#but im actually so scared of them being able to see my posts. to talk to me again

[purpurussy]

.

[s-ccaam-era-crepe]

obsessively checking accounts that follow me/like my posts for hints of it being them bc I’m #scared & paranoid

[nomairuins]

ill be like I can totally make a lighthearted post mentioning a kink i have and i wont even freak abt it. and then i freak abt it

[arolesbianism]

Hi gamers guess who's thinking abt unit swap stuff again. Shiho and Saki discussing who would be best fit to play the cast in their musicals knowing full well they're going to assign Honami to the main character like they always do and the Saki will insist on playing the main villain like she always does and then Ichika gets stuck playing every other character while also playing the trumpet like he always does

[tsukasalvr]

Idk if your requests are open or not AAHH! But if they are:

(Possible TW in my request for mentions of depression, anxiety, commiting di3 joke)

Could you do a reader with bad depression and anixety. And maybe one day reader makes a joke about 0ffing themself and then they dont show up to school for a few days

Characters I would prefer(from TBHK): Kou, Teru, Hanako, Akane(boy)

You can add more if you like! :)

Im sorry its not very specific, this is my first time requesting something

Also sorry i know topics like these are difficult for some people <3

depressed!reader who makes su*cidal jokes

Anime/fandom: Tbhk

Characters: Kou Minamoto, Teru Minamoto, Hanako, Akane Aoi

Warnings: I don’t proofread, depressed reader, mention of suicide

A/n: just got broken up w by my pookie wookie☹️💔

Tbhk masterlist | Main masterlist

Kou Minamoto

Is immediately put off by what you’re saying and is immediately concerned, and gets even more concerned once you get together and just stares nervously at you while stuttering, not knowing what to say

“That’s so embarrassing, if that were me I would kill myself no doubt! Being so stupid like that, I wouldn’t be able to live with myself!” You casually said while looking at a post on your phone.

“O-oh… umm…” Kou is at a loss for words sometimes and tries to brush it off by moving onto something happier to distract you from thoughts like those

When you make a joke that’s one day too far he genuinely seems so much more concerned and ask if you’re okay. He gets so worried about you that it’s best not to make jokes like that near him.

If you don’t show up the next day, he gets worried and is immediately trying to leave school early even though he knows Teru will berate him later for it, he needs to see you’re okay and when he arrives to your house and sees you are, he’s very serious about not making jokes like those again and is invites you to his house more often to distract yourself and is willing to help you get help

Teru Minamoto

Gives you a nervous smile when you joke about suicide and even when you you’re dating he still gives you an obvious fake smile to not hurt your feelings. He knows that outright saying that if you need someone talk to talk to can be annoying sometimes so he’ll try to subtly let you know he’s there

Whether it’s from talking about a topic of a documentary of a tragic life of some celebrity and all they needed help to having Kou telk you that you’re part of the family and that you can tell them anything when you’re over at their house

“I can’t stop messing this up! God I really should’ve taken those pills when I had the chance, what the hell!” You said angrily at the fact you couldn’t get the string through the small hole in the needle.

Teru could only smile at you, he never says anything to your ‘jokes’, but then he stops and just goes to frowning hoping that you’re not being serious

When you don’t show up the next day, he’s not super worried and just assumes you’re late but sends you messages. But after a few hours the messages become more frequent and by the end of the school day he’s running to your house scared. When he sees you’re alright, he’s pissed and says enough is enough and he’s not taking anymore jokes and is instead going to help you

Hanako

He might laugh at your jokes, but it’s only so he doesn’t worry you. He’s not an unfamiliar when it comes to stuff like this and he knows you might now want to talk about it right away so he’s fine with trying to take it slow

On the inside though, his ghostly heart is scared that you’re it joking and you’re actually being serious. He can’t bear the thought of you dying—and especially dying this way so he keeps a close eye on you and has Kou and Yashiro even make sure that you’re doing okay

“God, I’m so stupid and useless” you say with a laugh as you look at your test result and shove the paper back in your bag

Hanako stares at you, and lets out a laugh that’s believe enough. He’s conflicted on what he should do, should he ask how you’re doing? What if you lie to him? Would you even want to talk to him?

It seems as if his worries have come true when you didn’t show up to school the next day and asks if Yashiro or Kou have seen you at all and to message you on those weird electronic things. Yashiro only agrees to go to your house when Hanako asked because she too was worried about you. Hanako waits impatiently the next day and sees you and you tell him you were just feeling sick. If he could, then Hanako would definitely cry and basically forces you to promise to tell him if anything is wrong with a scared and worried expression on his face

Akane Aoi

You’re the most precious person in his life so he takes everything very serious when it comes to you. A paper cut? He’s getting ready to call an ambulance for you and is frantically asking you if you’re okay.

So joking about such topics near him immediately alarms him and hea on full protective mode with asking if you’re joking or not. He takes everything you say seriously, he cares about you a lot so to see you laugh about it, hurts him a little

“What if I jump out this window right now? I really do want to do this test!” You whined and looked over at the window that was right next to where you were sitting.

Akane had a prominent frown on his face, he knew you weren’t exactly mentally okay and you’re jokes were becoming more and more frequent

He’s on full panic mode when you don’t show up to school the next day and the worst possible outcomes are immediately coming to mind. He hopes he’s wrong and is blowing up your phone and is willing to mess up his perfect attendance streak for you, he’ll fix it later. But when he sees you overslept and your phone died because wig wasn’t charged, he’s disappointed. He knew it was getting worse if you dying was what came to mind when you didn’t show up so he pledges to help you

[lowkeyrobin]

Hey pookie😽I’d like to request headcanons for the mcyts with an actor/actress s/o.<3 Especially how they’d react to any emotional scenes or if the character that their s/o played dies, im craving some angst right now lol

Ly😻

oooo okay okay ; I'm still very much burned out but unable to give myself a damn break so I apologize for these being so short ; I also named movies to get some inspo so sorry if you don't know any/some of them lol

ALSO!! I'm gonna rework my oneshot links on my masterlist so beware any changes lol

MCYT ; actor reader with death scenes

includes ; tommyinnit, ranboo, badlinu, nihachu & quackity

warnings ; language, talk about death, gore & violence

masterlist

TOMMYINNIT

you played a character in evil dead rise, which tommy got really attached too even though you got like 10 minutes of screen time

genuinley started sobbing and laughing at the same time bc your death was so sad to him for some reason yet so cool and bloody

he looks over at you, jaw dropped like "wtf?"

there's actually tears streaming down his cheeks 💀💀💀

you post a pic of him crying on ur ig story and caption it "he's sad I died"

he logs back into his old letterboxd account to rate it 5 stars

his explanation is "my partner died but good movie. I almost cried again seeing the monster thing at the end though"

RANBOO

you had a little cameo in a quiet place pt2

basically your character was alive for a while and helping out the abbotts until you died saving reagan from one of the death angels

she obviously couldn't hear one behind her and your character had to lunge and save her and sacrifice themselves on the island that she ran off too iykwim

like your character went off with her to keep her safe + you died during that chase/fight scene at the end

ran nearly broke down into tears because you got a solid two hours of time in that movie for all that buildup and shit

TO DIE TOO

they started crying a bit cause like ???

literally gave you an award (a massive hug) for your incredible acting skills bc damn

FREDDIE BADLINU

insidious the red door goes crazy

you bond with dalton at college and help him float around and shit

the demon doesn't like that you're helping him whatsoever so it drags your character into the further

the whole kill is done with you exploring the further for a moment, being hunted down by prey and then jumpscared by the demon

it's not a very emotional death but it scares the fuck out of Freddie

"wait, oh my God, they'll never be able to talk to Dalton about supernatural stuff again! what the hell?"

the death was pointless and for a jumpscare but he couldn't care, he enjoyed watching you on the screen

NIKI NIHACHU

you were in the forever purge

you play a very obviously queer & pro-human rights character who's shit on by all the rich, conservative, ranch owning Texans in the movie

you basically had to sacrifice yourself trying to get to the border in time

in the city scene, you get killed as a protection sacrifice

no way you were letting adela die

niki literally started crying bc there was no reason for your character to give up their life but they did anyways

you were such a w the whole movie and she can't help but rant about that as well

she gives you a round of applause at the end cause like that was a damn good performance cmon now

ALEX QUACKITY

alex is never watching any terrifier movie ever again holy fuck

you skipped over the first one bc you couldn't even watch it again and went to the second because you were in it

he was actually on edge the whole movie

what the hell do you mean you were cut in half??? wtf is this?? saw???

he actually almost puked LMAO

you were laughing the whole time your death was playing

"WHAT THE HELL WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING?? THIS UGLY CLOWN IS KILLING MY PARTNER"

"that mf doesn't know you Alex, I do"

"Okay whatever"

[ganondoodle]

i did a mini rant about it on twitter, but i want, and need, to say this here as well

it is sickening to see all media everywhere parrot israeli propaganda and lies while actively ignoring what they are doing to palestine, but especially so seeing it all being done just as much in germany, it feels even more personal bc shouldnt WE be the ones MOST critical of anyone enacting genocide?? a lesson to take from our awful, shitty, horrific history isnt we cannot criticize jewish people ever at all but that genocide is BAD

its seems like they are afraid of being called antisemitic by some people who dont know shit about whats going on so much so that theyd rather support a full blown genocide of 2 MILLION people, and it just

it scares me

i feel like a stranger in my own home, im avoiding news on radio and TV bc it feels like they are trying to brainwash me to cheer for the oppressors; we were responsible for a 5+ million genocide and now the media and politicians want us to support one of 2 million more??? what the fuck???

"well there are some evil people in this country we have been colonizing for years, guess we are gonna have to wall the entire region off so noone can leave and kill every single human life there, sorry, we had no other choice, dont look at us openly bragging about pulverizing a hospital filled to the brim with people seeking shelter from our 6000 mega bombs we dropped within a few days on this region, then calling palestinians 'children of darkness' and us the 'children of light', delete those posts, then change who we want to blame it on every few minutes bc people are starting to see through our lies, but dont you see? the bad people could have been anywhere, we had to, that hospital wasnt the first and wont be the last tho, so sad uwu"

how insane do you have to be to hear that and go "ah yes, that is very logical and justified and totally not obvious lies, heres a billion of currency and a metric fuckton of weapons to kill them all more efficiently, have fun and good luck"

?????????

if you think supporting palestine and wanting isreal to stop bombing them means you automatically support hamas you have no fucking idea what you are talking about actually and you need to educate yourself right about now, urgently

if you think the acts of one terror organisation represent an entire country and thus everyone living in it deserves to die for it, what the fuck is wrong with you there definitely are some horrible fascist, violent cults in the US, there absolutely are some in germany as well, do they represent the entire population of either countries and thus every single thing alive within its borders needs to die horrificly???

why did i have to sit in school trying not to cry my eyes out looking at fotos of piles of tortured, dead people, visit whats left over from concentration camps with all its looming feeling of doom, not even being able to stomach going into the building itself bc it made me want to vomit just being there and learn about every sickening detail of our awful history when im now here seeing and hearing it all over again, but this time im supposed to cheer for the oppressors?

i am appalled of so many countries being so complicit in supporting yet another genocide, but i am especially ashamed of my own. again.

free palestine.

[shakespearean-dream]

TW!!! — blood, scarring and mild body horror ahead 🥲

benny’s turn!

before i start i wanna clarify i hesitated a bit on posting this because lovely mutual @vor-leser just posted his benny interpretation (go look at it and follow him btw), and idk if we like mind melded or smth but our human benny’s are super similar LOL. i damn near scrapped the whole thing out of fear someone would get mad at me but i Would Not be able to start over and get this done ever so this is as good as we’re gonna get. 😭 my apologies niko love u /p

this has been like a full 7 days in the making 😭😭 the art block that i felt coming on while doing ellen and ted hit me like an optimus prime sized semi truck this week along with a depressive episode so i definitely appreciate that happening and i am not upset about it at all! /s i’m totally good so don’t worry or anything /gen, mental health is just weird and i also wanted to explain the gap in my posts 😔

i do not know how to feel about this drawing if i’m so fr with you; i’m proud of myself for AM-ified benny cause i think i got the slowly rotting from the inside out primal freak energy down pretty good, but on the other hand this feels kinda empty?? i usually have a lot more commentary squished in here but i think my brain’s a little fried 🤦‍♂️ i love drawing me some beautiful buff men though so drawing normal ben was familiar territory. however his wack ass haircut i gave him is his punishment for being a PRICK!!! go sit in the corner and think about ur actions benjamin.

like ted n the rest of the sillies i’m not straying too far from canon with his personality, he’s an ass and a murderer and a hella smart dickhead who desperately needs to be punished by the universe (thank you for that one AM). hot take i did not like his “redemption arc” in his game scenario and i don’t think with how he was throughout the entirety of his life (and also throughout the game, main example his inner dialogue) he would actually go out of his way to help the kid because he means it??? n prove he changed to the guys he killed cause he means it??? i dunno maybe AM torturing him made him have a main character “omg i’ve been in the wrong this whole time!!1” moment like the game suggests i’m just not buying it 💀 i’m sure it’s just cause bennys scenario couldn’t be too long and they couldn’t fully flesh him out which i won’t fault the game makers for. i’m a steven universe fan, i know what time constrictions can do to a plot and redemption arc 😭 looking at you white diamond…

his wife n kids are up top and they’re kinda neat to me— i was considering the hc that part of the reason manya (his canon wife) left him is because she realized she was a lesbian which would be funny as fuck considering benny’s also One Of Them Queers 😭. i think during the brief times he was home and able to parent his daughters they got really scared and tired of him, one because he’s just a very threatening powerful and overbearing man, but also because i feel like he would’ve been on their ASS about everything. grades, extracurriculars, friends, wardrobe, this guy was micromanaging his family to an annoying extreme (ofc because of his perfectionist complex). he probably loved manya and the kids in his own weird way, but it was more contractual to him than any real personal relationship. maybe he inherited that from his own parents?? i doubt he ever talked to them after he moved out.

that’s about the end of my thoughts on this fucker. 🥲 funny storyyyy i just remembered i have laundry to finish so im gonna go do that, lord help me. thank you for reading all this if you did!!!!! we’re over halfway through so who do yall want next? wanna save AM or nimdok for last? i’ll see u guys later :]]]

[iconsumedmygoldfish]

I. AM. WRECKED.

DRDT CCHAPTER 2 EXECUTION SPOILERS AND MORE

just watched drdt chapter 2 episode 16. you know what that means!! time for a rant!!

LEVI TAKING BULLETS FOR TERUKO??? I WAS SO SURE IT WAS GONNA BE ACE THAT DID IT AND HE CAME OUT OF NOWHERE

HE'S MY FAVOURITE I AM ACTUALLY SO WRECKED

also may make a seperate post about this but whit is WAY too chill. this is the first time we've seen him lose his cool briefly, and it's when they're locked in. i think he could have some form of claustrophobia.

ace's execution was so fucking cruel. in the end, he got himself killed because he was so scared. it was anticlimactic, it was immediately overshadowed by someone else, nobody really mourned him at ALL. ace didn't get a buildup, and he died knowing that the one person he considered a friend could die the longer he lived on. that is FOULLLLL.

also. ace said that he'd have a third murder on his hands. arei, levi and.... who?

veronika was so annoying this chapter. im sorry but she actually got on my nerves so much. girl. shut up im trying to watch my doomed yaoi

i still don't trust eden

hu jing kinda average, j kinda average, nico kinda average

david not much screentime, but he seemed shocked when monotv was actually unconscious at first. maybe he genuinely believed that couldn't happen? does he have a reason to think so?

im not sure whats up with arturo, smth to do with his sister, not being able to save someone? i actually missed most of the arturo lore and i dont care enough about him to look back

sucks to be charles right now, but i was more confused as to how whit was more concerned about CHARLES than the classmate(s) in front of them literally about to DIE. i know the fandom loves whit but he is giving me so many red flags i have to say it. ill make a post on him soon. i DO NOT TRUST WHIT YOUNG.

eden kinda mid rn but i just don't like her so im biased..

it was very interesting to see teruko's self-blame this chapter and her beliefs coming out more to the viewer. her talk with monotv was so interesting. so monotv really is just a robot - but why was it so sinister in that one scene very early on in drdt? yk red face smile face. we haven't seen that come up again, and monotv hasn't shown many more examples of sinister behaviour. i wonder if that was an example of monotv being controlled maybe??

im wondering if ace helped to kill mai? she could be the third death? i saw someone say that the game could be punishment for them all for what they did to/their connection to mai, and i think that's an amazing idea

also another part on levi. he's trying his best to understand ace, so much, and yet he just can't. i was very intrigued to see how frustrated he was (ha. divorce arc.) but also the fact that he put teruko's life before his own despite having more difficulty than the others is just. wow. like, anyone else in that room had the opportunity to save her, in the same way, but it was LEVI that stepped forward. and for teruko of all people.

i may have to make seperate posts i just wanted to get this out quickly while the episode is still fresh!!! ^^ sorry if missed anything!!!

[bingeeaterblog]

// small warning big re touken hate it's a post on why I hate it and how I think it could've been done better BUT I encourage you to keep reading if you do like them and to give me your thoughts whether to tell me why you like them or why you think im wrong in some regards i love a good debate its why i joined Tumblr

I'm gonna start this off by talking about why I loved the original mangas touken.

They start off as strangers, them only having a REAL meeting when she saves his ass from nishio. Initially she was cold and rude, for every reason he was very disrespectful(also for good reason he was scared and all he knew about ghouls is that they are monsters who hurt people, one literally just had him in a choke hold) but I digress. Kaneki starts working at anteiku and he's shadowing touka much to her dismay she feels he can't do anything right and is just a know it all human.

Right off the bat they have a very interesting dynamic, touka learning to care for kaneki him starting to see her(and ghouls as a whole) as a person and not something he should be afraid of.

As time goes on, touka falls for him, it's what makes everything so hard when he abandons her. She feels betrayed he left just like ayato and her dad did no one ever stays for her? How could they? She makes herself so hard to love shutting everyone out. She blames herself partly, not being able to protect him from whatever happened at the aoigiri base.

When she does see him again she's angry! How dare he come back after all this! Why can't he just make up his mind! So she lashes out, she misses him so dearly but she can't tell him that? Let him know she cares? She hits him and tells him to never come back to anteiku (to her).

You can see why it's so appealing!! The angst!! The drama!!! They have it all! Toukas longing and kanekis isolation are what makes them so GOOD.

To explain why I don't like re touken we have to talk about why I don't like re touka.

Touka before was a very well rounded character, she was brash and a little impulsive, she loves the people around her even if its hard for her to show it in a healthy way. She'll do whatever it takes even if it means risking her own life.

Re touka, doesn't really have that. She's very... Water downed. I like to call it house house wife-ification. She's lost any semblance of her old personality. While I do like the idea of touka calming down and becoming more docile it's not done right, we meet her again and she's just... Like that? There's no character development of her changing it just happens! She's shaved down so she can be the perfect love interest for kaneki, it's even shown in her design! Her eyes are softer and she doesn't hold any of the same energy as old touka(this happens with a lot of female characters ishida just ended up giving them all the same face besides eto).

Kaneki is? Fine? I loved haise as a character and him and touka were sorta cute if u kinda ignore that fact touka isn't touka. Kaneki was fine and re and that's it, he's just okay. His Savior complex is removed and it's just "I wanna save people!!" The whole reason his savior complex is important is BECAUSE it ends up hurting more people he should've been developed to learn how to manage that and be the hero he could be.

Now for their actual relationship.

It's very.... Rushed? There's no tension no build up just "are you a virgin?" Which in my opinion is something touka would never say she'd stumble around it. they made her bold at the wrong times she's an awkward lil freak. And then boom! Sex yeah! And it's? Okay? It's not my favorite I felt like a sex scene between them should've been more desperate!! That's when the marriage bite should've happened! It should've bites and messy kisses and promises to never leave again! There was no passion! There was the "why are you crying" but that didn't really do anything for me!!

I do like the end scene where she was petting his hair that was very soft which is what he needs.

Then toukas pregnant!(Which is something I'll get into good another time) And it kinda feels like they only rush into the marriage because she is... Like I feel like they should've atleast had a dating stage y'know!! Everything just felt so fast with them and nothing like the original:(

The end credits scene feels nothing like touka, she looks dead that's not the character I used to know :( kaneki too only the scene with hide felt real

And yeah! I like ichika! But how cool would it have been if touka got pregnant AFTER re and in the end credit thing she was revealed! Another natural born one eyed ghoul!! Idk...

This is very messy sorry I had to get this out. if you like them? That's fine!! That's super duper cool its just not my favorite. Tell me why you think I'm wrong! Id love to hear your opinions

[dragonroar87]

OHHHHH MY GOD ICYRIDGE PART 2 IM CRAZY IM CRAZY IM SO CRAZY IM INSANE LONG POST INCOMING

live dragon reaction:

abby best girl. also she's trans I'm not taking suggestions or criticism

anna wanting to kill TJ is so based

ok so now we get to the interesting part

THE CELESTIAL IS BACK AND WE LEARN THAT HER "PROPER" TITLE IS THE WITCH AND THAT'S REALLY INTERESTING. I like the celestial so far but I am kind of scared of her

also I noticed that we've begun getting a lot more cutscenes where the player isn't actually there. like we know that's a canon power they have and it's coming into play a lot more so I'm curious to see what wish has in store

next up we got INARI FACE REVEAL???? I was suspicious of the guard just standing next to the group because I knew she wasn't there earlier and then its revealed that she's inari and she walks up to us UNDISGUISED??? this is such a major lore drop done so casually omg

yami misogynist

hahaaaaaa i don't like that WISH LEAVE HER ALONE

kaze rocks up with his army wyd? also that clan member in the far right simply DOES NOT give a shit. they didn't read the group chat when kaze told them all to come wearing matching masks (or like,,,, masks in general. GIRL you're not inari cover your face)

then we got desmond sacrificing himself o7 desmond. about halfway through playing icyridge part 2 I begun to suspect that The Witch was actually Khaos in disguise and I SWEAR I'm right. anyways absolutely CURBSTOMPING Tsuyoi with the first ever mythic type doodle was so fun but it was SO SAD BECAUSE OF THAT PIANO MUSIC WAHHHHHHHHH

OK SO THIS DIALOGUE BOX. THIS DIALOGUE BOX.

WE WERE IN CONTROL OF DESMOND'S ACTIONS THERE AND IT'S CANON THAT WE WERE IN CONTROL OF HIS ACTIONS. WHAT ARE THE IMPLICATIONS OF THIS FOR THAT ONE PORTIA FIGHT BACK IN THE OASIS???

then we got fucking,,, god talking to us I guess. I doubt that it's the Blue Strings themselves (even though the dialogue is blue) because the Blue Strings are the real world player. like me, typing this. and the real world player had no knowledge of whatever "power" we had before this. might be Verdrok or Somniere. I wonder what the "parameters" are tho. hmmmm

ok controlling quincy from a third person pov is trippyyyyy. anyways this tj battle was the easiest battle of my goddamn life I think TJ is just bad.

and then we have....

WHAT DID I SAY BRADEN. WHAT DID I SAY /REF

OHHHHHH MY GOD. OH MY GOD. OH MY FUCKING GOD. OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD.

IM CRAZY IM CRAZY IM CRAZY IM CRAZY IM CRAZY IM CRAZY IM CRAZY IM CRAZY IM CRAZY

I KNEW IT I FUCKING KNEW IT ALL ALONG ITS CONFIRMED ITS CONFIRMED!!!!!

YEARS OF THEORIZING AND SOUNDING CRAZY HAVE FINALLY COME TO AN END. ITS CONFIRMED.

i genuinely didn't expect it to be confirmed this early but uhh YAYY???? but now everyone has severe emotional damage so not yay.

THE ELDER IS A WOMAN??? diversity win? (I could've sworn the elder was referred to as a he at one point but maybe I'm dumb)

okay so now we've got Quincy knowing that he and Zavier are the same, TJ slowly coming around to being friendly again, Suzie having her worldview severely altered because she's apparently a traitor and the player able to semi-possess people when they're battling. oh and also THE ENTIRE FRIENDGROUP HAS BEEN SHATTERED

how we feeling because I AM ON THE VERGE OF TEARS

[mvltisstuff]

Hi! I accidentally stumbled upon your account and I really liked your fics especially on 911 characters. I actually requested a story before but posted it anonymously. It was a lengthy requested where Buck (911) and reader has to go abroad so they got separated and reader didn't know she was pregnant, etc.

And I think I wasn't able to say thank you in advance to that request so this is my thank you. Hope you'll pick it and make the idea worthy. And your stories are great! I love them! More ideas to you! ❤❤

come back, be here - e.b

summary: request

evan buckley x reader

gif from @marjansmateo

a/n: thank you for the request!! i don’t remember seeing it before, but i’ve been having problems w my inbox but it should be fixed now! hope you enjoy :))

every last second of bucks free time was with y/n before she went away. she was going to spain to study abroad for college, and buck couldn’t go with her. he had a life, and he’s happily settled in los angeles. she has a life too, though, one that she’s heavily planned out to give more to buck and her.

buck never wanted her to go. he knew it was her life’s dream to study abroad, but he would miss her like hell. he’s heard all the nightmares about long distance, and they don’t even know if they’re talking about it. y/n was supposed to leave in a week, so buck invited her over for dinner so they could discuss their future. he wishes he didn’t have to say goodbye to the one woman he’s loved more than anyone.

the air in his apartment was uncomfortable, trying to savor the days they had but the upsetting thoughts just kept returning to their mind. it’s been so long that they’ve been dating, they barely remember a life without each other, and that scared buck more than anything. he never wants to go back to his old ways, and y/n helped him.

“so, what should we do this week?” y/n asks, breaking the silence first.

“oh, uh,” buck stutters. “i wasn’t sure, i have work like every day but sunday.”

“that’s when i leave,” she reminds.

“i know, i’m sorry,” he says, breaking eye contact and turning around.

“what’s wrong, buck?” she questions his confusing state. she feels like she may as well just leave, as he’s not attempting to spend a good night together or start a conversation. “i know you’re upset but i didn’t expect you to not want to be with me.”

“i do want to be with you! it’s just-“ buck pauses, thinking about what’s really going through his mind.

bucks been with a handful of women who just up and left. abby was someone he truly cared about. not as much as y/n, but when she left, he was destroyed. he had to pick himself up, piece by piece. y/n was there every time he got hurt, had a bad day, or even had a good day. he doesn’t know how he’s going to go about his day with her being in another country.

“it’s just what, buck?” y/n sighs.

“i’m just thinking about abby and-“

“we’ve been over this, love. i don’t want anyone but you. this is just for me to get experience for work!”

“yeah, i get that,” buck complains. “but what about me? you’re leaving, and im just supposed to stay here? y/n, you are leaving the country. it’s a different time and it’s not as simple as a long drive.”

“buck, i understand what you’re saying, but i am coming back. and i need you to understand me,” her hands are playing with each other anxiously. they haven’t discussed this as much as now, and she has no idea what he might say.

“that’s what abby said.”

“will you stop with the abby shit?” y/n snaps. “i am not her, and i’ll never be her. listen, i don’t know what your deal is about this all of a sudden, but all i want is to be with you.”

“you know i love you,” he nods. “but i don’t know if i can stay here and wait for you to come back.”

“you’re serious?” she scoffs, completely taken aback by his statement. “so you want to break up? you’re going to sacrifice four years for a few months?”

“i’m sorry, y/n-“

“save it, if that’s what you want, then fine,” she gathers her stuff, letting the tears well up and bucks heart stings as he sees them. “i really believed you were the one but clearly, it was one-sided.”

“baby, please, i don’t want this to end like this-“ he tries to speak, but he can’t unsay the words he previously said.

“stop it, you told me what you wanted and you can’t just mess around with that,” she cries, trying to step away from him, placing a hand on his chest as he moves closer. “this is,” she lets out a sarcastic laugh. “this is so mean.”

it was an innocent dream that she’s had since childhood to go to spain. now, it’s finally an option and something she is certain she wants. she never, ever wanted to hurt buck but all of it backfired on her. she couldn’t say the situation was fucked up, disgusting, terrible. she could only muster up the word mean because she never, ever wanted to hurt him.

she whips around, speed-walking toward the front door before he grabs her wrist. she connects with his watery eyes, full of regret and pure sadness, maybe even a dash of loneliness. “i’m sorry,” he whispers.

“me too,” she nods, grabbing the door and walking out. she wipes her face when moving down the hallway, and wishes she could never look back.

on that friday, she got no calls, no messages, or anything from buck. she wanted to at least say goodbye, but the way their connection ended, the one that was so deep and true. she tried to take her mind on him, instead thinking of spain. she wanted to be excited to go, but it felt like everything changed knowing that buck doesn’t want her enough as she does.

the truth is that buck would drop everything in the world to run to her side. he’s so desperate to save himself from the agony of her leaving. bucks had people leave all his life. buck knows he can’t live without her. the only thing on his mind is how much he fucked up. he could handle some months, but he can’t handle her being out of his life for the rest of their lives. the spur of the moment tried to force his feelings into words, the wrong was. realistically, buck would wait forever if it meant she was at the end.

he thought he messed it up forever, that there was no reversing it. she deserved more than what she got from their ending. buck decided to pick up his phone, having no idea if she had left or not.

y/n walked up to the gates of the airport, taking any last attempts to gain the excitement. she wishes buck were right here next to her, to tell her it would all be ok in the end. now, she had to comfort herself with more doubt than she’s ever felt.

she zones out when walking in, looking at the flying airplanes and excited families. she watched them all, wondering where they were traveling. maybe a family vacation, maybe a wedding, maybe a funeral. she wondered if there was anyone in her position in this airport, trying to feel less lonely. her thoughts were interrupted by the vibration in her pocket, snaking her phone out to read the text.

1 new text : buck

have fun in spain!

her heart ached at the sight of the message. it all felt so small, a text that would’ve been appreciated from anyone else. from buck, it leaves a pit in her stomach as the plane takes off.

the lonesome weeks passed slowly, exhausting hours of working their minds on each other. y/n never planned for her stay to be this distant. she had everything right in front of her, but her mind was still in los angeles with buck. the thrills of a new country became minute grins after that night.

she eventually became so engrossed in her relationship with buck that she missed the fact that she was too many days past her period. at one attempt to distract herself, y/n slowly realized. she deep cleaned her whole room, throwing away all the food she had previously bought, wanting to gag at the thought of it. she was displeased because of the waste, but then she took a break.

she scrolled on her phone, getting a notification from her calendar app. she’s like clockwork, she’s always regular. when she spots the little reminder, her heart sinks. the amount of days she was late was certainly cause for concern. maybe she was having another medical problem? she tries to ease her worries but fails.

then she remembers buck. they definitely weren’t not active before she left. so, she does the walk of shame to the pharmacy and buys a test.

the forbidden stick sits on the counter, holding the most complicated thing in the world. there was no way she wasn’t pregnant, there are way too many signs comfort. her fingers shake and fidget on her knees, not even being able to look at it without having to chew at her nails and lips.

the distress and panic really starts turning it’s gears at the sight of the second line. it upgraded at the several other positive results. y/n was just staring at it for minutes straight before it finally kicked in. she was pregnant and the dad was in america.

she knows buck has to know, trying to think of her options while battling tears. he’s the only option to be the dad, and y/n has mixed feelings. she doesn’t know if she should be pissed, sad, or even a little happy. it sounds bad, but maybe it’s an excuse to see buck.

she’s known forever that she wants the rest of their lives together. every last part of him she wants to cherish. this makes it so real, so fast, and while they’re not even speaking. in the mix of all the emotions, y/n still knows exactly what she has to do and what she needs.

buck sat down with a beer in his hand, sitting next to eddie on the balcony. “i just, i wish it happened differently and i feel terrible.”

“buck, it’s not ending here,” eddie reassures. “you guys are meant to be. i didn’t believe in soulmates, until i saw you two.”

“she’s my entire world,” buck says. “i don’t know what i was thinking.”

“you were scared. she was scared. you’re confused, and it’s ok to feel that way,” buck felt like he was back in therapy.

“thanks, eddie,” buck smiles, sipping at the beer bottle and letting the alcohol settle.

the three hard knocks on his door make him sigh, having to force himself up to open the door. his grip on the bottle greatly improved when he saw y/n’s beloved face.

“hi,” she croaks.

“hi,” buck mutters. “w-what are you doing here?”

“i needed to see you, and we need to talk,” she sounds alarmed, scaring buck and making any other worries seem scarce.

“yeah, of course,” he moves. “i don’t want to bother you, so if you want to j-“

“i’m pregnant,” she speaks, her voice shaking and lowering at the words.

buck thinks he might need a hearing aid. there is no way he heard her correctly. buck loves kids, and it’s his life goal to have a family of his own to. he hopes he heard her right, because the only person in those dreams is y/n. he wants to marry her, to get old together, for her to be the mother of his kids.

“s-sorry, what?” he asks, clearly but with his eyes shot open.

“i’m pregnant, buck,” the look in his face could haunt her, the emotionless glance into her eyes makes her feel like she’s stone, and just because of his look.

“uh- ok! come sit down, please?”

she nods, stepping into the apartment as buck reads over every single test, shining lights and using a magnifying glass that he pulled out of nowhere. “you deserve to know.”

“i-im really happy, actually,” he smiles, looking at her nervous hands. he knows she’s scared from her body language, and by her face. he’s able to read her like the back of his hand. “how do you feel?”

“im pretty good,” she shrugs, releasing a sharp breath. “im scared shitless, but…”

“y/n, i cant hold it in anymore,” buck interrupts. “i love you more than anyone in the world. we’re written into forever, and i need you. i only want to spend the rest of my life with you and i know there is no one else out there for me. i don’t know why o said any of what i did, because i want to wait for you, wherever you are.”

as he inches closer to her, the pieces of her broken heart start to glue back together. “i missed you so much, and i only want you, ever.”

“i know,” she falls into his arms, wrapping his around her. “i’m so sorry.”

“i was so scared,” she sobs. “i only want you, buck. i’m never leaving you.”

“i’m here now, it’s all going to be ok,” he shushes, rubbing the back of her head. the entire fright from the whole day starts to disintegrate away, the other feeling nothing but security in the others arms.

[tenderhungering]

veep headcanons? :3

oh this will take a WHILE……i love veep so much. i’m about to wrap up season 6 right now ! i think i’ll do little headcannons / analysis for each character ! i might do a part 2 because i want to also do some more supporting characters. like you know damn well im gonna wanna write for catherine and marjorie as a whole,,,

Selina

named catherine “catherine” like her mother in order to be able to yell said name in anger the way she never could yell back at her mother

the severe mommy issues make her need every single one of her staff to be emotionally involved in her. if she isn’t the center of their life, she gets anxious about it, even angry. she needs to be validated

depends heavily on spellcheck,,, i just think she hates phones for some reason.

she can tell EXACTLY how someone is feeling by making it up in her head and believing it ❤️

got arrested once in her youth and it was wiped off the record. #supportwomen’swrongs

Amy

would do super super well taking up something that makes her adrenaline pump. they keep trying to get her to relax by making her get massages, meditate and be in quiet. she needs NOISE. she should be allowed to beat someone up at least once a day

had a little gray cat whenever she was younger. she likes them ! they’re similar to how she is whenever it comes to boundaries.

bisexual but she has a stressful job so she doesn’t have time to think about that rn

she would benefit from me in her life actually

actually really liked dan bc dan seems to personalize the relationship to the person (dan is so kind ❤️) so she was into him but suddenly got the ick.

Dan

trigger warning for SA and grooming: i think dan’s relationship with sex is so affected by the fact he slept with his teacher whenever he was younger in exchange for a good grade. it has made him view it was an exchange, a transactional affair. it’s why he’s so shit at intimacy, he doesn’t see to her anything out of it.

watches all the latest movies but it’s only because he keeps taking women out to go see them:

has a really sensitive stomach,,,,he says it’s something he ate but i feel like whenever he gets anxious it happens to

catholic guilt galore but he’s busy so he CANNOT get into it

he’s so the type of boyfriend who does baby talk and when he’s recorded he gets real mad about it. get that camera OUTTA here

Mike

he is like a baby duckling to me that’s why he wanted to raise them actually

has so many useless apps on his phone. why do you have a flashlight app you have a flashlight BUILT into the phone. its okay though bc he watches lot of youtube tutorials

probably wanted to vlog at some point but he got yelled at by selina in a clip so he stopped

the personality hire,,, everyone loves him but god he can be so bad at his job sometimes. everyone gets mad but never enough to fire him

because he started dating wendy, he started to dress up a little more ! ties and handkerchiefs match. i love you dad

Jonah

he so ran one of those private meme accounts whenever he was younger but he got so bad at everyone saying they were lame he just posted a screenshot that said SUCK MY DICK SON and blocked everyone

his incessant gross comments are a result of being around a bunch of rich white men that happen to be politicians that tend to laugh at them. he has daddy issues. he needs the validation

his little curls going missing are a result of him getting his hair straightened because he wanted to look more professional actually. he burnt his hands so he begged his mom to help him

gets really anxious about his health CONSTANTLY and has a will written out already because he’s scared one day it’ll (he doesn’t know what) catch up to him

Gary

he knows the lyrics to every new pop song ever. he loves it. he used to play Just Dance whenever he was in college or something i don’t know i feel like he might’ve even been in a club that requires that

has an extensive skin care routine. he puts on those fluffy headbands sometimes but stopped bc he realized it was to keep your hair dry and his is so short lmao

definitely has an undiagnosed anxiety disorder. he just pops a pill of whatever and hopes that it works (it doesn’t)

needs heavy validation from authority figures,,,like badly,,, i think that’s why he enjoys it so much whenever any of selina’s boyfriends acknowledge him as a person (or anyone gives him any importance)

he needs someone to tell him what to do because he is so lost on having any identify that isn’t directly tied to someone else ? he’s not even really sure what he himself likes anymore. uses “we” more than he uses “i”

[messrsrobyn]

Ok nobody I’ve asked seems to give me a direct answer so I figured I’d just voice all my concerns with you? You don’t have to answer everything 😭😭

When it comes to fandom friends how do you move from just being moots to being friend friends? I saw a video you made about it when somebody had asked you a similar question but I’m really struggling with getting them to feel like friends and not just random accounts in my phone.

I’ve seen videos people have made and you guys are sharing jokes in the comments. I saw video of 3 girls that said “Us when anyone hates on mesrsrobyn” and you said like “Fan behaviour” which obviously shows that you’re actually their friend and you’re just teasing them.

Also how do you find people who are ok with you not responding all the time (😭😭😭) I’m just genuinely not active very much on any forms of social media. I was in a marauders gc and I was really happy thinking I was gonna make fandom friends but because I wasn’t active all the time they had a bunch of inside jokes I didn’t get and I kinda felt like an outsider.

Most of the people I see you interacting with online seem really cool and fun, so I’m just wondering where to find people like that. Just genuinely from posting?

I’m sure I’ve worded all this so strangely but honestly I’m sad because I’ve been in this fandom for 3 years in November and I have made no real lasting friendships. I feel like you yapping so much LOL

IK THE VIDEO 😭 my besties yup !!

this is long so i'm putting the lil dashy line thingy

i have v limited advice actually bc i don't think i've initiated many of my friendships in fandom?? despite how little i stfu, i'm a shyyy person. i get scared to text first.

my BIGGEST bit of advice is take. it. off. the. app.

i try to get discords mainly (bc i use it most) but once you take it off of tiktok or wherever you met it feels so much less like mutuals. like yes, we met in fandom but now we are discussing our plans for the day and getting to know each other as Robyn not Messrsrobyn.

i made most of my friends from posting !! i made my account as a whole to meet people and (ive been flagging a bit recently actually but) i always try to reply to EVERYONEEE. so most of my friends were just people that commented that i replied to, their name kept popping up in my notifs? boom. friends. one of them said they loved crimson rivers so next time i found an edit i sent it to them.

ALSO !! i'm so bad at replying.

servers im more active in i think, but just... dms? not very good at all. anyone that doesn't respect that or gets mad? 🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️ i dont want them as a friend.

like it's frustrating i know! i hate the amount of lil red bubbles i have on every single app but it doesn't mean i value my friends any less and they all know that <3 we don't always have the time or capacity to reply and that's okie.

i tend to get it out the way immediately and test the waters. just a lil "btw i'm really sorry for my reply times! i'm not the best at it but feel free to double text me as much as you want" and always make sure that i follow up on everything that's been said whilst i wasn't replying.

im rambling a bit i fear but the right friends won't get mad at it, or make you feel less important bc of it. it might just take some time to find them but You Will.

i feel like i havent actually given much advice?? i'm genuinely so so so lucky to have found the friends that i have but i did nothing. i think i said in a few of my tiktoks rightttt at the beginning that my dms were open for friends and then i think? hope? that i've kept that energy going of like someone that anyone can message and i'll get back to them (at some point 😭 my tiktok dms are a mess but thats an issue for future robyn) so i've been able to just sit back and naturally find them.

i live by the motto of "the worst they can do is not reply" every time i send a comment or dm to a new person

we're all just losers reading fanfiction !! we all want lil friends to talk to about it so interaction and reaching out gives us that BUT it's the taking it off of the app that takes it from mutuals to friends imo.

this is UNNECESSARILY LONG omg. i never know how to answer these ones but i hope it helps a lil? <3 social interaction is NOT my finest point. potentially my worst i fear.

[valorascult]

Hello dear, i stumbled upon your lack mindset vs abundant mindset post and I needed to share something about me.

So at 8. of lack mindset you wrote "not sharing knowledge". This really shook me. Growing up I've been a real Mama's girl, and she would always tell me to never help out friends,or don't share my notes with them, not tell them information abt class, and that my friends only talk to me because they want something from me.

As i grew up, (I'm a senior at college now) I've seen that this mindset actually made me unable to view any of the relationship in my life as genuine and im always scared people will take advantage of me.

I always thought a lack mindset meant something related to money or poverty. But your post really made me see a different perspective. I'm living in a lack mindset?

I'm trying to get out of this mindset, please do you have advices or suggestions for me?

Hello! First, its a huge step already understanding and acknowledging your programming of immediate distrust. Building trust starts with empathy, if you understand your emotions thoroughly, you are more than likely able to understand others and navigate conversations / connections better rather than hyper analyzing. Understand that trust doesn’t have to be immediate and it is a gradual process. There is no need to share your whole being with people you have only known for a few weeks / months but building trust is where it starts. You can do this by engaging in tasks with people you want to be close with, a task where you are both able to be put in a vulnerable position so that you are both bonding and you are able to understand the way they operate on a deeper level / they are also able to understand you. Having a daily grounding routine is also extremely effective, everything around us operates best on the frequency of love so opening your heart via meditation, self care, spending time with nature, etc;. can really open your body up to receiving and working in love / acceptance with others. I, personally would start there and allow myself to feel one with the world. The key here is to unlearn defense mechanisms. The moment you feel yourself leaning towards immediate distrust is when you are able to also look at it from a different reality and understanding - allow the mind and gut to team up and make the better conclusions. I cannot speak for all but most people DO seek genuine connections with others but they are unsure how. I have also dealt with distrust and held back from making genuine connections, it is not an uncommon practice. When you start to believe there is a form of distrust in someone, you can as yourself, if you must, ‘is there any evidence to support this statement?’. And often, there is not. Many do not have malicious intentions, we are all just trying to survive and dive deeper into connections with others and that’s where empathy gets involved. We do it have to fully understand others and they do not have to understand every part of you and that’s okay - but, we should open our hearts a little deeper to understanding others. You absolutely should have boundaries, allowing trust does not get rid of the boundaries you have set for yourself but understand that others have boundaries too and creating a space where mutual respect is given should be most important. You can share emotions / experiences gradually, it does not have to be in an instant. Putting yourself in uncomfortable positions with others can also build trust with them because it allows their guard to come down a little and have you also open up. I’m typing a lot but if you ever have any other questions or questions / statements related to this, you can always message me directly as well xo.

[pommunist]

thank you for allowing people to vent their frustrations or discuss whats been happening in your inbox, a lot of qsmpblr from what ive seen wants to ignore anything besides brightest side outlooks and they shove everything else down by labelling things like the spreading of the latest updates as "doomposting".

i personally havent seen any actual doomposting (expecting the worst possible scenario, ex. "the server is over and will never come back") from anywhere besides a small handful of people who hate quackity on twitter, the closest i can find here is sentiments like "yeah i dont know if ill be back to actively watching every day even if everything is fixed" or "im so disillusioned at this point that im not coming back until we get concrete proof things are better" where its people personally deciding to (often temporarily) leave the fandom, not any actual doomposting or discouraging anyone to still follow the server because "theres no chance anything will ever be fixed".

so yeah, thank you for allowing stuff besides the most positive of takes in your askbox <3 im too scared to post stuff on my own because of the toxicly positive mindset on qsmpblr, so being able to vent my frustrations in your askbox really helps!

Tbh I don’t blame people who are complaining about what they see as « doomposting ». When you love something you don’t want to wake up every morning learning about another set of bad news on it, instead you want to believe that everything will be fixed and that you will soon be able to enjoy it like you used to.

However the situation IS bad. People are talking about negative things because they ARE happening. And it isn’t just some random drama like this is a situation that affected negatively on people, could even be considered breaching some laws and, also, be the end of the project. I don’t like saying that, obviously, but it’s the truth.

Saying it’s joever already won’t do any good but so will blindly hoping that things will be better. Tbh I’m happy that I haven’t seen much of both of these takes except from the extreme sides of the fandom (out of all the anons I got since it started very few were extremely negative, no hate to them btw feel free to vent in my askbox i just chose not to post them).

People can stop watching qsmp altogether, or just keeping to their fav ccs streams, some can chose to keep watching like they did before for X reasons, others are straight up leaving the fandom, it’s all fine, we just need to understand everyone’s perspective without jumping to judgement.

Side note : One thing I won’t tolerate here is hate on the admins who spoke up though (this + the usual assholery aka random hating, bigotry etc)

Personally I haven’t watched a qsmp stream since the situation was exposed but thats just because I don’t want to support the project rn and can’t enjoy the content knowing what we now know. That’s just me though !

Anyway rant over kkkk thanks for the nice ask anon ! Weirdly I think keeping track of the situation and answering so many people who had questions/wanted to air out their thoughts is what helped me not dwell on my own sadness regarding what’s happening ahah