#BUT HEY I DID IT!!! AND I LIKEY A LOT!!
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skitskatdacat63 · 3 months ago
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Happy birthday to my forty three shades of Fernando 🥳🎉
Let me know which is your fav variant!
Top from left to right: Matador, Nnadopoleon, Aston(obv), Boy King AU, Bond AU
Bottom from left to right: Ferrari, Post Retirement Vegas Magician Fernando, Renault
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arolesbianism · 6 months ago
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Every now and then I get haunted by my past as a dr fan because someone mentions it or smth and lemme tell you the worst case scenario is if they bring up v3 in an even slightly positive light because nothing will make me start giving a shit abt dr again except for my burning hatred of that damn game, I just spent like 30 minutes ranting to myself about how much of a nothing character Kokichi is in the bathroom after showering just to vent it out because if I don't rant abt v3 every now and then I'll explode and kill someone
#rat rambles#like I generally think I had a lot of dogshit takes and sucked ass at au making and character analysis back in my dr days#but like I still stand by most of my gripes with v3 even if my old rewrite concepts also sucked#look man those were dark times my previous main interest was cr and the one before that was hs#also I had never actually posted about my thoughts before so I was a bit trigger happy with saying shit with my full chest#Im still prone to having bad takes on things to be clear even with oni I had a lot of bad takes when I first got into it#tbf I was mostly trying to talk myself down from going deeper but I evidently failed. hard.#but yeah I should delete my old fandom blog became every day I see my old dr posts get notes and I die a bit more#oh wait one dr rewrite thing I still stand by is my humam chiaki shit I was onto smth#like I still agree human chiaki should have never existed but I also think her existing as an individual who was wildly different from#ai chiaki is deeply interesting and also leaves space for some fun fucked up tragedy shit for both chiaki's#like I still like a lot of my old ideas for my rewrite of that stuff especially likey characterization was off for most of the cast but I#was cooking with the basic concepts and narrative I <3 taking characters that ppl idolize post their death and shifting the narrative to#show that they weren't a hero nor could they ever have been they were just some guy who went through horrible shit and died miserable#its one of my favorite things to do in fiction even now so ofc Im still fond of my older stuff with it on some level#like mannn why did I have to go so hard on what ultimately amounted to an au character and proceed to drop the ball on everything else lol#anyways I need to sleep before I start talking abt chiaki more yall dont need to see that <3#I mean hey could be worse. I could start talking abt my old cr stuff. we'd be here for at least a week straight#my old cr stuff was mostly actually pretty good it simply makes me sad because I put so much work and effort and made some fantastic#pieces of worldbuilding and character concepts for a mobile cookie game that sucks absolute ass#I ofc will still happily recycle concepts from my old cr stuff but like so much of it is just impossible to remove from context its so sad#ok ok gn for realsies this time
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kaybreezy3000 · 3 months ago
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Looking for Happy Five Hargreeves X FTM Reader -anon request)
~Explicit sexual content -if no likey-stay away please.
Hilariously simple but true summary: Five Hargreeves is sad and horny and wants to fuck, and all he wants is you.
(Don't worry, I will try to take you a little emotional rollercoaster that's not all the dirty-dirty 👍)
~Reader is post-top surgery and pre-bottom surgery.
~This story was done as an anon request, asking if I'd be willing to do a pairing of Five X m reader, or Five X ftm reader. The request left the plot open for me to decide if it had much of one or how deep I went with it. Anon did give me a few fun ideas to include if I could, and I did my best to deliver and had a lot of fun doing it, so I hope you enjoy. Thank you, anon. And special thanks to my buddy Bad Kitty @badkitty3000 for proof reading this and catching my zillions of mistakes.❤️
(18,900 words)
Content Warnings and additional tags: Dom Five and some Sub Five, small 'Scream' movie add in per anon's personal love of the movie with sexy Billy and Stu, light praise kink, daddy kink, rough sex, choking, spanking, public sex, Five being sweet, Five being a cocky jerk, masturbation mentions, flirting)
NOTE: This story takes place during season four and after it, using a series of flashbacks, so it moves between past and present several times. Also, this was obviously written before season 4 came out, with an alternate season 4 ending written my way. It has lots of season 4 trailer and interview mentions to make it more fun and hopefully tie in a little with the real season 4.
~~~~~Looking for Happy~~~~~
Coming out of one of the empty offices at the Temps Commission headquarters, Five is met with silence. He still holds the title to the main building of the time controlling agency that he founded, but now, he and his family are the only ones that know it ever existed. 
He has no reason to be there.
It’s as it should be, but like always, he can’t seem to move on.
As Five told The Handler, he is a man that no longer belongs anywhere, only when he said that, he didn’t realize he was the driving force behind so much of his own suffering, or that in the end, it would all come down to him.
Everything he’s done was to restore life as it should be, and finally, this time they won. They are all alive. He should be happy. They are back in their original timeline where they should have always been, but the concept of time and Five’s place in it have always felt like pieces of a puzzle that were never meant to be solved. 
For everyone but the Hargreeves, with their exceptional powers given at birth, it’s as if the final battle that brought on the end, and then opened the door for the new beginning never happened.
That means you don’t remember him.
The rest of the world didn’t need to remember the terror. You just needed to live.
Strolling along, hands in his pockets, eyes downcast as the heels of his dress shoes echo down the vacant halls, despite his wins, Five feels empty. All he wants is to go back to a time and place that’s no more, back to when he could feel your lips pressed to his with a desperation that matched his own.
Reaching the end of the hall, he enters the narrow room filled with screens and panels of little white and blue blinking lights. He sinks into one of the industrial style chairs that’s placed in front of the Infinite Switchboard’s main frame.
Five clicks on the outdated looking monitor, his fingers turning the knobs, dialing.
~~~
Not long later, Five’s face is glued to the screen when Klaus peaks in at him from the hall.
Knowing Five would be here, Klaus passes over the threshold, loudly clearing his throat before saying, “Hey there, big bro…watcha doing?”
Five doesn’t even look up. “Yeah, lucky me. Is it time for our weekly check-in already?”
Treading lightly, Klaus approaches. “When you missed dinner tonight, we were a little worried you’d fallen asleep on the countertop in the break room again, but here you are...”
Klaus lightheartedly laughs at his attempt to make a joke about Five’s odd sleeping habits, but Five continues to ignore him.
“Thank goodness we still have a few of these things hanging around, otherwise the rest of us wouldn’t be able to visit this lovely place,” he says as he lugs up one of Five’s time traveling briefcases, waving it in his face.
Five glares at him.
“Really, man,” Klaus continues. “Everyone was there tonight. It was all the usual banter you’d expect from such an amazing group of misfits, but it would have been so much better if you were there too. Things even got a little out of hand when Diego insisted on coming here to force you to eat what was left of their disgusting vegan goulash, but don’t worry, I put him in his place.”
“Sure, you did,” Five mumbles.
Taking a step closer Klaus asks, “How are you?”
“I’m fine.”
Klaus’s eyes follow his brother’s unbroken gaze to the monitor, just as you enter your apartment building, where you stop in front of the wall of mailboxes. Your hand comes up, bringing your key to your lock, but your eyes remain fixed on the mailbox above yours.
“That was your mailbox,” Klaus points out, like Five doesn’t already know that.
Five once stood right there by you in that entryway. He hadn’t thought anyone that wasn’t part of his family would ever have the balls to try to put him in his place, but you did, and by doing it, you opened a part of him that before that, he hadn’t been willing to let anyone touch.
After shoving your mail in the back pocket of your baggy jeans, just like the day you met, with your face obscured by your sweatshirt, you stomp up the stairs, your anger evident.
The screen hisses with static as Five adjusts your location until it shows you walking into your bedroom. 
“Why don’t you just go there and talk to him? Maybe jump him in the shower or something. Sounds like something you kinky boys would both enjoy,” Klaus unhelpfully suggests.
“He’s not in the shower, you dumbass,” Five says, letting out an irritated sigh afterwards.
“He might be in a few minutes…”
“No.”
“Hey man, I know it wasn’t supposed to happen, but he remembers you,” Klaus insists, spinning Five’s chair around.
Swinging around, Five almost falls out of his chair. “What the fu-!"
“Five, I know you’re only trying to do what you think is right, but just look at him, something is wrong!”
Five does look, just as you pick up the stack of papers and news clippings from your bedside table. He doesn’t need to zoom in to see the one you are holding. It’s a famous image of him in his academy uniform, mask and all, standing like the smug little jerk he was while posing in line next to the rest of the superpowered Hargreeves children.
“There is no other explanation for why he is looking up all this stuff about you, and there’s other reason why he keeps coming by my old place,” Klaus furthers, “Why won’t you let me go talk to him? We were friends. He might remember me too.”
“Leave him alone!” Five snaps, but his bark has no bite, and his eyes can no longer hide how painful this is seeing you this way.
“Everyone is worried about you. We just want to help,” Klaus pleads.
“You can’t help me with THIS!” Hands shaking, Five jumps up, his voice breaking just a little as he says, “Klaus... I can’t.”  He looks back over at the screen, right as you furiously toss a tiny collector figurine version of him across the room. “Just because I want to see something in this doesn’t mean it’s real,” Five whispers, looking anywhere but at his brother, or you.
“He maybe wasn’t supposed to remember, but I think he does. As we all know, there are a lot of things that make no sense in this world,” Klaus disagrees. “There is something going on with him. Can’t you see he’s falling apart?”
Jaw working anxiously, Five drops back down in front of his screens again, flipping them to what is clearly a random time and date, somewhere in the past with ladies in long billowing skirts and the men in fancy dress coats, escorting them down muddy streets filled with steaming piles of horse shit.
It’s over.
This is how it always goes.
Klaus remains silent as Five pulls out a notebook, pretending to be taking notes on whatever he is pretending to get out of watching things from the past when there is no longer a reason to monitor it for corrections. 
Klaus knows that Five isn’t going to budge, but before he leaves, he says, “Five, I know you are only trying to do what you think is best for him, but what if it’s not best. It’s not too late to fix this part of what was broken too.”
Five’s pen slows as he looks up at his brother standing over by the door. He nods, trying to smile but Klaus can see it’s so hard for him to do it. “I promise I’ll be there next time. Tell Lila that I am sorry.”
“Tell her yourself,” Klaus shoots back, followed by a small chuckle, “She’s pissed. She worked for hours cutting up all those fancy organic carrots for you, so don’t be surprised if the next time you drop by, she chops something off that you find equally important as wanting us all to eat sustainably. And by important, I mean your wiener,” he unnecessarily clarifies.
The hint of a real smile fights to come out and wins this time as Five says, “Lila hates to cook, so I know she did not help make me dinner, and if she was going to chop off my dick, she would have done it by now.”
Klaus smiles too and shrugs. “Maybe… She was pretty mad at you though, so I guess you’ll have to come over to their place to find out if you are still besties. And hey, maybe think about bringing my friend along with you next time. Everyone is dying to meet him and see that adorable smiling face of yours. It’s not like we all don’t know how you like being perpetually grumpy, but seriously…you’re so much prettier when you smile.”
While Five is telling Klaus to fuck off, hoping he finally talked some sense into him, Klaus quickly rounds the corner, hoisting up his briefcase, his fingers punching in the correct date to go back to the present.
As soon as Klaus is gone, Five’s smile fades. He turns the dial, bringing up the footage of you also back in current time, right as you’re screaming into your pillow. “What the fuck is wrong with me!”
His heart breaks a little more.
Nothing is wrong with you. He is the problem, that is why he never should have done what he did. 
He should have let you walk away, but he didn’t.
~~~
The invisible string, a connection that refuses to be ignored, tugs at your mind and it won’t stop.
You’re going crazy.  
Like the miniature resin version Five you just sent flying, the pillow on your face joins it on the floor.
It makes no sense, but you can still feel the tickle of Five’s breath against your neck as you cuddled together on your couch, him contentedly holding you like he never wanted to let you go.
Your eyes remain focused on your motionless ceiling fan, but your brain refuses to come back to the present.
The pain inside your chest tightens.
You try to push it away, but it only gets worse the more you try to tell yourself to stop this.
This is insanity. You need help. That’s what people would say if you told them about the things going on inside your head.
From anything you can gather, Five’s family seem like they aren’t concerned about anything at all, but not that long ago you remember them being shown on every news channel, doing unimaginable things while defending themselves from the barrage of artillery being shot at them.
Five left you only hours before that, promising to be back, but he never came back.
Long after he said he’d be home, you watched in shock as the news blasted stories about him and other people associated with him that made no sense. They said they were aliens! They said they were superheroes from another dimension! They flashed images of Five’s much younger face alongside the other people he grew up with, including Klaus.
Then a war started in the streets.
Almost immediately, the news reporters had given up trying to maintain their façade of calm. The holiday lights beyond their lens twinkled eerily as the sound of explosions filled the air and rocked the ground.
People screamed and sirens blared, and not just on the TV. You could hear it coming from outside your windows.
As the collapsed news camera continued to stream live feed, out of nowhere, Five appeared in the frame, enveloped for a fraction of a second in a flash of violet hued light.
Your jaw nearly hit the floor. It couldn’t be real.
Five’s long coat tails flung like wings behind him as he grabbed ahold of the terrified girl whose picture you’d seen on the birthday invite Klaus had shown you. Five and the girl disappeared in another burst of light, just as bullets ripped through the metal garbage can she was hiding behind.
You smelled the smoke in the air when you ran outside. The earth shook, rattling your teeth as the echo of gunfire sent chills up your spine.
It all happened, only it didn’t. Nobody else remembers it.
Now, the Umbrella Academy is a thing of the past. The superpowered children that had once lived there are common knowledge, but they supposedly moved on with their lives long ago.
Klaus’s apartment isn’t his anymore, and the doors at the Umbrella Academy never open when you ring the bell.
The world in which you met is gone and the Five you knew is gone with it.
Five Hargreeves disappeared at the age of 13, never to be seen or heard from again.
Was any of it even real?
Again, you’re back to questioning your sanity.
“Fuck,” you curse, while raking your hand through your hair.
It’s been months. Three months and twenty-seven days to be exact since you first talked to Five, only then, you didn’t know that was his real name and not just a quirky nickname he preferred to go by.
He always had a nervous energy about him, and he always seemed distracted, so you usually paid no attention to him, but that day, something about the way he refused to acknowledge your presence set you off.
After he rudely stepped on your foot and pushed into you with his shoulder while reaching for his mailbox, you slammed your metal mailbox door closed, doing it much louder than needed.
You smiled with satisfaction when Five startled, even jumping a little.
He looked over at you with cartoon sized wide eyes.
Shaking your head, you’d said, “Not sure if you noticed, but you are not the only one trying to occupy this space. I exist too.”
Five’s eyes narrowed, the intensity of his glare slowly moving up and down as he took in your loose t-shirt and baggy jeans, comfortably paired with your favorite beat up low top sneakers.
You were sure the assessment he was making of you was not a good one. Especially when you consider that he was dressed impeccably as he always was, a long wool coat over a three-piece suit, with his hair a mess of chocolate brown strands, that though all over the place, only made him look even more unfairly attractive.
Compared to him, even though you stood over him by an inch or more, you suddenly felt like a tiny bug on the floor about to be obliterated under one of his shiny dress shoes. Your bodies outwardly didn’t look that much different, but you could tell that you were a little scrawny even when compared to his relative scrawniness. On top of that, he appeared to be close to the same age as you, but it was as if you were opposites, living in the same shitty apartment building, but he was somehow better than you.
You quickly concluded that he was a totally dickhead. Thinking about his stupid big black shoes, and then dicks as they related to shoe size, your mind started moving to certain ways that you were pretty sure you were different from him other than the fact that you weren’t an asshole.
You started to turn away, but before you did, you bitterly added, “I live here, by-the-way. We pass by each other almost daily. Not sure if you are aware of that?”
Ingrained manners getting the best of you, you extended a hand. Five looked at it like a foreign object.
He said nothing, so getting really mad, you casually as possible hooked a thumb under your waistline, while defiantly cocking your chin at him. “An I am sorry, or an excuse me, are just two options you could use to apologize when you just rudely rammed into someone, but it looks like you’re not going to do that since you lack even the most basic kindergarten level social skills.”
You tucked your mail in your back pocket and his eyes immediately moved down to your waist, openly checking out your striped boxers that were starting to show thanks to your pants sagging. Even more annoyed by this less than pleasant interaction, you started to walk away, quietly breathing out the word ‘jerk’ as you headed back towards the stairs.
“Wait!” he called out.
Surprised, you turned back to see the corner of Five’s mouth ticked up, the small movement hardly even noticeable if you hadn’t been suddenly hyper focused on the softness of his slightly parted lips.
“You aren’t wrong. Social graces aren’t where I excel,” he started. “I get lost inside my own head sometimes. I am sorry. Will you accept my apology, or is there something else I can do to make up for being so impolite? Wouldn’t want the neighbor boy thinking I’m a jerk.” 
He extended his hand. 
“You can call me Five, by-the-way.”
Fuck. He heard you, and what the hell, was he trying to be condescending? And Five? 
What the hell kind of name is that?
You looked back over at the name on his mailbox, it wasn’t Five.
“Five is a family nickname,” he explained. The dimple in Five’s cheek grew deeper the longer you dumbfoundedly stared at him. He lifted a brow. “I may be a lot of things, but deep down, I swear I’m a gentleman. I really am sorry for violating your personal space, but I am not that sorry about it because it meant we got to do this.”
What was with this guy?
Rarely did guys his age act so…
Shit… Was he hitting on you?
Five’s smile was like a superpower all its own and it was rendering you speechless, making you temporarily unable to maintain the level of irritation you’d had before. Feeling your face getting hotter, you couldn’t figure out why his words or his expression looked and sounded so flirty, but they did.
Maybe he was just trying to be nice?
Trying to play it cool, you threw a hand back through your slightly less shaggy looking haircut, then replied, “Sure… Nice to meet you and the apology is good enough. Very big of you. Thanks.”
Five’s taunting smile remained, as if you shooting him down was exactly what he wanted.
“Oh,” he breathed, digging through his stack of mail before pulling out an envelope, “I believe this is yours?” He frowned as he looked down at the feminine sounding name and your apartment number that was printed under the clear cellophane address window. “Your roommate, or girlfriend’s, I’m assuming?”
You took the mail from him. “No. No roommate and no girlfriend, just me.”
You were sure that Five looked relieved to hear that, and your breath caught, and your heart kicked up accordingly.
Adding the envelope to your back pocket, you breathed in, then slowly let it out as you rocked back on your heels. “That’s…my dead name,” you clarified.
Five said nothing. He seemed confused as his eyes wandered from yours and he rubbed his chin, but then his eyes suddenly came up, meeting yours again just as it seemed a lightbulb went off inside his brain.
His handsome smile took your breath away as he said, “I never would have guessed, but then again, there is a slightly unhinged, 64-year-old man hiding inside my head, and I am sure you never would have guessed that either.”
You laughed. You never would have guessed he’d be so funny or cute, but he was full of all sorts of surprises.
“You know, nobody reads the news that way anymore, other than grumpy old men, but I guess that makes sense since you’re a retiree,” you teased, trying to keep this whatever it was going by fucking with him again.
Unfazed by you making fun of him, Five nodded. “True,” he agreed, “When it comes to reading real newspapers and my other geriatric ways, I don’t mind getting my hands dirty from time to time on these ink smudged pages,” he waved his paper at you, “-or in other more challenging ways that are much more enjoyable. With the lifetime of experience I have under my belt, I’m sure I could teach you a lesson or two on how to have a good time the old-fashioned way.”
Taking his rolled newspaper, Five slapped it into his opposite hand, making a spanking gesture, all the while never taking his eyes off you.
You rubbed your palms down the front of your jeans. “Wha-what kind of fun?” you stammered, your brain clicking off as blood rushed between your legs.
“The crossword puzzle,” he clarified, followed by a cocky little chuckle. “There’s much more to the newspaper than doom and gloom news stories. It’s all about the delayed gratification. Seeing all those empty squares filled in the only words that can solve the puzzle is a sight well worth the effort.”
“You’re talking about doing crossword puzzles from the newspaper?”
“What else would I be talking about?” he countered.
Holy shit, you wanted to deck him.
~~~
A few days went by, and you didn’t run into your charmingly arrogant neighbor again, not until you were coming home late and you walked into a neighborhood pub to grab some dinner. You looked over, and to your surprise, you saw the familiar profile of a dark-haired asshole sitting alone at the bar.
“You can’t be twenty-one,” you said, sliding in next to him.
Five’s lips pulled to the side as he gave you the most mischievous looking side eye you’d ever seen. “So, you’re stalking me now? If my coworkers at the CIA knew how easily you tracked me down, I’d be fired.”
You scoffed, “You wish,” meaning both to the stalking and him working for the CIA.
Smirking fully, as if acknowledging he did wish you were stalking him, Five self-assuredly tipped his glass your way before sending the rest of the amber colored liquid down his throat.
With his head tipped back, tie pulled loose, and the top two buttons of his dress shirt undone, try as you might, you couldn’t stop looking at the way his Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed.
“Really. How old are you?” you pushed, trying not to drool.
Five let out a cocky sounding laugh, his eyes a mossy calm as his gaze flicked down and up, drinking you in like he was a lion, sizing up its prey. “19 going on 64, give or take. Doesn’t matter because here, the drinks are strong, and the bartenders don’t care.”
“Right…” Shaking your head at him as you smiled, you flagged down a server.
Knowing what you wanted already, you ordered, but when you asked for it to-go, Five unexpectedly interrupted. “Make that for here, and for two, and put it on my tab, please.”
The bartender looked at you and you nodded that it was okay.
When you were alone again and Five realized you were still looking at him like he was nuts, he calmly said, “What? I thought we were friends now, and I owe you, remember?”
“I suppose that talking smack to each other for five minutes, one time, means we’re friends,” you pointed out, before adding, “And as long as you don’t try to plow into me again, you don’t owe me shit.”
Five shifted his weight, leaning closer, so only you could hear him since the seats on both sides of you had just been taken. “As a man that hasn’t come close to mastering traveling through time, both forwards or backwards, and can no longer do either anymore anyway, I can’t promise anything with it comes to my spatial awareness issues, but that’s a whole different problem of mine among the many. When it comes to sticking my landings and running into you accidentally or not, I tend to think you like the idea of me plowing into you again.”
Your mouth opened and closed a few times, like you were a brainless fish, nothing coming out, because what the hell do you say to that!
Five burst out laughing. “You are so easy to fuck with.”
“And you are a dick,” you duly noted.
“A dick that you’re apparently not opposed to eating dinner with, and hey, I’ll even buy you a drink too, but only if you’re a good boy and keep looking at me with that handsome little smirk of yours.”
Jesus… Did he just say that?
He did, and his patronizingly suggestive comments weren’t the only thing getting you worked up. You could smell the heady scent of his cologne every time you had to move closer to him to let someone else get up to the bar, and damn did he smell good.
“Confident much?” you cocked off.
Five shrugged. “Yes,” he said, matter of fact. “But the truth is, most of the time I am not great with people. I’ve spent most of my life alone, and I have only ever been with one other person intimately, and that relationship wasn’t what anyone would call normal, and abstaining from any sexual relationship since then is definitely not my penis’s first choice, it's more of an existential problem.”
“Oh, my God!” You burst out laughing.
Your second conversation with Five was starting no less shocking and confusing than the first, and like the time before, you were loving it.
For the next few hours, you sat there with him, getting to know each other, having several more drinks that went down with plenty of laughs and hardly concealed innuendoes that proved over and over that what was going on between you was much more than just friendly chatter.
With his dark strands of hair dangling in his eyes and his perfectly tailored three-piece suit, Five looked hot as hell, and because of that, he was getting checked out constantly the entire time, but he never seemed to notice, and that was because his eyes were always on you.
You didn’t even think about leaving until the band that had been setting up since you got there started to play, and it got way too loud to hold a conversation. As you offered to pay again, Five refused. Then, having already had his foot resting on the rung of your barstool, he abruptly spun you around to face him more directly, giving you an innocent looking smile as he let the tip of his shoe glide up your ankle.
“I’m not ready to let you go yet,” he said, his voice low.
“You’re not?” you sputtered, trying not to spray the liquid you’d just tried to swallow all over him.
“This has been nice,” he said, velvety soft as he moved closer “Thank you for keeping me company.”
“That’s not all I want to do,” you found yourself saying back, your lips brushing his cheek as your hand lowered to his knee, your palm running along the smooth wool fabric, stopping mid-thigh.
Five’s leg tensed. For the first time since you got there, he was tongue tied.
He suddenly moved back, and you instantly removed your hand. You were sure you’d just freaked him out, but then he quickly said, “Maybe we should move?”
Not a second later, you were both making your way through the mob of people, all the way to the edge of the dance floor in front of the stage.
Five seemed so at ease in the crowd, even having fun listening to the live music. He was not at all who you thought he was, and just looking at him next to you made it feel like you had a swarm of butterflies fluttering around in your stomach.
With eyes glossed over, standing as close as you were, the music wasn’t the only thing Five seemed to be enjoying. Taking full advantage of there being no room to move, every now and then, his hand would brush against the side of your thigh, staying there a little longer than necessary. Then, after both of you were getting repeatedly shoved around in the crowd of inebriated people, Five strategically placed himself behind you, as he was trying to protect you.
With him standing behind you, your body got even warmer, and you smiled to yourself, remembering how Five had claimed to be such a gentleman. Whether he did it to be gentlemanly or not, Five seemed all too happy to have a reason to press up against your backside, because now he had an even better reason to place his face next to yours, humming in your ear as he said absurd things to make you laugh.
You weren’t so much dancing together as the people around you were trying to do, but that didn’t mean Five wasn’t intentionally or unintentionally moving himself against you to the rhythm of the music. Trying to figure out which one it was, you reached back taking him his belt, tugging him flush as you dropped your head back and arched your back into him.
Five let out a pained sounding whimper as his hard-on poked the back of your leg and almost just as fast, the tip of his nose brushed your neck as the warmth of his breath caressed your skin. “I’m sorry, but fuck, you’re making me hard,” he whispered before you felt his lips gently kiss your already tingling skin.
He had no reason to be sorry.
Turning around, you slipped your hand around his, assertively leading him through the crowd. You weren’t even off the main floor, a few feet down a side hall near the bathrooms, when Five was on you, taking your face in his hands, pulling you into a kiss. He was so excited, his lips actually trembled as they pressed against yours, a low moan coming from deep inside his chest when you eagerly reciprocated.
It had to be a whole minute later before he let you up for air, gazing at you with darkened eyes as he smiled. "I really like you.”
Sliding your other hand around his neck, you grabbed at the soft tangle of hair brushing the crisp edge of his shirt collar, tugging it sharply. "You’re going to like me even more in a second,” you shot back, while moving your other hand lower.
Five let out the cutest sound as you started fondling him while also giving his mane another tug, but it must not have been all that upsetting that you were manhandling him because as you tightened your grip in his hair, his hips reactively bucked into yours.
Five’s hard cock pressed up against the crotch of your jeans as he ground himself against you, his hands hungrily groping your ass, pulling you back and forth over his dick.
"Fffiv-vvve," you panted into his frantic kiss.
He smiled against your lips and kept on kissing.
You trailed a hand up his inner thigh, cupping his erection through his clothing as your mouths parted wider. The heat of his tongue entered you, engaging you in a sloppy kiss that ended with biting and tugging at your bottom lip before he said, “You have no idea how bad I wanted this.”
Five let out a shaky sigh as he glanced over at the man carrying several cases of liquor, trudging by, heading towards one of the bars' storage rooms.
You were a little taken aback by how vulnerable he looked, his face flushed, and his lips wet and full from kissing you. You stayed silent for a few seconds, just looking at him.
You weren’t sure if he was going to stop. Something seemed off, only you couldn’t put your finger on it. Not that you were trying that hard. Your fingers were still busy doing something else.
Before you got too worried that he’d changed his mind, Five started kissing again, your oversized sweatshirt hood falling over your heads.
Going at it hard, with his hands latched on your ass, Five dry humped you into the wall, not even stopping when the door across from you flung open. Coming to your senses only slightly, you shoved Five backwards, forcing him into the men’s room.
Your adrenaline was pumping hard, and your heart was racing as the door closed behind you.
Five came at you again. Your hands went around him as he grabbed a handful of your ass, nearly lifting you off the floor. He pinned you to the wall again, his cock slamming between your legs.
His hands ran down your sides, fingers digging in hard enough to bruise as he kissed and sucked your collarbone, trailing teeth and kisses gently up your neck.
Breathing heavily as you momentarily broke apart, Five anxiously said, “You need to tell me to stop if this is too much, okay?”
You didn’t reply verbally, instead you kept kissing him. Five groaned into the kiss and pushed your crotches together with more determination.
Miraculously for as busy as the bar was, the bathroom was empty, but it wouldn’t be for long. Not even breaking apart, you walked Five backwards again, moving him inside the largest bathroom stall. Thankfully it didn’t appear that dirty, but again, you weren’t really looking.
You kicked the door closed, hand only leaving Five long enough to twist the lock. Lips coming off your neck, Five’s eyes trailed up and down your taller frame. He reached out as you cornered him, brushing some of your hair away from your ear while his other hand snuck between your legs and squeezed your crotch. Looking pleased with himself and what he was feeling, he tilted his head to kiss your neck while he rubbed his hand over your clothed sex repeatedly.
In return, you moved your hand over his dick again, unzipping and then tugging his pants down. His cock sprung forward with no underwear to prevent it from happening.
Naturally you both looked down, and wow did Five look proud as your eyes went wide.
“Impressed?” he asked.
“Hardly.”
He was clearly not buying that lie because fuck…
With no further ado, you lowered to your knees, and he watched you do it as if transfixed. Your hand wrapped around his ankle, then trailed up a bit further, before you stopped under his knee, rubbing lightly.
Five reactively opened his legs a little, and so did you in a futile effort to ease the slight feeling of friction you were experiencing against your briefs.  
You were buzzed and horny, and this was nuts, but fuck it. This was happening!
Five’s cock was already leaking. You licked your lips and positioned yourself. With the hand not already holding him, you reached out and gave his long cock a tentative pump, spreading the precum around with your thumb. He pulled back a little.
“You okay, big shot?” you teased.
A smile crept onto Five’s face, but his voice came out so broken it caught you off guard. “You don’t have to do this.”
Okay… Maybe he was nervous, that was fair, especially if all his arrogance was just a show and what he said about being inexperienced was true, but considering how he had just been all over you, and now you were on your knees in a bathroom stall with his dick in your face, you looked up at him in disbelief as you said, “I know I don’t have to do this. I want to. Now stop being so damn frustrating and let me suck your dick!”
It was as if something in him snapped, the darkness in Five’s eyes smoldered as he purred, "Just remember, pretty boy, you asked for it. I am going to fuck your face so hard you’ll think twice before smarting off to daddy again.”
Holy fuck that was fucked but it only made you wetter.
Just then, someone walked in, going straight to the urinals. Your heads both flung that way. If they looked behind them, they for sure would see Five’s shoes lined up against your knees. There was no question what was happening, and even more turned on by that, you started stroking Five gently as you could while playfully sticking out your tongue to lick up the glistening fluid running down his shaft.
Falling back against the partition between the stalls, Five’s head made a hilariously loud thunking sound.
You kept at it, kissing the slit of his rounded tip, working it in a circular pattern. Five let out the quietest hum of approval as his fingers at his sides clenched and unclenched repeatedly.
You kept toying with him, enjoying how he was struggling to stay quiet, but only until the door closed and you were alone again, then he brought his hand to your cheek.
You looked up as his hand moved into your hair. “You look so good with your mouth on my cock.”
To that, the throbbing between your legs had you tensing your thighs to increase the sensation but it wasn’t enough and you let out a moan of complaint over it that made the darkness in Five’s eyes look all the more wicked with delight.
You put his whole tip in your mouth, opening and closing your kiss reddened lips around it, grazing it just barely with your teeth. From above, Five let out a moan as his hand in your hair moved, brushing your fringe of hair out of your face.
He couldn’t take his eyes off you and God did you love it.
He was letting out breathy sighs and grunts as you serviced them, his free hand pushing back through his hair the more agitated he got.
Wanting to send him over the edge, with the hand you were holding him with, slowly pumping him at just the tip, you leaned in even more, letting the musky scent of him fill your senses as your tongue ran along his balls. You were rewarded for that with a deep groan and an unsteady hand coming to the top of your shoulder.
That was all the praise you needed.
“Fuck yeah,” Five hissed, then he bit down on his lower lip, as you took him in your mouth, moving over him just little deeper and faster.
Almost right away, Five started rocking his hips in strained, shallow nudges. Each time he entered you and hit the back of your throat, he’d break apart a little more, and you swore you’d never seen anything so beautiful in your life.
Petting you, and making your hair all sorts of fucked up, Five encouragingly murmured “You are so fucking good at this. Fuck- Ohh-ffffff-you’re amazing,” he gasped.
Even though it was happening, you could hardly believe you were seeing this normally composed man turning into such a stuttering, red-faced mess.
Tipping your head back and opening your throat to him, the thick head of Five’s cock moved inside with ease, fucking you deep and hard enough in quick but controlled thrusts that it took away your ability to breathe.
Your eyes instantly began to water.
“Fu-ck-ye-ah-take-my-dick,” Five stammered as he wildly fucked into you.
The door opened again, the music getting louder for a moment before it shut again. This time there were several guys in there, but between the sound of them pissing, and their talking, and the thrum of the bass coming from outside, it still wasn’t enough to hide Five’s sharply cut off breaths and curses.
They knew, but the way Five’s eyes kept drooping closed proved his brain was no longer running the show and he didn’t care.
His fingers gripped tighter, yanking at your hair. You took the abuse, gagging on him until Five suddenly clasped his hands on the sides of your face, stopping you. “I’m gonna-cum,” he quietly cried.
He had a panicked look in his eyes. His teeth were clenched, and it was clear he was trying so hard not to orgasm, but it was coming one way or another, even with the guys outside your stall snickering and making lewd comments.
“Fuck yeah you are, and you’re going to do it my mouth,” you commanded, right before sucking him raw again, taking him all the way to the hilt.
Losing all self control, Five started railing your face again.
You couldn’t breathe at all, and were choking on your own spit. Your fingers dug into his thighs as your body instinctively fought back, but Five held the back of your head tight, forcing you down on him over and over.
Then, while violently scrambling your brains with his throbbing cock, hot spurts of Five’s seed started shooting down your throat. His hips jerked uncontrollably as he dug his heels into the floor. He fell back against the wall again. The waves of his shuddering release came out in a cadence of grunted curses as he moved himself in and out of your gaping mouth, moving slower and slower with each thrust until he was spent.
Having dumped his load, he started to slide out. Getting oxygen again, your blurred eyes took in the sight above you as you gave his well worked shaft a few more loving licks and twirls of your tongue. Sure that you just blew his mind, you popped your mouth off and smirked.
Five’s doe eyes were only slightly open and the dreamy way he was looking down at you was priceless.
~~~
Five was temporarily out of commission but you were both still horny as fuck as you burst out in the cool night air onto the sidewalk. Both riding the high, you fully intended to take your fun back to one of your apartments. As worked up as you were, coming out of that bathroom, hand-in-hand, quickly cutting through the crowded bar, your discussion hadn’t gone much past both of you smiling like idiots, but you knew the night wasn’t over, that was until you saw Klaus.
“Five?” he questioned, sounding totally shocked to see him as he approached from the opposite direction with his colorful meditation robe bundled around him.
Five slowed to a stop, back peddling a little. You looked from him to your friend, as his hand slipped from yours.
“Hey there, little brother,” Klaus said, “Would have never thought I’d see you out this late. What’s this?” He pointed at you with one of his latex covered gloves, the motion exposing his usual weird bubble wrap inner padding system that he liked to keep secured around him, so as he put it, he didn’t die while accidentally getting run over. “I didn’t know you guys knew each other,” Klaus added as he waved the hand holding his Styrofoam cup between the two of you.
It was subtle, but Five moved away from you a little more as he stuffed his hands in his pockets, trying even harder to hide that he’d been touching you.
Looking very uncomfortable, Five cleared his throat. “Well, Klaus, what with the nature of my employment, I am known to leave my apartment from time to time, and it’s not like I see you that often, so you wouldn’t know that. I also wasn’t aware that I needed to keep you updated with who my acquaintances are.”
Five looked at you for the briefest of moments, no indication of the sweet guy he had been in his now hardened eyes.
“We live in the same building,” Five irritatedly furthered, as he looked at Klaus again. “Happened to run into each other a bit ago while picking up dinner, so yeah… That’s it.”
“You guys going anywhere else fun? I’d love to join you, catch-up on life before the big family reunion b-day party next weekend.” Klaus held up his drink again. “This tea is amazing. I got it at a place about a block down. I’ll buy you guys one,” he pushed as you silently tried not to let it show how confused you were.
You’d met Klaus over a year before while at a park. He was there alone, sitting under a shady tree, legs crossed, eyes closed while positioned in namaste, when one of your friends threw a frisbee that glided over and clocked him in the side of the head, which was the only part of him not covered with protection from germs or flying projectiles.
Running over to apologize, from that point on, you’d been friends with the slightly odd, but always interesting spiritualist. The fact that Klaus was Five’s older brother, one of the other six orphans he’d told you he’d grown up with, was as crazy and unsettling as the way Five was acting all of a sudden.
As if you weren’t already feeling like shit, then Five said, “No thanks. I’ll have to pass on the tea. I have work to do at the office. I’ll see you around.”
“You still doing cool secret government stuff?” Klaus questioned, but Five didn’t answer him, or specify if he meant he’d see you around, or just his brother, then he strode off, his breath a plume of white in the night air as he quickly rounded the corner like he couldn’t get away quick enough.
~~~
The work week came and went, and you didn’t run into Five again, but that didn’t mean you hadn’t thought about him about a million times.
Of course, you asked Klaus about him, and he asked you about you and Five. Klaus said that his brother was super secretive. He said that he thought Five worked for the government in some capacity, but really, he wasn’t sure, but you were pretty sure that was a lie.
Klaus said Five was a loner and that he didn’t get out socially that much, so he was floored when he saw him laughing and smiling, walking down the street with you, and that part you figured was true.
When Klaus pressed you about Five, you could tell that he knew you were lying when you went along with Five’s story, by not giving him anything new, other than you’d eaten dinner with him since you both happened to be sitting at the same bar.
You said you were being neighborly. That was it.
You both weren’t telling the whole truth, and you both knew it.
As much as you wanted to tell someone how mad you were about what Five had done, it sure as hell wasn’t going to be his older brother. The way Five played you was dirty, but you weren’t the type to start shit.
Five was a prick. End of story.
You didn’t know if he was ashamed of people knowing about him being with you, or it was just his family knowing about it, or if he just used you to get off and that’s all it ever was.
It didn’t matter.
You felt so stupid because you had felt like you had something real with him, something that was maybe a bit too much based on an intense sexual attraction and a shared craving to one up the other with cocky remarks and flirty jokes, but there was also something else. When you were with Five, it felt like you were all that he could see. And even more important, he saw you how you wanted to be seen.
You wanted to get lost in him and the feeling seemed to be mutual, but you were wrong.
What Five did hurt. There was no other way to put it.
When you came and went from your place, a part of you wanted to run into him, and another part of you never wanted to see him again. Some days when you couldn’t stop thinking about that asshole’s smile and those dark lashes of his fanning his pale cheeks, you contemplated going up a floor to kick his door in, to either jump his bones or kick him in the nuts, maybe both.
You didn’t.
It had been a long day, and the last thing you wanted was to go out. You were planning on having over a group of guys to watch a horror movie marathon. It was going to be a mixed group, old friends and Klaus.
Klaus always seemed lonely, too obsessed with keeping himself from getting sick or avoiding quicker, more gruesome forms of death, so you weren’t about to leave him out. He needed to get outside of his head and so did you. Klaus was someone that needed a friend and you were happy to bring him into your fold, even if he often remained quiet, or nervously excitable. He could be so hot and cold, and so detached, and something about that reminded you of Five.
They were brothers, so…
No. 
No, you were not going there.
Fuck Five.
You dropped some bags of chips and other junk food on the table in front of the couch, busying yourself with getting things ready for your guests, rather than wasting your time thinking about Five.
Life goes on, your friends showed up and as usual, Klaus was late, but when he knocked on your door with his brother in tow, you naturally did a double take because you were so floored.  
“Mind if I join you?” Five sheepishly asked while handing you a bottle of very expensive looking Scotch, the same brand he kept buying you at the bar.
There you were, wearing your favorite sweats and frumpy faded t-shirt, and there he was, looking amazing as always in his slim fit white dress shirt and usual black slacks, but gone was the self-assured guy who strutted into your life and then stomped on your dick.
He looked so nervous and unlike himself that all you could bring yourself to do was take the bottle as you nodded your head, stepping aside to let them in.
Klaus came waltzing in, minus his usual bubble wrap bumper vest, which you assumed he left at Five’s apartment before coming down to yours. He instantly took his place on your recliner since you’d abandoned it.
“Since, my dearest little brother lives in your building and you two are friends, I figured I’d stop by and see if he wanted to join us,” he explained, clearly aware that you weren’t thrilled. “With how chummy you two looked the other night, I was surprised that you hadn’t already plucked Five out of his boring man cave,” he added while wagging his eyebrows at you.
“Funny, when inviting my friends over, thinking anything about Five and our chumminess totally slipped my mind,” you muttered, as you glared at the jerk you did not want there who was still expectantly staring at you.
The asshole was standing there on your door mat, looking about as clueless as ever, so you waved him on. “Don’t just stand there. Come on in. Join the party. We’re about thirty minutes into the first ‘Scream’ movie.”
“Are you sure this is, okay?” Five quietly asked, clearly not wanting anyone else to hear as you shut the door behind him.
“Why wouldn’t it be,” you shot back, the anger in your voice impossible to hide.
“It’s not what you think. I am sorry,” he tried.
“Whatever,” you snapped. “Hey, Klaus!” He looked up with his mouth full of popcorn. “Introduce your brother, please.”
After dismissing him, with no other choice Five walked out to meet your friends.
Entering your kitchen, you got down some tumblers to pour everyone a glass of Five’s ‘you sucked my dick and then I rejected you,’ peace offering or whatever the fuck it was supposed to be.
“Gentleman, my ass,” you breathed before coming out to the living room with your hands full of the sloshing liquid.
Of course, there was nowhere to sit but next to him on your L-shaped couch. Five was at the hooked end, doing his best to look somewhat comfortable.
Like before they came, mostly everyone ignored the addition to the party as they zoned out, watching the movie, making comments here and there. As it was before, everyone was just chilling, lounged out on your furniture. Deputy Duey was being a dipshit that you couldn’t help but love, and terrified girls with big tits, and stupid horny guys ran for their life, screaming as the ghost-faced killer sliced and diced them.
It would have been great, exactly what you needed, but Five’s presence was making it anything but relaxing for you. He was so close; you could feel the heat of his leg next to yours as the silent tension between you grew. The way he was bouncing his knee made it clear he wasn’t feeling very comfortable either, but fuck him.
Nearing the end, when the masks came off, Five’s agitation had gotten noticeably worse. He could hardly hold still. You could tell he wasn’t okay. His hand laying against his leg was shaking. Not even thinking, you reached over, placing yours over it.
His breath hitched as he looked at you. “Excuse me,” he whispered, abruptly pushing himself up off the couch.
As he passed, Klaus gave his brother a worried glance, but you told him to stay put as you got up to follow Five.
Coming around the partition dividing your small living space, you saw that Five had himself leaned back against your kitchen counter, head down, pinching his forehead between two fingers.
“Not enjoying the movie?” you sarcastically asked.
Five pulled in a long breath AS he looked up at you. “I am afraid that as an ex-assassin, there is something about these tragically misguided young men happily stalking their prey before slicing them apart with blunt objects that hits a little too close to home.”
You blinked rapidly. “You’re kidding?”
His lip quirked up. “Not entirely.”
“Ah-huh,” you breathed before taking a long pull of your drink while glancing around the corner at the TV in the other room.
“At least part of the motivation for these two bonehead murderers being their secret love affair made this otherwise less than thrilling teen slasher film less boring,” Five furthered, seemingly a little less upset, almost playful as he smiled a little more when you looked at him again.
“What! NO! I love this movie,” you argued, forgetting that you hated him, even playing up how offended you were by his comment over your favorite scary movie. “And hell yes, them being mad as fuck for each other makes this better,” you agreed, followed by a laugh.
Five’s smile fell. “I wish I hadn’t done what I did the other night.”
“Then why did you?”
He ran his hand back, pushing his hair out his eyes, but it fell right back. “Because, when it comes to my family, it’s complicated, and not even factoring them into my life, I don’t know how to be with anyone, and I don’t know if I should be with anyone with the way I am anyway.”
“I don’t get it. If you’re ashamed-"
“It’s not that,” he interrupted, then he raised his voice. “I don’t care if the entire world knows how I feel about you!”
Klaus had been talking, but hearing that, the other room got very quiet.
“You are the first person I want to open myself to like this, or who has ever made me feel this way,” Five said, coming to you, his hands finding yours at your sides as he leaned into you. “I still want this more than anything, I just messed up because I am messed up.”
Coming closer, his lips touched yours so softly for just a fraction of a second. His eyes like gems, implored you-asking forgiveness.
“Since the other night, other than hating myself, I have wanted nothing more than to see your smile again,” he whispered, “even though what I did made it seem like I don’t care about you, that is about the farthest thing from the truth. Will you give me a second chance to show you how much you mean to me?”
You were pretty sure you couldn’t have made your lips form the word no, no matter how hard you tried.
“Are you sure you’re not embarrassed about this?” you questioned, your fingers making soothing circles along the undersides of his wrists.
Five smiled again. “I’m sure.”
“Prove it.”
“You forgive me then?”
“I’m working on it, but you have a lot of making up to do.”
Five’s hand moved around to your lower back, sliding up the back of your shirt, pulling you closer. You nudged his nose with yours.
“Like I said, prove it,” you softly repeated, daring him to show you that he meant what he said about not caring if his family or anyone else knew.
Five glanced over your shoulder, as if he could see your guests even though there was a wall in the way. His hand moved along your hip, slipping below the waistband of your sweatpants. “What do you have in mind for how I can prove it to you, handsome?”
He plucked the knot in your drawstring free, pulling the bunched cotton at your waist, loosening it so his hand could slip inside your pants.
“This, maybe?” he hummed against your ear, his fingers just under the elastic of your briefs.
You looked back at him with pleading eyes.
“Your bedroom is right over there but you want it right here, don’t you dirty boy?” he taunted.
There was no time for a comeback, only a shuttered breath before Five’s hand dove lower and you gasped at the sudden feeling of his finger abruptly entering you.
A devilish smile lit up Five’s face. “Awww… Wet for me already? Such a good boy,” he chuckled as his finger began to move, lovingly stroking the lubrication upwards.
You lowered your head against his neck, your body already tightening with pleasure from the feel of his finger rubbing against your clit.
Five kissed your forehead as you clung to him, his words tickling the shell of your ear as he spoke. "Wanna give our audience a show? You were amazing the other night, but I’m sure if we both try really hard, we can do better this time.”
You whimpered, trying to put your thighs together so you could increase the friction. Five brought another finger into the game trailing his digits up and down before flicking them against you, making you let out a small moan.
A shout came from the other room. “Hey! While you guys are in there, you should make some more popcorn!”
Twisting just enough, you snatched a bag of microwave pop off the counter, furiously tearing into the plastic with your teeth before spitting it out. You reached back, yanking the microwave open, carelessly tossing it in there without looking.
After you slammed the door shut, while smiling at you looking so fucking cocky, Five helpfully reached up, punching in the popcorn button before he hit start. He raised a brow. “Looks like I better get to work. We have a countdown, sweetheart.”
Moving his fingers quickly, jerking you hard, you let out a low groan that got much higher pitched when you felt the warmth of his erection nudging your hip.
Riding Five’s glorious fingers, but thinking of him slowly entering you with his heavy cock instead had your eyes rolling back in your head. The agonizing pace he was setting making your moans of complaint louder.
“That’s it, baby, louder,” he encouraged, gazing at you with half lidded eyes that were so beautiful.
“I need more,” you hissed, gritting your teeth.
“So needy,” he teased, just before his finger dipped inside you again, only this time crooked up just a little before he pulled it out again.
Then, just as you thought the bastard was going to really start finger fucking you, he slipped his hand out of your pants leaving your cunt clenching around nothing. After your waistband snapped against your tensed abs, Five brought his slicked finger to his mouth, making a naughty show of sucking it clean.  
“I fucking hate you!” you growled.
If he tried to leave you with blue balls again, you were going to kill him!
Five gave you a sly grin and you frowned. “I’m going to make you take that back,” he menacingly sang, then suddenly your pants and underwear were tugged down, and your legs were forcefully spread open by his knees wedging yours wide.
His hands come up your sides, moving under your shirt, over your rib cage. His eyes looked into yours, watching you for signs of distress as his fingers moved up, traveling over the flattened planes of your pecs.
You closed your eyes and you felt Five rest his forehead against yours.
His hand smoothed down to your hips again, stopping.
You took a deep breath.
“You are the most handsome man I have ever seen,” he breathed, throwing you off even more.
To say your senses were heightened was an understatement. Every sound your friends made in the other room only added to the tension brewing. All they had to do was come around the corner and they could see you back up against your counter with Five dominatingly standing between your legs as your pants and underwear lay in a heap at your ankles.
Five moved his forehead away from yours. “I will stop if you want me to. If not, you know what to say,” he soothed. “You want me to suck you off, right here. Right now. With them listening.”
 Little explosions started to go off inside the microwave.
 You had never been so hot and bothered in your life. You moaned desperately, “Five, you fucking-!"
"Shh...” Five teased as his hand moved up over your mouth to silence you. "Can’t have you getting too loud. Don’t want anyone thinking I’m in here doing awful things to you.” He leaned in, his breath ruffling the short ends of your hair, his words ominously intimidating. “I want to hear you beg.”
“Please,” you whimpered under his hot fingers.
"Sorry, what was that?" Five asked, sweet as honey while moving his hand a little so you could say it louder.
“Please!”
“That’s it.” Five’s sinful looking grin spread across his entire face.
He got down on his knees. Not taking his eyes off you, he pushed up your t-shirt just a little so he could leave a trail of wet kisses along the fine trail of hair leading from your belly button downward.
He let out a heavy breath, hovering over your sex. “You’re perfect, you know that, right?” he said, then his tongue drug along your length before flicking against the tip of your swollen clit.
“Oh, FUCK,” you loudly cursed.
You tried to relax and keep your hips still as Five licked at you slowly, but with the way his tongue was pushing between your thickened folds it was impossible
A bitten whimper croaked out of you as he licked up a stripe while slowly palming his own dick. You lowered to your head, your fingers threading through his hair, tightening.
You gasped when Five began sucking you. His hum of approval and the sting of pleasure from his teeth accidentally dragging as he sucked a little too roughly, left your thighs shaking and the next thing you knew, you were grinding down on him trying to get more.
Undeterred, by you humping his face, Five continued to contentedly lap at you. At this point, you didn’t know what to focus on, the pleasure that was tearing through your veins, the screams coming for movie, the people who could come in the kitchen at any second, or the fact that there was no way Five was able to breathe correctly with the way he was going at it, his whole face buried between your legs, fucking you.
Everything clouded over. His hands were plastered to your thighs, his hair was sticking out in a million places, and his tongue kept probing inside your entrance, devouring you before he came back up to harshly flick at your clit again.
Your body fought against the invasive sensation. Vulgar noises were being forced out of you, but you couldn’t cum no matter how badly you wanted to.
The microwave beeped.
“I-I fff-fu-ah-ck,” you stammered as you tugged at Five’s dark waves, attempting to separate your throbbing sex from his mouth, but he wasn’t having any of that.
He grasped your waist, holding you in place, hungrily demolishing you. He was like an animal, the scratchiness of his very light stubble only adding to the brutality of what he was doing to you.
It felt like every nerve in your body was being touched at once. You were being torn apart more and more with each trail of his tongue and rub of his fingers, pinching and pulling you between forefinger and thumb as he sucked your clit like a dick.
As your orgasm hit, it felt electric, a flash after flash of hot white light.
Five made you cum so hard that you totally forgot that he was fisting his own cock, but he sure was, and he was loudly moaning while doing it and still sucking you with the most tender of kisses, making sure not to leave you until you’d ridden out all your crashing waves of pleasure.  
When he finally came up for air, his face from his eyes down was shining and his smug grin proved that he could have cared less that he was a mess.
 “So, did you enjoy cumming on my face?” he rhetorically questioned.
He lifted himself off the ground, staring at you as he leaned in, connecting your lips, making you taste yourself on his tongue.
“I am not sure. It was okay, I guess,” you said, smirking when he pulled away, wiping his face and then yours with the sleeve of his shirt.
“Maybe one more try, with a little more tongue and teeth this time and you’ll have a more definitive answer?” he suggested.
He started to drop back down, and even though your body felt like jello, you pulled him back up easily enough.
As you were reaching to pick up your pants, Five took advantage of you dropping your guard to quickly spin you around, your socked feet slipping on the floor before he aggressively pulled your hips out, making you present your ass to him.
You heard him hastily unhooking his belt, the metal clanking together before you heard his zipper coming down, then his body molded to your backside, the tip of his thick cock dangling between your legs.
“We aren’t done and I’m not stopping until they know you’re mine,” he said while lovingly massaging the side of your ass.
He started nudging himself against your inner thigh and you let out a little whimper. “So cute, just like your little dick,” he mocked. Then he moved his hand around you, tugging you out a little more from the counter so he could grope you, making you shudder.
He slapped your ass hard, the thwack sure to make everyone’s head in the other room spin in your direction. You jolted up. You heard your friends laughing, then Five spanked you again. "Fuck!” you cried, moving your ass against his cock even tighter.
“You really want it, don’t you baby,” Five growled in your ear, slapping your ass again.
“Please!" you begged with your head falling back against Five’s shoulder before rolling to the side so you could see him.
“You want danger?” he purred as he yanked up his shirt, letting his predatory eyes narrow at the sight of his cock wedged between your cheeks.
You said nothing, so, looking like a mad man, he reached up, taking hold of your neck.
You whined and squirmed in his grasp as his other hand cupped you bare. He slid his fingers inside as his thumb swirled over your slippery clit. Before you could make a sound, he started to choke you. 
He fingered your hole roughly, as he cut off the flow of oxygen to your brain. You couldn’t even think. You were drowning with desire, your body submitting.
Five started to rut his hips into you as you lost your mind, moaning into the palm of his hand.
That’s when Klaus called out. “How’s that popcorn coming, boys? Better not be any dick in it!”
As Five fucked into you and his second finger slide inside, you all but screamed through his fingers. “Mmmfff-fuck, Ff-ive!”
If Five hadn’t thought to muzzle you, you were being so loud, it wouldn’t just be the people in the living room aware of what he was doing to you.
As if that wasn’t enough, Five bit down on your shoulder through your shirt, thrusting as hard and as fast as he could go.
You felt your orgasm building all the way from your toes to your stomach. Your calves painfully flexed as you bucked your hips, trying to get more.
Five let out a moan of his own, and the pleasure of his fingers, the dizziness of being choked, along with the pain from his teeth marking had you clenching around his fingers.
The only sounds that could be heard in the room were the sounds of squelching, your moans, and Five’s sexy grunting.
Yanking your face back, he took his hand off your mouth, forcing his tongue onto yours, aiming to take you for all you were worth.
Your walls contracted around him, spilling fresh liquid pleasure with his every thrust.
His breath and his movements started getting more erratic, and he let out a few manic sounding noises.
He only stopped slipping his dick up and down your crack for a second to reposition himself. Apparently, the new angle was even better for him because when he started back up, his fingers in you started to move again too and that got you cursing and gasping into his hand again.
"Good boy. Let it out. Your pussy is mine now,” he growled, but he didn’t let you let it out as he clamped down on your mouth harder and slammed into you with all the energy he had.
You peaked again, him clinging to you, your stifled gasps hissing through his fingers.
“So perfect,” he breathed, then he let you free, the air filling your lungs doing nothing to clear your clouded mind and you helplessly slumped over.
One of his hands kept a tight hold on your hip, the other taking care of his own need. The sight of you bent over on the counter in front of him had Five grunting and growling as he stroked himself, his cum splattering all over your abused ass.
When Five was done, he crashed into you, pulling you up in a lovers embrace from behind, panting harder than he had been the entire time. The second he had enough air to speak, he did. “That was- Fuck."
You were out of it, legs shaking, mouth agape, head lolling to the side. He grabbed your face and languidly kissed you before breaking away, his lips moving along your sweat moistened neck as he said, “I want you and only you and I don’t care who knows. Don’t you ever question that again.”
“Ready or not, the men out here are demanding a proof of life check after that beautiful screaming performance, and we need more sustenance, so pull your pants up! I am coming in,” Klaus suddenly shouted.
Scrambling, you and Five both untangled yourselves. He snatched your hand towel off the counter, taking it to your butt cheeks, doing his best to wipe you first, then himself.
Dropping to the floor, he started pulling your sweatpants up, then sure you had them in hand, Five started trying to fix his own rumpled clothing.
“Is my little brother behaving himself?” Klaus questioned and by the way he said it, you could tell he had a huge smile even before he rounded the corner, eyeing you both up proudly.
“Why wouldn’t I be?” Five fired back, with his pants only just zipped up, the ends of his belt hanging in front of the prominent tent he was still sporting. 
“Oh, I don’t know… Sounded like you were getting a little frisky in here is all,” Klaus replied.
Five reached over, opening the microwave, throwing the bag of popcorn at his brother.
As one would expect, Klaus started tossing the bag, hand to hand. “Ouch! Hot! Hot!”
You couldn’t help but laugh. That’s how mind blowingly dazed you were. You could tell it took a great deal of effort for Five to pry himself from you and you were still having a hard time standing up straight, so you had no idea how he was composing himself so well but then again, he didn’t just cum three times.
“If only I could blink us out of here,” he muttered while sticking the prong of his belt through the length, tightening it as he looked at you fumbling the strings on your sweatpants.
“Blink?” you questioned, unable to stop laughing as you said it because for the life of you, you couldn’t perform the simple task of tying a knot.
“What my adorable brother is referring to,” Klaus said, “is a thing we used to call a thing he used to do.” He reached out, ruffling Five’s already fucked up hair. “He’s super fast, but you already knew that,” he said while winking at you, “He used to be able to blink or as the common man says, telapor-"
“If you don’t shut your yapper, I am going to shut it for you,” Five snapped, while reaching over to tie your pants up since you’d failed and they were already slipping down.
“Oh… Not going there yet. Okay,” Klaus said as he shrugged off whatever Five was angrily trying to get him to shut up about. “You two joining us for the second movie?” Klaus mumbled with a handful of freshly popped kernels in his mouth.
You looked at Five. He took you by the hand, grabbing the bottle of liquor off the counter in his other, leading you out there.
Moving to your spot on the couch, Five sat down first, pulling you down next to him. As soon as you were seated, he wrapped his arms around you, pulling you in tighter, his lower leg hooking yours to him as he took your throw blanket, tossing it over you both.
“So, you guys a thing now,” your buddy next to him asked while giving you a smart-ass grin.
Five glanced at you. He squeezed his hand that was already in yours. “Yes,” you firmly stated and just like the amazing friends they were, they all let it go. They could see this is what you wanted. It was written all over your hopeful face.
You leaned back against Five’s warmth, the comforting rise and fall of his chest reassuring you that everything was as perfect as it seemed.
Every so often, as his fingers absentmindedly trailed down your arm, Five would softly kiss the side of your cheek, then nuzzle his face into your hair.
~~~
When you woke, hours later to one of your friends leaving and Five attempting not to wake you as he quietly answered something his brother had just said, you had no idea what time it was.
“Klaus was planning on staying at my place,” Five whispered. “We have that family birthday thing early in the morning and we are riding together.” He slid you out from under him. “You want me to carry you to your room?” he asked, as he righted himself.
“I doubt you could,” you said back while smiling up at him in the dim light as you stretched your legs out, accidentally kicking your zonked out friend who was sprawled out on the other end of the couch.
“Goodnite,” Klaus whispered, before he went out the door.
Swooping down, Five gently kissed you and kept on kissing you until you started to laugh over how obviously he didn’t want to go. “Best night of my life,” he chuckled, his own smile stretching as he finally pulled away. “I’ll be back sometime early afternoon. Can I see you again?”
Stroking your fingers along his jaw, you whispered back, “You better.”
Five’s tired eyes softened even more. He brushed his lips against yours one more time.
Then he was gone.
~~~
Back to reality, your mind lost in a past that doesn’t exist anymore while your body remains stuck in a present form of hell you can’t escape, lying there in your bed, you keep trying to work through your memories of Five.
For his part, like he always does at night, Five stays with you in the only way he feels that he can, over 60 years of time separating you as he sits in his chair in front of the Infinite Switchboard.
After thrashing around in your blankets, reliving things you don’t want to let go, giving into your body’s most primal urges, you shove your hand in your pants, digging your fingers against your clit, tugging and pulling and rubbing. Breathing heavily, your release comes and goes way too fast, giving you nothing to replace the man you refuse to let go.
Finally, worn out and mentally broken, your breathing slows, and your eyes close.
You fall into a fitful sleep, your face pinched with the same stress it’s had since you entered your apartment earlier that night.
A few minutes before this, with his reddened eyes darting around as he tries to squash his own anguish, trying in vain to convince himself that what he’s seeing isn’t because of him, Five throws his arms down on the messy desk space, burying his face in the fold of his arm.
You’re upset, that much he is willing to admit.
You have old news clippings of him and his faded collector cards, and other silly trinkets from the days the Umbrella Academy meant something to the world.
You only have his.
Going through the list of issues in his head, Five comes up with only more problems with all this.
All that is something, but it's not like you would be harboring some old crush on the nerdy little 13-year-old he was in those pictures, because back when those cards were cool, you were only four years old! Back then, you probably didn't even know your address, let alone who the kids who lived at the Umbrella Academy were. But despite that, you clearly have something going on and it’s clearly aimed at him.
You moan repeatedly as the blankets covering you shuffle.
“Fuck…” Five breathes as he looks up, realizing what you are doing.
What you have going on is clearly at least partially a horny thing, and an angry thing, and fuck, fuck, FUCK!
Five can’t stop looking at you writhing against your hand.
He shifts his legs apart, refusing to give his hardening cock the attention it's screaming for. It’s bad enough that he’s watching you jerk off, but doing that with you, like this…
No.
“God damn it!” he curses, kicking his legs out, throwing his hands back behind his head as he forces himself to look at the floor.
No one else remembers, so there is no way you do! 
This has to be something else causing this, right?
Swallowing the lump in his throat, he looks back up. Your breaths are slowing. Your hand slips up along your stomach, laying limply against your t-shirt.
Your eyes stay closed and Five wants so badly to kiss the lids covering them. Since he can’t, he does what he’s always done, he imagines the things he wants.
Shutting his own eyes, he imagines himself there with you, protectively folded around you, your bodies illuminated by the muted silhouettes from the leaves fluttering outside in the canopy of trees outside your window. 
He can almost feel himself kissing the moonbeam dancing across your cheek, flickering along the ridge of your nose-almost.
There’s no warmth to this dream, no sensation of your touch lovingly holding him back.
This is all there had ever been for Five for nearly a lifetime, but now, thanks to you, he knows what it’s like to have something real, and now he is drowning in the shocking reality of his endless loneliness.
Chilled, but unwilling to move to an office to throw himself down on something more comfortable, when his breathing melts into a rhythm of rest, Five floats away with you, going into a nightmarish dreamscape, a place moments before the world fell apart and he lost you.
~~~
As your sleep deepens, you start tossing and turning, your mind projecting images of you bursting out the doors of your apartment. You didn’t care how terrified you were or that you had no weapon to defend yourself against whatever was happening. You had to get to Five.
You took off, sprinting down the sidewalk in the direction of the explosions, rather than in the opposite direction like everyone else was doing.
The sky was casting a strange glow of orange and violet light over everything. It looked like an alien landscape, not the loud city with its shops and business filled with people doing normal things, unless you considered running for their life normal.
You knew it was crazy for you of all people to think you could do anything to help, but it was also crazy that the Five apparently had superpowers, but you'd seen it for yourself on your TV, and the people with him did too.
You kept on, moving along, seeing the destruction getting worse the closer you got to where the news had shown the fighting.
The air near the ground was thick with black smoke as you got closer, but you kept going, knowing from what you’d seen on the news that Five was there, but nothing could have prepared you for it when you rounded a corner and saw all of them. Like some kind of science fiction movie on crack, everywhere you looked, unexplainable things were happening that shouldn’t be.
It was madness, all of it, the way Five was disappearing and reappearing, the way they were shooting laser beams from their eyes and throwing cars like they were nothing. Klaus was there too, like some kind of oracle, casting his hands out, making phantom-like figures appear out of nowhere, all the luminous bodies he’d created readily joining the fight.
Either brave or stupid, you started to cross the battlefield of flipped cars that lay between you and them, staying down, trying not to get hit by the barrage of bullets and other things flying in your direction.  
Five was yelling, calling for everyone to get together. He wasn’t okay, you could see that. He was staggering, trying so hard to stand in the storm that was enveloping him.
He fell to his knees, screaming for them. 
Blood smeared across his face as his hand came up, wiping his cheek. 
The blood was gushing from his nose and seeping down his neck from his ears, but he kept screaming for them. The near blinding light kept growing, extending out from his hands and entire body.
Between broken car windows, you watched as the group gathered around him, two of them looking like they were sending out some kind of force field that was keeping them safe from the bullets and the fire-like aura that was glowing down from the sky.
Then, to your horror, you realized the fire was actually coming from some of them. Their flesh was cracked and blackened, like lava was running under their skin.
They were burning. 
Five was burning!
Your voice cut through the air, penetrating the chaos. “FIVE!”
Just then, extreme pain was the only way to describe what you felt. 
A deafening blast sent you flying, slamming your spine against the door of an upside-down car. Pain radiated through you. You reactively curled in on yourself. You desperately clasped your hands over your ears, trying to block out the high-pitched sound that was trying to stab your brains out, but you painfully realized that the ringing wasn’t something you could stop.
You could hardly move, gasping for air that wouldn’t fill your lungs, but then suddenly Five was next to you, eyes wide, searching you over, saying something, but all you could see was his lips moving as his hands frantically moved over you, trying to cover all the places where your clothes were becoming wet with blooming circles of red.
You watched Five’s mouth repeating the words, “I will fix this.” He was saying it over and over.
Then, just like that, stinging pelts of liquid hit your face as the side of Five’s skull ripped open.
You watched as if in slow motion as the inside of his head spilled out like a macabre brain soup. Then you watched in horror as he tumbled over, your shell-shocked body not working fast enough to catch him.
The side of Five’s ashen face slammed into the glass covered concrete.
Scrambling to your knees, you pulled him to you, his broken head rolling limply in your lap as you screamed. 
Your tears mixed with his blood. 
You didn’t even notice Klaus until he was right there. He came sprinting to a stop a few yards away, seeing you and his brother.
“Help him,” you begged. You refused to take your eyes from Five’s, then Klaus took off, shouting something.
“No, no, no! Please, no!” you wailed as Five remained motionless, legs twisted in a way that made him look so small.
Five was not small. He was strong and he was…
He was everything.
Suddenly a wind from nowhere started whipping up tiny bits of debris from all around you. Looking up, you saw the impossible. There was a ghostly image of Five out in the street next to his brother where they were standing in a blue-ish purple electrical storm filled with glistening marigold, fire and light.
You could see Five over there, but he was also still with you, his warm blood matting his dark strands of hair, coating your fingers as you cradled his head as if you could fix the damage done to him if you willed the hole in him closed, but his empty green eyes continued to stare off at nothing.
The torrents of energy that Five had been violently projecting before he’d appeared over by you grew stronger, making it near impossible to make out anything happening over by them, but you were able to see him out there, lightning filled hands clenched like claws as fire like sparkles swirled around him and the strange static and twinkling lights of power weren’t just coming from Five. It was coming from all of them, as if mixing.
Dazed, and evidently not stable, they all simultaneously fell to their knees, but Five didn’t this time.
His face was no longer spattered with his blood as he looked up, past his siblings as they fell to the ground as if they were puppets whose strings had just been cut.
As your eyes met, it was as if you were seeing Five for the first time ever, seeing all versions of him, and it wasn’t just happening to him, though the ghostlike projections of Five were dramatically different compared to those of his siblings. He was older in some of them, but you were sure it was him, with that funny mustache and his same soft eyes.
Five was that man, and then he wasn’t again, he was just a boy, so young, so angry, nothing but skin and bones, his tormented face covered in ash and grime. 
All of them, all the different versions of them were morphing, snapping together with alternate images of themselves, like a flip book that’s pages clapped with thunder as they turned.
Then, out of nowhere, out of anyone who could have been out there in all that madness, Reginald Hargreeves, the richest man in the world, was towering over you. His expression was serene as he looked down at the dead boy you were crying over. Then he looked up, his expression not scared at all as he said, “Hold on to him. It will all be over soon.”
Bleeding out and going into shock, you looked back out at the other Five. Even in the distance, you could see his mouth. 
His mouth! The one you knew intimately, pulled up just a little as he gave you a dreamy smile, as if he was seeing something in all this that you couldn’t.
You screamed Five’s name as the ball of fire inside him began to consume what was left of his crumbling body.
“No!” you cried, but this time Five couldn’t hear it.
The bubble around them burst, life and death, creation and destruction, you, Five, all of it and time itself, all tied to him and the tale of rebirth, and it was coming for you in a wall of fire.
Your own terrified scream echoing inside your head was the last thing you heard.
Then you were all gone.
~~~
“NO!” You cry out, trying to free yourself from your knotted blankets. You’re in the darkness of your bedroom again, no longer holding Five’s dead body while you watched the ghost of him in the distance, being taken away by an otherworldly fire.
Your heart feels like it could rip out of your chest, it's pounding so hard.
Your hands come up, digging at your eyes as if you can make it all go away, but the heat of your tears is as real as the pain of losing him. “Please no,” you helplessly whimper as you pull your legs up under your arms so you can drop your head between your knees. “I need you, Five,” you sob, your body shuddering.
“I am here, please don’t cry, I am so sorry.”
Your head shoots up, your eyebrows flying halfway up your face, the thumping in your chest threatening to do you in as you blink, over and over, seeing Five right there, at the side of your bed, looking like he just woke up, but looking as beautifully disheveled in his three-piece suit as he always does.
“Ff-Five?” your voice cracks.
“Hey, handsome,” he quietly breathes as he sinks down on the bed next to you, his legs dangling over the side as he reaches over, gently brushing a sweat-dampened piece of hair out of your eyes.
“You you-you-"
“I know,” Five says, pulling you to him.
Arms around him, he squeezes you tight. You breathe in, your face buried against his collar because you’re still not sure he’s real.
“I didn’t think it was possible, but-” He stops, pulling back enough to make you look at him. His eyes glaze over in thought as he lets out a shaky breath. “No one else but us remembered, and I didn’t-" His teary words catch in his throat. “I didn’t want to hurt you. I never should have-” A single tear rolls down his cheek. “I never should have let this happen, but nothing could have prepared me for you and how you made me feel, and I- Even if you remember me, I shouldn’t be here, but I heard you crying, and I had to-"
He tries to pull away.
“NO! Don’t you dare go!” You give Five’s shoulders a little shake, “Don’t you dare leave me again! And what the hell do you mean you heard me? Where were you, in my fucking closet!”
“No, I was pathetically hiding out in a musty old office building in 1955.”
“Okay- Okay-" Your heart is racing so hard you can’t think but that makes no sense. “What the fuck, Five!”
He lowers his face like he wants to disappear and that only makes you cling to him tighter.
“The place I am talking about, and my association with it is a long story,” he starts, “-and I promise I will tell you everything if you want me to, but the reason I was there now was because it’s the only place I could go to see you.” He looks up, his eyes filling. “There’s a machine I invented, it lets the operator dial in places and times. I have missed you so fucking much,” he rambles, clearly spiraling, but you refuse to let him go no matter how confused and mad you are.
“Look, the things you say are just- Yeah.” You let out a puff of air, shaking your head over all this craziness. “But I want you! I don’t care about the rest!"
“I’m not who you think I am. I have done so many horrible things,” he interrupts.
“Five, I know that you are so many more things than what I thought you were in the beginning, but I want all of them. I saw you! All of you! You had a mustache for Christ Sake! I know who you are!”
“You don’t know all of it,” he whispers.
“I don’t care! You saved us. I don’t understand it, but I know you did. You were the only one in the end before everything disappeared. I thought you were dead!”
“I know.”
“You told me that I’m the first person you wanted to open yourself up to,” you continue, “Did you mean it when you said that?”
His lower lip quivers as he nods. “I meant every word of it, and you are still all I want.”
“Then don’t leave me again!” you shout at him, pushing him down on your bed.
Five still looks totally lost but with your insistence, he surrenders himself to you heavily crawling on top of him.
Fully reclined, you throw your leg over his, coming down at his side to tuck your head under his chin, effectively detaining him but letting him breathe. You can hear his heart hammering in his chest as he looks down at you peering up at him. 
His eyes search yours he quietly asks, “Are you sure you still want this?”
“Yes, I am sure,” you insist.
His long fingers trace a line up your back, skating the surface of your shirt.
“Please talk to me, Five. I meant it when I said I want this with you more than anything.”
“Why?” he questions, sounding so dejected.
You sit up, straddling him so you can keep him trapped but also take him on, face to face. “Because even with all the crazy things you told me, knowing what I know now, I think you were telling me the truth about all of it, and you know what, I am not scared. I don’t care how old you are, or if you were an assassin. I don’t care what you’ve done to get here. All that matters is you are.”
“You mean that?” he whispers, reaching around you, his long fingers tracing a soothing line up your back.
You nod and his hand comes up, moving to the back of your head, pulling your lips to his in a chaste kiss that ends all too fast.
You try to kiss him again but Five turns his head, squirming away, not letting you.
Your eyebrows come together in frustration.
“You know… For all my mistakes, I finally thought I had it all figured out, but then this…” His voice trails off as his hands move around your backside, grabbing your ass. “This never should have happened. You weren’t supposed to remember, but you evidently do, or you wouldn’t be trying to hump my leg because you know that getting me hard is going to help you get your way.”
You look down where your crotch is pinning his quad, and he laughs.
You’re just about to tell the asshole you are not trying to hump his leg when he says, “The reason I think you remember,” He cracks a sad smile, making him look so beautifully broken, “The reason you remembered, is because I fell in love with you. A part of you was with me in the end and I couldn’t let it go. You’re a part of me now whether you like it or not.”
“You love me?”
“More than anything.”
In the subsequent silence, your shoulders wither, a single thought floating among the sea of worries in your mind.
You love him too.
You come at him, there’s no stopping you from kissing him. Like you are doing to him, Five’s hands grasp at your body, everywhere they can reach, caressing, groping, pinching, anything to feel each other. 
Jutting your cunt across his thigh, you assault his lips, drawing your teeth across his pout in retribution for him thinking you wouldn’t want this.
Stroking his neck, his hands holding you in place, he moans as you grind his leg. Adding to your pleasure, Five begins exploring your neck with his tongue, tasting your skin, licking the sweat of your nightmare clean off as you rut into him, panting and gasping, filling the quiet of the small room.
Boldly sticking your hand down your pants, rubbing your cock, you lower your voice as deep as you can as you ask, “Did you watch me do this?”
“Yes,” Five rasps, his hands moving down, suddenly taking you by the waist. Like lightning striking, the air around you lights up, every nerve ending in your body comes alive as you’re flung through a swirling storm of sapphire, coming back to the present a millisecond later with your back slamming on your mattress.
Head still spinning, Five falls over you from the air, his body still glowing in his whirl of magical light. His irises dance with embers as he dives in, kissing your neck again.
“What. The Fuck Was That? Did you just teleport me?” you deliriously groan as he attacks you.
"No, I blinked you," he corrects, "It's a spontaneous reaction to having a very naughty boy trying to fuck my lap,” Five informs you with his lips at your earlobe, before kissing down, gnawing on your jaw, as he attempts to blindly unbutton his shirt.
Oh, my God, this man...
Not satisfied with the speed, you begin to help him, and his smile at your impatience is almost as hot as the sight of him laying over you, shrugging it off. Five is nothing but lean valleys of muscle, all pointing to the dangerous weapon he’s packing in his pants, but interestingly enough, his famous Umbrella Academy tattoo on his wrist isn’t the only tattoo he’s got.
Seeing geometrically balanced circles and lines criss-crossing in the middle of his chest must have you making the funniest looking face because Five starts laughing.
“This,” He points to the black and gray washes of ink marking him. “This is evidence of one of my many blunders through time, but it’s worth the pain and looking like a fucking idiot if it means I get to see you looking at me like that.”
You trace the lines. “You are beautiful, Five, all of you.”
“As long as you think so, because I think I’m stuck with it now,. I am a complete package of the old me, the young me, and the tattooed and very fucking horny me,” he says before much more seriously asking, "You ok taking yours off too?"
You nod and Five dips low, using his nose, he starts nudging your t-shirt shirt up. He playfully sucks and nips you all the way up to one of the darkened pink scars under your pecs. Your breath hitches as he traces a line over it with his fingertip, then slowly begins to kiss you there too, his teeth grazing your nipple for good measure.
“So perfect,” he hums, sending a direct signal from you’re the now hardened nub all the way down to your groin. 
As you’re reeling over him saying that and the feeling of him flicking his tongue across your other pec, Five’s hands start moving up your sides, slowly lifting your shirt over your head.
Your legs tense, fighting against the growing ache between them as Five kisses down your torso, marking you where the skin dips at your hip, the palm of his hand hot as it rests over your abs, firmly holding you down.
Already trembling, you let out a small cry of desperation.
Gazing up at you with his pupils blown dark with desire, Five tears open the button holding your jeans closed. Lifting for him, he pushes your remaining clothes down your flushed thighs.
With you fully naked, your bodies roll slightly as Five comes down on the bed next to you. You spread your legs and just as fast, he reaches between them, rolling your clit between thumb and forefinger.
You gasp your approval, “Fuck yeah, don’t stop.”
“Fuck, you’re so hard for me,” Five groans, just below your ear, sending a shiver zipping up your spine as a gush of wet drips out of you. “I can’t get enough of your dick,” he says while playfully pecking your jaw.
“Same,” you gasp, your enlarged clit so sensitive, you can’t help but whine like a puppy when his hand starts to firmly rub it.
Your hand reactively grips his shoulder painfully hard the faster he goes, and his eyes narrow dangerously in response.
Knowing without words what you need, barely thirty seconds into it, two fingers start jabbing inside you, aiming at your sweet spot.
“Holy fuck,” you breath before Five can capture your mouth in a hard kiss again.
As your hips jerk into his hand, Five’s hand snakes down along your side to rub his own cock, all the while he never stops sucking at your neck or giving you needly little licks in between his kisses. Soon the nips get hard enough to make you throw your head back, thrashing.
With Five jerking himself, bucking against you, your hands grip at the sheets, hanging on for dear life as your walls start spasming.
Even though you’re flailing, moaning loud as your hips jerkily fuck into his fingers, you can hear that Five is humming all sorts of dirty things, the vibrations of his words against your throat sending your brain even further down the spiral of your fuckedy fuck land.
Having brought you over the edge, he pulls out. His hand on your thigh moves around you, gripping your ass to pull you in closer as he rolls on top of you.
Five licks at your lips before he slides his hands down to the back of your thighs to pick you up, grinding your crotch into his restrained shaft. “God, I want to fuck you so badly,’ he growls before crashing your lips together again.
Five’s powerful body bears down on you, the drag of his cock between your legs too much but also not enough. Encouraging him to keep up what he was doing, only with his pants off, you try to push his pants down, even as he’s still urgently rocking his hips into you.
“Fuck,” he groans, his teeth grazing your neck as he gasps for air. His hips twitch to a stop at the feeling of his cock about to spring free.
“I want all of you, Five,” you breathe, holding his cheeks under your palms as you pull his head up, making him look at you.
“Are you sure?”
“More than anything. I love you, Five.”
His soft eyes light up as if this wasn’t already obvious. He smiles down at you with an adoring look, caressing your face and pushing your hair aside as you blush under his loving gaze. He leans in to kiss along your jaw and down your neck as he scrambles to remove his pants with you helping him along, hooking your fingers under his tailored waistband, dragging them down his thighs, pushing them the rest of the way off with your feet.
“Oh Fuck,” Five groans as he lowers back down and his cock slips over the moist heat between your legs.
Instinctively, he starts to rut against you again. Before you can do more than hum a moan through your pinched lips, you feel the head of Five’s dick align with your throbbing hole. 
“Protection?” Five impatiently asks, coming to a full stop.
Drunk with desire, all you can do is shake your head no, but the message is clear. You don’t need it.
Tenderly squeezing your ass, with his eyes locked to yours and his voice barely above a whisper, Five asks, “You ready?”
“Yes,” you breathe, keeping your fingers threaded in his thick dark hair, holding him in place with one hand, the other sliding from his muscular back to gripe his shoulder.
He starts to push slowly. “Aw fuck” you moan as just the head of his cock slips in. You throw your head into the pillow, biting your lip to keep from crying out.
Five’s warm breath slowly fans over your neck. He’s not moving a single inch. “Does it hurt?”
“It- It’s good,” you huff, letting out a tense breath as you lift your hips higher, letting him know you can take it.
“That’s it, baby,” he soothes, as your body tightens and quivers along the thick length slowly filling you.
Not even full deep, your brain feels like it’s just flashed on and off and it’s not at all working right.
"You’re so fucking gorgeous," Five patiently huffs, his focus on gauging your every reaction, holding himself still as possible.
“More,” you whine.
You clench involuntarily, letting out a low moan when Five works his hips forward, then back a little, a pleasant change that has you twitching for him even more.
He dips to kiss you, gasping for breath as he opens you even more. Too much for him at once, he takes his kisses to your neck.
He takes a moment to pull half-out of you before digging back in. Firm, slow, and steady, he fucks his hips into you while he bears down with a hiss. Your walls clench him tight, the extra pressure drawing out a moan from both of you.
Your eyes flutter closed as your fingers scratch against Five back. His hips press up, aiming to get as deep as possible, where he stays for one moment before pulling out and thrusting halfway in again and again.
"Fuck, Five, fuck," you slur out as your body begins to slip and slide across your sheets.
He grabs hold of your knee, pushing it back to meet your shoulder, falling into you deeper on his next thrust and you let out wet gasp, before he starts fucking you at a maddening pace, in and out, in shallow thrusts.
As he looks between your bodies, watching with an adorable fascination as his cock disappears inside you, you cry out, “Faster.”
Five obliges.
He really starts moving and the feel of him pumping his whole length inside you has your body arching and writhing up from the bed, lips parted in broken moans that fill the room and your entire apartment and probably your entire floor.
“Yes, Five. Fuck yes! “Don’t stop-fucking-fff,” you stammer, moving your ass up slightly which drives him deeper and brings on more breathless curses from you both. He’s so deep each time his body meets yours he’s knocking the wind from your lungs in breathy consonants and vowels of nonsense.
“Mmmmffff- aaah-ahhh-"
“Fuck-you-rrr-such-ah-good-boy, so tight,” he incoherently gasps along with you, as he pistons his cock into you, his thick tip fucking your cunt just right.
You’re plunging into a freefall, the coiling inside you causing you to cry out his name. At the sound of it, Five’s mouth finds yours, sloppily kissing you.
You’re both breathing too heavily for the kiss to last very long because breathing through your noses isn’t giving either of you enough oxygen. Breaking away, his forehead presses to your shoulder, a curtain of his dark hair falling around it as his strong pelvic slams into you.
"Please- fuck- harder-" you plead, and your magical super boy grants your wish.
Your eyes roll back in your head as Five pounds you harder and faster. Head spinning, your heart feeling like it might burst, your entire body is screaming for release.
“Come on, cum for me,” Five growls before resting his palm over your clit, thrusting his hand in time to his hips.
Your brain is getting shook loose with each slam of his body smacking into yours, and your bed frame isn't doing much better as it creaks and thumps into the wall in a pattern that matches your curses.
"Fuck- Fuck- FUCK-"
You’re reduced to disjointed moans as you fall apart. Shaking head to toe through a mind-melting orgasm, the throbbing intensity as you cum hits you over and over until it completely overwhelms your senses and leaves you speechless.
“That’s right, cream on daddy’s cock,” Five encourages as he quickly flips his head back, his dampened hair falling right back in front of his eyes as he smirks.
“Five- Fu-ffff,” you wetly gasp.
“Ready for another one?” he asks, still undulating his cock as he quirks an eyebrow.
“Ww-wah? How are you doing this,” you ask, meaning how the fuck is he still fucking you! He said he’d been with someone else before, but… Fuck!
His smirk only gets bigger. “Lots of practice with a very receptive inanimate object, named Dolores,” he replies. “Now roll over. Don’t make me count to three,” he warns, before suddenly pulling out, leaving you reeling, his hands on your hips, rolling you over before he pulls your ass high in the air.
The heat of his cock hits your entrance with zero resistance and your body jumps forward when you feel his balls hit your ass.
That move gets you both hissing out strings of discombobulated profanities again as Five holds himself stock still, his eyes closing tight as if he’s in pain..
“Dolores?” you manage to choke.
“Desperate times,” he huffs in way of explanation, then just as the shocking statement he just made and the jolt of him bottoming out is starting to subside, Five smacks your ass, and he’s back to it, fucking into you with a relentless pace.
“Fu-ua-uch-yea-ah, so good,” he disjointedly praises as he rides your ass, hooking his feet inside your ankles so you can’t close your legs.
Your body tightens as his thrusts speed up. You shudder, mouth falling open with a shocked moan as you feel Five’s cock rutting against your insides, demanding every inch of your attention.
With your face down in your mattress, you gasp against moistened fabric. Your shaky fingers clutch at your fitted bedsheet, Five’s brutal pace making steady smack, smack, smack sounds.
You still have no idea how he’s doing it, but Five just keeps on going like his real superpower is that he’s the fucking Energizer Bunny.
Pulling your limp body up to his, Five’s face nuzzles against the back of your neck, hips rolling hard and fast, the sweat from your flush bodies only making it easier for him to fuck into like he’s a well-oiled machine.
“God, you’re magnificent. You feel so fucking good,” he breathes.
"Hnn-mm-unh, uh, uh, please, please-" you moan.
“I’m gonna cum inside you. And you’re gonna cum with me,” Five growls, bearing down on you harder.
You cry out, your next orgasm hitting you as Earth shattering at the first two. You’re shivering, open-mouthed and helpless as you start to feel his warmth spreading with each thrust, Five’s hips jerking slower and slower as he empties his throbbing cock.
He hisses, moaning out a melody of expletives as his hips stutter to a near halt. He just came hard, but that doesn’t stop him as he rolls you against the mattress, coming down next to you, his cock pumping into you a few more times until you’re both left panting and boneless.
He kisses the nape of your neck and tenderly brushes a sweaty strand of your hair from the side of your face. Five stays connected to you until your chests are both rising and falling much slower, then his softening length slips out on its own, a white ribbon of cum immediately spilling out of you, the feel and sight of it making Five let out the softest whimper of distress.
Not letting you go, he kisses your temple.
"That was amazing," he contentedly breathes.
You huff out a sigh in agreement, cheeks flushed, gaze half lidded.
"I didn’t hurt you?" he whispers, a hand coming up to brush over your jaw, so gently. The concern for your wellbeing is reflected in Five’s soft green eyes as he pulls himself up on a wobbly elbow to look at you better.
“Not at all," you mutter with a weak smile as you pull your blankets over, throwing them over both of you.
Five’s hair is sticking up in just about every direction and it’s only adding to the beauty of his dazed grin.
“I’m never leaving you again, that’s unless you make me,” Five murmurs as he lays back down, kissing your shoulder. 
“I can’t see that happening, unless you get all boring, getting up early, only to take afternoon naps on my couch before you finish your old man day with one of your exhilarating crossword puzzles rather than finding new ways you can pounce on me and spank my ass.”
He laughs. There’s an impish glint in his eyes, like the twinkles of distant starlight.
“Awww, sweetheart,” he mocks. “You make all my favorite hobbies sound like bad things” 
You lean into his touch, sighing in contempt before gently whispering, “Go to sleep and I’ll deal with you in the morning.”
Obediently shutting his droopy eyes, he whispers I love you. Then the prick sneakily pulls his hand back, then smacks you in the ass, making you yelp like a little girl.
Ass burning, your heart is full.
This is Five. The wonderful, amazing, sexy jerk you fell in love with.
Next to you, almost as soon as the quiet fills the space between you again, you can tell he’s drifting off to sleep.
Five is finally home.
You roll over just enough to watch him sleeping. 
He looks so peaceful. Like a very naughty angel. The best kind.
You kiss his forehead, and he pulls you back in, making you his little spoon.
Laying there, still trying to take in everything that just happened, you think about all the times Five made jokes about his traumatic life and his loneliness. You caught stolen glimpses of his pain in his sweet but sad smiles, shaking his head, eyelids fluttering closed as he determinedly set his jaw, acting like his memories didn’t hurt him.
Five tried to build a wall around his heart, the barriers entrenched by years of grief, but it all came crashing down at the world’s end. 
Now it’s time for happiness. 
~~~~~~~
Masterpost
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arc-misadventures · 1 year ago
Text
The Fashionable Date
Jaune walked to a dorm room used by one of his upperclassmates. He knocked on the door with a hint of hesitation. He wasn’t worried about talking with her, but considering the nature of what they were about to talk about he couldn’t help, but be a little worried.
The quickly door opened, and he was face to face with one roughish smirk from one hell of a beautiful gal. The one, and only, Coco Adel.
Coco: Well, well, well, look at who we have here? Hello handsome, what can I do for you~?
Jaune: Hey, Coco, are you busy today?
Coco: I’m free as can be. Why do you ask?
Jaune: Well, after recent events I need to buy some new clothes. And, since I’m more, or less a fashion slob, I thought I should ask, Beacons fashionista for some advice. So what do you say, Coco; Want to see how well you can dress up a dragon?
Coco: Oh hell yeah I do! This is going to be so much fun! Now, how can I dress up a handsome blond like you? Oh so many choices, so many decisions… Well, regardless of whatever choices I make, I will have to factor in those horns of yours. Can’t wear anything like a teeshirt anymore; You would probably tear it up trying to put it on…
Coco: …
Coco: Wait… Horns…? When the hell did you get those?! They’re quite fetching~!
Jaune: Oh thanks… I got them yesterday after we did some tests to see how effective my fire breath can be.
Coco: And, how did those tests go?
Jaune: Well… considering how… devastating my flame can be… honestly I’m hesitant to use it on, Grimm.
Coco: So since you were testing your ability to breath fire, does that explain why you were walking around, Beacon with nothing but your breast plate, giving everyone such a tantalizing view of your body~? Because I must say, you really filled out~!
Jaune: O-Oh… T-Thank you… But, uhh… It’s, Weiss’s fault all my clothes go incinerated.
Coco: Oh, really?
Jaune: She helped test my ability to withstand fire, and extreme heats. So, she set me on fire…
Coco: She did?
Jaune: Yeah, she incinerated all the clothes I had on during the test. All that survived is my armour, but all the leather straps have burned up as well, so I might as well replace my armour while I’m at it. So… you know anywhere I can find some, Fire Dust fused clothing so that doesn’t happen again?
Coco: I do, but it’s gonna cost you.
Jaune: I’m one of the richest men in the world; So long as they’re functional, I’m good.
Coco: Oh yes, you mentioned you were a rich dragon when you showed off all those gems of yours. Tell me, Love, how rich are you? I want to know what our spending range is.
Jaune: Ehh… I’ve never looked to see how much money is in my account. But, I know my, Net Worth is an estimated 787.5 Billion.
Coco: 7-787.5 B-Billion?!
Jaune: You can make a lot mining raw metals, gems, and dust. Also, constructing infrastructure, military bases, machinery, aircraft, armour…
Coco: Y-You’re rich! You’re filthy stinking rich! You can but anything you want, and you dress like a country bumpkin?! WHY?!
Jaune: Comfort over style?
Coco: This is a crime against fashion! Come on, Arc! It’s time to get you some style!
Jaune: Whoa, HEY?!
~~~
Jaune was standing in the open doorway to a changing booth, giving, Coco a spin as he showed off the apparel she recommended to him.
Coco: Oh yeah… Mama likey~!
Jaune: It’s pretty nice, but it’s rather tight.
Coco: Just like, Mama likes~!
Coco raised her hand up, and brought it crashing down upon, Jaune’s tight butt.
“Smack~!”
Jaune: AHH! Hey?!
Coco: Gotta say you got one hell of a nice ass~!
Jaune: Only because these pants are so tight…
Coco: Why do you think I told you to wear it?
Jaune: To check out my ass?
Coco: And, loving it~!
Jaune: Haa… They’re nice… Everything looks great. But, my hair… Did they really have to cut my hair like this? I didn’t invite you out to get a hair cut.
Coco: What’s wrong with it? It’s a shaggy brush cut, simple, stylistic, and really fits you. Plus it really shows off your horns.
Jaune: It does show off my horns… Glad the sash I found matches them.
Coco: You know, I’m usually against sashes, but that white, with golden fringe really blends together nicely.
Jaune: And, you said I didn’t have any style.
Coco: And, I stand by those words! You were dressed like an absolute slob!
Jaune: But, now?
Coco: But, now after some proper guidance from yours truly you look ready to slay ‘em with your handsome looks, and winning smile~!
Jaune: I don’t think my looks will help me kill, Grimm, Coco.
Coco: I wasn’t talking about, Grimm.
Jaune: Then what are you talking about?
Coco: Haa… Still as dense as ever, Handsome.
Jaune: What?
Coco: So armour, any plans for that upgrade you mentioned?
Jaune: Something more form fitting, that covers more of my body. Something I can put on without worrying about my horns. Going to get some gauntlets, but they’ll probably be fingerless so I can retract my claws. I probably should get some measurements done for that soon…
Coco: Most likely, you’re not your lanky self you were when you first came here. Hence the tight pants.
Jaune: No, that’s so you can stare at my butt.
Coco: Still loving the view.
Jaune: You’re just jealous you don’t have a butt like mine.
Coco: Excuse me?! I have a great ass!
Jaune: No, pretty flat looking.
Coco: You wanna go bud!
Jaune: As in go into a arena for a fight, or go into a supply closet like you did with, Pyrrha?
Though most couldn’t see it, Jaune’s enhanced eyes could easily see the brief moment of shock that flashed in, Coco’s eyes. Just as easily as he saw the lighest of blushes that was spreading across her face.
Coco: What are you talking about?
Jaune: Don’t play coy with me, Coco it’s not going to work.
Coco: I’m not playing coy, I have no idea what you are talking about.
Jaune: Oh, so nothing happened between you, and Pyrrha in the supply closet outside the biology classroom then?
Coco: Wait?! How did you know he had sex there?
Jaune: You had sex? I thought you said nothing happened.’ Does that mean something did happen?
Coco’s face was flushed red as she looked around for an excuse to draw his attention away. But, finding none she finally relented, and told him the truth.
Coco: Okay… After you left, Pyrrha asked if I wanted in on your little harem thing, and I asked if I joined if that meant I could also sleep with her… So we went into that supply closet… and, had some fun. There, happy?
Jaune: I’m surprised you were so hesitant to tell me. I thought you would brag that you banged the, Invincible Girl.
Coco: I’m a kiss, and don’t tell kind of gal. Spoils the mood if you go about bragging about it.
Jaune: Plus it’s polite. Though, every faunas I’ve met knows we did it… Faunas stuff.
Coco: Yeah, I remember, Velvet glaring daggers at her. But, how did you know we did it? Did, Pyrrha brag about us having sex?
Jaune: No, Pyrrha likes her privacy more so than you do.
Coco: Hold on; if, Pyrrha never told you about us, then how did you find out about us?
Jaune: Oh, that? Quite simple really.
In a flash, Jaune reached out, and grabbed, Coco’s ass, pulling her close to him until their bodies were flush with one another. Coco yelped as he grabbed her ass, and was about to yell at him, to slap him, but his grip tightened upon her ass as she stifled a moan at his touch. But, before she could make another sound, Jaune’s head dipped lower until he growled softly in her ear, and simply said:
Jaune: I knew you two had sex, because I can still smell her on you.
A wildfire being propelled by a strong breeze was slower than the deep blush that quickly spread across, Coco’s face.
Coco Adel was the one whose teased others into a blushing mess. She could flirt one into a stubor. She new how to make anyone, man, or woman utterly flatfooted with her seductive teasing. But, she had never been put on the backfoot like, Jaune had done with that simple sentence.
Coco: Y-You could smell us?!
Jaune: Shhh… You don’t want others to hear us now do you?
Coco could only stifle a moan as, Jaune pulled her closer, giving her ass a tight squeeze in the process.
Coco: S-Sorry… B-But, you can really smell her on me? We did that a week ago?!
Jaune just smiled, showing off his fangs as he chuckled as, Coco’s composure was swiftly crumbling.
Jaune: Don’t worry, only I can smell it. No one else’s sense of smell is strong enough to pick up such subtle smells. But, I can easily pick up, Pyrrha’s sent from all the time we’ve spent together. And, there is only one person I know that smells like mocha, and gunpowder~!
Coco’s face was flush red as her voice fled her. He mouth hung agape as his voice echoed in her mind.
Coco: T-That’s what I smelt like to you; Mocha, and gunpowder?
Jaune: It’s quite the tantalizing smell. However, you’ve recently acquired an all the more intoxicating smell upon you.
Coco: Oh, that’s just some perfume I put on earlier…
Jaune: No, not that. That barely has any noticeable scent to it.
Coco: Then… was is it… what do you smell?
Jaune’s eyes look around behind her, before he pushed her inside the changing booth, he quickly shut, and locked the door behind him. As, Coco righted herself she felt, Jaune’s hand grab her, and turned her to face him as he pushed her against the wall. His hands holding her tenderly, one along her waist, while the other cupped her cheek, forcing her to stare directly at, Jaune’s predatory expression.
Before she could utter a word, Jaune used his finger to pull of her glasses, letting them gently fall to the floor with a dull thud. Her face was red, her breathing was heavy, and her eyes were lost in his. All she could do was stare on as, Jaune smiled at her, and spoke those few simple words she never wanted to hear.
Jaune: I smell desire, hunger, and lust… It’s such a tantalizing smell~!
Coco knew, Jaune; If she said the word, just one word, he would pull off of her apologizing all the while for what he did. Just because he had a throng of woman willing to throw themselves at him at the drop of a hat did not mean he would just bed any woman. He would treat them with respect, and he wanted to know if they truly wanted this. So if she said the word, just one word he would back away, no questions, no pleas, no begging. He would just leave her be, and that would be that.
Those were the thoughts running through her mind as she grabbed his golden locks and pulled him into a deep, searing kiss.
Coco had fun with someone in a changing room before. They we’re usually girls insecure about their sexuality, or curious what it would be like. So since she was up for a little tumble now, and then she helped them find the answers to these burning questions of theirs. However, when these little escapades happened, she was in control; she set the pace, she set the mood, she was the one in control. And yet, she was completely helpless under the onslaught, Jaune wrought upon her. And, she was loving every second of it.
Jaune grabbed, Coco by her waist, and pulled her in for a hungry kiss that dominated her lips causing her to moan in wanton lust as her fingers intertwined with his hair as she pulled him closer, deepening their kiss.
Jaune soon pried her mouth open with his tongue, shoving his tongue into her mouth, and her in turn. Their tongues swirled around one another as they duelled for control. Coco relished in the icy cold flavour that hung about his mouth, while, Jaune in turned savoured the sweet taste of coffee that hung about hers. The duo were falling into a drunken stupor as the drowned in the pleasure of one another’s mouths, but it was soon brought to an end as, Coco remember something very, very important about, Jaune’s tongue.
It was long, incredibly long at that.
In order to stake his claim, Jaune pushed his long tongue deeper into, Coco’s mouth, at first she gave a squeak in shock as she felt his tongue seemingly coil around hers, and push deeper into her mouth as a guttural moan escaped her lips between baited breaths of air. Sadly their fun was brought to a swift end when, Jaune’s tongue had pushed just a little too far, and, Coco started to gag from it.
Jaune quickly removed his tongue from the depths of her mouth as, Coco reeled back, and coughed almost roughly from having the invading organ within her.
Coco: “Cough, cough!” Holy hell… Did you literally shove your tongue down my throat?
Jaune: Haha… Sworry…
Jaune’s tongue was hanging several inches from the bottom of his mouth before slurping back inside. Coco could only wonder in shock how he hid such a massive appendage.
Jaune: Pyrrha likes it when I do that to her, I got so into the kiss I forgot I wasn’t with, Pyrrha. Or, you for that matter. I just fell into the moment of it all.
Coco: Well… If I didn’t start gagging on it I don’t think I would have minded really. But, you better be careful with that thing; you’ll break a girl if you’re not careful.
Jaune: Oh really now~?
Jaune licked his lips with a predatory gaze as he moved closer to, Coco.
Jaune: In that case, lets see how hard it is to break you then~!
His hands reached for her belt, and undid the buckles, the buttons, and lastly the zipper before kneeling down before her as he dragged her pants, and her underwear down in one swift motion until she was bare before him.
Coco’s heart was racing, her breathing heavy, and quick. She knew what was going to happen, and just like before she knew how to stop it, and as she looked down at those deep blue eyes staring back at her she said the words she had to say.
Coco: Please… Please break me…
Jaune chuckled as he got to work. Coco’s hand immediately cover her mouth to stifle the yell that threatened to escape her lips. A yell that swiftly gave way to deep, gasping moans of pleasure as he began to eat her out.
Coco could barely contain the guttural moans that escaped her body as she bucked against his face. She bit her lips to hold them back as her hands grabbed a hold of his horns to steady herself, and pull him deeper into her welcoming opening.
Coco: MmmMMM~! How… Ahh~! How are you…?! Mmm~! So…! Ahhh! Good at this~?!
Jaune laughed softly as he pulled away, licking his lips with his long tongue before smiling up at, Coco’s blushing face.
Jaune: Most people don’t know this, but Pyrrha wasn’t my first time.
Coco: S-She wasn’t?
Jaune: Nope~! Case in point…
Jaune drove his head back, and went to town on, Coco. Her hands quickly cover her mouth as, Jaune attacked every her lower lips, basking her in unending pleasure of the body.
Coco: Fuckfuckfuckfuckfucyk~! Who taught you how to eat out a girl like this, a lesbian? Only girls are this good at eating out other girls! MmmmH~! I should know, I’ve… Ahhh~! Done it myself~!
Jaune: Actually yes, a lesbian did teach me. Well, she wasn’t a lesbian by the time we were done.
Coco: You turned a lesbian straight with your tongue?!
Jaune: She was more of a bisexual than a lesbian, I just made it a fact. Now, if you’ll excuse me; my meals getting cold.
Coco really shouldn’t interrupt him anymore, every time she interrupted him only denied him that exquisite tongue of his from caressing her body. And, to emphasize that he picked up his speed, and ravenously ate her out.
A hand clamped over her mouth while the other held him by one of his horns keeping him in place. Behind a flush face she looked down at him to see his deep cerulean eyes giving her a dangerous, and mischievous glint to his eyes.
She would swiftly learn how dangerous that glint in his eyes is.
Both of her hands were on her mouth covering up the guttural moan that if she removed her hands would be a moaning scream for all to hear, and all to be envious off as she felt him insert his long tongue into her precious depths. There are things in life you never expect to experience; the mind numbing pleasure of a faunas with a long tongue have a meal with you was something profound to experience.
She could feel his tongue swirling around her depths, mapping her insides out with his tongue for minutes that felt like they lasted for millennia’s. At long last she felt a quack in her hips, and she would relish it’s arrival. And, when it did she awoke with her butt on the ground, staring at, Jaune’s cocky smile as he licked his lips.
Jaune: Well, looks like I broke you.
Coco panted heavily as her mind raced to find where it had fallen off. And, she knew precisely where; At her peak, as soon as she had her mind numbing orgasm she blacked out, and was left here in a dazed state, but thoroughly satisfied state of mind.
She told him to break her, and good gods, he broke her.
Coco: I said that tongue of yours would break a girl… But, gods… You can break a girl…
Jaune: I aim to please~!
Coco: That’s an understatement if I ever heard one… H-How long was I out?
Jaune: Not long, about a minute, or two.
Coco: And, while I was out, you didn’t decide to keep on having fun?
Jaune: You wouldn’t be around to enjoy it; where’s the fun if you’re not enjoying it too?
Coco: Well, in that case…
Coco slowly rose on shaky legs, shaking from the unbridled pleasure, Jaune just assaulted her with. As she stood up, she turned around, and pressed her body to the wall, shaking her tantalizing round butt towards him, inviting him in.
Coco: Shall we continue~?
Jaune laughed softly to himself as he stood up, and stood behind, Coco’s plump rear, caressing it softly with his hand.
Jaune: We shall, butnot here.
Coco: What?! Why?!
Coco nearly shouted, but this time she remembered where they were. She look over to, Jaune, and saw him giving her an amused smile.
Jaune: Because, as nice it was hearing you trying to stifle a moan like you did, but what I really want to hear… Is you screaming my name~!
Jaune grabbed, Coco by her neck, and pulled him flush against her hotly whispering into her ear those few words that brought her over the edge again in seconds.
Coco: T-T-Then what are we waiting for; come on, make me scream~!
And, that is what she did, scream his name until she could scream no more. And, she loved every agonizing, intoxicating second of it.
~~~
Juniper: You’ve got to tell her to reel it in; Jaune doesn’t like a girl who screams at him to give her his babies, he finds that extremely off putting.
Kali: I’ve been trying to tell, Blake. But, does she listen? Noooo… She all about him pinning her down, and knocking her up on the spot. Where is the fun in that? I blame her choice in literature, there’s nothing romantic in her books, it’s just kinky self indulgence for inexperienced lovers.
Juniper: That’s my daughter’s target audience after all. You have to go with the easy marks.
Kali: Yes, but their not, Jaune’s type. I sear, if I could I would chase after him myself.
Juniper: What’s stopping you?
Kali: I’m a happily married woman, but if I wasn’t, I would be pregnant with his first child right now~!
Juniper: Second actually.
Kali: He’s already a father?!
Juniper: He’s the donor actually, they say it wasn’t him, but I know it was him. It’s cute they think I don’t know, but I…
Juniper: Hmmm…?
Kali: Juni? Is something wrong?
Juniper: My grandmother senses are tingling…
Kali: Well my aren’t! Ahhh! That means it’s not, Blake getting any! Haa… Best get, Sienna to get his kids then. One of my kids is going to give me adorable grandchildren, I don’t care which, but I damn well will get them!
Juniper: I know in mixed faunas families the baby’s faunas traits are a roulette wheel of possibilities, but I really want blond cat eared grandchildren.
Kali: Me too! Oh they would be so adorable~!
Juniper: I know right~?
166 notes · View notes
leverage-commentary · 2 years ago
Text
Leverage Season 3, Episode 12, The King George Job, Audio Commentary Transcript
John: Hey I'm John Rogers, executive producer.
Christine: Hello I'm Christine Boylan, writer of this episode.
John: And unfortunately the fantastic director, Millicent Shelton, of this- of this episode could not join us.
Christine: Because she's working all the time!
John: She's working all the time.
Christine: She's amazing!
John: Christine, how did this show come about?
Christine: I am obsessed with- [Laughs] a lot of things that are in this episode. And I begged you to let me do them.
John: The only thing missing from this is bustles and parasols, really.
Christine: It's true! It's true, we had everything but bustles and parasols.
John: James Frain.
Christine: James Frain! Obsession. [Laughs]
John: Great actor, yes, that wasn't creepy at all on set.
Christine: He became one.
John: Yeah, there you go. No, it was- we had been- we wanted to do a Sophie backstory episode for a while.
Christine: Absolutely.
John: We had been wanting to talk about- since we had been addressing - all year - everyone's reason for being on the show.
Christine: Obsession.
John: Obsession?
Christine: Eliot in a pilot outfit.
John: Eliot in a pilot outfit? Really? I did not know that.
Christine: [Laughs] Look guys, hot guys in pilot outfit? That's hot.
John: I was not aware.
Christine: I'm just saying.
John: And, you know, as you'll see in the finale, you know, we really get into why Eliot is trying to redeem himself. And in this was our chance to kinda see- to have Sophie realize what a lot of grifters sorta push off, is that it's not a victimless crime.
Christine: Absolutely.
John: You know, that you rip off institutions and you rip off insurance companies, so it's all kind of a chess match with giant corporations and you know, that there is some human fallout. Which is something shes not dumb enough not to realize before, but she’s always emotionally quashed.
Christine: She's been able to turn a blind eye to it before now.
John: Exactly, because she’s evolving. She's actually- that's something we talk about in the Sophie/Nate relationship all the time is part of the problem is, Sohpie’s actually becoming a better human being faster than Nate is.
Christine: Hmm.
John: And that's one of the reasons they can't actually ever quite make it work.
Christine: Mhhm, mhmm.
John: She's farther along her sort of, you know, decency evolution.
Christine: This, look- this was, all day this large choreographed scene where they said, “You may as well have written The Music Man.”
[Laughter]
Christine: It's a lot of moving parts, a lot of people doing a lot of simultaneous things, and it had to play out almost like a little play, which was a lot of fun for me.
John: Yes. You love little plays.
Christine: I do love little plays.
John: Camera people when you have three or four cameras in there at the same time, not so much.
Christine: No likey. Camera people no likey.
John: Big thing for the fans, kids- people dig Eliot Spencer helping adorable war orphans.
Christine: I know, yeah, they really do. And how cute is this kid, she's so cute.
John: She was adorable, she was really great.
Christine: She was wonderful. She was wonderful.
John: And this was also- it was interesting we were breaking this episode, it was so plotty that it was one of those things where we realized we just have to jump in the middle.
Christine: Just- I love starting in the middle. Oh my god, great, staring.
John: Just immediate - we’re up, we’re running.
Christine: We’re up and running.
John: The audience knows the show by now, we’re well into third season, you'll figure it out!
Christine: I mean yeah, look it’s James Frain, do you think he's the good guy? No!
[John Laughs]
Christine: No, he's not the good guy!
John: He's a sinister Brit in a suit! Come on!
Christine: He's a vampire sometimes, sometimes he's a, you know, renaissance villain.
John: We did do the take where James kissed Aldis like in True Blood, and that's on the servers somewhere.
Christine: That's on my reel at home. That's a private reel.
John: By the way, having just flown through, this looks distressingly like the actual customs arrival at Logan.
[Laughter]
Christine: Yay!
John: Yeah, it’s actually pretty close, it’s actually-
Christine: Did you get caught with some contraband?
John: I did not get caught with some contraband.
Christine: Illegal lion statues?
John: No. 
Christine: Tiger statues?
John: No, I- all my illegal stuff is virtual.
Christine: I am also obsessed with antiquities trafficking. Because it is something that drug lords do to make money to move drugs, which is a lot fun! 
[Christine Laughs]
John: And we've mentioned on a couple of the commentaries, we spend a lot of time- and this is one of those weird things, you know, people that write shows are human and they get into their little sort of obsessions. And we got really deeply into money laundering and the ways in which you launder money this year. And it just so happens that some of them are very glamorous.
Christine: Absolutely.
John: Like antiquities smuggling.
Christine: Absolutely.
John: Yeah, it's not just for giant nations pillaging other giant nations.
Christine: It’s true.
John: Antiquities. It's for individuals too.
Christine: That was-
John: We gave her a bear! A little bear of peace to hug!
Christine: Come on, how cute is she?
John: She's adorable.
Christine: Adorable.
John: Adorable. An accessory after the fact, I'm sorry she's going to jail. 
[Christine Laughs]
John: That was another thing, too, by the way. I love watching the arc of audience research on the boards and forums.
Christine: Mhhm.
John: Cause I do go and watch, and as people know I’ve got the blog and ask questions. And this was one of those things where it's like, ‘Well I love the episode, but I don't know about- can they really take kids and keep them in custody? Can ICE really do that?’ And then about a day later- it's the same on all of them, a day later it's like, ‘Well, I'm doing some research,' and then about a day later, ‘Oh god, this is horrible!’
[Laughter]
Christine: Oh it's real!
John: ‘It's real and horrible!’
Christine: It's real!
John: Yeah. We do a lot of research into horrible things so you don't have to.
Christine: Mhmm.
John: And bang, we’re into the credits.
Christine: And here we are. That was very wonderfully cut together, wonderfully directed, vital kind of- they did a great job.
John: Truly difficult. That whole teaser, that happens in one scene.
Christine: They gave me so much shit on set. Paul Bernard just looked at me with the eyes of death like, ‘Come on lady! Nine pages, huh?’
[Christine Laughs]
John: Nine pages. You do write big scenes.
Christine: Look at this!
John: I adore you, but you do- you don't write television scenes.
Christine: Look at this shot!
John: Keep talking about the shot.
[Laughter]
Christine: This is Shanga Parker, he’s a great actor.
John: How long was the first act you ever gave me in the first script?
Christine: Twenty pages!
John: Twenty page act.
Christine: Twenty pages in The Miracle Job, act one.
[Laughter]
Christine: First draft.
John: There were some beautiful speeches, they’re lovely.
Christine: Some beautiful speeches, they moved to like act three mostly, so.
John: Now I'm sorry, what was I talking about?
Christine: This was Shanga Parker, he is a fantastic local actor who we worked with.
John: Where were we by the way? We are at the convention center?
Christine: Also a professor. This is the convention center.
John: In Portland. This is great.
Christine: Yeah, not overrun by comic book fans, which is usually how I see a convention center. So this was, you know-
[Laughter]
Christine: This was nice.
John: It's like, ‘Oh, this is what it looks like when normal humans walk through?’
Christine: Yeah! It's what- they look like airports!
John: Yeah theres no chunky transgendered Wonder Woman in here, it looks like an airport.
Christine: No. Oddly enough there was, actually.
John: That was odd, actually on the set.
Christine: I brought her with me, she was my assistant.
John: Really? There you go. Doing a lovely job, just- you know there's a lot of good people in the system, and doing their best to help people out. And, you know, it's one of the things we talk about the morality of the show. It's like, are we good guys, are we bad guys? Well, you know, sometimes the system needs a little kick in the ass, cause there are good people who are too good to kick it in the ass.
Christine: Absolutely. Immigration advocates, these guys work really hard.
John: That's a nice bit of staging, by the way, having the couple passed out on the couch.
Christine: Yeah.
John: That's a beautiful little bit of airport detail.
Christine: It was tough, we had to kinda cheat a little bit to make sure they weren’t distracting, but I learned a lot about what to put in background and what's already in the shot and- Millicent’s a great teacher, and she didn't mind me- my shadowing her like a little duckling for most of the shoot. It was really helpful.
John: That is also one of our first sort of great- we got in fast, and now we're doing a lot of backstory to reconnect this episode with the season arc.
Christine: Mhhm.
John: It's one of those weird things- and this is how it falls out. We had planned to salt the Moreau plotline about every third episode, but due to actor scheduling issues and a rewrite it just wound up being on either end of the season.
Christine: Mhhm.
John: So, you know, this really had- this episode had a lot of heavy lifting to do, which was kinda reintroduce this entire plotline. And Derek Frederickson of course doing great work on the graphics in order to make it clear.
Christine: Fantastic. And not only is he incredibly prepared and does a lot of research and does great work, you know, before, in prep. But when you show up on the day and you want something different, he can whip- he’s magician! He's a magician.
John: Yes, he's actually sitting there with a laptop and I said, you know, “Give me something that looks entirely different.” Five minutes later, “This?” “Oh my god!”
Christine: I have not bought him enough cocktails, that’s the- [Laughs]
John: I think- that has to be a digital shot. Because- yeah.
Christine: Yes.
John: We were shooting through the TVs at that point, and I don't think we’re capable of doing that.
Christine: No.
John: This was also very cunning of Millicent, to break our five up into twos in a way I don't think we'd done before by shooting straight at them.
Christine: Yes, yeah.
John: Usually we rake. Claridges, real? Made up?
Christine: Claridges is made up. A lot of the stuff in here is real in the Leverage world.
John: Yeah.
Christine: Some of the royal stuff, we wanted to- I love the royals. Don't you, John?
John: I hate the royals.
[Christine Laughs]
John: I hate the royals. It’s-
Christine: It’s class warfare.
John: It’s absolutely class- 
Christine: Class warfare.
John: If I could watch that castle burn to the ground… Anyway.
[Christine Laughs]
John: No, it was.
Christine: See I’d like to, you know, get them out and live in the castle.
John: Yeah, no.
Christine: It’s two different approaches, same result.
John: I am personally- level that ground and build a school on it.
Christine: More of an opportunist myself.
John: This was actually fun, was giving her the, “Can I brood here, too?”
Christine: Oh, yeah.
John: It's, you know, people are not unaware of the fact that Nate is a moody bastard. 
Christine: Mhm.
[Laughter]
John: And this is one of the- another great things in the third season where they are pairs, they are partners, they're, you know, they're equals here. This is, again, not a scene that would have happened in the first two. And part of the fun of doing television, you can develop relationships over a long periods of time.
Christine: Mhhm.
John: You can't do this in a movie.
Christine: No, you absolutely cannot. That's why movies will always be the inferior.
John: Really? Wow.
[Christine Laughs]
John: There's a reason you're my favorite!
Christine: Ohhh, that's right!
John: Nicely done!
[Christine Laughs]
John: There you go.
Christine: This was a lot of fun to shoot; this was rewritten. Like- I try to rewrite everything on the day, that's the- [Laughs]
John: Really, make it easier for yourself, Boylan.
Christine: Yeah, except for those big Music Man sequences. But this, you know, Gina and Tim know their characters, they wanna play and we can- this scene always gets ten times better when you sit down and just read it with them, you know?
John: It's always fun, too, because I remember the first time I was on set and they came up and they're like “John, we think we're rewriting this scene”. It was- I think it was in the military one first season, oh my god we made enough of these- Homecoming. Where we want to change the nature of this conversation, and I was bracing myself for the giant actor thing of a total rewrite but they just [unintelligible] two sentences later. ‘That's it?’
Christine: O-ok?
John: Alright, fine!
Christine: Sure!
John: And, you know, they- yeah.
Christine: There's a respect that goes both ways, and I think the writer needs to be present for the actor and vice versa. And it really-
John: That's what the writer’s on set for.
Christine: Absolutely.
John: You know-
Christine: And to learn directing secretly!
[Laughter]
John: Don't get seduced by directing. 
[Christine Laughs]
John: A monkey could direct. [Monkey noise] “Ahhh ahhh!” Pointing at- there are the actors! What else are you supposed to point the camera at? It's not hard, people!
Christine: But here is another one of these- this was- we shot it at a college?
John: Yeah.
Christine: Beautiful location.
John: Lovely establishing. Wow, her in that dress is kinda amazing.
Christine: She’s amazing. Oh my goodness, and this- this office. I mean we turned it into an auction house, everybody did such a good job just dressing it, and already a beautiful location.
John: Dressing on this was great. Yeah, Becca and the whole production design team doing an amazing job.
Christine: Becca's another one who’s just, you know, a magician.
John: Yeah.
Christine: [Laughs] like pulling it out of a hat, I don't know how she does that.
John: I love that you've got a picture of Queen Victoria there, cause that really establishes exactly the tone and the style of the auction we’re gonna be doing.
Christine: I think so, it certainly made me feel comfortable.
[Laughter]
Christine: Loyalist that I am.
John: I know. You understand that blood isn't special. You understand that, right?
[Christine Laughs]
John: And Frain with the ascot! How perfect is that!
Christine: Look at Frain! Nadine really had to sell me on the ascot, but once she did- once he walked in she looked at me and she said, “Right? Am I right?” And I said, “So right, Nadine.”
John: So right.
Christine: So right as always. That's- playing the thug there, Ollie Trevena. Hilarious, and-
John: Really great.
Christine: Good with the stunts.
John: And it's tricky too, cause we had to have one of the funnier thugs we've ever had in this one. He really had to be able
Christine: He got a little speechify later on.
John: That bang over from there to there, that’s- this what I really like about this episode in- you know, it's great - this is the first episode Millicent’s directed for us, and so she brought a subtly different style to the show.
Christine: Mhhm
John: And watching it, it made- I really enjoyed it, because we’re in London, it feels like our ‘we went to London’ episode. 
Christine: Yeah.
John: It has a tonal difference, and part of the fun of doing the show is it's a different movie every week.
Christine: Absolutely.
John: And this is one of the ones where it really feels like it's a different movie. You know, now we're doing our Thomas Crown.
Christine: Yes, absolutely.
John: You know, the other one you did, it's our Friends of Eddie Coyle, you know.
Christine: Mhhm. And once again, Portland did provide.
John: Yes. Absolutely. 
Christine: Portland gave us London, so thank you, Portland.
John: White gloves.
Christine: Just put gloves on this guy, we’re in London! There you go!
John: Now wouldn't you take the gloves off in order to-
Christine: Absolutely not, he would not.
John: Oh this was great, this may be the single sexiest scene in the entire show.
Christine: Oh, she’s like, ‘could this be longer?’ But she was great.
John: Yeah.
[Laughter]
John: Actors- they all want monologues, and then the monologues are too long.
Christine: Oh I know, Gina said the same thing.
John: You can tell I'm in the second Guinness cause I'm starting to bitch about them.
Christine: No, I love them.
John: No, this- I love this scene. 
Christine: She’s amazing.
John: Because, again, this is how Parker sees the world. Inanimate objects and people are both- you're capable of relating to both of them on exactly the same way.
Christine: Mhhm.
John: No. 
Christine: She's manipulating them as well.
[Christine Laughs]
John: Wow, I don't know where that came from.
Christine: John!
[Laughter]
John: This was a ton of fun, doing the auction research, and figuring out how that worked. All these- also the antiquities research, although you had a lot of that from your previous stuff.
Christine: I had brought a lot of that with me, but it was fun to kind of- I had mostly looked at, you know, older stuff. Really just stuff from antiquity. But looking at the kind of newer things in the King George stuff, and the, you know, the signet rings.
John: Yeah, and we have to give- and as part of the whole we use all the parts of the buffalo, we have to give a shout out to the wonder twins.
Christine: Oh, yeah.
John: Cause the wonder twins had originally come up with the idea of a treasure hunt episode.
Christine: Mhhm.
John: And they put it in Boston, which naturally put it in revolutionary times.
Christine: Right.
John: That led us to King George, but then we shelved that episode-
Christine: Right.
John: So years later when we came into the antiquities, you jumped on that, and it was-
Christine: Let us do King George, yeah.
John: It was great.
Christine: See, they would go for the revolutionary side of things, and I went for the the-
John: I know.
Christine: Red coat side.
John: Really?
[Christine Laughs]
John: Really.
Christine: That's why we’re a good team!
John: Go live in Acadia.
Christine: We’re a great team!
John: We are a great team.
Christine: Look at that statue, statue of Ra. 
John: I love that you can just ask Eric Bates: we need a statue of Ra, and he's like “I've got one on the truck.”
Christine: Yup, patted me on the shoulder, “Alright, Boylan.” With that look of ‘You're crazy, but alright. Let's do it.’
John: No, well it's not quite as bad as when he walked in the first season finale and went, ‘how many tiny statues of David?’
[Laughter]
John: ‘You realize these don't exist, actually, anywhere?’
Christine: Oh, man.
John: It's never boring on Leverage.
Christine: Having Sophie figure out, you know, Frain’s character's heart desire on the fly.
John: Yeah.
Christine: That is- that was fun.
John: That was- this episode, interestingly, really benefits, because it's not a particularly action filled episode. It benefits from the density of the investigation.
Christine: Mhhm.
John: Because a lot of these- a lot of these scenes, a lot of these acts, and this is why you rewrite and stuff. Really in the outlining and the breaking we’re like “OK, this is gonna wind up being two episodes.”
Christine: Mhhm.
John: You know, and just crunching it and churching it and crunching it, really gave you exactly what everyone's job is at all times, and really made you understand why Sophie is a crucial part of this team. Sophie is a genius in her own way, as much as Nate is.
Christine: Absolutely.
John: No one else could pull this off.
Christine: And this is her area of expertise. I do like going into, you know, each of their areas of expertise in different episodes. It's nice to kind of- Parker's role for a while as we did in yours and Geoffs.
John: That was kinda fun in Gone Fishing, you're in Eliot's world. 
Christine: Absolutely.
John: Eliot- if you're gonna be running around the woods with people trying to kill you-
Christine: You wanna be with Eliot.
John: Yeah, exactly.
Christine: It's true, if you were gonna be in an auction house, you wanna be with Sophie.
John: Exactly. This was fun, this was-
Christine: Tim, looking dapper.
John: Exactly. And interesting- I had actually pitched this originally, when you were breaking this, but actually happening in the mens room.
Christine: Mhhm.
John: And then- 
Christine: We couldn't find a good location, so we had the mens room lounge. This is like the right outside of the toilet.
John: As one does!
Christine: As one does.
[Laughter]
John: Absolutely. Also you can rough a man up in a lounge and people won’t pay attention, in the mens room, it’s expected? I don't know-
Christine: It's England, you expect Michael Caine to walk in and gut punch somebody, come on.
[Laughter]
Christine: Come on.
John: Michael Caine, great in an interview, the best advice about playing a villain I ever heard, which is the scarier the guy is, the softer he talks.
Christine: Oh I love that. Well Frain’s definitely got that down.
John: Yeah, Frain’s playing that. It's really is- he has no need to threaten someone because he is, himself, threatening.
Christine: And by the way, there's no nicer person in the world.
[Laughter]
John: Than James Frain?
Christine: Nicest guy in the world. And completely menacing.
John: Yeah, I love the way he picks up the physical cues. Coming up with the physical cues was fun.
Christine: That was fun. Ok, so this is where we went off and we worked on two different scenes.
John: Yes.
Christine: That had to connect, and we basically wrote exactly the same thing.
John: The same scene, yeah exactly.
Christine: Which was- made me feel like I learned something. I feel pretty good, you know.
John: It was- you know, the writers know this show by now. 
Christine: Yeah.
John: You know, and also I would say, temperamentally, you and I are probably the most similar- 
Christine: Mhhm.
John: Style-wise.
Christine: Yes. We’re both haptic, we like, you know, we like using all the senses, but having the object in your hand?
John: Yeah.
Christine: That's what this episode is about.
John: Exactly. And the- also that was kinda fun was coming up with, when we were first breaking it, trying to figure out what Hardison's job was.
Christine: Yeah.
John: And coming up with Hardison- that Hardison became- hacked history. That was-
Christine: That was-
John: That's my favorite part of the episode.
Christine: That's your most shining moment right there, by the way. That he hacked history.
[Laughter]
John: Thank you. That’s- we just, it- we’re kinda talking inside here, because of the nature of scheduling, Boylan and I wound up working on this one a little bit more cause I'd come back from directing-
Christine: Absolutely.
John: The other episode, and so I was out of the loop on another episode so I ended up jumping in on this one.
Christine: It was not a huge [unintelligible] with this one.
John: And also, you did back to backs.
Christine: I did, I did.
John: You were actually producing-
Christine: Yeah.
John: And being on set for-
Christine: Three-Card Monte.
John: Three-Card Monte. So I actually wound up hanging out and doing a little bit of the research before you came back, and you came back, I'd crunched a little bit of this.
Christine: Yeah. And it helped that it was this one, because at least I had done all that work, like, prior to going to Portland.
John: No, that's the thing - you had broken the plot, and just left me with the all the little research-y bullshit to come up with. Which I love doing.
Christine: You do.
John: I love- part of the fun for me in the show is finding everything out that's true that we can put on the air that people don't believe. She's amazing in this scene.
Christine: She's amazing. The two of them? Wow.
John: Yeah. Look at that kinda- she's a totally different human being here - that kinda bored, looking off a little to the left, the little head tilt.
Christine: And the genius of Gina, which some people are going to sort of recognize here and some people are not, but the way she slightly alters her accent. Just slightly goes for a more refined, different class.
John: Yeah, just the way she carries herself, the way she's thrown on the little sweater around the- she's wearing a knockout dress and by putting the little wrap on-
Christine: Changes everything.
John: Changes everything.
Christine: And again-
John: And look at that! She looks imperious there.
Christine: Oh, god.
John: You know. And meanwhile, in real life she's a really sweet, kinda goofy, you know-
Christine: Absolutely. ”Ooh Christine, another monologue!” That she had perfectly memorized and performed brilliantly. 
John: Yes, you know.
Christine: Of course.
John: They have to complain.
Christine: Of course. 
John: And again- I will say again, Nate in a chair getting beat up while Sophie runs a con, I have no problem saying this is one of my favorite recurring themes of the show.
Christine: I told Tim it was a dream of mine.
[Laughter]
Christine: Tim really enjoyed this episode, I have to say - he had a lot of fun on set.
John: Now, it's- well, you know, he looks great, by the way. That's a great look with the little- and he's hooked, and he's back in.
Christine: Yeah. And yeah the two of them had a lot of fun with this. Yeah, the hook- I love the walk away and then coming back.
John: Yeah, and also, again, one of the things you can do in third season, but also one of the things we try to reinforce now that she's his peer, when she says, “You know what I'm running here”, and he goes, “Yeah, but it's dangerous.” 
Christine: Right.
John: We don't wanna- don’t need to explain it to you, all you need to know is these two people know each other well enough to know what they're playing-
Christine: Mhhm.
John: And what the risks are. And it's a shorthand between peers.
Christine: Yeah.
John: Does she throw that- was she wearing that necklace in the other scene?
Christine: She was.
John: She was.
Christine: Mhhm.
John: It's amazing.
Christine: It looks different against the black than it does against the- yeah.
John: Amazing how different it looks.
Christine: And that's a fantastic sweater.
John: And Nadine throwing together a great little ensemble.
Christine: Oh, Nadine's amazing.
John: And the evil look there, and this is a bad idea.
Christine: Oh no.
[Christine Laughs]
John: This is a bad idea is one of our- now here's a question. Everyone else is dressed for the weather. Was it hot in that office?
[Laughter]
John: Is there- did he nearly pass out from the heat?
Christine: It sure was! Really hot in there.
John: Was it hot because they were trying to put on the lamps to make sure the gun show was bright enough?
[Laughter]
Christine: It was!
John: I remember-
Christine: I promise certain things!
John: Coming into the writing room, and on the wall it's like, it was you know, the priorities-
Christine: Strip Aldis down to his underwear.
John: The priorities for the episode, and one of them was Hardison in the t-shirt for the fans.
Christine: Yes.
John: Like alright, there you go.
Christine: Absolutely.
John: Aldis not complaining.
Christine: This is my favorite scene ever. [Laughs]
John: Ever?
Christine: Until now.
John: Yeah, there you go. No this is-
Christine: Until the one we’re performing right now.
John: This one right now?
Christine: This one we’re doing right here.
John: This is a great roundy round. This is interesting, this- we don't usually go around the circle on this type of-
Christine: Mhhm.
John: On this type of scene. But we were not in our usual set.
Christine: Yes.
John: So this table kinda demanded this geography.
Christine: Mhhm.
John: And giving- again, Sophie, this is competence porn. This is pure competence porn.
Christine: Absolutely.
John: Giving Sophie the ability to instruct everyone else, ‘You’re in my world, these are the rules.’ And yeah, and then coming up with the physical aspect of exactly why the, you know, why the statue was unfakeable.
Christine: Right.
John: Absolutely lovely.
Christine: Why had we failed, how can we succeed, basically.
John: And now- and then, I think it originally started with a knighthood.
Christine: Mhhm.
John: And then when we were doing the research we had no idea knighthoods were so cheap.
Christine: [Laughs] Knighthoods are pretty cheap.
John: Knighthoods - twenty six hundred. We actually used the line in the show. And it was just deep in the guts of doing the research we spent some time on the royal boards, and there are actually forums and websites of people dedicated to watching royalty. And not just famous royalty, but keeping track of the second cousins, and the third cousins.
Christine: Oh yeah.
John: And the people who are, you know, dukes four times removed. And that was fascinating!
Christine: Mhhm.
John: The idea that like, for example in New York, there are- there's royalty walking around that you would not recognize in any way shape or form.
Christine: Oh yeah. They have jobs, they live on the upper east side, they're, you know, wherever.
John: Yeah and they're, you know, seventh in line to succession someone.
Christine: Mhhm.
John: And that was- and that led us to the lost baronies.
Christine: Yes.
John: The lost- and-
Christine: And there are so many we thought about planting some of our-
John: Yes, exactly. 
[Laughter]
John: It didn't really look all that hard to tell you the truth.
Christine: Just don't tell them we’re Irish. It’s fine.
John: Yeah.
[Laughter]
John: Don't tell them they're Irish. They don’t understand the horror of what's going on.
Christine: Smelling the statue.
John: Smelling the statue. And it was also a very nice beat you did here by giving each person- separate person a clue, so it wasn’t static.
Christine: Mhhm, yes.
John: And again, one of the things that the third season, discovering stuff during the scenes, makes exposition part of the conflict more. And I'll say this- no one comes to a show the best writer they are. You know, we definitely- the first season and second season were great, but I look back at them now and realize they gave us tools to do, you know, some great stuff in third season.
Christine: Completely.
John: Yeah. 
Christine: I'm constantly- I just learn on the job. I don't know what I'm doing on any given day.
[Laughter]
John: Well that's you. I'm talking about other professional writers.
Christine: Oh other professional writers.
John: You are-
Christine: Well I-
John: I'm basically stunned you're working.
Christine: I just walk in saying like, “Hey, look at this great statue. Let's do a-” [Laughs]
John: Yeah, exactly.
Christine: I mean, you know, all joking aside, having the audience as involved as possible is one of my constant goals. I want the audience to be a little- not even a little bit ahead, a little bit behind, but there.
John: Yeah.
Christine: Present, you know?
John: You like a lean forward episode.
Christine: I do like a lean forward episode, you know, there's nothing worse than being spoon fed information.
John: Yeah. I'm going to give a giant shout out to the greatest antiquities crime show of all time, Ian McShane in Love Story.
Christine: Oh, yeah.
John: For giving us some of the ingredients on that list.
Christine: Absolutely.
John: Because I'm pretty sure when we were breaking this it was like, “And here's the Love Story moment.”
Christine: Absolutely, yeah,
John: I remember being boggled when I was a kid watching that show like, ‘You can do this? Really?’ And, you know, we talk a lot about the influences on the show but Love Story is not not in the canon. It’s-
Christine: No, it's not.
John: It's in there, it's a big part of it.
Christine: Well I was also thinking because, you know, we had watched Three-Card Monte, and I'd written a little more investigative stuff this year, and I think it's because you made me watch Jonathan Creek.
John: Yes!
Christine: There was a lot of Jonathan Creek going on when I wrote this one, so.
John: Yeah. You know what, there's a lot of good stuff up there.
Christine: Yes, a lot of good stuff out there.
John: It’s people.
Christine: Most of it coming from Britain.
[Laughter]
John: No, well no. No, I mean it’s- we’re about to go on a giant side thing. Every country makes great television.
Christine: It's true.
John: They just don't export the bad stuff.
Christine: You know, well said. Well said.
John: Yeah, no, Jonathan Creek, created by David Renwick - great show. If you have a chance to get our DVD, and then get your friends to get our DVD, but then go get Jonathan Creek.
Christine: Go check that out.
John: Yeah.
Christine: Also a great show.
John: Also Millicent, great job here making a very static scene be fraught with parallel.
Christine: She's not afraid of the long scenes, John.
John: Yes. Long scenes are death in television, Christine.
Christine: Long scenes can be amazing as long as they have, you know, breaths and moments in fits and starts.
John: We actually talked about this one one of the other commentaries where the wonder twins were saying to Marc, “God, this scene is so long.” And he went, “No, directors love this! Gives us a chance to park the camera and work with the actors.”
Christine: There's an arc in the scene.
John: There is an arc in the scene. And that's the trick is writing is fractal. We get very geeky when it's just you and me.
Christine: I know, I kinda miss this, we haven't done this in a while, it’s fun.
John: Yeah, writing is fractal. Every show has a three act structure, every act is a three act structure, every scene has a three act structure.
Christine: Absolutely.
John: And, you know, if there's not a goal-
Christine: Whether it’s three lines or no lines or-
John: Exactly. If there's not a goal and not opposition, then you shouldn't be watching it happen.
Christine: Absolutely. And these two really dug in and it was magic to watch. I mean some of the best times were just sitting there watching them.
John: And I also love when Gina gets to do this, when she gets to do the lean forward hook.
Christine: Oh, man.
John: Because a lot of times she's playing slightly bitter characters, so she can't play the physical intimacy.
Christine: Mhhm.
John: I remember when we did the pilot, and she did the similar thing to Saul Rubinek.
Christine: Mhhm.
John: Who of course has been acting for ages. Saul is one of the best actors I've ever seen in my life.
Christine: Absolutely.
John: And we broke and walked over and Saul was leaning against the railing. I said, “You ok?” He went, “You have no idea what it's like to have the full force of that woman's attention.”
[Laughter]
John: “I just- I need a moment.”
Christine: Mhhm.
John: She's great in this.
Christine: You know, we know why she's the greatest grifter, this is why. And these two. Hilarious.
John: Always hilarious. You cannot go wrong with a Hardison/Eliot scene. Oh and the little throwaway- by the way, this is nice, too, because it's not bickering.
Christine: Right.
John: You know.
Christine: They are working together, and-
John: If you go back and look at the season, you can see that to a great degree, their relationship has evolved.
Christine: Mhhm.
John: And when they’re arguing, it’s because Hardison, quite frankly, is doing something stupid or dangerous.
Christine: Right.
John: All Eliot wants to do-
Christine: Well Eliot cares about him!
John: Eliot has wanted to have one job: keep all of these idiots alive.
Christine: Right.
John: That's it. It's just- keep them alive until they get- you know, until they are finished with the con.
Christine: He is the rational center.
[Laughter]
John: Eliot has the best sense of judgment on the crew. I say this constantly. Nate Ford is not good at escape plans.
Christine: No.
John: No. Eliot has the hardest job on the crew.
Christine: Parker can escape, but you know, by herself.
John: This is why I know, by the way, it’s you and I doing this because we're such writer geeks, we’re not really talking about the actors as much as we do on the other ones.
Christine: I know! We really should be!
[Laughter]
John: It's like right now in the internal life of the character.
Christine: Right! So. No, but I will say the Hardison/Eliot stuff- it was nice to have Millicent there. She's directed so many different, you know, various things, but she's also directed a lot of 30 Rock. That helped.
John: Yeah.
Christine: The kinda comic pacing and timing, It worked with the boys’ sensibilities. We had a nice fun set, and stuff moved along at a nice clip. Which is good considering it was a breakneck schedule.
[Laughter]
John: Yeah it's always a break- yeah, it's always horrible.
Christine: As usual, it's a breakneck schedule.
John: No, if you were to play this whole scene back to back it'd be- it’s an act!
Christine: Yeah.
John: It's almost an entire act, isn't it?
Christine: You look at me like I should be surprised at that.
John: Yeah, it's like a ten page scene.
Christine: I am not surprised at all! [Laughs]
John: And now the we think things have gone horribly wrong.
Christine: Janet Penner, she's lovely! Lovely local actress
John: Who's that? I'm sorry?
Christine: Janet Penner, local actress who was wonderful, and imperious in ways. Just, you know, yeah, she scared me.
John: Where do we come up with this twist, that she knew her? I'm trying to remember-
Christine: Well, we had talked about- it’s coming off of the Jimmy Papodakalis thing we'd been talking about earlier that, you know, they've got these personas. 
John: Yeah.
Christine: And to get that deep into a grift-
John: Yeah.
Christine: You know, she'd been running this-
John: Sophie was the long con.
Christine: For a long time. Yeah.
John: Exactly.
Christine: This is a long con.
John: And this is also something that- this is some backstory Gina had given me first year.
Christine: Mhhm.
John: Gina has an entire Sophie backstory in her head. And we talked about how actors prepare, you know, Gina had the backstory. Beth has a little bit, Eliot has a very- Christain has a very detailed backstory. Hardison has a little bit. Tim, it’s very organic, he kinda plays it every year.
Christine: Mhhm.
John: And fills in the backstory as he wants to evolve the character. Again, t-shirt really? That warm in that hotel room?
Christine: Uhh, look at all the work he's doing. 
John: Yeah? Really?
Christine: Yes.
John: Good to know. 
Christine: It's England. The AC doesn't work there. Also it’s winter.
John: I didn't know that. Huh.
[Laughter]
Christine: This hotel because it's very old, and it's hot.
John: Oh wow, good way to fill it in.
Christine: It’s not wired for that.
John: I'm just saying.
Christine: You know.
John: If I put Beth in an outfit like that, I’d-
Christine: I would like- exhibit A, Beth's outfit.
John: Oh, there you go.
[Laughter]
John: What's always also fun is we don't often play a Parker and Eliot versus Hardison scene.
Christine: Mhhm.
John: It's usually the other way around.
Christine: That was fun.
John: Yeah, it was a lot of fun just realizing he's a little overinvested. And the big thumbs up! I love the big thumbs up.
Christine: Oh man, hilarious. The IV pole with ink made me laugh so hard.
[Laughter]
Christine: That was a lot of fun to put together.
John: That was great set dec, that was really nice.
Christine: Oh man, they're great.
John: And now a big giant bombshell about Sophie's past; this was a lot of fun.
Christine: In a big giant hat as well. You had to have some big giant hats, or else this whole episode wouldn’t work.
John: Seriously, it's just- this thing is one long-
[Laughter]
John: Working at your subconscious in one long thing in this episode. And now we mention that we both plant the Moreau, remind people about Moreau, also I plant San Lorenzo.
Christine: Yes.
John: Which is important.
Christine: All leading up to the explosive finale.
John: The explos- wow. That- you really sounded like an announcer.
Christine: [Laughs] I can do a sound bite, I can do it.
John: There you go. I love how Tim’s playing this revelation. He's not being judgemental-
Christine: No.
John: But he's finally- he's got a giant chess set in his head of trying to put together Sophie's life, and this falls in.
Christine: Oh, yeah.
John: You know. It was tricky to figure out how to make sure it wasn't her name. And it was actually Gina who gave us the answer.
Christine: Yes, absolutely. And this is why you have to have intelligent actors to work with, who can participate.
John: Because we had this great bit and it was all “How do we write around her never saying her real name?”
Christine: Right.
John: And it was all this sort of dancing, and then Gina said, “Well it’s my stage name.”
Christine: Mhhm.
John: You know, she met me when I was an actress, and-
Christine: It's perfect.
John: Thank you so much.
Christine: And there was a lot of discussion about the lines of succession, and the royal houses, and yes, ours are a little bit- these are the royal houses in the Leverage-verse.
[Laughter]
John: Yes. There was a slight- there was a slight hiccup in the Edwardian succession that really- 
[Laughter]
John: It changed the Leverage-verse history slightly. Also zeppelins. Which you don't usually see cause we don't shoot the sky.
Christine: Yes. Also steampowered things.
John: This is- Leverage-verse is a little steampunk.
Christine: It is a little steampunk-y.
John: You hear- you see the great thing I heard the other day I put it on the- steampunk is what happens when goths discover brown.
Christine: Ohhh, wow.
[Laughter]
Christine: That's fantastic. 
John: Great- is that another white scarf? That is gorgeous.
Christine: Yeah, look how nice.
John: That is a great outfit.
Christine: Look how nice. He really, you know, he just looked great. [Laughs] Between takes I'm like, “Tim, beautiful.”
John: I know.
Christine: Beautiful. He enjoyed wearing nice clothes.
John: And then we had the full- this one, again, could be two episodes crammed into one.
Christine: I don't know what youre talking about. [Laughs]
John: We do a thing at the airport, and then we do a blown con, and then we do a hook-
Christine: Mhhm.
John: And we forge an antiquity, and now we steal an auction.
Christine: Right.
John: And we’re in act three.
Christine: Yes. I mean we bury the real bait inside the thing.
[Laughter]
John: Yes, exactly. No, and it was a lot of fun too, was coming up with the way that fourth act paid off.
Christine: Yes, brilliant.
John: That was nice.
Christine: That was- that was-
John: We’ve been wanting to do that for a while- well we'd been wanting to do that for a while, because Russian icons always kinda fascinate me.
Christine: Yes.
John: The idea of art that doesn't look like art.
Christine: Oh, is this something you're obsessed with?
[Laughter]
John: No not obsessed, just I have a big-
Christine: Super interested in.
John: Chris Downey calls it my big doctor's bag of bullshit.
[Laughter]
John: I have a giant doctor's bag of just random stuff that I've picked up from being odd. I also love that- just the- him drying it.
Christine: Oh man, manicure dryer.
John: The manicure dryer. Great bit.
Christine: They- the props, oh my god it's just- oh my god. Props and set dec working together to create genius in that whole sequence.
John: And that's great, all you have to do is pan across one- just one car with the steering wheel on the wrong side and you're in London.
Christine: That’s all you need, you're in London, look at these toughs.
John: And having been to London, by the way, yeah that's pretty much what it looks like.
Christine: I mean, Portland giveth.
John: Portland giveth. I also love the- this is kind of a callback to the overly loquacious villain in The Future Job.
Christine: Little bit.
John: A little bit.
Christine: Little bit. [Laughs] A little bit.
John: This may be related to, occasionally, when I drink the room I go into the villain speeches.
Christine: Yes, and they're long!
[Laughter]
John: They're long. They're long villain speeches. I think villains have rich internal lives.
Christine: Also, we like British thug movies. We like these kind of, you know-
John: Yes, exactly, this is where the show becomes snatched. Just for like-
Christine: A little bit.
John: This side of it.
Christine: Kinda love that.
John: Also we got the ‘very distinctive’ joke back.
Christine: Mhhm.
John: Which I always love. 
Christine: Yeah, that worked out really well. And Ollie and Christain had a good time with those-
John: Yeah.
Christine: With all those takes and- hilarious for us.
[Laughter]
John: And now the stall. It's tricky, it's one of those things where the audience- television is tricky in that shows really are- the fates of shows- you generally know what's gonna happen in a show. And so trying to figure out how to create obstacles without them being schmut bait.
Christine: Mhhm.
John: You know, is it a stall? Is it really something going wrong?
Christine: And there are moments that just rest entirely on Sophie's ability to charm the pants off of him.
John: Yes.
Christine: And it works!
John: It works, absolutely. Yeah, and then she drops back into the other character. No, it's lovely.
Christine: Just so easily.
[Silence]
John: We’re doing that thing where we just watch the episode.
Christine: Yeah, it's really good, right?
[Laughter]
John: I hate when that happens.
Christine: Ah, I love that angle, and this.
John: Yeah and this.
[Laughter]
Christine: Also fun.
John: Honing door rule by the way - if we can avoid it, we never show Parker arriving in a scene.
Christine: Right, she appears like a sprite.
John: Ye- like a sprite? Really? I was gonna say ghost or wraith-
Christine: Sprite! Sprite’s are terrifying.
John: This was fantastic!
Christine: Oh.
John: We had like a whole mini con set up, and- how did we- how did that happen?
Christine: Ok, that was a joke- you know what? That's my husband's joke.
[Laughter]
Christine: That's weird! Yeah, it was a joke that Eric and I-
John: We should say Chrisitne got married, like, three days ago.
Christine: I got married a couple days ago, yeah. It's a joke Eric and I had thrown back and forth, and I believe he had made to you. We were having dinner with Wil Wheaton one night, and he made that joke in the parking lot.
John: That's right.
Christine: And we had been bantering it back and forth and then I'm going over the script and I thought, “Ooh, right here!” And he said, “Yeah, use it! Do it!” I said, “Wait, is that somebody else's?” He said, “No, I think that's ours! Or mine! Or somebody’s!”
John: All good things come from Wil Wheaton.
Christine: So there you go, yeah.
John: There you go. So if you wanna write, Wil Wheaton.
Christine: Go have dinner with Wil Wheaton, and he will inspire you to great jokes.
John: And if he says he's busy, just don't listen to him. Just break into his house and have dinner with him and good things will happen.
[Laughter]
Christine: He’ll love- he’ll respond to that.
John: This was a ton of fun.
Christine: Oh man [Laughs]
John: This came out of the original scene where she said, “Ooh, the last time I saw you was in The Louvre.”
Christine: Right!
John: The idea of Parker doing an auction of stuff that she at some point had her hands on? Lovely.
Christine: And it comes back to, you know, the theme of these are objects you can touch. These are objects that she has touched and moved at some point.
John: Well, it- also we had talked about the idea, we had had to create Parker's living space for episode five, and the idea that just in the darkness past that, there's just piles of this stuff!
[Laughter]
Christine: Yeah!
John: She has priceless artifacts sitting in a warehouse in Boston.
Christine: Mhhm.
John: Because she likes having them.
Christine: That's right, why not?
John: And then we wound up paying it off in Ho Ho Ho when that's the stuff she hangs on the Christmas tree.
Christine: They do pay off the storage units.
John: We do, the storage units-
Christine: Full payoffs.
John: I have a storage unit, so I know how-
Christine: So do I.
John: Oh you have a storage unit now?
Christine: I do. I'm a married woman now; I have a storage unit.
John: Exactly, had to move all your stuff.
Christine: How else to lure the young unsuspecting-
John: No, don't! Don't go there!
[Laughter]
Christine: Boxes of comic books! Into your storage unit!
John: Oh, I was thinking of another one.
Christine: Oh.
John: And I love- you know what? We talk about the different moods of the actors, Aldis’s ability to make Hardison convey that no one appreciates he's a genius is just great.
Christine: Ohh.
John: It's my favorite recurring bit on the show. That's a great shot, by the way.
Christine: Ooh, ooh, great shot.
John: That's a gorgeous shot. 
Christine: Sexy. Wow.
John: I wouldn't have thought of that shot in a million years, that's really nice that light coming through.
Christine: She really uses the room, and she and Dave Connell worked really well together to design these shots.
John: Also a good reminder that Hardison is not necessarily the most athletic guy in the world.
Christine: Right.
[Laughter]
Christine: He looks really good, but he's not out there running all day long like Eliot is.
John: He's not- yeah. 
Christine: Finding the right pair of glasses, that was a lot of fun..
John: Yeah.
Christine: Some were too insanely comic, some were too serious, these were perfect.
John: And his frustration- just take the damn thing! I'm sick of your toying!
Christine: Yeah.
[Laughter]
John: Yeah, and that's, you know, one of the reasons I think he wants to- that character wants to run his own crew is he’s sick of, you know, he's sick of being unappreciated.
Christine: Mhhm absolutely. Well it's- when you're the youngest person in a group, it can be- it can be difficult.
John: Yeah. And the little tap, the little little push, yeah paying off the NLP and the other stuff. This was great.
Christine: Oh, he's lovely.
John: Casting- how is he referred to in the script?
Christine: [Laughs] What did we call him? Pretentious…something?
John: Yes, he's like eurotrash.
Christine: I- he said, “How do I play it?” I said, “Like a Whit Stillman character.” And not a lot of people knew who I was talking about.
[Laughter]
Christine: Cause he's quite young, this actor.
John: The pink shirt really lands it.
Christine: The pink shirt really, yeah. And he was lovely.
John: And then again, the same thing, trying to create an obstacle in order to-
Christine: American fop?
John: American fop! I think it was that.
Christine: I think it was American fop.
John: And this was interesting, too, one of those things where we were trying to figure out- we had to have a problem during the auction, and so why would there be a problem? Well, we had to create one, we had to create an obstacle for the other character, which meant we had to create parameters. Parameters gave us the $250,000. 
Christine: Mhhm.
John: It's amazing how much you work backwards.
Christine: Yeah.
John: You know, you work backwards from the conflict, and come up with the rules for the conflict and around the most interesting version.
Christine: And then it feels like the most natural thing in the world. 
John: Yeah.
Christine: Which is a great moment. Many scotches later.
[Laughter]
John: Many scotches.
Christine: Oh the storage unit!
John: Mostly Irish whiskey this year. Ah, the storage unit. And again, this was fun because really trying to figure out- we had originally broken this to be on the docks.
Christine: Mhhm.
John: And then when budgetary constraints said perhaps we could not go and fake up the docks of London, we went back to the ending of the season one finale, where we established that she had the storage unit and that she was- it was one of many.
Christine: Yeah, why wouldn't she have many all over the place?
John: Yeah.
Christine: Smells the book.
John: We use all the parts of the buffalo.
[Laughter]
John: And the little bit of joy there. The little- the victory lap, yeah.
Christine: He made that from nothing!
[Laughter]
Christine: It is one of my favorite things I've ever written if I do say so, was the “I have gone from apprentice to journeyman to master.” And he did such a good job [Laughs] on that!
John: He really did.
Christine: Cause it was the- it felt very analogous to the writer's career.
John: Well, it was very- he really dug in on the mania of it.
Christine: Mhhm.
John: And then Sophie being left behind. Now-
Christine: Yeah.
John: I always wondered, did we- was an integral part of the con? No, he bailed on her.
Christine: No, he bails on her. Cause, I mean, you know, scorpion’s a scorpion.
John: Yeah. Exactly.
Christine: [Laughs] Always count on a scorpion to be a scorpion.
John: Also, I remember we had a long discussion about exactly what- how she would feel about this moment. I mean, on one hand, it's getting her off the hook, on the other hand, it's kinda a painful reminder exactly why she became a grifter.
Christine: Absolutely. And that's the part I wanted to deal with, was the latter. Because this persona’s taken a lot of beatings.
John: Yeah.
Christine: She had a hard time with this. With this long con, and revisiting it is not something I think she thought she would ever do.
John: Yeah. And that's the mistake you make, you get too close to Eliot with a gun.
Christine: Mhhm. Oh, oh sad.
John: And the out. You can never go wrong on an act out with a guy drawing a gun.
Christine: Take the gun out!
John: Now, he's drawing on Eliot so we all know how this is gonna end. But the fun was coming up with a creative way to beat the hell out of three guys.
Christine: Oh, yes.
John: Belt fu! First time we've done belt fu.
[Laughter]
Christine: Belt fu!
John: First time we've done that. That was-
Christine: But he does try to explain first. [Laughs]
John: Yes it's like he’s- actually grown to like this guy-
Christine: Yeah!
John: And would prefer not to beat the hell out of him.
Christine: They have a professional respect, but you know, the job’s gotta be done. There you go.
John: Yeah. And the belt!
Christine: Mhhm.
John: This came out of, I think, the big bag of old Jackie Chan writing.
Christine: This was- yeah. Mhhm
John: This- I think we use this on a Jackie Chan animated episode.
[Laughter]
John: I think I went in there. No, this is a great fight actually. And the snap! That's gotta hurt.
Christine: Oh man. And it's funny. I do say that action’s not my strong suit, but fights I love.
John: You do love a good fight. 
Christine: I love fights.
John: Well, you know, what if they had swords, you'd be the happiest girl in the world.
Christine: Absolutely! Well ‘cause fights are about character.
John: Yes.
Christine: Fights are all about character.
John: How someone fights, how they handle the geography, the choices they make-
Christine: Absolutely.
John: How they escalate violence. It's one of the things we talk about with Eliot, we never try to give him just a fight scene, he always has an attitude on the fight scene.
Christine: Mhhm.
John: And hoisted by your own petard, sir.
Christine: Ohhh
John: Hoisted by your own petard.
Christine: Basil Harris, local actor, nice guy.
John: Oh yeah, no really- nice guy, nice performance.
Christine: Yeah, he's really good, right? But he's really-
John: And this looks sufficiently different from the other airport.
Christine: Look at that! This was late at night. [Laughs]
John: How late?
Christine: Very late.
John: Yeah. We tend to go a little late.
Christine: Those were late days.
John: No, coming up with- it’s interesting, it's one of the recurring themes of the show- that's me rubbing my face, by the way, cause my voice went weird cause lord, I'm tired of doing this.
[Christine Laughs]
John: Is how you move stuff.
Christine: Yeah.
John: How you move stuff- when we did Rashomon Job, at one point we had four little paper cups with different things simulating the object moving around.
Christine: Oh yeah.
John: You know, it's a lot like- it is- you know what? That's why, I suppose you watched Jonathan Creek, it’s like a magic trick.
Christine: It's a magic trick, yeah.
John: It’s a magic trick. And no, it's a lot like designing a magic trick from the ground up.
Christine: Yeah. 
John: And-
Christine: And again, it's the physical object of it all.
John: Yeah. And we talk about this actually on another commentary when we did Scheherazade Job, it’s like when you do a high concept episode, you need- when you do a heisty episode, you need something you can hold.
Christine: Oh yeah.
John: Like it was diamonds for that one. You need very clean simple goals.
Christine: Mhhm. The audience can track.
John: Alright, this actually- you wrote this.
[Laughter]
John: At a ridiculous time of night. At a ridiculous time, and you wrote the whole, “What's all this, then?”
Christine: “What's all this, then?” Come on, I did that on purpose!
John: Which- on purpose. And you gave me the draft and I laughed my ass off. I'm like, “Now you're screwed, cause it's staying in.”
Christine: Of course!
John: And is the classic Monty Python- that is the classic 1930s stage show arrival of the cops.
Christine: Of course!
John: Really mandatory.
Christine: Absolutely mandatory.
John: For the arrival of the police.
Christine: I write to make you laugh, sir.
John: Thank you.
Christine: I write to entertain you. Look! Look, she's ok!
John: She's being reunited with this lovely- her aunt and uncle.
Christine: She's gonna go live in New jersey!
John: Oh that's great.
Christine: It's fine!
John: She's got an education, maybe go to Stanford.
Christine: Aww, that's great!
John: She's got a beautiful future because-
Christine: She's gonna go fight for women's rights in the middle east, it's gonna be wonderful!
John: Exactly, because of our horribly immoral, immoral, crew.
[Laughter]
Christine: Yay bad guys! Who are good guys! Yay!
John: Yay!
Christine: Also-
John: It gets a little fuzzy at the end of the season this year.
Christine: Having Eliot speak Arabic, super hot. On a list of hot things.
John: It's interesting-
Christine: Languages you didn't know they knew, but you assume they knew.
John: Always interesting doing the commentaries with a female writer. 
[Laughter]
John: There's a lot of stuff I didn't know we did just cause it was hot.
Christine: The ladies do things that are super hot.
John: No, no, I'm very scrupulous.
Christine: Everything Gina does in this episode is hot.
John: Yes, but that's because she's hot. That just happens.
Christine: Yes, correct.
John: No, this is a great walk away and a great acknowledgement of- and the great ‘Screw you that you don't really know my name.’
Christine: Mhhm. Millicent came into, you know, she was- it was her first episode, she directed the hell out of this.
John: Oh I could not be happier. This feels- and there's- yeah, she's actually handling the dog tags!
Christine: Mhhm. yes.
John: There, which are- which do not- which are blank. And we wound up- although the audience doesn't know they are blank, the crew does. It's interesting she was actually playing to the cast at that moment, not the characters. We wound up writing it into the Ho Ho Ho Job, because Gina came up with the idea that she wears blank dog tags so we wrote it into an episode.
Christine: That's great.
John: Great. This is the only time I think ever, other than the two part season finale, we hint at the next episode.
Christine: Mhhm. That was fun hinging-
John: Yeah. There was a lot of- there’s advantages to serialization, you're always tempted, it just carries momentum forward. I love Parker's smile at the end of that. That’s-
Christine: That was a lot of fun!
John: That was your last episode for this season.
Christine: That was my last episode for the season.
John: You did a great job.
Christine: It was a fun season.
John: I hope you enjoyed that. This is John Rogers.
Christine: This is Christine Boylan!
John: And stay tuned to put another DVD in, because it is a lot more, including explosions.
Christine: A lot more.
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woniverse-writes · 1 year ago
Note
Hey so I’ve been a huge fan of all your works with Bada and I was wondering if you could do a request for me with bada.
So reader is in BEBE and is born in 1997 which makes her the 2nd oldest in the group but she tends to be almost like the maknae ,always laughing (obviously very serious when it comes to dancing) smiling (not always acting cute it annoys me 🙃) and like how Bada, Lusher, Tatter, Kyma, Minha, Cheche, and Soweon always look at her in like adoration.
Obviously you can change it/interpret how you want too.
And I’m very sorry if it doesn’t make sense
Thanks ☺️
“Sweet Bebe”
bada lee x teammate!reader
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summary: being one of the oldest members of your crew typically meant you were supposed to look out for the younger members, which you still do! except everyone seems to be looking out for you more due to your clumsy and energetic personality.
word count: 3.3k
warnings: the first 600-ish words have like- nothing to do with Bada and it's all backstory i'm so sorry lmao, i don't really like how this turned out but i hope you do, not proofread
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Typically being one of the oldest members of any team or crew meant you had to carry some sort of authority or responsibility… that was not the case for Y/n. being the second oldest member of the dance crew Bebe, meant absolutely nothing to her on most days. She did happen to take on the motherly role a lot of the time, but more so in a fun, cutely caring for her members type of way. It was almost as if she took care of her members by letting them take care of her. The youngest teammates specifically liked to baby her, getting a kick out of their cute older sister.
Even before it had been decided that the crew would come together for Street Woman Fighter season 2, the girl had been just as lively and attentive to her friends, always making sure to have a positive energy and smile on her face when in the studio.
Y/n and Bada had known each other since the younger was in college. She had begun training under SM in her last year of middle school, focusing on becoming a vocalist at the time, but transitioned into focusing on dance in her second year of high school. Y/n was a part of SM Rookie and had almost debuted with Red Velvet at the same time as Yeri, but ultimately the company decided they only wanted to add one member and thought Yeri was a better fit. When she entered university, she stopped training to be an idol but decided to stick with dance, majoring in performance and choreography. By the time she was 19 she was already choreographing for some big groups. 
Y/n’s first step into the kpop industry was when she worked with Lia Kim on Twice’s “TT”, coming up with the iconic hand gesture herself, but many don’t associate her with the dance since she wasn’t credited at first as a rookie choreographer. By the time she did receive credit, people already knew the choreography as solely Lia Kim’s. But the younger girl wasn’t phased, seeing as she was invited back a little less than a year later to choreograph Twice’s “signal” all by herself.
The young choreographer began to gain even more recognition after working on “Likey”, coming up with three different versions of the dance break and eventually posting all three to her social media accounts. She continued working with Twice and choreographed for “Heart Shaker”, “Candy Pop”, “What is Love”, “Dance the Night Away”, and “Yes or Yes. She secured a position as an in-house choreographer for JYP, specifically Twice at such a young age, and national and international supporters alike were impressed were her skills. What many people didn’t know was that she was invited to choreograph “Red Flavor” by Red Velvet and initially agreed, and choreographed the routine, but SM ended up not using her choreography. The poor girl was really starting to think they had some hidden agenda against her.
Y/n’s popularity was on a gradual upward incline and suddenly boomed when “Fancy” was released, seeing as the song was a turning point for the group. It was also the first time she took on a director position instead of just a choreographer. Y/n was offered the role of creative director on top of main choreographer. Things only continued to get better for her career after she produced the moves and creative brief for “breakthrough”, which caused people to realize the girl was capable of doing more than just cute dances. As soon as “Feel Special” was released, y/n was getting calls left and right, especially from SM.
They offered her the main choreographer position for Red Velvet’s next comeback, “Psycho”. She was skeptical at first due to their lackadaisical behavior when working with her but ultimately agreed since she had nothing else at the time. Y/n submitted her dance, expecting to not hear back after that and be left to assume they went with another choreographer. So when she got a phone call a couple of days later asking her if she’d be able to begin teaching the choreography the following day, the girl just about died on the spot. “Psycho” was released and everyone was OBSESSED with the choreography.
This was about the time when Bada and Y/n first met. At the end of 2019, SM was having its annual end-of-the-year celebration, inviting all of its artists and staff, including any choreographer who worked in-house or was brought in specifically at any point. Y/n originally intended on not going but ultimately decided she would after realizing it could be a good networking opportunity. 
Y/n wasn’t cocky by any means, but she was confident. The girl was bubbly and charming, so naturally she attracted people, including Bada Lee. the tall dancer approached the younger girl and professionally introduced herself. 
“You’re Y/n L/n, correct?” to which the younger smiled even wider and nodded enthusiastically. Bada couldn’t help but giggle at the girl’s bright energy, liking how it stuck out against the blandness that typically came with business parties. 
“I really love your work. It’s so refreshing, and even your more mature choreographies have this energizing quality to them…” the tall dancer complimented and y/n could feel her face heat up, eyes widening, and mouth falling open. She stammered for a moment, overjoyed with the compliment.
“Thank you so much- I- you don’t understand how much that means to me. Truly, thank you.” her smile was so huge that Bada thought if it got any bigger the poor girl’s face would split open, but the older of the two was simply endeared. They stuck by each other’s sides practically the whole night after that… and they haven’t parted since.
“My sweet angel dearest… can you please sit down?” the Bebe leader jokingly requested as she and her teammates observed their second eldest member bouncing around the room at lightning speed. They all stifled giggles and wore smiles of adoration as they continued to watch Y/n smile and explore their new team space. The girls loved how energetic and bubbly she was, thinking of it as a strength since the rest of them were more chill and reserved. Having y/n around kept the team’s morale high, since she’s always the one to check up on everyone, always first to cheer someone up, and always making sure everyone is taken care of before and after they start practice.
“Unnie- you know I can’t just sit and do nothing while we wait. This is all too exciting!!” which caused Bada to just smile and shake her head. The leader loved all of her crew members but had a specific soft spot for Y/n seeing as she’d known her the longest out of all of the others (and the girl may or may not make her heart flutter).
The monitor lit up and an announcement popped up on the screen. The girls all made a noise of shock, and Y/n quickly ran to seat herself in the empty space left between Bada and Tatter
“Our baby” the blonde patted the older girl’s head endearingly, causing her to giggle
“Noooo, you’re MY baby, hmph” she retorted, wrapping her arms around the other and squeezing her gently while fake pouting. The screen told them they were now allowed to head down to the fight zone and Y/n sprung back up with a small noise of excitement. She and Bada were the first two to lead the group down, the older one smiling softly at her slightly younger teammate who looked around with wide sparkly eyes. Once they were in the center of the dance floor a video began playing.
“Their team was just formed within the last year…they can’t have very good chemistry”
“People only know Bada and Y/n”
“Bada is more popular than her talents”
“Y/n won’t be able to keep up… she’s a good choreographer but she’s too soft for a competition like this” Y/n laughed loudly at this one, not being able to take anyone seriously, especially Mina Myoung who found an issue with everyone. Bada on the other hand was far from amused. The leader glared at the screen until the video ended, then scoffed as she began heading over to their team’s designated seats.
“Unnie, don’t get so worked up- they’re obviously just trying to get a reaction and it’s clearly working, so don’t let them see it…” the second oldest gently comforted the leader with a hand on her shoulder. Y/n had taken her seat right next to Bada, which had become the usual for them. No matter where they went, whether it was just the two of them, all of team Bebe, or even them and some other people; Y/n always found her place next to Bada. Y/n and Bada had become practically inseparable since that night they met.
Bada grabbed the hand that was on her shoulder and gently began stroking the back of it with her thumb, and Y/n’s immediate response was to plop her head down as a replacement. The leader couldn’t help the chuckle that left her at the girl’s reaction, she could practically see her tail wagging if she had one. The other Bebe members loved to call Y/n “baby-unnie” or just “baby” because of how soft and cute she was, but they often called her “puppy” as well due to her energetic and bright personality. It was typically the younger members who called her this, but occasionally Bada would take part in the teasing, loving how flushed the girl’s face got when she specifically called her by those names.
The other crews arrived and of course, Bebe held up their chill, cool-girl image. Even y/n looked intimidating with how pretty she was and how relaxed her smile had become. After all the other videos were played, the teams changed into more relaxed clothing, preparing for the no-respect battles. When they returned the leaders of each crew handed out the ‘no-respect’ stickers to each dancer. While most of Bebe didn’t have any Bada and Y/n were the only two who did, with the leader having two and the second oldest having five.
“I still can’t believe you got that many votes…” Kyma mumbled in astonishment as she watched Lusher and Tatter place the stickers all over their member. Y/n just laughed and shrugged.
“They don’t think I can battle, that’s why- but it’s okay cuz now I get to show everyone how wrong they were…” she calmly and cooly explained, patting Kyma on the head as the other two members finished with the stickers. The battles began and the first dancer called was Redy from 1 Million.
Redy chose Bada as her no-respect dancer due to some personal issue that occurred between the two at some point. The younger dancer did put up a pretty good fight, but Bada was practically untouchable. Y/n was jumping up and down and screaming as loud as possible at her leader, the smile on her face almost painful at this point. 
When Bada finished she cooly headed back over to her team and Y/n pounced on her, wrapping her arms around the older girl's neck. The leader laughed and loosely wrapped her arms around Y/n’s waist, the two staying like that for a few moments until the applause died down. Once it was time to announce the results, Bada headed back to the center while her crew waited patiently behind her. When the judges announced her as the winner of the battle, Y/n was jumping seven feet in the air, rushing to cling to Bada again.
A few more battles went by before Y/n was called for her first one, the challenger being Gooseul from Deep n Dap. The Bebe dancer was a bit shocked, not knowing much of her or the crew besides Mina Myoung. The battle started with the pink-haired dancer- she wasn’t bad, but still very obviously an amateur. Her 40 seconds went back and it was Y/n’s turn. “One Dance” by Drake started playing and the girl immediately got into the vibe. She sensually grooved to the rhythm and naturally hit every beat, creating a dynamic performance. Her facials were completely different than usual- eyes taking on the look of a siren instead of the angel Y/n usually appeared to be. 
“Oh my god- her face totally changed…”
“I knew I was gonna regret picking her…”
“Bebe is really just a team full of dancers that know how to attract women-”
Bada smirked picking up all the little comments she was hearing from around the arena, but ultimately focusing on her girl tearing up the stage in front of her. The battle ended and as soon as she was done dancing, Y/n blinked and was back to her sweet self. Sparkly eyes and a bright smile taking over, the second-oldest Bebe member turned to her members who all embraced her in a giant hug, squeezing her and squishing her face, cooing and awing at her.
“Unnie- how dare you dance like that! You’re just a baby!” Minah joked while holding Y/n’s face in her hands, causing the rest of the team to laugh and tease her. The winner was announced, and when the judges all held up team Bebe’s blue card, the members stormed the stage and cheered on their member once again. When Y/n had to go over to Deep and Dap and place the loser plaque on their board, she made sure to thank Gooseul and shake her hand. She returned to her team and they all made sure to pat her on the head or shoulder, showing their final bits of appreciation for their baby-unnie.
“Isn’t Y/n one of the oldest?” JJ turned to Mina after watching Bebe act affectionately toward her.
“Yeah- it goes Bada then her then the others… why?” the DnD leader questioned.
“She just seems so young… and they all treat her like their baby- I would’ve guessed she was the maknae” the expressive girl seriously remarked in an entertaining matter, genuinely surprised at how old the other dancer actually was.
When Bada and Redlic faced against each other, Y/n was interested to see how it would turn out seeing as Redlic didn’t really seem to be on her game today. The second oldest Bebe member was used to the blonde being a pretty good dancer and decent at improv, so her performances today were really disappointing and confusing. Y/n lost interest after Redlic’s second spin around, but then got all up in Bada’s face putting her hands all over the tall dancer, getting more of a reaction out of her team member than her.
“What was that…” Y/n and Lusher were side-eyeing each other, not liking the interaction at all. the younger of the two being the only one to know about the leader’s and second oldest’s true feelings for each other, was a huge supporter of them- even though everyone else thought she was delusional.
“Unnie how are you not losing your shit right now…” Lusher mumbled, eyes trained on the blonde dancer still all up on Bada. when she didn’t get any response, the younger member looked over and was immediately shocked by the expression Y/n had. An icy glare and condescending smirk took over her features, hinting at the slightest bit of disgust. When Redlic’s turn was over Bada’s music started playing and her body immediately reacted to the beat. She walked around a bit to really get into it, turning to meet her teammates’ gazes briefly. She makes eye contact with Y/n, who has a very serious (and lowkey scary) expression
“Eat her up… or I’ll kill you” The other members struggled not to react to the out-of-character comment and keep up their hype, but Bada was completely unphased. While others only saw the refreshing side of Y/n, Bada got to experience just how serious and sometimes vicious the girl can get (especially when threatened). So instead of having an internal panic like the others, she just smirked slightly and continued to get in the groove.
Bada began dancing hitting every mark and beat, facials on point, and truly getting into the rhythm of the song. It was like the music was inside her with how easily she reacted. Her team’s screams and cheers carried her through the rest of the performance and the second her music ended she circled back around to her team, stopping at Y/n who stood with a satisfied smile. They all stood together as they awaited the results, the leader standing tall and relaxed with her arm draped over the second-oldest member’s shoulders. Y/n stood intimidatingly with her arms crossed, glaring at the other team until Bebe was once again announced as the winner. Her eyes quickly lit up and her smile returned, turning in Bada’s hold to wrap her arms around the older girl’s waist.
“I wasn’t worried at all, but I really hated watching her dance…” she mumbled into the leader’s chest, who just laughed loudly and patted her head before squeezing her tightly. Bada placed the loser plaque onto Mannequeen’s board and calmly strutted back over to her team. She took her place next to Y/n who leaned into her side with a pout, causing the older to roll her eyes and chuckle before wrapping her arm around the younger girl again.
“You’re never this pouty- what’s up?” the leader whispered gently, playing with the ends of the other girl’s hair
“I just don’t like watching people dance with you like that… it’s annoying” Y/n mumbled, still pouting with arms slightly crossed. Bada tried to stifle her laugh and avoid teasing her teammate, but she honestly couldn’t pass up the opportunity. 
“Ayyyye… are you jealous?” the leader tried to tease and get a reaction out of her, hoping to see the younger dancer blush
“Yes! I didn’t like that…” Y/n admitted, not meeting the older girl’s eyes which were now boring into the side of her head. Bada tilted her head, a bit shocked at the statement and how open the younger was being. She was used to Y/n’s honesty, relying on it often, but the girl was never really open about her own feelings. She looked after the team with a gentle, motherly aura, allowing the girls to tease her and baby her in order to feel more relaxed. Y/n never seemed tired or upset when practices were harder than usual, so in all honesty, it was rare to see the girl in a mood like this. Bada knew the pout was mostly for show, but she could tell how serious Y/n was about being jealous. 
“Don’t worry, you’re my only baby…” She squeezed her shoulder and placed a gentle kiss on the top of her head before looking back toward the next set of dancers who were preparing to battle. Y/n’s eyes went slightly wide as she glanced over to the leader and her pout was broken after seeing the light blush on Bada’s face. She huffed out a soft laugh and snuggled back into the leader’s side, the rest of her team sitting behind them smiling with love and adoration at the two.
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permanent taglist: @uwulyn @luvjanexx @randomhoex @1luvkarina
569 notes · View notes
cleverwinepun · 2 years ago
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The Wine ‘fo Today
Forza Moscato! Look at this photo of her, why is it so funny? The closeup shot for no reason in the worlds crunchiest quality, for a quality ($5) wine.
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Alrighty, so of course I’m going to dedicate the first “professional wine taste tm” review to the wine that inspired me to start this little blog for myself. This wine was so good to me it got me to start a blog??? Idk at first I snapped a photo of the bottle IMMEDIATELY after having my first sip so I could remember I liked it and buy it in the future and then I thought hey why don’t I write this down? In fact I should write about all the wines I like, maybe even the ones I didn’t like. Maybe … like my own personal wine review journal? A BLOG? Why am i this passionate about wine ? Did I inherit the alcoholic gene? (Yes) I basically just wanted to scrapbook every drink I’ve ever liked for future reference and thought this was a pretty silly and elaborate way to do so.
I’m not sure how those professional wine tasters describe the wines they drink, what the notes are, how the hell they can tell the literal chemical compound of the liquid just by gargling it. All I know is that this wine just tastes like juice, n that’s why mama likey. My favorite wines are definitely the ones that are basically “fruit juice that makes my tummy feel funny” because I’m literally an overgrown child. This one was very lovely! Basically tasted like the white grape juice you find in the supermarket, and is only like 6 bucks. It’s main attribute is that it’s VERY sweet, like salivates your mouth upon contact sweet. I had it warm so this sweetness was probably a little more prominent thanks to that, and though I expressed to myself it would probably be even better chilled, I did not get to try it that way. I’m known to not be the best at sipping in moderation, and fruity drinks are always a very dangerous game because the less it tastes like alcohol, the faster I’m going to drink it, and the faster I will get drunk (This of course does not bother me, but definitely bothers my mother, the one who is actually doing the wine purchasing) Overall, just a very sweet drink I’d mostly recommend for a time you wish to experience a little jolt while you watch a silly show or something, but not really to accompany a nice dinner or anything. Maybe something to stick in the mango slushie you ordered with your Taco Bell meal while you watch Big Brother or some other drivel (slash positive).
Rating
I’m not exactly sure how this bottle got in my house? Some family came over earlier on the same day I tried the wine randomly at 3am, and it was just put out on the table. It was put out half empty though? Like it didn’t seem like my mother went out and bought it for the occasion that same morning, and I swear I’ve never seen the bottle before then? Where the hell could she have been hiding it if that was the case? When was she drinking this, because why else would it be half empty? Lot of unanswered questions with this bottle, but I’ve always liked my women a little mysterious. Anyways solid 5/5, but I am only going to be able to try her like three times because once again the bottle was presented half empty and I’m trying to do some Houdini level trickery to make it seem like the liquid level has not changed by keeping it above the bottom of the logo line so it’s not obvious I’ve been sneaking cups of it while everyone is asleep (how I enjoy most of my drinks). Can’t wait to buy her for myself in like a year and a month. Nummy nummy nummy.
My Sipping Buddy:
I really wanna include this segment to shoutout what I was doing or who I was with while enjoying the drink in question, but my very legit physic senses are telling me most of these are gonna be whatever silly YouTube video I watched while I drank bc I mostly drink alone in my bedroom at odd hours of the night, so…
My sipping buddy for this wine was Jenny Nicholson! Specifically this 3 hour docu-tube-mentary on Evermore; which despite it’s not super long timespan, took me like two whole days to watch?? Idk I kept stopping and attempting (and obviously failing) to watch it in odd places like in the shower. Anyways it left me longing for a alternate dimension where Evermore wasn’t a total flop and delivered on everything it said it would be and I got to go and I would officially be able to die the happiest person on planet earth because I was alive at a time where I could go to the coolest larping theme park on Earth. God I really wish Evermore turned out how it was envisioned. Great video though, Jenny is always a hoot, and I love a good deep dive into the most random shit.
youtube
Anyways my tummy hurts because my body is freaking out over not having a baby inside it this month and I am starting to physically feel my eyebags resting on my face so I’m not proof reading this and posting it now. But let’s be honest even if I wasn’t in excruciating pain I’m probably not gonna proofread anything I post here.
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milkiane · 3 years ago
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hope ur ok; rafe cameron
» address the letters, to the holes in my butterfly wings.
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SOUR COLLECTION
summary: a box from the past and a walk through memory lane made you realize that a lot of things changed, but no one would ever replace the boy that still held a special place in your heart.
warnings: profanities, mention of spider lol??, rafe’s full name is rafael because mama likey, mentions of food & alcoholic beverages, no obx 2 spoilers!!
word count: 4765
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“hey, y/n?”
you looked up from your phone as you heard the sound of your mother’s voice. she has been rummaging through her drawers for a solid few minutes now, and she still hasn’t found whatever she was looking for. “yeah, mom?”
“do you have some envelopes i could use?” she asked, wiping the sweat that formed on her forehead. “i just need to send something important, and i couldn’t find any.”
“i think so. i’ll go check my room,” you offered as you hopped down the stool.
“please,” she sighed, though an appreciative smile graced her lips, “thanks, hon.”
you hummed, running up the stairs to your room. you pushed the door open, and your nose wrinkled at the sight of your messy room.
you needed to do some cleaning -- and soon.
you went through your study table, your folder organizers, and under your bed, but you never found them anywhere. you swore you had them in here somewhere.
you grabbed the ottoman from your bedside and placed it in front of your open closet. even with the added height, it was still too low for you to reach the top, because you had to blindly pat around for something.
you managed to grab a hold of a box and a packet, which you assumed were the envelopes. you pulled them both from their confined place, but as soon as you brought them down, you let out a scream at the sight of the spider on top of the envelopes.
the ottoman rocked from the sudden movement, which resulted in you falling off with a loud thump.
“fuck,” you cursed, watching as the spider crawled away.
“are you okay?” your mom called out as you eyed the familiar shoebox that cracked open from the fall. “did you find the envelopes?”
“yeah…” you trailed off, eyeing the contents of the box as you pulled it towards you. “and more.”
“what was that?”
“nothing!” you exclaimed, grabbing the packet and handing it to her. “here’s the envelopes.”
“thanks, y/n,” she said as she placed a kiss on the side of your head before waving you off.
you walked back to where the box was, and you ran a finger through the numerous designs that it adorned. from stickers to doodles, the sight brought a smile to your face.
you looked through the entirety of its contents; photos, letters, movie stubs, receipts, and old drawings. it all brought you a wave of nostalgia and heartache.
there are a myriad of polaroids of you and rafe, each tugging a string of your heart. the photos did not only capture the raw bliss of the both of you, but also the story behind it.
the movie stubs and receipts from friendly date nights slowly faded away from age, but it still held a value that only you and him would ever appreciate.
and the love letters that were creased and folded from being reread time and time again. you grazed your thumb over the rumpled texture of one of the letters, ‘open this as soon as you get on the plane’.
dear y/n/n,
in this letter contains the words i was too afraid of telling you, so if you’ve managed to get a hold of this sap, then i probably chickened out.
in all honesty, no words can describe how much you mean to me. but for you, i’ll try to muster up all the right ones.
y/n, you’ve given me a new meaning to my existence and i couldn’t imagine a life without you in it. if anyone was going to ask me, i’d say that you and i were made to be together— forever, wherever that may be. you, and loving you was the most beautiful thing that ever happened to me. you have a very special place in my heart, and no one could ever replace that, be it in this lifetime, or any other lifetime.
so you moving out of the obx will never change the way i feel about you. we’ve been friends for too long and if this letter will somewhat be the reason why it’d be ruined, good thing you’re miles away from me haha :’)
— and if not, by any means, if you like me, too, then i’ll give you my word and promise that i’ll wait for you. no matter how long that may be, i’ll wait for you.
love,
rafael.
P.S. the writing classes dad (forcefully) made me join finally came in handy ;)
you let out a watery chuckle, no matter how many times you’ve read it, the words of rafe cameron always got to you.
you sighed, delicately putting everything back in the box as you leaned against the side of your bed. you looked up at your ceiling, which adorned a few glow-in-the-dark stars that he also gave you.
you wonder how he’s doing.
it was just another evening for the cameron family, but instead of having dinner at home where their personal chefs could cook something up for them in at least an hour or two, ward made them dress up for the dinner reservation he made at the new fancy brasserie.
and they were gracious enough to invite you along.
when rafe came to pick you up, the both of you burst out laughing at the sight of your coincidentally matching attires. once the laughter died down, he offered you a stem of rose he plucked out of, well, rose’s garden on the way out.
rafe took a separate car from his family, opting out as soon as he was given the opportunity. he’d rather scream the lyrics of a trashy pop song with you than sit in silence with his family in the limousine.
the trip to the brasserie was fun and short-lived, and the both of you had to switch characters from young and blithe to mature and professional in a matter of seconds. and what bothers you the most is that it’s his family.
no one should be feeling tense and antsy around their family.
but you’ve been welcomed to their family long before rose even entered the picture, and you knew how ward cameron was. he cared more about their money and reputation on this small island than being good to their own child-- unless you’re sarah.
when the both of you arrived, the waiter led you to where they already were. an unamused expression on his father’s face as he saw you both arrive a little bit later than they did.
“now that they’re finally here, can we please get those menus?” ward asked the waiter, who awkwardly distributed the laminated folders and backed away to list your orders.
you ordered the meal you deemed adequate for yourself and waited as the others cited theirs.
“uhh, can i have the smoked chicken quesadillas with the side dish of shrimp scampi?” rafe stated, looking up from the menu.
“oh, can i have what he’s having, too, please?” sarah smiled, placing the menu down.
the waiter pursed his lips, before speaking up, “i’m sorry, but i’m afraid only one of you could have it, unless all of you are willing to wait another hour for the quesadillas?”
ward sighed and turned to look at his son, a stern look on his face. “rafe, how about you be the best brother there is and let your sister have it?”
rafe scowled but nodded nevertheless as he muttered under his breath, “always sarah, it’s always sarah.”
you placed a comforting hand on his knee as you frowned at the older man a few seats across from you. “your dad’s being stupid, you can just share with me.”
“shut up, y/n.” he gritted his teeth, moving his leg away from you to withdraw the hand you placed on his knee. “don’t talk about him like that.”
you opened your mouth to say something but decided against it as you took notice of his clenched fists and hard expression.
the rest of dinner was tense as rose tried to keep the atmosphere light, but she should’ve known better not to try. rafe’s mood only worsened as soon as ward talked about business and sarah’s choices for her future.
his hand kept fidgeting, and you slowly placed yours on top of him. he tipped his head to look at you, and you offered him a small smile as you finished your food with your hand intertwined with his.
when rafe dropped you back at your house, he pulled you into a hug and apologized.
“i’m sorry for snapping at you, y/n/n,” he sighed, resting his chin on top of your head. “you know how i feel about my dad. he’s not the best dad out there, but he’s still my dad…”
“yeah, i understand.” your words were slightly muffled into his dress shirt.
rafe doesn’t know where he’d be without you. he felt as though he was slowly starting to lose himself under the pressure of his father and always wanting to be worthy of his attention. despite having everything, it’s still not as much as what his sister gets.
and he’s not talking about the money, but it’s about the love and support that his father constantly showers her with.
you slowly walked down the stairs as you gripped the newly folded parchment in your hand.
you approached your mom and watched as she hastily penned something you couldn’t quite fathom. “hey mom?”
“can i have one?” you asked as you pulled an envelope out of its packet.
“yes, sure,” she murmured, doing a once-over at her work before turning to you. “do you want me to bring that to the post office, too?”
you nodded, writing down the important details on top of the envelope before passing it to her. “thanks, mom.”
rafe cameron
#68 vespucci st., tannyhill, obx. north carolina.
butterfly mailbox.
to rafe,
hey, long time no talk.
i just came across the shoebox filled with the things we kept back in the obx -- brought me too much feels. i don’t know if you’ll write back, but i do hope so. i missed you so much, i have so many things to tell you.
i don’t know if i’ll see you again someday, but if you’re out there, i hope that you’re okay!
all the love,
y/n.
rafe didn’t know what else to do. it was a nice afternoon out, but he wasn’t in the mood to spend his time outside so he declined the plans that he had with topper and kelce.
everything was the same every day, anyway.
he sighed, walking towards the balcony to breathe in some fresh air, having been cooped up in his room for hours now. he watched as kids raced on their new shiny bikes across the street, their laughter filling in his ears.
rafe furrowed his eyebrows as he eyed the mailman approaching the mailbox that he hadn’t touched in months. his confusion grew as the mailman shook his head with the same confusion.
he sauntered down the stairs, earning a cheer from wheezie, who was residing on the couch. he ignored her and went straight outside.
rafe didn’t know if he even wanted to open it.
the mailbox that he stood in front of was assembled by you and him when you were both sixteen. the mellow white box that adorned the painted butterfly wings and both your initials were slowly fading from age.
he slowly pulled on the mantle, his face falling at the sight of what was contained inside. he grabbed every single letter that was sealed and delivered but never read.
rafe went back into his house as he shuffled through each envelope, a soft smile gracing his lips despite the heavy feeling in his heart.
06/08/20
to rafey,
guess you did like me after all, you sap! and don’t worry, i like you, too.
life in new york is… new haha but seriously, it’s a big change, and i’m still trying to get used to everything. it’s weird not having you around, i miss you too much. didn’t think i’d miss you pissing me off every second of the day, but well, here i am.
take care of yourself for me, won’t you? and be nice to your sisters, you’re still their brother at the end of the day, and believe me or not, they love you just as much as i do.
hope you’re not missing me too much!
xx y/n
06/09/20
to rafael,
mom said i had to attend pre-college next week! can you believe that? i mean, it’s just like a seminar and how life in uni is but like- :/
anyway, i don’t know if you’re getting my letters, but it’s only been a day since the last one so i’m not that worried.
i miss you! please write back <3
- y/n
06/15/20
rafe!
hey there, kook. you know, i can’t believe we’re caring too much about the whole kook v. pogue fiasco back at home. there’s a whole new world beyond the obx, and it amazes me that no one really cares about whatever’s going on with other people’s lives.
i’m going to attend the seminar tomorrow, wish me luck aaaa
hope you aren’t getting into trouble, rafael.
write back soon!
y/n
06/21/20
hey rafe,
it’s been at least a few days since the last letter, sorry for not writing.
i don’t even know if you’re getting this, or if it got lost in the post, but i need you to write back, please.
i haven’t been feeling my best these past few days, it’s so hard making friends here at uni. i kinda miss having you by my side, my personal guard dog haha
missing you as always,
y/n
06/22/20
rafe!!
i made a new friend! her name’s ves. well, not really, but she told me to call her that. she’s cool-- chaotic. somewhat like me haha i think you’ll get along with her.
i hope you’re doing well <3
xoxo, y/n.
P.S. did you see the envelope? i drew a wolf in class ‘cause i remembered you. still can’t believe that your name means wolf, now stupid, little me can’t help but remember you whenever someone mentions a wolf.
06/24/20
rafeyy
our professor assigned us our first project and i honestly can’t wait to start it.
have you been receiving these letters or are you keeping them to yourself? i think you forget that you have to write back, too.
y/n <3
06/30/20
rafael cameron,
i have so much to tell you! so today the bell rang (well, duh) which means my eng lit class was over and i was packing my things up, right? and then the professor called me and said that i should stay back for a while because she wanted to talk to me. so i agreed, of course, and i was so fucking nervous. i tried to think of something that i did that could possibly upset her, and i couldn’t think of anything as the class walked out for their next class.
and when she finally called me, you wouldn’t believe what she just asked me!! she offered me an internship at this company her husband worked for. she told me that she loves my written works and how i had a way with my words, so she showed it to her husband, who showed his boss and i guess you’re talking to an intern at adornia now!! omg
sorry i realized that i rambled, but i was just so excited to tell you!
write back, rafael, i need to know what’s going on in that kooky life of yours.
lotsa love,
y/n :)<3
P.S. i just realized how many letters i’ve written to you, there’s at least 6/20 envelopes left.
07/23/20
hi rafe,
haven’t written to you in a while, but to be fair, you haven’t written back either.
how are you? your sisters? i also miss them.
a month into uni and i’m… hanging in there. i feel homesick every day.
lots of love,
y/n.
07/28/20
i miss you, i still like you.
08/06/20
write back, please.
rafe let out a shaky breath as he held the most recent and last one in his hands. it was different from the rest. it lacked the usual goofy doodles and colorful fine liners. it was just… plain and sophisticated.
he took his time reading it, taking in your handwriting and the slight smudges on the paper. he let out a heavy sigh as he finished it, looking through the envelope to see one of the few polaroids you sent him.
you were balanced on his shoulders, his hands gripping on your thighs as you had a hold on his hair. the both of you had goofy smiles on your faces, a cowboy hat on top of your head. yeehaw, cowboy! was sloppily written at the bottom, no doubt his handwriting.
rafe stared at the letters for a few more seconds, a few of them were wet, and he had a hard time deciphering the words written on them.
truthfully, he never expected you to write to him. the only reason he had the mailbox was because you pretended to be pen pals when you were younger, even though your houses were not less than a five minute walk away.
he’s given you his number with the usernames of his socials, and he kept guard of his phone ever since, expecting you to pop up in his notifs with a text or a reaction to the farewell letter he gave you.
but it never came.
and it took him months to accept that you wouldn’t give him a call or text.
rafe realized that you must’ve been feeling the same disappointment and chagrin as he did when he never wrote back to you, and he felt bad for never checking the mailbox.
he laid in his bed wondering how you’ve been doing the past few months you’ve lost touch. sure, he got the smallest glimpse through your letters, but he knew you, and he knew that there was something much bigger than what you’ve chosen to share.
he’s wondering if you knew how proud he is of you, not just your accomplishments, but you. he’s so proud of the person you’ve become.
but why would he spend time wondering about everything and anything when he can just find out for himself?
friday game nights with you was rafe’s favorite night.
he brought out the classic monopoly from the board room and plopped down next to you on the living room’s carpeted floor.
as rafe arranged the pieces by its respectable places, you leaned back on your arms and took in the familiar surroundings of his home.
your eyes settled at the childish drawing on top of the fireplace’s mantelpiece. an amused smile grew on your lips, which your best friend immediately took notice of.
“what are you smiling at, you idiot?” he asked as he looked at you oddly. the piece in his hand hovering over the board.
you lifted a finger up to show him what you were staring at. “who drew that?”
rafe rolled his eyes, going back to fixing the game as the frown on his lips deepened. “sarah.”
you hummed, eyebrows slightly furrowed as you wondered, “where’s yours?”
“what?”
“your drawings.” you shrugged, finally helping him with the last few parts. “i doubt you don’t have any.”
he sighed, running a hand through his hair as he let you finish it up. “i dunno, probably hidden under sarah’s. always been.”
you stood up from the floor and walked towards the frames, grabbing each of them that contained sarah’s drawings.
rafe had a panicked look on his face as he watched you grab them from its place. “what are you doing?”
you ignored him and sat back on your original place, unlatching the locks from behind the frame.
and surely enough, there were drawings hidden. every art work of rafe’s had been signed by younger him with a sloppy signature, and it brought a huge smile on your face. “i’ll keep them.”
“what?” rafe asked in disbelief, staring at you as you delicately placed his drawings in a pile for you to keep.
“i’ll keep them.” you repeated, putting back the frames where you found them, and returned beside him. “are we gonna start this game, or what?”
at that very moment, rafe was sure of one thing: he liked you.
wheezie watched in amusement as her brother started to rummage through every cabinet and drawer for something. he even looked under the couch’s cushions, dumbly enough.
“do you… need anything?” she finally asked, arms crossed as she looked at her brother for an explanation as to why he’s close to wrecking the whole house just to find whatever he was looking for.
“yeah,” he nodded. “envelopes, you got any?”
“jeez, is your ego really that big that you couldn’t have asked me that in the first place?” she muttered, her face scrunching up at the sight of her brother’s bored expression. “yes, it’s in my room.”
as soon as rafe was handed the packet of envelopes, he unwittingly planted a sloppy kiss on his sister’s cheek, which made the both of them freeze.
“don’t tell anyone i did that or i’ll wipe your whole face off.” rafe threatened, shooting her a menacing glare before rushing back to his room.
“it’s not like i’d ever tell anyone about that.” wheezie shuddered, wiping the slobber off her cheek.
rafe drove down to the post office with the sealed letter stuck to his hand. his mind filled with the thoughts of you and the letters that he didn’t even realize that he arrived until he parked the car.
before he could enter the small building, his eye caught the sight of a flower shop across the street, making him pause and draw a decision to enter it.
so back in the post office, instead of just a letter that was long overdue, rafe also had a bouquet of your favorite flowers.
“hi, i’d like to get this rush-delivered to this address,” he said politely as he slid the card with your address across the counter. “preferably now so the flowers will still be fresh.”
the clerk he was talking to frowned at his request, “i’m sorry, mr. cameron, but i’m afraid we wouldn’t be able to get this delivered to new york as you wished. our trucks are filled to the brim until tomorrow.”
rafe blew out a low whistle and grabbed the wallet from his pocket. he pulled out three hundred dollars and discreetly slid it towards him. “take this, and have it delivered today.”
his frown only deepened and declined the offer. “it’s all honest work here, mr. cameron, i’m sorry, but you’d have to wait until tomorrow.”
“fine, i’ll take matters into my own hands, then,” he huffed in annoyance and shoved the money back into his pocket. he grabbed the flowers and the letter from where it stood
y/n l/n
atlantic ave., 115th st., new york, new york.
hey y/n,
i’m surprised you still have that shoebox, but i’m glad you still have it. at least you have something to remember us by.
i’m sorry for not writing back y/n/n — am i still allowed to call you that? — i never expected you to write me letters. i knew i gave you a paper with my contacts, if i remembered correctly, so i kinda expected to hear from you through the phone. guess not.
we lost touch, i know, but i just gotta say that i miss you, and i hope that you’re okay.
yours, and only yours,
rafael.
ever since you sent the letter yesterday, you couldn’t help but peek through the window every other hour— just in case he finally decided to write back. although you knew that the chances were low.
your mom was out for work, which left you to fend for yourself for the time being. you’ve done your assignments early, so that means you’ve got the rest of the day slumming around.
you already had your netflix on when the doorbell rang. you grabbed your purse on the island counter and pulled out the money you needed to pay your take-outs.
as soon as you swung the door open, you nearly dropped the money you were holding. though despite your initial shock, you were able to mutter, “you’re not the pizza guy.”
rafe laughed, and oh, how you missed the sound of that. you immediately leaped into his arms for a hug. the sweet smell of his cologne filling your senses.
“you better not be greeting the pizza guy like this, y/n/n,” he teased, pulling you in closer to reciprocate the tight hug.
“what the fuck are you doing here?” you asked as you pulled away from him, slapping a hand over his arm.
“ow,” he mumbled, rubbing the area to ease the pain. “came to see your mom, duh.”
you rolled your eyes in annoyance, but the growing smile on your lips said otherwise.
“these are for you.” rafe handed you the bouquet of your favorite flowers, they were slightly wilted, due to the travel, you assumed. but they were still beautiful nevertheless.
“thank you, rafe,” you smiled at him, pulling him into your house. you momentarily disappeared into the kitchen to find a vase as he rolled his suitcase into your home.
“why didn’t you ever call me?” he asked as soon as you entered the living room.
“why didn’t you ever write back?” you playfully shot back, though you both know that you were still hurt from his sudden ignorance.
“i didn’t think you���d write to me, honestly.” he admitted, rubbing his hand at the back of his neck, and that’s when you finally took in his appearance. his usual slicked back hair lacked the gel, which made his hair look tousled and soft, and the polo shirt and khaki shorts combination were replaced with a comfortable hoodie and sweatpants.
“well, i did.” you shrugged, sitting back on your spot on the couch. “i lost the paper you gave me, i told you that in one of the letters, if you ever bothered to read them.”
“to be fair, we haven’t used that mailbox a few months before you even left, and phones exist for a reason,” rafe sassed, flopping down next to you. “i only found out about the letters yesterday after i saw the mailman drop a letter in it.”
you hummed, unsure of what to say next. you just let the comfortable silence take over the both of you as you basked each other in.
“do you still like me?” he finally asked after a few more minutes.
you risked a glance at him to see that he was already looking at you. you bit your lip in hesitation, but you didn’t know why you were hesitating. you knew the answer to his question. “yeah.”
“do you still want to go out on a date with me?”
“yeah,” you nodded your head as you grinned at him. “you still have any questions to ask?”
“nah,” he grinned back as he pulled you in to wrap his arms around you. “just that i love you, and i’m glad that you’re okay.”
he tilted his head down a bit as he glanced at your lips, you took the hint and slowly leaned in as he did. although before your lips could even touch, the doorbell rang, and you leaped away from him.
“oh, i think that’s the pizza!”
“y/n!”
“sorry!” you laughed, you paid for the pizza and shut the door. you walked back to where a pouting rafe was sitting and lowered the box on top of the coffee table.
“fuckin’ pizza guy’s a cock block.” he muttered, as he tugged on your arm and brought you to his chest. he cupped your jaw with his hand and slowly brought his lips to yours.
the kiss was soft and sweet, and everything about it screamed perfect. everything was finally coming together after years too long of pining and slowburn.
when you pulled away, rafe leaned in again to catch your lips into another short kiss. “okay, how about that pizza now?
“hell yeah.”
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general taglist: @tatesimper @bluvclouds @i-love-scott-mccall @miraclesoflove
sour collection: @ifilwtmfc @dumbasscorn
obx taglist: @maybanksslut @angelixcpixies @oldschoolkiddo @iwritesiriusly @natashxromanovfreads @nyxie75 @stylesyourmine @gabiatthedisco @taylathornton @bury-my-love-inthe-moondust @queen-asteria04 @aliyahsomerhalder @wolfstar-lb @mrs-cameron @golden-hoax
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flameboyace · 3 years ago
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hey! can i request straw hats with a teen reader? reader gets pretty close with robin?
if you dont like these type of requests, please dont hesitate in deleting
Hey hey sorry if this took me a lot of time to write, I had no motivation to write at all and did just what I had to, but here I am finally.
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□ they took you in as one of them without esitating
□ even if you're a teen and are supposed to have a lot of energies, you spend more time with Robin, mostly reading or studying what she is interested in
□ the two of you started talking when you asked to her one time what she was reading, since then you keep asking for books or just asking question when you're curious about something
□ they're not more older than you, but everyone of them treat you almost as a kid, in a good way tho
□ every single one of them pamper you, from food to training, they help you at their very best and always also you what you need
□ if you need to slit up in some town you and Robin are almost likey together, not that you didn't want to go with the others, but robin just always looked at you almost asking if you were ready
□ living with them is definitely something out of this world but they love you and they always make sure to let you know
□ always ready to protect you no matter what
□ they all have nicknames for you and don't care if you like them or not tbh
□ free hugs 24/7, you can't escape them
_____________________________
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anime-grimmy-art · 2 years ago
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your post featuring the funny train men, is great
i love it lots and im telling you here rather than the tags because the tumblr app HATES that post
to many gifs maybe?
either way tumbr dont likey and each time i try and reblog and add any tags it crashes
i can fast reblog and like
but i cant view the images individually without tumbr crashing or add anytags or commentary to the post
i could view it via my computer but thats effort
so without further ado
YOU DID AN AMAZING JOB AND I REALLY LOVE THE POST U MADE IT IS VERY POGGERS
Hey, thanks for the info! This actually probably proves sth Ive been noticing, and that is tumblr not putting posts into the tags at ALL. And that's mostly with video and gif posts.
But yeah, maybe I should have scaled them down, I made the gifs on a whim and kinda didnt think that the canvas size was still rly BIG.
But again, thanks for the heads up, for other gif set posts Imma try to make em less and smaller as not to kill someone's app! XD
AND GLAD U LIKE MY SHITTY HUMOUR
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Can we please talk about how Carlos is the most beautiful and supportive partner to Tk? Like he doesn’t drink because he wants to support his sobriety, he cooks amazing meals for him, he will literally stop what his doing if Tk doesn’t feel good and he is all about communication. That whole episode with Cooper just solidified for me just how amazing Carlos is. The fact he stopped doing his Yoga because Tk felt restless and focused all his attention on him. THEN even though he was a bit jealous that Tk was going to Cooper instead of him, he put it all aside because he knew that’s what Tk needed. Not to mention him moving them into a beautiful home, making it comfortable for both of them because it was something Tk was so apprehensive about.
I mean are you fucking serious? Could he get anymore sexy? I think that’s one of Carlos’ most attractive qualities, how much he cares for the people he loves. He’s got this authoritative cop vibe but when it comes to Tk he is just sooooo soft 🥺
Me likey, a lot.
(*side note: they need to do the ‘hey baby’ thing more because…..yes)
^^^^
I don’t know what more can I add to this because it’s perfect and you’re right, Carlos Reyes is perfect.
Carlos’s character arc is so beautiful and important to me like they show this guy who seems like he is very composed and has all his shit together. But then there’s 2.04 and 2.08 and you see that’s actually not true. He’s a very complex character with his own issues and traumas. He’s a control freak and he doesn’t do well with situations where he can’t help which we dan see again and again in S3.
I didn’t think I would love the breakup storyline initially but I did. I think the reasons were very realistic. Carlos is a control freak and TK is somebody who runs away when shit gets tough. They specifically addressed that thing this season which I think was great.
3x13 is actually my favorite epsiode bevause it showed a healthy portrayal of a relationship. TK stated that Carlos can’t be his everything and while Carlos had difficulty accepting it initially- he did realise that TK was righr by the end which is a great character developmenr.
P.S. food and touch beinf his love language is my favorite thing and yes they need to do the “hey baby” thing more. It’s never enough ekwhwkwkwn)
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merakiui · 3 years ago
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Hey Mera! I just saw Milk Crown anon's twst concept and it kinda reminded me of the pixar theory, idk if ur familiar w it but basically it's how all the pixar movies connect and that movies like cars and monsters inc (movies w/out humans) take place in the distant future where humans no longer exist. (it's acc quite interesting i recommend checking it out if u haven't already).
(This is such an oc type of theory and most likey vry untru but I want to share it w u so ehe), kinda like what Milk Crown anon said, but what if MC acc came from the past (which would be our present time) and that twst is set far into the future. During MC's time, scientists discovered (or created, but in supernatural ways bc I like to believe that magic has always existed) a powerful substance that holds powers similar to the magic in fairy tales. At first the substance didn't serve as any threat and was experimented on, but it did radiate vry low and harmless energy that covered a wide radius (coming back to that ltr). However, over time the substance became dangerous and they weren't able to contain it anymore, and resulted in a giant explosion that affected everyone on the planet. It wiped out most living things on the planet and caused a lot of land forms to deteriorate, w many cities breaking from land and sinking into the ocean (cough twst ocean cities cough); we haven't seen twst full map of the world but from what's shown so far, a lot of them look like islands so hmmmm. The damage caused civilization to reset to the beginning (oh what if the explosion cased ppl to forget everything about human civilization and brought them back to primitive times). Most ppl that were near the explosion and w/in the "deadly" radius (like a nuclear explosion) died, however those that survived developed physical mutations that resembles that of fairies (wink wink) and the ability to control the substance, which would ltr be known as magic. Basically for those that survived, the closest ppl became what would be known as fae w the most magical energy (radiation lol), and from there it varied. Ppl that were farther away would develop magical abilities too, albeit not as strong in comparison to the former, with some developing physical mutations (ie. animal features), and other's retaining their human biology but still possessing magic. Ofc there were also some ppl who were immune to the explosions effects and remained magic-less humans. Same thing w animals and plant life w some staying the same and some becoming magic-like. (Idk but blot could be a side effect for using magic bc of it's overall deadly effects it had on the planet and that no one's biology is compatible enough w the magic so it festers in blot(?)
So what if , while the magic was being contained, MC was w/in the radius of the harmless range and absorbed some of the low energy, but didn't exhibit any side effects from it. However, when the explosion occured MC was put into a preservation pod, which would ltr be what we know as the black coffin from the beginning of the game, which protected them from the explosion and preserved their body for years. When they wake up in twst they are surrounded by a new world flowing w magical energy, which triggers the energy they previously absorbed to manifest into their ability to see those visions in their dreams.
Also as someone that was part if the fandom when the game first came out, then kinda left (bc of gneshin like most lol), but is coming back bc eeeee they're finally updating again! I rly do love this game, I remember interacting w other's in the fandom about theories, characters, events and stories ahhh such good times.
:O that’s a really neat theory!! Thank you for sharing it with me!
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toukenramblings · 3 years ago
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Clingy S/O | Genji Bros
After 50 years, I'm writing again. I'm so sorry for not being able to write for a while y'all. I've been...blergh. ANON WHO REQUESTED THIS, IM SO SORRY FOR THE WAIT HGIUDHGUGHU
Warning: Nothing but cute shit, and sometimes man, you need soft cute shit. LEAH, BABY, DARLING I HOPE YOU LIKEY!! @10cm i know you love hiza, pls take some hiza hiza
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Higekiri
BOUNDARIES? WHAT'S THAT???? HIGEKIRI KNOWS NOTHING LIKE THAT. I joke though, Higekiri is like, a naturally physically affectionate person. Yes he'll cater his affection to your habits and ways and habits but in general, Higekiri is also...pretty....clingy
And you just so happen to ALSO be clingy as fuck? Hell yeah. Hige's gonna have a FIELD DAY. Along with saying shit like; "Aww, did you miss me that much, love? I missed you too~!" or "You just hugged me two minutes ago, no matter, I love it either way!"
Higekiri is also about surprise affection, most of the time he'll sneak up on you with a darling hug from behind and press a kiss to the back of your head/hair.
He loves it when you do the same to him! He doesn't jump or anything, he just...meLTS into your embrace? Hello???? It's oh so comfortable!
Oh and playing with your fingers whenever you two cuddle, admiring the differences between yours and his; comparing sizes, so on and so forth.
Listen Higekiri is the kind of clingy that the minute you come home he's already waiting for you at the door like a cat/puppy that you see in youtube vids. Or like he just zones in on the gate like he knows that you're about to appear. It's like...a psychic sense.
Oh but most of all, Hige Hige loves the fact you're clingy as shit. As said above, Hige is the same. If anything, you two just bounce off of each other's general lovey-dovey clinginess.
Hugs? Check? Cuddles? Check. Hand holding? My friend, your hand will never be lonely. ALL THE KISSES? NOTHING BUT KISSES YOU TWO ARE JUST KISSING IN PUBLIC LIKE NO ONE'S BIZ
Higekiri is also the cheeky little bastard who's just...holding your hand one sec and then using the said hand to pull you in close for a hug and a kiss and then when you two part he's just smirking.
"I just missed you, that's all~<3" bastard
Hizamaru
Hiza on the other hand, isn't as clingy as his brother who lives off of physical affection. Oh no, he adores it too! He just goes at his own pace. Yes even after you two begin dating for a long time, there is this little dreamy look in his eyes and faint tinge to his cheeks whenever you two do PDA
It's not like he dislike it or anything. He has nothing but respect for boundaries and such. He doesn't wanna do shit to make you uncomfy but he also is the kind of person who caters his physical affection to how you are!
Hizamaru isn't as spontaneous as his brother when it comes to this, so it'll take time before he'll fully like....falls into the routine I suppose?
It's totally fine that you're clingy as heck though! He loves it! He's lowkey clingy as well, and as your relationship further progresses, Hiza's hand will always seek out yours.
Yes he does get all flustered whenever you surprise him with a hug from behind, stiffening just a bit before melting into your embrace like it's the most natural thing in the world.
Like Higekiri, Hizamaru will also happily wait for you to come home. He's a lot more attentive than his brother and honestly gives me some adorbs house!husband vibes but hey that is another story and while Higekiri bounds to your side the minute he senses your presence, Hizamaru is honestly kind of the same? Is a bit more timid though as he walks towards you, not at all rushing to your side like his brother but a languid roll of his hips and a bright smile - puppy like, you can say.
Oh my God man, the hugs. The hugs he gives you? So fucking warm???? Hello???? My sweet darling Hiza. Going back to what I said before, Hizamaru is lowkey pretty clingy and he doesn't realize this until after you two start dating. But instead of the physical clinginess that Hige has, Hiza's is more...verbally clingy? He's the kind of dude who just calls you while you're away just to listen to your voice and tell you that he loves you.
Daily reminders of the fact that he loves you, can't forget that.
Private cuddling though? That's when clingy Hiza Hiza shows up. He just...always has an arm wrapped around your waist or something and whenever you hug him from behind and wrap your hands and arms around his waist, Hiza will begin a habit of playing with your connected fingers; he, too, fascinated by your fingers.
Though Hizamaru may be shy about PDA with a rather clingy you, but in the end, Hizamaru adores it! He just melts into your embrace and touches like the most touch-starved man known to this world and honestly? It's cute as hell. You're his rock after all~!
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zutaraplatter · 4 years ago
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Avatar: The Last Airbender Critique
There are already a million of posts like this one, and I might be saying things that’ve already been said a million times but I’ve recently become reheated about the ATLA ending and wanted to let it out -_- No one asked, this is true, and this may or may not be a way to stall from this final project I still have to complete, but here’s 10 things I didn't like and/or would change about the show that likely shouldn’t need changing because they should have been done in the first place.
1. Katara should have apologized to Sokka after TSR
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It should have happened and it didn't. In my canon-avoiding mind, Katara and Sokka have a heartfelt conversation where she apologizes for the awful things she said, Sokka says he forgives her and he's sorry if he wasn't as there for her as much as he should have been, which he follows up with "but I'm happy you listened to Aang and took his advice," leading into my next point
2. Katara should have said that not killing Yon Rha was her choice
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And thats why it was the right one. Not because Aang already said it was wrong. No no. It was the right choice because that's what she chose. I love my mom to death and can't imagine losing her in any way, let alone the way Katara did. And I can't say for sure that if I was in her shoes that I know what I would have done f that yes I do I would have killed that motherfucker. But I also know that if Katara decided not to kill him, then that was one of two correct choices because they were Katara's choices to make. Not Aang's or anyone else's and this should have been clarified. I know it's a kids show but I said what I said. Next point.
3. Katara should have said more after telling Aang she was unsure at the Ember Island Players
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Katara hasn't had any trouble saying how she feels, especially when it comes to helping others and making them feel better, whether she was right or wrong. But she holds back or overly softens blows and seems to even shrivel up at times when it comes to Aang. And me no likey. I had a boyfriend who I adored and admired and just genuinely looked up to. I'm also a shy and anxious person who hates confrontation, but because I loved him, I never refrained from telling him when he was wrong. I might have been a little shaky about it but I did it tho because when you want to be with someone you walk through the grass and stomp through the mud. And I personally feel like either in that moment or later on in an added scene that Katara should have voiced to Aang how unheard and disrespected she felt about his words before TSR and his actions on the balcony. I hate being uncomfortable and my secondhand embarrassment is toxic but I would love to see a scene of this. I always imagined Katara saying stuff like "But I'm not you Aang, and I'm not an Air Nomad," or "Zuko could understand why I needed to go, and I'd hoped you would too," or...I'm out of ideas but you get the idea. And you know what, I know I'm a hard Zutara shipper, but them having this conversation would honestly make me respect their relationship a whole lot more should it be believably written to end on a good note (I don't see how it could be but hey I'm an open minded person and I did think they were cute together once upon a time). Basically, all I'm saying is that Katara is no small voice and she should have been written that way when with Aang. Boyfriends can make you shy but should never make you weak. Period. Next point.
4. No rock! ONLY GROWTH!!!!!!!!!!!
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I still squint my eyes whenever I remember that rock that unblocked Aang's chakra. What even was that? The laziest writing possible in my opinion. That's what. And Aang deserved better. What should have happened should have been that Aang started to lose to Ozai. And then as Ozai's about to deliver the finishing blow, Aang has flashbacks of everyone he's trying to save and honor, ending with a very prominent flashback of Katara with the guru's disembodied voice reminding Aang to let go of his attachments to become all he needs to be...then BOOM! Baby boy is back on his feet, chakra unblocked, he kicks Ozai's ass, I'm crying hysterically on the floor, as are the rest of us, and he wins. Then at the end of the series, instead of a kiss, he gives Katara an apology. She accepts, everyone else comes to join them on the balcony, cinematic group hug, camera pan into the sun. I don't know lol. Basically what I'm saying is that Aang did not deserve some deus ex machina. He deserved to grow and become his best self like everyone else got to.
5. Aang should have heard differently in The Storm
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Katara is a very fate-minded person and this is when I saw potential for her to become a toxic character in regards to Aang. When he admits that he ran away from home 100 years ago, Katara tells him that that was basically a good thing because he was meant to be here and now. Like...no? What Aang did, though understandable for someone so young, was still wrong. Yes he would have maybe been killed but I'm like 10000000% sure they had a plan to protect and evacuate the literal avatar. And what was technically "meant to be" was a new avatar. But hey, what's done is done and kicking Aang while he's down is a no-no in this household. But that doesn't change the fact that Aang needed and deserved honesty. Maybe the fisherman could have said this, I don't know, but I feel like Aang should have been told by someone that although running away was wrong, it's a blessing he and Appa were able to survive and be able to help save the world now with his amazing friends found-family. Maybe this is too harsh, and maybe even outright wrong, but I felt like Aang deserved a truer answer here to support and comfort him.
6. MAILEE!!!!
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Do I even need to go into detail?
7. Spiritual sigh*
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Don't make me go into detail -_- I will say though that although Aang and Katara are both amazing individuals capable of earth shattering things, they were not a healthy fit for one another. This is evident in the original series and especially in their children from LOK. They both deserved the best but better than one another.
8. ZUTARAAAAAAA
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This is a Zutara blog you KNEW this was coming, as it should. There's just too much. There's too damn much. I would give a real paragraph to this too, but, I mean, there's already so much proving that this was the pair. Fics, metas, rants, this site. Scroll through my blog or any of the ATLA related blogs I follow and...dude. These two were meant to be together and I'll mourn the narrative brilliance WASTED for no good reason every day for the rest of my life. No reason these two shouldn't be married with three kids. sob. I will take this part to say thank you to the amazing fic writers that gave Katara, Zuko, Mai, and Aang what they deserved that the writers didn't have the guts to give them themselves. Next point tho.
9. AANG AND ONJI
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Good God almighty. Why not this? WHY NOT THIS? I'm putting on my bullet proof vest and I'm going to say this; Aanji is cuter than Zutara. Now before you scorn me or whatever, let me explain. Zutara for me is like steak. No. Chicken parmesan. I like chicken parmesan better. The point though is that Zutara is savory. You know? I don't see them as cute, I see them as Obviously. Aanji on the other hand is like a bag of my favorite candy. They are like a brownie. A cookie. Girl Scout Samoas!...I don't know what words are anymore. This post got way out of hand. I guess what I'm saying is that for Zutara, I scream, but for Aanji, I squeal. I hope that makes sense. But here's the main point I want to make. Onji never knew who Aang really was. And Aang was always, at his core, himself. She very obviously had a crush on Aang for his personality and that was crazy cute and frankly preferable to Katara's "I...guess he is." (you know exactly what I'm talking about) Anyway, I kept wanting more of them together. I wish all the time that we'd gotten to see her again, with a more fleshed out character and all. And in the way that I imagine the show should have gone, she could have been the perfect love interest for Aang, during this episode or way later, even in the comics! Another WASTED opportunity for greatness and I will, again, never recover T-T
10. Iroh get your ass back here
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Maybe this is a misguided critique but I hated that Iroh just left Zuko alone in the fire nation at the end of the series. Baby was in trouble in every sense of the word and Iroh was just like "See ya! You got this nephew." I'm expected to believe that? I'm expected to accept that? No no no. He should have at least stayed for a few years to help Zuko stay upright and, you know, alive. And by "upright" I don't mean "good." I just mean been there to support him because Lord knows he needed it, at least in the beginning of his reign. It was cute that Iroh was able to settle down with his own teashop after all those years of violence and mourning and running and this and that. I was more than happy for him for being able to have that peace finally. But I still think it could have waited a little while longer so he could support Zuko.
That's it I guess. I know not everything I've said makes the most sense in one way or another, but I enjoyed putting it together all the same. Thank you for reading and have a great day. I'll go finish my final now.
(Edited for a typo)
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Note
Nagito with an s/o who likes to listen to lofi hiphop?
Not gonna lie, had no idea what lofi hip hop was until now.
But!!
I’m listening to a livestream of the stuff rn, and me likey!
So if I get anything wrong about what it’s like, you can blame this stream.
But I really like the style and listen to it a lot now lol
Did this as Headcannons, all under the cut!
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When you introduced the style of music to him, Nagito instantly fell in love with it
It’s so soothing and calming and makes his eyes heavy instantly
He first encountered it when he was bringing you some lunch since you were busy at home studying for an exam
When he walked into your room he was greeted with calming music filling the air
You saw him and paused your music, waving
“Hey babe! Got the food?”
“Yes, my love. Can I ask what you were playing?”
“Oh! It’s called lofi hip hop. I like to listen to it when working because it doesn’t distract me and calms be down if I get stressed. Do you want to listen to it?”
He nods and sits in your bed with you, happily eating lunch together as you play the music again
He can’t help but fall asleep after he eats, the music is just so calming!
He feels bad, but you tell him it’s completely ok, you listen to it to help you sleep too
If he’s having a bad day with his luck or just a bad day in general, he’ll curl up in your arms on your bed and go “can you turn on the playlist?”
You already know what’s up
You grab your phone and press play on the lofi playlist you made just for him, kiss his head, and rock him to sleep
You fall asleep soon after, holding him in your arms as the gentle beats lull you into sweet dreams
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I know this was kinda short, but I also didn’t know where else to go with it. Hope you enjoyed nonetheless!
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Thank you for coming to my TED talk,
—🐝
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moonlit-imagines · 4 years ago
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Headcanons for being Best Friends with Lila Pitts
Lila Pitts x reader
warnings: tua 2 spoilers! guns, knives, violence
a/n: 💖💖
prompt: @cullens-stuff: “Can I request a HC of being bffs with Lila? Please and thank you! You have a Lovely day!”
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you were the child of a commission member
ironically, a commission member that the handler could. not. stand.
you and lila snuck around a whole lot during your childhood
but the handler always found out one way or another
i mean, you weren’t “special” like lila, but you were of use to the handler since you and lila got close
“i might as well train the both of you”
“really?! that would be amazing!”
“yes, it would. especially since it gives me an excuse to shoot you”
“you won’t regret this!”
“sweetie, i don’t regret anything”
you and lila just trying to be kids in such a tough environment
“wanna sneak out for a bit? try something new?”
“uhhh, depends? what year is it again?”
stealing candy from the handler’s desk
and anywhere else you may find candy
there was an abundance of candy at the commission, kinds from different time periods
training with lila was very stressful at first
“why dont you keep up, y/n?!”
“im trying! tell you mom that i don’t want a bullet in my leg!”
“if i do, she’ll aim higher!”
laying in the grass and taking a breather
occasionally the handler permits a sleepover
but only at her house and most of it is off-limits
better than nothing?
you have access to any and all programs and movies ever created
“pick a year, any year”
“uhhh, nineteen-seventy......five!”
“how do you feel about wonder woman?”
“count me in!”
lila wasn’t allowed to have popcorn
dont ask me why i just feel like she wasn’t allowed
tbh she probably wasn’t allowed to have candy either, that’s why you guys constantly snatched it up
you went on missions before her because you were “disposable”
lila got very jealous
“i just don’t understand why my mum would clear you for missions, but wont let her own daughter do an ounce of work!”
“i mean...she’s pretty protective of you. really sorry, lila, wish you could come along”
“no, it’s alright. i’m not mad at you, just be careful”
“psh, what am i, an amateur?”
her wanting to know every detail of your missions when you get back
“did you stab anyone? shoot? punch? maim? tell me all of it, please!”
and you always did, and she was always at the edge of her seat for it
she really did wish that she were there, too, though
“god, i wish my mum would trust me to go on a real mission someday, it’s not fair that you get to see all the action”
“give it time, lila, she’ll come around”
lila and you were together when you found out that the handler had been shot in the head
“oh, god. what am i going to do without her?”
“hey, dont think like that”
suddenly finding out that a bullet to the head wasn’t enough to kill that crazy lady
visiting the handler in the hospital during her recovery
she wasn’t happy to see you
but its okay :,)
lila finally got a mission! well, sort of
it wasn’t an official commission objective, but it was given by the former handler
and you got to be in on it!
“when and where are we going?”
“dallas, texas. 1963”
“any idea why?”
being separated from lila
but visiting in the asylum for updates
you met with other hargreeves siblings
*searched for
they weren’t very available
luther was working for a...dangerous man. no more dangerous than yourself, really. you could end him in a swift second.
diego was lila’s mark
allison was working in a hair salon, you’d be on your way there soon enough
klaus was leading a fucking cult, it would be difficult to get close to him
five, still nowhere to be seen
ben...still dead
vanya was difficult to track down, but there were a few missing ads popping up in the papers that fit her description. check back later
lila calling you up later to let you know she was out of the asylum
the story at elliott’s: “lila, oh, my god! when did you finally get out, i was so worried about you! i was just about to go visit you again. this must be that ‘diego’ you were telling me about”
“oh—you, you told them about me?”
making buddy-buddy with diego for the operation
teasing lila about him cuz you could tell she was starting to like him
“be quiet, y/n! let’s keep things professional”
“yeah, right! tell that to yourself!”
scheming
the good ol’ scheme team
yeah
having to cover for each other pretty often
“five knows”
“what?! how?”
“mum told him”
“what?? is she trying to get us killed?”
situation is weird, me no likey
watching diego and her get ~closer~
“awe, you two are soooo cute”
“cut that out”
to diego: “if you hurt my best friend, she’ll kill you”
“oh, i don’t doubt it for a second”
after the handler got what she wanted (AJ the fish), the mission was just about done
the commission got all wacky and you were starting to get a lot more cautious
lila got promoted!!
“y/n, what would you think about a security job?”
“i dont know...i mean, i’m already an field operative”
“and a damn good one! what if i brought diego in to be on my security team?”
she fuckin did
“i dont know, lila, can we trust him?”
“of course we can trust him!”
lila saw the report on her parents
something felt off about the whole thing, though...lila said her parents were killed in an armed robbery, so why did the handler lie all these years? and why was the handler there to take lila in?
final battle-type thing
it was interesting, indeed
all the agents in the same place
something just didn’t feel right
you were, of course, shielded from the blast
and got to see lila’s powers up-close
five explained some things in between the fighting that started to make sense of the whole thing
“lila, maybe we should listen to him?”
“no! he killed my parents and i’m gonna kill him”
“yikes”
you ended up trying to pull her away from all this, but she knocked you away
you ended up watching diego try and help her, which was a bit heartwarming tbh
until the handler shot you all
(new timeline)
until the handler was shot and you were all saved
before you could even get to lila, she time-traveled away and you were left with the umbrella academy
you ended up going back with dot and herb to fix up the commission a bit
until next time, i guess
taglist: @alwaysananglophile // @cullens-stuff // lotsoffandomrecs // @takethebladeawayfromme //
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