#but in a much more obligatory way
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Sometimes I kinda feel like my mom’s emotional support animal
#her coworker’s daughter died a few days ago#obviously very very traumatizing for the girl’s mother#and I could kinda just tell my mom was thinking about what it would be like to lose my brother or I#anyways she asked if I wanted to go to the memorial service with her a few days ago(service was today)#I didn’t really know the girl- we had met once or twice at our parents’ work parties#but that’s about it#but I went for my mom anyways#I dunno it feels like I just comfort her more often than she comforts me#mostly becauss I avoid going to my mom for literally anything like it’s the plague#but still#I think my mom loves who she thinks I am#but I don’t know that she actually loves my actual gay little self#I think she would#but in a much more obligatory way#I dunno#I’ll probably need therapy in a few years#we’ll see lol#vent post#just in case
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Obsessed with what America and England have going on in HetaOni. America's like "I keep having to watch my dad die from overusing his magic in past timelines and not knowing how to stop it is killing me inside but I'm not going to talk to him about it" and England's like "I can't seem to hold a conversation with my son without insulting him but I won't hesitate to use my dying breath to ensure I can protect him from beyond the grave"
#good morning i still have hetaoni on the brain#that scene where it looks like america's going to die but turns out past loop england used the last of his strength to cast a shield on him#(+italy and germany) before sending them back to the present.... godddd#and then current loop england goes and takes on the monster america was worried about and succeeds. at the cost of going blind.#one of the very things america was afraid would happen!! he was so relieved when england survived the fight before finding that out too!!!#i don't know if this is coherent im just. they care about each other so much even though they won't say it and 😭😭😭 it makes me ill#sigh. rotating both them and hetaoni in my mind at the same time makes me so. waaughh#(also obligatory disclaimer that hetaoni doesn't label their relationship in any way them being father and son is just canon in my brain)#hetalia#hetaoni#hws america#hws england#tea dad n coffee son#personal#i have an old hetaoni wip fic that i think i intended to do more with but was mostly just about america and england as far as i got...#i can't remember the rest of my plans for it so maybe i'll shift the focus to them and try to get it finished sometime
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Thinking about Jon mourning his relationship with Elias and doing it alone.
Thinking about Jon having so many little fond memories of Elias. Discussions with him when he still worked in research. Little bickering arguments from when Jon was first promoted. His fondness for scheduling. Thinking about Jon missing those times so much that it aches. Thinking about Jon mourning the person he thought he knew, the person he did know, the connection they always had. When Elias is in prison and won't even see him. When Elias is in the panopticon above the world, far away from Jon. Thinking about Jon still caring about Elias, missing him despite everything.
Jon would have all those little memories of Elias, I think. And he would pick over them, and wonder which ones were real (all of them, in a way), and which ones were lies (all of them, in a way). And he would never be able to say anything. Because he's the only one who ever had that connection to Elias, and by the time Elias is out of Jon's reach nobody who would understand is left.
Just. Just thinking of Jon mourning his relationship with Elias, and having to do it alone.
#and of course the connection is still /there/. but its so complicated now#weighed down by hurt and horror and the knowledge of how deep it truly goes#just about everyone else would probably have much more straightforward and negative feelings about elias#which makes sense#but i think it means that jon would be alone here#fearing (justly or not) that if he expressed any of the complexity of what he felt about elias that he would be judged#ok?#(also obligatory no j//mart please and thank you)#intended as#jonelias#but you could read it other ways if you want#i think elias was something of a mentor figure to jon. someone he respected and looked up to#even if they bickered over how the institute handled lietners and suchlike.#and i think jon should sit in his office and wallow in his memories of the past#i also think jon had a very embarrassing crush but that's not the main thing here really#I hope this makes sense?#ngl every time I post about them I worry that i’m spouting fake pretentious nonsense and have also misunderstood the podcast and characters
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it's been a bit funny to me the couple of times i've seen people suggest that grantaire actually did do what he was assigned in 4.1.6, bc after all we only see enjolras's perspective on it for like a minute. theoretically that's plausible but come on let's be serious for a moment
#txt#les mis#ive been meaner than usual recently about exr so obligatory disclaimer that im very much just as obsessed with them as everyone else#as you can tell from my url#this is both more plausible and more compelling to me#like ive seen ppl suggest that actually enjolras is too harsh on grantaire & the fact that he plausibly could have done as asked shows that#but actually enjolras could stand to be way harsher. grantaire certainly thinks so
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I know my ass says this every time there’s a new season but god DAMN, heartstopper is such a good show for teenagers
#the klock keeps ticking#heartstopper#and also before i go on my ramble let me get my obligatory angy moment out of the way#i wish aled was in the show im never gonna be over this i think isaac is turning out great but like#every time i see him it just feels so wrong lol its like. WHERES MY BOY WHERES MY GUY RADIOOOO#okay anyways#i only watched the first 2 episodes of s3 but damn its just like so good at the tone#so good at being sweet but serious when it needs to be#so good at showing healthy communication methods in a way teenagers can practice#and just like saying that hey. your partner is struggling with something and you arent responsible for fixing them cuz you literally cannot#do that and you are literally 16 theyre gonna need much more than this#and this is a part of growing up and having your relationships mature like you will have to go through shit like this together sometimes#and its a lot but you can still show love and support without straining yourself it just takes practice and patience#im so glad a show like this exists for teenagers cuz damn i havent seen anything be this good for that specific demographic in uh#like ever? something thats so good at acknowledging that teenagers have these problems or drink or have sex#without doing some euphoria bullshit#just tows the line so well
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No no, I don't think sex is bad because it's evil and dangerous, I'm not a puritan. I think sex is bad because its something men like to do, because they're evil and dangerous. Completely different.
#spitblaze says things#obligatory </joke>#some of u jumped ship directly from christianity to leftism without taking the time to deconstruct#what exactly the issues with your christian upbringing are#like just forget 'men and masculinity are not inherently evil and i dont mean in an mra way i mean check urself for terf brainworms'#for a second.#its fine to want sex. its fine to NOT want sex. neither is a more morally or ethically pure stance than the other. its personal preference#wanting to have sex is about as ethically dubious as having a favorite color. relax#nobody did anything lol i saw a post lamenting the anti-sex sentiments in a lot of online wlw spaces#and how much of it is bc 'it makes me no better than a man' as if that means anything#ladies. go cruise at lesbian bars. its fine. be free#anyway if a terf/swerf rbs this in complete seriousness im gonna kill everyone here and then myself#just kidding. im only gonna kill the terf
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the sigma males that worship patrick bateman couldnt possibly imagine the ways a cluster b baddie relates to him
#this ones gonna get me cancelled!#actually cluster b#npd#actually npd#npd safe#Obligatory statement that i say this not to idealize him or whatever#I'm well aware that he is NOT in any way shape or form a character you should be sympathizing with#And that in itself makes it so much more relatable#actually narcissistic#npd posting#bangers
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annnnnnnnd qsmp mostly purgatory cause i was doodiling through every charlie slimecicle vod for those as i caught up lmao
#again these are only the ones that passed the cringe test i have older stuff#i was way more invested in the qsmp in the early days but i still watched every charlie stream so i have soooo many gaps in my qsmp knowled#also obligatory fuck cc wilbur soot#which sucks cause i had fun thinking about his qsmp character even though he showed up like twice#your honor i had head canons and i had fun with them and i don’t usual let myself play w that shit that much#qsmp fanart#qsmp slimecicle#THE FORTNITE ONE IS KINDA SORTA RELATED LMAO#it’s when he played fortnite w tubbo on tubbos alt after a purgatory stream#I DO HAVE SOME QSMP ON IPAD THOUGH SO I HAVE MORE#and i read a starcicle fic that i saw a mutual recommend and became enamored w it so that’s very possible that i might do something there#esp cause i don’t think? i’ve draw etoiles??? which is a crime????#and idk the vines and cucumber and stars idk my brain keeps thinking about them design wise even though im very late and also shit at#doing character design#but that’s what practice is for i guess lmao
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atp i will straight up block people who villainize trapper for leaving like way to show how little you understand what the show is about
#THE WHOLE POINT IS HOW BAD THEY ALL DON'T WANT TO BE THERE#the note thing gets overblown but at least that's a Reason to be mad#but the number of people i've seen who straight up seem to believe the problem is that he left at all#as if there wasn't A WHOLE FUCKING EPISODE ABOUT HOW THRILLED HAWKEYE WAS WHEN HE THOUGHT TRAPPER WOULD GET TO GO HOME#also. put your doylist hats on for a moment please wayne left the show between seasons there was only so much they could do with him#it's so obvious that these people are primarily b//jhawk shippers that don't actually give a shit about the first three seasons#and to them trapper only exists so bj can swoop in to replace him#sorry i give more weight to the way he's actually characterized while he's. y'know. on screen#obligatory there's no Wrong Way to enjoy a show you don't have to love him or the early seasons#but 'fuck trapper for going home' is a SHOCKINGLY common take and it drives me batty#at least hate him for the right reasons#i think this sort of goes hand in hand with the woobification of hawkeye but that's a whole other can of worms#mash#my posts
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"yes im so fine"
*researches whether i can get my hands on ipecac*
#tw ed#obligatory MASSIVE do not do this#straight up poison that can kill you from one (1) time#used to be used to induce vomiting#directly the cause of death of karen carpenter and countless others#i wont i swear i wont#but i still researched it bc i was curious#tbh there are easier ways of poisoing oneself than semi illegal drugs#also if yall remember the post about a poison i own: i did more reseach and while that amount would probably kill me w no medical#intervention; it would take just under three times as much to be absolutely certain of hitting the toxic dose (calculated quantity per kg#of the top end of a given range. so it could kill me but if i was gonna go out that way id want about three times as much to be sure.)#honestly surprised ive never heard of any deaths from it. the most likely way to survive would be to throw it up i think#(or present to hospital and take charcoal or smth)#honestly though. my research says loss of consciousness and required intubation within half an hour in case studies#hence if you werent in reach of medical attention youd probably collapse an die#and i am very deliberately NOT mentioning what it is bc of how toxic it is#ive thought of combining it and another method to be absolutely sure but eh#honestly if it DIDNT work it sounds straight up embarrassing to admit to people tho thats one of the things stopping me#but literally a dose in a child requiring intubation and kid ended up in a coma recovered w no ill effects.#thats the dream yk. try and succeed and youre free; try and fail and you see no ill effects.#but yeah i wouldnt try w only the amount i have.#so im safe#....rereading the above. okay i might be a little mentally ill lol#but i am safe and absolutely nobody call the cops on me.#im fine.#tw suicide#puddleglum hours#nobody worry abt me ok. im fine.#just thinking silly lil thoughts like usual :)#EDIT: just occurred to me that using this poison could make it not look like a suicide
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Jacob Elordi and Margot Robbie as Heathcliff and Cathy seems like out of The Onion
#Who knows maybe they'll be amazing like how Tom Hardy is able to pull being an amazing Heathcliff#But I doubt it I've never been into any of their roles much idk#And also#Couldn't they just#Even if they were amazing#Couldn't they just cast amazing people that actually fit the air vibes and look of the characters?#And not just some actors that are popular at the moment of the process of filming?#Besides very popular actors playing very popular characters is always ALWAYS wrong#I don't understand at all#And in 2024 year of our lord or whatever how do you cast a white man as Heathcliff? With all the significance it has?#Have you read the book or only wikiquote?#I think Jacob Elordi is a better fit than some others before him. At least he has some charm and you could believe he could throw a punch#But. Couldn't they just. Cast a man that also has physical presence but that fits the description of the book#and is not the pretty boy of the moment? It's detrimental for such an iconic character that the actor is that well known#and Heathcliff being non white is key. How do you mess that up every time ahfkabdkskd or#This will sprout more obligatory Dev Patel fancast and I don't want to see that either#Dev Patel is also famous and doesn't fit Heathcliff at all in vibes or looks. He is lanky and soft faced#Those fancasts always sit so wrong on me#Won't even talk about Margot Robbie as Cathy. The vibes are all wrong. She could have been Catherine Linton perhaps when she was twenty#But as Cathy? Cathy Earnshaw? All the wrong vibes#Truly like out of The Onion what is this mess#I talk too much#I should probably delete this later#Weren't they going to make an East of Eden adaptation that also had Famous Actress of the Moment as Cathy Ames?#Why do they always do that? Don't they know it's always shit? ahfkabdkskd#Why do the Dev Patel fancasts sit wrong on me? Because they feel lazy and kinda racist#You know one very famous non black actor of colour and cast him as Heathcliff. Come on. There's more people in the world#There's more actors of colour. There's more Indian actors. Many of them must be amazing and many of them are not famous#and many of them must resemble Heathclif's air and looks way more than Patel. Who is amazing but is not a good choice here#Tbh WH fancasts always kinda give 'Jacob Elordi and Margot Robbie as Heathcliff and Cathy' to me haha
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I’m making a callout post for galdera what the fuck is this
#obligatory slash j#context I tried fighting galdera (8path 2) again and lasted MUCH longer than usual#but also the longer I went the more and also way LESS possible it seemed#calc rambles#calc gaming#octopath traveler 2 spoilers
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Low-effort bishop doodle compilation as the brainrot continues
below... a saga.....
#agent bishop#tmnt 2003#teenage mutant ninja turtles#love making fun of the old man#ofc all the actual good finished pieces I try to make of him give me so much trouble#and then I doodle warmups and they end up way more on-model smh#anyway obligatory help girl I'm spiraling into an obsessive tailspin
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one thing that becomes clearer the older i get is that of the many bad things of varying degrees that have happened to me, both internally and externally, nothing has had as profound and persistent a traumatic effect as *checks notes* Going To School In America
#like. there are many things. that have happened. that are Much More Easily Recognized As Traumatic#that i can talk about way more easily and actively enjoy engaging with in media.#and then someone in a piece of media Doesnt Have A Class Assignment Done On Time and i'm like.#oh god i have to tap out immediately and also that's my whole day gone essentially#SIGH#about the possum#delete later#idk. just in case#(also obligatory disclaimer i dont know whether The Problem I Have would have resulted in Less Trauma in Other Countries School Systems)#and for the aforementioned reasons i will. simply not be investigating the subject. so
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Damn I really gaslit myself into thinking Gwen was a main main character bc I love her too much…
I was reading the tmagp wiki so that I can find out how to spell Sam’s name for a chat fic and read that Alice was the other main character aside from him
I completely thought Gwen was and even told other people she was…
I swear to all things holy and not if she fucking dies I will lose it
Please Jonny, Alex…
Please…
#the magnus protocol#tmagp#gwen bouchard#gwendolyn bouchard#I love Gwen so much#she’s so loser-core#but like less so than Jon#but more in a way I cannot explain#please don’t kill her#when she dies that is when I’ll start my obligatory denial of what is going on in the series
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What's your thoughts on Ray and Norman's conversation after the spy reveal, where Ray says Norman should've discarded him and Norman says he would've but Emma convinced him otherwise? Was Norman really going to do that? (sorry if you've already talked about it but I missed;;)
You're good! I talked about the framing of the end of the scene here forever ago in internet time, touch on it here as an add-on to a post regarding the false belief there was a rivalry founded on the basis of a classic love triangle inextricably integrated into the core of the narrative (i.e., Norman and Ray actually dislike each other because they're both vying for Emma's romantic affection), and a brief summary of those feelings in this paragraph from this post, so my thoughts on it are kind of scattered about lol
Ray knows Norman, knows his sense of rigid morality well enough to account for him discovering his alliance with Isabella and using that to his advantage, to further push Norman away so he’ll be more comfortable with using him (he even chides Norman for not keeping his original plan to do this a secret) and so his death will hurt him and Emma less. And for roughly the entire back half of October 2045, Norman did genuinely hate Ray for his betrayal in the same way he hated Isabella, his reaction so visceral at being deceived and hurt by people he had loved all his life. He would have been willing to sacrifice Ray if not for intervention from Emma, which opened him up to directly confronting Ray and, in turn, led him to discover Ray’s true motives. He was so humbled and taken aback by the depths of Ray’s love and loyalty he returned to his original categorization of him: a dear friend who needed to be saved from his intended fate in their cruel world. Even if saving him came at the cost of his own life; even if he desperately wanted to live.
So I do believe Norman would have done it given the circumstances, and that Ray was banking on him doing so if Norman suspected him of being the traitor (and from Ray's perspective, this was the more likely outcome because of how much stock he puts in Norman's intelligence).
It fits with Ray's meticulous planning, Norman's overall morality when left on his own at this point in his life plus his pride and ruthlessness, and the series' themes of redemption/second chances for those who genuinely work toward change and the positive influence of friendship/solidarity over isolation.
Upon discovering the truth of the house, Norman's first instinct is to grab Emma and Ray and get out of there.
His mind is absolutely fried by what's just taken place and its implications, and he's scrambling to come up with a plan, focusing on whatever he believes is still familiar and safe to ground himself so he can shake off the emotional and mental paralysis he's in. I love how both the manga and anime convey how shell-shocked he is with the weary lines under his eyes and the thousand-yard stare he's got going on as he's floating outside himself. It's all completely understandable.
This is one of my most-cited details about the anime taking advantage of the medium shift. Both Emma and Norman are completely shocked by Isabella being there, but it only takes Norman a second to shift between that initial shock to sorrow over realizing what it means that the woman who he’s viewed as his mother his entire life is here casually talking with demons and not recoiling in horror at what’s taken place. He genuinely loved her.
(Chapter 6)
It's part of why he reacts so viscerally to her betrayal, another being his pride taking a hit due to being outmaneuvered by her. He's scored perfect 300s on his test since the day he started taking them at four-years-old, the first child in the history of Grace Field ever to do so. While he's never haughty or smug over this, he does find comfort in his intelligence. This undermines him in a way that not only cuts him to the quick, but also puts his family at risk, and he's determined to come out on top in this game of high-stakes wits and save them.
(Chapter 10)
So after being dealt the crushing blow that Isabella was raising him and his siblings just to be food for demons, a few days later he's dealt another one when Krone's appearance leads him to instantly suspect Ray as the most probable and convenient informant for her. Ray was one of his two main pillars of strength he could fall back on in a time where his whole world has shifted beneath him. They had been together ever since he could remember, and he was disgusted with himself for even thinking Ray could do this. Like Isabella, he genuinely loved him too. In the face of the insurmountable conclusion he'd drawn, however, he couldn't ignore reality, not when the lives of Emma and his siblings hinged on him not making any more mistakes.
The revelation of this betrayal silently festers over the course of roughly two weeks. During that time, Ray even encourages Norman to be ruthless when dealing with his enemies.
(Chapter 7)
It doesn't take long for Norman to get on board.
(Chapter 9)
And while he ultimately comes to the conclusion that suppressing the adults is the better course of action,
(Chapter 10)
the poignancy of the fork symbolism is still there: stay vigilant, stay sharp, stay ruthless. Even if it means discarding one of your best friends once he's no longer useful in the escape plan. (I'll use this as an opportunity to plug one of my favorite pieces of art on the subject by @nekokat42. It's funny how over the course of the story, Norman ends up taking after Isabella the most out of the trio on this front.)
In the same way his categorization of Isabella has shifted in his mind, so too has his categorization of Ray, and he would have stayed there if Norman hadn't sought Emma's perspective on the matter. It parallels nicely to when she acts as his moral compass in chapter 1/episode 1.
Emma's automatic, genuine desire to save everyone quickly sobers him up from his stupor and his plan for just the three of them to escape. He's touched by this, her being far more selfless than him, and he silently chides himself for not even considering trying before resolving to make Emma's ideal outcome a reality.
(Chapter 13)
Emma reaffirms the importance of considering the nuance and material circumstances of their situation, what the logical fallout would be for the traitor if they were left behind during the escape, and the biggest thing for Norman, striving for better instead of settling for pragmatism when you still have the opportunity to effect change on the world around you and reach an outcome you'll be happier with.
(Chapter 14)
(Chapter 13)
Norman being willing to use and discard Ray makes the impact of him switching his stance on the matter and later realization of Ray's true motives hit harder while also providing a basis for his actions and beliefs during later arcs after he's been isolated from the positive influence of his family.
(The Good Place; borrowing because I like the conciseness and feel it's applicable to Norman, Ray, and Yuugo.)
With the way the final seconds of this sequence are framed in the anime—going from a shot of a giddy yet harried Norman to a self-chiding Ray to Eugene's drawing of a trio of children—I feel like they wanted to draw attention to this aspect of his realization more than chapter 14 did where Norman's more focused on what Ray's position as Isabella's spy affords the plan. Here it looks like he's taking in the full ramifications of the choice he would have made if he hadn't talked with Emma; a future where he threw away a dear friend who had made years of impossible decisions as Isabella's sheepdog and was willing to die so that they could have one, because for Ray it's always been about Emma and Norman. What once appeared to be a selfish choice to save his own skin was actually one born out of love and loyalty, and once again Norman is disgusted with himself over his presumptions and saddened by Ray's intention to die, though at this point he hasn't seen the lighter fluid stockpiled under Ray's bed, so he has yet to figure out how he plans to pull it off. It's an ache profound enough to leave him startled and reaching to cover his mouth in its wake. One that could possibly be prompted without Norman intending to discard Ray since on top of everything else already going on he's now aware Ray plans on killing himself, which is devastating, but I think it's more poignant if he was going to go through with it.
#The Promised Neverland#Yakusoku no Neverland#TPN#TPN S1#Escape Arc#TPN 013#TPN 014#TPN S1e01#TPN S1e05#Full Score Trio#TPN Norman#TPN Ray#Norman#Ray#Emma#Long Post#FSS Asks#FSS Chatter#Norray#Noremma#for tagging purposes#Read More#obligatory “People improve when they get external love and support. How can we hold it against them when they don't?” TGP quote#me when this is already a tag on here jkdfsh#we're going to sidestep how Ray's self-sacrifice is selfish in its own way for him avoiding the fallout of it by virtue of being dead#even if the younger kids are quick to forgive him in Ch38 so canon doesn't have him spend much time on it either explicitly
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