#but im honestly so happy writing all of this
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“you cant heal a bullet hole with a band aid”
summary: after Seattle you move to the farm to help ellie heal, yet she cant seem to let go.
pairings: mentally unstable!ellie x over caring!reader
contents: sfw? tlou au, no baby au, ellie isnt in a good place, ellie is an asshole, reader has no self respect, angst with some comfort. non sexual intimacy!
a/n: i had such high hopes for this and honestly its a bit shitty. i dont write angst. 🤷♀️
“Hey baby. How was hunting? Anything good?” The crease in your back straightens on impulse as you stand from the table. She stumbles through the door and kicks off her boots. Her eyes look down towards her feet. She ignores your first question and replies bluntly to the second.
“the usual.” good, this is good. some words are better than none.You help her out of her coat and hang it on the wrack. Her eyes meet yours for the first time in weeks, a cold no where behind them. The green looking into you. Her eyes flutter down your body and don’t leave, it’s almost judgmental look.
“Right. Uh- I made us dinner! You hungry?”
“You made dinner? You didn’t have to.” She sounds tired. So fucking tired. She plops down In the seat with a heavy sigh. She watched as you follow her to the table. “why’d you dress up?” She asks in her low voice.
you set her dish in front of her. “I dunno, wanted to look pretty. Is it too much?” You smooth out the nonexistent wrinkles in the fabric and flash her a cute toothy grin.
“yah, It’s not really ‘dinner-table-wear’, js wish you would’ve told me you were doing all this.” she sounds almost annoyed. Her voice laced with exhaustion. your smile slowly drops. ‘You can’t fix a bullet wound with a band aid’ you tell yourself again. Those words ring through your mind as you slide into the chair across from her. You just hum in response. Your girlfriend leaned back in her chair and folded her arms over one another. Her eyes fixed on you for a split moment before returning her gaze on the table. Another heavy sigh.
“look, im sorry. js tired i guess”
“yeah i know, i get it!! don’t be sorry..” you pick at your food mindlessly. Now it’s your turn to sigh. You grab her hand from across the table. Ellies eyes trace over your face, taking in all of you like she hasn’t in weeks. Her eyes trail down your eyebrows, to your nose, to your lips and back up again. Your grip on her hand tightens for a minute. She just looked at you for the first time again. For a brief moment everything’s okay. The sun shining through the sheer of the curtains, Joel in the next room playing guitar, your Ellie’s there giggling along with you, and the god forbidden name “Abby” doesn’t exist in your world. But of course that’s only for a moment.
“I didn’t mean to be like this, I’m just exhausted…”
“I know, I know baby. you still hungry? Or want me to run you a warm bath?” Her hand tightens in your own.
“A bath sounds nice.” She leans back in her chair again, your fingers searching for hers as soon as they’re gone.
“ok els, of course. Go change and I’ll run the bath.”
Ellie disappears into the bedroom, and you let the bath run as you clean up the forgotten dinner. Ellie’s finally speaking to you. Maybe a dinner wasn’t what she needed but just talking to you. You don’t even care about the dinner anymore, just happy your girl was looking at you again. Really looking at you. The dishes clank in the sink, & your humming the tune to a song stuck in your head.
“Bath ready?” Ellie’s deep voice spooks you. As you turn around Ellie’s in her sports bra and boxers. scars lace her body, enveloping the entirety of her. Her abs littered with battle wounds and bruises. A green and purple patch apparent on her lower abdomen. her body has been through so much. it pains you to see her like this. these scars aren’t something that go away. god these remind you too much of what happened in seattle. how serious her injuries were then. you told her they would leave scars. you knew they would leave scars, but i guess a part of you wished they wouldn’t. ellie didn’t deserve them. A frown tugs and your lips. She catches you staring and pulls the towel in her hands over her stomach.
“Yeah, should be. Tell me if it’s too hot okay?” without words she stalks to the bathroom.
you lean on the doorframe as you watch her undress. “Do u want me to join you? Or do you want to be alone right now my love?” Your tone is so soft, you speak to her as if she could break at any moment. because she could.
“Please don’t leave me alone.” She whispers.
“Ok baby. Of course. I’m here.” You slip off your clothes and slide into the tub & motion for Ellie to follow. She steps in and lays her back to your chest, sitting within your legs. The two of you lay in silence just enjoying each other’s presence. She speaks up after a moment.
“I’m sorry I’ve been such an asshole. I hate when I get like this.” there she is.
“I know, your going through a lot right now. It’s okay, I get it. Don’t apologize.” You wrap your arms around her. You can tell she doesn’t know what to say. How to explain herself. She feels bad for treating you unfairly but can’t seem to shake the words that describe how truly sorry she is.
“I guess I just feel guilty…” she trails off. “Y’know, for taking it out on you.” Her head tilts up so she’s half looking at you, her fingers tracing circles in the water. Responding to Ellie’s words is hard. Ellie lost her father, but you were there in Seattle. You were with her. You were the one who almost died for her. And you are the one here with her now. Whatever she’s dealing with you’re right there with her. You may not have known Joel as well, but the pain of seeing Ellie like this is like loosing her. Anything to help your girl.
“I can take it. I know you don’t mean it. so for you, I’ll endure it.”
silence.
she cant say anything to you. she feels she doesn’t deserve to. your too good to her. way too good. “you cant heal a bullet wound with a bandaid” you speak softly into her hair. “you dont have to say anything. i know. im sorry”
#tlou2#tlou#tlou fanfiction#girl in red#ellie tlou#ellie x fem reader#tlou au#lesbian#wlw#wuh luh wuh
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ASHLYNN I LOVE YOU SO SO SO SO MUCHYOU DONT UNDERSTAND. IM LITERALLY ABOUT TO CRY FROM RHIS????? HELLO????? putting the rest of my respond under the cut because i know it’s about to be long BUT THANK YOU SO SO MUCH IT MEANS SO MUCH COMING FROM YOU!!!!
IM ONE OF YOUR FAVORITE AUTHORS???? i feel so honored omg it’s crazy because you’re MY favorite author on here. brb going into a corner of a room so i can sob into a wall (つ﹏<。)♡♡
i’m so happy that you liked the prologue!!!! i honestly fussed with it so much and i’m actually really really proud of it so i’m happy others have been loving it so far!! me??? a master a prose?????? that’s literally all you bby!! but stop. this is the greatest achievement and compliment of my life. professional writing??? like let me just go back into my corner and cry some more this is so freaking sweet!!! (> <。) genuinely you don’t know how much that means to me, like it means the WORLD that you said this about my writing.
AHHHH AND IM SO HAPPY YOU LOVE THE WORLDBUILDING!!!!! i’m also really happy with how it turned out and to see so many people complimenting me on it just tells me that i did a good job, like i’m so relieved!!~~ i spent SO much time on the worldbuilding alone that i was like “hmm… is this wayy too much for a fanfic???” and then i put out that post about it and everyone was like full send it so i did!! hehe i’m really happy that i did too! 。゚( ゚^∀^゚)゚。 omg and you saying that if this were a published book that you would read it,,, going back to the corner and crying more. the world can expect another ocean by the morning. coming from the literal faerie princess herself this genuinely and truly means so so much to me. thank you so much for reading ashlynn and i’m so happy that you’re excited for the next part of the series!! (TwT。)♡♡♡♡
i love kai’s character so much hehe!! i’m glad other people has been liking him too!! i definitely went for a kinda different personality than how he’s portrayed… like he still his sweet usual self, but there’s something there bubbling underneath the surface ykwim?? like it’s him being outcasted and bullied by the other collective members but still remaining so kind?? but you can tell that it gets to him more and more as the prologue goes along in little ways—him picking at the seams of his pants, then the glares, until finally when he gets kicked out it’s how all the warmth leaves him and he’s lifeless… he’s really fun to write. i think him and althea are my favorite characters to write, especially with althea because i specifically made her so barn owl like that it starts scaring mc hehehe!!
and mc… i’m so happy you like her character too!!! i always get nervous with my mc’s personalities (mainly bc i got an INSANE amount of hate on my old blog for a different series i will not name here lmao), but everyone has been saying how much they like her and relate to her which is a relief… and the fact that she’s coming off as an actual person and not just a mindless gray blob there to get the story along means EVERYTHING!!!!! another person said this, but they told me how much they like seeing glimpses of her personality whenever she’s not around lamia and i’m SO glad people were picking up on that also!!! her and kai’s dynamic was super fun to write in this prologue too!! hehe like it’s kinda awkward cause they’re just young teens and it’s all puppy love and rainbows but it’s so so adorable watching them try to find themselves in this fucked up world i created lmao… and the fact that as soon as kai gets kicked out he goes to her—the fact that he was already so focused on her in the midst of chaos to notice where she ran off too after lamia is just,,, ugh heart eyes i love them. and the fact that beside althea, they only have each other now??? yeah i think i might’ve cooked with their dynamic
i’m so excited for you all to see them in chapter one where they’re a little older and to see how the years have changed them!! i think it’s gonna be so fun to look back onto them in the prologue as young teens and then in chapter one as adults and compare their personalities hehe~~ when i tell you guys that you aren’t ready for the chapters to come… i truly mean it. like you guys ARENT ready… a formal warning to start preparing yourselves because this was just the calm before the storm.
i could sing your praises all day,, hehe thank you so much for reading once again and i’m so so happy that you enjoyed it as much as you did!! (づ  ̄ ³ ̄)づ♡♡♡
BETWEEN TWILIGHT SKIES ───𝓅𝗋𝗈𝗅𝗈𝗀𝗎𝖾: 𝖺 𝗆𝗈𝗍𝗁 𝗍𝗈 𝗌𝗎𝗇𝗅𝗂𝗀𝗁𝗍
in a world that’s on its dying breath, the once green and lush landscapes get buried in more and more layers of ash. the once flourishing streets that were full of magic are now a dull hum. yet, there is still hope—and it lies in the hands of you and kai, the last people to possess magic. suddenly, you remember the story of a forest that watches, and a well of life that lies deep within. you’re determined to save your bleak world in any way that you can, yet, you weren’t expecting to end up in a brand new world entirely.
pairing ⸝⸝ huening kai 𝑥 fem!reader 𓄵 𝓯eat. ꔛ 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘪𝘯𝘯𝘬𝘦𝘦𝘱𝘦𝘳!𝘭𝘢𝘮𝘪𝘢 (𝘰𝘤) & 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘦𝘳!𝘢𝘭𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘢 (𝘰𝘤)
genre ⋆ 📖 ⸝⸝ angst, fluff, a lot of yearning and longing (both romantic and platonic), magic, sorcerer!kai
warnings ⸝⸝ kidnapping, toxic environments and parental relationships, implied bullying, two instances of reader getting slapped, violence, death (of people & animals), depictions of gore, implied anxiety attack and abuse, hand holding & staring into each others eyes, tension filled kissing
𝓴ipo’s note ⸝⸝ the series has finally started!! now listen, listen, listen!! i know what you’re thinking, “a prologue and it’s 7.6k????” but i need you guys to STAY WITH ME!!! stay with me and lock in and after reading it all you’ll understand why it had to be this long lmao… next chapter you’ll meet yeonjun hehe~~ i hope you enjoy!!
͏ ͏ ͏͏ ͏ ͏͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏͏ ͏ ͏͏ ͏͏ ͏ ͏ ͏͏ ❨ 7.6k ❩ ╱ ❨ 𝗽𝗹𝗮𝘆𝗹𝗶𝘀𝘁 ❩ ╱ ❨ 𝓼𝗲𝗿𝗶𝗲𝘀 𝒎𝗮𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗹𝗶𝘀𝘁 ❩ ͏ ͏ ͏͏ ͏ ͏͏ ͏ ͏ ͏͏ ͏ ͏͏ ͏ ͏ ︵͡ 𝙖𝙡𝙡 𝙛𝙚𝙚𝙙𝙗𝙖𝙘𝙠 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙧𝙚𝙗𝙡𝙤𝙜𝙨 𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝙬𝙚𝙡𝙘𝙤𝙢𝙚 (´ε`ʃƪ)♡
͏ ͏ ͏͏ ͏ ͏͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏͏ ͏ ͏͏ ͏͏ ͏ ͏ ͏͏ ͏ ͏͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏͏ ͏ ͏ ͏͏ ͏ ͏͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏͏ ͏ ͏͏ ͏ ͏ ͏͏ ͏ ͏͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏͏ ͏ ͏͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏͏ ͏ ͏͏ ͏͏ ͏ ͏͏ ͏͏ 𐦍 ͏ ͏͏ ͏ ͏NEXT ⤇
The world around you had begun to wither away and decay long before it had started to end. As most things do, the rot had started to creep its way in through love. It had used it as a gateway, spreading its sickness all throughout the things you touched until it was the thin wisps of ash coating your cracked fingertips. Still, you let the rot in—let it corrupt the things you loved and change them into something unrecognizable, something unimaginable—something that was now dead and gone. You just couldn’t let go of the small doses of love you were granted with—naively gulping down tasteless sips to fill that hole inside your heart left by people you never even really knew.
You cradled love like a child guards its favorite toy; with fear and hesitancy. It was clear in the way your body hunched over and you looked up at every grown-up through wet lashes. Obvious in the way your dirty clothes hung limply from gangly limbs—once a tight fit but now they seemed to be made for a child much older than you. It must’ve been what enthralled her, what made her decide to pluck a random child no older than five off the street in the middle of the night and take them home.
In a way, you guess you had to thank her for the senseless crime she committed; for it gave you a warm bed to lay your head at night and food to fill your growling belly. It didn’t bother you that it all had come at a price, in fact, you were none the wiser. But, you’d know soon enough. The mask can only stay on for so long before it starts to crack—before it starts to rot like everything else did.
Lamia, is the name she sweetly whispered next to your ear as she tucked you into a bed that was never yours that night. “But, you can call me Mom,” she said, placing a soft kiss on your forehead.
It was hard watching things change in front of your very eyes. It was never the way people described it for you. Not the slow twist of vines along a column or the grass growing taller than a fence—no. It was the whipping of wind across your face. You’d go to wipe your teary eyes and find the sunny and warm scenery was now cold and dead with glittering snow laying everywhere.
You hated it.
You wished that things could stay as they were for as long as they could. You hated watching the faces of people you’ve grown to know dip and sag with age in an instant. You hated watching the life leave their eyes in a quick blink. And you hated how life seemed to go so slow for everyone except for you.
If you could dare to wish for one thing, it would be more time.
Sweet nights and even sweeter days began to sour, and Lamia—your mother—wasn’t as kind as she used to be when you were still a child. You think that that is what hurt the most with this odd whipping of wind, that you were forced to watch the love your mother held for you leave her eyes faster than you got to grow up to the young teenager you were today.
“Welcome to the Freywolf Inn!” you heard her voice exclaim to the ringing bell of the door. It was a careful blend of welcoming and cheerful. The sound was drowned out of your ears by the incessant sound of a brush against hardwood and soap mixing with water. You sat back on your knees, throwing the brush into the soapy mess and letting it clang against the floor, sighing. You wiped the back of your wet hand across your forehead and sucked in a breath.
Your knees ached and your hands were sore and cramped. This was the worst part of your mornings. No matter how hard you scrubbed these wooden floors, it wasn’t enough for Lamia. If they didn’t shine as if freshly polished when you were done then you scrubbed them wrong and she made you clean them again. Standing up on weak legs, you looked over your shoulder at the new customers as you reached for the bucket of dirty soap water. A soft gasp left your lips and you had to hold on tight to the bucket handle with both hands to ensure its contents didn't go spilling all over the floor.
You’d recognize them anywhere—the Collective, with their hooded, light forest-green cloaks embroidered with gold filigree and its golden satin insides. You never saw a member in person before—not that you were particularly excited to. Seeing a member of the Collective, so far away from the School of Pith, could only mean one thing…
The rot was here.
Frozen like a deer caught on sacred ground, you stared wide-eyed at them as they made their way to the common room, their carefree laughs carrying in the air around them. It felt like a bad omen—a confirmation. You tried so hard to ignore the fate of the things around you, but seeing that you could no longer hide from it was like a punch to your stomach.
Strangely, you also couldn’t help but be morbidly fascinated by it all. You exhaled slowly, steadying your racing heart and stilling your shaking hands that grasped the handle of the wooden bucket. Distantly, you felt the sting of pain across the back of your hands and shut your eyes. Only when every last molecule of air was absent from your lungs did you allow yourself to gulp in more to soothe the burning—just like your mother taught you.
Your eyes fluttered back open and landed on the group of sorcerers. They playfully practiced their magic out in the open—ringlets of green floating in the air and curling around their fingers and forearms. Their hands moved in peculiar ways, a jerk here or a smooth twist of their wrist there. You couldn’t understand it, but the more you watched them perform magic in front of your very eyes, the more you wanted to.
One member stood out to you in particular. He sat off to the side, a small distance away from where the others engaged and practiced their magic at, by himself. Dark hair fell over his warm-brown eyes, but you could still see how kind they were as they watched the other members of the Collective almost fondly. His green hood was over his head and he fiddled with the seams of his white pants with pale hands. There was a ghost of a smile on his face and—unbeknownst to you—there was one on yours too.
He didn’t practice his magic like the others did. He seemed content in just watching, having no need in the selfish display of power the others showcased. It piqued your interest what set him apart from the others and already you could feel a growing favor blossom in your chest for the boy.
He had to be only a few years older than you were and your cheeks warmed at the thought. He reached his arms up and pushed the hood backwards off his head, seemingly oblivious to your staring as were the rest of them. The filtered daylight washed over his body and you saw him more clearly. Your eyes greedily scanned over the slopes of his face, desperate to take him all in as quickly as you could. You couldn’t lie, he was beautiful.
You trailed your eyes over to the wisps of the green in the air. It’s different knowing that magic exists in a world so bleak and actually seeing it in action. It made you wonder where the ash was here in your small village—the rot—so you could watch them smother it. You needed to see those ringlets of green curl around it tighter and tighter until it didn’t exist anymore. Until all of the ash was gone for good.
You wanted to know what it felt like to wield such magic. Your fingers itched to replicate their movements in hopes that green wisps of your own would emerge. Maybe then would your touch not bring about destruction.
A hand roughly grabs your shoulder and breaks you away from the trance you were under. “Stupid child! Can you not hear?”
Lamia’s wrinkled face startlingly comes into view and you feel the bite of her nails in the flesh of your arm through the fabric of the thin dress you wore. You stammered, unsure of what to say and what her previous words were, and blinked rapidly at her accusation.
Wind whipped across your face and too late did you feel prickling pain spread across your cheek. The inn fell deathly silent and your eyes started to water. You swallowed down the lump in your throat thickly, your watery eyes finding your mother’s. “When I ask you a question, you answer it. Do I have to repeat myself?” your mother asked you.
Slowly, you shook your head and willed yourself to find your voice. “N-no, mother.” Your voice came out in a quiet squeak, completely pathetic and weak.
“Good,” Lamia responded. “Dry these soap-covered floors before our customers slip. Then, I want you to ensure the rooms for them are ready.”
“Yes, mother,” you said in that same weak voice.
She looked you up and down for a moment before tsking. Then, she turned on her heel and returned back to where she was behind the counter beforehand. Smoke curled from her mouth as she leisurely flipped through the sign-in book, unaware of the way time changed around her.
You swallowed thickly again, fingers tightening and untightening around the handle of the bucket you still held. Slowly, you turned just enough to look over your shoulder at lounging customers. No longer did they smile and laugh with a carefree attitude and swirls of green in the air. Instead, they stared at you with barely disguised shock. Your gaze snapped to the boy you were spellbound with earlier to find him staring too, mouth slack and sitting at the edge of the couch like he was eager to stand. His eyes met your teary ones and you broke away from the sudden connection.
Lifting the bucket closer to your chest, you rushed off into the direction of the rooms, embarrassment weighing you down and the once unshed tears now falling down your face. You ignored the sloshing sound of the water inside of it and the way the wood hit against your stomach, spilling over the metal lip and onto the floor below, creating an even bigger mess.
Sniffling, you hid yourself in the supply room. Your tears fell freely and a large sob wracked your body. You let the bucket slip from your fingers just inches from the rocky floor without a care and with a piercing thud. Stupid, you thought to yourself. Stupid, stupid, stupid. Get it together. Stop crying.
Yet, the tears wouldn't stop. You heaved in breaths of air that refused to reach your lungs. You didn’t have time for this. If the floors weren’t dry and the rooms weren’t checked on in a timely manner then you’d get worse than a slap across the face. Harshly, you dug the palms of your hands into your cheeks and wiped away the fallen tears. You compelled yourself to take a deep breath, to let the oxygen reach your lungs and not be blocked by the false closing of your throat.
Closing your eyes, you took in another deep breath, and another and another until your body no longer began to tremble. You straightened your back so you weren’t hunched over anymore and wiped your hands down the front of your damp dress. When you felt like you weren’t unravelling at the seams only then did you step out of the supply room to face the world.
Instead of the loud chattering coming from the Collective like from when they arrived, it was quiet and sparse whispers. When you got closer to where they were in the common room, the whispers grew.
You tried to drown their whispers out—opting to instead get to work on your mother’s request. Dropping to your knees, you took the clean towel and aggressively dried the wet section of hardwood floor beneath you, letting all your focus fall onto the repeated action.
Footsteps sounded behind you, but you didn’t hear them until an unfamiliar voice stunned you from your focus. “If I may?” the voice asked. You looked to the side, eyes meeting dirty brown boots whose eyelets caught in the bright sun. They trailed upwards to white pants and gold embroidered filigree onto a light, forest-green velvet fabric. Your hand halted its aggressive drying as your eyes ascended further to meet the boy from earlier’s handsome face. Your eyes widened to saucers and his seemed to be just as big as they looked down at you. “It will all go faster if I do this,” he continued, some of his words wobbling around the edges.
You remained silent, not trusting your voice to not come out raw and abrasive. The boy extended a hand out in front of him and with a twist of his wrist wisps of green emerged and wrapped around it. They swirled out around the two of you, lightly fogging across the floor. You turned to the wet floor in front of you and watched as it suddenly dried, the wood shining in the sunlight pouring in from the window. Your jaw slackened as your mouth fell open.
“It was a simple spell—you shouldn’t have to be on your hands and knees drying a floor,” the boy stated, the second part lower than the first so your mother didn’t hear. He outstretched his hand to you. Your mouth was still open as you turned back to stare blankly at his hand. An amused and warm smile pulled his cheeks upward and you suddenly came to the realization that you must’ve looked ridiculous.
“T-thank you…” you trailed off, voice barely above a whisper, still starstruck by the display of magic and the boy’s smile. You straightened your back before blinking a couple times. Clearing your throat, you accepted his outstretched hand and the boy helped you to your feet.
He chuckled and you felt your knees weaken more. His hand was still holding yours, the both of you forgetful as your gaze seared into each other. The smile slowly fell from his face, his lips parting with unspoken words as he gaped at you as if bewitched. Snickering to your side brought the two of you back to real life and you pulled your hands away from each other.
“Uh,” the boy said, clenching the hand that was just holding yours and trying to form a coherent sentence. His gaze snapped briefly to the other members of the Collective before landing on you again. “U—No worries! It was nothing, really. Kai.” He stammered over his words before his eyebrows raised. “My name. It’s–I’m, uh, Kai.”
Kai outstretched his hand again before he thought better of it and swiftly yanked it away, instead rubbing the back of his neck with it. If you weren’t so disoriented you’d laugh, but you just stare at him instead, the heat slowly creeping up your neck. You then realize how much of a mess you must look and quickly wipe your cheeks to get rid of any remaining tears. “Um,” you start, “I… I’m—”
Your name slices through the air like a knife. You jump, eyes darting over to where your mother stood behind the counter, a saccharine smile pulling her lips as she looked at the two of you. It felt as if you were watching a snake rattle its tail. Looking back to Kai, you offer him the tiniest of smiles before rushing away again, leaving him standing alone.
You’re not quite sure when the obsession with magic started. Maybe it was when you saw how carefree the Collective looked wielding it, as if it was second nature. Or, maybe it was when Kai had so graciously used it to help you out so you didn’t have to spend the remainder of the morning on your hands and knees. All you did know was that it had sunk its claws inside of you, gripping fiercely at your heart and making the hole inside of it larger.
Maybe it was when you started sneaking away from, or even downright rushing to finish, your duties so you could watch them practice magic. Maybe it was the rush you got watching their hands twist and jerk in specific movements for specific outcomes, green coils emerging from the motions.
But, you think it started when you lifted your hands into the air, daring to copy them.
At first, it was nothing, and frustration built up like a brick wall inside you. Then, that frustration turned to resentment, and that resentment into anger.
The Collective were here for a week so far and you weren't sure how long you had left before they departed. Why weren’t you born with magic like they were? If you had magic, it would change everything. No longer would everything rot around you when you could smother the rot all out—bring everything that has long been dead and gone back to life. It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair at all.
You flicked your fingers in the air angrily as green smoked around the member’s fingers and not yours. Something a mix between and groan and a growl emerged from your throat instead. But, you were determined—and you refused to give up.
Perfecting the twists of your wrists and quick jerks of your fingers, you exhaled steadily and focused on getting the same result the member of the Collective did—cracking open a single walnut without touching it. The walnut sat on the floor in front of you mockingly and you scowled at it before focusing again.
“Come on,” you whispered to yourself. “Come on, come on. Work, please.” With one final twist of your wrist, you heard the distinct cracking sound and a soft gasp pushing between your lips. Your face broke into a smile and it took everything in you not to cheer at the top of your lungs. You watched the slightest hints of green feather away around the lengths of your fingers, so fast the color was barely distinguishable. A smile spread across your face from ear to ear.
“Yes!” you proclaimed, taking care to keep your voice low. A pleased laugh left your mouth and happy tears filled your lash line, “Yes!”
Your view snapped back to that of the Collective in the dining hall. You listened to the way they joked with each other and made water spin into wine—getting themselves drunk and red-faced. As your stare analyzed them, you noticed that Kai wasn’t among them.
It was odd, you thought, but it reminded you of the first time you saw him and how he sat apart from the others. How different he seemed from them. Just from watching the Collective members interact, you already didn’t like them. Maybe Kai felt the same.
You haven’t talked to him since that day—haven’t really seen him around besides quick glimpses, either. A peculiar feeling stirred in your chest and you weren’t sure what it meant. You just hoped that your paths would cross again.
When you weren’t at Freywolf Inn, you were at the craft guild with your nose buried in a book. You were there so often that you were on a first name basis with the stationer, Althea, a sweet lady who distinctly had the look that reminded you of a barn owl. In the entirety of your small village, it seemed Althea was the only one who wasn’t victim to the rot. You felt safe being around her—and she always remarked how much you were like a daughter to her.
She let you freely borrow the books she received or binded and even let you hang out behind the counter while she dealt with artisans and people wealthier than you could ever imagine who came to see her from all over the world. You remember asking her one day why people came from all over to see her wares.
“Not that they’re bad,” you quickly added, leaning the open book onto your thighs as you looked up at her from your hiding spot underneath the counter. She threw you a witty smile over her shoulder from the press she was at, hair the color of cinnamon sticks falling over her shoulder. The two of you felt as if you were moving at the same speed—you barely realized the fact that streaks of white slowly became more prevalent in her hair. “I mean, this is just such a small village… Wouldn’t they go to communes or the King’s Roots where the school is?”
Althea’s voice was nothing like you’ve heard before despite her saying how she grew up in the village. It had a strange accent and the way she spoke was like silk against the bark of a tree. Althea turned from where she worked to meet your questioning look, leaning over and resting her elbows on her knees so she was just about eye level with you, “Not… quite. See, I offer words that you won’t find on a shelf at the School of Pith. Illustrations they wouldn’t dare to let one of their students witness.”
You sat up more underneath the counter, completely abandoning the still open book in your lap. Your eyes shined with curiosity and Althea laughed—a sound that resembled crackling fire. “What kind of words?” you asked her.
“Knowledge, my owlet. There’s much more out there than the green thumbs of Pith—the royals and the wealthy.” Althea spat out green thumbs like food stuck on her tongue. You knew she never liked the Collective, but to this day, she still never told you why.
Althea stood and walked over to one of the shelves that you never touched, but was always only open for certain customers who came inside the guild hooded and quiet. Her finger ran along the spines as her white brows drew together, “There is a forest in this world, buried deep within another.” Her brows lifted as she found the book she was looking for and she made her way back to the counter.
You crawled from beneath the counter, twisting to watch as she laid the thick book down onto it and opened it to the beginning pages. You gently discarded the book you were reading off to the side of the counter, your focus now on the twirling of words and stirring drawings. Althea’s fingers gently caressed the pages. Her face was distant and longing, like recounting a memory that happened centuries ago. “The Forest That Watches, it is called,” she continued. “It’s white-barked trees have black eyes drawn onto them by people from long ago and its drooping pink leaves kiss the sacred ground.”
For a moment, Althea was quiet. You waited patiently, decidedly taking in the open page until she was ready to speak again. You could tell that this forest was a sensitive topic for her and you didn’t want to pry. You looked up at her when she wrapped her arm around your shoulders. She regarded you with a fond smile, “The forest has never been found, though, and it remains watching—waiting. Its pink leaves hide what’s inside; the Well of Life.”
With her free arm, Althea flipped through the pages until it landed on the Forest and the Well. “Woah,” you muttered, leaning forward to get a better look at it. Even from the illustrations you could tell how beautiful it was, feel the magic that radiated from it all.
You knew why it hadn’t been found yet—why it never could be. That much power in the wrong hands would be detrimental. But, you couldn’t help but wonder how different your world would be if it had access to the magical waters Althea was telling you about.
“Beautiful, isn’t it?” Althea breathed wistfully. “We’ll meet there one day… under the pink leaves and drink from the Well.” She returned her gaze to yours. “Wouldn’t that be nice? Then the turning of the sun won’t seem so fast.”
You sighed to yourself as your eyes fell back to the pages. You leaned your head into Althea’s side and she wrapped her arm around you tighter. “That would be nice,” you say.
In the darkness of the night, you let the shadows listen to your deepest wishes. And how you wish that it was Althea who plucked you from the streets instead of Lamia.
You wander Althea’s shelf now, hands running along the spines. Your fingertips still buzz with the magic you emitted earlier and you swear you can feel the contents of the shelved books calling out to you. Stilling, your fingers halt onto a book. The pull was just too strong to deny and when you turn your head to read the spine you find that the lettering has been rubbed away by time. You hum in slight annoyance before pulling the book from the shelf.
You can feel how Althea’s eyes trail you, especially when you walk over to the counter to take your familiar spot under it. In the corner of your eye, you can see her head tilt. “You feel different. And you’re quiet—quieter than usual,” she says quizzically.
Looking up from your book, a corner of your mouth raises. “Magic, Althea…” Your face breaks out into full-on excitement. “I have it! At least… sparks of it…”
Althea’s face doesn’t change from its quizzical expression. She shifts in her seat in front of the press. “Green?” she asked you, accusatory. You're unsure whether her accusatory tone was towards you or not.
The excitement swiftly falls from your face and you sit up more under the counter. “I… Yeah…” you mutter, avoiding her stare.
“It can’t be,” Althea states matter-of-factly. Her white brows furrow, and she looks away from you. “Can’t be…” she quietly trails off, more to herself than to you. “Green is… can’t be, can’t be. Doesn’t make sense.”
“I think it was green…” you pipe up, voice falling flat towards the end when her piercing black eyes snap to yours. “I didn’t really see the color, it all happened too fast.” It was true, but in your heart you wished it was green. You just wanted Althea to stop acting all fidgety and looking at you the way she did. You held the book in your arms closer to your chest and Althea’s gaze dropped to the movement.
Althea’s body physically relaxed from the tense state it was in, and if you looked close enough, you thought you could see the ghost of a smile on her lips. She hummed, suddenly pleased, “Magic… how enchanting. Have I told you about the White Fawn? Or, the prophecy of Eternal Winter?”
Your brows knitted at the change in her demeanor, but you concluded that it was better to leave it be. You shook your head at her question. “What about faeries?” Althea asked.
“No,” you responded, “what are they?”
Althea slid to the ground in front of you, a grin pulling her mouth and exposing her teeth. She tapped the book you desperately clutched to your chest with an ivory finger. “Why don’t you take a look?”
You giggled to yourself, letting your arms flow in the harmony of the wind. You twirled and moved your body to the tune of nature—to the sounds of the forest’s edge behind you with its rustling leaves and chattering animals. The crown of sticks and fallen leaves fell down further onto your forehead and you laughed more. You didn’t even notice the single brilliant blue butterfly that landed on it and completed your costume.
If your mother saw you right now, she’d be furious. She had sent you out here on punishment with the intention of having you clean the stables behind the inn. Instead, you were dancing The Dance of Youth and pretending to be the Faerie Queen.
You spent all day yesterday reading Althea’s book on anything magical you could get your hands on, which mainly consisted of faeries and the realm they occupied. The books conjured up tales, legends, and myths of those more than human—people with glittering or colorful skin, wings, horns shooting from their heads, and even human-like versions of some of the animals you were already familiar with. It was completely enthralling reading about it all, and feeling all the magic pour off of the pages made you even more giddy. The magic the School of Pith had was nothing compared to the magic you had read about.
In a kingdom so sunny and full of bloom, A deadly winter approaches to cause mass doom. Drowns the kingdom in layers of snow, And becomes a place where nothing grows and no one goes.
You sang and danced around in the grass, pretending that you weren’t human at all, but faerie. That you were queen and the lands stretching from the edge of the forest to the inn was your kingdom. You wished you lived in Faerie where all the other magical creatures resided. That you and Althea could live there together, happy. Maybe even Kai could join you too. You giggled more at the wonderful thought.
Rustling in the forest drew your attention and you halted your dance. You leaned forward, listening closely and peering at the way the setting sun shined through the leaves, but then laughed at how ridiculous the notion was. Of course there was rustling, it’s a forest. You turned your attention back to the doll propped up on a rock, watching you. “Don’t look at me that way,” you say, twirling once more before making your way over to it.
The doll was a sightly thing made out of straw and sticks that Althea gave to you as a child. After all these years you still had it, and you cherished it deeply—making sure to keep it hidden from Lamia so she wouldn’t toss it out. You could hear her voice now, “A girl born in the summer of the thirteenth year of the King still playing with dolls? How preposterous!”
You hummed, bending down to retrieve the doll. “What an odd thing to say… Why should I find a man to marry in order to rule? I am the Faerie Queen. This is my kingdom, I shall rule it how I see fit!”
Too lost in your own dream-like world, you don’t notice the crunching of leaves beneath boots. “Well, all Queens need a King to stand beside them,” a voice said behind you. You spun in place, clutching the doll to your chest. Kai tilted his head at you, an easy smile playing on his lips. “Don’t you think?” he concluded.
His cloak was covered in ash. He and the other members of the Collective must have just returned from defeating the ash in the area for good. The heat immediately rushed to your face and your mind raced. Kai stood mere feet from you and you were stumbling over your own thoughts on what to say. You stood up straighter, trying to appear nonchalant, “I-I suppose…”
How embarrassing it was to be caught in such childlike endeavors—by Kai of all people! You moved the doll behind your back in an attempt to hide it, yet Kai’s gaze followed the action before flicking back up to your face. Behind him, you saw the rest of the Collective ride up on horses towards the inn, snickering at the two of you. “I see Kai has finally found someone willing to lay with him!” one shouted sarcastically.
Kai’s face soured and he looked over his shoulder at them with a glare before turning back to you. Face softening, he took a step towards you. “Ignore them,” Kai says, “They think they’re funny and they’re not.”
He stripped off his velvet green cloak and gave it a good shake away from where you stood. Ash clouded off of it in front of him, making the two of you cough a little. “Sorry,” Kai coughed, letting the cloak fall onto the rock next to him. “So… The Faerie Queen, huh? What’s that? Does that have something to do with your dance?”
You looked down to your feet in even more embarrassment. “It’s… It’s nothing.” You sat down on the rock that your doll was previously perched on. “I can’t believe you saw that…” you muttered under your breath.
“It looked like fun,” Kai laughed, and you looked up to catch the way his smile lingered as he looked down at you. “You seemed really into it, didn’t even notice me coming up behind you. You jumped like a caught baby deer.”
It was your turn to laugh. “A baby deer?” you asked and Kai nodded. “I guess you could say that, but you scared me!” Kai sat down next to you. He pointed his chin upwards, his eyes on the crown of sticks and leaves on your head. “Is that your crown, Faerie Queen?”
Biting your lip, you took the crown off and placed it in your lap. You toyed with the leaves in it. “You should make me one,” Kai says. You looked up at him. He was much closer than you originally thought he was, his shoulder brushing up against yours making you nervous. This close up you could see all the details of his face—his eyelashes that occasionally rested softly on round, smiling cheeks, and the curve of his plump, pinked lips. And his warm, brown eyes that never left your face. “You know… Queens and Kings and all of that…”
You smiled, looking away from him so he wouldn’t see how flustered he made you. “Really?” you questioned, braving his stare once again. “Yeah!” Kai exclaimed. He leaned closer to you, “Only if you see me fit, though, my queen.”
Kai took your hand in his and bent over to press his lips to the back of it, his eyes flicking up to look at you between his lashes. The action set you alight and you were so sure that Kai could feel the heat radiating off of your body. “I’ll have to put you to the test,” you mutter, barely managing to get your words out. “Only the best can rule with me by my side.”
You felt the vibrations of Kai’s laugh against your skin before he sat back up, his hand still grasping yours. His face was even closer to yours now. All it took was one of you to lean a little closer and your lips would meet. “Well, you’ll find that I am the best of the best,” Kai spoke, lowly. His eyes dropped to your lips and he swayed a little. “Nobody stands a chance against me.”
“Is that so?” you asked, your voice barely above a whisper.
“Mhm,” Kai nodded. He closed the gap between the two of you and pressed his lips against yours. With the hand that wasn’t holding yours, he used it to cup your cheek and lift your chin to kiss you deeper. You melted into his touch, your lips moving in sync with his. It was perfect, and the feeling of his soft lips on yours was like heaven.
“Why don’t you show her your magic wand!” a voice behind you and Kai yelled in your direction. The two of you broke apart, yet Kai’s hand remained on your cheek. Embarrassment crept up your neck and you could tell from Kai’s red ears that he was feeling the same way. He turned to where the voice came from, brows drawing together to form another dirty glare.
The rustling in the woods was more prevalent now and both you and Kai’s head snapped to the edge of the forest. Before your ears could even pick up on the growling, a large wolf jumped out from between the trees. Both you and Kai raced to your feet and he held a hand out to guide you behind him. You hugged your doll to your chest in fear. Besides his body being tense, Kai remained relatively calm.
The wolf growled and snapped at the two of you, its sharp teeth piercing the air as spit ran down the corners of its jaw. “Awe, he can’t even handle a single wolf… the Ash is going to smoke him out!” Members of the Collective laughed behind you, but Kai paid them no mind. He guided you slowly backwards and away from the edge of the forest.
Kai quickly glanced back at you and the way you trembled, terrified. “It must be hungry,” he said, focusing back on the wolf. Green swirls of magic wrapped around the two of you. “It probably smells the meat from the nearby butcher’s.”
“It wouldn’t kill us, right?” you asked with a shaky voice, already knowing how foolish the question was before finishing it. Kai looked over his shoulder at you again, his face the most serious you’ve seen it, “Make something scared and it’ll do just about anything to get rid of the feeling.”
Just as Kai turned his head back towards the wolf, it pounced at the two of you. Behind it, more wolves prowled out of the woods, snarling. You barely registered that the harrowing scream that filled your ears was your own before you were pushed to the ground.
Everything seemed to move in slow motion for once in your entire life. The members of the Collective who were snickering and poking fun at you and Kai jumped into action, spirals of green emerging from their fingertips. More of them piled out from the inn, along with Lamia. You don’t realize that a hand is grabbing your arm and lifting you to your feet before you’re being pushed out of the crossfire.
All you see is green. At least, at first.
Then, splatters of red cover your vision. The screams and cracking of bones fill your ears and bodies fly through the air. Hot tears run down your cheeks and you close your eyes. Then, there is complete and utter silence.
The silence lasts for a moment before all sound comes rushing back to you so fast it felt like your ears were bleeding. There was screaming and crying and more cracking of bones set into place. You opened your eyes to see that the once green pasture you danced in was covered in red—red so dark it was almost black, and disfigured bodies and torn limbs were everywhere.
You stood up from the mud, eyes scanning through the green in the air in search of Kai. When you found him, tending to one of his members whose leg was missing, you breathed a sigh of relief. He was covered in blood and viscera, but it looked like he was unharmed. Barely taking a step in his direction, nails dug into your arm, bringing about a sharp sting that you were all too familiar with.
Body swinging in the opposite direction of Kai, you came face to face with your mother. Her hand reached up to roughly grab your chin. “What have you done?!” She screamed at you.
You glanced around you, never hearing her this angry before. More tears slid out of your eyes and to the dirt below and you tried to talk around the lump in your throat. You took in the destruction all around you, at the dead wolves that were now being carried towards the butcher who stood a couple feet from you. His voice caught in the air, “...a lamb, yeah.” You looked at how many lives the Collective lost in a sheer matter of minutes—and how it was all your fault. “It… I—” you started.
“You brainless child!” Your mother’s hand striked you so hard across the face that you fell back down to the mud at your feet. “Do you know how bad this is for business? Members of the Collective are dead on my soil!” You held your searing cheek with the hand that wasn’t still clutching onto your straw doll as you looked up at your mother with tearful eyes.
“I… I didn’t m—”
“Shut up. Go. I never want to see your vile face again!” Lamia screamed, her wrinkled face turning as red as the sunset behind her. She pointed a shaky finger away from the inn. You stood up on weak legs, your knees shaking. “But—but, Mom—” you cried.
“Go!”
You gave her one last pleading look before taking off, stumbling over your own feet. Tears blurred your vision, but you didn’t need sight for the place you were running to. You could find Althea in the dark, bound and soundless, if you had to.
You pushed open the doors of the guild and fell to the floor just in front of the counter, startling Althea and the customer she was engaging with. Your chest heaved and your tears formed a puddled at your scraped and dirty knees. “S-She… They’re all…” Your whole body shook and you couldn’t even form a coherent sentence.
Althea rushed to you, taking you into her arms and completely abandoning her customer. You caught a glimpse of them from Althea’s chest and didn’t know what you saw… Scaly skin that caught the light before a clawed hand pulled the hood further over their face, maybe? Althea shushed you and rubbed comforting circles into your back. “It’s okay, my owlet, it’s okay. I’ll take care of you.”
Love is a very wretched thing. It lets in the rot and the maggots and the ash. But, you still couldn’t help scraping off the corruption and placing it gently in your heart anyway. You couldn’t let go of the thought that maybe it could be beautiful, that it could be worth the cracked skin.
Instead of your usual hiding spot under the counter next to where Althea worked, you were hidden away between shelves at the back of the guild, alone. A book sat open in your lap, but your mind was too distracted to read any of the words in it. You heard the soft pattering of feet along the hardwood and turned to the sound.
Kai stood before you, completely distraught and still covered in blood from the wolf attack.
You waited for him to speak, but he said nothing. You moved the open book in your lap to the side as you sat up. Your lips parted as you thought of something to say. “T-Thank you,” you said finally. “You saved my life.”
Kai’s eyes weren’t the warm brown that they were earlier. Something shifts in them and you swallow thickly. They were cold, lifeless. Kai just nodded and slumped down to the floor next to you. An awkward silence filled the air and you didn’t know what to say to resolve it.
“How did you find me?” you asked in a meek voice. Kai’s eyes shifted over to you from where they looked out the window to the dark sky. “I saw you run here,” he says plainly. “Followed you.”
Silence penetrates the air before he speaks again. “They kicked me out,” Kai says, his lifeless eyes still boring into you. “They kicked me out of the School of Pith.”
Your mouth falls open in shock and you rush to apologize, saying how it was all your fault, but Kai just shakes his head and looks away from you. He’s still in his Collective uniform, but now the light, forest-green of his velvet cloak seems dull and dark. It doesn’t help that it’s now splattered with blood. “I guess it was my last chance.”
There’s no inflection in his voice, nothing to show whether the result makes him sad or angry or even annoyed. His face is expressionless. The only hint to his inner turmoil is the way his fingers pull harshly at the seams of his dirty white pants. The tips of them are reddened, like he’s been at it for a while now.
Kai turned back to you and reached a hand up to gently rub his thumb along your bruised cheek. His gaze then dipped to the book on the floor. “What are you reading?”
You hand the book to him, the page opened onto the legend of the White Fawn that Althea told you about. Kai hummed, “You don’t really believe in all that stuff, do you? This myth?”
“You don’t?” you asked incredulously. “You have magic, but don’t believe in a white deer that brings about luck and fortune?”
For the first time that night, you manage to get Kai to chuckle. “I suppose you’re right…” he trailed. “I might not be the firmest believer in myths and legends, but I do know a lot about them. We learned about them at the school—more things than you’ll read about in any book.”
Kai glances at you and catches the way your eyes light up. A smile pulls at the corner of his lips. The light still isn't back in his eyes—and his smile doesn't reach them either—but, it’s a start. You look at him as if he just hung all the stars in the pitch black sky.
“You want me to teach you?” Kai asks, and you desperately nod your head.
͏ ͏ ͏͏ ͏ ͏͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏͏ ͏ ͏͏ ͏͏ ͏ ͏ ͏͏ ͏ ͏͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏͏ ͏ ͏ ͏͏ ͏ ͏͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏͏ ͏ ͏͏ ͏ ͏ ͏͏ ͏ ͏͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏͏ ͏ ͏͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏͏ ͏ ͏͏ ͏͏ ͏ ͏͏ ͏͏ 𐦍 ͏ ͏͏ ͏ ͏NEXT ⤇
[ kipo’s note . . . ] wow… a lot happened… you see why it had to be almost 8k words now?? lmaoo i had to set everything up! but tell me how you feel about it all!! what do you think about the faerie realm, or the myths of the forest that watches and the well of life? the white fawn and the prophecy of eternal winter??? lemme know all your thoughts, don’t be shy!!! (∩˃o˂∩)♡
𖥦 ﴾ 𝖼𝗈𝗇𝗍𝗂𝗇𝗎𝖾 𝗈𝗇 𝗍𝗈 . . . 𝘀𝗲𝗿𝗶𝗲𝘀 𝗺.𝗹𝗶𝘀𝘁 , 𝗺𝗮𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗹𝗶𝘀𝘁 , 𝗽𝗹𝗮𝘆𝗹𝗶𝘀𝘁 ﴿ ︵͡ 𝙖𝙡𝙡 𝙛𝙚𝙚𝙙𝙗𝙖𝙘𝙠 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙧𝙚𝙗𝙡𝙤𝙜𝙨 𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝙬𝙚𝙡𝙘𝙤𝙢𝙚 (´ε`ʃƪ)♡
🏷️﹙ 𝗐𝖺𝗇𝗍 𝗍𝗈 𝖻𝖾 𝖺𝖽𝖽𝖾𝖽 𝗍𝗈 𝗆𝗒 𝗉𝖾𝗋𝗆𝖺𝗇𝖾𝗇𝗍 𝗍𝖺𝗀𝗅𝗂𝗌𝗍? 𝖼𝗅𝗂𝖼𝗄 𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 ﹚ @jjunberry @gothgyuu @gyuuberries @hyukascampfire @xylatox @ghstzzn @izzyy-stuff @sunoosgfv @jihyokat @whosserina @jellymochii @innocygnet @sumsumtingz @riribelle @yeoningz @minaateez @beombunni @jiryunn @lvrs-street2mmorrow @everythingvirgoes @beomieeeeeeeeeeees @usuallyunlikelyfox @blossommi @tinycatharsis
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#hyukascampfire nation is taking me out so bad#BUT IM SO HAPPY YOU LIKED IT AND THAT YOURE EXCITED FOR THE NEXT PART!!!#hehe ily so much#﹙🗯️﹚𝓯𝗲𝗲𝗱𝗯𝗮𝗰𝗸! (ノ゚ο゚)ノ ♡#hueningkai x reader#hueningkai fluff#hueningkai angst#hueningkai smut#hueningkai fanfic#txt hueningkai#txt x reader#txt fluff#txt angst#txt smut#txt scenarios#txt imagines#txt fanfic#txt yeonjun#yeonjun x reader#yeonjun angst#yeonjun fluff#yeonjun smut#yeonjun fanfic#kpop x reader#kpop smut#kpop fluff#kpop angst#kpop fanfic#kpop imagines#kpop scenarios
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Happy birthday to my forty three shades of Fernando 🥳🎉
Let me know which is your fav variant!
Top from left to right: Matador, Nnadopoleon, Aston(obv), Boy King AU, Bond AU
Bottom from left to right: Ferrari, Post Retirement Vegas Magician Fernando, Renault
#the fernando cinematic universe.....#this looks like the most fucked family postcard ever#something something insert selfcest joke here#fanart that requires you to be an expert in catieology#id link everything but im writing this on 5 hrs of sleep after almost staying up 24 hrs so hmmm nope#top ten drawings made in a fugue state#i drew all of this in one night. and like on the worst day ever bcs race day made me have zero sleep#BUT HEY I DID IT!!! AND I LIKEY A LOT!!#thank you suzuki for the magician nando idea. it honestly brings it all together#rip hussar nando sorry man couldnt get you in there :(#lmao renault nando is just happy to be there idk why he makes me laugh so silly#i want to write tags but i literally cannot think okay bye bye fdskslg#f1#formula 1#fernando alonso#catie.art.#fa14
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im on the floor sobbing
#THE BABY CLEWIS OF IT ALL#guys i meant to figure out what her diary said like 3 years ago but my fish brain forgot 😭#the entry about how happy she is. MY HEART.#im claiming that energy for 2024!#no but she’s so me coded bc i too was just writing in my diary in cursive#also the bit where she’s like ‘i just can’t get the proportions right’ is so real lmaooo#honestly every character should come with a diary i love to know what’s going on in their head#baby cleo is just so precious#h2o just add water#cleo sertori#h20 just add water#2000s nostalgia#2000s tv#phoebe tonkin#tiktok
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Yeah! I haven't read any fics focusing on them but I have seen that they exist! And also there's like a five sentence interaction in a fic I read ages ago that lives rent free in my brain. I think about it all the time when I draw Sixty.
#detroit become human#captain allen#rk800 60#yeah yeah the fic is definitely not about them but that little exchange is on repeat#thats the menace to society i need#someone who pulls a technically shes older than me therefore its within my rights to fight back#about an eight year old he has met one (1) time who threw a water balloon at him#granted in the fic there are adjectives used that would be less than sunny but the dialogue i used here is directly from it#so its only fair to link the fic lmao#hello once again saying i was reading fics for this game way before i actually played it so my formed thoughts#are v different than had i played it first ... and honestly im happy with the outcome !#i think i was able to enjoy the game more by realizing the ship i was reading about truly just didnt exist in game at all#and also holy moly the dbh fic writers are really good at writing anxiety and depression im in awe of how they word things#anyway here you go anon thank you for making sure i knew ! as i am constantly not a knower i like being told things i might not know#what if i started drawing for fics ive read what then would people who wrote them appreciate fanart five years later
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Here is the slut.
#dndads#dungeons and daddies#my art#glenn close#i have to wake up at 5 and write a math test tomorrow so you guys better be greatful i did this#cause i spend way too long trying to draw glenn hot like wayyy too long#i did not do school work cause of this#i dont even care about that damn pole i dont#but here is dilf glenn are you happy now?#are you satisfied?#i nearly cried cause of this damn drawing#also cause i lost my fave necklace down a fucking sink drain and am gonna have to beg some people tomorrow to help me get it out#at lesst im getting my hair dyed#i also have like two tests wendesday and like a bilion projects for thursday and Friday and all i did was draw hot glenn#im gonna go drink my hour old coffee and cry now#honestly vote carlos hes not a dick that sucks to draw#hot glenn autumn
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*picks you up and dips u in a vat of acid*
#south park#sp#pip pirrup#pip pirrip#damien thorn#dip#sp dip#dip is one of those sjips that i only enjoy if its outside of the canon . show if that makes sense#cuz otherwise like they were only in one episode 2gether and damien like. hated him#but *thinks about them anyways*#i mean as in. i only like it in rlly specific circumstances otheriwse id be indifferent toward it#these all mainly came about cuz im writing a damien and pip friendship fic thing#cuz id like to explore their dynamic actually (and also I WANT PIP TO BE HAPPY)#anyways i rewatched 'Damien' (the episode) so i could characterize him right and like honestly thats gotta be my fav episode in s1#its fuckin hilarious#also DAMIEN MADE A CAMEO IN A LATER EOISODE AS LIKE A LITTLE EASTER EGG. HE WAS ON SUPER NANNY. LIEK THE TV SHOW#KM CRYING ITS FUCKING AMAZING#i love damien like ppl characterize him as being pissed off all the time and while yea technically true#he feels a lot more. immature to me#hes literally like an angsty little kid and the onyl reason he set pip on fire was to impress the 'cool kids' one might say#cuz hes weird and no one liked him#but i like him.#his weirdness is captivating#damien meeting the lame loser kid that he doesnt like and befriending him cuz they actually have a lot in common#(and damien is very very lonely)#also pip deserves a good cry honest to god#i want. him to be happy. nyow#i want damien 2 be happy too tbh#potatart
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GOT MY BLORBOS TOGETHER‼️
So, Snehan being half-human half-vampire has a ton of allergies that affects them throughout the day and their partner, Squalo finds their sneezes (and al the mess) so attractive one day... unique as much 'cause he's a Shark, they don't sneeze neither (barely) get sick and such. The frequency of Snehan's sneezes started to sound like music to Squalo's big ears eventually so yeah, he's one of us snzfvkers fellas!
thanks a LOT again again and again to @roguesnezblog for making this commission (and one of my fav scenarios w them too) come to life!!! Support her in any way you can too ♡
#im so greatful and happy yay#they're everything to me... i wish i could draw them or write smth abt them more :((#brain rotting this sh!ttttt#Snehan sneeze's are in pairs/doubles usually and quite loud but its inevitable with the size of his nose anyway#Squalo finds all of that so fascinating (me too honestly)#his realization face is like :0!!!#“i... like this ??? ... oh wow”#Snehan finds abt this likings of his way too late lol#sneeze art#snz art#sneeze kink#snz#snzario#snz thoughts#snz kink#snehan o/c#squalo o/c
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✨preferences should not be standards for writing advice✨
#whenever i see writing advice i just get annoyed#honestly one of my biggest gripes about writing communities in general is this#constant need to regurgitate certain pieces of writing advice like they’re ambrosia of the gods#my biggest writing advice is to just stop fucking listening to all writing advice that has to do with#prose and style#just stop doing it#read books and find things you like and craft your own style of things#i know this is not simple for everyone but i’m tired of constantly seeing#i think flowery prose bogs things down too much#and i think that direct prose isn’t good enough at putting people in the world#like mate—everyone has preferences and preferences do not make good advice#so like#i wish people would stop acting like their opinion is the next best piece of writing advice#it doesn’t help anyone it just causes fucking insecurities#i am also having sensory overload so perhaps ren doth bitch too much#but you can pry flowery prose and run on sentences and incomprehensible blocks of text from my cold dead hands#bc it makes me happy to write like this and fuck off#ren hot cakes#i’ll delete this later im just cold and annoyed#and unfortunately you can thank my mother bc im extremely passive aggressive
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Late to the game as I’ve kinda been kinda non-here for a minute but I scrolled through the Dot and Bubble tag, and thought I wanted to write this post into existence.
There's this part in Doctor Who Unleashed where RTD says this:
“What we can’t tell is how many people will have worked that out before the ending. Because they’ve seen white person after white person after white person, and television these days is very diverse. I wonder, will you be ten minutes into it, will you be fifteen, will you be twenty, before you start to think, everyone in this community is white. And if you don’t think that — why didn’t you? So, that’s gonna be interesting. I hope it’s one of those pieces of television you see, and always remember.”
And I'm like. Yeah. But the reason this works even as well as it does is largely thanks to the work of the previous showrunner with the previous creative team, which was notably the first era to have any writers of color (amongst other firsts in terms of inclusivity in directors, composer, actors). While Chibnall fumbled whenever he tried to write about race himself, he did have the self-awareness to have Black and South Asian writers writing the episodes where race is the focus (and a female writer for the episode where sexism is a focus; my point is, he seemed to know his shortcomings).
I wonder what the current creative team looks like? (not really, but I wasn't 100% sure for all of them)
To quote RTD:
“...before you start to think, everyone in this community is white.”
This is pretty non-self-aware, right? It's pretty “It is said, and I understand this, there was a history of racism with the original Toymaker, the Celestial Toymaker, who had ‘celestial,’ and I did not know this, but ‘celestial’ can mean of Chinese origin, but in a derogatory way,” right? (from The Giggle Unleashed) It's pretty “and I had problems with that, and a lot of us on the production team had problems with that: associating disability with evil,” right? (from Destination Skaro Unleashed)
—none of which are issues that should be overlooked, but think how much exponentially better they might’ve been addressed if he’d consulted with Chinese writers and wheelchair-using writers before going straight to giving the Toymaker weird fake accents and making Davros walk?
How many Black or non-white people do we think saw the Dot and Bubble script before it landed in Ncuti’s hands?
And this just keeps happening.
And like, from some of the shocked responses I've seen from white viewers to the ending of Dot and Bubble, maybe the episode's unsubtlety was needed? From the way RTD talks about it in Unleashed, the episode was written with a white audience in mind, Baby's First Microaggressions (where of course the microaggressions come from people who are pretty self-admittedly white supremacists). Ricky September, a more seemingly normal depiction of someone in the racist bubble of Finetime, seemed like an interesting element, up until the way he died.
The ending worked for me, because I do think the Doctor's reaction is true to how the Doctor would react. I just keep thinking of how much better the core themes could've been handled by someone with actual lived experience on the subject matter.
#dot and bubble#fifteenth doctor#rtd critical#anti rtd#ricky september#lindy pepper bean#dw negativity#racism#antiblackness#words by seaweed#not to be anti rtd. im just very critical. Anti RTD is just a tag which people use or block#every showrunner has their flaws but RTD is the only one self-righteously virtu signling over NOTHING. which is why im more critical.#plus the on-set sxual hrassment and what happened with Chris Eccleston etc. it vindicates me. idk. not tryna be a hater#ALSO dot and bubble is leaps and bounds better than any racism commentary I expected from Russell T Davies. so theres that.#can you tell I'm shy abt making long posts that someone is likely gonna be not happy about-#I usually search tumblr for posts to rb and talk in tags. but I couldnt find any posts about this this morning! tho I think ppl have since#etc its fine to critically appreciate imperfect media etc I do it all the time (as a Black fan) (who also thinks Rosa has Flaws) etc#I did see someone on twitter pointing out the hypocrisy of all white writers but twitter does not have space to talk about things#also love that The Church on Ruby Road has Mark Tonderai who became the first black director w The Ghost Monument. I love his directing#but that's the Christmas special. it is not part of this season. and honestly fr it's not close to enough#love the inclusivity in front of the camera. lets get some of that in the writing team NOW. it's hurting for it.#bring back Charlene James. can you hear me? was the best episode of Season 12.#the ep felt like a commentary on the “RIP Doctor Who” ppl under every official Doctor Who post? hence social media?#it does work best that way!! it just felt a little off of that way in rtd talking#idk im rambling. I did enjoy it tho. I just wish. but well.
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Seared like a songbird flying to the sun
A belated birthday gift for @misty-wisp ! Tried to combine references for both Swan Lake and Cendrillon >:3 (Linked the English cover I took the lyrics from for the title!)
#ariart#isat#isat spoilers#gemtale#friends oc#i unlocked the ability to draw two characters and decided to just kept at it but tbf this one has 4 in all honesty and boi...#the Perspective... the one for the mirrored version was harder than i thought but aaayyyeee!!! AM SO PROUD AND HAPPY THO!#let it be known that this piece was only meant to have the mirror for the background but i was like: hm... too empty-- oh whoops--#also a lil sad that odile and odettes arms are blocking the design for front of odettes outfit. she also has a diamond by the center#of it! and its also meant to take on the shape of a star with three beads at the bottom! tried to give her an outfit combining#kabue (diamonds) vaugarde (circles) and the island (star) meanwhile odile gets diamonds and circles#and yeeeeeess!!! their outfits are mirrored in a way! i only wanted to give the mirrored effect of spiky and round#but somehow managed to pull off an actual mirrored fit like with the open and closed wings and the shape of the top#i also designed the outfit as like-- a ballet outfit thats also like just a fancy dress for the swan lake and cendrillon themes#the red part on mirrordiles leg lookin like a gaping wound. i love that part honestly cuz its so last minute#i was meant to blend that to soften the edges but my brushes wont cooperate and i noticed it looked reaaaally nice as is so i kept it!#also odile has gloves that has fake nails outside it so she gets sharp pointy nails privileges. i could write a whole ass theory bout that#smth smth odile making sure to cautiously and gently handle odette so as not to hurt her but as a result keeps her at arms length#did i thought bout that explanation when i gave her the gloves? no. i was actually just too lazy to get rid of her nails when givin#her the gloves cuz i did everything in one layer for the lineart so i was like: hey arent there gloves with fake nails? yea thatll work--#LET IT BE KNOWN THAT TUMBLR MF LOGGED ME OUT AGAIN FOR NO REASON WHILE MAKING THIS POST BUT IM SMARTER!!!#LOGGED IN A DIFFERENT TAB. WENT BACK TO THIS TAB. SAVE AS DRAFT! MY TAGS ARE SAAAFFEE!!! GODDAMMIT TUMBLR!
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cw: misogyny, toxic fans
im not caught up with MHA so no explicit spoilers but apparently deku and uraraka didn't canonically end up together and now dudebros are being absolutely disgusting towards uraraka. And im not surprised, they've only ever seen her as an object after all. They switched on her the second she stopped being a prize, moving onto the next girl they find hot (even if it makes zero sense)
I dont recommend going into the replies of any of them, it's full of sexism. They literally cannot fathom that a crush storyline could be used for anything other than being the mc's prize. The fact is that uraraka's crush was used as a foundation for her to relate to and connect with Toga. Whether or not she ended up with Deku is irrelevant. Her growth depended on her relationship with another girl--not the protagonist-- and they can't stand that.
#honestly i think the quality of her writing is pretty messy#my problems with it are in the consistency. like she has 3 separate arcs and they dont organically connect#i have no issue with the concept of it and i think her arc with toga is conceptually sound#i think a happy ending wouldve been thematically stronger but what we got is at least complete#so yeah my feelings on her as a character are mixed but i can smell misogyny from a mile away#saying that it was “all for nothing” just because they didnt end up together is so insulting and just not true#i will defend her. uraraka doesnt deserve this treatment#yeah twitter is a cesspool of bigotry esp ever since elon took over. im glad tumblr is my main home#mha#my post#mha spoilers#bnha#bnha spoilers#mha 430#bnha 430#bnha uraraka#ochako uraraka
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thank you to the three people that tagged me in the twst author spotlight ^^ irene, siren, and sapphy, thank you. i read what you said about me and i was very touched. i didnt think i would gain so many friends in such a short period of time, and you all deserve to be recognized for your contributions to the twst community!! :D
EVERYONE LOOK AT MY FRIENDS.
@tinyletterz, who has a beautiful soul and amazing writing. i've known her since my baby days on quotev writing for a fandom which shall not be named, and it's so such a pleasure being her friend. she writes twst x reader content and has a gorgeous series about flower languages that i think about a lot. thank you remy for helping me get accustomed to tumblr, you're the og!!
@shkrmpp, who was my first mutual that i'd never met before here. thank you for asking about jellyfish and being such a bubbly presence on my dash. shrimpy writes x reader content and creates adorable art!! their hair dye series with the leech twins is super cute and i find myself thinking about teh floyd part in particular very often ^^
@fukashiin, with the prettiest themes and the gorgeous art style. winou CONSISTENTLY writes absolute bangers that make me so giddy. this one in particular is one of my favorites, and her writing style reminds me of a soft summer breeze. she's such a bubbly person and its so fun talking to her, even if we don't talk often. ^^ she's one of the three people that keeps my deuce content afloat.
one could say many things about the beloved @hisui-dreamer!! from the way she adores her friends to teh way she writes, rinna is always soft and sweet. she radiates comfort and is such a soothing person, i feel so safe around her. she writes x reader content and every single piece is its own masterpiece. she's one of my closest friends on here and i wish nothing but the best for her every day.
@merotwst, who has a bucnh of adorable oc content (on @meromessy !!) and writes x readers!! ellie in on haitus right now takinga well deserved break. <3 but she writing is amazing and i am FLOORED whenever i see her art!!! it's literally so gorgeous and i don't understand how she does it. its crazy. how is so much talent in one person.
@siren-serenity is not only a lovely author of x reader content, but also a lovely friend. ^^ siren also has an oc named melody who is so cool!!!! she was the pastor at my wedding and fought TOOTH AND NAIL for that position LMAO love u renren!!! she really writes azul SUPER WELL and im so happy to have met someone so calm and soothing to talk to.
@officialdaydreamer00, aka nutmeg, is a rascal. an absolutely rascal but they're really the best. they have a yuusona with LORE and a bunch of really creative & cute events!! seriously nutmeg, nobody does it like you. if you want to see our favorite twst boys in strawberry dresses or recieve a pair of cute earrings, irene's blog is the place for you!!!
@the-v-lociraptor has STELLAR art. she was one of my firts mutuals on twst tumblr and i was terrified of talking to people but her vibes were very much "i am nice you dont need to be afraid" and sniffling scared me was like "OKAY I CAN TALK TO YOU" LMAO but yeah. she draws people so,,, full. thats the only word i can use to describe it. they just look s soft and alive and its really so amazing. i love her art so much!!
@siphoklansan is another artist!! i think about the art she drew from loona's heart attack with twst character weekly basically. it has been stuck in my brain since i started following her. sippy, its trully beautiful how you mix your culture and your art together. i remember you talking about it when you were drawing fairy gala stuff and it was just stunning. please keep doing what you're doing!! i hope your hiatus proves restful <3
@ceruleancattail is one of THE most creative writers i have ever met on this platform. every time i check out their account theyre talking about a new au or doing something different. they write x reader stuff and ar ethe biggest cater kisser ever (even if they wont admit it hehe!!) their writing is so refreshing, if that makes sense. their butler au is so goofy whaahwwahwah
@moonlit-midnight has the prettiest writing style :((( hannah is literally so sweet and it shows in everything you can find on this blog. THIS BLOG HAS PLATONIC FICS TOO!!!! DID YOU KNOW THAT?????? and even better, they're inspired by hannah's own friendships :((( literally the most wholesome thing. you can find x reader's here!!!
@iseethatimicy is an x reader writer and fellow azul kisser!!! she writes some really cute stuff for oour favorite silly little cephalopod AND AND AND AND HAS SOME OCS!!! THATA ARE SUPER COOL!!!!! shimiko and icy are both so cool and interesting 9EVEN THOUGH IM VERY SHIMIKO BIASED AAAAA I LOEV SIREN TROPES !!!!!)
@ryker-writes IS SO KIND. he gave me the sweetest set of flowers for his garden event :(( i still think about them and aaaaa i havent forgotten when he fought me over me being cool LMAO so goofy wahhwaawh!! HIS OC JAXON AND RIDDLE ARE LITERALLY SO CUTE :((( he writes x reader content & makes oc content!!!
@totallymem3 draws occasionally and omgggg meme's art is gorgeous. HAVE YOU SEEN HER DRAW AZUL. her art is so soft and its honestly adorable :(( meme is such a nice mutual too!!! like i met her on anon a while ago we've been besties ever since fr. HER ART REMINDS ME OF SPRING GO CHECK IT OUT PLEASE!!!!!
@z3llous is SO TALENTED!!!! another mutual that im liek WOW how do you exist??? he creates the most stunning twst fanart :((( THE OCTAVINELLE BIAS IIS SO REAL AND SO SO OBVIOUS BUT WOW.....WOW IS IT GOOD. zell is also a game developer and if you like cute little kitties and adventure games you should totally try it out here!!!
@cecilebutcher MAKES THE BEST OCS. creator of igor and saver of the universe. im not kidding igor saved the universe IDC WHAT YOU SAY ITS CANON TO ME. cece i sliterally the sweetest and soososososo creative i am eating up every crumb of igor content i get fed. OM NOM NOM. ofc junto is nice too and hes so sweet!!! GAHH you just put so much love and care into yoru ocs its so admirable :((((
@ang33333333l is another azul kisser that i became mutuals with a while ago!!! dolls love for sebek and azul is very sweet to see and her yuusona fauna is adorable too!! she also draws her yuu and characters sometimes!! :D she doesn't have a lot of oc content up on dolls blog yet but im looking forward to seeing more!! >:D
@leonistic deserves the most underrated writer of the year award. soru writes x reader content and is another super sweet mutual of mien (I KNOW IM SAYING THAT A LOT OKAY.) she writes aroace content and its literally feeds me. seriously. their aroace azul content makes me giggle and kick my feet and GAHHHHH !!! plus they have the patient to do matchups which is crazy and i love them for that ^^
@rains-asleep is the nickname master because he calls me straubs and thats such an adorable nickname :(((( HIS WRITING IS SUPER CUTE AND IT GIVE SME SO MUCH SEROTONIN (they write x readers btw!!!!!) they recently hit 500 followers (CONGRATS AGAIN!!!!!) and they also write for haikyuu, mha, genshin impact, and obey me!!!
@shinysparklesapphires is an artists that has a lot of cool ocs!! i believe navi was the first one i was introduced to and he's such an icon ^^ sapphy is also really into precure and produces a lot of content for the fandom!! i have yet to finish the precure series she recommended to me but its good so far and laura is the best so true!!
@datboredpencil has THE most STUNNING art. if you want idia x cater content this is DEFINITELY THE BLOG FOR YOU!!! each piece has so much love poured into it and i swear. YOURE ALWAYS LIEK "its a work in progress" BUT IT STILL LOTS SO LOVELY :((( YOUR USE OF COLOR IS JUST SO MUAH!!! CHEFS KISS!!!!!!! I ADORE IT
@twistwonderlanddevotee makes really pretty backgrounds!!! i actually used the isaac one she made for my private account AND ITS SO CUTE I LOVE IT I WANT TO EAT IT SWALLOW IT WHOLE MUNCH ON IT SHAKE IT AROUND LIEK A DOG TOY ANYWAYS. i am very normal about sofia's backgrounds. PLEASE GO CHECK THEM OUT its literally so unique?? like who else makes backgroudns liek sofia. Nobody.
@queen-shiba has an open inbox everyone!! you're welcome to send in requests!!! ^^ the queen of savanaclaw makes oc content for chuki, a really sweet kid taht deserves all the cookies in teh world :((( ALSO!!! she has an au for the tsavo man-eaters which is super cool!!! :O she passion for lions and tigers really is admirable and its nic eto see her talk about them :3
@beeirdos-buzzing-bogaloo has a gift when it comes to making ocs!! thule remains my favorite of the ones he has talked about because his design is just so neat!!! I LOVE THAT HIS NICKNAME FROM ROOK IS "MONSIEUR STARGAZER" :((( you have so many ocs that i havent even heard about yet...so im super curious to see what else you put out!!!
@dove-da-birb IS SUCH A GENIUS. they're one of my closests friends and their writing is SO BEAUTIFUL. they're also kidn of a little shit though so watch out /aff tehy write x reader content and draw sometimes, although i dont think theyve posted any of them. ^^ dove is SUCH a delight i promise you'll have fun every single time you talk to them. their energy is infectious and im genuinely really glad im the main target for their chaos. i would not have it any otehr way.
@ashipiko has such delicious art!!! the colors are always so vibrant and the way she draws is so unique. truly, a staple of both the twisted wonderland and as3! fandoms!! her energy is always upbeat and cheery, its hard not to smile when youre talking to her!! truly the biggest ace kisser on thsi platform (probably in the world too hehe)
@shyhaya writes for a myriad of fandoms!!!!!! hayami writes an azul thing for me that made me lose my mind IT WAS SO GOOD. PLEASE check out this blog. you wont regret it. requests are open!! ^^ even twst content aside, im sure you'll find something you like sich haya writes for so many fandoms!! talk about multitalented :3
@thehollowwriter has so many gems. quinn writes every character in twst so well, teh writing is so immersive and just ughhhh MUAH!!!!! every piece with azul in it is such a banger and it makes me giggle and kick my feet :3 LITERALLY THERE IS SO MUCH X READER FLUFF AND ITS ALL GOOD ITS A CRIME I DIDNT FIND THIS BLOG SOONER.
@cyath, who has some of the PRETTIEST art i have EVER seen. they draw stuff based on my fics all of the time and i adore it so much. examples of their art can be found here, here, here, and here. do you understand what i mean. do you get it. their art style is SUPERIOR and i ADORE IT!!!!!! they truly have so much talent like damn save some for the rest of us hello!!!!!
@crheativity writes twst x readers!! she's a beginner writer so PLEASE PELASE SHOW HER SOME LOVE!!! right nwo she has some heartslabyul content that i havent gotten around to reading yet but i am SUPER excited to go through them when i get the chance!!! rhea is super fun to talk to hehe <3
and lastly, @jade-s-nymph who organized this whole thing!!! rubia is on hiatus right now but i've seen some of her projects and a few of the things she's written and they're all really good!! there's a lot of x reader content on her writing blog and self indulgent nymphleech content on her personal blog :3
#twst spotlight#whew its finally finished!!!!!#honestly you all are so talented#thakn you so much for talking to me ^^#you all have been the cause of many smiles and tons of laughter ove the few months ive been here#no fandom has left such a positive impression on me in so little time#you guys are people to remember#every single one of you#and its sappy as HELL i know LOOK AWAY IF YOU DONT WANT SAPPY AUBURN#but teh way you all support each other and talk about things and connect is just so effortlessly beautiful#im so happy that ive been accepted into such a lovely group#im in awe of you all every single day#i hope you never lose the courage and motivation to do what you love#writing and art and anything else aside#i hope you can always find your people in every creative space you enter and i hope ever day you remember your worth!!!#its so amazing how our brains work and give us so many ideas and how we can just put those into words on onto a canvas for other people#this took forever so i will go take a break now but seriously you guys are all amazing
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lol i pregamed a tiny bit for agatha but now after finishing im just taking shots for coping reasons
#i am…… not all that pleased with the ending#/not trying to sound like a complainy bitch#SPOILER WARNING ->#i expected agatha to die tbh#but honestly what i Did not expect was for the ending to feel unfinished#and for me to come out of it feeling so deeply unsatisfied#and it’s not that any of the scenes were bad really!! i loved them#i just feel like a lot of them…. needed some further context or elaboration that we got absolutely none of#like i have So Many questions still that weren’t at all answered by the finale#and also questions that came up BECAUSE of the finale that didn’t get answered lol#idk i’m just.#i’m so proud of kathryn hahn and all of the cast and crew#and i don’t want to seem ungrateful bc i can FEEL that they put their heart and soul into this show#but the writing and contextualization just REALLY really fell flat for me in the last two episodes#also some decisions that felt…weird and last minute#like the reveal of agatha being the one to take jen’s powers?? still makes zero sense to me#idk i just wish we had more time with them i think#also i’m not upset that agatha died again i kinda expected it but the manner in which she died felt abrupt and inauethentic to. e#it just didn’t feel fleshed out at all idkkkkk#ugghhhhhgg#can’t believe i got fucking got by yet another sapphic show#i’m just asking for one good sapphic show with a satisfying ending PLEASE#(read: NOT necessarily a happy ending im not asking for all that i just need it to MAKE FUCKING SENSE!!!!)#anyway. i have more thoughts that ill get into soon im a bit tipsy and prob and not expressing myself right but TLDR love them all but…. 😬#agatha all along#agathario#agatha harkness#billy maximoff#kathryn hahn#joe locke
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I made a ✨️video thesis✨️ on caryl's clashing attachment styles to exile by ts (all 4 mins 42 secs not sorry) to fill the hole tboc left in me. 💔
I mostly made this for my own mental health. I hope you like angst. ✨️ (the ending is nice)
youtube
#honestly this started bc I NEEDED to deep dive into daryl's headspace to find any possible semblance of him in his tboc behaviour#idk that it achieved that for me but it somewhat filled the hole that i wanted to be filled by tboc giving caryl a resolution to their#find me fight after carol literally flew across the atlantic ocean to be with him#im gonna be so back and forth up and down about this fandom for the foreseeable bc I want to enjoy the things I enjoy about it but#the spinoff makes me feel so upset and just so many negative emotions honestly#im truly happy for anyone who is genuinely able to enjoy it I just cant I wish I could#I still have hope that maybe the future will be better but idk mostly it just makes me really sad#i want to make more edits and lean into my love for carol and mmb and previous iterations of caryl but yeah idk how much it will happen#bc its all angst with no relief or payoff#not me just using the tags to write my own little novel down here bye#caryl#twd caryl#Youtube
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Dude! Please I gotta hear more about your little lady 🤲
☆ Is there someone your OC didn’t like at first, but then got along with later?
☆ Who would your OC say is their best friend?
Dude !!! Always happy to see you in my inbox 🫶 ahh thank you sm for the enthusiasm!!
oh man these are some hard questions!! im still trying to figure out the characterization for some of them, so the dynamics might be subject to change. Regardless, oh boy you might have to brace yourself for this one, I fear it's going to be long......... (i havent written it yet but im going to preemptively cut just in case)
☆ Is there someone your OC didn’t like at first, but then got along with later?
that someone is Craig!! He wouldn't like Hanh at first because she's often involved with the M4's shenanigans, and assumed she was either a. a wimpy pushover because of her shy nature or b. just as bad as them lmao. On the other end, Hanh thought that Craig was nothing but a troublemaker with how often he got sent to the Principal's office and assumed he was a meanie with how often he'd clash with her friends. She'd misinterpret his direct and pragmatic comments as being malicious, and while she does agree with a lot of his points, she thinks that his words could use more tact.
However, over time they'd both realize that they had misconceptions about each other: Hanh would come to realize that Craig's reasons for being sent to the principal's office is usually never on purpose or for malicious reasons, and that he never actively looked for trouble. That, and that most of the time, his criticisms towards her friends were completely justified LMAOO. Meanwhile, Craig would find out that Hanh's not as much of a pushover as he thought she was, and that she reprimands the M4 just as much as he does.
which, segues nicely into:
☆ Who would your OC say is their best friend?
also Craig!!!
After they get over that little hurdle, they come to learn a lot from each other! I imagine that Hanh would often give Craig advice on how to talk to Tweek, esp when it comes to the more emotional situations where Craig's more prone to problem solve, and over time he'd learn how to be gentler and kinder in general! On the flipside, Craig would teach Hanh how to be more confident in herself by getting her to be more direct. Craig's honesty is also something Hanh will always appreciate, because it's something she can always rely on without second guessing herself or look for any double meanings. She can always reliably trust that his monotone and deadpan ass will always tell her the truth.
I imagine Craig would ask Hanh what she sees in Stan's gang, only for her to reply with "they make me laugh."
I kind of headcanon that Craig to be this super tall, stoic, kind of intimidating (mostly thanks to his height) kinda guy that people are kinda scared of and avoid. In reality, he's just as much of a loser as any other guy. And with Hanh being short af (standing at a whopping 153cm/5 foot), I think it's a pretty funny visual contrast lol, especially with their very differing personalities (imagine that one picture of the guy going "someone will die" and the other person going "of fun!" thats them)
I also love the headcanon of Craig having braces, so I wanted both of them to share the pain of wearing braces together!! I imagine Hanh being self conscious of having to come to school with braces. She'd probably get a bit of teasing, but then lo and behold: Craig Tucker with braces, to which no one has the balls to say anything about it because he can and would fuck you up (i mean he boxed tweek after all!!). So, by proxy, no one made fun of Hanh for her braces either! Anyways they bond over shared pain and the wires tightening their teeth <3
oh and he also taught her how to flip people off and swear at people lol. the guys made a bet to see who could get Hanh to swear (bonus points if she flipped someone off) and he was the one who ended up winning 30$ that day.
Now, this is where I predict it's going to be long because Craig's not her only best friend: there's also Stan, Kyle, Kenny, and Wendy!!
For Kyle,
They both respect each other a lot! Him and Hanh both have very strong moral compasses, and often times they'll find themselves on the same side and agreeing with each other on a lot of things, seeing as they're both very compassionate and caring people.
Although she's usually non-confrontational, whenever it involves Hanh's friends getting hurt unjustifiably, it's like there's a switch that gets flipped. She'll turn a complete 180 and make sure whatever needs to be done gets done (even if it means getting into a fight), which is something Kyle really appreciates about her. Especially if it's moments where she'll defend Kyle from Cartman's comments that go too far. If there was to be anyone he'd have a lot of respect for and find to be on equal footing with (other than maybe Stan and Wendy), it would be Hanh.
Similarly to Craig, I imagine that Kyle would try his best to help build Hanh's assertiveness and support her in her studies, and Hanh would in turn help keep Kyle's cool and give him advice on how to manage his emotions. They've both got each others' backs, essentially.
Whenever Hanh falls asleep in class due to staying up late, Kyle will often take notes for her
I think she'd also help Kyle be a little less uptight at times. Granted, she's guilty of this too and is often very prone to overthinking/freaking out, where just one thing going wrong in her schedule could derail her whole day. Despite this, she also has a very silly, goofy and happy-go-lucky side to her, so whenever that comes out it helps him loosen up a bit haha
They're also both the most studious out of Stan's gang, so they often do study sessions together. There's definitely a very small rivalry between them (which is completely one-sided on Kyle's side, btw. I imagine that he's at least the littlest bit competitive over grades, but Hanh does not give a fuck lmao). Sheila loves it when she comes over. Most of the moms, actually. They think Hanh's the right influence the boys need to balance out their stupidity lol
Speaking of stupidity, they're the most likely to take the responsibility of making sure their group doesn't get hurt/into trouble. Sometimes, it's just Kyle (though those moments are rare). And smetimes, it's just Hanh who takes on the role of the girl who's surrounded by a bunch of idiotic, immature guys, lol. Even Kyle can sometimes be susceptible to "boys will be boys," guys.
She also adores Ike! Hanh loves reading bedtime stories to him and playing Minecraft with both brothers! So that's bonus points in Kyle's book. Hilariously, I think it would be the funniest thing if Kyle was just terrible at Minecraft, so both Hanh and Ike would just dunk on him for being bad at the game HAHAHA
theyre both level 106 in hay day
I think Hanh would also really trust Kyle's judgement. He's not the smartest kid in class for nothing, after all. I'm imagining moments where if she's ever skeptical on joining on one of the M4's escapades, usually all she needs is Kyle's approval before begrudgingly sighing and tagging along HAHA
He's also much bossier than she is, so she's ok with just passively and silently following orders from him (from the others too, but Kyle's especially because of what I said above). Though, the same goes for Kyle as well: He trusts Hanh just as much as she trusts him, even if he doesn't actively show it.
They're both incredible yappers, Kyle moreso than her. Though, she doesn't mind taking on the listener role that much.
Both of them would also relate to kind of being the "outcasts" in the sense that they're always missing out on the thing that's mainstream (see: Kyle always being late to the Chinpokomon trend and him going against the metrosexual trend, etc.). I think it'd be the funniest thing too if both of them didn't know how to dap people LMAOOOO so they just spend a whole evening practicing how to dap each other up, only to realize that they can't even get a good dap up because both of their hands have hand sizes that are too different from one another.
I also think it would be super cute if they bonded over their "weird" lunchbox foods (on days where they don't buy from the cafeteria). Totally not me projecting my second generation immigrant experiences.
oh and he's the type to hug her right after a basketball practice: sweat and all. very gross, as intended.
As for Stan,
they'd bond over hating their dads, lol
Because both Stan and Hanh are very emotional people, they have a very close bond, often feeling like they're the only ones who can understand each other. They'd both be able to vent to each other about school, their issues, their depression, etc.
They also both get to see each other in their cringiest phases: for Stan, it was his goth phase, and for Hanh it was her weeb phase LMAOOO (they both tease each other about it constantly since they've both seen each other at their lowests and they know they're both losers anyway)
Speaking of goth phase, Hanh helps him paint his nails black!! he reluctantly asked for her advice because she has a lot of experience painting nails (thanks to her mom working at a nail salon), and she decided she needed to take it upon herself to teach him how to apply it the nail polish cleanly LMAO
They're both also very creative!! Hanh will often go over to Stan's house where they just hang out in each other's presence, where Stan's working on a new song and Hanh's just doodling something. Sometimes she'll use Stan as pose reference.
Stan would teach Hanh how to play some of his favorite board games (albeit with a lot of struggle), and she'd give him tips on how to better paint his Warhammer figurines.
both of them are also hoarders, lol
I also headcanon Stan as being pretty chronically online, so doomscrolling, on discord, the whole package. On late nights when Hanh's writing an essay that's due the next day, she'll often text/call him on discord because she knows he'd be awake super late.
THE BIGGEST CRIMSON DAWN FAN!!! absolutely gives her 100% when it comes to supporting his artistic endeavours, and also thinks his music and the concept of being in a band is just the coolest thing in the world.
Always sending each other new songs that they like, even if they both have vastly different tastes haha
Her and Kyle often have studying sessions along with Stan (and sometimes Kenny if he decides to tag along) where they both struggle to teach these two lol
Stan's more of a listener than a yapper, but they both have long back and forths. He prefers to be the listener more often though.
And then Kenny, oh sweet Kenny.
Hanh always tries to include Kenny in the conversation, because she notices how often he gets left out and she knows what it's like to feel left out!! it sucks!! It's something he always appreciates a lot about her
And despite being a huge yapper, Hanh always makes sure to get Kenny's input and encourages him to talk more! Especially when it comes to his own issues, because she notices that he often keeps his problems to himself and internalizes all of it, and she wants him to know that she can someone he can lean on.
He also makes her laugh the hardest. And she hates that she laughs at everything he says because sometimes it's the stupidest shit ever LOLL especially if it's stupid perverted jokes
Loves loves loves Karen. Absolutely adores her presence and often encourages Kenny to let her tag along so they can hang out!
Hanh's also a huge gift-giver, and she'll often bake stuff for her friends, but she always gives Kenny more to take home!
Always her treat when they go out to eat! Especially when it's Kenny, it's not something she wants to make a big deal out of. It's never out of pity, and it's always just because she loves sharing food with her friends! Sometimes she'll even pack extra in her lunch to share with him.
Calls Kenny "Princess" even outside of the Stick Of Truth larping game they play, because it's cute!!
Both Kenny and Hanh are very selfless and kind people, and it's something they appreciate about the other.
And then finally there's my girl, Wendy!!
Something something, girls with black hair who can fuck up cartman gotta stick together.
I don't think Wendy and Hanh would be as close as the other boys, but there's definitely a strong bond between the two, for a lot of the same reasons as Kyle.
Wendy's a girls' girl!! So of course it's only natural. Lots of bonding over feminism and the likes. Y'know, just girl things <3
Wendy would be the one to teach Hanh how to do stuff like makeup along with Bebe.
Ahhh I need to think more about their dynamic, especially she's my favorite girl in the show!! Even if they don't always have the same interests, one thing's for sure: they've always got each others' backs!!
This is also just a general thing that Hanh does, but she loves being physically affectionate with her friends!! So expect a lot of handholding and hugs for everyone! (which ends up leading to a lot of funny mutual pining shenanigans lmao)
#shroomer's inbox !#south park original character#shroomer's archives: dao hanh#south park#south park oc#little-neighbor#yea i fucking knew it was gonna be long#THIS TOOK SO LONG TO WRITE BUT IM SO HAPPY I GOT TO YAP ABOUT IT#dude this was supposed to be posted along with the other ask that i posted yesterday but then i just kept writing.... and writing....#literally took two separate sittings to write this#theres so much more i didnt touch on their dynamics that i really wanted to include but that should probably be saved for a later date#the way ive been waiting for the opportunity to lore dump to someone about this LMAOOO#take a shot every single time i use parantheses#youll get alcohol poisoning by the end of it#im crazy for them actually#like.... i was going through all of my notes that ive written on these guys and it made me realize whole shit im actually ill#f.fuck#honestly this is also just useful for me because i get to compile all of my notes into one concise doc lmao#TYSM FOR THE ASK AND TYSM FOR READING!!#FOR THOSE WHO ACTUALLY READ THE WHOLE THING#I. I LOVE YOU???? I COULD KISS YOU????#ik most of you wont and that is totally so fair#but if you did expect the sloppiest wettest kiss in the mail tmrw mwah#i havent proofread any of this so sorry if theres any repeating sentences or missing words or just general bad grammar and syntax#also needed something to get my mind off of todays.... well. yea.
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