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chudleycanonficfest · 3 years ago

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Dancing Around You

Day 31, Post #2 by @adenei

Title: Dancing Around You

Author: adenei

Pairing: James x Lily

Prompt: First Date

Rating: T

TW: Some language and mentions of past abuse.

a/n: inspired by the scene in In The Heights when Vanessa and Usnavi go to the club.

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I walk into the corner shop in my neighborhood and see James, Remus and Sirius talking by the counter. The scene causes more annoyance to course through me, which probably stems from the shit mood I’m already in. James and Sirius are supposed to be working, since this is their job. And why isn’t Remus at the broadcast station across the street at his own job?

So what if James owned the shop after it was left to him when his parents passed? Work is still work, and he shouldn’t be skiving off while on shift. I’ve busted my arse day in and day out for the last three years so I could save up to rent a flat in Camden to pursue a career as an interior designer. Moving out of Peckham to a more centralized location will help put me on the map as a well sought after designer.

But that was all for nothing. I’ve just returned from my meeting with the realtor, and despite having enough rent saved up for a whole year, plus the security deposit, he waved me off as if I belonged in the slums! The twat said I needed someone to co-sign a lease with me. Tears sting my eyes as I’m reminded once again of how alone I am. Having walked out at seventeen to escape my parents’ emotional abuse for the last seven years, I had no one to turn to despite the close-knit neighborhood I lived in because this was a secret goal that no one knew about.

I’m sure Marlene’s mum would be more than happy to co-sign a lease with me, but I couldn’t ask that of her. Not when she’s done so much for me already. No, I just need to hold my head high and keep moving forward. I put on my business face and strengthen my resolve, so the boys don’t suspect anything out of the ordinary.

Walking over to the fridge, I grab a Fanta and a Coke for Mrs. McKinnon. When I left the office earlier for my appointment, she asked me to bring one back. Now, I have to return to my job as her secretary at her own Real Estate office and try not to resent every client who walks in the door. When I shut the refrigerator door and turn to head to the register, I see James leaning against the glass of another fridge door.

When the hell did he creep up on me?

“Evans, how’s it going?”

“It’s been better.”

“Anything I can do to help?”

For a moment, I think about letting him in. I open my mouth to say something, but change my mind at the last second.

“You wish.”

“Right, well, what are you doing tomorrow?”

Narrowing my eyes, I observe James. We’ve been friends for years, and it’s a friendship I cherish more than anything. He’s always been there to make me laugh, to match my sarcasm and wit, and he’s never been afraid to go toe-to-toe with me. I know him well, almost as well as I know myself, but I’m not expecting his question or the butterflies that flutter in my stomach in response.

I’d be lying if I said he wasn’t attractive. His perpetual bedhead, black hair and piercing yet kind hazel eyes have always stood out to me. It’s no secret that he’s fit from lifting boxes all day and playing on a club football team in his free time. But I’ve never allowed myself to think there could be anything more between us besides friendship.

So, why does it feel like he’s asking me out? Am I misreading the signs? I decide to keep the ball in his court to get a better read on his intentions.

“I’m going dancing with Marlene and Mary,” I reply, keeping my voice cool and collected.

“Oh, sounds like fun.” He glances down at the bottles in my hands. “All set, then?”

I nod, and If I’m not mistaken, his shoulders slump as he turns to head back to the counter. Should I have invited him and the guys to join us? Before I can ponder it further, Sirius cuts me off and pushes me back into the aisle.

“You and the girls are going dancing? That sounds like fun. I’d bet my buddy over there would love to join you.” He raises his eyebrows as if willing me to catch his subtle hint, which I do.

“Wait, was James just trying to ask me out tomorrow?”

Sirius shrugs. “Probably, but you two have been friends forever, and despite his smooth-talking with most females, he seems to get tongue-tied around you.”

A burst of laughter bubbles out of me. “James? Tongue-tied? Around me? What are you smoking?”

“Nothing, Evans. Just pointing out a fact.”

Fine, if Sirius is going to pester me about this, I will prove him wrong. I brush past him toward James so I can pay for the drinks and be on my way. Sliding a couple pounds to James over the counter, I smirk at him.

“You know, Potter, I could use a dancing partner tomorrow night. Pick me up at eight?”

His head snaps up, and he looks shocked before a goofy smile replaces the surprise on his face. “Er, yeah, alright. I mean, if you’re sure—”

Cutting him off, I put him out of his misery. “Great, see you then.”

The following evening, we’re walking into Alohomora, the most popular nightclub in Peckham. My friends and I frequent the club at least once a month. I love its mix of neons glowing amongst the blacklights and the worn leather benches framing the booths around the perimeter of the dance floor. It’s come to feel like a second home to me.

Dancing is an outlet for my frustrations. I love letting the music consume my soul as the loud thumps of the bass vibrate through my body as I spin on the floor. Tonight will be no different, except that James is with me. As my date. At least, I think he’s my date. Neither of us have actually talked about what this is.

“Wow, I haven’t been here in ages. Have they changed the layout recently?” James asks.

“Not that I can recall,” I wave his question off as I hear a number of people shout my name in greeting.

“I didn’t realize how popular you were here, Evans. I’m impressed.”

“Impressed by what? It shouldn’t come as a surprise that I have more friends than you three. I hope that doesn’t make you jealous.” My playful banter is accompanied by a smirk as James laughs.

“Me? Jealous? Of course not. Care for a drink first?”

“Sure.”

Usually, I’d prefer to dance a bit first, but I don’t want to drag James onto the dance floor if he doesn’t want to. I’m not even sure if he enjoys dancing since I’ve never seen him here before. He’s flagging down the bartender when someone calls to me.

“Lily! Hey, Lily!” Terry Fawcett is pushing his way through the crowded dance floor. “Wanna dance?”

He holds out his hand when he reaches me, but I shake my head.

“Sorry, Ter, I’m here with someone else tonight.”

James turns as he overhears the interaction and waves me on. He contorts his face in a weird, ‘trying to be chill, but still looks sort of pained’ way.

“It’s alright, Evans, go ahead.”

I’m taken aback. Maybe we really weren’t on a date. “But—are you sure?”

“Yeah, just save one for me later.”

“Oh, well, alright.”

My hand falls into Terry’s even though I’m not certain I want to dance with him. There’s an uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach that I’m not used to as I walk away from James. It’s ridiculous, but I think I’m actually disappointed that James passed me off so easily. And I’m just as mad at Sirius for even putting the thought that James might fancy me in my head because it’s all I’ve been able to think about since yesterday afternoon.

Well, there’s only one way to find out once and for all if he cares. Make him jealous.

I dance as I’ve never danced before when the music changes to an upbeat Latin tune. I spin around the floor, dancing with Terry before I’m passed off to other men that I’ve danced with once or twice in the past. It takes everything in my power to not steal glances at James, but I do catch when his baffled look turns dark as he begins to scowl at the men who are practically lined up to dance with me.

By the time he does walk out to the dance floor to cut in, I’m exhausted. He pulls me into his arms, but I’m still annoyed that he’s waited this long.

“Potter, I need a break.”

I pull away from him and walk toward the bar, where Sirius holds two drinks in his hands. I grab one and slam it down, shoving the glass into his chest once it’s empty. Then, I turn and head for the exit to get some air. It’s much quieter on the street, save for the ambient sounds of traffic in the background, a stark contrast to inside the club. I lean against the wall as I catch my breath and watch the cars go by.

The door to the club opens, and the music splits the night air as James steps out.

“Evans, what the hell was that?”

“What was what?” I ask, feigning ignorance.

What? Is he angry? Good. Let him be angry.

“You! You ask me to come with you, spend all night dancing with other blokes, and then when I try to cut in, you ditch me.”

A derisive bark escapes my lips as I push off the wall and step closer to him, matching his stance.

“Don’t you dare try to blame this on me, Potter. You’re the one who pushed me away! I would have been perfectly happy dancing with you all night, but no, you sat back and watched as I danced with everyone else.”

“Well, what was I supposed to do!?”

He can’t be serious right now, playing the victim and passing this onto me. There’s no way I’m letting him get away with this. I step even closer, thankful that my heels bring me closer to eye level with him, so it’s more of an even match.

“I don’t know, put your arm around me and tell the bloke to fuck off? That I’m taken?”

“Are you taken?”

“I don’t know, am I?”

Our breathing is heavy, chests heaving as our noses are a hair’s width apart. All I can focus on is the intensity in his eyes, the gold flecks burning like the flames in a fire. I wait for him to say something, or do something, anything except stare at me. I give him more than enough time, and he doesn’t make a move, so I decide that I’m done.

As much as I don’t want to, I break eye contact and turn away. I’m not in the mood to stay out, so I begin the walk home. James and I are friends, and that’s all we’ll ever be, but that doesn’t stop me from cursing Sirius for putting the thought that we could be more in my head. Because now that I’ve accepted the thought, I’m not sure I want to stay friends. But it’s clear now, this wasn’t meant to be anything special, and I was stupid for thinking it could be.

#chudleycanonficfest2021 #HP fest #hp canon pairings #canon fest romantic

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gloriousgardendonut · 6 years ago

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Walking the Ridgeway, my own way - one woman and her pup

Genesis 13:17 Arise, walk through the land in the length of it and in the breadth of it; for I will give it unto thee.

Whilst camping I met a man who originated from Zimbabwe. He told me a story of how he had applied to become a British citizen many years previous after fleeing his own country for fear of persecution. At the time there was a mix up and due to his own misinterpretation of a letter regarding his application he thought he had been denied citizenship. He was a Christian and prayed to God for help. Whilst doing so he came across the above quote from Genesis. On reading it he decided to take it literally and walked from Aberdeen to Lands End in the hope that God would help him in his predicament. On his return from his walk someone explained to him that the letter was actually saying he could stay in England and due to language difficulties he had misinterpreted it. He explained to me how he was overjoyed and had enjoyed walking all over the British Isles ever since. He also believed that God had rewarded him as in Genesis. Interestingly, this conversation took place on our campsite the morning of the England versus Sweden game in the World Cup. Having our camper van adorned with England flags he had asked about them and we chatted about how we'd be watching the game later in the local pub. Later in the day he and his wife arrived unexpectedly in the pub and joined us in cheering England on to victory, he said it had been another wonderful experience for him as he'd never watched football in a pub before. But I diversify, my reason for this bit of blog is to share my thoughts on the recent National Trail I completed. My reason for walking wasn't concerned with religion but rather a personal challenge I set myself for the Gap Year to do something by myself (without other humans). Of course my lovely new pooch came with me to keep me company. As it turned out the walk gave me plenty of thinking time and possibly helped me to see 'the light' in relation to many things on a personal level. I'm sure if people were able to walk everyday, heads and minds would be much clearer and mental health difficulties would be less than they currently are. I might add that having a dog as well helps my mental health enormously so recommend it to anyone. So 'The Walk' - The Ridgeway National Trail - 87 miles from Overton Hill to Ivanhoe Beacon, an ancient trackway used since prehistoric times and passing through The Wessex Downs, The Chilterns, secluded valleys and remote woodlands of Wiltshire, Oxfordshire and Buckinghamshire. Recommended completion time 6-7 days, recommended average daily mileage 14-15 miles, recommended direction West to East. But hang on……recommendations are all well and good but what about the unexpected! For one the unexpected heatwave in England with the highest temperatures since 1976. Then add to that a 15 month old pup that flits from Duracell high power mode (crazy, spinning, jumping) to flat battery mode (puppy nap, refuses to move) at regular intervals through the day. Then finally, start and finish points along the route miles from our pre booked accommodation and in the middle of nowhere. So with these factors in the mix the 14-15 miles per day was the first criteria to be abandoned, replaced on good days with 7am starts we were able to achieve 10-11 miles and on others with later starts maybe 6-7 miles. The heat was usually above 30 degrees by 11am so afternoon walking was not an option for the puppy. Also the puppy got really tired every 2-3 days so we had to include a couple of rest days for him to recover, but is was good for me as well and usually meant we were raring to go the day after. The other big issue was the M40 or more precisely accommodation we'd booked to the west or east of this. We'd booked a log cabin on a smallholding near to the start of the walk and hoped we could do more of the walk than we did by the time we had to move to our next accommodation - a campsite near the end. As it turned out we still had 40 miles to go (still in the middle) when we had to leave the cabin and go to the campsite. This meant we either needed to return east each day (40 miles first day, 30 miles second day and so on). This would mean taking up valuable pre-lunch walking time and not getting too far before we had to stop because of the heat. So I had an 'ingenious' idea instead of driving back 40 miles, we could pop down the road to Ivanhoe Beacon and start walking backwards, well back to the middle not actually backwards. This would mean we maximised more early morning walking time. Not the traditional way of walking a linear route, but who cares, we were being adaptable to circumstances and we still eventually walked the whole 87 miles and were probably unique in being the only women and pup do do the route that way……EVER!! We took celebratory pictures at the top of the Beacon (the official end), then celebrated with a pub lunch, knowing we still had 40 miles to do and knowing our excuse for a pub lunch was a fraud! So what did I see along the way, well the obvious on any national trail is lots of fauna and flora. One of the Ridgeways distinctive characters is chalk, created tens of millions of years ago by the coalescing of dead seashells and mud, it is the stuff you walk on throughout the walk sometimes bright and shiny under foot sometimes buried just under the surface in field and woods. A famous site along the Ridgeway is the chalk horse on the hillside, you can't actually see it from the Ridgeway, but if you go into the valley you can. Apparently the chalk is permeable and in wetter weather can become very sticky under foot, not a problem for us with the heatwave, rather the glare off its surface probably enhanced the suntan and made us feel even hotter. In the west there is much grassland and pasture, whereas the east was heavily wooded with beech trees, the replacement for the ancient oaks cut down during deforestation many years ago. Interesting and much to the dismay of the puppy, there is little water along the Ridgeway. The chalk soaks it up and so there are no rivers or streams until you get to the middle and hit the Thames at Goring Gap. Unfortunately whilst you can see the Thames for a few miles along this part of the route, there's little opportunity to actually dip your toes in it. We arrived there on a particularly scorching day and found only one place along the bank that was low enough for the pup to enjoy a paddle. In fact he smelt it first and flew down the path so fast to dive in I thought he was chasing something and went into a little panic. The last thing he chased was a sheep in the lakes, not to hurt it but to play with it. He was only 10 months old, it was a scary moment filled with thoughts of an angry farmer reaching for his gun and shooting my new baby dead, alas he returned unharmed, smiling and having no idea of the danger he had just been in. So water lacking we had to take extra supplies in the pack to avoid dehydration. As well as chalk there is stone and at the start of the walk is Britain's largest henge at Avebury. There is a misconception that henge are circles of standing stones like the famous Stonehenge, but this is untrue, they are in fact enclosures, with banks and ditches with opposing entrances. The one in Avebury is spectacular and would have been more so back in the day when more of the chalk was exposed creating a brilliant white circle around the henge. Another place I visited along the route was Waylands Smithy a Neolithic burial chamber enclosed by huge Sarsen stones dating back to 2800BC, wow….that's old. Whilst there in the middle of nowhere and thinking I was on my own, a woman appeared behind one of the stones, after a sharp intake of breath I decided she looked 'of this world' and although she did not acknowledge me (strange), she seemed harmless standing there hugging the stone. Waiting for her to leave, me and the pup did a few modern day selfies and once she'd left I decided to hug the stone too, well when in Rome…… of course it just felt like a cold hard stone with no special powers but to me amazing all the same as it had been sat there putting up with stone huggers for over 5000 years. Talking of strange things along the Ridgeway, as mentioned the east of the way has a lot of woodland…..'if you go down to the woods today, you're in for a big surprise'……… One evening whilst relaxing and partaking of a little vino after a fine days walk along the next section of the way, Simon decided to tell me that he had spoken to a chap that day whilst out cycling. He had told the chap about mine and the pups walk and the chap said he'd done the Ridgeway himself and had a jolly good time of it, until the day he did the Grim's Ditch bit! My eyes widened and my heart quickened as I reluctantly asked for more information. Apparently, according to Simon, the chap had found the place dark, overgrown and difficult under foot with old and gnarled tree stumps, he'd stumbled through feeling increasingly uneasy and a little chilled in his bones. On hearing this I immediately grabbed my guide book and scoured the pages to find this place, my god, there it was 2 miles of it in the middle of the the next days route. I remember swilling an extra glass of rosé before bed and telling myself to put those thoughts of ghosts and superstition out of my head. After a restless night we rose to glorious sunshine and a renewed sense of not believing in ghosts. We set off and within a few miles I became very aware that we were entering Grim's Ditch, my mantra being 'I am a big girl, independent and adventurous, the sun is shining, my dog has big teeth, there is nothing to fear'. All was quiet, it was narrow, a little overgrown meaning I got stung by nettles and kept tripping up over the gnarled tree stumps, did I feel uneasy? A little, it was long, seemed to be never ending, I remembered I was in the middle of nowhere, alone, an easy target, who was Grim anyway? what was he?……………..then suddenly footsteps, heavy, right behind me, my heart leaped, I turned, the chill entering my body, eyes wide I spotted him, right behind me……………the local jogger, 10 stone wet in bright yellow silky shorts. We exchanged hellos and he ran on and I sighed with relief. For the rest of the walk I felt no further fear, in fact the woods became my favourite place on the route, a retreat from the blistering heat, quiet and peaceful. The puppy loved it there too, running and exploring to his heart's content. So then there was the fauna - the animals. I love animals, except COWS, I fear cows, I avoid cows, I have run for my life to escape them and I know they are killers - Google it, you'll find cows have turned on there own farmers and trampled them to death. So when I start any walk I think 'will there be cows?' Normally I have Simon with me on walks in the countryside, he's adept at speaking to the cows and shooing them away whilst I do a large detour around the field they are in. Also he believes the branch he usually picks up before speaking to the cows will protect him, which is good for him. But on the Ridgeway I didn't have my protector. What I did have was an unpredictable dog. Previous I'd had Barney, a tricolour Collie not dissimilar looking to a dairy calf and often the main attraction for curious cows thinking I'd stolen one of their gang, hence my fear was tripled over the 15 years I had him walking with me. Alas no longer with us, I now had this other new dog and was unsure how cows would react to him and him to them, remember he's chased sheep recently. I decided he would always be on the lead when we went anywhere near animals until I knew him better, this left me vulnerable if the cows liked the look of him and wanted to come over. Advice is to let the dog go if you are chased, I wasn't sure I could do that. Anyhow a stroke of amazing good luck, there are very few cows along the Ridgeway, in fact we came across only 2 different herds, one we easily managed to avoid as they were at the other end of the field. The second lot was more difficult, a huge herd bang in the middle of the field we had to cross. On entering this particular field of cows I could see the way marker and kissing gate directly opposite me and beyond the mad staring eyes of Patch and buddies in the middle of the field. Patch is the name I give to the scariest cow in the herd, the one that has a black patch over one eye and makes it known with its killer stare that you've been spotted as soon as you enter the field. Practically choking the pup with the shortest lead possible we detoured round the edge of the field at speed (walking fast, stooping low and avoiding eye contact), all the time observing with military precision all parts of the fence that we could hurl ourselves over in an emergency. We made it to the kissing gate and with sudden lack of dexterity and jelly like fingers we eventually managed to get the gate open and dived through it to safety. Patch and his cronies didn't move an inch and continued to chew the cud waiting for the next fools to pass by. As well as cows there were sheep, chickens, squirrels, pheasants, the odd deer, birds (red kites everywhere) and lots more including horses. This area has a lot of Gallops, this was something I'd not seen before, it's fields with brushwood hurdles for training race horses, the area has many racing stables and most famously the gallops at Lambourn Downs next to the Ridgeway. In fact the Ridgeway in many places is a Byway, meaning it is open to cyclists and horse riders as well as walkers. I walked the Ridgeway at the end of June, it was on the whole really quiet, I saw few people besides the stone hugger, Grim the jogger and a few others, not sure if it is busier at other times. I did bump into one lady out walking her dogs, she told me she had lived on the Ridgeway for many years and in recent years she had seen less and less people completing the trail, she thought it may be because people had started walking abroad. As our dogs played together we chatted about this and that, then she told me she had lost one of her own dogs the day before, it was ill and had to be put to sleep, the lady cried, I knew just how she felt I'd done exactly the same things a few a months before, a few days after I lost Barney and cried on the first person I saw out on my walk. I comforted her and told her about Barney and we cried together for a brief moment. Eventually we went our separate ways, I didn't ask her name, she didn't ask mine and we'll never meet again but it was one of those moments in time when out of the blue you are able to share something special and find comfort in a total stranger. Later in my walk I felt I needed to give a different stranger a very wide berth. I was pottering along in the sound of nature when I suddenly heard music, as I proceeded it got louder and I could make out that it was some kind of dance music, it seemed odd as there was no housing for miles just fields and tracks. As I turned a corner I saw a large vehicle, it looked like a large mobile home but the whole back end was open like it had been cut open with a tin opener and was now a platform at the back. On the platform was various furniture including a settee and an old tin bath. All around the van were trinkets and boxes of stuff, the music was very loud now and there was odours and a tinge of smoke coming from the van, but I couldn't see in past the beaded curtain spread across the opening. It resembled a den of iniquity and thought it best to sneak past unnoticed, but then the pup started barking at the van, I hurried on not wanting to disturb whoever was inside and briefly wondered what I'd do if someone came out and invited me in, alas they didn't do so that particular story never happened. All in all this walk was fabulous. There's loads more to enjoy than I've talked about here and I'd definitely recommend people to do it. The Ridgeway is fairly low level and without the heat and a young pup you could if you’re a seasoned walker do more mileage and complete it within a week. I'd recommend booking accommodation along the way or as you go, although you'd need to plan that carefully as some parts are quite remote and it would mean extra walking into the villages to get to accommodation. You could probably wild camp quite easily although it's illegal - but maybe avoid Grim's Ditch unless you are one of those ghost hunter people! On a personal level I feel my confidence has grown and that whilst not always wanting to do things alone I know now that I can and at the same time enjoy it as well. Of course having the pup means I'm not really alone, a dog makes you feel safe, makes you laugh, keeps you company and can be the thing that gets you chatting to other walkers. Also having a taxi service (Simon Preston) to pick me up and drop me off also meant I wasn't alone and didn't have the hassle of carrying all my stuff with me or massaging my own weary feet. On a practical level as the walk can be remote supplies are essentials as there's no local Mickey D's or Ice cream van. I put glucose tabs in my drinks and took lots of drinks for me and the pup. A sandwich suffices but I also took bananas and malt loaf to snack on and obviously the puppy needed food which he supplemented with his own snacks of sheep poo and discarded tissues. As I was on my own I made sure my phone was charged and took a power pack to top up the charge if it ran low, this proved a god send one day when Simon couldn't find me and I needed to give him extra information and my phone ran out of charge, without the extra power I would have been unable to direct him to me. Walking gear, well it was 30 degrees, whilst a bikini would have been nice I opted for shorts, t-shirts, walking boots and a hat. I had a jacket in my pack but didn't get it out once in the 10 days of walking. Confession - I wore the same shorts everyday as they were so comfortable and had big pockets. I also just whipped my shorts down without a care when I needed a pee, no point in finding a bush as no one was around! And finally maps, although the Ridgeway is really well signposted there were still a couple of occasions where it wasn't clear and I had to work things out. Having the trail guidebook was good as well as they give you lots of extra information and things to look out for along the route which you might otherwise miss. So special thanks go to Simon Preston for all the encouragement as well as nightly foot massages, endless cups of tea and being able to actually find me up tracks in the middle of nowhere. Thanks too to my pup for being the best friend and showing me what a great walking companion he is going to make. And thoughts to my beautiful Barney who was missed every day of the walk, but who gave me my previous 15 years of walking adventures and good times. Without these my horizon of possibilities would be less.

'A horizon of possibilities means the entire spectrum of beliefs, practices and experiences that are open before a particular society, given its ecological, technological and cultural limitations. Each society and each individual usually explores only a tiny fraction of their horizons of possibilities' Sapiens - A Brief History of Humankind, Yuval Noah Harari.

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