#(and also the further context that Ellu is scared shitless of any Eldest more than any other entity. or god even)
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Putting him in the blender is no longer enough I need to-
#river rambles#oc: elluin#I got to thinking about how him becoming shyka is so fucked up from a THIRD ANGLE#besides the obvious horror of it all#and the daeran pov of the person you loved that saved you from a terrifying hivemind entity becoming part of one#just. it sort of mirrors aeons in a way. yeah duh it's trickster you may say LET ME SPEAK#In the sense of . You know beings that see multiple versions of reality and timelines and everything#and are supposedly somewhat keeping order#How with the aeon in particular he genuinely felt insulted when offered the path as. He's an anomaly right. From a cosmic perspective#and it's caused him nothing but shit. To have a being that's supposed to fix cosmic errors show up to him-#and have the nerve to ask for ANYTHING? Again- insulting#but in a way Shyka isn't very different are they#of course there's the rather important detail of Elluin being part of them already#a snake biting its tail eternally- if you will#(and also the further context that Ellu is scared shitless of any Eldest more than any other entity. or god even)#just. you're on this path because you desperately crave freedom- control of your own fate#to hold it in your own hands rather than get tossed around by it like a punching bag#And you DO! But it's just not enough. When deep down you've always seen yourself as wretched and doomed. Having that notion confirmed..#well. that's it. Its set in stone. It doesnt matter that your power is SHATTERING stones- the option doesn't even cross your mind.#It was never going to. no matter how badly you want to live- you could never fathom a reason why you'd deserve to#i'm very normal about this. you can tell by the second person narration.
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