#but i’m not doing that am i? i’m staying with YOU. my FAMILY
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Dig That Crazy Santa Claus
Russell Shaw x reader
A Tuesday's Gone Christmas drabble
Summary: Your daughter may have uncovered her dad's greatest secret ever.
Warnings: none
A/N: Surprise, haha! I couldn’t resist — I had to write a little drabble about their first Christmas together. Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to all of you!
Wordcount: 810
The house was dressed for the holidays in all its mismatched glory. The tree leaned a bit too far to the left, decked with candy canes and glittery, uneven ornaments. But it was perfect, because this was your first Christmas as a family of three, and you had gone all out: stockings hung by the fireplace, wreaths everywhere, and enough gingerbread to open your own shop.
Yet, instead of the excited squeals you’d been expecting from a five-year-old, there was… silence.
Emma sat on the couch, arms crossed and lips pursed in a pout that could rival the Grinch.
“What’s wrong, bug?” Russell asked after noticing her little frown. His tone was light, but his brow was furrowed with concern. “You look like someone just canceled Christmas.”
“No one canceled anything” Emma mumbled, staring daggers at the floor.
You and Russell exchanged puzzled looks. Emma wasn’t usually subtle when upset. She was more of a dramatic-foot-stomping, full-volume protest kind of kid. This… this was new.
“Sweetheart” you tried, sitting down beside her and gently brushing her hair back. “Whatever’s bothering you, you can tell us. Did Misha eat your gingerbread man? Did Daddy burn the cinnamon rolls again?”
Russell shot you a playful glare but stayed focused on the scowling little girl. But Emma’s pout just deepened and gave you no reply.
“Okay, we’re going to need reinforcements” Russell muttered, plopping down on her other side. “Em, I’ll trade you a cookie for the truth… two cookies.”
Emma huffed but didn’t take the bait.
“Three cookies” Russell tried, wiggling his brows.
Nothing.
“Alright, we’re getting desperate here” he sighed. “I can give you four cookies, but that’s my final–’
She glared at him, her cheeks puffing with frustration. Finally, she burst out, cutting him off, “I saw Santa’s clothes!”
Both you and Russell blinked in unison.
“Santa’s clothes?” you repeated.
“In your room! Hanging with Daddy’s stuff!” Emma exclaimed, her voice quivering with the sheer weight of her discovery. “You’ve been lying to me! Santa’s not real!”
Russell’s eyes widened, and then, like a true master of improvisation, he leaned back with a dramatic gasp. “Emma Grace, do you know what you’ve just done?”
Uh-oh. He broke out the full name.
“What?” she asked, her pout faltering slightly.
“You’ve stumbled upon the biggest secret in the whole world.”
Her frown faltered, curiosity creeping into her expression.
“What secret?”
Russell leaned in close, lowering his voice like they were co-conspirators. “What I’m about to tell you is top-secret. You can’t tell anyone, not even your little school friends, ‘kay?”
Emma nodded solemnly, her earlier betrayal temporarily forgotten.
Russell leaned a bit closer, and whispered, “The truth is… I am Santa.”
Emma’s mouth dropped open. “No, you’re not!”
“Think about it” Russell said, tapping her temple. “Have you ever seen Santa and me in the same room?”
Emma squinted suspiciously. “...No.”
“And how do you think all those presents get here every year? Magic? Nah, it’s hard work, bug. I’ve got a sleigh parked in a top-secret location, and those reindeer? They’re on a strict carrot diet.”
You pressed your lips together, trying not to laugh at his earnest delivery.
“But… you don’t have white beard!” Emma challenged, crossing her arms.
“Ah” Russell said, stroking his dark stubbled chin. “That’s my disguise. Can’t have people recognizing me at the grocery store, can I? Imagine the chaos.”
Her eyes narrowed, but she was intrigued now, her earlier anger melting into suspicion laced with wonder.
“If you’re Santa…” she started. ”Why do you live here and not at the North Pole?”
“Budget cuts” he said solemnly, earning a stifled laugh from you. “And between us, your mom’s cookies? Way better than the elves’. They get jealous, but I don’t care.”
That finally got a giggle out of her. “You’re just making this up!”
“Am I?” he countered, raising a brow. “Now, you cannot tell anyone, not even your friends. If word gets out, it’ll blow my cover. Deal?”
Emma hesitated, then slowly extended her pinky. Russell hooked his pinky with hers, sealing the pact.
“So… you’re really Santa?” she whispered, eyes sparkling with childlike excitement now.
“The one and only.” Russell nodded gravely.
Later that evening, as she cuddled up between the two of you in front of the fireplace, a mug of hot cocoa in front of her on the coffee table, Emma glanced up at Russell.
“If you’re Santa, can I ride in your sleigh someday?”
He grinned, ruffling her hair. “Sorry, kid. Only bad ones stay up that late. And you don’t wanna get on the naughty list, do ya?”
She shook her head and snuggled closer to him.
As Emma drifted off to sleep, her head resting against Russell’s arm, you leaned over with a soft smile. “Santa, huh?”
Russell shrugged, looking entirely pleased with himself. “What can I say? I’m a man of many hats. And apparently, one big red suit.”
I hope you enjoyed this little holiday treat, haha! Wishing you all a wonderful day and the happiest of holidays, loves!
xx Pam
🤍Taglist🤍
@bitchykittenconnoisseur @smoothdogsgirl @spnfamily-j2 @winchesterwild78 @deans-spinster-witch @deans-baby-momma @zepskies @kr804573 @sebastianstangirl01 @kmc1989 @drakelover78 @amberlthomas @lomlbuckybarnes @n-o-p-e-never @roseblue373
#russell shaw x reader#russell shaw fanfiction#russell shaw x you#tracker fanfiction#Tuesday's Gone#jensen ackles#jensen ackles x reader#jensen ackles fanfiction#russell shaw#tracker cbs#merry christmas#happy holidays
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lestappen forced fem + humiliation
(love u, families r weird)
some lestappen forced feminization + humilitation for you for christmas (hopefully it's still christmas where you are!!) (for the kink prompt asks)
“God,” Charles murmurs, tracing a finger over the edge of Max’s panties, marveling at the acres of Max’s pale skin, the matching bra and panties Charles picked out for him highlighting his soft curves. “You’re so pretty.”
Max whimpers, squirming on the bed, but he glares up at Charles. “Shut the fuck up, Charles.”
“Max,” Charles says, smiling indulgently. “Why would you wear such pretty things if you did not want me to call you pretty?”
Max flushes, his face going a gorgeous, indignant pink. “You made me wear them.”
Charles rolls his eyes. He hadn’t made Max do anything. He’d ordered the lingerie online and had it shipped to Max’s apartment, told Max that if he wanted Charles to fuck him again, he’d have to wear it, make himself all pretty and sweet for Charles.
And here Max is, laid out in bed, dressed in nothing but a lacy bra and panties, still acting like he doesn’t want any of this. They both know it’s a lie. Charles can see Max's sweet little cock through the lace, the way the fabric’s starting to stick to him from how much he’s leaking. Max has trouble getting hard but Charles doesn’t care, loves the way Max is always small and soft and pink for him, so easy to fit in his mouth. Plus, Max never has any trouble coming and Charles can’t get over how wet Max always gets. Like a girl, Charles thinks, a flash of heat rushing through him.
“I think you like this,” Charles says softly, trailing his finger up to Max’s cock, dragging over the wet spot on the fabric. “Look how wet you are.”
“I’m not wet,” Max snaps, but Charles notices the hitch in Max’s breathing, the way the flush is starting to spread down his neck.
“No?” Charles brings his finger to his mouth, sucking the taste of Max off it.
Max lets out a desperate moan but he clamps his jaw shut, turning his head away to stare at the wall.
Charles doesn’t understand why Max can’t let himself have this. Why Max can’t see how much he wants Charles to treat him like a pretty girl Charles has brought home to fuck—play with his tits, eat him out, make him fall apart on Charles’s cock.
Charles bends down, pressing a soft kiss to Max’s stomach. He trails a line of them down Max’s belly, watches as Max’s breathing stutters as Charles gets closer and closer to the waistband of his panties.
But Charles stays just above the waistband, brushing his lips back and forth over the soft skin of Max’s stomach, watching as Max starts to squirm, hands clenching into fists by his side like he’s trying to stop himself from grabbing Charles’s hair and dragging Charles to his cock.
When Charles starts sucking a mark into Max’s stomach, Max moans, hips hitching.
Charles pulls off, smirking. “Ask me, Max.”
Max lets out a choked whimper, tilting his head to look at Charles with a desperate expression.
“Ask me,” Charles repeats.
Max whimpers again, but he glares at Charles and says, “Suck my cock,” in a bossy little tone. The same tone Max uses on the radio sometimes, the tone that makes Charles want to put Max over his knee.
Charles snorts. “You won’t get anywhere with that.” He goes back to sucking bruises into Max’s skin, leaving little marks of himself. Reminding Max exactly who owns him.
“Suck my cock, please,” Max tries.
“Better,” Charles says. “But I do not think cock is the word I am looking for.”
Max moans, squeezing his eyes shut. “Suck my—” Max breaks off, taking a shaky breath. Finally, he says, voice so soft it’s almost a whisper, “Suck my clit, please.”
“Fuck,” Charles groans, planting a soft kiss to Max’s skin, right above the waistband of his panties. “Good girl,” he breathes, right against Max’s spit-slick skin.
Max keens, tipping his head against the pillows, back arching off the bed, shoving his little cock toward Charles’s mouth.
“Charles,” Max pleads, squirming against the sheets. “Charles, please, I don’t—Charles.”
Charles just laughs softly and tugs Max’s panties down in his legs.
“Oh my god,” Charles breathes, staring in shock at the smooth, pink skin around Max’s dick and balls. “You shaved.”
Max whimpers, clearly humiliated, but he spreads his legs a bit, showing off his hole, as hairless as the rest of him. “I waxed,” Max whispers. “Went to—found a woman who could come to my flat, no one—no one saw.”
“Fuck,” Charles moans, bringing a hand up to brush over the soft skin above Max’s cock. “God, Max.” Charles can’t stop touching him, watching the way his mostly-soft cock blurts more pre-come with every pass of Charles’s thumb, like just the promise of Charles’s touch is enough to have Max making a mess of himself. “You did this for me?” Charles asks.
Max makes a devastated noise and flings an arm over his eyes, like he can’t bear to look at himself, at Charles. But he nods, once.
Charles feels like the wind’s been knocked out of him. The thought of Max laying on his back, letting someone wax his dick, his balls, his hole, all so he could look pretty for Charles.
“Such a good girl, Max,” Charles says, voice strained, and before Max can say anything more, Charles is shuffling down the bed and sprawling on his stomach, sucking Max’s cock into his mouth.
Max cries out like he’s been shocked, body twisting against the sheets like the feeling’s too much, like he’s trying to escape the pleasure he feels. Charles just throws an arm over Max’s stomach, pressing him down against the bed.
Charles moans around Max’s cock, sucking and licking, whining at the taste of Max’s pre-come flooding his mouth. When Charles swirls his tongue over the head, Max gasps Charles’s name and lets the arm covering his eyes drop to the bed, staring down at Charles with an awed expression.
Charles pulls off, just enough to ask, “Do you like watching me lick your pretty clit, Max?”
“Yes,” Max whimpers, flushing pink down to his stomach. “Yes, I—please.”
Heat flares in Charles’s belly hearing Max admit he likes it, admit he likes it enough that he wants to watch, wants to see exactly what Charles is doing to him.
“Good girl,” Charles murmurs, ducking down to drag his tongue over Max.
It doesn’t take long before Max is squirming and whining, babbling about how good Charles’s mouth feels, how Charles is going to make him come. Max always fights Charles on the way down, but the second he’s under it’s like he can’t think about anything other than how good he feels, desperate to chase every ounce of pleasure. When Charles brings a hand up to press against the plug in Max’s ass, the one Charles had told him to put in before Charles arrived, Max comes with a shocked moan, his mostly soft dick spilling lazy ropes of come into Charles’s mouth, Max trembling and whining above him, letting out little gasps of Charles’s name.
Charles tugs the plug free the moment Max is done coming, sitting up and shuffling forward to drag the head of his cock around Max’s hole, teasing but never pressing in.
“Please, Charles,” Max moans, bringing a hand up to play with his nipple through his bra. “Want you to.”
“What, Max?” Charles murmurs, staring at where his cock is pressing against Max’s rim, already puffy and open. Charles wonders how long Max had the plug in, whether he was sitting around his flat with it in, imagining Charles filling him.
“Fuck me,” Max whimpers, looking up at Charles with an agonized expression.
Charles presses against Max’s hole, making Max feel the threat of him. “Where do you want my cock, Max?”
Max moans, little dick twitching, spilling more pre-come. “In my arse.”
“Cute,” Charles says, mocking, and slaps the inside of Max’s thigh, hard enough to sting. “Where do you want my cock?”
Max whimpers, hand squeezing roughly at his tit, cock desperately trying to harden. “In my pussy.”
“Fuck,” Charles moans, pushing in in one, smooth slide. “That’s it, baby. Good girl.”
“Charles,” Max gasps, going so tight around Charles that Charles has to squeeze his eyes shut to keep from coming immediately.
When Charles finally has himself under control, he laughs. “God, Max.” He starts to move, pushing little panting breaths out of Max with each thrust of his hips. “I always forget how tight your pussy is.”
“Fucking—Charles,” Max moans, bringing both hands up to squeeze and pinch at his tits, his soft dick bouncing with each thrust of Charles’s hips.
“That’s it, baby,” Charles murmurs. “Play with your tits for me.”
Max turns his face to the side, trying to hide against the pillow, but he listens, pinching and rubbing his nipples through the lace.
“God, Max,” Charles moans, fucking Max hard and deep, grinding against Max’s prostate. “You were made for this.”
Max moans and Charles thinks he’ll whimper, nod, say something like, Yes, Charles, made to take your cock.
But Max glares up at Charles, clearly still not as down as Charles would like him to be, and says, “I’m not—”
“No?” Charles asks. “Look at yourself, Max.”
Max whimpers, shakes his head, even as he grinds back to meet Charles’s thrusts.
“Oh, you think you should be the one doing the fucking?” Charles lets out a short laugh, mean and mocking. “Look at this, Max.” Charles reaches down, cupping Max’s dick. It fits easily in his palm, covered completely. “It’s not even really a dick, is it?”
Max makes a miserable sound, dick blurting against Charles’s fingers, but he says, “I’m not—I’m not a girl.”
Charles smirks, rubbing his palm in steady circles over the head of Max’s dick. “No?” Charles asks. “Then why do you come like one?”
Max’s mouth drops open in a perfect little o, eyes going wide, and his dick squirts against Charles’s hand, rim fluttering rapidly around Charles’s cock.
“God, Max,” Charles moans, stunned, awed, keeping up the steady circles over Max’s dick, fucking him through his orgasm.
“Charles,” Max moans, half-whine, half-scream. “Charles, I can’t—" Max breaks off on a whimper as another wave runs through him.
“Good girl,” Charles murmurs, working Max through it, watching Max gasp and whine on his cock, Max’s perfect tits bouncing, Max’s little dick twitching and spurting against Charles’s hand. “My good girl,” Charles breathes.
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jingle bells !!! leehan ft baby it's cold outside ? 😗 tysm !!!!
christmas song fic!🎄
now playing… baby it’s cold outside by ella fitzgerald and louis jourdan
a/n - this isn’t how the song fic requests work but i couldnt resist completing it anyway😁😁
23:15 - “god,” you suddenly gasped, looking at the time as leehan left you alone to grab some more snacks from the kitchen, “i need to go.”
he arrived in his bedroom door, snacks in hand and a disappointed look on his face.
“no!”
you laughed, “i’m sorry, baby, but it’s christmas eve eve! family plans all start tomorrow, it’s just better to get home now.”
leehan watched you get up, waltzing about the room to collect your belongings, he grabbed your arm as you did so, pulling you to his chest.
“donghyun,” you chuckled against his lips.
he pressed soft kisses continuously against your lips, laughing softly against them.
“you taste so good,” he mumbled, as you laughed, finally pulling away from his body.
“i’m serious, leehan,” you whined, pulling on your jumper and packing your belongings into your bag, “my entire family arrived tonight, they’re gonna wonder where i am.”
he sat on the bed with a pout on his face, sighing dramatically. “it’s so cold!” he exclaimed, a last resort as he saw you putting your bag on your shoulder.
“seriously?” you chuckled, looking back to him.
he got off the bed, holding onto your upper arms, inspecting your face with a serious gaze, “you’re gonna freeze! seriously you only have this flimsy coat?!”
“well it was a lot earlier, and a lot warmer when i first arrived,” you shrugged, “i’m fine, donghyun. i’m getting a bus anyway, it’ll be warm on there.”
he cocked his head, hissing in deliberation, “no. this won’t do.” he announced suddenly, taking your hand and dragging you out to the communal wardrobe in the living room of the dorm. he studied the racks, sighing, “no, looks like we don’t have any warm clothes, either. what a shame! i guess you’ll have to stay—”
woonhak looked up from his phone, “oh, y/n can use my scarf if they want—”
“no!” leehan exclaimed, trying to drag you back to his bedroom.
you laughed, pulling him to you, “baby, i have to go. i’m sorry.”
leehan sighed, pouting as he placed his hands on your jaw, “serious?”
you nodded, a pitiful look in your eyes, “i’m sorry.”
“okay,” he sighed, “at least let me wrap you up, i’m serious it’s cold out there.”
you smiled, “okay. thank you, my love.”
he took his own hoodie off the rack, taking off your coat and pulling it over your head, letting you dress yourself back in your coat and bag before wrapping a scarf around your face, handing over gloves and a hat too.
“donghyun!”
“just to be safe,” he laughed, watching you adjust before moving over to the door, “okay get home safe.” you nodded pitifully, hands on your boyfriend’s waist as he kissed you slowly. “let me know when you get home.” you let go, waving goodbye as you opened the door. “bye bye, my love. have a good christmas. good bye…”
he closed the door with a click behind you, sighing and turning to join his friends on the sofa.
“simp,” the younger boy said, jaehyun laughing from where he lay across the back, head on woonhak’s shoulder.
“shut up,” leehan laughed, shaking his head as he switched on the tv, surfing through the channels with a sigh.
suddenly, the door.
he looked at the boys, who both shrugged. he leaped up, swinging open the door with a wide smile as he saw you, wrapped up in layers on layers, a coy smile hidden underneath the scarf.
“it’s super cold,” you chuckled, “like… the buses are cancelled it’s so cold.”
leehan laughed, tutting, “that’s unfortunate.”
you giggled, nodding, “isn’t it just?”
#🏠 who’s there?#boynextdoor#bnd#bnd x reader#boynextdoor blurb#boynextdoor x reader#bnd blurb#bnd fanfic#bnd imagine#boynextdoor fanfic#boynextdoor imagine#boynextdoor fluff#bnd fluff#kim leehan blurb#kim leehan imagine#kim leehan fanfic#kim leehan fluff#kim leehan x reader#kim leehan#leehan🪸🐠#gender neutral reader#song fic ♫₊˚.✩。#christmas song fic🎁
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Hiii!! I have a Melissa x reader request because I just lived for the newest episodes. (We shall ignore the firefighter’s existence for the sake of my idea.)
It’s set when Melissa is just focused on hosting the Schemmenti Christmas Eve dinner and reader is just trying to get her to relax like while she’s cooking, she’ll hug her from behind or give her little pep talks. But Melissa’s cooking isn’t the only thing she’s worried about. All this time her family has been asking of when she’s finally gonna tie someone down and Melissa always dismisses them. But this dinner, she hinted at finally finding someone, never disclosing the gender. She hasn’t told her family about r for obvious reasons but Melissa thought it was time r finally met them. Once everyone arrives, Melissa would finally introduce r as her girlfriend. But Melissa panics after one of her family members makes a homophobic comment towards Jacob and says that r is simply a friend who had nowhere to go for Christmas Eve. After having a private talk with Melissa, r understands her situation and is fine with holding off on telling her family. During the dinner, everyone stills hounds Melissa about when she’s gonna find a husband. Seeing r hurt by these comments, Melissa finally tells them that she has found someone and reaches for r. Obviously, everyone’s shocked (aside from Jacob, Caleb, and Barbra) but they all agreed to decide to put their differences aside as they loved Melissa more than their homophobia and due to the fact that she was able to cook good food without having a man. I really can’t think of an ending, but I hope you still consider my request :)
Hi Anon and thank you for the request! I wasn’t going to do Melissa prompts until the new year but this was a Christmas one so why not? I would have had this out a couple days ago but I had 3 Christmas parties to attend (big families). Anyway I am working on my last 2 Chessy prompts and should be out soon! I’m all for ignoring the firefighters existence so I was more than happy to write this. Not edited in the slightest and I hope you like it!
On another note: Thank you for all the love and support you’ve given me for all my crazy fics! Consider this a late Christmas gift from me or a gift for whatever holiday you celebrate and a have a happy New Year! 🥳
Her Friend Named Y/n
Warnings: Melissa’s family being stronzos, slight homophobia and racism
Words: 3k
“Melissa, relax. You’ve been making this food for the past 2 weeks and they’re gonna love it.” You tell her and then she gets you to taste test something else. “Amazing like always. Everything you get me to taste test is to die for.” You tell her and she smiles and then goes back to cooking.” You go up to her from behind and wrap your arms around her waist. You feel her lean into your touch for a second then she goes back to cooking.
“Y/n, unless you want to get burnt by the stove then I suggest you move your hands.” She says to you and you pull away from her but stay close by.
“Melissa, you need to relax, your family is gonna love it.” You tell her and she glances at you.
“You know my cooking is not the only thing I’m worried about Y/n.” She tells you and you sigh.
“I know but I’ll turn on my charm and I’ll get them to love me before telling them we’re together.” You say and she rolls her eyes.
“What charm?” She teases with a smile.
“The one that I got you with.” You counter quickly and she snorts.
“If I recall, you were clumsy around me, both physically and verbally.” She tells you and you run your fingers through her hair.
“Because how could someone act normal around you? You’re smoking hot and incredibly smart.” You say and she gives you a kiss.
“I really hope they love you, because I do.” She smiles at you before going back to cooking. You then both hear the doorbell ring and then Melissa goes to go get it and you follow after her.
“Jeez, are we early? Why aren’t you dressed yet?” Kriste Marie tells her and you see Melissa’s unimpressed face.
“It’s nice to see you too, sis.” Melissa tells her and then pats her partner’s back. “Dom.” She adds and then closes the door.
You go back into the kitchen with her and you see her continuing to cook.
“Are you going to be ok in here?” You ask her and she nods.
“Ya I’ll be fine, just gotta finish the cooking.” She tells you and then you hear the doorbell ring and Jacob goes to open it.
“Alright, I’ll go introduce myself to everyone.” You tell her and she nods.
“Go charm my family then.” She says and you give her another kiss before going to the living room. From the pictures she showed you, you instantly recognise her brother Seamus and her mom Teresa.
“Hello.” Jacob tells them and then they look around before their eyes land on you and Caleb.
“Who are you two?” Seamus asks.
“I’m Y/n, a friend of Melissa’s.” You say and hold out a hand to shake.
“I’m Caleb, Jacob’s brother, Melissa invited me. Pleasure to meet you both.” He says and then shakes their hands.
“I’m Seamus, Melissa’s youngest brother.” He says and shakes both of your hands.
“I’m Teresa, Melissa’s mother.” She says and doesn’t shake either of your hands. You and Caleb both put your hands down quickly after realizing and then don’t know what to do.
“May I take your coats?” Jacob offers and they give him their coats and then he runs upstairs.
“Well hello honey.” Teresa says and you turn around to see Melissa.
“Hi Ma.” Melissa says and then hugs her. “Y/n, do you mind coming into the kitchen with me please?” She asks you and you nod before following her.
“Melissa what’s wrong?” You ask her once you reach the kitchen.
“That’s my mom out there.” She says and you nod. “If she doesn’t like you then that’s not good for us. You know I love my family but they have cut people off if they don’t like their partner.” She tells you.
“Oh, so if your mom doesn’t like me then we can’t be together.” You say and she looks at you.
“If she doesn’t like you then I don’t know who to choose. Also no one in my family is gay or bisexual, at least that I know of.” She tells you and then she starts stressing out.
“Ok, Melissa, that’s why we agreed that we’ll see what your family thinks about me before we tell them. Totally neutral opinion about me, no bias or anything.” You tell her and she nods.
“I know, I know.” She says and then the doorbell rings and you hear more people coming in. “Can you just stay with me in here for a few minutes and taste test more food?” She asks and you nod with a smile.
10 minutes later and you walk out to see about 10 people here and a couple kids run into the basement.
“There’s a lot of kids in that basement.” Jacob tells you when he sees you walk out.
“Well she already told us that most people have like 3 kids.” You tell him. “Who are all these people, do you know?” You ask him and he looks at everyone.
“That’s Uncle Archie, then that’s Kristen Marie, Dom Marie, Mark, Marie, Matthew. Then Maria Christina, Craig, girl Toni. Boy Tony is still in prison but apparently there’s a card going around for him to sign. Then there’s Larry, Anthony, Seamus. I think about 30 kids in the basement and then of course you’ve already met Mrs Teresa Schemmenti.” He tells you and you widen your eyes a bit at the amount of names he remembers. Everyone looks at you as they were all being introduced to you and you gulp.
“Hi everyone, I’m Y/n, Melissa’s friend.” You tell them all and they all nod then go back to their conversations. Just then Melissa comes out with some more food.
“Honey, you’re trying something different with your makeup? You’re so brave.” Teresa tells her and Melissa sighs.
“Thanks Ma.” Melissa tells her.
“I love visiting you Mel.” Anthony tells her. “Something about being around you really makes me feel better about myself.” He says and Melissa rolls her eyes.
“And that’s why I love having you, Anthony.” Melissa tells him and you smile.
“Marie, did this place get smaller?” Uncle Archie asks Melissa.
“I’m Melissa, and no, my place did not magically shrink.”
“Ah, I guess you just got bigger then.” He says and then laughs.
“Archie, what would she need a bigger place for?” Teresa says. “She lives with a roommate, unmarried and alone.” She adds and Melissa nods her head, knowing the subject will come up.
“Yeah?”
“You’re so insensitive.” Teresa tells him.
“Me?”
“Yes.”
“Why?” Uncle Archie asks and then the doorbell rings. Melissa goes to get in and then you see Barb and Gerald there and Melissa says hi to them. You walk up to them and give them a hug hello. “Ah. Nobody told me this would be one of those progressive parties.” Archie says and you both turn to look at him.
“Do you want to get strangled?” Melissa says and then Jacob cuts in and Archie goes to take a nap upstairs. Jacob then introduces everyone to Barb and Gerald.
“You forgot Nancy and Dorothy.” Archie says from the stairs.
“There’s nobody here named Nancy or Dorothy.” Jacob tells him.
“I was talking about you, Y/n and your boyfriend.” He says and laughs.
“Ok normally I respect my elders but this guy.” Caleb says and you and Melissa hold him back.
“Archie, Y/n is not gay. Just one of Melissa’s friends that had nowhere to go for Christmas Eve.” Teresa says and you look at Melissa. “Melissa, you seem to have forgotten to tell us that you invited a gay man and black people here.” Teresa tells her daughter and Melissa sighs.
“I didn’t think it would matter as it’s my place and they’re my friends.” Melissa tells her mom.
“Y/n, you seem so young and beautiful. Why haven’t you been able to land a man and be with his family for Christmas?” Teresa asks you and Melissa groans. “Melissa, can I not ask your friend a question? Also didn’t you say that you might have found a man?” Teresa asks her.
“I need to talk to Y/n for a moment alone.” Melissa says and then storms into the kitchen. You follow her and then she turns around to look at you. “I think we should hold off on introducing you as my girlfriend.” She tells you and you look at her confused.
“Why? I thought you were excited to finally introduce me to them?” You ask her and holds your hand.
“I am, I was. But I don’t know how they’ll react to me having a girlfriend instead of a boyfriend. You heard my Ma in there. She thinks you should be with a man instead because you’re young and beautiful and didn’t defend Jacob when her brother called him Nancy.” She tells you and you can tell she’s scared.
“Alright, it’s ok Melissa. We can hold off until you’re absolutely ready.” You tell her and she looks at you and smiles.
“Thank you.” She says and gives you a hug.
“Is everything ready? Gerald and a few other people are wondering about that.” Barb says as she enters the kitchen.
“Ah, ya, just a couple more minutes.” Melissa tells her and looks over at the food on the stove.
“Is everything alright?” She says as she senses some tension.
“We’re holding off on introducing me as her girlfriend.” You tell Barb and she looks at you and Melissa.
“Why?”
“Because I don’t think my family is gonna respond well to me having a girlfriend instead of a boyfriend.” Melissa tells her and Barb nods. “Alright food is ready. Do you guys mind helping me bring it out?” Melissa asks and you both nod and help her.
All 3 of you bring food out and everyone gathers around the table and takes a seat. They all begin to start putting food on their plates and you take a seat beside Melissa and Barb sits down on the other side of you for support.
“So Melissa, where is this man you were hinting at?” Teresa asks her and Melissa sighs.
“We haven’t been going out long enough to introduce them to my family.” Is all Melissa says to try and close the topic.
“What happened with that Gary?” Kristen Marie asks.
“He proposed and I said no, then we broke up.” Melissa tells her.
“Why’d you say no? You need a man to be with.” Teresa says and you look down at your plate. You then feel Barb grab your hand and you look at her and give her a grateful smile. Melissa sees the interaction between you and Barb and she sighs.
“I just didn’t want to marry him, can that be the end of the discussion?” Melissa tries to shut it down again.
“I’m just saying that you can’t be picky and we all liked him.” Teresa says and Melissa sees that you're hurt by this discussion and it breaks her heart seeing you hurt.
“What if she lied about finding a man?” Kristen Marie says to her mom and Teresa looks at Melissa.
“Did you or did you not find someone?” Teresa asks.
“I did find someone, I’m not lying about that.” Melissa says, annoyed at her family.
“I can’t believe you let Joe go. He was good, he was good for you and he was a firefighter.” Teresa says.
“I almost forgot about Joe.” Seamus says and Melissa puts her head in her hands. “Why did you divorce again?”
“Because we fell out of love.” She simply says. “But we’re still friends.” She adds and they all give her a confused look.
“Look, all I’m saying is that you need a man in your life, and I want to meet the man that you found.” Teresa tells her daughter and Melissa looks at her mom.
“What if it’s not a man?” She suddenly says and you look at her.
“Well what else would it be?” Teresa says and Kristen Marie looks between you and Melissa. She sees the both of you keep looking at each other as well as you being hurt by the conversation.
“What if it’s a woman?” Melissa asks her mom and everyone looks at each other in disbelief before looking at Teresa or Melissa.
“You can’t be with a woman.” Teresa simply says.
“Why not?” Melissa challenges her mom.
“Because you’re not interested in other women, you’ve only been with men and everyone in this family is straight.” Teresa explains. “Now stop saying foolish things honey.” She adds and Melissa sees your eyes are starting to water.
“Excuse me, I’ll be right back.” You tell everyone and stand up.
“Wait Y/n.” Melissa says and stands up as you look at her. “I did find someone, and she’s right here.” She tells everyone and then wraps an arm around your waist. “Y/n is my girlfriend.” She confirms and everyone gasps and looks shocked except for her friends. “We’ve been together for 9 months and we love each other.” She adds and you look at everyone’s reactions.
“You can’t be serious?” Teresa says and you look down and Melissa sees your reaction.
“I think she is serious.” Kristen Marie says. “They’ve been glancing at each other the entire time and Y/n has been looking hurt about this conversation.” Kristen Marie adds.
“Thanks sis.” Melissa says and rolls her eyes. “It’s true, I’m not going to pretend that I’m with a man when it’s hurting my girlfriend just to please my family.” Melissa says proudly and you look at her. She smiles at you and gives you a quick kiss and then looks at her mom. “So all of youse can either accept it or leave.” She adds and you lay your head on her shoulder and wrap your arms around her.
“You know this food is really good.” Seamus says and everyone looks at him.
“I agree, I’m surprised she pulled this off. I guess I didn’t need to defrost the frutti di mare I had at home as a backup dinner for me and Dom.” Kristen Marie says.
“You know if this were a little less brochante.” Teresa starts but Anthony interrupts her.
“Ya, a little mushy.” He says but Teresa continues.
“Yeah, this could have almost passed the nonna Zoltini.” She says and you see Melissa practically beaming at the compliment. “No single woman can make food this good so I guess being with Y/n helped her make good food.” Teresa tells everyone and everyone thinks about it.
“I like Y/n, I met her 2 years ago at Pecsa.” Kristen Marie says and nods. “Melissa wasn’t keeping an eye on her though as I talked with her for a good hour.” She adds and Melissa looks at her sister then at you.
“You did what?” Melissa asks, a little angry.
“We just started being friends, plus I had no idea who she was.” You tell Melissa and you feel her hold tighten on you.
“I think we need an updated photo of me punching you in the face.” Melissa says.
“I’m saying I like your girlfriend.” Kristen Marie says. “I don’t know what she sees in you though.” She adds and you hold Melissa back as she wanted to start some violence with her sister.
“I like your girlfriend as well, a little shy. But I do love you Melissa, and if Y/n makes you happy and gets you to make good food, then I’ll accept the relationship.” Teresa tells her and Melissa smiles and nods at her mom.
“Thank you, I’ll go get the dessert.” She says and brings you into the kitchen with her. “Oh my god, that went really well. Not only did they love my cooking, they’re accepting of us being together.” She says and kisses you. Barb comes into the kitchen and you both pull apart.
“Sorry to interrupt but I just wanted to see how you’re both feeling.” Barb says with a smile.
“I’m very happy, my family is accepting my cooking and my girlfriend.” Melissa says with a huge smile.
“I still can’t believe you went right out and said that we’re together.” You tell her and she shrugs.
“All their comments were hurting you, I couldn’t just do nothing.” She says and you plant a kiss on her cheek.
“Thank you, I know I picked the right woman to love.” You say and she smiles before she gets the cannoli ready.
“Alright you stronzos, here’s the famous Schemmenti cannoli.” Melissa says as she comes out with the cannolis and everyone takes one.
Everyone eats all the cannolis and then digest for a bit before they start heading off.
“You got yourself a looker.” Kristen Marie tells her sister. “I don’t know how you managed to score that but apparently you did.” She says and Melissa smiles and wraps an arm around you.
“Yep, I got the girl of my dreams.” Melissa says and you smile at her.
“Goodbye.” Kristen Marie says and then leaves.
Melissa closes the door after Barb and Gerald leave and then lets out a breath. She takes a few steps and gives you a long hug and you feel all the tension she’s been holding for 2 weeks just leave her.
“I don’t know about you but I think that was a huge success.” Caleb says and Melissa pulls back and nods.
“One of the best nights ever.” She says while looking at you and you smile. “I think we should turn in a little early, what do you think?” She asks you and you nod while you both go upstairs.
“I know that look and tone. I hope you brought earphones Caleb, cause you’re gonna need them with our thin walls.” Jacob tells his brother and then Caleb looks at you both going up the stairs.
“Yep, neither of us are quiet.” You say and Melissa giggles.
“Come on you goof.” She says and then pulls you to the bedroom.
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Broken pt 2
Master List
Characters: Jensen x Reader (wife)
Warnings: fluff, angst, infertility, Endometriosis, death
A/N: Idea given to me by @cheekygirl2309. This one is a little different than what I usually write. It has angst, lots of angst to start, and infertility issues. It's going to be a short series.
Minors DNI 18+
The next morning I woke up with a text and email from Jensen with flight information. I quickly packed and headed to the airport. My flight was scheduled to leave in a few hours, but I had to get through security and check in.
I sent Jensen a text to let him know I was at the airport.
Me: I’m at the airport, waiting to board the plane. I can’t wait to see you. I love you baby.
Jensen: I can’t wait either. Y/N, I really am sorry for leaving you alone. I promise I’ll never do it again.
Me: I know baby. We both had fault in this, it’s not all on you. We will make it right. I love you, I’m about to board. I’ll see you at the airport.
Jensen: I love you too, baby. I’ll be there with bells on.
I smiled as I looked at my phone. The emotional rollercoaster of the last 24 hours has been a true test of mine and Jensen’s relationship. One we almost failed.
I sat on the plane and listened to music as we flew towards our destination. As the minutes ticked on I grew more anxious. This was the first time since our fight we would see each other.
The plane landed and I started walking towards the exit. I scanned the airport and the people standing around waiting for their loved ones, and I saw him. Jensen, my Jensen standing with a smile on his face and emerald eyes that glittered like morning dew.
My heart fluttered. In that moment, seeing him standing there waiting for me with so much love in his eyes reminded me why I fell in love with him. He was and always will be my home, the love of my life.
I smiled and ran through the crowd to his open arms. Our bodies collided as he scooped me up and held me tight. Our lips smashed onto each other and the kiss deep and needy, like it was the only thing giving us life at the moment.
Every person, every noise in the airport melted away. His arms wrapped securely around me and his lips breathing life into me, into our love.
All the pain and sorrow from the last few hours seemed to melt away. Sure, it was still there, but in that moment what really mattered was willingness to fight for us, for our marriage.
Leaving the airport hand in hand Jensen couldn’t take his eyes off of me, or me off of him. We had work to do, but at least we were together to work on it.
The next few days we settled into a routine. I would get up with Jensen, we would make breakfast together, he’d head to set and I’d either go with him or stay home, and when he got home we worked on us, on our marriage. The first night we made love after our fight we both cried. All the emotions, the pain, the hurt melted away and we fell in love all over again.
A renewed commitment to each other. We talked about having a baby, and we both agreed to let things happen naturally. Jensen also suggested while I was there we both visit a doctor to see if there’s any reason I couldn’t get pregnant.
I saw him trying, trying to fix what he, what we broke, and trying to make our dream of a family come true.
I went with Jensen to set today. Everyone was happy to see me. They said Jensen isn’t himself when I’m not around. I looked over at him and he smiled but blushed too.
“Alright guys, stop laying it on so thick. She doesn’t need to know what a sap she married.”
I giggled and touched his arm, “Oh Jensen, I already knew.” I smiled and kissed him.
Karl walked over and pulled me into a bear hug. “Glad to see ya, love. Hope you didn’t let him off the hook that easily.” I smirked, “You know I can’t resist his green eyes.”
“I know love. Glad you two are working it out. You two are good for each other and that man is head over heels in love with you.”
I smiled softly and looked over at Jensen bantering with the other cast members. I knew Karl was right. I’ve just been so wrapped up in not giving Jensen a child I lost sight of what we had. A home filled with love and joy and I have a husband who would move mountains to see me happy.
I smiled at Karl, “Thanks Karl. For everything.” He nodded, “I’ve got you love.”
I sat in a chair off to the side and watched Jensen in the scene. He was amazing in anything he did, but the way he played Soldier Boy was something profound. It’s like the character was made for him.
By the time the director called for a wrap for the day it was well past 1am and I was exhausted.
Everyone was talking about heading out to blow off some steam but Jensen was hesitant.
I touched his arm, “Jens, if I wasn’t here what would you do?” He looked at me and I could tell he was nervous.
“Babe, remember we need to talk about things. If you want to go then go. I’ll head back to the apartment and go to sleep. Please don’t stop living your life because I’m here. Baby, go. Go have fun. You deserve it.”
Jensen smiled and placed a soft kiss on my lips, “Are you sure you don’t want to come too. You know they’d love to have you.” I touched his chest, “Maybe next time.” I kissed him again.
We walked to his trailer so he could change and I grabbed my stuff. Jensen was riding with Karl and Antony, so Clif was driving me home.
I arrived at the apartment, showered, changed and crawled into bed. Sleep taking hold almost instantly.
Jensen came stumbling in about 4am. He was wasted. Karl was slightly drunk. They were trying to be quiet but they were so loud they woke me up.
“Hey Karl, I’m gonna have a baby with her.” I heard Jensen slur out as I walked down the hallway.
“That’s great mate. She’s gonna make some beautiful babies for you.”
“Yeah. I’m lucky. I thought we were gonna break up, man. I can’t get her pregnant and we got into a huge fight.”
I stepped into the living room just as Jensen was about to spill more about our recent fight.
“Alright boys, time for bed. Karl, you take the guest room, and you Mr Ackles go get in my bed.”
Jensen smirked, “Yes ma’am. Night Karl. I’m going to sleep with my wife. Maybe put a baby in her.”
I shot him a look as Karl erupted in laughter. “Good luck, mate.”
“Jensen, bed, now, and you too Karl. It’s too early in the morning to deal with this crap.”
Jensen stumbled to our room and passed out on the bed halfway through taking off his shoes. I chuckled when I saw him.
I removed his shoes, and jeans. Helped him get under the blankets and went to grab him some water and medicine to put by his bed.
As I passed the guest room Karl was sitting on the side of the bed. “Hey love. Sorry he’s so drunk. He got really upset at the bar. Said he was a failure because he couldn’t give you the one thing you wanted, a baby. Just thought you should know he’s torturing himself over this.” “I had no idea. I’m going to make it right. Thank you for letting me know.” “Of course. He loves you deeper than I’ve ever seen him love anyone. You’re it for him and he’d move mountains to make you happy.” “I know, Karl. I am incredibly lucky to have him and I’m so proud to be his wife. Night Karl.” “Night Y/N.”
I went back to our room and Jensen was asleep. Soft snores leaving his slightly parted lips.
Crawling into bed I snuggled close to him. He woke slightly and pulled me close. “I love you Y/N. I can’t wait to give you a baby. You deserve everything.”
“Shhh baby. Just sleep. We can talk about that later. I love you Jensen.”
I placed a soft kiss on his cheek and heard soft snores again. I chuckled softly and drifted back to sleep.
The next few weeks Jensen and I worked on our relationship. We both went to the doctor and he was given a clean bill of health. The doctor said I had endometriosis which caused scar tissue and would make it difficult, but not impossible to get pregnant. She said it would just take more time.
Leaving the doctor I felt so defeated. I stared out the window as a tear slipped out. Jensen looked over and saw my body language. He took my hand, “Hey. It’s okay. She didn’t say we couldn’t get pregnant, she said it would just take more time.”
“I know, Jensen. I just never thought it would be so difficult to have a baby. I’m so sorry, Jensen.” Tears fell fast and heavy. Jensen pulled the car over. He took my hand in his, and cupped my face with the other, “Shhh, baby don’t cry, please. We will figure this out. I promise baby. I’ll move mountains to make you happy.” “I know Jens.”
We drove the rest of the way home in silence. The doctor’s words replayed in my head. Once home I crawled in bed and just cried. Jensen came into the room and laid down beside me, pulling me close to him and holding me.
No words were spoken between us for the rest of the night, Jensen just held me. I felt so broken.
The next few days I tried to do research on endometriosis and pregnancy. Depending on the amount of scar tissue can affect the ability to get pregnant. There are numerous treatment options that include surgery and IVF.
Jensen was on set so I sent him a text.
Me: Hey baby just wanted to check in and tell you I’ve been doing some research. We have options and I can’t wait to talk to you about it. I’m sorry I’ve taken this so hard. I just wasn’t expecting to be told my body couldn’t do the one thing it was designed to do. I love you.
Jensen: Hey baby. Can’t chat long, back on set in a few. I understand why you’re upset. We will figure this out together. Whatever you need we will tackle it together. I love you sweetheart.
Me: I love you too Jens. I’ll talk to you tonight. I’m baking you a pie.
Jensen: I can’t wait.
A few hours later I had baked the pie, it was cooling on the stove and I had started cooking dinner. Jensen was due home in about an hour and I wanted dinner ready for him. He’d been putting in long hours on set, and helping me deal with the aftermath of the doctor appointment. He was definitely my rock.
I had just turned on the stove when the phone rang. Looking at the caller ID I saw my sister’s name.
“Hey sis. How are you?” I asked as I answered the phone. At first the line was silent. Then I heard her sob. “Hey, Abby, what’s wrong?”
“Y/N, it’s…dad…he’s gone.” The world around me went dark, every sound sounded like I was underwater. “What?” I stuttered out.
Abby took a shaky breath, “Dad, he died. He got into a car accident and died on impact.” I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. My dad, the first man I ever loved. The man who taught me how to dance, change a tire, how a husband and father should treat his family was gone.
I couldn’t breathe. My legs gave out and I collapsed to the floor. My body was shaking with the primal sobs that left my mouth. The sounds leaving my body were full of pain and anguish.
My body wouldn’t move from the floor. My phone was long forgotten, I didn’t know if Abby was still on the phone or not.
The only thing I could make out between the tears that left my shattered body was Jensen coming through the front door.
He took one look at me on the floor and bolted to my side. Grabbing me and pulling me into his arms, “Y/N, baby, what’s wrong? What happened?” I sobbed harder.
I couldn’t talk. He held me tighter. Jensen knew something terrible had happened. The only thing I could muster out was “daddy”. Jensen knew instantly something happened to my father.
Taking out his phone he called my mother. There was no answer, so he called Abby. “Abby, this is Jensen. I just got home and found Y/N on the floor, saying “daddy”, what happened, is your dad okay?”
Abby told him what happened and Jensen’s heart broke. He knew how close my father and I were. When we started dating my dad sat Jensen down and had a long talk with him. Before Jensen asked me to marry him, he got my dad’s permission, and daddy gave it to him after another long talk about what it meant to be a husband.
“Baby, I’ve got you. I know, sweetheart. I’m so sorry baby.” He helped me up, and carried me to our bed. Laying me down he pulled a blanket over me and curled beside me. “Shhh baby. I’m here. I’m not going anywhere. I’ve got you.”
I snuggled closer to him, my tears soaking his shirt, but being in his arms I felt safe. This loss hurt deeper than anything I’d ever experienced. Part of my soul was gone. One of the people responsible for my existence was now gone.
I was glad I had Jensen because I had no idea how to live my life, how to go on without my dad. Jensen softly kissed the top of my head as my crying started to subside.
“I love you, Y/N. I’m so sorry baby.” He pulled me closer. I looked up at him, my eyes puffy and swollen from crying, “I love you too, Jensen.”
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prue’s christmas love letter!
dear, followers/mutuals/anyone seeing this,
I am well aware that this may not be entirely christmas related but I wanted to say it anyways. I’m wishing everyone reading this the happiest christmas and I hope your day is lovely. I’ve sent in ornaments on decomytree to anyone who I found had one so you received a personalized note from me, I do hope you read them! but for anyone who did not, then here is one now. despite this letter being universal and not directly to one person, I do know for sure that if you’re reading this then it’s most likely we are mutuals or you are one of my followers. the first thing I wanted to say is that I hope your day is amazing, I hope you have fun and enjoy yourselves and receive many lovely presents— and even if you don’t then I’m sending you my love and a plethora of hugs. to me, christmas doesn’t mean much because I am not christian, but I am aware that I do have followers that are which is why I am still supporting and being enthusiastic for the people that are big on the holiday. but anyways, for anyone who does celebrate— this is a holiday of spending time with your friends and your family and showing your love for them, and if you don’t have family nor friends then know that I am here for you as much or whenever you need me to be (both dms and inbox are open if you need someone to talk to)— but on this, I would like to express my gratitude for all of you and all the support and love I have gotten over my time here as a writer, it means a lot to me that you have all stayed with me and quite frankly, put up with me this long, so thank you for that. lastly, I want you all to know that I really do love you lots and I hope you have the loveliest day,
(many) xoxo, prue
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Madness in Mansion Chapter I
A Long Trek, a Great Journey
“Dear Miss Bethany,
By the time you are reading this, I will (hopefully) be long gone. I would tell you where I am going specifically, but I know you or someone else would have to come find me. I have left to find my father. My biological father! So please, please, please don’t worry! (And don’t chase me!)
I know me leaving might make things hard. I won’t be around to help with the other kids or the cleaning or the cooking. I’m sorry for putting more on your plate. But this is something I must do! Something calls for me! And if all goes well, you and the agency won’t have to worry about me anymore! I’ll be with my father safe and sound! If I can, I’ll send you a text message when I get to him and all settled in!
Love,
Lazari Swann!
P.S. There’s still some left over lasagna in the fridge if you were worried about dinner tonight! I put it on the bottom shelf! :-D”
Lazari taped her folded letter to the fridge. Really, it was the only place she was confident her foster mother would see it. The home was always chaotic, so many other kids, ones much younger than Lazari, demanded attention and care and nurturing. So much so that it was often Lazari herself offering such things to the toddlers and babies. She’d help make them breakfast, help them with homework, help them get dressed. Really, she was a bonafide second caregiver to her foster siblings. And while she wished she could’ve stayed after school for clubs or maybe been in her middle school’s play, she didn’t complain. There were much worse things in the world. Much worse situations.
Every morning her foster mother would rush out to the kitchen and begin making breakfast. She’d call for Lazari desperately, as well as some of the older kids to help. And every morning Lazari would jump into action, fully dressed and prepared for the day, and make the most delicious pancakes a 13 year old could make. So the brunette was certain that this was the spot for the letter to be. Brown eyes scanned her dark surroundings, the house still and chilly as she stepped back from the refrigerator. The young girl took a deep breath.
“Goodbye, home four.” She whispered out softly, jostling her stuffed backpack around to be better situated on her shoulders. She had already left letters for her siblings to find (the ones old enough to read at least) so all that was left to do was to leave and get to the bus station. All her money from allowance and chores was saved up for this moment. All her research at the library and on school computers when she should’ve been paying attention to algebra lessons, it was all for this purpose and this purpose alone. Lazari Swann would find her father.
Her mother had died after giving birth to her, that’s what she knew. Her father was nowhere to be found. All she had of her parents was her mother’s necklace and some old photos her mother had kept in an album. The album was mostly of her mother and her family, Polaroids from adventures long buried in the wake of a premature death. Her grandparents refused to take her in, refused contact, and Lazari was left to the devices of the foster care system. She was allowed to keep that album though, the one with many stories never to be heard from her mother’s own mouth. And there was one photo in particular that always caught little Lazari’s attention.
— 🍝 —
Lazari stared at the photo long and hard as she felt the shifts of the bus, as it turned and slowed and sped up. Her fingers rubbed over the ink that had stained the film, her only clue to finding her remaining family, a location she had never heard of yet oozed familiarity.
Loblolly, Alabama
XX,XX,1993
Cascada’s “Everytime We Touch” bumped in her earbuds, bright red iPod held firmly in her opposite hand. She had studied this picture for so much of her childhood, she felt like she could draw it from memory. Lucky for her, a bus from Louisiana to Loblolly, Alabama existed, and 8 hours later that bus was slowing to a hefty stop. Lazari braced herself as the vehicle jolted, it wasn’t exactly a graceful finish to the ride. She popped her head up and tucked the photo away into her jeans’ pocket, pressing pause on her little device and wrapping her earbuds around it to place back in her bag. There weren’t many other passengers on this ride, and certainly none as bright eyed as Lazari. They all seemed lost, the girl had briefly thought, but then again, perhaps she was as well. She shyly thanked the bus driver for getting them to their destination safely and was on her way.
Loblolly, Alabama… the fresh air was welcomed into Lazari’s lungs as she stepped off the bus’ steps and looked around herself. She was closer than ever before to answers, to family, she just wasn’t sure exactly where to start her search. The photo she had been studying all this time was hard to decipher; it was a red monolith erected in what seemed to be a forest of black trees. She always assumed the photo was just taken at night, that’s why it was so dark and ominous looking. But where should she start searching if the whole town seemed to be surrounded by trees? A grumble in her stomach brought her thoughts back to the present moment. It was around lunch time now, no wonder she’d be hungry. So, her search would have to be put on pause while she found something to eat.
The young girl walked by many fascinating things, old stores that somehow seemed to be up and running still, the town square and a library, posts and walls with countless missing persons papers stapled on them. Lazari found herself watching her reflection as she walked by store and restaurant display windows, pleased with herself since her plan was going so smoothly. She disappeared into a small diner to grab a quick bite to eat, setting her overly-packed bag next to herself in the booth. An older woman waltzed over to her, makeup intense and perfume even more so. She peered over her cat-eye glasses to the young lady in front of her, face uninviting but words warm.
“What can I get ya to drink, honey?” Her voice was raspy, but gentle. Lazari decided it was pleasant.
“Oh! Um… do you have iced tea?” The brunette asked meekly, smiling politely like always. The woman didn’t have to write anything on her small notepad yet. She just nodded and stated:
“I’ll be right back with that, hon.”
Lazari watched as she walked away before turning her attention back to the menu. She thought about getting a sandwich, something easy to finish so she wouldn’t have leftovers and waste food, it was just a matter of figuring out what kind. As her eyes scanned over the options, she couldn’t help but pick up on the low conversations surrounding her.
“Did you hear he was spotted again?”
“Yeah, by the high school right? I wonder what he was doing there…”
“There weren’t any reports last night… no new victims or anything. Do you think he’s planning something bigger?”
The sound of a glass clinking against the table made Lazari jump. She looked up to see her waitress, face flushing as she found her own spacing out silly. She thanked the woman who nodded and brought out her notepad.
“Now, what can I get ya to eat?” Lazari had decided to get something simple after all. She ordered a grilled cheese with tomato soup, perfect since the days were getting a bit colder. Once the waitress was gone again, Lazari slumped back against the booth and let herself rest for a short moment.
It was when the waitress was coming to take her dirty plate when she got the confidence to ask. Holding the picture with sweaty fingertips, Lazari looked up to the older woman and squeaked out her question.
“I-I hate to be a bother, ma’am, but I was wondering if-if you know where this is?” The girl presented the image to the waitress and her eyebrows raised. Lazari wasn’t sure if they raised out of recognition or curiosity, or perhaps maybe for a more negative reason like annoyance. Either way, the woman took the picture in her aged hands and tilted her head. After what felt like an eternity, she spoke.
“Sorry, hon, I haven’t got a clue.” Lazari felt her hope falter a bit. “Maybe it could be the park down the road from the high school? You know, there’s a lot of trails there and what not? I think that’s your best bet at finding something like this.” The woman handed the picture back to Lazari with care. She picked up the plate before pausing and turning her head to say something else. “If you’re gonna be going there anytime soon, just be careful. There’s been nasty things going on around us lately…” The waitress turned her head away and left slowly after that, leaving her words to linger in Lazari’s mind. Ultimately, she decided that whatever it was had nothing to do with her or her goals. The young girl gathered her belongings, left an overly-generous tip, and was once again off on her merry journey.
It took a good while to find the high school. Lazari had to ask around for directions and received odd looks in response. It was like the townspeople couldn’t believe someone new had shown up there willingly. They would briefly answer her questions and then brush her off, all guarded and cautious. However, Lazari eventually found her way. And here she was on a hill, gazing upon the small school with a tilt to her head. She felt like she had seen this school before, maybe on the news or in an online article. But that wasn't the point of finding it. Now that she was here, she was certain she’d be able to find that park the waitress had mentioned to her.
“From the high school, go left.” She muttered to herself, reminding herself of the directions a more friendly townsperson had given her. She made her trek down the long road and before she knew it, she was entering the park.
It seemed like any other wildlife park. There were hiking trails, picnic areas, but everything seemed deathly still. An odd melancholy permeated the air. Lazari couldn’t tell if her sudden apprehension was because it would be getting dark soon or if she was just freaking herself out. It was just a park after all, a nature preserve! But the words her waitress shared with her suddenly rang in her head. Still, she had come all this way, she wouldn’t give up on finding her dad now.
Lazari stopped by a map of the trails and inhaled sharply as she realized just how many there were. There was no mention of a red tower, just trail names and things of more importance. She wouldn’t make progress just standing around, she had to keep moving. The young girl picked the longest trail to go down, thinking that this way she’d cover more land. If she didn’t find the tower on this trail, she’d just come back and pick a different one. Sure, it might be tedious, but she felt so close to uncovering something. Her heart raced, and she wanted to believe it was from the adrenaline of finally meeting her father, not from unease.
— 🍝 —
The sun was just disappearing behind the trees when she saw it. The red tower. Her heartbeat quickened, thumping hard against her rib cage. She felt the prick of tears, being in an area where her father and mother must’ve stood at one point. Sure, the tower was rusted and unsturdy, and the trees were a muted green instead of inky black, but this had to be it. She was at the exact angle the photo was taken from! She placed the Polaroid back into her pocket and kneeled down to retrieve her flashlight. Finally, she was finally getting somewhere. Lazari stood back up and switched her flashlight on. She gazed upon the tower once more, and as the sun faded, slowly… so did her optimism.
It suddenly dawned on her just exactly what she was doing here. She had left her foster home behind, traveled 8 hours to a location she’s never been to before, trekked through the woods alone, all just to see some tower that might have something to do with her father? What was she expecting to find here? Was she expecting him to be there? Waiting for her? Was she expecting some miracle to happen, or for something to make sense? She was here and now what was there left to do? That prick of tears turned sour as they trailed down her rounded cheeks. She choked on a hurried breath as her actions, and their possible consequences, started catching up to her. What was the point of this? What was the point of anything?
crrrrack
The sound of a twig sharply snapping made Lazari stiffen. The sound stung her ears, she must’ve grown accustomed to the eerie silence that hung heavy in the branches. With haste, she turned and shakily pointed her flashlight towards the direction of the noise. What she saw before her was almost indescribable.
At first, she thought it was a person, emaciated and bare, but the more her gaze lingered on it, the more she realized that was no human being. Its crouched position gave it an animalistic quality, its face unnaturally contorted in a snarl, and its eyes seemed to reflect her flashlight’s brightness. She shrieked, crying so loudly in hopes the whole world could hear her and someone would be there to rescue her. But she’d have no such luck.
It all happened so quickly. The thing bounded towards her and she ran off the trail. She jumped and stumbled over overgrown roots, feeling thorns and sticks brush by her legs. At a certain point it caught up with her, grabbing her ankle and yanking her back. Her flashlight left her hand and she yelped as her chin met the forest ground. The thing, now on top of her, slashed at her face. She was quicker though and lifted her arms in defense, earning a tear to her favorite sweater (and her arm) instead.
Lazari had always heard your life flashes before your eyes before you die. She saw glimpses here and there, memories of birthdays or going to a new house or meeting a new sibling. She even faintly recalled a barn, and having no time to be confused by that thought, she let the memory comfort her as she tried to make peace with the fact that she was about to be killed. At least she’d get to meet one of her parents tonight. But before this creature could finish her off, she watched it get pounced on by something with much more weight to it.
The creature was tackled off her and she didn’t waste time crawling away. The sounds were that of a struggle. There was growling, tearing, the crunch of bones being crushed by powerful jaws. She snatched up her flashlight to at least give her surroundings more visibility, pointing it towards the sounds just in time to see that whatever had attacked her was dashing away into the darkness with a hiss. She trembled as she looked upon the other beast that remained. Would this one attack her too? Was it just fighting off a competitor to win the prize of a meal?
The dog looked back to her, head tilted and curious. Lazari felt her stomach start to settle. This was no beast! This was a dog! A very large dog, but a dog nonetheless! The animal trotted up to her, keeping its gaze submissive as if to show it was no threat. Lazari swallowed thickly, but didn’t stop it from coming to her. After everything that had just happened, the potential to pet a fluffy dog was the most comforting thing in the world. She reached out a hand and the thing ducked to fit its blocky head under it. With shaking hands still, Lazari stroked its fur, sniffling and trying to quiet her sobs. She did this for minutes, trying to will herself to stop shivering.
“Go-Good boy…” She finally whispered, fingers brushing against a collar. Carefully, she found the bone-shaped tag on it and shone her flashlight over its engraving. “Smile…? Is that your name?” The dog’s tail started to wag and it barked in response, earning a cringe from the young teen. She hushed him nervously, looking around herself and forcing herself to be vigilant. Lazari recounted her belongings, making sure she still had her backpack on her back, her flashlight in her hand, her picture in her pocket. After what felt like hours, she stood up, only mild tremors still affecting her body. Smile watched her and dutifully took on a protective stance once he realized she was ready to move again.
“I don’t suppose you know a way out of here?” She half joked, now realizing she didn’t recognize her surroundings at all. She had gotten so far off the trail. Smile nudged her leg, raising his neck to connect with her fingers. Curiously, Lazari grabbed onto his collar and he began to guide her in a seemingly random direction.
— 🍝 —
To her utter surprise, the dog named Smile had taken her to a cabin. The cabin was rickety, small and she would’ve thought it was abandoned had it not been for the warm lights seeping through the cracks of the boarded up windows. Smile finally left her side, trotting up to the cabin door with a wagging tail. She figured his owners must live here, maybe that’s why he was in the forest in the first place. Cautiously, Lazari stepped up to the cabin door and knocked on it, bony knuckles making a pleasant sound against the wood. There was a long pause and no movement, so desperately, Lazari knocked again. There was another long pause, but this time, some noise could be heard from within the rundown cabin and the door was opened with a great force. Lazari flinched, jumping back as the door swung away from her.
“What!?” A gruff voice sounded out, and Lazari’s vision focused on a man. The man before her stared at her dumbly as soon as he saw her, Smile at her side, happy and playful still. His brows were furrowed, but something in him seemed to immediately soften. Lazari and the man stared at each other for a long moment before a third person entered the equation.
“Tim? Who is it?” This man’s voice was more relaxed, curious as he also entered Lazari’s view and peered over the dark-haired man’s shoulder. He, upon seeing Lazari, immediately held a similarly dumbfounded expression. There was another long bout of staring. Lazari found the courage to try and explain her situation.
“I-I’m sorry! If I um… am disturbing you both! But um! I was on the trail in the park. And-And something attacked me! I don’t know what it was, but… I think your dog saved me? I ran off the trail and got lost when it came after me and I…” Lazari’s voice trailed off as words got jumbled in her head. After the running and the attack, she realized she had run out of steam very rapidly. This fatigue also made her completely forget about the term ‘stranger danger.’ And honestly, these men looked more scared of her than she should be of them. The one named Tim finally spoke.
“Come in.” He stated lowly, opening the door more for Lazari to enter. The other man also moved out of her way. She didn’t have to be told twice. The brunette hurried into the warmth of the cabin and felt herself completely unravel.
The tears started again, her sobbing and biting her lip to try and keep herself quiet. The taller man knelt down a bit by her, attempting to take her backpack off her and she let him.
“Hey now, you’re okay.” He cooed, setting her backpack down with care and taking her hand to guide her to the only bed in the cabin. “You can sit here. Now, what’d you say your name was?” The man squatted in front of her as she slumped down on the thin mattress.
“I’m Lazari.” She sputtered out pathetically, whimpering and shivering all over again.
“It’s nice to meet you Lazari. I’m Brian. That grumpy looking guy is Tim.” Brian nodded his head to the dark-haired man who was on the opposite side of the cabin grabbing something from a shelf. “We’re gonna help you out, okay?” Brian offered his hand to shake and Lazari shyly shook it, manners were ingrained in her. The lanky man patted her hand with his free one when they were done shaking as Tim met up with them, first aid kit in hand.
“Did you get hurt anywhere?” Tim asked softly, squatting down similarly next to Brain. It was at that moment Lazari realized she had gotten scratched. She felt the cold stinging in her arm and looked down to see her sleeve torn and stained red. Tim and Brian watched as she took off her sweater to get a better look at her arm. She was relieved that the t-shirt underneath didn’t get damaged at least. She had worn her favorite outfit for the journey, after all.
“It doesn’t seem to be too bad, just a surface scratch.” Brian noted, suddenly serious. Tim grunted in agreement, switching sides with Brian so he could disinfect the wound and bandage it up.
“This might sting.” Tim noted as he rubbed a disinfectant-drenched cotton ball on her skin. Lazari inhaled a bit suddenly, but that was the extent of her reaction. There was silence as the shorter man bandaged her wound. He was extra careful to not make it too tight on her skinny arm. He was finished swiftly though, and he packed the first aid kit back up to be put back on the shelf.
“Now, can you try to tell us what attacked you?” Brian prodded gently, offering a lopsided smile of reassurance. Lazari hesitated, and he seemed to catch it immediately. “I need you to be as honest as you can. I promise whatever you’re about to say, me and Tim will believe you.” Lazari gulped, but she gave in. She was too tired not to.
“At first I thought it was a person… A really skinny and naked person. But it wasn’t. It was… unnatural… I don’t know how else to describe it, I’m sorry…”
“Hey, you don’t gotta apologize.” Brian hummed. Tim had rejoined them by this time, arms crossed over his broad chest. “We’ve encountered that guy plenty of times. We know exactly what you’re talking about. I’m just glad Smile was there to save you.” Lazari looked to Smile, who had been sitting next to her this whole time. He was as tall as her now that she was sitting. She nodded, also glad that she didn’t have to be met with such a terrible fate.
“What were you doing in these woods at sundown?” Tim suddenly asked, sounding a bit like he was scolding her. Lazari bowed her head, now realizing how stupid this whole plan of hers really was.
“I was looking for my father.” She stated, voice small. The cabin stilled, both Brian and Tim suddenly confused. Lazari continued. “S-See, my mom died giving birth to me and my dad was nowhere to be found. I’ve been going from foster home to foster home and I just wanted to at least try and find my dad. I just wanna go home…” A home that she had never known, Lazari realized as she spoke. “My only clue was this stupid picture!” The young girl presented them with the Polaroid picture from her pocket. Tim took a hold of it and looked down, Brian standing to get a peek as well. Lazari’s eyes were downcast, she couldn’t see their faces turn pale as they gazed upon the image. There was a bout of silence before Tim spoke again.
“I see…” These simple words were filled with trepidation. Brian had grown quieter than ever. The two men exchanged a look, as if reading each other’s minds, exchanging sentences with no words spoken. “We know a guy who might have answers.” The shorter man finally said. Lazari’s eyes widened and she looked back up at them.
“Really!?” She nearly shouted. Tim nodded, but his face looked grim.
“Now listen, kid…” He handed the picture back to her. “You’ve already witnessed first hand that things in this forest are not… right. And now that you’re here, frankly, things might get complicated. The answers you get might not be ones you want to hear. I’m not expecting you to understand anything I’m saying right now. But I’m telling you that you’re gonna have to be a lot stronger from here on out. Things are… well… it’s just…”
Brian placed a hand on Tim’s shoulder, patting it with comforting pressure. He smiled simply, Tim exhaling and taking a moment to recollect his thoughts.
“We’ll bring you to him in the morning. You’ll stay here for the night, where you’re safe.” Brian informed as Tim walked off to go to the sink. He filled up a glass of water and placed it by the bed Lazari was sitting on. “Try to get some rest, okay, Lazari?”
Lazari nodded slowly, allowing their words to sink into her brain. It seemed things were more complicated than she could’ve ever known, but she was in no state to inquire about what they meant or who she was about to meet. The young teen kicked off her shoes and curled up on the mattress. She felt Brian pull the flannel covers up and over her, effectively tucking her in. Smile climbed the short distance from the floor to the bed and huddled up against her legs. Lazari couldn’t pinpoint exactly why, but she felt that this must be close to what home feels like, and the warmth of this lonely cabin lulled her to sleep.
#YAYYYY FIRST CHAPTER!!#okay bear with me#I have no idea how to write Tim and Brian#they’ll probably change in characterization as I refresh my memory about them#BUT FOR NOW THIS IS WHAT I HAVE#Madness in Mansion#creepypasta#creepypasta au#creepypasta fandom#creepypasta fanfic#crp fanfic#crp fandom#crp au#lazari swann#tim masky#brian hoodie#smile dog#slender mansion
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UNLIKELY FASCINATION
PART III: "Forever and Ever"
It was Sunday—the laziest day of the week. Waking up at 9, I strolled past my front balcony, heading straight to the kitchen for breakfast. Then, I opened my computer to work on my project.
The clock struck twelve. As I prepared for a bath, I felt something queer. Did I forget to do something? I wondered while opening the door to the balcony.
"Oops! How could I forget this?" I mumbled.
I placed the bananas on the cupboard behind which the civet stayed.
Yes, it has been quite a few years. It grew older, and I grew up.
I really grew up. Actually, that’s misleading. Nothing much changed about me—I just became mature enough to realize what reality is. I grew from a child eager to make friends, to a teenager traumatized by friendship, to a mature person afraid to make friends.
Have any of you ever experienced living in an environment, studying in a school with your agemates, and realizing that no one—absolutely no one—thinks like you? No one understands your sense of "friendship." No one understands your definition of "loyalty." No one understands your idea of "happiness." At that point, you may feel you are innocent. And yes, I admit I was innocent, and I want to remain unchanged for my entire life.
Sometimes you will be framed. And then you may call yourself a fool, but you are not. You are just not experienced enough to understand who deserves your friendship. Friendship requires trust. Trust demands loyalty, and—
LOYALTY is an EXPENSIVE thing that you cannot expect from CHEAP people.
Hence, now I’m afraid—maybe I won’t be able to distinguish the rich from the cheap. It requires skill to distinguish a diamond from moissanite. It requires even more skill to identify a rich heart from rich apparel.
Hence, now, I am truly petrified—of friendship... with narcissists.
But don’t think I’m devoid of friendship. I do have friends, and I’m genuinely happy with them.
I’m proud to say that I’m an animal lover. I love all animals. To me, they are my best friends. Whenever I see them, I feel an eternal, inseparable bond existing between us—something rare, beyond profit, beyond ulterior motives, beyond any conditions—so natural, so resolute.
As I was placing the civet’s food, it came out, only to stare at me for a few obsessed moments. Earlier, it was introverted—it restrained itself from appearing in front of me, yet secretly watched me. That’s hypocrisy, though. But I loved how it changed. Seeing its change, I asked:
"It has been so many years, and still you haven’t answered me."
It looked at me cluelessly.
"What? Did you ever answer me whether you want to be my friend or not?"
It picked up its food and took a bite.
I smirked and walked away.
At this point, both of us knew the answer to the question. I reminisced about our sweet memories—the time when our eyes first met, that dining table incident which still gives me goosebumps, and how I developed an unlikely fascination for a civet cat, a wild, supposedly nasty species, even though I hated cats.
Oh, there’s something I must tell you all. Civet cats are not cats. Yes, the scientific name of the house cat is Felis catus. Thus, all cats are generally part of the Felis genus, although their species may differ, like Felis chaus (Jungle cat) or Felis bieti (Chinese Mountain cat). But civets are not one of them. Civets belong to the family Viverridae, and they don’t form a monophyletic group.
In West Bengal, we generally find Paradoxurus hermaphroditus (Common Palm Civet) or Viverricula indica (Small Indian Civet). And believe me, I found this out on the last day of my Class 10 board exams—coincidentally, the day I studied biology for the final time for exam—since I pursued Physics, Chemistry, Mathematics, and Computer Science as my main subjects in Class 11.
So my fascination wasn’t that unlikely, as it’s really not a cat. I know it may sound melodramatic and cheesy; it may even resemble a mistaken identity plot. It might seem like an attempt to romanticize the idea—love is all perfect and ideal—even though the shape of Earth isn’t—but for God’s sake, believe me, I didn’t make it up for the story. It’s damn true.
Anyway, aren’t you eager to know the answer to the question from earlier? Well, it was—
“Forever and Ever.”
#literature#spilled ink#thoughts#writing#animal love#cats#care#civets#love#inspiring quotes#childhood days#animals#cats of tumblr#original story#original#writers on tumblr#writers and poets#writerscommunity#pets#english literature#passion#prose#spilled poetry#poets on tumblr#cat#childhood#life lessons#life#motivation#friends
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reaction dump 🩵🩵
i also just finished part 2 before reading this and every bit got me feral. i was literally pacing around the room trying to compose myself after reading it 😭 literally TOO EXCITED to read this
i already saw cheating in the warnings and im so scared for rafe now.. okay bye!!
—
Rafe takes what he wants, and he doesn’t go down with a fight. Hopefully, that runs in the family. — imagine cam and rafe fight each other. dude i would die if that happens
“C’mon... You’re my girl. I need you happy before I go out on the field or I'm not gonna be able to concentrate on shit.”
love it when they say ‘my girl’ my god, please fuck me already? thanks 😊😊
“Mmm… That’s my girl,”
my back just snapped like a glowstick
“You look good. Fuck, you look pretty, baby,” he hums.
fuck i’d fold so hard. like turn that tv off and take your clothes off.
—
“We don’t need to tell him, alright?” He asks. “Can you keep that between you and me? I just don’t wanna have him get in the way of this– you and I. Of course, you two still have each other, but I think what we have is different.” — WAITTT FUCK WHATT?? girlfriend i think my mattress might break because of how much i’ve been hitting it. im going feral over here..
—
“What, you’re not gonna let me watch,” JJ smiles and winks as he sees you on Rafe’s end. Rafe shoves him out of focus–the two bickering back and forth, getting their jabs in between laughs. “Goodnight, sweetheart,’ JJ calls to you.
“Yeah, you too, bitch,” Rafe smiles..
IM DYINNGGGGG i can’t anymore. stop this is the reason why i love you and your account so much 🤍
—
You look at Cam, he holds your gaze for a moment before burying his face in his hands. No.
fuck no what, i had to re-read this part ten times before i understood. WHATTTT your mind is genius.
I mean, he lied… He pretended to be Rafe–his own brother, the man who told him to stay away.
OH MY GODDDDDDD. STOPPPPP 🫠🫠
“Why did you stop, baby?” You ask Rafe, letting your eyes flick up to Cam’s as well, running on pure adrenaline. “Strip.”
oh shittttttt— uhm i think im not even able to think straight after reading this (in a good way obviously)
He rubs this thumb across the wetness, lifting it to his lips to suck it clean with his eyes on you. bend me over the bed and fuck me or something because WHATTT
“Damn, you’re evil for this, baby. Shit… Just wait for tomorrow night I fuckin’ swear-” — oh you are amazing for this, what do i do without you? no, what does tumblr do with without you 🥹
⤷ you don’t know how much i love you. i swear, you always feed my obsessions in all the right ways.
—
Your bottom lip pouts and trembles in overstimulation as fat tears roll down your hot cheeks. You look down at Cam, scratching your nails into his buzzed hair. His eyes rake up your body, landing on your lips, licking his own—no doubt thinking about his dick sliding in and out and your lips on him.
girl what are you doing to me?? i can’t do this. screaming and giggling in bed right now
“Fuck–Fuck, JJ. What the hell?” — for fucks sake are you kidding me 😔😔
What the fuck did I just do?
that’s what i’m wondering too!! i am baffled, shocked, are there any other synonyms? part 4 can’t come soon enough 😫 love me some drama
I LOVE YOU, i’m obsessed with this.
𝕊𝕙𝕒𝕣𝕚𝕟𝕘 ℙ𝕒𝕣𝕥 𝟛 – 𝕋𝕨𝕚𝕟 ℝ𝕒𝕗𝕖 𝔽𝕚𝕔
+18 𝓜𝓲𝓷𝓸𝓻 𝓓𝓝𝓘
Part 1 𝜗𝜚 Part 2
𝙲𝚞𝚛𝚝𝚊𝚒𝚗𝙱𝚊𝚗𝚐𝚜!𝚁𝚊𝚏𝚎 𝚡 𝙱𝚞𝚣𝚣𝙲𝚞𝚝!𝚁𝚊𝚏𝚎 𝚡 𝙶𝙵!𝚁𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛
Warning: language, pet names, kissing, angst, accidental cheating, manipulation, cheating, skype sex, sex toys, mutual masterbation, mentions of a sex tape, swearing, degredation, dom!rafe, multiple orgasms, overstim., brief oral (fem. receiving), Cam takes the toy and starts using it on her, he also performs brief oral without verbal constant
📖 After meeting Rafe's (CurtainBangs!) twin brother Cam (BuzzCut!) for the first time, Rafe gives you a proposal you can't help but accept: sharing you. What Rafe didn't expect was his jealousy… And what you didn't expect was a text from Cam a week later wanting to see you again.
Reader’s POV:
The text from Cam sat there staring at you. Miss me? ‘Cause I need you princess.’ Those words carry the weight of everything you hadn’t even gotten to process yet. You pace the apartment, thinking about the next steps, your thoughts battling—looping on an endless cycle. Cam’s text wasn’t just a message… That was an invitation.
Rafe told you the night was supposed to mean nothing, but it meant an awful lot. It was supposed to be something fun, maybe a one-time thing… Something Rafe said he had done in the past, but something had changed when it came to you. There were feelings there far beyond anything he had felt before. Now you’re left standing in the aftermath a week later, feeling like the ground is shifting underneath you.
Cam is Rafe’s brother… His fucking twin. Someone he trusts–someone he brought into your life without hesitation. But to you, Cam wasn’t just Rafe’s brother anymore. That night created something new between you that you didn’t think you could handle…
Grabbing your phone, you sit on the couch, fingers hovering over the keyboard.
You: Okay.
The word stares back at you… Simple, but heavy. Sending this message without talking to Rafe first… what am I thinking? But, in a way, it wasn’t just you and Rafe anymore. Rafe had opened that door… And you weren’t ready to close it.
I can’t. You toss your phone down on the couch cushion beside you, heart banging in your chest. Walking to your room, you gather your things, desperately needing to get out of the house and clear your mind. Maybe time is exactly what I need; you think to yourself as you grab your keys and head toward the door.
You bite your lips, guilt creeping in as you come to terms with the fact that Cam is Rafe’s brother… If I don't say anything at all, he’d come regardless. Rafe takes what he wants, and he doesn’t go down with a fight. Hopefully, that runs in the family.
You look down at your phone, the message still sitting there unsent. Your stomach twists as you think about Rafe’s admittance last week in the bedroom. How blindsided would he be if he knew you had been thinking about this as much as you have–letting it affect you the way it is?
Again, you set your phone down and roll out the tension in your neck, weighing the pros and cons and analyzing the risk. As you tip your head back on the couch, you hear your phone buzz. You grab it off the couch cushion, half-expecting another text from Cam, until you see Unkown.
“Hey,” you say, trying to keep your voice steady, but you can hear the waver.
“Hey, princess,” Rafe replies, his voice warm and familiar, helping ease your tension. You can hear the commotion of the hotel lobby in the background, the faint hum of noise as the boys gear up to head out to the stadium. “What are you up to, baby?”
You glance at the TV ESPN College GameDay, already loaded. It should be a simple answer… But your mind is a mess, making it hard to wade through your thoughts.
“Baby?” He tries in a gentle voice. “You there?”
“Mhmm…” You hum, pushing the utterance past your lips. “Just scrolling Tumblr, waiting for the game to start; relaxing.”
“Good,” he drawls, his voice warm and smooth. “Just wanted to make sure you got the game to load.”
You pause and close your eyes, feeling the weight of your messages from Cam pushing down on your chest. The words are already forming in your throat. “Rafe,” you blurt.
“Yo,” he laughs nervously. “Uhh… You good, baby?”
You clear your throat, feeling heat pool in your cheeks. “Yeah… I–I got a text from Cam.”
The silence on the other end of the phone is deafening. You listen closely, hearing the lobby noise come through a little louder. “Uh, what? What did he say, baby?” He finally asks, keeping his tone calm.
“He said he wants to see me,” you whisper, met with more silence from Rafe.
“Jesus Christ,” he grumbles. “He’s my brother… ‘Course he can’t stay away.” There’s a lightness to his tone as if he’s not at all surprised. The tension in your shoulders falls slightly at his response. Unsure of what his response would be—anger or jealousy—no part of you expected this. “You’re fine, princess. Just got in my head a little bit last weekend. It’s not a big deal, aight?”
“Okay…” You breathe, the nagging want to ask if it’s okay if he can come over replacing the previous discomfort. “Is it alright if he does?”
“Yeah, baby. I'll give him a quick call when we off.”
“You sure?” You ask uneasily.
“You gotta relax, baby. I wouldn’t have introduced the two of you if I was worried… I never worry about you.” You take a deep breath, pressing it out slowly, listening to Rafe’s light laugh on the other end. “Stop worryin’, pretty.”
“Okay,” you whisper.
“C’mon... You’re my girl. I need you happy before I go out on the field or I'm not gonna be able to concentrate on shit.”
“I’m your girl,” you answer sweetly. “I’m fine. Just fine baby. I love you.”
“I love you too,” Rafe adds.
“I’m excited to watch you play,” you smile.
“Mmm… That’s my girl,” he hums. “I’ll call you when I get back to the hotel tonight. Shouldn’t be too late, aight?”
“Sounds perfect,” you reply.
The phone clicks off, leaving you with your thoughts in the apartment's quiet. Rafe’s trust was absolute, making everything much more complicated when you knew you were about to step outside your relationship without him knowing—especially now, discovering he had been okay with it all along.
You take a deep breath, trying to steady the storm inside you. Looking at the screen, you try your best to relax, smiling as you see your boyfriend’s face pop up.
After a while, the game was on, and Rafe was playing like a star. The commenters praised Rafe, his name coming through the speakers repeatedly, leaving your thoughts ping-ponging between both boys—back and forth, back and forth–the grip on your phone getting tighter by the second.
Buzz.
Cam: Out front
Your eyes widen as you see the notification, making all of those thoughts come to a screeching halt.
Just like you had guessed, Cam didn’t wait for your response, taking the Cameron approach to the matter, leaving you relieved and nervous, stressed and elated, completely fuckin’ torn as you walked to the door. Your body trembles with adrenaline as you grab the handle.
Rafe said it was ‘okay.’ So why am I still so nervous? You feel a familiar rush as you look into his beautiful eyes–that same feeling bubbling just under the surface as it had been night one.
“Hey, baby,” Cam smiles, his voice deep and warm. “M’sorry for just coming. You can tell me to fuck off. I just–I couldn’t wait any longer.” You swallow thickly as he steps closer, waiting for a response.
“It’s fine,” you whisper. “I’m sorry I didn’t respond. I just didn’t–” Your words get swallowed in a deep, uneasy breath.
“You didn’t know if Rafe would be okay with it,” he answers for you. You look up at him, feeling overwhelmed.
“Yeah…”
“I didn’t think he’d agree either, but he came around,” he assures you as he wraps his arm around your waist. You draw a sharp little breath, and before you can speak, he captures your lips in a tender kiss.
He chuckles breathily against your lips as he feels you tremble in his arms.
“You’re good, alright? We got you.”
You swallow the lump in your throat, looking up at him, your nails scratching into his tight buzz cut. “Okay.”
“Atta girl,” he soothes as his lips travel along your cheeks and neck, pressing gentle kisses on top.
“I missed you,” you whisper. He lets out a delighted groan, squeezing you as he lifts you off your feet into a hug.
“Fuck… I missed you too, sweetheart. Haven't stopped thinkin’ about you.”
“Neither have I.” You bury yourself in his arms for a few more moments.
“… Relax,” teases again, and you melt in his arms a little more. You let out a laborious laugh before drawing a deeper breath than you have in days. “Now let’s watch this jackass play ball, huh?” Cam sets you down on the ground, walking into the living room. His fingers stay laced in yours, eyes tracing your body as he follows you. “You look good. Fuck, you look pretty, baby,” he hums.
You let out a little gasp and a laugh as he crashes down on the couch, pulling you on top of him as the second half starts. He wraps you up in his big arms, your head resting on his muscular chest.
You listen to his level breathing and the steady beating of his heart as the game goes on. His big, rough fingers trace your spine lazily during commercial breaks, making your entire body feel electric from that simple touch alone.
You watch proudly as your boyfriend stands with the other team captain for the post-game interview, grinning ear to ear. The interviewer kicks it back to the ESPN studio, leaving Cam with your full attention.
The corners of Cam’s lips curl into the prettiest smile, making your stomach flutter. “Princess…” He mumbles as you rest your chin resting on his chest.
“Mhmm,” you hum.
“I don’t think I could have stayed away even if Rafe said ‘no,’” he whispers, his voice just above a hush. You can tell those words hadn’t left his lips easily— like he had been thinking about them since he left. And, like you, he knew that feeling that was wrong, too.
“Me either,” you breathe, answering honestly.
“We don’t need to tell him, alright?” He asks. “Can you keep that between you and me? I just don’t wanna have him get in the way of this– you and I. Of course, you two still have each other, but I think what we have is different.”
“I think so, too,” you whisper.
The post-game show droned on, and then the highlights of the day’s games, all just background noise as the two of you fell into a steady rhythm together: talking, joking, and snuggling as the warmth of his body pressed against yours. You could feel the connection between the two of you growing stronger, a bond you hadn’t anticipated this early hitting you hard and fast–absolutely impossible to forget.
Buzz.
You watch as your phone trembles on the coffee table with a new message from Rafe, letting you know he is back at the hotel and waiting. “It’s Rafe,” you beam; Cam’s expression softens as he brushes some hair off your face.
“Sounds good, baby…”
You step off the couch and walk toward the bedroom. Pulling open the laptop, you look across the room, fixing your hair and outfit in the mirror as Skype loads.
“Babygirl,” you hear Rafe cheer. His loud voice breaks the speakers a little, crackling in the feedback with his post-win excitement. You swoon, looking at the pretty boy on the other side of the screen. “Get the fuck out, Maybank,” he scoffs.
“What, you’re not gonna let me watch,” JJ smiles and winks as he sees you on Rafe’s end. Rafe shoves him out of focus–the two bickering back and forth, getting their jabs in between laughs. “Goodnight, sweetheart,’ JJ calls to you.
“Yeah, you too, bitch,” Rafe smiles, flicking off the cornerback as he continues to accost Rafe ‘til the door shuts, the room falling silent.
“Hey, princess!” Rafe hums in a deeper tone, glowing with pride and excitement.
“Fuck, baby. That was a good game,” you smile as you crawl closer.
He gets easily distracted, seeing you in his jersey, making your excitement rise as well. “Look at you,” he praises as he leans in a little closer.
“You look good too, baby. Is that new?” You giggle and wink, the man already knowing where you're going as you eye up his new sweatshirt.
“Yeah. Yeah. It’s all yours, baby,” he chuckles and his plays with the strings a little before pulling off the hood. “N’thank you, sweetheart. We did alright.”
“Alright?” You puff. “You were amazing.”
He laughs that laugh, running his fingers through his hair. “I wish I had you here to celebrate with me, pretty.” His tone softens as he looks at you; you can tell he means every word. You look over your computer, watching as Cam walks into the room and takes a seat atop the dresser. “Hate leavin’ you alone on a Saturday night,” your stomach falls, eyes fluttering at his words.
“Oh…” Your heart and mind start to race. “I wish I was there too.” Your voice breaks with adrenaline as you try to explain it away in your mind… Maybe he just means without him? Alone… without him?
“You should go out or somethin’... Get some air, have a little fun, get a drink for me. I’ll be home tomorrow, and we can celebrate then, okay?” You nod quickly, trying to push that uneasy feeling aside.
I mean, I got a call from him before the game… I talked to Rafe. Am I going fucking crazy?
“I’ll be fine,” you smile, feeling your lips tremble.
“Missed our pregame chat… And our post-game shower for sure,” he chuckles sleazily.
You look at Cam, he holds your gaze for a moment before burying his face in his hands. No.
“You doin’ okay, baby?” Rafe asks as he cocks his head slightly, looking back at you. “After last week n’all? Seems like you've had a lot on your mind.”
“Mhmm… m’fine,” you answer far too casually for how uneasy you look now.
“Good, baby. That’s good,” he smiles. “So, uhh... You still up for a little fun tonight, princess?”
Cam looks up to the ceiling, fighting his own internal battle. I mean, he lied… He pretended to be Rafe–his own brother, the man who told him to stay away. He throws his gaze back down to the floor, nodding to himself as he pulls himself to his feet, and right when he goes to step toward the door, you reach down, pulling Rafe’s jersey over your head, leaving you in nothing but a lace bra and panties, acting before you can even think it through.
His head turns toward you, and the man draws a deep breath as his eyes fall down your body, taking you in like the first time. Your eyes return to the computer screen, watching Rafe do the same. A deep moan comes through your speakers; his pretty blue eyes rolling back in his skull.
“Fuck, baby,” he sighs blissfully, tearing himself out of his shirt. You settle back down on the mattress, thighs spread wide as you look back at Rafe, watching out of the corner of your eye as Cam walks back, taking a more comfortable position on a chair as his darkened eyes lay set on you.
“Why did you stop, baby?” You ask Rafe, letting your eyes flick up to Cam’s as well, running on pure adrenaline. “Strip.”
Rafe chuckles darkly, and Cam smiles and bites his lip, catching the direction meant for both of them. Cam quickly pulls himself out of his shirt as well, making your mind swirl. You feel yourself growing wetter by the second, the chill of the wet lace clinging to your hot skin. And just like clockwork, the two boys pull down their pants, crashing back down onto the seat and the bed, their boxers tented out by their big cocks.
You bite your lip and smile as you reach behind your back, unclasping your bra and holding the lace to your chest as your hand shakes like a leaf, but you can’t stop. “You gonna be a tease, princess?” Rafe asks through a laugh. “M’not there to discipline you. You gonna test me, or are you gonna be a good girl?”
“Always a good girl for you, baby,” you whisper as you flick your bra to the floor.
“Fuck,” Rafe groans as he paws off his last bit of clothing, his long, thick clock hitting his tight abs with a smack as Cam quickly does the same. Goosebumps bloom across your skin and your body, riding an indescribable high. “Got that video, baby?” Rafe asks.
“Mhmm…” You prop up your phone on your computer, pushing play, listening to your soft giggle and Rafe's low moan swell through the phone’s tiny speaker.
“Do you have the video, baby?” You ask as your right-hand drifts between your thighs, rubbing your clit lightly through the fabric. You see a flicker of movement out of the top of your eyes as Cam licks his lips hungrily.
“‘Course I do, princess… I’ve been thinkin’ about it all fuckin’ day.”
Cam straightens up a little, his view obstructed by the laptop, desperately wanting to watch you play with your pussy. He stands up from his seat, his fat cock standing straight–his swollen head already leaking with precum sheened at the tip as he walks to the edge of the bed, taking a seat.
Your fingers work a little quicker, teasing both boys with what they can’t touch. Your head falls back, a soft moan leaving your lips with every even breath. You look down at Rafe, watching his big fist wrap around his thick cock, stroking slowly.
“Take off your panties, baby,” Rafe mumbles. You drag the wet material down your thighs, flicking them to Cam, making the beautiful boy take his bottom lip between his teeth as he runs the material through his big fingers. He rubs this thumb across the wetness, lifting it to his lips to suck it clean with his eyes on you.
“You look so pretty on camera, princess… Tell me why I’m takin’ my eyes off you again?” Rafe chuckles, his eyes dancing between you and the home movie on his phone, the man on Cloud 9.
“I love having your attention, Daddy,” you smile as you glide your fingers wet through your slick folds, “gets me wet,” you tease as you bring them back up to your clit hating yourself for how comfortable you feel—not hating yourself enough to quit.
“So fuckin’ dirty, princess. I love it,” he hums as he starts to stroke his dick a little faster, getting off at the sight of you, spitting on his cock for lube.
Your eyes shift slightly, biting back as you smile as Cam wraps the pretty lace around the base of his thick length, hissing at the contact as he wraps himself tight. You can feel yourself getting wetter by the second, the boys holding back their sounds just to hear more of it as they watch you close.
You lean out of the screen, reaching into the nightstand, pulling out a vibrator, showing it off for the camera. “Fuck, baby,” Rafe hums as he adjusts slightly, forgoing the video altogether as he catches a glimpse of your toy, “you’re killin’ me.” You look up at Cam, the desperation in his eyes, fighting back his praise and pleasured sounds with his life.
“Babygirl,” Rafe murmurs as his eyes rake over your naked body, the tip of the vibrator replacing your fingers on your sex. “Stop fuckin’ with me.” Chills fall down your spine as you hear Rafe’s deep, commanding voice.
“What do you want, Rafe?” You ask breathily as you push it a little deeper between your thighs, tracing your slit before showing it to the boys; the head drenched with your wetness.
“Shittt… Turn it on,” he mumbles as his breathing quickens, the gold chain on his chest catching the light.
“Yes, Daddy,” you turn it on, making a show of it as the length of it twirls and shakes. You can feel how drenched you are, your drooling hole leaking down your inner thigh. You gasp as the silicone tip meets your plush skin, tracing through the mess before lifting your eyes to Rafe.
“Push it in, pretty.” You gasp as the vibrations hit your clit, muscles jolting from the contact, that shock quickly turning into pleasure. Your thighs tremble as you ghost the tip over your puffy clit, pussy clenching around nothing. “Fuckin’ push it in,” Rafe moans. “Damn, you’re evil for this, baby. Shit… Just wait for tomorrow night I fuckin’ swear-”
“Shit!” You squeal; both boys’ moans cancel each other out as you stuff the toy inside your aching core. Your eyes shift between Rafe and Cam as they work their fists over their throbbing dicks.
“Play with that shit. C’mon, baby. C’mon,” Rafe pleads through a deep groan as he watches you close.
“So pretty, baby. Shit, you look so damn good,” Cam mumbles under his breath as he watches the toy fuck in and out of you, keeping your pace with your strokes.
You let out a hoarse cry as you find your g-spot, the little vibrating nub pressing against your clit perfectly. Your breathing starts to quicken with your heart, the knot in your stomach growing tighter and tighter. Your eyes clamp shut as you feel yourself about to near your peak.
“Open your eyes, baby. M’gonna cum… Fuck. I’m gonna cum for you,” Rafe hums. Your orgasm hits you fast, washing over you like a wave. You watch the screen as Rafe strokes a few more times before letting his thick cock go, pulsing as he cums in ropes landing hot on his abs as he pants like a dog.
Cam bites his lips, wrapping his fist around the delicate lace, pulling it down to his tip. His head falls back as he empties himself into the lace. His ab muscles clench as his heavy load dirties your panties, making an absolute mess of the fabric.
The three of you breathe heavily, coming down from your highs together. A broad smile spreads across Rafe’s lips as he tilts his head back, hitting the hotel headboard with a soft thud. “Mmm… Get on your back, baby,” Rafe hums. “You're cummin’ again.”
“Yeah?” You ask with a breathless laugh as you look between Rafe and the video playing on the phone, watching Rafe throw you to the mattress and plunge back in fast.
“Yeah, princess. Wanna hear you cum with yourself. Better hurry up, sweetheart. Sounds like you’re close,” he smiles smugly as you lay down on the bed, starting up the vibrator, your thighs, pussy still quaking from your first orgasm.
Your eyes widen as you look between your thighs, watching Cam take it off your hands before pushing it inside for you. You cry out, back arching off the mattress as he works it in at the perfect angle, the head of the vibration swirls against your g-spot, vibrator flicking at your clit.
“Fuck, you can take dick like a pornstar. Can't you princess?” Rafe praises—his cock still hard, as he shifts his focus between the old video and the pleasure on your face, the rest of your body cut off from the lens as Cam works the toy in and out.
Your bottom lip pouts and trembles in overstimulation as fat tears roll down your hot cheeks. You look down at Cam, scratching your nails into his buzzed hair. His eyes rake up your body, landing on your lips, licking his own—no doubt thinking about his dick sliding in and out and your lips on him.
He turns up the speed to the max, making you fight against him slightly, but he grabs your body, pinning you to the mattress.
“Are you gonna cum, princess?” Rafe drawls, and you nod rapidly. “Good fuckin’ girl. Give it to me.”
“Mhmm,” is all you can muster. “Fuck!” You whine as your damn breaks, pleasure coursing through your body as you flutter around the vibrator, cumming in tandem with the video of yourself.
Cam pulls out the vibrator, making you gasp. He flattens his tongue, licking a line up your silk, causing you to whimper pathetically as he works you through your high. Cam curls his arms, forcing you closer as he locks onto your puffy clit, sucking and flicking his tongue; feeling yourself close to a third release but you trap him between your thighs, throwing him daggers with your gaze.
“Fuck–Fuck, JJ. What the hell?” Rafe calls as you hear the door push open on Rafe’s end, making all three of you jump. Your hand clamps over your lips, as you watch your boyfriend, do his best to cover himself up while his teammate cackles. “Knock on the goddamn door,” he barks.
“Forgot my wallet,” JJ says, his voice on the edge of laughter.
Rafe covers himself more, putting his big hand up to the camera as JJ pops his head in, grabbing his wallet off the nightstand. “I’ll fuckin’ kill you,” Rafe hisses, only half-kidding, but you’re already covered up with a blanket anyway. His eyes track JJ as he walks away, heading out the door.
“Goddamn…” Rafe mutters as he pulls back the dirtied duvet, eyeing the mess. “How many more guys am I gonna have to fight off you today?” He huffs.
Cam looks over his shoulder slightly as he pulls back on his sweats. You can see it in his eyes, Cam hit with the bitter taste of guilt. Rafe smiles at you lovingly, utterly oblivious to the war in your mind and his brother in the room.
“Rafe-”
“I’ll see you tomorrow, princess. I love you,” he cuts you off before you go to speak, seconds away from spilling your guts. Maybe it’s for the best…
“I love you too,” you whisper, hearing the slight crack in your voice.
You grab the top of your laptop, pulling it shut, your heart banging in your ears as the weight of the situation starts to pile on you. You felt a rush of panic flood through you—not knowing whether to laugh or cry.
What the fuck did I just do?
⭐part 4 coming soon⭐
tags: @rafesthroatbaby @littlelamy @kisses4angels @watchmerora @buckybarnessweetheart @anamiad00msday @namelesslosers @cades-outsider @romaescapes @starkeysprincess @oxpogues4lifexo @unrealmirrorball @sleepiibunniiii @gri959 @rafesgiirl @daryldixon83 @akobx @hyperfixationgirl @lhhlver @rrafeswhore @slut-4-gojo @blair-bears-blog @loveesiren @cameronwillow @rafegf-real @alphabetically-deranged @ariana2saucyy @rafestoothbrush
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you know. i wouldnt get so privately frustrated everytime i talk with my mum abt me and my brother paying ‘rent’/helping out w food or bills once we both have full time jobs if she at least had the decency to admit she just wants to use the money to pay off her and my dads debts quicker
#x#like. it’s not like i wasn’t planning to help out once i finished uni/got a proper job#i’m not. shameless. regardless of whatever they might think of me. i am in fact aware of the concept of giving back.#but it’s just like the first time it was ever brought up i offhandedly mentioned like. an average of what i thought was a considerate amount#to give. and she was like so obviously appalled? n was like well you know if you were living on ur own you’d be paying 3/4x that right#n suggested double the amount#and i was just like. idk. like no shit it would cost a lot more to live alone#but i’m not doing that am i? i’m staying with YOU. my FAMILY#am i not paying enough with the constant assault on my mental health and well-being by being around my dad here lmao…#did i not spend all my teen years hoping desperately to leave as soon as i could bc i was so miserable#to then find some sort of stability and decide that in this climate itd be better off to stay at home#like. it upsets me bc i’m just trying to think about saving up enough for the smallest hope of a pipe dream of my brother and i buying a#house together in the future. just SOMETHING just for ourselves for a sense of security#and i’ve told this to her like don’t you think me and harry should be saving as much as we can now while we live home…#bc they’re planning to abandon us in a couple years and go back to colombia anyways lmao. so it’s not like we won’t be paying rent ourselves#by the time we’re 25#which will make saving most of our money harder lmao#anyways she was like you’ll still be able to save a lot of ur money now! it’s not like i’m taking all ur money!#and i just feel like she’s missing the point idk. like. AUGH i’ve lost steam of my argument#but like. it’s not like they’re in a dire situation. like up until now when harry paid his first months worth of ‘rent’ they’d been managing#fine … like obviously everything is more expensive and we’re being more careful but like. it’s not some sort of emergency#she just wants us to ‘help out’ to teach us or whatever. and bc it’s right. bc they’re our parents#which. FINE like again i was never opposed to it ever i’m not an idiot or selfish i get it#but once i start working between me and harry we’ll be paying for half the rent. and we ALREADY buy groceries/food in general when we notice#there isn’t any at home#i hate feeling like i’m an awful entitled child for feeling upset abt it but i just feel like she setting us up to struggle just that Little#bit more when she leaves us alone in this country. and i’ve been stressing abt that since i knew that was their plan when i was like 12!#i don’t want her gentle little suggestions of helping out money wise to be couched in fucking. duty or responsibility to them as my parents#just ADMIT IT to me the money is going to go to paying your debts. just say it to me. it doesn’t sting as much that way. my god
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Ramón is being such a big brother to Sunny. I love this so much. My chest physically aches with how cute and sweet this is.
#like. Idk it just. Really solidifies how much of a family morning crew is like#Ramón sees that Sunny’s kinda nervous without her pa around and is immediately like. Alright. Brother instincts kickin in#I am staying by your side until we are both 100% certain you are safe and comfy#like. I remember being an anxious five year old girl and my big brother offering to sleep in my room so i would feel safe after a nightmare#or smthn#just#Ramón immediately stepping up for Sunny and being like. alright. You’re scared. I’m gonna do everything I can to change that.#It’s just so sweet and I cannot wait to see how these two interact in the future#raine rambles#qsmp#qsmp eggs#qsmp ramon#qsmp sunny#morning crew
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i do not like thanksgiving (week)
#1. late november? it’s Dark. all the time. pure darkness#also my dad is neurotic for no reason about the electricity bill despite how much money he spends on random other crap#and he will get really nasty with you if you leave a light on for one nanosecond longer than it needs to be on#so like only if you’re in the room which means the house is dark all the time and you’re expected to just walk around like that#even though having a light on at your destination if you’re moving back and forth helps#like sorry i don’t want to feel depressed and sleepy all the time#2. family over means i have to socialize even though i straight up have nothing to say#i think this one is self explanatory i think we all know the feeling of having to perform around relatives and to be friendly#i really do try my best i’m not like a hardcore introvert i’m just boring and easily bored#if i have nothing to say but i am expected by law to be present at the gathering#i will cope with looking awkward by constantly snacking on whatever food is present#so i just eat like a ton of crackers or whatever over several hours#and i feel like absolute crap#like blehhh wdym peanut m&ms will make your body annoyed at you#3. i can’t cook i’ll be so real so i can’t even feel like i’m being helpful#i would gladly help out i’ll just always need someone to hold my hand and i’ll be in the way#so it’s better for me to stay away#but then it looks like i’m just lazy#or again antisocial#and then that means i gotta do cleanup and dishes#4. going back to the Darkness and sleepiness. all of the above things are bad enough over say christmas#but at least then i can relax bc the semester is over it’s a real break#but thanksgiving? man i am still busy. i have to work from home. i am stressed#my instinct is to hibernate and relax bc of the darkness and holiday vibe#however i’m not allowed to#but it’s hard to be productive#harder still when you have to operate under someone else’s rules#peach rambles
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having mommy issues be like I hate that you know me I hate that we’re related I hate that you birthed me I hate that you don’t know how to love me properly I hate that you can’t see how much you hurt me I hate that I’m expected to love you
#cy says stuff#I moved out when I was 17 for a reason#but I do still go back to visit when schools out sometimes and I regret it every single time#every time we talk I’m like damn is it time to call it quits because this is not it#I literally feel like I’m constantly on the brink of being disowned or kicked out of the house when I’m there#but it’s also for things like. bringing a single bottle of wine to a Christmas party that I did not even drink#or like. moving in with my partner of 4 years. because we are going to the 2nd most expensive city in Canada and girl I cannot pay the rent#or being upset when she reads my diary ?? or reads my credit card statements without permission and also just like behind my back??#like do you think I’m not going to find out when you bring up information you only would’ve known if you had read those things#I can put two and two together…#also I’m literally almost done my university degree. i am fully an adult. these should not be issues !#ahhhhh!!!#anyways I will speak to my therapist about this lol#also y’all my friends are always like oh I love my mom and it just seems to be a socially accepted thing that you should love your mom#but what if your mom sucks what then#I genuinely cannot relate to them I’m like literally what does that feel like#the first time I felt loved was when I was 15 lol there is 0 love in my family#anyways !#it’s okay I am out of it and I have been out of it#just#always on the brink of cutting her off forever lol#some ppl just never change as much as you want them to and that is tough to accept.#it is also harder because society is telling my that I need to stay loyal to my family cause they’re blood#but if this were anyone else I would’ve blocked them so long ago 😭
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I used to be in the "let Dabi live" camp but my staying there required very specific circumstances which have long passed 🤣🤣 I only lead with this because the recent chapter spoilers have got me sooo displeased. It IS cruel. The entire family needs to let him go. I get him apologizing to Shoto (if that ends up being true? I wouldn't trust it until an official translation drops but I am also mostly avoiding spoilers atm haha) because he had always wanted to apologize to his family, but let him go. Please 😭
so from what i can tell from the fan translation + scans, it LOOKS to me like he apologized to an empty room. the ‘sorry’ bubble is being said when the family is outside the facility, it appears????? unless i’m being entirely fucking delusional LMAO
i like this a lot better than touya apologizing to shouto’s face because 1. it feels much more in character, and 2. i’d argue it makes that soba moment a helluva lot more impactful. it almost feels like the final nail in the coffin of realization for touya, like he’s going ‘damn, he is actually JUST LIKE ME, we could’ve been enjoying soba together and i didn’t realize he wasn’t dad’s puppet; i didn’t realize he was also a victim’. when touya first comes face to face with shouto (as dabi), he hasn’t seen him in several years, he has NO idea what the fuck was going on in that house or how shouto truly is as a person or how shouto feels towards their father and all of the abuse he endured at the hands of their father, and touya has created and clung to this narrative in his head of shouto being enji’s lil masterpiece, enji’s pride and joy. shouto subsequently shows him throughout their various fights that this is truly not the case. i think you could argue that now that touya’s on the brink of death with nothing to do but THINK in that godforsaken machine they’ve locked him in, he is finally truly reflecting on everything that happened and coming to some realizations before he dies. at least, that’s how i see it!!
other than that, i’m so so so upset with how everything is being handled. i’m SO glad touya calls them out and says he feels like a tourist attraction because YEAH. yeah. that’s what they’re doing to you, baby. they’re keeping you alive and prolonging your inevitable death so THEY can talk to you, for THEM, not for you. ugh honestly i could write you a whole essay on how disgusting and disrespectful this whole thing is, i’ve been rambling all damn day to my friends about it HAHAHA ._. it’s just so goddamn selfish!!!!!! the fact that enji just speaking had touya’s heart raising to DANGEROUS levels already says so much. like you’re really just going to prolong his fucking suffering so YOU can all absolve yourselves of your guilt??? you can’t give him the one thing he has wanted and planned for for several years (death)??? fuck right off
#SORRY I KNOW IM RAMBLING I JUST#HES MY FAVOURITE CHARACTER OF ALL TIME AND I AM SO UPSETTTTT#i’m so upset#i’m happy he’s dying as morbid as that sounds because as u know i’ve always been in that camp#and hoped that would be the end for him#but what really just pisses me off is how much disrespect his family is treating him with#and that THATS his end (apparently)#(i’m terrified hori wont explicitly confirm touya’s passing and then he’ll come back in a sequel as vader the 2nd)#but anywayyyyy#yeah!!!#i’m upset!!!!!!#i’m so sorry bb i know he means a lot to you too#it really fucking hurts to see him have to go through this!!!!! it’s disgusting behaviour on the part of the family!!!#fuck all the todoroki’s except natsuo who is so clearly DONE LMAO#ugh despite this chapter i do hope thursday is treating u well <33#pls stay safe n drink ur water!!!#clari gets mail
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the prednisone was mean to me overnight :(
#marzi speaks#probs bc i have a family member flying down today#to help make sure i’m not alone while my parents take a weekend trip to [OTHER CITY IN OUR STATE]#so i’m likely anxious abt that or smth#still it SUCKSSS#stayed up too late which gave it time for a mood swing so i went to bed kinda just sad and longing#then woke up at 4 am in a puddle of my own sweat (thank you steroid hot flashes)#and like. also mildly convinced i was about to start a new infusion and had to do specific prep for that#like i was in the damn hospital again#which. in hindsight is probably a trauma response. hm#but anyways by the time i went to the bathroom and my brain understood that the Wet on my back was sweat and not my own blood#i was able to go back to sleep. until around 7 am#tried to go back to sleep. got maybe another hour. saying fuck it and just getting up now#i’ll try to take a nap later#sighhh. ups and downs ups and downs#i’ll figure it out or whatever. but it is a little annoying#this isn’t exactly a vent but i don’t want anyone rbing it so
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r/regretfulparents is my hellscape. i know most of them are just going through hard times and venting and probably don't actually regret it but like. i genuinely think motherhood would be my most awful prison. the whole sub is like the scariest horror game the internet has to offer for me.
#im just already exhausted of being a mother and i dont even have kids 😭#(i do. hes fifteen and dyslexic and ADHD and my little brother)#(yes mom i did take care of him a shit ton i am not exaggerating it)#(there is a reason he tells people i basically raised him and he asks ME for things before asking our father who is your coparent)#(there is a reason you sigh in relief when i come home from break and ask me to 'whip [my dad and brother] into shape')#(there is a reason i spent my thanksgiving day being bitched at to do everything)#(even though you have a husband!)#(and another grown adult kid!)#(who's actually older than me but hasn't lifted a finger to help the family)#(she always said she'd be like fiona gallagher if anything happened to our mom"#(NEWS FLASH. YOU WOULDN'T BE. YOU DISAPPEARED. I STAYED.)#(even before you disappeared you weren’t allowed to be a caretaker)#(you couldn’t care for him. you were banned for being violent)#(I shouldn’t have been putting someone else’s kid to bed most nights of the week)#(then when quarantine hits and my mom has the time to be a mom again)#(she gets mad at ME for being overly involved and acting out of pocket)#(girl. this is how things work around here you just didn’t notice)#(whenever I come home from school now she completely checks out)#(she makes comments about how she’s glad I’m home so she doesn’t have to make all the decisions anymore)#(because im so bossy! and then I get made fun of for being bossy! you made me like this! you want me like this!)#(I am not your partner I am your daughter)#(my dad is more of a dad and husband in recent years but it quite honestly didn’t seem like it happened until I moved out)#(because he didn’t have to step up and do that shit it was just dumped onto me)#(and no I don’t want to have a kid to be better or something. im done raising kids. im going to be better for myself)#(I know I could do a hell of a lot better. but. im. not. going. to.)#(my childhood was for them. my adulthood is for me.)#(my students will be the only kids I have and that’s for damn certain.)#mattie gets personal
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