#but i won’t talk about those lol
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Welcome back Holly, I hope you’re doing well!! You mentioned starting some fics, would you mind giving us a sneak peek?? 👀
hii, i’m not sure if i’m “back” yet, i think we should reserve that for when i’m actually posting ㅠㅠ as for how i’m doing, i’m doing… somehow?? idk it’s neither good nor bad, i’m just existing atm
but yeah i’m happy to talk about my drafts (it’s my default setting lol), i’ll try getting everything together that i’ve already started (and maybe some multi chapter ideas i’ve been plotting) ^^;
feel free to ask more questions about them or maybe prod me for snippets :]
Crushing Kisses, Ace version [same prompt as the first part (ft. riddle, jamil, vil, idia)]
ace x gn!reader [~50% of the first draft done]
⇢ kissing your friend aka your crush
A Twisted Pokémon AU [twst x pokémon au]
⇢ Welcome to Night Raven College! The students gathered here have all been chosen for their outstanding talents where Pokémon are involved, be that battling, researching or developing useful gadgets. I can say with reasonable certainty they are the nation’s elite! But first things first, what would your name be?
Barbarian Bakugo One-Shot
barbarian! bakugo x gn! fae! reader [first draft finished but no editing or proofreading down yet]
⇢ The Fair Folk and the Barbarians of the Dragonrider Clan have never had much common ground, even back in the day when they were still peaceful neighbours. […]
Bnha x Hades AU
rn mainly young god! shouto x gn! reader
⇢ young god! shouto, with a burning hatred for his father, lord of the underworld. […] the prince knows his father won’t just let him leave the underworld, the scar covering his face a grim reminder of when he first tried. but, really, he should have known it would only make shouto try harder to reach the surface, and thereby his mother.
Solomon Drabble
solomon x gn! reader
⇢ leaving lipstick kisses on him
Spider-Man AU
spider-man! childe x gn! reader
⇢ an encounter with the city’s most infamous hero makes your heart torn between your college crush and the masked vigilante
Ningguang/Beidou Drabble
⇢ ningguang x gn!/fem! reader x beidou (there’s not actually much of a plot here yet, i just suddenly found these paragraphs in my docs…)
Isekai AU
prince! atsumu x isekai’d! reader [10k written but i want to scrap all of it tbh]
⇢ a sarcastic comment and run-in with a truck land you in the world of a visual novel you had been reading. do you have what it takes to make your promise come true?
i think those are all the fics i already wrote something for (that are worth mentioning) and here are some more multi-chapter fics i’m plotting (obviously i have no snippets for these yet)
aventurine x gn! reader
⇢ your pretty co-worker hides a very big secret
knight! childe x royalty! reader [angst]
⇢ how much would you risk to be with the one you love?
merman! [character] x gn! reader
⇢ In your home town it was customary to throw a bottled letter into the ocean on the night before your birthday, believing the waves will return your wishes to you when the time is right. Despite being sceptical of the tradition, you go along with it, only to find yourself in the most unexpected pen pal situation. Unbeknownst to you, however, the other side has been courting you [for a while now]. And you’ve been accepting.
if you made it all the way down here, wow thank you!! and again, feel free to ask about any of these or tell me how much you’d beg me to write one of them jshshhs
#┊✩彡 divine correspondence ♡#┊✩彡 unsigned letter ♡#i’m omitting certain details to keep some suspense and surprise (even if i don’t think a lot of people will read this)#i also have two original ideas flying around#but i won’t talk about those lol#diagnosis: starting too many drafts#there’s so many one-shots and drabbles not even worth mentioning here ㅠㅠ#but yeah let me know if anything piques your interest here#in my mind they’re all a+ ideas jshshhs (now i just need to get them on a page)#(also if you can’t tell summaries with correct capitalisation are proper ones; all lowercase ones are ones i just made up)#(this may or may not be related to me omitting details…)
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drawing my favorite feral girl
#literally just a creature#i finally started on those character sheets i was talking about#i’m saving the boys for last bc i know if i do them first i won’t finish the others lol#anyway. hey. hi.#how are you.#school is kind of stressing me out BUT other than that i’m ok#i have a long weekend coming up so i’ll probably chill out & play some animal crossing#i’ve been playing so much animal crossing lately#i have been having some OC thoughts lately…#mostly stuff about everyone as adults#some stuff about dhes’ family#etc.#i’ll probably write some of it out soon#i need to get back into writing#hm. ok. bye#rainyrambles#artwip
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saw a post saying “the only reason Israel exists is because of western oil interests” - and my thoughts here aren’t specific to that one post but a similar Sentiment I feel like I’ve seen a bunch… it feels… off to me when I see ppl on the left express this notion that Israel is wrong and evil BUT NOT Jewish!!! They don’t want to be antisemitic and they know that Israel does not represent all Jews, and they also want to call out other factors that ARE very significant factors in the past & present of Israel’s militarized existence, but they go so hard in that direction that like… it gives me the Bad Vibes in a different way. Different example that gave me a similar feeling - couple weeks back I remember seeing several friends shared an insta post that was all about Christian Zionism with stats and graphs showing the numbers of Christian zionists, how way more zionists are Christians than Jews, like a 9:1 ratio, and it also said something like “ZIONISM IS ANTISEMITISM”. Which - I wanna be clear, I do think raising awareness of that info is helpful, and I do personally feel that Zionism is harmful to everyone including Jews (but I wouldn’t call it ‘antisemitic’ bc I feel that’s deliberately pushing the limits of words in a way that less clear and more inflammatory than it should be).
But anyway both of these examples feel that common thread to me of like - calling out REAL factors that are at play in Israel’s creation, continued existence, relationship with US (and other) imperialism, but also… like… trying so hard to say “it’s not about Jews, it’s not about Jews at alllllllll!” When like. IT IS A LITTLE ABOUT JEWS, PAL? and it’s okay to acknowledge that?? And honestly I think trying that hard to ignore or talk around the notion of Israel as a Jewish homeland EVEN IF YOU DO NOT PERSONALLY AGREE WITH THAT NOTION OR THE WAY ZIONISM HAS USED VIOLENCE AND COLONIALISM TO MAKE IT HAPPEN, just makes it harder to contend w the reality of the situation. let alone communicate w people who aren’t already on the same exact page about this issue as you are. Like this attempt to try to critique Israel while so desperately talking around the Jewish part is well-meaning, I know, and probably in part a practical defense/response against those who continue to lob accusations of antisemitism against any critique of Israel, but at some point you sound ridiculous
#literally you have to contend with the fact that there are many people#who believe in Zionism bc either they are Jewish and see it as a Just Cause for their homeland#or who aren’t Jewish but support it for that same reason and think it’s supporting Jews#imperialism is ALSO a big factor#as is Christian Zionism#but you will never understand this issue as well as how to talk abo it it without being antisemitic#if you refuse to engage with the nuanced and often troubling parts of it!!!#like tbh imperialism and Christian Zionism are EASIER to talk about#bc (from a left perspective at least) those are Acceptable Targets/punching up#I feel like this is also connected to the times when ppl say Zionist but u feel like they mean Jew lol#bc if they refuse to engage with actually thinking about when they mean which word…#but they only think ‘Jews aren’t the problem zionists are the problem’…#and won’t dig into the thorny ways Zionism and the Jewish community are entangled#then like. it’s no wonder ppl use it in a way that feels like a stand in#wow this got away from me#politics#jewblogging#d
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I’ve watched the woods scene over a thousand times but I’ve specifically took a look at the scene where Steve is looking at Eddie’s lips. All I’m going to say is Steve’s eyes were looking down for an insane amount of time before actually looking back at Eddie’s eyes again. Like my boy was MESMERIZED!!! Every time I watch that scene the staring lasted for a very long time and the tension that comes from this scene is also insane to me. If this was a different show a kiss definitely would’ve happened way sooner, I’m still upset about it 🤦🏾♀️
#steddie#those were some long ass seconds#he was staring hard#like come on#i cant get over this#I won’t stop talking about this#i’m a mess#I’m tired#i’m not even joking#i’m sleepy#who are they fooling#not me#eddie munson#steve harrington#stranger things#help lol#idk what else to tag#please#come on#manifesting#power#so cuuuute#nope#hmm#yup yup yup#yall aint slick#what do yall think#now i’m curious#i hate it here#i’m still heartbroken
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I’m reminded of that post about how goths and people who wear only lots of pink are actually the same because “wearing only one color” is a specific choice in opposition to just looking Normal
I’m flying to a friend’s wedding today, and I recently acquired from my neighborhood free page a very pretty vintage suitcase in like a brocade upholstery texture in all of my good colors, so of course I needed a coordinated airport outfit à la Midge Maisel. You guys don’t know me, but I usually dress very put together, in what my sister calls Outfits, with a capital O to distinguish it from just wearing clothes. And since getting a full time job I’ve been slowly adding to my collection of vintage and 50’s-vibes clothes, because I just really like that aesthetic (my bridesmaid dress for the wedding is a vintage tea dress I got from Etsy. The fabric is in great condition but I had to reinforce pretty much every seam with my sewing machine, because the structural integrity of the original thread was breaking down, so that was an interesting learning experience).
All of which is to say that I Dressed Up for the airport in a vintage-y outfit that coordinates perfectly with some of the colors of my suitcase, and my hair is curled, and I have a vintage leather purse that my grandma gave me that matches her watch that I’m wearing and the shoes she bought me last summer at the same vintage store that my skirt came from, and a teenage-ish girl with whatever you call the 2023 teenage equivalent of emo/punk vibes, like the dark maroon mullet and not a lot of makeup and dark comfy clothes but like, very on purpose, told me I look cool when I walked past on the way to security
And like, she Gets It! We have different fashion goals but I think we put a similar degree of intention into the way we look compared to just wearing regular clothes. Which is cool! It’s validating. Not that I really need validation, but it’s always nice to get compliments, of course. And the way I dress is really not terribly distinctive most of the time, other than being Outfits and a little dressier than maybe the norm is, like I think most people who see me one time in passing would see that I look Nice but not necessarily see it as a cultivated Look. But punk mullet girl gets it.
#struggled with not sounding *too* pretentious here#I don’t feel pretentious but I have a hard time talking about like. specific choices and things in any detail#like to my friends I just said what happened with a picture of my outfit and was like ‘and she gets it!’ and they were like ‘yeah!’#but to strangers I have to go into much more detail to get the point across#even though really it’s not like I’m putting all of that into it every day I just get up and go ‘i want to look nice today’#in accordance with my personal fashion preferences#and then having to explain those preferences like ‘my name is alagaisia midge maisel darkness way and I’m wearing vintage whatever’#i do look so cute though#i got these shoes last summer and then lost the heel cap off of one of them the very first time i wore them#finally took them in to have them fixed last week so I could wear them to the wedding#needed a deadline so that I would actually get around to it#i hate flying it’s really a testament of how much I love my friend that I’m flying#instead of driving ten hours to Nebraska#but it made more sense and to make sure i won’t be late or run into car trouble or anything#and I’ll stay looking nice right away instead of getting gross and sweaty in the car or having to change for bachelorette activities#i only know the bride so I’m definitely going to make a very specific impression on all of these strangers lol#i joked with my dad about adopting a trans Atlantic accent for the whole weekend just for shits and giggles#turns out you cannot do it over the top. have you ever listened to JFK’s ‘we choose to go to the moon’ speech#it’s very silly sounding#we had a good time saying things one might say at a bachelorette party in a goofy voice#‘we cho~ose to ohdah thihs maiule strippah… ahnd the othah things.. nawt becahse it is easyh..#but becawhse he is hahd’#highly recommend#mine#personal
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when will I ever be able to share an exchange of messages with a man without knowing he’s feeling me some sorta way
#PLWASE#CAN YOU NEVER BE PLSYONIC WITJOUT BEING GAY#ITSG#LEAVE ME ALONE!!!#texted a coworker abt something from work today and he immediately started getting flirty using work as an excuse#then a friend was doing that insecure men thing#where you talk about your high standards like expecting gifts and them being obsessed with you#and they say 🤓those are somewhat unrealistic expectations#and crap like money isn’t everything ‼️focus on yourself ☝️#because they know they wouldn’t be able to give that to you and it irks them#well it’s my expectations for a reason lol bro I know I won’t be happy with a broke guy ????#it’s only okay to find someone who’s convenient for you if you’re a man not a woman#so stupid
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Oh my god I might get to take my friend on a date EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK
#that’s a good eek lol#I won’t even really have romantic feelings towards her lol#and as far as I’m aware she feels the same way towards me#but we joke about having sex/going on a date a lot#and she was like ‘I’m free Sunday’ and I went 👀#she also posts a lot on Snapchat complaining about people just wanting her for sex/not treating her well#& also posts TikTok’s of guys giving their girlfriends princess treatment and captioning it with stuff like ‘need someone like this fr’#so like— I dunno- it’s a little silly- but I kinda wanna do that for her I dunno#I’m kinda already planning some things out 👉👈#and like I said!!! I don’t even have romantic feelings for her (have literally talked to her about a crush I have lol)#but I dunno- I guess I just wanna show her that it’s not impossible to find someone who *will* do those things and *will* treat her the way-#-she wants & deserves to be treated#I think mostly I want her to know she doesn’t need to lower her standards- *shouldn’t* lower her standards#just because a few shitty people refuse to meet them#(the reason I’m so deadset on doing this might have something to do with me lowering my already very low standards for people who absolutel-#-absolutely did not deserve it in the past)#like honestly some of the stuff was as simple as getting her flowers/opening the car door for her#easy shit. (obv I’m doing more than that lol)#but you get the idea
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I dressed up as a light rail train from my local transit agency for Halloween and someone took a picture of me during my morning commute and sent it to them. Little did I know that my transit agency posted the pic, and across platforms it’s gotten over 1.8k likes?!? Multiple people stopped me on my way home to ask for pictures or talk to me cause they’d seen me online. What a weird day.
#if you live in Portland and saw the pics of the MAX guy? that’s me lol#most of the comments online have been really sweet too which has been nice#especially since I was really stressed out and couldn’t sleep last night because I was nervous about wearing this costume#I also find it funny because in the picture from the morning I was on my phone. What was I doing on my phone?#I was studying for my transportation operations exam. literally caught me on transit dressed as transit studying transportation#overall the costumes reception has made me very happy and to me highlights exactly what I love about Transit.#because of my costume I’m making people smile and I’m getting to talk and connect with folks around me#many of whom I’ll never see again. my costume is helping connect my community and build bonds between us#that’s what transit does! when you share that space with other people and talk to them you are connecting with people in your community#people who you likely won’t ever see again! but those conversations still matter and are good!!#they connect us all to each other#everyone is a neighbor on transit. we are all connected on transit. we are all transit users.#and that’s a community that stretches into almost every other subcommunity in the community at large#transit connects people - not only from place to place but also with each other#googoogajoob
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maybe making this mapo tofu will fix me
#the ancestors are ROOTING for me lmao#but also!!! food as a way to explore diaspora!!!#that’s like half my poetry lmao#maybe I’ll make jook too….#one of the most precious things in my life is talking to my grandma about#her dad who was from china & a fabulous chef#& then infusing those details into my own cooking & writing <3#I’ll never forget the KINDNESS of this woman#who works at my favourite restaurant back home#before I moved away to school I asked her how they make their fried rice and she was like#noooo then you won’t ever come back!#(I’ve been buying there since I was 14 hehe)#and I was like nooooo I’ll never be able to make it as well as u im just moving!#and she ACTUALLY TOLD ME#I wrote a poem about that it meant a lot to me lol like that’s a very#personal & kind thing she did#never been able to recreate it as well as her obviously#so I always always always go back <3
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I have never once played a game of monopoly, but we have had the game for years
I always liked the thimble piece cus it could fit on my fingers
#me tag ∠( ᐛ 」 )|/#I mean this in a literal actual way. it fits my fingers#I’d have to check to see if it still fits. but my hands really aren’t any wider than they’ve ever been#my hands grew longer but they gained no change in width lmao#my nail beds are the same width as my 9 year old sisters. I could wear her tiny baby press on nails#when I talk about how small my hands and arms are I don’t exaggerate lmao I’m just small in some areas#I can stick my entire arm into a Pringle’s can. the really tall ones especially#my dad puts out 1 finger and I can wrap my hand around it baby style#if I go somewhere and they have those bands that you aren’t supposed to be able to take off. I can take it off#it’s one of my special talents 😎 I just wrapped a bendy ruler around my wrist. it was about 5 inches LMAO#yea. very small. very small. I think my ring size is a four 🤔 or a 3 1/2 I can’t remember I don’t really wear rings#I’m scarred I won’t be able to take them off again lmao#y’all remember those brass paper fasteners? the ones you’d use in school to make a pinwheel or smth?#yea I splayed one once and wore it as a ring. it was a perfect fit. like. exactly my size lol it’s funny#I wonder if that would still work 🤔 idk it’s been a few years#the only rings I’d wear are those like. elastic beast ones. they’re the only ones that’ll always fit havagahahahaha
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ohh, it's because this fandom has a dose of motivational texts and photo quotes every time harry gets into stunts, it's like they want to convince themselves that he's going the right way lol
Everyone finds comfort in what they want.
For me it’s humour and snarky comments. The dramatic, apologetic responses are not my thing haha
#ive seen the usual posts taking a new round#like besties… idk what to tell you but a word said 13 years won’t change the fact#your fave is publicly dating the THIRD woman in NINE months#my favourite must be the one that right on time say#‘someone who talks about relationships like this cant be dating a new woman every two months’#AND YET… and yet he proves them wrong#every interaction from harry can be slimy#like tennis player thing lmao#this thing will go away soon and there will be a new one#that’s how this thing goes#I don’t get even mad at the women lol#they probably dont even know he’s gay#this is pure stunt from when it starts to where it finishes#for both of them#it doesn’t matter what those 3/4 loud voices in this fandom say#only to somehow depict harry as a victim#casella di posta numero 32
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so grateful that i managed to restrain myself from properly falling in love with my friend and contained my feelings to a common crush
#she’s just started going out with a guy that i think is really going to last#he’s her friend and i met him quite a few times so i know he’s real sweet and will treat her well and i’m happy about that#i’m actually ecstatic that my feelings for her are shallow because we met up and she talked all about how her date with him went#and i swear she told me he and i are similar like 4 times throughout the conversation#which made me go ouch inside but nothing more#if i liked her more i would have been distraught lmao#and also she told me about when she wasn’t feeling well and he took her to the station and offered to pay the uber that would bring her home#that was really expansive so she wouldn’t take the bus#and she refused and went by bus but told me that was so sweet and that’s when she realized he liked her cause who would do that for her?#and i didn’t say anything but when she started the story i thought she was gonna say that he went in the bus with her to take her home#which is like 1 hour away from our uni cause that’s what i would have done lol#anyway now that she’s got a boyfriend it’s only a matter of time till this crush properly goes away and i can’t wait#i know that the heart chooses what it wants and etc but i think i’m pretty good at nipping my feelings in the bud#like i can’t force them not to exist but when i know that it won’t lead to anything i’m good at stopping myself from fantasizing#or from being overly affectionate and things along those lines#which doesn’t make them go away but hinders their growth#the thing is if i think that i have a chance then i cannot stop myself#and then they grow and grow and grow#and it takes me wayyyy too long to get over it#like it took me 2 years to get over a girl that i did not even date lol#it was really tough for me honestly#and that’s why i’m really careful with my feelings now#i never actually thought i’d have a chance with this friend so that’s why i could keep myself from really falling#anyway i do wish my friend and her bf the best like he’s an actual nice guy and her last bf was definitely not which sucked#and once again i need a tinder account lmao#my post
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so yes I do announce a new best friend every other week and I do crush hard on multiple people at once and then continue to crush again and again from the moment I first meet someone and I know people who are critical of these parts of me but I think it’s simply evidence of my capacity to love and it’s clear I’ve been blessed so there’s that
#I’d say top 3 crushes r the customer crush you all know about#the one who changed the course of my life and opened me up to the core of myself#then left me heartbroken and I can’t forget no matter how much I try#and someone else from work lol oops#we then also have star girl 💞 I get so nervous around her but her energy is gorgeous and bright and gentle#I was gonna say she’s like a cold stream on a hot day washing over you then I remembered she’s a pisces#and then the girl with the dogs who ik is queer and I’ve always had a thing for her cos she looks a bit scary but is rly sweet#and that’s my type……..#also the recent times I’ve seen her she has definitely flirted and I’ve definitely blushed#also the chalk artist but that’s cos she gives off noughties butch vibes and it makes me nervous#and then I’m p sure she clocked me and the fact she makes me nervous#and then got a bit cocky about it which makes me melt a bit even more 💘#then also my favourite customers husband#I’ve been instructed to keep him company because she’s away from Xmas#so those are all the notable ones#new besties of late include someone who was a fave customer who now works w me#and is so cool and vibrant I love her#and then another colleague who I trained yday but won’t rly work with#and we got drunk the other night#and basically spent 2 days talking music and mother issues and sexuality with Christian background etc#we have overlapping eclectic taste#just having so much fun#and it’s being pointed out that I get along with everyone and people really like me#and I radiate warmth and generally magnetise others towards me#I feel absolutely surrounded by so much love atm from so many angles#like my home and friends are also bringing so much love into my life#I’m overjoyed#this is my element and what I thrive in
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Hi! Have you already made a post about the parallel of both Crowley and Cas digging a bullet (specifically targeting them) out of their bodies to triumph over their enemies?
I feel like I've seen it.
Hello! I have not, though it’s neat that they both do that! I think it’d be fun to pretend Crowley got the idea from Cas in the first place, after learning what happened to Ion, before getting the chance to use it himself. Although if I remember correctly, Abaddon also frees herself from the devil’s trap bullet by digging it out (with her severed hand no less—VERY metal of her) so maybe it’s just the thing to do lol. Nothing tops Cas sticking his bullet in his opponent’s eye though, that was wicked clever.
It’s interesting that Abaddon wasn’t bothered that Crowley might attempt to free himself in more or less the same fashion she herself so recently accomplished, though I think she only wanted to slow him down rather than actually keep him in place permanently? So maybe it wasn’t a high priority for her anyway. Or maybe the writing is just bad 😭
Anyway if that post about Cas and Crowley’s tactical similarities does exist and you’re able to find it again, let me know! I’d love to have a look.
#Ask#I’m also curious about what kind of injuries will actually kill an angel…. like being stabbed with an angel blade obviously#Getting shot in the head with an angel blade bullet will also do it#But getting shot in the stomach won’t. At least not immediately? Crowley implies Cas will bleed out but#I’m not sure how blood loss would kill an angel exactly?#Maybe blood loss specifically from an angel blade bullet wound??? Lol#And then of course Cas is able to kill Ion by pushing the angel bullet into his eye#Maybe that counts as “stabbing” the way it does with an angel blade?#Or are angels especially vulnerable through their vessels’ eyes?#That might be kind of a cool weakness for angels to have actually. At least in a headcanon sense#Regarding the blood loss though there is a little notion in my head that Crowley was just lying that Cas would bleed out and die#Because Crowley deliberately spared Cas’ life already (when he honestly had no reason to)#(The tablet could have easily been taken off of Cas’ corpse)#But Cas would certainly know better than to think he could die from his vessel merely losing some blood. Even if it still hurt#So maybe Crowley was just saying that to make it seem like “oh I only ‘spared’ your life so you could bleed out painfully”#And not because he actually still cares in his own twisted way#But those are the c/c brainworms talking for sure lol#Anyway.
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was the only first shift part-timer at my job to not quit like 2 weeks in and my manager said he “knew i was a stayer from the moment [he] met [me]” which is like. just manager talk but i’ve been thinking abt it a lot for some reason
#not like it necessarily ‘meant a lot’ to me or anything#like it was nice to hear ofc it’s nice to be appreciated#just like. a ‘stayer’#i’ve had this really weird relationship with this general concept for a minute now and i don’t think i’ve ever really talked about it#because sometimes it kind of feels like all i do is run away LOL#i stopped talking to all my friends from senior year largely because i convinced myself i was complicating things#like. being in their lives was actively making it worse which they didn’t deserve#so i kind of ran away from that instead of trying to work it out because. i don’t know. everything with that situation makes me so tired#but there are other instances that feel like the opposite?#i feel like i’m always either running away from my people problems or sitting and staying like a good dog. forever#something something needs to be useful something#if the. Heh. The best that i could give to you was noth-[GUNSHOT]#but if the best thing i feel like i can do for someone is Not be there. i tend to take that route#knowing full well the entire time it’s not really. rational? but saying that out loud to yourself over and over doesn’t make you believe it#im odd bc im so ‘logical’ but forget that the main reason people have you as a friend is bc they Like You Actually#so im always just kind of looking at people like. equations. this whole thing would be so less complicated if we just took this variable ou#and suddenly i have the power to just take the variable out#idk#i think that whole situation was doomed anyway. maybe i do owe those people better maybe i don’t#hey actually. fuck this i did try#bc they kind of never. like. followed up with me on any of The Situation they kinda just let me deal with that completely on my own ?? 😭#then when it made us all kind of distant and /i/ tried to bring it up they really did not seem to give a fuck about like#making an effort to be real with me#so. i did try. i only have so much to give and i wasn’t going to keep throwing lines out#maybe they did deserve better. but do did i. god so did i#probably won’t delete later but i might delete some of these tags later lol. drama they
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January 23rd
#it’s awful how we knew the second it happened. no one told us and we just knew. we knew it was coming and we figured oh. there. she’s left#she’s probably mad at me for even being sad about her right now#im sure she sees this. lol hi girl love you#and I know if I ended it now she would be so mad#she wouldn’t give me the time of day until I served out my time anyways#so there’s no point calling it quits early. I won’t see her sooner#she was always fair like that#and she’d be mad if I left her sister too#but I feel even worse about that#I can never talk to her. I know she needs me#but they have the same face#and whenever I look at her I see her and I just can’t. look at those sad eyes.#how can two people be so exactly the same. a piece of her soul left early. how is that fair.#I really do need to just suck it up and be there for her#because it must be even worse for her#she looks into the mirror and sees the dead. a part of her is forever gone. her own face belongs to a dead girl#who am I to complain when there’s someone experiencing that and she needs me
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