#but in an ideal world I'd wear something like this again

[nerdalmighty]

I was tagged by @the-pale-elfs-love! Thank you!!

This picrew and the last song you listened to.

Now that it's summer, I have a bunch of flowy, fem tops and I usually wear a headband or a bow in my hair! I have a black cat at home (Ducky!) so OBVIOUSLY I had to include him :)

As for last song, I listened to "Disconnected" by 5 Seconds of Summer - one of my all time faves! (I still use iTunes, whomp whomp, and the album art is shitty because I downloaded it from the internet like 10 years ago 😭)

(Also I like to yap so you don't need to explain your choices or anything lol)

Lemme tag a few people: @riddlerosehearts, @deerbot36, @khywren, @minestrones, and @starkspi! No pressure!!

[brownbearwrites]

i'm thinking about being in a trouple with felix and oliver again, and specifically the concept of the quiet possession you'd have of one another. for selfish reasons i'd imagine being married to felix, which'd mean that the two of you would have matching wedding rings as a symbol of your relationship. but of course, oliver would never pass on an opportunity to present his claim on you and felix — even if your place in polite society means that you cannot simply wear a ring from oliver too.

i think that, in an ideal world, he'd like to collar you. something thick and leather, absolutely impossible to ignore, his name engraved on a golden tag like you and felix were his obedient puppies.

most likely, he'd have to settle for necklaces. a long dainty golden chain for you, perhaps even with a discreet pendant that'd have his name engraved on the back — hidden from onlooker's eyes as it'd dangle on your chest. for felix, he'd probably pick out something shorter in length. thicker gold links like a band around his neck, just enough lenience to not be constricting. (if he was feeling excessively possessive, he might add a dog tag-style pendant too, just to make felix feel properly owned)

[ty-bayonet-betteridge]

Phoenix/Miles 35

in reference to this. 35 - as a lie

Miles Edgeworth, hearing his office door swing open, moved quickly. It only took a moment to open his desk drawer and slip the letter he'd been writing inside. He closed the drawer again, feigning nonchalance as he glanced up at the man entering his office.

Of course it was him. Who else would it be?

"Wright," Edgeworth said. "What are you doing here at this ungodly hour?"

Phoenix smiled, shutting the door behind him. He was wearing his jacket, but removed it and folded it over his arm as he spoke. "I could ask the same thing of you, Edgeworth. Are you really working this late on a Friday night?"

"Unlike some people," he said, "I do not have the luxury of my own schedule. The Prosecutor's Office doesn't stop on my whims."

"What could they have you working so hard on right after we just wrapped up all that SL-9 business?"

"Oh, you mean the incident in which it came out that I'd achieved a conviction using fabricated evidence? The one where the Chief of Police was revealed as a murderer? The one where our Chief Prosecutor was incarcerated?" The very corner of his mouth tipped up in a slight, sarcastic smile. "You're quite right, Wright. I can't think of any fallout from that incident which might require further attention from the Prosecutor's Office."

Phoenix crossed the room easily - he always moved with such purpose - to stand on Edgeworth's side of the desk. He leaned easily against it, an intrusion Edgeworth catalogued and said nothing about.

"Even so, it's not fair for them to make you stay so late," he said.

"Hm. Still haven't lost your idealism, have you?"

"Maybe so," he said, "but if I haven't, I don't want to."

"Sometimes, Wright, I wish I could see the world the way you do."

"It's never too late to change your outlook, Miles."

"Hah." He shook his head. "So what brings you up here, in any case? Are you just visiting to needle me about my late hours?"

"Well, not entirely," Phoenix said. He fiddled with the folds of his jacket, still slung over his arm, before sitting it down on Edgeworth's desk and continuing. "Ema's just left for Europe."

"So I heard. To stay with one of Chief Prosecutor Skye's friends in Germany, if I recall correctly."

"You didn't come to the station to see her off."

Edgeworth turned his eyes away. "I... had the distinct feeling my presence would be somewhat less than appreciated."

"And there it is," Phoenix said. "I came here to see if you were still blaming yourself. Looks like I got my answer without needing to ask."

Edgeworth sighed. "Sometimes, Wright, you are entirely too perceptive. It has been a consistent thorn in my side since you made your way back into my life."

"You know you didn't do anything, right? You're completely innocent."

"I used forged evidence to achieve a guilty verdict. That is enough for me to consider myself beyond forgiveness."

"That's not your choice to make," Phoenix said. "I forgive you. Lana and Ema forgive you. There's nothing you can do about that."

"I appreciate the pep talk, Wright," he said, "but unless you have something of concrete value to say, I'd ask you to leave me to my work."

"I'm not leaving until you're done throwing your little pity party," Phoenix said. "Stop moping."

"I am not moping."

"You're definitely moping. Don't mope. It doesn't look good on you."

Edgeworth gave a long-suffering sigh. "The only evidence I have ever found for the existence of a God," he said, "is that without one, it is astronomically unlikely a man so perfectly tailored to disturb me and my peace would come to exist."

Phoenix laughed.

"It isn't a compliment, Wright," he snapped.

"No, but it's funny," he said. "Sometimes I feel just the same way as you. You're a real piece of work, Edgeworth."

"I have been... made aware."

Phoenix leaned forward, placing a hand on the side of Edgeworth's face. Edgeworth's first instinct was to jerk away, which he successfully resisted.

"Hey," Phoenix said. "You know I'm in love with you, right?"

"I'd realized," Edgeworth said. "And you know I can't return those feelings. Not yet."

"That's alright," Phoenix said. "You've had a lot going on these last fifteen years, Miles."

"Hah. I suppose one could say that."

"Just..." Phoenix paused. "Don't go anywhere. Take as long as you need, but stay right here. Promise me that."

The letter was burning a hole in Edgeworth's desk. "Of course, Phoenix," he said.

"I need you to promise, Miles," he said. Phoenix bit his lip and looked away. "I spent too long wondering what had happened to you. I can't do that again. I need you in my life, in whatever way you'll let me be."

Edgeworth wasn't usually one for impulsivity, but he'd been trying to take the odd lesson from his childhood friend, and that seemed to be a primary characteristic of the way he lived his life. So he did something impulsive. He placed his hand on the back of Phoenix's head, pulled him further down, and planted a kiss on Phoenix's cheek.

"I promise you, Wright," he said, "that I will remain in contact with you for as long as you would like me to."

Phoenix visibly relaxed. "Thank you, Miles."

"Of course."

[mail-posting]

Some headcanon deductions based off of my headcanon/kin Emil :3

1. Warm: The default state of being, and all that anyone truly ever wants.

A photograph: a mother and father stand each side of a young child. Their hands do not touch.

2. A lamb: Little knowledge, little skills, little idea when to run away.

A photograph: A sick boy leans half-heartedly on his unconscious mother's chest in the street. His crying eyes are wide as they reflect the flash of the camera. The world screams to a halt for him.

3. Empty home: Even with the strange food and the scary voices and the loud noises you can hear, the thing that hurts the most is the need to stay awake.

A diary entry: All that boy's good for is sympathy! He's hopeless at stealing, or tricking, or lying, or anything else we do. I'd be better off raising more hounds than keeping this useless brat!

At the very least, I could make it fun for me to watch.

4. Trapped: You thought you could run away, but the roars of the crowd only got closer and closer.

A diary entry: Damn it all! I thought they would have torn him to shreds, but he managed to fight his way out. looks like he has some strength to him.

The crowd cheered more than I've ever heard them before. I could certainly use his win for a profitable idea...

5: A mutt: maybe this isn't so bad after all...

A photograph: A teenager, bloody and bruised and scarred, is lying asleep on the bottom of a cramped cage. Shackles are locked tight around his ankles. There's a cracked bowl of "food" laying clearly out of reach. It is swarmed by maggots. Despite everything, he looks oddly happy. Must be a nice dream he's having. Shame that it'll be interrupted soon.

6. Stare: You're such an unsightly thing, aren't you?

A diary entry: I saw something on my walk today. I thought it may have been a dog, or some strange lamb, so I wandered up to it. But they were human as they uncurled themselves from where they must have been asleep.

I didn't want to run, I just... panicked. I couldn't find them again to apologise. I hope prayer will be enough. I'm so sorry...

Your son, A. K.

7. Rain: Wash away the filth, the pain, the memories...

A patient record:

Found: on white sand street.

Identity: "Emil"

Age: ?? (16+)

Reasons for institutionalisation: high fever, amnesia, talking to self, disobedient, laziness, bad company.

Suggested treatment: Obedience training involving electroshock therapy and sedatives between. Should be muzzled until trained into not biting. Should be strapped down until trained into not wandering.

8. Gentle words: The faux feeling of safety lifts you up and drops you back down without you having to think... up...down...up...down...sleep.

A medical note: "Emil" has been reacting well to the sedative treatments. However, he currently needs painful stimuli in order to keep himself awake. The ideal state is barely conscious enough to function, so alterations are needed.

The training has, however, gone wonderfully. It has removed his desire to fight or run away completely, although he still freezes up occasionally. It appears he's still having hallucinations.

9. Stressed: That whistle hurts your ears... In fact, everything has hurt more since she appeared.

A small note: a set of neat curly handwriting reads "Ada or medicine?". A different set of shakier handwriting replies "medicine. please". The note is stained with tears.

10: A carriage ride: You've always loved watching the world swim through your glassy eyes.

A photograph: Two men wearing dark clothes are talking to each other to the side of a carriage. One of the men is handing over a hefty sum of money to the other. The one recieving it holds a letter in his hand.

Next to them, a smaller, younger man sits cross legged, wrapping a dandelion clock he picked around his fingers. He looks exhausted, or maybe just empty, but there's a smile on his face as the seeds catch in his hair.

[gemsofgreece]

hi ! I apologize if it is a weird or rude question, but as a history buff and mediterranea lover, i'd love to visit greece one day as everything about her seems fire, plus you have great historical relationship with my country, france. The thing is that im muslim and half north african, and i look very arab (plus i have like the most cliché arabic name, so no one would probably see me as french), so im a bit apprehensive about going in greece, because you dont have the most cordial relationship with muslims (i understand tbf), and that in a lot of countries know for their "hospitality", it is actually only for white people. I know that you have a lot of tourists and immigrants but that doesnt really means the average greek tolerate them (like france for exemple were there is a lot of muslims but french dislike them). So i wanted to ask what do greeks think of north africans and women wearing the hijab and how they are treated, bc i wouldnt be comfortable being somewhere where half of the population would be glad to see me suffer. Im sorry if i sound ignorant, racist or rude ^^'

Hello! Before I go into detail I think you should not be concerned about this or allow these thoughts to fill you with stress that could affect your enjoyment of your vacation in Greece.

While Greece is part of Eastern Europe where there are more racist beliefs towards muslims compared to West Europe (or at least so it was, but I am currently seeing far right rising in the west exponentially), Greece is also one of the most visited countries in the world at this point and during the last decade it has been receiving tourists from all around the globe, people of all skintones and faiths. A huge number of Greeks work in the tourism sector and are perfectly acquainted with providing tourist services to everybody without exception. In fact, we also get a lot of tourists from countries with less than ideal relations with Greece and I have never heard reports of something going wrong or of Greeks being unfriendly to them.

Now a few words about racism in Greece in order to help you develop a better understanding of it. First of all, I am sure extremely problematic individuals who usually express the dark side of themselves on the Internet do exist in Greece, however the likelihood of stumbling in real life onto a Greek who would like to see one "suffer" on the basis of their skincolour or religion is incredibly slim. This is neither a prevalent nor even a considerable let alone a normalised behaviour in Greece at all.

Racism in Greece is usually very... contextual. Greeks foster negative feelings for specific nations first and foremost and it usually has to do with historical trauma, about which I assume you know some stuff since you said "I get it tbf". Greeks also may have negative feelings for nations who are traditionally allies of aforementioned nations. The second thing that can ignite racist behaviour amongst Greeks is the religion indeed but not so much due to the religion itself but because a religion may be heavily associated with any of the nations that are on their black list. This sometimes causes biased stances towards all believers of the religion in question, even if they have nothing to do with those few nations. Skincolour comes last in the possibility of triggering racist behaviour in Greece, especially when it comes to tourists. But again I dare say even in an 80% of the cases it is because it is associated with countries that might be viewed as unfriendly to Greece or Christianity than any sort of rhetoric about inherent superiority or inferiority based on skincolour. Again, I am not saying there are no individuals who think this way - there definitely are - but it's not the primary type of racism encountered in Greece and it is exremely unlikely to interact with such a person in your vacation. We had such a type of political party but it was outlawed and its leaders got imprisoned. Meanwhile, the West was screaming nonstop that bad Greece has such a political party and now they are putting theirs in their parliaments or letting them govern. The irony.

Several Greeks are against the immigrants but it is primarily due to the financial and unemployment problems the country has even without a constant influx of new-comers and then because most of these immigrants are again viewed as nationals from countries unfriendly to Greece and secondarily Christianity that only arrive here as a necessity and not because they want to live and contribute to the Greek society. Then there are also many Greeks who rally for the immigrants' rights. But racism in Greece is really SO contextual that a dark Muslim can melt away a suspicious Greek's reservation, if they express feelings of appreciation or understanding for Greece, within the course of five minutes! It's kind of amusing.

Now, you being a woman actually minimizes your chances of an unfortunate racist incident way more. Exactly because Greek racism is founded so much more on past historical trauma or perception of extremist movements in nearby parts of the world rather than ideologies of superiority, nobody considers women as part of the problem or views them as a threat. The worst that can happen to you is to notice that someone may be initially neutral or indifferent to you until they hear your french accent and your positive perception of Greece and instantly warm up or something. But someone could be neutral or indifferent for just about any reason, including having a bad day. I honestly don't think you could get a worse reception as long as you are a considerate polite tourist. The hijab is indeed an uncommon sight in Greece but the worst thing you may get is looks, mostly out of curiosity, not hatred. And that is if you are in a more remote or less touristy location. In the largest cities or the busiest islands people won't care.

Now there's also the other side to all this. Greeks are known to often make good friends with people from the "black list" countries. Greeks are friendly and sociable and they usually only expect from you a positive outlook on their country to discard their reservations. Greece also in fact has very good relations with many Arab countries. Politically, Greece has very good relations with Egypt, Libya (supported the progressive side in the civil war, the House of the Representatives and the National Libyan Army), Algeria, Morocco, Tunisia, Lebanon, Jordan, Saudi Arabia and UAE. So, a great part of the Arab world. In fact, Greeks and Arabs are believed to be friends in general. Now, this does not apply to every single situation or to what every single individual thinks from either side but I am just saying it to dispute any potential misunderstanding that Greeks supposedly have some sort of major feud with Arabs or some Arab-centric racist feelings.

In short, you should not be concerned about it : you are a woman, you are a tourist genuinely interested in Greece, everyone will pick up on your french accent lol and you can freely mention your North African Arab background. Obviously I cannot guarantee nothing will ever happen 1000% but it is not more likely here than it is in France.

[elizabethplaid]

please clap - daily notes, oct 20, 2024

I think I'm swinging into a "mania"-esque phase, as I'm actually cleaning the upstairs floor of my house. Cleaning with chemicals, even!

My mental health fucks with me in various ways, so I'll keep it brief. Most of the time, I don't get everything. I clean the bathroom fixtures, clear out trash, but I'm overwhelmed by the time I finish those. I take what accomplishments I can, and I'm already doing nicely today.

Details below the cut, because it doesn't affect the price of tea overseas.

Wearing disposable gloves, I cleaned the sink-counter, the floor of my shower stall, and sprayed cleaner on other stuff. Gathered all the trash in that area, started a new bag, etc.

When I reached my limit, I laid on the floor for a few minutes. Then I sat in front of my bedroom door, where I gathered more of the cardboard tp tubes that Moscow likes to play with. I've gathered 34 so far.

Sitting in front of the fan now, still on a break. Next tasks will be to gather trash and bottles, then start putting away clean laundry. And before I finish my break, I'll call in some Rx's to refill. ========

Looking at the goals I wrote last week, I'm already working on a few of these today. Like I said, cleaning and laundry, and I've picked up knitting again. I've been able to wear pajama pants better, even while sleeping.

What's the difference between this week and last? Or even today and yesterday? It's merely that my inner-drive, my self-driven momentum, has kicked in. It sounds foolishly vague, but it's a feeling of whether I'm "ready" or not, not even having to think about it hard. Like, I've been planning my approach to all this cleaning for some time now, but it took "a shift in the wind" to make it happen.

There was a post recently that used the phrase "paralysis of will", alluding to executive dysfunction. There was another that mentioned that shame is a de-motivator, not a motivator.

The fact that cleaning triggers my anxiety (sensory, memory, sense of shame) doesn't help. My counselor has helped me learn to really celebrate and cherish these "mundane" accomplishments.

I used to get snide comments when I'd mention I cleaned something, that I "should do that more often". That would take the wind out of my sails; I'd feel shame for wanting to be proud of myself. At that point, asking for help felt like it'd only bring me more shame.

Today, I will do as much as I can. For bigger things (scrubbing the shower stall, vacuuming), I'll ask for help. I know I won't get snide comments anymore, but I hope my work will help "prove" that I'm doing the best I can.

Ugh, another week-and-a-half til counseling again, and I've already got a rich topic. Oof, I didn't expect to be acknowledging these feelings today.

I'm very glad that my world is smaller than it used to be. It gives me the freedom to be honest with myself, not worrying about criticism.

I already know I'm not going to be an ideal spouse for whoever, someday in the future. I have a lot of heart, but heart doesn't get chores done or pay the bills. So I'll pray my partner has enough income to afford to hire a cleaner for us, haha. And my counseling appointments; insurance only covers so much. :P

[duchessdepolignaca03]

WIP Wednesday - A Most Self-Indulgent WIP

Getting an early jump on WIP Wednesday (GASP). I think I am coming to terms with the fact that I have a very specific wheelhouse that I like to play in. And it's not going to be something that 99.9% of the fandom will care for, but my God am I going to write my self-indulgent bullshit. But still, I'd be interested to know if there's any interest at all in this BS :D

So I bring my latest WIP, currently titled: Horny Trophy Wife!Henry Committing Adultery with Alex in a Vaguely Historical European Setting, feat. not-Baron Zemo.

Warnings: Mpreg of the hand wavy variety, Forced Marriage, Infidelity/Adultery.

Read under the cut. Tags also under the cut!

Henry looks over at his husband across the table, and barely conceals the grimace that wishes to peek through his wide, placating smile. Five years of his life he has given this man, five years of wearing the mask of a happy, content spouse. It’s true that the Baron is handsome in his own right, unimaginably wealthy and educated and refined despite his humble origin, and on paper ought to be an ideal husband. But the Baron’s stubborn nature and Henry’s tempestuous fury make for a sorry, wretched match. 

Yet Henry cannot say their marriage has been unproductive. Four little angels he has given the Baron, all four with strawberry-hued yellow hair and eyes as blue and fearsome as his own. They are Henry’s creatures, clinging to him like barnacles even as they grew out of infancy. His little angels serve as balms to his unrelenting loneliness, the ache of foreignness and not-belonging that will never dissipate from where it has settled down into his bones like the bitter cold air of this unforgiving land.

Henry craves the excitement he has been denied his whole life. First, because he was a threat to his older brother, who was pale and sickly yet ambitious, a stark contrast to Henry’s vigour, fertility and frivolity. Henry’s circumscribed upbringing was intended to diminish him in the eyes of the world, lest the unparalleled beauty and grace of the spare cause him to rise above the anointed heir. The match with the Baron was therefore ideal: the marriage brought England wealth and a mighty ally, and Henry would vanish out of sight and out of mind. 

Then, because he was dutiful and sweet, he was with child within weeks of his wedding night. His fertile belly had scarcely been empty since, a consequence of his temper flaring up at his husband, making them both concupiscent despite the lack of affection for one another in their hearts. As each one came into the world, the Baron jested that Henry was birthing his own army to rival the Baron’s own. Henry demurely denied his allegations, instead dreaming of more illustrious futures for his babes than to become lords and ladies of desolate lands rich only in the treasures that could be hewn from the rocks. 

But there is little promise of excitement in his life, besides the happiness the children bring. Occasionally, his heart will race – like when there is little news days after the end of one of the Baron’s military campaigns, and he can briefly fantasize about a merry widowhood. Then news arrives and his hopes are dashed and his husband returns and he finds himself once again with child even though the last one is barely out of swaddling clothes. 

A visit by emissaries of a young nation sets the court abuzz. The new nation had been born out of the ashes of a rival empire the Baron had helped set aflame, and so the visitors were to be honoured with days of dazzling amusement. But Henry is in a melancholy mood, and cannot bring himself to pretend to look forward to the long, agonising hours of politicking he will have to attend at his husband’s side. 

There is a silver lining, however. A quite literal one. The Baron, in all of his wisdom and quest to show off his dearest prize, had commissioned an elegant gown for Henry to wear to the ball celebrating the emissaries’ arrival, inspired by the suits of armour from the ancient days of chivalry. And bashful as he might play, Henry is a creature of vanity, excited by the notion of being observed and desired as an ethereal, untouchable beauty: the Baron’s angel of war and mother to his nation.

Tagging: @sparklepocalypse @orchidscript @hgejfmw-hgejhsf @priincebutt, @piratefalls, @onthewaytosomewhere @nocoastposts, @magicandarchery,, @zwiazdziarka, @taste-thewaste and ANYONE because I need more friends.

[broodsys]

yelling into the void

my biggest issue lately is a deep fear about my future being uncertain. i'm very disabled, i'm easily fatigued, and i know i wouldn't be able to do any kind of "typical" job, although i might be able to do a full-time office job, but it'd wear on me a lot at the same time, esp re: getting there and back

but i don't think that, realistically, i can just... avoid having a job. i need to work

and part of my big spiral lately is that i recently found one job that actually seemed feasible, and, bonus, like something i'd actually enjoy doing and had some experience with. i knew it was unlikely that i would get it, but i still hoped, y'know? i just really wanted this one thing to go my way. but, no. got rejected for it. and i've been really bad about applying around, but it feels so pointless, y'know? like there was a time i was submitting 40+ apps and getting nothing. so now i'm being choosier and trying to do better at them but it's still getting me nowhere

and i'm just. really scared and exhausted and demoralized

i've thought a lot about applying for disability, but there are a lot of limitations if i go that route. plus it would be a Process and i'll probably get denied multiple times and may have to fight to retain my coverage and all these other things

and yknow. unmedicated adhd sucks. it sucks! i have so much trouble doing shit but i'm wary of getting medicated rn because of the shortages and all, and i honestly think it'd be worse for me to find something that works and have it be taken away than to continue on with all my weird structures and routines that sorta-kinda work

add to that a lot of continuing tensions in my household, a lot of... i won't get into it, but health risk factors also in my household... and a serious inability to prepare food and eat well regularly that isn't even so much linked to my disabilities as it is to my family situation, it just sucks. it's hard af and there doesn't seem to be a way out except a job... which i can't get

and what's extra frustrating is that i actually want to work. i think having a job, so long as it's something i can do wrt my disabilities, would help me a lot, even aside from relieving the fear. i do much better with external structure. i try to build my own strict routines and that does help, but external stuff has always worked better for me. i've thought about returning to school but finaid is already a little :/ about giving me more money bc i've gone through the dental assisting program only to immediately return to school to get my BA, plus honestly i wouldn't even know what to do besides use school as an intermediary external structure

but i want to work. i want to do things. and in an ideal world, i want a job that lets me help - people, the environment, whatever, just to do some good. i want money that i can donate to causes. i want to have a sense of even relative security in my life and future. and i can't get that by doing nothing but holy shit doing anything feels so pointless rn

so yeah, that's the biggest, most immediate hurdle i gotta get over now. have to pick up my hope or at least my stubbornness and try again and fail again and try again anyway and it sucks so much and i'm so tired but there's no alternative

[burnxngslash]

✧ ━━ Romance Headcanons.

Name: Arsene Lupin

Nickname: Lupin, Thief, Crook, Dashing

Gender: male

Romantic orientation: Heterosexual

Preferred pet names: There aren't many things that he'd prefer because it's all about the names THEY chose for him and that alone means significantly enough for him, but for the sake of this question he wouldn't mind being called things like: mon trésor , mon chéri , mon diable. Along with the common things like 'honey, dearest and even baby.

Relationship status: That's definitely a verse dependent thing answer, but again for the sake of this post I do have Lupin shipped with two muses. (though at one time it used to be four but that was a few years back.)

There's @more-than-a-princess Sonia, I think as mutuals we ship the hell out of 'em but as of right now they're in that 'will they/won't they' limbo because Sonia herself is wondering if Lupin's feelings are genuine when IN HER defense the world has been nothing but a big stage for Lupin but he does really end up falling for her but knows she has A HELL of a responsibility towards the country he loves. Honestly if it were up to him he'd definitely just kidnap her if she allows him to.

And it's @maljefe Loni, who is this tough girl on the outside but Lupin saw a little glimpse the softy she could be and there was also that little drabble of them exploring an extremely haunted mansion and she was soo clingy.

Opinion on true love: Lupin is a romantic, so his opinion on true love is positive. It's something that exists but there's also the reality of knowing that it's not there for EVERYONE either.

Opinion on love at first sight: He believes it's infatuation rather than 'love' itself. Love..even TRUE love takes time and effort and it's not something people can grasp on their first meeting.

How ‘romantic’ are they?: DO NOT TRUST LUPIN! At first anyway, He's a man that wears so many masks, HELL if you meet him on the streets he would not even give you his real name. Flirting is a means of indulgence and a tactic for manipulation BUT that said he DOES end up catching feelings, genuine feelings for a potential lover, it's just his 'exciting' life that keeps him from truly committing to what COULD be. It's probably why he flirts as he believes a harmless fling would not amount to anything.

NOTE: His flirting goes as far as hand holding and deep gazes. You'd break him if you gave him bedroom eyes.

Ideal physical traits: He's not exactly the pickiest. You could be physically fit or even a little on the chubby side and he'd love you regardless. That's how much of a romantic he is.

Ideal personality traits: Kindness, Selflessness, moderate intelligence (but huge plus if you're a genius), outgoing personality, a little of a rebellious soul.

Unattractive physical traits: No preference, you could even be missing a limb.

Unattractive personality traits: Greedy, selfish, murderous, the type to abuse their power to oppress the meek, the type who steal for their selfish desires.

Ideal date: Depends on the time frame. For a more historic-era Lupin the best places for him would be a garden or even a theater because he really does love art. Modern days the movie or a restaurant where he could spend time with his beloved.

Do they have a type?: Adventurous, strong woman with a touch of darkness in them.

Average relationship length: He's a locked-in for life type of person but I'd imagine given his life as a thief and often travels between paris and england I'd say he might probably be in a relationship for a month or two.

Preferred non-sexual intimacy: He'll put his hat on his lover's head and then proceed to kiss them and from there it's a matter of just sitting on a bench to just enjoy the stars in the sky, maybe even dance for a little while.

Opinion of public affection: He's a gentleman, whilst he would kiss his lover on the hand, hold her and even cuddle he still would refrain from passionate kisses in public as he believes that's something for them to enjoy in their moments of privacy. But there are exceptions to this rule of course like being overjoyed or the pain of separation and they can't help but kiss. Things like that.

Past relationships?: I mean canonically speaking I'd say Josephine Balsamo.

tagged: @more-than-a-princess (thanks for tagging yo boy)

tagging: Steal it if you're interested homie. Tag me though cause I'd love to read it.

[schismusic]

A short one about the 25th of April + two tidbits to celebrate and be angry

As most of you may know by now, I am from Italy. April 25th is the day we conventionally celebrate and commemorate the liberation of most of the main Italian cities from Nazifascist occupation armies. It's not a great time right now to be an antifascist in Italy: just yesterday daniela santanchè, current representative of the Fratelli d'italia government — the same party, mind you, who keep in their emblem the tricolor flame, symbol invented by the Movimento Sociale Italiano, founded in 1948 by notorious fascist bureaucrats and racists such as giorgio almirante — proudly declared herself a fascist in front of a cheering audience. Not to mention the Antonio Scurati speech débâcle (for those not in the know: RAI, the Italian national television, network censored a speech meant to air in commemoration of April 25th, in order to give more space to anti-abortion activists on a TV show called Che sarà) which led prime minister giorgia meloni to publicly denounce some sort of conspiracy on the left's part to her damage or some shit, despite the fact that RAI journalists have been reading multiple speeches concerning a number of recently passed laws that are clearly meant to turn TV into the government's personal PA system. Among these laws, one of them allows for government representatives to speak without any time limits and without a journalist's questions or counter-statements. I'm assuming I don't have to tell you how worrying this is.

The Italian left is perennially plagued by inner divisions and schisms, even nowadays — a time where it barely exists at all. The one thing it agrees on is the Resistance, the grassroots movement which had the American army finding most of the big cities in the country already freed of fascists by the time it marched into the streets. It's very easy to use it as a trump card: if you have no political plan, no ideals, nothing to convince people with, you turn to the Resistance and everyone claps and laughs. I find it horrifying that what is a beacon of hope from the past is now reduced to a mere, useless talking point for gutless bureaucrats of the centrist variety (at best). The bloodlessness is what will ultimately lead this whole thing to failure — the way a liver fails.

But this is mainly a music blog, right? So music you shall have. I want to leave you with two links.

Canadian sound artist and urban scientist Tim Hecker made a record in 2006 called Harmony in Ultraviolet. On the cover of the album is a close-up of a monument dedicated to the people who died being part of the Resistance between the years of 1943 and 1945. The record stands as a marvelous sound sculpture of lacerating beauty and those in the know have an element to relate to: even people on the other side of the world look at what we have accomplished in the past, and gave us a reminder that we can accomplish it now, again. Despite the greying and wearing of trite talking points, something dangerous, vital, sparkling, shining still exists and blares through, now and again, time and time again.

There is a song I always think of on the 25th of April, every year. It's called Lettera del compagno Laszlo al comandante Valerio, written and performed by Giorgio Canali and his band Rossofuoco. Italy has never had its own personal Nuremberg; quite the opposite, actually, with Palmiro Togliatti (president of the National Liberation Committee) signing an amnesty in order to keep the preexisting structures running, which for fuck's sake, who the fuck does that? So this song is exactly about that. It goes something like this and I'd like you to keep it in mind.

Buon 25 Aprile / Happy April the 25th

[my-castles-crumbling]

Impressive Anon again!

I don’t remember what I said exactly but it was something like this:

Is it wrong to lie about pronouns?

Everytime I’m asked about my pronouns I try to avoid responding and if I can’t change the subject I lie and say she/her. I am not ready for people to interrogate me about why I don’t use she/her so I just say that’s what I use to make them happy.

This week I start my placement. I’ve been really stressed about them calling me Miss or Ms as that’s how I’ll be perceived. I’ve told my mum about this (not exactly, I kind of just said I don’t want to be ms/miss ‘last name’ bc it makes me feel old 😭) but still kind of the same thing. Anyway she said something along the lines of “this is your time and you should be referred to how you want to be (thinking I prefer ms (then my first name instead of last name)). But what she said made me think about introducing myself at this school as the real me. Like I’ll use my real pronouns and get called what I want to be called. But this also makes me anxious bc as I said before I’m really scared of judgement and don’t want many questions asked.

When I lie it makes me feel shitty bc I want to be able to express who I am but society makes it hard to do so.

I’ll probably just go to the school and be called ms and use she/her. But is it normal to feel like a liar when I lie about this even tho it’s to protect myself?

Ok this is a ramble and probably makes no sense but is it normal to lie about pronouns bc I’m not ready or am I doing the wrong thing by myself?

Do you have any experience with this that could make me feel less alone :(

Is there anything the students call you that feels right? Do students know you are non-binary?

(You don’t have to answer those if you don’t want to)

Thank you so much again Cas for being the most supportive, kind, friendly, amazing and helpful human in the world! <3

Hi! <3

I am so glad you asked this because it's such an important topic.

It is ABSOLUTELY okay to lie about your pronouns.

Here's the thing. Saying your pronouns is basically coming out, right? And you should NEVER come out before you're ready. EVER. You would do so much more damage to yourself if you outed yourself when you weren't ready.

And I'm going to be honest, I lie about my pronouns all the time- either by omission or flat out. Why? Because I literally don't feel safe in some situations. Is it ideal? No. Does it feel great? Absolutely not. But in new situations with people you don't know, It's okay to put your safety and your needs first. you're not hurting anyone by doing so.

As far as school, I am currently called Mrs.(lastname) and I hate it. I started working at my school before I came out to anyone, so at the time, going by that made the most sense. Now? Not so much. But funnily enough, I have a few students with speech issues that just call me (lastname) and it's super affirming. So, at my next school, I'll probably go with that. As far as why I haven't changed it? Honestly, I'm scared. I DO wear a pin with my pronouns, and I have them in my signature of my e-mail, but only one person in the entire school uses them (and calls me (lastname)), so it doesn't feel like a safe place to really push it, you know? And like you, sometimes I feel bad about that, but it's like...is it more detrimental to my mental health to be she/her-d all day or to possibly be made fun of for my identity all day? Right now, it's the first one. It might change later.

Only YOU can decide what feels right and safe for you, and I support you 1000% on whatever you choose. Anyone who doesn't isn't looking out for you.

Also if you ever want to chat about this more, I'd absolutely love to- there are so few educators (or upcoming educators) that struggle with this that it would be so cool to talk!

<3 <3 <3

[gurokichi]

there's something perfectly fantastical in the idea of taking you away with me, isolating you from society and anyone else who would even think of looking at you. would that not be a perfect world? you and i, away from any prying eyes, free to live out our dreams and desires. they'd be no one to take me away from you, or distract me. my eyes would only be on you, and vice versa. i wouldn't have to ever worry about you paying attention to someone else. we would be enough and more for each other. you'd be the perfect doll for me to use and love. during the day, we'd go outside, look at the lovely plants and animals and flowers. at night, we'd come back to our cozy little house. i'd carve out lovely flowers and patterns into your back, and cut out a little piece of your spine to use as room decor. (it wouldn't paralyse you, because this is the ideal world.) and then we could give each other matching bruises. is there anything that sounds better than that? it'd be our way of marking each other. my claim over you, imparted into your flesh. you'd wear a collar with my name on it, and you'd never have to worry about anything or think again, just follow me around and continue looking pretty. dolls aren't very well known for their thinking skills, after all. we could make flower crowns for each other, and have tea together every day on our patio. (because we have one.) you could bake a different confection for me every day, and i'd cook for us. we'd sleep together on a nice bed with a cute bedspread and dream about each other at night too, because do we really need anyone else, even in our sleep? we'd be content and happy together, forever. is it selfish of me to squander you away, keep you all for me? i don't think i care very much. as long as you're with me, could i need anything else?

-👤

ERIS THIS WAS SO CUTE… I read this so many times ahdjshdjsgdj（≧∇≦）

That does sound like a perfect world!! I think that we'd be very happy together, far away from everyone else! We should have a garden... we could grow our own food and very pretty plants. And lets keep lots of cute animals as our pets! Take any adorable ones we find out on our walk back home 😇 WE SHOULD ALSO HAVE A LIBRARY FOR YOU!! Cause you love reading!! Maybe you could read to me, ehehe. At night, we could spend some time stargazing before heading in... I love space. We should get a telescope too!! And maybe in our perfect world, you could see Mars with the telescope, and it'd be pink. You know what flower I'd want carved into me? Lily of the Valley, they are gorgeous!!! I'm gonna get a bunch for our Minecraft house. And I'm gonna make us the coziest Minecraft house ever because of this. Do you have a favorite flower that's in Minecraft? I wanna collect that too. Anyway, back on topic, is there a flower that you'd want carved into you? I think it'd be cute to both have flowers. And bruises. You have such great ideas. ALSO THE COLLAR... NEED. I'd trail after you everywhere if I could! I actually don't know how to make a flower crown, you'd have to teach me, but I do know how to make daisy chains. Tea parties every day, yippee!! I'd love being able to bake for you. I'd make you the yummiest treats ever, trust. As for dreaming about each other, I'd much prefer the real Eris over the dream Eris! Dream Eris could never compare to you. I don't think it's selfish, and this sounds like a lovely way to live <3

[stargazer-sims]

Journal Entry #51 (part one)

previously - Journal Entry #50

Victor

Hey everyone!

Guess who got one of his casts off?

Spoiler alert: it's me!

My right wrist only had a partial fracture, and after looking at my latest x-rays, Dr. Sato said the bone is completely knitted together now. I started physio for my right arm today, and guess what else? I'm cleared for limited daytime driving and light exercise, and the doctor says that if I keep progressing at this rate, she'll fully clear me for all my normal activities in a month. That means snowboarding. It means I can start training again, and eventually competing again if I want to.

Yuri doesn't like the idea of me getting back into competition, but he said he won't try to stop me if it's what I want. What I really want is to make it into the FIS World Championship next year and hopefully place in the top ten. Ideally, I'd like to be on the medal podium, but I have to be realistic about it. Naturally, I'm aiming for the top, but it's just that I have to be prepared not to achieve that, because as I've learned, anything can happen.

But, I've promised Yuri that I'll retire at the end of next season, regardless of the outcome at Worlds. If I have a year to mentally prepare myself for my retirement, maybe it won't be so difficult.

Dr. Sato says it'll be at least another two to three weeks before my left arm is ready to come out of its cast, and she says I'll likely have to wear a wrist brace for a few more weeks after that. Even though I'm itching to get back on the slopes, I'm trying to look on the bright side. Having one of my hands back in service has made a massive difference in the level of help I need, so I definitely shouldn't be complaining.

Talking about my arms makes me realize just how much time has actually passed since I recorded anything here. It's been about five and a half weeks since my accident, and the last time I made an entry was a little over two weeks after it. So, basically that's three weeks of radio silence. Sorry for that.

It's been a chaotic three weeks, but Yuri and I have been managing. Mom and Julian already went home, and Uncle Kaz left the day before yesterday, but Yuri's parents are still here to look after us. We're getting lots of support from our friends as well.

Yuri finally got out of the hospital after having been in there for seventeen days. He's still mostly on bed rest at home, but I can see him improving little by little each day. He’s sleeping less and eating regularly now, and doesn’t seem to be in as much pain as he was before.

More than anything, I'm beyond grateful that he's eating. I don't even care that his meals are tiny and mostly consist of yogurt, fruit and rice, or that he has to be coaxed to eat, or that somebody often has to feed him. Anything's better than an NG tube.

Oh, and just in case you were wondering, Seiji was dead-on about the strawberry mochi. It did, in fact, turn out to be the thing that convinced Yuri to try taking one small bite of something. Seriously, never underestimate the power of desserts.

Now that I've mentioned Seiji, I should give you a little update on him, too. He ended up moving to the city after all, despite my best efforts at talking him into staying around.

You may have guessed the brilliant idea I had that day in the park was for Seiji to help take care of Yuri once he was released from the hospital. I thought it was a stroke of genius. It'd give Seiji a purpose and a reason not to leave, and it'd avoid the necessity of having a stranger look after Yuri while he's recovering. Unfortunately, neither Seiji nor Yuri went for it. That's not to say we didn't ultimately solve the problem anyway, but I'll tell you more about that in a minute.

The last I heard from Seiji, he'd gotten a job in a convenience store, just like he predicted he would. I'm not sure he's entirely happy with it, but he didn't seem happy here any more either, so I guess he might as well be unhappy with a change of scenery. I'd much rather he was happy, of course, but I have no control over that. Happiness is an inside job, after all. We each have to get into the mindset of choosing happiness for ourselves.

As for me, I can honestly say I'm happy in spite of everything. Setbacks notwithstanding, the future’s looking good for Yuri and me.

In light of Dr. Sato's prognosis for my recovery and my ability to return to competitive snowboarding, I got in contact with Luke Smith, my former coach back home to see whether he'd consider taking me on as a student again. He said he couldn't do it, but he told me that he had the perfect person in mind for me to train with, and when he told me who it was, I might've shouted a little bit with excitement.

Apparently one of my former teammates, Davey Duke — or Daisy, as everyone calls him — is planning to retire at the end of this season, but is looking to stay actively involved with the sport. Daisy and I were always great friends, and we've kept in sporadic contact since I've been in Japan. Also, the guy's a freakin' rockstar. Having him for a coach, I'd be the envy of pretty much every other competitor in the sport.

Luke said he'd pitch the idea to Daisy and get back to me, but as it happened, I didn't have to wait for Luke. Within two hours of that conversation with my old coach, I had a text from Daisy that was in all caps with a huge string of exclamation marks. "YES, MY DUDE!!!!!! LET'S DO IT!!!!!!!"

That matter having been unequivocally taken care of, Yuri and I have turned our attention to planning our move at the end of May. The goal is to be there and settled in well before Mom and Julian's wedding on the eleventh of June. We officially made an offer on the haunted house, which was quickly accepted, and we’ve transferred our down payment.

We’d been hoarding money for that down payment since the house went on the market, and we’re kinda broke now until Yuri gets next month’s allowance from his trust fund, but I can live with it. I’ve been broke before and survived.

One of the lawyers at Uncle Stephen's firm is dealing with all the legal details of the house purchase for us, which is a huge relief. An even bigger relief is that Uncle Stephen is personally handling Yuri's immigration paperwork, and he's waiving his fees.

In related news, I'm still debating with myself what to do about school. I've almost entirely made up my mind that I'm going to study nursing, but I'm waiting for my next appointment with Dr. Ishida before I commit to that choice completely. Dr. Ishida's pronouncement about my ability to read having more to do with my vision than my intelligence is still sinking in, and I want to get my glasses and be sure I actually can read as well as she thinks I can before I sign myself up for a course with lots of required reading.

The other thing I have to decide is if I'm going to try to start school this September or if I'm going to defer my studies for a year. I think it might be difficult to do a course with a clinical component while I'm competing. I'd have to travel for competitions, but I'd also have to prioritize my clinical placements, and since it's impossible to be in two places at once, I'd have to pick one. I think that'd be a less than ideal situation.

Meanwhile, Yuri has decided to take a leave of absence from his job at FutureBright Communications. His boss, Mr. Tanaka, assured him that he could still work remotely even if he was living in Canada, but Dr. Kasongo suggested that it'd be in his best interests not to work at all for a while. She thinks it makes more sense to focus on his health without having to cope with the pressure and stress of work.

Yuri resisted at first, but I think Mr. Tanaka might've guided him toward seeing reason. I know he really trusts and respects Mr. Tanaka, and I think the promise that there'd still be a job for him when he's ready to come back to work helped.

The human resources lady from FutureBright phoned here a few days ago to fill out the paperwork for short-term disability insurance benefits with him. He'll be covered for six months, which will get him through the spring and summer, and then they'll revisit the claim in early September to see if it'll need to be renewed for a further six months or if he can return to his job.

Personally, I think this is the perfect arrangement. Who wouldn't want a free summer in Willow Creek, with a percentage of their pay still coming in? Yuri can devote his time to getting healthy and doing things he enjoys, and when I'm not busy with work or training, we'll be able to go on all kinds of awesome adventures together. I'm really looking forward to that.

Another thing both Yuri and I are looking forward to is having Takahiro and Fox join us in Willow Creek this summer. Fox is from the Willow Creek-Newcrest area, and when his visa expires at the beginning of August he'll be returning, and he's bringing Taka with him.

Normally, one might expect that they'd stay with Fox's parents, but apparently the Abbottsfords dislike "foreigners" and have some sort of weird moral objection to the fact that their son is in a relationship with a man. They sound like totally charming people, right?

According to Taka, Fox's father hasn’t even spoken to him since November, which utterly blows my mind. My mom and I would be beside ourselves if we were out of contact for more than a day or two, much less for whole months at a stretch. Even when Yuri's relationship with his dad was at its worst, they still spoke to each other every couple of weeks.

Just as an aside, Yuri talks to his dad daily now, and sometimes multiple times a day. I love to see how much closer they're growing lately, and it almost makes me sad that we're moving because it means Yuri won't get to spend as much time with him. But, like Mr. Okamoto has assured us, they'll come and visit and they can certainly still find ways to talk every day.

Anyway, in light of all the racist and homophobic nonsense with Fox's parents, Yuri and I have already agreed that Fox and Taka can stay with us if they want to, until they find a place of their own. The haunted house has a couple of extra bedrooms in the basement, so they can have whichever one of those isn't Sachiko's room.

Yeah, Sachiko the ghost has decided to remain in the house. Robert and Kim MacAllister, the current owners, told us that they offered to bring her home to Mt. Komorebi, but she wanted to stay and see what it'd be like to share a home with people her own age.

That was kind of funny to me. I mean, Kim and Robert are in their early seventies, and as far as they can determine, Sachiko died about seventy-five years ago, so they're technically closer to her age than we are. Still, I get what she meant. She was in her early twenties when she died, and Yuri and I are in our mid-twenties now, so there's a certain logic to her choice.

Robert and Kim explained that they bought Sachiko a flower-arranging station, and decorated a bedroom for her, and even set a place at the table for her at mealtimes. Being a ghost, Sachiko doesn't need to eat or sleep, but they wanted to help her feel like part of the family. Yuri and I are planning to continue with that, so of course we can't give away her bedroom, even if she doesn't actually sleep in it.

Now, the only hurdle left to face is how we're going to break the news to Taka that our haunted house literally is haunted. Up to this point, he's seemed to think it's some kind of elaborate joke. He's not a big fan of the paranormal, and I think he might not want to stay with us when he finally grasps the fact that Sachiko is real.

But, we'll cross that bridge when we come to it, as my grandpa Michael likes to say. We'll certainly have plenty of opportunity to address the subject, since we've been seeing a lot more of Taka and Fox lately.

And why is that, you ask? Seiji may not have bought into my plan to help take care of Yuri, but Fox and Taka did. Or more specifically, Fox did, and because he already has his partner wrapped firmly around his little finger, our dear friend Takahiro is along for the proverbial ride.

I'd like to take full credit for planning our circumstances to evolve this way, but I can't. In reality, Fox volunteered for the job and Yuri, perhaps concluding that we didn't have a lot of viable options, accepted his offer.

It happened a few days before Yuri got out of the hospital. I was there with him when Fox and Taka showed up for a visit. Yuri hadn’t been very talkative. He'd had a bad morning and really didn't want to do anything except be cuddled, but that hadn't put Taka and Fox off. They seemed happy enough to sit there and chat with me.

Fox was excited because he's learning to drive and would be getting his learner's permit soon. He happily declared that there'd be no stopping him once he had his own wheels, whereupon Taka emphasized the need for his own, because he certainly wasn't going to be driving Yuzu. Oh... If no one's mentioned it before, Taka has this SUV that he and Seiji painted an absolutely eye-popping shade of yellow. He calls it Yuzu, after the fruit, and I'm reasonably certain it's his most prized possession.

Meanwhile, Taka was excited because he just finished his first study module in language school. He only started taking English classes at the language school in January, so I felt like his achievement was impressive, and told him so. His English was okay to begin with, but it's improved by leaps and bounds since he started his course. He confided that he wants to get as much learning in as possible before the summer, because he wants to take the immigration language test so he can apply for a study permit and go to college in Canada.

"Looks like you've got a busy spring, then," I remarked.

"Yeah," Taka agreed. "Because I has big plans."

"I have plans," Fox corrected him, and they both laughed.

"I have plans," Taka repeated dutifully. "Why is that one so hard?"

"You'll get it," Fox said. "Don't worry. You're already so much further ahead than you were when we met."

"Because I practice with you. You're the best teacher I... has." As if the deliberate pause wasn't enough to signal that he'd used the wrong verb tense on purpose this time, Taka bestowed his partner with a cheeky little grin. "Best ever."

That caused Fox to blush an extreme shade of pink, and brought about my turn to laugh. "Anybody ever tell you guys how cute you are?"

"Everyone. All the time," Taka answered cheerfully.

Fox looked flustered, and mumbled something in Japanese that sounded like. "New topic. Begging you."

Taka looked amused. "Now who's showing his good language skills?"

"Maybe we do need a new topic, before Fox starts looking for a place to hide," I said.

"Okay," Taka agreed. "I know when to stop. We can talk about you instead. You're going to Canada before us."

"Yeah, at the end of May, but we've got to get back on our feet and make it through the rest of the winter and the spring, first. One thing at a time, right, Yuri?"

Yuri stirred slightly in my arms and said quietly, "I guess."

"Are you going home soon, Yuri?" Fox asked.

When he didn't reply after several seconds, I said, "His doctor says he can go home in a few days, but she won't release him until we sort out who's going to be looking after him."

"Won't his parents do it?" Taka asked.

"They will, but they can't be with us the whole time," I gestured vaguely with one of my casted arms. "And there's a lot I still can't do, so I'm going to need some help too."

"What exactly do you need?" Fox asked. "Is it like, actual medical stuff, or more like someone to help around the house?"

"The only medical thing would be to make sure Yuri takes his medication when he's supposed to," I said. "But, I can still manage that myself. It's the other stuff that we need help with."

"I could do it," he said.

I wasn't quite sure I'd heard him correctly. "You... what?"

"I could help you, and I'll bet Auntie Keiko would help too, if you asked her."

"I think she would," Taka said. "We can ask."

"You can help too, Takahiro," Fox added.

Taka hadn't appeared to mind being drafted by his boyfriend. "Yes, when I'm not at work."

"Perfect," Fox said. "Victor, even if Auntie can't help, you'll have Taka on Fridays and Sundays if you need him, and I'll be glad to come to your house every day and do what I can."

"You know what you'd be getting into, right?" I asked. "You'd be doing almost everything until I get at least one of these casts off."

"I understand."

As grateful as I was for his offer, I needed to make sure he really did understand. Being able to see properly again, I was able to do a lot more for myself than I could before. I was getting pretty good at using just my fingers to do quite a few things, and I was feeling comfortable picking up lighter objects like dishes or dog toys or laundry, but without the use of my thumbs, there were still plenty of tasks that were outside my ability.

"When I say everything, I mean literally everything," I said. "That'd include personal care, so uh... there'd be kinda gross stuff involved."

Fox laughed. "Are you trying to discourage me?"

"I'm not trying to discourage you. I just don't want you to agree to something without knowing exactly what you'd be in for."

"Thanks." Fox's determination was evident on his face. "I appreciate that, but I can do it."

Taka reached for Fox's hand, and the smile he gave him practically glowed with pride. "You are amazing. You wouldn't have done that before."

"I've learned a lot from you and your parents and Jin," Fox said. "Turns out, I'm capable of a lot more than I ever gave myself credit for, and I'm not scared to challenge myself any more. Plus, remember what you told me when we first met?"

"I told you a lot of stuff," Taka said.

"Yes, but I'm talking about what you said about kindness. You said the best way to repay you for your kindness to me would be for me to pay it forward to someone else some day."

"Right. I remember."

"Well," Fox said. 'I guess this is the day."

I glanced down at Yuri, who was curled tightly against my chest and clearly doing his best not to listen to the conversation. "Hey," I said softly. "Would you be okay with that? With Fox looking after you?"

He nodded and practically whispered. "I... I think I'd be okay with that."

I'm not sure Yuri was entirely relieved, but I can assure you I was. The issue of whether or not we'd need somebody from the home healthcare program had been a big one for us, and something I was glad we no longer had to think about.

Although I felt confident the home care workers were well-trained and trustworthy, my opinion would've made very little difference if Yuri was too scared to have them in the house. Being in constant fear wouldn't help his recovery. And yeah, it'd be easy to say his fear was irrational or unjustified, but given his physical condition as well as his past trauma, I'd tend to disagree. I mean, if I were in his place, I think I'd be scared to let a stranger into my house too, never mind letting them do personal stuff for me.

At least Fox was a known quantity. To be fair, we didn't know him all that well yet, but based on my acquaintance with him up to that point, I was satisfied that he would handle Yuri with care. Besides, I reminded myself, Takahiro's parents trust him to continue to live in their home and not cause any trouble, and apparently Taka's sister Aiko trusts him enough to ask him to babysit her three year old son. I reasoned that if he could manage looking after little Toshiro with no mishaps, then he should be able to handle looking after an adult.

[riverkaplan]

OC questionnaire tag

thanks for tagging me @wiredhouse!

Filling this out for my protagonists for How Not To Fall For Your Roommate!

What is something you can't give up?

Jasper: Iced coffee. If I haven't had at least three cups by noon know that it's a cry for help and you should call my therapist.

Moises: I don't think I could ever give up living by the ocean. My favorite poem is Neruda's El Mar and he writes, "necesito del mar porque me enseña", "I need the sea because it teaches me", which is very true, the water has so much to tell us about life. Whenever I feel down or lost or just want to scream, I can always drive out to the sound or the ocean and just lose myself in the sound of the water and know that everything is going to be okay because the world is so much bigger than I am.

How do you like to spend your free time?

Jasper: I probably spend, like, too much time on Tik Tok and Instagram looking at videos and thirst-following cute guys. When I'm not doing that I really like looking through old books and old maps, especially anything to do with local history, and I'd be totally lost if I didn't have my besties to hang out with.

Moises: Well, um, to be honest I spend most of my time studying. I'm pretty obsessed with marine biology, but school still wasn't ever something that really came naturally to me... I mean, I can talk your ear off about estuarine ecosystems for hours but tests are a lot harder than that, so I always feel like I need to work to do well. When I'm not studying, though, I love going on nature walks or watching anime. Ponyo is my comfort movie.

Where do you see yourself in ten years?

Jasper: Ideally married to some dark, handsome man living out our storybook romance far, far away from the town I grew up. I'm working a remote job that pays a lot but doesn't require me to do anything more complicated than send emails so I can spend most of my time planning our next foreign vacation and having elaborate brunches.

Moises: In ten years... I'm finally out on my own. I've just completed my PhD, I'm on track to get a job as a researcher at a good school, and I'm finally in a place where my parents can't tell me how to live my life, can't fuck up my schooling, can't kick me out. Maybe then I'll finally feel like I can live my life, like I can come out, like I can look for love.

Thanks again for the tag! I'm tagging in @kaylinalexanderbooks @starchilddante and @thestorywitch

Your questions are:

If you could only wear one outfit for the rest of your life, what would it be?

Who's the person you trust more than anyone else in the world?

What's your dream job?

[nalyra-dreaming]

Yes, please post the passage of them just watching TV together! I'd love it so much and would be so grateful. Thank you! I live for all your posts!

💕 Here, from "The tale of the Body Thief":

When I came upon him, all the windows and doors were open to the few simple rooms. He was at his desk, reading by the light of a single candle flame.

For a long moment, I spied upon him. I loved to do this. Often I followed him when he went hunting, simply to watch him feed. The modern world doesn't mean anything to Louis. He walks the streets like a phantom, soundlessly, drawn slowly to those who welcome death, or seem to welcome it. (I'm not sure people really ever welcome death.) And when he feeds, it is painless and delicate and swift. He must take life when he feeds. He does not know how to spare the victim. He was never strong enough for the "little drink" which carries me through so many nights; or did before I became the ravenous god.

His clothes are old-fashioned always. As so many of us do, he finds garments which resemble the styles of his time in mortal life. Big loose shirts with gathered sleeves and long cuffs please him, and tight-fitting pants. When he wears a coat, which is seldom, it is fitted like the ones I choose-a rider's jacket, very long and full at the hem.

I bring him these garments sometimes as presents, so that he doesn't wear his few acquisitions right to rags. I had been tempted to straighten up his house, hang the pictures, fill the place with finery, sweep him up into heady luxury the way I had in the past.

I think he wanted me-to do this, but he wouldn't admit it. He existed without electricity, or modern heat, wandering in chaos, pretending to be wholly content.

Some of the windows of this house were without glass, and only now and then did he bolt the old-fashioned louvered shutters. He did not seem to care if the rain came in on his possessions because they weren't really possessions. Just junk heaped here and there.

But again, I think he wanted me to do something about it. It's amazing how often he came to visit me in my overheated and brilliantly illuminated rooms downtown. There he watched my giant television screen for hours. Sometimes he brought his own films for it on disk or tape. The Company of Wolves, that was one which he watched over and over. Beauty and the Beast, a French film by Jean Cocteau, also pleased him mightily. Then there was The Dead, a film made by John Huston from a story by James Joyce. And please understand this film has nothing to do with our kind whatsoever; it is about a fairly ordinary group of mortals in Ireland in the early part of this century who gather for a convivial supper on Little Christmas night. There were many other films which delighted him. But these visits could never be commanded by me, and they never lasted very long. He often deplored the "rank materialism" in which I "wallowed" and turned his back on my velvet cushions and thickly carpeted floor, and lavish marble bath. He drifted off again, to his forlorn and vine-covered shack.

and:

I slipped into the room, a great glancing shadow, and was already seated in my favorite red velvet bergere- I'd long ago brought it there for myself-opposite him when he looked up.

I highlighted a few passages, because there is a lot in these little paragraphs^^.

Louis comes by, whenever he wants, and only when he wants. He watches movies with Lestat, over and over again (and the stories of these movies are interesting, too^^). Louis has his own movies that he brings to watch with Lestat. Lestat buys him clothes. Lestat has an armchair there where he likes to sit. :)) He watches him feed, and also comes by when he wants. :)

And then, of course, right after these passages... is this:

His beauty has always maddened me. I think I idealize him in my mind when I'm not with him; but then when I see him again I'm overcome.

I know this book isn't for everyone... but there are some very, very beautiful passages in this book (this is far from all) for them :)) And I really want to see them on screeeeeeeen :)))))

[ofpineapplesanddawns]

Peter and Martin argueing over who is whose sugar daddy, both convinced the other is the sugar baby, happily twisting definitions to be right. Ideally this takes place while naked or in bed, though they do not need to acknowledge this in any way

I am just... obsessed with the idea of the sugar daddy and sugar baby dynamic between them because they're both just the worst about it.

Warning: idiots in bed

On with the fic!

--

"Look at this." Peter frowned, holding up a sock. "Ugly, boring, not fit enough to be used as a sock puppet!"

"It's my sock, you silly man." Martin snatched it from him, tossing it over his shoulder. "It does its job of covering my feet, and really now, that should be the last thing on your mind. Don't ruin the afterglow."

"No, I'm gonna ruin it!" Peter kicked his feet, probably doing so to be a brat about things. "It was right next to my head the whole time we were goin' at it, and I just... come on! Wear something with color! White and gray? Nah! I'm buyin' you some new shit, totally in cool colors and styles."

He grabbed his phone. "Hell, let's do it now. While I'm at it, let's get you some better clothes."

"What's wrong with my clothes?" Martin frowned, sitting up. He could see his plaid button up hanging from a mounted jackalope skull Peter had on the wall of his bedroom, must have snagged an antler when it got tossed aside. "And stop buying me things, I do have money."

"Look, big guy, the mountain man thing can be hot, but you need a more fittin' style for this place. You stand out like a sore thumb, and that's sayin' somethin'." Peter said as he tapped away at his phone. "And I'm gonna do whatever I want with my money, I'm richer than you."

"I have money."

"And so do I. 'sides, I'm totally your sugar daddy." Peter snorted, then stopped. "No, wait, sugar baby, yeah? I mean, look at you, you're totally a dilf." He winked.

Martin rolled his eyes. "I don't know what that is."

"Dad I'd Like to Fu-"

"Which you've clearly done." Martin gestured to their current location and state of undress, which got Peter cackling. "And if you're a sugar baby, that means I'm the one who pays for things."

"Nuh-uh! A sugar baby is the younger in the relationship, and I've got the money!"

"Just because I was locked away for twenty years does not mean I don't know my terminology, Peter. I am very aware that a sugar baby can be older than the daddy."

"Nuh-uh!"

"Yeah-huh, you little punk. Considering you are insistent on paying for everything, I am, technically, the sugar baby in this relationship."

Peter sat up, huffing. "Please, baby is the last thing anyone is gonna call you."

"You call me that when you're drunk and needy."

"Details, details!" Peter waved a hand about, looking embarrassed. "Fine, if you are so insistent on being the daddy, you pay for things for me."

"You won't let me!"

The actor moved to sit on Martin's lap. "Cause you don't know shit about the modern world, it's so much easier for me to navigate the internet than you."

"I know how to shop in a physical store." Martin, once more, rolled his eyes. "You're just too lazy to venture outside."

"Vegas' sun is dangerous to my poor, British skin, I'll burn in just a matter of minutes."

"Remind me why I'm living with you again?"

"Cause you like me, daddy~!" Peter winked, his grin was of the shit-eating variety. Martin shoved him off his lap.

There was a shout of protest and flailing limbs, Martin snorted. "Again, technically, I'm the sugar baby. Unless if you want me to be your sugar daddy." He growled, smirking, as he moved to crawl over Peter.

"I could pay for things, from my secret accounts of saved up rich doctor's money, and all the stuff I've had set aside my associates for a second life. You'd look so good in new clothes and jewelry bought by a man with dirty money, eh?"

Peter stared at him with wide, bright eyes. "Uhhh... I'd totally let you be the sugar daddy if you keep talkin' like that, big guy."

"That's what I thought." And he leaned in to ravish Peter's mouth, winning the argument before Peter could find some other reason to get his definitions messed up.

--

I am still under the impression that Peter thinks the labels are age-based, and not who actually has the money.

It was weird to write a character calling another 'daddy', not gonna lie, but it seems like something Peter would do, haha.