#but if this is my lot in life i suppose it’s not the WORST thing in the world…😏
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Defending @lil-liaa
I usually don’t post in this blog cause i have other ones but i don’t think this is being fair, me and Lia have been moots for a year and I have seen all her work over the years, I don't know a more creative person than her and I have been with her while she makes her moodboards by call and it is simply impressive the hours she invests in doing it, today I She wrote so devastated and we made a call talking, she has worked on this for so long, I remember how excited she was when she reached 1k, what I mean is that her community and her blog are very important to her, these people are accusing her because three Posts are similar to those of other blogs and that seems stupid to me since you have not even seen her other posts to know if she really makes an effort or not, Lia has made collages, dividers, banners, and a lot of other things, to she is really passionate about digital art and the only time she left her blog was because of the loss of a loved one and the truth is I don't care how many people are going to believe me after this post I just want them to leave her alone, here I am attaching some evidence...
This doesn’t even have so much in common just a three pics, in case you don’t know how moodboards are made, 2 or more colors are taken as a base and the images that best match the tones are searched on Pinterest, not only what she "copied" are just two photos but she also made a divider and a collage
Here’s just pinterest pics (proofs that are from pinterest in keep reading) and again i saw a lot of rude comments towards her that so unfair and hurt feelings cause considering how long Lia has been on her blog it's like invalidating all her hard work!!
In this post she even clarify that the divider isn’t made by her but the collage it is, also it’s just 2 pics that are similar!
This pictures are from pinterest, everyone can use it!
People bullying her
This doesn't just happen on the internet, but in real life, one of Lia's moots simply republished the post where they accused her of copying, she asked him/her why he/her did it so quickly, If they were supposed to be moots, if someone betrays you so quickly without questioning anything, they were never your friend and instead of responding privately she/him made a post just to make her/him moots laugh and the comments are gross, my god it's disgusting, this is directly bullying, if you are a thinking person and if you have ever had some kind of link you should try to talk something privately instead of calling the crazy girl and tagging all your moots so they can laugh, the worst thing is that you can tell that this girl only wants interaction because when she and Lia were chatting she threatened Lia with blocking her but then when Lia blocked her she made another post like "she blocked me" it's like, besides being a treacherous rat you can't have the decency to talk to her about it, Lia has been so nice to everyone but after all, this is where you can see who the ones who truly supported her are, and not the fake friends.
I'm not going to censor his/her username, he deserves it, tumblr is as much as real life, the importance of moots is like friends in real life, because if you want you can just harass someone and all your friends will laugh without question anything.
Also, Lia has a tutorial of a lot of things that she made! If she knows how to do it, why would she steal or copy from other blogs?
She has tutorials of gifs, texts, banners, etc, if she really stole and copy, why she knows how to do it by herself?, and if she knows how to do it by herself she doesn’t even need to stole!
LIKE SHE DIDN’T CARE?! Sorry but this is so wrong, i can tell that, SHE CARES, all these people who are making posts mocking her and calling her crazy because according to them she "copied" three measly posts, when if I were in her place and all my years of work were at stake I would also act like a crazy person because it's worth it, here it is demonstrated clearly her hypocrisy, if Lia wants to defend all her hard work or defend herself from bullying by blocking you she is crazy but if she makes a post explaining everything it seems like she doesn't care, this frustrates me so much
Here more evidence of Lia’s drafts
youtube
Just a few of her drafts
And last but not least I want to give credit to Lia's great work these years, so you can see that there is a true artist behind all this nonsense controversy, here are some of her moodboards, my personal favorites that I can't imagine how much time it would have taken
Extra: “Lia we know it’s you” Don’t acuse me of being Lia, i’m just a real friend
Evidence: Contact of Lia and me
Hi guys, it's come to my attention that someone in the moodboard community known as lil-liaa has been copying / taking heavy "inspo" from other creators like @y-unjins and @iluvrei view more for more info + evidence + my opinions on the whole situation
before i start, i'm not trying to run lil-liaa off the platform nor am i trying to stur up drama, this is just to bring light to the situation as not many people know and many people (including myself) defended her when this first happened, i also want liia to realize that what she's doing isn't right and that she shouldn't just brush off "accusations" like these when there is evidence.
proofs
you can see the similarities as lil-liaa used 3 of the exact same pics as iluvrei's including one edited by the original creator without adding credits to the post.
2nd
here you can instantly tell that the moodboard was copied (lil-liaas on the right being an exact replica of y-unjins), only changing 2 pics excluding the idol change and
3rd / last
lastly, you can see how one lia used the exact same divider (+ didnt give creds), two she uses the same images not only in the moodboard but also in her gif (same pics from y-unjins moodboard including the png)
now, lil-liaa was sent multiple anonymous ask from last year and one recently accusing her of stealing moodboards, although a lot of people defended her last year including me due to the ask having no sorts of proof of moodboards being stolen and no one else speaking on it but now the recent ask she has received included proof and her response to it was very (in my opinion) rude and just sounded like she didn't care.
in my opinion, i don't believe this was just a draft she had premade and i don't believe she somehow got the same exact photos from y-unjins moodboard recommended, i believe since this isnt the first accusation and now there's proof of this i believe she has been copying moodboards since last year when she was accused. i don't believe lil-liaa cares about this, the fact she's stealing from other creators and when she gets called out for it she pushes it off with the same excuses
tags
@miujo @rkkuri @lvioung @ciestial @aeraras @sugarish @gyareii @i-kyujin @daddldee @i-mmaculatus @haerinism @chaeryeos @bloomqi @h-yeoni @p-oisn @bitchey @yeritos @yonkiibums @y-vna @y-urios @fairytopea @shuaver @yeoniis
#Youtube#kpop moodboard#lil-liaa#kpop aesthetic#kpop gg#danielle moodboard#bylilliaa#moodboardcommunity#clean moodboard#new jeans#kpop moots#twice moodboard
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NEVER STOP!!! everytime I get mad over DOTC I just come onto your page and read your Gray Wing slander and immediately feel better, thanks muchly! 😌✨️
I am but a humble DOTC Slander ranger, riding across the sunlit horizon with a big iron on my hip, putting every hater's formless frustration into the words you felt but did not realize how to say ✨️
#If there's anything positive to say about it#it's that it's at least a SPECTACULAR kind of bad#It's bad in the kind of way that makes you realize what is so bad about other entries in WC#Like the rosetta stone of things wrong with WC#In no other arc is the ableism misogyny and abuse apologia SO apparent. SO plain to see#And of course your mind's immediately drawn to Clear or Tom because they're so obviously awful as characters.#But even the characters they think are GOOD and frame as RIGHTEOUS are revealing!!#Sometimes even moreso!!#though to be clear I end up biting at Gray a lot more often than Clear because he's awful in a less immediately obvious way#but I think clear is literally THE worst character they have ever put in WC. It's not a contest. It's not even a consideration in my mind.#because at the end of the day. Clear is WHY the arc is so bad.#Gray is defending him and doing a shit ton of abuse apologia and generally being insufferable#but as a tool he is being used in the exact way they mean to use him.#And his USE is to SUPPORT CLEAR.#He may not be the main POV but the arc is ABOUT Clear. It's HIS story. EVERYTHING that happens is supposed to be for HIM.#I haven't gotten to Gray's death scene in my reread yet but I should actually reblog it over here on the main when I do#Because it says it. It says it explicitly. That Gray only ever did anything because Clear pushed or bullied him to action.#And the narrative tries to frame that like a sweet and sentimental thing#But it's actually fucking horrifying. That WAS the entire series.#Clear pushing and bullying others until life was worse for everyone. And then they thank him for it.#bone babble#dotc hate
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i think i have to kill someone.
#WHAT.WHAT . WHAT. WHAT .#why would you bring something up from so long ago and then blame the (then) five year old . what . WHAT . HUH. weird. weiirrdddd.#so you knew? you knew? and instead of being like wow that's Not Normal you demonise the toddler that's probably...... idk.#kids don't Do That what a weird fucking thing to bring up out of NOWHERE just to immediately brush off#i think i have to kill you. i think i have to actually kill you now.#speechless. flabbergasted. i cant even talk about it its so WEIRD. CRAZY. CRAZY THING TO BRING UP#oh my god. if a child was being Like That i would assume the worst and insist someone look into thing and make sure the kid is SAFE????????#jesus. damn. what thebhhell. HUH. if its about what i think its about. it wasnt their fault? at all?#stuff Like This is complicated but jesus. JEEESSSUUUUUSSSS. dont even bring it up this late#if you KNEW. oh my god. IF YOU KNEW??????????#rant#oh my god. extremely vague do NOT ask About It i cant even. jesus. why would you keep something like that to yourself#or use it as 'gossip' or . whatever the FUCK she was doing???#idc if you have your own shit to work through. GROWN ASS WOMAN. you should've approached it with kindness and understanding? and figure out#if help was needed? its not my life its not my anything but that kid is my friend who i had to take care of instead of you FUCKING ASSHOLE#if i KNEW i wouldve at least tried to help. to understand. i hope you die a slow painful death in an empty room cause you cut everyone off#and then turned around to be WORSE . i'd tell you to killyourself but any possible method would avoid you like the damn plague#WOW. that was a lot my bad. pissed the hell off#you say shit about the kid that I!!! had to basically raise cause you were too busy being a judgmental piece of shit. ugh. grrr.#''wow thats so weird where did they even get the idea for that behaviour'' man idk but wasn't it supposed to be your job???? TO FIGURE IT OU#fuming whatever. whatever. none of this is news to me she's always been insufferable#rant .#vent#WHATEVER.#it was so long ago it just.#no reason to bring it up#but if you knew than you should've tried to do something#but you didn't. cause you're cruel and egotistical#and everyone you know hates you. and if they don't you take advantage of them.#what a woman. thanks for teaching me to go through the world with so much hate
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question: when you're starting a new job, what do you most want out of your first week of onboarding? what's most helpful for you to know/understand upfront? also... what's not helpful? tell me your onboarding nightmare stories too lol
#i honestly do not ever think i've had a positive onboarding experience#in my entire professional life#i guess for me a lot of my early-job anxieties are around expectations and 'rules'#like i want to know what time i'm supposed to be there and what time i'm allowed to leave and what the dress code is#and how the hybrid schedule works#so i don't make dumb mistakes right away#i also think i want to be involved in the real work as early as possible#like i don't have to be DOING anything yet but i want to be watching people do things and shadowing in meetings#so i can start to develop a sense of who's who and what the actual work of the office/workplace looks like#and also because i really value getting a feel for personalities as early as possible lol i want to know what the vibes are#hmm and also maybe most importantly#i feel like in any new situation i need a very loose conceptual framework to hold the new information being given to me#otherwise it's just random pieces of info you know? like it's helpful when someone is actively helping me fit information into a frame#like they're saying 'here's the HUGE picture - now let's zoom in and start looking at this one corner of it - and as we add new corners#i'll actively help you fill in the connective tissue that holds these different parts of the big picture together'#hmmm#my worst onboarding experiences have been when the person training me comes in and throws lots of#long complex extremely context-dependent documents or readings at me#and is like ok spend the week reading those and get back to me#and i'm like ??????????#i have NO understanding of what my role is or how this organization functions#at this point it is not helpful for me to pass my eyes over tons of dense info without a guide to tell me what's important#i have no way of gauging of something is important or trivial and then i feel stressed like i have to learn ALL of it#even though i know that a huge portion of it will end up being not that relevant to my day-to-day job
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a little 5 minute vent about a thing that makes my life very miserable
#i've bee living with it for so long trashing myself became a routine#you know this feeling when this little voice in your head actually makes you suicidal fr#i've been meeting a lot new people recently and it triggered the worst self image issues in my life#like all those extremely beautiful talanted smart and kind people make you realise how actually filthy and worthless you are#idk man. life is tough i guess#it's hard to battle a thing that speaks literally into your brain#also the last panel is supposed to be hopeful and stuff. pretended i believe it for a second
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Writing over 30,000 words worth of content for a fic only to realize it’s all pointless because you have no interest in it anymore and you were never gonna finish it anyway….
What even is The Point anymore
#current mood#it’s so joever#this isn’t even the worst part honestly#what really sucks is that this project was the last thing in my life I had any sustainable interest in and now that’s gone too.#now I have nothing. like#the fuck am I supposed to do??? get a new interest??? that’s fucking impossible#nothing hits like it used to and everything is just….bland….and SO MUCH EFFORT to get into#like hobbies are so difficult? and my old hobbies (ex writing) are becoming more and more toxic and like a chore rather than something fun#like writing at this point has become a battle of perfectionism and I’m fucking losing#what am I supposed to do. nothing inspires me. I have no interests. no hobbies. not many friends irl#and it’s not like we ever hang out because people are a fucking piece of work#either they cling to you like dog shit or they never respond to your texts no in between#im just so tired of existing??? and also college??? is fine but like#what the fuck am I DOING here like#why am I getting an art degree??? is this really how I should be spending my time and my parents money?#what the fuck am I gonna do for a job??? what do I WANT from a job???? I don’t even fucking know#i can’t see myself being happy in life doing anything and that’s such a nonstarter#it makes it impossible to start planning anything because I feel paralyzed with fear#and like I said….i don’t have any interests. I don’t LIKE anything. I am the antithesis of curiosity and interest like. there’s just nothing#i can’t do this anymore#im so done#idk why I made this so long but#I guess I have a lot on my mind I wanted to share#sorry for cringe posting on main it will happen again#im sorry in general actually for everything im sorry for being needy and attention seeking and annoying and flaky and never finishing any of#my fics because I lose interest and for not responding to anyone in my inbox I’m sorry#personal#cringe#cringetober#long tags
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man if i had the engergy to write fics. the things id do to fiddleford.. oh man the things id do..
#to me hes very; incredibly repressed gay man who was definitely very in love with ford in college then proceeded to get married to a woman#so he would stop thinking about it because him and ford were just 'college buddies' and 'only kissed a few times when they were really#intoxicated and isnt that a funny story haha' so the first chance he got he just convinced himself he was in love with his wife#because thats what he was supposed to do hes supposed to get married and have kids and provide for his family thats#how its supposed to be- and i do think he loves his family and loves his wife like they were probably friends before getting married#but then ford calls him up again after so long and he just drops everything to *be there for him* like not even because he wants to do it#for science he wants to do it for *ford* and then time goes on out there and the feelings resurface#and i like to think that when the fight he had with his wife over the christmas present that was the moment he finally realized#that hes just been in love with ford this whole time or at least that he wants to go back to him so bad that he just gets on the last plane#back to gravity falls and goes back to ford and as things get worse he just starts breaking down because hes thinking he wasted his whole#life that hes married he cant go back now probably also a lot of internalized homophobia just having the worst time while#fords off with his little triangle bf and starts getting a little colder towards him near before he left and so#after all that after the portal test hes just completely shattered even without the memory gun bc hes just like i ruined my life i think my#wife hates me and ford is just acting insane he wasnt like this before and i did this all for him this could be the end of the world#and so then just a couple of zap zap zaps later and hes old man mcgucket local cook haha! anyway yeah i have to#do some of my physics homework tomorrow its due Tuesday
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I feel like I came out of the womb with raging anxiety
#never been fully relaxed a day in my life#literally had a panic attack at age 6-7(?)#I’ve been super self aware for as long as I can remember#the tension in my body is my natural state#I’ve BEEN imagining every worst case scenario since I could form thoughts#7th-8ish grade is where it got worse#had panic attacks like four times a week#and then heart palpitations started and holy shit I was googling symtoms and that would make it worse#was convinced I would get a heart attack#having a headache is part of my daily routine#then I got a crush on a guy and with it came body dysmorphia#couldn’t look people in the eye from how ugly I felt(still struggle with this one but we got this💪🏼💪🏼)#now I mostly just cry#like I deadass get stressed and overwhelmed and just cry#depression came next and I was honestly not surprised#and it tampered my anxiety a bit but I’d honestly rather feel stressed than feel so numb#yeah I wouldn’t recommend#so basically I lie awake feeling aware of my own heartbeat or of my body#oh and I can’t forget the physical pain that anxiety caused me#muscle aches literally convinced me there was something wrong with me#went to the doctor numerous times bc I NEEDED to be diagnosed with something or I would go crazy and instead got told to see a therapist#and the therapist basically told me everything I had already figured out myself but at least I can talk to someone#tw anxiety#tw depression#tw body dysmorphia#anxiety#mentions of depression#and I’m only a teenager so should I be worried about what happens in the next few years? bc this already sounds like a lot to me#this was supposed to be a funny little post but nvm I guess?? don’t worry about me I’m good though many good things in my life#teenager
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Gushing about Gojo and Megumi and how they are or could have been everything to me I forgot to mention that I really really really love Yuuji. Like, a lot
#His attempt at reaching out to Sukuna‚ saving him and living with him#and how we see can see here and there moments in which he tries to reason with him from the very beginning#is one of my favorite things in JJK#It moves me a lot. It fits Yuuji a lot#But it fits the constant theme in JJK about how curses and people are not that different so much as well#Yuuji in the conditions of his existence looks at himself and then regards Sukuna#and the difference he sees is a faint line between them drawn out of merely being... lucky. Lucky enough to have someone supporting you#So he asks. Over and over. Let's try. Let's try again. This time it can be right. I know you could love flowers and haiku and company#I know you fear death. I will keep you company in life. Let's try again#But Sukuna owns it like Tirso de Molina's Don Juan does#I don't know. I love Itadori a lot#Their dynamic is truly something else. I wish it could be better#Damn I guess I just don't like shonen. The potential is amazing but damn why is it so unsatisfactory#Talking about best potential ever but unsatisfactory sorry to gush over Megumi and Gojo again#but the apparent parallel between them is arriving me off the wall#Megumi's mention to how it's the three of them reminded me of Gojo's similar comment to Ijichi and Shoko when he learnt Nanami had died#I live for these things. I wish there was enough to actually sustain me#I talk too much#I should probably delete this later#Also Gojo found her mother. She said she didn't care but he did. Just in case I suppose?#Perhaps to give her the chance if she did care after all. And I don't know. I don't know. I guess... This is it. This is why I love him#Despite everything he does care. And does take care of things. In his way. Uncouth. Weird. Irresponsibly. But he does#And Megumi laughs#Despite how his world crumbled he laughs. Because of something he wrote. Because of Gojo keeping his promise#In the worst most absurd Gojo way possible. But there he is. Taking care of it as he said he would. Telling him about it#And Megumi laughs. Because that's just so Gojo. Megumi laughs. And it's a sight to behold#And this is it. This is what Gojo could have been. What he was. But the glimpse of what could have been sooo deep when it comes to Megumi#And this is why I love him and them so much. And why the undeveloped potential breaks my ribs so severely#They could have been everything to me! They could have been everything at all! One of the dynamics ever!#Even if it had been nothing! Even in the nothingness! For the nothingness itself. Like the nothingness of this letter! Perfect example
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so i got to see sheeno mirin, ahub, r906, utsuP, & hiiragi magnetite. i missed hiiragi kirai by a few minutes but thats okay im more than satisfied with what i did see.
#r906s SO TALL??? DID U KNOW THIS?????? THEYRE TALL!!!!!!#i only have one vid from utsuP bc my phone was under 20% battery. and magnetite was the last performance of the night#and that was over an hour away & i NEEDED my phone to not die for obvious reasons#i also heard rettou joutou like 4 times tonight and that does NOT get old in that setting#convinced thats how its supposed to be experienced. and probably all giga songs#utsuP had a really solid song line up tho. literally so fun.#thats also coincidentally when the hearing damage became apparent but thats okay#the whole thing was just insanely fun 20/10 would do again#was it crowed. yes. and everyone was so sweaty. but ive never felt more alive in my life#than being in a room full of people that fucking love vocaloid#even the two non vocaP performances i saw had voca songs in them. Everyone Fucking Loves Vocaloid. amazing#i do have vids from all of them.#obviously i have the most from magu. & i have a lot from r906#ahub played quixote & had a live singer for it so i have that recorded too.#sheeno mirin i have videos but i was in the worst spot possible so they arent very good#but i will say besides maximizer & their own songs#they did play mekakushi chord & kagerou days#& unknown mother goose which was super cool to do the ooos with the crowd during#& fragile
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You know I thought for awhile that I was just a rare type of person who sure, liked people well enough but was okay being alone didn't necessarily need anyone and NO. NO. NO. OH MY GOD . YOU GIANT DUMBASS. NO HAHAHA NOOO NOPE
#tide of consciousness#See what was confusing me is usually when people talk about life partner they mean romantically sexually#And also I have yet to meet someone who gets me in the way I want someone to get me <- I think <- good chance I have and squandered it#<- that may be the evil brain talking though#But anyway so I was misconstruing the fact that the people I know and like currently are not people I want to spend my life with#With the idea that there is no one and no chance I will ever want that#And also heteronormative allo society despite my best efforts Is in my brain#And I'm only just realizing how badly I would really like to find a person or maybe people who do make me feel like. I could want that#The idea that there could be someone out there that I would want to spend my time and space with forever is mind blowing#Because honestly and this is of course the mental illness but I have kind of been under the assumption that maybe I am just like. Weeell#Evil and broken and cruel and selfish and HAHA. you know. The usual#Because you know only recently I got my first taste of 'a person is actively choosing you and wants you over all things'#And then I fucked that up because that was my first time believing anyone could care about me and you know you always fuck that one up#And that sucked and is still in the process of sucking but it has also made me realize#That there is actually a way that I would want that. Maybe#Like in a way that worked. I'd really like to have a person like that maybe#And honestly that's a nightmare to have to realize#Because before it was like hey! I guess I just don't have to worry about that!#And now I'm like FUCK. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO DO THIS#because special secret I've never actively tried to connect to people in my life ever#I don't know how you do that! I don't know how to actively form relationships!#I just wait for someone to grab me and pull me along! It's terrifying to think about trying to discover that#AT 20!#I know it's not unusual especially in this day and age in fact it's kind of an epidemic#But you're supposed to learn how to socialize when you're a little tiny baby!!! I don't want to figure this out now I can't even get a job!#Fucking shit that's a lot of words um#Every 6 months I remember that I'm deeply deeply deeply lonely and it's the worst and then I wilfully ignore it until I rediscover it again#Every day I discover a new layer to how utterly wretchedly self loathing my brain is and its the worst#Peeling back a layer of paint and surprise! You've subconsciously thought you were fine being alone because secretly you believe#That it is impossible for you to be anything but alone! Yay!
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#Seven’s Public Diary#vent post#vent#cw vent post#cw vent#cw health#cw medical#cw medication#cw death#death mention#after nearly 2 weeks of unexplained pain and Symptoms and working myself up into the worst panic attack of my life#i finally caved and went to urgent care :)#it’s not lost on me that the same thing happened a little over a year ago. not bc of the same symptoms but it’s the same fear of dying#smthn smthn if i had a nickel smthn smthn weird that it happened twice. i rlly hope this doesn’t become a pattern#i can picture it now. every spring i walk in and they’re like ‘ugh it’s the neurotic hypochondriac with 4 anxiety disorders again 🙄#wonder what they think they’re dying of this time!’#sigh. anyways i’m fine. probably.#the consensus was ‘no you’re Probably not gonna have a stroke and die. you’re just Very stressed and in a lot of pain.’#got diagnosed with Stressed Guy Syndrome so now i take ✨painkillers✨ and ✨muscle relaxers✨ 🙃#they wanted me to take a steroid shot too but that felt like overkill. it’s also a big step for me to be willing to take anything at all#not bc i’m scared of getting a shot in the neck i’m just. scared of medication in general. the side effects. the potential for dependency.#it’s only for a week but i’m still uncomfy with it. but it Is nice to be in less pain. tho i have my doubts that it’ll help long term#time will tell. but i still can’t shake the fear of the tiny chance that it Could be more serious. but it’s not big enough for them to test#for it so. just gotta live with the fear. which in turn is making it hard to relax. which is what i’m supposed to be doing. so.#anyways. i Hope the meds work and i don’t end up back there next week spending More money and seeking more treatment#sighhhh i just can’t catch a break these days. it’s Always Something#at least the electricity and internet are back on after the tornado last week. and at least i’m not in much pain for now. silver linings.#sorry to everyone i’ve unintentionally ghosted but it’s been hard to think through the pain and now the meds are making me eepy#hopefully i’ll recover and recharge my social battery sooner than later. bc i do feel v bad abt it#and it’s So nice to sleep without much pain so i’m. taking advantage of that this week. Seven Try To Relax Challenge 2024
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ohh
#i very rarely talk about stuff like this because i tend to be a very personal person on social media but#ive only really just realized that i guess its true most people will let things fade away on purpose if they dont deem the friend important#and that theyre not like me and will be happy to jump right back into conversation after not speaking for years#ill do anything to keep a friendship and im starting to think thats a problem? that its abnormal?#i dont know. ive always been the one reaching out to try to rekindle something. and after so many turn downs and no effort to hold#conversation i really dont have much of an option to assume that its being done on purpose#believe me im really not the type to immediately assume negative intention in fact quite the opposite#which again... i cant really ever tell when im unwanted versus just feeling unwanted#i think the worst thing is that looking back on conversation i wasnt always the best friend. not the best conversation partner#so then naturally ive got to be like... well... youve made your bed‚ i suppose#its really funny how many times in my life ive found myself thinking 'i really wish i had the insight back then that i do now'#unfortunately it was hardly ever a conscious decision i ever made to act like that. but saying i didnt know any better feels like a cop out#i really did try to know better‚ though. growing up felt like violently clawing my way into trying to understand anyone and everything#i dont know. a lot to think about
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Crazy Ex-Girlfriend accurately conveying what it was like for me to graduate college into a professional world with no upward mobility but A WHOLE LOT of inspirational wall decorations. 🤣🙃🙃🙃
#original#worst part of college for me was the career fairs cause as far as I can tell there was no vetting process for what businesses were there#so I was really really strongly encouraged to go to these things by my parents and professors like every 6 months and it was like...#every single business there seemed to be offering either shitty exploitative low-paying jobs or soul-crushing low-level government work#I guess businesses that offer actually quality jobs just send out requests for applications - they don't send people to fairs at colleges#so it was an incredibly depressing and sobering time where all of this really aggressive inspirational rhetoric I'd been fed my whole life#just slammed up against this very uncomfortable reality#🎵 I AM THE MOMENT. THE MOMENT IS ME. 🎵 😬😬😬#there are jobs out in the world that don't suck ass but the job market is deeply fucked up in general in hyper capitalist america#and I was paying a lot of money to go to this fucking school that was supposed to set me up with a career!#what the FUCK were Teach for America (very exploitative) and canvassing jobs (even worse) doing at the jobs fair for a business school?!#sometimes college is a scam y'all#crazy ex girlfriend#cxgf#(okay well actually the worst part of college for me was the trauma but that was largely not the fault of the school)
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Me playing Mario vs Donkey Kong: Man this game is so janky! I’ve got so many unnecessary deaths because of it! How are you supposed to do some of this stuff?!
Also me playing Mario vs Donkey Kong:
#Super Mario#Mario vs Donkey Kong#Flor talks#got to this amount at world 6+ if you’re wondering#and tbf most of my deaths in the first 6 worlds (and 6+) are in levels that give you a life; so it’s easy not to lose many lives#tho I NEVER would’ve reached 99 lives had the time attack mode made you lose them for each failure#finished this game yesterday and it’s a huge mixed bag#fun enough to finish 100% but it’s definitely going to end up in the pile of never-touched-again completed games#thing is I do like that it’s difficult and that enemies can one-shot you#but a lot of deaths are due to jankiness rather than a skill issue; which gets very frustrating very quickly#a lot of times I considered going into casual mode; which I ended up doing for two challenge levels#those levels being the long bob-omb one bc their hitbox is the worst thing about this game#and the vertical ghosts shy-guys one bc how the hell are you supposed to get all presents without getting hit ???#now I did complete those levels on time attack but also time attack doesn’t have presents to get#on that note my favorite things about this game are time attacks and the ‘plus’ worlds with mini mario#I think the fact you don’t lose lives for time attacks removes some pressure and allows you to experiment (and die) a lot#it’s also a very satisfying mode; the time is tight so it requires skill and having to learn a level; I really like it !#As for mini Mario his movements are incredibly janky but it’s a cute little guy; I love them so much they’re adorable !#So doing levels with one of them is great ! Lots of ‘don’t talk to me or my son ever again’ vibe too
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I missed my opportunity to run away and live it's. I don't want to say it because I'm terrified it will actually happen and I will manifest it happening but it's almost as if I've been grabbed by these roots and can't escape
#I had a dream last night that someone in particular visited. I'm thinking about what could've been. what could've been.#I think I know what I was supposed to do but everything around me was determined it would never happen#I used to believe my m*ther was given a prophecy that I'd become someone. and she didn't want that to happen#whether she knew that I would have horrible feelings about her doing one of the worst things she could to a child#or if I'd die young because oh of course I'll die young. my body can't cope with twenty yet alone anything more#I'm beginning to suspect that#of course. biggest issue is me. I never took the opportunities I was given#I thought rejecting what I was given because they were never good enough was a good idea.#turns out that's my lot in life. not good enough.
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