#your writing and as you write your characters based off these real life parasocial relationships you suck these real people into this fake

[sammygender]

some of my most random fucking original characters from half-baked story ideas i have yet to fully develop are the most tragic ones to ever exist. like yeah the people from my current work are pretty fucked up but they don’t inspire as much pain in me as when i think about citydale characters. min truly and genuinely makes me want to cry

[quixtrix]

I am NOT attempting to influence and control your behaviour. what you are doing is theorising what another REAL PERSON has gone through and saying that he has gone through shit because of what he writes his characters into. what your intial reblog has come off to me is parasocial- specifically claiming to know someone based on the kind of content they create. what I was trying to do was advising you to step back from what I perceived as potentially parasocial behaviour.

you want to talk about white supremacy and cults? fine. i guess being a fucking PERSON OF COLOUR IN A RED STATE SURROUNDED BY WHITE PEOPLE DOESNT MEAN I KNOW SHIT. DOESNT MEAN I KNOW ANYTHING, WITNESSED FIRSTHAND THE CULT THAT IS WHITE NATIONALISM AND NEED TO BE EDUCATED BY A STRANGER ON THE INTERNET. just as you do not know adi shankar just because you have watched his shows does not mean you know me, a tumblr user who based on what you know and have seen was defending my favourite show in a fucking ship tournament. pipe the fuck down about my own personal knowledge about cults and white supremacy. I brought that up as an personal example of things that people write about without any firsthand experience in. and don't say that 'you've been affected by cults, therefore obviously you have trauma or actual experience.' if I wanted to talk about the cult of white nationalism, I would specifically mention white supremacy, white nationalism, something like that. I used CULTS, meaning the stereotypical religious cult one would think of when mentioning the term.

I've taken into account what the show presents us, I've analysed and rambled about different points about it multiple times. what I have not done is take into account what the actual showrunner has experienced because HE, AS A PERSON, DOES NOT SEEM TO BE WANTING TO SHOW US ANYTHING ALONG THOSE LINES ANY TIME SOON. art is absolutely about putting in your own experiences, your own emotion, but it is not something that we take as an open call to psychoanalyse the actual real life person.

we know vincent van gogh's specific mental issues through letters exchanged with his brother. what we know about adi shankar is through interviews. has adi shankar in an interview alluded to such a deep and personal trauma such as being groomed by an older man? no. no he has not. he has stated he immigrated to america at a young age, which if anything, should invoke the ideas of the american dream into our minds when consuming his work (and its especially applied to captain laserhawk as a show). this information does not allude in any way shape or form that he was groomed. if he wanted us to consume his art with the knowledge that he personally relates to the victims he writes into his stories, he would mention it somewhere in ANY interview he has ever done.

but he doesn't. because writers, musicians, and artists, are all real people. we are people on the internet who have little to know chance of intimately knowing about this man. we do NOT have a right to theorise and say that this man is a victim when he has not given us any hint that he WANTS us to know that. no, writing it into his shows is not a hint. it is not an invitation for speculation. he is not calling us to speculate about him, a real person. that is my main point.

to prevent parasocial relationships, we must remind ourselves that the specific information that a celebrity gives out to us, whether through ACTUAL ALLUSIONS, confrontation, or hints towards anything, is what we should use to speculate about a person. The tidbit about how shankar had immigrated to america at 15 should lead us to speculate about his life as someone who is an american dreamer. an interview with a celebrity is meant to give us insight to the thoughts that they would like to share. things are left out for a reason because there is a real person behind the idol. we especially forget this in our modern day and age of the internet. please remind yourself of this, no matter how much you dont want to because you're stubborn. how would you like it if someone you didnt know poked and prodded at your own deepest trauma? you alluded to it. surely you would want a total stranger to use your own writing as a way to say that you most definitely are a victim. do you, a person, not command a level of privacy despite allegedly bearing your heart to the world?

if you KNOW within interviews that adi shankar has ever even slightly alluded to being a victim of grooming, show me.

Propaganda:

Mutsuki and Urie: Listen. LISTEN. The communication issues. It's so *chef's kiss*. Urie is more or less canonically in love with Mutsuki after that time he impaled him and instead of getting mad Mutsuki gave him a hug. But he refuses to admit he cares about him even though it's fairly obvious that he's his favorite person. Also Mutsuki is obsessed with their teacher, who after a series of traumatizing experiences he stalks and tries to murder, so that's another rift in their relationship. Urie is so clearly jealous and also enables Mutsuki's unhealthy coping mechanism by just ignoring the fact that there is definitely a problem until it becomes too big to ignore and Mutsuki inadvertently nearly causes an apocalypse. And then they fight and Mutsuki tries to kill Urie. They're both such deeply fucked up people and they have such huge communication issues that they're practically on different planets and they've each tried to seriously hurt each other multiple times and they insult each other (or Urie insults Mutsuki before he falls deeply in love with him) and also Mutsuki is somewhat canonically trans and it's Not Handled Well but also they're an amazingly fucked up shit and I love them

[typh0nas]

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I can’t promise that I’ll get to your request right away, please understand that I’m a person too, and I may have my own obligations that I need to attend to first.

I believe that I have the right to reject requests that I don’t feel comfortable writing for. If you get upset with me or have a problem with this, I’m sorry if this comes off as blunt but that’s not my problem. 

Constructive criticism of my writing is welcome! I’d love to see how I can improve on my writing, however if it’s just straight up talking to me in a disrespectful manner, I don’t care what your reasoning is, I’m blocking you.

"Can I trauma dump?", please dont. It doesn't make me very comfortable ;-;

DISCLAIMER: My writing is based on the streamer’s persona, or the way they project themselves on stream, NOT the person behind the screen. I’m not writing with assumption that I know anything about the streamers’ personal lives. I’m writing with my own understanding of how they act on stream and their personal lore. All of my fics, headcanons, oneshots, scenarios, etc. are all works of fiction and in no way reflect anything in real life. I AM NOT WRITING TO ENCOURAGE A PARASOCIAL RELATIONSHIP!

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EDIT: changed the number of requests i will accept at a given time

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[ranboo5]

Listen we all joke, I definitely joke (a while ago I made a post -- long since deleted bc of this exact thing -- saying smth along the lines of “are you a Boreal fan or are you socially normal,” referencing the fact that a lot of ppl who like the Boreal lads including myself are nd in a way that affects social capacity, and relate to them for that reason), but can we talk about how absolutely fucking disgusting the trend of “I call you out based on your favorite DSMP characters lol :)” has gotten 

People r really out here making lists that fucking try to deeply psychoanalyze utter fucking strangers based on fictional characters they like and when you go in to make like a full psychological breakdown that’s not a Quick Joke anymore that’s you being arrogant and audacious and incredibly, incredibly insensitive. It is not your goddamn place to call people toxic or hypocrites or ABUSERS (all straight up things I have seen!) because they like or relate to a fictional character. You cannot discern someone’s trauma from this, it is in no way your place to assign and attempt to untangle complexes, and they’re also just entirely the fuck off base 99% of the goddamn time 

What makes people think it is okay to do this? In what fucking world, in what fucking paradigm, is it okay to say that kind of shit to a complete stranger in literally any circumstance? Contrary to popular belief, one can like and relate to a character in a lot of different ways, and there’s no way to predict how they do and how they interface with it in relation to their REAL FUCKING LIFE from solely the knowledge of that fictional character, and when you assume there is to the point of writing deeply personal and insensitive psychological profile “callouts” for people? It is not funny. It is not fun. It is not cute. It is awful and presumptive. You are literally just being invasive and cruel and then going “oh it’s all a joke :) it’s all in good fun” like no!! It stopped being in good fun when it stopped being about you!!! It stopped being in good fun when it started being hyperspecific!!!! And by the time people were claiming to specify strangers’ trauma and maladaptive coping mechanisms based on how they relate to a fictional character, we had all long stopped fucking laughing.

You are not a fucking psychologist. You are not a fucking psychic. You are a 14 year old “empath” on TikTok with no comprehension of parasocial relationships and if you treat people like this you are not going to keep your friendships  

[many-gay-magpies]

short (or not so short) little kpop fandom rant below; putting a readmore because i feel kind of weird saying all this stuff on a blog that is pretty much kpop dedicated, who's follower-base is made up of mostly kpop fans, but i also just feel the need to get it out there, so. here we are

(disclaimer: im not using 'you' to direct this post at anybody in particular, if anything it's directed at myself, you just feels more direct)

kind of going off of that post about parasocial relationships i just reblogged but like. ever since watching that one video by a dude im subscribed to on youtube about stan culture and fanfiction and stuff (i think i might have linked it on tumblr at some point? maybe?) my experience in the kpop fandom had gotten... interesting, from a personal standpoint

like im starting to wonder about all this stuff and think about the fact that ALL fanfiction, even the nonsexual stuff, is still crossing a bunch of boundaries in a way? because like youre writing all this stuff about REAL PEOPLE and literally making headcanos for how they would be as boyfriends, how they'd react to certain situations, how they would be in fights for god's sake, and its just-- these are real people. you dont know them. you will probably NEVER know them on a level higher than maybe meeting them through a fanmeet, or if you're lucky running into them on the street or something. and you can't... know how these people you've never met will REACT in situations like the ones you're thinking about, you can't know what they're like off-camera and outside of idol life. and i kind of had a point with this particular section of the rant, but i forgot what it was, so i'm just gonna move on

the thing with me is that like... i think all of this stuff, and yet i still read the occasional y/n fanfic or (god forbid) full group fanfic, often with ships involved. and i justify it to myself by saying i know these aren't the REAL people, they're just characters someone else created in their image; all of this stuff is written based on the images, the characters presented to us, and not the real people underneath (but the problem is a lot of fanfic writers probably dont feel the same way; they think like it's the real people they're writing about and treat it as such). I tell myself I read and enjoy ship fics because I would enjoy the samd dynamic with ANY two people, because the relationship is something i'd admire and long for in real life, it doesn't matter who with. I don't ACTUALLY think these two idols are dating or think they would act like this—its just characters. But it's still just like... where does the boundary lie? I'm thinking all of this stuff, but if i dont act on it, do the thoughts even really matter? Because its what a person's actions say about them that matters, just thinking about something... right?

So as you can see, I'm conflicted.

Now, something else worth noting is that I... don't necessarily think fantasizing about idols, in whatever way that might be, is bad. They're attractive, the images and characters they present often compliment that by being nice, sweet, funny, etc. It feels normal, to me, that you might fantasize about dating them or hugging them or kissing or being friends with them every so often—especially during the pandemic, when people rarely got the chance to actually see other people and (im speaking for myself here but i think its something that can apply to others as well) sometimes ended up filling the void with parasocial relationships instead. the fantasizing isn't the bad part—to me that just feels like a part of being human. its that we're taking these fantasies and putting them out into the world in the form of writing, reactions and fanfictions and the like—we're writing down our fantasies and letting other people read them and fantasize about them in turn.

and to me that feels... weird. personal. kpop idols don't need to know the fantasies you have about them, and no matter how impossible you think it might be, if you post something online, anywhere, there is a chance that they'll see it. and above that even, our fantasies, in our own heads, feel like something that doesn't need to be—or even shouldn't be—shared out loud (artzyy if you're reading this, you can probably figure out why i got so awkward and felt like i'd overshared during our conversation yesterday). i mean, if you're comfortable sharing your mental fantasies with the world, by all means, you do you; im just... not.

a lot of this is why i... actually don't feel uncomfortable writing enhaverse fanfiction (exhibited clearly by the two vampire jungwon fics that are now floating around my blog, the sunoo lily fic in progress in scrivener, and the various other ideas for fics still floating in my brain). because it isnt "real people" we're writing about, or idols' on-camera faces that we ACT like are real people, it's characters these boys and their company have created specifically for their music videos and lore; entirely different, fictional people, just with the same names and faces, which we've basically taken and spun into whatever the fuck the tumblr enhaverse is now (delightfully full of angst, gay longing, softness and a whole lot of fucking projection... you get the idea.)

but its just-- weird, having all these feelings, making all these justifications and having all these morals in place, and yet being part of a fandom that for the most part goes against every one of them. but i haven't left, or really changed my behavior at all, so its... yeah. weird.

[devourer--of--books]

Some time ago (and by “some time” I mean a long ass time, oops) Kate (@pumpkinpaperweight) posted an analysis of gold rush by Taylor Swift tracing parallels to Agatha, which this post is clearly inspired by. 

(Go check that one out after you finish reading this post, it’s really good.)

Ever since, I’ve had an entire tagatha x taylor playlist/unfinished post that I don’t think will ever see the light because I’m too lazy to actually finish it. But now I have some spare time and I noticed that,,,, invisible string wasn’t on it.

And that's cause, well, despite the obvious gold fingerglow motif which is very tagatha … you already read the title of the post. It’s more like my own version of of what I would have had happen post-otk (will my epilogue version ever see the light, I wonder) than anything else, but this is my account, in which I am correct all the time and accept no criticism so,,,,

Green was the color of the grass where I used to read at Centennial Park

I used to think I would meet somebody there

Basically, these first two lines are about how Sophie’s egocentrism isolated her and kept her from making genuine connections with people from very early on, until she becomes friends with Agatha and even after that.

Okay, so have you guys ever seen those tiktoks that are like ‘13-year-old me, in black jeans and sneakers, at the beach, reading a book mYstERioUsLy so that when Harry Styles showed up he’d know I’m dIfFeRenT'?

This is the energy I get here. 

Like, Sophie in the start of book one doing all those ‘good deeds’ so set herself apart in the eyes of the school master hoping that he’d bring her to the school where she would meet *drumroll* The One. 

Most of us have, at some point (I hope, otherwise it was just me and that would be so embarassing), tried and failed to channel that main-character-energy to manifest ourselves into a story much more interesting than whatever is going on in your life at the moment. I feel like at the very core, that’s sort of what Sophie was trying to do? It’s a very juvenile feeling and shows just how little Sophie knew about love overall. Love as it is in fairytale books, as opposed to as it actually is.

She thought herself as above everyone else and thought she was entitled to true, unconditional love, which ended up holding her back and isolating her from everyone in the town, save for Agatha, give or take. 

This mindset is what really keeps her from seeing Tedros (and Agatha, and everyone else) as people, rather than characters in her story, and actually connecting with them on a non-superficial level. 

Teal was the color of your shirt when you were 16 at the yogurt shop

You used to work at to make a little money

I don’t think this part needs much explaining? 

On surface level, Nicola canonically started working at her father’s pub at a very young age to help with family expenses.

If you think about it a little more and contrast it with the previous line, though, it highlights the differences between Sophie and Nicola:

Nic works to help her family, learning responsibility and duty, while Sophie barely ever did anything for her father, both out of vanity (and a superiority complex) and out of spite (which is honestly undeserved all the way up to book 3, when Stefan let Callis die and fucking tried to blame Agatha for returning without Sophie and then guilt-tripped her into going to save her, after which he was dead to me lol). Sophie grew with a princess-like mindset, despite being just slightly better off than Nic, given all the villagers save from Callis and Agatha (due to them being outcasts) seem to have a similar income (with the exception of the beggar which I don’t understand and am probably overthinking about, but honestly, it’s a impossible to leave town and people die on the mill all the time, there's no college or whatever, did none of these assholes offer the beggar a job- I’m getting carried away), while Nicola has to shoulder most of the responsibilities due to her dad being sick.

Also, given the *misogyny* I’d be surprised if Nic didn’t have to do all the housework, as the only girl in her house.  

I doubt that the uniform of the pub was teal and given the book timeline she wouldn’t have been 16 in any instances in which Sophie and her met in Gavaldon, but I digress.

Time

Curious time

Gave me no compasses

Gave me no signs

Were there clues I didn't see?

Also kinda self-explanatory in a way?

On one interpretation, it takes Sophie an awful long time to mature and grow into an okay person. She lashed out after Tedros’ rejection because her desire was, when you get down to it, to be loved, even though she didn't understand what love was or how to go about it. She was already loved both by Agatha and by her father but she couldn't see it because the idea of love (romantic, loud, grand-gesture) was so embedded into her, but the clues to it were there all along.

On another, you could argue that Nicola also did not see this coming at all, specially if you consider canon!Nicola rather than fanon!Nicola (why would you, but okay, ignore my Hunter post, go on, stomp on my feelings). Nicola, whose purpose in TCY was to be the new hort-love-interest no one asked for, ending up with her *gag* love-rival? Unexpected, iconic, never done before (never actually done in canon), amazing, mind-blowin-

Bad was the blood of the song in the cab on your first trip to LA

You ate at my favorite spot for dinner

Bad Blood was a smash hit on Taylor’s career, playing on the radio  non-stop during the 1989 era, arguably her peak in terms of mainstream pop and radio plays.

The Tale of Sophie and Agatha was the equivalent in this context, as it was all the rage in Gavaldon after book 3; Sophie’s persona as the Dean Of Evil is solidified and everyone in The Woods knows who she is and read her tale, including Nicola (who already knew who she was, but now had a another version of her to compare to the version she already knew, which hm, did not favour Sophie either way).

I think it’s kind of fascinating how parasocial relationships work in the context of SGE because like, the storian is there as an omniscient narrator, but it doesn’t write everything. Like, does it just expose what the people in the tale feel and think only if it suits the plot or do the tales look just like the SGE books, in some sort of fourth wall break or is it like an actual children’s fairytale, where you just get told actions and have to sort of assume motivations? How does that affect public opinion? I don’t think most people would be too keen on stanning Sophie after reading The Tale Of Sophie and Agatha (cause damn, Sophie does a lot of questionable shit there) but canonically, they do, despite her being the villain, which is something I have opinions on (do I ever not have opinions on things?).

Like, sure there would be Nevers stanning her, but honestly, if they read the tale, wouldn't they be more likely to stan Hester or even Agatha? Cause Sophie almost got both Evers and Nevers killed, doomed everyone in The Woods for a guy, and was overall a horrible person with no regard for actual Good or Evil as balanced things? Isn’t this why The Coven sided with Agatha, like, I don’t get it- Is it stanning out of fear? Cause that’s the only sort of explanation I have, specially for people in Gavaldon, but that’s something I’ll go deeper into in another time.

Anyway, I wouldn’t be surprised if Nic’s first class at SGE was about The Tale Of Sophie and Agatha, given she was originally placed in Evil, due to Dovey and Sophie’s bet, and Evil’s school curriculum was under Sophie’s control, so if you think those classes were anything other than the Sophie-Show, you are wrong.

Now, on to headcanon territory, wouldn’t it be poetic if during her first lunch Nic sat at that tree in the middle of the clearing where Agatha and Sophie used to sit? Not only for ship reasons, but the tree is right in the center, which could relate to how Nic was supposed to be half/half?

Bold was the waitress on our three-year trip getting lunch down by the Lakes

She said I looked like an American singer

It’s a real shame that I don’t remember most of TCY. (But is it really?)

This is kinda of my own personal interpretation of what the OTK epilogue should have been like (and so, it's kind of a spoiler for my ever unfinished rewrite sksnsksn).

Imagine if, instead of that horrid school wedding (kill me now, please), they actually held the respective funerals for all the people lost in the Camelot power-struggle (I’ll take a school funeral, but don’t come at me with school weddings or I’ll lose my shit).

Tedros and Agatha, poor traumatized children, are on their way back to Camelot to try and get stuff back under control and do royal things. Sophie is pretty much on her own, with the remaining faculty of the school, as well as the new kids (yeah, Hort’s staying dead, boo hoo, I’m not sorry sbfhbsdb). Nicola will be returning home to Gavaldon soon, since the school schedule is already messed up beyond repair and everyone is taking some time off anyway. She was only staying there until christmas originally, so might as well.

Public opinion on the main trio is kinda weird at the moment:

Tagatha suffered a coup, then a while laterTedros killed the brother of his usurper, whom had been more popular than him, and well, they do tell people that Japeth killed Rhian, but it’s not like they have receipts? Like, there’s no way to fact check that. They could very well have killed Rhian, we, as bystanders, wouldn’t know? You can bet rumors like these don’t just go away.

And Sophie?

Well, I think public opinion on Sophie was already fear-based rather than coming from a place of admiration for her acts. People aren’t sure of her alliances anymore, and don’t really know how to behave around her so they mainly avoid her. Now that Dovey and Hort are dead and everyone else is resuming their quests, she’ll be pretty much on her own to deal with the aftermatch, which is not only sad, but also probably not healthy. She considers staying with Agatha, but she doesn’t want to add more scandal to the Camelot situation.

So she decides to go back to Gavaldon. Not permanently tho. Just to visit her father and take some time off to decide who could balance her well enough to be appointed as Dean Of Good. 

She'd choose Agatha, but you know, Agatha is kinda busy. Plus, it'd be good to see her father. Watching most of your parental figures drop like flies really puts things into perspective and maybe (just maybe) there's still something to salvage there.

Not many people know she's at Gavaldon, and that's on purpose. For once, Sophie just wants to be left the fuck alone, so she just tries to lay low and not bring unnecessary attention to heself. It's so unlike her to do so that when she walks in to have lunch at Nicola's pub, no one but Nicola even recognizes her.

And if Nicola keeps her company and accompany her on walks, well, it’s no one’s business. Bonding time? Bonding time.

Time

Mystical time

Cutting me open, then healing me fine

Were there clues I didn't see?

You know what these kids need after this Camelot shitstorm? Therapy, that’s what.

There’s no therapy in The Woods, so friendship will simply have to do. Please sir, let these kids heal.

Nicola was dragged to SGE while her father was sick and knew no one there personally, then got dragged again, now into a power struggle where she almost died multiple times, dated a guy, broke up with a guy and I can’t even remember what else but that sounds like a stressful time considering how close together the events from TCY are compared to TSY. What does she want to do now? Will she become a knight? Will she remain in Gavaldon? Does she have to finish school? How have Hunter and her dad been? Whatever went down with her brothers? Why was she important in the first place? Lots to reflect and self-search.

And Sophie. Oh Sophie.

Sophie fell once again for a ‘get-love-’quick’ scheme, not once, but twice! That is not something easy to look in the face and forgive yourself for.

With Rhian, it backfired by hurting everyone she loved, and after the shit Rafal pulled on her, she should have known better. But can you blame her? It’s not like the Rafal thing left her unscratched: you try being in an abusive relationship with a predator, see if you don’t get some trauma. And instead of doing the hard thing and keeping up the work she had been doing on herself she threw her progress out the window the moment Rhian said what she wanted to hear!

After that went belly-up, she at least managed to help her friends, but then later that backfired and she got brain-washed (are we gonna talk about this? disturbing much?). Then, she got fragile enough for her to attempt to find purpose in her life within Hort’s feelings for her, even if she didn’t actually reciprocate those feelings, simply because she was sure of them and they were familiar.

And later, even Hort was taken away from her. 

(Probably for the best, given their attachment had been… precarious, to say the least.)

Therapy, I’m telling you.

A string that pulled me

Out of all the wrong arms right into that dive bar

Something wrapped all of my past mistakes in barbed wire

Chains around my demons

Wool to brave the seasons

One single thread of gold tied me to you

These two would be so good for one another.

I think that being alone when you’re going through something is literally the worst you can do, but when you have someone who just…. gets it, you know? They were there too. They understand. It forms a connection.

After OTK, both of them (Sophie mostly) have enough on their plates for them to go down a dark path to a horrible place. But they don’t. Cause they are here for each other and have their support system to help them.

Does that translate into late nights drinking together after the pub shuts down? Maybe.  Keeping tabs on each other to make sure they’re sleeping and eating right? Yes. Keeping secrets and confessions? You got it.

And then my friends, begins the pining.

Cause, you know, they’re just gals being pals, gals being gay- wait what.

Nicola probably comes to terms with it first, but thinks Sophie is not interested in her like that (she also suspects that Sophie only sees her as Agatha’s stand-in and will drop her eventually once Agatha is no longer in such high demand.) Sophie is, in classic Sophie-fashion, neck-deep in denial, she’s not a lesbian right? she’s boy crazy, she’s not a lesbian-

Except she never felt like this with any of those boys. The only comparison she has is what she feels for Agatha, this feeling of being heard and seen and understood, but-

But Sophie doesn’t want to kiss Agatha.

And in retrospect, she never wanted to kiss anyone like this either.  Tedros who, Rafal who, Rhian who, Hort who, these bitches could never.

Eventually they attend the official tagatha wedding, HELD AT THE CASTLE, as each other’s plus-ones, and well, maybe consider checking my eventual OTK-epilogue for more on this, once it eventually comes out.

Cold was the steel of my axe to grind for the boys who broke my heart

Now I send their babies presents

Very self-explanatory, Tedros may be Sophie’s favorite ex, but he’s still an ex and they will be killing each other if left unchecked for two long unsupervised.

Nicphie as the tagatha baby godparents. Please, YES.

I’m not gonna go into detail because children make me uncomfortable,  I wish this was a joke, haha, but yes, Sophie and Nic pic the presents together and they attend the baby shower together. Are they dating, are they just married but don’t know it yet? I wonder. They're just together and no one really knows what's going on.

Gold was the color of the leaves when I showed you around Centennial Park

Hell was the journey but it brought me heaven

You know what’s funny? I didn’t tell you anything between the wedding and the baby shower. Remember how there was an opening for Dean of Good?

Yeah, too late to send in your resumes, position is already filled.

Sophie shows Nic the ropes of being Dean, or at least that’s how she’ll present it, but they’re still sort of figuring it out together. And that's okay.

They spend summers traveling around, christmas in Gavaldon, new years in Camelot and all is well. Their fingerglow colors now match. But it’s, unfortunately not gold.

Time

Wondrous time

Gave me the blues and then purple pink skies

And it's cool

Baby, with me

Yeah, it’s fucking purple.

I can’t remember if Nic has a canon fingerglow color, but I don’t really care much for canon, do I? I just really like the imagery of it, so it’s blue and pink mixed together. Because, you know I’m a symbolic bitch.

And isn't it just so pretty to think

All along there was some

Invisible string

Tying you to me?

Anyway, I am correct, this is the post.

[librarycards]

Do you have any thoughts on the article called ''A decade of sore winners''?

I mean, i certainly agree with some of the author’s leading points: that this country fetishizes the underdog; that the scrappy, bootstraps-pulled character is still the hero of choice (there’s that essay about star wars and the us presenting itself as rebellious despite being global hegemon etc.

but the turn this piece takes toward fandom apologia....that’s an awful lot of well-phrased words to defend what amounts to a “uwu let people enjoy things don’t be an anti” type of argument. all media is consumed; digested. my consumptive decisions alone don’t define who I am, but (and I’m operating from a pov of ontological instability) I am the sum total of “my” collective inter/intra-actions with that which is deemed not-me. that is, I am what i do/feel/engage in against or in response to “other” forces. these forces, obviously, include books, tv, movies, whatever else. it also includes all kinds of other things, but parasocial relationships play a huge role.

i know how heavily fandom impacts “real life.” i’m autistic. mostly-fictional narratives were a key way i learned about human interaction, for better and for worse. it gave me a model off of which to study & learn in-your-shoes empathy, even if my affective empathy kinda sucks! and indeed, this impact extended to sex (and other, like, moralized-on stuff). this....is why everyone agrees that having only cishet white people written by cishet white people on tv is not a good thing. 

on a very base level, this piece misconstrues the purpose of media critique, when that which is being critiqued is the ethical underpinnings of a given work. the goal isn’t “dominance” under the guise of scrappiness, just like your average fanfic writer, or other small creator, isn’t looking for absolute dominance. that sure as hell wasn’t on my mind when i was writing fic/otherwise active in fandom - what most of us were doing was looking for a place to share what we did with people who got it. the danger of that kind of space is that norms that are by turns unrealistic and downright harmful can get normalized, and within an insulated space, stay that way –– meaning that critique both from within and without are absolutely crucial. as long as we’re going to live and learn real shit in fiction-based spaces, we’re going to have to act like real people capable of real harm and real consequences.

basically if you’re looking for someone to say “let people enjoy things!”, you’ve come to the wrong place, i live and learn in a space of relentless critique, both of self and other.

[afriendtokilltime]

Okay, fine. Let’s talk about parasocial relationships.

The term “parasocial” has been making the rounds as a very very smart sounding thing to say. It not only establishes that you know an unusual and complex word, but also that you are too smart to fall for marketing tactics, and that you are much too cool to show enthusiasm for anything!

So, what’s a parasocial relationship? It’s a one-sided relationship with a celebrity or fictional character--the entire relationship takes place in your head. You’re reading this on tumblr, which means you have lots of parasocial relationships. You’re very parasocially popular! Maybe you even have one with me. (Probably not, I stopped posting for a long time, so we probably don’t parasocially know one another at all.)

I first encountered this term being used as an inherently bad thing, something to avoid, as though the term referred to the negative version of itself. What I saw was not people explaining why it can be harmful, but speaking as if we all know it is (the way you’d use “alcoholism”).

I see people carefully watching themselves to make sure they aren’t engaging in a “parasocial relationship,” or referring to a behavior they don’t like as “borderline parasocial relationship behavior.” But, there is no such thing as “relationship behavior” other than closing the psychological distance between yourself and another person. “Parasocial relationship behavior” is doing this, but it’s one-sided. You get closer, and they do not. That’s it. That’s the only thing. Does that mean building a shrine to Kristen Stewart? Does it mean crying with joy at Hbomberguy’s Mermaids/Donkey Kong stream? Does it mean writing a 100k fanfiction about Hermione Granger, Vampire Slayer? Does it mean buying a David Bowie CD? Does it mean begging the show writers to finally make that queerbaity relationship canon? Does it mean killing the president? You decide! 

Becoming psychologically closer to people and characters is not inherently unhealthy, whether they know who you are or not. How you treat them and respond to that closeness, and how they choose to cultivate closeness, can of course be unhealthy...but so can reciprocal relationships.

What’s weird to me is that we generally seem to be aware that there are bad and good (healthy and unhealthy) relationships. I have a good relationship with @randomshoes because we support each other, are interested in each others’ success, spend quality time together, and communicate well. If I was to stalk her or kill a president for her, or if she was to abuse my trust and take all my money while falsely assuring me she loved me, our relationship would be somewhat less healthy. 

So, what’s so bad about parasocial relationships?

They don’t actually care about you and they are taking your money.

If a marketing team/a celebrity uses these relationships to prey on vulnerable people, that might be an abusive relationship...in the other direction. If I manipulate a friend I know out of her money, I’m the bad guy, right? But if I’m famous, and she’s 16, and I knowingly manipulate her out of her money, then she’s the bad guy, because teenage girls are dumb and they should feel bad for ever liking anything, forming identities, feeling attraction, or basically being uncool and childish in any way.

It is definitely a good idea to remember that transactions are a part of how art is usually consumed, and not to express your affection or deep identification with an art/artist by spending lots of money on tee shirts that depict them. However, even this type of interaction can be encouraged in a healthy, positive way.  Patreon seems to really make people mad, but it’s not the worst system for artists who Live in A Society and don’t happen to have any lembas laying around. “I’ll pretend to love you so you can make me a millionaire” seems kinda gross but “I appreciate that your support helps me continue making the art you love” kinda sorta does not.

Some people go too far and commit heinous crimes because they expect their parasocial affections to be reciprocated.

Those crimes would be heinous even in an already reciprocal relationship. (I  already mentioned this, but if I committed terrorism for my very real girlfriend who knows exactly who I am, that would probably make me no better or worse than Hinkley.)

You’re an isolated loser and need real friends.

Okay. Anybody pouring all their energy into one relationship is probably not doing life correctly, regardless of how parasocial that relationship is. But this is a point on which I simply do not agree. People engage in these behaviors regardless of how wide their friend circle is. If not with celebrities, then with fictional characters, or even historical or political figures (think more “little father” than “senator” though what you do with that Bernie Sanders picture in your room is between you and God). Oh speaking of God, relationships with religious figures might arguably have some similarities and speak to the same human tendency, but there is of course the difference that Justin Bieber doesn’t know who TF you are, but God does.

Uh, sorry, you didn’t address my point. Forming parasocial relationships stops you developing real relationships.

I actually think it encourages reciprocal socialization. I didn’t have many friends growing up. When I met two other kids who were obsessed with Harry Potter, we bonded over that, making up our own characters (next generation type of BS...still better than the book 7 epilogue), and this formed the basis of a friendship that lasted basically my entire pubescence. These parasocial relationships are generally part of a broader interest, and interests and hobbies help you meet people, break the ice, and uhm...form real relationships.

It’s not just interests, though. I was hardcore into dinosaurs as a kid. Literally every child likes dinosaurs, but that didn’t help me form any new friendships. The other reason I think parasocial relationships lead to better real relationships is...practice. You are engaging in social behaviors, whether or not you’re any good at them, whether or not you succeed. This is what’s required to learn any new skill, but it’s generally discouraged.

You don’t just learn about how to socialize, you also learn about yourself. You develop a sense of identity and learn what you like and dislike by associating yourself with favorite characters.

Children and teens often imitate their behaviors, and though that can be a bit annoying (why yes I do have the Spanish Inquisition sketch memorized but thanks for repeating it to make sure I got it), it also helps them figure out what kind of people they want to be (maybe you want to be funny, so you over time learn that what made Monty Python so funny was surprise, surprise and fear, and you develop comedic timing). Knowing what kind of person you want to be is important.

Right, but it’s selfish. You keep calling it “one sided” which it literally is. There’s no checks on your behavior.

Right. I think that’s good, though? I think it’s good for people to sometimes do selfish things. I think it’s good to cultivate parasocial relationships because they are a way to self-soothe, and get your own needs met, without burdening others. We are social creatures, and we absolutely need relationships, but nobody owes you a relationship. Nobody owes you affection or love. Having a way to cultivate that for yourself is actually incredibly valuable.

It’s worth commenting here that I think my strongest parasocial relationships are probably with characters I’ve made up myself. They are “a part of me” in that they are always there in my life, but unlike some writers, I do not base characters on myself or see them as reflecting specific parts of me. I relate to them in the same way I relate to Harry Potter, except that I was the one who made them up initially, and books I write about them can be published and I can make money off them. (On some theoretical plane of existence.) It’s pretty clear that I am the one doing all the work on both sides of this particular parasocial relationship, but it doesn’t feel super different to me than the fact I very intensely relate to certain characters not made up by me. I don’t conceive myself dating one of them, like I don’t have a Dorothy L. Sayers thing going on, but I don’t really think it would be wrong if I did.

What do you mean not being a burden on others? What about toxic fans putting pressure on creators?

Yeah...that’ll be in the “unhealthy relationship” category. But, okay, I guess where I am ending up here is I do think it’s good to recognize parasocial relationships exist and talk about them, because it reminds you that even if a relationship is not reciprocal, you do have responsibilities. If the other person is real, that means they are only human, and even if you have no choice but to stan, you should give them some breathing space. The Shinji Ikari ContraPoints in my head can be my super close friend, but if I expect the real Natalie Wynn to give me any more energy than she already does to her entire audience by making the awesome videos I enjoy so much, I’d be really rude, demanding, and honestly not worthy of her friendship if it was “real.”

Parasocial relationships are relationships which means, just like with reciprocal ones, you have to not be a dick. You have to respect the other person and recognize they are a human being separate from you. Even with characters, Harry Potter can’t be hurt by anything weird and demanding you do, but Rowling could, and so could other HP fans, so respect is still important. If it’s not already clear, I strongly disagree with people who suggest fanfiction is disrespectful, so.

If you understand that your relationship is abstracted, and that you do not deserve any kind of reward for all the energy and love that you pour into it...then enjoy your parasocial relationship, because it is absolutely normative, human, and can bring great joy and meaning into your life. In fact, almost all of what I just said applies to reciprocal relationships, too.

[bluehairmisfit]

Okay so I've looked at this. Talked this out. Looked up what a parasocial relationship is. And I have some thoughts.

Disclaimer: I don't watch DSMP streams, I know a little bit of it (including wtf heat waves even means) thanks to the people in my circles but I don't give two shits about it. I also don't exactly give two shits about RPF. I'm pretty neutral on all of what these people are talking about.

With that in mind, I have some thoughts.

If taking people's lived experiences away from them and fictionalizing them to any degree is dehumanization, we, as the human race, have an issue, because we do it all the time. One major thing covered in college philosophy and communications, both (introduction level) is that our knowledge of the world, ourselves, and those around us are all based in perception. We take in cues and filter them, through some weird process, and figure out what everything is. We never know someone's lived experience, and if my friend is, say, a closeted bisexual, and they're not out to me, and I say, "oh, [friend] is straight", am I taking away their lived experience as a bisexual person? Does it only matter if I know? What if I lie to keep them closeted?

Anxious people, people with trauma, etc., come up with fictionalized events all the time. A mere month ago a friend of mine ranted about someone in their life not replying well to their rants. I had just done the same a few days ago and assumed they were talking about me, only to find out they weren't. Is that still dehumanization?

What about the common writing advice, to watch how people act in malls and stores, and use those behaviors, "characters", etc., to write stories? You are taking real people you barely know, have never met, and have only seen through your filter and their masks, and then you're writing fictionalized versions of their lives.

People need to stay healthy about it and make sure they're not becoming obsessive or playing God (oh, and by the way, your social relationships with higher powers are also defined as parasocial). I agree people need to be healthy about it. But seeing as any well-written, realistic fiction is based on actual humans, whether as individuals or amalgamations, technically all fiction, and a lot of nonfiction is some form of real-person fiction.

When people write about historical figures in biographies, they learn about them in detail and often use some combination of their knowledge and experience to fill in the blanks. One good example, while I do not trust it as an accurate account of the person covered, is Charles Cross's biography of Kurt Cobain; much of it was based off of secondhand knowledge of Kurt and Kurt's life events, and I've read and watched interviews in which people who weren't contacted by Cross, but were friends of Kurt's say the events weren't true or wouldn't have fit with what they knew of their friend.

Long story short, I definitely agree that it can be unhealthy, but I reblogged this initially so I could read it later with more focus and a critical mind and now I'd like to know, where are the lines? Is it only not okay to fictionalize real people if you really like or dislike the person, or?

Genuinely, I'm asking, where are the lines.

hey

[curious-minx]

Entering into a new dawn of Corporatist Neoliberalism, all while leaving behind a rising Fascist Empire. A solid Bob’s Burgers and a surprisingly decent Simpsons is your reward.

“Fast Time Capsules at Wagstaff School”  once again finds the show operating in the territory it does best: A Poignant twee commentary with the junior Belchers and a nearly pointless sideplot with the adult Belchers that actually sports a satisfying conclusion. The ingredients of a quality kids subplot requires a touch of Tina having the conflict of wielding too much power passed down to her by Mr. Frond whose mere appearance reliably bumps an episode up a notch. This episode not only also weaves the usual Tammy and Jocelyn jealousy games with Tina but also splashes two other of Tina’s peers into the mix: Jim Gaffigan’s Kelsey Grammar indebted Henry Haber and girl friend Sasmina voiced by National Treasure Aparna Nancherla. The episode focuses primarily on Tina’s gatekeeping of the contents of the Wagstaff time capsule. A particularly timely concept for a year where history is a constant 24/7 newsfeed of dramatic historical importance. 

I fold up my muted pink streaked swimming trunks and put them into my personal time capsule. No way will I ever be braving a public beach or swimming hole. The act of exposing any amount of flesh during a pandemic is unthinkable, but in another 50 years I am sure there will be a lot more living to do. The episode goes even further in poignancy with layering a coinciding  Louise conflict over a pair of Boyz4Now lands a lot differently in these Quarantined Times. Never have I related to Louise and her desire to go see a cute pop group sing in an intimate live setting, singing such hits like “Your Heart Fell On The Floor, Let Me Get It For You,” a level of cuteness not even Belle and Sebastian or The Magnetic Fields could probably come up with. The main plot moves along with a clean efficiency of storytelling bringing Louise and Tina conspiring together using their combined sister brain to retrieve the tickets, but due to further conflicting interests. The episode concludes with the characters taking their personal losses and rolling with the punches, which is another central sweet spot. Earlier on the series I felt like the Belcher family were constantly losing and being put down upon by the world around them. The pendulum of justice remains in flux giving the Belchers and friends minor victories, but the last image of this episode really gets to me.  The sight of group of kids  in a parking lot bonding by singing the hit “Someday We’ll Spoon” as it plays off in the distance. Another song title that hits so much harder than it ever could have without the rampaging socially distanced disease.

“If you see a cop, whistle!” - Teddie, and me whenever I see a cop because I always make sure to harass and wolf whistle at cops like they were a piece of construction worker street meat. 

One of my new favorite Bobspressions. 

The B plot with Bob and Linda is essentially that Bob can whistle, but Linda cannot, although Linda can roll her R’s. This teasing and taunting domestic squabble is cushioned by the looming gentle omnipresence of Teddie. Teddie, Bob and Linda are a solid trio and play off each other as characters really well and the repartee between the characters feels a lot looser than it has in past episodes of this season. The subplot culminates in Teddie making one of my favorite comedic moves being dependent on his parasocial relationship with Bob and Linda’s marriage. Teddie is the friend that believes in the love of his friends’ marriage more so than his own friends do and it’s always pretty touching to see Teddie play that card. The adults largely stay completely static inside a one-shot of the restaurant with Bob in the kitchen window, but there is a discernible rise and fall conflict between Bob and Linda that culminates with simple silly sweetness. Once again the adults are left fuddling around in their comfortable boxes and squares they have created for themselves, while the children are foisted out in the world having to deal with Future. 

One other particularly timely one-off joke that the writers would have no way of knowing how timely and off-putting it would be is when Eugene makes a reference to Sean Connery. Gene compares Linda to the late actor responding to Linda on her R syllable rolling flexing. I am sure the writer of the episode felt some kind of something with this episode airing a week after the man died. 

This episode is a Boyz4.5(4)Now. 

///

Thankfully this next episode of the Simpsons did not trot out Mr. James Bont. Episode 5 of Season 32 “The Seven Beer Itch” is a rebound episode from the last three exhausting conceptual excursions. I failed to do a write up on the Season 32 premiere episode, “Undercover Burns,” which I give a Pass (A Pass btw means that you won’t be harmed passing this show through your system, whereas Skip speaks for itself). Both the season opener and this fifth episode are just Simpsons episodes based in and around Springfield. No historical role-play or contrived literary surrogate puppet shows. This episode initially begins filling the viewer with “Simpsons on Holiday” dread opening the episode with The Groundskeeper Willie serving as the episode’s narrator. What’s completely confounding is that Willie has no bearing on the plot of this episode in any way whatsoever other than the fact that both he and UK Treasure Olivia Coleman are both from across the Pond. 

The Simpsons have become one of the most musical series on television, and frankly it  saps away the energy of the when songs pile on top of one another. I know I  should be more wickedly delighted by having The Gosh Dang Favourite singing a pub song to Homer at Moe’s Tavern, but instead these songs make me go dead inside. Especially when Dan Castellaneta has to be a total diva belching out melodies with honey voiced Barney. Maybe if the songs were relegated to once a season or specifically to the ending credit sequence a la Bob’s Burgers that would be one thing, but a song  (or three! Or five!) per episode is simply too busy. Then again “busy” describes everything about the Simpsons in 2020. The show continues to astound me visually with Springfields starry purple skies, brief glimpses of London clock towers served up alongside Marge and kids trip to Martha’s Vineyard. We even take a pit stop in California with Olivia Coleman’s Lily doing a forced, weirdly gentle riff with Leonard DiCaprio (who goes uncredited, making matters even stranger). Overall, modern Simpsons is the nicest looking adult animated sitcom around until Tuca and Bertie comes back on air. That being the said the plots of each episode feel like they are being pulled out of a magic foam wizard’s hat stuffed to the brim with Simpsons conceits. This week the writer’s pull Homer Seduction from out of the hat.

The Homer seduction plot can be traced back as early as Season 3 with the episode “Colonel Homer.” This episode more or less grafts its main plot swapping out a Pretty Country Singer with a Charming British Lady. The songs in “Colonel Homer” were actively related to the plot with country star Lurleen Lumpkins becoming infatuated with Homer Simpson, because he’s, he’s a simple and um sweet man. Homer has fidelity! 32 plus years on the air and Homer still remains the kind of man that will still choose his wife over whatever hot piece of Academy Award Winning voiced action comes his way. 

I will end this review with this image of Homer giving us viewers come hither and fuck me eyes. Imagine an artist sitting down and drawing Homer Simpson giving you this coquettish glance and try not feeling sick with existential dread:

This episode deserves a Pass.

///

Addendum:

A response to Digital Spy and hand wringing queerness out of a cartoon child 

The article in question is available here. 

The journalist of this article insistence that Lisa be a LGTBQ+ icon is understandable, but taking umbrage with Yeardely Smith’ for saying that she views Lisa as a child is queasy and infuriating. Smith isn’t a Karen trying to rob Lisa of her Queer freedom. Lisa’s queerness is innate and subtly woven into the character and explicitly spelled out in future glimpses of the character. I really shutter to think what the Simpsons mostly white and male writers room would concoct for a “queering” of Lisa. Dissecting and analyzing a cartoon child’s sexuality is all fun and games, but the world is also dying and full of real life children, not cartoon characters, in pain far more worthy of our concern. I would much rather there be support for Queer artist making their own adult animated sitcom and let Lisa Simpson just be a little girl that loves as Yeardely Smith calls “girly things.” Interpret this literally. Lisa is a cartoon girl living in a cartoon world and she’ll probably grow up to be a nonbinary polyamorous Super Computer or Sax Master General.

If you haven't already I strongly recommend readers check out Smith’s appearance on the currently defunct podcast Harmontown. In the episode “I Was A Simpson” she comes across as charming and thoughtful and worth a listen. She’s not someone that strikes me as a hateful advocate of queer erasure. She strikes me as a cagey performer not wanting to nail down too many concrete details about her character. Ultimately the writers and Smith know Lisa is a queer character,  but unless the show is willing to hire a LGBTQ+ writer to help create a Queer Coming of Age centric coming of age episode I am content with having her identity be nudged and winked at in glimpses of the future and left at that. Good grief. 

[alienheartattack]

2, 8, 10, 13, 31, 34, please (tho I know that's a lot, lol, sorry)

Oh no, an excuse to talk about myself. Well, anon, if you insist. (Thank you for giving me an excuse to ramble about myself.)

2. if you could change anything about yourself, what would it be?

I wish I was less lazy and more disciplined. The fact that I get anything done is a fucking miracle. (Having depression and the crushing demands of late capitalism certainly don't help, but I could also be doing more for myself.)

8. what color do you think goes best with your personality?

A therapist once told me that red was my "power color" so I'm gonna go with that. I'm an Aries and I've got a ton of Mars/other fire elements in my various horoscopes, plus I've got kind of a fiery personality. Maybe a darker red, like a wine color, because I am also very into lounging and not doing shit.

10. what do you wish you hated, but actually like?

THIS FUCKING MANGA. (J/k. Sort of. I don't know anymore.)

You know what I actually wish I hated? Dairy products. I'm moderately lactose intolerant and I cannot quit cheese, and I will keep eating it and getting sick because dairy is delicious and I am weak. (I've managed to quit milk completely, if only because it makes me violently ill. I can tolerate cheese to an extent.)

13. talk about an au or story you came up with

I'm currently writing a novel, but I want to talk about the novel I came up with while writing the novel. So the romantic lead in my current WIP is based on a specific actor, which led me to think about how absolutely fucking mortified I'd be if my book ever got published and got big enough that I'd have any reason to meet this guy. So that led me to the idea of, what happens when an actor meets his biggest fan and she absolutely does not want to meet him?

I'm still writing down ideas and getting to know the characters, but so far it involves Shay, a woman who's grieving the loss of her mother after a long battle with cancer and the estrangement of her siblings due to hurt feelings about their mom's will. (Their father passed when they were all young.) Shay decides to get involved in her town's drama festival that summer to give her something to do and to try to get her back in the swing of socializing again, since she spent the past few years taking care of her mother during her illness.

Shay is excited to take a step into a new life until she finds out that the drama festival's big get this year is Nicholas Byrd, a character actor who's extremely talented and has had a steady career, but has never really had his big breakthrough. Shay just happens to be one of his biggest fans; she runs his fansite along with one other friend. In fact, her only friends are the people she met online through fandom, and they all help work on this site and its associated social media. She decided years ago that she was not going to try to meet Nick because even though she's infatuated with him, she's terrified of making a fool of herself in front of him and she doesn't want to find out that he's an asshole in real life. She recognizes that his work imprinted on her in a stressful and vulnerable time in her life and tries to indulge her obsession in a healthy way, but her work with the drama festival, her growing friendship with Nick, and the tension it's causing among her fandom friend group is turning her life upside down.

It's a romance so they're going to fall in love, obvs. Nick is going through an existential crisis because he feels torn between his love of acting and his desire for recognition for his work, because he busts his ass and is genuinely talented, but ends up getting killed off in half the roles he takes or is overshadowed by bigger names. He took this drama festival gig because it seemed like something simple and easy to get him back to his love of the craft of acting, but the longer he stays, the more he finds himself making excuses to hang around Shay. (There's also a subplot about how he's a huge animal lover and thinks her dog is the cutest thing in the world.)

I'm excited to work on this story because I really want to dig into the idea of parasocial relationships, healthy and unhealthy expressions of fandom, and how we form connections with others. Shay's closest friend turns out to be a toxic fan who gets upset and possessive as she gets closer to Nick, and Nick has had his own run-ins with this fan in the past. I'm also excited to dig into Shay's feelings of isolation and grief and trying to reemerge into the world, which I'm only now realizing is a parallel for the end of the pandemic.

I'm like 70% done the massive first draft of my novel so hopefully I'll get to write this story sometime next year!

31. how easy is it for you to be honest?

Pretty easy! If anything, I overshare or tell the full truth instead of doing the tactful white lie thing. (I have since gotten better at that; sometimes it is just better socially to be nice rather than brutally honest.)

34. what food do you binge on when you’re lazy?

I am blessed to live in a neighborhood with a large Mexican population and amazing food. I will shove nachos into my face at the drop of a hat, though lately I've been crushing quesabirria and consomme from the taqueria around the corner (see above re: me being weak for cheese).

If you’d like to ask me more questions, here’s the post!

[iwritesometimes]

i'm glad you found it useful! RPF as a concept used to weird me out too, once upon a time, because from the outside, it does seem kind of presumptive and intrusive to be writing about Real People out there in the world. in the famous words of Tess Ocean (played by Julia Roberts) before cosplaying as Julia Roberts, a real person, in the 2004 heist film Ocean's 12, "It's too personal!!" and then, mostly as a joke, i wrote some RPF myself, and realized what RPF fans have known for years: you aren't actually writing about the people you're writing about. you're writing characters you and your friends and the rest of the fandom have constructed from media appearances, Wikipedia articles, films or TV shows, tabloid blurbs, and snippets of video from a thousand fans' cell phones at concerts or red carpet events. the character you're writing not only bears little resemblance to the actual Real Person they're based on, but also that Real Person's real life is not impacted in any way by your having written it, posted it on AO3, and gotten fifty excited comments from friends and strangers on it.

but that's a point i want to circle back on: as you point out, there certainly ARE ways for fans to make RPF - or indeed any fannish endeavor - into something more intrusive and potentially harmful, and that is by crossing parasocial boundaries on social media to essentially force a celebrity to engage with fanwork. fans tweeting x-rated headcanons @ celebs on Twitter, interviewers snatching some racy snippets of fic off Wattpad and reading them out to celebs in interviews, bringing erotic artwork to a meet-and-greet for a celebrity to sign - these are all behaviors on the part of fans and the media (sometimes with the enablement of publicists and event organizers) that can make an artist feel unsafe or harassed or even just kinda weirded out. and it's this kind of behavior that leads to stuff like the alleged fallout of Larry Stylinson shipping, where Harry and Louis purportedly couldn't even be friends anymore. (was that actually true? we can't know that, because we can't know the Real Harry and Real Louis, and we never did.)

i don't argue that THAT behavior is not damaging and coercive and wrong, but I DO argue that it has as much to do with writing/drawing/headcanoning RPF as vehicular manslaughter does with getting your driver's license. it's all about respecting boundaries and being kind, and understanding the fundamental truth that artists and celebrities are not part of their own fandoms. they aren't your friends or people you actually know. you might care a lot about them, but they do not know you, and will not ever be friends with you. and that's okay! that's the societal role they fill. but i think a lot of especially younger folks in fandom can mistake that parasocial relationship built by social media presence and the illusion of accessibility for actual camaraderie: you're not ashamed of your fanwork! you're proud of it! you'd want all your friends to see it, and so why shouldn't the actor/singer get to see it too? well, because they're not in their own fandoms and never agreed to view that fanwork. think of it like the button you have to hit on AO3 to agree that you're 18 and want to see the porn. Jensen Ackles never pushed that button for an interaction with a fan at a meet-and-greet. they never consented to partake in the fanwork, so they're being made to see something they don't want to, in a situation in which they may have limited recourse to say "no."

so i absolutely agree that exposing celebs to fanwork without their consent is wrong! i would even go further and say that ASKING a celeb for their consent to see fanwork is wrong, or at the very least it is wrong for me, because, again, they're not in that fandom. it'd be like asking a stranger in another fandom who you've never interacted with before if they want to see your k-pop porn. maybe they wouldn't mind it, but i would rather let them seek out the fanwork they want to engage with on their own terms. there used to be a #jokes disclaimer that we'd put on RPF: "If you found this by googling yourself, TURN BACK NOW!" it was an acknowledgment that a celeb (famously Pete Wentz of Fall Out Boy) might have innocently stumbled across porn written about them while just checking to see if there was any bad press about them that day. but the disclaimer was there also as a tacit "And if you choose not to turn back, you accept the consequences" statement. if a celeb googled themself, found porn, and chose to keep reading, well. that was on them! they saw the warning and proceeded, just like you have to do on AO3. but that still wouldn't give me the right to email Pete Wentz my 50k-word E-rated coffeeshop AU about his and Patrick Stump's epic gay romance.

are you saying it’s normal to ship real actual people and not just characters?

idk, bud, what is “normal”? is it “normal” to write about the life and times of Antony and Cleopatra, as Willy “The Bard” Shakespeare did? how about making a critically-acclaimed biopic about a real woman who really walked this earth, speculating about the sex lives of actual humans, like 2018’s Colette (or indeed 1991’s Becoming Colette)? is that “normal”? or what if you write a screenplay about the real Jane Austen and her doomed love life (Becoming Jane, 2007)? or about Thomas Jefferson’s “sexual combustibility” (1776, 1972)? ooo, on the topic of the Founding Fathers, is Lin Manuel Miranda “normal” for writing raps about Alexander Hamilton boning down on another man’s wife (Hamilton, 2015)? or, if you’re more sympathetic to the other side of that conflict, where do you think The Crown (2016) falls on the scale of “normal”?

really, who among us is “normal”? how do we define “normal” in a media landscape absolutely bursting with the authorized, unauthorized, uncouth, and unabridged imagined lives of real people, living or dead? for that matter, how do you define “real” people? if you’re writing about a public figure whose entire persona is curated for you through tabloid magazines and film directors and editors and makeup artists and graphic designers and publicists, how “real” can this figure be said to be to you? if you’re writing about the completely made-up life of a movie star reimagined as a college student in your hometown falling in love with his costar who through a twist of fate has become his roommate, is this still a “real” person you are writing about? is this a “normal” pastime? is writing anything fictional, fantastic, or completely fabricated based on a sliver of the actual world a “normal” thing to do?

idk! but I do know that it’s fun! and that it mitigates the toil and drudgery of our brutish and short human lives to imagine our favorite hot celebrities having wild monkey sex, and that it hurts no one in the undertaking.