#but in reality it's because he wanted to be in control. he wanted power.
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
rjzimmerman · 1 day ago
Text
Excerpt from this Rolling Stone story:
A series of powerful wildfires has turned large swaths of Los Angeles into smoldering ruins. As first responders attempt to control the blazes, heavy winds are quite literally fanning the flames — to the point that the fires have now been ravaging the city for days. There is a clear link between climate change and the severity of recent wildfires. Climate-denying conservatives are instead blaming the devastation on California’s “woke” politics.
“DEI means people DIE,” Elon Musk wrote Wednesday on X in response to a video of Los Angeles Fire Chief Kristin Crowley discussing how she wants to diversify the department.
Musk also responded “True” to a post from conspiracy theorist Alex Jones about the fires being “part of a larger globalist plot to wage economic warfare and deindustrialize the United States before triggering total collapse” — and then later deleted his response.
Musk has not deleted his promotion of several other posts blaming the destruction on diversity initiatives. “Los Angeles deliberately set out to exclude white men from becoming firefighters, and now they don’t have enough firefighters to prevent their city from burning to the ground,” wrote right-wing commentator Matt Walsh in one post endorsed by Musk. “DEI is a cancer that destroys everything it touches.”
Former Fox News host Megyn Kelly accused Fire Chief Crowley and Mayor Karen Bass of prioritizing “DEI” over the city’s fire management capabilities. “In recent years, L.A.’s fire chief has made not filling the fire hydrants top priority, but diversity,” Kelly raged on Wednesday. “Who gives a shit if the fire chief is gay. I’m sorry, but who gives a flying fig about who she likes to sleep with, can you fight the fucking fires, madam? That’s the relevant question.” 
There’s no evidence that the fire department’s push for diversity has any affect on its ability to fight fires. It’s also not true that Bass cut the department’s budget by $23 million, another claim that has spread throughout right-wing media.
Conservatives have also been pushing the false idea California Gov. Gavin Newsom’s water policies have prevented the city’s ability to fight the fires. Trump has long been bashing Newsom over the policies, and has blamed him directly for the fires this week. “One of the best and most beautiful parts of the United States of America is burning down to the ground,” the president-elect wrote today. “It’s ashes, and Gavin Newscum should resign. This is all his fault!!!”
On Fox News, host Jesse Watters decided to blame Native Americans for the devastation, as well, claiming that Newsom has “been tearing down dams” because “Indians wanted some of the river back so they could catch salmon. Gavin didn’t just knock down one dam for the Indians, he knocked down all four.” 
“And these dams were a go-to source for firefighters to pull water from to fight fires up north. Gavin’s literally tearing down Western civilization for fish and Indians,” Watters said, repeating the claim in another segment aired on Wednesday.
The fires currently destroying Los Angeles — as well as the fires that have increasingly been devastating the West Coast in recent years — are the result of hot, dry conditions caused by climate change. These conditions are inevitably going to lead to natural disasters that are going to overwhelm any infrastructure, regardless of the race and gender of the people running it. It’s an inconvenient truth for conservatives, who would rather point their fingers at minorities than acknowledge the reality of the climate crisis.
170 notes · View notes
solecize · 8 hours ago
Text
Tumblr media
  𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐎𝐔𝐆𝐇 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐌𝐈𝐒𝐓 | 𝐣𝐮𝐧𝐠𝐤𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐱 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 (6)
remember lookin' at this room, we loved it 'cause of the light now, i just sit in the dark and wonder if it's time  ten years of being one and the same with jungkook as the country's it couple is the perfect disguise for the reality of a tumultuous relationship hidden behind the scenes. ten years of lies and love and crawling back to one another. once shy, budding first love that blossomed before the weight of fame, the cracks begin to surface amidst your respective rises to stardom and navigation of your twenties. either finding euphoria or the end of the world, there's never any in between in existence for you and jungkook. as you build each other up and break each other down in front of millions of eyes, there is a crossroads ahead with words of "marriage" and "military" looming in the air - all while ignoring the price of fame breathing down your necks. this is the story of love and the lessons learned from the man you made your religion.  and i wouldn't marry me either, a pathological people-pleaser who only wanted you to see her
𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘: jungkook picks up the pieces of the mess he made, as he looks back on his choices and the people he surrounded himself with. 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐒: idol!jungkook/female idol!reader and fictional versions of various idols 𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐑𝐄. idol au, on-and-off relationship, angst, i swear there's fluff, fake dating, and themes of first love, growing up, struggles with fame, and marriage (ish) 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒. PLEASE DON'T EXPECT HAPPINESS, portrayal of a toxic couple (implications of emotional abuse and control), both main characters are very flawed, violence, infidelity, foul language, substance use (illegal drugs) 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄. based off of "you're losing me" by taylor swift. this is a fictional portrayal of real-life people that implement some aspects of real-life events. hi welcome back everyone!! it's been a very long time since the last update and i just really wanted to push something out, so hopefully this doesn't seem super rushed because it was important for me to get over my writing slump:) ㅤㅤㅤㅤ   ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ   ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤjoin the taglist here!
Tumblr media
ㅤㅤㅤㅤ   ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ   ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤm.list | previous | next
every mornin' i glared with you with storms in my eyes how can you say that you love someone you can't tell is dyin'?
TOP HEADLINE TODAY: are bts' jungkook and s.iren's nova the new power couple of the entertainment industry? positive reception indicates rare acceptance of idol relationshipㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ
ㅤㅤㅤㅤ   ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ   ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ   may 2018
jungkook was still so young, but as he examined his appearance in the mirror, he couldn’t help but notice the way age settled beneath his skin. one couldn’t tell by first glance, but his eyes were old and tired. it was difficult to remember the last time they lit up with a spark, rather than sitting half lidded and apathetic. his lips were fixed into a permanent frown when he was away from the cameras, despondent like worn out leather. nothing could cut through the fabric, especially not now. he was reminded of this, as his manager read out his schedule for the day and several stylists picked at his dark hair that fell just above his eyes now. his shoulders drooped further when he heard your name amongst the activities laid out for him.
“the red carpet begins at seven, your and y/n’s car will arrive at approximately seven twenty four - not too late, not too early that nobody will be there.”
this was the first public event that the two of you were scheduled to attend as a couple. of course, that was nerve wracking enough, but it didn’t help that you were still giving him the cold shoulder. he didn’t expect anything else and any blame would be misplaced, but it was worrying to look forward to feigning happiness for the cameras. he knew you like the back of his hand and you were a horrible liar. he knew every quirk at the corner of your lips when you smiled and the way a crease formed between your eyebrows when you grew frustrated. jungkook was one of the only people who noticed the way you bit the inside of your cheek when you got nervous and how you looked at people’s ears instead of their eyes when you got shy. 
once upon a time, he would say that it was because you were his. now, you weren’t and he was just some stranger who knew every inch of you with his eyes closed.
jungkook hated himself for what he did to you and what he hated even more was that the world continued to spin regardless. his members, some oblivious to jungkook’s betrayal and others simply just suspicious of his faithfulness to his girlfriend, continued treating their youngest member as usual. seokjin and jimin gave him the hardest time, as the former was genuinely the most disappointed in jungkook and gave him a week-long cold shoulder after yelling at him, while jimin had to bear witness to the dramatic confrontation at hotel azure. however, there was no choice but to simply condemn jungkook’s actions and move on - they were still a unit whose careers relied on each other. they were also brothers at the end of the day and disagreeing with one person wouldn’t break their bond. 
besides, it was clearly a sensitive topic for jungkook, despite the mass of guilt weighing his body down with every breath he took. no one heard from him for days following the dispatch article, presumably locked up in his apartment and drinking his consciousness away. everyone knew about his growing drinking problem, but were shocked to see the extent of it when they finally confronted him.
“i don’t think you should be the one crying and hiding,” muttered hoseok, who led the charge in recovering jungkook after everyone got fed up with him ghosting anyone who tried to reach him.
it was the eldest four of the group who broke into his home, just several hours prior to their flight to tokyo for a weekend-long event. this was after the first few days since the news broke and since anyone saw him in person. seokjin, although refusing to speak to jungkook, brought food for him, while namjoon and hoseok physically dragged him out of bed and yoongi forcibly went through his belongings to pack clothes on his behalf. 
“i’m sorry, i don’t know what’s wrong with me,” was all jungkook could make out and it wasn’t clear if he was referring to the fact that he wasn’t cooperating or the situation with you as a whole. it also wasn’t clear if his hoarse speech was due to being under the influence or from crying. 
yoongi pinched the bridge of his nose, watching his members push jungkook into his washroom to get himself decent. “this. . .this is pathetic,” he said, as there were no other words to describe the scene. 
at least namjoon managed a sympathetic expression on his features. “he keeps saying over and over again that he’s sorry.”
and that was all jungkook knew. that he was sorry. that he had never made such a mistake in his life. he also knew that he had no explanation or excuse, no matter how he rationalized his actions to himself in the past few months. jungkook couldn’t figure out how he even did such a thing, until yoongi stopped him in his tracks, just before the five of them departed jungkook’s apartment. 
jungkook nearly lost balance, as his head hung low as he walked and dragged his suitcase behind him. the others looked on from the hallway, upon noticing that yoongi paused in front of jungkook before he could close the front door behind him.
“your pockets. empty them, kook.”
yoongi knew before jungkook even realized that he brought it along. it was simply second nature and that was the problem. if it was even possible for further shame to illuminate in his dark eyes, jungkook made sure to cut his gaze away to avoid his older friend’s fiery one. without a word of protest, jungkook reached into the side of his jacket and revealed a flask, which he tossed on the floor behind him. 
that was two weeks ago. it wasn’t much to be proud of, but jungkook swore on sobriety since then. 
that meant it was also over two weeks since he saw you in person. even though it felt like forever, he knew it didn’t mean jack shit to you, who he knew hated him. the look in your eyes when you begged your company to not have anything to do with him, was something he could never forget. he wanted to scrub it off his skin until it was raw. the shame jungkook felt overwhelmed him to the point where he knew he wasn’t even worthy to feel guilt. he was embarrassed for the man he became. 
however, the world kept spinning. nobody stopped to care for his problems or his mistakes, especially with the career he chose. jungkook was bts’ jungkook and people were relying on him - his fans, his group members, his company. nobody cared and he didn’t expect anyone to. 
he didn’t care about the world continuing to spin in spite of him - his thoughts were consumed with how you were doing as the sun continued to set and rise amidst your suffering. jungkook couldn’t even bear to look you up on social media or the internet. sure, he would be reminded of the insane predicament that your companies just placed on the two of you, but more importantly, jungkook knew that he had no place checking up on you. he wanted nothing more than to pull you into his arms and weep, to patch up the deep wound he inflicted on you. when your companies made the publicity plan official, jungkook thought it was the heavens above granting him some sort of second chance at winning you back. 
yet, as he waited in a limousine, waiting for your arrival to drive over to this red carpet event, he was nervous. jungkook felt oxygen trapped in his throat, choking on the fear of facing you once more and it burned a deep hole in his body. he didn’t deserve this. you didn’t deserve this. 
over the past two weeks, you didn't know how else to deal with your emotions other than the only way you’d done so for years - by ignoring it and shoving it into the back of your mind. if anyone crossed paths with you, they would simply congratulate you on the successful relationship and ask to say hi to your new public boyfriend. you would plaster on a tight smile and thank the person through your teeth. 
the worst part was that no one even knew. even if they were present on that fateful night at hotel azure, any party attendee who saw the news could only assume that you were merely a spineless coward that crawled back to jungkook despite being publicly betrayed. you were defenseless and all of your walls were broken down.
it was an ironic thing, for the two of you to be so alone in the world and being pushed towards one another at the same time.
anyone could see that something was wrong, but it didn’t matter and no one dared to speak up. your makeup artist’s curious eyes were hard to miss, as she prompted for you to stop furrowing your eyebrows during the application of your foundation, but your pr manager’s cut eye from the corner of the dressing room silenced any questioning.
“how many times did you read it over?”
through gritted teeth, you responded, “seven.”
the stack of papers wedged between a flimsy plastic binder were just about as thick as your wrist and felt heavier that it actually was - likely because you were forced to carry it everywhere you went for the past few days. it was a collection of various documents relating to media and public relations, including the full-length version of your NDA with your company and bighit in relation to your coupling with jungkook. there was also a detailed guide to answering interview questions, how to stand next to one another, social media etiquette, and anything that could ever come up. hell, there was written practice on how to look at one another. 
ms. choi was the special pr manager assigned to all activities and releases concerning your public relationship. you had met her at the meeting with the board of directors at the bighit company building and she reminded you of a math teacher that you used to hate in school. domineering, always looking over your schedule, and sent shivers up and down your spine. she was not someone to be messed with and above all, she was extremely particular about how she wanted things done. anyone would be a fool to cross her - perfect for the role she was hired to do.
she required you to review the binder several times before all public appearances and it was exhausting. you also had an inkling that your beloved didn’t have the same treatment and your suspicions were confirmed when you crossed paths with him for the first time in weeks, bearing no papers or preparation of any kind in his hands.
instead, he was positioned at the farthest corner of the limousine when the door was opened for you, taking his own precautions against you.
jungkook’s stomach dropped when the vehicle came to a stop in front of the familiar sight of your company building. there was a ticking time bomb at the core of his ribs and it was an explosion to be set off as soon as he saw your shadowy figure approach through the tinted windows. even though he’d been doing everything in his power to brace himself, he still flinched when the door swung open.
his entire body turned cold with rage and guilt when his eyes fell on you. he imagined greek goddesses dripping in gold and glowing in divinity throughout the history of time, but they still wouldn’t hold a candle to you. it was difficult to pinpoint the source of such celestial haze - perhaps your appearance long muddled in self-hatred and anger since hotel azure and now a glistening memory being remembered before his very eyes. it was like learning a lost nostalgia, as if it had been more than mere weeks since laying eyes on you. the taste was bitter and he refused to deem himself worthy of such a thing, but if you picked at jungkook’s brain and held him against his will, it would be a whispered confession of falling in love all over again.
in a tint of twinkling champagne, you donned a floor length evening gown with a fitted, mermaid silhouette. the beaded sweetheart neckline hugged your torso and was accentuated with a sharper edge at your clavicle, before creating a bolder figure flaring out into an hourglass shape. your hair was slicked back into a wet look, as loose curls enhanced by waist-length extensions framed your face. the makeup chosen for the look was simple - a nude gloss, soft flush of pink blush and a sharp eyeliner wing. the star of the show was truly your dress, as just a pair of small gold drop earrings were your only accessory. 
thankfully, the dress wore you and not the other way around, as your misery was too loud to not be seen and so, the glamour of your attire created a successful camouflage. if anyone looked at you, they would only see your beauty and not your anguish - a heartbreaking curse on women who chased fame as their body of work. 
the curse almost snuck past jungkook, who initially was struck by your appearance, but then saw the way you bit the inside of your cheek. the way emptiness sunk behind your regard. the way you accidentally locked eyes with him and broke away immediately, as if letting a curse word slip or touching something too hot.
“ten minutes to arrival.” jungkook’s manager cut through the obvious tension in the air, thick as nectar.
you sat opposite of him, pretending to pick at your manicured nails after setting your binder next to you and in between his manager. the space was well-needed, as you could barely acknowledge any of his team in the limousine. 
jungkook replayed this moment prior to your arrival dozens of times in his head and in every version, he couldn’t even sputter out a polite greeting. he had no place. in this timeline, he, too, failed to say hello.
as the next few seconds progressed, those around you and jungkook were shifting in clear discomfort. jungkook wasn’t exactly prepared by any means, as his staff had barely been able to get him to respond with something more than a grunt and nod to any attempted interaction throughout the day. meanwhile, your team was watching you like a hawk, policing you like a child with your every move. 
naturally, someone from your side - thinking that they uncovered the secret key - reached into a compartment and pulled out a pristine bottle of cristal. 
with the hopes of easing the tension-filled air, she looked between the two of you and mused, “first public appearance together. drinks anyone?”
you were reaching for a flute already, even before jungkook could wave off the champagne. he didn’t miss the way several individuals in the car, including his own manager, exchanged shocked expressions at his decline. jungkook never said no to a drink before an event and it wasn’t rare for him to already show up slightly inebriated in the first place. 
for the first time, you willingly looked up at him, also taken aback. before his eyes could blink back to yours, you were already staring out the window and sipping slowly on your champagne. if you allowed yourself to let your thoughts linger too long on jungkook’s rejection of alcohol, it would mean you cared. meanwhile, he assumed you’d already gone through all sorts of emotions, likely the entire seven stages of grief. maybe you finally came to accept that you no longer needed jungkook in your life.
however, there were precisely four moments that altered everything.
moment number one occurred precisely twenty three minutes after your reunion with jungkook. at this point, he’d used up the entire time on the way to the event trying to not appear like he was sulking. thankfully, your managers began explaining the agenda for the night and several, firm reminders of do’s and don’ts for the camera. the conversation filled up the heavy, dreadful space lingering between you two in the car. 
though there was an obvious attempt to not come off as harsh, given the circumstances of clear torment between you, jungkook knew that this night was crucial. the two of you really needed to sell being a couple or face consequences that he couldn’t even imagine. this was your career at the end of the day and its fragile state laid in his hands.
so, before you knew it, the short ride was up and jungkook was greeted by the blinding lights of photographers at every angle possible, even before the car door was fully open. he knew to step out first and structure the perfect gentleman image, as this photo was surely going to be on every social media platform, every homepage, every magazine. the weight of the world rested on his shoulders and the only thing he could do was stretch a pearly white smile across his face.
“jungkook! jungkook, over here!” several reporters called out, ready like a cannon to fire away all the juicy questions in their arsenal since the relationship announcement.
throughout the past two weeks, the youngest member of bts wasn’t all that concerned with the actual publicity of the relationship. he was far too deep into grief to even consider the emotional toll that this new aspect of his job was going to have. he knew that he’d have to spend a generous amount of time with you, which was where the source of his anguish and guilt came from, but he nearly forgot how awful it was dealing with media in general. jungkook should have known that it was only going to get worse in the role he was now forced to play, as your public beau.
“jungkook! how’s y/n?” one reporter kept repeating over and over, wildly waving with one hand to get his attention.
another yelled, “jungkook, how does it feel to be the most searched term with y/n for fifteen days straight?”
while the screams were loud upon jungkook’s appearance, a hushed anticipation floated in the air. some expected other bts members to appear behind him. the crowd couldn’t even dream of the presence of jungkook’s newly official girlfriend, but as soon as one golden heel hit the velvet carpet, the floor nearly rumbled at the volume of yells. 
this time, there was no choice but to hold a fixed gaze for longer than two seconds with one another, as your figure fully emerged from the limousine and met the blinding lights. the real job had begun and it was evident by the sudden smile mirrored on your face. it took jungkook aback, as he had been replaying your devastated expression at hotel azure over and over again for weeks. he was shackled to those memories of tears in your eyes - by the pool, in the elevator, at the bighit building.
“ready?” 
it took a second to process that you were actually talking to him, as he did a double take. you arched a single, perfect eyebrow at him, as if he just told you a funny joke. one thing you always kept up was the fact that you insisted you were the funnier one out of the two of you, often playing the dynamic of a straight man that refused to laugh. 
jungkook realized what you were doing - already portraying a different character for the cameras and it was one of a loving girlfriend that really wasn’t his. despite the heaviness in his chest, he had no choice but to play along, too.
he held out his arm for you and you gladly grasped it, looping your own through. although fans and reporters alike were still screaming at the top of their lungs, the touch of your hand on his arm nearly hurled jungkook back and to the ground. he forgot what it was like, to have your touch and to see your smile. moment one made him forget who he was and where he was, as if he was just yours once again. 
this single, seemingly mundane, snapshot of the night was immortalized within jungkook’s mind. it was a second that transported him back in time, almost mockingly. he decided right then and there that he would be chasing these moments for as long as he could.
there was a certain fear that settled in jungkook’s skin, wondering if he would forever have to deal with your silence behind the scenes or suffering through forced touches in front of the cameras. 
over time, it got better. when forced together in spaces like these, he was still too concerned with walking on eggshells around you to even try anything with you. he was too ashamed to talk to you, to laugh with you. there was always a safe distance between the two of you and jungkook made it a point to be as professional as possible.
the worst part was that he couldn’t read you at all. despite the fact that the two of you knew each other since you were practically kids meant nothing when the only face you wore was that of a stone cold expression. it drove jungkook crazy, especially when you so obviously feigned excitement or love when your job required you to. he watched puppet strings dictate every slight change of expression on your face and it felt like rocks in his stomach. 
this safe distance was easy to maintain when watchful eyes of staff members lingered at every schedule - until they didn’t.
moment two, unlike moment one with you on the red carpet, was approached with fear and uncertainty. jungkook was ill-prepared this time around, having thought that he was looking forward to a rare friday night off when his phone and ms. choi demanded his presence across the city in less than twenty minutes. unlike the jungkook he knew in himself from even just a month prior, he wanted nothing to do with anything if it wasn’t involving laying down in his bed for the whole night.
deep down inside, he knew he wasn’t a party animal. it was nothing he yearned for, but instead, the idea of losing a bit of reality for even just a few hours. down some drinks here, take some pills there. that was the lifestyle he learned from his group of “friends.”
the “friends” was in quotations because there were a select few people in his life that openly declared themselves jungkook’s real friends - his group members, a handful of the 97 line, and others. they were in mostly opposition to the circle that jungkook ran in outside of the, which included bored chaebols, influencers, producers and club promoters with the world at the palm of their hand. they found jungkook to be a cute little idol that could be used for clout. 
namjoon often warned jungkook about the people he surrounded himself with, but it was hard when they stuck to him like glue. it was as if he had his own little minions that enabled jungkook to do whatever he felt, as they crossed paths in every major city in the world. jungkook had his boys in los angeles, his connections in tokyo, the rich heirs of singapore. being constantly on tour and away from home was painful in every sense of the word, but he was able to numb it with the people around him.
that was the beginning of the end when it came to hurting when away from you.
surprisingly, jungkook avoided groupies. it was an easy trap for anyone blinded by the shining lights of fame to get lost in that world - maybe it had to do with his members and their own reservations regarding such a thing. while the company and management were strict, anyone could get their way if they were smart enough about it. regardless, it simply wasn’t the band’s prerogative to hook up with fans. instead, jungkook crumbled under pressure through other means.
it was a friday night like tonight, but he was certainly not laying down in bed. bts was in kyoto and celebrating their head choreographer’s birthday at a dingy, hole in the wall nightclub. the walls reeked of nicotine and it was so small that he couldn’t make two steps in either direction without crashing into someone. jungkook made this very mistake and that’s how she ended up falling into his arms. from there, they laughed it off, drank too much, and ended up in his bed by the end of the night. 
the only reason why it even happened was because you uttered the words that jungkook thought he’d never hear: i hate you. the fight over the phone was about a multitude of things that was exacerbated by the distance placed between you two because of work and the fact that you were under the influence throughout the entire conversation, sipping on gin on the rocks as it progressed and became rowdy by the end of it as a result. you yelled the three words and hung up on jungkook, prompting him to also get completely wasted before attending the birthday party. he thought that was the end of it, as he heard the words that broke his heart in that moment. you were never one to pull your punches when it came to the harshness of your words, even calling him names in the past, but those three words were beyond anything else.
jungkook didn’t expect you to call him the morning after in tears, apologizing and wanting to make it right.
“dude, it’s not a big deal,” kelvin, one of jungkook’s buddies that was next in line to inherit some singaporean tech company, tried convincing him one night. 
at this point, it’d been a few weeks after the affair and he was starting to feel the guilt building. the tour was about to end, which meant coming home to his girlfriend. the feelings only began to haunt jungkook at night, when he stared up at the ceiling of whatever hotel he was staying at that night. they scraped at his insides with metal forks and jolted his senses like electricity when he dwelled too long about the betrayal he committed. 
“besides,” chimed in nina, another member of their inner circle that was sitting a little too close to jungkook. “you’ve been complaining about y/n for how long now?”
she was a tall and pretty model that looked like she was ready to pounce on the chance to be jungkook’s next hypothetical little secret. jungkook never looked at her like that, though. she’d been bordering on inappropriate closeness with him for nearing a year now and you had been warning him of this, which he ignored. then again, that was the way you were with every female that even breathed the same air as him.
admittedly, you were a bit possessive. for instance, there was no way in hell jungkook was allowed to have female friends while in a relationship with you. you had his location, he had yours - not because he was obsessive over it like you were, but because it only seemed fair. there were multiple instances of you picking fights with girls at parties or other social outings because they simply looked in jungkook’s direction. above all else, it was your way or the highway.
jungkook was a people pleaser and it was his fatal flaw that had an even weaker spot when it came to you. you were outgoing and some may call it flirtatious the way you cozied up to men and women. however, you were able to easily soothe your boyfriend with affectionate touches when he got riled up about it and that was that. it was certainly problematic that you were prone to interacting with others that would have upset yourself and that was one of the issues the two of you often fought about. 
“i don’t complain about her,” jungkook began to scoff, but nina rolled her eyes at his response.
“every time you talk about her, it just sounds like you listing off all the ways how she controls your life,” she said. “just keep doing you.”
a few of the others in the group murmured in agreement. he and his friends were enjoying dinner at some fancy french restaurant that jungkook wasn’t particularly fond of, but went along for the sake of everyone else. in front of the entire group, kelvin decided to spill the beans about jungkook’s affair and of course, they all encouraged it. he was a star, everyone had some sort of little secret on the side. it was a rite of passage amongst celebrities, even. meanwhile, like namjoon, you hated his new friends and warned jungkook that they were full of trouble. it was all the more reason for them to validate his actions and encourage him to continue his affair, maybe even pick up on a few more, when they saw you as a nuisance. 
kelvin continued, “like, come on. everyone does it. who cares if it keeps going?”
it made jungkook feel okay. besides, she was there and you were not. it wasn’t just convenient, it was too easy to create her into an outlet to get away from all his feelings and troubles that couldn’t be numbed with liquor and pills. he was able to forget about all the pressures of being an idol - the way his every move was being watched and how the entire world talked about him endlessly. he didn’t have to think so hard about his growing dependence on alcohol. he was able to forget how much he missed his family and the time he lost to be able to be a kid. jungkook was able to forget how much he missed you and how he wasn’t able to protect you from the harshness of real life - being away from each other, the stress of your respective careers, and everything in between. he knew it was wrong to keep going and there was no excuse, but he also knew he was a coward.
his cowardice is what found him in silence as he waited for you in front of your apartment complex tonight, as per the instructions given to him by mrs. choi, and the aforementioned moment two. these next three snapshots frozen in time would finally melt the ice that burned the deepest crevices of your heart: right now, the night in the hotel room during a snowstorm, and the day of your solo debut. 
43 notes · View notes
Text
Ok, at this point so many people I know have lost homes or livelihoods in one or the other if the various fires in LA county right now, and it’s kind of just heartbreak after heartbreak (and also personally scary because we have known that our own neighborhood could easily someday end up like that, too) but I want to set that a side for a second and address some misconceptions I see spreading like wildfire.
1. I’ve seen it in a lot of sites and news coverage (and we just heard my partner’s boss parrot this idea in a work call) that Biden is somehow to blame because he “should have sent out the military.” First off, there already are military resources fighting these fires (especially from the air, in black hawks, for instance) so it’s not like parts of the US military weren’t mobilized. But by and large fire responders (from CalFire, or from county and city fire departments whether from LA or not) are better qualified to fight these fires and are on the ground and in the air doing that. This is a massive mobilized force from all over the state, all over the country (firefighters from Colorado and other states are in LA) and even from across international borders, and they actually know how to fight wildland and urban fires. You can’t shoot at a fire to stop it, so generally the only truly useful military resources in a situation like this are those already specialized to fight fires, and they are already there. The US navy sent in air support from San Diego. People need to stop parroting this talking point.
2. People seem to think folks whose houses miraculously survived fires in decimated neighborhoods will be fine, but they need support, too. They don’t get an insurance payout. If they don’t have somewhere else to go, they will have to live for months in neighborhoods without working power or water infrastructure, which is not an easy task. Hopefully enough of the people who have lost places are wealthy enough to find extra accommodation or make the decision to sell their properties and rebuild their lives elsewhere, but many people probably won’t have that option, and they will still be grieving and struggling even if they are lucky.
3. The fire hydrants. People are so mad about water running out of the fire hydrants, and I get that this seems like something that should have been solved already, but this is actually a massive infrastructural issue to do with water pressure that would have required ripping out streets all over LA county, and it was probably never going to get done until massive fires like this caused an outcry, because people would have a) voted against any kind of tax measure to fund such a project and b) complained endlessly about the work if it had ever miraculously been started. It does not make sense to blame the LA city or county government for this. It really sucks, but the fire hydrants had less to do with the enormity of the damage than the absolutely horrible fire weather LA county had the day before yesterday. This is why the Hollywood fire that started yesterday evening was contained as much as it was and didn’t burn through a big chunk of west hollywood, and why the Eaton and Palisades fires got too big to contain.
You are going to hear a lot of people try to blame these tragedies on some person or agency or other, but the reality is that this shit is just going to get more and more common the more the planet warms and the USA’s west experiences an increasingly wild and variable hydroclimate. Our fire seasons are getting longer and overlapping more with dangerous wind events, and we’re having more intense rain events during the wet season that generate fuel and also greatly increase the danger of landslides post-fire. When we try to direct our anger at specific people or agencies it may make us feel better in the moment; it creates the illusion that these events are under our control, but increasingly they will not be. You cannot put out a fire like the Palisades fire under the conditions in which the Palisades fire started and gained speed. The military can’t do it. No amount of perfectly functioning fire hydrants, no increase in manpower could do it. They couldn’t even fly over it for most of the first day. It was a lost battle basically the moment it started, because of the weather. You can maybe blame the original developers of the Pacific Palisades, but mostly you should probably just be looking for ways to reduce your carbon footprint, pressure your government to reduce emissions, and encourage denser urban development while discouraging development in the WUI. Those strategies may actually make a difference to the fire prone west, and they’ll make a difference to the hurricane-prone east and southeast, and they’ll make a difference to tornado alley and to people mourning snowy winters in the north. We have very little control and the control we do have has to be leveraged correctly.
Sending love to people in the LA area dealing with fire. I hope you are safe or have somewhere safe to go.
31 notes · View notes
rocketbirdie · 5 months ago
Note
I LOVE LOVE LOVE UR DARK ZACK AU!!! everything i’ve seen about it so far just has me so !!!! its so good. and would love to hear more about it :)
ooooooughhh dark!zack my darling sweetie angel love of my life
admittedly i don't have much of a plot going for them rn LOL just jingling them like keys in my brain
It's a Zack who decided he's sick of being a doormat. Being friendly and giving people the benefit of the doubt is what led to Shinra ripping away the most formative years of their lives.
For a long time, Zack tried to uphold his code of ethics, in spite of all the violence. At first he told himself it was just to protect Cloud... but over time, the more people he had to kill, the more it dawned on him that they will never be able to return to a normal life.
Once he stopped trying to make excuses, he found himself quite enjoying his new identity as a terrifying ex-SOLDIER fugitive. Things are much simpler now that he's free of moral obligations! People finally take him seriously, nobody bosses him around, he has control and it's SO addicting.
Now don't get him wrong, he's not a psycho killer, he just... happens to, um, murder people that get in his way.
45 notes · View notes
autumnoakes · 4 months ago
Text
hyperfixations really will have you imagining a 2 hour video essay on some white guy video game character huh 😪
#HELP#thank GOD i don't have video editing capabilities i would be SO annoying#anyways there's a guy on youtube who does FASCINATING breakdowns of video game villains#i watched one on miquella eldenring and i watched one on osmund saddler re4 (2023)#i would LOVE to do a villain analysis on chronos hades2game as well. he's a fascinating villain to me#well. i have WRITING capabilities. hmmmmm#character analysis is so fun to do frfr i love examining the little guys in my video games like they're specimen#I COULD DO ONE ON LINK BOTW#(he's also a fascinating character to me idk)#help i'm discovering my true power and i don't have time for this!!!!!#i also want to do one on the character development leon has in the re2 and 4 remakes because i think its really fascinating#and i do not see it talked about enough. probably because he's peak male fantasy but i'm shaking him violently#PLEASE I NEED TO TALK ABOUT PERSONAL CHANGE AND ITS RELEVANCE IN RESIDENT EVIL 4 (2023)#ITS EVERYWHERE literally the main antagonist is trying to convince you to join him and give up control of your body#and there's this underlying narrative about how people change over time and a lot of it from leon's perspective is because of trauma/PTSD#that he's running from!!! he's not really handling it and it's coming back around again and it shows!!#he's got this sort of drive to save as many as he can but literally not long after his introduction as a character there's this really harsh#reality check that it's not possible to save everyone. but leon keeps trying and he keeps failing#and these failures stay with him into re4 and throughout that game too.#HHHHHHHRG this game is so good for no reason why is it so GOOD AUGH#anyways :) i'll stop losing my mind over this one specific blond dude in my tags now#oh god i hope no one sees these tags <- in denial#i really could go on for 2 hours about leon kennedy huh#hell i could do it for melinoë too. AND SHE ONLY HAS ONE GAME
9 notes · View notes
cdroloisms · 1 year ago
Note
Ok there are a lot of things I don't understand about Wilbur and Dream's interactions, but one of the main things that I don't quite get is the whole breaking into the prison and burning the disks with Tommy , like ok why was Wilbur so convinced that by threatening to kill himself he was gonna make Dream do what ever he wants ( burn the disks)
And well we can say that Dream was just agreeing to whatever the hell the wanted because he wanted them out of his living room ( and because he didn't need the disks) but like ,Wilbur didn't know that, what made him so sure that Dream wanted him alive especially after the prison break ( Dream didn't need his help anymore) to the point that he thought he could use it ( his life ) as leverage
Did Dream want to keep Wilbur alive, if so, then why? I don't know man, seems like the only person that would be losing in this situation is Wilbur himself.
I got more questions but like this is what confuses me the most. Idk just don't get it
Honestly I'm going to assume you know about these reddit posts, but while like I think that people should be able to draw their own conclusions to a text without strictly subscribing to what is said by the authors, like, cc!Dream and cc!Wilbur did give explanations behind what happened in this stream that I think are worth checking out: x x
A lot of people perceived cc!Wilbur's comment specifically as speaking for c!Dream in a way that was uninformed and therefore dismissed the post, which I think is...unwise? Like, cc!Wilbur literally says that he's posting from the perspective of his character's thought process, not an out of character word of god on what c!Dream actually values and believes. Further, he literally clarifies that his character isn't entirely correct and is an unreliable narrator.
But looking between the posts and looking at c!Dream's behavior, I mean. What we can say, rather definitively, that c!Wilbur was right about is that c!Dream didn't want to lose that feeling that he had leverage over c!Wilbur. Like, he's pretty damn desperate not to lose it, actually. c!Wilbur "believes that Dream has nothing if not himself"--a perspective that obviously leaves out c!Punz, considering c!Dream's secrecy in terms of this one particular ally, but is otherwise I mean. Like. Correct? cc!Dream emphasizes repeatedly that c!Dream doesn't want to lose "that feeling of control over Wilbur," that c!Dream's power over c!Wilbur is "just in his head," that he's holding onto it even though "it's seemingly gone after the exile reveal." The rest of the server's story only throws this in sharper relief--c!Wilbur literally fucking leaves the whole damn server and c!Dream is cowering in the prison worrying about him A MONTH LATER.
When c!Wilbur makes the assessment that c!Dream is going to hold onto the perceived leverage he has over c!Wilbur tightly, EVEN WHEN SAID LEVERAGE DOESN'T EXIST, to the point of doing almost everything c!Wilbur tells him to? He's 100% right. c!Dream doesn't want to break the illusion. When cc!Dream gives the two examples of what c!Dream wouldn't do, he mentions that c!Dream wouldn't "kill himself" or "give over the revive book," which, I mean. Is literally just saying the same thing twice. Which, again, just goes to show how far c!Dream is willing to go in order to keep holding onto a feeling of control, that--once again! Is emphasized by both ccs AND by the literal text (as we can see that c!Dream at no point is able to actually use the "leverage" he has over c!Wilbur from reviving him to do LITERALLY ANYTHING AT ALL) as not existing in any meaningful manner. This isn't a case of c!Wilbur having an inflated sense of self-importance or a case of him pushing his way into this conflict recklessly w/ a delusional belief that his pitch will work. This is a case of c!Wilbur (as is like, usually the case with him and c!Dream) reading c!Dream like an open book and getting exactly what he fucking wants by force, literally shouting down at c!Tommy and c!Dream until they both comply.
(And it's worth pointing out that like. This whole thing does have a visible toll on c!Dream. He's extra jumpy and defensive in the stream on the same day after Inconsolable Differences, says he went for a stroll outside the prison (something he basically Doesn't Do after he gets the prison back in Daedalus) explicitly to "keep his mind wandering," he bristles at the perception that he's being accused of a terrorist--the exact wording that c!Wilbur uses against him when he makes him write the book in the prison. c!Dream's behavior, while not yet pushed to the point where he starts lashing out in self-defense, was pretty obviously off as soon as c!Wilbur started making demands--he grows quieter, more still, visibly less comfortable--honestly, not at all unsimilar to certain behaviors that we saw in the prison arc.)
And I mean. At the end of the day. Why wouldn't c!Dream want some reason to believe that c!Wilbur would work with him? Why wouldn't he want some kind of leverage? The guy is pretty obviously worried about him, if not outright scared of him. He was ranking c!Wilbur with the likes of c!Sam and c!Quackity when he mentions him in the Finale, for god's sake. c!Wilbur was the person that first called him the tyrant that c!Dream ends up believing he has always been. c!Wilbur was the originator of L'manburg, which c!Dream blames for the literal loss of his home. c!Wilbur is like. Extremely charismatic, extremely good at convincing people that he's well-meaning, that what he's saying is right, that this-person-is-the-enemy and you-want-to-stand-for-freedom and that so-and-so is a cause worth dying for, isn't it. c!Dream was The-Man-That-L'manburg-Opposed from the minute that c!Wilbur decided so and this narrative would follow him literally for the rest of his life.
So yeah c!Dream wanted to keep c!Wilbur alive out of the delusional belief that doing so would mean he has leverage over him. Why he wants that leverage (even though he never uses it and the fact that it literally doesn't exist), I mean.
45 notes · View notes
kradogsrats · 1 day ago
Text
I feel like Avizandum might be a special case since his spirit needs to be specifically summoned? I don't know, there's a lot going on there—all of the spirits who come out of the Moon Nexus (except Sir Sparklepuff) are either content to do Aaravos's work or not aware enough to do anything but rampage. I suspect that there's some factor specifically freeing only the spirits Aaravos wants, and powerful ones who would be hostile to him have to be summoned so they can be under his control. Otherwise, if just dying knowing your greatest enemy was loose in the world was enough to keep you in the In-Between and let you walk out through the Moon Nexus (which tbh I don't think it is, so Claudia wouldn't be a factor in Callum's fate), Aaravos would probably have a bit of a Sol Regem problem.
As far as babies are concerned, I think it's not about the babies themselves, but the circumstances. I could see Avizandum having unfinished business because of Zym, given that as he dies, he knows the humans have killed him and will presumably next plunder the Storm Spire and destroy his egg—he has failed both his mate and child, in the same way that the shimmercrow dies feeling that she has failed her babies (who as far as she knows, will soon die abandoned). For that to affect Callum, he'd have to a) know Rayla was pregnant—it's clear from the rest of Rayla's squad that it's more about what the spirit believes to be true than actual reality (Ezran is not, in fact, dead)—and b) have reason to believe that the child will perish because he is absent, which is unlikely. His dominant perception would still be that he is saving his child by dying to prevent Aaravos's devastation.
I could see if like... something happened as he was imprisoning Aaravos/dying, where he's the only one who realizes that it hasn't worked as expected or there's a loophole none of them realized that Aaravos will exploit or something else where he has failed and now everyone is in danger specifically because he won't be there to tell/save them. I just don't think "Claudia is still out there" is enough.
Consider this: Rayla killing Callum ... and then immediately making a beeline for the Moon Nexus and jumping in to find his spirit, so that the next-best mage can use the last quasar diamond to bring Callum back.
There is always the chance that he hasn't moved on to the other side after all, either because of unfinished business (they haven't made ten babies yet) or because (as @spicyviren suggested here) using dark magic to coin Aaravos created a hole in Callum's spirit that prevents him from moving on.
(or because he accidentally picks the wrong exit and returns through the still inverted Moon Nexus)
49 notes · View notes
angorwhosebabyisthis · 9 months ago
Text
[pericky; a look into ricky's head during their meeting.]
---
"I'm glad you came, I wasn't sure you would." The wine pours, the sound of it drowning out the missing word in that sentence: back.
Of course, is the response, and the part of Ricky that's spent twenty years tearing itself apart to understand why vibrates with relief. It doesn't matter anymore. Of course, of course, he thinks giddily along with the words. He never needed to wonder why Pericles wasn't coming back in the first place; he was always going to.
I'm happy you invited me, and of course he thinks again. A lifetime of pretending he wasn't always going to either falls away. However harsh and lonely the world has been, all's right with it again; and the shy voice of the boy inside him that he's tried so hard to kill says, so quietly, I missed you.
#sdmi#scooby doo: mystery incorporated#pericky#ricky owens#professor pericles#anyway fucking end me actually. lay me down to die#i said i was gonna write more pericky and by fucking god i did#the 'why did you do this to me' to 'oh thank god you didn't actually do this to me' pipeline of abuse folks 🥲#which like. their last conversation is yet another devastating example of ricky finally standing up to pericles' bullshit Too Late#ricky denounces him in the strongest terms he knows; based on his own feelings and opinions and the way he sees the world#(which: even then he can't bring himself to say 'i don't love you anymore')#(the closest he can get is 'i chose you and i can't take it back; the only way i can imagine not loving you is if i never had at all')#and pericles tries to go 'nyeh nyeh whatever i don't care' (and does a real bad job of pretending he is not obviously hurt lmao)#and ricky doesn't try to understand his logic; he doesn't try to reconcile a world where pericles didn't *really* mean to do anything wrong#his response is MAYBE YOU *SHOULD* CARE.#pericles' view of the world and what's right and acceptable are warped and *wrong* and he's the one who needs to get his shit together#'you shouldn't have abused me you shouldn't have killed cassidy you shouldn't have murdered a child in cold blood'#that is MASSIVE and i think it is really telling that pericles' response is to shut him down with force instead of trying to argue any more#and that in the end is the real true fucking tragedy of it all#ricky is making huge strides one after the other to take back his freedom from pericles emotionally#....and materially it makes no difference to improve his situation in the moment; because pericles doesn't have any less power to abuse him#he never has a triumphant moment where he Overcomes His Abuser and Breaks Out of His Control#there's nothing he can do to fight back until pericles is too Literally Dead to control him anymore#it is one of the rawest depictions of the reality of abuse i've ever seen and just. God. i love it so much#(at the same time i REALLY want to explore a version of events where he got the chance to expand further on that growth)#(the 'all witches are selfish; make all things yours; i have a duty' speech from the wee free men comes to mind)#whosebaby makes things#whosebaby writes#SDMItag#dyn: when i die i want you to die too
9 notes · View notes
soft-serve-soymilk · 7 months ago
Text
More random head children musings (aside from the really sad one because that deserves better than a throwaway post):
Honestly I think it’s very fortunate that Dism’s team isn’t *entirely* comprised of lucid dreamers.
#just pav things#they’re teenagers that haven’t lived with using their powers their whole lives. they have no innate control over it#They’re FAR more likely to push themselves psychologically because of their emotional issues#And they don’t know when too far is. So they face their punishments for overtaxing themselves as a result ✨#And like. Dism wants to play hero and be the MOST useful so he overcompensates and takes on too much#Doesn’t delegate tasks/responsibility in battle to anyone else at all#And because he’s wielding that persona Inigo also overcompensates because he doesn’t want Dism to get injured#something something lingering thoughts of Archie y’know ✨#And the poor coordination that Dism and Inigo both have in Arcs 1-3.5 means Idyllia#who secretly feels she’s done a terrible job of protecting the people she cares about her whole life#then uses her healing powers to an unnecessarily high degree#because there is one borderline-suicidal not-even-dodge-tanking-as-supposed-to idiot and#trying-to-fulfill-a-misguided-social-agenda idiot 🌈#What are the ultimate results of this?#Well you have ~75% of the party who are barely holding onto this plane of existence#Dism who can barely walk or speak because he can’t *time* any movements of his body correctly#Idyllia who’s left generally shaky weak and extremely fatigued— her life and vitality disappearing into vapid traces#And Inigo who loses his senses and any bearing on reality at all. Even the most basic tasks unintuitive to him#The chances of a TPKO would be absolutely certain if not for Cynthia being able to nurse and protect them while they’re recovering 😭❤️#Honestly they are coasting by on a LOT of luck and it shows#If the end of Arc 2 was any indication…..#They do get better though <3#And that’s how they manage to pull off the successful rescue operations for Idyllia and Archie later :D We love some good teamwork :)#Now you may be thinking— how does this same concept pertain to Archie’s kids?#Theon exhibits the same symptoms as Inigo… or that’s what I would say#He’s so scared of repeating history’s mistakes that he only uses his intuition for guiding his aim and not anything like#scanning for weaknesses or seeing the future. ESPECIALLY THE LATTER#So Theon actually doesn’t tax himself much at all#Consequences for Ewan include a sheer rejection of rationality and logic and positivity#Too much light is blinding! Leaving him blind to everything but his baser impulses
3 notes · View notes
daydreamerdrew · 11 months ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
The Incredible Hulk (1968) #268 and #272
#this is exactly something that Bruce said he did not want#and now that he’s got it he’s reveling in it#he doesn’t necessarily want to end the fight quickly because he’s enjoying having all of the Hulk’s power under his control#which reminds me of Bruce’s first encounter with Sasquatch#where Walter purposely provoked Bruce into transforming so that he could see which of them was stronger#his attitude was disconnected from the serious reality of the situation and ultimately endangered an innocent bystander#and the situation with the Wendigo where Bruce and Walter just has to keep him subdued for awhile#until the superhero that can cure him of the curse gets there was reminiscent to me of Bruce’s current ‘cure’ situation#which at this point has surprisingly worked a little after the fact#but back when Bruce was working on it and it was being discussed by the cast#the idea was raised by Rick Jones that it’s unfair to the Hulk that they were trying to erase his existence#without even asking him what he thought about this cure#which is not something that Bruce or Betty would ever really consider themselves#the Wendigo being cured stands in contrast because it’s less ambiguous because he doesn’t have distinct characteristics like the Hulk does#and also he eats people#the first time the Hulk fought the Wendigo what happened was he was somehow telepathically connected to the human man#who was still in the early stage of being transformed and so still had someone separate awareness of what was happening#and disapproval of it#and the Hulk became upset on his behalf at the Wendigo for making that man do terrible things that he hated#without ever recognizing the similarity between that and his and Bruce’s situation#which seems relevant to me in Bruce’s current lack of sympathy for the Hulk’s desire to live#marvel#bruce banner#walter langkowski#my posts#comic panels
6 notes · View notes
clowndensation · 1 year ago
Text
have decided i need to write an essay about charoum's whole deal with gortash. which doesn't even get into gortash's whole deal with charoum. because that's an entire other essay.
ok the thing about charoum and gortash is that. like.
charoum is a guy who's never meaningfully been told no in his life. anybody in a position to impart any sort of boundary with him was generally murdered in the process, and then he went ahead and did what he wanted anyways. and i don't think he necessarily understood what he was doing as a child (beyond any young child's capability of understanding what murder or death means). he just knew that murder 1. felt good and natural to him. 2. meant he got to do what he wanted. 3. he's alone and scared and he misses his mom and dad, but they're not around anymore.
by the time he was able to contextualize murder as an action that had consequences outside of his own immediate self-gratification, he was already so disconnected from the idea that other people actually were people - with their own lives and hopes and dreams - that it was infinitely easier to reject any guilt or regret he might feel, in favor of leaning into this worldview he's crafted, wherein he (and orin) exist alongside other people, but aren't actually one of them.
and so while he might enjoy infiltrating the world where all the other people are (going into taverns and singing and dancing and drinking, rubbing shoulders with the nobles and aristos of baldur's gate, being an object of admiration and obsession of his fellow cultists), he understands that he (and orin) are uniquely separate from them all.
and then he meets gortash. and he's fun! he's interesting! he levers people with the same efficiency that charoum kills them. he tries to lever charoum like he's one of those ordinary people. a person on the other side of the curtain, unaware of the stage they all play on. and it works. if charoum isn't paying attention, if he underestimates gortash, focuses on something else, he'll find himself going along with what he wants without even thinking about it!
there is, genuinely, nothing more invigorating than being manipulated into doing what someone else wants, because that proves that someone else has a will separate from his own, and is capable of enforcing it onto him. which is exciting in a way that nothing else in charoum's life has ever been.
#orin exists in a special place for charoum and his worldview#because there's a kinship there - an understanding that gives her the value of personhood granted to nobody else in the world#but they're SO similar that charoum gets complacent in their relationship#like they're absolutely codependent as hell - which is realized in incredibly fucked up and destructive ways#but the relationship is mentally quite frictionless for charoum. because that's his bloodsister. he loves her and is possessive of her#but they don't really pull anything new or exciting out of each other. they just reaffirm the reality that charoum is comfortable with.#whereas gortash forces charoum to think and play on a level he's never had to before.#he starts engaging with the world not as a thing separate from him (and worthy of his simultaneous envy and disdain)#but as something interesting and worth guiding and shaping and turning into something better (per his own definition. obviously)#gortash genuinely improves charoum's life by existing as a person outside of easy control.#and charoum is endlessly entertained by trying out different scripts on gortash and watching him attempt to outmaneuver him#there's a continuous power play going on wherein the way way they reaffirm that they care about each other#is by attempting to manipulate each other - and giving the other person the stimulation and challenge of having to out think them#and it's something charoum will NEVER get bored of. because it's pretty much all he's ever wanted.#anyways.#he's a normal guys basically.#charoum
2 notes · View notes
sammygender · 2 years ago
Text
some of my most random fucking original characters from half-baked story ideas i have yet to fully develop are the most tragic ones to ever exist. like yeah the people from my current work are pretty fucked up but they don’t inspire as much pain in me as when i think about citydale characters. min truly and genuinely makes me want to cry
#it’s just. auuugh when you’re a writer and you’re sooo lonely and you’re this like 15 year old trans kid and your sisters dead and your mom#hates you and all you can do is live in your own delusion and form parasocial relationships with strangers in your class or on your tiktok#but for some reason god picks you why does god pick you is it even god??? and you create ur own little fucking self contained world through#your writing and as you write your characters based off these real life parasocial relationships you suck these real people into this fake#world and you rewrite their lives and everything about them and make them more relatable and more you and control their fates the way you#can’t control your own. and suddenly ur 16 and ur a miniature god and everyone you were obsessed with hates you so so much but you never#meant to do anything bad. and there’s one kid who gives you a chance and he’s just like you but yeah of course he is that’s because you MADE#him just like you you wouldn’t give him a happy ending or a happy life and he hates you too he has to!#and then you’re road tripping with this kid through a town that’s not real and a world that’s not your own even though you made it#and ur meeting god and ur meeting angels but who fucking knows you might just be hallucinating everything’s so murky and you don’t know when#you got blessed/cursed with these powers and you don’t know if the boy next to you is real#and you’ve spent ur life scared of god and now you become him but he can’t be bothered with you and you’re not even the only one you’re not#even special#and all this time ur sisters dead and ur parents suck and you try to rewrite both those things but it hasn’t quite worked. and ur really sad#and fundamentally you’re still 15 and stuck in ur room creating a false reality#*will toledo voice*: heyyy space cadet it’s alright to want to dream it doesn’t mean reality is mean-#Jesus fucking christ ahyway. one of these days i will sit down and i will write citydale#oc posting…#citydale#oliver talks
2 notes · View notes
rivilu · 3 months ago
Text
Putting him in the blender is no longer enough I need to-
Tumblr media
#river rambles#oc: elluin#I got to thinking about how him becoming shyka is so fucked up from a THIRD ANGLE#besides the obvious horror of it all#and the daeran pov of the person you loved that saved you from a terrifying hivemind entity becoming part of one#just. it sort of mirrors aeons in a way. yeah duh it's trickster you may say LET ME SPEAK#In the sense of . You know beings that see multiple versions of reality and timelines and everything#and are supposedly somewhat keeping order#How with the aeon in particular he genuinely felt insulted when offered the path as. He's an anomaly right. From a cosmic perspective#and it's caused him nothing but shit. To have a being that's supposed to fix cosmic errors show up to him-#and have the nerve to ask for ANYTHING? Again- insulting#but in a way Shyka isn't very different are they#of course there's the rather important detail of Elluin being part of them already#a snake biting its tail eternally- if you will#(and also the further context that Ellu is scared shitless of any Eldest more than any other entity. or god even)#just. you're on this path because you desperately crave freedom- control of your own fate#to hold it in your own hands rather than get tossed around by it like a punching bag#And you DO! But it's just not enough. When deep down you've always seen yourself as wretched and doomed. Having that notion confirmed..#well. that's it. Its set in stone. It doesnt matter that your power is SHATTERING stones- the option doesn't even cross your mind.#It was never going to. no matter how badly you want to live- you could never fathom a reason why you'd deserve to#i'm very normal about this. you can tell by the second person narration.
0 notes
crayonverse · 8 months ago
Text
i need to mkae. m y own gacha react video so i cant stop being so sick and evil abut ein because noone gets him right . ramble in tags ok ay byteee
#like he has the worlds worst inferiority superiority complex a man can have#everyone in his life hates him to the point of death. the only positive connection he ever really had was with michael The Actual Devil#he craves violence and power but hes not strong physically enough to get it naturally#he manipulates his way into every relationship and situation he can. he needs to be the center of attention. he needs to have control#the only person's opinion hes ever valued was michael who gave nothing in return. michael openly told other people ein meant nothing to him#and in s6 he tells ein 2 kill aaron when he needs aaron alive all because he needs aarons wolf form and that ein will fail in killing him#in the s6 trailer michael literally says to eins face “the fact that hes alive is the only reason i havent killed you”#and ein's response?? “I can still be useful” thats his first fucking thought#his father believed him to be a monster because he committed the sin of being a bastard child. zack projected his own insecurities onto ein#- which in turn made those fears come true. it gave michael the perfect opportunity to twist the knife in zacks gut. turn his worst fear -#- into reality.#like even though jessica tried to say that “theres nothing deeper with ein” because she cant conceptualize the horrors she unleashed#she cant deny the dynamic ein and michael had. one of a mentor and student#with the student doing everything he can to get that gold star. the prize he wanted. michael's validation. but michael would never -#- give that up to ein. he would rather ein die than ever praise him. even in death michael only glances towards eins corpse.#he doesnt say a word because why would he? ein was his little solider. an obedient dog who followed his orders.#a son whose only want was his father's attention.#as you can see my autism is strong with ein.
0 notes
sleepingdiaryzzz · 2 months ago
Text
Tumblr media
"DAD!"
Bruce sighed at the familiar call, instantly recognizing the voice. It was you, the child he never intended to have, thrust into his life by forces beyond his control. He still wasn't ready for this—wasn't ready to be a father.
In the early days, you’d tried calling him "father" or "dad," hoping for a connection. But he’d ignore you every time, barely acknowledging the title. Frustrated, you’d started calling him "Mr. Wayne" out of spite. And to your surprise, he responded. Since then, you'd settled into calling him as if he were just another public figure, like some distant acquaintance. You learned quickly that Bruce Wayne didn't want to be publicly labeled as your father, that he wasn’t comfortable with the label at all.
But now, hearing that word—"Dad"—from you in public, his irritation rose. He’d told you ages ago not to call him that outside the manor. Yet, there was also a sliver of satisfaction; he finally had a reason to confront you over it, something he’d oddly wanted since you’d moved in.
Turning around to find you, Bruce stopped short. There you were, arms around Harvey Dent, laughing in a way that sent a pang through him. It was the kind of bright, easy laughter he’d never heard from you in his presence. The warmth in your eyes, the carefree lightness in your smile—it all seemed reserved for Dent, a scene that felt oddly father-child-like.
His grip tightened unconsciously, fingers curling around the grass he’d been holding. Harvey looked back at you with an almost fatherly pride, and it stung in a way Bruce couldn’t have anticipated. In that moment, the crowd faded around him, and all he could focus on was the two of you, bonded in a way he hadn’t managed to be with you.
Your laughter rang in his ears like a melody he’d never noticed before, something beautiful and elusive. And for the first time, Bruce felt something new—a desire to be the one to make you laugh like that, a yearning to hear it directed at him. He wanted all of it for himself.
Bruce’s hands clenched involuntarily, his fingers digging into his palms. He told himself that he was better than Dent in every way that mattered—stronger, more capable, more disciplined. But in this, seeing how effortlessly Dent could make you feel safe and valued, he felt an unsettling flicker of doubt. Bruce could face any enemy, any challenge, but standing here, watching someone else make you feel what he couldn’t, he felt almost... inadequate.
The feeling was absurd. Jealousy wasn’t supposed to affect him; he’d trained himself to be above such things. But he couldn’t stop the bitterness gnawing at him as he watched Dent with you, a man whose easy warmth contrasted so painfully with Bruce’s own guarded nature. It stung to realize that, for all his power and reputation, he was losing you to his own friend. Dent looked at you with pride and affection, the kind that came naturally to him—and Bruce hated that Dent could offer you what he hadn’t even known you needed.
And then, through the murmur of the crowd, your voice rang out again—“Dad!”—directed at Dent, not him. Something twisted painfully in Bruce’s chest, his vision blurring as he watched you lean into Dent’s embrace, trusting and relaxed. The sight was a punch to his pride, yes, but more than that, it was a revelation of all he’d pushed away, all the moments he’d let slip by because he hadn’t wanted to be vulnerable.
For the first time, Bruce felt an unfamiliar desperation creep in, a fear he’d never faced even in the darkest moments of his life. Losing you to Dent seemed almost absurd, yet it was becoming a reality before his eyes. He was starting to see the damage his own indifference had caused, each unspoken word and dismissed gesture now cutting him deeper than he would ever admit aloud.
If only he’d turned around that first time you called him "Dada." If only he’d been there, shown you warmth instead of distance. Now someone else was in the place he’d abandoned, and he feared—truly feared—that you were already too far out of his reach to bring back.
Tumblr media
(A/n: feel free to use this idea to make a story! Though you needa tag me too😼)
4K notes · View notes
phantom-dc · 25 days ago
Text
Bruce sighed.
He never thought he would die like this. When he started out as Batman he was certain he would meet his end fighting the criminal underworld of Gotham. When he got older and life got stranger, he believed he would die fighting off a threat like Joker or Deathstroke, maybe even Darkseid. Being used as a human sacrifice to the King of the Infinite Realms was not on that list, let alone being a willing sacrifice.
Unfortunately, it had been necessary. An asteroid was on collision course with Earth. The asteroid had a colony of sapient alien life on it, so destroying it was not an option. As the League grew desperate, Constantine revealed a similar incident had happened a few years ago. The King of the Infinite Realms had, along with his subjects, turned the Earth intangible and both the Earth and the Asteroid had survived. Constantine isn’t sure why or how, but there are signs an extremely powerful ghost had merged realities and in the process erased the memories of this event from the entire population of Earth! The only reason Constantine knows about it is because a Demon with time-based powers told him during one of their poker games. Summoning this King was risky, as they had no idea what the King would want in return, but this entity seemed like their best bet. Now Bruce thinks they had been wrong.
Superman pulled Bruce out of his thoughts:
“Bruce, are you sure you want to go through with this? If we work together, we might be able to-”
Bruce cut him off:
“No, Clark. You heard Constantine. If we do not hold up our end of the deal, the Ghost King could simply make his ally, this “Clockwork”, reverse time to before the planet was saved. The Earth and the asteroid will still be destroyed, killing everyone on both. This is the only way.”
Clark looked dejected. He knew his friend was right. The King had turned the entire Earth intangible with one hand! He knew the League couldn’t defeat this foe, not without help. Any being that could help them would demand even more bloodshed in exchange, though. One human life in exchange of saving the entire planet had been a steal, according to the Justice League Dark. Clark looked at Bruce:
“Are you going to put on your cowl? This will be the only chance you have to tell the other Leaguers who you are.”
Bruce looked at his cowl. He had taken of his suit, so that his family had something to bury. But to reveal his identity to anyone other than Clark....
“I will keep it on. Even if I die here, I cannot risk anyone finding out my identity and using it to get to my family. I hope the League understands.”
Bruce is pulled into a hug. As Clark holds him as close as he can without breaking bones Bruce cannot help being filled with regret. He wanted more time with his family and, dare he say, friends. This was not how things were supposed to go. Clark pulls away and seems to want to say something:
“Bruce, I just want you to know, I-”
“WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON, B?”
Suddenly Nightwing enters the room, along with the entire Bat-family. Even Alfred and Oracle, donning masks, are there. They looked confused and scared, which made sense. They had all been summoned to the Watchtower, and when they had seen non-field members there as well they knew something was very wrong. Robin stepped forward, demanding an explanation:
“Father, what is happening? Why did you ask for us here? Explain yourself this instant!”
Red Robin looked ready to fight, staff in hand and in a low stance:
Where is the danger? Who is the enemy? Do you have intel for us? ARE YOU BEING MIND CONTROLLED?
Spoiler yanked at Red Robin’s cowl, pulling him out of his paranoid spiral:
“Easy, Captain Paranoid! Let him speak!”
Red Hood was clearly agitated. It was never a good sign if he was asked to the Watchtower:
“The fuck is going on, old man? Are you dying or something? That’s my stick, not yours!”
Bruce steeled his nerves. This was not going to be an easy conversation. How does one tell their family they are going to die and there is nothing to be done about it? Things had been going well for them, too. Dick and he hadn’t fought as often anymore, Jason had not called him names when he patrolled Crime ally last week, Tim hadn’t done anything that could be considered villainous (that he knew of) and Damian had not stabbed any goons for a month. Truly things had been good. Bruce knew this would mess it all up. He feared Jason would start killing again, or Damian would take out his grief on the criminals or Tim would… Well he had no idea. Last time Bruce disappeared Tim blew up so many LoA bases (he still wasn’t sure whether there had been people inside or not), so it was anyone’s gue-
“Sir, could you please elaborate on why we are here? I’m assuming it has something to do with the reason for this dreadful cold, and perhaps your lack of a shirt?”
Bruce sighed. Alfred always knew how to get through to him. With a heavy heart he told them everything. He would sacrifice himself for the survival of both planets. There was nothing to be done about that, and he asked them to please accept his decision. Naturally everyone was outraged. Amidst the chaos, Orphan asked a question:
“Why you?”
Bruce explained that, according to Constantine, the King had asked for a single sacrifice in return: “To feast on a non-magic, non-meta mortal human that will not resist being consumed.” It had pointed specifically at Batman, making sure they all knew which one it wanted. There had been no time to negotiate the prize, so he had accepted. After that it had left immediately for Earth, turning it intangible so the asteroid flew through harmlessly and fulfilling its end of the deal. Orphan seemed to think for a bit, before speaking up again:
“We’ll miss you.”
She hugged Batman. The others, realizing there was nothing they could do, at least not before facing the King, joined in as well. Bruce told them how proud he was of everyone. That they were strong and brilliant, and to please protect each other and Gotham in his stead. He thanked Alfred and Oracle for their help over the years and to please continue to support the others with the same strength they used to help him. After a moment they were interrupted by a knock on the door.
Wonder Woman had entered the room. With a saddened expression, and a dented doorhandle that showed her tension, she had come to collect her friend.:
“Batman. It’s time.”
Bruce nodded at her. Thanking her, he tried to leave with her, but was stopped by Alfred. After a quick hug, Alfed offered Bruce a cookie from the plate he had brought along:
“Every man deserves a final meal. I’m sorry this was all I have to offer.”
Taking a grateful bite, Bruce allowed himself to indulge in the taste of home.
“Thank you, Alfred. This means more to me then you realize.”
Steeling himself once more, Batman and the others followed Wonder Woman to the main room. It was the largest room in the Watchtower, several stories high with observation platforms, security screens showing cities all over the planet and a teleportation platform. As they approached the room, Batman was surprised by the cold that radiated form the entrance. Opening the door the source of all the cold and grief became visible to the group. Signal had to shield his eyes:
“What the hell!?!”
There it was, the High Ghost King of the Infinite Realms. A giant being, which had been so large they had to move to the observation platform to speak with it. Even then it towered over the heroes. It’s skin impossibly dark, with constellations spotting its tail & torso. The stars converging on its lower arms, making it look like it was wearing glowing white gloves, the same as a strange symbol on his chest that seemed important. The stars on its neck blending seamlessly with its hair, yet leaving its head completely dark aside from a few little spots on its face. The only facial feature they could make out where 2 Lazarus green eyes, focused on the new arrivals. On its hand, a ring with a skull on it that had freaked out the Lanterns. On its head a dark crown covered in patches of frost, and its own Aurora Borealis spreading from it. The room had already been partially covered in frost simply from the King’s aura. Power emanated from it, which had caused several members that had been dead and revived before to kneel on reflex, which was frightening even if they managed to get up on their own again.
Martian Manhunter had tried to peek in the Kings mind, hoping to find a way to convince the King to spare Batman, but he had been unsuccessful. As soon as he tried his knees buckled, and he had been pushed out. Ever since the Ghost King had radiated frustration. Now, as Batman entered wearing only his cowl and some spare pants, that frustration seemed to spike dangerously. Was the King upset he had been left to wait for his offer?
"What the fuck is this? I didn’t ask for a striptease, especially from some old Frootloop!”
“Constantine, what’s wrong? What is it saying?”
Batman was worried. He had not expected more anger from the being when presented with the offering. Looking at Constantine, he saw the magician frantically looking through the pages of his books, desperately looking for a translation.
“Hang on, mate. I’m doing my best here! Ehrm… no, that’s not right… Something about mating? Maybe he likes you, Bats. He also said something about “the absence of clothing” so…
Suddenly he is cut off by a strange sound coming from the Ghost King. It makes a strange motion with its body and its giant maw opens, as more of those sounds escape. It reminds Robin of Alfred the Cat when he has a hairball. However, there is more sound in the Watchtower now. The Red Hood is clutching his stomach as he is doubling down in laughter.
“HAHAHAHA!!! WHAT? HOW THE FUCK DID YOU TRANSLATE THAT BADLY? HOLY SHIT!”
The Ghost King stops making the noises, and it’s eyes snap to Red Hood. It moves it’s head closer to him, casually passing it through the barrier Constantine had put up. Constantine’s swears in surprise, but the King seems not to care as it “speaks” to Red Hood:
"Oh, thank the Acients! Someone who understands Ghost Speak! Can you PLEASE help me and translate for us? This trench coat guy is terrible, and somehow twists everything I say in the worst way!"
Red Hood relaxed, looking up at the Ghost King’s giant head.:
“Sure man, no problem. I’m pretty sure he is using like 3 different dictionaries to get this far. I saw him first translate Ghost to Pixie, Pixie to Gnome and Gnome to Demon before telling us in English! So, what’s up?”
Batman was stunned. The Ghost King actually face palmed. What the heck was going on?
"Of course he is. That explains why it sounds like he is putting this through Google Translate 4 times! These guys summoned me to save the Earth, which, totally cool. Happy to help! But a summons makes it official, which means I need to get an offering. I can’t leave without it or I face a mountain of paperwork from some stupid bureaucratic eyeballs for not following proper procedure. But I can always ask something simple and get it over with. No biggie, right? WRONG.”
Red Hood actually grabs a chair to sit on. Not even in a somewhat respectful way, he is sitting on it backwards, casually leaning on it.
“Oh, boy. How badly did they fuck up? Gotta be big since Batman over there is ready to be eaten?”
The King glares at Constantine, who puts up his bravest “time to out-bollock a Eldritch Demon” face. The King is not impressed:
"Man, I asked, and I quote: “I’d like to eat a regular human meal that doesn’t fight back, like that guy would eat!” I wanted it to be clear I didn’t want blood, or corpses or virgins or any of the other horrible things stupid cults try to give me! I just wanted a burger or something! But then Mr. triple dictionary over there somehow turns that into: ‘’I wish to feast on a non-magic, non-meta mortal human that will not resist being consumed, and it must be that one.” I’ll admit I was pointing at one of the non-supers, but that didn’t mean I wanted to eat him! I just wanted to make sure it was normal food, something that doesn’t fight back!”
Red Hood looked confused, asking if the King’s food usually fights back. The King rolls it’s eyes:
"In life, I lived with mad scientist parents who treated lab safety as a suggestion at best and a chore for teens at worst. Put enough samples in the fridge and you get a whole new type of Thanksgiving trauma. Dang, I’m getting even more hungry. I’d love some turkey right now. Could you get them to bring me some food? That way I can have my sacrifice and leave…”
Red Hood stands up. He asks if the King can wait a few more minutes, claiming that after all that frustration he deserved something better. Getting a nod from the Ghost King, the Red Hood suddenly shouted over the platform railing towards the waiting Leaguers:
“FLASH! Get your squad up here, and bring pen & paper! I got a job for y’all!”
Zooming up every member of the Flash family gets a list of things to get and a warning not to tell the Bats what’s on it, or Red Hood will shoot them in the knees. Looking at the lists, they quickly caught on what was going on and promised they wouldn’t tell. This was way too funny! Red Hood does a fake bow to the King, clearly amusing himself.
“Don’t worry, your Hungry-ness! Your sacrifice is being prepared! Anything else we can assist you with?”
The Ghost King seems to tilt its head in amusement. Whatever Hood was doing, it was working, which honestly was the only reason nobody had tackled him to the floor.
"Actually, if you could get that Frootloop to put on a shirt that would be great. He is shivering and honestly, I’m worried he’s going to poke someone’s eye out with a nipple. Why is he shirtless anyway? Please tell me he wasn’t actually trying to seduce me or something, he’s old enough to be my dad! Gross!”
This caused Red Hood to again double over in laughter. Everyone was confused, what could possibly be so funny in this situation? Constantine had frantically tried translating during their conversation, but it had gone too fast for him. He gave up when the King mentioned eyeballs and seduction, accepting he wouldn’t get anywhere like this. Batman however couldn’t resist his need to know everything anymore.
“Hood, report! How are you communicating with the entity?”
Red Hood turns to Batman, walks past him and towards Alfred, grabbing one of the cookies he had brought with him. As he walks back and hands it to the Ghost King, he starts to explain:
“Honestly, not sure. It feels instinctive, like a second mother-tongue. Pretty sure it’s some sort of “dead-guy-language” you learn when you die. Speaking off: Turns out Constantine is a VERY unreliable translator. Spooky here is actually pretty chill! He used you as an example to make sure we knew what he wanted, not to demand you as a sacrifice. He is in fact pretty ticked that you guys tried to feed B to him. Speaking of: Batman? Put a shirt on, for fucks sake. You look like you’re going to freeze your tits off.”
This earned a round of giggles from Green Lantern & Green Arrow. Now that the tension had left the room, other Leaguers also smiled in relief. Besides, it’s always fun to see Batman being the butt of a joke. Sure enough, Batman let out a frustrated sound, that got the rest of the Bats to join in on the fun. They understood that their dad in fact felt rather silly right now, which meant that they had more to gossip about soon. Constantine now was wondering what Hood was up to:
“Mate, I did my best! Sorry for not being fluent in every language in existence. What the hell did you send the Flash to get? The bloke is a scientist and denies magic when it’s right in front of ‘im! What could they possibly get that I couldn’t-”
At that moment, the Flashes zoom out of the Zeta tubes and zoom across the observation deck. After a few moments of red and yellow blurs, the deck is covered with tables filled front to back with food! Picking up a receipt that fell to the floor, Batman realizes this is take-out from all over the world. Seeing a puddle of Lazarus water grow on the floor, he looks up. The Ghost King is actually drooling! Red Hood steps aside and gestures to the feast:
“Welp! There is your sacrifice! One. And I also quote: “regular human meal that doesn’t fight back, like “that guy” would eat!” Well, more of a feast then a meal, but I’m sure a big guy like you can finish it, and you can always take home the rest I guess. Bon Appetit!”
Opening his giant maw, the Ghost King digs in. Well, as much as he can. He actually looks kind of silly eating everything with a tiny fork. Still, judging from the purring sound emanating through the Watchtower it’s to the Kings liking.
"DUDE, THIS IS SO GOOD? I need to know these restaurants! You want a bite for helping me out? You saved me SOOO much annoying paperwork, I was about to bail!”
Picking up a plate of karaage, Red Hood took of his helmet revealing a second mask underneath and dug in as well:
“Don’t mind if I do, this smells fantastic! Oh shit, you should try this stuff, it’s great!”
Red Hood being allowed to partake in the offering so casually caused Constantine to do a double take. He realizes he seriously misjudged this entity. Still, that didn’t explain the horrific stories about him. He would need to do some digging into that, maybe with Hood as a translator. For now he takes a swig of his drink. The world was saved, no one died or lost their Soul and he didn’t make any new enemies he thinks. Plus, Batman felt like an idiot, and that always made the Brit smile.
All in all a good day!
3K notes · View notes