane who were raging at Rebecca over Seb and how they all knew how much Aaron loves Seb and wanted to see him and how they all recognized this was going to be upsetting for him. Thank you! It may never happen again but I’m glad it happened at all. 

- Overall, I’m relatively happy with how it’s going and I hope Sam can pick up the baton tomorrow and give us something equally as good. 

- Onto the rest! I’m glad to see a more subdued Moira who is at least recognizing that she’s been a mess. It’ll be interesting to see if she does start to deal with it all and stop self destructing. I’m sure the divorce will be rough though if Cain goes through with that. 

- All of the Al/Jai stuff just felt like a better acted version of the hostile work environment/workplace bullying video I had to watch yesterday for my sexual harassment and discrimination course for work. Haha. I don’t understand Al’s aim here. Just to look better for Kim? So he can get in there better and maybe save his own neck money wise? 

- New Ellis is still totally uninspiring and I’m still super here for Belle and Jamie although that whole thing where she was like “I don’t want to look at the rabbit my boyfriend got me and think of you” made it feel like they’d already done something. So that was strange. 

- I do not understand Rhona still being all “Graham is great!” This whole story...so rough and contrived right now which is a shame because it started well. 

[mobius-prime]

138. Sonic Super Special #11 - Girls Rule!

Are you ready? We have not a two, not a three or four, but a five parter this time 'round! This special contains five stories each following a different prominent Archie girl, and to be honest I find all of the stories pretty fascinating. Time to dive in!

Ascension

Writer: Ken Penders Pencils: Jim Valentino Colors: Josh and Aimee Ray

So I've heard plenty of mixed opinions on this story. In it (it says it takes place just before StH#74, but I feel like it fits better before #73, actually), Sally strips down, and with Elias' blessing watching from the sidelines, wades her way into the Source of All to discover her own destiny.

The controversy comes from the "stripping down" part. Some people feel that this is totally inoffensive, that in the early days of the comic she didn't wear a vest at all and that since she's covered in fur, wearing no clothing is no more inappropriate for her than for Sonic, or Geoffrey, or Dulcy. After all, plenty of other Mobians, both male and female, have been depicted as essentially "naked" barring shoes and sometimes gloves, but it's not like this ever reveals anything objectionable. On the other hand, some people criticize Jim's art for this story, believing it to be too "sexualized," as it does undeniably seem to accentuate her figure with proportions that appear more human than traditionally Mobian, and in future reprints of this story, the artists went back and actually added her vest back in. That move in itself garnered its own criticism, considering the points I addressed before, as well as the fact that they colored her vest blue in all the scenes for some reason despite almost every scene being in sepia tone. Personally, I'm on the side of "it's not a big deal." I won't deny that her "nudity" seems to be emphasized somewhat by the art style, but I honestly don't see that as a problem. It doesn't look "sexualized" to me - instead, how it comes across is that she's being depicted as, well, obviously naked. Nakedness has been a symbol of innocence and vulnerability to us humans for basically as long as our species has existed, across almost every culture throughout our history, and even though taking off her vest and boots hardly exposes anything more than we've already seen on her before, the symbolism is clear - that by taking off her clothing for this venture, she's making herself more vulnerable and open to whatever she may find within the Source of All. Frankly, I think anyone seeing anything sexual within this issue is looking a little too hard, but I'm also of the mindset that nudity in and of itself isn't an inherently sexual thing, so your mileage may vary.

Anyway, as soon as Sally steps into the pool, she finds herself plunged into a series of visions. She first sees herself as a baby, with her mother, safe and healthy, watching over her.

The visions jump forward to her as a small child, walking through the palace gardens with Julayla during the days of the Great War. She asks why wars happen and people fight each other, and Julayla points out a (non-sapient) predator on a tree up ahead, which pounces on a (non-sapient) bird and eats it, the lesson being that in nature, violence is and will always be a part of life, and that right now, the Mobians are the bird and the Overlanders, the predator. Of course, we know that's not quite the case given that the war was deliberately manufactured, but Julayla didn't know that. Sally continues to walk through images from her life, wondering if this is what the Source of All is all about - showing pieces of one's past - but a voice assures her that there is more to it. An image of her father appears, saying that he wishes he could have kept her safe and let her live a happy and peaceful life with her brother and the rest of her family. She questions him why he never told her about Elias, and an image of Elias appears too, assuring her that their father didn't even know he was alive until recently, and that he only kept things from her to spare her any more pain. He notes that the king's actions were all born of love for Sally since she was the only family he had left, and that they should recognize this even if they disagree with his actions, and I think this is very true. I certainly think King Max made some very bad decisions along the way, but you could make the case that he was making those choices for the right reasons. Sally asks if this means he thinks their father is always right, and Elias and the garden melt away, to be replaced with a fantastic array of planets and stars spinning around Sally. An image of her own face, older and crowned with the jewels of a queen, materializes in the sky, informing her that her father, having bonded with the Source in the past, is able to sense the future through that connection. The face thrusts her into the most vivid vision yet - one of horror and destruction.

The vision ends before Sally can see if she and her children escape, or if Sonic survives, and she desperately asks the image of herself as the queen what becomes of them. The apparition tells her that the only way she can find out is if she commits to bonding with the Source - that it's "all or nothing" and if she rejects this chance now, she will have rejected it for good. Sally, upon hearing this, immediately walks away despite the face continuing to warn her of the finality of her decision, saying that she's not willing to know everything that is to come in order to become queen. And thus, she takes control of her own destiny, rejecting her birthright, and emerges from the pool.

I absolutely love this ending. In stark contrast to Knuckles, who is staunchly bound by tradition and his own birthright, Sally instead chooses to reject everything in order to forge her own path through life. It's one of the first times in the comic we've seen a character so entrenched in family tradition and destiny refuse to follow along with it, and I greatly admire her for it. I think this is a story where Penders absolutely did right by this character - it's a hard choice, and a real one, and yet in the end she seized control of her own fate regardless of what her father may think. In addition, this is the beginning of her and Elias really beginning to bond as siblings - after all, it seems like they came down here to the Source of their own volition, without the knowledge of their father - and I love the sibling bond they develop as the comic progresses. They really care for each other and always look after one another, and it's just so sweet. Good on you, Sally girl. You've done well.

Solo

Writer/Pencils: Ken Penders Colors: Josh and Aimee Ray

Hershey and Geoffrey have snuck into Robotropolis on a mission - a mission too delicate for them to carry out together. Geoffrey acts as the lookout and backup as Hershey rappels her way down a wall and into the vent system of Robotnik's headquarters. Her target is a console containing vital information, but as luck would have it, Robotnik is standing directly between her and her objective.

Her words are apparently code for "please set off a gigantic explosion somewhere else in the city," but the plan doesn’t work quite as expected, as Robotnik merely orders some of his troops to go investigate the commotion. Hershey realizes she needs a distraction that's a bit closer, and sets off a small hand grenade through another part of the vents. Robotnik, hearing the noise, finally goes to investigate personally, and Hershey quickly drops down into the room to gather the information she needs from the console.

Well, that's unfortunate, but given that he sacrificed himself to save the others it's not entirely unexpected. Hershey, as revenge, decides to leave a small present behind for Robotnik, the present being an explosive that trips as soon as Robotnik walks back into the room. Take that, asshole!

Lupe and the Wolfpack: Family

Writer: Ken Penders Pencils: Colleen Doran Colors: Josh and Aimee Ray

Hey, remember this arc? It's been many issues since we saw anything of Lupe and the gang, but they're finally back! They've finally reached the city they once called home, though it's run down and looks abandoned due to the war against Robotnik. It's actually unclear if they're aware of the renewal of the war, or if they've been too far removed from current events due to traveling. Everyone begins to express unease at being in the desolate city, feeling that there may be nothing left for them here, but Lupe insists that if her husband Lobo had had the people abandon the place by choice he would have left her a sign, and wants to search for it before committing to leaving. Before they can discuss the matter further, however, suddenly a gas grenade hits the ground in the middle of the group, and everyone is overcome and passes out. After an indeterminate amount of time, they wake back up, finding themselves imprisoned inside a building. They hear the sound of clanking footsteps down the hall, and initially believe it to be swatbots, but when the source of the noise rounds the corner…

Oh, it gets worse, Lupe! See, the person who captured and roboticized your family is none other than Uncle Chuck, having been enslaved by Robotnik once more. She's so enraged that she leaps forward, screaming at Chuck that he's a traitor and attempting to rip him to shreds, but as her clanmates hold her back Chuck threatens to dismantle her family members if she doesn't comply with hi orders. She reluctantly stops fighting, and is ushered compliantly into a roboticizer, where her own husband pushes the button to finish the deed. However, upon stepping out in her newly-robotic body, Chuck is shocked to see her suddenly rampage once more, smashing the machine and shoving her pack away from their captors, telling them to run. Somehow, she manages to hang on to her own sanity just long enough to save them, but her free will is fading fast, and so the pack has to leave her behind.

I remember when I first read this issue, I was so excited to see the return of Lupe, as I'd grown to like her as a character, and was just thinking to myself about how cool she was when this happened. Immediate devastation upon seeing the tombstone. Because, for all intents and purposes, being roboticized is a kind of death. There's only one known cure - a dedicated deroboticizer - and to be fair, those were only ever included in previous issues to further the immediate plot with no real regard for such a device's effect on the larger storyline. I highly doubt that the new Robotnik would keep such a device lying around considering how easily it could be used to topple his regime, and even if he did it would be under such tight guard there would be no way to access it anyway. So, for now, we say sayonara to poor Lupe - it's small comfort that in the end, in a sense, she was able to be with her family once more.

Upgrade

Writer: Ken Penders Pencils: FRY Colors: Josh and Aimee Ray

So Bunnie is having some unexpected problems. One day, she's lifting heavy objects with her cybernetic arm as per usual when she abruptly becomes dizzy and collapses.

She's rushed to Dr. Quack, who in turn immediately preps her for surgery to determine what's wrong. She comes to later in the hospital with her friends surrounding her, worried for her wellbeing, but Dr. Quack enters and makes everyone clear out so he can have a private discussion with Bunnie. He has some very bad news - it turns out that her central nervous system is beginning to reject her cybernetic parts, and that if something isn't done about the situation, said parts could become toxic to her organic body, slowly killing her. He says that he's surprised nothing has gone wrong sooner, and honestly, I'm inclined to agree with him - after all, unlike other characters with cybernetic parts such as Julie-Su, hers weren't even meant to be attached to an organic body in the first place, since she's the fairly unique product of a roboticization process that was interrupted halfway through. Bunnie, horrified at this news, asks Dr. Quack what her options are, and he lays it out for her.

She could simply disconnect her bionic limbs, essentially becoming a triple amputee. She could get a hardware upgrade with custom parts, which would eliminate the risk to her health but make it impossible to ever be deroboticized in the future. Or, she could chance a deroboticization process right now (likely with the same machine used in the Mecha Madness special way back when), but her chances of survival in such a case would be low due to all the modifications that have already been made to her bionic parts. She asks tearfully to be left for a while to consider her options, sobbing quietly in the dark once the doctor leaves her be, and soon Antoine walks in to check on her. She simply asks him if he could continue to love her if she stayed half-cybernetic forever, and he reassures her that he will continue to love her no matter what she looks like or what she's made of, prompting her to tearfully hug him and tell him he's the best friend she's ever had. It's very sweet, especially as we've seen these two grow closer and closer over time, going from mere teammates, to friends, and eventually to lovers. The upgrade begins a few days later, with Nate in charge of the proceedings, and soon she's standing and testing out her new gear.

I have to say, this redesign was sorely needed. Her new limbs look sleeker and more modern, and overall compliment her looks far more than the old bulky design ever did. As she says - she's better than ever, and I'm excited to see how she puts her new getup to use in the future!

Shadows

Writer: Ken Penders Pencils: Patrick Spaziante Colors: Josh and Aimee Ray

This is perhaps the least exciting of the five stories, but it gives some crucial backstory to Julie-Su and some other prominent echidnas. Apparently, something has been bothering Julie-Su for some time now, and she's finally decided to head out and get some answers. And so, she heads back to her old home - the fortress that had been hidden underground where she first saw Knuckles escaping while she was still a member of the Legion. She wanders the derelict halls, lost in memories of her old routines there, including how Kragok and the Kommissar always seemed to be keeping an extra close eye on her. In the midst of reminiscing, she suddenly hears noises as though someone is also exploring the ruins. She creeps over to where the noises are from, and soon finds herself training her gun on an elderly echidna made more out of cybernetic parts and wrinkles than ordinary flesh and blood. To her shock, he immediately recognizes her, introducing himself as Simon and claiming that he and his wife Floren-Ca raised her as their own daughter and he'd been looking for her for a long time.

In case it isn't clear, Lien-Da is the Kommissar that we've seen before, and one of my favorite villains in the comic. We get into some meaty backstory here which I'll try to summarize as best I can. Essentially, when Kragok and Lien-Da were eight, the Dark Legion hopped through the portal from the Twilight Zone back into Mobius Prime, but doing so quickly made Merin-Da sick, and despite Luger's attempts to restore her to health by taking the Legion back through the portal, she died of her illness. Luger took a couple of years to recover, but eventually remarried to another woman, Mari-Su, with whom he had another child - Julie-Su. Kragok and Lien-Da, now seventeen, were intensely jealous, viewing their father's new wife and child as a threat to their own ambitions. They arranged for Mari-Su to meet her end in a tragic accident, and a despondent Luger handed Julie-Su off to Floren-Ca to raise.

Well, that's messed up. Julie-Su asks why she doesn't remember any of this and Simon says he suspects that after a while, when she was old enough to join the Legion's ranks directly, they performed another mind wipe on her. After the Legion opened the portal a second time, he took Floren-Ca through and they settled on the Floating Island, away from the Legion. However, now that he's found Julie-Su, he wants to take her back to see Floren-Ca once again, and Julie-Su eagerly agrees. Strangely enough, however, this encounter is never explored in subsequent issues, and in fact Simon and Floren-Ca aren't even brought up again until much later. It's a bit bizarre given how this is kind of built up to be a big reveal about Julie-Su's until-recently-unknown past, so unknown in fact that even she herself didn't know anything about it, but all we can assume is that she just went with Simon and met up with Floren-Ca and they had a nice happy reunion and then she went back to her normal business afterwards, because no one really mentions it again. Ah well!

[bthump]

what are the things you like and dislike about the '97 anime and the films?

ty for asking, i’m just gonna write a few long lists lol

97 anime likes:

the animation, including the like, yk the more detailed stills they pan over in place of action or to punctuate important moments, i love it

the gorgeous backgrounds

most of the colour choices. red eclipse, femto’s blue eyes, casca’s skintone, griffith’s mauve clothes, etc.

how close it is to the manga. like, it’s a solid adaption just by virtue of making very few changes.

so like, most of it really, because i like the manga

special mention to the entire lead up to the eclipse from griffith’s reality break to the sacrifice tho, because i think that was all pretty damn perfect. it’s the most important scene and they did it right.

actually also shout out to casca’s flashback to griffith and the dead kid, gennon, the river scene, all that. another difficult v emotional sequence that they nailed imo.

griffith thinking about how he “loves” guts during the monologue

skipped most of the griffith/charlotte sex scene iirc which i approve of

the glimpse of black swordsman guts in ep 1. it’s not perfect but it’s way better than the ovas starting w/ 15 yr old guts

the opening and closing themes. fucking love both songs ngl

also the opening monologue. never get tired of hearing it

the score

the portrayal of griffith was honestly pretty solid imo. i have very few issues there. and lbr that’s important lol

97 anime dislikes:

not a big fan of griffith or guts’ character designs.

just about everything that isn’t identical to the manga is a change for the worse

turned griffith’s scratch marks into that giant unexplained scar

adding extra scenes where casca is secretly impressed with guts’ skills in battle in an attempt to build up their relationship better, which instead just made casca look unfair for still being a dick to him for 3 years and made guts stupidly gary stu-ish

obviously the straightforwardly romantic portrayal of guts and casca’s relationship

through several seemingly minor changes (eg, skipping guts’ night of self-doubt after he leaves, giving guts’ stay with godo its own half-episode, making guts inviting casca along super romantic rather than the incredibly casual and assholish way he does it in the manga, etc) it makes Guts’ dream seem legitimately noble and worthwhile, with none of the like… implicit critique the manga has. like honestly it completely fucks up what i consider one of the central themes of the story lol

the pre eclipse stuff also fails to sell guts’ sense of regret - through things like playing guts’ theme while judeau is telling guts to leave, not repeating guts’ statement of regret after casca tells him to leave again, the tone remains consistently in favour of guts’ dream. wrong and bad.

like it really reads like the suggested tragedy is that guts doesn’t get the chance to ditch griffith with judeau and take off with casca and the raiders lol

also fucks it up by never directly mentioning guts’ csa trauma

also fucks it up by losing guts’ self-destructive single-minded urge to fight monsters that we saw thru the wyald stuff. i’m not gonna say that losing wyald was a bad decision, but they should’ve at least moved erika suggesting that guts just wants to fight zodd again to the fucking waterfall scene in question, which they portrayed completely sans zodd discussion, completely sans implication of the self-destructiveness of guts’ dream

like in the manga he nearly gets killed by the falling logs and just laughs it off like a dumbass while erika is concerned and suggests that guts is driven by something irrational and not actually a ~noble~ dream, ie, wanting to fight zodd again (ie, going deeper, his csa trauma), while in the anime we get a 2nd scene where he successfully slices through the logs as a super basic symbol of growth and a narrative pat on guts’ back that shouldn’t be there!

honestly just fucking everything about the portrayal of guts’ dream lol it just takes it at face value in a way the manga consistently never did and always undermined and critiqued, and it bugs the hell out of me.

guts is just drawn in a way that makes him look angry way too often and he often feels ooc to me bc of it. like he lacks a lot of the warmth he has in the manga imo

showing that griffith is awake when guts says “i’ll stay too” even tho in the manga those words are placed over a panel of him asleep for a reason like, ffs

lots of other random nitpicky details that only i give a fuck about because my opinions and feelings about the story are too strong lol. like not showing griffith’s face when he asks if guts thinks he’s cruel

oh huge one: moving the scene where the torturer rips off griffith’s behelit from about a day after he was imprisoned to right before his rescue. completely trivializes griffith’s torture because it still looks like he’s been in there for a day at most

why on earth did it end where it ended????????????? who’s bright idea was that? the perfect ending is skull knight riding tf out with guts and casca and femto not killing them, but then they also cut out skull knight’s first appearance so idfk man.

oh some downplaying of griffguts, like i can’t complain too much about this because it was still p homoerotic, but things like omitting guts assuming griffith wants to fuck him right before their first duel. boo.

ultimately at the end of the day as much as i do genuinely like the anime, it’s not telling quite the same story the manga was - the story it’s telling is more boring and basic. but because it sticks so close to the manga the good story still shines through? it just means there’s inconsistent tone choices and stuff, like the aforementioned grievances.

it’s like, they kept casca’s diatribe at guts line for line while she’s screaming that griffith needed him and a man can’t live on dreams alone, but they don’t extend that train of thought to guts going off to pursue his dream, while the manga does.

anyway despite that giant list of dislikes i still think the anime is pretty fantastic overall. i just also like, blame it for a lot of wrong fandom takes lol.

movie likes:

character designs! honestly imo everyone looked pretty great.

they played up the homoeroticism and i appreciate that

illustrating griffith being torn between guts and his dream through that lovely moment when he catches guts when he nearly falls off the stairs right before he catches charlotte, and in a more romantically suggestive way

the whole scene where griffith shows up at charlotte’s window thoroughly improved on the manga, so hats off there. loved how completely out of it he was to the point where he barely realized where he was and immediately turned to leave when charlotte was like ‘woah dude wtf,’ love that charlotte was the one to ask him to stay and then physically move his hand back to her tit, love how emphatically griffith was thinking about guts during that sex scene, etc. like it’s still not perfect, but it is a vast improvement.

griffith showing up in person after the hundred man fight was a nice touch

it was cool that they got a lot of the same english vas from the anime dub back, and they all did a gr8 job. like it’s a pretty good dub imo.

i liked that they moved ‘the crystalization of your last tear shed’ to after guts’ post-eclipse breakdown

compared to the anime at least gtsca was more low-key and chill rather than dramatically romantic. still don’t want it there, and still not as… unromantic as the manga, but i’ll take what i can get

the animation during griffith’s transformation into femto, yk that whole sequence, was cool

slan’s english voice was super sexy

ummmmm i feel like they conveyed the whole dreams are stupid theme, and guts’ decision to leave being a mistake, better than the anime? like i got the sense that the ova ppl recognized that was a theme, at least. i’d have to watch them again to really be sure of that tho

movie dislikes:

GRIFFITH’S. NARRATIVE.

like holy fuck they completely destroyed his character lmao

i cannot believe

no backstory! no tombstone of flame! no ‘do you think i’m cruel?’ THAT WAS THE REASON HE MADE THE SACRIFICE FFS HOW DO YOU SKIP IT????

no dead kid angst, gennon only in vague implication, no self harm - oh no wait we saw self inflicted scratches, they were just completely contextless and meaningless to the point where we could assume charlotte’s nails made them

no torture chamber monologue

no guts monologue in the tavern either for that matter

no rooftop scene

again barely the implication of guts’ childhood trauma, both the sexual abuse and the general parental abuse. one vague flashbacky nightmare doesn’t cut it, it’s the cornerstone of the story

like i get it, it’s a movie trilogy, you have to cut some things, but goddamn, cut out gtsca. trim the hundred man fight. add 20 minutes to the first ova and take the insanely long rape scene out of the third. trim down the whole eclipse sequence. don’t cut out like… the story. like they cut out SO MANY emotionally relevant scenes and kept so many much less relevant scenes, idek.

and like let’s be real here, they turned griffith from an immensely interesting and complex character into a 1 dimensional dude who is torn between a vaguely evil ambition and being in vaguely evil love with guts, just for the sake of streamlining the least interesting aspects of the story

they don’t even try to pretend otherwise lol, look at his fucking hilarious evil smile here

also while i’m looking at it, in general i think they failed at the whole eclipse sequence. looks, lighting, colour, build up of tension… there are a few minor improvements here and there (eg casca’s point of view shot of femto, femto telekinesising guts back a la the black swordsman arc which emphasizes his failure to act when he escapes), but overall it doesn’t work for me at all. like imo the anime has the exact same highs and lows as the manga, but while the ova avoids some lows it never reaches those highs.

they also had griffith overhear guts saying he wants to stay. i really don’t get why this happened twice lol, like… ok his face is kind of shadowed here but he’s still very clearly asleep? this is an important detail, guts’ interrupted words are even on that very panel, so why would you go out of your way to show that he’s awake and listening at that point.

the pacing sucked. 3rd movie was too long, 1st was too short, and they skipped waaaaaay too many significant scenes that should’ve been there as emotional beats

honestly the movies are pretty, they’re nicely fanservicey in ways, they capture some good subtleties and nuances at times, but they’re a husk of the story

oh did i mention the music during the eclipse rape? incredible.

also i am actually generally positive about the movies too despite what it seems like here lmao. i’ve watched them all like, 3 or more times and i find them v enjoyable.

i just have a way easier time listing nitpicky flaws than positives honestly. the flaws stand out to me, the virtues pass me by because i’m just enjoying them and not dwelling on them

and lbr here at the end of the day no adaption will ever really satisfy me unless i somehow find several million dollars lying around and make my own lol. and that would probably be a flop anyway.