#but if i did id probably be making up random stuff

[puhpandas]

as someone who isnt super excited for sotm for certain reasons I am really glad that like. it's clear that since ruin theyve been setting up for carnival and sotm IS carnival. so now that carnival is finally coming out, afterwards theyll be moving on to other plotlines since the main villain stuff is sorted out

I'm just rlly happy to finally see a clear direction for how the story is gonna be playing out with like "okay these games were leading up to this so after this will be open possibilites" instead of like. absolutely no info about each upcoming game and being left guessing before it releases and just having to wait and see what's in it and if anything you're looking forward to will be in it

it feels like they have a plan and a solid direction for what they're trying to do and after carnival releases thatll be all that buildup coming to fruition. & we already know from the Scott interview that theres another release 'beyond sotm' that's 'super exciting' so maybe thatll be focusing on another big currently untouched (which is basically all of them) plotline, or even the big campaign game that dawko has been calling security breach 2

[nomairuins]

i just fucking hate having ptsd all of it. so many stupid fucking things send me into fucking hysterics it sucks and i hate it and i dont want itttt anymore i dont want it.

[ryanyflags]

A List of Gender Terms !

So I disappeared for 2 months, but I finally completed this project! :D (Though I've been making some random posts talking about it, so it's not like I was really gone, or what I was working on wasn't obvious.)

It started off as me having trouble keeping track of a couple gender terms (and also not knowing they existed before, since I've never really seen people talk about them), then I thought I should make a list, and if I was going to do that I might as well post it to help other people too. Which I started out trying to make that list on Tumblr, but I found it too limiting so I moved to google docs, which I also found too limiting (I just couldn't achieve my vision, if you will), and now I know html and css.

As usual, I kinda overdid it, but I think I should be a little proud of myself. I had 0 knowledge of html and css, and 2 months later I've made my own website. (I could have made it much quicker, but I often had to take breaks, a bit overwhelmed by all that new stuff.)

Anyways, it has a ton of terms on there.

I have sections for nonbinary, abinary, midbinary, atrinary, midtrinary, androgyne, agender, neutrois, maverique, ilyagender, aporagender, outherine, kenochoric, and xenogender.

For 7 categories (sex terms, adult, general term, child, gender quality, gender-quality-in-nature genders, and spectrum / -iagender spectrum).

And they all have sources on both Archive Today, Wayback Machine, and if still existing, the original post too. (At least to the best of my abilities, and there are a couple of exceptions that I couldn't figure out.)

I did put effort into this, but it's possible I missed something. So if I made a mistake anywhere, or if anyone has any extra information to add on, or if you just have some comments, you can tell me. My ask box is open, but comments on this post would probably be fine too.

Also, I checked on a couple of different browsers, mobile too, and read up on web accessibility and checked and all that (I tried using a screen reader, I'm not a pro at it though, so it's possible I may have missed something obvious), so I hope the website itself is useable. But if there's any bugs there, just tell me (it'll be appreciated).

I'm also thinking of making another compilation, but for flags (for all of the terms listed here), and maybe orientations too, but maybe later haha

I also don't know how to write a image id for the top picture, if anyone wants to write to one I'll add it.

-

Below the cut is a short little video scrolling through the site.

[olderthannetfic]

The yaelokre thing is reminding me of something I did when I was about seven or eight years old.

I had a bunch of toy horses and had invented extensive lore for them. It was a sprawling fantasy world, and each toy horse was a specific character in that world with specific relations to the other horses. These weren't just random toys I'd pick up when I was bored, the box of horses was an ongoing creative endevour that I had poured a lot of time and effort into (there were convoluted family trees drawn on graph paper and an in-universe newspaper I wrote with coloured pencils and handed out to my parents and siblings).

Anyway, one time a neighbour girl came over and played with the horses, which I was OK with in theory (and not sharing one's toys was some sort of high crime in my mom's book), but the neughbour girl made the pink princess pony be a bratty child instead of the adult diplomat character I'd developed her has.

I pitched a fit.

Absolute screaming meltdown. I could not tolerate someone taking my creation and doing it wrong. It genuinely hurt me to see my creation misused and twisted in that way, and the only way I had to express that was to scream at the neighbour girl for playing with a plastic toy wrong.

The difference between me and Yaelokre is that I was eight years old and Yaelokre is old enough to use twitter. And Yaelokre had the option to not post their characters on the internet, while I, because of my mom's rules, did not have the option of not sharing my horse characters with the neighbour girl.

So I undestand how Yaelorke feels and I sympathize with them, but I'm also going "dude, you had a choice here and you brought this on yourself".

--

(Anon who threw a fit at age 8 because someone played with a toy horsie wrong) I remember trying to explain to my mom, through the tears and the meltdown and an eight year old's grasp of things, that my horse characters were personal and meaningful and having someone "ruin" the story like that felt like a violation. And mom just got mad at me for being selfish and refusing to share my toys "It's just a toy horse, she didn't break it or anything". But I wasn't upset about the neighbour girl waving around a piece of plastic wrong, it wasn't the toy horse I was upset about, it was something iddy that I had created, and what upset me was my perception that I was being ignored and my thoughts and feelings were being misused, not the plastic horse. Yaelokre can probably understand and articulate their own feelings better than I could when I was eight, but they also seem to be feeling the exact same way, so if any of you are going to try to confront them about this, just know that laughing at them or getting mad at them will probably make things worse and make them feel even more trampled and violated than the fanworks existing in the first place, and will not make them go "oh well, it's just fiction, I'll learn to live with it". Because it probably isn't just fiction to them, it's an expression of their id.

I hate it when adults don't grasp this about kids' stuff. It's so common.

The more yaelokre keeps at this, the more they're going to find out the hard way how the internet treats people who regulate their emotions like a small child.

[modelbus]

Ahem- hey- uh- I-

…NOW I FEEL LIKE TOMMY TUBBO WILBUR AND RANBOO IN PART TWO- HELP FFJYTFJHTYTFTH

SOOOOO- HI THERE ITS ME ✨🌌🌙 ANNON, THE DISAPPEARING ANNON- LOOK- I-

OKAY SO EXPLANATION TIME, I HONESTLY THOUGHT MY CRAPPY REQUEST WOULD BE IGNORED- I ALSO HAVE NOT BEEN ON TUMBLR SINCE LIKE A WEEK AFTER I SENT IT- I COME BACK TO READ SOME STUFF FROM OUR GOOD OLD LORD AND SAVIOR MODEL, TO SEE; ONE IT WAS RECENTLY YA BIRTHDAY! (Happy late birthday-) AND TWO.. MY REQUEST WAS TURNED INTO A MASTER PEICE OF AGES WITH TWO WHOLE PARTS, I APPARENTLY HELPED GET YOU OUT OF A WRITING SLUM- AND PEOPLE ACTUALLY REALLY LIKED MY CRUMMY IDEA (Thanks to your POGGERS writing)

so basically- THANK YOU ‘O GREAT MODEL FOR HEARING MY PLEA AND DELIVERING GREATNESS!!!

also I am gonna try and be more active on tumblr now so like- yey.

ALSO ALSO, I may sometimes send in requests of my silly little ideas cuz like chaos cut fed my soul and I am now the ✨ H a p p e h ✨

ALSO ALSO ALSO, part three of chaos cut???, we are at home and get messages asking like “Yo we good now? You forgive us for being assholes??” and we say smth like “you gonna respond to my messages? Then sure” some kind of tweet is made could be as vague as “shes gonna be in videos again yayyy” or could be the group admitting to what happened?? *eyes* maybe responses from other friends?? Ofc that is a suggestion for if you decide to further continue.

wether you decide to continue it or not or you decide to use this or not, thank you so much, chaos cut was all I wanted it to be and more.

I’M BACK BABYYY!!

-All the love, ✨🌌🌙 Annon.

You live!! And I’d love to receive more of your amazing little ideas :) honestly, I’d write 500 parts of Cut Chaos

I probably formatted this weird because of the messages part and the Twitter part but Oh Well.

Pairing(s): cc!Ranboo, cc!Tubbo, cc!Wilbur and cc!Tommy x Fem!Reader (Platonic)

Cut Chaos Part 3

The day you spent with Ranboo, Tubbo, Wilbur, and Tommy after the store might’ve been the best day you’ve ever had. You’re finally able to breathe again, to laugh again. Smiling had started drifting away from you, but suddenly you were smiling so hard your cheeks hurt.

You almost don’t go home. It’s tempting to stay with Ranboo when he offers up one of their many spare bedrooms (and you do mean many), but you decline. Heading back home, closing the door to your bedroom is easier than it’s ever been. Just living is easier than it used to be.

Collapsing onto your bed, it only takes you a second before you start grinning like an idiot to yourself. Things are back to normal, back to how they should be. Sure, you could still be mad at them for what happened, but you were tired of not being around them. Tired of people being pissed off.

It takes you a full three minutes before you roll onto your side and unlock your phone with Face ID. There’s a plethora of notifications waiting for you, from a group chat that you thought was a ghost town. It makes you grin all over again.

Wilbur so we’re all good now?

Tommy yeah, u forgive us for being assholes??

Tubbo Becuase we r super sorry

You You guys gonna respond to my messages from now on?

Ranboo I promise on Tommy’s life

You Then yeah

Tommy HEY

Laughing to yourself, you swipe out of messages to open Twitter and scroll on it. You aren’t afraid to open it, not like you used to be. Random tweets would remind you of what you lost, of the various people confused why you lost it, but now you’re just giddy. Overjoyed.

Part of you wanted to announce the plans you made with Wilbur, Tommy, Tubbo, and Ranboo. Scream from the (metaphorical) rooftops of Twitter that you were back. The chaos squad was back.

But, as it turns out, Tommy beat you to it. Of course he did, he can’t keep his mouth shut for the life of him. In a loving way, of course.

tommyinnit ﹫Tommyaltinnit guess who is BACK in the NEW VLOG

|_ You ﹫Yourusername me BITCHES

|_ Nia ﹫randomfanpersondontworry OMG OMG OMG NO WAY !!! CHAOS SQUAD ISNT DEAD FUCK ALL OF YOU IM WINNING TODAY

You grin, scrolling through the replies to Tommy’s tweet—including Tubbo and Ranboo’s—then realize the group name is trending. With wide eyes, you switch what you’re scrolling through to read the new tweets.

Annon ﹫StarStarMoon Anyone know what happened between the chaos squad??? Like they all drop her and now she’s back?? Something definitely happened…

|_ Real Person ﹫RealpersonIcreated THIS! Why did nobody talk about it. I wanna know fr fr

|_ Max ﹫Myfriendsnameisbeingused I think they all dropped her over those rumors ages ago. Makes sense to me tbh

|_ Charlie ﹫Myotherfriendsnameisbeingused Totally on her side if something did happen honestly lmao

Oh, fuck. You hesitate, not sure what to do, then ignore the tweet and its replies. Things were good, you didn’t need to dwell on when they were bad. Let people be people and let them speculate all they want.

This was your life and your happiness. Returned, at last.

[modawg]

random headcannons abt if the seven could infact have phones

simply what i think their phones would look like/be used for if they could have them as demigods

percy: bro would have a flip phone this is just fact i think he’d also have an iphone but he uses that more like you would an ipad he normally leaves it home unless he knows he’s going somewhere where he’s gonna wanna take pics or notes or smth

id say he and sally had matching flip phones for a while since their cheap sally prob got herself one pre gabe then scavenged her money together to get percy one before he went to his first boarding school and that’s what he’s grown up using

for one of his teen birthdays 14-16 sally got him a newer phone but he’s gotten so used to his trusty flip that he only uses the newer one for games and shit

his wall paper is probably a picture of a dinner with sally paul estelle annabeth and grover it’s very cute

annabeth: she didn’t have a phone for a long while and only ended up getting one from her dad when she started hanging out with them again he got it for her as a way to probably buy her affection he probably got it in like red or something thinking it was her fav color (maybe it was when she was like 5 but be fr) it’s prob like an iphone 8 or smth it was new at the time but old asf now

her phones decked out in camp crafts home made stickers etc etc and she changes her wall paper pretty often depending on her fav pictures she has abt 100000 .5 pics of percy it’s like her fav thing

she mostly just uses it to take pictures set reminders/timer and to look things up + keep in contact with sally and paul

she’s broken it like 6 times at this point but the hephaestus cabin keeps fixing it for her

piper: new new new girlies got the newest phone only bc her dad bought it for her she probably had a phase where she continuously shattered/broke her phone to get her dads attention and was forced to have a flip phone for a while but now that everything’s cooled down her phones the most pristine out of all the seven

her phone is fully decked out with a polaroid of her trio in the case stickers bangles the works it’s probably the best looking phone you could have and she loves it but she only started doing that post chb when she first came to camp her phone was default everything bc she kept getting it replaced

leo: leo either built his own version of a phone or somehow got one like 6 years ago and keeps adding stuff to it/changing things on it to keep it alive bc that thing is holding on for dear LIFE

the most JACKED phone out of everyone like you wouldn’t know he’s a son of hephaestus bc that bitch is wrecked it’s got a cracked screen is disgusting but works probably the smoothest out of everyone’s

he mostly uses it as an extension of his work to take pics of what he’s working on write notes and maybe use the calculator if he was a mortal the police would’ve been at his door like every other day bc of the shit he looks up

jason: he had a cj mandated pager lets be fr he didn’t get a phone until piper took him and hazel to get them ones and when he did get one it was a flip phone it’s sturdy low-key and gets the job done he also just gives me the vibe that he’s feel guilty if you spent more then 50$ on him

his phone also has some stickers including a little bangle of superman that piper made him get it also has a peice of tape on there with his name on it like you would the inside of a kids shirt incase he looses it

frank: he’s got a pretty new phone it was a gift from his gma but it’s locked up in a big fat otter case and he kinda hates using it so it’s default everything until hazel gets her own phone and he starts using it more

i feel like phones aren’t things many ppl have in camp jupiter so he kept that shit under his pillow so he didn’t draw more attention to himself

once he lets himself use it more his wallpapers probably a picture of hazel and percy making goofy faces and he probably has at least one sticker or bangle that matches hazels

hazel: hazel def has an ipod touch she probably traded in a chunk of gold for some cash and bought the cheapest thing but piper got her to at least get something with a screen

her phone case is probably just a white phone case with a bunch of pictures of horses on there and her wallpaper for like a year was just the first selfie she took with jason and piper post buying the phone

once she learns how to change her wall paper she changes it every other week to different random pics she takes

she has a really bad habit of butt dialling people

nico: bro doesn’t have a phone he just seems like the type to not give af abt that and only gets one when will forces him to but it’s forever the most default shit ever he maybe changes the wallpaper to a pic of will but that’s abt it prior to getting his own he was the kid who’d show up and immediately ask if you had games on ur phone for him to play

SPOILER: he does get jason’s flip phone when he dies and uses that for a while but he refuses to change anything about the phone and only uses it for emergencies

when he’s really sad he listens to jason’s voicemail on repeat “hello! you’ve reached jason grace im not available rn but i’ll call you back when i can thanks!..uh piper is it still recording-“

[seivsite]

includes: nagi seishiro x gn!reader x mikage reo & itoshi sae x gn!reader x michael kaiser. hinted afab!reader, polyamorous relationships hcs (ngro n kise), messy hcs, reader is shorter than them, intended lowercase — wc: 999

NAGI X READER X REO

i’d say you’re in the same school as them, probably in the same classes. you would softly wake seishiro whenever classes are over because he always asks for snacks from you when he misses lunch.

as for reo, he met you through sei, who would tell him stories about how you always give him snacks.

(he also found out that if you’re there nagi has motivation to actually play soccer with him).

when they joined blue lock, the three of you stayed in touch (after they got their phones back and catching up with you) and met up during on their two week break.

reo probably realises first that he’s interested in you after you took care of sei whenever he isn’t around. then he also realises that he’s in love with his best friend, so fun!

at one point sei accidentally said something along the lines of, “aren’t we already dating?” to the both you and reo, and least to say that both of you were bamboozled.

anyway, all three of you talked and boom! poly relationship!

how would they be in a relationship? reo spoils you and sei rotten. like horrendously quite concerning amount of money spent. he spends so much on the two of you, you’d ask him to stop but reo is like “no :3” while sei just takes whatever reo gives to him like ⊂(( ・ x ・ ))⊃🍙

cuddles in bed are a must!!!

positions depend on the mood but i’d imagine that you would be in the middle, since reo and sei are quite tall they love to be the big spoons. sei is in front of you while reo is behind your back.

sei’s face is always on your neck/collarbone while reo’s head is resting in your hair (he thinks your hair smells nice). reo also holds the both of you while you and sei are in each other's arms.

(don’t worry, reo also gets his fair share of cuddles)

onto their love languages, i believe sei’s love language is quality time and physical touch imo, reo is definitely giving gifts and acts of service.

reo would always give you gifts every now and then. he would also take you to expensive restaurants, pulling the chair back for you, wiping little crumbs off your face, etc.

sei is a lazy lover, he’s more keen on having you on his lap while he plays games. having you near him gives him a sense of comfort and he gets excited whenever you’re interested in the games he plays.

if you guys played minecraft, both of your beds are side by side. he also gives you random flowers he finds when he’s running around <3

they both do one thing and that is giving you all the kisses! randomly kissing your forehead, cheek, neck, lips, wherever they can reach really. they love the sound you make when they catch you by surprise.

in conclusion, dating them would be chaotic but you love them anyway <3

KAISER X READER X SAE

oh damn gurl, how’s your life having two new gen 11 as your boyfriends?

jokes aside, all i can think of right now is you met them at a meeting with the new gen 11 team, probably discussing stuff (quite irrelevant). moving on—

you could be a manager or some sort and kaiser took an interest in you, very much flirting with you. and then sae saw the two of you and moved kaiser away from you thinking he (kaiser) was making you uncomfortable.

honestly don’t know how you got sae’s attention but id say you always paid attention to him whenever he’s alone after practice, or giving him towels and water on the occasion he practises late.

as for kaiser, simple enough he just thinks you���re pretty, and over the time he found you interesting. so he keeps on asking you how amazing his goal was, or purposely lifting his shirt to wipe off his sweat to show his abs in front of you. honestly anything to tease you and see your face flushed.

how did you end up together, is a mystery nobody knows except for the three of you.

i imagine kaiser and sae thinking of confessing to you at the same time and so when it happened you just responded that you liked them both and suggested a poly relationship.

yay now you’re dating two most wanted men in the world. goodluck dealing with their fangirls!

your relationship is definitely not publicised for your own safety. knowing how crazy fangirls can be they think it’d be better to announce it once they’re a bit older.

(you’re dating sae and kaiser but they aren’t dating e/o, but feel free to interpret it however you want!)

they both spoil you way too much, it’s concerning you of how much money they have in their bank accounts.

kaiser definitely calls you mein liebling while sae calls you mi amor.

if you are learning german or spanish, they will happily help you. sometimes they say sentences in said languages and it’s just them saying how much they love you.

kaiser definitely kisses your lips while sae kisses your forehead more. (i'd like to think they’re lowk easily jealous, so don’t be surprised if theres a mark or two on your neck)

onto love languages, both of them are giving gifts but sae would lean towards acts of service and quality time while kaiser is probably leaning towards physical touch.

sae would give you snacks that you like whenever he comes home from the konbini, also opening the drinks that you struggle opening.

kaiser would cuddle you any chance he gets, doesn’t matter if all his teammates are still around he will have you on his lap with his arms around your waist.

in conclusion, the “it” couple frfr, the three of you are just the hottest couple in town. if you ever reveal it to the media, be prepared for all the twitter hashtags trending worldwide <3

NOTES. this is a bit messy but whatever lol, there’s so little poly bllk x reader so i am making my contribution. also my bllk debut hope u enjoy <3 konbini = japanese convenience store, liebling = darling, mi amor = my love

LIKES AND REBLOGS ARE APPRECIATED! ‹3

[fatallyaddictedtofiction]

My Spn Finale Thoughts:

As the ending of a show: 7/10

As the ending of Supernatural : 2/10

Let's start with the super obvious: things that Dont Make Sense.

Dean didn't know vampires were real until some way into s1 (ep16?) and yet knew John's journal almost off by heart, but never saw the clown mime vampires written into the journal? Hm.

At the start of the episode, we have Dean saying something like "to honour their legacies all we have to do is keep living" then literally dies 20 minutes later, completely dishonouring Cas' sacrifice

Where the Hell did Miracle go???

Who was Sam's blurry wife? Why wasn't she in any of the photos on the mantelpiece? Speaking of, where were all of Sam's friends, like Charlie, Kevin maybe, Ellen and Jo etc? Jody and Donna??

Why would Bobby say Cas helped when we don't even get to see him (i will come back to this thought later on)??

Stuff I liked/tolerated:

The CONCEPT of the emotional Sam and Dean talk

OG number plate on Baby

Ellen's Roadhouse

Sam getting to have a family

Stuff I didn't like:

How the emotional talk was done. 1st off, why is the camera focusing on their hands so much, why did they touch foreheads ew? Also Sam's "you can go now" was completely uncalled for like, did he want Dean to die???

Obviously how Dean died. He could have been sent into outer space with the Mark of Cain, he could have been locked at the bottom of the ocean in a Mal'Ak box, he could have stayed in Hell forever, but no. A rusty nail on a hunt he probably didn't even want to do,, he was applying for a JOB.

Jack didn't get to have a childhood and grow up. It would have been so much better for emotional connection to have Jack de-aged to grow up as a normal kid instead of Dean Jr whom we had NO emotional connection to, and only existed to say the same line to Sam that Sam said to Dean.

No representation for the girls or any of the side characters in general.

No resolving Dean and Cas. At this point I wouldn't care what they talked about but they should NOT have only briefly mentioned him just so he wouldn't have to show up.

DEAN DIDNT GET TO LIVE A LIFE. Thats all hes ever wanted. At some points even more than Sam. He had a job application and could have made himself a life but no it was his destiny to die like that or something (more on this later too). Tbf id rather him live his life alone than with a random person we've never seen before (that or Cas but they obviously couldn't choose that one)

My idea of what Actually Happened (aka Chuck Won Theory):

They try to separate the idea of destiny and Chuck's pre-written path, but they are one and the same. 15x20 is exactly the unsatisfying, mediocre ending Chuck wants to punish them with.

Dean's heaven is designed to make him want to stay. Everyone he loves within reach, the mention of a Cas that isn't in the empty (leaving Dean with no motivation to free him of hes 'already out') and the promise Sam will eventually arrive.

Chuck's ending still happened. One of them still got killed. Chuck's still pulling the strings and they are all still in the Hamster Wheel.

Overall: it ended the show. It didn't end Supernatural.

@hostofthepersever @duomaxwellandducks

[beebotea]

Hewllo!! Id like to drop a msg, i read ur heartsteel kayn's college boy and i adore the little details of his actions u put in ♡!! Id definitely like to see more stories on college boi kayn from you!! ♡

☁️ ˖⁺ academic misfortunes — kayn (heartsteel)

pairing: heartsteel!kayn x f/gn!reader genre: fluff, crack, college!au cw: idk probably ooc, not proofread :0 i.e.: adventures of collegeboy!kayn and his classmate/tutor!reader

aahhh! im so glad you enjoyed it <333 i might do a mini series/collection of drabbles for collegeboy!kayn. please send in any requests or ideas you may have or just thoughts to chat about :DD

spinoff of this post

Kayn isn’t what you’d thought he’d be, to be completely honest. Going off of fancams, fanfics, and the general perception of his character to the public eye, you expected Heartsteel’s lead rapper to be a bit more… cool? Well, at least he certainly tries to come off that way.

However, you quickly learn that Kayn is really just a really, really closeted softie loser boy at best trying to compensate with a big attitude because he thinks edgy is cool or whatever. Of course, he would definitely attempt to murder you if you were to speak of these musings out loud but you couldn’t help but find his off-putting demeanour a bit endearing after a while… something akin to a hyperaggressive chihuahua or a rabid raccoon. But of course, there are other times where you’d wish he’d just fuck off and leave you alone.

“Hey loser.” He calls you from the steps, walking up to where you sit in the lecture hall. “Did you do the homework? Let me copy off of you.” He slides into his usual spot next to yours, throwing his backpack haphazardly on the ground beside him.

“You’re not copying my shit. Fuck off, Kayn.” You roll your eyes at him and continue to read through the slides for today’s class.

“C’mon, have some empathy, yeah? The boys and I had practice all day yesterday.” He was a decent enough liar, but he could have been better if he hadn’t texted you to postpone your tutoring session with a picture of him and Aphelios playing with a random pit bull yesterday instead of attending band practice or completing his homework.

“Kayn, this worksheet was assigned like two weeks ago.”

“So? I had stuff to do two weeks ago!” That part was a bit true; Alune always gave you a copy of the band’s promotion and practice schedule for the month to keep you updated.

It was difficult to refer to him as your friend. You saw him often enough—every day in almost every class. And you’ve worked with him on countless partnered projects by now—he’s only ever able to do work with you (in other words, he scares off anyone who tries to ask you to be in their group or be their partner). But he was always a complete pain in the ass.

When you first became acquainted with Heartsteel’s resident delinquent, you were assigned to be his tutor by one of the department heads at the request of Yone. Begrudgingly accepting the role in exchange for “VIP tickets to all concerts, all inclusive backstage passes at events and shoots, and first dibs to new merch releases,” you began your new job as Kayn’s personal tutor for the various courses he was performing horrendously in. It was by no means smooth sailing when you started. Trying to make plans around his schedule, finding places he wasn’t already banned from to study, getting kicked out of establishments because of his hissy fits at minor inconveniences, and then ultimately agreeing to work at his dorm every weekend instead so you don’t have to hide your face in public. What surprised you the most was how hardworking he actually was when he put his mind to it, even paying attention to your explanations for hours until he could grasp the concept at an intermediate level—or got hungry. What was more was that he even showed rapid improvement, bringing back marks higher than a C- and occasionally reaching the mid to high 70s after a month and a half of beginning his tutoring sessions.

“Okay fine. Just this once, alright?”

“Yeah, yeah, I promise.” He flashed you a snarky grin as you pushed your papers towards him, pointing out which ones were a bit more difficult to understand and summarising what should’ve been an explanation done during one of your tutoring sessions.

“You really should start focusing up on your work though, you know. Finals is coming up soon and these exercises are really good for preparation.”

When the professor finally dismissed the class, you found yourself waiting behind for the bright haired rapper.

“Aw you waited! That’s cute.” He sent a quick wink your way as he caught up to you.

“Well you said you were gonna give me a ride to your place so.”

“Just had to ruin the moment didn’t you.” He chuckled, ushering you to follow him. “I hope you’re not scared of motorcycles or anything because I finally got Yone to let me ride it.”

“Huh?”

“Now where did I park it… hm let’s see… Oh! Here!” He grabbed you by the wrist to pull you towards a red and black motorcycle decorated on its sides with white flames. “Sooo whatd’ya think?” He nudged your sides as he grinned at you.

“You are not driving me in that.”

“Oh come on, of course I am! I have a license for it and everything!”

“Kayn you’re literally gonna get us killed.”

“Will not! C’mon, don’t you trust me? After everything we’ve been through? When have I ever let you down?”

“Like literally this morning when you cheated off of my worksheets instead of completing them before hand like you said you would.” You rolled your eyes at him, missing the way he pouted at your words.

“I promised it was a one time mistake!” He took two helmets from a storage compartment in the vehicle and shook them in front of your face, hoping that his attempt to show you his knowledge of roadside safety would sway you in the right direction. “So? How about it?”

With a defeated sigh, you agree with a mumbled “fine” as he threw you your helmet and instructed you to get on behind him. He even took the time to emphasize the importance of ‘holding on [to him] really really really tight.’

“See? ‘wasnt so bad was it?” He said as he helped you off the motorbike, lifting you off the seat by the waist. He helped you steady yourself when your feet finally touched the ground. His hand never seeming to leave its place on your hip.

“It was… fine. I guess.” You couldn’t help but give him a small grin, having enjoyed the ride and being so close to him. Kayn seemed to want to say something else until he was interrupted by a voice calling from the window above you.

“Hey! Kayn’s back!” Ezreal’s green head could be seen poking out from one of Heartsteel HQ’s many windows, waving to the two of you below him. “Hurry up inside! Yone made ramen!”

Before he knew it, you bolted past him and through the front door at the promise of Yone’s homemade cooking.

a/n: def down to write more abt this lovesick loser bad boy (please give me more excuses to)

[bonefall]

Willowclaw Nightcloud sparring buddies to lovers slowburn send post

[ID: A headshot Willowclaw from Warrior Cats. She's a fluffy gray cat with deep, reddish amber eyes and white highlights.]

Background characters that mysteriously vanish between books that I get to give brand new personalities to, my beloved

She's allegiance-only. We know nothing about this woman. There's a Missing Kit statement that she got her name for being a "Fierce Fighter" and that's it. So obviously I'm obsessed with her and I'm giving her stuff to do in BB <3

I might have do the Sparring Buddies to Lovers slowburn or I might just have them remain friends... but in any case here she is. A future buddy of Nightcloud. Girl who has positive opinions on Nightcloud but never really said anything until Nightcloud reached out.

Are you READY for RANDOM INFORMATION THAT I COMPLETELY MADE UP FOR HER? LETS GO

She LOVES kibble. It's her favorite food. She can't even begin to try and recreate the dish at home because then it would be known that she regularly takes food from humans.

Willowclaw is known as one of the strongest warriors in WindClan, but also one of the most secretive. She barely talks and her Clanmates gossip about her a lot because she's so mysterious.

She secretly speaks a fair amount of Seamew because she does hang out with local barn cats and loners. Yew probably learned some Clanmew from her.

That's also where her three kits came from, various local toms. She claimed Queen's Rights of course.

Those kits are Furzepelt, Boulderfur, and Dewspots.

(I wish I could give Dewspots some kits of her own too... but WindClan has sooo fewww catsss)

Her family is 100% different from the Missing Kit statement; her mother and father are Robinflight (prev. Robinwing WC) and Whintail (prev. Gorsetail TNP), her brothers are Owlwhisker and Weaselfur.

Willowclaw is probably slightly older than her brothers, and she looks NOTHING like them. I'm not sure if she was adopted or if one of her parents had an affair but I don't think she's completely related to Owl and Weasel.

Aftergathering attender. Brings kibble and drives a hard bargain to any cat who's curious about what crunchies taste like.

When she's in camp she's usually training, likes border patrols.

She's known as a loner, but she pulls her weight and isn't CHRONICALLY absent so she's left to it.

Anyone who talks bad about her can get clobbered if they want; she's not afraid to exercise her Right to Challenge.

Honestly though? She has good opinions about Nightcloud (strong, hardworking, polite, yet not a total pushover), but she thinks Breezepelt is a bad egg. She's not entirely unfounded in that opinion either-- Furzepaw was Breezepelt's apprentice, and he brought her into the Dark Forest with him. Furzepelt later runs off with him and Sunstrike to join The Kin, too.

(her relationship with furze was... strained. She loves her daughter, but blames most of her problems on Breezepelt. She doesn't understand why she can't just be like Dew and Boulder.)

Meanwhile HARESPRING, blessed boy, mentor of her sweet boy BOULDERFUR, is going to make a wonderful deputy because he has learned from his mistakes. Thank the Stars it wasn't Crowfeather.

She's one of the few cats who fins Crowfeather absolutely INSUFFERABLE. Egotistical little freak. It's no wonder Breezepelt turned out the way he did, when Crowf is SO full of himself. She was popping the FRESH kibble when Onestar stripped him of his Honor Title and exiled him for a while as Just Crow.

But, these opinions, she keeps to herself. Willowclaw rarely does more than react with a smug smile or a grumble-- and she CERTAINLY doesn't get involved in politics. Which is a shame because she's strong and senior enough to be considered for the role of Deputy, but she's really not a leader.

When she makes friends with Nightcloud, she'll be in camp a lot more, almost like Night's "melting" her shell a bit. It's met with baffled rumors from the other WindClan cats. Was it really THAT easy? Nightcloud just asking to hang out with Willowclaw more? THAT'S what got her to be more social?

"Yes," She deadpans, side-eyeing anyone who's still talking, "Maybe they just weren't interesting enough."

[neth-cactus]

iiiii ummm uhhh little drawings from the fic cus i fixated on my own writting jabsjwhdhe i have a looot to talk about so i will do it under the cut, the fic link will also be here

my girly pop, its weird posting stuff on ao3 but like shes there, the whole fic is me posting random little stuff i wrote on a whim so it will be noticeable dhbfjsjd also warning I might have made everyone a biiit out of character so im kinda sorry lols

now for fun notes and stuff about the chapters i did not add to the end notes

"The sun shines bright" not much to not other than after this clover's hand hurt for like a day and flowey bullied the peck out of them,,, also this is the only time flowey calls clover an idiot on this fic

"The flower pot incident" after the end clover spends like 10 minutes explaining everything about flowey, but he explains it like a little kid would, making it confusing as hell, so ceroba gives up and just like pats him and tells them to be good or smth, it was the same with everyone else

also bad quality comic of how the pot came to be

"What kind of milk were you?" the song came in as i was finishing the chapter and it fitted so well i named the chapter after it, as i mentioned it was me like poking gently to clover's life before the underground, his thought process was mostly thinking marlet was angry at them over doing the dishes in "secret" idk how to explain it but yeah :( poor little fella, also as noted at the end, flowey observed all happening and just like kept in mind

"Sewing back the pieces" I loved imagining how clover's room looked, and i had to include it, more joking around from the best friends, id like to think clover knows how to sew but they are just a bit clumsy with the needle, also those things are slippery...

"The calm before the mall" I feel proud about the title pun(? but this is also what i kind of meant with flowey keeping things on mind, by the time of this chapter a bit of time has passed of them living with humans, and flowey knows how stuff can be and how clover is a biiit shy so thats why the warning was persistent, it didnt work but meh

"Fertilizer is a fun word" IT IS A FUN WORD i love writing it lol, but seriously, i tried exemplifying more the thing of clover not speaking a lot so flowey does most of the talking for them, they do speak a bit but its short sentences and very quietly,

"You are just a boy, you are no man" this one will be long again the song fitted and it came on while writing the middle lol, clover does not know very well about the whole story with chara, but they do know that buttercups are meaningful in some sort of way for flowey so thats why they picked them, now is fun to note that the comments about their friends being monsters did bother clover but the one comment that like spilled the cup was the age one, that one hit deep and thats why they reacted that way, also the amount of people did not bother clover that much when they arrived but like the panic and stuff made them very aware of everyone around and med everything worse so ye, lastly, another time flowey calls someone idiot, this time dalv (sorry king)

i think thats all, if there's a specific choice yall are curios about feel free to tell me :3 i will probably have an answer for it

[scarletfire03]

I LOVE the emperor cuttledile, especially its Latin name, "squid-crocodile emperor"; how distantly related is it to the common bullsquid? Would be neat to see family trees of similar species!

thank you! naming stuff is very fun :D

I know you asked for a family tree of the bullsquids but i was meaning to make this anyway so i thought why not now. i did make it silly tho

in my headcanon, theres two distinct groups of bullsquids: six clawed ones and five clawed ones. (i know the og design of green bullsquids has 4 claws but whatever it has 5 claws now)

so six clawed bullsquids mostly contain the land living ones and five clawed ones contain mostly semi to fully aquatic bullsquids. there is like one random monotypic genus of six clawed bullsquid that is semi aquatic but it is independent of the other group. I haven't really thought up all the details of bullsquid evolution tho so all of this might change in the future! and the rest of the tree is likely also gonna change a bit but this is the rough idea i have of relatedness

i cant tell you exactly how closely related each species is but id say cuttlediles and bullsquids are probably about as distant as hyenas and mongooses? who knows

the other xen creatures are not related or at least i haven't thought of wether they might be related or not

[thankyouforthememoriesworld]

I did send that timeline to several folks but I knew you would come through in terms of posting with lots of back up! Everything on that list has either a photo, video, article, social media post, etc. minus a few things I questioned as speculative like 2016. I was able to find some proof.

In a way all I had to do is lay out the years of the major known stuff and their tiktoks/overtime/slam videos and fill in blanks. For those curious about how I figured out some of these tournaments, each high school player has a recruiting page on ESPN so at least with some major tournaments and recruiting notes, I could match it, which is why I was actually pretty shocked to see they were in the same tournament in 2016 but didn't really know each other until 2017.

https://www.espn.com/high-school/girls-basketball/recruiting/player/_/id/225154

https://www.espn.com/high-school/girls-basketball/recruiting/player/_/id/230098

Also high schools like their programs always had schedules out that you can find the archives for. St. John's and Hopkins have their full schedules and results posted from back then so just lining up tiktoks and the significance of the date and it started to fall in place.

What's not in that timeline is the fact Azzi was in a Penn Relay and also national flag football?!?! Like if we want to talk about an incredible athlete. She won flag football in January 2017 and actually scoring the touchdowns and everything. This is before 2017 Team USA tryouts. And then won her race for 4x400 for Penn Relay on April 26, 2018 but it wasn't enough to qualify for championships. That's still insane though. Because she did that and then played that Capitol Classic game a few days later.

You can even watch the relay if you want to sign up apparently (I didn't bother haha). Here's the link to the result and the video link is embedded in there.

https://pennrelaysonline.com/History/results.aspx?cy=2018&en=138

Also not in the timeline are Paige's high school injuries. "In January 2018, as a sophomore, Bueckers was sidelined with an ankle injury that had been hurting her for the first two months of the season. Toward the end of her [senior] season, she suffered from a stress reaction in her right leg due to overuse. Bueckers sometimes wore a walking boot as a preventative measure, was limited in practice and missed the first game of the state tournament." Wiki has the articles for citations. I actually wonder if the right leg issue in high school then caused overcompensation on the left leg which then led to the knee issues. (That's a whole other level of introspection I could probably provide).

Anyway like I said in an early version of this - did all this to provide actual facts since so many like to speculate and make things up based on some random rumors.

I am absolutely not making a future version of this - that's someone else's job :P

So I'm not your favorite and I thought there was something special between us 😞. I have so many more photos or videos I could have used but I had to choose to respect Tumblr's restrictions.

Thanks for telling us how you found your information, I'm gonna bookmark the pages 🤗.

It is so impressive how she is a champion in basketball, football and track. I don't know how she managed between all that and high school.

[cy-cyborg]

Ok so the saga with my old PC continues and is only fueling my desire to get back into fanfiction lol because I found all of the files from my attempt at making a legend of spyro fan-game! I honestly thought they were lost, I'm so excited to see all this stuff again! This was the "logo" for the game (I know its nearly unreadable lol, so it says "The Legend of Cynder, Shadows of The Past". 14/15 year old me didn't seem to care much for readability, I think I'd just discovered photoshop's layer effects lol)

Here's a bunch of random stuff I found.

I'm defiantly going to do a redraw of that last one at some point. That was like, THE thing I remember being super proud of when I first did it. I think it was going to be part of the trailer my now-partner was putting together for the game lol.

Actually, a lot of these were actually just frames from animations, but either the files are either just corrupted, or high school me didn't know how to set fps and resolution properly in the output so I got a headache trying to watch them lol. It's probably the second one honestly. Also I remember my old laptop wasn't able to play back the animation because it would lag so much, so I just had to kind of...guess at timing, and that went about as well as you'd expect. It didn't help that blender used to have this bug where your audio would move around your timeline so it really was just random guessing. I'm amazed anything got done at all, let alone how far we actually got (that is to say, not far at all but we had something playable at least).

I also found the demo files and footage of the "game" running (running at 12fps but running)! I'm curious if they still work, I'll have to download an older version of blender to test them out!

There's actually a lot more but actually finding it is proving to be quite a challenge since this laptop seems to be the digital equivalent of an ADHD "doom box" - meaning nothing is sorted into folders that make even a remote lick of sense to me, it's all just kind of thrown in together lmao.

I wanted to post these though because even though I don't really do 3D stuff anymore, It still made me really happy to see how much progress I've made over the years and how far I've come. Also a few folks who worked on this project with me back on Deviantart have started finding me lol, so in case there's anyone else out there, hello! I'm not dead, I'm still around, I'm just a lot more (openly) queer now lmao.

Image descriptions:

[ID 1: A game title that reads "The Legend of Cynder, Shadows of the Past". The two lines, "the legend of" and "shadows of the past" are written in dark purple text. The purple material is supposed to look like liquid, but instead just looks hard to read. "Cynder" is writen in black, 3D text with red outlines, with the exception of the C. The "c" is modeled as a black tube instead of in a blocky style like the rest of the letters. The inside of the C has a red underbelly, and the bottom of the C ends in a tail, resembling Cynder's from the Legend of Spyro Series. There are 3 white spikes at the top of the C. /end ID]

[ID 2: a 3d render of 4 dragons around a christmas tree. A black dragon at the front, Cynder, is using her tail to hang tinsel, a pruple dragon, Spyro, on the left is reaching up into the branches of the tree. A blue dragon, Ignitus, is hovering behind the tree, his paws outstretched, implying he is placing the glowing star at the top. On his head is a silver dragon, Zerali, balancing on his horns. behind them is a series of floating islands. /End ID]

[ID 3: A render of Cynder with a darker colour pallet than the previous image and glowing yellow eyes, snarling at the camera, guarding a black gem. The sky in the background is blood red and the terrain is flat and barren. /End ID]

[ID 4: A render of an incomplete model of Terrador, a green dragon with brown horns and rocky shoulder decorations. He has no underbelly or wings. /end ID]

[ID 5: A render of a fan character named ekkosel, a blue, anthropomorphic dragonfly with an unsettling, uncanny face and green wings, T-posing. Her green wings are a blur /End ID]

[ID 6: two sketches of a anthropomorphic cheetah heads. One has long ears like a lynx and is labeled DotD design, the other has small, rounded ears like a cheetah usually has, labled TLoC design. /end ID]

[ID 7: A render of Zerali, the silver dragon from the second image, and ekkosel, from the 5th, playing together. In this image, we can see Zerali has a pinky-purple underbelly and shiny gold horns.]

[ID 8: A rendered scene showing a close up of blue ignitus with his eyes closed. He appears to be talking to Cynder, who is in the background, but blurry. The game's logo is visible in the bottom left of the image. /end ID]

[readthephible]

i've seen people talk about shaymien drifting apart and missing their dynamic- since i know you love them both dearly, what are your thoughts on this?

oh dear anon, idk if you know what you’ve signed up for letting me ramble about them. hiding this under a cut bc it will probably be very long and also like tw speculation

so i’m basically rewording what i sent in an emotional, pms-infused series of messages to my bestie arrow @feral-teeth. i have been making connections and conclusions in my head where i’m having to step back and realizing they’re so parasocial, but i think i just emotionally connect to both shayne and damien so much that it “all” has a deeper meaning to me. keep in mind that this all just thoughts i’ve had as a viewer, it’s not me trying to say that any of this is factual or encouraging anyone to pry. don’t do that please (i, avery smoshpvnk, do not endorse the act of harassing real people with my speculative thoughts of them)

my over-emotional Shaymien Thoughts™️ have progressed with my obsession, mainly looking at the wavelengths over the course of their friendship how they’ve been close, then a little more distant, close, then a little more distant. i don’t have a set in stone timeline for it ofc, especially compared to like dan and phil where we have very solid chronological factors to make sense of things, but a rough outline: so random, they become best friends. they eventually become roommates for a little while. damien moves in with an ex and they drift for a bit while shayne gets miscellaneous roles and eventually books with smosh. shayne opens the door for damien at smosh.

from the get go they’re already a solid duo like in show with no name episodes, we see them closer with the damien and shayne show - so many good moments!!!, smosh pit weekly, then into the mythical era still with a good dynamic like in tntls and stuff. eventually we get hacking off mini series (iconic and under appreciated) that starts in 2019. then they seem to still have a good, standout dynamic through the pandemic videos. hacking off comes back for a bit about 2021. there’s also some GREAT moments from like twitch / heavy baf era (basically the time when saige is there) about them seeming really close, chaotic, having fun (ex. quelf, uno, game of life) there was also a stream damien did (12/14/21) where shayne came to his apartment (that i didn’t know about until recently??? i would die for the vod)

we get closer to the renaissance aka anthony’s back era with stuff like baf legacy series (where damien is touchy with shayne as expected, and also i know at the end of the series he is proud of everyone for the commitment and character work but the way he looks at shayne, kill me) ⬇️

[Image ID: baf legacy betrayal set. the main focus is damien in the middle dressed as mr. grub, smiling up at shayne who is standing to the right of the image and posing with a katana as the chosen. angela is on the left, jaw dropped. End ID]

then, the damien and shayne show revival! that’s where damien unintentionally clears up their timeline in a sense, and it’s cute how he gives a sappy monologue about him and shayne’s friendship. it’s really sweet even though damien did make a joke at the end to deflect from it.

i watched the video when it released, and admittedly i haven’t been a recent (as in last 5 years) smosh watcher since about august, but after this, i have just noticed a bit more of a decline in “joint content” with them. the space in which we have had videos with them together since then and especially this year has been admittedly lengthy. i have respect for my fellow rarepair shippers like how we all experienced the spommy drought, but i feel like with shaymien we have an extensive history of “canon” content rather than more consistent, current content, compared to like ianthony for example where we get to see their dynamic all the time. or anyone + the frequent cast members like shayne, ian, courtney. (i don’t really count shour/tney as a ship bc it’s real and like, not to be touched how i see it. but you do you.) even the ones we’ve got, they haven’t been seated together. (except for smosh mouth, but like, that’s the guest chair.)

could this be because damien is just busy outside of smosh? of course it could. in streams and through social media posts, you can see/tell/hear that he has been traveling, auditioning and working a LOT. i feel like with smosh videos though, besides maybe through the delay of sword af, there wasn’t a huge, monumental difference that oh, damien isn’t in videos as much. like it seems a bit more balanced i guess or less noticeable. but also, shayne has been in a ton of videos this year already, so why haven’t they been casted together with how frequently we see them in videos normally??

we get the we found our so random scripts smosh mouth episode. hallelujah shaymien is reborn. right?

idk, this could be me just totally misinterpreting, but i feel like ever since about the “decline” after the d&s show returns video, i feel like there’s a bit of a disconnect. and now this is me being incredibly parasocial and self projecting, but because i relate to damien so much, i can kind of tell that he is the kind of friend that puts in the majority of the work when it comes to upholding a relationship. is this true for all of his relationships? i have no fucking clue. but it’s something i’ve noticed with shaymien specifically. how they just don’t interact the same or bounce off each other as much as they used to.

i got a comment on one of my compilations that started more of a spiral for me:

[image ID: A YouTube comment saying “The fact that Damien wasn't at Shayne's wedding can be something so shocking and sad to me personally.”End ID]

is this true? who knows, i’m not gonna try to look into it too much, but from what i’ve seen, it makes sense. extremely speculative: surely we would have gotten photos? unless it was actually really small and limited, but why would shelby young post about it then? same with renfaire. you’re telling me they both went but didn’t even meet up?

anyway, it breaks my heart. not just in a shipper sense. at the end of the day, i really just want what’s best for them, i love their friendship and i can admire a relationship being only platonic but so strong. i have a thing for duos and always have because my lack of having a best friend throughout my life. anyway

from what i’ve seen as a viewer: you can tell damien ADORES shayne. ofc in our little alternate universes we take it a step further for fictional fantasy fun purposes, but on camera, you can tell he loves shayne so much. they both have seemingly gone through some rough shit, been very vulnerable, and grew up from being 20 and 21 together - so young and figuring out the world. i believe damien’s dad died around the so random time, and being a young adult moving to la to become an actor, mental health, neurodivergence and therapy, weight issues (me coded!! damien is me!!), relationships, etc. and through 13 years, shayne has been a constant.

you can tell how grateful damien is that shayne has been there, proud of how far he’s come, and what they’ve done together. (again, he kind of summarizes it in the d&s show revival.)

how can you tell?

1.) because of how he looks at shayne when shayne isn’t looking back. the way damien looks at shayne in the smosh mouth episode makes me want to BAWL.

the heart eyes haas is INTENSE. it’s just so tender, loving, sappy, sentimental and sweet—the intimacy of getting to be nostalgic with someone about a very niche, specific time of your life is such a concept to me. only damien and shayne know what it was like to constantly be asked “where’s demi?” then have that moved to “where’s anthony?” from so random to smosh. only they (okay, and maybe some other so random cast members) know what it was like to be a “special guest” for all the episodes and never have a solidified position on a goddamn disney channel show, or what the on set pranks were like, or who the makeup artist was that made you look dead.

damien is the one to mention the “metaphysical soulmate radar”. damien is the one to say it was their big break, just not in the way they thought “for friendship and good connections”. if you are Unwell like me about them, there is still the lowkey amanda playing the third wheel bc they’ve known each other for so long dynamic, but it’s different compared to like, bad 2 sentence horror stories.

2.) how he makes references and talks about shayne when he isn’t even there (recently, jackbox video with smosh theme where he did shayne’s bananas on monday joke). a semi recent stream where a character’s name was shane and he said there was no correlation and got all 🥰 (https://www.tumblr.com/queenofcaradelle/741683580962521088/hellers-brothers)

and this:

[Image ID: A tweet from Trevor saying “shayne blocked me” with a meme image of baby Peter Griffin. Damien’s reply: “The hell did you do? I’ve been antagonizing him for 13 years, and never got so much as a shady subtweet.” End ID]

no one asked bro /lh

3.) scroll back on damien’s instagram a bit and see how much shayne appears. here’s a link: https://www.tumblr.com/smoshpvnk/735024614400524288 but to summarize that post it is THIRTY. PHOTOS. where the focus is just the two of them. the vidcon post from last year where damien shared the text exchange “WE are awful 😌”.

AND DAMIEN’S POST ABOUT SHAYNE’S FUCKING BIRTHDAY. HELLO???

also, i stalked damien’s instagram (not promoting to do that, but i did it) and he is a very, like, proud and happy lover of people! like he wants to shout about them from rooftops! i wasn’t in this fandom for saige era, and damien has deleted those public photos from his instagram, but the photos come up on pinterest for me - they’re very cute, sweet and proud.

(took out the @ name of his ex - not about saige bc of date)

4.) even how he touches shayne: damien is a VERY touchy feely person and usually ghosts his hands or gives very light touches to others, but with shayne, it’s a full grab, it’s a grip on the shoulder, it’s an initiated hug. it’s “heart of the cards” with a bro handshake that shayne thinks is gonna be a high five but damien holds his hand and forces it still. even when he knows a touch wouldn’t necessarily be appropriate, with shayne, damien’s inner thoughts just seem to win so he ghosts it (ex. hacking off where shayne has oreo on his mouth and damien pretends like he’s gonna wipe it off)

— end of examples

damien just loves him so hard and so genuinely. and again, this is only speculation, but especially as of lately, it does not seem that shayne reciprocates that much admiration.

i know exactly how it feels to be damien. to need a person in your life that you can be 100% yourself with, without holding yourself back, because otherwise you feel like you’re going crazy. how you can love and appreciate someone so much it becomes obsessive. that person, that relationship, becomes a core part of your identity. how even if it’s not necessarily romantic, you can develop strong crushes on people that feel so intense and overbearing. how you want to spend so much time with them, envision the two of you becoming so close, jealousy making you really hard on yourself.

i know, and maybe damien does too, what it’s like to be the one who gives 75% in the relationship when the other person is giving 25%. the 75% person is trying so hard to keep it alive when it doesn’t seem like the other one is giving the same amount of effort, and disappointingly, unceremoniously, and ultimately — it fades away or crashes and burns.

i feel like the smosh mouth episode, as beautiful as it is, is a great example. how there is some good back and forth between them, but i feel like it’s heavily dependent on only so random nostalgia, which is great, but it’s not a lot of new information. we know they became friends from being on so random. it’s like finding one common thing you and a coworker have and being forced to work together on it to produce a result. again, i love that episode, i watched it the second it came out and blocked the world out to watch it. and maybe i need to watch it back to squash the little voice in the back of my head saying their dynamic is different now, or maybe i need to watch it again to make that voice louder, or maybe i shouldn’t even touch it bc it will break my heart to analyze.

ofc this is only based on what we see. maybe shayne just isn’t a pda person at all (not just touch, i mean other methods too like the 5 love languages. see: my edit of shaymien x everything i know about love by laufey) or damien’s is so strong it makes his look like nothing (again about the 75/25 though.)

maybe their friendship is absolutely blossoming privately and we don’t see it. maybe they will drift apart for a bit but come back together in an amazing way. maybe their friendship is so strong that it can overcome a (presumed) not speaking period like ianthony. or maybe it isn’t. maybe their friendship isn't as strong anymore because of them being busy with other things, or being on different walks of life (ex. shayne just got married which is presumably taking up a lot of time)

i don't mean that to negate any of damien's accomplishments ofc like boi is successful, but it must be hard in a way to have your best friend hitting such a huge milestone when you're just... with 2 cats. not getting to be with him as much anymore. drifting away from a relationship you thought would last forever. stuck caring so much more than the other person does. understanding that life must go on and so do people but it’s a sad event.

i know that, for me, staying busy and forcibly mindful and in the moment/present (working WAY too much) where you don't even have a choice to stop and think and be in your head sometimes just numbs it and makes you forget, and damien has seemed so busy lately. i’m glad he said in his tuesday 4/23 stream that he plans on taking a break soon and that it doesn’t feel bad to be busy. he’s an adult, he can handle his own life, i’m not trying to baby him.

also, i don’t mean to blame shayne or anyone else for my (admittedly silly) little perceptions of some guys from a youtube channel i love. this is, again, all entirely speculative.

my heart hurts thinking about the potential of them not being best friends anymore, of the lack of content we have seen with both of them recently, of my own perception of how much shayne means to damien. don’t listen to mitski (especially francis forever) and think about shaymien at the same time. but if you do, you better meet me in my dms. don’t think about how we’ve gotten, what, 4 videos with them both this year and it’s already almost may. don’t think about how we haven’t seen anything from shayne to damien lately and how it’s all been damien /about/ shayne, mostly indirectly.

who knows what’s going on. but either way, shayne is a big part of damien’s life. thanks for letting me get on my shaymien soapbox 🫡

[kaleidosouls]

random text post of day #

been watching creepcast more or less since the first/second episode and after latest i keep wanting to talk to ppl abt my thoughts and im tired of trying to engage with other youtube comments / i dont wanna keep bothering my spouse with this plus id want to talk to other ppl who are viewers but dhkdhfk im gonna rant behind the cut; tw animal death/violence, child abuse

gonna rant assuming readers is also a viewer cause too tired to explain, sorry. this is just “stuff id want to chat with fellow fans of the poscast but i dont have friends who watch it, and the youtube comments suck for the most part and id rather be turned inside out than login to reddit”, like i did end up using rhe comment section way toomuch already, jm tired and its like 3% normal ppl and 97% dicks and assholes with bully disorder

like it was a big enlightening to just properly label things last night at last and process the feelings and situation. this is jsut a podcast with isaiah bullying his cohost hunter (“as a joke”) and the fans at large are people who enjoying bullying snd find it funny, and try to bully commenters who disrupt their “fun”, trting to discret and demean them as friendless parasocial losers for not playing along the theater of mockery and treating it as socially acceptable.

like its one thing to tease between friends and make dark jokes, its another thing to repeatedly, insistently, laugh at your friend for being traumatized as a child by violent animal death? like. its like i get that initially he was just really baffled at the event like haha oh my god did that happened thats so fucked up (which is annoyingly normie in its own way like yeah dude, none of us have control over fucked up shit happening to us as children, like he makes such a spectacle about it like its this earth shattering thing). like its tragic and a big deal but like wrt trauma its usually safe to be on the level that the person with the trauma is setting, if theyre talkinf about it really intensely it makes sense to match up to that tone or lower. instead hunter is trting to move on while isaiah is just obsessed fascinated with it like its fiction almsot. idk just . uggghhhhhhh

i could kust make a collage fo commwnts that made me like lose hope for humanity each time but i dontw anna dwell on annoying bullshit and commit it more to memory. like people are jusr… like there is some dark humor inherent to like calljng your mom as an adult on your show to have her back you up only for it to turn out it was way worse, but like the way isaiah kept laughing about it for so long.. like hecan laugh and joke like that at his Own traumas if he has them. just. idk. tgisn podcast like just. ugh its making me irritated tot hink abt explaining whats happening in it to people like go watch it with adblock on, im gonnaskip explainjng more and jsut say some feelings to the void that id rather like scream at someone about. i was gonna say scream at assholes in the commmebts but i actually want their internet connection destroted and for them to be forced to dismantle their phones and pcs and set them on fire so they can never speak again.

isaiah is coming off like such a monster. like, “””as a joke””” acting like an asshole is still acting like an asshole, i dont care anymore that hes actually probably rly well intentioned and ncie bc he jsut needs to stop being fucking rancid and a shitty cohost and friend. an honestly i cant even believe the “hes actually nice” shit anymore. starting tj feel hes been an ashsole all along and just pretends to be a good guy. like he takes too much joy out of excessive bullying to be a good person. like genuine just bullying, with no consequences. ppl are like “oh hunters fine with it bc hes putting up with it” like as if every single person alive Never has to put up and laugh along shit that bothers them. specially on what is essentially their Job. hunter barely appears comfortable and he does not dish back nearly as viciously- and we jnow hes capable of rly dark humor and banter too, on his own channel tje vibe is completely different but he has none or that edge with isaiah. while isaiah is literally like i wnan dox you please fans m*lest hunter in the meet and greet, i want this guy dead; isaiah literlaly makea such a huge deal every time hunter had a disagreeing opinion irs clear hes started to just not weight in when he doesnt like something, itd be one thing to make these super intense mean comments if hunter did them back but every time isaiah would not take or tolerate it when it was towards himself,; and honestly all of the stuff before had been like accumulating to be pretty bad but rhe latest ep with the dog story eallyi guess like crosses a line of like, this is just genuinely wrong and i dont care how mcuh the comments say its ‘parasocial’to have basic human empathy! youre watchint a guy talk abt having the family dog shot in the back of the head in front of him by his grandfather, only to then find out on air feom his mother the shooting had been intentional and his grandfatehr was actuallt a monster instead of a disabled man traumatizinf you by accident. like the ironic tragedy of him calling his mom to back him up on that ‘its not a big deal’ only for her to contradict him is funny on a cosmic sense, but like it is iust. not that funny dude. like isaiah kept bursting into laughter just thinking about it. oh is it too absurd for you to take seriously? do yoh just not give a fuck about how tour friend might feel? dude didnt even fucking ask. he didnt eveb show a sliver of care , sympathy empathy anything. he literally says “ill never let you live this down”. LIVE WHAT DOWN???? having his grandfather intentionally shoot his dog in front of him as a 7 year old child? like what the actual fuck is wrong with him??!! have like even a shred of respect for your cohost, like its all ‘as a joke’ but if you consistently ‘as a joke’ act like a cruel manipulative bullying person, im just gonna choose to believe youre actually just that person using “humor” as a shield to excuse your behavior.

like wtf. i was actually a fan of isaiahs chanel first and i didnt rly vibe with hunter that much and i wouldnt have expected, bc i woildnt enjoy watching an asshole, that isaiah wouldve turned out to be such a self centered horrible person. like its all funny TO HIM, i dont get the sense its enjoyable at all to be in that room when isaiah is getting all giddy and having a kick out of treating hunter like a punching back. yeah he probably doesnt mean to be actually hurtful but it doesnt look like the thought even crosses his satan spawn eyes that someone could have a different reaction than the one he was intends there to be. like i dont know hunter and idk if id even like him if i talked to him in person but it sucks qnr is horrible to watch anyone be treated that way consistently. like i wish creepcaet juet actually ended or isaiah learned how to not be shitty. i dont care if its not in his nature to not be awful he should just try to pretend to be a decent person for once. like i feel bad for hunter becuase it comes across like hes more stuck in the podcast than enjoying it and i empathise with struggling to leave “friends” who treat you like shit. and its like work too, i have no idea how much of a monetary and reputation loss it would be to leave. ppl are like “theyre adults they surely worked within themselves” yeah bc no adult ever has struggled or been stuck in a situation thats hard to get out of. honestly like yeah this is just a shitty podcast with shitty fans who just enjoy watching a bigger guy get bullied for no reason because they are probably mostly awful bullies in their own lives too hurting the people around them and i dont need to convern myself over what people who get a kick out of hurting others think.

i guess obligatory like. insane and unwarranted comment to the hosts bc no one is readingnthis let alone either of them but its like what if they read it and like felt x or y way in reaction. maube writing this will give me some semblance of peace

@ hunter: you seem cool and youre a really talented artist and naturally funny on camera/audio. i relate to having memories from childhood warped like that, and im sure/i would imagine that was the story told because it was far from the actual worst one. i think you deserve to respect yourself more, im sure being bullied is no skin of your back, im fat and ive been derided bc of it my whole life, from since i was 70kg and im 100kg now. its smth you get used to and it feels like not a big deal but on a fundamental level i thibk everyone deserves to respect themselves at least enough to not let friends treat you like shit to this extent. like i know banter and teasing is normal, butlike. its so excessive dude. it comes across like youre just stuck there and idk your financials and maybe you coulr be, ive heard of stories like that wrt youtube projects, and subversive animations arent loved by youtube’s revenue. heavy condolences if this turns out to be the case and hoping things can change. im sure it would be hard to quit anyway bc ppl would make such a big deal abt it. but if you are free to leave at anytime and you have freedom and are safe with isaiah,thank god thats great, get the FUCK out of there or get isaiah to stop treatiny you like shit cause you deserve better. if somehow you iust love beint berated like that i guess like each to his own too, i just hope youre doing ok juwt oj the basis of beint a fellow human being who appears to be in a legitimately shitty situation. if you are ajd im insane, thats fine too, id rather be insane than someone be suffering.

sigh

@ isaiah: i really liked your youtube vids. you seemed like a decent enougu guy. ofc like i dont actualyl Know either of tou, injust am human and relating on basic emotional levels based on the behavior you choose to display online. man. what the hell is wrong with you? if i expected you to actually read this i would be more polite but i dont expect a single soul to read this, really. like, man… i want to believe theres capacity of good and kindness in every person so surely you must have it, and if you do.. why are you acting like that. is being mean That funny? i love dark humor but ive never taken joy out of actively bullying people so i cant really relate but like, surely you can find otuer ways to have fun with your friend? im sure you think its all fine bc hunter wont throw a tantrum like you do but some people are actually way more inwards with their emotions and like you coild try to be a little more interested in how someone else feels when you bully them. “as a joke”. like maybe its not as funny as you think itnis, or they migut not be enjoying it like you do. i know its hard to stop when you want to talk but please try to stop interrupting hunter repeatedly after you clewrly mustve heard him adter the call delay? honestly, i thought you were a fine guy but now its like maybe youre just on a power trip, havint someone hostage to validate your opinions on horror and to bully for fun who wont talk back to you in a way thats actually challenging. since you love the sounf of your own voice so much you could do a solo podcast, you dont need hunter to be there as a punching bag in order to make a podcast. if you lvoe and care about hunter as a friend sincerely and iust have been totally by accident actint like a major piece of shit, id like want to hope for you to improve as a person in how you act and id want to believe thats very possible, but episode after episode its just.. like i dont give a shit abt dark mean humor i dont care if you call us in the audience pieces of shit or freaks or whatever, we’re not there talking to you, but hunter Is hearing what youre saying and is actually there.like id say for a christian you are extremely cruel but that is just ao on brand for open christians to behave that way that i honestly wanted to believe you would subvert that expectation, but it seems i was wrong. you know like i dont get this being mean as a joke thinf and neber have, i would say if hunter died tomorrow would you not have rather spent time with him in a positive way where he was loved instead of berated, but youd most likely “joke” that youre glad hes dead and that you didnt bully him enough. im not christian and i dont believe in heaven or hell but i know for you that youre most likely not seeing the pearly gates until you learn to pretend to be a good person to your friends. its probably not even smth you genuinely want to do or care to do but you could make that sacrifice of being nicer so the world is a better place while it has to have you here.

big sigh this isjsut hggggghhhhhh like a shame bc i love horror and i had enjoyed isaiahs youtube vids but , man this is such a disappointment. obviously i dont rly wana watch the podcast anymore butni like hunter reading and his voice and i would just hope for the best for him going forward, and the insane in my brain is like i gotta check it out maybe isaiah apologizes and acts like normal and nice without being rancid for once. even tho i know that wont be true bc it hasnt been for weeks since i started watching, i guess ill tune in for the next and if he foesnt shape up i’ll quit it. find a diff horror podcast or smth. makes me sad imagining hunter stuck in there. kike idk if hes even a good person like hes edgy on his own channel too but in general like he comes across like isaiah used to , lile someone who just seems fine and i havent heard anything saying theres smth horribly wrong with him. just on a basic human level it sucks to see people struggle and suffer. speciallt when its situations i relate and have been to. its been at least (uhh math…) damn 10 years or smth since an event that really stuck with me, where i was kust telling soem school friend abt my life at home bc we were just talking, and i relayed one of the ways my parents would beat me and how i was so scary, and she burst our cackling in my face. its a feeling that took a long time to stop having it sting in my head. she wasnt intending to laugh At me, or bc she thought beating children was genuinely good or funny, but to her the situation was so absurd it was funny. i can understand that on a detached level like if it wasnt real there would be some comedy timing to it. but instead i iust felt like a joke. like i was stupid, like it was this really funny ass thing, and i tried to play along, and it was like the fear trauma and pain that resulted from those events was a joke too. like i was stupid for having my life warped ny the abuse and it affecting me, because it was just so absurd and funny! like damn, i shouldve been abused as a child in a less absurd and funny way so people wouldnt mock me to my face about it. i guess i deserve it and its natural to be treated this way. until i met someoje who actually respected and gave a fuck about me and wouldnt make me feel that way i thoight it was normal and like i was fine with it too. i used to get bullied communally by my entire classroom for half of middle school and i thought those people were called friends too because id never been treated any better by anyone.

hgggghj i think its helped a bit to get it off my chest, maybe. man this sucks. i wish people would iust be nicer to eachother. life is so short, and some people cant even have the courtesy to not be tormented by people they call friends